#elizabeth zapata

[lichtecht]

elizabeth!!!!!! my girl!!!!

[justusjonas]

my beloved supporting cast…

[leaderofthetransfembobagenda]

I made a meme about a discovery I made recently

[tatort-rocky-beach]

Ich hab meine ao3 Aktivität etwas schleifen lassen, möchte aber bald wieder was machen. Bin ja mit Teil drei von meiner bi!Bob Reihe noch nicht fertig. Ich hab auch theoretisch ein weiteres Kapitel schon fertig, weiß aber nicht, ob ich es zweiteilen soll oder was komplett anderes zwischenschiebe. 🤔

Teil 3, Winter, soll ja eher negative Erfahrungen abdecken und das Kapitel, das jetzt fertig ist, wäre als Abschluss für Teil 3 ganz gut, mit potentieller Fortsetzung in Teil 4. Deshalb würde ich gerne noch ein Kapitel vorher reinpacken. But Idk.

Vielleicht kann ich Liz einbauen? Ich hab kaum canon Infos über sie, aber da ist bestimmt Potential für Drama drin. Gibt es überhaupt canon Intel über Liz' Charakter? Außer dass sie Bobs Freundin war?

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: The Blacklist

Sample Size: 2,766 stories

Source: AO3

[spilladabalia]

7 Year Bitch M.I.A.

[jeevesreads]

15 Romance Books Where He Falls First

Not gonna lie, I eat this trope up every time. Whether he’s grumpy or sweet, jumps in right away or takes his time, a hero who knows a good thing when he sees it is always going to be appealing. This has only been an official “trope” for the last couple of years, but I’ve been loving seeing it gain in popularity so, so much. A smitten hero who is totally gone for his girl is a thing of beauty,…

[writerthreads]

10 enemies to lovers book recommendations

By Chatgpt because I don’t have enough recs sorry!!

1. "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen

This classic novel follows the spirited Elizabeth Bennet and the proud Mr. Darcy as they navigate misunderstandings and societal expectations on their journey from initial disdain to true love.

2. "The Hating Game" by Sally Thorne

Lucy and Joshua are coworkers who share an intense mutual dislike. However, when they're up for a promotion, their relationship takes an unexpected turn, leading to a delightful romantic comedy.

3. "The Unhoneymooners" by Christina Lauren

Olive and Ethan despise each other but are forced to go on a honeymoon trip together. This leads to a series of humorous mishaps and eventually a change of heart.

4. "The Kiss Quotient" by Helen Hoang

Stella, a successful woman with Asperger's, hires an escort, Michael, to help her gain more experience in romantic relationships. What starts as a business arrangement turns into something deeper.

5. "The Cruel Prince" by Holly Black

In this dark fantasy novel, Jude, a mortal girl, despises the wicked faerie prince, Cardan. But as she becomes embroiled in the treacherous world of the fae, her feelings for him become complicated.

6. "Red, White & Royal Blue" by Casey McQuiston

Alex, First Son of the United States, and Prince Henry of Wales have a longstanding rivalry. After a public altercation, they're forced to fake a friendship, which turns into something much more.

7. "Vicious" by L.J. Shen

This steamy romance novel features enemies-to-lovers dynamics between a ruthless billionaire, Baron, and a young woman, Melody, who is determined to get her revenge.

8. "The Wall of Winnipeg and Me" by Mariana Zapata

Vanessa works as a personal assistant to a gruff football player, Aiden. Over time, their contentious relationship evolves into a deep and heartfelt love story.

9. "The Simple Wild" by K.A. Tucker

Calla heads to Alaska to reconnect with her estranged father, who's a pilot. She butts heads with Jonah, one of her father's employees, leading to a tumultuous and passionate romance.

10. "The Flatshare" by Beth O'Leary

Tiffy and Leon share a flat but never meet. They communicate through notes and slowly discover each other's lives, forming a unique connection that turns into a sweet love story.

