#ep/album: are you alright?

[daily-lovejoy-lyrics]

[argcicle]

My half-delirious ranking because it’s past midnight and I just realized the album came out:

1. Portrait of a Blank Slate

2. Scum

3. Consequences

4. Call Me What You Like

5. It’s Golden Hour Somewhere

6. Warsaw

[wilbursoot-updates]

Lovejoy are your new indie-punk obsession

Lovejoy is in this article!

There’s an undeniable link between Lovejoy and the internet, not only because the band’s reputation and success were built digitally, but due to the platform that frontman Will Gold had built from his streaming days. There, Gold developed a devoted fanbase and gained the trust and admiration of people who enjoyed who he was as a person. Gold then started premiering his original solo work on his Twitch channel, dipping his toes into the music scene while remaining afloat in his streaming career. Eventually, he founded Lovejoy.

But Lovejoy are so much more than Gold and his Twitch platform — it’s a combination of people and different tastes in music, perspectives, and understandings. Each member plays a pivotal role in the band, outside of playing instruments. “We’re all pooling different batches of influences. None of us like the same music,” bassist Ash Kabosu explains. The hardcore influence comes from Kabosu and drummer Mark Boardman and their desire for “more moshing” at their shows, whereas the love of funk-pop stems from Gold and lead guitarist Joe Goldsmith, mixed with Gold’s mutual adoration for Arctic Monkeys from an early age. The band’s fun, friendly relationship with each other bleeds into the one they have with their fanbase.

It was the middle of the pandemic, and while the streets were empty, and the news played distantly in the background, something big was brewing in the U.K. During those quiet days, Lovejoy, a Brighton-based outfit, would emerge. With an intoxicating sound that channels alt-rockers Arctic Monkeys and the Killers, Lovejoy also incorporate elements of hardcore music throughout their tracks. In the band’s words, they “find the sounds that we like and then elevate those ideas.”  

Playing under pseudonyms in undisclosed venues and working furiously in studios, they became Lovejoy. Gold and Goldsmith founded the band after meeting in another folk group. Kabosu was later recruited in a Smashburger, and Boardman was hired on Fiverr, before being asked to officially join. The chemistry was immediate, Kabosu explains, “The very first day all four of us were in one place was when we were recording [debut EP] Are You Alright?” Their sense of humor was identical, and they were on the same wavelength. With Gold’s memorable past as a streamer and an already dedicated legion of fans, Lovejoy quickly rose from the chaos of the pandemic. 

After their experimentation with different pseudonyms, this year showcased their first shows as Lovejoy. With a U.K. tour during March and an impressive festival run from all over Europe to the US, totaling over 15 individual festivals, earlier this year, the band are gearing up to finish the year off with an EU/U.K. tour featuring Good Kid, an indie-rock band from Toronto. The tour has already sold out — and Lovejoy haven’t even released an album yet. “Hold your breath. It’ll be worth the wait,” Gold insists.

The excitement over this quartet is palpable, as their addictive rock blend consists of double-kick drums, chugging basslines, and smooth melodies. While Lovejoy are neither technically hardcore nor punk, they tap into heavier techniques due to Kabosu and Boardman’s interests in bands like Linkin Park and Bring Me The Horizon. Kabous found Linkin Park as a kid and was “mindblown,” “My friend Jamie had just gone on holiday to the States, and he came back, and he was losing his mind over this CD that he and his dad had bought. It was Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory.” And has been influenced ever since.

Their latest EP, Wake Up & It’s Over, showcases a blend of upbeat, angsty emo and emotional indie-rock tracks. “It’s not intentional, and it’s not specific,” Kabosu remarks about the blend of genres. The first track on the record, “Portrait of a Blank Slate,” was originally written by Gold as a way to distract people from COVID-19 and other recent disasters. “I tend to write about what I’m feeling, and what I know. I think life is just poetry happening. All around, I see it more as a reflection,” he says. The moody, dark bass introduction to the song sets up for the four-to-the-floor kick drum, riding the high hats, and intense cymbal thrashing in their chorus. “Call Me What You Like” discusses the eggshells in the beginning stages of a relationship, where both are unsure of their emotional commitment. With Gold’s poetic songwriting, painting pictures and imagery to allude to the true meaning of his words, the tracks show that Lovejoy have an ear for good melodies. “I think it’s just stuff that’s innate in us,” Kabosu elaborates. “Because it’s all that some of us listen to on a day-by-day basis.”

Yet, only two months before the release of Wake Up & It’s Over, Lovejoy released a record under the alias Anvil Cat. The EP, which featured rerecordings of songs off 2021’s Are You Alright?, was a forewarning, juxtaposing, the quiet, delicate nature of Anvil Cat’s EP and the crash and bang of their upcoming project. “At the time, we were about to release our third EP,” Kabosu explains. “We were building anticipation for that and getting people excited, teasing bits here and there. I felt like it would be a weird step to drop an acoustic EP.” But it was beyond just that acoustic EP — it’s for the future. “It’s nice for us to have this additional moniker, which is a separate entity, where if we wanted to try something a little bit different or make acoustic songs, we can put it over there,” he adds.

The relationship the band held with their fans was once considered unheard of. Consistently reaching out and engaging with their fanbase, realizing the power of their fanbase’s “clever” and “quick” intelligence and passion, and rewarding them with puzzles and QR codes — it’s all there if the fans choose. Anvil Cat’s acoustic EP is just an extension of that. “It’s for the people who are die-hard fans and really want to hear everything we do. It’s there for them,” Kabosu says. In modern times, that kind of friendly, open relationship between artists and their fans is common — something that was unachievable 20 years ago.

With a dedicated legion of fans already stacked in Lovejoy’s corner, developing during the midst of the pandemic, they’re barreling toward a future full of investigative fan interactions and shows around the world. COVID tested the band, and now, the positive outcome is touring the world.

[honeybeejam]

be my mistake: lorenzo berkshire x reader

pairing: guitarist!lorenzo berkshire x gn!hufflepuff!reader, drummer!ex!mattheo riddle x reader

reader’s physical body is never described! there are a few slightly feminine leaning nicknames

synopsis: cruciatus' lead singer ends their relationship with drummer mattheo riddle. In a moment of desperation, the hufflepuff ends up crashing into none other than their best friend (and guitarist) lorenzo berkshire.

warnings: language, 18+, MDNI, smut, praise kink, penetration, m orgasm, reader orgasm, dom! enzo, slight exhibitionism

word count: 2.5k

part of the cruciatus au: nihilist! ep (masterlist coming soon)

“save all the jokes you’re going to make

while i see how much drink i can take

then be my mistake.”

It took six excruciatingly painful days to leave the Hufflepuff dormitories. Susan Bones was the only living soul to see your swollen eyes and tangled hair. She stopped by to drop off meals, water, and occasionally a box of jellybeans or a Dreamless Sleep Potion for comfort. She told you that the Slytherin table was unusually silent at meals and that she hadn’t seen Riddle at all: but it still seemed too soon to leave the comfort of your bed. Too vulnerable.

Rehearsal had gone on without you (with Pansy on vocals for the time being). Cruciatus didn’t have any scheduled performances until the silly Muggle love holiday, so it didn’t really bother the rest of the band. Besides, Pansy told them that you write better lyrics under pressure. The boys were looking to release a new album at the same performance. Perhaps the breakup would be a blessing in disguise.

You, of course, hadn’t written a single thing. You longed to be void of emotion, to enter a state of numbness where those molasses eyes didn’t haunt every beat of your heart. Every breath ached with the phantom pain of bruised ribs - it was more likely pain from heaving. Susan took to turning in your schoolwork when you had the energy to complete it. Being two weeks ahead in every subject had its perks in the long run. Your tear-stained parchment assignments were on par with your grades, but that didn’t mean it was easy.

Venturing into the Hufflepuff Common Room proved a more daunting task than originally anticipated due to the nerves. You only needed to make it to the kitchens. Winky promised a favor last time you comforted her, and you hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days. A quick sprint from the barrels to the portrait of the ticklish pear leaves you vulnerable from all directions, but the hall seemed empty.

Worth the risk, you mused and broke out into a run.

A flash of green. A pained hiss. Two large hands around your waist, and then a familiar groan. Your head hit something firm but comfortable as you let out an abnormally high-pitched squeak. When everything stopped moving, you moved to a sitting position on your fall-breaker, wincing as you saw the familiar deep brown of his eyes and the pain painted across his features.

“Oh, Enzo! I am so so sorry, Merlin’s sake!” you gasped out, scrambling off of him and standing up as you reached out to assess the damage to his head. Your fingers threaded through his silky hair to spot a bump, only pausing when he let out a sigh.

“You’re alright, love. I should be the one apologizing. Now, I need to get off the ground before the others leave the Great Hall. I told them I was too busy to rehearse tonight.” He pushed himself up onto his elbows, accepting your now extended hand. He paused for a moment.

“Would you like to come to the dorms? It would do you well to have some company, and you know we get our own rooms. You could make sure I’m not concussed as well, darling.” He brushed the debris off of his slacks and smiled at you gently.

You pushed aside any feelings of guilt. You no longer “belonged” to Mattheo Riddle. You had every right to spend time with a mutual friend. Especially a mutual band member.

“Sure,” you replied apprehensively, relaxing when you remembered that the others were gone. He grabbed your wrist with ease and led you down the staircase.

Enzo weaved through the crowded Slytherin common room, shooting a glare to anyone who stared a little too hard. It was comforting to see Enzo act protective, since he was such an easygoing person most of the time. He never failed to make you laugh. You wrapped your arms around your center further, ignoring the concern etched into the creases of his glowing skin.

Once you were seated on his four poster, he asked you the long awaited question.

“How are you?”

“That obvious, Enz?” You replied, sighing and spreading out to cover his mattress with every part of your body. “I’m bloody miserable. If Susan reminds me of Slughorn’s essay one more time I might transfigure myself into a giant squid and take over terrorizing the Black Lake. I don’t give a rat’s ass what my Amortentia smells like. Not to mention, I couldn’t write a lyric if I read it from a textbook. I’m supposed to be writing songs about love!” The mattress creaked under your dramatic flailing and created a cacophonous sound. It sounded familiar to how you felt.

“I think you need a nightcap, darling.” Enzo reached under his mattress, coming up with a nearly full bottle of Firewhiskey. “Nott said you haven’t talked to anyone, even Pansy. We know you haven’t been in the Room of Requirement because we practice there, and Susan Bones won’t speak to me. I know you two aren’t together, but what happened?” He passed you the bottle with a grin.

You briefly lifted your head to take a drink, leaning back again as the alcohol burned your throat. You grimaced.

Enzo’s golden brown eyes lit up with pride. “Good job, darling. The first one is always the most difficult. Now tell me.”

A warm feeling crept up from the base of your neck to the tips of your ears, spreading to your chest and causing you to stutter.

“I-uh. I was tired of a-always being - fuck. I was tired of always being.. second choice. He had his toys and his, uh, escapades with you guys. I never got that freedom.”

“Escapades? I don’t recall any escapades.” That head tilt was adorable. Enzo reminded you of a confused puppy.

You sat up fully and took another burning sip of the golden liquid, pausing as it slid down your throat. “Mattheo grew up that beautiful, Enz. Everybody wonders what it’d be like to love him. He must’ve been curious about the other people here. And they’re all practically throwing themselves at him. Something about drummers, I guess.” You automatically assumed he was a cheat. A liar. It was in his blood, was it not?

“I was always jealous of him, you know.”

“To feel so wanted, so seen? I can’t imagine it’s easy. It’s all lust. I’d take that over having his father any day, though,” you babbled to fill the silence, not expecting to be interrupted.

“I was jealous because he had you.”

Oh. You chose to remain quiet at that, waiting for him to speak up again.

“I think I was angry because Riddle never considered how lucky he was,” Enzo said quietly. “That git lost something special.”

You scoffed at that, hiding behind the bottle in your hands as defense.

“Hilarious, Lorenzo. Save the jokes though, please?”

“I’m not joking.” He grabbed your chin, tilting it up as he took the bottle out of your hands. He placed it up to your mouth, tipping it to encourage you to drink. You did, stopping after a few gulps to hiccup violently. You giggled at yourself and looked to Enzo for a reaction. He seemed dazed, distracted almost. Then he spoke quickly, like he was trying to push something out of his mind.

“Let’s fuck things up.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Riddle fucked up the friend group, so let’s make it worse. Be my mistake, darling.”

You took another drink. It couldn’t hurt. It could destroy several friendships and relationships. It would definitely tear the band apart. It was irrational, irresponsible. Childish, even.

In the moment, though, Lorenzo Berkshire had never looked more enticing. You decided to test the waters.

“He’s always so busy, Enz. I get so lonely.” You looked up at him through your eyelashes, tears threatening to spill. “His eyes were always so dark and so empty. I never knew what he was feeling. I just wanted him to want me.” Honesty, vulnerability. You trusted Enzo with everything, and he held that trust close to his heart.

“I want you,” he whispered, looking at you with those same glazed over eyes.

“I need you,” you whispered back. He watched you set down the bottle of Firewhiskey.

