#dyn: alice x mary

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Mary: What's your type?

Alice: Dark hair and eyes, about 5'9, crazy jawline-

Mary: I mean your blood type.

Alice: Oh. Uh, red.

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Alice: If you think about it, surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Mary:

Mary: No it's not. Please never be a surgeon.

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Alice: Dads will see their kids and be like, "Is anyone gonna emotionally damage that?" and not wait for an answer.

Mary: Dads see their kids?

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Mary: [to Alice] You go girl!

Mary: Sorry, that came out wrong.

Mary: [pointing at Alice] You. Go, girl.

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Kate: Mary, keep an eye on Alice today. She's gonna say something to the wrong person and get herself punched.

Mary: Sure, i'd love to see Alice get punched!

Kate: Try again.

Mary: I will stop Alice from getting punched.

Kate: Correct.

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Mary: And you're here because?

Alice: Because I'm sexy and I don't need a license to be here. That's why.

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Alice: Come on, how many times do I have to apologize?

Mary: Once!

Alice:

Alice: No.

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Alice: Punch me in the face.

Mary: Punch you?

Alice: Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?

Mary: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

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Mary: How can you eat while there's a dead person lying here?!

Alice: What? Is it rude? Am I supposed to share?

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Mary: Feels like you’re being a little harsh.

Alice: Thanks. Good note. I was going for extremely harsh - I’ll turn it up.

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Mary: [to Alice] My door is always open if you ever want to talk about how you can get the hell away from my family

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Alice: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Mary: ..And?

Alice: You are.

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Mary: Yesterday I overheard Kate saying 'Are you sure this is a good idea?' and Alice replying 'Trust me'. I have never moved so quickly from one room to another in my life.

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Kate, taking about Alice: She is like an angel who fell from heaven...

Mary: Yeah, so was Lucifer.

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Kate: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitations, it’s supposed to say ‘Alice’s Birthday’.

Mary: What does it say instead?

Kate: ‘Alice’s Bi’.

Mary: That can still work.

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Mary: Alice is a psychopathic killer. I know it’s hard but you need to take her down.

Kate: But you don’t have all the facts.

Mary: Which are?

Kate: I love her.