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#ed deserves the fucking world
natjennie · 2 years
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when ed meets mary and doug and alma and louis it's OVER for me
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arsenicflame · 3 months
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why does it feel like the only options anymore are babygirl ed teach into oblivion and pretend like he never did anything bad, or make him the worst person on the fucking planet and incapable of doing anything to earn any forgiveness (not that he even tries)
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wadinginthevelvet · 11 months
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sorry but I love the Izzy “dangling my legs over the side of the ship” scene because like. he’s literally right. it DOES serve him right.
Ed was deeply heartbroken but coping healthily until Izzy got in his head & made him feel like all he deserved was destruction. Ed TRUSTED Izzy, and this person who he felt knew him & saw him & cared about him essentially confirming in his view that he doesn’t deserve good things and only has worth as a monster— that being soft was worse for him than being dead— made him feel that he truly was unloveable and shoved him over the edge into the Kraken persona. plus Izzy ASKED him to be violent! he grinned when he cut off his toe! the beginning of s2 is Izzy realizing that a. Ed is not actually happy as Blackbeard and is in fact destroying himself and b. Izzy himself has grown to care for this crew in a way he didn’t realize he had and maybe actually has some human empathy. and doesn’t want them to be brutalized. which I honestly don’t think he had a handle on before it was too late & he’d already set them up for this level of violence. and also clearly he did NOT know Ed in the way he thought he did! he didn’t realize he cared about the crew like that, but he also didn’t think Kraken-Ed would be that intense. he thought that horrible pep talk was what Ed needed to get back to being pre-Stede Blackbeard, not realizing that pre-Stede Blackbeard was a facade Ed was already deeply unhappy and insecure underneath, but also failing to comprehend (or even notice) the extent of Ed’s trauma and lack of self-worth and the fairly obvious (to anyone who actually knew or understood Ed) fact that telling him those things would shatter his very fragile belief that he deserved these tenuous but brave attempts at taking care of himself and trying to become who he wanted to be. Kraken-Ed was not who Izzy thought he would trigger when he gave him the talk, because he didn’t actually know or understand him like he thought he did. & that’s what he’s coming to terms with in s2 and it is a wonderful arc! lots of people have written fantastic metas about Izzy & his motivations and the complexity of his realization that he didn’t know Ed like he though he did & wasn’t close to him like he thought he was so I won’t bother to fully go into that here as interesting as it is. but like.. he asked for violence & he got it. he didn’t have a good handle on his own feelings about the crew/piracy and he evidently had zero handle on Ed’s (he is masterful at suppression but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be able to tell Ed is too), and while yeah it was Ed’s trauma and whole brutal career as a pirate and this glimpse at a different future and Stede’s betrayal all coming together to cause Ed’s eventual breakdown, Izzy’s talk is what made him give up and pushed him overboard into the Kraken era. he convinced him he was worthless if he wasn’t a monster, & in doing so unleashed that monster onto himself and the crew. he taunted the shark and lost a leg. I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about him framing it like that— he isn’t suppressing his feelings about it or pretending it didn’t happen— he’s just processing & accepting the truth of the matter. when Lucius says Blackbeard cut off his leg and Izzy says “a shark did this”, he’s acknowledging it wasn’t really Ed who shot him, but a violent, hopeless, actively suicidal caricature of Blackbeard, a monster Izzy helped create. Izzy isn’t Ed’s victim— they’re an eye for an eye now. and I’m glad he acknowledged it like that
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I’m watching Sex Education and I think I just need everyone to know that Aimee is a total fucking sweetheart and I love her with my entire soul, she deserves everything good and lovely and her angry moments are so fucking cathartic to me and I love her so so so so so much oh my god
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clickntreat · 1 year
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Very cool and fun that my body responds to the worst emotional pain ever inflicted on me by compounding it with uncontrollable trembling and migraines and nausea to the point of being unable to eat... further compounding the migraines and shaking and adding exhaustion, further disrupting my ability to emotionally regulate...
Very poor design, 0/10
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lokigodofsex · 2 years
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Stede calling Ed sweetheart in Hell or High Water makes me fiavzndbajcbsgshs
I genuinely worry for my well-being if he would call him that in the series. I think my head would spontaneously combust
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oh sex ed s4 is making me feel a whole lotta ways ... i am sobbing
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userastarion · 1 year
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jason mraz writes songs about love and fun and humanity and he is the gentlest dude with the only allowable fedora style and he is severely underrated as a person and a musician
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verstarppen · 1 year
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omfg i love your fics they’re so funny 😭😭 i had an idea for a max fic that i think you would do so well 🫶 so like she’s his teammate and she has a bf (no idea who but prob another athlete or something since they tend to kinda be fboys 👀 but not another driver please because those dynamics make me cringe in second hand embarrassment 🙏) then he like cheats on her publicly, but she decides to live in idgafistan and max helps her make her ex jealous 😝 but he’s like actually been into her for a really long time and everyone ships them and stuff and then he bags her with his irresistible chronically offline awkward white boy rizz 💋
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summary; cheaters deserve to get cheated out of their career, or at least that's how max justifies destroying your ex's life
pairing; max verstappen x fem! red bull driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]
warnings; suggestive language, swearing
a/n; DISCLAIMER the boyfriend is made up and also a sims 2 reference, if by chance there is a real tennis player by the name of Dominic Lothario im so sorry sir this was not written with you in mind ALSO this is my VERY sneaky way of telling everyone my favorite song is trophäe by paula carolina so naturally i had to shove the word trophy everywhere to justify using lyrics as the title I HOPE I DID YOUR PROMPT JUSTICE also i skipped over singapore because we don't talk about singapore
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liked by ynln7, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 2,104,962 others
maxverstappen1 The only time I've cheated.
