#dude sounds like baelish

[melrosing]

MBO Robert's Rebellion: Episode 9

If this were like GOT this would be the big WOW episode. I guess it is in the sense of ‘WOW Tywin and Aerys FINALLY get divorced’.

btw we have skipped one year since last time. next is harrenhal go figure

Prev: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8

Next: Episode 10

title for this one: irreconcileable differences babes

Sumner Crakehall (+ retinue) & Arthur Dayne ride through the Kingswood: they’re here to take out the Kingswood Brotherhood, a band of outlaws. SUDDENLY: ambush!!!

Ringing steel, 20-30 dudes fighting it out under the trees. Lord Sumner Crakehall, battling a foe, has his back to an outlaw of great stature wielding an equally sizeable warhammer (that’s Big Belly Ben of the four line wiki fyi)

Just as BBB takes aim, a young Jaime Lannister  (15) leaps between the two, and with alarming alacrity manages to fight off the outlaw in Sumner’s defence. Their fight is shortly interrupted by a smaller man, dressed in what look like rags: he wears a half-crazed smile, and is eager for a challenge

Jaime vs the Smiling Knight etc. Both are extremely fast, and the Smiling Knight laughs every time he comes close to landing a blow. Jaime holds his ground impressively, till one blow comes close to taking his head off; in an Epic Move, Arthur Dayne abruptly intersects

SK and Arthur circle one another, Crakehall holding young Jaime back at the sidelines; the Smiling Knight announces he would like Ser Arthur’s Sword for himself - Arthur declares that he shall have it, then. This is the first time we see Arthur kill, and he is deadly efficient about it

When the Smiling Knight lays dead, all stand around in stunned silence, till Arthur approaches Jaime. He states that he would make the boy a knight, and Jaime wears his delight like a kid

Opening creds ⚔️

Jaime kneels in a tiny sept, lit only by a handful of candles. He’s praying earnestly to the Warrior. Arthur arrives and places a hand on his shoulder. Jaime is knighted in half a daze, and we see his white tunic turn red at the shoulders as the blade cuts him (I ask again GRRM: what the fuck). He rises, and Arthur looks him dead in the eye, pronouncing him a knight: somehow it sounds almost like a warning

Jaime on horseback, grinning like a fool, reaches a crossroads - he can head back to the Westerlands, or to the capital to visit Cersei. Buzzing with his excitement, Jaime chooses the latter

In King’s Landing: Elia Martell lies in bed, receiving a visit from her brother Oberyn: he holds her daughter Rhaenys. Rhaenys looks some months old, but it seems Elia isn’t recovered from the birth. Oberyn says that Elia ought to come home to Dorne where the air is cleaner, Elia smiles but won’t indulge the notion. When Oberyn tries to push it, she grows impatient at his insistence, and then fatigued; a nearby maester suggests that Oberyn ought to leave the Princess to rest

Cersei in Tywin’s solar; her father sits at his desk, writing in silence. Cersei pokes at the correspondence on his desk to see if anything is of interest, finds nothing. Eventually Tywin speaks to her, saying she’ll have heard of Elia’s poor health. Cersei says she has. Tywin suspects that Elia is not long for this world, and that Rhaegar will soon be in need of another wife for that all important male heir. Cersei smiles, taking the hint; Tywin looks like he’s almost smiling. Cute father-daughter moments <3

Tywin says he is also close to making a match for Jaime. Kill Bill sirens

Cat (17) and Lysa (15) at Riverrun, Cat braiding Lysa’s hair with flowers. The sisters are aware that a betrothal is impending, and Lysa is anxious - Jaime didn’t seem very interested last he was here. Cat assures her that both he and Lysa have grown now, and he’ll surely fall in love next he sees her - and in any case, he’s a far greater prospect than Petyr Baelish. Lysa considers this :/

Jaime rides up to King’s Landing, and is greeted at the Keep by Cersei. Jaime is hardly off his horse before he’s informing her of his knighthood, and a fugue look passes across Cersei’s face - another thing she’ll never have. Abruptly, she dismisses Jaime’s news and warns him of an impending threat. He must meet her in Eel Alley tonight, and she’ll tell him everything. Cersei rushes away, leaving Jaime perplexed

Rhaegar and Elia in Elia’s bedchambers. Rhaegar plays the harp for Rhaenys, and is pleased by his daughter’s interest in the sound. Elia thanks Rhaegar for coming to see her, and says she’s feeling better than she had the day before. Rhaegar agrees that is good. He tells her he has dreamt again, of a boy with silver hair - they will have a son. Elia says she’s not sure she’s ready for another child just yet; Rhaegar agrees, now is too soon, but when she is healed, she must tell him so. Elia, uneasy, agrees

Evening: Jaime wandering Eel Alley, checks the name of a tavern - enters, takes a room apparently by instruction and waits, confused. Eventually Cersei arrives in common garb, and before Jaime can ask further questions, she kisses him. From Jaime’s surprised expression, it looks as though this is a habit they’d almost fallen out of - but just as quickly they fall back into it

Aerys in some kind of dungeon with the pyromancers. He asks that they show him again how the substance works - can it be controlled? The pyromancers demonstrate, using a rat. Aerys is enchanted. He says there are prisoners at the Keep of no import, they can test on those next

Morning: Jaime wakes besides Cersei, looking deliriously happy. Cersei breaks the mood by informing him of the impending betrothal. Jaime isn’t thrilled: he supposes it could be worse, but Lysa’s sister was more - stops, catches himself. Cersei says it doesn’t have to be that way: Jaime’s already proved himself a great knight, so why doesn’t he prove himself greater still and join the Kingsguard?? Cersei’s stuck in King’s Landing after all and will probably be married to Rhaegar just as soon as his wife dies, so surely it all makes perfect sense?? Jaime is in two minds; Cersei kisses him over and over until Jaime, laughing, agrees

nice one jaime I’m sure this will work out well for you

We see Cersei whisper something to one of Elia’s ladies in the waiting; game of telephone begins, till this information is in the hands of Varys, who delivers it to the King himself

Skip forward some weeks: Tywin, apparently managing some dealings at the Rock, receives a missive from the King. He opens it, and looks STRICKEN

We watch Tywin walking through hallways in a single long shot (yes im the director here as well xo). His face is a fucking storm

Tywin goes to his son, demanding how this came about. It’s the first we’ve heard him shout. Jaime says he has no idea, insisting still under Tywin’s furious gaze, looks like a kid again. But, he suggests that perhaps he could simply decline? Tywin knows that’s not an option anymore: he walks out

A silent scene, in which we see Hoster break some news to Lysa; Lysa crumples on the spot

Later, in Tywin’s solar: there are many and various broken ornaments (probs priceless) lying about his desk. Tywin summons his maester, and tells him to write to the King that he finds himself unwell, and cannot return to King’s Landing: he must resign

[owlsinathens]

For the question-meme: 002 Petyr Bealish, because I can't remember we ever discussed him.

Aaaah, Littlefinger....

- He's my most hated of all the GoT characters. I hate him more than any of the others. It's just the series but he gave my darling Ros to Joffrey. Unforgivable

- Arya's dirk. Which used to be his own. That's who I ship him with. Great romantic scene when the valyrian steel met his throat.

- Hmmmm as to non-romantic, I guess the moon door would have been fun too.

- Unpopular opinion, good question. I kinda wish the Stark dudes would have rounded him up more thoroughly, Ned and Jon. They both had him by the neck and failed to squeeze the life from his lungs. Pity.

- More suffering. Much more. Lots more. All of it. My violent streak knows no moderation when it comes to Baelish

- Petyr/Violent Slow Death is a great OTP

- crossover ship: Petyr/Cruciatus? dunno

- a headcanon: idk. I'm still holding back my verdict for book!Baelish so I don't really have headcanons on him except for gruesome wishes for show!Baelish

Thanks for the ask! 😀 I'm aware I sound like a complete psychopath now, but where Littlefinger is concerned I lose all countenance 🙈

[madamebaggio]

Notes: Hey!!!!

I’ve done everything I wanted to do today and now I’m dead tired, but feeling like an accomplished human being... hahaha

So this follows this.

Also, don’t worry so much about how a real University works, this is fanfic University and it works in any way that’s necessary to the plot XD

***

Chapter 2

“Hey, Sansa.”

Sansa looked up from her book. “Yes?”

“We’re having a party later at Hot Pie’s.” Arya said. “Do you wanna come?”

Sansa arched a brow. “You want me to hang out with your friends?” She sounded surprised.

“Well… If you want to. I mean, do you have any plans?”

Sansa went back to her book. “No, thank you.”

***

“I don’t know what is wrong with her.” Arya declared frustratedly the next morning. “I came back, she was already sleeping. I offered to watch a movie with her last week and she chose a documentary about climate change!”

“What’s wrong with that?” Hot Pie asked confused.

“Sansa was the queen of rom coms. She remembered lines from ‘You’ve got mail’ by heart. She watched ‘A Cinderella Story’ so many times she had to get a new DVD.” Arya ranted. “Last week I asked her if she’d seen ‘The kissing booth’ and she called it problematic and irresponsible!” By now Arya was getting a few strange looks from the people around. “I mean, I agree, but Sansa thought the dude from ‘The notebook’ was perfect!”

Hot Pie wasn’t sure how to contribute to this conversation. “So your sister doesn’t care about romances anymore….” He concluded carefully. “Why is it so bad?”

“Because this came out of nowhere!” Arya was moving her hands around. “Sansa was the most nauseatingly romantic person on earth. How is that she’s now calling rom coms problematic?”

“Maybe she just got tired of them.”

“I don’t think it’s just that.” Arya insisted. “Her attitude isn’t one of ‘I saw this so much it doesn't impress me anymore’. It’s something like ‘this disgusts me’. And the thing is, it happened out of nowhere.”

“Look, even if something happened…” Hot Pie started carefully. “You won’t know until you talked to her.”

Arya groaned. “I don’t know how to do that!”

“Well, then it’s gonna be hard.”

***

“Professor Bedrydant, you wanted to talk to me?” Arthur Pendragon asked, putting his head inside the Professor’s room.

“Come on in, Mr. Pendragon. And close the door.”

“Yikes. You’re calling me Mr, asking me to close the door…” Arthur sighed as he came closer. “It can’t be good.”

Bedivere’s face showed no amusement at all. “You haven’t been in class lately.”

