#ennui engine

[confession-session]

TF2 x Inside Out 2

So I just saw Inside Out 2 AND ALMOST FUCKING CRIED that movie hit me THAT hard

so yall know of course my first thought was to combine it with my longstanding hyperfixation

Joy - Demo

Sadness - Pyro

Anger - Soldier

Fear - Medic

Disgust - Sniper

Anxiety - Engie

Envy - Scout

Ennui - Spy (french nonchalance for the win)

Embarrassment - Heavy

may change!! but these are my hcs for now

i might make fanart... if i can get my motivation to cooperate pls

[cellularennui]

Sisko the Engineer

DS9 s05e19 - Ties of Blood and Water (dir. Avery Brooks)

throwback accessory from s01e18 - Dramatis Personae

[ikkaku-of-heart]

Looking at this image, you had better believe that Ikkaku's childhood dog Neptune had his own little wagon he used to cart firewood, lobster traps, and groceries to the lighthouse. She probably even designed and built it for him too and rewarded him with many treats for being such a good helper.

[hxltic]

Hello! I have a request!

Could you do something where Kenma isn't really giving the female reader any attention because he's busy streaming so the reader sneaks under his desk where the viewer's can't see her and she pleasures him until he eventually cums down her throat?

:) I un-ironically love writing bjs

The shared house was silent anytime after 5 o’clock. Kuroo had just left— his afternoon business management classes calling him in, and Bokuto’s practice overcrowded his schedule to the point where he went twice a day with some gym sessions in between. That leaves you alone with Kenma in your 4 bedroom home off campus that was supposedly his father’s apology gift.

The bills are mainly kept satisfied with Kenma’s profit as his streaming allows you all to live as you do. Of course, there was a sense of independency by your own jobs regardless. There has probably been twice where everyone was in the living room at once, but it’s like there’s a tacit agreement each of you have your own goals.

You can’t be mad at the man for being busy when his job supports his friends and himself.

Kenma has been your friend, now boyfriend, for the longest out of all of them, next in line being Kuroo. Kenma took computer engineering and coding related classes, despite having already perfected building PC’s just out of pure experience. The work is hard. You’ve seen it.

You’ve witnessed him stress first hand about a single error in a strenuous, long line of codes—and you ask him why he doesn’t stop doing it if it bothers him to the extent it does. His determination has grown for activities he enjoys over the years; 12 year old him would have quit.

Kenma’s way to deal with stress is isolation. The entire day he’s been crammed in his room, and with being the only other person in the house majority of the time, you bring it upon yourself to feed him. He gets focused and forgets to eat.

The reminder has you clicking your Ipad off from whatever distraction show you had playing. It was so boring most of the days, Netflix couldn’t even fulfill you. You toss the covers off yourself, then bounce downstairs into the kitchen.

It was so quiet that your feet patting against the floor filled the air. To cure the ennui you felt, you’d take the time to have fun with this culinary experience.

By the time there was fluffy white flour messily coating the kitchen and dishes stacked like game cards in the sink, your dish was plated for two. Maybe you’d keep him some company?

Careful not to fall up the stairs, you prod at his door in attempt to knock with one hand. Somehow you turn the knob successfully.

The fan cuts through the air, every click of Kenma’s pen accompanied with a glance to the paper beside him. He won’t even look up at the waitress bearing goods.

“Hi Ken,” you grab his attention but his slim eyes only dart up at the smell of cuisine. “Have you eaten?”

You know the answer. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail, so when he shakes his head the usual strands that follow aren’t there. You place the plate on his desk, next to the two cans of some energy drink and a diet Dr. Pepper.

“Thank you,” he speaks softly. There was a hint of edge to the sound, like he hadn’t used his voice all day.

“Mhmm.”

You turn on your heels to his bed, then sit criss cross as it squeaks and dips. “Do you mind if I just stay in here? It gets lonely in the house.”

To be honest, you forget he’s there sometimes.

“I’m kinda busy,” he replies. He loves you, and your presence, but he just knows he won’t be able to focus. “I’ll be done soon.”

The pout you flaunt deepens, “You’ve been stuck in here for almost a week now! Come out; I miss you Ken.”

He refrains himself from turning to look at you because he knows when he weighs his options, you’ll always come out on top. The chances of you getting picked multiply with your pout.

“Soon, I just need to finish this.”

“Please?”

He doesn’t even have a valid response for that, so he forces the spoon into his mouth. You’re actually a great cook, but since you all eat so much takeout, nobody’s at the dinner table at the same time to enjoy it.

You huff and negotiate to just sit in silence, as long as you’re in his presence. As long as you know he’s there.

This only lasts about fifteen minutes before you’re whining for him again. You completely understand the heavy load of schoolwork, and that it has to get done, but he genuinely has been at it for so long it cannot be healthy.

“I’m done,” he announces coincidentally, his soft fingers coming up to brush a tendril of hair back as he gathers his things on the desk into a neat pile.

Your head perks up like a puppy at attention. He arises from his chair after closing the laptop, pulling his rubber band from the hair connected at his nape as he steps towards you laying on his bed. You giggle in expectancy when he smiles gingerly at you, reaches his arms forward around your feet to plant his hands on the duvet, then crawls up your body. The hair tie wraps around his wrist to join all the other colorful bracelets and bands.

He makes you swoon by just giving you attention.

His hands grew into proportion as he aged, so now they were relatively large. Large enough to connect at your hips as he kisses his way up.

Stomach, chest, then an abundance on your chin and around your face, just for his thumb and index finger to hold your cheeks in position for his softer, slower kiss right on your lips.

You wrap your arms around him like he’d just disintegrate any second. You can feel his body slump, leaving you with most of his weight to carry and his head withdrawing from the kiss to between your breasts. With one hand massaging the round muscle, Kenma was in his element.

Black with barely-there blonde crowds your vision. His soft skin felt warm as you two lay intertwined in the still house, and if you were to fall asleep it would greatly help that Kenma never keeps the big light on. He moans in satisfactory below you.

You lift your hand to rest over his face, the bigger part of your thumb gliding gently over his cheek.

“I love you,” he mutters.

“I love you too Ken.”

After a while of Kenma following your heartbeat and breathing, you would’ve guessed he was asleep. He clarifies he isn’t when he groans lowly.

“I have to get up.”

The words rest tensely in the air, and maybe if you pretend you didn’t hear him, he’ll lay there and forget about it.

He attempts to raise himself from you, politely grabbing your hand and locking your fingers when he comes to a hover above. His pink lips come to the corner of yours as you blink open your eyes.

Truthfully, he wants nothing more than to be with you, here, resting—but he hasn’t streamed in a solid week because of school. You were completely his priority though, so he would make sure to give you equal attention as his stream.

He finds the little willpower to come off you and the bed. He was genuinely hoping you’d stay there and sleep peacefully, that way he’ll come back to join you and it will feel like he never left.

He flips a blanket over your body before he strolls to his setup usually beaming with bright lights. He takes a seat, making sure to turn the brightness down of everything, refraining from playing music, and ultimately deciding not to turn on any light not connected to his PC anyway.

As much as you hate that he’s not cuddled up next to you right now, you love the fact that he’s a steamer overall because he looks so damn hot doing it. Especially the way his muscles on his forearm flex as he quickly types or plays. His hair that’s usually up is down, because he isn’t wearing his mic.

Or like the way every now and then he’ll pop a piece of gum in his mouth and manspread in his gaming chair to shoot a quick message or check his feed. Or like the way he’s so attent, making call-outs, or whenever he gets angry his brows furrow the slightest bit and his face displays whatever he’s actually thinking. You find it hilarious when his eyes roll.

At some point, he hears you come up behind him into view, and his head relaxes into your two hands sliding up his neck to his jaw. You crouch into the screen and the chat immediately multiples. It’s too quick to read them all. Knowing his viewers, Kenma takes the responsibility of closing it with the click of a button, so fast that it seems he never even did it.

“Cracked, 130,” he calls.

You stood there for a moment to watch him play. He and his team beat the level, game, you don’t know, but he releases his focus from the screen and mindlessly cracks his knuckles.

A donation comes in that’s read aloud. Kenma tenses, but you’re excited to hear it.

“jump1nnit donates $70. ‘girl to girl, is it big?’”

Kenma’s head drops back in your hands, eyes closing in annoyance.

“Jesus Christ,” he mumbles. Where were his mods?

All you were thinking about was how much Kenma was actually earning. 70 dollars in a single donation? How many of these does he get a day? How much more do people pay that’s over 70 when you aren’t here?

You shake these questions away. You knew he was famous. This was not new information; his fans see you sometimes in the background, and they adore you. It’s why your instagram has so many followers and people saying outrageous things in your comments. Ken begs you not to check them.