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feeltheorange WHAT DID HE SAYYYY
meepshoemaker the double take i just did cracked my neck
yukinator22 NAHHHHHHHHH
albogeant BRO DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HER TIME TO RECOVER LMAOOOOOOOO
ynln7 everyone has permission to laugh i came up with the caption
pierregasly Thank god charles_leclerc I'm going to hell I laughed before I saw your comment pierregasly Me too ynln7 assholes (affectionately)
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liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 4,592,577 others
ynln7 anyway
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christianhorner This is not the team bonding I was talking about
charles_leclerc Shut up, some of us have waited years for this pierregasly Seconded danielricciardo Third...ed?
simplyclerc LET HIM COOK
lionkingseb max verstapprizz
mcmango he saw an opportunity and he took it
redbullpapaya i manifested this with magic beyond the human comprehension
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liked by maxverstappen1, ynln7, christianhorner and 2,102,094 others
redbullracing An immaculate performance today from @ maxvestappen1 and @ ynln7 that’s a 6th Constructors’ Championship for the team!! 🏆 CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD CHAMPIONS!!
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super_max they know they ate
staraikkonen the blueprint for all powercouples
shadownorris LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO
angelricciardo talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference
dominic_lothario 👎
redbullracing Shouldn't you be looking for a job? What are you doing in our comments.
kirbyvettel MAXY/N SWEEP
maxverstappen1 The trophy is not my only win this week @ ynln7
ynln7 ok now let me pass you maxverstappen1 No 🧡 You're pretty in p2
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 693,420 others
ynln7 celebrating the win the RIGHT way (playing f1 2023)
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easportsf1 Amen
ynln7 LMAO
maxverstappen1 I let you win
ynln7 bruised ego alert
christianhorner Such a RESPONSIBLE team, aren't we?
orangleclerc THE T-SHIRT
strawberryrosberg Did they turn down the afterparty invite for this because mad respect
charles_leclerc Tell me your record, I'll beat it
ynln7 in your dreams, leclerc maxverstappen1 Beat us in real life first charles_leclerc First of all.
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pic credits: instagram and pinterest
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cahootings · 5 months
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Man shoutout to Stede fucking Bonnet I am so proud of him. Going from having to ask his wife what being in love feels like, to writing the most earnest and saccharine love letters in bottles. Every day. “I long for you.” “Intertwined.” “We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.” Kissing them before throwing them into the sea. Every day. He became the world’s biggest romantic dreamboat and he is exactly what Ed “I’m afraid I’m unlovable” Teach deserves. The classic Stede move of “I don’t know how to do this, but once I learn how to do it my own way, I’m going to completely reinvent what it means and it’s going to change lives for the better”
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ghostlyfleur · 6 months
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𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥
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eddie munson x shy!oc
contents: anxiety, curse words, friends to lovers. lovesick!eddie, inexperienced!reader, self-consciousness, first kiss, sharing clothes. eddie’s jacket is oversized on reader. can be read as x reader, but a bit oc too? carnival date.
word count: ~1.5k
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eddie munson is in love.
she is entirely inexperienced in anything romantic or sexual; no first kiss, never even got close to it. extremely shy and anxious, has a seemingly innocent aura, is a bit out of sorts, ditzy, with a sort of luna lovegood vibe. doesn’t argue with people, always tears up if confronted about anything, doesn’t have beef with anyone and is a lot more rational than emotional even though she tears up so easily. also doesn’t hold grudges or care what people think of her…
the thing is, she has been introverted her whole life, a very anxious person, and so doesn’t understand that eddie munson likes her because she needs to be told how people feel about her very explicitly otherwise her mind will convince her they hate her. anxiety is like that. and she’s the kind of person that has a hard time realizing that people can perceive their existence and have feelings for them, no matter what type of feelings, so even though eddie is not at all shy about flirting with her and giving her all of the attention in the world in his over-the-top, overdramatic way, he also knows that if anything other than the friendship he’s thankfully managed to build with her is going to happen, romantic-wise, that she has to be the one to initiate it— but she’s oblivious!
on the other hand though, she doesn’t even bother hiding her infatuation with eddie — it’s a lot more than infatuation by now. she’s always looking at him with stars in her eyes and laughs at his jokes and smiles that big, square, goofy smile whenever they lock eyes and constantly praises him because he deserves to feel as special as he is, right? and she goes into detailed talks about lord of the rings with him, likes many of the same bands he does or simply lets him play his favorites for her, and she truly loves to watch hellfire play dungeons & dragons.
her eds even made her a special edition pink hellfire shirt. ‘cause he’s a simp.
one day, as she’s out with chrissy and heather outside a diner, talking and laughing and catching up, eddie is close by somewhere with friends. his van is parked nearby.
it starts getting chilly, and eddie’s girl starts shivering, so she quickly excused herself away from the girls, “gimme a second!” and reaches through the open window of eddie’s van, making a mental note to grill him about it later — “‘cause it isn’t safe, eds!” — to grab his leather jacket thinking of how he has told her over and over that she can borrow it, that “what’s mine is yours, sweets. i don’t mind sharing if it’s with you”, so she figures it’s okay, right? and goes back to the girls who are fucking smirking like they see something she doesn’t.
it’s about fifteen minutes later, and eddie is walking towards the trio, simply because he misses his girl and wants a hug, when he sees it.
she’s wearing his jacket. his jacket.
in typical eddie fashion, he makes a scene— gasping dramatically, he clutches his chest over his heart and falls to his knees, because fuck what anyone around thinks. his precious girl is wearing his fucking jacket! and she looks like a fucking angel.
“eds, what are you doin’?”
“do you know how heavenly you look in my jacket? i just had to get on my knees to worship you.”
the boy shuffles closer to his sweet girl on his knees still while he talks and she’s flustered, okay? she’s shy and her face is on fire and she’s covering her cheeks and giggling. and because it’s eddie, her eddie, she’s not running away to have a panic attack. ‘cause it’s eddie and he’s being sweet, so she can’t focus on anyone else long enough to feel crippling anxiety or embarrassment. doesn’t even care that chrissy is cooing and heather is smirking.
