#emotional neil josten

[theseyellowdays]

One thing I genuinely think the fandom forgets or underestimates is just how weird Neil is. Like we paint him to be this carismatic, flashy, cocky bad boy, but in reality he's stingy, skittish, balks at anything more personal then his thoughts on Exy and Cannot for the life of him socialize. Like in the Raven King, right after Seth dies, he straight up goes:

"Neil had to patch things up with [Allison] somehow, but he didn't know where to start. He'd never been good at winning people over. Someone like Allison wasn't likely to be his first success. "

Neil's spent his life living on the outskirts of "average" life. Ergo, he's cagey and flighty and so far removed from normal that even among the Foxes he'll always be a little unpredictable and odd. And you know what, good for him; we all deserve an antisocial introverted asshole to raly behind.

[emry-stars-art]

I still need practice, but digital coloring is getting a little easier 💕

[grooviestguru]

sometimes i think about how neil's first words to the foxes after baltimore was to immediately ask where andrew was, and i wonder if andrew heard him

[lemonboyjosten]

[foxpile]

“He wasn’t a Raven, but he was, same as Jean. He was Jean’s misplaced forever partner, an unfulfilled promise Jean had stopped believing in years ago.”

and what if i cried

[fallenstarzz]

So when Neil Josten wants to keep a binder full of news clippings and pictures as a shrine to Kevin Day in a way to hold on to a good but tainted memory of his childhood and a life he can never have, no one complains. But when I, Riko Moriyama-

[prince-peachie]

Neil and his son

[riceballannie]

The funniest thing about All For The Game was figuring out who the love interest was because I swear to everything holy to me that I did mental gymnastics on the olympics level.

Because at first I thought it was Kevin. My first argument was "Oh yeah, people dig the tall, dark and traumatized Male Lead shit nowadays". And Kevin and Neil knew each other as kids? AND got traumatized TOGETHER? I was convinced it was going to be some dramatic ass reveal and some bonding afterwards or something because this was love interest material right here ( which I now know to be because Neil, Andrew and Kevin were intially supposed to end up in a poly relationship ).

Then Neil revealed that he did not swing and I was like "Cool, my dude is on the aromantic or asexual spectrum or even both, I respect that because who even needs a relationship anyway, he'll just stay hot, rich and single".

On the other hand I suspected Andrew and Kevin to have a thing for each other because they had the certain energy around them which even Neil noticed.

But??? I'm an overthinker. I overthink a lot and I analyze shit and I'm good at it and there was NO WAY there was nothing going between Andrew and Neil because I noticed the fucking build up from the get go. Their scenes together increased? Truth for a truth? Their moments on the roof? Neil asking and Andrew doing everything he asks? Neil putting Andrews hands under his shirt and Andrew letting Neil touch him? Neil going to the Ravens for Andrew? My alarms were blaring and my brain was working overtime and I figured out pretty soon that the both of them were endgame. At this point it wasn't even a question of 'if' but 'when'.

Yeah, suffice to say that Andrew, the man, the myth, the legend, still managed to come in like a wrecking ball and utterly annihilate all of my expectations with the iconic "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" line. I remember I was on the phone with my sister and I fucking screeched because I expected it to happen just not at that moment.

... It was definitely an experience.

[be-queer-do-arson]

In trk Neil literally slept with Andrew's armbands under his pillow and still didn't question his feelings for him. He could've put the armbands in his duffle, he could've put them in Andrew's room, he could've stuck them in a drawer in his dresser but no. He chose to sleep with them under his pillow and still thought that shit was platonic.

[kayascodelorio]

kayascodelorio's 3.5k celebration 💌 for @kadygrants

[thisuserdead]

Thinking about how Neil and Andrew both helped each other to build a possible future for themselves both as individuals and as a couple.

They just came into each other's lives and completely upended them by offering honesty and trust.

Andrew offered Neil stability, protection, a home ("you gave me a key and called it home"), the prospect of not having to run anymore, of actually achieving his dreams and not ending up dead in a ditch at 18. He helped Neil build a new identity from the ground up that was just and truly Neil. (Not to discredit the part that the other foxes played in the last part!!)

