#erwin angst

[arteastica]

Early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (22)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (23) | (24)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 2.9k

Your lips were usually the first part of your body his greeted, but when his teeth took the tender skin of your neck between them instead, you knew that the look in his eyes wasn’t the only thing that had changed that night.

He sank his teeth into the soft flesh, a little below your jaw, and it didn’t hurt. The first night you were together he promised that would never happen, and being the upstanding, dependable Commander of the Survey Corps, you knew he was a man of his word. That’s why, even when your body was trembling against his, chest so tight it was hard for your lungs to expand, you trusted him. You trusted the warm breath on your neck that announced the path he was following, a path that led him to a specially sensitive patch of skin below your throat, where his lips started to suck on a little harder than they ever had. But then again, it didn’t hurt.

Not knowing if your lips were allowed to say as much, you ran your fingers through his hair, letting them tell him instead, in their gentle, silent way that you missed him.

A lot.

However, unsure if that was something he wanted to hear, and fearing he wouldn’t return the words, you settled for intertwining your fingers with his golden locks, head thrown back and eyes closed as you let his lips have his way with you. Lips that, by now, had traveled all the way down to your collarbones, slightly visible despite your closed shirt. And, when he nipped the delicate skin, a soft whimper escaped your lips.

A small, innocent sound that proved to be enough to make him want to bury his face between your breasts, which he promptly did after undoing the top buttons of your shirt in one single motion of his hand.

“Erwin.” You called out timidly, his name becoming a combination of pleasure and pain on your lips. Pain that wasn’t exactly physical.

On one hand, you were happy he was touching you again. You were glad to be someone he still wanted to kiss, to hold, to fuck maybe; even after you had told him you loved him. His lips on you, feasting on the tender, plump flesh of your breasts were enough confirmation that you still existed in his mind; that he still craved your body, just as much as your pussy, hungrily rubbing against the hard muscle of his thigh, told him you craved his.

Another part of you, however, was lost in uncertainty; constantly asking herself if it was all worth it. If this pleasure was worth the risk. The risk of ending up feeling used.

Because, the more he sank his teeth into you, the more you realized how impersonal it all felt, much like his voice had just moments ago. There was something you couldn’t explain, something about his kisses choosing your neck and breasts over your lips. There was something unsettling about not being able to see his eyes. It scared you. Not being able to find, in their gentle gaze, the reassurance you needed in such vulnerable, intimate state; with your heart threatening to break your ribcage, your shallow breaths suffocating you more than helping you, and your pussy throbbing even harder with every lap of his tongue against your skin. But then again, that’s how your body reacted whenever he was around.

That’s how it reacted whenever you had the warm palm of his hand under your shirt, a subtle way of announcing that the fabric had become an obstacle that needed to be disposed of soon; which he promptly did, tugging at the front so suddenly and so forcefully it left you wondering if you’d find yourself sewing the bottoms back later in your room. But honestly you didn’t care, not when his hand skillfully unclasped your bra, revealing how impatient your nipples were to become the next target of his attention.

But, when time passed passed and his tongue never showed, you looked down to find him undoing your pants, not even bothering to look up to give any sort of explanation as he pulled down your boots, before throwing everything together to the pile of fabric only your panties were yet to join.

Only, they never did.

They remained in their place, quietly waiting around your hips for their turn, the cotton desperately clinging to the wet skin between your legs. A place that was leaking with want, throbbing with desire, clenching in anticipation.

Silently crying for him.

So much so that, for a moment, you considered removing them yourself. But that was before he stood up and his midnight eyes met yours, making you understand that taking your panties off wasn’t an order your commander had given.

“Comman- ah-” You moaned when his arm found its way around your waist; his body, still fully, and rather unfairly clothed, pressed hard against your bare skin as he lifted you up like a doll. A doll he wanted sitting on his desk, her legs slightly parted, just enough so he could stand in between.

His eyes bore into yours, telling you his plans in a language you were yet to learn, and maybe it was the gelid blue of his stare, or the fact that your panties were the only item of clothing you had been allowed to keep, but you started to shiver. Unsheltered, forsaken, and uncertain. Like a toy that was brought out of the attic one last time, just so its owner could decide if they would keep it or give it away.