“that jacket is yours now, you own it. you pretty much own me by now.” eddie says, on his knees, in front of her
“it’s okay that i took it right?” she makes sure even after his display of joy, ‘cause anxiety isn’t rational “you said i—”
her eddie knows her, though. he stands up, gets real fucking close to her, so close they’re almost touching, with this look of absolute adoration and “i’d give ya everything i have if i could, pretty.”
fast forward a few days later. chrissy kept yapping on and on to the oblivious girl about how “in love” eddie is, but it’s as though her brain won’t let her even entertain the idea.
that’s until she’s having a semi-regular quote unquote friend-date with eddie, something they’ve done quite a few times before, and this time they go to the fair. they’re doing everything couples might do, eddie is very aware of this, and he’s over the moon to just be enjoying quality time with his pretty girl until she spots a photobooth, “oh, eds! we have to!” and eddie’s desperately counting coins to pay. the pictures go a little something like this:
after coming up blank with pose ideas, they just look at each other and laugh, but at the sound of his free and bright laugh, she just stares at her boy like he’s a dream come true— first pic is taken, looking at eddie like he hung the moon while he’s mid-laugh.
eddie notices her staring and goes from loud laughs to breathless ones, a smile on his lips, and whispers a soft “what?”— second picture is taken as the girl quickly presses her lips to his, her very first kiss, and it’s caught on camera.
the third picture depicts eddie’s sweet girl nervously rambling “i was going to ask for permission first, i promise!” while eddie has a glassy, dreamy look on his face, slack jawed, looking at her lips.
and at the fourth snap? eddie presses forward to shut her up with another impossibly soft and tender kiss, both of their eyes are closed and his hand is holding her jaw, thumb brushing her cheek.
after they part from the second kiss, eddie acknowledges that it was her first kiss, a shy “was that okay?” to which his sweetheart just smiles really big and nods excitedly over and over with a breathless giggle. that was the perfect first and second kiss and she couldn’t ask for more.
they hold hands the rest of the night.
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etherealspacejelly · 11 months
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Some of my opinions, in no particular order
golf courses should be abolished. mini golf can stay. actual golf? no. golf courses take up so much water to maintain their grass, grass which, btw, is a monoculture and bad for wildlife. the area that golf courses take up could be used for affordable housing, or natural areas left to grow with wild native plants that are better for the insect populations. but nooo, we gotta use all this land so that stuck up rich people can play the most boring game ever invented. bullshit.
the police should be abolished. i would settle for defunding but really they just need to go.
children are people, treat them as such. kids have thoughts and feelings that are just as real and valid as yours.
on a similar vein, you are allowed to not want children, but that doesn't give you a free pass to hate kids or be mean to kids. they didnt ask to be here, be kind.
there should be a maximum wage. after a certain point, there is no amount of labour you could possibly do to Earn that much money. your workers earned that money, and you are stealing it from them.
there is a difference between millionaires and billionaires. when i say eat the rich im not talking about actors and musicians, im talking about people who are directly responsible for poverty, hunger, suffering, and homelessness around the world. people who hoard obscene amounts of wealth that No One could ever hope to spend in an entire lifetime and simply watch while minimum wage workers struggle to put food on the table and the elderly freeze in their homes.
sex ed should start in primary school, at an age-appropriate level. if kids are old enough to ask questions about sex, they are old enough to learn about it in a safe environment. they should be taught correct anatomical names for body parts (penis, vulva, vagina, etc.).
there should be more research into autism and ADHD in adults, this shit doesn't just go away when you grow up.
diagnostic criteria for disabilities, disorders, and mental health conditions should be written by people who have or have had these conditions. how is someone supposed to know if they have autism, for example, if the symptoms are written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it?? doesn't make any fucking sense.
hostile architecture should be illegal. unhoused people deserve a place to sleep. or better yet, give them houses. there are literal studies done that prove that housing people saves the government money in the long run, so why aren't we doing that? make it make sense
edit: updated to add more clarity to the golf thing. didn't explain that one well enough and left some people confused
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Being fat, actually fat, with an eating disorder is fucking hell.
People assume you have BED, and if you actually do have BED people are so gross about it. If you have a restricting disorder people get concerned when you start eating more. People get concerned if you start to like yourself. People love to see you fucking miserable, and will completely ignore your misery in the same breath. It makes them feel good. They benefit at your expense through weight stigma.
So many physicians prescribe disordered eating to us. ED specialists in many places won’t even consider how EDs affect us. Our own community uses our bodies as inspiration to hurt themselves. Because nothing could be worse than looking like us, right? How are you supposed to love yourself when so many people actively don’t want you to?
To the fat person reading who needs to hear this, I give a shit if you recover. I give a shit that you are hurting. So many people don’t notice, so many don’t give a fuck, but I do. You deserve better. I want you to eat even if it means you gain weight. I want you to be happy in your body as it is. I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel seen.
If you are fat with BED, I see you. There is so much stigma and it is not your fault. Your weight isn’t “your fault”, you are sick. It’s not a moral failing. You deserve compassion, and the extent to which people project their own issues onto you is awful. You deserve to be comfortable in your skin, and your body is wonderful.
If you are fat with purging tendencies, or with restricting ones I see you too. We get praised for hurting ourselves, or no one notices. I see you. I’m sorry.
I wish so badly the world were more compassionate to you, but if no one else gives a shit, I do. Fight for recovery for me, even though I know that journey can be so, so lonely when you aren’t thin.
To those of you who have recovered, to those of you that may. You are worth it. You may be fat for the rest of your life, and that’s okay. It’s wonderful, your body is wonderful, and I see you and I’m proud of you. Sadly I know many of us recover alone, but I hope you know you aren’t. I’m rooting for you.
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blushweddinggowns · 9 months
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 “So let me get this straight. You met a hot guy, conned him into a date with you, lied about who you were to get into his pants and still failed. Then kept going, bought a new phone and rented a fake apartment, fell in love him, continued this elaborate ruse for four months, and now you want me to figure out a way for you to get out of it?”
“...yes?”
“Oh my fucking god,” Chrissy nearly screeched into his ear, “That is what you have been doing? Have you lost your damn mind?!”
