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eddiesguitarskills · 1 year

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When We Were Young

part 2

Older Ex Eddie Munson x reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro: 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it's been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him. And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader. Panic attacks. Y/n used

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word count: 2.8k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn't want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. I’m dyslexic so if some bits don’t make sense I’m sorry. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part. Sorry it took me so long to write this

You were so anxious and aggregated you needed something to do with your hands. There were pots and pans ready to be loaded into the dishwasher. So instead you scrubbed them in the sink. You were rigorous with it making things shine that hadn’t in a while. You could hear mutters in the other room, but all you could hear was him. He had haunted your dreams for years and now he was here. You scrubbed and hummed hoping to block out any sounds. The noise felt worse than nails on a chalkboard.

He couldn’t believe were humming, as it all was merry. As if Eddie's world wasn’t crumbling right in front of him. He moved his eyes towards the kitchen glaring, starting to walk towards the room. Anger moved his body. Steve put a hand on his chest stopping him from “calm down”. Eddie shoves him off, getting closer to the man. “Calm down?!” There is a knock on the door, which is ignored by the men at the bottom of the stairs in a stare-down.

Eddie had barely managed to survive the upside down. Even with Hopper helping to legally clear his name. He was the same, life wasn't the same. He tried his best to appreciate everything that he had, new friends, his uncle, and you, but whenever he heard the mutter of the townsfolk, he sometimes wondered if it would have been better to be dead. He was struggling big time with PTSD but he didn't know that. And he definitely wasn't going to burden you with his problems. He felt so alone, that no one would understand what he was going through. Not that he gave anyone a chance to understand. You had noticed he was down so you suggested his favourite horror film. This made him snap, he shouted at you, “How dumb can you be! Why would I want to watch that!?”. Not bothering to explain why he didn't want to watch it. Not telling you he was scared that it would make the thoughts of Chrissy’s bones breaking worse.

There’s another knock. Nancy comes tumbling down the stairs “Steve aren’t you gonna get that?” Her eyes go wide upon seeing Eddie. Shit. No this could cause you to spiral, you were doing so good you didn’t need this setback. All three of them stood frozen, not sure what to do or say. The only sound now was the tapping of Munson’s foot, and your humming from the kitchen. Another knock.

The noise pulls you from your thoughts. After the fourth knock, you realise no one is getting it. You breathe in and straighten your back. Look forward don’t look at him. Keep a smile on your face. You walk over to the door ignoring the scene at the side of you. Everyone’s face turns to you. You open the door and try to ignore the burning stares in the back of your head. “Y/n!” Dustin runs into your arms pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you”. He murmurs into your chest. You rub his head “you too kid”. Max pushes him out of the way, “give her some air dude”.

“Sup y/n” she tries to act cool, but you notice the tears in her eyes. You don’t mention it, but you understand how she feels. So you pull her into a hug. “I missed you too” you whisper in her ear. You then pulled away and Lucas awkwardly side-hugged you, the smile on his face showing how much he's missed you. Even if his cool persona wouldn’t tell you so. Robin in typical Robin fashion was running late, probably busy with her ‘not’ girlfriend. It was obvious to everyone they were dating but they were trying to keep it lowkey.

Unfortunately, El, Mike, Will and Jonathan couldn't make it, something about family commitments. You wish they were here not just because you missed them but because the more people here the least likely you would have to talk to him. That him that you were still trying to avoid looking at, which was hard with his eyes burning into you. Dustin was also avoiding the dungeon master's eyes. He felt like he was to blame for the frosty atmosphere, maybe having something to do, like eating, would help. “Nanc when’s food ready? I’m starving”. The sound of the younger boy broke her trance, food, she had completely forgotten. God, she hoped it wasn’t burning. She wanted this night to be perfect, it seemed like fate had another ideas. “You all go and sit down, me and y/n will dish up”. You nodded and left for the kitchen with Nancy.

Eddie didn’t know what to do with himself, no one ever spoke about you so he just assumed you left everyone behind turns out it was just him. He couldn’t pinpoint one feeling for the way he felt, betrayed, angry, heartbroken, curious. The worst part of it all is you were still just as beautiful maybe more so. He hated you for that. He hated you for a lot of things.

