#edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who���s own art is now making herself SAD

[incarnateirony]

An anti dressed up as a shipper, an idiot, and a terf all walk into the same bar.

It’s the same picture person.

A lesson.

Warning: if the title doesn’t give it away, queerphobic content comes up in this from the other party being documented.

So, some of you may have watched a twitter exercise yesterday.

It started simple: concern trolling white knight “for the writers” comes in to angrily declare fans doing something tagged in support of them about Destiel was “out of line.” She claimed things like “Misha was gaslit into supporting Destiel”, and pulled all kinds of stunts.

She immediately got on a soap box yelling “I HAVE A LIT CRIT DEGREE, I KNOW AUTHOR INTENT” of course implying she knew better than EVERYONE around her how to read text. She then pulled, of all things, @chill-legilimens​​ ‘ article about the network gods gutting the show out of the internet, and somehow misread it SO FUCKING BADLY -- SO FUCKING BADLY -- she thought it aligned with HER. She argued that fans influenced the writers, essentially, and basically pulled the exact opposite of the very clearly delivered message there out. When it was pointed out we know this author and even sometimes help edit their pieces, and she was, flat out misreading it while bragging about how good she is at deciphering text, it turned into a SHITSHOW.

I had watched her give a large group of queer people 2 days of runaround, while they tried to be polite, and similarly tried to prove everything while she proved nothing. Just preached. After 2 days of them exhausting themselves on her, I came in doing my blunt & savage thing, because fuck civility culture when it’s used by oppressors. Of course, she immediately started tone policing, while herself being an arrogant shitbrick the whole way.

She continued to preach author intent and talk down about “headcanons.” You see, she knew the authors very well. Berens’ name was mentioned in passing, and she came back with. “Who’s Berens? Is that the author of the article?” after Deirdre’s name had been directly cited in associated with it about 15 times.

(credit: @judgehangman​ )

But it gets better. She started pulling the “authors have said Dean is straight.” line. Now, at this point, we had already sourced her at least four pieces of information (quite formally too: SPN Official DVD Collection Season 8 episode 13 creative commentary, Edlund and Sgriccia; Dissent Magazine The Attack Queers Bob Berens review; the books in the office with screenshots, and more.) So we issued one simple request: Okay. Source.

For the next-- I shit you not-- 10 hours she bricked the thread to death, finding any and EVERY rabbit hole she could try to venture down. For the first hour or two a few of us tried to actually debate her newly raised points, but still gave reminder that we were waiting for her source. Every tweet was an opportunity for her to drop a 15 tweet thread trying to derail onto a new topic, and often clarifying she had no idea about any of it (Edlund, Sgriccia, Berens, Dabb--who she couldn’t spell the name of--and Deirdre all became an amorpheous blob in her retelling that she swore she looked at sources and wasn’t convinced, while she crossed all the data and comments about the sources). She tried to challenge that anyone could know all the writers and episodes just because she proved she couldn’t, even when multiple people expressed it to her extremely rapidly with not just author and director listings, but cross references on when they overlapped and major elements (like the 15.20 shot 19 tree being the Kim Manners memorial tree). She randomly babbled about Kripke once. Lied her way through and claimed those sources were vague. Etc.

But at some point, I decided, we’re not playing this distraction game. You wanted a debate, you claim you have a lit crit degree, and thus know the entire art is Argumentation. A source, if you’re declaring knowing author intent. One source. Any time she dropped a distraction tweet, I replied to her thread with things like a list of our sources vs her lack of any and a reminder. I installed a counter ticker. How many times had she been asked to either recant her point or give a single source?

Someone made a list of the logical fallacies she used in the argument. It was two tweets long and still missed several obvious ones. That didn’t stop her. Neither did the dozens of requests for a source or a recant. Onwards, she marched, derailing time and again. She brought in a buddy to try to distract, but he fell out real quick when he realized “the burden of proof lies on the arguer” shot him and her both in the feet in record time and he ducked out. 

Other greatest hits came out like “Dubs (Dabb’s) fanfic books”, and calling the ability to list authors and episodes “headcanons.”

Over time, the dialogue shifted: see, she came in trying the snide “enjoy your headcanons” downtalk, but as time and time again she was pulverized on every point about the show, or the authors, or anything else while STILL never even giving a single source to even her FIRST POINT and running distractions, it became a reality-- she was told, “We’ll enjoy our canon and author intent. You can enjoy your headcanon of... Dabb’s fanfic books and Lord Barons and the writers being collective hallucinations and whatever else in your hot takes about the show content itself” and she FLIPPED SHIT. 

As the ticker for sources approached 100, she started becoming flustered. Before that, even, she started repetitively misgendering Ezra (no tumblr to link in), and Ezra screenshot their bio of they/them and asked them to adjust. Ignored. Ezra linked this request and asked it to be addressed again, and again, and again. 13 times. Ezra linked it 13 times. She even replied to several of them. No avail. No change. Not until literally any and every tweet in her vicinity either had “source?” or “address gender?” for her to reply to did she flee there, and write some giant write-around of “oh, I didn’t see this, sorry” but still refused to actually use it. Or “I’ll use the right one now.” No, just completely strickened pronouns from her vocabulary with Ezra moving forward, after not one mistake, not two, not five, but 13 answers.

At this point, I notice a trend: throughout the entire conversation, she had flip flopped on my pronouns, clearly confused as to what to call me. As I generally don’t care (honestly I prefer he but meh), it didn’t ping me as something to react to while she switched religiously between “he” and “she”. But I realized now, despite all of that confusion: she never once thought to use “they.” Also earlier we found tweets of hers that, while now declaring herself bisexual, she used troublesome wording in the past to blur the line on if she was an ally or, as she phrased it “maybe less than 100% straight in the bell curve” in other conversations.

I mutter about this on the side to Ezra and some friends, but continue on towards the 100 ticker that was the goal to show people in this digital terrarium how disingenuous most people you argue with are -- an exhibit for the class. They know they’re lying and have been caught, but will not cede to admit “oops, I guess I was wrong.” but rather stick, unironically, to their own headcanons about things. After all, they vaguely sorta apologized even if suddenly just refusing to use any pronouns at all on Ezra after that. And she’s so quick to disappear into 15 tweet bombs of distraction trying to play victim for being held accountable at this point, we just didn’t jump to a conclusion on that, alarming as it is.

So. You know. Source.

At this point, she RANDOMLY starts evoking the fact that like, How Dare, She Watched Gay Men Die To AIDS, She Is A Great Philanthropist How Dare How Dare. 

I’m sorry, did you just evoke the blood of our dead to run away from the most basic scrap of accountability in what is literally the first wave of a lit debate because for the last 10 hours you have refused to take the necessary steps to move on to the next point? Did you... just... evoke the ghosts of gay men that were genocided to, essentially, pull up a smokescreen and run away from being party to queer erasure? Or even just? Giving a source? or admitting you were wrong on one point in a debate? Wow, you really just did that. 

Naturally, people involved got pissed. Her Sources ticker hit 100, but at this point, all that haunted her was how completely fucking vile and inappropriate that was in this discussion. 

