#either way idk what they hoped to gain about coming out with their info anyways except for maybe just. finally having a reason to say it?

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

that's another thing though, isn't it? because i can go on and on about how he's dating someone who's been a fan of him for years and how fucked up that is and no one will listen but we (meaning the human collective) have just barely learned that some relationship dynamics are fucked up despite the ages of the participants. when one of those vine sauce boys was just having one night stands with his fans people were uproariously angry... and that's not AS bad for various reasons but still bad in a way that is now being ignored. it is never okay to take advantage of your status as a content creator to enter into any type of relation/situationship with someone, especially when you're as popular as He is. however, i'm aware relationships have certain contexts and, as an outsider, you can't and *shouldn't* try to come up with that context that you'll never know for sure... BUT, as i've said a billion times in the last year or so, knowing that someone has been watching you and a fan of you for a majority of your career should AT THE VERY LEAST make you step back and question whether or not to pursue a relationship with them. if at all.

[artofkace]

Adora and Glimmer role-swap!AU for a ko-fi request - AKA Glimmer’s Gay Panic “No One Told Me Princesses Were Hot” AU! Anyways I’ve been thinking about this nonstop for days bc it’s amazing ;__;

Edit: I decided I wanted to add to this and put the way I see this AU working in my head (bc there’s a lot of ways it could go down) just to clear things up! Info below the cut!

- Angella and Micah were both captured and sent to Beast Island when Glimmer was a toddler and Glimmer grew up as a Horde cadet being told that the other princesses had taken her parents and destroyed her kingdom (Lying to her like they did Scorpia). They’re both alive but they can’t escape and Glimmer thinks they are dead.

- The Moonstone isn’t under Horde control, but Angella cant access it either - it’s underground in the ruins of Bright Moon being guarded by that beast they fought during the coronation in s4.

- Glimmer grows up in the Horde with Catra. She can’t teleport or do sparkle magic, but she can do regular spells. Shadow Weaver dotes on Glimmer as Micah’s daughter (and someone who could be her Magic heir) - Glimmer tries to stay on SW’s good side and likes learning magic, but something about SW creeps her out and she prefers her time with the other cadets. She loves fighting and learning to spar and she and Catra are friend-rivals, constantly trying to one-up each other.

- Adora was found by the survivors of the Fall of Bright Moon and was raised by Razz, The Head Guard Lady, Bow’s Dads and a bunch of other people who all took shelter in the Whispering Woods - child of a village kind of thing. She has known she was She-Ra for a long time (she found the sword as a child), but she hasn’t found Light Hope yet (Razz was keeping her back until she was ready) so she still doesn’t know much about the powers and can’t control them well. Bow is her best friend since birth basically and they train together as much as they can wandering the woods together.

- Adora wants to get out and fight the Horde, but the people who raised her are scared of losing She-Ra if she goes out so ill-trained/not ready to fight. Adora thinks she’ll never be ready unless she goes out and fights. She wants to get all the princesses together and charge the Horde and take them down.

- When she meets Glimmer she sees a natural leader who knows the Horde - and someone who is obviously a princess! Adora pretty quickly recognizes her as the Lost Princess of Bright Moon when she compares Glimmer to a mural of Angella and she does her best to convince Glimmer of what really happened - that the Horde took her family from her, not the Rebellion.

- This makes Glimmer eventually decide to join. Catra is sent on a mission to go get her and she decides Glimmer’s sudden switch is just a power ploy (and a way to skip gaining ranks and go straight for the top). She decides SHE’LL be the one to take over the Horde first, from the inside. Glimmer tries to convince her thats not how it is, but Catra won’t have it- basically their fallout goes as Adora and Catra’s did ;–;

and idk!!! it’s just… such a cool au I loved thinking about it and coming up with this stuff!!

[angelicmichael]

Okay so I have a ton of inspo to write for Stan after last nights episode and I have a lot of fic ideas and concepts I can’t get out of my brain so.. here they are lmfao. The first concept is fluffy and wholesome but the other ones are pretty dark and most involve death and blood.. fair warning hehe. ALSO if any writers see this; feel free to write something based off one of these if you’d like !! 🥺💖 I don’t mind :)

Idk why but I rlly wanna write something domestic and fluffy.. maybe some fluff with no plot djdjd. But maybe reader and Stan are friends, and are hiding in his cabin from the cannibals after a close call (maybe they decided to go hiking earlier and ran into them) and get a bit.. distracted afterwards 👁. Maybe the scare of the cannibals make them have a heart to heart and then.. they decide to stay the night in the cabin bc they don’t wanna leave bc their still scared. And maybe it’s also stormy outside or somethin hehe. and they just 👁 make out 👁 and cuddle 👁 and fall asleep together 👉🏻👈🏻. And their just both rlly grateful that they’re both alive 🥺 and together 🥺🥺

Maybe reader comes to surprise Stan bc they’ve been dating for a while but.. he’s been distant lately. Not picking up calls, and just acting rlly unlike himself. Reader doesn’t exactly know that theirs cannibals in the forest but she knows that theirs something, or that Stan believes that there’s something so she gets concerned and goes to see him. She goes straight into his cabin (maybe she has a spare key.. and it’s night so he shouldn’t be busy) and she sees his jacket, his hat, his gun.. reader grabs a flashlight and starts to look outside for him and finds a trail of blood.. reader immeadietly starts to panic but before she can probably react she sees something running in her direction full force.. but she doesn’t know it’s Stan until he literally is in her arms hugging her. Stan runs into her practically and reader realizes he’s bleeding when she sees blood on her shirt when they pull away.. He has a huge stomach wound and he’s going into shock. Reader is in complete disbelief that this is actually happening and that he could actually die, but Stan is still talking to her.. he urges her to leave and to not wait around for him and to not bother getting help. He tells her about the cannibals and reader doesn’t believe him but.. as she goes to leave to get help anyway she sees a shadow out of the corner of her eye and realizes that he probably wasn’t bullshitting. Reader goes to be with Stan and comforts him in his final moments 🥺

This is so random and not in depth/plot heavy at all but I’m just thinking about Stan confiding in reader about the cannibals.. and then she decides to playfully bite him. At first it’s a joke.. and their dating so it’s not really that weird but then she hears him moan and she completely stops.. purely laughing at the fact that he has a fucking biting kink and how ironic it is (ig this is just me saying that I think Stan has a biting kink LMAO)

Okay so I kinda hate the ending of the episode tbh so.. here’s a fix it fic idea hehe. Major spoiler warning but instead of Stan dying.. maybe he sort of is a ally to the cannibals?? Not necessarily becomes one but more so protects them and in return they protect him u know?? But to make this a fic.. maybe reader and Stan have been dating for a while and she doesn’t realize his ‘alliance’ until she goes to the forest w him.. She sees how the cannibals won’t touch him and she’s beyond fucking bewildered. However the cannibals want reader, but Stan is v protective 😌 and maybe he shoots a cannibal or two and ofc it ends in fluff.. Stan starts fussing over reader and her (little to nonexsisting) wounds and even threatens to quit his job for her but reader tells him to stop bc she’s okay 🥺 but maybe the fic ends w him quitting his job and them both leaving the national park <3

Y’all knew this was coming but a fic where Stan is a cannibal (but not full on feral tho) is necessary LOL. I’m kinda thinking about fairytale or little red hiding hood au for this one?? Maybe reader goes into the forest bc she knows that women have been going missing as of late and she’s curious 👁 and wants to investigate. She goes into the forest and finds Stan, who automatically seems sus bc of how out of it he seems.. his clothes are stained red in a couple places.. he barely makes eye contact and reader can’t help but to marvel at how sharp his teeth seem to be.. the more they talk the closer he gets.. to the point where it would almost be uncomfortable if he wasn’t so attractive and charming.. even with the scent of iron heavy on his breath, reader can’t help but to want to kiss him, to feel his mouth on hers but she also starts to feel like it’s not necessarily a choice. He seems like the primary suspect so reader feels if she wants to survive she’s going to have to seduce him… and not to mention if she truly wants to get info out of him about the missing women.

Okay so after seeing @stanvogel ’s post, I’m just thinking about Michael x Stan so.. here’s a Michael x Stan one 👉🏻👈🏻 hehe. It’s another normal day for Stan.. doing quick checks and patrols throughout the forest. Stan loved his job, he really did but this was the part he always dreaded the most. He gives the forest half a glance as he walks through - hoping that something wouldn’t happen to catch his eye or pop out at him. Hoping he could just go back to his cabin and have a easy shift but of course, he just had to see someone. Seeing people isolated in the forest wasn’t something that Stan was unaccustomed with, but the fact the individual he saw was currently drenched in blood and was still alive was something to marvel at. Stan quickly introduced himself and asked what the fuck he was doing.. after babbling some shit about satan and saying his name was ‘Michael’.. Stan had heard enough. He didn’t exactly want to take care of this lunatic but he wasn’t going to leave him out to be eaten and have his intestines ripped out either.. not on his shift if he could help it. Stan brought Michael back to his cabin, carefully cleaning up his wounds and trying not to stare at his crystal blue eyes for too long.. or his lips. Harshly reminding himself this was a guest, not someone he should even think about asking out but Michael surprisingly took the leap first. Asking if Stan was single and that’s all it took. Stan wasn’t sure if he agreed to start seeing him because he was genuinely interested or because he didn’t want him going back out to the forest and gaining the attention of the cannibals.. either way, Stan couldn’t really argue. He was simply happy that he could finally capture someone’s attention and keep it for once. Someone who would stay with him and make this job a little less lonely.. Antichrist or not.

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4

[windscattered]

Previously

Orlando tensed, ready for sudden movements. Slowly, he looked to Daniel, to measure his reaction to figure out the next move.

Daniel looked horrified. His face had fallen pale and his posture was like a cornered animal’s. Just when Orlando thought he’d faint, his eyes slowly looked down and glazed over, his shoulders drooping in utter defeat.

Orlando decided to try and salvage this. “I am not sure what you’re thinking, but I’m here to just pick up some stuff…” Orlando hesitated. Should he use Daniel’s real name? “... he donated to charity,” Orlando said, putting on his just-a-regular-citizen voice. “Yesterday he donated a coffee maker and a microwave, today it’s some clothes he doesn’t wear anymore.”

The woman’s eyes snapped to Orlando and he immediately understood why Daniel looked so terrified. Her gaze felt like a hawk zeroing in on a mouse. “And who are you?”

Good thing Orlando had learned to mask his emotions from a young age. “My name is Basil. I work for Christine’s Shelter for the Homeless.”

The woman raised her eyebrows. “Mm. And you were here yesterday as well?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The woman smiled, sickeningly sweet and hiding a dangerous edge. “Interesting. And why did you feel the need to shut my security cameras off while you were here?”

Orlando put a confused look on his face. “The cameras? I… I’m afraid I have no idea what that’s about.”

She narrowed her eyes and stared at Orlando for a long time. “Leave,” she said coldly. “Or I’ll call the police on you.”

“Okay, sheesh,” Orlando said, pretending to be surprised and only slightly peeved. “No need to get so testy.” He left the house and let the brief disguise drop.

This was bad. If the woman was anything like Orlando knew abusive people to be, she would tighten her grip on Daniel now that she’s witnessed an escape attempt. Orlando did manage to play it off as something else, but he was fairly sure she hadn’t bought it. Only an idiot would have looked at the scene right at the front door and thought it was nothing but illicit. Orlando’s stomach twisted as he thought how the woman would treat Daniel from now on… He felt awful for having to leave Daniel there for one more day, but it was either that or risk getting arrested.

Orlando racked his brain for a new plan. Now he not only had to sneak Daniel out of the house, he had to make sure the woman wouldn’t track them down and find him again. Of course, it was surprisingly easy to disappear into the lower levels and be almost completely untracked. Orlando had an advantage in this, since he’s been trained since childhood to track other people while avoiding to be tracked himself.

The hardest part, however, would be getting Daniel and Fang out of the house… The only way Orlando saw how to do that was to wait until the woman was at work and then try again, while hoping it’d work this time.

Orlando sighed and rubbed his forehead. 

As soon as Orlando got home, he texted Daniel, asking if he was okay and reassuring him he was willing to try again if he needed to. He didn’t get an answer in a few days.