“Nox.” The room went dark, and you felt a hand on the small of your back. He used his other hand to grasp the back of your neck, guiding your lips toward his.

You hummed with content at the feeling of his plush lips, hearing him harmonize with a deeper groan as he broke away to breathe. He pressed on your chest lightly to encourage you to lie down.

⚠️ smut below

“So pretty, little songbird. Look at you, all cute and needy,” he placed his hand on your cheek, cupping lightly. “Open.”

As if you were locked in a trance, your lips parted. Your tongue slid out to catch his pointer and middle finger, swirling around the digits. You bobbed your head slightly, watching his smile brighten and the tips of his ears turn red. Even with his fingers in your mouth, he was still nervous.

“I have you baby,” he spoke gently as you tried to get his attention. His fingers left your mouth with a ‘pop’. He traced them down your chin and past your neck to your collar. His arms lifted to gently push your sleeves aside.

Lorenzo laughed at your squirming figure below him. If he were truly a bad person, your scantily clad image would already be in Mattheo’s text messages. Not only was Lorenzo a good person, he was also a possessive person. And Mattheo had forfeited the gentle Hufflepuff as soon as she had ended things. “I would show you off, you know. You deserve that.” He helped you remove the rest of your outfit, leaving you in underwear. You tugged at his shirt needily, breathing heavy. He chuckled. “Can I make you feel good?”

You could only respond with frantic nods, beginning to get frustrated at his amused expression. He traced his long fingers along your waist, stopping to push and pull fabric until your lower half was exposed. The dark green bedsheets below you had deepened several shades, and your face followed suit.

“Out of breath, pretty baby? … This early? It’s okay, I’m gonna take care of you. You’re so wet for me.”

He quickly removed his shirt and dived back in to you, pulling your underwear past your ankles. He traced his fingers back up your calves and thighs, his breath hitting your lower stomach.

You were more of a lyricist than a musician. Although you could play a few instruments, Draco and Theo had melodies pouring from their wands with ease.

You think, however, that a song about pure bliss would feel like this moment.

Nothing but the sound of you panting as your best friend plays you like his guitar. Every twitch of his fingers made your breath halt for a moment.

“All mine. I’m gonna treat you so well, show you off to everyone.” He whispered into your skin. “Make you moan my name so loud that you can’t go on stage.”

You whimpered desperately, bucking your hips up toward him. He finally gave in. You felt the pressure of his tongue as you closed your eyes, stars exploding in your vision. You lost control of your voice, blacking out slightly.

When you came down from your high, you noticed a heavy feeling on your tongue. Although slightly dazed from cumming so hard, you could still tell what it was. You felt Lorenzo push his cock further into your mouth. You looked up at him sweetly, compliantly. If he made you feel so good, it was only fair that you returned the favor. He fucked your throat gently, careful not to hurt you. He might have deemed you his toy, but you couldn’t afford to lose your voice.

“Look at you, all cock drunk. Gonna write a song about how much better I fuck your throat than your little drummer boyfriend?” He stilled at the vibrations from your moans, feeling you twitch beneath him. He pulled his cock out of your throat and positioned himself above you.

“Look at me, Y/N.” You met his syrupy sweet eyes. “Can you tell me what you need from me, darling?”

“Need you to fuck me, Enz,” you replied immediately. “Wanna feel you inside me, want you to fuck some good ideas into my head.”

That was all he needed to push into you with force, letting out a loud and drawn out moan as he bottomed out. He took hold of your hands as he began to thrust.

“So good,” He gripped both sides of your waist firmly as he fucked into you, lifting your hips into the air. You felt yourself slipping again. He never let up pace as you approached climax. He was practically manhandling you as he pulled your hips back repeatedly, watching your eyes roll back. You could never get there by yourself, but by some divine power, Lorenzo Berkshire had you screaming and jerking violently. You felt him shudder as he slowed to a stop, his own release spilling into you. He let you ride out your orgasm before he dropped you onto the bed, curling up to you and wrapping him arms around your limp figure. He faced you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“You did so good for me.” He watched you smile lazily, barely noticing footsteps until the doorknob was twisting and he was whispering the Disillusionment Charm on your body shoved under the duvet.

Mattheo and Theo walked into the dorm, both clearly intoxicated. They walked over to the opposite side of the room in search of something. If they noticed Enzo at all, they didn’t acknowledge it.

You pressed a kiss to Enzo’s inner thigh, listening to his breathing change as you brought your mouth closer to him.

Mistakes were more fun than you thought.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Champion of the World **^

Part 2 of Music Producer! Harry blurb as requested in the notes by @totodiamond :) I just did a proper one shot for it.

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), fingering, sex, mentions of death and loss, cheating.

WC: 9k

LAST WARNING... If you haven't read the BLURB first you can do so here.

The reception of Y/N’s band’s new album was expected to be pretty promising. Granted, their music wasn’t “mainstream”, but Harry had insisted that they have 2 singles on the album to get them more on the radar and well, it had worked. Their second single had a more indie-pop feel and swept the nation thanks to a TikTok posted by their label. Because of it’s popularity it really helped hype up the anticipation for their album release and it was projected to do really well. They were also projecting that the second single would be the “song of the summer”. And well, they would start to tour in August so they would be busy from August until next May. 

The topic of tour seemed to be the most frequently asked question as she navigated through the room at the album’s launch party. This was their first headlining tour, they had opened on a few tours for several shows with their EP and first album, but this was the big one. Their self-titled album. Because this is how they made a name for themselves. It was a lot to take in and the more people asked the more overwhelmed Y/N felt. There were people everywhere and she was slowly starting to get anxious and she just needed a little break so she headed outside to catch some fresh air. When she got out there someone was smoking off to the side and the scent just called to her. She hadn’t smoked in years, but she was feeling nostalgic, so she went up to him and bummed a cigarette off of him before the man headed inside. She had just taken her first drag and it felt so familiar that she smiled to herself.

“Seriously?” She heard and immediately recognized the voice and turned to her right to see Harry walking over to her with a disbelieving smirk on his face. She was partially hidden behind a giant palm planter for this very reason, she didn’t want a scolding from anyone about her smoking. She knew cigarettes were gross and bad for you, but she was feeling nostalgic when the scent reached her nose and she gave in just this once.

“I know, I know…but I haven’t smoked in maybe 4 years, it’s just this once. Don’t narc me out to Richard.” She said to Harry of their manager as he stopped before her, still smirking.

“Gimme that.” He said extending his hand to her and she frowned.

“Fine. Just one more though.” She said to him and he laughed softly.

“Relax, I’m not gonna put it out. Nor will I narc you out.” He said to her lowly and she smiled at him as she passed it on over, “D’you mind?” He asked as he raised it to his mouth and she shook her head.

“Go for it.” She assured and he proceeded to put the filter between his lips and inhaled for a few seconds before letting the smoke flow out from between his slightly parted lips as he exhaled.

“Wow, I haven’t smoked in ages either.” He said to her with a smile, “It’s as awful and comforting as I remember.” He added and she chuckled.

“Yeah…” she agreed.

“I promised myself I’d never do that again…thanks.” He joked and she shrugged.

“I’m sorry for tempting you. I’ve heard that I tend to bring out the worst in people…” she apologized with a half smile on her face.

“No you don’t.” He shook his head, “You bring out the wild side in people, but it’s only because you’re so effortlessly cool and yourself. Like people want to impress you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” He said and she smiled.

“Is that what this was? You trying to impress me?” She teased him.

“No, I have some dignity.” He countered with a grin and she laughed loudly as he chuckled, “Nah, I saw you walk out in a bit of a rush and just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He explained, “So are you alright?”

“Yeah, it just got a little overstimulating in there. Too many lights and voices and questioned and smells…it was a lot.” She said and he hummed as he took another drag before handing the cigarette back and she immediately took a drag.

“Oh, the shitty parts of acquiring fame…”

“Yeah.” She giggled as the smoke billowed out of her mouth. He started at her lips for a few seconds as she glanced off somewhere else. Her lips were slightly swollen and looked so smooth and juicy from whatever product she had on them. He’d been dying to kiss her for months, but he didn’t want to start anything with her while they were actively involved in a professional relationship. 

“Are you excited for the tour?” He asked after a few beats of silence. And she wasn’t annoyed when he asked about it, but maybe it’s because it was him.

“Yeah, we already start rehearsals next week! I think we need to re-work the setlist though…but we’ll see once we run the full show through.”

“Are you guys rehearsing here?”

“Yeah, we’ll stay in LA.” She confirmed, “What’s next for you?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve got a couple offers on the table for different gigs, just not sure what to choose.” He confessed and she hummed.

“Well which one has you most excited?” She asked and he bit his lip pensively.

“Ummm…I’ve been approached to compose for an indie film…” he said and she gasped in surprise.

“Oh? That’s so cool, Harry!”

“Yeah.” He smiled, “I haven’t really done any original compositions since…maybe grad school?” He said with a questioning expression, “So it’s not out of my skillset, but I’m definitely out of my depth and out of practice. I’m sure I’m rusty, but it’s something different than what I’ve been doing the last few years, you know? So it seems the most exciting and challenging.”

“Yeah. That’s really sick. What’s the storyline? If I can ask.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, ummm, it’s one of those dystopian love stories…so like the world’s gonna end in a few weeks and we’re all gonna die and it’s about like making peace with yourself and living in the moment, finding the beauty in the tragedy…that kind of thing. I really liked the script, it’s so realistic and well written. I’ve even considered going for one of the lead roles.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Oh? Acting too?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled timidly.

“Well aren’t you multitalented!” She smiled as he smiled bashfully, “Well, it sounds really cool, definitely sounds like something I’d watch. If only to hear your compositions.” She said and he smiled.

“Hey, if I say yes maybe you can sing on a track.” He suggested and she smiled.

“Yeah, I’d be down.” She assured as she flicked the ash off of her cigarette before taking another drag and exhaling, “Do you want another?”

“Yeah, last one.” He said and she chuckled as she passed it over to him. Once he took his drag he held it out to her.

“I’m good. You can kill it or…kill it.” She said and he smiled as he stepped over to the little ashtray over the garbage bin and extinguished what was left of the cigarette before stepping back over to her.

“So, should I keep myself open for your next album or has the illusion of having me produce your albums died?” He asked with a grin and Y/N laughed aloud at his question before biting down on her lip to suppress a smile.

“Ummm, I’d say keep yourself open…I think I need to give you a fair shot.”

“Oh… OK.” He smiled contently, “Good. I’ve got some really great ideas for some of the songs we cut from this album that can help kind of establish your sound for the next one.” He said.

“Geez…already? Everything moves so fast here.”

“You’re definitely not in Kansas anymore…” he smiled at her and she rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t roll your eyes, you know you want to laugh.” He said to her and she finally did but shook her head.

“I’m not even from Kansas! I just went to school there!”

“Yeah, but the rest of your band is, and it was formed there, so whether you like it or not, you’re now from Kansas - well according to Wikipedia you are - so the joke works.” He said smugly.

“You wikipedia-ed me?”

“Well, I wiki-ed the band before I agreed to work with you guys. You’ve seriously never googled anything about me?” He asked her incredulously.

“Eh, kind of…I mean, I googled narcissistic personality disorder, to see if you met the criteria for it…” she said and he laughed loudly and she smirked, “When I realized that I was reaching, I googled your birthday and discovered you’re an Aquarius, and well…that explained a lot. Like how you’re so great at your job but also a control freak and kind of a dick.” She teased and he shook his head.

“I see how it is…” he hummed in mock offense and she reached out for his arm, her hand rested against his bicep.

“I don’t think that of you anymore, just to clarify. It was before when I was still mad at you. I’m sorry. You’re perfectly normal according to the DSM-5.” She assured giving him a small, reassuring squeeze and he grinned.

“Yeah, thank you for stating the obvious.” He chuckled as her hand started to slip away from him and he grabbed it in his, which made her look up into his eyes. Her heart rate starting speeding up as her eyes met his own before he glanced down at her hand, “This is nice.” He said to her as his thumb grazed over the sunburst ring on her middle finger. She looked down as well and felt her tummy flutter at his innocent, but very intimate gesture.

“Thank you. My sister gave it to me.” She replied, her hand still in his. He hadn’t made a move to let go and she hadn’t made a move to pull her hand away from his either, so their eyes met again as their hands came down, still connected by their middle fingers being hooked together. The tension and electricity buzzing between them was extremely obvious.

“It’s gonna be weird not seeing you guys every day.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Yeah…everyone’ll miss you, if that’s any consolation.” She said with a small smile and he smiled down at the ground and asked his question before he could talk himself out of it.

“What about you? Are you gonna miss me too?” He inquired before looking back into her eyes and she smiled bashfully.

“Gee, I don’t know…what do you think?” She asked playfully and he chuckled.

“I mean can you blame me for asking? Your messages and feelings towards me are kind of hard to read.” He said and she hummed as she bit her lip pensively and then glanced up to his eyes before placing her hands on chest and tiptoeing to graze her lips over his. Her eyes flickered up to his.