In return Neil gave Andrew something to live for in the form of fixing his relationship with his cousin and brother so that he wouldn't end up alone after graduation. He made Andrew care about exy enough to make it into a career (even if it's just a little bit). He gave Andrew understanding when everyone else brushed him off and was prepared to go against everything that he's ever been taught about getting close to people, about saying the truth, about telling people who he is and just trusting people.

Andrew also gave his trust to Neil every time he did what Neil asked him to, every time he offered Neil a hard truth. Trusting that Neil wouldn't use it against him, wouldn't tell him it was all a misunderstanding. My boy put his stone cold lump of a heart in Neil's hands and trusted Neil not to squeeze.

Don't get me wrong, they're not beating the codependency allegations until they've lived apart. After Andrew's graduation. It's difficult, it's hell. But if Nora's ec says they make it, then I have faith that by the time they're living together again, their nothing will have turned into something else just as precious if not more.

[thespineoftherighteous]

"all that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?" is such a you-little-shit thing to say but he says it so tenderly and in such an emotionally charged scene that it has me falling to my knees head in hands every time.

[emry-stars-art]

for the mistletoe time asks thigy

mayhaps neil and matt in number 2? their friendship means so much to me

They are SO SPECIAL TO ME AS WELL (got a couple requests for this one so I switched up the style. Probably will do another version of Matt and Neil forehead kiss 🥰)

Requests are open until the end of Dec ‘23 💕

[crunchy-rocc]

my cat. neil josten.

[onlinecasualty]

do they? not have? water bottles? no this is important. how do these kids consume water on the daily? they are d1 athletes i refuse to think they all just patiently wait in line to use a fountain during practices and games. and i dont even want to think about how little water neil consumes on the run if he doesnt have a water bottle

[aftgficrec]

Anonymous said: Hi! Thank you so much for your work. I'm looking for long finished fics, it can be canon or not AND I'm also looking for fics focused on Kevin and Neil friendship

From Ravens angst to food wars there’s a lot of Kevin and Neil here for you to enjoy. Readers, find the long complete fics portion of this ask here. -A

previous recs

Kevin & Neil here

Kevin & Neil friendship here

BFFs Neil & Kevin, physically affectionate here

Neil & Kevin as bffs/brothers + Kev/Neil here 

‘To All my friends’ here

‘on thin ice’ here

‘Exit Wound’ here 

‘Necessary Losses,’ ‘Remember! Proplifting is Shoplifting!,’ and ‘CVS’ (completed) here

‘don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious’ here

‘I have a Prom-Posal’ here (updated)

‘The Manga is Way Better (Save me from the Fangirls)’ here

‘Homecoming King’ here 

‘The One Where Everyone Finds Out’ here

‘How to outrun the mafia, an essay by Neil Josten’ here

‘my friends and I, we got a lot of problems’ and ‘please, carry me, carry me, carry me home’ here

‘I can see the stars though the tears in my skin’ here

‘Odd Eye’ here

‘Carrots’ here

‘You Can't Take the Sky from Me’ here 

‘Something Crazy About It’ and ‘The one where Andriel get Cats’ here

‘Dear Advice Guy,’ ‘a little bit special,’ and ‘quicksand’ here

‘Slow Parade’ and ‘Bad Habits’ here

‘Technique is Important’ here

‘venus as a boy’ here (completed)

‘Light a Match’ and ‘stupid, normal teenagers’ here

‘"There's blood on my/your hands."’ here

‘Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man’ here

‘Two worlds collide’ and ‘Fear & Loathing’ here

‘Father’s Day, ‘08’ here

‘Point Nemo’ here

‘Extra thermador on the side’ ch 14 & 15 here

‘Gimme a Kiss and I'll Kiss You Right Back’ here

‘North Star’ and ‘it's my first and perhaps last time (aka the Exy World Cup Fic)’ here