“Obviously, yes!” Eddie yelled right back, feeling fraught as hell. He was pacing back and forth, a cigarette in hand as he spoke, “I never planned on ending up here!”
“Really? Because this whole shit show seemed to need a lot of planning. Is this really what happens when I leave you unsupervised? I am never letting you out of the house again.”
Eddie was well aware he deserved the ribbing. He deserved much worse, but that didn’t change the fact that he was desperate, “Chris, I’m serious. I need help.”
“Eddie, I love you but come on. You need a plane ticket and an apology muffin basket and to move on. This guy doesn’t even know you.”
“It’s not like that,” Eddie said as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “It’s-okay. I’m still me with him. It’s like…I’m acting like who I would have been if I was never famous. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“Have you tried delusional? Also, can I get a picture of this guy? How hot can one dude be to drive you-”
“I’m serious,” Eddie interupted, irritation coloring his voice, “I told him everything. The shit about my parents, Wayne, the drugs, you, everything.”
“You realize that everything would include your real name right? And again, a picture for the love of god would really help put this in perspective-”
“You know what I mean,” Eddie sighed. She still wasn’t getting it, “I’m in love with him. Like Chris, he was made for me. And if I had just stuck to tattooing instead of doing the music shit then I’m pretty sure he’d think the same of me.”
He could hear a small intake of breath on her end, her voice coming out a bit more concerned than before, “Eds, are you serious?”
“Dead. I… I think he’s the one,” No, that was another lie. Eddie took a deep breathe before admitting the truth, “He is the one. And… I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.”
“Honey, it’s an infatuation. A really, really strong one, but still-”
“Chrissy. Listen to me. I want to marry him. Do you understand me now?”
If that didn’t get through to her nothing else would. Because Chrissy Cunningham had spent hours upon hours of listening to Eddie complain about the institution of marriage since fucking highschool. How it was all a farce, just some bullshit people pulled for tax reasons and patriarchal idealism. And now here he was, fucking day dreaming about the perfect happily ever after with the love of his life. 
“Oh Jesus,” Chrissy groaned, the sineritcy Eddie was looking for finally creeping into her voice, “Sweetie, I’m so sorry… but I think you might have fucked yourself too big on this one.”
“Isn’t there something I can do?” Eddie pleaded into the phone, like Chrissy actually had all the power in the world to fix this, “What if I just lead a double life? Couldn’t that work?” 
He had seen a movie about that once or twice. It was a thing. Or if it wasn’t then he could make it one.
But Chrissy didn’t seem too convinced, “Eddie, honey, you’re describing the plot of Hannah Montana like it can actually be a solution. Do you realize how insane that is? Do you not get how far you’ve fallen?”
from the next chapter of this fic
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forpiratereasons · 11 months
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all right. i'm ready to talk about izzy.
izzy is a great character. in s1 he sits in this great position as an antagonist that's close to the main characters, and in s2 he sits in this great position as an antagonist who's gotten everything he wanted, and found that actually - fuck! - that's not it at all. the world changes enough in s1 that there's no satisfaction in izzy getting what he wants out of blackbeard. and it's not just ed that's changed, it's not just the crew, izzy himself is fundamentally changed too. even before s2, and that change continues to grow and flourish through the series.
in reality, death is cruel. and death is senseless. and death is unfair, and shitty, and it happens to the wrong people at the wrong time, too early, with too much to live for, who mean too much to too many. it happens.
maybe izzy's death is all of those things, but i don't think that's the point. it's not meant as a lesson in mortality; it's not meant as retribution for past crimes; it's not meant as a commentary on who deserves to live and who deserves to die. it's not about deserving. if anything, it's about the fact that deserving doesn't come into it at all.
the point is that izzy healed.
a lot has been made of the fact that izzy is the only character who bears visible scars from the kraken era - the scar on his head, as well as the leg. but i don't think they're meant as a reminder of the injury, or as a sign that izzy is "damaged" post-kraken era. they're representative of the fact that izzy healed. the scar is there to remind you that izzy survived. you see it heal over multiple episodes because that's the work izzy is doing - he's healing from blackbeard's actions, from his own actions, from his history, from his constraints.
it's not too late to heal. it's not too late to find your place. it's not too late to come out. it's not too late to let people in. it's not too late.
and all those things are worth doing despite the fact that our time here is limited. we are all going to die. but we are here right now, which means it's not too late, and it is worth it to free ourselves to be who we need to be regardless of who we have been and who we are now and what time we might have left.
izzy isn't suicidal in ep 8. he's healed from that. izzy isn't abused or depressed or alone in ep 8. izzy is strong, and competent, and respected, and loved.
and some folks have been disappointed it's not romantic love. i get that. but i think it's super important too that izzy's healing is worth it without romantic love. familial, platonic love is so fundamentally important to the queer community. found family. friends. solidarity. the look when some stranger sees you and you see them and you both know the other is family, that they're safe. the way we fight for each other - for our rights to love who we want, fuck who we want, to marry, to adopt kids, and also for housing, for jobs, for healthcare. for our rights to use the bathroom, for our rights to choose our own names and our own bodies and our own families. we're fighting for our right to exist and that, guys, it's not romantic. the foundations of our community is about - well, i'll let izzy say it:
it's not about glory, it's not about getting what you want. it's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothing. it's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. it's about letting go of ego for something larger. the crew.
ed and izzy, following s2e3, interact and communicate on izzy's terms, and that's made clear. that's the last relationship for izzy to heal. when izzy finally approaches ed in ep 6, it's - not great. it's a start. you gotta start somewhere. he lets ed apologize, in their very closed, guilty way of speaking to each other, but then goes back to the crew, back to his safety.
he finally finishes his healing arc with the drag performance and la vie en rose, and then he and ed DO have good moments. he teases ed about stede. he directly reverses his previous actions in s1 and tells ed to listen to his good feelings. that's where djenks is getting this (imo, still a bit weird) father-figure business. the scene in the republic where ed's watching fishermen and izzy comes to say hey, it's all right, hey, listen to your gut. they don't need to directly come out and have some deep serious conversation about their relationship because that's just not like them, man. they're doing their healing their way. i think it would be nonsensical to expect these two to be open and honest with each other regardless of how they are with everyone else because their relationship is not like their relationships with anyone else.