“Does this clear things up for you?” She asked with a soft smile and he smirked.

“Ummm, it’s still a little murky.” He teased.

“Oh yeah?” she responded quietly and he hummed teasingly, “Let me make it clearer then.” She whispered before pressing her lips to his. His hands immediately found their place at her waist as hers slithered up to loop around his neck. Their soft and playful kisses soon turned into languid and hungrier kisses as the seconds passed them by in their dark little hiding place.

Harry now had Y/N up against the wall with one hand around the back of her neck and the other against the wall as he sank his teeth into her bottom lip before sliding his tongue in against her own. Her beautiful, breathy moan made his ears perk up and ring. It was such a beautiful and sensual sound, he wanted to put it on a track; layer it in somewhere and commemorate it as the beautiful and artistic sound it was. Her index fingers were hooked into his trouser’s belt loops, keeping him as physically close as she could. She wanted to disappear into the night with him and see where they ended up. The tension between them had been building for months and well, they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks after they finished production on the album, so she assumed that the tension would dissipate with time. But she was discovering that hadn’t affected her longing for him, not even a little bit. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked her quietly, and admittedly with a smidge of uncertainty, as his nose skimmed down the length of hers in a delicate and playful gesture.

“Yeah.” She whispered and nodded her head in a double confirmation to him that she wanted to be alone with him.

“Alright.” He smiled against her mouth and she smiled as well before he grabbed her hand and pulled her around the building towards where he parked. He was given a spot right out back instead of having to valet, which would be a waste of precious time with her. So they hurried around to the back and they got inside and took off. He was in his classic, white Mercedes with the top down, so when they were leaving, they were inevitably papped. And as much as she tried to keep her head down to avoid being recognized as the woman in his car any comparison in outfit would easily prove that she had in fact left her own launch party with Harry, her producer.

“God, they’re everywhere!” Y/N griped as they finally got on the main street and were stopped at the traffic light.

“And there’s more.” He said to her as he cocked his head to the people who had followed them on the sidewalk up to the light and were snapping pictures of them in the car.

“Jesus.” She huffed.

“Wait, where’s your stuff?”

“Oh I didn’t bring anything with me, just myself.”

“Not even your wallet or phone?”

“No, I mean, food and drink were provided and every person that I would be texting was there tonight.”

“Richard forbid you from bringing your phone, didn’t he?” Harry asked with a smirk and she sighed.

“OK, yes, he did…he said something about me sulking in the corner all the time or whatever.”

“You do look very unapproachable when you’re on your phone. You’ve got this like…broody, angry face going on.” He said trying to mimic it and she laughed loudly before they took off as the light turned green.

“That’s not my angry face, if anyone should be familiar with my angry face it’s you.” She reminded and he chuckled, “S’my concentration face. Like sometimes I get ideas and I start writing them in my notes or other times I’m reading a book or an article and it’s like so loud that it takes extra willingness to concentrate.” She explained and he smiled at her.

“Well maybe don’t read at parties.” He suggested and she glanced at him incredulously.

“If I don’t read at parties how will I maintain my reputation as mysterious and elusive, Harry?” She asked jokingly and he grinned.

“You’re so annoying.” He muttered as she giggled beside him.

“So where are we going?” She finally asked and he turned to her.

“Ummm, wherever you want to go.” He shrugged and she hummed pensively.

“Take me to…a place that means a lot to you.” She said and he chuckled.

“Here?!” He asked and she nodded, “God...this is my home, tons of places mean a lot to me.” He chuckled as he thought about it, “OK, I’ve got it. Hang on!” He warned with a big smile as he sped up and just made it onto the 405-S ramp. 

Y/N’s hair was whipping back with the wind as they sped down the freeway. He was blasting Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac which made her feel like she was the main character because before he played it he said it was dedicated to her elusiveness and mysteriousness, which she appreciated. Soon he was signaling to get off on La Cienega and as they continued driving down the street she saw the giant Randy’s Donut donut and she gasped.

“You know, I’ve  never actually been here before! Is this where we’re going?” She asked happily and he chuckled.

“It’s not, but we can stop if you want?”

“It’s alright.”

“You sounded so excited, like you wanted to stop. So I’m gonna stop.” He said as he started to slow down as they approached the entrance and she smiled at him.

“Well, if you insist…” she hummed and he chuckled. They found a spot to park and walked over to the window. It was 10pm but there were still a few people in line waiting to be served.  “What do you get?” She asked him.

“Usually the maple raised, wheat and honey cake, or the red velvet one if I’m feeling particularly fancy.” He said to her and she smiled.

“That does sound good…” she said as she peeked around a few people to get a better look at the menu displayed on a big screen inside. “They have a fruity pebbles one.” She gasped.

“Such a child.” He joked.

“I didn’t say I was going to get it. Fruity pebbles are just super nostalgic and they smell amazing.” She defended.

“That’s true, they do smell divine…”

“Oh, they have blueberry…that’s it. That’s the one I want.”

“OK.” He chuckled. 

As they stood in line Harry couldn’t help but notice that a few guys in the other line were ogling her a bit too much for his liking. They were obviously young since they were being obnoxious and loud, trying to get her to turn around, but she didn’t seem to be taking the bait. He leaned in closer to her and grabbed her hand, which caught her by surprise and she glanced up to him and he smiled down at her. 

“Is this OK?” He asked her lowly and she nodded as she scooted a little closer to him as a light breeze blew over them and made her shiver. She was in a thin little party dress and her platform boots and the night was only getting colder, they were due for more rain over the weekend. He wasn’t even wearing a jacket he could offer her so he just pulled her in front of him and hugged around her waist. He couldn’t help but smile as her hands came up to his and she slotted her fingers in between his. She smiled as his warmth pressed into her back  and she just leaned her weight back on him. He leaned down a bit to reach her ear before he spoke, “That’s what I mean when I said people are always trying to impress you.” He said quietly and her body shook with a giggle.

“How is being obnoxious impressive?”

“I literally have no idea.” He chuckled as they moved up in the line.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt.” They heard from beside them and turned to see a younger girl and her friend standing a few feet away, “We really like your album.” One of the girls said with a nervous smile.

“Oh! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.” Y/N smiled happily, but she kept her voice down as Harry let her go so she could talk to the girls who started gushing about how pretty she looked. Which they were right, she looked beautiful. 

Well, to Harry she always did, but she did just a little bit more when she had events and things to do. Often times he felt that when people did themselves up for events they went so overboard that they barely even looked like themselves, but not Y/N. She had mastered this effortless look that proved that a little goes a long way; she was almost ethereal. He liked that she didn’t care to hire a glam team to turn her into another Hollywood starlet clone; she and the rest of the band did most of their looks themselves. He recalls that at the BRITS earlier in the year she was crammed between him and Kassie, smearing some eyeshadow onto her eyelids and getting on her mascara just minutes before they would have to walk the carpet. Witnessing that made him like her even more. That was what drew him to them in the first place, their authenticity, and well if anyone was a champion of unapologetically being your authentic self it was her. She made everyone feel good about exactly who they were and he loved that about her.

“Harry, would you mind taking a picture for us?” She asked him and he shook his head.

“Course not.” He smiled as one of the girls handed over her phone to him. He took several and then handed it back.

“Can we get one with both of you too? You’re like a total icon.” The girl said to Harry and he shook his head bashfully.

“Hardly.” He said to her humbly as Y/N asked the person ahead of them to take their picture. After they got a few pictures the girls said their goodbyes and got back into the line. As soon as she and Harry stepped up he boxed her in between his body and the counter. “Hi, can I get a blueberry cake, red velvet cake, and a…large? Crewneck?” He said to the woman at the window and she nodded.

“What color for the crewneck? We have gray and navy blue.” She said.

“What color?” He asked Y/N softly and she glanced between him and the cashier.

“Oh! For me?”

“Yeah, you’re shivering and I don’t have anything in my car.” He said to her and she smiled at him.

“Ummm, I’ll get the gray one.” She said to the woman who nodded and then gave them the total before rushing off to grab their stuff. “I’m paying you back.”

“Absolutely not. This is your first time here, so think of it as a commemoration gift.” He said to her and she shook her head. “And if you ever try to pay me back I will return it to you in pennies.” He said and she laughed as she shook her head.

“You’re something else.”

“I know, love. I know.” He hummed.

“Here you are!” The woman said as she returned with the sweater and a baggy with their donuts.

“Thank you!” He and Y/N said simultaneously before walking off to the side. “Gimme these.” Harry said grabbing the donuts from Y/N and he gripped the bag between his teeth as he helped pull the crewneck over her head as she got her arms into the sleeves. Yes, it was oversized on her, but crewnecks were meant to be baggy, they just were. It was a bit long as well, it was a bit shorter on her than the dress she was wearing and it made him wonder what she’d look like in his own clothes. He liked wearing oversized things just as much as everyone else, so he’d imagine that she’d look absolutely swallowed and adorable in his hoodies. They walked back to his car hand in hand before they each had to get into their own sides and as they sat down she turned to him.

“I have to tell you something.” She said and he looked a little bit concerned but nodded, indicating for her to go on. “I really, really love that you don’t open the car door for me.�� He looked at her with narrowed eyes, “I swear I’m not being a smart ass or sarcastic. Like when guys do that it just…bothers me because like…. I have functioning arms, you know? Like I can do that myself, I don’t need help! And it’s not like one of those general polite things, like holding the door open for someone who’s behind you! Like that makes sense, because it’s more than one person coming through the door! But in the car only one person can get into the passenger side so why does someone else even think to touch my door?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I can see you’re very passionate about this.” He grinned and she sighed and nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I am…for some weird reason. It’s just relieving and it just might be by favorite thing about you.” She decided and he grinned.

“Seriously? My unwillingness to participate in benevolent sexism is your favorite thing about me?” He asked for clarification and she smiled.

“Yes.” 

“It can’t be anything else?” He asked and she rolled her eyes up as she hummed pensively.

“Mmmm… no. That’s it.” She confirmed and he chuckled.

“I’ll check again at the end of the night if that’s your favorite thing about me.” He said smugly and she turned to him with a grin.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What are you insinuating?” She questioned and he smirked.

“You’ll see…” he hummed as he started the car and they took off. They only drove a few more minutes before Y/N saw the Sizzler’s on her left and then the Forum right up ahead. “Oh…interesting.” She said and he smiled at her.

“Yeah.” He said to her and she hummed, really anxious now to see why this particular place meant a lot to him. They kept driving straight and went around the back of the lot and he wheeled to a stop. It was desolate tonight, which was rare. He put the car in park and she turned to him and he smiled.

“So when I was 14 we came here on a family vacation. Like my parents and sister and aunt and uncle cousins…I’m the baby of the family by the way.” He disclosed and she smiled as he shared this, “So…my oldest cousin discovered that Coldplay had a show and he’d missed their show in England and he wanted to go. My sister was also a fan and I mean, I was too.”

“Yeah, it’s Coldplay!” Y/N said and he chuckled.

“Exactly! So my cousin convinced the adults to let us get tickets, they didn’t want to bring me along because I was the youngest, but I wanted to go. Anyway, saw Coldplay, my first concert ever.” He said and she smiled, “And afterwards we were waiting to get picked up, but my stepdad got lost and ended up going another way so we were just hanging out, right over there because it was well lit.” He pointed to where the trailers and trucks were usually set up, “My cousin and sister went up to see the merch and I just waited there, with my other cousin like they told me to.” He recalled, “And then out of nowhere a couple girls started panicking and Chris and Will walk on over to say hello.”

“No way!” Y/N giggled with surprise and he nodded.

“Yeah! And he was so kind to everyone. I didn’t have anything with me to get a photo or an autograph. But I was the only child there so he gravitated my way, asked where I was from and he was happy to hear that we were from England. And me being the brazen kid I was, I told him I also sang and wanted to start a band with my friends from school, like they did. And he told me that he was rooting for me, to believe in my music, and to never give up on my music. And…so I never did.” He finished his story and she was smiling so brightly. His story was so wholesome it made her eyes well up, that was so beautiful! What an experience to have with someone.

“That’s so amazing, Harry. Like so fucking cool!” She said with excitement and he hummed and nodded.

“I got really lucky that night.” He said softly “And well, whenever I get stuck or feel insecure or like I’m losing my touch I come here and it reminds me to never give up on my music. To continue believing in myself…so that’s why this place means a lot to me.”

“And well, you’ve produced for Coldplay now. Did he remember you?” She asked and he chuckled.

“He kind of did, mostly because I was a British child at one of their LA shows.” He said as they laughed softly, “He didn’t remember what we had spoken about or anything specific. And I did tell him and thank him because, if he hadn’t said that to me I’d definitely be in a whole other world, you know? It was cool and so fucking unreal for someone like me to have that full circle moment that so many people never get.” He expressed and she nodded, “And you know, those of us that get to spend our lives drowning in our passion, making art, literally getting paid to live and experience the best life has to offer just so that we can commemorate it with our art…like we’re so fortunate and so fucking lucky. It’s hard to remember that sometimes with the dark sides of this industry or even just the fame. But this is the best thing that will ever happen to you, Y/N. And what you do now that you have this platform matters more than ever. And that’s why I like you and the band, you guys are so down to earth, you’re in it for the art, you’re in it to have fun, you’re all so genuine and yourselves…never change that. Because as long as you stay in tune with yourself, even when you get stuck or feel like giving up, you’ll find your way back.” He said with certainty. And as he looked back to her she was watching him intently and then nodded in understanding at what he’d just advised. “Sorry, that got super deep, super fast-”

“It’s alright. I mean, we were bound to get deep when I asked you to bring me someplace meaningful to you.” She said and he shrugged and smiled.

