#easy boat title loans

[usacartitleloans]

Usacartitleloans Locations - Missouri | Illinois | Wisconsin Title Loans

We have thousands of locations nationwide offering car title loans, boat title loans, and more. Visit us at www.usacartitleloans.com

[getcartitle]

Carbucks: Your Fast, Fair, and Confidential Title Loan Solution.

Carbucks is a car title loan and pawn company offering quick and easy loans to residents of Georgia and surrounding areas. With competitive rates, flexible terms, and a commitment to confidentiality, Carbucks is a trusted choice for those in need of financial assistance. They offer a variety of loan options, including car, motorcycle, boat, and commercial vehicle title loans.

To know more visit https://www.getcartitleloans.com/.

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Can I Bankrupt Car Title Loans?

Can I Bankrupt Car Title Loans?

All loans come with risks if they’re not repaid on time. However, a car title loan carries an especially troubling consequence if you fail to meet your payment obligations: The lender can take your vehicle. Before you consider getting a title loan, consider the potential potholes you’ll hit if you use your vehicle as collateral to borrow money.

A car title loan is a short-term loan that lets you secure a small amount of money in exchange for giving the lender the title to your vehicle. You’ll also pay a sizable fee to borrow the money. A car title loan is a short-term loan secured by your car. You can typically only get a title loan if you own the car free and clear. You’ll have to take in your title and a copy of your key and leave it as security. You’ll also have to pay certain fees. Then the lender will give you cash and you’ll have a set period of time, usually 30 days, to repay it. If you can’t pay after 30 days, your lender will give you the option of rolling over your loan for a fee so that you have another 30 days to pay. If you default on the loan, and the lender has correctly perfected their security interest, the title lender can repossess your vehicle. You’ll be liable for the repossession fees, too.

Let’s say you own a car worth $10,000, and you find yourself in an emergency situation that requires $5,000. A title loan lets you borrow against your vehicle, so you can get that $5,000 quickly. Just as a mortgage is backed by your home, a title loan uses your vehicle as collateral.

One of the main pieces of information that people need to understand about a title loan is that it uses the equity in your vehicle for collateralizing the money you will borrow. In most cases, you need to own your vehicle outright to qualify for a car title loan. The term car may be in the product name, but these loans also can be available for motorcycles, boats and recreational vehicles. While some lenders will offer loans if a car is still being paid off, most require the owner to hold the title with no debts attached to the vehicle. Consumers typically can borrow between 25 and 50 percent of the car’s value.

How Do Title Loans Work?

Car title loans come in a couple different varieties. Some are single-payment loans, meaning the borrower have to pay the full amount of the loan plus the interest rate fee within a month or so. Installment loans, with similarly high APRs, can be paid back over three or six months, depending on the lender. When applying for a car title loan, prepare to show the lender a clear title, proof of insurance and a photo ID. Some lenders ask for a second set of keys. While getting a title loan may be easy, the convenience comes with serious costs and risks. Some car title lenders install a GPS device that can prevent the borrower’s car from starting, using this practice as a means of collecting a debt or making it easier to seize the car. In addition to being (the) primary means of transportation to work, the doctor and elsewhere, a car is often the largest financial asset that a person has. The looming threat of losing your car is anxiety-inducing to put it mildly.

Downsides to Title Loans

The biggest downsides to title loans are a short repayment period, sky-high interest rates and the potential loss of your car if you default. These are usually short-term loans with very tight repayment cycles. If you can’t pay back the loan when it’s due, it’s rolled over into another cycle with more fees. It creates a very difficult situation for people who are already struggling to repay. It is the exact definition of the cycle of debt.

In addition to tight repayment deadlines, car title loans have overwhelmingly high interest rates. Lenders often charge 25 percent each month in financing charges. On a $2,000 loan, you’ll pay an additional $500 in interest if the loan is repaid in 30 days. If you’re late with your payment and those interest charges pile up, the loan can wind up costing a lot more than the initial sticker price. The biggest downside, though, is possibly losing your car. If you can’t pay it back, the lender can take your vehicle.

Alternatives To Title Loans

With such serious downsides, reaching out to traditional banks and credit unions to explore other, less costly lending options. A lot of people might avoid traditional lenders because of assumptions about their credit and that’s the most dangerous thing you can do. You’re cheating yourself out of money you could potentially save. Even if you don’t have a bank account, have a lower credit score or have struggled with poor financial decisions in the past, it’s worth investigating all your loan alternatives. It’s interesting how flexible these traditional lenders can be. There are a lot of credit unions that are willing to work with unbanked customers. If you have unused credit on a credit card, you could rely on it to help cover your cost. In most cases, the interest rate on your credit card is going to be much less than what you end up with on a car title loan. And that route prevents you from potentially losing your vehicle. To get a car title loan, you need to own your car or have equity in it.

A car title loan is a small secured loan that uses your car as collateral. Car title loans tend to range from $100 to $5,500 an amount typically equal to 25% to 50% of the car’s value. The loan term is short usually just 15 or 30 days. And although it’s called a “car” title loan, this type of loan also applies to other vehicles, including trucks and motorcycles. To get a car title loan, you’ll need clear title 100% ownership of the car, without any liens or at least some equity in your vehicle. Car title loans are also called pink-slip loans, title pledges or title pawns. In addition to your car title, the lender will typically want to see your car, a photo ID and proof of insurance. If you get approved for a car title loan, you give your car title to the lender in exchange for the loan. You get your title back once you pay off the loan.

Car title loans have high fees and interest rates

With a car title loan, it’s not uncommon for lenders to charge around 25% of the loan amount per month to finance the loan. For example, if you get a 30-day car title loan for $5,000 and the fee is 25% ($1250), you’d have to pay $6,250, plus any additional fees, to pay off your loan at the end of the month. This translates into an annual percentage rate, or APR, of more than 300%. That’s much higher than many other forms of credit, including credit cards. When you get a car title loan, the lender must tell you the APR and total cost of the loan. You can compare this information across other lenders to help find the best offer possible for you.

If you can’t repay a car title loan, you could lose your car

If you get a car title loan and you can’t repay the amount you borrowed, along with all of the fees, the lender might let you roll over the loan into a new one. When you do this, you add even more fees and interest onto the amount you’re rolling over.

Let’s say you have a $500 loan with a $125 fee. At the end of the 30-day term, you are unable to pay it all back. You pay the $125 fee and roll over the $500 balance into a new loan with a 25% fee. If you pay your new loan off, you’ll have paid a total of $250 in fees on the $500 you borrowed. If you continue to roll over your loan, you could end up in a cycle of additional fees that make it impossible to repay the lender. If you find yourself in a situation where you can’t pay off the debt, the lender could repossess your car. And you could end up paying even more in fees to get the vehicle back, along with the past-due amount. Assuming you can’t pull that together, you’ll be left scrambling to find (and pay for) new means of transportation.

Chapter 7 Bankruptcy and Car Title Loans

In Chapter 7 bankruptcy, you’ll surrender your non-exempt assets to the bankruptcy trustee. In California, you can choose between two different sets of exemptions. Remember that exemptions only apply to the equity you hold in an asset and are used to determine whether or not the trustee can sell the asset. They do not affect secured debts. The trustee will sell your nonexempt assets and pay the proceeds to your unsecured creditors. At the end of the process, your remaining unsecured debt will be discharged. However, a title loan is a secured debt.

Under Chapter 7, you have the option to redeem a secured debt. That’s the only way to keep your car through the bankruptcy. To redeem title loan debt, you’ll have to pay the market value of the car in one lump sum. For example, say your car is worth $10,000 but you owe $15,000 to the title lending company. You can pay $10,000 in bankruptcy and the rest of the debt will be discharged. However, it’s difficult for most debtors to put together enough cash to redeem the debt. There are, however, companies that specialize in funding redemptions, and your attorney can discuss these with you. You may instead choose to reaffirm your debt. When you reaffirm a debt, you agree to continue to be bound by that debt throughout and after your bankruptcy. You’ll continue to make your regular monthly payments on that debt until you’ve paid it off. However, a reaffirmed debt cannot be discharged in a future bankruptcy. If you reaffirm, you’re stuck with that debt until you pay it. If you can’t redeem the debt, consider selling the car before you file for bankruptcy and using the proceeds to repay the title loan debt. If your car isn’t worth enough to sell, you can surrender it to the title loan company. Either way, you’ll lose your car. Without bankruptcy, the title lending company would be able to sue you for the deficiency between what you owed and what they got for the car at auction. After your bankruptcy discharge, you won’t be liable for any deficiency. If you receive your bankruptcy discharge without addressing your title loan debt, the lender will repossess your car as soon as your bankruptcy ends. If they sell it and the proceeds are less than your debt, you’ll be liable for the deficiency.

Chapter 13 Bankruptcy and Car Title Loans

Under Chapter 13, you have more flexibility to deal with a car title loan. When you file for Chapter 13 bankruptcy, you work with the bankruptcy trustee and the court to come up with a payment plan that lasts for three to five years. You can deal with the title loan through your payment plan. As under Chapter 7, you can keep your car if you pay its market value. Chapter 13 allows you to spread that payment out over the life of your plan rather than paying it all at once. You’re much more likely to be able to keep your car under Chapter 13 than Chapter 7.

How can I keep my car without filing bankruptcy?

The best way to make sure you keep your car is to avoid car title lending. You need your car to get to work, take your kids to the doctor, and pick up groceries. Title lending is intended to trap you and force you deeper and deeper into debt. It’s just like payday lending, but much less carefully regulated by law. Because title loans are secured loans, they are not discharged in bankruptcy. Don’t use a credit card or other form of unsecured debt to pay off your title loan in an attempt to convert your secured debt to unsecured debt. The bankruptcy trustee may examine all of your recent financial transactions. The trustee can void the payment as fraudulent and in bad faith because you knew you were never going to repay the new credit card debt. Trustees can claw back any payments greater than $600 to your creditors made in the 90 days before you file for bankruptcy. Moreover, the court may dismiss your case entirely if you’re found to have filed in bad faith, leaving you at the mercy of your creditors.

Bankruptcy Exemptions

The bankruptcy court allows those filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy a certain amount of money, called an exemption, for a car (as well as a house and other belongings). The federal exemption is $4,000 and it’s updated every three years. But 31 states have their own exemptions that those filing bankruptcy have to go by. Some are lower than the federal exemption and some are higher. If a car’s value is less than the exemption, you can keep it under Chapter 7 bankruptcy. If it is higher, the bankruptcy trustee may decide to sell the car to help pay your unsecured debt. You would keep the amount of the exemption, with the rest going towards debt.

As an example, let’s say your state exemption is $10,000, and your car is worth $9,000. You can keep your car, because the exemption is higher.

But, if your car is worth $15,000, the bankruptcy trustee might sell it and you get $10,000 for another car, and what was left of the $5,000 balance, after fees, would go toward unsecured debt. To boost the exemption amount, you can also use the wildcard exemption, an extra exemption that those filing bankruptcy can use for things not covered by specific exemptions. The federal wildcard exemption is $12,575. Often the wildcard is enough that when it’s added to the car exemption, it can cover the value of a car that wouldn’t otherwise be exempt. When filing for bankruptcy, you list property that is legally exempt on Schedule C. Schedule C is the list of legally exempt property that you can keep under Chapter 7 bankruptcy. The property may also be listed in A/B, under assets. Be sure it’s described the same way and it’s clear it’s the same property If this process sounds complicated, it’s because it is. You may want to consult a bankruptcy attorney to help you sort out the ins and outs of exemptions and keeping your car, as well as dealing with the rest of the bankruptcy filing.