“I’ve been busy.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “Business.”

Bedivere pulled the cigarette from his lips. “Your business is coming to class.” He told Arthur seriously. “You need to finish University soon, Arthur.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Bedivere, I’m aware. Thank you for reminding me of that.”

Bedivere pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just get out.”

“Love our talks, Beddie.” Arthur called cheerily as he left the classroom.

***

“Ah, there you are, Miss Stark.”

Sansa stopped a few feet away from her teacher.

Professor Hart gave her a flat look. “Are we still on this?” He indicated the space between them.

“It’s nothing personal, Professor. But you do look way too much like my creepy teacher from high school.” She shrugged.

Bill sighed. He had checked said teacher’s Facebook -some man named Petyr Baelish -and they really were disturbingly similar; and since Sansa always kept a good distance between them, he assumed the man must have done something to her.

It angered him that she’d gone through something like that, but it was impossible to get Sansa Stark to speak about anything.

“How can I help, Professor?” She asked him, that politeness that was more fitting to a Lady from the past than a young woman.

“It seems there was a problem with your group.” He started carefully.

“Yes, they weren’t working as they should have.” She told him quite simply.

Bill asked the gods for strength.  “The point is, Miss Stark, people perceive you as somewhat…”

“Tempestuous?” Sansa offered.

“‘Heinous bitch’ is the term used most often.” Bill admitted.

Sansa snorted.

“You might want to work on that.” He advised.

“As always, thank you for your excellent guidance, Professor.” She told him politely, before turning on her back and leaving.

“That one is a cold one.” He murmured to himself.

***

“Okay then.” Bedivere turned his eyes to his class. “What did everyone think of ‘The Sun Also Rises’?”

Some girl on the front row raised her hand. “I loved it.” She sighed. “It was so romantic.”

Sansa snorted, first because of the high school level of comment, but also by the naivety. “Romantic? Hemingway?!” She scoffed, clearly dismissing the girl “He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”

Bedivere rolled his eyes and seemed to be seriously reconsidering all his life choices that had led him to that moment.

          “As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends?” Harrold Hardyng pipped from his place, making some students snort and giggle.

Sansa din’t even turn to look at him. “I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.” She fixed her eyes on Bedivere. “What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir?”

Before Bedivere could open his mouth, the door of the classroom opened and a tall strong boy came in.

“What’d I miss?” Gendry Baratheon asked breathless.

“The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.” Sansa grumbled.

“Right…” He drawled, then turned and left, closing the door after himself.

Bedivere could feel a migraine getting closer.

“Professor Bedrydant.” Harry -as Harrold was more commonly known as - raised his hand. “Is there any chance we could get Stark to take her Midol before she comes to class?”

More snickers from the class.

Bedivere gives him a flat look. “Some day you’re gonna get bitch-slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.” He turned his eyes to Sansa, ignoring everybody’s reaction for the last part. “And Stark... I want to thank you for your point of view.”

Sansa was a smart young woman. She didn’t react at all to what he said, because she was waiting for the trap; she always was.

“I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle class suburban oppression.” He told her, a hand to his chest. “It must be tough.”

It was absolutely fascinating to see how she didn’t give an inch. Bedivere could only guess what she was thinking just then. Bill -who seemed to like her well enough -would often wonder what had possibly happened to Sansa Stark to make her so hard to read.

“But the next time you storm around the campus, crusading for better lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them why they can’t buy a book written by a black man.” He finished, staring at her, the whole silence in complete silence.

He waited for her answer, but she didn’t seem to even blink before giving it. “Could I suggest Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie instead? Even though she isn’t a man?”

Bedivere closed his eyes and counted to ten. “Stark…” He looked at her. “Out.”

She didn’t say anything, she just got up and went.

What a strange young woman.

[crowkingwrites]

Battle of the Bands (Ch.14)

Pairing: Robb Stark x Reader, Jon Snow x Reader, Viserys Targaryen x Reader, Ramsay Bolton X Reader

Summary: You just moved into the city for the first tie all by yourself. After you get your dream summer job working for a small magazine, you find yourself in the middle of the city’s rock festival: Battle of the Bands. Local rock bands throughout the city compete to win a record deal that could change their lives. Your job? Get close to them and write about them online.A single girl in the city surrounded by rocker boys during the summertime. What could possibly go wrong?

Words: 1737 // AO3 Link

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five // Chapter Six // Chapter Seven // Chapter Eight // Chapter Nine // Chapter Ten // Chapter Eleven // Chapter Twelve // Chapter Thirteen

Jon was still on your mind. You liked how he cuddled you. You liked how he kissed you. You shook your head violently. Now was not the time to daydream about Jon. Now was the time to figure your shit out. Well, it would be a lot easier if you had friends on your side.

You texted the most reliable person you knew, hoping they could help.

You to Loras: [Something serious is happening. Tell Renly to be The Scene office. I think we might be getting sued.] Loras: [….good afternoon to you too? Getting sued? What?]

Good you had Loras. Renly was on his way, no doubt. Now Margaery.

You: [911.] Margie within seconds: [Where are you? I can get you. Whats wrong?] You: [I fucked up. Viz is gonna take down The Scene for that article I wrote. He’s gonna sue and I’m going to get fired.] Margie: [That’s…bad. That’s bad dude. We’re going to figure it out. Whatever happens, I got your back.]

Margie’s on board. Then again, Margie’s always been on board with you for anything. Best friends are funny like that. One moment, you’re helping her throw up in a bar in a part of town you’ve never been in before while also texting a thirst trap. The next moment Margie’s helping you potentially go to court.

She was your ride or die, and right now, you’d rather die than text Jon about Robb. As much as you hated it, you needed Robb. This was his magazine.

You to Jon: [That article about Viserys. He saw it and he’s gonna try to take me and The Scene to court. What do I do?]

The anxiety settled in like an old, toxic friend. She made your skin crawl, and your heart beat erratically. You felt so stupid. You put yourself here. You did this to yourself. This was all your fault and you could have prevented it, but you’re stupid. You’re so stupid.

You: [Ramsay told me. How do we tell your brother? This is bad. I’m panicking]

Robb wouldn’t forgive you now. Robb was so fucking stupid for hiring you in the first place. He was definitely going to fire you now. You wish you could punch yourself. If you had been more careful, this wouldn’t have happened. If you had been less slutty and flirty with everyone, this wouldn’t have happened.

You heard the door to the office click open. Your eyes landed on Robb who was holding his face. You quickly texted Jon one more time.

You: [Never mind. He’s here at the office. He knows. I think he’s going to fire me.]

Robb glanced your way before heading into his office. All was quiet save for Robb shuffling things around his desk. You stood there, waiting for your sealed fate. You took a step towards his office, but hesitated. Maybe he needed space.

“So you know,” Robb said from his office, breaking the silence.

“I know?”

“Viz texted me this morning. He sent me threats,” Robb explained. “He’s at Roose Bolton’s office. I think him and Ramsay are working together on this one.”

“They’re not,” you corrected. “Ramsay’s on our side.” Robb walked out of his office with a scowl on his face. He closed his eyes and exhaled.

“You know what? I don’t wanna know. I don’t care,” Robb continued gathering papers and looking through desks. “What we need to do now is call a lawyer.”

“Okay! Great! Let’s call him!” You clapped. Robb slowly blinked.

“I’m looking for his card. I don’t have his number on my phone,” Robb pushed past you. He went into Sansa’s desk and looked through her contacts on her computer. You sat at your own computer and started to print out what you could. Your notes. Your articles. Anything that could help you now.

Your anxiety continued to pump through your veins. Why hasn’t he fired you yet? Why was he so angry that Ramsay was on your side? How were you going to make it through today?

“Oi! I’m here!” Renly greeted. Your anxiety was partly relieved to hear Renly’s voice. You sighed and turned to see your mutual friend. “We’re getting sued?”

“Yes. Viserys threatened us this morning. I’m trying to call the family lawyer, but I can’t find his number.”

“Did you talk to Jon?” Renly asked. “Didn’t he need Petyr last month for—why are you looking at me like that?” Robb glared at Renly. His hands gripped tight at the pile of paper he had in his hand.

“Yes. I tried to talk to Jon. I went over to his apartment. He was busy,” Robb glared at you for a moment, but then let it go. He slammed down the pile of papers and returned to his office. Renly looked at you and inched closer.

“What happened?” Renly whispered.

“Jon and I were…kissing when he saw us,” you bit your lip.

“Oh. That kind of busy,” Renly continued whispering. “Are you okay? You looked freaked out.”

“Oh? Oh. No, no, no. I’m fine. I’m fine,” you said.

“You’re speaking too fast. You’re not okay. What happened?” The anxiety built up slowly over time, but it only got worse. Your self-loathing voice spoke louder than everyone in the quiet room.

You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. You were so stupid. It just kept repeating and repeating. Your wet eyes and short breath gave you away. Now, you looked weak.

“Hey,” Robb snapped his fingers in your face. “I’m not going to fire you.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to fire you. Just help me find Petyr’s phone number, alright? Start with that.” You eyed Sansa’s computer again. For a social media influencer, she was very responsible. You darted towards her clean, IKEA-bought desk and searched through her contact list once more.

You hadn’t met Robb’s eldest sister yet, but you had a feeling you would like her. She had pictures of her friends and family all over her desk. One picture caught your eye. Her, Jon, and Robb all together in a silly photo booth. Robb and Jon made a moustache with Sansa’s bright red hair. All three of them were laughing.

And here you are, watching a very upset Robb scrambling to get everything together.

You didn’t see your boss. You didn’t see a potential boyfriend. You just saw Robb trying to keep it together while he spoke with his father on the phone.

“I know. I know!” Robb stressed. “Do you think I care? Jon punched me today. How about that for problem child huh?”

You came into this family, this city, and ruined everything. Jon and Robb were brothers, now they were fighting. Ramsay couldn’t chase his dreams anymore. Viserys was losing his career. All because of you.

The realization didn’t hit as hard as a ton of bricks. You made a soft ‘oh’ sound, and turned back to Sansa’s computer. Renly had noticed.

While scrolling through once more, you saw a weird nickname: LF

“Littlefinger?” you said quietly to yourself. You clicked on his name to see Petyr Baelish’s face, phone number, address, and work emails. Bingo. Robb ducked into his office again as he argued with his father on the phone. You quickly printed out the contact information and left it on Robb’s closed door.