On the third day, he finally got a response.

Daniel: Hey sorry for that

Orlando scrambled to reply as fast as he could.

Me: Don’t worry about it! Are you okay?

Daniel: This isnt delano tho sorry

Daniel: This is the guy with the mohawk do you remember me

Me: Oh, yes, I do

Daniel: My names adriano btw

Daniel: Anyway delanos… hes not fine

Daniel: Delanos like… idk how to describe it its like he gave up on escaping its like hes just going to accept that this is his life now

Daniel: Its scary as fuck dude

Daniel: Mom took his phone away like hes a teenager thats so fucking messed up

Daniel: I stole his phone back but he insisted i have it just in case

Daniel: Im fucking terrified moms literally holding him as a prisoner here

Daniel: I never knew mom could do something like this

Daniel: We cant stay here

Daniel: You gotta help us

The texts popped up one after another in rapid succession. Orlando waited until he was done.

Me: Okay. Let me make some things clear. Does Delano still want out?

Daniel: Idk man he’s so defeated

Daniel: Im going to drag him out tho

Daniel: My moms a psycho this place is killing him

Me: Alright. I’ll drag him out too, if you want me to

Daniel: Why is that even a question of course i want you to get us the fuck out of here

Daniel: Theres no way i can trust mom again now that ive seen what shes really like

Me: Of course. And you want to come along too?

Daniel: Yeah

Orlando frowned. Hiding two people and a dog might be tricky. But he would at least try.

Me: I’ll do what I can

Daniel: Delano said you need to talk to lillith

Orlando frowned. Lillith? The founder of the Sex Workers’ Union? The Queen of the Low Levels? Wait, why was Orlando surprised that Daniel knew her? Daniel was a sex worker, of course he would belong in the Union.

Contacting Lillith would be a good call, though. She was notoriously protective of sex workers. If they were lucky, she could help with this situation… 

Me: I’ll do that. Thank you

Me: I’ll contact you when I have a plan

Me: Try to hold on until then

Daniel: Thank you

Daniel: Well do our best

Orlando had worked for Lillith a few times before, but he didn’t know her personally. He had to wonder if she would respond well to him asking a favour, as he wasn’t a part of the union. Figuring he had to at least try, he sent Lillith a text.

Me: Hello, Miss Lillith. I am contacting you today on behalf of one of your workers. He is currently held against his will by an abusive person and he needs help getting out. He and I both would appreciate your help.

Lillith took a short time to reply.

Miss Lilly: What’s the worker’s name? Do you have an address?

Me: I believe his name is Delano

Orlando also sent the address to her.

Miss Lilly: Jesus fucking christ

Miss Lilly: He just had to go piss of that bitch out of all people

Me: What do you mean?

Miss Lilly: It’s going to be bitch and a half busting him out, is what I mean

Miss Lilly: I’ve heard rumours that this woman has no chill

Orlando thought back when she had looked at him when he had been at her house. He could believe that.

Me: I am not surprised

Miss Lilly: Yeah. I need more info on the sitch. Can I text Delano? Does he have his phone?

Me: His phone is secured, but he doesn’t have access to it. You can text the number and get an answer, though

Miss Lilly: Wdym? Who has his phone?

Me: We can trust him. He’s also stuck in the house with Delano. We need to get him out as well

Miss Lilly: So there’s two people we need to get out?

Me: Two people and a dog

Miss Lilly: Hmm. It’s going to be tricky, but possible

Miss Lilly: How much stuff are they going to have?

Me: I got most of Delano’s stuff out, so only a little of his, but most of Adriano’s. I believe he has a guitar that he’s going to want to take along.

Me: Delano also has a broken arm at the moment

Miss Lilly: God damn

Miss Lilly: Okay. No panic. I have a plan

***

And so, a few days later, Orlando was headed back to the house, with four sex workers (Ana, Sara, Jessie and Rosa, as Orlando learned) sent by Lillith. “To help carry stuff,” one of them had explained. Orlando hadn’t complained.

“How do we know she won’t appear to interrupt us again?” Orlando asked, while the group were in an elevator, on their way to the upper levels.

“Lils got it,” Jessie said.

“If Lils says she got it, she got it,” Sara agreed.

“We trust Lils,” Rosa said with a nod.

Orlando nodded slowly. He supposed he should trust her too, then.

The group arrived at the house and put on masks that would scramble their faces on any cameras that caught them.

“Let’s go, girls,” Ana said with a grin. “And boy, I guess.”

The group marched to the door and rang the doorbell before Orlando could protest.

“Relax, we’re wearing masks,” Jessie said, waving her hand.

“Yes, but I’d still like to avoid getting caught on security cameras,” Orlando muttered as Rosa hammered the doorbell.

The door opened and Adriano was behind it, looking irritated. “For fuck’s sake, I heard you the fir…” he trailed off as Rosa and Ana screamed.

“Oh my gawd, you’re cuuute!”

Adriano flushed up to his ears, immediately matching his hair. He looked like he was panicking as his eyes landed on Orlando. “Be… BG?”

“It’s me,” Orlando said with a sheepish smile that Adriano didn’t even see. “I got some extra help with me this time.”

“Alright…”  Adriano let the group in.

“Jesus christ, this place is fancy as shit,” Sara said as they stepped in.

“God daaaamn,” Ana breathed. “I wouldn’t mind switching places with Delano.”

“Why did you bring sex workers here?” Adriano whispered to Orlando.

“They’re here to help,” Orlando whispered back. “Be respectful.”

Daniel appeared and the girls screamed. “DELANOOOO!”

Daniel looked like a deer in the headlights as the girls rushed him, all talking over each other.

“Where have you been?”

“I missed youuu!”

“When did you get a sugar daddy?” 

“Can I have him once you’re done with him?”

Adriano stared at this unfolding with utter disbelief.

Orlando clapped his hands to gain everyone’s attention. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but we’re on a schedule here.”

“Agreed,” Jessie said. “Let’s get a move on. We can talk while walking. Where’s your stuff?”

So the group dispersed to gather the luggage they needed, spiced with chaotic chattering from the girls.

“Can we steal something?”

“We should steal something!”

“I really don’t care if you do,” Adriano said.

“Oh shit, really?!” Rosa said, eyes wide. “I was just joking!”

“Go fucking nuts,” Adriano said, “cause as much grief to her as you can.”

The girls exchanged looks. “Let’s steal her shampoo!” They ran off. Adriano followed, for some reason.

“Jesus christ,” Delano sighed.

“Everything okay?” Orlando asked.

“Yeah,” Delano said. “Just overwhelmed. I haven’t even thought about sex work for the whole time I’ve been here. It all feels so distant now.”

Orlando nodded slowly. “Are you going to continue doing it once you’re free?”

Delano was quiet for a moment. Just as he drew a breath to answer, the girls and Adriano returned.

“Thanks for letting us rob your mom, sweetie,” Sara said, pinching Adriano’s cheek. “We don’t have to buy skincare for a few weeks now.”

Adriano was blushing again. “No problem.”

As the groups got ready to leave again, Orlando noticed that Delano freezed. “What’s wrong?”

Delano shifted his weight. “I… I just have a bad feeling, is all.”

Orlando nodded again. Last time they had gotten this far, their plan had failed at this same step.

“Don’t worry,” Jessie grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Lils said she’s making sure we’ll get to the lower levels safely.”

“Yeah, trust Lils,” Ana said.

Delano looked down at Fang on her leash, who was looking up at him, tail wagging. Finally, Delano nodded and looked back up at the group. “Let’s go.”

[lexicals]

Jfc I am BUZZING what a fucking episode. The first part of this is mostly screaming tbh

I love happy juno but also grumpy juno is my favourite welcome back

I love how firm peter is with him in stopping him from spiralling? It's good

Rita coming into her own!! Learning lessons!! Growing up!! Yes!!!

SO MUCH INFO THOUGH. Dark matters wants the crime family and they want them alive and they don't know anything about two of them but!! Which two!!

You'd presume nureyev is one but..... who knows ahh

This is gonna be mostly screaming I have no time for coherent thought rn

Juno being protective over rita godd

Juno comforting rita while she's panicking ;;

OH HEY FUCK THE NAME? I MEAN LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY BUT RITAAAA

Me thinking no surely he wouldn't have just abandoned them and breathing a sigh of relief when he hadn't only for my boy to DO THIS?? ET TU PETER??

PETER

NUREYEV

DESERVES

TO

BE

BULLIED

I'm not serious but my guy had BETTER have a good reason for this. I would hope it's a long con of some kind or SOMETHING but PETER

Anyway if these people know his name idk if this is either 1. Blackmail or 2. Maybe he didn't get away from brahma all by himself after new kinshasa after all. Maybe he had help and it's finally come back to bite him in the ass. Who knows but I'm fucking 👀 PETER.

MISTER WHO

Also. Robot kisses 🥺

ALSO. Juno just. Picking him up and carrying him out of the room fhshdhdgs

MAMA BUDDY SO ANGRY THOUGH. I thought this would be the case but ooof

LESBIAN WEDDING TIME THOUGHHH Buddy and vespa inventing romance once AGAIN

I mean I'm sad they're retiring (although depending on what nureyev is doing here this "last job" could be UHHHHH DERAILED) but!! Yes!! Married!!

Knife girlfriend will finally be..... knife WIFE

Juno sniffling in the corner like ME TOO BITCH THE FUCK. Secretly a sap as usual though mr steel I love you

I can't remember other things I just. So much happened. I'm gonna need to listen again at least a few times here

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh FUCK also rita!! "When someone tells you what they want you to call them that's what you call them"!! Penumbra said trans rights once again thank you kabert and also ms jones. Bless

Not a second listen yet but more Thots:

Rly good episode...... and the robot kisses were very cute...... but I had this thought in pt. 1 and again this episode that I'm kinda bummed out that we've kinda just.... skipped over all the relationship development for juno & peter. Like on the one hand it's kind of unavoidable to miss stuff given the series format this time around but on the other it feels like 2 seasons of build up for something that.... just happened offscreen :/ Idk I was hoping for a first kiss back together or Something

On the one hand while it seems like nureyev is being a Snake™ I'm gonna hold back on actually saying he's gonna betray the crew bc he's been so consistently set up as the villain, going back to s1 when juno refused to trust him all the way through to shadows of the ship, and he's never actually proven himself untrustworthy a single time through that? Like, murderous mask has been the only time he's actually fucked anyone over for his own gain, and he went back on that one pretty quick

Plus the fact that he's only claiming to deliver the four items they need, not the curemother itself - it could be that he's planning to wait until after they've stolen the curemother when they no longer have a use for them, or at least I'd like to think so peter I'm fucking Watching You

Another thought: you know how else you might describe a debt? Something you owe to someone because, maybe, they have something of yours? A fucking ransommmmm

Also, why! Did! That! Bot! Not! Self! Destruct! Or at least not straight away. It's almost like someone wanted them to get away in the nick of time. There's a part of me that's wondering if the fact that dark matters is under mysterious new management and the fact that nureyev has made himself what seems like a very powerful enemy are linked, but we'll see. Either way I think someone definitely facilitated their escape, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was whoever is holding peter's debt, using the crew as a tool to get their hands on the four items they want and keeping nureyev as a source on their progress

Looking forward.... other people have said this as well, but I don't think nureyev is ever going to be cast as a villain here. At the very worst, he'll do something well-intentioned but kind of stupid, and it's gonna blow up in his face. Like, it's gonna hurt, but I think he'll come out of the other side better for whatever happens. Currently, my thoughts are on whether or not we'll see a repeat of new kinshasa - a high-stakes choice between someone dear to him, and the choice he feels he has to make, whether that's other people's lives again or something else. Idk, maybe not, I'm just thinking about the theming of the series with the past always coming back to haunt them, the fact that he's been said to be at a crossroads back in man in glass, and the part in tools of rust where the ruby gives jet the opportunity to make the same mistake he did fifteen years ago, and he chooses differently. Tbh as usual I'm just excited to see how things play out however that is

ACTUAL second listen this time:

Rita redacted I love you so much x3 combo. I missed this earlier but it needs to be said

Rita says she found nureyev's name by hacking into buddy's notes on him and comparing them to the outer rim criminal records which leads me to ask the question how much does buddy know? Why would rita be checking outer rim records unless something in buddy's notes pointed her in that direction? I've had my suspicions that she knows more than she's saying for a while but 👀

Nureyev sounds so nervous/scared too...... :(

I had this thought on the first listen but didn't write it down: nureyev is so goddamn smart, like so smart, I don't think he gets enough credit for that. Also him saying "one problem at a time, like [buddy] would say" was - oof. Considering how much time he spends referencing mag's advice in man in glass, even if he's bitter about it, I think that reference is very telling on how he thinks about her

Love the way he skirts around saying they have to move sneakily dhsgjf. Also "only twice" I do love him

Juno joking about his track record on not dying.... oh he's come a long way though

The way that nureyev talks to rita throughout them moving around - he's kind of a natural leader (which, ouch), but also it's clear that he has absolute confidence in her, he doesn't ever doubt for a second that she wouldn't be able to do something. It's obviously a little unempathetic when she's so shaken and doubting herself but also he clearly trusts her almost as much as if not as much as juno, and I do love to hear it

Detective falco? 👀

Juno looking on the bright side! Not blaming himself! Saying maybe it's gonna be okay and believing in her! I cry!