She got blocked. She then tried to glom onto anyone that hadn’t blocked or muted her and run the same argumentation points she had earlier been decimated in the argument with, while yelling “I ship Destiel too! I wanted them to have sex too! Why does this make me the bad guy?” around the block and hoping nobody actually read the thread. She tried to pitch the “headcanons” point of view again, hoping a new audience would lick her boots. She was, largely, ignored; given a few more comments about her leaving the conversation losing all points and only covered in the blood of our dead she was so proud of; blocked by a few more. (unsurprisingly, if you check her actual tweet history, she seems more invested in Megstiel but)

This is when CommaSameleon -- a professor with two lit degrees and a primary focus in teaching the art of Argumentation -- literally -- stepped in. She initially tried to engage the fact that, well, this woman not only can’t argue out of a paper sack but wasn’t even arguing, she was just running in circles and distracting from all the points and hadn’t addressed a single lit point directly while preaching down at people. But Sam, also, noticed something. This woman kept changing things like “queerphobia” to “homophobia.” Sam mentioned this kinda puts off TERF vibes (I think Sam picked up on the gendering thing herself too.)

Her response? Which she deleted since? But Discord’s embed helpfully saved?

Her inacted non-apologies remain weak, especially in any form of debate be it lit or now queer topics.

Oh I’m sorry, let’s recap her viewpoints: TERF is a slur. “They” is made up and should be avoided at all costs. The blood of dead gay men are a token to use in a lit debate you’re avoiding responsibility in. After this, “authors are headcanons” is suddenly not your worst take, but fascinating that you 13 times didn’t even read the blatant ass screenshot. And I mean, these weren’t subtle or easy to miss these 13 times.

100. She had 100 chances, literally, on a timer, to give a source or shut up with her platforming until she had one. Instead, she chose every rabbit hole she could manifest to disappear into, only to be met by another request for a source, and not moving on until we address the first points. We’ve given ours, now you give yours. Instead, you choose this. This is the hill you choose to die on, rather than admitting, “Sorry, I guess I was wrong” or “I guess I heard that somewhere, my bad.” 100 chances. 13 direct QT requests to address gender which she replied to but didn’t reply to until cornered (and still didn’t, truly, reply to), and “TERF is a slur.” Oh, and after waving around the dead men’s blood she also suddenly Can’t Be A Terf Because She Adopted Two Trans Kids. Lord help those children. Or, you know, the more realistic thing is she’s just manifesting all kinds of bullshit at this point to save face, which is probably why she deleted all the related tweets that show she’s a giant-ass TERF.

So anyway, this is very much a lesson on:

Paying attention to how people manipulate conversation to erase genuine discussion and debate.

Paying attention to WHY they do it. Motivation on methods and tactics will clear up a lot.

Figuring out HOW they try to sound woke about shit and when it’s entirely fucking vile and inappropriate to pull

And by all above points, figuring out that these people are among us, and how NOT to let them influence your conversations.

I don’t care if it’s about a discussion on a ship or show or anything else. People do this. A lot. Extremely dedicatedly, if the 100 asks doesn’t make that clear. 

Stop letting people railroad your conversations with disingenuous bullshit.

So anyway in honor of this I made everyone a gif

Use at will. It’s tagged anti-terf if you want to use the search feature on it.

UPDATE: 

Just went and checked. She went and deleted literally her entire side of the conversation, hundreds if not thousands of tweets. Luckily, Ezra mentioned repeatedly -- and I do trust them inherently -- that they were saving the entire conversation, so that zip file exists somewhere. How fascinating, after she accused us that we would want to delete tweets. Someone realized they had a bad look and giant failure all around.

Also, a related anon that links to an earlier part of this conversation I didn’t even document where she was crying about “cis erasure” [x] This shit went on so long I legit forgot about that.

[taurustony]

The True Mighty Bison - Season V edition.

Some weeks ago, I had a very productive discussion on twitter with Steven Mane about the subject of this essay, and he brought up very good points, an alternative theory (not as out there as mine) and reminded me I haven't actually added the ACTUAL Seth info from his story and Arcade endings to this text. Now that even Rose is on the game (although she didn't bring new info on this front), Let's update this very wild theory about our favorite psycho powered dictator. For the day you discovered the truth about M. Bison was the most important of your Street Fighter fan life. But for them, it was only Tuesday. HEAVY SPOILERS FOR SETH'S SFV STORY MODE AND ENDING. and in a lesser intensity, Rose's. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is M. Bison. Bison is one first class A-hole who runs the biggest crime syndicate on the world (Shadaloo), wants to spark global destruction if not given global domination and has a tendency to kidnap 16 year old girls.  Bison also wields something called Psycho Power. Through profane rituals (more of this in a bit), He is the biggest source/receptacle of it. this power is also destroying his body, which leads to the only thing he likes more than kidnapping 16 year old girls: Body Swapping. The body in the picture is not his original body, not even his first, but is the... model we are most used to see him using. This is how you would imagine him if one mentioned M. Bison. In SFV he finally got grey/white hair, but originally this body had black hair.

however...

These are Ed and Falke. They are CLONED Bodies of Bison, They are both spare bodies for M. Bison, created in a attempt to build a body strong enough to hold his power. They are both of the most recent attempt, the newer models so to speak. As far as we know, they are all biological (a point that will come up later) and since CAPCOM use the word CLONES, they share the same DNA as Bison. Physically speaking, they are around their late teens, although being much younger actually (both suffered from accelerated aging). They escaped Shadaloo due to the fact that an older model ended up destroying the base where they were being held. speaking of the Devil....

These are Seth and Abel.  Also, spare bodies of Bison. But (un)fortunately, they developed a conscience and independence. While Abel ran away and joined the french army, Seth created a splinter cell from Shadaloo called S.I.N. and planned a hostile takeover of the syndicate. One interesting fact is that both Seth and Abel are the SAME MODEL of bodies, but Seth installed the upgrade of the Tanden Engine on his body. So Seth was once like Abel and if given enough time and the proper modifications, Abel could become like Seth.  One recent release on Street Fighter V revealed the Seth was always more machine than man. If that is plainly due the Tanden Engine modification and what this means to Abel, its still unknown. both (Abel more than Seth) still have Bison’s DNA on them. Also, Bison considers this batch of clones a FAILED experiment Seth was the final Boss of Street Fighter IV, and Abel was the protagonist of that series. but, the older models are the more interesting ones.

These are Cammy and Decapre. Both are the oldest clone models player knew until recently. They are also fully biological and the first successful vessels for Psycho Power. Decapre is actually a “ Cammy Alpha“, a first attempt to create Cammy herself. Being fully biological, they ALSO carry Bison’s DNA. While Cammy became independent and joined the British Army, Decapre stayed brainwashed and a weapon for Shadaloo until recently (SFIV). Both Decapre and Cammy were part of a shadaloo project call “The Dolls project“: Most of the Dolls were the kidnapped teenage girls mentioned before, who were also test beds for Bison’s mind control via psycho power. There were 12 Dolls (Decapre and other 11), with Cammy being a 13th, codenamed Killer Bee. As of now, you probably noticed: 3 males, 3 females. We might be onto something here. But remember that profane ritual I mentioned? One of the results was this lady here...

This is Rose. In order to get full access to Psycho Power, Bison had to EXPEL ALL THE GOOD ENERGY FROM HIS SOUL. No joking. the good half of Bison’s Soul incarnated on a young Italian GIRL who was being born that moment and who grew up to be a incredible psychic and fortune teller ,plus the most powerful user of the SOUL POWER, the opposite to Bison’s Psycho Power. so Rose is the REINCARNATION of Bison’s soul, or at least half of it. After the events of SF Alpha 3, Bison even used Rose’s body as a vessel, to hide himself from the authorities. How she was freed and what happened to her during SFII is still unknown. Street Fighter V didn't really expanded on the relationship between Rose and Bison, as much as confirmed that as of the end of A Shadow Falls (SFV general story mode), Bison's is truly gone, at least as definitive as Rose can sense. Let's also remember that, until the interference of Rose herself, Cammy/Killer Bee was considered a succesfull attempt at creating the perfect body. If Rose hadn't freed Cammy's mind, which was as close to a blank slate and receptive as possible, its highly probable that Bison would be using her body instead. Still with me? STREET FIGHTER V: ARCADE EDITION added another point on this list: SETH was released in 2020 as a playable character, part of Season IV. HOWEVER, the FORM he appeared is quite the surprise.