You find it amusing honestly. God knows what he’s being sent despite his DM’s or what they’re saying in his chats. You know there’s girls all over the world after him, but he doesn’t entertain them, so you don’t either. You trust him completely.

Brought back to reality, you look down at Kenma.

He starts, “Are you-“

To rile up the scene, you nod at the monitor with a mischievous smirk on your face. You bend and kiss his forehead.

“Can I sit right here?” You ask quickly, already pulling up his desk stool because he has no reason to say no. He takes your momentary absence to mute the computer.

“Yeah. yeah, Definitely.”

The blonde’s tone is a little off, but you chalk it up to what just happened. He was just surprised you’d actually respond. He ignores them so he doesn’t get demonetized.

So you sit next to him on your phone playing games, or watching him, or laying on his shoulder. It made it a little difficult for him to play with the last one, but he doesn’t mind. He places a kiss to your forehead, matching earlier actions, and the way you two looked at each other after will definitely reel in some fan edits.

You return to gaming on your phone until you drop it. It tumbles down and under the PC, into the jungle of wires below.

At least with everything included in the setup, that’s what you expect to see, but they’re all neatly accounted for. The seat moves back against the carpet to accommodate for your body, the space you’ve created to retrieve the device. The problem is, you and Kenma occupy this space. You won’t fit.

Kenma heard your phone drop, so he had an idea why you’re down there. He even chuckled a little. Once you pick up the phone, you use his thigh as leverage to turn yourself around, causing him to flinch, and immediately an idea pops into your head.

You could stay down here.

You press the heart of your palm into him once more, the same reaction procreating ideas like a lightbulb.

His voice from above makes another callout.

The lightness of your fingertips glide across his thigh and up to his waist, slipping past the barrier of the thin shirt he’s wearing. Kenma is not ticklish, but his abdomen turns concave to your touch.

By now he has concluded what is happening, or going to happen, and just the thought has him hardening in front of you. Of course it’s something he’s thought about. He hasn’t asked because it feels unnatural—like you would only do it because he suggested it.

His poker face remains stone cold, but the rest gives him away. With every touch you only got closer. You trail your whole hand up the shirt, running this one along the dips of his pale skin, while the other goes back and forth along his thigh. Inwards, then back out. Your phone was long forgotten.

You run the length of your fingers over his center sneakily before meeting both hands in the middle and fiddling with his waistband. He shivers, but continues to play.

He hadn’t been purposely edging himself, and he definitely knows that you would help him whenever he asked, but with all the schoolwork piled on top of him, it never crossed his mind. It was now though, and sensitivity was at its highest.

“No, why would you do that; that’s stupid,” Kenma replies to what you assume is a donation. The technological voice isn’t there anymore for you to hear.

The tips of your nails dive past every ounce of clothing settled at his hips.

He shifts in his seat, whether to allow you to pull the band down just enough or to calm his nerves, you don’t know, but the opportunity was right in front of your face. Literally.

You don’t even do anything but hold his length before you start the up and down motions. It’s enough to turn him on more, having him grow in your hand. You can’t imagine the faces he’s making while his viewers’ minds were already polluted.

“Keep going, push,” he exclaims. Voice still soft, but with some sense of urgency.

He was not speaking to you, but you listen anyway, and do as he says. Maybe you could play a game: see how long it takes before he realizes you’re taking orders.

With this, you stroke him a little faster, then run your fleshy thumb over his tip. It began dripping, a single bud threatening to fall. After swiping it away, you disperse what little you could, then wrap your plush lips around his head.

He wasn’t expecting it right after your slow pace.

“Ugh, fuck- third party.”

The groan he emitted was covered quickly by a call, as if that’s what “frustrated” him.

You pop off as quickly as you came, spread your saliva, and now slide your enclosed hand down his cock steadily. Silky smooth, it took no energy to glide along him. Your unoccupied hand squeezes his thigh through the cotton.

“Down, he’s under and one shot.”

You jerk him off as his breathing barely picks up, occasionally coming down to wet him some more, but you see a significant difference when your hand consistently twists just the tip. You’d swirl your tongue around the reddening, most sensitive part of him before dropping even farther to take his balls in your mouth.

You tug and pull harmlessly.

“Hmm...”

Despite what was going on, the streamer was clever with how he hid it.

He asks, “Hey, what do y’all want to hear?”

The viewers were astonished they were being asked; Kenma has previously told them he likes his music and would play whatever he felt like hearing. He did a stream for song recommendations and half of it was him hating on their music and the other half was his viewers attempting to find songs he would like.

Regardless, he unmuted the sound on his computer and turned on the playlist, only slightly louder than usual.

You took this opportunity to actually wrap your lips around his cock, not having to worry about the sounds. You start on the slower side but it didn’t take long to get comfortable. Whatever you couldn’t fit, you jerked off.

His abdomen showcased whatever his face wouldn’t, stuttering every now and then with his hips correcting their position. You brought the wet hand to his balls once more, and attempted to fit all of him down your throat. There was a deep sigh above you.

You closed your eyes and went again, trying to go deeper. You didn’t gag, but your throat made sounds that was enough implication of what was going on. That’s okay though. Some random band one of his mods recommended was playing.

Once more, you tried to go deeper, actually sputtering this time, but once you got past the uncomfortableness of it all, you could go the same depth over and over. You did, breathing through your nose. He could hear your throat, but chat couldn’t. If they could, they would be saying something.

“Oh shit, oh shit, he’s on me,” he huffs, “I’m gonna twist around to cover.”

You remove yourself, partially to breathe, and take two hands to twist on top of each other in opposite directions. His belly button caves in with some more muscles, pure evidence of his pleasure.

This was the second he knew what you were doing. What game you were playing.

If you wanted to play, he could too.

“Where is she?” he reads chat calmly. “I think she’s downstairs eating.”

Was it calm enough—you’re not sure, because he was fidgeting excessively in the leaning chair.

The double entendre has you giggling silently. With a deep breath, you’re back down on him again. It’s not long until you sputter.

“Do you want me to tell her to come back up?” You hear him spit out quickly.

You do as he says, but not without the price of your fingers doubling speed at his head.

“Yeah, I’ll tell her. Hold on.”

With quickness, he mutes and turns his camera off.

He was sweating and physically overwhelmed. Pushing back on his heels, his chair rolls from under the table with you following, finally in his sight. He could already imagine how you looked.

Red lips. Glowing face. Glossy eyes, smiling and happy. You were ethereal. Your hands are working him, but now with his cock down your throat too? Oh my god.

He held a soft touch at your cheek and caressed your face with his thumb. Picking up speed, you smile.

The other hand of his would do the same, brushing a loose stand of hair behind your ear. Faster.

“Just like that,” he breathes.

“Mhmm?” you deepthroat him.

His head drops back involuntarily. His mouth does the same. The heavy breaths that he was holding from the stream let loose.

One last look at your flushed features and-

He groans heavily, adam’s apple bobbing and cock tightening. Skin usually pale but red with desire, he stills.

You close your eyes. It was so fulfilling with your throat stretched and his hands on either side of your plush face.

Warmth seeps past your tongue and down the cavern. It causes you to choke but Kenma definitely doesn’t mind. His sounds flow into your ears, plus some faint praise as he soon begins to release from his high.

You couldn’t taste anything as you slowly raise yourself from him, leaving his cock glistening with saliva and pink, but the taste just barely started to form once it caught your tongue on the way down. You swallow anyway—it wasn’t bad.

You use the back of your hand to wipe your eyes and breathe freely. You lay your cheek on the driest part of his pants, even though you’ll have to get up. You just aren’t ready to see the red wilts on your knees.

“You are amazing,” Kenma catches his breath. He looks back down with his eyes glossed over and tired, but he still runs his finger over your wet lip. You softly kiss it.

. .

“Are you getting back on?” You climb into his fluffy bed, throwing the covers back.

Kenma shakes his head and follows after you in a fresh new set. He grabs the covers and returns them over you both, pushing his hair back and holding you close.