Except for when nureyev is in danger though ): I love that this story never shows recovery in a linear way, that juno is still inclined to beat himself up even if he is better than he used to be. He's growing but it's always gonna be a work in progress!

The fact that dark matters seems to be moving entirely towards remote operation now? Like it makes sense tactically, there's no risk of expending agents in a fight, I'm interested if the writers are gonna dig into that considering the real-world state of drone use in the military and law enforcement

Calling their heist marks "radicals", it seems like dark matters is trying to keep track of or maybe capture rogue (or radical) elements out in the universe - things like the knife and the key, which is probably why they were after m'tendere, they themselves being a radical element. I wonder if this is what brought the crew to their attention in the first place; it's definitely why they want to capture them alive at least, they want information out of them on why they're collecting the same marks

They specifically say two radicals though, and potentially a third, depending on whether the book is counted as the third that might mean they don't know about the map at all, maybe

I mentioned this another time but I'm wondering Again if dark matters was behind the mysterious disappearance of all the theia soul chips except for juno's, esp with what rita said about the interface for the bots being like theia tech - experimental tech like that would deffo be considered a radical element and they definitely could have used it as a basis for these new bots

Peter........ he's in a ROBOT stop being HORNY

"Galaxy-class criminals" huh.

Someone else pointed this out elsewhere idr who but buddy's line that sometimes helping people means trusting them to help themselves despite your concerns, when paired with what's going on with nureyev is.... interesting

WOW buddy is mad though

I'm REALLY wondering how much she knows about what's going on tbh, especially seeing as her pov is probably up next. Aaaaa I'm gonna be yelling for the next however many weeksss

Jet sounds so happy about the ruby being fixed aw

Vespa so nervous about making her announcement AW

Buddy sounds so HAPPY AW

Peter starts laughing right at the end when vespa starts threatening juno which,, oh boy ): I rly hope everything turns out okay ;;

Rita saying that sometimes trying to help someone in pain is being selfish because you just don't want to look at the hurt is a really interesting thing to come from her considering her long-standing relationship with juno, huh

“Before the year is out” is a very vague timeframe, once again thinking that nureyev’s plan may well be to only hand the items over once the heist is done

Anyway once again AAAAA

[funkymbtifiction]

IDK who I am?

Ok so this is kind of a whole ass mess, I started off with a question that would make it a useful read for everyone and not a waste of time, but it ended up being a bit of a personal advice question so I hope that’s ok.

What would cause unhealthiness in a type? Most of the time, i feel like i’m a healthy ENTP, but multiple arguments with my ESFJ (or ESTJ?) mom have caused me to seriously doubt myself in many ways over the years. I read that an unhealthy ENTP can be argumentative, unwilling to drop arguments, etc. These are all things my mom tells me I do, along with not taking responsibility and making excuses. I’m 18 now and we don’t argue that much but we did a lot when I was around 13-15 and kind of, ya know, going through it as teenagers do. And since my mom has basically always used these same digs at me, I’ve assumed that maybe that’s the reason that it really hurts whenever those same digs are brought up now, and basically I have a lot of self doubt and am insecure about being an immature version of my type (because that would mean that i’ve been in the wrong in so many instances in my life if everything my mom says about me is true, and i think that sentence in itself proves my mom right in that i don’t like taking accountability.) As I’m typing this, I’m wondering if maybe that fear of being an unhealthy version of my type or admitting my faults could be related to enneagram ?? Anyways, I know that nobody’s perfect and can definitely appear even worse especially in conflict, I just sometimes wonder if i’m unhealthy or a completely different type altogether. That’s another thing, I’m always trying to find an answer to things, but have a hard time settling on just one. This could be another reason for my self-doubt. I guess my question, after that exhausting story, is WHY? I go back and forth between caring or not caring about personality type, but I’m in a particular stage right now where i care and really just wanna know why i am the way i am (i’m in a bit of desperate state of mind rn lol.) I don’t know if i gave enough info for you to answer this, but what causes me to fear failure so much? Does it have to do with being raised by an ESxJ? Or is it related to enneagram? Or something else altogether? Also, am i even an entp?? you’d probably need to know more about me, but from the way I wrote this, could you give me anything? I’m asking for so much right now, I’d honestly be annoyed at me. But I’ve been so unsure about so many things lately and I just want one thing in my life I can be at least a little more sure about.

I’m sorry you are in a place of feeling like you aren’t sure who you are; if it helps, most people who embark on MBTI journeys face that, sooner or later. And it often precedes a period of self-understanding that helps you find your type, because you start focusing on how you respond to things and how you get things done, rather than what others are telling you about yourself, and linking that to specific functions.

So much hyper-focus on what your mom says about you either indicates you are a high feeler (FJ seems more reasonable than FP at this point, since it’s not about defending self from the outside world, but wondering if what others say about you is true; but if you are sure of Ne-dom, I’d look into ENFP also) or in a Fe-loop. EFJs often mistype as ETPs at first, because they don’t realize how much they lack a specific sense of self, because their entire identity is built on how others perceive, relate to, and speak to them. If this has been a persistent concern for as long as you can remember, consider EFJ (most ETPs at your age care way less what others think, and way more about how they can ‘use’ them to get what they want, since Fe is just a tool for them and not a place of ‘being’).

If you are an ENTP, you sound as if you are in a Fe-related loop, excessively ruminating on others’ external views of  you and causing you to wonder if you are really the irresponsible jerk they tell you that you are. To break this loop, you need to get back into Ti and return to building inner frameworks of logical understanding and consistency. Your natural, healthy tendency will be to notice flaws in arguments, belief systems, and logical inconsistencies, and point them out to yourself and others. You should be learning ‘how things work,’ and not worrying so much ‘how others are reacting to me.’

To gain a better understanding of oneself, you need to put your mother’s criticisms into perspective. Is she the sort of person who finds something harsh and critical to say about everyone, all the time? Or is it just you? What is the objective truth in her digs? Can you come up with specific examples of you doing the things she is accusing you of, or is it just generalization on both your part?

Immature (and at 18, you can’t be anything else, cognitively) ETPs are prone to not taking personal responsibility for themselves and making excuses about it, yes. Ti can rationalize, argue, avoid, and shift responsibility away from self (a natural behavior of unhealthy Fe) rather than simply admit, “What I did was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Arguing, for an ETP, is like breathing – they are so good at it, and so self-assured of thinking up an excuse for everything they do in order to justify their “what I want” based thinking, they forget that their “fun banter” is actually seen as “aggressive behavior” from feeling types. (Sherlock is a great example of what I am talking about.)

If you think your mom has a point, and you can come up with times when you did avoid taking personal responsibility, you have a choice – to work on next time refusing to give an excuse, humbling yourself and admitting you didn’t do what you were supposed to do, or you were selfish and ate the last bag of chips in the house, or whatever else she “gets on you” for. You can also start taking “adult initiative” and doing “mature” things around the house, to show her you are taking responsibility for your stuff, your chores, your bills, etc. The only way to convince an ESJ that you are a mature adult is to consistently act like one and show them you are being responsible with your decisions. Part of being a mature adult, regardless of type, is admitting when you are wrong and taking responsibility for the problems/pain you cause.

If she is criticizing / nitpicking needlessly, analyze her and think about her reasons why she might be doing this, or feels the need to bring others down, or is being “hard” on you in particular. There are many factors that go into people’s behaviors. Do you remind her of someone she used to know, who went the wrong way in life, and is she associating your behaviors with that person’s downward path? High Si’s are prone to instant sensory comparisons of that nature. SJs are also highly responsible people, very driven, who have a specific idea of “how the world works,” and how YOU will have to be, to succeed in it. (IE, 9/5 job, be responsible, buy car insurance, save for retirement, take care of your family, etc). This is how and why they clash with the “when I see it, I’ll know I want to do it, and do it for awhile, and then find something else to do” fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants EP types.

With parents, it’s also important to remember their bias. Their opinion of you is just their opinion. What matters more out in the world is what your boss, your coworkers, and other people who have a direct financial impact on you as an adult in the workforce think of you. Your parents have watched you grow up. Seen all the good and bad things. Things that do not matter at all in the workforce, and that nobody knows about, outside the family. Things that do not have to ‘define you’ as an adult. EJ parents can also have a lot of trouble transitioning from being “parent” to “friend” – she is used to being your “mom.” So, prove her wrong. What can you do to show her you’re an adult?

You might also be an Enneagram 9 or 6 (both, Tritype-wise, is likely) which is messing with your ability to have a concrete sense of self.

Once you’re in college, your functions will show clearer. Heavy school work / an environment where you need to please peers and teachers will bring out lower functional development.

- ENFP Mod

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[seven-oomen]

Okay, so first off, Happy Birthday to your cat!  I hope he got lots of his favorite treats.  Glad to hear that today went as well as can be hoped for you.  And overall today wasn’t too bad here.  We got several big truck deliveries, but when I deal with those I tend to deal less with customers, so it sort of balances itself out.  We’ve been told that we’ll be closing early all week because of the protests, so that’s been ramping the anxiety, but the internet has provided a number of pleasant distractions on my breaks.

Secondly, I would pick Noah for the one that has the second set of twins, for mainly two random reasons; 1) because last time it went Chris, then Noah, so it feels like it should do the same this time, and Chris already had Ben, 2) because it keeps the number of kids per family more balanced- 4 & 3 rather than 2 & 5.  Idk, my brain just gets weird about symmetry and balance in things and I’ve never figured out if it’s an ADD related thing or just a me thing.  Also, the idea of him trying to do his job while pregnant, with Chris and ESPECIALLY Peter trying to be super protective at the same time is just amusing to me.

And actually, thinking about that and the preview for the next chapter made me think of a couple things that didn’t make it into my reviews.  When/how/from whom did Chris learn about the fire? Did Gerard or Kate tell him in a gloating sort of way and kind of tip him off that something was hinky about it, or was it through other hunter contacts, so the thought of outside involvement came later?  

Was he still pregnant with Ben, or was it later on?  Did he contact anyone in Beacon Hills about it for further info at any point before he showed back up in town?  Because I was trying to think about some of the things that could turn up later for angst (why I was doing that to myself is anyone’s guess, but here we are…) and it occurred to me that if Noah was going to have any lingering upset over Chris leaving it would most likely (to me) be from the time right after the fire.  

He’s just lost Claudia, and went off the rails from it, but at least he had Peter, and Laura, and the other Hales.  Now Peter is in a coma, Laura’s left town, and the rest of his adopted/found family is dead.  He has no idea where Chris is, or if he’s safe from whoever did this (does he know about what happened between Chris and Peter before Chris left again?, and he’s dealing a set of even more heavily traumatized twins right now.  I feel like even the most understanding person is gonna have some stuff to work through there.  (Also, Jesus, poor Melissa [possibly for multiple reasons])

Uhhh…sorry to send things into a drama tailspin there for a moment.  Allow me to try and brighten things back up with the original impetus for me to make this a submission and not an ask; because you mentioned X-Men Halloween costumes and I have Thoughts.  *takes super deep breath*  Because omg, yes, so very many options.  