until they run out of time.
and this, i think, is important. izzy controls this last conversation because it's what ed needs to hear, because izzy no longer needs to hear it. izzy doesn't need to hear that ed's sorry, izzy knows ed's fucking sorry. ed's whole arc this season is about the guilt he's carrying. izzy says what he says because he knows ed needs to hear it. ed, you weren't a monster all on your own. ed, i saw you. i saw you outgrowing him, and i didn't want that to happen because i was worried about what it meant for me, but i see now that it could have meant this all along - family. balance. something to die for, sure, but something to live for.
you could argue that ed and the crew don't think of each other as family. i think it's a bit more complicated than a yes or no on that one, but when izzy says, ed, you're surrounded by family, maybe it doesn't matter whether that's fact. maybe it's a statement of possibility. look at this family who can love you if you let them. look at this family who will forgive you even when you don't deserve it. look at all the ways you can still heal. look at how worth it it all is.
just be ed, izzy says, there he is.
he says it to ed because izzy already knows he can be just izzy. izzy already knows he's dying surrounded by family. izzy already knows that love and belonging and family are worth it, and he uses his dying moments to make sure ed knows it too because despite everything, despite everything he did and despite everything ed did and despite not being ed's romantic choice, he loves ed. it's worth it to use his dying moment to make sure ed knows this because izzy loves him.
it's worth it.
izzy is the stand-in for the stereotypical pirate, the villain - the representative of how repression and oppression work together, of how race and class and colonization interact with each other, of the lines between love and obsession and power and rage and fear blurring beyond recognition - and he heals. guys, the point of his story is not that he was all those things and paid that price. the point of his story is that he could grow beyond all those things and that growth and healing was all worth it despite the fact that yeah. our lives will inevitably end.
historically, israel hands is said to be one of the only major pirates who survives the golden age of piracy, and he doesn't survive it well - according to the contemporary account of "captain charles johnson" (almost certainly a pseudonym) in A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the most notorious Pyrates, published 1724, hands dies a beggar in london sometime between 1719 and 1724. it has been suggested by some pirate scholars that hands may have actually been the source for much of the information johnson is able to relay regarding blackbeard - and that johnson's apparent wealth of information contributed significantly to the legacy blackbeard left behind and his lasting fame. i had actually really hoped to see this play out in ofmd - izzy protecting ed and stede through perpetuating stories about blackbeard's 'death' (fake, i'd hoped) and legacy.
but i think - he is. in his way. he's there on the hillside, keeping watch. he's there to hold all the stories and all the memories of pirates and what it meant to belong to something, even as the golden age of piracy sets. he's there to show what it is to love and to be loved in return: eternal.
i don't like that izzy died. i think he's a great character, i think he's great fun to have in the ensemble, i think his dynamics with ed and stede are so fucking chewy and delicious. i think con o'neill has done the work of a lifetime on this character and, i hope, had and continue to has the experience of a lifetime with this fandom. my heart goes out to those of you who are devastated; i've been there in past fandoms, i know how achingly difficult that is. i'm so sorry.
but izzy's story is worth telling. izzy's story is worth celebrating. izzy is about making mistakes - bad mistakes! - and finding your way back to something better. izzy is about healing, and about community, and about hope that even when things are shit and people are shit - they can change. things can change.
and maybe - yeah. it's about the role stories play in our lives. about using fictional little scenarios to deal with our traumas. we're here. we're alive. we're coping. we will heal.
not moving on is worse.
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jaebeomsbitch · 1 year
Text
Best Friend's Kisses (E.M.)
Summary: After seventeen long years of friendship Eddie decides to fulfill a ten year old promise. Something whispered in the middle of the night. He gives you the best gift of all.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem! reader, really only mentioned like two or three times
Mid-twenties Eddie and reader. Mechanic! Eddie
Warning: Slight smut at the end, talks of insecurity, making out, flirting, swearing, and melancholy reader. MINORS DNI!
AN: This is only my third fic on here. I'm still trying to understand the formatting.
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Eddie Munson had been your friend since you met him on the playground in third grade. He had defended you against some asshole kid who tried to take away your toy. Pushed him to the ground and yelled at him, you’d been inseparable since then. You saw each other through the awkward phases of becoming teenagers, watched him struggle through high school, and then eventually graduate.
Now you were both in your mid twenties, still having movie nights at the Munson’s every Friday after your shift at the record shop. You had a chance to leave, to go to college in New York but you turned it down. Not that you told Eddie, you didn’t want him to feel guilty. Truthfully you did stay for him, afraid that he might break without you but, did he really need you?
Eddie was an incredible sweetheart, making friends left and right with whoever would listen to him. It seemed like anyone that had a chance to really talk to him could see beyond the rumor around him. He was surrounded by people who loved him. Sometimes you regret staying, maybe you could’ve become something. Maybe you could’ve gotten a good degree, move your parents out of this shitty town but you were afraid.
The truth being you use Eddie as a crutch, you always had. Hiding behind him, gripping onto the back of his shirt as he yelled at another person for you, cleaning him up after he fought with a guy for groping you, Eddie was your protector in a sense. So you stay, stay in the shitty down you despise, wallow in self pity for being a fucking coward like you always are, and spending your days drinking or getting high with Eddie and his friends.
Today was a special day, Eddie had gotten a job at a mechanic shop. He always said that when he got his first paycheck he’d buy you something really special. He’d jump around from job to job until he found Earl. Earl was the only person who truly gave Eddie a chance.
“Honey, I’m home,” He jokes, walking into the trailer. Already expecting you to be lying on his bed when he comes home like you always are. He walks in shoulders hunched, face covered in grease stains, and hair knotted. “Gonna take a shower, then’ll be back. Got something exciting for you sweetheart,” He smiles, grabbing the pile of clothes you left on the foot of his bed ready for him. “Toodaloo,” he wags his fingers behind him as he exits the room.