You wiped away the tears in your eyes as you headed out the door.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Renly asked. His knitted eyebrows told you everything.

“I can’t be here. I’ve ruined everything. I think I should just go,” you confessed. Renly put his hand on your shoulder.

“Do what you have to do, ok? Take care of yourself first. Never mind Robb. He can be an ass sometimes,” Renly patted you. Both of you heard another rise from Robb. Something crashed and Robb yelled a very loud ‘Fuck!’ in his office. Renly hugged you goodbye, and you left the office.

It was a short ride home considering the day you had. After receiving texts from Jon and Ramsay, you just flat out turned off your phone. The world needed to be quieter for just a moment. You needed to think.

When you opened the door to your apartment, you found a calm Margaery sitting on your couch. She immediately ran up to you with a warm embrace and a cup of chamomile tea. She kissed your head and you felt your anxiety melting away into nothing.

“So, you had a shit day,” Margie half-smiled. “Do you need to talk about it?”

“I think I realized something,” you said quietly. “I came to this city to live with you and get out of my parents’ space, right?”

“Yeah! And its been so much fun!” Margie patted your knee. “I love having you here. Loras loves having you here. And of course, the men—

“I’ve hurt people,” you interrupted. “I’m having fun, but I’ve hurt people. Did you now that Jon punched Robb over me? That’s what Robb said. Ramsay? He has to work a straight job now because of me.”

“You don’t know that,” Margie sat closer to you. “Nobody knows who kicked out Ramsay’s band, ok? That’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, but what if I wasn’t here? Robb’s magazine wouldn’t be in the shit hole. Ramsay would still have a band. Viserys would still have a career. The Stark brothers wouldn’t be fighting—

“Whoa. Listen to me. Viserys is an asshole. Who cares about him? Not everything is your fault. Stop doing this to yourself.”

“You ended up in the hospital and I ignored it for a boy, Margaery,” you put your face in your hands. All of the words pouring out made your chest tight.

“And I forgave you! It’s fine! Really! You’re scaring me. What’s going on with you?” Margie stressed her last sentence to you. You had enough.

“I think I need to move back home,” you confessed. “I ruined everyone’s lives here. I don’t belong here. I need to go back home.”

Note to Self: Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written It’s plain to see That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemptions  Would you agree?

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[mrs-storm-andrews]

Storm watches GoT 8x05...

Poor Varys. I've always had a soft spot for him. Just like I had for Baelish.

Jon talking to Dany about him loving her and her being his queen... When did you become such a fool, boy?

Daenerys should have stayed in Meereen. She had a good life and a good standing over there.

Tyrion does nothing but pleading these days. In former years he would have come up with a ruse instead. Those were the days, my friend.

Arya and the Hound on the road... cool, I guess?

People will be mad about Jaime's arc, but to me it feels natural. He has been with Cersei all his life, it's hard to escape that. I knew he would be with her in the end as well.

Ok, Tyrion tries something sneaky, at last.

These Greyjoy ships are fucking beautiful.

What happened to Yara, by the way?

Arya and the Hound... It's getting a little too cool for my liking.

Shouldn't the head dude of the Golden Dudes™ be wearing a helmet, too?

Cersei's dress is a freaking killer. Love it.

Euron jumping off a burning ship... I see you. Is he dead, though? Euron needs to be killed by a Greyjoy not some stupid dragon.

I told you, the head dude of the Golden Dudes™ wasn't well equipped.

Gruesome battle scenes - I'm always a sucker for that.

Cersei is being in denial. Give her an epic end at least. She deserves epicness.

Dudes surrender, but will die anyway, won't they?

Someone did Daenerys' hair...

Hit the fucking bell already! Ah there it comes...

No, Daenerys. Don't do it. That's not you.

Ok, she did it... But it's only consequent after all she's been through in the past episodes.

Did I mentioned that I love gruesome battle scenes?

The soundtrack and sound editing are on point, as usual.

Jon realising what fool he was.

Oh Euron, there you are... And Jaime's gonna kill you. What did I say about Euron and being killed by a Greyjoy? I mean it.

Oh... Jaime, are you alright?

They should both be dead by now.

Theon dies from a little stabby stabby and Jaime just walks away? That's what I call some heavy as shit plot armour.

Arya just letting go? What was this entire assassin story arc actually needed for in the end?

Spare me with Cleaganbowl... Nobody cares for that shit. Two brick heads smashing each others brick heads. Amazing...

Jaime and Cersei as it's supposed to be. Will they at least die together now?

Spare. Me. With. Fucking. Cleaganbowl.

I'm hungry...

They portraied the horrors of the townspeople very well. I like that.

Is Arya just trying to escape or does she have a plan?

Goodness, I hate Cleaganbowl. He does the eye thing again... Finally done with it. And I actually like the visuals of their death.

Arya and the city covered in dust and blood. Again, these visuals are fantastic.

Arya reminding me of s1 Arya. I like that. She's no fucking super hero after all.

Jaime still walks... Like being impaled by a dagger means nothing to a freaking Lannister.

Sorry for Braime shippers, but I knew he would choose Cersei in the end.

Are they dead now? That's it? Just covered with debris? Not as epic of an ending as I hoped for...

Go and have some vacation, Arya.

I'm really hungry by now.

Burnt King's Landing looks amazing. Probs to the set builders.

Music ON POINT.

Episode MEDIOCRE but I was entertained

[saltyafmf-blog]

Davos, Edd and Tormund & BRIENNE OF FUCKING TARTH, also why Daenarys isn't the one for Jon(also I'm the Valonqar of Jonareys)

Ever since Jon and Sansa reunited the intense breathing, the constant eye fucking that they do with each other and all of that innappropiate tension, three men and Brienne, have literally been the only few people in the show to see the tension, like when Dadvos said "jon isn't a stark" and sansa replies "no, but I am"

She literally and very subtly proposed to Jon, and Davos and Edd shoot a look at each other

Like our Boi GRRM, Jon has a major thing for redheads, partly because Catelyn never gave him love, so in a way Jon tries to find a redhead that he can get validation as well as support, and Jon does the same for Sansa, he understands how she felt after everything she went through (Joffery, Ramsey & littlefinger and in the books there's like 2 other dudes who want Sansa's claim to winterfell) so she's been abused, raped and defiled, she feels at her strongest when Jon is with her, he also sees her need for recognition, remember Jon would have died at the BoTB or as I like to say bastardbowl, if Sansa hadn't gone to Moat Cailin to get the KoTV, Jon would have been food for Ramsay's dogs, it was her who won the battle. All being said and done, Jon does feel indebted to Sansa, she was in the prime leadership spot, but Northern Lords crowned Jon, he doesn't want the Crown, but he doesn't want Sansa to be fucked over by the power the Northern Crown gives her, he loves her and wants to protect her.

Also just wanted to point out that Jon didn't tell Danny much, she knows about Robb and Rickon, then later finds out that Arya and Bran are alive, which only happened because the raven was sent to Dragonstone and seen as Danny controls the area, she's obviously gonna know what's on the scroll. Then there's the whole Jon dying thing that was abruptly stopped by Jon when Dadvos said "he gave his own lif-" then later Danny sees that he was stabbed. Also Jon knew Maester Aemon Targaryen, why didnt Jon say anything? He doesn't trust her, she's impulsive and she's bathed in her own words "fire and blood", Jon gave away as much as SHE needed to know.

And when Jon left WF, Sansa didn't stop looking in Jon's direction the entire fucken time, and the Littlefingers like (hmm, when brothers and sister develop certain feelings towards each other) and then from there, he begins taunting Sansa, by saying "ive heard the silver headed gorgeous devil is beautiful and jon is young and unmarried, then Sansa is like "what?! You think Jon wants to marry her" Littlefinger was purposefully trying to get a reaction out of her, which he got, from both Sansa and Jon and you Jonareys bros have got to admit, there was so much Jealousy coming from Sansa I could smell it from Winterfell to fucking Dorne.

There's also a scene that was deleted or not shot (I can't remember which one) but Jon talks to Ghost before leaving WF, it supposedly says that Jon told Ghost to watch over Sansa, now I know Ghost protects people that Jon cares for as evident when Sam was protecting Gilly from Bros of The Nights Watch beat the shit out of Sam and then Ghost comes in and scares the fuck out of them, but Jon didn't tell Ghost to watch over Sam, yet he told Ghost to watch over Sansa... coincidence.... I think not.

Jon and Sansa Sibling Upbring was literally non existent, they never really had much to say Jon was busy brooding or dodging Catelyn, where Sansa wanted to become a proper Lady, she even says something along the lines of "Jon is jealous of Joffery, but he's sad because he's a bastard" she even asks him to forgive her when they Reunite at Castle Black, who else got shivers when that Hug happened?

Also the background theme music and Clothes worn by Jon and Sansa match like fucking when couples got matching Onesies, like bro when Jon went to Dragonstone he was all clad in black with subtle hints of grey and blue, whereas Sansa and Jon are matching clothes since S7 Ep1. Did anyone else get freaked out about Danny's background themes, the music was Dark and ominous as fuck, also look at how she dressed, she wore scales on her dress when arriving at Dragonstone, but as Jon is there, you can actually see that her outfits are going from less scaley to normal westerosi types of clothes to please Jon, to make herself seem more normal and less dragonlike.

Also when Danny loses her Dornish and Ironborn allies, she wants to use Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal, Davos then says "you'll want to discuss this between yourselves", then Danny says "you will stay" and then proceeds to ask Jon what she should do and Jon gives her that speech, but what I found weird was the look Jon gave her after he said all this, it's like he knows that Danny will listen to him and Tyrion gives sort of weird one, Tyrion by the end of the season has no traction at all with Danny, she's stopped listening and going on Crazy rants, Tyrion understands the consequences of Danny listening to Jon, you guys have got to understand this isn't the first time Jon has played someone, remember the whole Jon/Wilding Arc? It was to show that Jon isn't who you think he is.