©️ hxltic

[juicydangler]

for your halloween playlist consideration:

The Man with X-Ray Eyes by Bauhaus, inspired by the 1963 science fiction horror film X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes

I Was a Teenage Werewolf by The Cramps, inspired by the 1957 science fiction horror film of the same name

Lotion by the Greenskeepers, inspired by the 1991 psychological horror film The Silence of the Lambs

How Do by Sneaker Pimps, inspired by the 1973 folk horror film The Wicker Man

Nosferatu by Blue Öyster Cult, inspired by the 1922 silent horror film of the same name

Frankenstein by Rock Bottom, inspired by the 1931 horror film of the same name

Frankenstein Rock by Eddie Thomas, about taking a date to see horror movies

Nasty by The Damned, about horror movies on VHS

Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus, about legendary actor Bela Lugosi not being alive anymore

Boris the Spider by The Who, about a spider called Boris

October Funeral by The Cemetery Boys, about a funeral in October

Cemetery Gates by Pantera, about the struggle to let go when someone you love dies

Cemetery Girl by ICP, about the struggle to let go when someone you love dies

Dig Up Her Bones by the Misfits, about the struggle to let go when someone you love dies

L.I.C.H. by Ginny Di, about a lady who doesn't want to die

Party In the Graveyard by Ghost Town, about knowing you will die and having a silly little time with it

thegraveneverfeltsonice by aWannabe, about knowing you will die and lowkey looking forward to it

Spirit Got Lost by Mental As Anything, about being dead and ambivalent about it

Zombie Crew by Send More Paramedics, about being a punk rock zombie

Nobody Likes You (When You're Dead) by Zombina and the Skeletones, about the social challenges faced by a young zombie

Re: Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton, about the social challenges faced by a white collar zombie

Mad Professor by ICP, about making friends

Ur-Ur-Enkel von Frankenstein by Frank Zander, about making friends (in German)

Hex So Heavy by Bambie Thug, about revenge, and how two enemies used to be friends

Nightmare by Brainbug, spooky techno instrumental

The Dead Eyes Opened (1994 remix) by Severed Heads, inspired by reporting around the real life 1924 murder of Emily Kaye

A Forest by The Cure, about a spooky forest

The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature, about a spooky carnival

Scaretale by Nightwish, about a spooky fairy tale carnival

Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, about the POV of the monster under the bed

Boogie Woogie Wu by ICP, about the POV of the boogie man

Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart, not about vampires (unless sound engineers count) but really kinda sounds like it is

I.C.U. by Caligula, about vampires

Night of the Vampire by Roky Erickson and The Aliens, about vampires

Transylvanian Concubine by Rasputina, about vampires

Vampires In Love by Marvelous 3, about vampires (in love)

Danse Vampyr by Inkubus Sukkubus, about vampires (horny)

We Suck Young Blood by Radiohead, about vampires but only as a metaphor

Teeth by Lady Gaga, about sex but sounds like it could be about vampires or maybe werewolves

Bare Your Teeth by Ashbury Heights, about going feral werewolf style

The Ones by Aesthetic Perfection, about nightmare creatures stealing teeth

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by the Damned, inspired by the 1886 Gothic novella The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Nevermore by The Cemetery Boys, about the life and works of Edgar Allan Poe

Graveyard Picnic by Voltaire, about the life and works of Edgar Allan Poe

Mr Raven by MC Lars, based on the poem The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

Legs and Tarpaulin by Cinema Strange, inspired by the story King Pest by Edgar Allan Poe

Pet Sematary by Ramones, written during a visit to the home of Stephen King and inspired by his 1983 horror novel of the same name

Cemetery by Silverchair, about ennui

Living Dead by Marina and the Diamonds, about ennui

Living Dead by Discordia, about being a disenfranchised young person (I think)

Black No. 1 by Type O Negative, about a goth gf

Release the Bats by The Birthday Party, about a goth gf

Tombstone by Peaches, probably about sex somehow lbr it's Peaches, but sounds like it could be about a goth gf

Every Day Is Halloween by Ministry, about being a goth

I Can Tell You Shop At Hot(t) Topic by The Gothsicles, about seeing a goth

You've Been GOTH BLOCKED by Stevie Ryan, about seeing too many goths

Mephiskapheles by Mephiskapheles, about what if Satan played ska

Des Satans liebster Klingelton by Soko Friedhof, about what if Satan sold ringtones (in German)

Janet's Potato Salad by Cupcake Television, about what if Satanists held a potluck

Satan by Orbital and Kirk Hammett, not about anything just a guy yelling Satan a lot (it's a sample of Gibby Haynes of Butthole Surfers from the song Sweat Loaf but let's not get bogged down in details here)

Creep in the Cellar by Butthole Surfers, about a weird scary guy

Abwärts-Nick Nack Man Now by Frank Zander, about being a weird scary guy (in German)

Gravedigger by MXMS, about being a weird scary girl

Innsmouth by Aural Vampire, about being a weird scary girl (in Japanese)

When You're Evil by Voltaire, about being an evil guy and having a silly little time with it

Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton, about being an evil guy and having an unrequited crush

Frankenstein Rock by Peter Thomas (no relation), about a scary guy called Frankenstein and the creepy parties he throws (in German)

HAUNT ME by Johnny Goth, about hoping to be haunted, sexually

Ghost of a Texas Ladies' Man by Concrete Blonde, about being haunted, sexually

Ghost Story by Charming Disaster, about being haunted, sexually

One Second Ghost by The Gothsicles, about retro video gaming

Flying Saucer Boogie by Eddie Cletro, about UFO sightings

Unmarked Helicopters by Soul Coughing (from The X-Files S04E18), about UFO conspiracies

Can't Get Abducted E.T. Don't Dig Me Blues by Bruce Brown, about getting swerved by aliens

Bugs by Pearl Jam, about being overwhelmed by bugs

March of the Sinister Ducks by The Sinister Ducks, about how ducks are sinister

the entire 1998 album Hellbilly Deluxe: 13 Tales of Cadaverous Cavorting Inside the Spookshow International by Rob Zombie

literally anything other than Zombie by the Cranberries

[skitchdoods]

Bellerose de Beauchene — Her Eternal Radiance

“...for it was true that she had beauty so disarming and none like any other, a mind as sharp as a blade made by Hephaestus, and a heart as gracious as a spring-kissed flower blooming under the sun’s gentle morning rays, yet the Beast could not stop himself from falling for her gentle wisdom, more for her stubborn wit, and most for her unbridled, nearly reckless courage...”

Born to a Lousanian Artist, Maurice De Beauchene, and a textile merchant from the Agarabhan city-state of Shirabad, Saundary Vishyan, Bellerose de Beauchene had always proven to be a brilliant mind with an innate understanding of engineering and machinery. She was the first female apprentice allowed entrance in the prestigious Lousanian Guild of Automatonry and Enlightened Pursuits, though she was never allowed to become an official Matoneer because of her sex.

She was known for many of her inventions, most importantly harnessing Wild Sprite (boundless and chaotic magic) into Spark, revolutionizing energy away from coal and steam, in 1798. However, what many still know her for and what many would most associate her for is her namesake—Beauty.

From her mysterious but unsurprising rise as Queen of Rosedor—the largest, richest, and most ancient of the Gaulian kingdoms and the Mecca of Daphinian Civilization, Philosophy, Invention, and Progress—to her final days, no historical recounting would dare remiss mentioning her alarming beauty, one that did not fade until the end.

Of the three historically preserved portraits available, not one was said to truly capture her beguiling visage. However, one cherished story among Rosedoreans tells of the portrait hanging in the Royal Summer Palace of Rosecoeur, where many would say that the beloved queen looked as though she was about to sneeze. It is said that Belle was notoriously bashful with regards to her looks and being painted, but that on the days that she had to sit, venerable King Adam II, would make her laugh, much to the painter’s chagrin.

Historical accounts suggest that the couple had a loving union, marked by many hushed conversations and laughter between them in any event they were invited to. Staff also remarked the couple’s sharp wit and entertaining debates at dinners, King Adam being a renowned architect himself who had studied in Richepierre, the capital of his kingdom under a common name. They were near inseparable, even in death, as Belle died two months after her husband, whom she would affectionately call “Ma Bête.”

Though there is no dearth of their relationship as leaders, in truth, much of the couple’s history is unclear with most of their supposed courtship occurring during the Great Forgetting, where the Kingdom had supposedly been enveloped in dangerous fog and briar, ceasing possible interactions with its neighboring rivals and all but deserting its role as the central trade route between East and West. The phenomenon continues to be shrouded in mystery as not even documents from other kingdoms make mention of the fabled occurrence—and more shockingly—the kingdom itself between the years 1792-1798…except for the correspondence of letters between the King and Queen themselves and their journals.

But many Rosedoreans have their own generational tale of how the Lousanian Matoneer met the Rosedorean King in the form of a Great Beast, of how their love had broken a Great Curse of disrememberance and volatile ennui. Despite the lack of historical evidence, many honor such heritage by holding balls on the Royal Couple’s anniversary and dancing Master Concerto Monsieur Guillee de Forte’s composition known as ‘La Valse de La Belle et La Bête,’ supposedly written to inaugurate the rebuilding of the Rosecoeur’s legendary ballroom during their courtship.