Side note - I would be so happy if someone dressed as Nightcrawler.  He is my precious fuzzy elfin bb, and I love him to bits and get so tired of him getting left out of things (looking at you Funko.)  I feel like Stiles or Peter have the best attitude match (maybe, MAYBE Jackson), but don’t know if anyone would want to deal with the amount of makeup involved.  But, anyway, just, the possibilities.  

Stiles telling Malia she can’t just take the easy way out by going as Wolfsbane, so she takes one of her old white A New Hope Leia dresses and cuts it down into an old school Mystique costume. 

 Peter pulling rank and telling Derek he’s the Alpha so he gets to be Wolverine (this even works better height-wise [I didn’t realize you didn’t know their approximate heights.  I’d looked them up before for…reasons.  Having seen them standing next to each other repeatedly, I’m pretty sure any actual height advantage Ian has comes strictly from his hair], although when Stiles points this out he earns himself a hell of a glare.)  

Naturally that means Chris has to be Cyclops, because, well, calm and serious.  Noah realizes this means they expect him to be Jean Grey.  (N: “Why can’t I ever be a character that wears normal pants?!” C: “Well I have to be the boring one all the time” P: “I mean, you are the closest to a telepath of the three of us.  Don’t you want us mock fighting over you?” N: “…if we do this I get my pick of the Phoenix costumes.”)  

Stiles and Noah trying to fight over getting to be Gambit so they can do exploding playing cards, but getting told they can’t be Gambit unless they can do the accent correctly (Gambit isn’t Gambit if he’s not Cajun, that’s just how it is, I don’t make the rules.)  While part of me thinks it’d be funny to see Jackson as Nightcrawler because of the tail thing, I think Stiles would be more entertaining.  

He’d make little smoke bomb things to fake the sulfur and brimstone effect of his teleporting.  All the family members with enhanced senses would HATE him because they STANK something fierce, and it LINGERED.  But anytime one of them tried to tackle him to get them away, he’d yell “BAMF!” throw on to the floor and run like hell.  

Jackson would be Iceman so he could make it a crossover costume with the character from Top Gun so he could wear aviators and a leather bomber with his outfit.  Allison could dress like Shadowcat from the early Excalibur run, and she could see if Ben would dress up as Lockheed with her (because that would be adorable).  

Derek would decide that if he can’t be Wolverine and glare angrily at people the whole time, he’ll be Colossus so he can just stare with silent disappointment the whole time.  Scott would decide he wants to be Cable (because “…he just looks so cool…”), so Melissa and Chris would dig through their old hunter gear to help him make his costume.  

Melissa could be Jubilee, and rig up little flash bangs to fake the plasma bursts (unlike Noah she has absolutely no qualms about proving that she can still rock a pair of short shorts.)  Lydia would either be Rogue to show off that SHE at least can manage a believable accent, or Emma Frost for the looks that costume would gain her from Allison.  

Alternatively; both sets of twins argue over who gets to be Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, so they decide that one pair will do the classic comic version, and one will do either the Evolution cartoon version or the MCU version (though they are allowed to switch out the Quicksilver for the other film version if they choose).  

Lydia claims Mystique instead (it’s tempting to make her Banshee, but that seems a bit TOO on the nose), or maybe one of the other Phoenix looks (when I say Phoenix looks I mean Jean’s Phoenix or Dark Phoenix suit from the comics, because I LOVE that outfit), and Ben dresses as Beast (because that would also be adorable).  *finally stops to take another breath*  …umm…so anyway, yeah, as a perennial X-men fan I think it’s safe to say I love this idea, and am so grateful for you putting it in my head…  …sorry about the wall of text, I may have got a little carried away…  …again…

I loved every single sentence of this wall of text, so never apologize. (Although I did break it up a little before posting because that makes it easier to read for other people.

I think all of my ideas for the middle of this fic where either based on questions you, or @artemisa97​ asked me in reviews. So honestly, keep them coming if you want to ask them. They help me determine where the problem areas are, what kind of kinks I need to work out, so honestly, even the sad ones are a great help.

And yeah, I hadn’t looked up their heights yet, I just assumed Peter and Chris were a bit bigger than Noah, but I was delightfully wrong!

I do have one more gem to share, a height comparison of some of the boys and to show you just how tiny Ben is compared to the others.

Blue - Noah (182 cm / 6 ft)

Purple - Chris (177 cm / 5′10)

Red - Peter (178 cm / 5′10)

Yellow - Derek (183 cm / 6 ft)

Green - Ben (111 cm / 3′8)

Turquoise - Jackson (170 cm / 5′7)

Ben’s height is about average for someone between the age of 5 & 6, Jackson’s height is a little on the short side, but I’d imagine that he’d still grow a little until he’s like 20 and end up being around 175/176 cm.

I’d imagine Stiles to be a little taller around 172 cm, Allison is a little shorter at 165 cm and Malia is around 168 cm. (They will all still grow a bit, averaging between 173 (Allison) and 178 (Stiles) )

And the one thing I will say about whether or not Noah gets the twins, without getting too spoilery, or maybe it is, I’m sorry if it is but I can’t help not share.

Is that eventually both Noah and Chris have the same amount of kids from Peter. And one of them has twins. I’m still debating on names, in the deleted scene I named them Mikhail and Adeline, I currently have different names picked out. 

And I think the balance thing is ADD related, because I had the same issue with planning the story XD. So yeah, Peter gets to have a lot of kids, and adopt a lot more into the pack, because Season 2 is kinda canon in this universe, in the sense that Isaac, Erica, and Boyd are still turned. Kira comes along, and of course Lydia. Considering what I have planned for Danny and Mack, I might add them to the pack as well.

And omg I LIVE for those X-men costume ideas <3 Omg. I love it. Considering Stiles’ abilities he would definitely be Nightcrawler and would probably use a quick spell or two to get the makeup in place. (A druid invented this fantastic spell to always get eyeliner on fucking point and shared it in their spellbook. Spoiler alert; said druid was Noah in his teenage punk years. Turns out, it works for other makeup too.)

And I’m in fucking love with all of these ideas actually, I can’t really say which I like more.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Eden-6!!

I am. so fucking tired. but I’m also late asf for Eden-6 stuff to the point it got its video release, so here I am playing catch up.

tl;dr: swamp planet!! we get some cool shots of Alitair and Aurelia, i, surprise surprise, still do not trust mr. wainwright, i tried to form an argument that these ruins we see across the planet are abandoned Atlas facilities/ships, but ~who knows~. also i would (and probably will) die for the saurians. i love them so much. one of them has a funky bone hat. it’s great. also also “stop the CoV before they gain control” [looks at trailers and behind closed doors intro] ... uh oh gamers...

“A backwater swampland of a planet, and family home of the Jakobs clan. Eden-6 is covered by lush greenery and stagnant waters, dotted with occasional settlements and the rusted hulks of crashed spaceships. Civilization has never fully taken hold here, and indigenous dangers including ravenous Saurians and semi-sentient Jabbers effectively rule the planet. As if you didn't already have enough to worry about, the Children of the Vault have a presence here as well.”

im excited for the abandoned spaceships, those things look fucking bad. ass.

Ambermire I am guessing is one of the more swampy areas? Jakob’s Manor is obvious, and Fort Sunshine I’m guessing is that abandoned facility we’ve been seeing around the trailers. unfortunately we don’t get too good of a look at the fortress (shakes fist at gearbox) but we do get some other stuff!

im gonna go over the instagram video first because the pics are a treat so we’re saving them for last.

sorry for the progress bars btw lol

i fucking love that gas giant. so much.

swamps are one of my least favorite biomes, but i know gearbox is going to make me love it.

also a look at one of the crashed ships! (i assume) looks like Atlas to me. Or old Hyperion, but tbh idk why Hyperion would be on Eden-6. so Atlas it is.

a look at one of the settlements. i really love the contrast between this planet and Promethea and Athenas.

those gross pod things on the right? idk if they’re egg sacs or plants or what but i both hate them and love them. also whatever that is glowing on the bottom left. i wanna touchy

Jakobs manor!! honestly a lot less extravagant in the front than i was expecting. also now we know this one shot

is definitely not in front of Jakobs Manor. could be the back entrance or smth tho. looks like it leads into a garden-y area.

my question is, is it a Jakobs thing to enjoy hunting? because it seems like it’s a Jakobs thing to enjoy hunting. also i don’t trust Jakobs. I know I’ve said that, like, a bajillion times, but i don’t. and those metal cowboy-lookin’ robots are totally theirs.

im just surprised the Hammerlocks are living in the Manor. I assumed they were like... visiting. now im pretty convinced mr. wainwright down here is evil because only Alistair is on Sanc-III and we’re all assuming that the Sanc-III demo (not the more recent one) takes place after Athenas, right? 

and OMG YES lilith’s tattoos aren’t visible in the newest video on sanc-iii!! im hoping that means she gets her powers back!! im giddy to look over it 30 times i cannot wait. but one post at a time.

evil. evil man.

he either dies or he’s evil i don’t trust him and hammerlocks eye shouldn’t be red in the We Are Mayhem trailer i just... im so suspicious of this man.

AURELIA i love her so much. she was great in TPS, one of my mains. her new outfit is popping, i love the boots.

also she has 2 ice diadem shards now and im terrified yet oddly happy for her.

ALISTAIR. i legitimately thought he was on Promethea at first, then i realized this is probably part of the abandoned facility/fortress. shame we don’t get a closer look at it.

also look who’s eye is back to being not-red again!

also the writing on the back there makes me even more convinced this is Atlas facility. on Promethea, the parts of the Meridian city are labeled with these unique symbols (so far i’ve seen blue and red) and this red one looks like it fits the mark perfectly.

these look like the same canisters from the mine on Pandora. whatcha pumpin eden-6?

more red plants. i like how different this can look from athenas, yet still have very similar foliage. outstanding move, gearbox.

is that another crashed ship in the background??? yes pls. also this dude’s face paint is giving me huge Mask of Mayhem vibes, I love it.

the inside of Jakobs Manor

i hate to tell you this mr. gearbox sir but im pretty sure they do

yeesh. 

also that one scene of troy in the manor as well

dis one

is that the globe in the background? anyone know? im trying to remember where the fuck ive seen that shot of the library/globe. hmmmmmmmmmm

it is not the globe whump whump. i am excited to explore this library tho. 

what looks like fishing net on the right? wild

also car!!

no wings/fins like in the Mask of Mayhem trailer tho, that sucks.

i like this dude. especially his face paint.

i like this glowing crystals even more tho

purple crystals that mimic troy’s red ones? me likey.

eridium? maybe! slag to chug when u need more power? maybe! i don’t know!

j̷̧̭͙̹̭̀̽͆̕͘u̸̦͌̃͛̕̕s̴̡̰͙̣͊̂̔t̴͇̪͐ͅ ̸̭̐́w̵̧̯̲͊̀̃̄̕a̵̢͓̎́̏̓t̷̪̓̑̎͜c̶̢̢͔̀h̴̥̬̪̫̫̿ ̶̪̬̞̼͐̾̉͐̒ơ̵̼̋̍̓̕u̵̻̪̞̞̺̐̾̀̚͠t̶͉̠̟͉̪̋̈̿ ̶̢̗̗͑f̵̰̫͇̈̾ọ̴͑r̶̢͕̺͈͎̃̌͘ ̸̩͆̏̅a̸͈̙̪̋̏ǹ̷̮͚͍̽͜ģ̵̠̀̍̋̔r̴̪̦̾̇̕͠y̷̘͖̜̿͑̅̀ͅ ̷̬̱͉̗͌̇j̵̹͇̽͗̕ā̸̳͇͈̠̺b̴̰̏͜b̴̘͗̔e̷͖̓͊r̸͍̫̻̊͆̊s̸̛̙̳͔̗̋̓͝ 

also check that glowy light in the background. totally Atlas.

also also i like they have little hanging nest/house things. those are really cute.

this motherfucker is coming at us with a sledgehammer ffs

i like their tiger stripe designs. they blend in with the leaves, which i guess is an evolutionary advantage all things considered.

I LOVE THESE FUNKY LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS

LOOK AT THIS DUDE!!! HE’S GOT A BONE HAT! I LOVE HIM!!!

AND THEY FUCKING BREATHE FIRE??