[iknowthesugarplumfairy]

7 Year Bitch performing “The Scratch” at Trees, Dallas TX October 1, 1994

FYI:

“Inspired by Seattle punk band the Gits and their fiery vocalist Mia Zapata, 7 Year Bitch is one of the most aggressive punk bands on the American indie scene. Vocalist Selene Vigil, guitarist Stefanie Sargent and drummer Valerie Agnew were playing in the Seattle group Barbie’s Dream Car when their bassist left for Europe. They recruited Elizabeth Davis and played their first shows with the Gits. After a self-titled debut single in 1990, 7 Year Bitch signed with C/Z Records. The first album Sick ‘Em appeared in 1992, but was overshadowed by Sargent’s death just before it was released; Roisin Dunne became the guitarist’s replacement the following year. In July 1993, Mia Zapata was brutally killed in Seattle, and 7 Year Bitch recorded ¡Viva Zapata! as a tribute. The group then signed with Atlantic and in 1996 released Gato Negro, their major-label debut.”

-7 Year Bitch Biography by John Bush/All Music

Video via Bleeding Orchids YouTube

[lichtecht]

die mädchen sind übrigens auch alle trans

[justusjonas]

GIRLS 🤔

[leaderofthetransfembobagenda]

Die Drei Fragezeichen characters as Cavetown songs

Justus: Ur Gonna Wish U Believed Me

Peter: Home

Bob: Snail

Skinny: worm food

Jeffrey: a kind thing to do

Finnley: Boys Will Be Bugs

Dylan: 1994

Kelly: fall in love with a girl

Lys: frog

Liz: Just Add Water

Lesley: wasabi

Jelena: juno

[critical-quoter]

May Books

I think I'm slowing down. A few of the books this month were rough and took so much longer than usual to get through.

Trick or Trucee - Kristen Granata ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Soldier for the Starling - Breanna Lynn ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Raiders of the Lost Heart - Jo Segura ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ In Your Pucking Dreams - Sheridan Anne ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Love Esq. - Devon Atwood ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Binding Rose - Ivy Fox ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Mooning Over a Monster - Lauren Connolly ⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Playlist - Morgan Elizabeth ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Storms and Secrets - Claire Kingsley ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Wild Love - Elsie Silver ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Handling Mr. Harper - Elle Nicole ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Viper - Margaret McHeyzer ⭐️⭐️ Arranged Deception - C. C. Monroe ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Flock - Kate Stewart ⭐️⭐️ Inevitable Ella - V. H. Nicolson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Broken Strings - Pamela O'Roarke ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Only in Your Dreams - Ellie K. Wilde ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Assisting the Bosshole - Kristin MacQueen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Hearts in Winter - Carrie Elks ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Before the Chaos - Maggie Radon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Rival Hearts - Maggie Rawdon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ When the Night Falls - Nureyluna ⭐️⭐️ Con - B. J. Alpha ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Frozen Flames - V. H. Nicolson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Flames of Seduction - Belle Dawson ⭐️ Come Out, Come Out - Alexia Onyx ⭐️⭐️ Friday Night Lies - C. W. Farnsworth ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Camera Shy - Kay Cove ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Who's Your Daddy - Lauren Rowe ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Vicious - L. J. Shen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Defy - L. J. Shen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Breathe for Me - Brittany Ann ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Lost in Him - Harloe Rae ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Demons and Roses - Beka Westrup ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ King of Wrath - Ana Huang ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Binding 13 - Chloe Walsh ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Keeping 13 - Chloe Walsh ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Swipe for a Cosmo - Megan Wade ⭐️⭐️ Meet Odin - J. Wine ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Odin - J. Wine ⭐️⭐️⭐️ King - S. J. Tilly ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Auction - L. Knight ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Whistleblower - Kay Cove ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Doing It Right - Harloe Rae ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Wall St. Jerk - Megan Wade ⭐️⭐️⭐️ My Dark Romeo - Parker S. Huntington & L. J. Shen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Lovestruck - Julie Capulet ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Moments of Malevolence - T. L. Smith ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ P. S. I Hate You - Winter Renshaw ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Devilish Ink - Sienna Blake ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Dust Storm - Maggie Gates ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Read Between the Stars - Natalie Parker ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Wrong Bride - Catharina Maura ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Man of Action - Elle Rivers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Once You're Mine - Morgan Bridges ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Now You're Mine - Morgan Bridges ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Strung Along - Hannah Cowen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Wall of Winnipeg - Mariana Zapata ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Escape the Light - A. R. Thomas ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Brutal Prince - Sophie Lark ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Wanted - A. M. Wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Consider Me - Becka Mack ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Mayhem and Minnie - Veronica Lancet ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Don't Let Me Down - Kelsie Rae ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