You put on the oven gloves taking the casserole out of the oven minutes before it started to go from brown to black. However, maybe burnt food would distract Nancy from the interview she was about to conduct. “I didn’t know he was coming,” she says in hushed tones, you hum agreeing not wanting to get into it. You place the food down, glancing away from Nancy. You weren’t sure what your face looked like, but it probably seemed worried. You were trying to remember all the techniques you had learned to stop you from having a panic attack, counting, listing, and breathing techniques. You were currently counting how many ducks were on the oven gloves you were wearing. 1,2,3,4 “are you okay?” You nod, going back to counting 5, 6, 7. “Should I get him to leave?”. You shake your head.

“No,” you say unconvincingly, you knew everyone else was still friends with him, why should you get in the way of that? It was so long ago, you should probably get over it. Does he even remember what happened? You wonder if he ever regretted it. Should you hate him? You got so caught up in your thoughts that you completely lost count. You were trying to stop your thoughts and you’ve done the complete opposite. It’s okay you could just start again 1,2,3.

“I understand it’s hard seeing him if you wanna talk -“ she hesitates she wants you to feel like you can go to her because you can. But she knows it’s always been you and Steve against the world. She never really fit in. She wasn’t jealous of you, like that anyways. She knew Steve loved her and any feelings you two held were platonic. But she couldn’t help but feel a little left out from the bond you two had. Everyone here had a shared trauma, from their experience of the upside down. Some are worse than others. She could handle that, she knew what to say. How to help. But only you and Steve had experienced that night. She never heard the full story only that it had happened.

She wasn’t there in the aftermath, she wasn’t even there when you left. She wanted to help, she needed to help. She didn’t want to see you in pain ever again, but she felt useless. Steve seemed to be the only person you found comfort in with anything bad. Nancy only got to know happy you, she never got to see the other side. She loved you so much, she wanted to be let completely in. She wanted you to feel like you could come to her with anything and she would help. But there she was in the kitchen trying to show you she was here, she was ready to listen to be a shoulder and you were shutting her out again. She was glad you also couldn’t see her face so you didn’t see the defeated look. “Shall we plate up?” You nod.

You could hear a beeping sound in your ear, which might be the most annoying sound you could ever hear. It felt like it was piercing through your ear drums. You had to open you eyes to get rid of that awful sound. You tried but they felt heavy, you could feel the light seeping through but you couldn’t open them. The last thing you remember is the water starting to turn red. Had you actually done it, was this the end? Was this was the afterlife was? The beeping got louder again, god I must be in hell. Another noise came through over the bleeping.

“Y/n!”. You weren’t dead yet, you had so much you regretted. God Steve you didn’t want to leave him, you didn’t want to put him through this. He was the only thing you had left now. You just couldn’t cope. It was all too much, and the love of your life didn’t want you. But what about if Steve blamed himself? You needed to tell him it wasn’t his fault. Wait what if you regret it? Is it too late? Can you change your mind? All of a sudden you feel a squeeze of your hand. It was so warm, it felt like it was breaking the ice on your body that made it frozen. It was home. You had to get your eyes open, you used all your force, it hurt your head, but you could do it. You saw a blurred silhouette, all you could make out was a blur of brown hair. Omg was it, Eddie, did he save you? Did he still love you? The figure reached forward running a hand through your hair. “You had me worried there”. It wasn’t Eddie but it was your best friend.

Dinner was edible, maybe Steve was right Nancy had got better at cooking. God, she was perfect. You wish you could be more normal like her instead of the mess you were. No, you were doing good, you graduated from university, you have a new job, a new house. You had all of these amazing people who cared about you. You looked around the table and smiled. Until you saw your ex-boyfriend, it’s like the sight of him made you forget how far you’ve come. You were suddenly thrown back to four years ago.

You wish you were just thinking about the bad times, but looking at his face, (god why was he still hot) you couldn’t help but remember the good too. “So why are you back in town?” Eddie didn’t even try to sound nice when asking this. Okay, scratch that now you definitely weren’t thinking of the good times. Be nice y/n, and show him how good you’re doing. “I got scouted for a job at the school” he smirks “I wouldn’t go back there even if they paid me a million dollars”. You plaster a smile on your face, despite the anger that you were starting to feel. “What do you do then?”.