GLOWING YELLOW EYES!!!

A SPLIT JAW! WHO DOESN’T LOVE THESE LITTLE DUDES???

i fucking love Saurians holy shit

okay okay okay okay

picture time 😎

i love the skybox on Eden-6, holy shit it’s beautiful. also, those sacs/plants/fungi or whatever are definitely volatile.

look at that one glowing red one. that’s totally going to deal some fuckin fire damage to whatever touches it and i for one am ready

also.

can we get an F in chat for Eden-6? lmao i remember being like ‘oh look a gas giant’ in my analysis of every museum of mayhem piece and COMPLETELY FORGETTING that eden-6 has a gas giant directly beside it. big brain fart there.

holy shit i love the color schemes for these things. i know there are blue ones as well, but these orange/yellow/red ones are FANTASTIC. i especially love the shiny yellow ones. they’re so pretty!!

we also get a mostly obscured window in the back there

possibly part of the abandoned facility? but more than likely just part of a crashed ship.

like (im assuming) this one!

the doors match up to Sanctuary-III quite well. also the bones on the ground. i love the regrowth aesthetic they’ve got going on here.

also apparently ratches have made their home here. these things are fuckin everywhere. they’re like the new rakk holy shit

MY BEAUTIFUL BOYS

look at the one on the bottom right! those blue markings are fuckin stunning and i love the little fins on the sides of his head

and that giant skeleton in the background? that’s some good shit right there! im hoping those are fireflies/some sort of glowing insect around the front there. so we can have pockets of glowing orbs dancing around the map as we explore.

oooo

i really like the hulls of the ships, the one on the far left and the one in the back right.

im mostly interested in this tree. i wonder if it just regrew around some debris or if this is making the stuff on this planet grow wildly out of control. I’m always down for science gone wrong! and with atlas, pretty much anything could go horribly wrong. that’s just their way of doing things.

anyway it is 4 in the am and i am tired, so im gonna pass tf out now and hopefully do Fl4k’s trailer, and a few other posts i gotta catch up on, tomorrow! so hyped for fl4k info!!

[divinefelt]

                                                ❝     i  have  cried  all  my  tears .                                                              all  that’s  left  is  anger .     ❞ 

 ―  pin board.

STATISTICS.

name :   zahra azhdeha kabiri.

age :   2,581 years , appears mid 30′s.

gender :   cisfemale ( she & her ).

orientation :   homosexual , demiromantic.

species :   dragyn , ethereal dynasty.

occupation :   performer ( fire dancer ) at the haus of millennium.

residence :   sherman lofts in sioux falls - 1 bed , 1 bath.  lives alone.

//  more statistical info found here.  

BIOGRAPHY.

zahra was once a meek girl born the bastard daughter to the king of the persian empire.  she’d be sold to an egyptian general older than even her father as soon as she was able as a token of good faith.  with the birth of her three children and their safety on the line , she took a dagger to her husband.  she’d then travel home and slit the throats of the king and every male heir.  she’d be crowned empresss and would rule with a good heart.  but another being would turn his eyes towards her and turn her into a horrendous dragyn.  zahra would have fire and blood for her enemies , but while she attempted to be good towards her people , some still only saw her as a beast. 

so , appearing as a divine saviour , a macedonian king would gather an army and look towards the persian empire.  at the peak of which , she’d be chained and thrown beneath a mountain.  zahra would spend nearly two millennia trapped underground before she’d awaken to find the chains unfettered.  it’d take years for her to gain a semblance of her previous strength back while at the same time looking upon a vastly different world.  her children , previously transformed into gargoyles , surely hadn’t survived.  yet she searches for them anyway.  one journey had her run into the performers of the haus of millennium , and with a heart needing family , she joined them.  

the troupe has just moved to south dakota , though zahra is restless in this place.  there is a familiar sense pulling at her that she’s only felt twice before.  it’s naive , but she’s hopeful that this may be the place where she’ll reunite with her children , and follow that sense towards the one who put their lips to her hand all those years ago and started her on this bloody journey.

//  more biographical info found here.

CONNECTIONS.

GENERAL SPECIES VIEWS

the gargoyles / the dominion :   zahra considers gargoyles friends , unless personally shown otherwise.  her first glimpse into the world of the supernatural started with the knowledge of such creatures.  her bias for them only grew as she became friends with astarte and as her children were turned into gargoyles so they could stay together for eternity.  as for the dominion as a whole , zahra knows little about the organization save that they are very influential and that several of astartes’ children are in it ( as well as her own son , but that’s not known to her yet ).  i’m sure that members , or at least high - ranking members of the dominion have heard rumors of zahra floating around.  so whether or not they see her as a threat , or an asset is up to the organization and the individual.  i’d love any connection from friends to enemies , to using her as a weapon or all banding together to kill her idk but i want it all

the weyrs :   way back when , when she was still learning about the supernatural world , zahra first thought that perhaps she was related to the weyrcreatures.  they both had other animalistic forms hidden beneath a human visage and perhaps by learning about them , she could learn about herself.  little came of it though besides a shared camaraderie in hiding who one truely was behind a passable visage.  (  though zahra doesn’t know this yet , her eldest daugher , nazli , was killed by a weyr pack like 1500 years ago.  the pack is probably extinct by now , but if there’s some connection there ya can think of , hmu.  also , when she learns of that she isn’t going to be too friendly to them 0.0 )

the wytches :   when her possible relation to the weyrs didn’t pan out , she sought out wytches next.  though hesitant , she had several ancient rituals performed on her to figure out her origin , but all pointed towards the heavens.  this was interpreted different ways by different casters , but zahra eventually came to the conclusion that whatever cursed her was something divine.  

the meyrfolk :   zahra hates large bodies of open water with a passion.  she hasn’t met many meyrs due to this reason though she still finds them fascinating.  basically someone needs to convince zahra to go for a swim or take her to the aquarium or smthng

the dieties :   she had turned her mind away from the heavens after she’d become the beast she is today and a frutiless search for the one who’d done the deed.  but they have not turned away from her.  her master , father , creator ; whatever you want to call them , is still watching.  they were the one who gave the usurpers the chains that were able to bind her , and the one to release her a mere century ago.  though she doesn’t know , his eyes watch on from afar , though coming closer and closer , and surely other dieties have noticed the beast walking their earth and the way their sibling is always watching.

the hunters :   in the eyes of hunters , dagyns are actual mythical creatures.  or at least , they’re so rare there hasn’t been a proven sighting in several hundred , perhaps thousands , years.  apart from otherworldly beings , dragyns are the creatures to kill if you want your name to live on forever amongst other hunters forever.  so , i’d love if a crazy , foolhardy , valiant hunter came after zahra.  either to actually hunt and try to kill her , or maybe to just do research on her species to write down in some hunter field guide !

INTERPERSONAL CONNECTIONS 

the haus of millennium :    true to her nature , zahra is a fire dancer. when she performs , she feels some semblance of her old life again. the worry and memories that plague her stop for the few mintues that all eyes are on her.  the only time she can breathe is when being bathed in her own inferno.  so if there are any characters that are in the haus , or patrons coming to watch and notice her on the street , ect , ect

the secret  :    she may be millenna old , but anger is still alight in her veins. a persistant fan follows her home after the show.  she yells at them to leave , but steps continue in her direction. a shout comes from the small woman , a hand is lifted and then the fan is alight in an inferno. it burns for only a few mintues before nothing is left behind but ashes on the wind and scorched asphalt. the woman shakes her head and continues on her way , not knowing another was watching from afar with a camera in hand and an impossible event captured on photograph.

a diety :   they’ve noticed how the olympian watches their creation from afar.  they know they are prone to death and destruction , so what better way to deliver such than a creature of fire and blood ?  whether this diety wants to urge on the olympian’s plan , or as taken a liking to zahra , ect , ect

a friend with benefits :   needs are needs , especially after a hugely disorienting rest under the earth’s surface for two millennia.  they were acquaintances first and fell head first into something more physical.  whether or not her partner feels the same , zahra is struggling with maybe feeling something more ?

a budding romance :   it’s not truly a feeling she’s ever felt before.  sure , she holds love for her children and the wind beneath her wings , but a romantic love isn’t something she’s too familiar with.  already , it’s all-encompassing and she can’t get your muse off her mind.  it’s annoying , but she finds she loves it.  and now awkward flirting and dated courting will ensue.

++ everything else y’all throw at me cause i actually suck at plotting and connections so pls come yell at me 

[robo-cryptid]

@mercurytail replied to your post “I’m sure most of y’all have seen enough about the “Reunion” short and...”

I like a lot of what you've said here, but I was hoping I could share some thoughts on Ashe? :) She was alone. Very alone. Well off yes, but it's not easy on a kid when you have no family around to tell you gj or friends. In that pic where she's in the principals office it looks like she beat the two boys up, now idk why, but I can make assumptions. One, she did it for attention or two, which could also combine with one, she did it as a defense. The boy may have - con V

Picked on her. Either way, IN MY OPINON ( if you disagree that's valid too) she started "acting out" for attention and out of boredom. She found she could gain 'friends' that way and even founded a "family". Anyway, *shrugs* that's my two cents. It's w/e.

Also yeah it's a very used trope, and kinda bland. But I don't think that's really a detriment.

Tbh, I didn’t write much about Ashe because my initial reaction to her was “meh,” and I hadn’t given her as much thought outside the short (I watched the short, logged off, then eventually came back and looked through more of the Ashe lore shortly before that post, so not much time to digest all of the info we got from her bio and her own intro video). Anyway, thoughts under the cut! :)

Having thought about it more, I’m not sure I care either way what happened in the principal’s office, lol. (This isn’t a rude “your take doesn’t matter to me” so much as “I don’t think it affects the way I receive her story.”) It’s true she has no major family interactions outside a robobutler who doesn’t appear to speak, and we’re told she had few friends as well. I joked elsewhere that it basically looks like she ran into McCree and decided to slum it for a while and take a vacation into crime-world, liked it, and stuck with it.

I actually kinda stand by that? You’re right it’s a bit tropey, but tropes are just storytelling patterns and aren’t inherently bad, lol. There are lots of ways to explore that “vacation into crime-world” take that can ruminate on her privilege and do some fun subversive twists on that “rich girl, poor bad boy” trope. I’m not sure I actually buy that it has to be romantic, personally, if only because we know she’s about two years older than him -- two years means literally nothing in your twenties and thirties, but I remember being 16-17 years old and thinking most folks two years younger looked like actual children to me even then, so I’m... a little skeptical, lol. (But we also have that photo from Ana, which most of us estimate was taken when McCree was 17-18, and he looks a lot older, so I guess it’s possible he wouldn’t have looked like a kid to her, and it’s not a wild age difference. I’m just drawing from my amusement over my own experience.)

From what little info we have, it looks like she made friends (at least) with McCree and they went on a little spree together, she took a shine to it, and she decided to make something more formal out of it. He was her initial introduction to this world, but I think there’s something interesting in her taking the reins. She was older and probably able to present herself as worldlier to him, plus she has the organizational skills, business acumen and possibly even funds from her parents (Michael Chu answered a question on this, so this isn’t my take, it’s coming right from him). However McCree got into his own criminal stuff, she seems like a “true believer” in it, especially if she’s using it all as replacement family. That she continues to keep McCree’s photo (and that she once ripped it up and then taped it back together), to me, says that when he left Deadlock, it was a very real and personal betrayal, which I think holds more weight for her if he’s the very first of her new found-family. He’s not just some random person who walked away, or a crony who decided he’d had enough of gang life; he was her family, and he left, and that’s gotta be painful whether he was her “brother” or her boyfriend or some confusing teen-angst-feelings mix of the two. 

It kinda makes me wonder if he ever could have left -- what if he wanted out in general, for much more “everyday” reasons? Would she have let him leave, or would her need to keep her family together make her selfish? Basically I’m not sure whether she’s betrayed that he left at all or only that he left the way he did. I think that just... depends on how you feel like humanizing her. I can see a take where she’s pretty spoiled and narcissistic, and I can see a take where she genuinely believes the “family” stuff (or one where she’s both spoiled and narcissistic and is a true believer in the family stuff), and I don’t really have a set head canon for that yet.