“True…”

“And I know that I’ve got this like look about me that screams “I learn on my own” and “I don’t care what anyone says”, but it’s just that, a look. I promise that after the whole thing with Dr. Auclair I started taking in and listening and considering everything you’ve said to me. So I just want you to know that I listened to what you’ve just said to me, and thank you because after feeling so overwhelmed by everything tonight I just… I really needed to hear that. And I’m not going to forget it.” She shared and he smiled as he reached for her hand she smiled as he slotted their fingers together. “H, hand me the aux.” she said and he grabbed his phone and gave it over and she turned the phone away from him to type something out and then she locked it before grabbing his hand again and second later “Champion of the World” started to play over the car’s speaker and he smiled down at his lap before turning his head to look at her.

“Nice one.” He said softly and she smiled brightly at him. She was in love with the way he was looking at her in this moment. Her smile slowly started to fade as she just took him in intently. She was memorizing the details of his perfectly sculpted face, memorizing the indecipherable feeling he was emitting through his eyes. Whatever it was, it was undoubtedly a good feeling. She started to lean in and he joined her in the middle as their lips met with blazing passion as these big, beautiful emotions surged through and between them. “Do…” he paused as his lips smashed into hers once more, “d’you wanna…go back t’mine?” He rushed out with his exhale before their lips met again. He felt her nod ‘yes’ but he wanted to hear her say it. He need to, so that he knew for a fact that he wasn’t imaging that Y/N, this marvelous and radiant person, wanted him too. “Hmmm?” He insisted.

“Yeah.” She mumbled, “Take me home.” She said quietly. It was so hard to tear away from her after she said that to him.

It was just a 20 minute drive to his house in the hills and the whole time they held hands. Once they got there they wasted no time in getting inside and to his bedroom. They were undressing on the way there. It was giggly and clumsy because for some reason she was leading while Harry called out directions to her, but her unfamiliarity with his space was showing as she bumped into things along the way. When she finally got to his room he picked her up from behind and flung her onto his bed. She shrieked as she landed on the mattress with a muted thump. Harry soon climbed over her and kissed her through his smile.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” He hummed into her lips and she smiled. “I can’t get over it.” He exhaled before they started making out again. 

Y/N whimpered as his erection rubbed over her dribbling pussy. Well, over her panties, but she was so sensitive that he might as well have been rubbing himself bare through her folds. A wave of warmth pulsed through her body as his lips moved down her neck. She arched her back as he started to snake his hands under to get her bra unclasped. He did so quickly and dexterously before pulled it away from her body and sucked her nipple into his mouth. She hummed with pleasure as the other was fondled with intent. He wasn’t being delicate with her and she loved that. 

“Oh fuck…” she chuckled as he bit down on her nipple for a few seconds before sucking it hard. She was so wet for him that she was squirming as her cunt throbbed and pulse with need, “Harry. Harry, please.” She keened as she tried to find his hips with her own, “Need you inside. I need to feel you so bad.” She muttered into the dark as he sucked his mark on her breasts.

“Need me, baby?” He asked her before continuing to kiss down her body.

“Yes. Yes, I need you so bad…fuck.” She groaned as he kissed over her clothed cunt. He patted her thigh and she lifted her bum and he dragged her panties down her legs as he kissed right over her clit before licking through her slit and flicking her little bud a few times. “Harry, fuck that’s so good!” She whimpered. His licks started getting heavier and languid, sloppier even. She could feel his stubble and mustache tickling her already hypersensitive pussy as he moved his head from side to side with intent. Y/N tangled her fingers in his hair as she thrusted up to his mouth, grinding herself against him. She noticed that he grew more whiny and vocal as she used him and tugged at his hair and it made her even more aroused.

“You like when I use you to get off?” She asked and his lips turned up in a smile as his eyes fluttered up to hers, “I’ll take that as a yes.” She hummed before biting her lip and moaning, “Fuck, that’s perfect!” She praised him as he sucked her clit, brushing his tongue over it each time he’d suck it in, “Fuck…” She sighed with a smile, “y’suck my clit so good.” She panted as her tummy tightened deliciously with pleasure, “You’re gonna make me come!” She whimpered and he moaned against her, causing her toes to curl as her walls started to pulse hard and fast as she vibrated from the inside out. “Oh fuck!” She shrieked as Harry sunk two fingers into her without a warning and started to fuck her in time with his sucks on her clit. Not slowing down for a moment as she started to come.

Her hips wriggled around and her back arched as she trembled as he pulled yet another orgasm out of her without even letting her come down form the first one. Her ears were ringing and she was covered in goosebumps as the waves of pleasure rippled through her. Finally he started to slow down and then gently eased his fingers out of her.

“Taste so good, baby.” He hummed against her mound before kissing and crawling back up to her mouth. As soon as he was within reach she crashed her mouth onto his.

“That was the best head…holy fucking shit. That thing you did with the sucking and the tongue?!” She expressed with a bewildered smile.

“Enough to update your favorite thing about me?” He asked with a grin and she hummed pensively.

“I think not.” She said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re such a turd.”

“Thank you.” She grinned and he chuckled. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I like still want to have sex with you. Like really badly.” She said and his eyes widened as he chuckled.

“Yeah, ummm, sorry I was just giving you a little break.” 

“I don’t take breaks.” She hummed as he leaned over to grab a condom from his bedside table.

“Well, good to know.” He smirked as he knelt up to get it on himself as she repositioned herself against his pillows. Watching him roll down the condom with lustful eyes and a kiss-bitten lip held down beneath her teeth. He was so fucking perfect that it was almost physically painful. And well, Y/N could admit that he was also perfect inside, like where it counted. She pressed herself to sit up and pushed herself up to pull his head down to meet him in a deep and searing kiss. He let himself fall into it and continued his task blindly. When he shifted above her she laid back down as he guided his cock down to her entrance where he gently prodded at her leaking and tight little hole a handful of times before he surged into her. His thick cock pushed her walls apart as he glided in, in one fluid motion.

“Harry!” She gasped, back arched and body tense as he plunged in to the hilt with very little resistance, “Mmmmm you’re so deep!” She whimpered lowly.

“S’that where you wanted to feel me, baby? Are you getting what you wanted? What you need from me?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes, Harry…” she sang breathily as he started to pulse his hips, his tip nudged into her g-spot over and over and over, her breath was hitching and her legs trembling.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing so hard…” he hummed in delight, “Come for me, baby. Cream on my cock.” He panted and she moaned loudly at his filthy words as she came undone. She was coming so hard, she’d never had an orgasm solely from having her g-spot stimulated, it was game changing. A pressure had formed inside of her that she had never felt before, but it was as he had said, that’s exactly where it ached for him and he was satiating that perfectly.

His thrusts slowed down as she settled from her orgasm, but he kept going, slow and deep, not really letting the entire feeling fade. Extending and milking the pleasure for her as far as humanly possible. And it was happening as he groaned and picked up his pace. When he started going he knocked his head back and grunted with each deep pump of his cock into her. She was so wet, the sounds of her arousal sopping her up for him were unreal, she’d never been that wet before. She was certain of it. 

“I’m so close. Getting so close.” He groaned lowly as his hips started to snap harder with each dip into her pussy. One of his hands slid up from her waist to her breast, kneading it and playing with it as he brought them both closer and closer to the final orgasm. She was a fucking goddess, he wanted to obsess over her until he had learned every single detail of who she was. “Fuck, rub your little clit. Want you to come with me.” He said and she immediately did as he said. Her orgasm started to build at double speed than before. She was quickly right on the edge with him, holding on just a little bit more, trying to get the most out of this moment together until their bodies demanded their climax. “Oh shit…oh…oh… fuuuuuck.” He grunted before he started to moan as his orgasm overcame him. His desperate thrusts and gorgeous sounds pushed her over the edge. The fact that he was vocal enhanced everything for her, it brought a feeling of pleasure to her that she’d never experienced. As they lay there in satisfaction, recovering from those incredible, earth shattering orgasms she spoke up.

“I like that you’re not shy with your sounds. It’s really attractive.” She hummed as she ran her finger nails down his arm that was draped over her body.

“You know, I usually am more of a heavy breathing kind of guy. But with you being how you are, I don’t know, I just felt like I didn’t have to hold anything I felt back.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…you can, do that with me, you know? For like anything you need…Not hold back I mean.” She added, “You can not “hold back” with me anytime and for anything.” She rephrased and he was just smirking as she tried to un-confuse herself. She only stopped when she felt his body shaking before he burst into laughter.

“I got what you meant the first time, baby.” He assured and she shook her head as she laughed. “And I want that for you too. To not hold back with me.”

“OK. I won’t.” She smiled as she confirmed this to him.

After that night everything between Y/N and Harry changed. Any rational human would think that falling in love after one night together was completely insane, but that’s exactly what had happened. The two spent time together every single day up until the day Y/N and her band left for tour. With his newfound time alone he decided to follow through with auditioning for that film he was asked to compose for and after a few nerve-racking weeks he’d found out he’d gotten the part. Obviously, Y/N was happy for him and they celebrated over FaceTime. But now that he had a new gig he needed to just take some time to get the compositions together. 

Harry worked diligently on the film score for three months. He only needed 4 pieces as there would be other songs weaved through out the film. And then it was off to filming. Filming was in Canada and that went on for 8 months. Y/N had been able to visit after the band’s tour ended, but it was just for two weeks as they were heading back into the studio soon. And just like that it had been a year apart. Because he was working on his film, he couldn’t produce their next album, though during their down time over the next holiday he did give it a listen and share some insights with her. And then the following March he got some bad news from back home about his father and he headed back for a few weeks. 

When he returned he was really upset about it, but he had solely come to break up with Y/N. His dad didn’t have very long apparently and he’d been away for so long that he decided that he needed to be there with him for as long as he could. He was going to look after him until the end. And well, Y/N completely understood why he wanted and needed to do that. It was sad, but amicable. And for the first few months they continued their routine of chatting regularly, but she soon discovered that it was just prolonging her pain. She wrote a song from it that she called “Good Grief”. It was about grieving the beautiful things, remembering them with love, and simultaneously talking about it being hard to let things like that go. That song launched them into an entirely new era and things took off for the band which ended up putting even more distance between the two. Harry also didn’t move back to LA, so they didn’t even have a chance to easily see each other and with each decision pulling them further apart they inevitably fell out of touch. 

It was three years after their break up now and the two were doing well. Y/N was about to be engaged. Well, she assumed she was. Her boyfriend, Riley had been extra odd all week and her friends and family were oddly unavailable so she was expecting it. Harry had just moved back to LA after all that time, he just needed a change of pace after looking after his dad for one year and then dealing with the aftermath of it all for the next few. He was excited to come back, reconnect with some old friends…and of course, talk to Y/N. He hadn’t moved on, he hadn’t loved anyone like he had loved her and he just wanted to be back in her life, in nay capacity. She was it for him, he knew that for certain.

It was a day like any other, except for one thing…she was craving a donut. But not just any donut, a red velvet donut from Randy’s. She knew it was completely ridiculous to be driving out to Inglewood at 4pm for a donut, but she was alone for the evening and had nothing better to do since apparently everyone in her life was mysteriously busy. She got in line for the drive thru and as she glanced out of her window absentmindedly she saw a very familiar face walking over to the back of the line. She smiled wide and her heart did flips and her stomach fluttered with butterflies at the sight of him. Of seeing him here of all places. Her mind went back to that night he brought her here. How perfectly wonderful that had been.

“Harry!” She shouted out the window and he glanced in her direction and his lips widened in a smile as he waved. “I’m gonna get out!” She shouted and he shot her a thumbs up and got out of the line to meet her where she parked. She rushed out of her car and straight into his arms. He hugged her tight and spun her around as they laughed and greeted each other with enthusiasm. “Wow! How insane to be running into you here!” 

“I know…” he shook his head.

“What brings you to LA?” She asked.

“I’m moving back actually. Just touched down and figured a little detour wouldn’t hurt.” He said and her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, that’s good. It’ll be nice to have you within reach.” She said with a smile and he nodded, “I’m sorry about everything with your dad. I wanted to call or something, but I didn’t know if I even had the right to since we haven’t talked in a long time.” She explained herself. 

“You always have a right, Y/N. Love of my life, remember?” He said and she smiled.

“Light of my life.” She said as she reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. 

They got their donuts and talked for a bit before they headed off. She waited a few days and this intense need to see him again didn’t go away. So she talked to the band about it, they knew each of them the best and well, they all agreed that maybe they needed a better form of closure. So she reached out to Harry and asked him if he wanted to go for lunch. And he accepted, which is what led them to their meet up at Seabird’s Kitchen.