Many theorized that Belle would have chosen a very specific fabric, fabled to have been solely produced by her mother’s company before it burned down in 1791—colloquially named, the Solaris Weave—as the Royal seamstress, Madame Fifi De Garderobe-Forte makes mentions in her later years of making such a dress with many embellishments more accustomed to Shibarad for the exact occasion.

To this day, only a swath of the fabric exist, displayed in the Richepierre museum. At 3PM, the seemingly ordinary piece of gold fabric is placed under the sun, showing its hardly understood property to reflect fractals of light despite not being speckled or beaded. Though many to this day try to replicate the exact fabric, the national conservatory has yet to allow proper studies of the material, fearing losing it and the very heritage of Rosedor.

More Under the Cut

This piece means a lot to me being nine years in the making to the date. It may seem trivial, but I've never invested on one singular idea for as long as I had this one dress. It's one of the main reasons I've taken breaks from art in a deeply personal sense, because I would start it and finish something and hate it after two days and redo it, only to not finish anything. It was a bad cycle to say the least.

Within those years, I have grown so much in terms of knowledge and respect for fashion as a whole art form, most especially in costume design more than just historical recreation and research. At some point, I just grew tired of slapping on a robe du cour and calling it a day. I love BTAB and I love Belle and the more I felt like, simply putting on a historically accurate garment with some fantastical embellishments was half the work. So, part of this personal journey had been coming to terms of what I wanted to do.

I'd like to think that the approach I've developed for these Princess Gowns moving forward is that I want to design a dress that fits for the character at that moment in their story—who they are, what it means to be wearing that dress, and the whole context of their journey and the world they live in. It was understanding what Belle has gone through in the movie in my head, parading as producer, writer, director, AND costume designer to a fictional film stuck in my head—inspired by the greats like Sandy Powell, Terry Dresbach, and Anthony Powell and Rosemary Burrows.

It includes having an understanding of her character, of how she relates to others, of world building, and even the fashion CULTURE of the region at large, because by then, I had completely forgone trying to write a story WITHIN our world and found so much more possibilities by writing these Disney stories outside of our world and reality.

So, we have this dress. A glittery gold dress of dreams that has been nine years in the making, a dress that represents Belle at that pinnacle moment—and maybe even my own 'closing of the book,' if you will.

I designed this gown with a healthy understanding that throughout her 2-3 year stay in the castle and forest, she would have had so many dresses of so many colors and styles. I was focused more on contextualizing different decades of 18th century fashion to become region fashions with the redingote and a la Turque being something more used in the kingdom's capital, while more pastoral a la reigne being what could have been 'it' with the court, amongst others.

A lot of this dress was designed with the rest of her wardrobe in mind in an attempt to differentiate it from others. No other gown will have the same neckline, the same silhouette, the same volume, and the same color. Not even her hair and makeup would be similar to the other dresses. So, it feels like a 'step forward' in fashion within the trends and context set up in the story by all the other gowns worn by her and others.

For Belle's dress, I gravitated towards the silhouettes of the 1730s-40s, where the hip wasn't too angular and flowed more naturally like a...bell (that's an unintentional pun). I think that it's the more pleasing option, though Belle would be wearing more panniers throughout the story too. I wanted something that made the Waltz (which in this universe, had already been developed) elegant and not too cumbersome and panniers just felt too bulky, because the dances associated with it didn't need close contact. So, in the mechanics sense, I found that this would work best.

I maintained a dose fo 1950s-60s references in my head. I would love Belle to wear something like a re-imagined Dior New Look gown while strolling with Adam in the greenhouse or pull up Lacroix for dinner, de Garderobe being a very 'keen' fashion innovator with Belle as her muse.

But in my story, she would stay away from one specific color—yellow/gold. It was her mother's color and, in grieving, she refused to touch it and anything that could harken back to her mother, like south-asian style embroidery and motifs. But I think as Belle develops her own style and the more Adam and her bond, the more she comes to terms with her mother's death.

There's a lot to the story I can't share at the moment, of how they meet and how they bond, and why they're stuck in the forest. There's too much to discuss, but be assured that a lot had been retconned.

So this dress was her 'bringing' her mom to meet the man she fell in love with, even if she can't admit it. It's her coming to terms with what happened and carrying her mother with her instead of looking back with nothing but heartbreak.

And she looks damn good with her mama's color, I'll tell you that much. I know that on one hand, gold can be a color of greed and temptation, but for me, I think gold is 'pure' and 'luminous.' I wanted her intentions, those she cannot find the courage yet to speak, be clear and transfixing.

Another aspect was the symbolism of her and Adam's relationship. I know that flower garlands were in use in some gown throughout the 1750s-60s. I also know Lehengas are sometimes worn with a copious amount of flower garlands too, so I had this idea of just overflowing her dress with jasmines, which are a very common fixture even here in the Philippines with a context of spirituality as we usually put it on sacred images and statues. So, while on the shallow sense, it may come as a merging of two cultures, for me, there's a bit of sanctity, the same image evoked as Belle and the Beast danced under heavens and smiling cherubs.

In a story sense, the rose on her left chest represents her heart blooming for Adam, as if sprouting forth the gold, illuminating her like the sun as he is her sky...her space. It's as much a love letter to him as it is to herself and her mother, because I wanted to emphasize her POV in their story too, of how she felt safe and loved, away form ridicule and prejudice.

And lastly, the hair. Okay, so part of the journey was figuring out her hair. With a 1950s facade, for the longest time I focused on maintaining the curls of the rococo period and conflating it a lot with the waves of the 1950s, so you will see a lot of sketches with that. It wasn't until I tried understanding the overall silhouette of court fashion that I had my eureka moment and realize that the volume was more important than what's...within said volume. And, funnily enough, after trying SO HARD to avoid the hair bun...I ended up with a hairstyle that unintentionally pays homage to it.

My only regret is not finding a way to highlight the shoes HAHAHHAHAHA. I'm mad, because I really wanted to draw the shoe but I didn't want to ruin the way the gown flowed already.

TIMELINE

2016-2017: "Bitch, They've Hit the Pentagon."

As a kid, I was always exposed to fashion magazines since my mom used to be subscribed to a whole lot of them. I would look at Harper's Bazaar and Vogue, smell the perfume samples that came with them. I've always had a sort of inherent, passive interest in fashion but not enough to know the designers and the motifs.

But then, I saw a leak of Belle's gown in the 2017 version and...I lost it. I was convinced I would do a better job designing it, but hell, I think anyone would. Back then, i was obsessed with simply remaking the original dress and making it 'pretty.' Of course, as you can see, I based some on the broadway gown and afterwards, it sorta developed into this romantic, 2000s punk dress with lace fingerless gloves and whatever. HAHHAHAHA, at that time, I didn't really care for 18th century fashion...so...

2018: "Roco-NO? I think you mean, Marie Antion-YAS!"

I think the biggest step during this era was me falling in love with the fashion of the 18th century. I was exposed to Outlander and other shows and I started watching youtube videos deep-diving into court fashion, so I started veering away from anything vaguely 1840s-60s and literally went a hundred years BACK.

Sadly, it came with hang ups too. IDK what the hell I was doing with faces, honestly? Also, I was really forcing the off-the-shoulder V-boob neckline far too much, even when it was...very hard to make sense off construction-wise.

2019-2021: "Wait a minute...Desi...Belle?"

At this point, I've fleshed out the story in my head for more diversity, not just because diversity matters, but I wanted more things to be different in the settings and the world the Disney Heroes are based in. I wanted the idea that trade and intermingling of cultures was far more common and recognized and I thought that Belle being biracial was a good choice, and something I related to.

I guess that's what was the most important development during this period. Though note how I initially wanted her to have henna on her hands but I decided that that would be better at the wedding. In addition, there was little effort to make the actual gown reflect her heritage.

2022-2023: "Screw it, I give up!"

During this time, I was doing my internship, so I lost interest in designing and art in general. It was just hard to concentrate, really, but still, I think that there were a lot of aspects to these deigns that ultimately lead me to the final design.

2024-NOW: "And They All Lived..."

So now, we're here at the present. It's been such a long time coming and I feel relief to be able to share this and move on, so to speak. Even if I have a lot of creative energy and a better relationship with my art, I've come to realize that I can't make a dress I love without having a whole ass story to fantasize about.

Sure, I have a few designs for the other princesses with their own huge stories that make it easy to find direction, but I can't confidently say that I would want to keep making stories for all princesses moving forward. I would love to, of course, but I don't want that to be the whole reason for my blog to catch attention.