Season 7 is SUBTEXT

Then there's Neds Promise to Sansa "when you come of age, I'll find you someone who is worth of you, brave and strong but kind" ahem ahem sounds like Jon... ding ding ding ding we have a winner JON FUCKING BROODING IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE SNOW

It's okay Jonareys shippers, I have come to destroy your fleets and cast you aside, but unlike Danny, I won't set you on fire with a dragon, I'll let Arya behead you bitches, cus if you guys can't see how everything Jon is doing is for the North and who's in the North? Who did the KiTN leave the North too? I mean my man turns into a fucking bear and pins Littlefinger against a wall, like I got sister's who got boyfriends and you don't see or hear of anyone choke slamming a potential suitor into a brick fuckin wall??? Also just to sink your ship even further

Jon - "i'd uh bend the knee but" (everything before the word but is horseshit) I mean look at the Gif below, Daenarys is looking with lust and passion, but Jon looks like he just wants to get it over and done with (in Petyr Baelish's words "when you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, best to close your eyes and get it over with) I AM NOT CALLING DANNY UGLY, I'm just trying to find evidence that matches with what's going on in Westeros

Jon's cold arrival on Dragonstone, she literally takes his boat and Longclaw and says "yeah but nah but yeah, I'm not here to argue grammar" (which is a major ass call back to Season 2 when Danny wants ships)

Jon is the motherfucking Heir to the IT, which weakens Danny's claim to it (She might be the mother of dragons, but law is law, yes she's allowed to go to war for that throne, but westeros has Legitmacy laws, and succession laws, either fucking way, he's got the better claim but so does Gendry) with her being Third in line when Aerys the 2nd was alive, and if you follow succession, it goes Rhaegar, Viserys and then Danny, but because Jon is Rhaegar' s heir he inherits the throne because Rhaegar was meant to inherit the throne after his father's death and after Rhaegar' s death at the Trident, the throne goes to Jon (Also when Ned arrives at the tower of Joy, Ser Arthur Dayne says to "I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Lord Stark" and they start fighting but Ser Arthur Dayne said that cus he expected Ned to go to war with Robert cus Jon is the king) Also his Queen is in the Gif below

Sansa is the key to the North and Jon knows it, he knows when he's back in the North, the northern lords will be pissed af at him, but if he marries Sansa he gets to keep the North (remember Jon doesn't want the 7K, he wants the North to be secure and free)

Danny is literally 2 fucking Tsar Bombas (really powerful nukes) and when she realises that Jon was playing the game, she is gonna use them (season 2, house of the undying, the visions she has) Kings Landing is literally what Danny wants and I'm more than willing to bet she's gonna turn Drogon and Rhaegal loose on Kings Landing, what do you guys think she's willing to do to the North?

She burnt Poor Dickon and Cunt Randyll, which is Sam's dad and bro, like I know he was a dick, but your dad and your brother is family, and Sam has strong family values, do you really think Jon will be pleased to hear this? I think the fuck not

Also I get a weird feeling Jon is gonna bond with Rhaegal which for Danny *insert "where are my dragons" meme here* (She loves her "kids" and like any mom during a custody battle, it's going to turn Sour)

Also Sansa is a big threat, she not a "stupid little girl" anymore, she's been forming Alliances, she knows Houses from KL and all the way to the wall, Danny might have nukes (dragons) but what she gonna do burn everyone? ("I'm not here to be Queen of the ashes" but bitch if you carry on the way your are, there's gonna be no one left, what she gonna rule over? "A graveyard", when Jon said this something didn't sit right with me

Did anyone notice that when Jon went beyond the wall him and Jorah Mormont had a convo about his kids and Longclaw, the stark theme music started playing and guess who the fak turns up into the Frame???? SANSA MOTHERFUDGING, LEMON CAKE STARK.

My point being it's not gonna work for long between Jon And Danny, it's a song of ice and fire, not ice and fire and fire, also you motherfuckers are okay when Jon is slipping Longclaw into Danny's pussy, who is his aunt ( like who the fuck fucks their aunt?) But you guys can't stomach Jonsa? Got a problem leave it in the comments, I'll fucken slay you with facts fight me turd, also I kind of trailed off here

Also if you guys think Danny's pregnancy is gonna go full term, you guys are clearly fucken dumb, the magic in the world if ice and fire is coming to an end, all the giants are dead, the children of the forrest all but forgotten, and the direwolves will outlive them all but there time will come to an end for men shall outlive them all, for man has no room for Direwolves, eventually they too will die, Danny has two Dragons which are magic, Daenarys is fucken fireproof (She isn't fireproof in the books) that to me sound like magic, I'm not gonna say that Danny is gonna die cus S8 isn't out yet, but if you guys think that there gonna be another Targ baby (born of pure Targaryen lineage) your sadly mistaken, I really do think Danny is barren, Daario Naharis wasn't firing blanks at her, she just can't get preggers. JON WAS JUST TESTING TO SEE HOW DANNY KNEW SHE WAS BARREN AND THEN THE BOATBANG WAS LEGIT JUST A FUCKING WAY OF ENSURING THAT SHE WILL GO NORTH AND FIGHT THE DEAD BECAUSE JON KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES HIM

In the words of THE BASTARD OF THE DREADFORT "if you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention"

*sips wine, lights cigarette, watches the entire Jonareys fandom burn, like Lady Olenna but I'm male so more of a Tywin I guess*

[tiny-little-bird]

Just before Jon goes all angry kitten on Baelish, observe his face(" Not even thank you"? till " As I loved her mother")- It does not make a whole lot of sense. Jon somehow starts boiling with anger before Baelish utters the trigger word. As if he knew that the rat bastard would bring up Sansa. And he would be more than happy to chew him to pieces. A platonic brother-sister relationship? NADA. This was a dude being possessive of the woman he loved. At least thats what I think. Care to comment?

I know, that is NOT how a brother behaves. His face and reaction, literally screamed “Oh no you didn’t, she is MINE.”

I wrote this before, we’ve never heard jon make that animalistic growl, that he made in that scene, before he chokes Littlefinger, and how his mouth twitches, I was like OMG looking at that scene. THAT was not meant to be platonic. He acts possessively, as if Sansa is his, as is she’s off limits to everyone/anyone, but, him. 

And then he comes out the crypts two minutes after, and looks at Sansa with such sadness, but at the same time, tenderness in his eyes, he waves at her, she smiles and waves back, then he lowers his hand, looks at her just a bit longer, then turns around and leaves, and then it pans to Sansa, you can see sadness in her eyes, and fear, for Jon’s life, fear he might never make it back home, you can literally hear the sounds of Sansa’s heart breaking 💔😩

EVERYONE saw these strange reactions from Jon this season, he’s had them 3 times, 1st with Littlefinger, then with Tyrion, and lastly with Theon. And the way both Jon and Sansa look at each other, it is not brotherly/sisterly love, there is 100% something else going on. Even many tv show directors/screenwriters, who write and direct romance, have noticed it, and they have no shipper goggles on, or whatever. We can’t be ALL crazy, come on lol 😂😂 

D&D have planted the seeds throughout season 6 and season 7, and they will flourish in season 8. 

The only ones who, LITERALLY refuse to see, and are in denial, are J*onerys shippers, who apparently, whenever there was a Jonsa scene, a scene where Sansa was brought up to Jon, and where Sansa mentioned Jon, they apparently put cucumbers on their eyes or something lmao 🙃🤣🤣

Jonsa has had so many romantic tropes in their scenes, that at one point I found myself thinking, wow D&D this is getting out of control, but please, continue, we don’t mind, quite the opposite. 😉😂😂

There is nada platonic about these two, and honestly, the chemistry between Kit and Soph, is off the charts. Their acting is on point, there is sexual tention, there is awkwardness, there is love, sweet stares, sweet glances, lip staring contests, they exasperate each other, they drive each other mad, they talk to each other, they scream at each other, open up to each other, don’t keep secrets, they trust each other, they would both do anything to protect the other, they fight but they quickly make up, and they complement each other beautifully.

J*onerys had none of this. Jon is like a close shell around her, he doesn’t open up with her at all, and you can see he’s very weary of her. He’s seen she’s moody, throws temper tantrums, she’s unpredictable, she’s narcissistic, entitled, power hungry, pyromanic and the list can go on. 

Jon could not fall in love with a woman like her, a woman who has seen the army of the dead, and yet still hesitates, to go North to help save the world. Had Cercei stayed put on her decision to not cease fire, she would have not gone North to help, because “Cercei would’ve came in, and taken the kingdoms back”. She thinks of herself as this hero, this good hearted person, when really she’s not, it’s just a facade, she loves being cheered, she loves have people fall at her feet in adoration, that’s what drives her, for the most part. She would put a throne, before the people, she would let the NK and his army invade and murder innocent peoole, to sit on a “pretty chair”, and rule above all.  I repeat, Jon could NEVER love a woman like that, a woman who puts power before everyone and everything.

#JonsaIsComing 💙

[templeofshame]

Why Not?

Thanks to @capriciouscrab and @agingphangirl for the tag.

Rules: Answer 30 questions and I don't know 20 people (on Tumblr, anyway).

Nicknames: Zan is a nickname. One of my coworkers calls me GD (which is short for garbage disposal).

Gender: Female

Star sign: Aquarius

Height: 5'1"

Time: 5:54pm

Birthday: Feb. 10

Favorite bands: I'm in kind of a weird place with music right now; I can either sound like a classic rock asshole and say the Stones and Pink Floyd, or pretend I'm still in college and obsessed with Girlyman. Does Joe Iconis & Family count as a band?

Favorite solo artist: Patti Smith? Grimes, Janelle Monae, Amanda Palmer. Probably some dudes too but I'm not thinking of them right now except Bowie and Bob Dylan.

Song stuck in your head: Space Oddity by David Bowie

Last movie: I legitimately don't remember. Who did I last watch a movie with?

Last TV show: Brooklyn Nine Nine

Why did you create your blog: Because the phandom was luring me in.

What do you post: Reblogged d&p gifs involving laughter and/or dogs, random thoughts, fic recs, things I fangirl over that aren't d&p (e.g. new musical theatre, John Finnemore)

Last thing you googled: all american protective services (not spon)

Other blogs: I don't really post to @prof-oak-judges-you (Pokemon Snap) or @eatfreeordie (cooking with free food) currently.

Why url: It felt right for a space to celebrate my personal shames, or at least what would be if I weren't so bad at shame. (I'm great at guilt but not great at shame.)

I follow: 104

Followers: 113

Average hours of sleep: 6-7 hours, in theory

Lucky number: I'm gonna pretend it says favorite number (42)

Instrument: I own a ukulele I have yet to learn to play; I can play piano but I don't have one.