‘my one, my dear’ here

‘I’m too young to feel numb…’ here

‘The Sickness Was Forever,’ ‘Whatever it takes,’ and ‘It's Just You and Me, Just Us, and Y(our) Friend Kevin’ here 

‘Different Roads’ and ‘I Was Ruined From The Start’ here

‘Spun Sugar Truths’ here

‘But man, I can hate you sometimes’ here

‘Remember Me, Love, When I'm Reborn…’ and ‘The Suit Universe’ series (updated) here

‘Through our memories, we live’ here (completed)

‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ here (completed)

‘A Falling Star’ series here

you may also like

andreil & Kevin here

more kevineil here

Andrew & Kevin here

to whom it may aggravate by knoxout [Rated G, 1931 Words, Complete, 2022]

to: njosten@denverbulldogs.com from: kevinday@seattlestingrays.com ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards, Kevin Day

Strike That (from the record) by Mercey [Rated M, 1393 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin and Neil decide to read fanfiction about themselves on their podcast. Shenanigans ensue.

Medicated rabbits don't run as fast by AllTheSpadesAndAces [Not Rated, 8690 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2023]

Neil Josten has his mother to thank for an addiction to painkillers, but he won't speak (that) ill of the dead. He's stayed on the run after her death. He never hits the same AA or NA meeting more than once. Usually only going once in every city he passes though. Maybe he should have remembered not to stray too close to Raven territory. After all, he knows what that place can drive people to do. OR Neil meets Kevin at an AA meeting.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism

Your eyes can’t fool me by maia_m03 [Rate G, 3533 Words, Complete, 2022]

There’s something familiar about this kid and Kevin can’t quite place it. Until he does. (A ‘Kevin recognises Neil at Millport’ AU)

neil josten vs vegetables (aka kevin) by orangejuice9 [Rated T, 3138 Words, Complete, 2023]

Three times Kevin tries to put vegetables in Neil's food, and one time Neil gets his revenge.

this is [home], this is hell by straycrow [Rated M, 1402 Words, Complete, 2022]

The day Kevin left the Nest and Neil behind.

tw: violence, tw: abuse

What the fuck did I do in the end? (Just to not be yours) by allfortheBoyds [Rated M, 2305 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2023]

Kevin goes back to the nest so that Neil can run

no rest for the mischievous by tropicalblend [Rated G, 1681 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin forgets an essential piece of Neil's food order so Neil must enact revenge, he must.

frying pans by aknosde [Rated G, 1078 Words, Complete, 2023]

When Kevin trudges down the stairs and into the kitchen Saturday morning it's to the smell of frying sausage and a headache the likes of which he hasn’t seen in years. The fact that the former makes him want to throw up considerably more than the latter lets him know what kind of day it’s going to be. (Or: Neil cooks Kevin breakfast)

tw: implied disordered eating

i want to hold your hand by gay_irl [Rated T, 3481 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil starts to notice that Andrew occasionally exchanges casual touches with Kevin. He feels something about it but he's not sure what. He talks to Andrew and starts to realize the value of non-sexual intimacy. He decides to try it out.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

why am I like this? by chronically_peach [Rated G, 1744 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin doesn’t believe in loneliness. He doesn’t believe in friendship or the need for people around. He spent his entire life never being alone but never having a friend. Loneliness didn’t affect Kevin. Or so he thought. One night Kevin breaks down during late night practice while alone at the court. When he doesn’t come home Andrew and Neil go looking for him

In the Blooms by KaijuusAndKryptids [Rated G, 1273 Words, Complete, Aftg Spring Exchange 2022, Locked]

Kevin works on sobriety, and needs something to fill the time to distract him from needing a drink. He falls into gardening incidentally, but more and more often he finds that he wants to garden for gardening's sake and not to complete another objective.

Proof of Life by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 2132 Words, Complete, 2022]

Realistically, Kevin knows he is safe now. No one is after him anymore. No one is plotting to drag him down into the hole he's clawed out of. He has people who will fight to keep it this way.