THIS IS SETH! YES, THAT SAME SETH!! (a name tag on SFV confirms this is number 15, the seth that was at the center of SFIV events) After having all of his bodies destroyed during SFIV, his brain was placed by Juri on an old body known as DOLL UNIT 0. The interesting thing here is that Jury is doing this in behalf of a third party, identified only as voice on phone. This voice expected a male body, while Juri didn't even noticed (or cared) that Seth or DU0's had a gender. Doll Unit 0's body accepted Seth's biological brain without a problem. Seth's mind however, is on turmoil. When integrating with the DU0' original personality, something went wrong and Seth went completely batshit crazy. He only sees Psycho Power, and mistook Ed and Falke as being Bison himself, due to their Psycho Power energy. Some lines, such as this Seth is true perfection hints on a ongoing attempt of accepting the new body. The Arcade mode ending and an extra Seth on his Critical Art during his V-trigger 1 also hints that Seth's true power lies in the INTEGRATION with this new body. ALL OF THESE, ALL OF IT, are just canon facts from the SF series lore.  now for the speculation. Bison is not using the original body. And psycho power, specially the levels Bison desires, requires quite the strong one, which factors on why his current body is failing these days. why he had to abandon his original body? My only guess is that the profane ritual either destroyed it in the process or damaged it beyond repair. but at this point, Bison already had gained the power to posses other bodies. Doll Unit 0, the prototype for the perfect vessel, is female. Bison’s soul incarnated on a female body and until very recently, when his clone technology developed enough to create more radical deviations, the clones were all female. While there is several attempts of male bodies they are a late development and not only there is only one almost successful male body, it is the one that requires constant replacing AND Bison is trying to upgrade from, because it's not enough. But, the creation of a male body is stiil on the table and being attempted. Considering CAPCOM’s own words, that Seth is more machine than man, we can guess that Abel is probably just the biological basis for Seth, who is mostly the Tanden Engine and a biological brain. This is what was implemented into Doll Unit 0, who was completely female at that point, maybe even fully biological since Cammy, the earliest successful clone so far is fully biological as well. If we compare to real world cloning technology, cloning someone of the same gender is easier and more direct than altering the gender. Then there is the not-satated-but-extremely-obvious-fact that DU0 was the true first attempt at the tech that would produce Cammy, meaning, Shadaloo’s cloning tech was tested with HER. This also means that Doll Unit 0 IS EXTREMELY SIMILAR, IF NOT IDENTICAL, TO BISON'S ORIGINAL BODY. in conclusion: Bison’s original body is FEMALE and something close to this:

Thanks BbbSFXT from Deviant Art for the Mod and the picture. On the last version, I considered Mistress Bison being blonde, but thinking it through, it was more wishful thinking, trying to make them close to Cammy. Clones being a blonde is probably a side effect of DNA manipulation. Blond hair is recessive, and putting on the simplest, almost insulting way possible, it means blonde only happens if both sides of the DNA have the same code for hair. Since Bison is using the same DNA over and over, it makes sense clones would end up blonde. This also fits with DU0 being a very early prototype, with almost Bison's entire DNA intact, including the code for them hair. And now let's talk mysticism: There is the whole Yin/Yang theme surround everything Psycho Power, explicitly shown in Seth's design, but it was already there, at least as early as the Alpha/Zero series. In the balance of the Yin/Yang symbolism, Yin, the black part, can represent a “feminine principle” and also, can be a suffix/preffix meaning shadow. While Yang, the white part, can represent a “masculine principle” and also can be a suffix/preffix meaning light. these are parts in all living beings, be them male or female.

Psycho Power, the shadow, is feminine. Soul Power, the light, is masculine. There is a inversion of the symbolism here, with Bison, the male body, using the yin and Rose, the female body, using the yang. But the catch is: Rose is not a traditional reincarnation of Bison (obvious reasons) but received Bison's yang, on top of her natural one. This counts on why Rose is so powerful with Soul power. And while she doesn't seem to suffer a physical instability like Bison, as fortune teller and psychic, seem to be incredibly sensitive to strong emotions and energies around her (How the mind of G affected her on SFV being a exemple), I would argue that this extreme sensitiveness is the side effect of that extra yang energy. Let's also consider that while Bison wants MORE shadow and went way beyond what his natural body could hold, Rose stayed pretty much at her natural levels, as far as we know. So Bison's instability can be accounted as using insane levels of pure feminine energy inside a male body. Seth, the genderless one, will only find harmony in accepting his female body. Rose, the female body, is the only of them to have any kind of control and estability. This all points towards Mistress Bison, and that's the hill I'm dying on. this also ties to the idea proposed by Steven Mane: Psycho Power is closely related to the feminine and can't function properly, or at all, with men. Bison forcing that is the base reason for the physical instability. Which leads us to... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steven Mane's alternative theory of Psycho Power

The main gist here is that there isn't really any indication that Bison's OG body is any different from the one he uses today (which is true. There isn't a single line about it on the canon sources). The initial lack of male clones is accounted simply as that we haven't seen enough male clones, and they might have existed since Killer Bee's times. In his views, everything so far points to Bison desiring a male body. However, Psycho power works better with women, or was meant to be used by women. There is another fighting game with a similar plot, Skullgirls, in which the main McGuffin for that story is a mystical artifact that only works with women, which is why most of the cast of that game is female. And after Rose's SFV ending, I wouldn't put behind CAPCOM to lift another game's plot point for their own, specially one that would fit well with the already stablished canon. However, Steven Mane's best argument for this comes from SFA3 itself, or rather, the PSP version of SFA3. But before we get to that, let's go down on the memory lane and remember the facts.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 MAX, also known as Street Fighter Zero 3 Double Upper in Japan, is so far the last version of Street Fighter Alpha 3 released and it is an exclusive of the Playstation Portable console. The Alpha/Zero Series is the main focal point when talking about Bison and Psycho Power, as it's the series where Rose first appeared and in Alpha 3, we have the only canon appearance of Cammy as Killer Bee (on the intro of her first fight against Rose) and the first playable Dolls, Juli and Juni. SFA3 MAX is also, up to the publication of this, the only game in the series to have a guest character (the jury is still out on SFV last season V character). "Wait, Tony" you ask "Don't you mean 4 guest characters?" Eagle and Maki are not guests: They were always part of the Street Fighter franchise, and are contemporary to the events of the game . Yun makes a non-canon appearance which is explained by time travel (in his own quotes), since the events of Alpha series happen way when he was nothing but a toddler. But he is still part of the franchise, so not a guest, per se.

Ingrid, however, is a conundrum wrapped inside a enigma and kept inside a locked puzzle box missing some of its pieces. That is inside a cave inside a volcano under the pacific ocean. On the mariana trenches.

Ingrid is from a failed, unreleased CAPCOM game called CAPCOM Fighting All-Stars. Her first playable appearance is the ill-received crossover game CAPCOM Fighting Jam, known in Japan as CAPCOM Fighting Evolution.