What are you wearing: green dress pants and a vaguely sparkley turtleneck

Dream job: if only I knew

Dream trip: I wanna go to that chicken temple in Indonesia but probably my skin would hate Indonesia.

Favorite food: I really like food.

Favorite songs right now: "Come Down Now" from Passing Strange, the new Amanda Palmer song she still hasn't released and it's driving me crazy

Last book I read: Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell

Everybody’s already tagged; I guess if it wants to jump fandoms, @my-sun-my-baelish could do it (if she wants).

[writcrinthedark]

The Spoils of War: Thoughts on the episode

Y’ALL. I AIN’T EVEN BREATHING RN WHAT IS THIS OHMYGOD DRAGONS!!! I MEAN JUST DROGON BUT OK AND DANY!! IN BATTLE!! BITCH!!! ARYA FIGHTING BRIENNE!!!! TWO!!! TWO (2) STARK REUNIONS IN ONE EPISODE. I HAVE BEEN B L E S S E D BY THIS EPISODE. MY CROPS ARE WATERED, MY SKIN IS CLEAR, AND MY HUSBAND IS BACK FROM THE  WAR. Y’ALL STRAP IN FOR THIS WILD RIDE WITH LOTS OF CAPS LOCK

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT YO!

First of, we get the creepy creep creeping creepily around Winterfell. We all know there is only one person who requires this many creeps. I love how he was trying to turn Bran to his side with his sweet talk and Lord Stark this Lord Stark that, then Bran ’404 Emotion not found’ Stark just went “chaos is a ladder” on him. Which is, of course, part of his long spiel in the throne room some seasons ago about his ambitions. He is understandably creeped out. How does it feel being on the receiving end, Baelish? Maybe now you’ll stop whispering weird shit in poor Sansa’s ear.

ARYA!!! HOME!!! IN WINTERFELL!!! REUNITING WITH SANSA IN FRONT OF NED STARK’S CRYPT!! dude. the significance of this i cannot even?? they’ve come full circle. ned used to try to get arya and sansa to stop fighting by saying that line we heard in the trailer:

“When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.”

And here they are, living that truth, in front of his grave. Can somebody?? please??? scream with me?? And it was a little awkward and a lot perfect and dude. Wow. Mentioning the kill list and having Sansa laugh is a nice touch at how long the Starks have been separated. Arya’s reunion with Bran is !!!!! like she got a sweet new Valyrian steel dagger but good ol’ Bran is still channeling the Terminator, if the Terminator was psychic. It makes me so sad that Bran would never be the same again. None of the characters ever will be, but Bran more than most. He didn’t even acknowledge Meera much when she left, and that is incredibly telling. Gods, I’m getting so emotional over this.

I’m glad Arya and everyone else agrees with me that command suits Sansa. I really like the sound of Lady Stark, and how you can see both Ned and Catelyn in her in both appearance and demeanor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Sansa has one of the best character arcs in the entire series full of good character arcs, given that it didn’t kill off that character prematurely.

The Arya sparring with Brienne scene made me live like 50 years longer than my life span. The joy on her face. The confusion and pride and mix of emotions that played out on Sansa’s face. Littlefinger nodding to Arya, which makes me beyond nervous. I imagine that Arya would want Sansa’s approval, having been so long without family and the lack of Jon at this moment. Speaking of, that is the only Stark reunion left we’ve yet to see, and I know it would be the best one yet. Sansa acknowledged it herself. I just really, really, really want to see Arya and Jon’s reunion. Please just give it to me, Thrones. Don’t deprive me any longer.

The subtle Jonerys nod in the scenes on Dragonstone, though. The knowing looks Missandei gives Dany, Davos teasing Jon, like dude, give it allll to me. I cannot even handle. This aside though, Dany’s persistence that Jon bends the knee is understandable but like, girl, just let him have the North. What would you even do with it?? You’ve both come so far to be here. But hey, I totally get where they are both coming from. It’s exactly the fact that Dany has come so far to be here that she demands complete loyalty from Jon. She has been betrayed before, so she is understandably wary. Asking her to lay off would be a little unrealistic of us and Thrones knows it.

ThE SEXUAL TENSION IN THAT CAVE THO!! THEY KEEP!! STARING!! AT EACH OTHER!!! I SEE Y’ALL!!!! JUST THERE!!! HOPING NO ONE NOTICES!!!!

That’s all I’m gonna say about it. I’m scared I’ll go on a long spiel that will make everyone lose interest in this post. If anyone ever feels like fangirling with me, just message me and I swear I can keep on going forever.

But hey, Dany made that nod to the theory I had last week. Mentioning the enemies as Tyrion’s family. It’s a bit harsh of her to put him on the spot like that, but wow, I love it when Dany loses her temper. It hints just enough that she isn’t as perfect as we hoped she would be. (To me she kinda still is, since the following scene of her actually riding Drogon to war just made me go !!!! inside)  

Now, for That Battle ™. Guys. I don’t have any words to say except that this is the first time in seven seasons we’ve seen a fully grown dragon in action. I had zero pity watching Lannister men burn. Cersei might have drawn first blood in this war, but goddamn Dany has gone for the kill. You can see that she has ridden all this way out to the Reach with blood on her mind. Tyrion watching, concerned, on the sidelines is a nice flip on the trope that women are always wringing their hands while men go to war.

Consider how significant this battle could be in the war: Jaime is either captured (again) or killed (highly unlikely), all of that Tyrell gold is gone in the flames, Dany now realizes how mortal her dragons actually are. This could easily be the best battle scene in the series, except I harbor a special fondness in my heart for Hardhome and the Battle of the Bastards.

Here I’ll add another section: what I think based on the preview of Episode 5. Varys telling Tyrion that they need a way to make Dany listen to them is feeding even more fuel to the fires of the Mad Queen Dany theory rampaging through Reddit lately. I’ve always loved Dany’s conviction and confidence and the strong need to exact vengeance, which has been with her since the finale of Season1, but what happens when these qualities turn against her and turn her into Cersei? Even Tyrion is starting to look concerned. If Tyrion betrays her, I think that will be her last straw.

(I really hope that doesn’t happen. I love Tyrion and he’s in my Top Five, but what will happen to him if he betrays Dany???)

Dany on Drogon, Drogon screeching at Jon?? NOT GOOD. I’LL START PRAYING RIGHT NOW FOR MY SON AND MY SOUL’S SURVIVAL. PLEASE GOD LET THINGS GO MY WAY FOR ONCE.

Right, I’ll leave you guys now with this. Season 7 just keeps getting better and better. Can you believe there are only 3 episodes left until we’re all back to the endless wait. The wait between seasons is the Long Night for Thrones fans, indeed. This episode was so insanely good that my mind is blown and now I need time to recover. For being the shortest episode this season, it gave me so many emotions than I know what to do with.

I’ll see y’all next Sunday for more emotional wrecking and suffering if I don’t end up in therapy before that. Thanks for going on this wild journey of screaming and screeching and crying with me :)

[dorianfiftyshadesof-gray]

Commentary: Game of Thrones 7x03

-7x03 guys! let's see if I get a broken heart again, shall we? -"Previously on Game of Thrones" *inhales* -Fuck you Thrones! gotta remind me of this little bean dying! -I'm Euron Babejoy's biggest stan. Love that extra cuck -The gentle hum of HBO followed the mighty intenseness of the GoT theme. Love it -Remember when the Bolton sigil was on Winterfell. sad reacts only -hOLY FUCK WE'RE STARTING WITH JON AND TYRION AND DAENY I CANNOT BREATHE! -Missandei is like an air hostess on QANTAS rn -if Davos dies this season, we riot! -Tyrion asking of Sansa. This is what I wanted! -Cheeky bants between everyone's favourite character™ and Jonny Snow -Naw mate, you're a Targaryen -I love Melisandre. She's had such a subtle arc -Varys is acting like such a salty bitch oml -hERE WE GO!! -they're looking at each other this is too much! -soooo many titles... -Daeny fake smiling highkey -He's your granddaddy too Jonny Snow, well great-grandaddy..i think -Daeny is so strong and powerful bless -”believe in yourself”: Daenerys “Rastafarian” Targaryen 2017 -Daeny trying so hard to get Jon to bend the knee with her speeches. Like the Night King is coming for that ass and he doesn't give a flying dragon about who you are and what you think you deserve. -i need Davos as my friend. I need this level of support -i knew they wouldn't get along. -oh shit. Jonny Snow is gonna get locked up -What did Varys say, count me curious -Hey there Celine Theon! lookin like Rose from Titanic -EURON!!! MY PIRATE DADDY YEEEESSSSSS! -"This is making me hard" oh Euron you horny piece of trash you -then again, Yara is my Salt Queen and no one treats my Salt Queen that way -lol "what a twat" true -What's up with all these peasants wasting food like no tomorrow?? -I bet Cersei still isn't going to marry him -Euron just keeps on throwing shade at Jaime every chance he gets -Haha knew it. You get no wifey, Euron -"Advice?" *gives confused look* "Does she like it gentle or rough?" *JAIME TRIGGERED* "The finger in the bum" *JAIME EXPERIENCES A TRIGGERING HE'S NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE* -Jaime blinks so intensely the 7 kingdoms almost became 8 -I actually feel empathy for Cersei right now. She really did love Myrcella. Her love for her children is really her only redeeming quality. and I also love how Game of Thrones emphasises how important a mother’s love for her children is, especially a mother’s love for her daughter. -oh shit what's Cersei gonna do -oh shit Cersei did that! -having to sit and watch your daughter die in front of you is pretty harsh, but i think pretty deserved -we gonna see some gold star incest now? -when you say no but she wants the succ -i'd definitely give Jaime the succ. He's sweet sugar daddy -this is like the first time we've seen Cersei and Jaime this intimate. like just looking into each other's eyes. still don't ship it but it's something to think about. -Oh hey there Mycroft acting exactly like Mycroft -Lena Headey is incredible at this whole acting shinding aye -if I had a shot of vodka every time Jon Snow was looking into the distance brooding, i'd be dead from fucked up livers -Jon confirmed top tier brooder by Tyrion -Philosophical chats w/ Tyrion Lannister -Tyrion puts everything into perspective -"Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?" me in exams -Lol named after her brother and his uncle -They're both so similar. Little stubborn babies -Let's see how SanSan is doing -Fuck off Baelish -Sansa is being such a wise Queen. I am very pleased with her progress -Once again, Fuck off Baelish -Sansa of the Sass™ -That's some okay advice, I'll give him that -ARE WE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER STARK REUNION!!!!??? -OH MY HEART -i'm crying. i'm gone! -Why is Bran looking calm af while mascara is dripping down my face -"I can't be the lord of Winterfell, I'm the three eyed raven." Bran sounds like he just got back from burning man. -Sansa is me about Bran's storyline like "!?!?!?!?!?" -Is he talking about her goddamn wedding to Ramsay (who i miss dearly partly cause i've recently rewatched Misfits and Iwan Rheon is such a gift) -Sansa getting a Vietnam flashback -Jorah the Explorer has healed pretty quick. He used to look like when you pull the cheese of your pizza and now looks all sexy and scarred. -Jorah the Explorer is an awful liar tbh -well Samwell is fucked -it seems as if everyone's paths have crossed again this season -Hell yeah Samwell! -Slughorn acting like a mum who's son did the wrong thing but was proud all the same -But the mum still doesn't reward the son -Daeny wants to get her dragons out *wink wink nudge nudge* -Please don't let Grey Worm die -Oh my god Tyrion you sewer legend! -*feels relief* Grey Worm didnt die -oml Grey Worm did the sexy taking off the helmet thing -Fucking Greyjoys! always here to crash someone's party -Jaime sure does look good on a horse. He's like the dude from the Old Spice ad! -Oh nice! Highgarden looks super beautiful! and it's probably going to be the last time we see it -"He really was a cunt, wasn't he" Olenna bless -has Jaime got some type of Stolkhome Sydrome? Jaime please listen to reason! -Olenna being all Oprah on Jaime's ass -NO! Olenna can't die! Please no! -Olenna just dropped the mic on Jaime like wtf! -So one of my faves is dead now. Thanks a lot dicks. Until next week