Filing Bankruptcy When You Don’t Own the Car

If you are still making payments on your car loan when you file for bankruptcy, then the equity you have in the car becomes important. Equity is what you still owe on the car subtracted from its current value. For instance, say your car’s value is $9,000 and you still owe $4,000 that means you have $5,000 equity if you sold the car, you’d make $5,000. The exemption in your state is $6,000. Since your equity is less than the state’s exemption, you keep the car. If it’s more, the bankruptcy trustee can sell it, putting the equity toward your unsecured debt and allowing you to buy a $6,000 car. The longer you’ve owned the car and the more you’ve paid, the more likely it will be over the exemption limit. On the other hand, cars are not like fine wine they lose their value fast. The longer you’ve had it, the less its worth.

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[maritimedocumentation]

Our US Coast Guard Abstract of Title Service Helps You

Do you have your eye on that boat you saw down at the marina with the “For Sale” sign on it? Maybe you saw one listed on a local community website or online elsewhere and it seems to be just what you have been looking for. Deciding you want to buy a boat can be a big decision. Many large vessels cost as much as a new car or even a house, and before you get ready to put down any money on a boat, you want to be sure it is precisely what you want. Before you spend time negotiating a sale, do some research first regarding the boat. You should get a US Coast Guard abstract of title from us at Maritime Documentation Center so that you can learn as much as you can about the ship you like.

Why Get a Coast Guard Abstract of Title?

You may wonder just what you will gain by getting an abstract for yourself. The Coast Guard is responsible for maintaining a database that contains information about every boat that is documented. While documentation of recreational vessels is not mandatory, many ships get it anyway because they either want it or are required to as part of the loan agreement they have. By getting an abstract, you can receive background information regarding a documented vessel. The abstract can give you ownership information, the year the vessel was built, what type of engine it has, when it was last documented, and much more.

How to Get an Abstract

Obtaining a US Coast Guard abstract of title does not need to be difficult. You can come right to us at the Maritime Documentation Center, and we have an easy link to the application that you need to fill out. Put in the information you have regarding the ship you have interest in, along with your information and payment, and send the form to us electronically. We will check the application for you to make sure it is accurate before it gets to the Coast Guard. That way, you never have to worry about the form being sent back to you due to tiny errors or something similar. Our professional document processors are here to help.

Following Your Documentation Search

After you have received your Coast Guard abstract of title, you may decide to go through with your purchase and get the boat you want. Here at the Maritime Documentation Center, we can provide you with all the help you need. We give online access to all the appropriate Coast Guard forms so you can fill out what you need online and send it right to us. We make sure everything gets to the Coast Guard correctly, so there are no delays in processing so that you can get your documentation. That’s just one of the many forms that we can help you to obtain. At our site, you’ll find all of the different vessel documentation forms that you may need. If you need further information or help, don’t hesitate to contact us at (800) 535-8570.

[miamiboatandautopawn]

Miamiboatandautopawn.com offers boat title loans in Florida. Get the cash you need to cover unexpected expenses with a quick and easy boat title loan. Check out our site for more details.

Boat Title Loan Florida

[vesseldocumentationservice]

Why Documented Vessel Ownership is Important

As an owner of a vessel in the United States, you know that it is essential to maintain documented vessel ownership. But what gives with that? It is hard for the Coast Guard to adequately monitor the thousands of ships that go through the United States waterways because of the nation’s size.

As a result, the Coast Guard depends on the owners of vessels to maintain their records of ownership and movement, which are subsequently notified to the Coast Guard if it becomes essential to do so. This is a method that benefits everyone involved.

The owners of boats are aware that they can be apprehended and penalized if they move without reporting it, and the Coast Guard can occasionally utilize this information to seek out unlawful activity or vessels that have gone missing. The ownership of a recorded vessel is crucial for several reasons, which are discussed below.

It Protects Your Investment Owning a documented yacht is essential for the safety of your investment. Having a boat is a fun hobby, but buying one is a big financial commitment. You may rest easy knowing that in the case of theft or damage to your boat, federal law will protect your investment if you choose to purchase a documented watercraft and safeguard your ownership via appropriate registration and titling.

If your boat becomes stolen or lost, you may need the proper paperwork to get it back. In addition to lowering the interest rate you pay on loan to purchase or improve your boat, documentation also lets you insure your vessel with the insurance companies favored by your lender.

The hull, engine, and safety equipment on your boat must pass a comprehensive examination as part of the paperwork procedure to ensure they are seaworthy and legal. When weighed against the price of a new ship, the expense of documentation is negligible, but the protections it offers are priceless.

A Documented Vessel Ownership Proves Legal Ownership In Case Of a Dispute This may be of paramount importance if you have a legal disagreement with another party about ownership or use. In many cases, a  ship with proper paperwork is much more advantageous than one without.

The registration and documentation of your ship will be helpful in a lawsuit involving your boat. Having proof of purchase or payment for services rendered or evidence of ownership on file might be beneficial in a boat ownership dispute.

Establishing ownership and legal rights to the vessel with proper documents might be easy. Specific forms of disagreements may be avoided entirely with the aid of appropriate documentation. You may use it to prevent unauthorized persons from improving your boat or taking it out on the water without your permission. Proof of ownership alerts others to the fact that the ship is your property and eliminates any doubt about who is authorized to operate the boat.

You Can Get Discounts on Maritime Services and Products Discounts on marine goods and services would have to be first on the list. Although it may seem like something only the affluent and famous can afford, you can genuinely take advantage of this service. Businesses in the marine industry are more likely to conduct business with you if your ship is registered.

For instance, if your engine fails and you take it to a different shop to fix it, they may be willing to cut you a deal as they expect to see repeat business from your vessel. Go this route instead of getting an engine repaired and taking it elsewhere. You’ll save money not only in comparison to buying certain materials and doing the labor yourself but also to what someone without any connection to a maritime business would pay for the same engine repair!

You’re Exempt from Certain Taxes Having your ship officially registered allows you to avoid paying some taxes. While several exemptions may be available, owners of documented vessel ownership might benefit most from the depreciation deduction and the vessel excise tax.

You may reduce your taxable income by taking advantage of the depreciation deduction. But, it lets you exclude an annual amount from your taxable income to compensate for the depreciation of your boat. Anytime you acquire a new or pre-owned boat, you won’t have to pay any additional fees on top of the advertised price because of the vessel excise tax, a form of sales tax on big boats.

Take advantage of these privileges by registering your yacht with the US Coast Guard. When a boat goes through this procedure, it receives a unique identification number that proves to the government that the owner is entitled to lawful possession of the ship. All applications for state registration must include copies of documents provided by the Coast Guard.

It would help if you talked to Vessel Documentation Online, LLC, to take advantage of these benefits. Our team will work with you through every step of the process to make it as easy as possible. We’ll handle all the paperwork and provide support throughout the process, so you never feel overwhelmed. Contact us today at 1-(866)-981-8783 and let our experience in this field help you achieve your goals!

[usvesseldocumentation]

Tips For Obtaining A Good Vessel Abstract Of Title

As a legal record, the vessel abstract of title details the vessel’s history of ownership beginning with its construction. It’s a safeguard for you, the owner if a disagreement occurs with a potential buyer or lender. A well-functioning one is essential if you sell your boat, so keep it in good shape. Boat owners must always keep an eye on their vessels. They have to ensure the ships are in excellent working order and equipped to deal with any dangers that may be encountered, in addition to worrying about the safety and security of their passengers.

No matter how competent the skipper is, the owner of a boat can’t avoid danger just by having one. Several hazards might cause damage to a ship, so owners need to keep an eye out for any problems. The abstract of the title for the vessel is the first place to look. Advice is provided below on securing a high-quality abstract of title for your ship.

Make Sure You Know What Type of Vessel You Need To get the proper abstract of the title, you must first choose the sort of vessel you’ll be using. Whether a dock or pier is designed for sailboats or powerboats is a detail often overlooked by boat owners. A sailboat owner seeking an abstract of the title must call a different number, wait for another person to answer the phone at the U.S. Vessel Documentation Center, and ask specific questions to get the relevant data.

In places where this must be done in person, having everything you need on hand will ensure a quick and easy process. The most important thing to do before beginning the process of obtaining an abstract of title for a vessel is to determine what kind of title is required. A bill of sale, rather than a title issued by the state, is used to transfer ownership of a vessel when it was acquired from a third party (such as a gift).

Consider Your Budget Although still an essential element of the home-buying process, abstracts of title are far less prevalent now that digital land records are the norm. Buyers interested in purchasing homes from a private party or a corporation may find this information helpful. Getting a vessel abstract of title is crucial if you want to acquire property from a prior owner but are concerned about any unpaid debts attached to the residence.

Get your desired vessel’s abstract of title only after you’ve saved up enough money to cover all closing charges. In addition, making a financial plan helps you determine how much time and money you are prepared to invest in this endeavour. When you’ve finished your homework and know how much money you have available or are prepared to pay, you can begin your search for a car abstract company.

Shop Around For the Best Deal on the Vessel Abstract Of Title In search of the best boat possible? A comprehensive vessel abstract of title should include all of the ship’s legitimate owners. If you want a loan to buy your dream boat, you’ll need a document called an “abstract of title” for a vessel. An excellent one will detail the boat’s history from its first owner to the present day. That way, you know the yacht is free of any loans or obligations that it’s responsible for paying.

Your ability to get financing is contingent upon removing any liens that appear on the title. A valid vessel abstract of title is essential, but frequent specific errors might delay the process. This may sound simple, but it’s easy to forget in the excitement of bidding on boats. Compare prices for your vessel abstract of title from several services before making a final decision.

Read Reviews Online Before Making a Purchase It’s tempting to get carried away while buying a boat, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. Check to see whether you’re receiving a fair price before parting with any cash. An abstract title for a boat details.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter One

Chapter One: The Other Wilson Sister - chapter two

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n grew up with Sam and Sarah Wilson in the bayou of Delacroix. During the Blip she stayed with Sarah to help run the family business. With Sam back and trying to save the day, Y/n’s perfect opportunity to confess her long-kept secret to her best friend presents itself.

Warnings: tfatws ep.1 spoilers, language, suicide mention, undertones of racism, lots of Wilson sibling arguments, tragic backstory

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: As I wrote this first chapter out I realized it’s most definitely also a Sam Wilson x platonic fic. Bucky doesn’t come in till next chapter but rest assured, it’s gonna be a wild ride...Also I didn’t know till now how difficult it is to plan out a series in its entirety when the show isn’t completed lol. Hope you enjoy! (I may or may not change the title depending on how I feel about it later today lol)

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Delacroix, LA 2024

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One of the only things I was certain of in life was that blood didn’t make a family.

I had no official tie to Wilson family, I wasn’t a daughter or some distant cousin sent to live with them. We shared no DNA and they had no reason to love me as much as they did. But throughout my life I had known no kinder people than them and I doubted that would change. As I stood on the family boat helping to unload the catch of the day, I thought of how our corner of the Louisiana bayou felt more like home than any place I’d ever been.

“Hey,” Sarah said from the dock, “Head out of the clouds and down here helping me.” “Sorry,” I shook myself out of my thoughts and hopped off the boat, “Not a bad catch if you ask me.”

Sarah sighed as she bent over a large bucket of fish, “It could’ve been better.” I came to stand in front of her and held my hands out for a bucket, “Take the wins where you can get ‘em, Sar. Lord knows we don’t get enough of them.” Sarah Wilson was the only superhero I’d ever aspire to be like. She was a widow who had raised two kids and run a business all by herself with no family for support. The past five years had been challenging with so many people gone and while I had moved in with her to help however I could, I could take no credit. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known.