In All-Stars, she was kind of a regular fighter, with a special importance to the plot and final boss. The very little we know about the plot hints on her being something beyond human. She carried a code Isis, is nicknamed the Eternal Goddess, and is said to posses the power of longevity.

On Fighting Jam, she has to solve some issues she had with Pyron, the final boss of that game and an alien who is basically a living sun and is hinted to be what ended the dinosaurs (i swear this is Darkstalkers Canon) Her ending there is... weird.

I brought this up because it adds a tiny little bit of context to her SFA3 MAX ending.

Ingrid claims ownership of the psycho power. Notice that its the power itself, not the Psycho Drive Bison's uses. And Bison is aware of that. Roses recognizes both as users of Psycho Power, even though she doesn't recognizes Ingrid. Also note at 00:59 that the focus point of the psycho drive carries Ingrid's Seal, the same one on the cups on her head AND the one she summons on her Fighting Jam ending. Oh, and she is capable of time travel. but no mention if she was the one who brought Yun to SFA3 time, though. What this all mean? Speculation time: According to Steven Mane's theory: With Ingrid being the creator of psycho power, Psycho power works better with women. You can even explain Bison's obsession with 16 year old girls: They are the ones who closely resemble Ingrid, who he knows is the original source of that power. This also explain why Bison's desire of a male body directly conflicts with psycho power: It was never meant for such body. and why there is so much female clones: It simply the result of experiments to see what fits better. But Bison is trying to get around this: He has been experimenting on both, noticing that male bodies deteriorate way faster, confirmed that female ones fit better, but for reasons only known to himself, this was not enough. The genderless Seth, a sentient machine build to gather psycho power, was Bison's latest attempt of circumvent the body type limitation, but it still didn't work (as stated by Bison himself) This is where Steven Mane's theory ends. But from that, we can jump to other conclusions: Ingrid is a goddess and is the source of Psycho Power energy. Notice that she is not the source of soul power though, so behind her innocent face, behind those red eyes, lies something sinister and evil. (Or maybe, Soul Power is simply Psycho Power with another name? Rose might be the one hiding something...) [Small June/2021 update: After a lazy Sunday re-reading the SF30th's bios, its is clear that Soul Power is not just Psycho Power with a different name. So if you want to follow this line of thought through, you have to consider that Ingrid is EVIL, or at least deals heavily with negative energies (closer to Akuma than Bison). and it opens the possibility of a God/Goddess of Soul Power somewhere out there on the SF Universe. but that is speculation for another time.]

Ingrid is time-travelling to specific points in time to collect parts of her power. Bison was one of those who stole it. Pyron probably did it too, and in 201X, Ryu has something to do with it.

Oh, extra fact: SFIII, the last game on the timeline, happens in 1999. SFV, the game that was released on the 10's, canonically happens during 1998. So the Ryu she is supposed to meet next is YET to appear (maybe in SF6?).

And because she is a time travellng goddess, not a dimension hopping one this means a direct connection between the worlds of Darkstalkers, Street Fighter and Red Earth, the three franchises from CAPCOM Fighting Jam: Darkstalkers' Human World could be considered to be Street Fighter's Earth, and Red Earth is literally another planet on the same universe, hinting a bigger CAPCOM shared timeline then we expected. We can also speculate that Bison ultimate goal would not be just global domination but to replace Ingrid as god/goddess of psycho power. And she took Yun to 1989 just for the LuLz. Why I didn't mentioned Ingrid up there in MY theory? because of CFN Portal. The Capcom Fighters Network Portal is essentially the final word on who is canon in Street Fighter. Released together with SFV, its a well documented, weirdly organized and deep source of any street fighter or final fight character you can imagine. Those 2 guys fighting on the intro of SF2 got bios there. As well as Hakan's daughters and Elena's Family. Heck, CFN Portal is the place that finally settled Chun-li's father name as Dorai.

There is also relevant guest characters and characters who appeared in other games but that CAPCOM consider part of the franchise and canon, such as Blade from the Street Fighter: The Movie game (now part of the North American operations of Shadaloo) and... Ruby Heart from MARVEL vs CAPCOM 2 (a version of her actually, before the events of that game). Ingrid is clearly shown as a guest character and NOT part of the street fighter franchise, as she does not have the SF franchise standard background. the only ones who this happen are special guests from, such as the ones from Street Fighter EX and Street Fighter 2010. Ingrid is also described there with her bio from CAPCOM Fighting All-Stars, rather then her own story on SFA3 MAX or even CAPCOM Fighting Jam, in a way making her role on SFA3 MAX similar to Evil Ryu's: A what-if non-canon scenario of the events of the game, that has no bearing on the main plot. Evil Ryu's ending are always Ryu kills everybody and wants more blood, never really explaining anything. Evil Ryu is more important as a visual representation of the dark side of Ryu rather than a character itself'. and because of that precedent, when CAPCOM itself gave her non-canon status, it's better to err on the side of caution and not consider her direct influence and acts when speculating about the plot and lore, unless they are the only source of some kind of hinted information. And there is one very canon character who has a situation like that. Killer Bee. As I mentioned before, the ONLY time Cammy acts as Killer Bee in canon is on her SFA3 arcade/story mode: In her intro against Rose, her very first fight, She initially starts under control of Bison. Rose actually recognizes Bison's Power and frees her, even before the fight starts. The fight itself is actually framed as a violent reaction to being freed. but there is a game where we can see Killer Bee Cammy in all her brainwashed glory: X-men vs Street Fighter. Released before Alpha 3 and the first game where Cammy is shown with her Alpha design. Her quotes there shows a profound reverence to Bison AND some are mechanical in nature. Goddess Ingrid (to differentiate a bit from Code Holder Ingrid) could be one of these instances: Canonically speaking, we know very little about Bison: What are his motivations, why he desires such levels of power or anything that would elevate him from one dimensional antagonist. Sagat started as that and became one of the most developed characters of the franchise. Gill is from the straight go good intentions that will end up bad. Seth is the whole reason of this essay, so I don't need to show you anymore how he turned out a interesting character. and there is G, who is either a suicide cult leader still looking for followers, or the savior of mankind. Not to mention that most players thought as a good guy until Rose's ending. like, holy psycho powered cow... Bison is still just the dictator who wants to rule the entire world. And the only character that deals with Psycho Power in a way that is not just evil power for the evil dictator is a character that, as far as CAPCOM is concerned, is not even acknowledged as the relevant version.

[agentunwin]

MACARONI & GLUE [Teacher!Shawn x Teacher!Reader]

In which Mr.Mendes’ kindergartners come up with a master plan to set him and Ms.Y/L/N up. 

[Gif by @mendes-shawn!]

— A/N: this is barely edited sorry but i got this idea from a general teacher x teacher prompt post i saw a few days ago, i thought it was cute so i wrote it. also if you know who made the gif let me know so i can credit!

— WORDS: 1.8k

— WARNINGS: n/a

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Shawn shuffled behind the wall as he eyed the woman just down the hall. Her legs looked great in her beige skirt as she bent down to give each of her first graders high fives as they walked into the classroom. Her smile was bright and her love for her students radiated throughout the entire school, brightening everyone’s day. Brightening his day.

When all of her students reentered the classroom she stood to dust off her outfit and was about to follow behind them, but something caught her eye. A mysterious S-shaped curl peeked out from the wall just a few feet away. She chuckled to herself and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Good morning, Mr.Mendes.” Y/N called out, knocking him off his balance a little. He presumed he was being sneaky but that obviously wasn’t the case, and now embarrassed wasn’t nearly a good enough word to describe how he felt in this moment.