64 total books read for May 2024

[ohbo-ohno]

book recs pls? U have amazing taste

im gonna assume this is half in reference to the lilith vincent book i mentioned earlier so i'll give you some of my favorite romances 💞 i tried not to rec a book i've already suggested here before, so some of my very favorites ever are left out!

the authors I'll read like literally anything by are Tessa Bailey, Lily Gold, Ana Huang, J.T. Geissinger, Elsie Silver, Harley Laroux, Rina Kent... and probably someone I'm forgetting tbh but those are some of my favs

also i got a little out of hand and these are kinda all over the place lmao, but here we go! my standards for romance are very low btw so don't judge my taste

Darker romances:

Sticking with Lilith Vincent - I love her books Brutal Intentions and (to a lesser extent) Pageant. Brutal Intentions is a step-dad romance, Pageant (the first of two books, I think the second is wayyy better) is like... dark, mafia, reverse harem, kidnapping, a whole lot tbh. Look up trigger warnings!!! I think she lists them at the start of the book

I don't particularly like H.D. Carlton (I very much so disliked Haunting/Hunting Adeline) but I fucking LOVED her book Does It Hurt? If you want fucked up characters, toxic relationships, noncon, and a pretty well-written subplot for a self-published romance I would recommend this one! (tbh I'm half convinced it's ghostwritten, I cant fathom Haunting Adeline and Does It Hurt? being written by the same person)

Sinners Anonymous & it's sequels by Somme Sketcher. Mafia romance. Age-gap. Kinda trashy but very fun imo. Also read Danielle Lori's Made series if that sounds neat to you!

M.L. Marian's Claimed & Tamed series. Each book follows a different man in the same family where the tradition is that men kidnap their wives. My favorite is Caught <3

Romcoms/Lighter stuff:

I like most Mariana Zapata books, but my favorite is either Under Locke or Luna and the Lie. I've read 7 of her books and they're all basically the same structure with the same characters, so if you read one and like the dynamics you'll probably like her others

One Percent of You by Michelle Gross is my favorite single mom romance of all time. Tattoo artist who hates kids falls in love with his over-worked neighbor who's a single mother of two. SO cute and soft

Bittersweet by Morgan Elizabeth. tattoo artist x baker, this is one of my favorite romcoms ever.

Sunny Disposition by Deanna Gray. Amnesia, college, hockey, roommates to lovers, this is a very soft and fun read that I enjoyed as a bit of a palette cleanser. Iirc it was a little long, but a good time

Other??:

When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare. I don't like historical romance much, but this doesn't really feel like one to me! A woman makes up a soldier to write letters to so she can avoid getting married, and years later he shows up on her doorstep ready for their wedding. This is so much fun

Transcendence by Shay Savage - two words for you: Caveman Romance. This is told entirely from the caveman's perspective and tells the story of him meeting a woman who's very odd (because she's from the future) and their life together. It drags a little bit at times, but I think it's so so fun and the end had me crying

King by TM Frazier goes a little off the rails, but I had fun with it. The main character is called 'Pup' for like 90% of the book and that was enough for me. Our FMC has amnesia and is taken in by a local gang leader and the plot goes from there

Under His Heel by Adara Wolf - ok before I say what this is about, I cannot overstate how dark and fucked up this book series is. They're disturbing. I loved them, I've read them all at least twice, but they are deeply upsetting. It takes place in space in the far distant future and follows our main character Alex as he becomes an indentured servant for a sociopath named Captain Tracht. These books are a weird mix of porn and plot, but if you want fucked up smut and fucked up relationship dynamics, this is the holy grail

[storiesofsvu]

Hidden Desires Ch 12

Alex Cabot x reader Warnings: language, angst, lots of it.

The entire night had been spent at the precinct, exhausting every last resource the squad could to try and get any information about what had happened. Since Liv and Elliot had been on the scene they knew there were no street witnesses, but a canvas was sent out to see if any of the neighbouring apartments had seen anything, heard anything. They checked for street cams, staring at countless hours of surveillance tapes trying to find the same car from the scene, try to get a clip of even one letter from the plate. Ballistics was on hold until the lab opened in the morning, as was talking to the various prisoners that had already put threats out against Alex.