“You had that look on your face again,” she said as we worked.

“What look?”

“That look that lets me know you were thinking real hard about something,” Sarah imitated the expression in question by thinning her eyes slightly and furrowing her brows, “Like this.” I laughed heartily at her impression, “So what was it?” I gazed out at the bayou waters before turning to the boat and finally Sarah, “Family.”

She nudged me with her hip, something we’d done when we were young and an affectionate gesture we’d carried into adulthood. A half hour went by with us and the boys unloading and sorting the fish we’d caught. I was too wrapped up in the task to notice the sound of a vehicle approaching until AJ and Cass announced the arrival. 

“Blue for the snapper, orange for the whitefish.”

“Uncle Sam!”

My head shot up upon hearing his name, as did Sarah’s. I used my hand as a visor against to sun to spot the familiar rusted truck parked a few hundred feet away, with my best friend standing outside it hugging his nephews.

“That’s right, Uncle Sam,” Sarah called, “You’re back early.”

I grinned as I shucked my gloves off and made a beeline for him, slamming my body into his for a tight embrace. It had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, having spent the only weekend he was off away, and I’d naturally been worried sick about him. My best friend and un-biological brother may have been an Avenger for years, but after losing him in the Blip I didn’t think I’d ever stop worrying about him.

“Every time I come home, you act like I’ve been gone for five years,” he joked over my shoulder, resulting in me pulling away and slapping his bicep.

“Not even a little funny,” I pointed a finger in his smug face, he slung an arm around my neck as we walked over to Sarah.

“What’s goin’ on? You got Mom’s sneaky look on your face.” “How you gonna try to read me when you know I’m the one that reads you?” Sam smiled, passing by and greeting a long time customer of ours. “That look is permanently glued to his face, Sar,” I chuckled, “I learned that in grade school.” Sam shook his head at me and laughed before making his way up the dock to the Wilson family boat. “You gotta marvel at it, baby’s being held together by duct tape and prayers.” I leaned into Sarah, “Are you telling him or am I?” She took the initiative, “It just needs to float long enough for me to sell it.” “I thought we were gonna discuss if we were selling it,” Sam replied as he helped unload another bucket of fish. “We did, and then you were off fighting Doctor Space Cape or whatever while we,” Sarah gestured between us, “Were holdin’ it together for five long years. Now that the world is going back to normal, this thing’s gotta go.”

Sam looked to me with a look of displeasure, “Were you in on this?” “Don’t drag me into this,” I waved my hands as if wiping my involvement away, “This is a Wilson sibling discussion.” “Uh-uh,” Sam called me out, wagging his finger, “Don’t do that. Dad said every chance he got that you were one of his own, you’ve got a say in this too. What is it?” I scrunched my face up, dreading the argument that was knocking on our door, “It’s dead weight, Sam. The money we could get for it would be enough to keep us comfortable for a little longer without having to worry.” “We grew up on this thing. It’s not just Mom and Dad’s name on it. This thing is a part of our family.”

I sighed as Sarah stepped forward, “You know the situation we’re in. This is why I prefer not to dwell on it in front of everybody.” “Well what if we don’t need to sell it?” Sam said. “Can we talk about this in private?” I suggested, tiring of having to convince Sam that we were in the right when he hadn’t been around to witness our struggles. A long time friend of ours called out to Sam and he willingly took the distraction, opting out of having the inevitable difficult conversation. Sarah and I trudged back, totes of fish in hand and tried to get through the rest of the work day without worrying if we were approaching our last.

————

During golden hour, when the clock had struck five and we’d started packing it up for the day was the only time to get Sam to actually listen. I knew how much the boat meant to him, it meant something to us all, but he wasn’t living in the reality that Sarah and I were.

“Sam, the boat’s gotta go,” Sarah finally said, breaking the silence we were working in on the vessel. “Wait-“ “No, let me finish,” she said, “Y/n and I are doin’ everything I can to keep this business afloat and every day we’re making $5 and spending $10.” Sam looked between the two of us, “So why won’t you let me help?” 

“Sam, don’t…” I winced, knowing Sarah’s reaction would be strong.

“No, don’t start with that. We made a deal before Daddy died,” Sarah carried a few buckets to the center of the deck, “You’re out there, I do things my way here. Y/n agreed to it too when she went off to school.” “Right, but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans,” Sam finished tying off one of the ropes, turning around and giving Sarah the perfect opportunity to punch his chest, “Forgot how hard you hit.” I sighed as I passed him by to follow Sarah, “Low blow, you deserved it.” 

“Sarah, Y/n, c’mon,” he chased after us, “Look, and don’t hit me again…What if you had money to fix it up? Make it nice so you can charter it when you’re not out working the waters?” “Sam, do you think this was an easy decision for us?” I faced him, leaning against the doorway next to him, “I tried every tactic I learned in business school and got nowhere. Anything I thought up, we needed more money to do. This is our only option.” As he always did with the things he cared about, he fought. “We can take a loan and consolidate everything, it’ll take down your monthly,” he looked confused as he watched Sarah laugh, “What?” “You think I didn’t try the banks? They’re in with all that big business now.” I followed them like the little sister I’d always been as they moved their fight towards the cockpit of the boat. Sam blocked another doorway, “Yeah, but now you have me.”

“Don’t, Sam,” Sarah shook her head, “I just got good with this.”

“All right…”

“Maybe it is time for us to move on,” Sarah sighed. “Either way, just let me help,” Sam offered, “I’ll set the appointment. Look, I won’t let you guys down. We can turn this shit around. Trust me.” I peered over at Sarah, wishing I could see the calculations going on in her brain. It seemed pointless, but any shot at changing our luck was an avenue worth pursuing.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I shrugged.

Sarah finally relented, “To the rescue, huh?”

“Always,” Sam smiled, “Now, let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry.” ————

Sarah was taking AJ and Cass back home while Sam and I took his truck to go pick up food.

“So how was Tunisia?” I asked, sticking my hand out the window and letting it rise and fall with the wind.

“Hot, but the mission went well,” he answered, looking out of the corner of his eyes at me, “And that’s all you need to know.”

I snickered, “C’mon, it’s our thing. I ask you detailed questions about your confidential missions, you tell me you can’t reveal anything, I keep asking…You’ve gotta honor tradition.” “I flew, I fought, I rescued. Boom, mission explained.” “Ugh, you’re impossible, Wilson,” I waved him off, “How was the museum dedication?” The atmosphere changed as the subject of conversation changed from easy to complicated. “It was nice to see Steve’s accomplishments celebrated. Got to see Rhodes which was nice…” “You’re avoiding a red white and blue topic,” I said, trying to coax his true feelings out of their shells, “Seriously, are you really okay with this? Giving up the shield?” Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think it was ever meant to end up in my hands. I did the right thing, it belongs with Steve and the museum is the closest to Steve I can get.” I respected my friend’s choice but I knew there was so much more to his decision and I wished he would just say it. He had an enormous amount of respect for Steve Rogers and what the shield represented, but Steve Rogers never had to face the issues that Sam Wilson did. Steve Rogers could follow a government and be respected in return with no problems whatsoever. Sam Wilson couldn’t, not always. There was an elephant in the room and if neither of us wanted to talk about it, I wouldn’t push it.

“You’d have looked good in that uniform though,” I smiled as we turned into the take out place’s parking lot.

“Damn right,” Sam waggled his eyebrows and unbuckled his seatbelt. Laughter rang out in the truck sending me on waves of nostalgia. The memories that me and him had in this truck still were infamous between us. As proud as I was of the Falcon’s heroics, I was prouder to call Sam Wilson my best friend.

————

Just as he’d promised, Sam made the appointment with the banker. He and Sarah were already on their way as I made the hour long drive in the opposite direction to New Orleans. I’d told them I’d be back in the evening to discuss how it went, but I had my own appointment to keep.

Sam and I had met back when we were just a couple of first graders. I’d always struggled with making friends as a kid, but Sam never had an issue when it came to connecting with others. It was one of his strongest qualities. And so he used his gift on his desk neighbor, the loneliest kid in class, and pulled her out of herself. We were inseparable until college and adulthood forced us apart, but we’d never lost our bond. Even when he was a pararescue, he wrote to me as often as his work allowed him.

All the Wilsons had taken a liking to me after Sam brought me home one day after school to watch cartoons. Darlene had told me I was welcome to come over any time I wanted, an offer Sam and I accepted till I became a permanent fixture in their house. Paul and his wife had frequently tried to get the rest of my family over for a crawfish boil or a barbecue. They’d send me every few weeks with a verbal invitation to my parents and the next day I’d always come back with a polite decline and excuse as to why we couldn’t make it. Mom was busy with spring cleaning, Melanie had a recital, Dad was feeling under the weather…

The only one that had ever been true was about my dad not feeling well. He was never well. But as a child, how do you explain that your father is a ghost around his own home who drinks himself to sleep and wakes up each night screaming from nightmares? There was no polite way to phrase circumstances that dark. Sometimes I felt like my dad had never returned from the military and though there hadn’t been a war at the time of his service, he still came back with his share of trauma. Mom did everything she could to try and help him. She found support groups for veterans, she took him to the best psychiatrists, she created a safe space for him within our home to retreat to. There was no amount of help that could kill my father’s demons and that was proven the night he’d said we were out of milk and he was going to the store. A few hours later, with my sister and I fast asleep upstairs, my worried mother answered the door and was informed by the police that my father had crashed his car and was dead. After speaking to Mom about what his mood had been like before he’d left and if he suffered from any mental illnesses, it was ruled as an undoubtable suicide.

My mother didn’t get much time to mourn after the funeral, she had two children to provide for. She took three jobs just to earn enough to move us from our house in New Orleans to a dingy apartment in Delacroix by the bayou. When the Wilsons heard that Mom needed to scrape enough money in the budget to hire a baby-sitter for me and Melanie, they put a stop to her efforts immediately. The insisted that Mel and I would be happier spending the time my mom was working with them and their kids rather than a stranger. That was how the Wilsons and the Y/l/ns had ended up so tightly knit. While Sarah and Melanie had bonded as the older sisters and were often off doing their own thing, Sam and I caused havoc of our own in classic younger sibling fashion. By the time we were in high school, both parents called the other’s children their own.

When Paul and Darlene passed away, it was incredibly hard on all of us and it was equal when Mom had a fall and the doctors suggested she move into a facility. Sam, Sarah and I had worked hard to get her into one of the best nursing homes in the city and she hadn’t stopped raving about how much she loved it. Pulling into the parking lot was like muscle memory now, I never missed a weekend visit with her. This one was special because Melanie, her husband and brood of children had come too. I grabbed my visitor’s sticker at the front desk and made my way down the familiar hallways. The sound of laughter and cooing echoed out of my mom’s room, bringing a smile to my face.

I knocked on the door and heads turned, my nieces and nephews being the quickest. “Aunt Y/n!” I embraced Sophia and Max tightly, “The twin tornados! I missed you guys,” separating from them was difficult as they clung to me but I made it to Stephan, giving him a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Mel, “You look hot, mama.” “I certainly don’t feel it,” she remarked as she cradled their newest addition, baby Alexandra, close to her chest, “I spend more hours of the day covered in glitter glue and spit up than you could imagine.” “You wear it all well,” I patted her shoulder before coming to my mother’s bedside and hugging her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” she kissed both of my cheeks and looked to the door, “Sarah and Sam couldn’t come?” “No, but they send their love. They had an appointment at the bank,” I set down my purse and pulled up a chair, “We’re trying to get approved for a small business loan.”