Keep your eyes peeled for more disney gowns, but I do hope you stay for some other projects i want to do, maybe some muscle daddies in cute dresses, fashion designs I wish were on the National Costume category for Miss Universe or DRPH, and maybe some studies here or there and gay pinups.

I hope that for those who have stayed here reading all of this to have a wonderful day and to never stop creating and chiseling away at your block of marble.

Maraming Salamat!

[thevoidlookedback]

An Essay on Nihilism and Ennui

Maybe the world is doomed. Maybe you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you were born on a train that had run of our track, long after we shot the engineers and burned the plans to lay track anew. The conductors barricaded the engine room where they hold hostage generations of coal miners who are forced to keep full steam ahead lest they be shoved into the incinerators themselves.

Maybe we can’t change any of that. I’d like to hope we can. Unfortunately hope isn’t the thing that drags your ass out of the cave you’ve collapsed into constructed of pizza boxes and soiled sheets. Drive is. Action is. Curiosity is.

Suppose we’re stuck on this train. It will crash. We will all die in a horrible fiery explosion, or succumb to the fumes first. What are you going to do in the meantime?

Here’s the thing: Life sucks and we’re all going to die. We don’t know when, we don’t know how. It feels impossible to plan for a future we have little data to prove will exist. What we do have is the interim. We can sit around and doom-scroll on our phones, or we can live life while we have it.

Plant a garden out of old coffee cans. Invite your friends over to fingerpaint on cardboard. Kiss the people you think about when you lay in bed at night. Chase an unrealistic dream, not because you believe it is possible, but because you can’t live with yourself if you never try.

That’s what you’re doing when you ingest endless content. You are simultaneously looking for the thing that will complete you, and desperately running from the voice inside that asks “what if there’s more?”

Stop. Running. Turn around. Look at the voice headlong. Dare to ask it back: “What more do I want there to be?”

Then go find it.

[emotionaldashtoons]

More of my INSIDE OUT/SPY AU!

I've created all six characters to finish up my character list of my Spy AU of Inside Out, first I did Fear as Agent Flint, Disgust as Agent Daphne, Joy as the bad spy girl, Joyce, and Anger as the villainous Dr. Ira August, but what about Envy, Nostalgia, Sadness, Ennui, Embarrassment, and Anxiety as my own Spy AU characters. Well, let's find out on these AU characters I've made.

For @re-colligere

(The GOOD SPIES)

AGENT EMILY

Emily is a small rookie that has so much experience by seeing the agents in action. She got hired by doing well at filing and creating documents and stylized weapons. When she supports Agent Daphne, like... really supports her. She wants to get into in the most dangerous missions. But Daphne motherly keeps her safe. Flint is supportive to her because she knows that Flint has a crush on Daphne and gives him love and action advice.

COL. GRANNY NATALIE

Granny is the CEO and Lt. Col. of the N.E.A.L. (National Emotional Agency League) and she would want her agents to be keep in order during the investigation of Dr. Ira August, she would also want Flint to stay fragile onto Daphne's backstory because Daphne has good and bad mannerisms. But during the climax, when Dr. Ira captures Daphne, Flint and Granny would have to go save her at a moving train. Granny knows how to ride a helicopter to track her agents.

MISS SABRINA

(Sabrina is an anti-hero. Both bad and good at the same time).

Miss Sabrina is an anti-hero in my spy au. She is the engineer of Dr. Ira's flying machine called, "The Flames of Anger." The gadgets she creates, for Dr. Ira, Joyce, and the rest of his crew, are very, VERY, VERY, deadly. She also happens to be Joyce's girlfriend and Joyce gets very angry when she finds out Sabrina portrays The Bad Spies, and Daphne saves her before Joyce attempts to blow up both Sabrina and her certain crush known as...

AGENT EDDIE

Eddie is the muscle, the chauffeur, and the shy guy! He is the big man of the group. He owns lots of cars that matches the Agents' colors. And during in the missions while helping Emily, his favorite car happens to be The Pink Diablo. Very fast just like a GTA 5 lamborghini. He also helps Miss Sabrina (which I'll introduce more of her when you read more) (also Embarrassment did help Sadness just like in Inside Out 2 so that's my idea) to help Flint and Daphne to get well done with missions. And he has a big shy crush on her too.

(the BAD SPIES)

PROFESSOR ANNABELLE

In her story, Professor Annabelle lost her eye and arm in two accidents. Her eye got blasted when fighting against an android with laser guns alongside with Dr. Ira. And her arm got exploded off in a dynamite experiment. She is commonly good friends with Joyce and Miss Sabrina because both the three of their likabilities onto hating the good spies really steps in first into their friendship. Dr. Ira is a nice friend to her too, but Ira is immune by her one puppy dog eye when she wants to help Dr. Ira onto stopping Daphne and Flint. Speaking of Daphne and Flint. Annabelle has a small evil crush on Flint but Daphne is hesitant against that and her. And the weapons she creates can destroy anything, everything, and everyone on sight when she's fully anxious. Between Sabrina and Annabelle, they are both tech buddies until when she hears about Sabrina and Eddie teaming up, she has a laser detonator that Joyce and her created to obliterated them until Agent Daphne saves Sabrina and Eddie.

EVELYNN Lè BOUEF

Evelynn is a French asassin hired by Dr. Ira trying to hunt down Daphne and Flint. If she gets them, she is rewarded for $200k grand, if she fails, she will do the mission again but her only reward.. will be her life. She only wears gray, blue, purple, and white clothing, those colors are only her four favorites. When she encounters Flint, she is lovely yet evily intimidated by him (mostly beacuse when Flint is around Daphne, Joyce, and Annabelle, somehow Flint doesn't take a break to rizz). And for Daphne, both of them can't stand each other. Because an assassin and spy are not alike to each other. A Spy protects and serves and an asassin hunts and kills.

\______^______^______^______^______^______/

And that's about all with the main ten emotions from Inside Out 2 in my own spy au. Sorry for the mis-wording and the mis-spelling on my paper. I still made sure I had to type on Tumblr correctly to have you guys know what I'm showing you, or talking about. And if you guys want to see more of my own au, let me know. I hope you guys have a great day!

[therobotmonster]

Let's talk about Toys in Cereal

This is a part of several posts of mine that have gotten big, but I figure it's best to address the phenomenon itself in a new post.

If you want to just browse a ton of cool old cereal toys once we're done, go to: www.cratercritters.com. It's a neat site.

Cereal toys are a long-standing American tradition. Some tag-questions asked if they went away because of greed or because of regulations, and that's complicated.

There are food regulations that complicate things. You may have heard that Kinder Eggs are not legal in the US.

This is usually framed as a "fear the stupid American Kids will eat the toy" kind of thing. This is not the case.

The actual regulation that blocks the Kinder Egg is about food safety from bacterial and undisclosed allergen contamination. Inserting a baggie with a toy into that exposes everything in the cereal bag to the outside of the toy package, and that's a no-no in the US market. The rare thing we're more strict about than the EU.

But that doesn't affect cereal toys, because they can get around it by having it in a separate package outside the food bag, between the inner back and the cardboard box. Much easier on the parents to find when you open the box, too.

Kinder has, themselves, addressed the US Kinder Egg problem the same way, with the Kinder Joy.

Splitting the package. into two sections that are individually sealed.

But a big blow to the practice was the end of the Australian R&L Toy Company.

R&L made tons of simple pack-in Premium toys from the 60s through the 80s. They were the primary supplier to Kelloggs, and made everything from simple one-piece figurines to little build-yourself-action-toys.

For instance, these "Wacky Walkers" worked by tying a string to the figure and the weight, then dropping the weight off a table. The figures would hobble forward on their feet, pulled by the weight. Neat-o!

Then there's stuff like these Toolybirds. I'd sell any one of you to the goblin king for a set of these, because I sure can't afford them at $25 apiece or more. I'll probably just make some dinosaur-knockoff version or somesuch to 3d print, eventually.

R&L went out of business in the 80s and its molds were sold to a toy manufacturing company in Mexico that produced their stuff as bag toys for awhile, before everything just faded away.

Meanwhile, the cereal market was forced to contract elsewhere without a devoted company doing essentially just that.

Liscenses came to the rescue. Fun fact, if you wanted toys from most of the Disney Afternoon, your only hope was Kellogg's.

As time went on, you started even getting software in cereal.

Chex gave out a free, PG-version of DOOM for free. Not a couple of demo levels, a whole game, run on the doom engine, with aliens you zap with a spoon.

But as time went on, companies got less and less into the idea of enticing with freebies, and parents started objecting to the marketing of sugar cereals with toy surprises, because given the opportunity, most parents will blame the company for making something the kid wants for their unwillingness to say "No."