Kevin? Aaron? Together? My life can't get any worse than this by Artificiosus [Rated T, 2129 Words, Complete, 2022]

He takes a deep breath in. "Where?" "Where what- oh," Kevin replies. "Where?" Neil repeats, his heart rate is speeding up, he feels frozen to the spot. Dread? Fear? Whatever it is, it's locked him down. Kevin gulps.  ~~~~~ Kevin tells Neil that he and Aaron slept together.

Hey Look Neil, You Made It! by alexis_needs_sleep [Not Rated, 2224 Words, Complete, 2022]

7 years after Kevin agreed to teach Neil how to play Exy, Kevin shows up on Neil's doorstep with a long overdue gift.

Sticking with our Losers by Webaqoof [Rated T, 1647 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Kevin dragged his ass from the front porch steps where he was laying down, ready to enter the house. He furrowed his eyebrows to find it still closed, because he clearly heard Neil ringing the doorbell. “Why is the door not open?” Neil brought his hand to his chin in a thinking posture. Which was funny because he never really thought anything. “I think it’s because one of the people in the house doesn’t like me much.”

Could Have Been Me by thornilee013 [Rated T, 1843 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2024]

Kevin finally voices a question that's been bothering him.

i should hate you, i feel stupid. by hynjinnnniee [Rated T, 3391 Words, Complete, 2024]

kevin experiences some complicated feelings after riko dies, and the monsters help him through it.

Naked-Fruit Chiffon Cake, one box by riri_a [Rated T, 2579 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin Day was having a very boring morning. Some might say his life was boring in general. Everything changes when a homeless guy with blue eyes decides to rob his workplace. Kevin thinks he's incompetent.

Tell Me the Truth by birthdaycandles774 [Rated T, 1948 Words, Complete, 2023]

The Foxes were staying at the winter banquet for both days, how boring. Andrew had gone to get ice for his drunk brother and cousin when he noticed two Ravens. So far from their nest, strange. He never expected to make a deal with the unannounced member of the 'Perfect Court' who only wanted him to protect Kevin Day. He definitely didn't expect to want the mysterious Raven to stay. The one where Neil was caught by the Moriyamas and is the one to get Kevin out of the Nest.

Kevin Day is keeping Celeste series by Twolipsliterature [Rated G/T, Collection, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2023]

Part 1: What never belonged to angels, Had never belonged to men [T, 1837 Words, Complete] Neil, Andrew, and Kevin are in Columbia for the summer following Riko's death. Needless to say, Kevin is not handling it well. When a breakup leads to a breakdown, Neil and Andrew must learn what it is to be a friend and how to help peice someone back together instead of being the one to break them apart

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism

Part 2: If I let you perceive me, do you promise to love me? [T, 11037 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2023] The last thing Kevin expected to do after a messy breakup was immediately fall for someone. Yet, here he is, smitten and cursing himself for it. With more baggage and trauma than he can hide under his bed, Kevin is hesitant to open up to someone. How can anyone get to know him when he barely knows himself? Lucky for him, Celeste is very good at piecing things together. OR: Despite his best efforts, Kevin falls in love.

Part 3: A Lesson In Loving You, A Lesson In Being Loved [G, 4966 Words, Complete]

After months of sneaking around, Neil decides its high time Kevin introduce the foxes to his not-so-secret girlfriend. When it finally happens, he can't shake the feeling that there's something more to her that Kevin is missing...

A Collection of my varying AFTG short stories… by BasiliskCrane [Rated M, Collection, Updated July 2021]

Chapter 6: "your an idiot... " (G, 438 Words)

You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by vinesse [Collection, Rated T, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 31: Scared, Me? (466 Words)

A Series of H/C One-Shots For All For The Game by carefulren [Rated T, Collection, Updated 2018]

Chapter 1: Neil Downplays How Sick He's Feeling, and the Foxes Step In Chapter 4: sick and problematic kevin trying to keep the team away from him, but the team ignores him

Art

kevneil arguing dynamic comic by @wuzeio

quality bonding time animation by @broresteia

weekly call comic by @bleepbloops

tramp stamps instead of face tattoos art by @koihoi

AU where Kevin meets Neil on the run art by @lucky-slice