Oh god what did he get you? Eddie had a reputation for going overboard, always saying he had to spoil his ‘princess’ because you were his longest friend. Always rambling about how you deserved the world for sticking by his side. Steve and Robin like to tease him, poking fun at your friendship. Always whispering, “you’ve never thought ‘bout it?” with their questioning gazes. It didn’t matter what either of you said, they never believed you. They could see the way the tips of your ears turned red or the way Eddie silently threatened Steve.
“I feel so much better,” He sighs, throwing himself next to you. He cuddles into the pillow, throwing the sheets over himself. “You forgetting something?” You laugh.
“Oh shit, sorry. M’tired,” He mumbles, eyes open wide. “Just go to sleep, Eds. You can give me whatever it is tomorrow,” You whisper. Trying to lull him back to sleep as you massage his scalp. “No, been waiting forever,” He murmurs, eyes blinking slowly. He must’ve been really tired for him to forget dinner. Eddie was never one to skip meals, always saying they were his favorite part of his day. You watch him sleep, he looks so peaceful with his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted. It isn’t until you hear the phone ring that you move your hand from his curls.
“Hello?” You whisper trying not to wake him up. “Oh hey! I was expecting Eddie,” Steve says on the line. “He got home and fell asleep immediately, I was just about to make dinner. What’s up?” You ask.
“You sound so domestic, like a housewife,” Steve chuckles.
“Yeah, yeah. Hardy har har.” You roll your eyes leaning against the wall.
“H-has he given you the present yet?” He asks out of nowhere.
“No, he just said he had something for me then fell asleep two seconds later. I don’t know what he did today but he skipped lunch. You know how unusual that is for him,” you say slightly concerned.
“It’s just… he loves you a lot you know?” Steve says, his voice sounding a little weird.
“Yeah and I love him too,” You reply quickly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Just… keep that in mind, I’ll see you tomorrow,” He says.
“What wh-” He hangs up. What the fuck was that about? Of course you’d see Steve and the gang tomorrow, it was your weekly get together with the adults of the group but this felt weird. It almost felt like something monumental was supposed to happen today.
You try to shake away the feeling, looking through the fridge to see what they have. Cheese and tortillas, the ones you brought from home because you ‘accidentally’ bought two packs. You make quesadillas like you’ve made all your childhood, they were quick to make and easy for Eddie to eat while he’s half asleep. He had this miraculous way of waking up, eating, and forgetting that he even ate when he woke up.
“Eds… Teddie,” you whisper, gently shaking his shoulder until he groans. He gained the nickname after a long night of calling each other annoying nicknames, you saw your childhood teddy bear and instantly thought of Eddie. Just like it, he brought you comfort and he was also the person to give it to you. Claimed he won it in a claw machine for twenty five cents but you knew he had saved his money for weeks to buy it for you. You'd seen it at the store when your mom dragged you shopping for your sister's new clothes.
“I know, I know, baby. Just eat and you can go back to sleep okay,” You whisper, sitting on the ledge of the bed next to him. He slowly blinks, turning toward you as he scratches his neck languidly.
“Come on, eat,” You show him the plate but he still blinks at you not understanding. So you feed him like a sick child, watching as he takes little bites and tilting his head forward when he needs a drink. “Go back to sleep,” You whisper, kissing him on the forehead as his eyes close again.
Steve was right, it all felt entirely domestic. You’d never treat him, Robin, or any of your other friends like this but Eddie, he was special. Your heart clenches at the idea, always longing for Eddie in a way you know is not possible. Always afraid you’d ruin your seventeen years of friendship, afraid you’d lose the one person who made you feel comfortable. You’d always cuddled with him, he was overly touchy with you to the point that everyone thought you were together. You were always off limits to the other guys in Hawkins, only ever catching the eye of passersby. You fall asleep, thinking about all the should haves and could haves.
The sun filters through the small crack in the curtains hitting you straight in the face. You look around the room, remembering you fell asleep next to Eddie. His arm is around your waist, head buried in your neck, hair tickling your nose. You try to stretch as much as you can while being basically pinned down by Eddie.
“Ten more minutes,” he mumbles, pulling you closer.
“You slept for sixteen hours already,” you snort.
“Not enough,” He nuzzles into your neck.
“You gotta stop that or I’m gonna piss myself,” You say, trying to pry his arm off of you.
“Do it, you wouldn’t dare,” He challenges.
“No I wouldn’t but seriously, I gotta go!” you say more urgently.
“Fine, but you jump right back in bed the minute you finish,” He bargains.
“It’s almost one o’clock, I am not staying in bed,” You protest, still pulling at his arm.
“Either way you still owe me a present,” You say.
“Oh shit, I forgot,” He says, finally letting you go. You run to the bathroom to take care of yourself, peeing and brushing your teeth. You’d had a toothbrush right next to Eddie’s since your first sleepover, he always took charge of changing it out every couple of months.
“So what’s the plan for today?” You ask, rummaging through his closet.
“Eat, present, meet Robin and Nance and 'em,” He says, standing up from the bed to join you. He picks up a pair of black jeans, his favorite because “they fit him the best and they make his ass look good,” according to Eddie. It was warm out, you could already tell by the heat in the trailer so he picks out a cutoff tee that shows off the sides of his ribs if he moves a certain way. He didn’t know this was your favorite shirt of his. He always looked so fucking hot with it on, his tattoos peaking through the side, his midriff exposed at the corner of your eye. Well if he was going to play that game you needed a better outfit, no band tee for you.
You search through your overnight bag for the black lacy cami top that usually leaves him speechless and a pair of shorts. He looks at the outfit in your hand and gulps.
“Great, I’m starving,” You wink at him as you walk by. What the fuck were you doing? What has gotten into you? He might’ve just been thirsty or something. There was no guarantee he even noticed what you grabbed or even cared. When you come out dressed you hear Wayne’s voice to the right of you talking to Eddie about his job.