“I’m scared.” The words left your lips in a whisper. A whisper so feeble you were unsure he had even heard.

Yes, you were scared. Scared that he didn’t believe you. Scared that he thought you were seeing Leon behind his back, kissing him in secret corners, letting him touch you in the late hours while you called his name, a name that wasn’t your Commander’s. And most importantly, you were scared of what a misunderstanding of that magnitude could mean for the two of you. For your future together, assuming there was even as much as a future to be scared about.

“I can stop if this is not what you want.” He said, and this time his voice sounded a little like it had back then, that unforgettable night when the winter was just starting and you had his naked body hovering over yours, glistening with sweat as he promised he would never hurt you.

It all seemed so far away now.

You knew, however, that his promise remained the same, despite his eyes and the way they looked at you changing so abruptly. And like so, you shook your head promptly, not knowing what was going to happen but wanting to see it happen regardless.

But despite your consent, he didn’t move a finger, choosing to stare at you instead. With those hazy blue eyes, disorienting and mystifying in an enticing, calming way; like morning mist hovering over the mountain lake on a chilly autumn day. And you got the feeling that maybe, just maybe, if you waited long enough it would clear up. Along with all the misunderstandings separating the two of you.

Because, maybe, all you needed was to stare into each other’s eyes, let them talk to each other before your lips could complicate everything with words. Because the more you stared into the blue, the more you saw, the more you understood, and the more visible the truth became.

What was hiding under the surface, below all that fog? What wasn’t he telling you? And, why he didn’t want to tell you?

You held all those questions in the trembling hand you lifted to his cheek, finding in his stillness the courage to run a gentle thumb against his skin, which was warm and comfortable, and slowly leaning against your palm. And for a moment, you thought he would close his eyes and let you hold him like you used to, not too long ago. But if there was something about the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, something you should be familiar with after working 8 months under him, was his unpredictability. The patterns that his thoughts followed were a mystery, and that is assuming they followed a pattern at all.

Because unpredictability was in everything he did. From the way his hunter green cloak would dance in the wind as he rode his white horse across fields of green, to the way he would lead his men and their lives into uncharted territories with a single flare of his gun, or the way he turned you around in one swift motion of his arm. Big, commanding hand flat against your back, holding you down, a whimper escaping your lips the exact moment your breasts landed on the cold, hard wood of his desk, left cheek squeezed against the papers he had just been working on; which you confirmed were indeed the reports on the new horses. And, as useless as that information seemed now, it was the only thing your eyes were allowed to see from the position you now found yourself in.

You squirmed under his hand, your naked toes barely touching the floor, the delicate clinking of trembling porcelain the only thing you could hear as you tried to adjust your position in an attempt to see him. But the only thing you managed to see from the corner of your eye was the sturdy, menacing frame silently standing behind you, observing you. And you didn’t need to see his face to know where his attention was, because his eyes were burning your skin, visually devouring the flesh between your legs, where your famished hole throbbed, greedily consuming the fabric as it stuck to your wet slit.

And a minute could have passed, or a year perhaps, before you finally heard the rattle of his belt, announcing the plans he had for you. An excited shiver ran down your spine just mere seconds before you felt his warm hand between your legs, furtively pushing your panties to the side with a flick of his finger, not even bothering to pull them down before running the thick, delicious tip of his cock up and down your slit. And something about his unhurried, leisurely movements reminded you of a wolf circling its prey before going in for the kill.

It was relaxing, in a dangerous way. Comforting in the problematic sense. So comforting that pleased hums started leaving your lips every time you exhaled. His generous, hard cock and the soft, moist tip running along your slick folds, reassuring you that he was finally there at your door, as if he had just come home after the longest of missions.