And obvs this is meant to be about Ashe, but I still think that for McCree, he’d feel some guilt over this stuff -- maybe it was her idea to formally organize and pull a lot of criminal elements together, but he stood by her and he’s the one who dragged her into that life in the first place. I still think that’s a weightier, more agentic story for him and his search for redemption/justice than one where he was born into or manipulated into this gang.

[klimpaloon-loves-superwholock]

I know this is a bit late, and I don’t usually make original posts, but I want to gather my thoughts on VLD s7, even though I literally never participate in fandom discourse lol. So I guess we’ll see how this goes. 

There were great parts of this season. Let’s start with that. 

First of all, Hunk was incredible and I’m so glad he finally got an arc where he could shine, even if I feel like it was long overdue. Seriously, I feel like Hunk was the best part of this season and I cannot state enough how much effect he had on my overall impression of the season. He basically carried the season singlehandedly and I don’t understand why searching through the tag rn I can hardly find any appreciation for him this season. (yeah jk I know why ha)

Everything they did with the Paladins’ families (from Hunk’s arc about rescuing his parents to Lance reuniting with his family and his relationship with Veronica to freaking Colleen!!!! just straight up stealing the show for two episodes!!! What an icon I love her so much!) was absolutely perfect. (I will say I’ve seen speculation that Hunk’s sister and her kids died since they weren’t there in his hospital room, which I desperately hope is not the case since that really should have been mentioned.) 

I also loved seeing Shiro take charge and become Captain of the Atlas without even seeming to realize that he was the man for the job. 

Sendak was a formidable and interesting villain who raised the stakes, which made it more satisfying when they defeated him. 

I enjoyed getting to know Romelle more and see her in action.

Coran and the mice’s team up to break out the rest of the gang was very good and funny.

KOSMO!!!!!!! A GOOD PUPPY!!!!!! HE HAS A NAME!! I LOVE HIM SO!!!

I enjoyed seeing Lotor’s ex-generals again (because I love them), although I do have some issues which I’ll get to later.

The new characters they introduced, mainly Rizavi, Leifsdottir, Kinkade, Veronica, and Griffin were all great and I loved them! They did a great job of making me care about these new people. (And Kinkade is drawn so pretty what the heck y’all sleepin on this beautiful dude)

Seriously Colleen was so great I cannot stress this enough. I’ve been feeling for this poor woman who thought that she’d lost her whole family since season 1 so I’m so glad to finally see her in action, fighting for her family and her planet.

They did a good job of setting up Admiral Sanda’s inevitable betrayal, even if it was a really stupid thing for her to do.

Ep 5 was great; I was super excited to see what the Druids looked like under their masks, Macidus and Keith’s teleporting fight was awesome, and it’s always great to see Allura’s magic develop more, even when I wish it wasn’t so unclear how/what she’s doing.

Lots of the fights were so cool, from the Voltron team taking down the Galra drones in the cave system in Ep 2 to all the MFE fights to Shiro’s rematch against Sendak to even Voltron’s fight against the Robeast. These fights, I’ve noticed, are always especially cool when they unlock a new ability like Hunk’s turrets and Voltron’s double swords. Also I forgot how strong Alteans are until Romelle just straight up ripped apart a drone.

As much as I overall didn’t like The Feud as an episode, it did have some great moments with Pidge taking down Bob, Allura and Hunk being cute in the background, and the team being overall really supportive and loving of each other. 

Shay came to visit Hunk!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, as you may have guessed, I also have a lot of problems with this season. Ones that, for me, are too serious to ignore. But let’s start with my more minor grievances, then work our way up to the big ones, shall we?

I don’t like Shiro’s new arm. It reminds me too much of Sendak’s and is too bulky/strange looking for for my taste. And for some reason my eyes have a hard time finding it? Like they’re drawn to the light emanating from his shoulder and not the forearm/hand. Idk, but I’m not a fan.

I wish Griffin had apologized to Keith for being such a jerk about his parents. I kept waiting for it since they had all these long glances with each other. I came to like him despite the bad initial impression only because he proved to be a good leader who valued every member of his team and knew when to step aside because someone else was better at a job. But I still kinda needed resolution for his rudeness, especially since he’s obviously grown since then and should want to make amends. 

Admiral Sanda’s just so freaking stupid????? Like, how did she get that high in ranking when she consistently makes such bad decisions???? Clearly the dictator who’s controlling earth who comes from a war-mongering culture that enslaves and destroys planets isn’t just gonna let y’all go once he gets Voltron. He’s either gonna continue using you as slaves because nothing’s stopping him or destroy you because you’re no longer useful. Listen to people who know the Galra better than you!!

I saw somewhere that Matt has a girlfriend now???? When did this happen????

They somehow got the ENTIRE BALMERA to Earth?!!!????!!?!?!?!? How did they build a teleduv big enough to do that!?!

Also, where did they get a teleduv? Did the Atlas have one? Or was that something that they built during the epilogue montage??

How did Keith summon his bayard telepathically?? Was that a Galra thing or a new Paladin ability?

How did Shiro manage to survive falling from space to earth on the outside of a ship while fighting Sendak?? I mean I’m really glad he lived, but??? How??

I don’t think we needed so much time dedicated to Sam Holt updating the Garrison and then the rest of earth on what happened in space. I kinda appreciated it since it’s been a long time since I watched the early seasons, but at the same time he didn’t tell them anything that was new information to us as viewers. The only things we gained from those scenes were how others reacted to this info. (And we still didn’t get to see the reaction of the person I was most interested in, Adam, but I’ll get to that later.)

This is a problem I’ve been having with the show since like season 3 or so, but how much time has passed? They actually explicitly said it at a couple of points this season, what with 3 years having gone by for most people but only a few weeks for the Voltron team, but why did that time difference happen? Also, how much time passed between the team leaving Earth and them fighting Lotor in last season’s finale? Because I could believe any time frame between 6 months to a few years for that, which makes a big difference in how old the paladins are. According to the show, Sam landed on earth 4 years before the team gets back to the Milky Way, so I guess Sam left the team a year before they faught Lotor??

I didn’t get the thing with Allura’s crown gem? Since when is that a power source? And I was really struck by the imagery of her literally throwing her crown away to help her friend, but I feel like it would’ve been more powerful if we had been given some information about what exactly that gem is and what it means for her. Just make this more clear for me. Also, Shiro has already lashed out and hurt people against his will, so I really didn’t need that angsty moment for him.

The B-plot in Ep 1 was tonally dissonant from the A-plot of Shiro’s flashbacks, and it ended up being totally useless anyway. As much as I enjoyed Romelle and Hunk’s banter in those parts, they would’ve been better placed somewhere else. They should’ve just dedicated the whole episode to Shiro’s flashbacks and given us more information about him.

If they were going to mention that Shiro had a progressive disease in his flashbacks, then they need to explicitly mention in the show that he doesn’t have it anymore. As it is, people who don’t know about the SDCC announcements are just gonna assume he still has it. If it doesn’t happen in the show, it’s not canon. Also, if he’s had this disease the whole time, then why is s7 the first time it’s mentioned? The way he held his arm in the flashback reminded me of the way he held it when his Galra arm activated for the first time. Did the arm help fight the progression of the disease like that lil wristband did? If so, that should’ve been explained and made clear a long time ago. It just bothers me that this is the first time we’re hearing about this major part of Shiro’s life that he’s been fighting with, and that in show we’re given absolutely no resolution for it.

I guess the gem powering Shiro’s arm and the Castleship diamond powering the Atlas connected somehow?? Which is how Shiro turned it into a giant robot?     ??????????????? I’m genuinely very confused on what was going on there. It needed to be made more clear. I was on board for whatever they were doing at first just because Shiro looked so pretty in that lighting, but they took it in the weirdest direction possible. Why would anyone care about Voltron anymore when you’ve got a bigger, stronger robot now? Voltron’s no longer the most powerful weapon in the universe - the Atlas is. And it only became such by coincidence. Which is just. Irritating.

The Feud episode. Oh boy. First of all, I got some serious emotional whiplash from the change to this episode. It just didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the season at all. Second, they just really did not have to spend that much time making fun of Lance for being stupid. Especially when he’s not. Also, the first two of the people he had to identify had masks on, and Lance had only met them briefly. ALSO you’re telling me that Lance, the most social and outgoing of the Voltron team, is the one who’s bad with names/faces????? ALSO spending less time teasing Lance would’ve opened up more time for giving Hunk and Allura their own activities. ALSO everyone else on the team gets a little speech about how they’re valuable, but Lance just gets “I don’t want to be stuck with him forever”?????? That’s so freaking messed up. Third, the whole premise of the episode was strange to me. Like why would an all powerful being who tests heroes do it in this way? It seems to me that that premise fits Ep 6, where they were stranded in space, much better. They were genuinely tested then, and the forces that attacked them and propelled them through lightyears of space were never explained, so saying that Bob did it and propelled them towards their goal as a reward for passing the test could’ve been a satisfying answer to those questions. And fourth, can I also ask why Morvok was the fourth player?? Like he’s a nonentity in terms of villains. And they still didn’t have the same number of players as team Voltron. Haggar’s still alive, so they could’ve put Sendak on there too. And for the fifth player they could’ve put on a fan favorite villain character. One who showed up in more episodes than Morvok did. One who died a while back and who the fans have wanted to see again ever since. Like, I don’t know, NARTI!! Ugh.

The Robeast. I just. This season could’ve ended on a pretty high note if they had just cut that out and just went straight to the lil epilogue after defeating Sendak. As cool as that fight was at parts, it caused a pretty low finale, which is pretty disappointing after last season’s incredible finale. I get that they needed to foreshadow Haggar’s return to this fight or whatever they’re doing for next season and that she’s been working on the lost Alteans, apparently, but it was just a strange note to end on. Especially with the weird addition of Atlas to the Giant Robot Squad. And Allura’s line “Seriously? We just defeated Sendak and now we gotta deal with this?!?!” (I’m paraphrasing) was a MOOD.

Okay, so this post has gotten kinda out of control, so I’m gonna have to save the biggest issue I had (betcha can guess what it is) for another post. So. Look out for Part 2 of this nonsense. Feel free to reblog with your own ideas/input!

[wolfwhiteflowers]

ranting on TWD s9 again. :] ... other rants in #*twd or #*twd s9h

uh this is more about recent news, recent filming spoilers. Also FTWD deaths. -Carol, shows, pro-Rick. 

‘wait and see’ is hard. I guess I just want TWD AU to be good too and hoping/waiting is hard.

i guess i go rant till next year lol.

vvvv

Lately im just waiting for more info on Carol. I wanna know what Carol will be like in s9, TWD AU or the fumbling dead...BUT the filming spoilers tho...it’s like rubbing salt in my wounds about TWD’s potenial runied/AL leaving over and over.

It’s all just a bummer. I should not read into the filming spoilers that much. ..and omg avoid forum drama.

 Like I wanna see spoilers and I can’t help but hope for good Carol spoilers. Like getting spoilers about Caryl (and answers about C/E), Carol & Henry, and Carick/TF. :((( But then I get sad again and again. Idk what’s going on. I guess I assume there’s no good Carol spoilers and no Carick. :((((  Actually it’s just seeing any Rick spoilers is just sad. Also this whole Rick (and Maggie) dying/leaving the show thing is like dragged out rubbed in our wounds all till like when the ep airs their death/leaving. Like November or December.  Ugh. I just wanna get it over with it and to know what’s canon. Cry and move on. :\ So then we can make TWD AU fanarts..or do it now. ......I think it’s good to know what’s canon so then we don’t wonder and worry about avoiding it. It doesn’t mean to watch the show live but just reading it and know it and then just let it go and then make fanarts. xP

I was gonna not watch s9 anyways but dang just learning about s9 or what is canon ...is hard. sigh. but in time we will be alright. ...

------------------

TWD s9 speculations ~

so some filming spoilers coming out sounds like the gory comic death scene will happen. The heads on the pikes, killed by Alpha. They’re gonna film a zombie herd soon and whisperers may be part of that, I guess. i think of FTWD s4A and the deaths of Nick and Madison and how it seems like cheap deaths. I guess Rick and Maggie will go out like that... boring. not moving,imo. Doesn't impact the story or..............I’m just bitter. I just really want a good ending for Rick (thee main character). Like he saved his people and he dies and everyones lives without walkers as a threat and they’re safe in a community forever. 