“You look pretty.” He complimented her as he hugged her quickly.

“Thanks. I rushed over from a meeting I had this morning.”

“Ah, work attire.”

“Yeah.” She giggled, “So how are you settling in? Are you back at the old house?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Nah, got something smaller. Got rid of that place a few years back.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know.” She pouted, “So many amazing memories there.” She hummed and Harry nodded. 

“So what’s up?” He asked her and she sighed.

“Well…as you know, what we had together it was…magic. Literally heaven on earth.”

“We were pretty perfect weren’t we?” He smiled fondly and she nodded.

“Yeah…and ummmm, well I’ve never really been able to 100% move on because well…there were just a lot of things left unsaid because we kind of broke up and then you went back home. And I guess I just…didn’t want to talk to you about that when I knew that you were dealing with so much already.” She explained and he hummed. “I guess I just needed closure on a few things because…well, I ummm….” She swallowed thickly, she had no idea why she felt guilty saying this to him, but it just felt wrong to tell Harry this information, it didn’t make any sense, “I think I’m getting engaged really soon.” She said and his eyebrows shot up.

“Oh!” He said and quickly morphed his surprise into a smile instead of the frown that was clawing itself to the surface, “Congrats!” He smiled brightly. He knew that she had a boyfriend…but he doesn’t know why it never felt real to him. Maybe because he hadn’t heard it from her own two lips. Or perhaps because he was far away so it didn’t feel like a reality to him? Who knows, but reality hit him over the head with that one and he could feel his heart breaking over her once again.

“Thank you.” She forced her smile as best as she could. As she looked down at his hand she could very easily picture herself holding it in hers. She could see herself enjoying it and her heart warming as she pictured their fingers interlacing together. As if no time at all had ever passed. It made her feel afraid now as all of it started rushing back to her.

“Hey, are you alright?” Harry asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, I just got distracted.” She shook her head, “Ummm, well anyway I just wanted to I guess give us the proper goodbye we deserved.” She said and he nodded with a broken heart but he stayed for 3 hours, catching up, joking around, talking, reminiscing until it was time to go. Harry was walking Y/N to her car since she had parked quite far down the street. And when they got to her car she had him hop in so that she could give him a ride back to his car. And they hummed to her music playing from her phone as they made the short drive over, and soon they were just saying their goodbyes. He was hugging her over the console, mentally saying a different kind of goodbye to her that was making his heart wilt in his chest. They were about to pull back when “Champion of the World” started to play and she smiled as she relaxed in his hold before pulling back a bit, their foreheads pressing together and it felt like no time had passed at all.

“We’ve been here before.” He whispered and she hummed in confirmation as her eyes fluttered shut to give herself a moment. This was hurting far more than she expected it to. It felt like they were breaking up all over again and this time it was her choice and he was complacent in her decision. It felt wrong to be saying goodbye to each other twice. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna fall out of love with you.” He said softly and her eyes fluttered open and she slightly frowned as she looked from his eyes to his lips a couple of times before just doing what her intrusive thoughts had been telling her to do since he’d shown up this afternoon. She surged forward and slotted her lips against his. 

Harry didn’t hesitate to kiss back. One deep kiss led them to a stolen peck, then another, and then a deeper kiss, and more and more. It felt like they were kissing to makeup for the three years they hadn’t been able to kiss. There was still so much love between them, Y/N supposes it had just been dormant this entire time he was gone. And she had indeed missed how it felt to be completely and undeniably gone for someone. There wasn’t another thought running through her mind in that moment, so as they pulled away she knew that she was still in love with him. She had been this whole time.

“Fuck…sorry.” He whispered and she shook her head.

“I kissed you, so it’s alright. I’m sorry, if I kissed you and you didn’t want to kiss me.” She apologized.

“I’d never not want to kiss you.” He chuckled and she smiled with a heat in her cheeks from his flirtations. “Do you regret it yet?” He asked teasingly and she shook her head, but she wasn’t smiling. She was completely serious.

“I can’t regret anything that happens between us. It’s just a proper goodbye, yeah?” She said sadly and he nodded wordlessly.

“Hey, you better invite me to the wedding. Just because it’s not me, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there or that I’m not happy for you. OK?”

“OK.” She smiled and with that he got out and they went their separate ways.

She cried the entire way home and she felt completely heart broken. Like she had lost him all over again and she couldn’t be getting married to someone when she was in love with someone who wasn’t the person she was supposed to marry.  She was so absolutely confused and it was affecting her work horribly. They were in the middle of some writing sessions for their next album and she was not being even a little bit helpful. Her mind was elsewhere. And it was like that for two whole weeks and everyone was fed up with her. 

“Dude what is wrong with you?” Kassie asked her and she groaned.

“I don’t know…I’m really distracted.” She fibbed and everyone sighed, “I just…can’t do this today. Sorry, guys.” She said before gathering her things and heading out. When she got to her apartment Riley was there  making dinner and it made her heart sad that it wasn’t Harry.

“Hey, love!” He smiled and the smile faded as soon as he saw her face.

“Ummm, he’s back. And I asked to see him.” She said to Riley who sighed. He had been there through the entire break up, between her and Harry. At the time he was a session musician who’d been hired to play on one of their songs. But he was so nice and thoughtful. But he also knew the love that she and Harry shared for each other. In a way he always expected their paths to cross again, but he’d just hoped that it wouldn’t affect her. But he still did, in every way apparently.

“When are you seeing him?”

“It was two weeks ago.” She said and he nodded. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I was just hoping to get some closure on some stuff. But then I…I realized that I’m still in love with him. And I kissed him.” She confessed everything, “I’m really sorry.”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Riley said with disappointment.

“I know…I should’ve told you right away but I was trying to figure out what I should do.”

“There’s only one thing to do, Y/N. You said you’re in love with him.” Riley shook his head, “You know, I always knew this would happen some day.” He said lowly, “I was stupid for thinking you’d pick me though.” He said as he made his way towards the couch and grabbed his sweater and he furiously slipped into his sneakers, “Please, don’t call me when this all blows up in your face.” He said with spite before he slammed the door hard on his way out. 

She frowned, obviously she deserved that, but he was a good guy. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he just….wasn’t the love of her life. Maybe she was foolish for thinking that things could start back up with Harry. Well, it’d been a few years, they’d been through plenty of things on their own, it was safe to say that they were pretty different people now. But the way things felt were exactly the same, it wasn’t just nostalgia. Being with him made her feel alive and in control and like everything would be alright. She was a bit stuck with her next step, as she weighed out her options. She sighed and decided to take a drive to the place that always helped her think.

The sun was setting as she placed her hands on the white rails of the Forum parking lot. After Harry left she’d made it her special place to come think. He had given this place a new meaning to her and it felt like the best place to decide on whether that goodbye they had was the final one or if she should give in to her desires and go after him. She stood there for a few minutes, just the sounds of the city around her.

“Why am I not surprised to see you here?” She heard and turned around to see Harry in his shorts and hoodie, smiling brightly and she smiled back.

“What brings you here?” She asked.

“Feeling a bit stuck…And you?”

“Same.” She responded. They were quiet for a little bit before she spoke up, “I think we’re feeling stuck over the same thing.” She said to him and he glanced to her, his eyes soft as he looked over to her.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Whether it’s too late for us or not.” She said softly and he hummed as he looked at her.

“Well what do you think?” He asked and she bit her lip.

“I told Riley we kissed…he told me not to call him.” She said and he frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” She said softly and he glanced up into her eyes with a gleam of hope, “I’ve been in love with you this whole time. Waiting for you. I want us back. I-if you’ll still have me.” She offered a hopeful smile and he grabbed her face and leaned in to kiss her.

“Course I’ll have you.” He hummed with a smile, “You’re the love of my life.” He said softly and she smiled against his lips.

“And you’re the light of my life.” 

As always, all feedback is appreciated!

---- Tag List ----

@matildasatellite @sunshinemoonsposts @gurugirl @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @permanentllyharry @daphnesutton @jessitpwk @cherrysulewski @angelbabyyy99 @reveriehs

Read my other writing here...

[gingerjolover]

Electrolytes - Julien Baker x fem!reader

Synopsis: after a separate night out, julien just wants to spend time with her gf <3

G's notes: since i've been such a tease, i am finally delivering...sorry if it sucks lol

also shoutout to @boywithpinkcarnation and @whore4munagenius <3

WC: somewhere around 2k

Warnings: RPF, reader is afab, actual smut i swear, swearing ig, no fundamental physical descriptors except hair that can be tucked behind the ear?

RPF smut under the cut, if you don't like it please dni!

minors, stay away! 🙅‍♀️

It feels like since buying a house and moving in with your girlfriend, you see her less. Yes, she priortizes you and makes time, but an album release, subsequent EP, three legs of a tour, and numerous press events later, a night when you’re both in the same city doing your own thing still stings. Julien has had some studio dinner planned for months now, meeting with the higher ups of her label in downtown Nashville. Normally she’d bring you, but your best friend’s birthday dinner happened to fall on the same night. 

When you get home, Julien’s car is already in the driveway. Walking in, eyes immediately drawn to the living room couch where Julien’s sitting, manspreading like her life depends on it, wrinkling the slacks you spent 20 minutes steaming. Her laptop is on her left thigh, typing away. Her head shoots up when she hears you close the door, eyes shining in recognition. “Hi baby,” you say softly, tucking your hair behind you ear, toeing off your shoes as your dogs come to greet you. She whistles for the dogs, opening the back door to let them out before bed. 

She puts her laptop down and walks over to you, kissing you deeply as she pushes her hands into your hair, her lips tasting of wine and tobacco, her breath hot on your face "I missed you, baby.”

“Mhm,” you moan into the kiss, her hands are cold in your hair, lips warm against your own. “Missed you,” you mumble against her lips, your hands wrapping around her torso bringing her closer to you. 

Her arms wrap around you as she kisses you deeper, her tongue exploring your mouth and her teeth pressing gently against your lower lip. She groans a little as she runs her hands up your back and leans into you further, breaking the kiss to breathe before burying herself back into your mouth once more.

Julien releases your lips, letting you take a breath, kissing up and down your neck, her hands settled at your hips. “You look so good,” she moans, hand running down your torso, sliding down your thighs before settling onto your ass. You wrap your arms around her neck, your chests flush. “How was the dinner?” you ask her, knowing she wasn’t super stoked to leave earlier. 

She groans as she continues kissing along your neck, her lips making their way down to the top of your shirt, burying her face into your chest, your hand in her hair.  "It was... alright. Bunch of guys trying to seem important." she mumbles, hands sliding up underneath your shirt. "Y'know, trying to get me to do things I don't necessarily want to do." she finishes lifting your shirt over your head, groaning when she sees the bralette adorning your body. 

You giggle, finding it endearing that she can complain while stripping you down.You connect your lips again, moaning against her mouth as your hands tug at her dress shirt. “But your team helped right? They stood up for you?” you mumble against her lips, gasping when her hands move to the button of your jeans.

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth, biting gently and making you shiver, She makes a low growl noise in her throat, looking you head to toe, admiring your jeans on your body before she takes them off.  "Yeah, they did. But it's the same bullshit, it's like..." she gestures with her hand, making a shrugging motion "I don't know. I don't really want to be there right now. I wanna be with you"

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled against her mouth, your hands in her hair. “I’ve just been seeing the dinner on the calendar for like a month and I didn’t want to jump your bones without at least asking about it,” you giggle, moaning as her lips suck on your neck. She kisses your nose innocently, starting to kiss down your chest and stomach, appreciating every inch of skin, She unbuttons your jeans, kneeling down and sliding them off. She kisses the top of your underwear, looking up at you with a teasing look, her big brown eyes darkening. 

She stands up again, kissing you firmly, her thigh going between your legs, her hands on your lower back.

She starts to pull away slightly "Stop being so cute. You're driving me nuts" she whispers seductively, her voice low and sultry, her movements slow, appreciating the time with you. Her hands grab your hips, pressing her bent knee further up between your legs, your hips moving gently “Oh god,” you whimper softly. 

“Not God, just me,” she teases, making herself laugh. “How was dinner?” she whispers against your neck and behind your ear, her lips and her breath brushing against your skin. 

“It was– um, it was– it was good,” you stammer out, Julien’s hands moving your hips back and forth the best she can in this position. 

“You’re gonna ruin my pants sweet thing,” Julien says, almost giddy, your wetness leaking onto her slacks.

“Jay, please,” you moan, hips stuttering, your head plopping onto her shoulder.

Her teeth make one last soft bite of your earlobe as she moves slightly away, licking her lips as she looks at you "Please what, baby?" a teasing whisper leaves her mouth with a sly smile on her face as she raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side.

You look at her, eyes full of submission and desperation. Julien presses her thumb to your lip, watching you take the tip in your mouth, she groans, kissing your nose softly.

She nods and chuckles a little, her eyes full of lust as she looks down at you, her voice low and powerful "I want you upstairs. On the bed. Naked." she pushes you towards the stairs, her hand tapping your ass. 