You let your eyes fall shut and your mind get flooded with all the pleasant imagery. Summer, him coming home to you after a long day at work, warm dinner served on the table much like your body was now on his desk, the pantry cabinet now standing sturdy and foursquare after you asked him to fix it; glass holding the lemonade you just prepared for him, and the peach rhubarb pie waiting respectfully in the oven as your clothes dried quietly in the backyard. A lovely repetition you wished to be stuck in for the rest of your days together.

A short lived fantasy that made your lips curve into a smile, a smile that turned into an open mouth the moment he pushed his fat cock inside, all of a sudden and without warning. All the way to the hilt. And then, just as unexpectedly, he pulled out, allowing you to taste nothing but the overwhelming emptiness for a brief second before slamming back in, harder this time, making you release a pained and very audible moan that you were certain someone, at least one person, somewhere in the castle must have heard.

“Comman- ahh-” You gasped when he pulled out again before slipping back inside, his pace growing more aggressive with every thrust. “Erwin- mmmh~”

It was so different today. He seemed so eager to claim you as his, not holding back at all when it came to the rhythm of his hips, and neither were you when it came to your moans. You heard yourself making sounds that had never come out of your mouth before.

“Erwin!” You heard yourself chant his name in notes you didn’t know you were able to reach. “A-ah!”

You were practically screaming and he didn’t seem to care if someone heard you. In fact, it was as if the louder you screamed, the deeper his dick would go as a compliment. Almost as if he was announcing, with every thrust of his hips, that you belonged to him.

As if he wanted the whole castle to know what he was doing to you, the things he was making you feel.

As if he wanted everyone, including you, to know that nobody else could fuck you like this.

As if he was belligerently asking, with every violent thrust of his hips, if a metaphorical someone could make you scream like this.

And who were you to refuse answering your commander’s questions?

“I promise I’m only yours hnngh~” You moaned as his heavy balls hit your dripping folds. “But, if you feel I’m not, then make me a-ahh~!” Your fist held the report he had been working on, now nothing but a crumpled up paper; your brow locked in a tight frown as you did your best to speak through the overwhelming pleasure. “Please, Erwin, fuck me until you feel I’m yours enough.”

And you knew he was about to do just that the moment he removed the flat palm he had been pressing against your back, and placed it on your hips instead, gripping the flesh with such force it made you think he was never going to let go. And you were completely fine with that.

His thrusts grew even more animalistic as time went on, and maybe it was the spice of the cedar desk against your nose or the vanilla of the white oak burning on the other end of the room, but it all made you think of an ax chopping wood in the middle of a forest clear, splitting it in half like a broken heart, yet oddly satisfying like gliding a hot knife through fresh butter, very early in the morning. In the kitchen of some cabin. Hidden in some faraway woods.

As he pounded into you, all you saw was the kettle and the teacup, forgotten on the opposite end of the desk, and all you heard was the rattling of the porcelain, as its contents threatened to jump out of the cup, taking excited leaps every time he thrusted into you.

“Yes, yes, just like that.” You couldn’t help but smile, feeling like a flower, starved of sunlight, after the sky finally cleared up. “Erwin, I’m yours mmmhh~” Every inch of your body belonged to him, and you wanted him to know. To know that he had complete control over every single muscle of your body, down to the smallest one. Hence why they all tensed up when his grip tightened and more desperate, filthy sounds started to leave your lips in appreciation of how deep he was. “Only yours. Do you understand?”

You asked, but didn’t really expect an answer to come out of his lips. He was so silent today, and that was fine. Because you were being vocal for the two of you. You were screaming so he didn’t have to speak, moaning so he could focus all his attention in fucking you, in sliding that fulfilling, indulgent cock of his in and out of you, over and over again.

In your office, and maybe outside too, nothing else could be heard that evening, nothing but your sweet little cries and the lewd, wet sound of his dick as it entered your tight hole, repeatedly and relentlessly. So relentlessly you soon felt it building up inside, like a cork popping out of a bottle, the foam menacingly filling the glass to the brim; like milk dangerously approaching its boiling point, threatening to spill everywhere and cause a mess.

A beautiful one.

“Yes! Please, I-I’m almost there, Erwin. Please make me c-come.” You clenched tighter against his cock, your body squirming so much his hand had to return to its former position flat against your back. “I want to come for you.” Bending you over. “All over you.” Holding you down so you wouldn’t escape. “Because of you.”