Glen took Alexandra from Mel so she could tend to the twins, “I wish we could help out, Y/n. I’ve looked at the budget over and-“ It warmed my heart that my brother-in-law cared so much about a problem that wasn’t his to bear. “Glen,” I held up a hand, “You guys are stretched thin enough. This isn’t me asking for charity, it’s our problem and Sam’s confidant we’ll find a fix.” “How does he have enough time to be a member of the Air Force, an Avenger and save the family business?” Mel asked.

“Well, the Avengers are kind of off doing their own thing right now from what I understand and he’s home for a little while from the Air Force,” I explained, “So his main job at the moment is to get us our funding and annoy the snot out of me while doing it.” After earning some giggles from Sophia and Max at the expression, Glen announced that they were going to go and grab lunch for everybody. My mom took my hand once it was just the two of us and I settled into my seat, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hanging in there,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “Tired, stressed, I smell like fish most of the time…We need this loan or else we’re going to have to sell the boat. You should’ve seen Sam’s face when Sarah told him…”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that boat means to you kids. I could’ve offered you the moon and stars and it still wouldn’t have been enough to get you off it.” I smiled at the memories of summer nights spent laying on the deck stargazing, dance parties on the stern and early mornings spent with Mr. Wilson teaching us how to fish. A childhood with so much sadness had also contained so many joys. To part with a tangible one killed me more than I’d let on to Sam.

Sensing that the topic was making me emotional, my mother was kind enough to change it. “How are things otherwise? Have you been getting out there?” I dropped my head back dramatically and groaned, “Mom…” “I’m just saying,” she dropped my hand and held up hers in surrender, “You should get out there, meet someone. There’s no shame in trying those online dating services. What’s the one…the…Tinder?” “Oh my gosh, Mom,” I buried my face in my hands and moved my fingers so she could only see my eyes, “Please stop talking.” “You know who I ran into the other day? Jack’s mom, from high school. She lives just down the next hallway, she says that he’s still single. You could get in touch with him.” “Y’know, for a woman who advocated for her daughters to lead such independent lives, you’re sure quick to try and marry us off,” I chuckled, “The second Mel started dating Glen you were practically booking the church.” “And I’m very proud of both my girls for being such strong young women,” she smiled proudly, “But finding love doesn’t mean losing your independence so long as you’re with the right man. I love that you’ve been helping out Sarah these last few years but honey…I see how lonely you are. In those big y/e/c eyes you think I still can’t read after all these years.” The y/e/c eyes in question started to fill with sadness at hearing my pain verbalized. It was true, I was lonely. More so than I would ever let on to anybody. I was a shy enough kid who only withdrew further after Dad passed away, that kind of introversion wasn’t one that you outgrew. But I’d given up the idea of finding someone to spend my life with a long time ago for a bevy of reasons.

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, Mama,” I nodded as if to force myself to agree with my statement, “No chances of getting hurt…or hurting somebody.” “You couldn’t hurt somebody even if you tried,” my mom argued sweetly, “You couldn’t even kill spiders when you were a kid.” “And now there’s a Spiderman out there so I’m glad I didn’t,” I shot back with a laugh.

“I’m serious, honey,” she took my hand once again, “Don’t let your heart’s wounds keep you from finding someone who could help soothe them.” 

I was convinced my mother was both a poet and a therapist at some point in her life, she gave advice in the most beautifully phrased way. And while I’d loved to have taken her words to heart, tell Mel to fix me up with one of Glen’s friends and put an end to my loneliness, I feared that I was just too broken to give love to someone.

————

I arrived back home late, shedding my boots and bag at the doors. I’d expected to hear a triumphant chorus of Sam shouting ‘WHO DA MAN?’ as he typically would when heroically proving me and Sarah wrong, but there was only silence. When I walked into the kitchen and saw their glum faces, it wasn’t hard to guess the outcome of the meeting. “You’re kidding me…” “Said that things had tightened up,” Sam said, leaning against one side of the island and taking a swig of his beer, “Had the balls to ask me for a picture afterwards.” I groaned and grabbed the beer bottle Sarah had extended to me, “Okay, we’re out of options. It’s time to move forward-“ “Don’t say it…” Sam tiredly warned.

“Someone has to, Sam. We can’t keep searching for solutions when the right one is sitting out on our dock,” I gestured to the window that looked out on the road we took each day to work.

Sarah set her beer down and held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not having this argument again tonight, I’m going to bed. If you’re gonna kill each other, do it quietly.” She left as me and Sam silently stared each other down, waiting for the other to speak. I was too frustrated to play the game, “What’s this really about?” “It’s about the damn boat and that you and Sarah are throwing in the towel too-“ “What,” I elongated the single syllable word, “Is this really about?” Sam set his drink down and rubbed his hands over his head before looking back up at me helplessly, “You guys were on your own for five years and you’ve done an amazing job. But now nothing’s working and I just…I just want to help because I couldn’t for so long.” It all clicked as to why Sam was being so insistent on trying to eliminate the whole matter. He was used to saving the day and finally meeting one that he couldn’t save was a wall he thought he could still find a way to run through. He’d been like that ever since we were kids, always trying to help the people he loved even when it was impossible. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever met.

“I love you,” I set down my bottle and crossed the island to come next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, “But this may be one problem that the Falcon can’t swoop in and fix. The Avengers work hard, but a business graduate helping to run a struggling seafood business works harder,” I succeeded in getting him to crack a smile, “Believe me, I’ve run all the numbers and consulted with anyone who would listen. The boat’s gotta go.”

“Yeah, well, humor me and give me a little while longer.”

“Fine, a couple more days,” I grabbed my beer once again and clinked it against his, “But it’s not my fault if Sarah smacks you again.” Sam laughed, slung an arm around my neck and kissed my temple. “You coming up soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a few minutes,” I answered, watching as he finished his drink before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. Once I’d heard his bedroom door open and close, I exited out to the back porch. I took in the late night sounds of the bayou, the crickets chirping and the wind rustling trees had always soothed me. I wished they could touch what I was feeling right now, but the noise didn’t do a thing to drown out my worry. For the business I feared we may lose, for Sam as he ran himself ragged trying to help and for myself and what him and Sarah would think of me once I confessed the secret I’d kept from them for so long.

I held out my hand and watched as the blue energy flowed from my fingertips. Would Sam ever forgive me for not telling him I had powers? They had manifested when I was young, my parents said. I couldn’t remember a day where my body hadn’t produced a magical energy that when harnessed incorrectly could be destructive. It had been a sad day for my mother’s garden when I’d discovered that bit…According to her, she’d wanted to take me to a school for people like me run by a man named Charles Xavier but my father had said no immediately. He’d been so insistent on keeping my powers a secret that my mother said she’d only seen that type of fear in his eyes when he had a war flashback. So I was instructed to never show my powers to anyone under any circumstances and I’d done just that. I’d thought about revealing them in 2012 after the Battle of New York, but my dad’s fear rang in my ears. Three years later when Sam became an Avenger was when I began to feel guilty that I was keeping a secret from him. I’d wanted to join him and find somewhere where I didn’t feel so out of place, but I’d decided against it again. Now with their team so broken and Sam off with the Air Force, I’d finally gathered the courage to confide in him and Sarah. I should have done it six months ago, but I’d chickened out too many times. Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow was the day. But would they still see me the same way once I showed them? ————

The next morning, after dressing and running over what I wanted to say three times, I hesitantly headed downstairs to face the music. With there being nobody in the kitchen, I followed the sounds of the television to find Sarah and Sam staring at the screen intently. I stood to the side of the room and watched a suited man give a speech out front of a government building. “We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.”

My jaw slackened as a man marched out in front of the gathered press, dressed in a variation of Steve Rogers’ patriotic uniform and carrying the iconic shield. The shield that had only weeks ago sat upstairs in Sam’s bedroom in a case. I dragged my gaze away from the screen to look at my best friend, hunched over in his seat with his eyes shut in sorrow. Sarah looked just as distraught, her eyes trained on her brother as well. We waited in silence until the breaking news broadcast switch back to regularly scheduled programming before Sarah switched the box off.

“I thought you said it was going to stay in the museum,” I finally spoke, my voice choked with emotion.

“It was supposed to,” Sam ground out, his grip on his own hands tightening. Without any warning, he rose from his seat and left the room. My instinct was to follow him and try to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say to ease the deep pain he was feeling. I wasn’t even sure I could form words that weren’t doused in raw shock. The two things I was sure of were that a) the government had fucked up royally and b) now was definitely not the time to tell Sam about my powers.

————

It was a few days later and Sam still hadn’t spoken much to Sarah and I about the situation. It was unnatural for Sam to suffer in silence especially around us, but we both gave him the space he needed. 

I was taking laundry to AJ and Cass’ room and had to pass by Sam’s, surprised to see him packing a bag. “Thought you were sticking around.” “Something big came up,” he replied as he set a stack of t-shirts in his duffle bag, “I need to go check it out.” I leaned against his doorway, “Air Force big or Avengers big?” “The second one.” “And you’re going by yourself?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam looked over his shoulder at me finally, “Don’t have anybody to else to call. Besides, I can handle myself.” I hummed in response before setting down the stack of laundry, an idea forming in my head that could solve both of our problems. I folded my hands together and dug my feet into the carpet, “What if you didn’t have to go by yourself?” He looked confused, “What are you talking about?” My folded hands began to make circles in the air as I struggled for the right words, “What if I came with you?” “What, like take your family to work day something?” Sam scoffed, “That’d be fun.” “I’m serious.” “Are you crazy? Of course you can’t come.” “Hear me out,” I looked to his bag and the pair of jeans he had next to fold, “Actually watch.” He folded his arms and waited for my demonstration. I took a deep breath and extended my hand, forcing my energy outwards to levitate the jeans. “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed as he watched me maneuver the clothing inside his duffle, “W-w-what…What was that?” I shrugged and pulled my hand back to my side, “The reason why you should take me.��

“How long have you been able to do that?” “Since I was a kid,” I moved out of the doorway and closed the door, the last thing I needed was AJ and Cass knowing their aunt could move things with her mind, “My parents told me never to tell anybody. I’ve thought about telling you for years since you’re used to this kind of thing but I was scared…Then you were gone and when you came back, life was moving non-stop and I lost my courage. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sam stood with his jaw hung for a few seconds before shaking his head back into reality, “Why are you apologizing? You never had to tell me, but I’m glad you did,” he pointed a finger towards me, “But you’re still not going.” “What are you talking about? I’d be an asset to whatever it is you’re fighting! And I love you but c’mon bird boy, you may be able to fly but I can do it without any tech.” “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” Sam gestured between the two of us, “You think insulting me is the way to get me to let you come?” “Come on,” I moved to sit on his bed, “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll prove that I can help.” “Alright, alright,” Sam took a stance in front of me, “You wanted to hear the tea on my missions, I’ll spill it. There’s an online group called the Flag Smashers, their MO is to get the world back to the way it was during the last five years. My military contact, Torres, went undercover in Switzerland when they robbed a bank. Knocked him unconscious when he tried to fight back.” I balanced my elbows on my knees and tapped a finger against my lip, “So kind of a Robin Hood deal, right? Stealing things from the rich and giving it to the poor. In this case, the poor being those who never disappeared.” “Exactly, except the guy that knocked Torres out was strong. Too strong. I’m thinking they could be a part of-“ “The big three.” Sam’s neck snapped back, “How do you know about the big three?” I shrugged nonchalantly, “The little you do tell me about your avenging always ties back to either androids, aliens or wizards. Though I think you’re being a little dramatic with the term ‘wizard.’”

“Are you seriously gonna correct the guy who’s actually there doing the fighting?” “Are you seriously gonna deny yourself valuable help against either an alien or an android?”