As the hours went on you were let on to more of the information Alex had kept from you, that these guys had your address, had her mother’s address, that Zapata had basically threatened her when she’d made a sassy remark during an interview. Olivia quietly reassured you that she was sure Alex wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you, but just wanted to keep you safe and as far away from the danger of the case as possible.

You only managed to drag yourself away from the 1-6 when your alarm went off on your phone. That and…every lead was exhausted that they could get a hold of. You made sure Liv knew that you needed to know the second anything came in involving the case before traipsing down to Hogan Place.

*

It was just before your stomach began to grumble for lunch when you heard the door to your office open. You had your head down in your arms, you’d almost been asleep before the vision of Alex bleeding out in the street began to invade your imagination, forgoing the exhaustion seeping through your bones.

“Shouldn’t you be in court?” Donnelly’s voice broke through your thoughts. You didn’t move, simply mumbling a reply against your arm.

“Made a deal.”

“Don’t you have about four other cases you should probably be working on then?” You felt a folded paper drop onto your head, letting it slide off as Liz took a seat in front of your desk, just out of your eyeline.

“Made deals on all of them…don’t have any fight left in me…” you let out a heavy sigh, knowing you weren’t about to get out of this conversation. Shoving yourself up you moved through your office, pouring a fresh cup of coffee, offering one to Elizabeth.

“You look like crap.” She returned, “your girlfriend let you walk around this place in sweatpants?” You gave a watery laugh as you fell back into your chair, running your hands through your hair, “she wasn’t in her office, and I can’t find Paxton.” You barely heard her second sentence, brain still wrapped around the ‘your girlfriend’ part.

“She’s not exactly my girlfriend anymore.” Liz sighed at the way your eyes began to glass over at your words, shaking her head as she put her coffee mug down.

“This is why I should’ve said no when you two disclosed, you can’t bring your personal bullshit into work just because you broke up.” You raised your head to your boss, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted in confusement and disbelief.

“Have you been living under a rock all morning?” Your voice nearly shook with your words and it was Liz’s turn to be confused, you were a great lawyer and a strong woman at that, why was something so trivial bothering you this much.

“I took the morning off, thought I was coming down with something so I slept in. I just got here.”

“You haven’t seen the paper…” now the shake was gone from your voice but it was so quiet it barely echoed through the room. Your hand grabbed the New York Times that sat on your desk, tossing it to Liz. You’d had to flip it over, the image of Alex’s face staring back up at you too hard for today, especially with you running on zero steam.

“This…this can’t be true…” Liz’s gaze shot up to yours. You sniffled, taking a deep breath,

“Benson and Stabler were with her when she was hit, outside some bar.” You were surprised to feel a tear burning its way down your cheek, quickly brushing it away, “I was at the precinct all night with them trying to get anything but there’s no leads aside from knowing it’s somehow linked to Zapata…but we can’t prove it…”

“Oh God…” She dropped the paper down onto a free chair, “are you okay?”

“No…” you nearly laughed, “I will be once this bastard’s behind bars.” She gave you a stern look that you knew was a warning of you being too close to the case to prosecute, but you simply turned your attention to your coffee, “I was gonna go through her case load this afternoon but I can’t bring myself to go into her office…”

“Oh sweetheart…” Liz’s hand reached out, squeezing at yours, “I’ll go through it with Branch, you don’t worry about that okay?” She mustered up the best of a smile she could while you nodded, “how’s Sonya taking it?” You snorted.

“Exactly how you think she is.” You nodded toward the coffee table, “she polished off what was left of the Jack and disappeared after I told her.”

“Jesus..” She muttered, you gave a weary glance to your cell phone.

“The bartender at her usual place has my number…and I’ve been calling her every couple of hours to make sure she’s not choking on her own puke. I checked her schedule to make sure she didn’t have any appearances today, she’s clear.”

“You know you don’t have take care of everything around here. But I do need you taking care of yourself right now, understand?” You gave her a small nod, “why don’t you go home? Get outta here for the afternoon?”

“You really think going home where all of Alex’s stuff is is gonna make me feel better? Where I can still smell her perfume lingering in the air?” Liz stalled at your response,

“You…two were living together?”

“Yeah…” you wiped another stray tear away, God, where were they even coming from at this point?

“I didn’t realize it was that serious.” As much as she needed to know what was going on with her staff, she also respected your privacy and boundaries, she wasn’t about to go sticking her nose into your business when she didn’t need to.

