#ericius tag

[priestess-of-yuri]

i thought mizisua meant a lot to me before this but now that i've actually lost someone, god. it hurts OTL

[redqueenmiku]

every time i do anything i forget tumblr hates horizontal and i cry

It’s Sonic’s birthday! In commemeration, I drew a whole bunch of Sonics! This took seven hours and my entire Tuesday. Some of these are actually real AUs I have too. Descriptions are available on the DeviantArt crosspost, which is here!

[priestess-of-yuri]

They stopped to watch it rise, like a fool in the middle of nowhere. They bared their teeth at it as the stars faded out of view, and the solitary sun overshadowed them.

He was gone, and the world kept turning. The sun kept rising and falling. One day it would die too, but not for a long time. Not for so long it might as well be forever.

Maybe that was how it was with them. Maybe Enkidu would be the only, solitary sun — rising and falling forever, without the other sun to keep them company.

This sun, this foreign solitary sun, they did not recognise it. It was repulsive. It was wrong. Everything was wrong.

They deserved better. They deserved better than these lonely sunrises. They needed their other sun — their companion. Their lover without a name. Their love, their reason for living.

They tilted their head up in the middle of the desolate street, staring at the abyss that was the back of their eyelids.

If they couldn’t have Gilgamesh, no one could. No one could. They would haunt him forever. They swore it. They would turn these iridescent, bright, unconditional feelings into a monster.

They would become the monster, the monster he made.

They would follow him like toy soldiers, all in his memories. If he was still even alive, they would love him like he died a martyr for them. They would love him fiercely and forever like he was the sun and they were a black hole, sucking all that they were back home into themselves.

They wouldn’t stop until he was truly gone, and even then they wouldn’t stop. They would love him until they had leeched all of him, all of his love, like a twisted creature of the night that could no longer stand the sight of day.

They would turn against all they stood for. They would love like that was all they knew. It was. They would love like it was the only thing that sustained them. It was. They would love like goodbye, hello, and see you later. They would defy all of time and space and see their feelings reach him.

They would do anything. They swore it on their life. It wasn’t over. They would wait here physically for the event of a return, until their body rotted into the ground, but beyond that they would change the whole metaphysical realm to suit their desires. They would warp and twist and break it all.

They would shatter the reality of it with their words, feelings, thoughts. They would drive themselves to their limit and over it again and again until they broke and broke again and again. They refused to let go.

They would never let go. He would be their hero, their role model, the extension of their soul and limbs awaiting the day they would reunite. Whether that be in this life or the next, they would never let go of the pain, the anguish, the depth and breadth of their eternal flame.

They would make him submit. They would make him listen, and he would be grateful. He would understand. It was written. It was predetermined. He would return, it was just a matter of time.

Enkidu and Gilgamesh were meant to be. Even if they broke apart in the next life again, Enkidu would do it all over. They would do it all over for them. Tirelessly. Relentlessly. Impossibly.

They would defy fate if they had to.

(x)

[priestess-of-yuri]

You were the sun to me. You taught me how to shine too. You were pure life, pure light, pure flame. You were never dangerous, but now that you’re gone, it's like the world has gotten darker. You were beautiful and radiant and human. And now you're gone.

You're gone.

(x)

[priestess-of-yuri]

my friend ericius and i are chatting about spirituality :] they asked me this:

and i decided to wax poetic on how i'm a bard (of the druidism spirituality, but i just say Bard because i love love love how it sounds...)

[priestess-of-yuri]

Do you believe we'll meet again? Do you want to?

I hope you do.

Your warmth was fierce, blazing -- it outshone everyone. You were the sun to rival all suns. You taught me how to be one.

I haven't forgotten how to be one. But I don't know if I remember your warmth.

It is so cold without you, love.

Do you feel my absence too? Did I mean the same to you? I want to believe I did, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if there's a point. I know that hope is all I'll ever have though.

Hope, and your love.

I carry it with me. It echoes around me from other people in my life too, it's all one and the same. It's all love, it's just that you were the first.

You being the first makes you special, though. Each of my loved ones are, but I cannot describe all you mean to me even now.

I am trying to. All I've ever done is try. All I want to do is help you.

I wish you could have let me in. I wish you could have stayed.

I wish you would find me again.

(x)

[priestess-of-yuri]

The universe got colder when you left. Life is unfair, and things should not be this way. I wonder if you'll ever give me the mercy of answers. I wonder if you'll ever find your way back to me.

I wonder if you're even breathing.

(x)

[priestess-of-yuri]

ok you know what. i think i am going to make a cup of tea and see if my brain will let me focus on reading the epic of gilgamesh

[priestess-of-yuri]

i love being a lesbian. i love being aroace. i love experiencing love in a way that is nuanced and non-traditional and all-encompassing. i love looking at the sky, and thinking "i love you". i love looking at the birds and the trees and the bugs, and thinking "i love you". i love looking at people, and thinking "i love you, too, even if we never see each other again, even if you are different to me, even if you do not love anyone". and i love looking at myself and thinking "it's always been you".