  Travis’ death was meh (k it was really bad. wtf). ..I know I just won’t like whatever will happen with Rick and/or Maggie. For some reason, I feel like some characters got a good death scene for the overall story. Like Glenn, Sasha and Carl,imo. Their deaths were like they brought a new chapter to the story/show. Idk I liked Sophia and Merle’s deaths too. Anyways, their deaths changed the story. ..Or I guess they changed Rick characterwise in his story.  sigh.

Dang it’s like three weeks and AMC still didn’t confirm it or anything about AL leaving news. It makes me think AMC/writers wanted it to be a surprise that Rick dies/leaves the show (like how Nick and Madison died). ugh that’s even more lame. 

Dang it’s like AMC/showrunners? doesn’t let fans to trust them or get them excited at all for the story. It’s like some writers/AMC don’t care about the story’s core story and the fans.   So blah. I know some fans were disappointed that they were ‘spoiled’, but like that’s way to hard for me to handle that. I’m glad it was leaked and for me to know ahead of time...though the waiting and the dread sucks. 

UGH Skybound mailbag thing makes this hiatus worse by dragging the unknown..rubbing the salt..with their vague spoilers. And saying it in a troll way too. It’s cos we don’t know what’s up with Carol and writers made it that dumb way on not making it clear in their lackluster s8 finale (s8 finale shouldve been like s2 finale foreshadowing timeskip and next arc-Michonne/prison). I just wanna know if C/E happens or not, or Caryl be endgame, or will Carol ever have romance, will Carol interact with TF/Rick/Henry, in this TWD AU. geez. ...I want spoilers. I want confirmations and then leave the show-canon alone.

Carol speculations in s9.

- uh it seems like Carol is in Kingdom and just hanging out with Henry and Kingdomers in 9A. idk about Carick but we got a lit bit of something from filming spoilers, in 9x01. meh. :\ Some Caryl moments but how Skybound answered it, idk it depends on how I see it (on tumblr). As long as Caryl still be soulmate-y. Sigh I miss Carol or I miss what the show used to be and the potential. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

AMC is having a bad year/June, huh? lol ..partly their fault, anyways. wtf TWD shows are like destroying itself and then now the Hardwick (TTD) news of him being an abuser. sigh. Damn we really got BTS drama. :\ With the shows losing their leads, is it part of the lawsuits and diverting away from Kirkman’s story or something? idk.

I just wanna say, poor FTWD fans who watched recently. Writers/Gimple/AMC? litterally just scraped off the original storyline of the Clarks family for to focus on newbies, Morgan. So it’s a spinoff show within the show. ( It’s like TWD in s9 will be doing...with changing to Daryl’s) Anyways that’s really awful to the FTWD fans to suddenly to change the storyline. That’s like ..probably something I would just quit the show ..It’s something to feel like I won’t the trust the writers. Gotta have trust in the writers and the writers gotta gain your trust.

---------------------------------------------------

I was thinking about fandom stuff..and reading some posts. i guess i let it slide that the TWD show was going downhill early on. idk when. most say s6 is when it got worse. i always say that TWD was not the best but it was just a fun drama ensemble show for me. Well thats what fandoms do..they want the very best of the show/media. Also fandom is all opinions...it’s best not to read into it too much.

s2 is my fave season...even when I didn’t feel the TF love like on other shows or when I got annoyed with Shane/love triangle. (why is everything relate to OUAT wank. I learned a lot from that show/fandom. maybe just being deep in the fandom. it hurts more.) Ok like s2 or other seasons compared to s6-8 is different.. Different style and stuff-writers/showrunners.., idk. There are some good moments. It’s also like based on the comics’ story. Most say s5 is the best is what comic fans say is loving the Hunters arc. (s3 and the prison arc-tho i dont like this season). So yeah ..kinda depends on the comics and it’s all show business. Kinda hard to compare or not idk, Kirkman’s comic story may be better because it’s original and flows better naturally. There’s more personal intimate moments with like 5 main characters but the show got other good parts too. (better medium story telling) idk. like the show has Carol and other plots went better, but lack TF moments and many dull characters. Also Kirkman isnt the best writer either so...idk what im saying. TWDG telltale game has the best storytelling. tho super depressing but also got realistic moments.

Just idk Oh well. I watched TWD for the main characters, Caryl, Carol. But lately things are not happening like I want or like it was in s5-6. There’s Less TF (like how the comics are..tho s9/after AOW was hopeful but AL and LC wanna leave.)Caryl and Carol/ TF interactions or Carol part of main plot haven’t happened since s6 and Idk if we come back to that. Like will Caryl’s relationship grow and does Carol and TF moment return-like will we have Carick moments? SIGH Waiting and hoping. It’s tiring. do whatever you want. I’m still a fan of Caryl, Carol/TF/Carick, Richonne.

Idk I’m just bummed and having a hard time with s9 and yet Rick and Maggie are leaving. Yeah ..I just wish I have an ending to just end it but I don’t have one. There’s no end...Idk it’s hard to make an ending to stop and to not hope or expect more. 

I want to not watch s9 yet I want/hope this TWD AU to end it right..blah. I guess till I get more info ..wait and see...

Whatever this rollercoaster ride continues and I probably rant again soon. :P

[mollydollyjournals]

My period started today so I'm extra huge. But I also binged. So I feel especially terrible. I really wanted to drink. For my mood and to not be so aware of my body. I didn't, because I know that in the end I'll feel worse...that'd be even more bloating and I don't think I can deal with that. This is difficult enough as it is. I definitely kept wanting to drink. Eventually I think I didn't because it just got late in the day. I do still have one single serve bottle - I could just have that to feel a little better. But idk if there's much point. It won't actually make me happy. I'd want to drink a proper amount. Which I can't and won't now.

I guess that's about the only good thing about today. That I managed to avoid drinking. I got my covid test result back negative as well. Other than that I've been really tired and kind of nauseous. Hb was really noisy a few hours before I was due to get up so that didn't help. I did a little bit of housework and got so exhausted I had to stop halfway and lie down. I'm going to have to try to finish it tomorrow, which still won't be easy because I'm sure my period is part of why I feel so terrible right now.

Hb noticed the newer marks on my arm earlier. I thought he had already, they've been there for maybe 2 weeks now. Idk my sense of time isn't great. He kind of just went back to looking at his phone right afterwards. I don't really know what to make of it.

Lockdown is changing on Monday and I can legally see bf. Just in time for my birthday, and his. I'm scared. I don't remember how to be around people, and I feel so disgusting in my body. I want to see him, but I don't want him to see me. I feel like I need more time. I won't want to see him on my period because I'll just be in pain and tired and bloated and want to stay in bed, so I'm going to see if we can make it a week later. But it's not like that's enough time to fix everything. Even if I eat well this week, I usually can't exercise on my period due to fatigue and nausea, so I can't expect anything to change.

I guess I just have to hope that I feel differently when the bloat goes away. It'll be at its worst now. I'm lying on my back and I feel like my belly is a dome above me. It's just I know it's not all bloat and water retention. My face is huge, my thighs are high and disgusting, that stuff will only change a little by next week. Idk.

I decided to get back into DDR. Over the years I've tried to do other things - I tried running for a while (as expected, I'm extremely bad at it and barely burn any calories or enjoy it or anything, so I stopped), I have an exercise bike (I used to love spin class and I like getting on the bike and listening to music, but I do also get kind of bored sometimes and my butt always really hurts afterwards even though there's a lot of cushioning both on the bike seat and on me), and thus past year I did some YouTube workouts (I always find these are either too difficult or don't burn enough). I've just never found anything as good as DDR for easily adjustable and personalisable HIIT with a potentially really high calorie burn. I used to be able to do the really fast ones and burn loads, but it's been a long time of bad health since then. So I'll have to start from scratch. I figured I'll try doing the easy songs I used to do when I first started. Thing with DDR is it has workout mode so you can easily set a calorie goal - back then I used to set that goal and then just get to it no matter how long it took, rather than doing like an hour of something that could vary in intensity.

There just isn't a good space in my current house for it all though. I've loved here for a few years and never played DDR properly here because of it. So I had to buy some things and rearrange some things to try to get a good enough space. I have 2 mats and I have no idea where they are. I have a bad feeling they'll have got crushed in storage somewhere. So I bought a new one. But the tracking info says they sent it via Hermes and I hate Hermes so it's not here yet and might not be for a while. They don't exactly make PS2 dancemats anymore so there isn't a whole lot of choice - I'd like it if this one could arrive in good time and not be broken or anything...

Anyway. That's kind of my hope for my weight. It was my best tool in the past, I just kind of stopped. A couple of years after I got into DDR was when I had to run my house and visit hospital and I was too young to drive or anything so I walked a lot. I got all my cardio from that. After that I'm not sure. But it's probably about time I started again. It's been long enough now that I don't feel so bad about the fact that I can't do what I used to either. I'll just have to work my way back up again.

My journal is coming together, I've cooked a little bit to test recipes, I have lists of things to do each day of the week, I have a new skincare routine that's making my skin way better than it was, and I'm going to start DDR again to hopefully lose weight...the irritating thing is I'm only just now well set up to be in quarantine. If there was more lockdown time now, I'd know exactly how to spend all my time because I have everything written out. If hb just left to go stay with his parents or something idk I'd just hide away and work on all this stuff. I feel a little threatened by lockdown lifting. I want to go out and stuff but I know that I'm not very good at sticking to things at home when I have a lot of other stuff to do. If I have a routine and something throws me off, often that's that and I have to start from scratch getting back into that routine. Sometimes I try to get around that by doing everything but then I get burned out. I don't have the same energy as most people.

So I'm a little worried. In theory, as long as I don't drink myself sick, I should be able to have a routine where I wake up and do my chores first, then get going to anything else that's going on. When I made my weekly schedule, I did try to make it somewhat flexible and easy to catch up with. But that's in theory...in practice things are often different. In theory, I always think I'm going to do some exercise on my period, but in practice I'm completely exhausted and everything makes me feel sick and I'm even craving sweet junk foods when I normally don't even crave sweet stuff at all.

I don't know. I'm just so sick of seeing 156 on the scales. I was 156.6 again today. I definitely should be glad it's not higher. It feels higher. And it's just before my period so that could be including some water weight. But I feel way bigger now than I did earlier, so maybe I still have water weight to gain. I could be any weight by the end of the week. I really hate having periods. Nothing has ever stopped them for me. The only thing that came close was the pill, but I can't take that anymore due to the stroke risk. Every month I think maybe I do want a hysterectomy. Just there are so many side effects from that as well. I just hate having had this whole reproductive system in the first place. If I have to have a uterus and all then why can't I have regular 4 day periods that aren't ridiculously heavy and painful and don't give me fucking anemia for a week and actually stop when I take certain hormonal treatments.

I really feel like there's a melon in my belly right now. It's so uncomfortable. Nobody else understands this stuff - I know a lot of women are conditioned to feel self conscious and all because diet culture, but it's really something else when you have an ED. For me it seems to be more relating to my self image and view of weight than actual food. More WD than ED. I wish I had neither or both. If I'm going to hate my body, why can't I be someone who actually does starve and lose weight. Instead I just binge, restrict, eat normally, binge, go through all the cycles, lose nothing, but still hate myself.

Idk. I want to queue some posts but I also don't know if I can look at it while I feel like this. I can't not be aware of my belly right now. I feel 6 months pregnant. I wish it would just fucking go away. It's been almost 2 decades of this.

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 10 | Am I Just Plain Irrelevant? - Josh

Soooo I am the partial owner of an idol with Taylor!!! So hopefully we get ourselves through this round. I need to tell Ari about it but I’m worried they’re gonna tell Taylor, so maybe I’ll just let it be for now. BUT I PROBABLY WILL TELL THEM RN hahahahaha. Idk if they’ll be mad about it or just happy it’s in someone’s hands. The bad thing is that someone has the whiskey too so that idol is out and about as well. I am BEAMING that the vote worked out as it should. 