[jodiwalker]

The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones Right Now

If the current season of Game of Thrones is fan service, then consider me — a fan — serviced, and sign me up, baby. We've been through the hard stuff, we deserve this. This series has finally broken through the stratosphere of TV criticism and into the land of pure joy where Arya can be both a raging lil' sociopath and a beloved protagonist.

So this is neither a review nor a recap, a critique nor a thoughtful analysis influenced by my superior status as a "book-reader." Instead, it is the most advanced of all literary art forms: a list of I've been tickled by in the first two episodes of season 7. The best things happening on Game of Thrones right now definitively are:

Very Silly Reveals That Are Supposed to Change the Game (of Thrones) But Are Kind of Just Really Obvious Solutions

1. There's a Shit Ton of Dragon Glass at…Dragonstone

Of all the things I expected out of this season—reunions, rifts, Cersei dramatically guzzling wine, Arya masked-murderin', Dany sittin' on thrones, hopefully the glorious return of Gendry's biceps—I never anticipated quite this much focus on igneous rocks. Jon Stark's laser focus on digging up dragon glass is starting to sound like a Goop newsletter, and it's not that I wouldn't subscribe (imagine: the fur recs! the tips for sultry lashes! the straightforward syntax without any annoying exclamation points!), it's just all a little more plainly sated than I expected. Jon calls, like, eight Big Chamber Meetings to tell all the Northern elders, plus Lil' Lyanna Mormont that their number one priority is to find dragon glass because it's the only thing they can create weapons out of in mass to kill white walkers. Those meetings go a little something like this:

Jon: How are we gonna kill white walkers?!

Northerners: DRAGONGLASS!

Jon: And where are we gonna find it?!

Sam, from Oldtown: AT—AND YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS—DRAGONSTONE!

[Ed. note: I've edited out the regular interruptions from Sansa that give me extreme conflicting emotional anxiety, but we'll get to those later in the "So You're Co-Ruling with Your Half-Sister Who's Actually Your Cousin and She's Recently Developed a Mind of Her Own After Surviving Extreme Trauma" section.]

Sending Sam to Oldtown to train as a maester is like the coconut oil/Franks RedHot of Westeros: that shit works on everything. At the Citadel, Sam begins scooping soup, souping poop (in a scene I would have exchanged for an hour-long loop of gruesome murders), and most importantly, sneaking into the restricted section of the library like some sort of chubby lovechild between Voldemort and Harry Potter. He even gets shut down by Jim Broadbent (aka Archmaester Marwyn, absolutely killing the wise, gives-no-shits maester game) and sneaks in anyway. And what did Samwell find in the restricted section?

Well, Sam steals maybe five books and finds the exact answer he needs, plus one he didn't even know he should be looking for—more on that in a minute.

And you know what? That's kind of dumb and unrealistic, but Sam deserves this. He's had a tough life and his dad is a jerk that wanted to kill him and his brother is (well, used to be) the hot guy from Unreal, and everyone shits on him all the time even though he is legitimately the nicest person alive in their godforsaken, feces infested world — dude has earned finding the solution to saving mankind after exactly 10 minutes of cozy reading with his cute wildling life partner and their ageless baby.

So, Sam finds out (via a super lame picture that Jaime could have drawn with his strong hand) that there's a big ol' dragon glass mine at—you're not going to believe this—Dragonstone. All they've gotta do is dig it up. Well, and, y'know, get past Daenerys Targaryen, heir of Dragonstone who recently arrived on its sandy, glass-filled shores. And that other thing that Sam found?

2. The Cure for Greyscale is Just…Peeling Off the Greyscale

Well, no fucking shit, Sam.  I mean, listen, I know I was just singing the kid's praises, but it's pretty crazy to act like you just found the magical cure for Greyscale in your magical secret books when that cure is…peeling off the Greyscaled skin and then putting a bunch of medieval Neosporin on it. But whatever, it's really sweet that Sam wants to help Jorah Mormont so badly because of his affection for Lord Commander Mormont and is willing to flay him to save his life (and definitely give himself Greyscale with the way he's using those gloves). So go ahead, Sam, peel off that Greyscale in your secret Dr. Pimple sessions—your solution might be obvious, but at least it's not dumb, dumb, dumb…

3. The Dragon Feller That's Just…a Crossbow

So, John is concerned with defeating the white walkers because, y'know, strong moral fiber and a her survivor's guilt complex and all that. But Cersei is mainly concerned with defeating anyone who would try to take the Iron Throne from her that she didn't already blow up with magic fire. And that means she's got to look alive about the tiny blonde Targaryen heading her way who's bringing, along with her legitimate claim to the throne, her three big ass dragons that were, coincidentally, born from a magic fire.

It's going to take something big to defeat those dragons. Something magical. Something much more powerful than even wildfire. Something like…

A BIG ASS CROSSBOW, BABY! Yeah, that will be great for killing dragons — if the dragons are sitting still, 1,000 years old, and already dying peacefully of natural causes. It's okay, Qyburn. They can't all be skull-crushing Frankenzombies held together by Husky R' Us armor level ideas, buddy.

Arya and Her Whole Thing

I remember when How to Get Away With Murder premiered there were a bunch of think pieces that were all, Finally! A Female Anti-Hero for Us to Love Just Like All Those Dude Anti-Heroes We Loved on A&E and HBO! Of course, no one loved Viola Davis' anti-hero like they loved Walter White because people don’t like to love flawed women like they like to love flawed men (and the show's not as good, but Viola is). And so, when Arya gave the best revenge performance of all time at the top of the season 7 premiere, there were a bunch of (to be fair, legitimate) articles that were all Should We Really Be Rooting for Arya? Is Arya a Sociopath Now? Arya Sure Looked like She Wanted to Kill Ed Sheeran, an Innocent Soldier, Who We Will Tell You Later How WE'D Like to Kill, But for Different Totally Valid Reasons.

So let me just say, yes! Arya is a probably a semi-psychopathic now, and yes! We should be rooting for her. She is but a simple mercenary setting out to avenge the death of her loved ones using humble blood magic. Yes, she killed Walder Frey, and yes, she fed him to his sons, and yes she then skinned him and wore his face in order to poison all those sons who she had just fed a pie made out of their dad, but you know what she also did…spared the women who hadn’t done anything wrong except be born into that nasty family. And yes she maybe only spared them to have this bad ass parting line, delivered with just perfect level-headed menace by Maisy Williams: "When people ask you what happened here — tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."

But she is Arya and I love her, and I support her in anything she does…unless she kills any of the characters I like, in which case I will have to write some think pieces.

Sibling Dramzzz: Stark Edition

And speaking of Starks you have to keep your eye on, Sansa and Jon are having kind of a hard time co-parenting the North, and that's probably because people just loooove putting Jon in charge, even though Sansa should kind of technically be in charge, the only problem is, that Sansa's so annoying. Now, Sansa has made large strides toward being less annoying. But for every two steps forward (occasionally telling Lord Baelish to go fuck himself, knowing about war, not being a moralizing idealist), she interrupts Jon six times in their council meetings and tells him how stupid he is.

And listen, I get it — I have siblings. No one knows you better, and no one knows they know you better. When someone acts like they understand you better than you understand yourself, and worse, they're probably right, it can be trying. When Sansa tells Jon that he's going to get his head chopped off like his virtuous father and brother before him, she's not necessarily, but she is annoying. In a made-up world with dragons and child-sacrifice and, like, constant incest that's often not very relatable, I find this Jon and Sansa stuff frustratingly relevant.

The complexity of familial bonds is a language that spans universes (I mean, I guess that's ignoring the thing I just said about near-constant incest), so when Sansa says just the right bratty thing — "Joffrey never let anyone question his decisions, do you think he was a good king?" — to set Jon off, or when Jon and Sansa get on the same page about something, then he immediately changes his mind and announces it at the dinner table, so she questions his decision in front of all their gossipy cousins…it's normal family stuff, just at much higher, head-chopping stakes.

My great fear is that the tentative but often sweet partnership these two eldest "children" of Ned Stark have formed will somehow be ruined by Littlefinger. So boyyyyyy was it gratifying when Jon choked his old ass out when he was all I wanted to fuck your step-mom and now I want to fuck your half-sister, just thought I'd tell you that right here in front of your dead dad's crypt. And mannnnn was it concerning when Sansa backed down from publicly challenging Jon about his decision to leave the North and sale to Dragonstone the moment she learned he was leaving her in charge of the North in his absence, then immediately looked to Littlefinger for…what? Approval? Guidance? Shared joy? None are great options.