The eternal conflict:

Cool thing the kid would enjoy that you might have to put your foot down over because enforcing moderation is a parent's job, verses unobjectionable conformist mush designed to increase your kids' "goodness levels."

I think the banning of cartoon mascots for snacks in certain countries is also ridiculous.

Thing is, any company could bring them back at any time.

The Monster cereals did figurines of their mascots in cosplay in 2021. Of course, they did it as a limited edition bullshit thing where the actual monster cereal mascots were chase figures, but they made them, they could do them at any time if they wanted to.

They could bring the magic back. Nothing is stopping them.

'cept there's no room for joy on the spreadsheet.

Gotta hit you with a little ennui. It's that ambergris stink that makes the perfume truly sweet.

[bisonofyesterday]

PHENOMENAL!

THAT'S RIGHT IT'S A LORE POST FOR THE SITCOM OCs

In the vibrant fantasy comic book world of New York City, the Phenomenal Family seek to make their corporate stake in it through costumed ennui and comical dysfunction! Starring!:

RANDY: Doctor Phenomenal! Dr. Randall Reed's a technical engineering wiz and has the powers of elasticity (as well as electricity via static shock but I forgot to add effects around that!), due to a rocky childhood he has a lot of emotional walls up but regardless of his rather rude attitude his family'll always manage to knock them down.

MILLIE: ALSO Doctor Phenomenal! They share the title, Mildred Rojas is a biogenetics/chemical wiz and has power over the classical set of elements (except air, it's green earth, blue fire, red ice, etc, with potential for more!), she's jaded by the life she's found herself in and responds to this with a deep level of snark, something that gets on the neurotic Randy's nerves, but they do love eachother! They're just WEEEEIRD about it, they're neither dating nor married but some kind of third thing.

DANI: Millie's useless young adult sister whom both she and Randy raised from birth, as such the product of two brash minds is an even brashder mind, despite Danielle Rojas's punk-rock attitude she's rather secluded, being mostly isolated during her childhood, her mad science skills are still in their infancy and her powers are vague and quantum in nature, but she can float and go fast! She and Randy hate eachother, she's also transgender!

GARY: Randy's best friend from childhood (he might also be his brother? I'm not married to that idea yet), Gary's the family's fun uncle, his powers made him into an alien freak of nature, but he doesn't mind all that much (in-fact, he seems MORE comfortable in this form than his old one?), due to a lack of vocal cords, he utilizes apparent psychic abilities to talk to people, giving him an eternally echoey inflection (he sounds like John Ratzenberger! Real voice claim!).

[deliciouskeys]

So I liked what we have of season 4 a lot?! I don't know if I set my expectations really low, maybe didn't expect to get that fandom feeling back, but I think I can say with certainty that I've enjoyed e1-3 of s4 more than e1-3 of s3, and mayyyyyybe even more than e1-3 of s2. Some of the storylines don't interest me, but that was true of prior seasons too.

Things I am loving so far...

(under cut because there may be teensy weensy spoiler references)

Sister Sage! Yes, she says the lines that are in the trailer, but they are so misleading about the type of character she is. I LOVE her so far.

Homelander's frustration with being adored no matter what he does and his ennui about being surrounded with sycophants (which tbf, he engineered). I am SO glad they're walking that back to some degree. Related to point 1 above, I am delighted by the way he goes about solving this problem.

Every single scene with Ryan is so fucking good?? Like, Cameron Crovetti is the ideal Ryan of my mind's eye when I write fic. I feel SO bad for him. But I am loving the divorced plot and them jockeying to be his dad. Some of it reads like fucking fic, in a good way too. Like I can't believe the conversation between HL and Ryan after he comes back from Butcher's place actually happened on TV and not in my head.

I am actually SO SO happy they decided to outsource Billy Butcher's shitty tendencies to his Tyler Durden. I did not expect him to fucking apologize to Ryan for the S3 debacle. Even ~I~ felt apologized to for that "necessary for the plot but makes zero sense outburst".

I am loling every time Noir speaks. I don't know why, but I'm finding it hilarious.

I think they're actually doing a good job with A-Train's storyline, or a better job than I expected to justify how he becomes their new double agent.

I'm enjoying Chace Crawford's work in season 4. I like that he's sincere about the comic relief role.

Hughie is so charismatic, and for the first time in 4 seasons I think he elicited tears in me (in the scene right before his mom shows up when he's listening to his dad's messages).

I like Ashley's dialogue more this season than season 3. Part of that may have to do with me enjoying her character when she's angry rather than scared shitless or "trying to imitate HL"

I welcome the larger Victoria Neumann presence, and can't wait to see more about her past.

I enjoyed BIlly Butcher using a crowbar in a fight

I enjoyed seeing Antony Starr playing a mommy and a daddy and a.... secret third thing in the mirror.

What I'm meh about...

I hate to say this but the Boys' storylines are mostly dragging and feel disconnected. I'm already tired of Frenchie and Kimiko refusing to talk to each other and attempting to drink/drug their problems away. The mystery about why Frenchie is distraught was mostly solved right away, and Kimiko's mystery is still some derivative of her backstory in S2. It just doesn't feel connected.

Mother's Milk is fine, but I do think his character took a turn toward the unreasonable in season 3, and it has sort of continued. It's not clear to me why he's kicking Butcher out of the team multiple times, especially when Butcher saves them, and clearly has nothing better to do with his time. It feels especially cruel to kick him out when he tells him about the terminal illness.

Annie's storyline is.... fine, I guess. Maybe it will develop into something more interesting, but it feels like the writers don't exactly know what to do with her now that she's out of the Seven. I don't know why Firecracker had to have a personal vendetta against Starlight beyond being a symbol of 'wokeness'. I guess I'll wait to see if Annie's meangirl past becomes relevant as the season goes on.

Firecracker is okay. I'm amused that Homelander seems bored and annoyed by her, so I take it it's fine if we feel the same way too. It's certainly an interesting addition to the Seven to have someone so underpowered.

Hughie's mom frustrates me so much I wanted HL to come and laser her instead of Hughie after that chase. Her explanation made it worse for me, not better. I await to be proven wrong, but so far I think Hughie is being a really kind person to her. "Your father didn't want me to talk to you". But you were allegedly talking to him for years? And you son is in his 20s, I think you could have contacted without his daddy's say-so. UGH.

I don't really care about this so much, because I don't like character deaths, but it is pretty funny when Vicky doesn't kill Hughie or Butcher, and when Homelander is nerfed beyond all belief and is unable to laser Hughie in a closed space. I'll chalk it up to him losing a step or fifty with the enlargement of his prostate.

[inventors-fair]

Deputized Entries

~

@arixordragc — Ominous Swell @bread-into-toast — Brooding Imperiosaur @cthulhusaurusrex — Cypress, Knowing Nuisance @curiooftheheart — Runescribe Guildmage @deg99 — Smokeshroud Infiltration @dimestoretajic — The Council of Glen Elendra @feyd-rautha-apologist — Bloodmire Leechfisher @grornt — Gruesome Trawling @harunakonomi — Forever Bound @helloijustreadyourpost — Aggressive Rearmament @hypexion — Mothcrafter's Art @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Rat King's Heir @izzet-always-r-versus-u — Crucible of Revelation @j2miner — Crocodylidae Technician @lanabutnotdelray — Prankster Party @melancholia-ennui — Genesis Breeder @milfannihilator — Telepathic Plague @misterstingyjack — Knucklebones, Grave Gambler @nfatcheese — Goblin Trapper @nine-effing-hells — False Shepherd @real-aspen-hours — Canine Patrol @reaperfromtheabyss — Outbreak Engineer @tanknspank — Lifecraft Adept @wildcardgamez — Bramble Story Circle @wizard-of-interesting-failure — Produce-a-Panda @xenobladexfan — Powerstone Extractor @yd12k — Glen Elendra Eductaor @yourrightfulking — Devouring Swarm

Thank you for all your entries!

[mariacallous]

A few years ago I wrote about how, when planning my wedding, I’d signaled to the Pinterest app that I was interested in hairstyles and tablescapes, and I was suddenly flooded with suggestions for more of the same. Which was all well and fine until—whoops—I canceled the wedding and it seemed Pinterest pins would haunt me until the end of days. Pinterest wasn’t the only offender. All of social media wanted to recommend stuff that was no longer relevant, and the stench of this stale buffet of content lingered long after the non-event had ended.

So in this new era of artificial intelligence—when machines can perceive and understand the world, when a chatbot presents itself as uncannily human, when trillion-dollar tech companies use powerful AI systems to boost their ad revenue—surely those recommendation engines are getting smarter, too. Right?

Maybe not.