She gives you a few minutes, wanting to make you sweat with anticipation. She takes her time letting the dogs in, making them sit for treats before filling up their bowls with dinner. 

Julien walks up the stairs slowly, dress shirt unbuttoned, belt unbuckled. She walks into the room, closing the behind her and sees you lying on the bed, her face becomes almost animalistic at the sight. She chuckles softly and starts walking over slowly, her lips curled and her eyes, darkened with dominance, locked on you "Good girl.”

Your back arches, body preening at the praise. Julien grabs your ankles, pulling your body closer to the edge of the bed. 

She moves closer, her lips pressing against yours as her hands wrap around your legs, her fingers dig slightly into your soft flesh. "Such a good girl, laying on the bed for me. Being so still." she whispers as her lips slide out from yours, her tongue gliding down your neck as she moves to your collarbone

“Jules… please,” you whine softly, your girlfriend kissing down your torso. 

Her tongue glides lower until her mouth connects with your nipple, looking up at you with hooded eyes, her eyes lock with your own. "Please, what, sugar?" she whispers voice thick, letting your nipple go with a pop.

“I need you,” you whimper, legs widening for her. 

Her mouth moves to your other nipple, giving it the same treatment, her teeth scraping the skin as she pulls away. "Tell me, baby." she all but growls, kissing up your neck and biting your earlobe "Tell me where you need me."

You grab one of Julien’s hands, lowering it to your center, thighs clenching around her, you lean up and kiss her softly “Here, please,” you whine softly. 

Her eyes widen a little bit, your forwardness surprising her. She’s heavy breathing, letting out a soft huff before she presses her thumb against your clit, moving in figure-8 motions, "Princess, you’re so fucking wet."

You moan loudly, Julien’s teasing grin looking down on you, power eminating off of her as she stands fully clothed above you. Her nonchalance makes you preen, her eyes darting all over you body as she absentmindedly plays with your clit.

“Please,” you beg softly, Julien can’t help but fall to her knees at the foot of the bed, your skin prickling as she all but worships you. She hooks her arms around your legs, Julien pulling you closer to her, kissing up your legs. 

She lets out a low grumble, her hair falls over her eyes and she looks back up at you "Look at me, baby." she whispers "What do you want?" she's breathing heavily as her lips graze against your thighs.

Your hand goes to her hair, pushing it back so you can see her eyes. “Need your mouth,” you pant. 

"Need my mouth where, baby?" she asks teasingly, her tongue runs along your inner thigh. 

She does this everytime, asking you questions on purpose and then making it impossible to respond. She flattens her tongue, licking a single stripe up your pussy before attaching her mouth to your clit. 

“Ahh, babe, oh my god Julien,” you moan, your hand in Julien’s hair. 

Her arms cage in your legs, tongue pushing into you, nose rubbing against your clit. She’s lapping you up like she’s dying of thirst. Your hips buck against her arms, hand pressing your lower abdomen down, keeping you still. 

“J-Julien–oh fuck,” you squeal out, legs trying to clench around her. 

She pulls away slightly and looks up at you with a puffy lips, her chin wet, eyes bright and teasing. She rests her head on your thigh "What? Didn't hear you, baby." she bites your thigh gently, her teeth digging in "Say it again."

“Fuck, Don’t t-tease, Julien,” you pout back, closing your legs a little, trapping her head between them. 

She looks between your legs, biting her lip and looking at you "What was that, baby? All I heard was whining." she moves a bit between your legs, kissing everywhere but where you want her, "Is my baby gonna behave?"

“I was being good,” you say sassily, grunting when she takes your knees and spreads them, her arms holding your hips down harshly, face hovering over your center again. 

She looks up at you, her eyes are wide and full of lust. You see her grin as she begins to lick her lips "Is that right? You were being good?"

“Mhm,” you mumble, cut off by a gasp, Julien’s tongue moving quickly again. This time she lets go of your hips, you can feel her smile, her moans sending a vibration through you. “Grind on my tongue baby…that’s it, that’s my girl,” she mumbles against you, hands holding your chest. 

Your grip tightens in Julien’s hair, throwing your own head back and arching your back, moving your hips against her mouth desperately. “Please– I’m—” you stutter out.

“Cum for me, c’mon pretty girl,” her tone stern but sweet, two fingers are pushed into you, curling quickly.

Your back arches, hands gripping the sheets, Julien’s quick to remove her fingers, pulling your hips to her mouth, holding you tightly against her as you cum. She works you through your orgasm, mouth still sucking your clit before she’s licking up everything, not wanting to waste a drop. 

“Good?” she asks smugly, sucking her fingers clean and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She kisses your thighs, watching you pant and catch your breath, chest heaving. All you can do is stare at her, the crooked smile on her face, almost innocent, like she didn’t just make you ruin the sheets. Your hand moves to her hair, patting her head. 

“You did good, I’m proud of you,” she mumbles, moving to lay next to you. The scene quite funny, your fully dressed partner lying next to you. “Your outside clothes…” you grimace, tugging at her collar. She leans down, kissing you, licking her way into your mouth. You moan, able to taste yourself on her tongue. 

“I have to change the sheets anyway… and probably get rid of my pants,” she teases, finger tracing your face. 

“I can get the stain out,” you try to reassure, before she’s shaking her head, both of you looking at her thigh. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she chuckles, pulling you into her. 

“Now,” she says brushing your hair back, kissing you softly. “You need to hydrate, gotta get you some electrolytes.”

You look at her confused, head tilted to the side. 

“Did you think we were done here? Baby, I’m going to fuck you… so hard,” Julien says, pushing her lips onto your neck and tickling your sides. 

[agardenlife]

and I miss you some nights we'll be alright

met you at the right time this is what it feels like

taís' endless list of favorite albums eps: This is What It Feels Like (2021) - Gracie Abrams

[keyaho]

II. You Give Me Butterflies

summary: hotel rooms are becoming commonplace with the pair, however, getting to know each other at such a pace leads Nashae to tell Leati how she really feels about him touching her.

Coco sat in her home studio avoiding the eyes of her team of producers. She leaned forwards, her elbows resting on the desk space and her head in her hands. Her black hoodie was open, showing off a gift from Joe. The company that made the hoodie he gifted her, had a new maxi dress, and the fitted brown material molded to her skin. She knew he went above and beyond when her personal assistant remarked on how the item didn’t come out until the fall. Topped with the hoodie and tan sheepskin slippers, Coco was ready for bed more than she was for the studio. 

“Alright, what ideas do you have?” Gerrie, her main producetress, asked. “You said, new year, new ideas.” 

Though she kept to herself in the industry, her team was close and she trusted them, especially Gerrie. She had multiple songs where Gerrie’s heavy and soulful vocals were in the layering. It was rare the producer stepped up to the mic, but when she did, Coco was always grateful. There was something about the blend of their voices that always made Coco happy and excited to sing with Gerrie. However, when Gerrie was in her producer mode, she was all about keeping Coco moving forward with innovation and newness. 

“So, if I say I haven’t thought about it, would you all yell at me?” 

“No, but we’re side eyeing you girl.” Alicia, another close industry friend snickered. “We give you a damn deadline and you’ll drop a project ten minutes after agreeing to our plan.” 

Coco’s head shot up and she pursed her glossed lips. “That was one time and it worked!” 

Five years ago, Coco dropped her “self-titled” album, Yayha, on a Wednesday morning, with no promotion. This time she wanted a “self-titled” album, but with her real name attached to it. Everyone knew her as Yayha, when her fans were being funny they used Nashae. However, she hadn’t produced any music in her whole career where her real name was listed as the writer or producer. 

“I don’t want to do what I’ve already done,’ Coco hummed. 

Then it hit her. 

“I might not have thought about what the next project will be, but, there are some songs I have been creating and thinking about. It’s more pop based, though, however, I think I want to do small EP projects through out the year. Maybe four?” 

“Are we touring this?” Alicia asked. 

“Probably, but the tours would be small. Intimate. I’m not trying to go on a world tour right now.” 

“So, these four projects?” 

Coco opened up a document folder that had different songs saved. “I want to do a show four times. So, each set of songs get it’s own show.” 

“When do you want to start these?” Gerrie asked. She had her own notebook out and had begun jotting notes. 

“First show in March? Probably in Atlanta. The band, some dancers…’ 

“When are you going to drop the EP?” 

“Late February, the show is a surprise.” 

The creative juices began to flow. Ideas for stage, costumes, and all began to fill notebooks. She had already reached out to her choreographers and would bring them in for a meeting in a week. Coco felt her phone buzz and she saw Joe’s name and a text flash across her screen. 

Can you talk? 

Not at the moment, in the studio. 

You going to let me hear the new music? 

Maybe. 

“So you want to put out a new EP every three months?”

“Yeah,’ Coco replied. “After this year, I want to do a world tour and I mean, the world.” She put her phone down and faced her team.

She had plans of taking some time off to spend with her family. She felt like her career had taken her from them. She had nieces and nephews growing fast and she wanted to spend time with them. As well as her parents. 

“Well, we need to get started. Once you have a date, I will book the venue,’ Gerrie stood and gathered up her things. 

Alicia follow suit, already on the phone with the choreographers since Coco had given her a list of potential songs. The songs would be mixed, but they could get a gist of what the dancers should be doing. 

Jumping back into work, she knew this year was going to be crazy. Glancing down at her phone, she picked it up and sent Joe another text. His reply gave her butterflies. 

I’m always going to make time for my pretty girl. 

 January 11th, 2024, the night before Friday Night Smackdown

It was rare, but, when she could fly normally and under the radar she would. Having thwarted people by posting photos as if she was in another country, she booked the first flight that would take her to Lincoln, Nebraska. Grabbing her duffel bag, she slung it over her shoulder. It was a bit chilly when Coco stepped through the doors of the airport terminal. As soon as Joe said he would love for her to come to a show, she booked her flight ticket. It was a long flight of nervousness as they spent most of it talking. Her lips were still tingling from their last kiss and her dreams had been blessed with Joe and his mouth. 

She looked around and there he was, leaning against the hood of a Cadillac Escalade. Like her, he was in a mask and dark clothes, his hands folded in front of him. Even this far away, she could see his dark eyes had landed on her. 

Taking a deep breath she walked over, clutching the strap of her bag tightly. However, the closer she got to him, the bigger her smile grew behind her mask. Her feet shuffled a little faster until she was almost skipping into his arms. Those same thick arms she missed wrapped around her waist as she dropped her bag and fell into them. His head dropped to her shoulder, breathing in her scent while she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

His hands rubbed up and down her sides, pulling her as close as he could. 

“Wassup pretty girl,’ he whispered while pulling down her mask and his before sealing their lips in a kiss. 

He tried to pull back, but Coco grabbed his head and brought him back in for another kiss. He smiled against her lips.

“Na ou misia foi oe, Nashae.” (I missed you too, Nashae.)

“Ou te valaau atu ia te oe Leati?” (Do I get to call you Leati?) 

“As long as you are calling my name I don’t care.” He reached down and picked up her bag. “Come on, let’s get you warmed up.” 

She stepped aside as he opened up the passenger door for her. Behind her, on the backseat, he dropped her bag and slid into the driver seat before pulling off the curb. Lincoln night time wasn’t as vibrant as they bigger cities, but as they drove through downtown, the bars were full and music was blaring. Even on a Thursday night. 

“I hope I won’t be in the way or distracting,’ Nashae said, ‘I’m sure you need to focus.”

It was then he reached over and placed his hand on her thigh. His thumb rubbing small circles into the fabric of her jeans, but igniting a fire against her skin. He had saw them when she walked over, but the heels he’d gifted her for Christmas were on her feet. 

“Nah,’ he replied while turning onto another street, the hotel in the distance, ‘when you asked to come to work with me, I was more than happy to accommodate.”

“You hungry?” He asked, turning down the heat as she slipped out her jacket. 

“I could eat,’ she replied. 

He reached into the arm rest between them and pulled out a few restaurant menus. She flipped through them and settled on Whataburger, a place she hadn’t had in years due to her dieting for tours. He found the drive through and joined the line, glad to be able to focus a little more on the woman in his front seat. 

Before she could speak, Leati cupped the side of her head, tilted it to the side, and laid one of the nastiest of kisses he could manage on her lips. Her hand came up and gripped the back of his head, pulling him closer as she leaned into it. He tasted like mint and she was sure it was from his gum. Regardless, she sighed into his mouth before a soft moan filled the car from her. 

“Mmmhm,’ he spoke against her lips, ‘my pretty girl.” 

A honk behind them made them separate and Leati pulled forward to the speaker box. He ordered a few patty melts, she skipped on fries, and two shakes. 

“Why do you call me that," she asked around her straw. “I mean I like it! Just wondering….”

Leati pulled to the next window and paid for their order. The car rolled up slowly to the next window. Once he had their food, he headed towards the hotel. 

“I like the way you grin and get all shy on me when I say it. Your nose gets all scrunched up like a bunny.” 

He slung her bag over his shoulder after parking while she fitted her mask to her face. Her hair was in it’s natural state, and she pulled out the band holding it in the bun she flew in. Her curls caught him off guard and he reached out, tugging on one of the curls. 

