the thing about doctor/river is that the blatant romance is a defense mechanism. it’s playacting it’s how they sketch out the boundaries of their relationship because they can never be sure of how the scales of intimacy are balanced - they love each other, sure, but they are so rarely in a place where they both know enough about each other for mutual trust. so you get these really interesting juxtapositions like how eleven is in full flirty mode for impossible astronaut/day of the moon to the point where it feels like they’re about to make out every time they’re in the same frame but at the same time he dismisses her with “trust you? seriously?” and is shocked when she actually kisses him goodbye. in let’s kill hitler they flirt like hell when she is literally trying to murder him but not at all when they save each others’ lives. in the wedding of river song kovarian complains about them being lovey-dovey in front of her but right after that the doctor attempts to reset the timeline and river has to drag him kicking and screaming into respecting her enough to tell her the truth. in angels take manhattan we get both “just you wait till my husband gets home” (flaunting their relationship to grayle) and “never let him see the damage” (she doesn’t trust him to love her as a flawed, mortal person). they’re out of sync all the time, so sincerity is off the table except when it’s a necessary shortcut to trust that doesn’t exist yet - river whispering his name to him in the library when he doesn’t know her yet, their literal wedding being a tool the doctor uses to convince her to let him “die.”
the thing about “hide the damage” in particular is that river was responding to the doctor’s own fear of seeing the damage. she lied to him because she was trying to give him what he wanted, even if he couldn’t admit it. and it applies both to the broken wrist and to their relationship in general. every time he looks at her all he can see is the pain of her death, and she can see that he’s holding back even if she doesn’t exactly know why. this was always going to be a barrier to true intimacy between them unless they could be linear for long enough to know and see each other as they are, not as they’re going to be or as they were.
that’s why husbands of river song is such a perfect resolution for them. the only way river would ever be honest enough to let him see her insecurities is if she didn’t know who he was, so it had to be twelve and not eleven. and it specifically had to be twelve fresh from losing his memories of clara, so that he’d stop running away from confronting her death and just give them those 24 years together on darillium to really get to know each other, to see the ugliness and the imperfections and stay together anyway. it makes perfect sense that after that they could reach the level of love and trust river has for “her doctor” in the library, in a way that just isn’t possible with a relationship built on whirlwind dates done out of order and nothing else.
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DON’T HURT YOURSELF ✹ luke castellan
( summary ) social media au where your boyfriend became the asshole everyone warned you he’d be and now you’re looking for revenge (& luke is a down bad loser w no game)
( pairings ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite counsellor!reader
DIRECT MESSAGES
sarahdawson: hey girly ik we’re not like close or anything but something happened last night that i need to tell you about
sarahdawson: so i was getting strawberries yesterday and max was there and he was being really weird and like flirty and i’m so sorry i feel like such a horrible person even though i turned him down right away but he tried to kiss me and i hit him and then i went back to my cabin but i had to tell you
sarahdawson: i’m so sorry
yourusername: THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE I KNEW HE WASNT WORTH SHIT
yourusername: this is clarisse btw i took her phone
yourusername: (me again) thank you for telling me sarah it rlly means a lot 🫶
sarahdawson: if it makes any difference you’re way too hot for him and literally anything you need (even rigging archery lessons so the new kids take shots just as he’s walking by), i’m your girl x
♫ Don’t Hurt Yourself by Beyoncé feat. Jack White
♡ liked by silenabeauregard , connorstroll , and others
yourusername love god herself (love u mama) 💋
sarahdawson AHHH YOURE SO PRETTY
yourusername THANK YOU GORGEOUS 🥹🥹
clarisselarue too good for anyone 😮💨
silenabeauregard prettiest girl everrrr
chrisrodriguez pur girlie
yourusername what.
chrisrodriguez gods forbid a man expresses an ounce of girlish whimsy
yourusername nooo queen i appreciate you thank you
seaweedbrain you ate ‼️‼️‼️
seaweedbrain ate my dessert*
seaweedbrain it’s all fun and games until you end up stealing from the youth
seaweedbrain count your days miss counsellor
yourusername my girl sally should’ve kept you on a leash for a bit longer because you are rabid my love
seaweedbrain I WAS NEVER ON A LEASH WTF
racheledare STUNNA GIRL STUNNA GIRL I CHOOSE U BABY OVER A HUNDRED GIRLS
yourusername ME AND U 4EVERR 🙏🙏
lukecastellan nice dress!!
this comment was deleted.
clarisselarue lukecastellan i saw that.
lukecastellan why are you so ominous
clarisselarue why are you such a loser
lukecastellan have you ever been chill for a day in your life
clarisselarue have you ever known the loving touch of a woman
chrisrodriguez FOUL 😭😭😭
♫ Feather by Sabrina Carpenter
♡ liked by drewtanaka , pipermclean , and others
[ tagged: yourusername , clarisselarue , silenabeauregard , drewtanaka , hazellevesque , pipermclean ]
sarahdawson girls night w my favs 💘
silenabeauregard APOLLO CABIN 🔛🔝
yourusername FORREALLL
yourusername best night i’ve had in a long time i love u all sm ☹️🫶 ( liked by sarahdawson , clarisselarue , silenabeauregard , drewtanaka , hazellevesque , pipermclean )
silenabeauregard MY GIRLSSSSS
wisegirll prettiest girls in the world 💕💕
clarisselarue sarah girl love ya but maybe leave the singing to ur siblings 🙏
sarahdawson RUDE
yourusername sarahdawson dw baby i loved our duet xx
sarahdawson we simply are destiny’s child
drewtanaka yk who is shaking in his boots
seaweedbrain oh yeah cool i didn’t even want an invite it’s totally chill
yourusername calm down lil guy maybe when you’re older
clarisselarue if zeus doesn’t smite his ass before he gets the chance 😭
seaweedbrain clarisselarue I BEAT YOUR DADS ASS HES LITERALLY A DEADBEAT DADDY
wisegirll too far
seaweedbrain sorry clarisse
lukecastellan yourusername we could hear you singing all the way in hermes ☠️
yourusername NO THATS SO EMBARRASSING WHICH SONG
lukecastellan i think it was never lose me or smth
clarisselarue bros acting like he hasn’t been thinking ab it nonstop
yourusername lukecastellan i’m so sorry for any pain i’ve caused
chrisrodriguez AYY BRO MAKING MOVES
groverunderwood you call those moves? 😭
chrisrodriguez baby steps are still steps let me celebrate my guy in peace 😔
♫ Heartless by The Weeknd
♡ liked by connorstroll , and others
maxwalsh never been better
clarisselarue oh that’s not ☠️
lukecastellan this what you’ve been doing instead of coming to sparring?
maxwalsh it’s a better challenge
drewtanaka THE CLAWS ARE OUT MEOW
yourusername just posted to their story!
DIRECT MESSAGES
lukecastellan: you look really pretty
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