Recommendation engines are some of the earliest algorithms on the consumer web, and they use a variety of filtering techniques to try to surface the stuff you’ll most likely want to interact with—and in many cases, buy—online. When done well, they’re helpful. In the earliest days of photo sharing, like with Flickr, a simple algorithm made sure you saw the latest photos your friend had shared the next time you logged in. Now, advanced versions of those algorithms are aggressively deployed to keep you engaged and make their owners money.

More than three years after reporting on what Pinterest internally called its “miscarriage” problem, I’m sorry to say my Pinterest suggestions are still dismal. In a strange leap, Pinterest now has me pegged as a 60- to 70-year-old, silver fox of a woman who is seeking a stylish haircut. That and a sage green kitchen. Every day, like clockwork, I receive marketing emails from the social media company filled with photos suggesting I might enjoy cosplaying as a coastal grandmother.

I was seeking paint #inspo online at one point. But I’m long past the paint phase, which only underscores that some recommendation engines may be smart, but not temporal. They still don’t always know when the event has passed. Similarly, the suggestion that I might like to see “hairstyles for women over 60” is premature. (I’m a millennial.)

Pinterest has an explanation for these emails, which I’ll get to. But it’s important to note—so I’m not just singling out Pinterest, which over the past two years has instituted new leadership and put more resources into fine-tuning the product so people actually want to shop on it—that this happens on other platforms, too.

Take Threads, which is owned by Meta and collects much of the same user data that Facebook and Instagram do. Threads is by design a very different social app than Pinterest. It’s a scroll of mostly text updates, with an algorithmic “For You�� tab and a “Following” tab. I actively open Threads every day; I don’t stumble into it, the way I do from Google Image Search to images on Pinterest. In my Following tab, Threads shows me updates from the journalists and techies I follow. In my For You tab, Threads thinks I’m in menopause.

Wait, what? Laboratorially, I’m not. But over the past several months Threads has led me to believe I might be. Just now, opening the mobile app, I’m seeing posts about perimenopause; women in their forties struggling to shrink their midsections, regulate their nervous systems, or medicate for late-onset ADHD; husbands hiring escorts; and Ali Wong’s latest standup bit about divorce. It’s a Real Housewives-meets-elder-millennial-ennui bizarro world, not entirely reflective of the accounts I choose to follow or my expressed interests.

Meta gave a boilerplate response when I asked how Threads weights its algorithm and determines what people want to see. Spokesperson Seine Kim said what I’m seeing is personalized to me based on a number of signals, “such as accounts and posts you have interacted with in the past on both Threads and Instagram. We also consider factors like how recently a post was made and how many interactions it has received.” (A better explanation might be that Threads has a rage-bait problem, as this intrepid reporter learned.)

What scares me most about this is not that Meta has a shitbucket of data on me (old news) or that the health hacks I’m being shown might be completely illegitimate. It’s that I might be lingering on these posts more than I realize, unconsciously shoveling more signals in and anxiously spiraling around my own identity in the process. For those of us who came of age on the internet some 20 to 30 years ago, the way these recommendation systems work now represents a fundamental shift to how we long thought of our lives online. We used to log on to tell people who we were, or who we wanted to be; now the machines tell us who we are, and sometimes, we might even believe them.

As for Pinterest, I granted the company access to my account so they could investigate why the app recommends ageist, AARP-grade content to me in its emails. It turns out I hadn’t actively logged in to the app in over a year, which means the data it has one me is, ironically, old. Back then I was researching paint, so the app thinks I’m still into that.

Then there’s the grandma hair: Not only had I searched on Pinterest for skincare products and hairstyles in the long-ago past, but Pinterest gives a lot of weight to data from other users who have searched for similar items. So perhaps those other, non-identifiable users are into these hairstyles. The company claims its perceived relevance for recommendations has improved over the past year.

Pinterest’s suggested solution for me? Use Pinterest more. Un-pin stuff I don’t like. Threads also suggested I can fine-tune my own feed by swiping left to hide a post or tapping a three-dot menu to indicate I’m not interested. It’s on me, young buck. In both cases, I’m supposed to tell the algorithms who I am.

I’m supposed to do the work. I’m supposed to swipe more. I’ll be so much better off if I do. And so will they.

[lvrb]

hi!! love the project so far, i’ve been keeping an eye on it on twt and i’m super happy to see it here too! your art is stunning and the extra fantasy touches you’re adding are so much fun!

i was wondering, are there any particular core loonaverse theories that you like most, or that inspired you when making rebirth?

thank you!! :D

tysm anon!!! im glad others r enjoying my interpretations 😁😁🩷

loonaverse theories .. there's quite a bit but here r the ones on the top of my head that i use for this project! since I'm talking about base loonaverse theories im using the base names. Also this ended up quite long so

#1 Hyunjin (Dan-bi) was part of OEC

Being seen in Girl Front etc... i think this is widely accepted iirc. specifically the Primary Odd Eye Circle with her, Kim Lip, and Jinsoul. i just like the amnesia trope ngl and (LVRB INTERPRETATION) her figuring out her important past as a guardian when Hana has tried to hard to keep her away from that.... yay being a bit too protective of your loved one you erase their memory and shun her from her previous best friends (OEC) to keep her out of harms way but instead instilling a sense of ennui and anxiety into her 🩷 Hana doesn't know much about how humans work and Dan-bi is along for the ride

#2 Vivi rescued Jinsoul from a basement

Ok i admit i think this was supposed to be an inside joke (see https://youtu.be/OtNlb86wY38?si=yE1Zp6pzrgtWM479) but i think it's a fun dynamic! adopted sisters who end up in conflict + a "malfunctioning" darker guardian that Hana did not manage to take care of well enough ... this is also in my head because of the Everyday I Need You MV where Jinsoul and Vivi r tgt. im now noticing my lvrb interpretation is barely things from "canon" but in my defense there's barely A Canon so many interpretations r possible

#3 LOONAVERSE Vivi dies (and becomes an android)

from her android-ness in Love & Live <- flashback from New and EILY where she is more human! i THINK this is widely accepted...? the point of contention is how she dies. i just love a good murder mystery and Vivi figuring out her past alongside Hyunjin and I personally love a story of someone tragically losing their agency and getting it back. Transgenderisms and such

#4 LOONAVERSE Haseul is trans

read the let me in lyrics i remember there being a slideshow about this theory on tumblr years ago and that has stuck with me ever since. in my interpretation Hyejin is transmasculine and basically embraces their own masculine presentation and figures out their gender identity, breaking free from the strict perfect Asian eldest daughter role he felt he was meant to have. projection i suppose. only core thing about this is Birdseul that she kills but i do what i want. also i her loonaverse story can absolutely be read as a transfeminine story as well but as a trans guy myself i don't feel i can tell that story as well as a transfem person can but id Love to see that interpretation as well. Loonaverse haseul is just transgender

#5 LOONAVERSE Jinsoul kills Vivi (Masterminded by Olivia Hye)

The point of contention! who killed vivi! i chose the cop out aka Olivia plans the killing to get revenge on Yves and Jinsoul carries it out. in LVRB Sabrina kills Feifei out of jealousy of her spending time with Eve (my emotionally unregulated queen) and manipulated by Lilith but ends up in immense grief when actually carrying out. Then Sabrina uses her mechanical engineering skills to bring Feifei back as an android and give her everything she wants, pink hair, partially a deer. felt there was more potential to thiss

#6 World ends in So What MV

Hence my apocalyptic mobius strip concept in arc 2

#7 1/3 and yyxy are mirrors of each other

this theory is because of the similar colours between the 2 units! I think it's a pretty well known theory iirc :p

Part of LVRB's story that Hana wants to control test a world that mimics Earth (hence Mobius Strip Earth version) and a realm that she tries to make devoid of rife and struggle (Eden). Hence as a control she basically puts clones in both environments! she doesn't know how bad human experimentation is yet sorry guys. there r many different versions of this theory but my ver is:

Hana // Eve (yes she clones what she thinks she is like ok she's just a silly girl)

Alice // Lilith (which is why Alice was the only one able to reach and understand her in the end and why previous OEC failed to stop her causing Hana to carelessly time loop)

Hye-jin // Faith

Feifei & Ha-Eun // Marie

Marie is 2 ppl bc Hana fucked up + Hye-jin's grief about themselves was so intense that the universe took a little colour from Feifei to make Ha-Eun to support Hye-jin :-)

Ok that's all i can think about rn but for fun here's a semi-popular theory that I choose to reject for this retelling

#0 Vivi was in yyxy

the most simple explanation that i rejected this is that I want the drama of Eve falling in love for a human girl (Feifei) and helping her learn about herself outside the oppressive institution of Eden 🍎 and Lilith knowing this and stripping Feifei of her humanity. Like separated by two different worlds LET'S GO!! and a more personal one is that i don't think there is enough evidence to hint to this besides her being with Yves in MVs