“Good…afternoon!” You greet them.
“Finally decided to wake up I see,” Wayne says, eyebrow raised. He wasn’t judging you, he liked to tease but he knew how hard Eddie and you worked. He always treated you like a dad, more than your own father. He was protective and caring in his own way.
“Blame Teddie,” You nudge Eds in the ribs.
“You know I need my beauty rest,” He says, flicking his hair.
“Maybe you need to sleep longer,” Wayne’s eyes light up, teasing Eddie.
“Some sleep would do you good,” Eddie says, tone more serious. Wayne had been picking up more shifts lately, you had hardly seen him the last three weeks.
“I’m already as pretty as I’ll get,” Wayne grumbles, not liking Eddie’s concern.
“Weren’t y’all ‘bout to get food, c’mon get,” Wayne pushes you both out, slamming the door behind you two.
“He really is overworking himself,” You sigh as you climb into Eddie’s van.
“I know, that’s why I’ve been taking longer hours at the shop. Just want to take some burden off the old man,” He says, eyes focused on the road. You both sit in silence on the drive to Benny’s, thinking about how stuck you felt.
You wanted to help Wayne in any way you could but you still weren’t making enough money. You rented out a room from your parents because according to them the second you turn eighteen they weren’t supposed to help you anymore. Even if you wanted to leave you couldn’t afford the lease. You remember all those nights with Eddie, dreaming of the day you finally became adults so you could become independent.
“We’re here,” Eddie says, snapping his finger in front of your face.
“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me,” You jump, hand clutching your chest.
“What’s got you so spaced out?” Eddie asks, during the short walk into the diner and into your “designated” booth.
“Nothin’” you say, playing with the salt and pepper shakers.
“C’mon tell me what’s on your mind,” He pushes.
“I just wish I could do something to help Wayne out,” You sigh, not looking up at him.
“Me too,” He says, taking the pepper from your hand and playing with it. You didn’t expect the heavy atmosphere but thankfully it's broken when Doris comes over with your drinks. You always ordered the same thing, every week.
“Here’s your cola’s, just put in your order,” She smiles.
“Thank you!” you beam at the sugary beverage.
“There’s something magical in these sodas I swear,” You moan, as you gulp it down.
Eddie’s looking at you through his eyelashes, tongue swiping at his bottom lip.
“Yeah tastes pretty good,” He observes, voice deeper than normal and pupil’s slightly blown out. You make conversation over your pancake breakfasts, talking about shitty customers and bonding over telling them to fuck off. The tension from earlier is gone as Eddie promises he can scarf down his food in less than ten minutes.
“I never said you couldn’t do it, I just said it wasn’t worth the upset stomach I know you’re gonna have,” You say, walking toward his van.
“Well it was worth it,” He gives you a toothy smile.
“Now for the big event,” He says, as you both get in the van.
“Big event?” You question.
“Got you a surprise, something I promised you a long time ago,” He says, staring into your eyes. There’s something there you don’t recognize, his gaze looking different. You wrack your brain trying to decipher his riddle. What did he promise you? He had made so many promises over the years, pinkies intertwining each other as Gareth made fun of your childish ways.
“Okay…” You look at him suspiciously.
“But, I’m gonna need to blindfold you,” He says, eyes full of mischief.
“Ooh kinky,” you wag your eyebrows at him. His eyes slightly widen before he snaps out of it and grabs a scrap of fabric from his door.
“Turn around for me sweetheart,” He mumbles. You can’t help but slightly shake as he places the opaque fabric over your eyes, his hand brushing the back of your head as he knots it in place. The entire act felt all too intimate, your heavy breaths in the silent van weren’t helping either.
“Can you see anything?” He asks, presumably waving a hand in your face as you turn to sit straight.
“Nothing, scouts honor,” You say, raising two fingers.
“You weren’t even in the scouts,” He laughs, turning the key in the ignition. You don’t know what direction you’re heading in.
“Oh my god are you gonna murder me? Been playing the long con? Get me comfortable so I go without protest,” You tease.
“Oh yeah, gonna chop you up in the forest in the name of satan,” He says dramatically.
“Sounds ‘bout right,” You laugh, as he pulls to a stop.
“We’re here, just give me a second” He says, opening the door and rounding the car to open yours less than a second later.
“Wrap your arms around my neck princess,” He says, carrying you out of the van and placing you on your feet.
“Woah,” You grab onto his arm as the dizziness sets in.
“You alright?” He asks, concerned laced in his voice.
“Yeah just give me a second. M’dizzy” You say, gripping harder onto his bicep.
“Take your time,” He says.
“I’m ready,” You say after a minute. “Okay, just follow my voice. It’s a trust exercise,” you can hear the smile in his voice as he leads you. “There’s like three steps, just take ‘em slow. Here’s the first one,” He says, stopping so you can get your footing. He leads you up the last two, “Before you take your blindfold off… just, I don’t know. J-just I don’t even know how to explain it,” He says, voice full of nervousness.
“Eds, I feel like I've been blindfolded for an hour. If this is another prank I will fucking kill you,” You threaten.
“Not a joke, promise,” He says, “Ready?”
“Been ready,” You answer. He takes your hand putting something cold in it and leaning over your shoulder to see the knot. You blink at the sudden light, trying to grab your bearings.
“W-what?” You asked confused. He’d placed a key in your hand, you were standing in front of a house.
“We always promised we’d move out together, it was time for me to bank it in,” He smiles.
“Wait, what?” You still couldn’t believe it. It had to be some sort of joke, he probably found this key on the floor.
“C’mon open the door,” He nods his head in the direction of the lock.
“You’re serious?” You ask, eyes wide in shock.
“As a heart attack. C’mon! I’ve been waiting for months to show you it,” He says, pressing you to open the lock. Your hands shake as you approach the door, the key surprisingly sliding in and turning. Oh no he wasn’t lying, this wasn’t an epic prank. You open the door to an empty living room, his hand guiding you inside.