He pocketed his hands and stepped out from behind the wall, a bashful smile on his lips to match hers. The blush on his cheeks was impossible to miss and he swayed back and forth on his toes as he replied, “Good morning to you too, Ms.Y/L/N.”

She considered teasing him a bit more but decided against it when one of Shawn’s own students came up to tug on the side of his tucked-in button up shirt. Shawn looked down at the brunette boy who was staring right back at him with expectant eyes considering he hadn’t come back to the classroom in all but a minute.

Shawn pointed towards his door and began to back away, insisting, “I should probably get back to my own class now, eh?”

Y/N shut her eyes and grinned, “Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea.”

By the time she’d finished her sentence the little boy had pulled him completely behind the wall but she didn’t fail to hear his “See you at lunch!” before his door was slammed shut. She rolled her eyes and laughed before ducking into her own classroom.

Shawn tortured himself over that moment for the rest of that morning. His kindergartners were clever enough to realize something was wrong with him when they noticed him staring down at his demo macaroni art project, his face stoic. While the classroom buzzed with life around him, he remained sitting at the too-tiny table with a few of his other students, cheeks still blazing.

And the brunette boy from earlier, Liam, knew exactly why.

“I think teacher has a crush on miss Y/L/N.” He said to his friend nonchalantly, hands messy as he attempted to expertly place a piece of macaroni onto his masterpiece. 

His friend Jamia perked up at his claim, her eyes going wide and ginger curls bouncing. “How do you know?”

Liam shrugged, tipping his Elmer’s glue bottle and letting out a lot more than intended. “He acts weird around her!”

Jamia smiled and swooned, holding her hands to her heart. “Are they together?”

Liam only shook his head, peacefully continuing to add onto his art. It wasn’t until a few minutes later when Shawn stood that he came up with an idea. The little boy ordered Jamia to get him some construction paper and stickers, the girl excitedly coming back with the “secret supplies” a minute later. 

He explained the plan to his friend and they both got to work, Liam leading the plan. His tongue stuck out from his lips as he tried to keep his hands steady, writing out a few words to the best of his ability. He tried to sound out the words which helped him a little, and when they were done, the two folded the letter and placed a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker over it. Jamia added the final touch by gluing a random piece of macaroni to make it look more presentable.

Just in the nick of time, as well. Shawn walked around the class to check that everyone was doing their work correctly and when he got to the two’s table, excitement was written all over their faces. He should’ve known then and there that something was suspicious, his eyes flickering down to the sealed letter. However, he thought nothing of it, walking back to his desk.

Y/N wiped her hands, sighing to herself as she looked over her empty classroom. Everyone had been dismissed to recess and it was rare that she experienced silence like this, so every time she did, she made sure to take advantage of it. 

Leaning back in her seat, she rubbed over her eyes. She loved her students to death but jeez, did they wear her out. Her silence was broken when she heard some kind of rustling, making her begrudgingly open her eyes. She did so just in time to notice a tiny finger pushing a pink folded piece of cardboard underneath the crack of her door.

This brought a small smile to her lips and she stood from her squeaky seat, short heels clicking against the marble flooring. She bent down to grab the paper with the Thomas the Tank Engine sticker, her manicured fingers carefully opening it. 

DeEr Miss Y/L/N

Yu are s o beeOtEfull and s mart. I lov yu.

Frum, mister MendeZ

An uncontainable laugh ripped past her lips as she read over the letter that was so obviously written by one of Mr.Mendes’ kindergartners. The spelling gave that away immediately. 

She couldn’t deny how sweet it was, though. 

A knock on her door caused her head to whip back up, meeting the eyes of none other than Mr.Mendes himself through the window of the door. He wore his signature good-guy smile that only got wider once he noticed that he’d startled Y/N the slightest bit, the woman holding a hand to her heart. 

She quickly folded the letter back up and went to swing the door open, allowing Shawn to walk into her classroom. He took the liberty of shutting it behind himself and admired the view as she walked back to her desk, plopping down in her chair again. 

“Long day, huh?” Shawn asked, walking over and pulling a chair up to the other side of her desk. He then set down his plastic baggie and began unpacking his glass lunch containers. 

“You have no idea.” Y/N sighed, biting her lip and watching his perfect hands unpack his lunch. Her stomach growling was what jolted her from her trance and made her remember one of her frustrations. “I forgot my lunch at home and the tiny bag of Cheetos I had isn’t really helping me either.”

Shawn jumped into action at her words and he pushed one of his dishes her way, insisting that she take it. “It’s only two tacos, but it’s better than a bag of Cheetos.”

Y/N frowned and looked down at the food, “Are you sure? I could totally just get more chips.”

“I’m sure.” Shawn reinforced, his heart racing at her reluctant, kind attitude. He brought his leftover restaurant chips and salsa out and set them down on her desk, the two beginning to eat in silence.

He would sometimes catch a glimpse of her when she wasn’t looking, admiring how she tried to eat politely in front of him while still unknowingly having a piece of beef on the corner of her lip. This made him chuckle and her gaze shifted back to him, confusion written over her face.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing.” Shawn quickly shook his head, sporting a playful grin which she reciprocated.

The two’s relationship was very strange. It was a constant push and pull, an almost there but never really. He’d made it very clear from the first week of school that he thought she was amazing and she reciprocated those feelings, but no matter how the conversation went, it always ended with a “We’re co-workers, we can’t”.

Obviously, that never stopped Shawn from trying.

“What’s this?” Shawn cocked his head, recognizing the Thomas the Tank Engine stickered letter from his own classroom. 

Y/N licked her fingers and laughed, nodding towards the paper. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Shawn pursed his lips at her semi-scary words but reached to grab the paper anyways, opening it and quickly reading over the broken English. Y/N watched with a smirk once he set the letter down, trying to stifle his grin as he rubbed his temples.

“Anything you’d like to say for yourself?” She teased, leaning a little bit closer to him.

Shawn chuckled and shook his head. “Kids and their wild imaginations, right? But maybe it’s not wild. I heard kids are good at sensing things, ya’know? Like ghosts and stuff.”

Y/N gave him a puzzled look and Shawn realized what he’d just rambled about was strange so in an attempt to redeem himself, he clarified.

“B-But maybe instead of ghosts, it’s love. They can sense love. Maybe.”

Y/N laughed at his desperate attempt to regain his composure and explain himself but it was fruitless and Shawn realized this too, laughing along with her. This fit went on for about 30 seconds before she was wiping her eyes and leaning back in her seat, tapping on her desk with her nails.

Her rhythmic pace made him nervous as he leaned back as well, awaiting her next words. It was obvious that she wanted to say something but something was holding her back, and Shawn knew exactly what it was.

“Y/N.” Shawn whispered, not willing breaking their eye contact for a mere second. “Say it.”

She bit her lip and took a deep breath, scared to let the words leave her mouth. They’d been beating around the bush for so long and this isn’t the only time he’s offered her his lunch at all (She was a forgetful person) but today felt different and they both felt it. Everyone around them knew it- Even five year old kids, it seemed. It was time to stop the games.

“Maybe it is love.” Y/N nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. “I guess we’ll have to find out over dinner and a huge glass of wine, huh?”

Shawn’s eyes widened as she finally allowed him in- gave him a chance at the one thing he’d been yearning after for so long. “A-Are you serious?” He stuttered out, his smile that of an excited child’s.