Just get though this Jon and Sansa  — I promise you’ll be best friends when you’re adults!

Sibling Dramzzz: Greyjoy Edition

Yo, this family is Messed! Up! Theon jumped off a ship rather than risk saving his sister Yara from their super-pirate uncle who's now taking Yara, Ellaria, and the last remaining Sand Snake, Tyene as his gift to Cersei which will totally make her want to marry him so he can be king, I guess, and not just of his raggedy salt islands.

It will never not be distracting how much Euron looks like Pacey though. If Pacey had a run-in with an H&M clearance rack and the entire smoky eye section of Sephora.

Sibling Dramzzz: Lannister Edition

And speaking of Cersei's current romantic status: Jaime is giving her a looooot of side-eye because she's, y'know, terrible. But she is doing a really fun thing this season where she's constantly recapping how much she hates everyone while subconsciously remaining us how much everyone hates her in return. While roaming around her Etsy map of Westeros, Cersei tells Jaime: "Enemies to the east. Enemies to the south: Ellaria Sand and her brood of bitches. Enemies to the west: Olenna, the old cunt, another traitor. Enemies to the North: Ned Stark's bastard has been named King of the North, and that murdering whore Sansa stands beside him. Enemies everywhere, we're surrounded by traitors!"

Girl, anymore zingers and maybe a concluding paragraph, and they'll give you a byline at Vulture. It is my one true hope that Jaime will realize his sister is insane and kill her before she kills him or Tyrion.

Everything Lil' Lyanna Mormont Does

I don't care if it's Disney-Channel-level precocious, I don't care if they're just giving us more of what we want…actually, I do care. Give me more of what I want! And what I want is the Lil'est Lady of Bear Island repeatedly telling a bunch of giant grizzled dudes to STFU. "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me," she says when it's proposed that girls should be trained to fight in the war to come. "I might be small and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you. And I don't need your permission to defend the North." Yes, my tiny queen! I don't know if they heard you in the back, but at this point in time, just about every major house in the realm is run by a woman And speaking of…

Jon and Dany Said Each Other's Names and Hopefully That Will All Be Fine

That's it, that's all I needed. Now they can either become best friends or fall in incestuous Targaryen love, there is no other option.

Images: HBO; BlondieTVJunkie/tumblr

[fenrirforever]

Episode 7 questions/thoughts

Just some lingering questions and brief comments. Spoilers for the episode of course :)

Why the hell did euron lovingly stroke the wight’s hair?

Did Jaime tell Brienne “and you’re loyal to Sansa and her dolt brother” or “dog brothers” or something else? If dolt? Hahaha.

Do Cersei and the Mountain have a psychic connection? How can he sense whether to kill people or not?

I am amazed Cersei didn’t have Tyrion killed. A-M-A-Z-E-D. She’s hated on him for so many seasons, she had a chance, she thinks he might be her prophesied killer, but she didn’t take it. That scene was about love, as crazy and dark as it can get.

Are D’s dragons both males? Does she have a dragon succession issue, too?

No ravens will be getting through to Winterfell soon, huh? That one winging its way there was struggling.

Sansa answering Littlefinger’s questions back with her own questions. I love her.

Theon channeling Rocky Balboa and I am here for it. Yo, Yara! (Is there any chance Theon could be the PTWP? The whole jump into the sea earlier this season while all the ships were burning--salt and smoke, and now he’s taking back his own. Hm.)

Nice transition from Theon’s scene of triumph right to Sansa wearing a hood on the battlements--the last time we saw her wearing her hood up there was when they jumped together :)

Lots of shots of Sansa’s hair from behind--the better to catch its resemblance to Lyanna’s later. How do these hairstyles get passed down? A Winterfell look book?

I loved the back and forth of Arya and Sansa’s lines about honor. It was almost like the opening words to a ritual.

That one soldier who turns to look at Littlefinger after Sansa’s “Lord Baelish” makes the best face. He’s a total audience stand-in. “The gig is up, my dude.”

Sansa’s sitting in Jon’s usual spot at the head table.

Looks like Littlefinger is wearing the same fur-lined jacket as when he brought Sansa to the Boltons. Very nice visual callback as it came up in the dialogue, too.

Arya is so fast with that blade, and none of the Stark kids looked away.

The mention of elephants made me think of oliphants and I can’t wait for the big battle to win Westeros!

Jamie looks so nice on horseback.

The score over the snow-in-the-south scene was beautiful.

Sam’s “Ooookay” smile in reaction to Bran’s “I remember everything.” Aw.

So Bran not knowing about the wedding is...odd. Does his power have to be directed like that to be fully useful?

They looked pretty in their sex scene, but amid a shot of the bed of blood and the voiceovers? Ergh.

Bran, my guy, you needed to tell him much earlier.

I liked that they used the crow sound while Arya and Sansa wrapped up the Littlefinger convo on the battlements. They always used that around him.

Oh Tormund and Beric, I hope you guys made it.

“And she’s his aunt.” I died.

[youremyonlyhope]

Valar Morghulis

Yay Season 2 finale!

So Tyrion stays back and fights... leads his men into battle... does a pretty decent job since he did the whole green fire thing and both sides were kind of even towards the end... but Tywin swoops in to save the day and rewards Tyrion by demoting him? That sucks. Ok literally, I’m very confused why Natalie Dormer (I can’t remember her character name currently) and her brother Flower Knight are there... Last time I checked... they were with Renly when he died... so how did they end up with Tywin... I need to reread some episode summaries after this since not watching the show for a year really made me forget everything. MARGAERY IS HER NAME. I was thinking Margaret but felt that was too normal. I knew that Margaery ended up with Joffrey at some point. I remember when the internet was laughing at his death, there were lots of memes of her being happy. Or something along those lines. Wait a second. During all of this “The Starks suck” “But I promised” “Cast Sansa aside” “Vows blah blah blah” I just realized... Sansa’s still there... the Hound didn’t run away with her... GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE? YOU SHOULD HAVE RUN AWAY WHEN THE HOUND OFFERED TO TAKE YOU WITH HIM. Sansa, my girl, I am disappointed in you for the first time since... I guess when you let Joffrey have one of the direwolves killed. WAIT A SECOND. I FORGOT ABOUT THE DIREWOLVES. ARE THERE ANY LEFT? BESIDES JON’S AND MAYBE ONE OF THE LITTLE BOYS’? Literally I was like Sansa can’t be upset he’s breaking the engagement. Then she laughed. My girl. I don’t like Baelish. “Your mother was like a sister to me” Yeah, the same way Cersei’s a sister to Jaime. I feel like I vaguely heard about Sansa marrying Baelish... but also I feel like I vaguely heard that she marries Tyrion too... hmmm.... Either way. Don’t like Baelish. Maybe he’ll help her get home. But he’s gonna do it in some messed up way. “We’re all liars here” See. He didn’t say “They’re” he said “we’re” so that includes him. Heeeeyyyy it’s my girl Ros! Still waiting on your backstory. Tell me everything. Heeeeeyyyyyy my girl Brienne! “What are you doing?” “Burying them.” My Brienne is literally the best and most honorable person in this entire universe. She gave 2 of them quick deaths. Once again. Most honorable person in this world. And she’s still gonna bury the girls?!? Oh. Ohhh. How I love Brienne. I nearly forgot that fire lady existed... but how could I forget the demon baby. Also, Stannis you deserve to feel guilt over killing Renly. Don’t let her convince you it wasn’t wrong. Theon... this reminds me that you’re like 15... you’re acting like a child. Ok Theon’s not running. ...I did not expect whats-his-face to knock him out mid-speech. OH HE DID NOT JUST STAB MAESTER LUWIN. I saw a post earlier today mention Podrick, which implies to me that he’s still around in Season 8, so good for him. Tyrion did a good job... why is he being punished.... Varys actually sounded sincere when telling Tyrion that they won’t forget that he was the reason the city survived. I feel like Tyrion does have a scar in more recent pictures of him... or maybe I’m just making that up... but if he does have that scar then cool! Now I know why. Robb’s really marrying her just like that, huh. Creepy Dude’s back to his creepy ways. Why does Arya want to kill the Hound again?... I love the Hound... at least so far. I literally can’t remember why she would want him dead.

Also... I just finished a row of the doily I’m crocheting right now, but it’s wrong... so now I gotta frog it and figure out what went wrong and where I miscounted.

...WHAT THE FUCK. HIS FACE. IT’S... HE... WHAT. I was just literally thinking “Awww... I’m gonna miss seeing Creepy Dude’s creepy face creeping around” specifically thinking of his face, AND IT CHANGED. IN THAT MOMENT IT CHANGED. I HAD TO REWIND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY. Creepy Dude is a Time Lord confirmed. Also, since he says “Jaqen is dead” that means he won’t use that name again, I assume the same way he won’t use that face, so I’m gonna keep just calling him Creepy Dude. In all that craziness, I forgot I had messed up my row of crocheting and got ready to pick it back up as I unpaused, but no. It’s still messed up. Still gotta frog it. DIREWOLVES! ...Maester Luwin was one of the best people in this universe... why... why did he have to die... I’m so sad... Yeah... that snow being inside is not creepy at all... OOOHHHHH.... oooohhhh.... oooooooooooooooooo.... the Iron Throne.... Soooo... is this a vision... a prophecy...? Of winter coming? No one’s said “Winter is Coming” in a while, I’m not even sure what number I’m up to in counting since it’s been a while. If someone says it, I’ll have to go back in a few posts to find the last one. I’d heard that Khal Drogo was in at least one episode of Season 2. Only because those articles about Emilia’s aneurisms included quotes about Jason Mamoa being around her onset when they got bad in Season 2. So, I was spoiled for this very recently. Ugh can Undead Dude just like... permanently die already? Those dragons are like “Don’t you mess with our mom!!!” Dany my girl, I am so glad you gave me an answer to my question. Finally. Permanently dead. (Watch him be back later though.) So... was Jon killing Qhorin part of the plan?... Sparing him from torture I guess? Or maybe, not letting the Wildings get the info he has? Or, dying by the hands of one of the Watch is more honorable I guess. “Burn the body. You don’t want this one coming back for you.” For a second I was like “Oh wow, he means he’ll let Jon be free eventually and go back to the Watch, so there should be no evidence that he murdered one of his own.” but then I was like “no Hope you idiot he means LITERALLY coming back as a white walker.” I forgot White Walkers existed for a minute. Kinda cruel, but Xaro is the epitome of the “I TRUSTED YOU” Tyra meme so... Also, I can’t remember if that vault is significant or not since it’s been so long... Yay my baby Sam! Haven’t seen him in a while. BABY. BABY RUN. DON’T STAND THERE FROZEN. RUN.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

It... looked at him. The Night King or whatever he’s called... looked at him. What? WHAT. WHAT!??!?! My jaw dropped when I saw the horse, and stayed dropped as it panned up and he stared at Sam, and then stayed dropped as it panned backwards. I had to close my mouth because my jaw was hurting, AND THE SHOT STILL HADN’T FINISHED PANNING TO ALL THE WALKERS. WHAT.