“I haven’t picked out the furniture yet, thought you’d want to do it together,” He stammers, as you silently scan over the room. It was nice, the entrance opened to the living room, to the left was an open floor plan kitchen, and to the right a bedroom.
“T-together?” You stutter. You were speechless.
“I know how much you hate living at your folks home and you know we made that promise that we’d move out together when we had the money,” He says scratching the back of his neck. He was nervous at your lack of response, did you hate the house? Maybe he should have consulted you first.
“So you and me, living together?” You question, taking in every single detail.
“Yes, just you and me. Maybe Wayne but I doubt he’ll leave the trailer. He’ll finally have a bedroom again though,” He trails off.
“Holy shit, this is for real?” You ask again, walking around the living room toward the kitchen.
“Oh my god how many times do I have to say yes. Did I tie that blindfold too tight? Not enough oxygen in your brain” he chuckles at his joke. You jump into his arms, legs straddling his waist. You hold onto him like a monkey as he grabs your thighs.
“This is the best present ever! Holy shit, Eddie,” You say hugging him close.
“Least I can do for your long years of serving me loyally,” He laughs, walking deeper into the house. You slide down his body as he pulls you through, giving you the grand tour. The house had three bedrooms total, apparently he got an insane deal on the property. Someone from the shop got a huge opportunity in Indianapolis and was trying to get rid of it. They passed down the title to Eddie instead of going through a broker.
“Now this, I think may be your favorite part,” He says, pulling you toward the back door. Your hands entwined, which was not unusual for you both. He opens the door to a beautiful garden, the previous owners must’ve loved this place. It was full of flowers and fruit trees.
“There’s a perfect shady spot to read your books, we could put a table out there and have breakfast together,” He says.
“Holy shit Eddie, it’s perfect,” You say, pulling him in for another hug. He’s bent at an awkward angle to meet your height. Without thinking you peck him on the lips before letting him go and walking down the steps to the garden. You look back at him still frozen in that weird position.
“What’s wrong?” You ask oblivious to what you had just done.
“D-did you just kiss me?” He asks, running down the stairs to meet you halfway down the yard.
“T-that was-” You stutter, realizing what happened. He towers over you, hand tilting your face upward as he kisses you again.
“This okay?” he mumbles into your lips. You move your hands to his shoulders, nails digging into the skin. “Mhm,” You agree, trying to pull him closer. His tongue swipes against your bottom lip with a groan, his kisses becoming more desperate. You open your mouth inviting him in, his tongue mapping out your mouth as you moan. “F-fuck,” You breathe out as he pulls away, kissing down your neck. You’d never been touched like this by Eddie, his hands running all over you anguished for a piece of skin to grab onto. He leans his forehead against yours, as you both catch your breath, his hands under your shirt on your hips.
“W-what was that,” You stammer.
“Been wanting to do that since middle school,” His breath ghosts over your face as he leans back to look at you, skin flushed and chest rising rapidly.
“Since fourth grade,” You laugh, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him down to your level.
“That long?” He says incredulously.
“You were my first crush,” You admit, face flushing at the confession.
“You were mine!” He says, voice raising in astonishment.
“So we could’ve been doing that for fuckin’ years?” He says more to himself than you.
“Guess so,” You shrug your shoulders.
“No wonder everyone thought we were dating. You made the goo goo eyes at me I made the goo goo eyes at you,” He laughs.
“That was your fault! You always had an arm around my shoulder or were holding my hand. Anyone would’ve thought we were together!” You reply.
“As if you didn’t love it. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you look at me when I wear this shirt,” He teases.
“So you admit you did it on purpose?” You ask, smacking his chest.
“Course gotta make you all nervous,” He pecks you on the lips.
“Well don’t think I don’t notice all the times you stare at my boobs especially when I wear this,” You motion to your outfit.
“I fucking knew it! You’re a temptress y’know that?” He growls, pulling you in for another kiss.
“Anyway, I was always touching you because I didn’t want anyone hanging around my girl,” He mumbles at his admission, neck and cheeks flushed.
“Your girl?” You question, eyebrow raised.
“Always have been, always will be,” He reveals.
“You don’t know how many girls I had to fight off,” You chuckle.
“No way! I had to fight off half the town. You don’t even know how many fist fights I got into because of you,” he says.
“Girls are a lot more vicious. You know there was always a rumor going around about you,” You divulge.
“Oh yeah?” He motions for you to go on. “Always heard you had a big dick,” You reveal before hiding in his chest. You feel his chest vibrate as he laughs, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teases.
“Yes I would,” You say, gaining confidence. You look up at him, the way his chocolate brown eyes are swallowed by his pupils. He pulls you in for another kiss, this one faster and more aggressive, it almost felt primal.
“Finally!” Robin cheers from the door, Eddie groans at the sound. He forgot he called them while you were changing. Steve, Robin, and Nancy scramble down the stairs giving you both congratulations. Gareth, Jeff, and, Grant arriving a few minutes later. Eddie’s annoyance dies down when he sees your face loving the way you laugh around your friends. You spend the rest of the afternoon drinking and eating take out with them. Nancy had brought a board game, this felt like home. Having them all here, Eddie's arm wrapped around you as he kisses your temple. You were finally home.
Eddie was finally yours and you were finally his. All your internal struggles and insecurities paid off. You had won the big prize at the fair! You spend the night on a blow up mattress with Eddie, eventually popping it because he has no control. After years of waiting you both felt more than desperate, clawing at each other's clothes.
“Shit- shit shit! M’close,” You moan.
“Fuck me too!” his eyes roll to the back of his head, thrusting in and out at a brutal pace.
“Say you’re mine, wanna hear it,” He begs.
“M’yours, always yours,” You claw at his back. “Yes yes yes yes,” He rambles until you’re both seeing stars. He pulls out of you, pulling you to his sweaty chest.
“This has to be a dream,” He exhales, staring at the ceiling. You kiss his chest in response. It was all too real. Your dreams had become reality. You finally had Eddie in your arms. You were his and he was yours just like you both promised when you were children.
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