Sam sighed, I was successfully backing him into a corner. “Can you even fight?”

Extending one hand, I levitated Sam and gently slammed his back into the ceiling before reversing course and lowering him onto the carpet. He moaned as he rolled over to face me, “Could’ve given me a concussion.” “Maybe that would knock some sense into your head,” I stood and gave him my hand to pull him up, “Sam, I know that I don’t have any experience but I am more than capable of defending myself. I want to actually do something with these powers instead of sitting on my ass. I’d rather do it with you than on my own. Please?” I watched the cogs in his mind turn through his eyes, I knew he was only fighting this hard because he wanted to keep me safe. But he was in way over his head if he thought it wasn’t worth taking me with. He accepted my hand and stood to his full height, “Pack a bag, we’re leaving for the air base in an hour.” I smiled and threw my arms around him, “Thank you, you won’t regret this.” “I’d better not,” he warned, his arms stayed straightened in displeasure of my enthusiasm, “If you take some stupid risk and put yourself in jeopardy, I’m putting your ass on a plane home.” Quick footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway until the door opened to reveal Sarah, “What was all that noise? It sounded like you were throwing each other into walls.” “Busy,” I quickly dismissed her, using my energy to shut the door in Sarah’s face from a distance.

“Um,” her muffled voice rang through, “What the hell was that?!”

--------

Taglist: (open)

[anistarrose]

Summary: Stan finds a recording from a fateful puppet show, a few disjointed memories fall into place, and the Pines family has some tense conversations.

Relationships: Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Dipper Pines & Ford Pines & Mabel Pines & Stan Pines

Characters: Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Bill Cipher (posthumously)

Set in early September, probably a little less than a week after Dipper and Mabel went home.

(It felt good to write some Stangst again! Title is from Monster Town by Go! Child because when I can't think of titles on my own, I go to my GF playlist for inspo, and that song jumped out at me today)

***

“We should probably bring a backup camera on the boat,” Ford mused, in a tone that made it impossible to tell whether he was talking to Stan or just to himself. “Maybe even multiple backup cameras. There’s no telling what the Arctic climate could do to their circuitry, and people hardly take cryptid reports seriously even with photographic evidence, never mind with just an eyewitness account and an excuse about a broken camera —”

“Easy, Sixer.” Stan set down his fully-packed suitcase at Ford’s feet, satisfied with its contents. “I’ve got a camcorder up in my room, or maybe in — actually, I can’t remember where I decided to keep it, but it’s probably still in the house somewhere. If I can find it, you can add it to your camera horde.”

Ford zipped open Stan’s suitcase, revealing hand-knitted sweaters and Hawaiian shirts in approximately equal numbers, and sighed. “Some brave wardrobe choices you’re making here. Or have you forgotten that the first beach we’re stopping at is in Alaska?”

“Well, someone’s gotta lead the fashion revolution in the Arctic Circle, and it sure ain’t gonna be you,” Stan called as he headed upstairs, provoking a resigned “hrmph” from Ford.

Stan decided to look for the camcorder in his bedroom first — because while his memory still had some scattered gaps, his gut instincts rarely lead him astray, and checking his room had been his first impulse. Sure enough, he found it sitting on a shelf and covered in slightly less dust than the adjacent stack of magazines, just as he ever-so-vaguely remembered it.

“Better make sure this thing works, before Ford declares it too unreliable for yeti hunts or whatever,” he muttered to himself, leaning back onto his bed and fumbling for the power button. The camcorder blinked to life, presenting an interface that was probably hopelessly outdated — but Stan didn’t care, while Ford would have no way of knowing what modern Earth technology looked like.

What’d I even record on this thing anyway? He selected a random video from June, was greeted with his own voice singing the first line of the Stan Wrong Song, and immediately deleted the recording. With a sigh and silent vow to never let Ford learn of the song’s existence, he moved on to a video from July.

Once again, it was Mabel’s handiwork — heh, no wonder I couldn’t remember what I used this thing for, since the kids were always borrowing it from me — but this time, Stan himself wasn’t in frame, though the craft supplies strewn about the living room were enough to stir dormant memories.

“Dipper! Puppet Dipper! Smile for the camera!”

Dipper yawned, then somewhat half-heartedly mimicked the motion using the sock puppet on his hand. “Puppet Dipper’s not really feeling up to it this morning.”

“Did Puppet Dipper stay up too late trying to solve a mystery? Bwap!” The footage blurred as Mabel nudged Dipper with a sock puppet of her own. “Do I need to make him a little puppet-sized pillow?”

“How about… some puppet-sized sunglasses, for a puppet detective?” Dipper suggested.

“Good idea!” Mabel agreed. “Then no one will notice when Puppet Dipper falls asleep standing up!”

Stan shook his head and smiled.

Man, I wish I’d found this back when my memories were still a mess — Mabel kinda skimmed over the whole puppet saga in her scrapbook. Wonder what else got recorded from that week…

He selected the next video chronologically, noticing that it was also the final recording on the device, and the smile vanished from his face.

“You can’t stop me!” It was Dipper’s voice, yet not Dipper’s voice — all fury and arrogance, and the camcorder’s cheap speaker crackled with static, like the voice was too much, too wrong, too alien to properly record and then replicate. “I’m a being of pure energy with NO weaknesses!”

Without a doubt, Dipper’s body was onscreen, but he was staggering towards Mabel with arms twisted at impossible angles. He lunged for the journal in her hands, eyes glinting the same gold color as the emblem of the six-fingered hand —

Stan hit the power button, rolled over on the bed, and buried his face in his pillow as the wave of memories crashed into him.

Brushing off Dipper’s sorry state as sleep deprivation, until the kid collapsed on the way out of the theater. Seeing the cuts and bruises all over Dipper’s hands as Stan helped him to his feet, and grilling the kids on what happened the whole drive to the hospital. Not getting an answer beyond ���sleep deprivation.”

Not being able to give the doctor an answer beyond “sleep deprivation.”

Telling the twins’ parents it was just “sleep deprivation.”

A tense phone call, assuring Mr. and Mrs. Pines that Dipper’s recovery would be swift and tha Gravity Falls was still safe for their children. Stan’s hands shaking as he holds the phone, having no idea if that’s the truth, if he’s doing the right thing.

Mabel crying over a crumpled-up scrap of paper — a note? — she’d found in the car, and refusing to show it to Stan. Half-overheard secrets, whispered between the younger twins when they think Stan isn’t paying attention — apologies, worries, and murmurs too soft to be in any way decipherable.

Dipper, still with bags under his eyes, spending the next few days doing almost nothing but looking over his shoulder and burying his head in the journal. Stan pretending not to notice, but secretly finding it far too familiar for comfort.

Later memories, too — memories of demons, and handshakes, and feeling his body go numb. Memories of a voice, a furiously shrieking voice — both terrified and terrifying, but more than anything, alien.

Now, far too late, Stan recognized it.

***

“We’re calling the kids,” Stan barked, barging back downstairs, and Ford jumped.

“What’s wrong? Are your memories —”

“Better than they’ve ever been, actually.” Stan stormed directly to the living room table, flipping open the laptop on loan from Soos and clicking the video chat app. “Good enough to figure out something that apparently no one thought it might be important to tell me!”

“Are you sure?” Ford put a hand on Stan’s shoulder. “We can still call them, but let’s talk this through first, make sure you’re not missing any gaps —”

Stan paused, cursor an inch away from the call button beneath Dipper and Mabel’s profile picture. “Did Dipper tell you about the time Bill possessed him?”

Ford started to say something, stopped, and tried again. “I… I assumed you knew. I’m sorry.”

“Did you know I ended up taking him to the goddamn hospital afterwards?”

“No,” Ford whispered, and Stan felt Ford’s fingers dig into his shoulder. “Call the kids, Stan.”

Mabel must’ve been online, because she picked up almost immediately. The video opened with her sitting in her kitchen in Piedmont, Waddles in her lap. “Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford! Guess what I —”

The joy drained out of her smile when she noticed her grunkles’ grave expressions. “What’s going on?”

“Mabel, pumpkin,” Stan murmured, trying to tune out the sound of his heart thumping in his chest, “could you go get your brother?”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Dipper slid into view, almost falling off his chair, and Mabel scooted out of the way so they could both comfortably face the laptop. “Is something wrong?”

“Not anymore,” Ford explained, “but Stan and I wanted to talk about… communication, among other things — Stan? Are you sure you’re alright?”

Stan wiped the sweat from his forehead and shuddered, forcing himself to take a deep breath as he stared at the computer.

Dipper’s back home. Dipper’s safe. They’re both safe, and they’ll never have to worry about Bill again.

“Stanley?” Ford echoed, increasingly distressed. “Please, if —”

“I’ll be alright,” Stan managed, because even he wasn’t a good enough liar to convince anyone he was alright at this exact moment. “Promise. But kids, why didn’t you tell me when Bill hijacked your puppet show?”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a guilty look.

“Was it because you thought I’d take away the journal?” Stan regretted his ‘only self-defense’ stipulation for the third journal more than almost anything else he’d said that summer, because he’d always known deep down that it wouldn’t stop the kids — and in hindsight, he would’ve much rather known what trouble the kids were getting into, not have them hide it from him with their late nights out in the woods and nonspecific excuses.

“At first,” Dipper replied. “But we ended up worrying a whole lot more about you sending us home early —”

“Your parents almost made that decision for me,” Stan admitted. “They were ready to drive up here and come get you when they heard what happened. I dunno how I convinced them to let you stay —”

He sighed. “And maybe knowing the truth wouldn’t have actually helped me that time — but it would’ve been nice to know how big a lie I was telling when I told them this town was safe for you kids, y’know?”

He regretted voicing that thought immediately, but regretted it even moreso when Dipper looked away from the camera, mumbling: “I’m sorry, Grunkle Stan.”

“Stan’s not trying to guilt you,” Ford spoke up, “but we want you to know you can talk about these things honestly with us — and that goes for both of you, Dipper and Mabel. We’d never want to punish you for something that was obviously… someone else’s fault.”

Thank god one of us has finally learned to think through what we say before we say it, Stan figured.

“I’m sorry too, kids,” he added out loud. “For getting angry at you a minute ago — ‘cause I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at Bill for what he got away with right behind my back, and I… I just…”

He brushed a finger across their digital faces, a gesture that no doubt failed to translate to the video feed Dipper and Mabel were viewing, and smiled. “Thanks for picking up so fast, ‘cause I really needed a reminder that the two of you are safe and sound and all.”

The kids smiled back, visible for just a second before Mabel leaned forward to hug her laptop and the screen went dark.

“Anytime, Grunkle Stan.”

***

“Coffee?” asked Ford, ever the early riser, as Stan trudged into the kitchen the next morning. “You look like you need it.”

“Gee, thanks, Sixer,” Stan groaned, slumping into the seat across from Ford at the kitchen table. “I’ve heard of backhand compliments, but now I’ve gotta live with your backhanded coffee offers too?”

“Sorry. I’m sympathizing, not mocking — I promise, when I woke up today, my eyes were just as bloodshot as yours are now,” Ford replied, sliding Stan a mug of steaming coffee. “How are your memories?”

It was a routine question as of late, but Stan still managed to botch it completely.

“Too good,” he muttered under his breath, and earned a quizzical look from Ford.

“Pardon?”