“You know what I want to say,’ he teased and just as he said, her nose scrunched up and she looked away with a soft giggle. “But I will say you are beautiful like this.” 

“You really had a crush on me, huh,’ she whispers, reaching out to tug on his beard. 

Suddenly called out, Leati laughed. “Jey?” 

Coco nodded. “You were inside helping get the fire wood and he came and told me. He thought you were being weird because of me so he told me about the crush.” 

“I’ll kill him,’ he cheesed. His pearly whites shining as he licked his lips. 

“You won’t!” She smacked his chest, stepping around him while holding her shake. 

Leati grabbed the rest of the food and she held his drink in her hand as well. When they stepped into the hotel, she walked on his left side which somewhat hid her from the front desk. Leati was grateful that the area was empty and so were the halls towards the elevators. It wasn’t rare for the roster to bring women or men back to their rooms, but he didn’t want anyone to know the woman that was with him. 

Behind him, his stride took off, Coco nearly skipping to keep up with the man in front of her. The halls were long, winding it seemed, and he kept stopping to make sure no one was around a corner. They had finally made it to the room when she leaned against the wall beside him, breathing just a bit too hard.

Leati looked down at her as he opened the door. 

“You okay?” 

“You,’ she panted suddenly, ‘have long legs!” 

He looked down at her flustered expression. When she allowed herself to relax around him, she was so cute and very expressive. She was comfortable and he wanted her to always be that way with him.

Playfully, he looked down at her and leaned forward so they were eye level. “Nah, that’s because you’re short.” 

He kissed her quickly before she could reply. Laughing, Leati opened the door but stepped aside so she could go in first. She dunked under his arm and was instantly smacked in the face by the scent of man. Heavy, strong, the hotel room smelled like him. That’s that pheromone shit folks were talking about. She thought. There was nothing artificial about what she was smelling. He came up behind her and kissed the side of her head. She had stopped just in front of the door way. 

“Shy?”

Leati placed her bag in his room of the suite. He had all intentions of letting her have his bed alone for the night. He was always wired the night for a show and would pay a gym to get a few hours in to blow off enough steam to get a few hours of sleep. 

When he came out of the bedroom, he stopped and watched Nashae stand and begin to eat. She swayed side to side, shoes gone, the patty melt in one hand and the shake in the other. The jacket was on the arm of the couch and he licked his lips at her outfit. The most simplest of outfits; black yoga pants with the matching jacket, cropped and fitted to her chest. Her hair fell to the middle of her back, the brown curls moving as she swayed. He gave her a long once over. From the top of her head to the heels of feet, she had his full attention and didn’t even know it. Well, until her hand started digging around the bag for what she knew was his fries. 

She had them in her hand, ready to bring them to her mouth when a hand curled around her wrist, turned her hand a bit and dropped them in Leati’s mouth. 

“Ms. I don’t want any fries.”  

“Yours looked good.” 

Nashae pulled out two more and quickly put them in her mouth before he could stop her. She swayed side to side again, stopping when she realized how close Leati was to her. Her back was pressed up against his chest.

“I don’t think I’m the only one that had a crush on you though.” 

Arms around her middle, Leati leaned down so his head was on her shoulder. He felt her tense at his closeness. She didn’t pull away, but he could tell she was still nervous. 

“You’re the only one that matters,’ Nashae replied. “It does come with the territory though.” 

“I guess I have to earn my keep. You have a lot of admirers.” 

Nashae shrugged, his lips right beside her ear. His beard rubbing against her cheek. 

As they finished up their food, she was sitting between his legs as they watched TV in the bed. Well, she was trying, he was kissing the back and sides of her neck. She leaned back, head rolled to the side as he tasted her skin. Her chest rose and fell very visibly. 

“You’re so sensitive,’ he remarked, nosing along the length of her neck as she shivered. “You get so worked up just from my touch.” 

To prove his point, he placed his hand on her stomach, his thumb right under her top. Her stomach fluttered and she grabbed his wrist. 

“Is it me?” He asked. 

“A little.” 

“Noted.” 

He pulled away with a smile and leaned back against the pillows, his hands behind his head. She sat up, miffed, and turned to look at him confused. 

“What-’

Nashae turned around and looked at him. He avoided her gaze, pretending to watch the movie. 

“Leati!”

“O le a?” He asked. 

“E le mafai ona e pa'i mai ia te a'u ona toso ese ai lea faapea.”

“Manaia tele le leo Samoa i ou laugutu.”

She folded her arms across her chest and pursed her lips. 

“E te mana'o ou te pa'i atu ia te oe?.”

“Ou te le iloa le mea ou te manao ai, ae ou te fiafia pe a e paʻi mai ia te aʻu.”

“You told me you were a virgin,’ he said, ‘and I’m not going to do anything that you aren’t ready for. So when you ask me to touch you, what do you mean?” 

The switch to English and the focus on her virginity made her grimace. She hated this talk. It was always the crucial moment in relationships and it determined whether they wanted to deal with a relationship or not. 

“Leati,’ she whispered, ‘I-’

“If I am going to be the one that takes you to bed, I want you to be ready for it. For me, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know I just, I don’t have much experience in this.” 

Standing up, Nashae rubbed her hands on her pants. They were suddenly clammy. 

“I’ll go as slow as you need me to, baby.” He watched her pace. 

“Yeah, there are moments when I don’t want you to go slow.” She admitted.

She wouldn’t say he made her feel so submissive, but she was sure he could pick up on it.

“I just know that I don’t know what I’m doing and would probably be a disappointment.” 

“Woah, woah, woah,’ he beckoned her back to the bed. Patting the spot between his legs, where she had been, he took her hands in his.

“We don’t have to think about that right now. The fact that you want me to touch you is enough. I get to kiss you as much as I want so for right now, just lead me where you want me.” 

Translations:

“O le a?” - What

“E le mafai ona e pa'i mai ia te a'u ona toso ese ai lea faapea.” - You can't touch me and pull away like that.

“Manaia tele le leo Samoa i ou laugutu.” - The Samoan voice on your lips is very nice. (literal) I mean't it sounds good coming from her*

“E te mana'o ou te pa'i atu ia te oe?.” - Do you want me to touch you?

“Ou te le iloa le mea ou te manao ai, ae ou te fiafia pe a e paʻi mai ia te aʻu.” - I don't know what I want, but I like it when you touch me.

[sixzeroes]

candy! a miniseries featuring nct dream’s ‘00 liners + a collection of short oneshots.

huang renjun, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin are a couple of buds in their senior year of high school. not a single one of them is taken and all of them probably have questionable rizz. but that’s alright, because love is love and having good rizz does not correlate with scoring a romantic relationship. (that’s why all four of them were able to find a girlfriend by the summer after graduating.)

alternatively, just a bunch high school romance aus that i mourn because i wish i was a teenage girl again instead of a tired adult.

inspired by nct dream’s mini album, candy.

EP.01 : ❝ you are my tangerine love. ❞

huang renjun has liked people before. he’s not some special case where his heart is solely reserved for his one true love—no, none of that shoujo manga bullshit. but whenever he sees you, his neighbour of ten years, renjun feels this sweet, tangy taste in his heart.

pairing. huang renjun x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, neighbours-to-lovers, high school au, non-idol au.

status. every time my type!

EP.02 : ❝ the feeling that reminds me of you. ❞

lee jeno has had you as his best friend for as long as he can remember. every step of the way, you were there, stuck to his side like glue. jeno always believed you’d be his best friend forever, so why is he starting to view you in a different, non-platonic light?

pairing. lee jeno x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, (best) friends-to-lovers, high school au, childhood friends au, non-idol au.

status. one step, crunch.

EP.03 : ❝ i walk this cold path with you. ❞

lee donghyuck did not believe in ‘love at first sight.’ key word: did. he does now, but only because you happened to fall into his arms on the icy road in the narrow streets. you’re going to render him breathless from the countless times your smile takes his breath away.

pairing. lee donghyuck x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, strangers-to-lovers, high school au, meet-cute au, non-idol au.

status. breathe in, breathe out.

EP.04 : ❝ can i stay by your side forever? ❞

na jaemin does not like you, not one bit. you’re one brat of a student body president, never failing to show-off to him. but on the day of your high school graduation, you unexpectedly confess to him, and all of a sudden, you’re more important than suneung results.

pairing. na jaemin x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, academic-rivals-to-lovers, high school au, non-idol au.

status. coming soon.

nabi’s note | i need to stop coming up with new ideas when i haven’t even finished my other fics. anyway, this is gonna be my return to writing on tumblr bc i rly rly wanna write smth for dream’s winter special !! all of these are probs gonna be ard 2–5k words, and (hopefully) no more than that lol :”

btw | all of these fics are written from the boys’ povs’! so please don’t be shocked if they’re a little wonky D:

taglist | @matchahyuck @lovehowdream @niinjo @jeonnyread @pckeia @dandelionxgal @huangstape @lemarkjun @mosviqu @neosdaisy @haven-cove @toothfa-1-ry

please send an ask or comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list! <3

[daily-lovejoy-lyrics]

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

I'm not expecting you to know this off-the-bat, but I am super curious. What are the "least known" albums submitted here so far?

Hey anon! Hopefully you mean among our voter/follower base because that is what we have reliable numbers for! Here's a list of the top 20 albums thus far posted on the blog with the highest percentage of "haven't heard of it before" votes:

LEXI'S UNIVERSE - Hexosphere (99.6%)

Skull Crack Gurry Dip - Monoculus Rex Murum (99.5%)

Real Ones & the Extended Family - Real Ones (99.4%)

El Amor Que Merecemos - Kany García (99.4%)

True Crime - Butter The Children (99.4%)

It's Gonna Be Alright E​.​P. - Remo-con (99.4%)

The Things You Think At Night - Pocket (99.3%)

Far from Strangers - Reason|Define (99.3%)

alem - blissom (99.2%)

Badass Snow White - Badass Snow White (99.1%)

RAVEDADA - SCJ (99.1%)

Praise Gor-Nacular! - Orcumentary (99.1%)

Skin - Gown (99.1%)

CHURCH - Sal Valentine (99.1%)

New Romancer - Cousin Tony's Brand New Firebird (99.1%)

Bass Oddities Vol. 1 - Kanji Kinetic (99.1%)

Geometricks EP - Nu Era (99.1%)

Capoeira Nation - Mazedude (99.1%)

Circuit '72 [2018 Digital Reissue] - Riow Arai (99.1%)

Call To Mind - Commix (99.1%)

Note: this list only includes completed polls and does not account for currently active polls and unposted submissions

[queentoriel]

my thoughts on the lovejoy merch

tldr: i'm disappointed in the lovejoy merch. it doesn't promote their band and should have at least included their logo somewhere. i think anvilcat needs to be pushed as a character of the band, and have mocked up some of my own designs that i think would work better.

lovejoy has gone about this merch drop like a cc would - trying to make subtle references and items that people wouldn't be 'embarrassed' about wearing in public. this is not how band merch works! not only a money maker, band merch is key for promotion and advertising.

think about nirvana, metallica, the rolling stones. their logos are SO iconic and recognisable because they were used fucking EVERYWHERE! it SCREAMS their name. the lovejoy merch doesn't say their name ANYWHERE, and instead only pushes the name of their record label, and i have absolutely no idea why they landed on this (i know it's are you alright themed but cmon, why are you pushing that motif more than your band name?)

before i get into what i think they should have done, let's talk about what they did:

fucking inconsistent long sleeve: anvil cat records logo is alright but the shape of the anvil isn't readable. i'm always a fan of sleeve details but the lyric choice feels a bit immature (?) overall pretty boring

anvil cat records short sleeve: this is a worse version of the previous logo. the cat has no detail and and makes the anvil even less readable. and again, why are they pushing the record label logo instead of the band's?

it's only available in black and white which is very basic and i think would have worked better with a red/maroon print to fit the are you alright theme.

jimjam pocket: really not a fan of this. from a distance it's a yellow long sleeve that you're paying £35.00 for. up close it's a tiny print of a dog character that honestly i don't think works well enough to printed (fine as album artwork but like this just looks like a black smudge lmao). movin on bc i don't want to think about this one anymore

socks: i like them. unique item to sell. designs look alright - not much else to say

pebblebrain jumper: this is BY FAR the best product and you can tell that they have put the most effort into this. it looks high quality and is quite impressive that they've been able to make it. this is the only item i was considering buying (the price put me off) i'm not mad that this isn't explicitly promoting the band bc you can tell they were making it from a fashion pov more than a 'listen to our band' pov

so overall, it's a disappointing merch drop. i understand what they were trying to do since it was promoted as a 'one year celebration' merch drop, and so making an item for each ep (and the knee deep cover?) makes sense to mark what they've released since forming as a band, but i think 90% of their focus (and budget) went into the design and logistics behind the pebblebrain jumper, leaving the other products to fall short.

so what should they have done?

lovejoy already have an incredibly designed logo, and i am beyond confused as to why they haven't used it anywhere - especially when they're celebrating their first year as a band! it's literally your name!

slap that on a t-shirt and you can call it a day - it makes so much sense and i really want to know what the thought process was behind not using it. not only is it literally the brand you're trying to promote - it's a good looking logo!

they also have this amazing cat skull logo (which i'm a huge fan of) this is a WAY BETTER representation of anvil cat, and helps to convey the genre and tone of their music. it relates perfectly to are you alright and is instantly recognisable. it will stay in people's minds, but the only way to do that is to USE IT.

speaking of anvil cat, i made my own designs for him. imo, he should be the (face? mascot? character?) of lovejoy. the bird is a bird. the dog is annoying to look at and was created for a cover. the anvil cat has a story and the possibility to have a personality for fans to know and love and associate the band with. he directly links to the lovejoy's biggest song that started their whole career. he has a huge potential to become an icon for the band as well as a marketing tool.

my mockups are messy but they get the point across. look at him! the crossed out eyes, tongue hanging out, and the exposed ribs from the anvil! it makes sense! but get this - lovejoy have already experimented with his design, here he is, a small icon used in the centre of the poster promoting their halloween show.

i think that's all my ramblings for now. sound off in tags or replies what u think. am i completely wrong and should be burned at the stake for insulting precious band? maybe. but i mean it in good faith. i wouldn't care this much if i didn't want them to succeed

[wilbursoot-updates]

Lovejoy have today released their highly-anticipated new EP, ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’.