“Yes, I’m serious.” She confirmed happily, beginning to help him pack up his lunch. “I think I’m finally ready to put myself out there again.. And to be frank, I really like you.”

“Well duh. Who doesn’t like me? I’m tall, handsome, and incredibly smart.” Shawn rolled his eyes just as the bell rung, signifying the second half of their school day. When she scoffed he continued, “So, uh, I’ll pick you up at seven?”

Y/N smiled widely and nodded, shooing the man out of her class just as kids began to pour back in.

“Sounds amazing. Now get to class, Mendes.”

[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (General: A - B)

Full, Superior Alternative on Google Docs.

So, I’ve been on the fence as to whether or not to publicly share this. In the end, it’s really nothing more than a project of self-indulgence. However, it is 100k+ words of self-indulgence and it does involve a story at least a decent number of my followers have read and liked. I also talk about a lot about Stevidot and all the characters in general for this project. Considering I haven’t written anything since the end of August (and real life interference is finally affecting my ability to reliably produce anything of substance since then), I figured it was only fair to offer something. I do still have the itch to write; I just really don’t feel comfortable doing it if I myself am not in a good state mentally or emotionally.

Why did I make this? Well, I’ve mentioned in the past that my other super-huge, much-more-popular story Travels of the Trifecta! eventually gained enough notoriety to not only make it to the Fanfic Rec list on TV Tropes, but a few readers were even gracious enough to make an actual trope page for the story itself. However, despite great temptations, I never once contributed to the page myself, for fear I’d never get the story done because of how addictive and time-consuming that site is. 

I was naively hoping Gem Ascension (or at least Bottled Up, which is easily my most popular story outside the main GA series) might get the same honors. But back then, I was also new to the fanbase and didn’t realize just how badly Stevidot as a ship was wrongfully considered an immoral ship... and still is. So that’ll probably never happen for real. 

That said, so long as I completed my initial 3-act series for GA, I considered it fair game to play around with tropes that I could associate with it. And I finished that sucker in record time. So, since the early months of Summer, I’ve slowly compiled a list of tropes for my GA continuity - so far for general coverage and character-specifics only. 

They’re similar to my GA Reference Tour posts in that aspect. Like I said, though, the entire document is over 100k in length, so no way is that all going up at once. The general listing is big enough to make me think it won’t fit in one post, either (especially as I continue to waste space rambling here). As the length alone proves, I was right to avoid doing this for Trifecta.

I wouldn’t consider it a complete (or even entirely accurate) listing; the character sections are very lop-sided in terms of content, but that’s a little justified, at least. Anyway, I did make some new art for certain character sections in future posts, so I figured this would at least be a neat way to share them. I’ve linked said tropes and everything. It’s really only worth a read if you’re that interested in getting some more in-depth details to the GAverse that I haven’t really covered here properly yet. But it does technically count as Stevidot content, so there’s the grab.

Beyond the spoiler cut, there are no marked spoilers. I’m not savvy enough to go THAT far with the style... plus, the main series has been complete since early March and it’s now October. Just... if you recently found the story, haven’t finished it, but actually intend to do so, look on at your own risk, I guess. 

Well, let’s see how much I can actually fit in here. And whether or not it’ll format properly. 

Edit: Turns out, only up to the K Tropes. Loooooovely~. Looks like I’m gonna play it safe and cut this after the Bs.

Edit II: As a bonus, I see the links being retained when I edit this post, but they won’t appear on the post itself. Just. Awesome. I may just put this up on Google Docs as an alternative if anyone cares that much about having the hyperlink access. That link is up. I’ll need to neuter these things something fierce so the hyperlinks will appear again.

GEM ASCENSION CONTINUITY TROPES

 GENERAL

 A Day in the Limelight: Act II as a whole functions somewhat like this; Hero Protagonist Peridot, save for the short final scene at the end of the act, is completely absent. She is frequently talked about and is featured in prerecorded Video Wills, but the 8 chapters Act II is comprised of are dedicated to the 8 remaining members of the main cast. Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, Connie, and Steven – characters who had much less time to feature in Act I due to being captured during the first half – all have chapters entirely dedicated to them. Greg, despite being part of GA from the start, also had limited time to feature in Act I past Chapter 3 due to being a Non-Action Guy. His chapter is one of the longest; Greg is also involved in a subplot with Bismuth and Lapis, and as of Chapter 7, he receives a Rank Up and officially becomes a legit member of the Crystal Gems.

A Fate Worse than Death: Pallification. Not only worse than a gem’s shattering, but even corruption. It’s similar to corruption in that a gem is technically still alive, but their consciousnesses are greatly compromised. While a corrupted gem is more akin to a mutated rabid animal until a cure is found, a pallified gem’s body – while usually maintaining the integrity of its physical form – has been rendered soulless. Once White Diamond supplants their conscious minds with her own, she boots them out to parts unknown (she doesn’t even care enough for her own subjects to figure out what exactly she’s doing to their conscious minds) with no way for them to find their way back to their original body. It’s not even made clear whether or not a gem’s consciousness is killed off outright the moment White infects them. So, a pallified gem is basically condemned to eternal purgatory. Naturally, even after the events of GA, there are still millions of gems afflicted with this condition with no known cure to ail them. With White Diamond herself shattered at this point, these victims are little more than vegetables at best.

A Friend in Need: It must be stressed that the objective from the start of Gem Ascension was not to overthrow the Diamond Authority (and certainly not to destroy Homeworld itself): it was to rescue friends who were in trouble. Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie were all imprisoned on Homeworld with no means to truly escape, so Steven resorted to sending an SOS to the Crystal Gems on standby on Earth. After taking charge of this mission, Peridot greatly emphasized their objective being a quick in-and-out after rescuing their friends as quietly as possible. Then the mission escalated with much higher stakes, but the objective remained the same. Act I concluded with all of the Crystal Gems safely escaping Homeworld and returning to Earth… save for Peridot. The follow-up mission, consequently, had the same objective: rescue Peridot, then escape. It was later amended to rescue all of Homeworld’s native gems once it was discovered that Homeworld itself was going to fall apart very soon. The revolution that came about with Homeworld’s destruction and the fall of the Diamonds were merely byproducts of the rescue mission. Only Pearl seemed to anticipate this kind of result, but none of the Crystal Gems were prepared to be responsible for keeping Era 3 going on Earth in Homeworld’s absence (as well as the Diamonds’). 

Acceptable Targets: In-Universe, the lower you are in the caste system on Homeworld, the more you’re expected to take abuse of any kind from any gem of a higher class. This is Who I Am goes further into depth on this topic; it’s revealed Peridots have no rights when it comes to being mistreated by gems above their class. Even worse, it’s illegal for a Peridot to antagonize a gem of a higher caste for any reason – yet it’s perfectly legal for elite gems, such as quartzes, to do whatever they wish to a Peridot so long as it doesn’t permanently damage them or compromise whatever mission they’re assigned together on. Yes, even if a low-caste gem is raped (like Peridot almost was), it’s legal and the victimized gem is fully expected to suck it up and deal with it.

Adaptation Expansion: Not only does the GA series serve as an alternative to Change Your Mind, but it frequently brings up events from past canon episodes. This isn’t done for nostalgia’s sake, but rather to expand on said scenes and observe them with a different lens. Through this, scenes in the show readers have seen multiple times can yield some new discoveries with the additional details and questions posed within the GA narrative.