“…Good enough that I can remember all kinda things to feel shitty about,” Stan reluctantly admitted. “Like not even noticing when Dipper was possessed, for one thing. I spent the whole summer worrying about him, except for when he was actually in danger —”

“Oh, Stanley,” Ford sighed, “that’s not your fault. You know Bill was an expert liar; he scammed too many people to count —”

“Yeah, but I shoulda seen through it!” Stan brought his fist down on the table, and the contents of his mug sloshed precariously close to the top. “Of all people, I should’ve known better —”

“Right.” Ford grimaced. “Right. Because no one else who should’ve known better was ever tricked by a dream demon for a whole lot longer than a few hours —”

“Shit. Ford, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like —”

With a controlled glowering expression and deliberate motions, Ford stood, marching across the kitchen with all the fury and hesitation of a slow-moving thunderstorm.

“I didn’t mean it was your fault! I’d never — ”

“…I know.” Ford came to a halt at the door, bracing one hand against the frame. “But if you can say as much about me, then… then why can’t you just say that about yourself?”

“What?!”

“You would’ve caught on soon enough, if Mabel hadn’t defeated Bill when she did — I wasn’t there, but I’m sure of that because I know you, and I know how well you know Dipper.” Ford shook his head. “I didn’t catch on to Bill’s lies for years. I gave him free reign to hurt people for so much longer than one evening —”

He crossed his arms, and his imposing silhouette in the doorway seemed to shrink.

“So if you’re not blaming me for anything to happen this summer, then you’d better not blame yourself, you — you knucklehead.”

“Are you kidding me?” Stan leapt out of his seat. “It’s no wonder you didn’t see through Bill’s lies, when your whole life, you had me watching your back — and then I wasn’t there for you, when you needed me more than ever —”

“Because I pushed you away!” Ford shouted, whirling back around to face him. “Do you know what I realized while I was trying to fall asleep last night? That if I’d just stood up to Dad when he kicked you out, if I’d just done the right thing for once in my formative years, then the end of the world as we knew it would’ve been averted altogether! No falling for Bill’s flattery, no arguing over the zodiac, no Weirdmageddon! We could’ve had it all, but we just couldn’t live in that better world, all because I convinced myself you were suffocating me —”

“But it sounds like maybe I still am, huh?” Stan growled. “If all I do is just make you furious like this —”

“No,” Ford gasped, all the hostility in his voice and his glare immediately melting away. “No, no, absolutely not! I’m not furious at you, Stan, I’m…”

“Furious at yourself,” Stan accused, “for being even worse than me?!”

“No! Don’t even say that!”

Before Stan could process what was happening, much less protest it, Ford was hugging him, burying his face in Stan’s shoulder.

“Maybe — maybe I am angry at you, after all,” Ford admitted, “but you’re my hero, Stanley. My inspiration. If am angry with you, it’s — it’s just because you’re too damn stubborn to forgive yourself…”

Stan gingerly placed a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “…Yeah, and you’re one to talk.”

“I won’t deny that,” Ford mumbled. He went quiet for a few seconds, and when he spoke up again, his voice was quieter, yet slightly more composed. “Maybe we need to just… call a truce. Find something positive to agree on. We’re both too stubborn for this argument to end with either of us admitting we were wrong —”

“At least for give-or-take the next forty years,” Stan interrupted, punctuating his words with a bitter laugh.

Ford barked out a laugh of his own, loud and cathartic, and withdrew from the hug, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. “If Dipper and Mabel were here, they would have told us to stop being stubborn old men a while ago. I wish they were here.”

“They’d probably also tell us it’s more Bill’s fault than either of ours,” Stan added. “And… I guess they’d have a point.”

“I can see the logic in that.” Ford smiled faintly. “I’m sorry for making this about me, by the way. You opened up to talk about your own issues, and I —”

“Hey, I made it about you just as much as you did, Brainiac,” Stan reminded him. “…But damn. You think we’ll ever be able to talk about our feelings without shouting our lungs out at each other?”

“We’re still no good at thinking through anything before we say it,” Ford replied, “though I guess we must be getting a little better, since we didn’t even stop speaking to each other this time.”

“Thank god. I’m tired of not talking to you.”

The two of them settled back into their seats at the table, and Stan reached for the morning paper, but Ford spoke up once more.

“I know forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, can be… complicated,” he told Stan in a low voice, “so maybe I’m biased, speaking as someone who’d rather not grapple with my own personal guilt — but even more important than whether you forgive or blame yourself, I think, is acknowledging that you made mistakes, yet still deserve good things from the universe. And that goes for you and me both.”

Stan took a sip from his mug, pleased to find its contents were still warm. “Good things like coffee, and adventures sailing around the world?”

Ford chuckled. “My priorities exactly.”

[ylvisforalltid]

My recap/review of På Holmen - Episode 3

Ylvis are back for more, this time with Magnus in charge. And like before I invite everyone to discuss the third episode with me, either here, or on facebook in Ylvis- a group.

Here’s my chronological recap/review of the third episode of ‘Ylvis På Holmen med Calle og Magnus’

Episode 3

Magnus doing a good job at teasing what’s coming in his episode

the lengths they went for with shooting the boat intro is very much appreaciated

they could’ve gone the easy way and just film all arriving in one boat but they reshot it several times, gotta love perfectionists (hence the adding slurping sound for Calle eating ice cream?)

look whose entering a Chris Evans Knives Out look-alike contest with the beige knitted sweater combo. This look might replace my previous favourite beige look of his which was on the Tørnquist show

Is Calle wearing Bård’s pants from episode 2? Is Bård wearing Vegard’s pants from episode 2??

Magnus seems more at ease already although being the host. Maybe because this time he has control? I would guess that he might not be able to read the rest as well as they do each other which makes all the spontaneous impro parts harder for him I supppose. I am already pleaseantly surprised

I might not have liked that he replaced the verse singing for the summer tree poem but I am glad he went with what he most likely felt more comfortable with

I could write so much about Bård just casually sitting in his chair and looking way too good but I’ll restrain myself from doing that in this recap

the question about the difference between Magnus and the other three was so vague that I didn’t know if the outcome would be funny. I was wrong, it was

Magnus naming the one thing that at least Ylvis pretty much avoids at all costs (irony alert)

Calle’s face looking like he’s questioning his own fee when hearing how much they get

‘Hva er prisen’ reminds me of ‘The Price Is Right’ and could’ve been a real funny segment. But sadly (entertainment-wise) it seems that a norwegian celebrity isn’t as removed from the normal people as in other countries

but the whole skit was still enjoyable enough to watch because they are too competitive to not make it fun

can someone please explain to me why Bård says ‘Chicago’ when him and Calle have the same amount? Is that another sort of loan word colloquial term like ‘Texas’ that Norwegians use?

Bård saying that he tries to raise his children poor. In a way I believe him. I think him to be the strictest parents out of all three.

the best thing about Latterkongen for me is still the jury losing it rather than the contestants competing for the title

if Ylvis would update their merchandise shop it should include that royal plastic sausage that gets used a lot

the fact that the puppet is called Calle is very irritating

that poor person who had to clean the ice cream machine after making those lunch flavours.

I enjoyed that guessing segment very much. It also meant another competitive live situation which are always the best

also I was curious myself as to how those ice cream flavours would taste, even knowing what’s in it

Bård being impatient with Vegard is funny in a way, since he probably knows that otherwise he starts to get into explaining mode. He already did that a bit at the beginning of tasting his flavour of ice cream. Vegard can’t help himself but giving extra commentary to everything.

Bård doing little victory dances. He’s a five year old in a 38 year old man’s body.

and right after biting into a lemon to lose the taste of the ice cream.

I didn’t get that gospel poem thing Magnus did but since it was only a tiny part of the whole episode, it didn’t really dampen the mood too much

I loved that Magnus brought up the Ellen interview

I would have loved to hear a statement but I guess that’s not funny enough for that fomat

but the bit that Magnus did with them because of it was pure genius and I would’ve have predicted a whole other outcome

the psychologist interview at Concorde. Thank you Magnus for once again giving us an inside look to the office space

shout out to the camera man for giving me a beautiful shot of Bård’s backside hair

I get that the way they have worked together or that long and that interview being taken at their office that the rational side in them is bigger than the emotional one

I agree with Bård, I would’ve though him to score highest as well (you’re still my favourite though) and the bit with Magnus in question to be punished in the previous episode made me believe that even more

Bård being surprised by his own result and immediately trying to excuse it with a ‘cake-sending’reply. Looks like he wants to keep the little shit title more than he cares to admit

Vegard’s remark about cheating the test was really good. Kudos for that.

I wonder if Bård’s rain dance stems from his time in Africa

Aleksander not understanding what the farm instructor says is very relatable to all foreign language learning fans

I don’t think I ever imagined the words birds and brothel to be in one sentence, but they did have a point

what’s with Calle always hurting himself while cutting things. First at the race car challenge and now here. He is a health risk for sure

Bård slightly questioning how masculine he appears when sewing something while Aleksander is sawing without his shirt on has to be one of the funniest revelations on that whole Garden segment

Bård being worried about having a stiff one in his back and Svein comforting him that this won’t be before morning. They really don’t have any filters when talking and it‘s half the fun of that whole Garden thing

the hen is called Kinder! Kinder!! She laid KINDER Eggs!!! How did I miss that joke the first time around?!

and suddenly all turned into sour losers and are throwing the pieces into the fire

I want to know who threw the bucket

the ending of that episode with the aftermatch talk is something we saw in a similar way on IKMY but it was fun either way

the boys clearly rather portraying another persona than themselves

I didn’t have any expectations for this episode but I was truly pleasantly surprised by the ideas that Magnus had for his time hosting

[disneyat34]

Saludos Amigos at 34

A review by Adam D. Jaspering

In 1941, World War II was raging. A number of Latin American countries were beginning to sympathize with the Axis Powers. The Roosevelt administration did not want fascist ideology creeping into the western hemisphere. The State Department needed an ambassador to steer South America towards US interests. They needed Walt Disney.

Walt Disney Animation Studios was in a precarious situation in 1941. For starters, Disney Studios made an irreversible pivot towards feature filmmaking. After the success of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the company expanded. The Hyperion Disney Studio had been abandoned for the larger, more lavish, and pricier Burbank Studio. It was a great cost, but one Disney hoped to offset with his next few pictures.

Disney expected up to 75% of his gross revenue to be earned internationally. Because of the war, the European film market had dried up. As a direct result, Pinocchio and Fantasia were financial losses. Disney had spent too much money and was not earning it back.

These financial struggles culminated in the most infamous labor dispute in the company’s history. Layoffs were imminent, and Disney could only promise security to a small fraction of his 1200 employees. This was the tipping point for the Disney Studio staff.

While Disney proved his mettle as a cartoonist and filmmaker, his business savvy was underdeveloped. Disney was running his big company like a little company, not delegating tasks or departmentalizing. There were wild discrepancies in employee pay and benefits. Animators earned anywhere from $12-$300 a week for the same output of work. Disney, unsympathetic to his employee’s complaints, refused to amend his practices. The ensuing Disney Animator’s Strike lasted from May 29 to September 14th, 1941.

As a result of downsizing and retaliatory firings, Disney Studios exited the strike with only 694 employees. A majority of them, rather incensed by the ordeal. Disney needed three things to keep his company afloat. First, enough money to keep production financially stable. Second, a new market to sell his films until Europe became viable again. Third, he needed to recuse himself from duty until animosity subsided. The US Department of State could provide all three.

The deal was simple. Disney would embark on a 10-week goodwill tour to South America, financed by the United States Government. He would visit Argentina, Brazil, Chile, and Peru. Disney would convince the populace, media, and politicians that The United States was an ally worth keeping. For his cooperation, Disney was given federal loan guarantees, staving off bankruptcy.