Perfection. No, even that word fell short. Artistic. No, you couldn’t arrange it prettily into words. Aromatic. Yes, you could smell it. The freshly brewed ginger, the zesty lemon, and the intoxicating sweetness of the honey. An infusion you would never be able to drink again without thinking about him. Fucking you like this. On his desk. His hand folding you over. The sky all those ambiguous colors. His heavy, velvety balls slapping against your drenched pussy, his swollen cock buried all the way down to the hilt. You. Completely vulnerable, entirely owned by him. And even though his swollen cock relentlessly pounding into you reminded you of a knife stabbing an open wound, ironically, you felt safe. Safe enough to let your eyes close and your smile widen, as you prepared to come for him.

-

next chapter

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[crazychaoticizzy]

Good Grief Part II

Erwin Smith X Reader

Sometimes, the things that seem good for us cause us the most grief, and that is why we should always think through our decisions.

WARNINGS: canonverse, angst, insecurity, death, smut, breeding, creampie, fingering, pregnancy, gaslighting, MINORS DNI

Word Count: 10.5k

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<< previous part

It was after you opened the front door, cheeks wet and eyes bloodshot, that Erwin realized this isn’t the life he was meant for.

You cleared your throat, wiping your cheeks as you leaned against the doorframe. You held the door against you, treating Erwin like a stranger that had come to your house.

Marie was with Benjamin in the living room, sitting on the floor and softly tickling his stomach. She had managed to visit after you wrote to her, which was more than Erwin had done for his own son.

“Hi, my love.” You had to force it out, and God that hurt so bad because even after everything you still loved him. You still missed the touch of his hand and the feel of his skin against yours and the sound of his voice.

Erwin opens his mouth to speak, apologize, beg for forgiveness, something, but his words fall flat and he’s left looking like an idiot in front of his own house. You stand in awkward silence, your fingers tapping against the door.

Your head turns at the sound of crying, and you see Marie pick Benjamin up, softly cooing at him. She stands, rocking the baby and quietly shushing him.

“Is that . . .” Erwin doesn’t get to finish his sentence because you’ve already left the doorway, reaching out for Benjamin and cradling him in your arms.

Erwin takes a slow step into his house, not knowing what to do with himself. Marie stands to the side, lost in thought and biting her nails. She turns her head when she hears Erwin’s footsteps, and her nose crinkles at the sight of him.

She looks away before Erwin can think anything of it.

You sit in a chair, quietly talking in an attempt to calm Benjamin. You softly stroke his cheek with your thumb and hold him close to you, thinking about why he might be upset before his cries slowly come to a stop.

He just wanted your attention.

That seems to be a common thread in this small family.

You glance over at Erwin as you hold your son against your chest, not knowing how to feel as he watches you. Benjamin tugs on your hair, and you turn your head to get it out of his hand before he puts it in his mouth.

Erwin comes up behind you, quietly and cautiously. He puts a hand on your shoulder, and you might be mad at him—so incredibly pissed at the audacity of your husband—but God you would be lying if you said his touch didn’t still make you swoon.

You try your best to ignore Erwin’s touch, anything to show that his actions have consequences and he can’t expect you to just forgive him so easily. Except no matter how hard you try you can’t help but lean into his burning touch. Because it had been so long since you had this skin to skin contact, and it felt so good.

You glance up at Marie, discreetly telling her with your eyes that she should leave for a bit. You wordlessly bicker, but finally she rolls her eyes and leaves, announcing her plans to go to the market.

Erwin waits until the front door closes before he sits in the chair beside yours. His arm rests against the table, his hand closed in a fist as he rubs the pads of his forefinger and thumb together.

He watched you interact with his son. He takes note of the small smile you give when he laughs, tired eyes crinkling at the corners. You reach for a handmade doll on the table, showing it to Benjamin before he takes it from your grasp and begins gnawing at its head. You lay him on the table, fingers gently running across his stomach to draw giggles from him.