“I wanted to marry her…” your voice was back to that quiet far away tone, your gaze not even latched onto anything in the room while your hand toyed with the gem still linked around your neck.

You didn’t even hear what Elizabeth said next, your brain still processing the fact that you’d finally said it out loud. You’d known it for weeks, you’d felt it for over a month, Alex had always been someone who had made you so incredibly happy, but once she was a solid part of your daily life, you knew you wanted to keep it that way. You said a silent thank your to whatever higher power was out there that you hadn’t wasted money buying a ring…all things considered…

“Y/N?”

“Sorry…” you shook out of it, glancing towards the older woman again, “what?”

“Go home…or…go track down Paxton or something. You can’t sit here all day doing nothing, you’ll drive yourself crazy. At least do it somewhere sweatpants are an acceptable piece of attire.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her words.

“Fine…” You pushed back from your desk, tossing the few things you needed into your bag before turning to the older woman as she stood, “are…you gonna be okay?” You felt nearly embarrassed to ask, knowing Donnelly was, without a doubt one of the strongest and badass women that you knew, but something like this would hit close to home, you knew her and Alex were close, and Alex had always spoken very highly of her.

“I will be.” She sighed, a hand softly clapping on your shoulder, “this isn’t the first time something like this has happened at the D.A’s office…and it won’t be the last. So please…be careful trying to solve this case..I need at least one of my prosecutors in working shape. And you’re the best one I’ve got.”

“Thanks…” you murmured, avoiding her gaze. You were genuinely surprised when she sighed, tugging you into her arms, and even more surprised when you felt her lips hit the top of your head in a maternal fashion. You’d never known Elizabeth Donnelly to be soft, you were honestly surprised she was even okay with sending you home for the rest of the day.  “What if SVU calls?” You asked bleakly as you pulled away from the hug.

“Forward them to me.” You gave a small nod, moving toward the door before you froze, turning back to her.

“Uh- the uh…the funeral’s on Friday…if..you’re interested.”

“Of course…y/n..I really am incredibly sorry.”

“Thanks Liz.”

You managed to give her one last nod before leaving the office, escaping the place you’d spent so many hours with Alex. Not that it helped that you at least needed to stop at home next, you weren’t sure what you were exactly supposed to do there, surrounded by her things. What were you supposed to even do with them now that she was gone? Did you hold on to them? Wear her clothes? Give them to her family? Your brain was a fucking scramble and you had no idea how to fix it this time.

*

The funeral was a fucking emotional disaster, though you weren’t surprised. Alex’s parent’s knew you from college, and you nearly burst into tears when her Mom insisted you sit with them and that she’d been so excited to see the two of you at Christmas that year. She held your hand the entire way through the service, squeezing tightly whenever she heard a strangled sniffle or cry. You weren’t sure why, but Olivia seemed to be avoiding you the entire day, she’d given you a small nod of affection, a few small words of condolences again, but she was far from the woman who’d showed up unexpectedly to your apartment earlier that month. You were glad to see more than a few friendly faces from the D.A’s office and courthouse there, along with the entire SVU squad. You weren’t surprised when you saw Sonya stumbling her way through the repast, doing your best to put her into a cab, keeping her behaviour unnoticed by anyone else. It wasn’t long afterwards that you ducked out yourself without saying any goodbyes, you just couldn’t fucking bare it anymore. You needed to grieve how you wanted to grieve, and that involved burrowing yourself in the blanket on the back of the couch that still smelt like Alex’s shampoo while finally finishing Schitt’s Creek, polishing of the bottle of wine she’d bought for your upcoming anniversary. What you weren’t expecting was the final season of the comedy, the one that had made you realize you could have feelings for someone like Alex, the one that had technically brought you together, was able to make you ugly cry over the soft romantic and family values that it ended up being very capable of. You woke up hungover, very dehydrated, and still on the couch the next morning, hating life even more than you did before.