Disney brought sixteen faithful employees along on the journey. They were a combination of animators, writers, and composers. They were tasked with soaking up the culture, atmosphere, and influence. Disney Studios would use these inspirations to create two films especially for Latin American audiences: Saludos Amigos (1942) and The Three Caballeros (1944).

Saludos Amigos is comprised of four independent segments, each one centered on a different area of South America: The Peruvian highlands, the Chilean Andes, the Argentinian Pampas, and Rio de Janeiro. Between these segments is video footage of Disney and his crew touring the continent. Perhaps to bookend the segments. Perhaps to ground the cartoons in a sense of reality. Perhaps to pad the runtime; Saludos Amigos is only 42 minutes long!

The first segment is titled Lake Titicaca, taking place at the namesake body of water, resting on the Peruvian and Bolivian border. The short features Donald Duck on vacation.

Donald Duck is one of the most popular characters in the Disney pantheon, and this is his feature film debut. He is appearing in a short within a movie, but it still counts as a feature film debut. Donald is a very static character. You know exactly who he is, what he is capable of, and what sort of situations he will find himself in. Some misfortune will befall him, he’ll overreact, and his anger will exacerbate the situation.

How he behaves in Lake Titicaca is exactly how he behaves in every short. Donald plays a tourist vacationing in Peru. He gets altitude sickness. He upsets a llama. His boat sinks and he’s plunged into the lake. The rope bridge he’s walking across falls apart, sending him careening down a gorge. It’s funny, the slapstick is well done, and it is paced well. It is a very typical Donald Duck cartoon.

It is so representative of Donald Duck, it could easily serve as a stand-alone short. It didn’t need to be part of a movie at all. There’s no massive increase in artistic style. No daring adventure in animation techniques. No groundbreaking backgrounds or design. Disney raised the bar for five consecutive films. Now he was lowering it.

In fairness, the artists did depict the Peruvian environment in a vivid manner. It’s a travel advertisement that doesn’t feel like one. The native craftwork, clothing, and culture are on full display, just as intended. 

For the first half of the short, anyway. Partway, the focus drifts away from Donald Duck visiting Peru to Donald Duck’s wacky hijinks with a llama. In short, Lake Titicaca does a decent job of portraying Peru. However, the focus is on Donald Duck first. Peru is simply the backdrop.

The second featurette is Pedro. Pedro is a personified airplane, the baby in a family of personified airplanes. Pedro’s father’s job is carrying the mail between Chile and Argentina. Every day, he flies over the treacherous Andes. One day, Pedro must fill-in for his father. It’s a parable about growing up and accepting responsibility.

The task and the journey is formidable. It’s made all the more complicated by Aconcagua, the tallest mountain in South America. More than an obstacle, Aconcagua is also personified. He is an angry and territorial mountain, with the ability to control the weather. Whenever planes bother him, he creates storms. It makes little sense. Personified airplanes also make little sense. Clearly, we can accept a large quantity of silliness. 

Much like Lake Titicaca, Pedro is enjoyable, but offers little in terms of cinematic grandeur. It’s easy to understand why. Disney and his group returned from South America in October, 1941. Saludos Amigos debuted in August, 1942. Cinematic grandeur was not the goal. A finished product was the goal.

Throughout the rest of the 1940s, Disney would be releasing a series of package films. Shorts, cobbled together without much rhyme or reason, released as a feature. The combination of Disney’s financial woes and reduced staff forced him to dial his filmic aspirations back. For the foreseeable future, his productions needed to be fast, cheap, and accessible. Saludos Amigos was the forefather of these films.

While the cartoon is underwhelming, it’s not necessarily bad. The major problem is, Pedro offers a very poor representation of Chile. Lake Titicaca offered Peru and its environments as a backdrop. Pedro seems determined to ignore its setting. If young Pedro was carrying mail from Denver to Sacramento, and a personified Pike’s Peak was giving him grief, very little would be changed. There is no Chile in this cartoon dedicated to Chile.

Chileans themselves were well aware of this slight. Chilean cartoonist René Ríos “Pepo” Boettiger was especially frustrated. After seeing Saludos Amigos, Pepo created a truly Chilean cartoon character. Condorito, an animated condor, debuted in 1949. Beginning as a simple comic strip, Condorito has been syndicated internationally, featured in his own comic books, been adapted to TV, film, and a webseries. He remains popular in Chile and throughout Latin America. It’s easy to get inspired by art you like. You can also be inspired by art you don’t like.

Next in the program is El Gaucho Goofy. Here, Disney staple Goofy makes his feature film debut. By 1941, Goofy’s schtick was drifting away from narrative-driven comic shorts and towards a parody of instructional videos. Already, he had “instructed” on baseball, skiing, swimming, fishing, and martial arts. These themed shorts would continue all the way to the 1960s.

El Gaucho Goofy aims to teach the differences between an American cowboy and a South American gaucho. Both have the same job, tending to cattle on the open prairie. The short highlights the regional and cultural differences.

A defining aspect of these satirical Goofy shorts, Goofy is at constant odds with an omniscient narrator. Goofy either tries and fails to follow the provided instructions, or follows the instructions too closely, resulting in disaster. The slapstick is one mere aspect of the humor. The remainder is a dissonance between what the narrator deadpans, and what Goofy actually delivers.

El Gaucho Goofy is funny in its own right. What’s more, Goofy is truly representing the life of a gaucho on the Argentinian Pampas. The short is basic, but entertaining, informative and detailed. Another strike against Pedro, outclassed in dignity and competency by Goofy.

The final segment of the film is Aquarela do Brasil (Watercolor of Brazil). Here, Donald Duck is employed once again. Not simply a sightseer in a foreign land, Donald is paired with Jose Carioca, a parrot and enthusiastic Brazilian patriot. Donald’s fiery temper and bad luck are sidelined for a whirlwind travelogue of Rio de Janeiro.

At the time of filming, Rio was the third most populous city in the western hemisphere (it’s currently fifth). It was the clear intention of the filmmakers to highlight the urban metropolis in all its modern glory. A deliberate rebranding of South America as not just farmers and rural villages. South America also houses centers of industry, culture and commerce, on par with New York.

But when featuring Brazil, one has an obligation to depict the country as a whole. The urban splendor must be paired with the natural beauty. The Amazon river basin and the Pantanal are magnificent natural wonders. Their unique ecosystems and indigenous life contribute to Brazil’s evolution as an empire. Even miles outside the city, there are sights to behold.

The Disney animators depict the natural landscapes well. They create a beautiful watercolor wonderland. A disembodied paintbrush swoops in from offscreen, creating the world in real time. We are given a contrast of deep greens, vivid fluorescents, and rich pastels. It’s very post-impressionistic in style and saturation.

When the short introduces Jose, it shifts into an exploration of Rio de Janeiro’s cityscape. Jose shows off trademark Brazilian interests, including nightclubs and a cachaça bar. Here, Donald partakes of his first glass of cachaça (a Brazilian spirit distilled from sugarcane, quite similar to rum). 

Saludos Amigos, not fully intended for children, has no shame depicting Donald Duck drinking hard liquor. For what it’s worth, he doesn’t seem to enjoy it. Not that the drink tastes bad, Donald can’t stomach alcohol at all. It’s a strange thing to both feature alcohol as a cultural highlight to be respected, but also outwardly discouraging the beverage to a percentage of the viewing audience. Such is the problem of using a children’s cartoon character as a cultural ambassador.

The character of Jose Carioca has a lot of personality. Even more when compared to an oddly subdued Donald, serving as an everyman and American analog. Jose is a passionate, excitable motormouth who launches into long monologues in his native Portuguese. He is often oblivious to Donald not understanding. He has much love for his native Brazil, and is quick to share it with everyone. He especially loves music and dance.

So much so, the movie has no choice but to end on a samba number. Like Fantasia before it, Saludos Amigos has no coda, no outro, and no farewell. Just a title card reading “The End.” Combined with its 42-minute runtime, I can imagine many audience members sitting confused in the theater, waiting for the movie to continue.

Saludos Amigos was never intended to be a masterpiece. It was a piece of propaganda and a tax write-off cobbled together in less than nine months. There are individual elements of the movie to be enjoyed, but nothing especially noteworthy. Had it been made by any studio besides Disney, it would be relegated to obscurity. Not that Saludos Amigos is a celebrated entry in the Disney canon.

The story behind the film’s production is more interesting than the movie itself. Walt & El Grupo, a 2008 documentary, fully detailed Disney and his South American tour. It’s clear that The Walt Disney Company, owner of the archival footage and distributor of the final work, had creative control. Details of Disney’s interoffice troubles and financial debts are briefly mentioned, but the film focuses instead on a recreation of his South American tour. The end result is a very dry, unengaging film.

Despite every problem with Saludos Amigos, it did improve American/South American relations during WWII. The Axis powers had tried to influence South America, but by 1944, Latin America fully embargoed both Germany and Italy. Saludos Amigos didn’t achieve much, but it helped stop fascism from conquering the world. How many movies can make that claim?

Fantasia  Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Pinocchio Bambi Dumbo  Saludos Amigos

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[kyogre-blue]

Nanowrimo, day 19 (wc 1796)

The flow of destiny could not be known by anyone, no matter how singular or special, but it continued ever onward along its path. 

Whether an occurrence was chance or fate, who could say? 

With the non-perishable goods stowed at their temporarily yet unopened office and the perishable foods successfully being used up in partnership with a restaurant per Alibaba’s idea, Sinbad sent the rest of his staff back to Imuchakk to stock additional merchandise while he himself remained in Napolia to work on obtaining the trade union membership they needed to proceed. 

The one thousand gold coin fee was not a problem. They had easily earned several times that from just selling the Imuchakk foods and recipes, and there had even been something left over from Sinbad’s discretionary funds after purchasing the new office. The problem was the recommendation letter from a union member. 

Well, Sinbad didn’t precisely see it as a problem -- rather, it could be considered a minor challenge. 

Before departing, Vittel and Ja’far had provided him a fairly comprehensive list of trade union members in Napolia, as well as notable ones from around the rest of the empire. It would be up to Sinbad to choose the one to approach and how to convince them to endource the Sindria Company. 

There were fewer than he had expected. 

“It’s because each one of them is a magnate,” Alibaba explained. “They each own many businesses. For most companies who wish to trade in Napolia, getting membership to the union is too difficult, and they instead sign a contract to become subsidiaries to an existing member. This new owner then receives a percentage of their profits but leaves the active management to the original owner. This was, they can amass a greater fortune just by basically selling the right to use their membership.” 

“Ah, I think there used to be guys like that at the port. They’d have several boats that they’d loan out,” Sinbad recalled. His mouth twisted in a sneer. “Not that they could do it for long. Everyone ran out of money to pay them.” 

“Then that company closes and can no longer do business in Napolia. The only loss might be to the reputation of the union member who was their patron,” Alibaba said, sighing. “But Napolia is very prosperous, so there are countless other companies always looking to take their place.” 

“I don’t want to do that,” Sinbad said firmly, even without being told that it was the easy way out. 

“Mm,” Alibaba agreed. “But it’ll be hard to convince someone to recommend you for a full membership. If I had to guess, it’s something done for business partners, or old allies, or because of a very hefty bribe. You could say that you need to offer a deal so good that just making you a subsidiary would be insufficient.” 

Alibaba himself was still around in Napolia, but he was busy arranging transport to Reim for his mysterious personal business -- in between sighing about it a whole lot. He had his own troubles, it seemed. 

That was fine. Sinbad had no intention of relying on his friend to solve all his problems for him. 

For his grand dream, he would find a way himself. 