WHEW ya boi really survived yet again despite being called out as most likable player in the game!!!!!! idk but i deserve some kind of award the vote went pretty much as expected minus all the scrambling/drama that rly isn't interesting to talk about.... now we have some new tea to spill which is a) idols and b) next moves.

a) the idol randomization this round is absolutely chefs kiss - taylor was planning to buy the last gun anyway which she has now done with the help of a loan from dan, and the only other idol that's active is the whiskey that me and jacob have been sipping + which still nobody suspects we have (i hope). taylor thinks josh has it so im like yeah mhm probably! anyway this means we dont have to worry about the vote going screwy and if we really needed we could play that, but i think that won't be necessary. b) so basically immediately after council, taylor says in the 3some group chat that she thinks it's time for jabari to go next and i said yeah good call i have no problem w that. the only people left here who aren't my bffs are jabari and emma, and jabari proved herself a loose cannon this round with trying to flip on ali so as much as i love her, she gotta go. with the newly solidified trust between taylor + dan, i really don't see how this could go wrong (knocks on wood) because that's been the biggest disconnect so far in our majority group and now they have something to share so that should be helpful in bringing everyone closer together.

in other news, taking stock of relationships - taylor dan jacob ali are all still saying they trust me over anyone and wanna take me to final three which is a very cute look for me but obviously i'm not gonna believe it till we get there. i'm starting to get a little worried about how much jacob knows my game, like i mean i tell him everything and im fine w that but i don't want him to get any funny ideas about how he can sell our story better than me! i'm also nervous about dan clocking the two of us because he said something just now about how we were both doing good at keeping people close, "[him] with taylor and [me] with jacob" which i mean yeah duh to an extent i know everyone knows this but i'm still trying my best to distance myself as much as possible. ali im not worried about obvi and taylor i don't think she will vote me out until close to the end so that gives me time to figure out what to do about her at that point. so likeeee i think we should be good for a while? i've bought myself a couple more rounds probably before i have to really start hustling? we'll see but these fools really did say "ari is the most likeable and talented person in this game let's keep them around <3" they will regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel bad for Nic he seemed to have spiraled after the tribal Brandi went. I wonder if this was avoidable but people aren't gonna let the AARP roam free when everyone knows about us which is exactly what I've been thinking from the start. From now on I really have to play smarter. I've been trying to limit the info I give to Ari but I need someone to be 100% honest with and like I'm not a dummy to bring Ari to FTC they'd wipe the floor with me. They just have so much connections and is basically untouchable but people will have to catch up eventually. This is why you always go 5th!!! But for now I plan to hide behind Ari because they're a big target. I honestly dont believe Ari got extorted like lmao ok you've been voted for everything good on touchy subjects and you get extorted for money?? but i'll go along with it and Emma seems to have bad reads so I'm not sure how much I can rely on her to sus things out but I need her as a vote and to pool money with. Taylor seems to be the most open and fluid player so I need to keep a close eye on her. After losing Nic my trust ranking is something like this: 1. Emma* (I just trust Emma the most at this point but I can't let her know everything) 2. Ari* (I also trust Ari the most but I have to limit the info I give to them and only give info that is personally relevant to them) 3. Taylor 4. Jacob 5. Dan 6. Jabari 7. Ali (please do not take 48 hours to reply back or send conversation enders I'm not good at talking to people)

https://prnt.sc/xjoq7k

I'm really annoyed at how Ari seems to be keeping things from me all the time and then telling me things at the last minute where I wouldn't be able to do anything and my dumbass here keeps on telling them things all the time and now Ari told me they lied about their horses? Literally what am I supposed to do Ari is so vague all the time!! I'm not in any position to lie about my horses because I'm taking this opportunity to gain allies but really all this does is make me not trust a lot of people. I don't know who to trust but I don't have the luxury to choose so I'm just blindly gonna follow Ari because they're the only one giving me info. Dan also said he wants to talk to me and Jacob came clean on why he lied to me but I'm just really annoyed. I was in no position to do anything to save Nic and I've been telling everyone I would be fine if Nic goes just tell me if people are voting for him AND THEY DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING? What did they think I was gonna do I haven't bought things from the shop they should know I've been giving Emma money so what the heck yall.

I'm really hoping my talk with Dan will help illuminate some stuff because I'm only getting things from one source (well two but Emma's reads are kinda bad) and I don't even know how long Ari wants me around since Ari is the most well connected person here so all I'm doing is getting on Ari's good side and with my back against the wall I just have to trust them....but I have to play smart if I can survive this next round I think I'll have a general idea on where people stand. I think it would be very funny if I send Ari home at 5th place for the memes but I don't have any pull to even do that.

PS: if you're reading this Ari ily but yes i am very annoyed at the moment <3

Another PS: Am I overestimating my impact in this game or am i just plain irrelevant.

If Jabari wasn’t dead to me in this game before, she certainly is now! She just got off a call with Ali and said I voted him out and she voted to keep him. What a fool. Obviously Ali is gonna tell me about it. He told Taylor first which is..... scary to me because maybe he’s closer with her than me. But he still told me so.

I just wanna make sure if I get to f5, I’m not outnumbered by an OG Beeho alliance that they’ve had from day 1.... which is a possibility but 5th place is also kinda cute? 

alright alright alright okay okay okay i need to be a little less cocky here yeah. the rope purchase this round shook me because i have no mf clue who did that or why and that BOTHERS ME!! we're 99% sure jabari has the rifle, josh would tell me if he did it, and none of my ppl are dumb enough to waste their money on that in the middle of a round so like......... it has to be emma??????????????? but where did emma get that money???????? man i dont know. it bothers me.

either way though, basically it has to be jabari this round and the only possible obstacle is if dan/taylor get too freaked about her possibly having the whiskey. i kinda sorta brought up to jacob that we might want to tell them about it but i think he doesnt rly wanna tell anyone and i don't super want to either so we're just saying josh prob has it, sorry josh, i know u don't drink. so hopefully that should be okay idk i don't see another way this could go wrong but i also have immunity so like that helps.

im also Very Worried about whatever twist is coming down the pike because the ftc schedule does not add up and my spidey senses are tingling i just really hope it's not someone coming back because that would be no fun at all. well ok chloe could come back i'd be fine with that <3

i really don't know how to feel abt my personal relationships w everyone because dan keeps saying like he wants to be with me in the end he doesn't care if he loses as long as he gets to play with good people etc etc and it sounds too good to be true but somehow i believe him? but i gotta keep my head in the game. and then taylor, our talks have gotten more personal lately and she's been just saying so much of how amazing she thinks i am and how grateful she is we've met and i'm not saying i don't believe that, i'm just saying it makes me nervous because i can't let that distract me from the very real possibility she makes a move against me at some point. it's safest to assume dan and taylor will come together to flip on me EVENTUALLY and probably SOON so we just have to get there first. which is why my priority thus far in merge has been eliminating all the wild cards as quickly as possible. brandi we didn't know where she was truly at, nic would have kept shaking things up, and jabari's so hard to read because the way she plays is just on a different level from everybody else. so if all of them are gone, then i'm really truly not worried about josh or emma because they're both floaters not scramblers and that leaves me with a group of people whose motives i can understand and predict at least to some extent. the devils you know, right? so hopefully i can keep that up and keep a step ahead of them for a while longer!!

i'm getting a little too used to this look.... https://prnt.sc/xl0ne8

Welcome to my Ted Talk :D

I have been hurt  by this game, I know I am not a bad person, I am loved in my personal life because I love giving. I guess people do not really get how real I am. It is just sad. I never have won an ORG and I really want too. :(

I get its a game and all but i was gutted when people lied to me about horses, it honestly makes me think there's bigger things at play. I might have to find other options in this case 

so many thoughts... um i'm starting to think a lot more about how to get to the end game with ppl that i think i can beat and it's just a lot to think about and i'm afraid if i'm gonna do that i'm gonna piss a lot of ppl off by making big moves and stuff and that is just so scary to me but it must be done

I heard it was jabari but why ppl just going for people in the bottom thinking about just telling jabari hey girl if u have an idol play it im burnt out because im on the very outs the only person here is making me wanting to play is josh if hes gone its gonna be super hard to play this game without them my will to play = lost even tho its hard now rather me then him going if the jabari thing is a lie.

Y’all I am SPENT. I just feel like each round I find myself slipping deeper and deeper into crackheadery and I need to RELAX. I am really proud of the game I have been playing and if I go out now, I’m going to be crushed but also proud. I would be proud of the fact that I was seen as a threat and got taken out bc of it. I don’t want to think negatively but there are SO many idols in play it’s hard to really navigate these votes.

I know the shotgun is with me and Taylor but this fricken whiskey is MIA??? I am hoping someone like Ari has it. They have been really certain that no BS is gonna go down tonight, but how can you be so sure unless you have the idol no one knows the location of?? I mean they’re also safe with immunity so idk.

I am just gonna hope I’ve put enough work in with people to not get voted out tonight. And if I do, it is what it is! 

Power Rankings: ONE - ARI  (+1) Threat: 9 (-1) Trust: 9 (NC) This week was definitely Ari’s week. They won immunity, had everyone give them the correct horses. They also got put in an alliance with josh and I where we got good intel from the other side and what they’re thinking. I think anyone would be stupid to believe that Ari isn’t the biggest threat in the game. TWO - TAYLOR (+1) Threat: 8 (+1) I put myself at two for the same reasons as Ari. I think the other side is opening up to me more now that nic is gone, I have more info. I’m also trying to make people feel guilty for listening to nic. Really using manipulation in a sense to make them feel bad for me. I also want good rapport with them as jury management is key in this stage. THREE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 7 (NC) Trust: 7 (-1) Jacob is someone I’m surprised to seee high this week. However, with being included in the whispers last round, and again this round without his name coming up, I think he deserves to rank third this round. Jacob’s game is very under the radar, and hes playing really well with the power to take the game in the direction he wants. FOUR - JOSH (+4) Threat: 4 (NC) Trust: 6 (+1) Josh got to work this round which is a pleasant surprise. He made an alliance with Ari and I which was a great move for his game. There is also a really good chance he has an idol this round. So he does hold a lot of power and information compared to his past rounds. FIVE - ALI (+2) Threat: 4 (NC) Trust: 10 (+1) Ali seems to have steered clear of his name being on the chopping block this round. Honestly Nic going last round is just as good of a move for my game as it was Ali’s. He just doesn’t have as much information and if he does get any information he comes directly to Ari and I. SIX - DAN (-5) Threat: 8 (NC) Trust: 9 (+1) Dan really plummeted this week as every crazy good week normally follows a terrible week unless you do the right damage control. I think Dan is complacent in our alliance and felt the need to not worry about the mess he was going to leave behind after nic left. But now people don’t trust him, and his name has been brought up by the minority. SEVEN - EMMA (+1) Threat: 1 (+1) Trust: 4 (+4) Emma like usual is toward the end of the power rankings. Her and I did clear the air, but I still don’t like how she just let nic dictate how she played the game. I understand she’s extremely loyal but to not talk to someone for three rounds because your ally doesn’t like them is questionable gameplay. It’s likely Emma goes this round if Jabari idols. EIGHT - JABARI (-4) Threat: 6 (+3) Trust: 0 (-2) After the shady round jabari had last week, it’s no surprise she’s in hot water this round. She also did a terrible job damage controlling the situation. She lied and said Dan flipped, threw multiple people under the bus, and no she’s acting extremely nervous. She’s become everyone’s number one target because she tried to flip at the wrong time.

Okay so im nervous but if i go it isss what it isss Jabari is the plan i think theres a big chance she has an idol im like debating if i should yolo it and throw my vote at jacob i love jacob but i feel like at this point they are kinda in the core alliance how i see it maybe rn are like ari-ali-jacob jacob with dan > Taylor > Jabari i am glad that me and taylor either are good or gonna end this game good idk if i am going yet but after this vote if i survive i really want to work with taylor!! either way i have nothing bad to say about taylor i think shes great me working with nic kinda hindered trust there but i am to loyal to default this game i do love nic tho but atleast i kinda have a game to play!! idk i am also probably just gonna vote for jabari because if its like 4-3-1 mega oof ASDFG i dont trust any of these hoes yet except for josh oh well if i go which i think its a high chance of me going atleast he gets 400 dollars richer hehe also i didnt even want jabari out at first but then she tried to throw me under the bus to dan smh

dont trust anyone not even urself