Lovejoy is in this article!

British indie-rock group Lovejoy have today released their highly-anticipated new EP, ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’. Listen to the EP here.

The six track EP, which includes the previously released single ‘Call Me What You Like’ (a former BBC Radio 1 Tune of the Week) alongside a further five energetic indie pop tracks, is available now in a variety of formats including digital, CD and cassette. To coincide with the EP release, the band has also revealed an accompanying visualiser for the single ‘Portrait of a Blank Slate’ (watch here) as well as a video for ‘It’s Golden Hour Somewhere’ (watch here).

Lovejoy said: “After a year of radio silence we are overjoyed to finally release our new EP ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’. We’ve had an incredible time on the road so far, playing shows and meeting our amazing community. We can’t wait to see you all again in what is sure to be a momentous summer.”

The fast-rising young band performed a sold out UK and European tour earlier this year, and are now on their first ever North American headline tour performing 20 shows across the USA and Canada which sold out 25,000 tickets in just two minutes. The new dates follow Lovejoy’s first ever shows both in the UK and USA last year (all selling out in seconds) highlighting their huge fanbase, which includes 30 million fans across their social channels and 800 million global streams.

Ahead of the release of the EP, the band recently took part in Spotify’s Our Generation fan event and recorded two tracks for the Spotify Singles series including a stripped back version of ‘Call Me What You Like’ and a cover of Beabadoobee’s ‘The Perfect Pair’.

The band released their debut EP ‘Are You Alright?’ in May 2021 including the single ‘One Day’, which currently boasts over 114 million streams on Spotify alone and continues to climb. They quickly followed up with ‘Pebble Brain’ in October 2021 – a second EP comprising of seven tracks which debuted at Number 12 on the official UK Album Chart based on streaming alone.

[lmanburs]

truly an insane ass year for the wilbur soot/lovejoy music enjoyers like

call me what you like in february

are you alright? acoustic ep in april

those two spotify singles also released in april

wake up & it's over in may

normal people things in october

whole ass wilbur soot solo album in november

and another lovejoy single releasing sometime within the next month??

[joviepog]

IM HERE TO REQUEST (lyss) I also have such bad writers block that I can’t even think of prompts but maybe something about Wilbur and reader maybe he’s playing a song he wrote them I love musicianbur or artist reader and he’s looking at their work :)

Also hmu anytime you want to just brainstorm :)

Awe i absolutely love this idea! Thanks for the request @alyssys!

—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—

With all my love

Who: Wilbur x reader

Warnings: None!

Pronouns: None mentioned!

Anything else: I love musicianbur so much. I did make this a small blurb though bc i think the smallest things are the most important <3

—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—ᜊ—

I feel like after you two start dating, every song is about you. The first one in the album would be how you two met, then the next how you two started to fall in love, then all the moments you had together, then you guy’s first date and how he felt. I feel like it would be such a change in music. Like even when he’s with the rest of the band or even one of his twitch friends he’s just talking about you the whole time. And if someone compliments one of his newer songs he’ll just be like, “Oh yeah. That’s about my gf.”

“Alright everyone! This next one is from the new ep!” Everyone cheers, “Do you guys already know the lyrics?” everyone cheers again.

I feel like he would make a song about you helping him heal when he was at his worse. And i think he would cry every time he would play that song.

Once he starts singing he feels a lump in his throat. The band told him maybe they should save the song for another day but he refused. The song reminded him so much of you. And he missed you so much that he just wanted to be reminded of all the times you two had.

After a couple more seconds of the song slow tears started to go down his face. Not exactly sad ones but not exactly happy ones. After he finished the song he would just talk about you for five minutes straight.

Everyone would be “Awe”-ing and “ohh..” when he explains the song. He just thought you would never see it, but the whole time Elodie was just face timing you.

After the show ended you called him and told him how much you love him. And that you promise to be there for him forever. And then he just cries again because he’s so happy.

Turns out the top twitter feed was wilbur crying on stage and taking about how much he loved you. But that didnt matter, because all he wanted was to make you happy.

—/—/—/—/—/—/—

I JUST GOT ANOTHER IDEA WHERE WILBUR SHOWS YOU A SONG HE MADE FOR YOU WITHOUT TELLING YOU ITS FOR YOU

“Oh darling, before i forget, i made this new song and i wanted to see how you liked it.”

You two are in your guy’s shared room and he has a guitar in hand, he’s playing you songs to relax you after a long day.

“Of course!” You smile at him. He starts playing and you listen intently. Not wanting to miss a single note or lyric he sings. But as he continues singing you realize that it sounds familiar.

He’s smiling as he sings, watching you lost in thought out of the corner of his eye.

it turns out he used a melody that you always hum as the tune and that the lyrics is about how much he loves you.

“Wilbur? Is this song about me?”

He stops singing and playing.

“Maybe?” He says teasingly.

You instantly move aside his guitar and hug him. “Oh your such a tease!” You giggle as you give him small kisses all around his face.

Awe i love musicianbur stop. T-T

[singlesablog]

The Imperial Phase

“Left to My Own Devices” (1988) Pet Shop Boys Parlophone / EMI Records (Written by Tennant / Lowe) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 84

I was faced with a choice at a difficult age Would I write a book?  Or should I take to the stage? But in the back of my head I heard distant feet Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat

- from “Left to My Own Devices”

“We had been so disciplined at making four-minute pop singles, with the exception of "It's a Sin", which is five minutes. The idea was to have an album where every track was a single

- Pet Shop Boys on the idea behind Introspective

I used to joke with a friend that the two albums in Pet Shop Boys catalog that sat next to one another could have swapped their titles: Introspective (1988) could have been titled Behaviour (1990), and vice versa.  Introspection is from the Latin (“to look within”), and I guess this kind of works; an album titled Self Referential would not be nearly as catchy, if more accurate. Oddly, I always thought of introspection as being related to looking backwards, like nostalgia; in the case of the Pet Shop Boys it is perhaps just a case of inverse-ness (gay people were once called inverts), or even a thoughtful kind of literal thinking.  But who knows, they could have just pulled the title out of a bag.  The duo was never averse to fashion.

The album (if you are unware) consists of six extended tracks, and unlike the quote above, only 4 of them were released as singles, “Domino Dancing”, “Devices”, “Always on My Mind” (which preceded the record and was presented in a much different version), and “It’s Alright”.  “It’s Alright” and “Always on My Mind” are covers, “I Want a Dog” and “I’m Not Scared” are recycled cuts, so the album only contained two original songs, “Domino Dancing” (a huge hit all over the world) and “Devices” (an even bigger hit in the UK, but not in the US).  Like the EP Disco, an earlier collection of 6 extended cuts, it treated the form with respect, but also expanded the idea of what a proper album could be.  To my mind it is easily one of their very best, most original, and certainly most popular (internationally it is their best seller ever).  I love every track (with a small mark off for “It’s Alright”, which does grow a little tedious), but none as much as “Left to My Own Devices”, which is formally audacious and endlessly, thrillingly queer from a gay male perspective.

I was faced with a choice at a difficult age Would I write a book?  Or should I take to the stage?

Back to the idea of introspection, most young gay men have an intense inner life, and we of a certain generation (coming of age in the 1970s and 1980s) were forced to find our culture on our own.  “Left to My Own Devices” is a catalogue of the thoughts and ideas that might roam around in a bachelor’s world.  One of the slyer things about the song is that most of it is spoken word.  Here we find Neil rapping (again!) but instead of trying to create the beat the effect is more like reportage than singing.  The lyrics, as usual, are a collage of ideas carefully cut and pasted to create an atmosphere of bourgeois dandyism (“I phone up a friend who’s a party animal”, “we’ll do some shopping”)—I mean, there is a lot of tea drinking in these lyrics, and I can never be sure that this is either very gay, very British, or both.  I think the Pet Shop Boys, song to song, are generally more in search of a tone where content is concerned, and I also think that tone is always meant to elude you a bit.  As long as you are dancing I don’t think they care what you think, and one sure thing about Introspective is that this certainly is a dance record, and not well understood as one of the most purchased and successful House records ever made, and if you are ever in any doubt of that, please focus on the opening of “Left to My Own Devices”, where they employed an actual opera singer (Sally Bradshaw) to sing the word “house” over and over again as if it were an aria.

All of this can be seen as sardonic (their infamous “irony”) but I always prefer to think of it as sophistication; at the very least, Pet Shop Boys take their ideas and music seriously.  If you read my blog post on Chic’s “Good Times” you can easily understand the courage of performing this style of music in earnest in a world of the backlash that “Disco Sucks” created, which effectively took the bubbles out the late 70s, forced an entire world of music underground, and ironically exploded the genre into many different forms, some of which this record preserves.  There is a level of irony abounding in “Left to My Own Devices”; aside from the gay thing, perhaps that subversiveness is built into the genre of disco music itself.  The track did not really chart in the US outside of the clubs, but that hardly mattered: one could really enjoy Introspective as a gestalt, one long thought, or even one long track.  Whenever I find that I have an itch to listen to the album it is inevitably for the opening of “Devices”, where amidst a full symphony Neil opens with “I get out of bed at half past ten” and then proceeds to take you on a long ride describing a mundane day conducted by the best producers and mixers in the world.  It is the transformation of the mundane into the extraordinary, and also the testament of an inner life revealed.  In contrast to the general success of the album, perhaps “Left to My Own Devices” is the real innovation of the 6 tracks; it may not be the most American, or the most well-known, but being an invert myself, I must say: I rather like it that way.  Is it an irony that a disco record can make one feel seen?  Maybe not.  To some of us, hiding in plain sight just comes naturally.

---

Behaviour (1990).

Tennant later regretted the release of Introspective so soon after the previous album, Actually, feeling that it pigeon-holed them as a dance act.  The melancholy follow-up, Behaviour, generally considered to be their finest achievement, was a relative failure.

I was surprised to learn that “The imperial phase” was actually put into the vernacular by Neil Tennant. The imperial phase is the period in which a musical artist is regarded to be at their commercial and creative peak simultaneously, and was coined to describe the group's feelings on their career circa "Domino Dancing" (1988). Critic Tom Ewing described three criteria for defining an artist's imperial phase as "command, permission, and self-definition".

It was genius producer Trevor Horn who came up with the line “Debussy to a disco beat” tossing it off while laying down a track.  Tennant, ever the historian, collaged it into the song, and gave Horn a writing credit on the b-side “The Sound of the Atom Splitting” as compensation.

Apparently, Neil Tennant’s mother was upset at hearing him sing “I was a lonely boy, no strength, no joy, in a world of my own” but it seems that this is just a character he was play acting: he apparently had a happy childhood.

"In a secret life I was a Roundhead general" – [In British history] the "Roundheads" were the pro-Parliamentary forces during the English Civil War of the mid-1600s. The name "Roundheads" came from the fact that they generally wore their hair trimmed short, unlike their opponents, the long-haired "Cavaliers" who supported King Charles I. (And in case you're not up on your British history, Charles I was ultimately defeated, deposed, and beheaded.) Again, Neil has pointed out that, as a child, he himself would actually have been far more sympathetic to the Cavaliers (in contrast to his more anti-royalist sympathies as an adult). 

- (Directly quoted from geowayne.com)

Pet Shop Boys are still recording. Nonetheless, the Boys 15th studio album, was released April 26th, 2024 to near universal praise.

-----

This post was written using analog techniques to collate facts.  After deciding on a topic, one Wikipedia entry will naturally suggest another, and then I let those concepts create an environment of creative association rather than mere fact finding. I do cross reference sources to find what is most interesting.  While some small details may be disputable, none is used for any other reason than to open up the idea at hand, and to support the belief that most pop songs are indeed works of art, with the great ones renewing themselves endlessly.