#0 Ok another one: Vivi has an odd eye

this is kinda a lie because she does have an odd eye in LVRB because when Sabrina has a mental breakdown after killing her and rebuilds her into an android -- Sabrina blesses her with part of her power in order to keep her safe from anyone, especially Lilith. Hence the superspeed and not needing sustenance or air to stay alive. but otherwise this theory is from her blue eye in Love & Live which is just a robotic thing 2 me... besides that she doesn't have much association with Odd Eye powers besides Jinsoul.

ok that went on for too long i love rambling about the loonaverse

[funeral]

We are each so trapped within our customary prisons. Sometimes I think our eyes are like twin tunnels leading inwards and downwards to the hidden chambers, control rooms wherein the frightened operators of these human suits, shrunken homunculi, grapple with levers, tormented as Ixion and Sisyphus, their fingers dripping with engine oil, slipping through ennui and fatigue. But perhaps there is some other tunnel beyond this, an inter-dimensional escape-hatch, an invisible umbilical that passes through, and unites, each of us. This is the paradox, the final fusion of hope and despair: that we are each so irrevocably separate and unable to bridge the black void between each other, and at the same time also ultimately so similar deep down when all the trappings of memories and prejudices have been stripped away. How to reach that hidden thread that passes through the guts of us each and wraps and entangles itself around the whole world, like strangling ivy across the ruins of cities and cathedrals in our decaying utopias? I believe that there is only one way to reach and find it: to go deeper, ever deeper.

Emil Cioran, quoted in Wound of Wounds: An Ovation to Emil Cioran

[what-gs-watching]

"If that's a joke, I love it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."

So, here’s a thing - winter makes me sad. I mean, it makes a lot of people sad, but also me. When I was younger I used to just cause a whole bunch of drama to get it out of my system but I’m an adult now and I’m still mostly fruitlessly job searching and I can’t really just go around starting fights anymore so I’m just sitting in my ennui, feeling unmoored. 

Which made me realize: I need Ted Lasso. Desperately.

Wherein, a low level American football coach moves to England to coach actual football (aka soccer) and ends up creating something so beautiful it’ll make you laugh and cry until you just can’t anymore.

If you’ve never seen Ted Lasso, first of all - how dare you? And secondly, start it now. Like, literally right now. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed. 

I will admit I didn’t get into it until my husband watched it and encouraged me into it because of my love for Jason Sudeikis. I tend to pick up unnatural obsessions for SNL alumni, I just want all of them to succeed, so I gave in and instantly lost my mind over it. I couldn’t get enough.

During the second season run, I literally had a standing weekly fifteen minute meeting with my engineers to talk about the latest episode and our theories on what would happen next, or what our favorite joke had been. There were MANY heated debates.

Before the third season came out, I made my family binge the first two seasons while we were on vacation. I remember my mom calling me after she and my dad had watched the series finale so we could talk about it - she’d never bought into a show like that before.  

Ted Lasso just brings people together, and I find it absolutely ridiculous that this poignant, wonderful, life affirming show came out of a bit that Sudeikis wrote in 2013 for an NBC Sports commercial. It’s mind boggling. 

You guys know, it’s all about the relationships for me, and that’s the entire show, really. Ted is unrelentingly positive and charming and understanding and the reason he likes coaching is because he wants to help his players be the best versions of themselves and wooooph throughout the show, you get that, for every single character, even Ted himself. It’s about loving each other and loving yourself and also somewhat about football and it’s just so fucking…delightful. 

And I’m obsessed with all of the different dynamics. Ted and Beard, and Roy and Ted and Beard, and Roy and Jamie, and Roy and Keeley, and fucking Keeley and Rebecca! If you need to see a perfect incredible WONDERFUL female friendship, it’s Rebecca and Keeley fucking Jones. Someone needs to write a long-winded essay about these two, because dear lord, I want a best friend like that. Everyone wants a best friend like that. Like, I just can’t with all of the messy, hilarious, beautiful relationships. I want to be part of them all.

Also,  it’s funny. Like, properly funny. Laugh-out-loud-no-matter-how-many-times-you’ve-seen-it funny. The bits are layered. And you’ll get something different out of them every single time. Nuance, gang. It’s all so nuanced. 

The first season is absolutely perfect. You get to know all of the characters and you get a general sense of what’s up. Everyone is kind of charming and you’re immediately annoyed with Rebecca and charmed by Roy even though he tries his best to be threatening, and you think that Nathan is adorable and you’re pulled into Ted’s unwavering enthusiasm and Beard’s silliness indulgence and straight-man stoicism and Keeley’s adorableness. And it’s WONDERFUL! I’ve seen season one at least four or five times, likely more. It’s everything.

There are so many good moments. At one point, Ted says he’s having salads for lunch with Higgins who is communications director or something and as Ted goes to leave Higgins says “Cesar you later!” and Ted BURSTS back in through the door and just yells “YES!” and it’s hilarious every time. 

When Ted and Beard realize that Roy is a bristling motherfucker who wants to hate everything, Ted says something like “wait til we win him over”, with Beard announcing “He’s. Going to be. Furious.” (And he was.)

It’s the little things in the first season that really endear you to Ted Lasso. It just wraps you up and makes you feel warm and appreciated, like there are people out there that are pure and good and they can make you feel pure and good too. 

And then you get into season two and you start to see behind the curtain. Ted’s really not okay with his divorce (which, I still think is because his wife couldn’t deal with his optimism? Which is so insane to me and I can’t even, I never forgave her like, what the fuck is that) and in general and they tackle a lot of mental health issues and social issues and it’s a bit hard to get through.

But at the same time, season two has some of my favorite bits? Which is confusing??! The scene where Sam asks Isaac for a haircut - everyone gets a single cut from the captain once a season - and the entire team watches and whoops and freaks out and it’s like, an intricate performance and everyone is just so fucking thrilled to be witnessing it? It’s weirdly beautiful. 

Ted and Beard teaching the entire team the choreography to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye so they can send off the team shrink in a ridiculous way? Incredible. When they finally get the dance right, they lose their fucking minds. It’s so JOYFUL.

The episode where Roy finally realizes he wants to join the coaching staff and he makes a dramatic trek to the stadium while “She’s a Rainbow” blares? The theme of that one was believing in rom-communism - to rouse the team Ted tells them “Fairy tales do not start nor do they end in the dark forest” and yo that’s so TRUE - and when Roy finally showed up on the pitch he said, “You had me at ‘coach’.” I cry every single time I see that one. I literally watched it twice in a week when getting the family into the show and I cried both times. Hard. 

I think part of the reason this show is so resonating is because dark shit happens, but a lot of really sweet things happen too. There’s an episode wherein Rebecca’s dad dies and they’re all attending the funeral but it still is somehow achingly funny too, even though you learn some terrible things about Ted and Rebecca both in that one. They really ride the line of darkness and light and it’s messy and that’s life.

And then season three is hard.  So much happens. And you know that you’re barreling toward the finale. There’s only 34 episodes in the entire series and it’s not nearly enough but they do try to make the most of their time. 

Watching the finale season in real time was really interesting though, I’ll say, because the fandom was so nuts at the time. So many random theories and outrage over some of the story points. And at the time I did kind of agree, but seeing it all back to back now in my first true binge, it all makes sense. Everyone had their own journey and some of them were ridiculous and maybe we just wanted things to stay the same because that’s how we fell in love with the characters but that’s not the point, gang. Shit is forever changing.

I’ll never get over the moment when Roy finally relents to the diamond dogs. Or Jamie teaching him how to ride a fucking bike in Amsterdam. Or when the team comes together to help Sam put his restaurant back together after it’s completely vandalized. Or Beard explaining to Nate his background with Ted, and offering his forgiveness to Nate as a way to honor everything Ted has done. Or Rebecca calling Roy out on his shit, saying that instead of helping himself he’d rather “eat shit soup and then complain about the portions”. 

There are so many little beautiful pieces. So many things that will pull at your heart strings and make you realize things that maybe have been niggling around in your brain but refusing to come forward because you were scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of everything, because it encourages you to accept yourself as you are.

In the final episode, Higgins says “Human beings are never gonna be perfect. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you'll always be moving towards better.” 

And that’s what all of us need to understand. This show will ingrain that thought into you, and it’ll buoy you, and you won’t even realize it. 

So maybe now I’m feeling less ennui. Because I’m still laughing at the hijinx and basking in the wholesomeness and the amazingly perfect relationships  and the belief. Ted Lasso makes you fucking believe.