Adaptational Alternate Ending: Takes place shortly after Escapism in the show. The first few minutes of Change Your Mind are canon to the fic (mainly Blue Diamond’s Heel-Face Turn), but it’s completely off the rails from there on out. So, it’s basically an alternative ending to Season 5.

After-Action Healing Drama: In Chapter 5 of Act I, after Peridot got caught in a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown with 9FC and sustained severe injuries in the previous chapter, the recently-rescued Steven uses Lion to take himself and Peridot somewhere private so he can heal her many injuries.

All For Nothing: The battle with White Diamond in Chapter 6 of Act III is this, as that wasn’t the real White Diamond to begin with. The Crystal Gems just wasted a load of time and energy on a proxy, and it’s the realization of this trope that causes said battle to abruptly turn in White’s favor, ending in a Curb-Stomp Battle with the Crystal Gems on the losing end.

Due to this aspect of the battle, it means Rainbow Quartz 2.0’s scheme to siphon off some of White Diamond’s essence (to later use for a cure for corruption and pallification when they return to Earth, knowing White’s never going to help willfully) was also a waste, and what Pearl and Steven gained was just the essence of a bunch of dead gems. Pearl has a bit of a minor Heroic BSoD in Chapter 7 over this, but Garnet pulls her out of it and encourages her to not give up on the endeavor.

All Up to You: The premise of Gem Ascension: Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and Greg step up to rescue their A-Team friends against all odds. 

Alternate Continuity: This story takes place shortly after Escapism. Beyond the first few minutes of Change Your Mind, it becomes canon divergent from there.

Anachronic Order: After Gem Ascension’s completion, a set of stories was released throughout the month of May that all took place in Gem Asension’s continuity (save for one, technically, which took place a while before GA starts and has no connections to said continuity outside of being referenced in a few of the other stories) for Stevidot Month. Justified, somewhat, as they were only released out of order due to representing at least one of three prompts assigned for the five weeks of Stevidot Month, and Word of God planned much of this on the fly. A couple of stories were pre-prepared (Plans Change and This is Who I Am’s first chapter), but didn’t fit any prompts other than the ones assigned to the final two weeks. Since May’s conclusion, all stories (in their AO3 incarnations) have been put in a collection and are arranged in chronological order.

Bottled Up is the only story that averts this, as it chronologically occurs before all the others listed here and was also the first one released in May. However, since it does take place a good amount of time before GA’s starting point, it can easily be read as a standalone. The same cannot be said for the stories following it.

My Time is Now, which properly introduces Sphalerite (who only got an unnamed, featureless cameo in Act III and spoke the very last lines of the story), takes place no more than half an hour after Act III’s conclusion, but it was also the last story released in May. 

Second-to-last was Plans Change, which took place only a few hours after the aforementioned story. 

This is Who I Am chronologically falls roughly half a week after that, but its first chapter was released in the middle of the month.

Peri-dise: The Capitalist Anarchy takes place about 1-2 months after GA Act III, making it currently second-to-last in GA’s overall continuity, but was the third story released overall during May’s second week.

It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is takes place in late August, making it the furthest-removed from GA’s timeline by 3-4 months (until the release of Our Tomorrow – a direct sequel to this story taking place exactly one year later, but won’t be listed here as it was made long after Stevidot Month ended). It was the second story released for Stevidot Month. 

Anyone Can Die: The moment White Pearl and Blue Diamond die (relatively close to the same time) by Chapter 6 of Act I makes it apparent no punches will be pulled in this story; especially after it’s made clear how much of a Complete Monster White Diamond is in this continuity. Yellow Diamond falls two chapters later, and at least for a short while it’s presumed Peridot met a similar fate. There’s also the concept of pallification, which renders several hundred gems functionally dead in Act I alone. The majority of the gems left on the planet end up pallified by the time the Crystal Gems return to Homeworld in Act III. By the climax of said act, White Diamond self-destructs. On a smaller scale, almost every original character introduced in GA either dies or is already dead upon introduction. 5XF is the only one so far who averts this.

Astral Projection: An aspect of Steven’s developing powers in Act III. During Chapter 4, an all-pink astral projection of Steven travels into Peridot’s subconscious to find out what White Diamond did to fragment her mind. A bit later in Chapter 8, astral projections of Steven and Peridot are seen superimposed over the corporeal forms of Pink Diamond 2.0 and Chartreuse Diamond to signify both coming to terms with their Alter Egos becoming part of them and becoming whole.

Autodoc: The restoration machines that are abundant and scattered across Homeworld, which the Crystal Gems use to speed up the recovery process for Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl at the end of Chapter 6 of Act I.

Badasses in Distress: All of the imperiled Crystal Gems at the start of the story qualify. After Act I, Peridot takes their place.\

The Big Damn Kiss: Steven gives Peridot a pretty significant one in Act I’s final chapter right in the middle of a large and busy battlefield before they split ways to help their friends. Punctuated with a deliberate Shout-Out to Gem Drill.

Big Damn Reunion: Chapters 6 and 7 of Act I is this, as is Chapter 5 of Act III for the follow-up rescue mission.

Birthday Episode: It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is serves as one for Peridot. It also loosely applies to Steven, as his birthday is less than two weeks before hers and is frequently referenced (the pair’s chronological ages are 14 and 15 respectively by this point). Our Tomorrow is a direct sequel to the aforementioned story taking place exactly a year later, making Peridot 15 and Steven 16.

Bittersweet Ending: GA’s conclusion in a nutshell. The Diamond Authority is no longer a threat to anyone, but Homeworld is destroyed, meaning the Crystal Gems have to directly deal with the fallout of this particular revolution while ensuring Earth’s safety. Now they have thousands, if not millions of gems to help adapt to life on Earth and teach the concept of independence and free thought. Homeworld’s colony planets are doomed to civil disorder and collapse unless the heroes directly help, but that also presents a risk if they don’t play their cards right. Peridot and Steven’s lives are irrevocably shaken in their own right, and they’re the ones who’ll have to be the most involved in helping the Homeworld refugees. And there’s still the matter of curing not only the corrupted gems, but now the pallids as well. While GA ended the best way it possibly could, given the circumstances, there’s still a lot of work ahead for the Crystal Gems… and a lot of it will be unpleasant/awkward at best and outright life-threatening at worst. 

Blank White Void: The nature of the Pocket Dimensions featured in Act III, save for the one Steven is initially imprisoned in at the end of Chapter 3.

[theblognoonewillread-blog1]

Preface

It’s been a hard year for a lot of people. The current administration has been full of fraud, ill will, open bigotry, and more. That has weighed down on my mind, as it has with many others. But in my case, I already had a fairly full dance card in terms of personal issues that can exarcebate the clinical depression I was diagnosed with decades ago.

I do not fit the profile of the average American today, at least according to social media. I’m in my 50’s, I am a man of color, I’m gay, and I’m single. I am also currently unemployed and do not have a permanent dwelling thanks to Hurricane Harvey, which has complicated the matter – no job, no proof of income, how does one get a place without having to turn to horror-style properties on Craigslist?

I am also not “hot”, not “uneducated” (a four-year degree seems to be of little use to all but the most business-driven in America now), not carrying rippling abs or sporting a huge member, the lack of reputation meaning getting it on with anyone is practically impossible.

For some time I have had a hard time finding my “tribe” - that group of people, that community, with which one should be practically inseparable because they’re so alike, so together, so similar in energy. I’m a Midwesterner who relocated to the Gulf Coast over 30 years ago – for work, of course. For maybe 6 or 7 years I had a sort of built-in community but it was never a completely square fit. Then I found a gay-friendly community in town but ran into a variety of issues there also. Gay America has many of the same problems straight America has – just a matter of degrees.