You were both all smiles but anyone in this room knew this wasn’t a friendly chat this was more like a western shootout, of who would win the breakup. “I didn’t sellout, I followed my dream, I own a rock bar” one point to Eddie. “I don’t remember the word bar in your dream. But it was so long ago I can’t remember much from then” point to you. “Yeah it was long ago, it’s like we were different people. We’ve grown up so much. I’ve even got a girlfriend now” this is a complete lie but the smile on your face threatening to fade was enough to show he had won another point. “god I wish I had time for things like dating I’ve been far too busy, getting a degree, but good for you that you have the time for things like that”. Point to you. “ you know I heard people who go to school to study theatre are the only ones who aren’t talented enough to get hired, but I’m sure that’s not true for you. I’m sure you’re just becoming a teacher because you’re good with kids”. Point to him.

Steve had watched enough of this, he had let you both have your little spat but now it was enough, it was going too far. “Who wants dessert?” The seat dragged out behind Eddie, “I’m gonna go for a smoke”. Dustin wanted to say something, he knew his friend was trying to quit, but he was already in the dog house. So he thought it was better to sit there quietly, letting him leave. You slump into your chair, trying to keep the smile up but it becomes harder as the minute pass. You could feel a lump in your throat either tears would soon follow, or you would be sick. “Maybe later, I’m just gonna go to the toilet” you avoid Steve’s eyes peering towards you trying to gauge how you are feeling. You weren’t the only one feeling sick, Steve was starting to worry. Hopefully, this didn’t set you over the edge.

You sink onto the tiled cold floor, leaning against the door not bothering to lock it, your breathing is harsh it’s becoming harder and harder to be calm. Counting helped before maybe you could do that again, this time with tiles. 1, 2,3, 4, 5 the door to the bathroom was pushed open. Sending you flying forward. “sorry I d- oh” Jesus the two of you couldn’t be away from each other for more than a few minutes. You were a magnet to your biggest heartbreak. That was such a cruel fate. You don’t even bother looking at him, you already have given yourself enough material to fill your thoughts for the next couple of months. Torturing yourself with his good looks, signature smirk and the image of what his girlfriend might look like.

He had been trying to get hold of you for a month since originally trying to apologise. At first, he was worried, but now he was annoyed, you didn’t get to abandon him like everyone else. He was gonna fix this. He knew the one person who would know where you were - Steve, which is why he was now here banging on his door. Steve answered, his posture was off, he had lost weight, and bags under his eyes, his nightmares were the worse they had been and now they weren’t just about the monsters. “Where is she?”. His words came out harsher than he meant to. His anger wasn’t meant for Steve but for you, maybe even himself.

Steve used all his energy in his next exchange, he stood up straight to slightly hovering over Eddie to show dominance. “Leave her alone, I mean it”. There was no way Steve would betray you. No one knew what happened and he was going to keep it that way. He was especially going to keep it from Eddie, whom he wish he didn’t but he blamed it on. Even if it wasn’t completely his fault.

Eddie felt like he was back in high school being looked down on by a jock. Which is why he reacted how he did next. “She’s my girlfriend, not yours” he spat. Hoping to prove this meant he knew you better than your best friend. But these were just words. Unfortunately know Eddie wouldn’t recognise the person you had became. Steve wanted to laugh but he was too weak for that. “You lost that title a while ago asshole” he shamed the door. Tears filled Eddie’s eyes, his hands shook. He was maybe the angriest he had ever felt, you couldn’t even break up with him in person. Those 2 years meant nothing.

“I thought you were going for a smoke” he stepped over you and started rummaging through the cabinet under the sink, in search of Steve’s stash he hides from Nancy. The silence is deafening. “What are you looking for?” He huffs, you can’t believe him. “Childish much”. He spots the red label of Marlboro behind a conditioner and pulls it out. He turns around and stares at you, his gaze makes you uncomfortable so you wrap your arms around yourself hoping to disappear. “You know I always imagined what it would feel like the next time I saw you, what I’d say? Would I still think you’re pretty?”. He looks you up and down, “turns out I didn’t have to worry. Because I look at you and feel nothing.” The words leaving his mouth left a bitter taste, but that’s what was needed to officially win the breakup.

After that, he left the bathroom. Not hearing your breathing becoming intense and a panic attack starting to begin. All he could think about was how he needed to get home. He couldn’t keep up this façade for much longer. Pretending to hate you when he still loved you despite the hurt. He need to go out before he did something stupid and apologised for what he said. Even if he did, what would that help, you didn’t care about him. Overwise you wouldn’t have left all those years ago and come back acting as if nothing had happened. The only solace he could have is he won. He hurt you like he’s been hurting for years. He would spend tonight, drowning in whiskey, tears and thoughts of you. Knowing you had already won the break-up the moment you left.

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