*

In the following month you started to realize you’d need to start to box up Alex’s personal things, you just couldn’t handle having them around the apartment any longer. Not that you spent much time there, you spent so much goddamn unpaid overtime working thanks to Sonya still being a disaster that you were barely home. You were quick to toss anything like perfume, body wash and the like, things that you wouldn’t use, that you didn’t want the scents remaining in the apartment. Smaller Knick knacks, things that had meant more to her you packed up, stashing into the closet in your home office. You knew she had expensive taste when it came to clothes, managing to convince Liz into coming over to go through her side of the closet, sorting out what you should take to a consignment store versus just donating. You kept a few things, a spare Harvard t-shirt that you already liked to sleep in, a comfy pair of pyjama pants that were softer than yours, but you did your best to get rid of her stuff. It absolutely destroyed your heart to see it go, and you couldn’t lie, you still cried about it on a pretty regular basis, even if it was alone, in the cold bed of your apartment. Everyone at work commended you for keeping it together that someone you worked so closely with had been killed, only Liz kept a closer eye on you, making sure you weren’t about to go off the deep end. You managed to keep everything under control, keeping your job on a good level, prosecuting the crimes you could.

You wouldn’t ever deny it.

The night you found out that you’d never be able to prosecute Alex’s murder, that there was no way to track down the bastard that killed her, that there somehow wasn’t a lick of evidence, you smashed multiple wine glasses on the kitchen floor. You collapsed on the living room floor in a fit of tears, unable to even think of what you were supposed to do with your future. Bringing justice to Alex was all you’d been looking forward to, and now even that bleak option was gone.

You weren’t the only one to take it hard, and honestly, you surprised yourself when you were the one knocking on Elizabeth Donnelly’s office door a couple of days later.

“What can I help with?” You were genuinely surprised when her voice was soft, knowing that you were probably circling back to the first level of mourning due to the recent news.

“I need a new A.D.A.” You sighed, “I can’t keep doing the work of three of us and picking up the slack from homicide…it’s way too much. Liz..I’m at my breaking point…”

“Homicide has a new one starting tomorrow, transferred in from Queens. Branch made personal calls to the precinct to tell them to stop calling you.”

“Thank you…but I meant in SVU.” You hated yourself for what you were about to do, you hated being the person who snitched on a friend, but you were going through enough already, you couldn’t stay as strong as you wanted to.

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to hand me a resignation.”

“No!” You shot back, “but…you need to suspend Sonya…she needs to go to rehab…” you dropped into the chair in front of her desk, daring to meet her eyes.

“What?”

“I’ve been covering for her for weeks Elizabeth…I’ve been doing her case work, writing her arguments for her, cause she’s just too fucked up to do it herself. I’m so sorry…I never wanted to be this person, but..I can’t do it anymore. I just had Liv breathalyzer her in my office and she blew a 1.8…she’s supposed to be in court in an hour.”

“Are you kidding me?” You basically shrunk in your chair at the tone in her voice and she noticed it instantly.

“I’m sorry…” the tears you’d been trying to hold back, especially in this interaction began to threaten to burst from your eyes, “I just..it’s not fair…I mean…Sonya lost a friend sure, but somehow she’s the one allowed to be a complete mess, to show up to work drunk and it just gets blown off?! Meanwhile I’m the one stuck cleaning out Alex’s stuff from our apartment?! I feel like I’m a strand of silly string trying to hold the goddamn department together right now and I can’t keep doing this if Branch doesn’t hire someone else!”

You buried your face into your hands, trying to hold back the tears, trying to not shudder from the cries begging to escape your body in front of your supervisor. You heard a shuffle as she moved through the office, surprised when you felt her hands on your wrists, moving your hands from your face, tilting your chin up to hers.

“Don’t ever sell yourself short. I’ve told you before and I will tell you again, you’re one of the greatest prosecutors that I have, and you always will be. I’m incredibly proud of you for coming to me about Paxton…it takes a lot of guts to do that when it’s not only a friend but someone with seniority over you. I’ll talk to Branch, I’ll see about getting someone transferred into SVU. I know he mentioned there were a few people with paperwork already started. And please…remember you’re not alone in this…”

“Thank you…” you murmured out, taking a breath as you wiped your tears from your face, “and…could you maybe suggest a lateral transfer? Or at least someone that has an idea of what sex crimes entails. I really don’t have the energy to coach some baby lawyer into the world of SVU.”

“I’ll do what I can.” Liz gave you the usual tight smile, “now how about you go home…have a drink..or..don’t..” she grimaced slightly, “just..take care of yourself. I’ll get someone to cover Paxton’s case.”

“Thank you.” You managed to shoot her a weak smile before you left her office.