Well. I mean. That’s how you end a season. That’s how you do it.

I want to watch another episode... but I gotta work at 10:30am tomorrow and wake up by 9. Hmm... I did sleep in till noon today though... Eh, I’ve worked on less sleep. I’ll proofread this, then read the summaries of season 2 episodes since I was so lost for some things that I forgot from last year. And then watch episode 1. 

[sailtheplains]

I hope Dany asks jon about the getting stabbed that Davos mentioned. She seemed curious and not dismissive. 

I just want them to be friends. I really do. 

[saintcheesus]

PT.14

PT.1| PT.2| PT.3| PT.4| PT.5| PT.6| PT.7| PT.8| PT.9| PT.10| PT.11| PT.12| PT.13

When John kissed Sherlock goodbye, he immediately missed him. He took the taxi to his job and couldn’t stop thinking about him the whole ride. He looked so perfect wrapped in his housecoat, holding Rosie, kissing his cheek and wishing him a good day at work. It was all so domestic. He looked at the clock, one minute passed, he looked again. Three minutes passed. Clinics are never slow, it’s that some days people seem perfectly healthy, and then others, the whole of London is trying to get themselves examined. Today was one of the days where he was going to see more paperwork than patients, save for the moms who insisted that there was something wrong with their kid, or the usual patient that searched their symptoms online and are convinced they’re dying. Other than that, there was hours of him thinking about Sherlock and Rosie, wondering what the two were doing. Teletubbies was probably over now, he knew how much Sherlock hated that show. He smiled just thinking about the man’s face.

He missed him so much.

Maybe he could call them right now, his boss wouldn’t care, and it wasn’t like there were patients lining up to see him today. Was Sherlock’s phone even on? Was Rosie snapping pictures on it again by accident? He made one of those his lockscreen when Sherlock wasn’t looking. The picture showed Rosie’s wide eyes from the flash, and Sherlock moving to take the phone away. He was adorable.

His phone was vibrating and it was just the person he wanted to call. He heard Rosie screaming in the background. Sherlock must have been holding her.

“Sherlock, hey.”

“John, when was the last time Rosie…went?”

John’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s a bit cranky right now and her diaper’s been lacking a bit of…solid matter….”

John’s eyes widened and he said, “Oh. She’s not shitting.”

He laughed at Sherlock’s exasperation. “You put it so eloquently John. Yes, Rosie hasn’t shat.”

“Um, there should be a bit of castor oil in the bathroom. Give her a bit and see if that works.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Give her tummy a little massage, and feed her some mashed banana or something. But be patient, love, don’t need her exploding.”

“Yes, okay.” He sounded distracted, John heard some rustling and Sherlock trying to shush the baby. John pressed his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he resumed the paperwork. “She alright?”

“I think she’s having a bit of tummy pain. We’re in the bathroom now, I’ve just given her a sip of the oil. She didn’t eat much this morning.”

“Aw, poor thing.”

“Are you referring to me or the baby?” Sherlock deadpanned. John snorted. “Obviously the one who’s in pain, Sherlock.”

“I appreciate the sentiment then.” Sherlock laughed a bit and John heard some rustling.

“I think she wants to hear your voice. Let me just quiet her down for a second. Are you busy right now?”

“Never too busy for you, love.”

Sherlock didn’t respond, but John could hear him blush through the phone. He waited a bit before he heard Sherlock singing to the baby.

“You’re my honeybunch sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you’re my sweetie pie. You’re my cuppycake gumdrop snoogums boogums you’re…”

“The apple of my eye…” John finished. His cheeks were tinted red as he listened to Sherlock’s soft voice sooth the crying baby. Sherlock chuckled and kept singing, and John joined in with him, not caring how he looked to his boss or anyone that walked past his office. He knew this nursery song, and he missed the opportunity to sing with Sherlock last time.

In unison, the men sang, “And I love you so and I want you to know that I’ll always be right here, and I love to sing sweet songs to you because you are so dear…”

Rosie was silent now but he could hear her soft noises through the phone. John was sitting in his office grinning like an idiot. One day he’s just going to sing to Sherlock, with Sherlock, he didn’t know. He just wanted to hear the man sing again. Sherlock was talking to Rosie now, “Are we better now?”

John’s heart melted as he listened to the two, well, mainly Sherlock.

“I think she’s okay now, I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

“It’s fine, Sherlock. It’s all fine.”

John had a guess they were both smiling into the phone now. Sherlock coughed and said, “I’ll see you when you come back.”

“Mhm, sure will. Takeaway tonight? I was going to stop at the shops but Rosie’s not well…”

“Well the oil is not going to work for a few hours, and she seems calm now. I can try to get a bit of the shopping done if you would like. But still, order takeaway tonight.”

“You’re bossy.”

Another laugh. “Goodbye, John.”

“I love you, Sherlock.” It came out, but he’s been dying to say it again. Any chance he gets.

“I love you too, John.” He hung up and sank back in his chair.

“What a lucky, lucky man I am.” He sighed.

 --------

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[dingoes8myrp]

Mom and I React to Game of Thrones 7x02

Recap

Dorne

Me: "Ugh. These bitches."

Varys in Dorne

Mom: "Ugh."

Yuron

Mom: "What's the gift gonna be?!"

me: "Somebody's head."

Mom: "Probably."

-

Dragonstone

Lightning

Mom: "Can't see anything."

Me: "It's dark."

Daenerys starts questioning Varys

Me: "Welp, he's fucked."

Mom: "Quiet."

Me: "She decided she wanted him dead before she started talking to him."

Melisandre appears

Mom: "Shit."

Daenerys tells Tyrion to summon Jon Snow to bend the knee

Mom: "GOD, she's a bitch. Well, she has to be. Like a man."

Me: "Not really. I've never liked her."

Mom: "What?!"

Me: "Her chapters in the books are my least favorite."

That's right, I said it. I will die on this hill.

-

King's Landing

Cersei tells people what Daenerys did in Slaver's Bay

Mom: "She's making up stories!"

Me: "Um, that's true! That's all shit she did! WE. WATCHED. IT."

-

Oldtown

Archmaester tells Jorah he can't be helped and hints he has one more day to kill himself if he wants

Me: "Sam's like 'What the fuck?'"

-

Dragonstone

Olenna: "You're a dragon. Be a dragon."

Me: "Hmm. That's bad advice."

Messandei starts to storm off from Grey Worm

Mom: "Kiss her!"

Messandei disrobes

Mom: "Does he have a...?"

Me: "We're about to find out."

Mom: "SHE'S about to find out."

-

Oldtown

Archmaester tells Sam the greyscale cure is forbidden because it's too risky

Me: "Sam's like 'Sounds like just the job for me.'"

Mom: "Yup."

Sam: "You're not dying today, Ser Jorah."

Me: "NOT TODAY!"

Mom: "Oh, he's gonna remove it!!"

Me: "He's very cheerful about this very painful procedure he's about to perform."

Sam: "I'm going to have to remove the entire layer of infected tissue and then..."

Jorah: O.O

Me: "He's like 'fuuuuuck.'"

Sam starts in

Me: *gag*

-

En Route to King's Landing

Arya chats with Hot Pie

Me: "I feel like she should hang out with Yara."

Hot Pie: "The Boltons are dead."

Me: *flails*

Mom: "Ohhh! She's going to see Jon Snow!"

Me: "And Sansa! She doesn't even know about Sansa!"

-

Winterfell

Jon relays the two ravens from Sam and Tyrion

Me: "It's like he's doing the 'previousy on' for a soap opera."

Jon announces his plan to go to Dragonstone

Jon:(to Sansa) "Until I return, the North is yours."

Me: "Fuck. He's never coming back."

Baelish talks to Jon in the crypts

Me: *flips off the screen*

Mom: "Yup."

Baelish: "I love Sansa."

Me: "Jon's about to like murder him."

Jon: "Touch my sister and I'll kill you myself."

Me: "'You old perv.'"

Jon waves to Sansa as he leaves

Me: "He's never coming back. He's never going to make it back to Winterfell."

Mom: "Stop it!!"

Jon Snow is her favorite

-

En Route to Winterfell

Arya crouches by a fire

Mom: "Her wolf. Her wolf's gonna show up."

Mom: "Wolves!"

Me: "Many wolves."

Mom: "Hers is gonna show up!"

Sure enough

Arya: "Nymeria?"

Me: "She's like 'Bitch, you left me.'"

Arya tries to get the wolf to come with her

Me: "Nope. She's got her own pack now."

-

En Route to Dorne

Yara and Elleria flirt and Theon gets up

Me: "Theon's like 'Oh, Jesus.'"

Ship tilts sideways

Me: "ATTACK!"

Mom: "The uncle."

Yuron swings onto the ship

Me: "What a psycho."

Yara sees all the ships burning

Me: "'BULL. SHIT.'"

Two of the mini Elleria's bite it

Me: "They're all going."

Yuron: "Give your uncle a kiss."

Yara: *smack*

Me: "'Kay.'"

Yuron grabs Yara

Mom: "Theon, do something!"

Theon jumps off the ship

Mom: "What the fuck?!"

Me: "No, he's got something. He's gonna do something else. He couldn't win there. If he went for her the guy would've killed her or the eighteen dudes around him would've ganged up on him. He's just gotta regroup."

-

After the show

Me: "I'm so glad the Dorne girls are getting picked off. It's like watching that annoying group of snotty girls that make fun of you at lunch try to rule a kingdom."