So, the complicated nature of my things not working out left me, this holiday, with no invites to dinner, no home to go to, and – even more annoying – no permanent place to call home. For over four months now, an extended-stay hotel has been my “apartment.” The morning light comes in too early, and I often hear the roar of a highway nearby. It is a utilitarian place, not a personal one.

As an alternative to sleeping in the entire day – a depressing prospect unto itself – I decided to drive to a casino one state over and enjoy their sumptuous buffet. The annoying thing was, thousands of other people had the exact same idea. It made the casino aisles crowded with people aimlessly drifiting about, walll-eyed and (in some cases) predictably tipsy. It occurred to me that casinos have become a sort of adult day-care center. A younger adult child can drop his aging mother or father at the door, then drive off while the parent drifts around, entertaining himself/herself with the prospect of getting rich, or at least the occasion thrill of hitting a win on the slots.

So here I was, sitting among them, practically speaking with nothing in common with them except our need to distract ourselves. My distraction had a purpose – to get through the day, to survive it. When contacts on social media said they hoped I was having a great day I left it open, silence. I didn’t want to risk disapproval by telling them the truth. Miss Manners might say that not “dumping” on friends is good social policy for holidays, but I have to wonder if she’s ever had bouts of depression or loneliness.

Coincidence and, perhaps, universal cruelty – as I was typing this I heard Gloria Lynne singing a song I’d not heard. I used SoundHound to identify it - “All Alone.” Thanks, universe.

There is a fine line in America between letting others know what downers are going on in your life and being labeled a “drama queen.” I feel perpetually like I have to do a Herculean editing act on what I say to (as I thought earlier today) present my situation in a palatable fashion so as not to send others running. The problem is that in doing that, I don’t get the benefit of just dumping it all out there, of letting raw emotion drive how I communicate. I resent having to edit what I say. And it’s worse on social media like Facebook – when I admit I’m not having a good time I get crickets. One guy who asked about my job situation today, when I looked at our message feed, I realized we hadn’t spoken in two months. I sent a quick holiday greeting and got one back. I can only imagine he’s tired of bad news so maybe I’ll do what I’ve done with so many others in recent years – add him to my Restricted List: we have a connection in form only, but little else. On such a list, no one sees my warts – they see the edited “media feed” to entertain.

It has been said that depression is the fastest growing disease in America today. I can absolutely see why – no one feels like they’re being heard. No one feels anyone gets them in the workplace, in dating, in their communities, in their families, anything. And the authority and moral leaders we used to have, they’re all on the take in various ways so no one is there to do anything for us when we hurt.

This situation, of course, is worse for folks like me – older, black and middle-aged are three whammies today’s society can’t relate to. It’s never happened that anyone has ever asked me point-blank, “Why don’t you go to a coffee house with people your own age?” That’s because no one has opened such a place. Not many businesses market to the middle-aged, it’s assumed we’re washed up, don’t spend any money and are set in our ways. And we’re not sexy – so no one presumably wants to look at us. I think a coffee place where anyone over 35 was made not just to feel tolerated, but appreciated. Right now, the closest we have to that is either Starbucks or the bars – nothing in between.

I’d love a middle-aged friendly place. I wouldn’t want it to be exclusively that age group, I like diversity, just be interesting is all I ask. Boring people come in all ages, classes, education levels.

I am a bit of a complicated person. Those complications are part of why I think I have largely been a social misfit. I don’t act like anyone else (less superficial). I don’t carry myself the same way as others. The whole migration to typing messages rather than actually talking is part of my depression – a female friend of mine I’ve known for years, we don’t even really talk on the phone! I don’t like this! Years ago a guy I worked with, he and I used to talk on the phone and get together once a week to watch TV at his apartment. We did that for YEARS. He was the first guy I came out to.

Since then I have had “relationship” (I guess you could call it) fall apart for a variety of reasons. One guy is a bad listener. Another has no time (too “busy”) - that is almost always the kiss-off. It gets worse when it comes to business or getting a job hookup – I know NOBODY. Guys I worked with at previous jobs? No support. Not the way it happens for others. It has occurred to me that for the 30-plus years I spent in my last city, only TWICE did anyone else ever offer to walk a resume in. The results both cases were nil, but at least I had that. The irony of that is that I work in the information technology industry – I’m supposed to be connected to other smart people. Sadly, the industry has become commoditized so everyone’s disposable. Even my colleagues at a consulting place I used to work for, I have nearly zero contact with – that should have been gold.

About the name of this blog: I chose it because I have the idea that the average American right now, and the younger, the more pertinent this is, feels entitled to be happy. They don’t want to hear about anyone else’s issues, they don’t want to learn to be a part of a larger whole like a multi-aged community or coalition – they want their gaming systems, their movie and TV services, and they want their social media. And that is ALL. I really wish I could be around in 30 years to see where many of these folks are at – whether the depression we have now is worse then because that generation never bothered to learn from others, because they chose to separate themselves.

I met a guy at an art show several months ago. Showed him my business card and he made some comment about how millennials are supposed to be more open-minded and carefree. Then he did a sprint away from me, figuratively, that would have made Carl Lewis jealous. Tried to contact him on social media and got partially blocked. That was enough for me to drop it at that point.

The people I wish would read this blog almost certainly won’t. They’re too “busy”, too “distracted”, too “happy.” Perhaps some of my resentment is little other than envy. Maybe I’m seeing something that isn’t real, that isn’t there. But it’s so … uneven. So that is why, in my tag line, I say that if you’re already happy, this blog is not for you. This is for the rest of us who you studiously avoid being involved with because you feel our adversity would contaminate your life and lifestyle.

I may not post here often, and I actually tried doing a blog like this years ago. Maybe someone out there will see himself in this blog. I wish I had a positive message to share but right now, I don’t.

One of my big resentments right now is with the so-called universe. I jokingly have said that because there’s only one universe, it doesn’t have any competition and – like any monopoly – can afford to be sloppy. That is not a completely original idea; I actually stole it from a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon when he was telling his father about Santa Claus – not entirely unrelated.

I have found myself in recent years railing against the universe, feeling that it is – intentionally (it seems) – withholding good things from me. Why, for example, am I in one of the ten largest cities in the U.S. but not getting “run into” smart people, connected people, whatever? I would be disgusted to find out IT thinks the problem is entirely mine. Really? A group of people take a 400-year headstart and you can’t make any corrections for that down the line? We have to wait centuries for social justice to come? How powerful are you?

And then – as we’re repeatedly told ad nauseam – we’re not the center of the universe, so much so that the message is almost, “Don’t want anything, ever.” Were human nature based exclusively on Buddhism with its concept of detachment it might have something there. But right now? Not so much.

I am not asking to be the “center” of the universe. I am just wanting to be the center of a tribe – to be  connected, celebrated, loved. It is sorely lacking and between my emotional depression and my inability to earn money, it is costing me a FORTUNE.

By the way – if you’re a fundamentalist or an evangelical, TUNE OUT. Way too many of you folks could have changed the result of the last election but you didn’t. You harp on the same issues over and over – sexual minorities, racial minorities, all you’re about is separatism and punishment. I daresay if Christ returned to earth you’d run him in as a Middle-Easternerner and bitch about him on AM talk radio.

That is it for the moment. This is an experiment. If it doesn’t work I could wind up living on the streets – that is, if I can’t get all my ducks in a row and the universe doesn’t give a shit.

Stay tuned.