Of the trade union members, several were not individuals, but rather countries, with membership being attached to the position of the head of state and passing down to each successor -- with a certain renewal fee, of course. Partevia was naturally not among those countries, but Balbadd was. Some of the others Sinbad recognized, but some he did not and could only idly look up out of interest. 

He had no particular expectations about being able to sway the representative of an entire nation. A king would have pride far above a merchant or noble. A small company like Sindria would not have anything to offer yet. 

...Or would it? 

Wasn’t their first deal precisely with the leader of a nation? Wasn’t Sinbad himself precisely a king vessel? Even if he didn’t quite understand what that meant, it could not be a title given casually. 

He had intended to work his way up, but maybe… 

Rolling open a world map, he began to search out the nations with trade union membership, tapping lightly at each one in turn. Balbadd, Aktia, Musta’sim, Drachma in the north… None of it felt right. 

Sinbad could more or less understand what giving a recommendation meant. It was a gesture holding a strong meaning, indicating the expectation of a long-lasting, profitable partnership. Thinking about it, that was fine. Good even. His dream was to create a country that would connect the world, so building more partnerships was only natural. 

But what could he offer to sway the interest and purpose of a real king? The power of a djinn? But Sinbad didn’t want to become a weapon. A connection to Imuchakk? Perhaps the countries closest to the extreme north would have an interest, but Imuchakk had remained in isolation for many years, so the threat presented by their raiders in the past had faded, and so had interest in their nation. The promise of Sinbad and Sindria’s future triumphs? It had been what swayed Rametoto, but Sinbad didn’t know enough about other kings to guess whether they would see the same things that the national chief saw in a boy’s seemingly naive, grandiose dream. 

And yet, there had to be a path forward, Sinbad was certain. He just had to find it. 

Still turning the question of how to proceed over in his mind, Sinbad went about his daily duties -- managing the steadily decreasing stocks of Imuchakk foods. 

Since they had successfully brokered a deal with a high-class restaurant to purchase and make use of their Imuchakk faires, the food stocks would have normally been transferred to the restaurant’s own stores. However… several of those foods were being preserved using Valefor’s ice and stagnation magic, which Sinbad needed to reapply regularly. 

Rather than explain this matter and his nature as a dungeon conqueror to the owner of the restaurant, Madam Octavia, Sinbad chose to simply say they would deliver the food stocks in portions every day. Since Madam Octavia was purposefully allotting only a small amount of food every day to raise anticipation and the price of each dish, that was fine by her. 

During the day, the restaurant Octavium served some comparatively more affordable “Imuchakk-inspired” dishes using normal ingredients easily purchased from its usual suppliers, for ordinary customers who wanted to get in on the new fad. It was only in the evenings that the limited number of true Imuchakk dishes was served to the richest of Napolia’s elite. 

Thus, to ensure freshness, Sinbad brought over the day’s ingredients every afternoon. 

Slipping through Napolia’s shadowed back alleys with a box on his back, he almost felt like he was going to the market to sell fish again, the way he had years back, before even fishing became impossible in Partevia’s impoverished countryside. 

The first day he had come over, the restaurant staff hadn’t known who he was, so not only the chefs but even the busboys had ordered him around and berated him for arriving late, looking too sloppy, having a too casual attitude. The look on their faces, when the madam herself came to the kitchens to greet him and confirm the menu with him, had been priceless. 

Nowadays, the reception he received was quite different. 

“Greetings, Sir Sinbad!” the staff nearby immediately chorused, pausing in their tasks to stand and bow as he entered through the back door. 

“No need, no need. Please carry on,” Sinbad assured them quickly. 

Since he came every day, they had at least grown accustomed enough to take him at his word and carry on without much further fuss. Only the head steward -- or someone with a similar role -- hurried forward to greet him and personally direct him to deliver the ingredients to the chef. 

The Octavium was a high class restaurant, and the head chef was exceptionally skilled and dedicated to his craft. The new ingredients and recipes from Rurumu had fired up his passions, and he received each day’s delivery with great enthusiasm. 

“Many thanks to Sir Sinbad!” he exclaimed, hands moving almost in a blur to unpack everything from the cooler box. “For today’s set... this is the last of this Ice Tooth Eel, right?” 

“That’s right,” Sinbad confirmed. “Based on the schedule we discussed, starting tomorrow I’ll bring the Fluttering Rainbow Lampreys instead.” 

“Very good, very good...” the chef murmured, his attention already on the dishes to be prepared. 

As he began to bark out sharp orders to his sous chefs, Sinbad quietly retreated. 

With the day’s delivery complete, there was nothing else for him to do at the restaurant. Maybe in another few days he would ask the madam how the plan was proceeding, but there was no reason to do so yet. In any case, he knew it was going well -- when he walked around Napolia, listening to various gossip, the topic of the Octavium’s new menu often came up in excited, envious tones. The Imuchakk cuisine had successfully become the talk of the town. 

He was just about to depart when a sudden commotion made its way through the kitchen. Just like when Sinbad arrived, the staff quickly put aside what they were doing and courteously greeted a very important personage who had suddenly stepped into their busy domain -- Madam Octavia herself. 

Although she was the owner, she was a businesswoman, not a chef, and she did not frequent the kitchens to Sinbad’s knowledge. He watched with interest as she greeted the head chef. 

“We have a very important guest tonight,” she told him. “Make sure you prepare the best set of the night for the seventh floor reservation. The wine will be Qishan’s best red. Absolutely no mistakes can be allowed.” 

“Yes, Madam,” the head chef acknowledged. 

“He already came by with today’s?” Madam Octavia noted. “Send someone to catch up with him--” 

“No need, I’m here,” Sinbad spoke up. He smiled charmingly. “You have a need for me, Madam? You need only ask.” 

Having seen countless young charmers in her years among high society’s leading figures, the madam didn’t so much as bat an eye. “Young Master Sinbad,” she said cooly, “in fact, I do have a need for you. Our guest has requested to meet you, the proprietor of these exciting new goods. And I will tell you -- it is in your best interests to accept.” 

Sinbad’s expression grew serious, and he nodded once, slowly. 

Without a doubt, he had seen it just then -- the flow of destiny moving through the madam. 

It seemed the chance he had been waiting for had finally arrived. 

[stupendoustrashmagazine]

Four Poems

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Ether Call Failure Bulldozers alert the camps it’s a cleaning day. The army on foot ran along disappearing rails For paths; the mud run down in steep collapse. They use machetes: light, agile, easy to Use; it’s plays often an important social role. Government personnel shake hands, exchanges Lilies; it was said that a whole shelf sank & there weren’t, as far as was known, survivors. There remains a brightness in the flags cause To catch wind, trust its semeiotics & a sheet’s Just fine. Boats are the only way out. People stack people on their backs. Unmarked bodies, many after many after many, go on, pulse In ways unavailable to the living. Satellite verifies, a purpled Amoeba which represents the destruction of 288 villages. Watching watching so the “what” is cradled &, often, turned against Another. Archaeopteryx in the bum glum de- flared subjectivity. Extinction sounds like zinc & sun—zinc oxide effectively prevents UV burn. The surveillance data is encrypted in a locket. It’s for a special someone but leaves dying A whole history dying in bodies & wouldn’t That it may later be written, wouldn’t that have— These flourishes sweet-tongued during tragedy.

Double Sonnet The loan depot’s a long trailer fit With brick & a yellow tin aluminum roof. Inordinate trust in newly formed banks Gave way to banners, bowls of bitter rinds, Noise ordinance turned to housing gas- Light promise of pair inside pentagon, Taxes levied in multiples, oak wagons Sidgel’s with rubber, tobacco, sassafras, Pig faces, drawndried deer strips, hide. The man was forced to use oxygen tanks To make his escalator pitch, the rubric Was a ruse, anyway, he shan't be forgiven. At the trading depot the chorus splinters. Namesakes, objects, quiet markets, gore, An electric car battery, superenlarged By a 3-D printing machine, speeds beneath Interstices of highway overpass heard By bats taking in the heat of the scene. The fires dealt with, eventually, a tonic To easy fractures of sleep, stitch’d with worry About furniture, security systems, Systems with formidable letter & weather. Weapon in kitchen, weapon pillow bed, Fred Astaire calls the arboretum An Omaha Classic, prairie & pillory Glitches between tomato plants, phonics On elliptical drive, a pressure to foliage, The battery a fire of boys lost whole.

Desire the Desert Hip cords | sockets got calcium in em | baby I’m injured. Stretch the shoulder | remark continuum’s numb sum. Prism tangy!| hair loss repertoire | paid photo shoot. Quit the State Department gig in Mauritania | O Elena, what?— There’re magic markers in music | stereophonics in spirits Kindred | cupids more blue than red | more seven than six. Professional astrologists on a SoHo block | diamonds ceiling- Stuck | glue guns pressed to the gums of Indonesian children It’s a bargain bin | it’s a rigmarole | it’s a mutant molar come To take children away | buildings | laws of averages | trailing— Soft | goose | liver sandwich | empty oceanic trawl | festoon. The art cart’s for sale | the brand band configures its tracks. If in | these infirmary days | there lies | some serpent | new Then let | blockades | disintegrate | this multiplying crew.

Walking Room “e” [perpetuity icon in rainbow refrain apple neuron] Wool robe; off-white; wrap’d over a body. Dust, cloak’d figures, shops, Stands. Sign—NO GNATS, PLZ—back & forth incomplete audio disturbs— as stone does water’s surface tension— medium required for it being it. The wharf work far from done; the war in a state of income. Pliés data, perm manhunt aunt?— Ferry’d Enkidu, open courseware data: ”apocalyptic cyprus” in a jar. Glas refracts, trans- mutes & replies with a specter; specter is on special, comes with no .location data-boost package. Car sin car son No ma, nomae, no men... Memorialization Way©☠ Disappearances celebré sates senses’ Sorry needs. It’s a generative startup whose value increases with each amnesia. Social units form groups, the plastic parameters of which burst. [broken link] The museum tactile, crumbs, kids, glass, Things on screens things incased with glow; with aura. Insecurities abound. [Curator: Brutality in the collection… [Museum Outreach Rep: Gotta get smiles on the faces of our patrons after the “Slavery, Genocide, & the America’s Hope” exhibit.) You ain’t shit Siyanda used to say to me. Good thing we’re not friends anymore. So few in the prairie; miss the south south loves. The moon drops a scythe onto fallen canopy network, utility lines mix’d with Gary oak & Doug firs, splitting off Looking a corridor of heads- Up pennies to paddle through— in a valley then. Loss fabricated for marketplace— NOW WITH FREE INSULIN PUMP + DIABETES ZIP.DRIVE! Passing playpen Little Tik_s Pathogens, pandemic COMING TO YOU SOON, old roman. Figueora to pull a chain from uvula untrain’d singer this user “laryngeal something or other” tries to sing sliver of silver, algal XY galaxy, deletes. The warp’d reflection in stainless foldable legs of kitchen tables. ‘Fata. Oblit- eration fetches origin—oubliette. —Weeping in evening. P-trap repair, cradle the toilet-seat, polarities Kissing near a fountain in Philadelphia Dive to reef’s bottom, see lemon sharks. Park car. Hardwood floors – maple? – I own seventy properties in – kitchen floor sags, the hill – it’ll go quick - lucky to’ve passed on a rental. Yoga studios, old fun in the Oldsmobile, in Sherlock’s Ford A DdoS attack. Drifting toward death is death of a subject. The unbearable present is birth. From then on, recovery is a cybernetic venture, a necrophilic urge to simulate the birth of loss. Returning to anything estranges user from the familiar. The lives of others offer a chance to strike; to ask if the state should face execution. If dying should contain a direction; if weapons are necessary.