Things may have not be anywhere near good, but maybe, just maybe they were getting better. You hated that you’d been the one to turn on Sonya, her being one of the only friends you had now, especially since Olivia had been so distant. You figured it was because her and Alex had been so close, that she was just as fucked up as you were now, or there was some weird history you’d never been indulged to. You thought you’d been able to lean on each other, but as things looked, you had Donnelly, and that was much more professional than anything else. You were only thankful when later that evening, after nearly a bottle of wine you’d gotten a text from Liz that the new A.D.A had been secured for your department, and would be starting within the next few days. If everything was going to be a fucking dumpster fire, at least you’d have someone to share the burden with, even if they didn’t know why the fire was lit in the first place.

[indelibleevidence]

Apparently I didn't do this the first time round (what was wrong with me?), so here are my 4x02 thoughts:

Really cool puzzles in this episode - both the magnetite map and the ATM have such great solutions. I wonder who came up with the creepy facial recognition gas-ATM.

I get why Patterson was so pissed at Boston to begin with this time around (the whole 'I coded a backdoor into Wizardville so I could snoop on people's phones' thing was a massive betrayal of trust, even if he then apologised and helped the team arrest his terrorist boyfriend), but why was Boston so mean to Kurt? 'You got one, Limpy!' I'd love to see you survive a gut shot, Boston (and let's be realistic, if they hadn't stopped the show at season 4.5, he probably would have gotten one, because gut shots are Blindspot's favourite injury - Mayfair, Jane, Roman, Patterson, Kurt, Keaton, Weitz...).

I've said it before and I'll say it again - as much as I love both Rich and Boston, the comedy gay couple/sassy gay friend trope makes me facepalm. I just don't get the sense in this episode that these men are attracted to each other, despite Rich's cooing. They have sibling chemistry, not ex-lovers who are still pining for each other, and they remind me of children squabbling over who gets the first cookie. 🙄 At least 4x08 goes a little way towards fixing that (until Rich ruins it by being a total asshole).

Remi's face when Sokolov describes the FBI as hamstrung by bureaucracy and ego is just awesome. She's like, 'Yep, this guy gets it.'

And again, the FBI's 'shoot first, ask questions later' policy comes back to bite them, because if Sokolov had lived, no 4x08... 🤷‍♀️ But also, I have no idea how they would have written it into the show, so...

The Remi and Roman scenes just made me so sad, because Remi is completely alone, talking to her brother who isn't there, trying to justify herself and her convictions (which we see at the start of 4x03, she isn't that sure of. 'Of course I can kill my husband...but not right now, that wouldn't be the right time.'

They really could have used the 'Zapata was on the plane, but not really' plot thread to make everyone cry, but they didn't bother. I wonder if they filmed a scene or two that were cut for length. I'll forever be sad that we never got any deleted scenes for seasons 4 or 5. 😭

Sometimes Blindspot is as subtle as a brick to the face with its cases and subplot parallels, but they did a great job with this episode. Sokolov being able to convince agents from multiple agencies to hand over documents, because there's no inter-agency cooperation, goes nicely with Keaton's complete lack of inter-agency cooperation re: Zapata (and why does it need to be kept so super secret that even a team working to take HCI Global down can't be read in, Keaton?). And Madeline's gleeful confession that she killed her husband pairs really well with Remi mixing up a little gift for Kurt at the end of the episode.

Audrey did so well with her 'I hate this undercover assignment' scene. Poor Tasha. Even though I don't see why Reade couldn't know, I do feel awful for her.

Madeline has such potential to be a great villain, but they just didn't bother to go anywhere meaningful with her. Helios was pretty masterful as a plan, but her underlying motives with her father are tissue-paper thin. :/ It makes all of the Helios arc feel kind of pointless, in retrospect. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio does a great job, but after Shepherd and Roman, Madeline is just meh. Plus Remi just steals the show with her plotting and scheming.

Remi turning an argument around on Kurt again is so much fun to watch, and especially the way she course-corrects with the giant eyes and 'I just want to help people, just like you' stuff. Makes me think of the Jane-as-Goth!Remi episode, where she's just overly bitchy. 😁

Brb, squeeing over every moment of Remi now! Especially her knowing that he'll be first through the door to save her, even though she doesn't remember anything about being in the field with him from being Jane.