“What’s his name?” Erwin asks, which was such a stupid thing to do because you turn your attention away from Benjamin and look at Erwin with a faded smile. He can see it in your eyes, every time you lose just a little bit of faith in him. Even when he can’t physically see you, he always closes his eyes to see your look of defeat every time he writes a letter telling you he won’t be coming home for longer than expected.

“I told you in the letters.” Letters that Erwin doesn’t read. Every time he gets a new one he smiles and sets it on his bed as a reminder to read it later. But he never does, because some pathetic excuse makes itself present.

He realizes now that he really should read your letters.

“Right.” He nods, running his hand over the lower half of his face in an attempt to look like he’s thinking.

Your eyes move away from him, going back to your baby’s wandering gaze as he looks up at the ceiling.

“It’s Benjamin,” you softly say. “I hope you like it.”

Erwin stares at your face. He thinks the soft smile that paints itself on your lips is beautiful, but it’s not directed at him. That breaks his heart just a little bit because barely even a year ago the brightest smile he had ever seen came from you when you got married.

And now, he isn’t even part of the reason your smile seems so radiant and proud.

Benjamin yawns, his eyes drooping as he continues gnawing on the head of his doll. You glance out the window as the sound of a church bell fills the air, counting how many times it rings before the last sounds dissipate from the air.

You stand, carefully picking Benjamin up as you push in your chair. “It’s about time for him to nap,” you simply said, glancing up at Erwin. “Do you want to . . ?”

You leave the question floating in the air, unfinished. You aren’t even sure if you should have asked, but you’re glad that you did when Erwin hesitantly nods.

Your lips slightly curl, not enough for Erwin to notice, but enough for you to think you might still be in love with him.

You hold Benjamin close to you, resting his head against your chest and lightly tapping his bottom to the beat of your heart. You learned rather quickly that made him go out like a light whenever he was tired, and soon enough you were taking careful steps to your bedroom where his crib waited.

Erwin followed, quietly marveling at the way you gingerly lay Benjamin in the crib, your touch lingering on his face as you smooth down his eyebrow before pulling away.

Hardly even four months old and your son already has eyebrows that resemble his father’s.

You feel Erwin’s eyes boring into you, and you turn your head. He stands hesitantly in the doorway, tapping his fingers against the frame. You beckon him to come closer, and he does. He takes silent steps across the wooden floor and stands beside you, looking down at his sleeping son for the first time.

A pang goes through his heart, because God how could he ever let you deal with this on your own. Sure, Anastasia and Marie had come to help, but that should have been him. It should have been his hand you squeezed instead of Anastasia’s as you gave birth, and it should have been him that you spent your days with instead of alone or with Marie.

But no. So far the only thing he had provided for you was tears, and he realizes then that he must have been the reason you were crying when you opened the door for him.

You allow your gaze to rest on him as he gazes down at your baby. Your eyes trail along his silhouette, following the outline of his nose and lips. He’s still tall and handsome as ever, and you hope that’s something about him that will never change.

“Why did you knock?” you whisper. Erwin tears his gaze away from Benjamin. Standing this close to him, you can see the specks of brown that circle his pupils in both eyes.

Erwin swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing as he speaks. “I wasn’t sure that I was welcome.”

It’s silent after he says that. You take his hand, running your thumb across his knuckles. “This is your house, too. You’re always welcome. No matter what.”

Erwin squeezes your hand and that’s when you notice the roughness of his fingertips. You notice his jaw is clenched when he isn’t speaking and the way he runs a hand through his neat hair in visible distress.

He lets out a shaky exhale. “I’m so sorry. I promised I would be there.”

“You should have been. But you’re here now.” It’s silent for a moment, and you decide you should probably step out of the room before you accidentally wake Benjamin.

You close the door behind you, leaving it open a bit to let air travel through the room but also to hear if Benjamin wakes up.

“Please try to make an effort,” you say once the two of you had started walking down the hall. “I know that being a scout is demanding and obviously you have more important things to worry about, but you have a son now. You need to be in his life at least a little bit.”

You resumed your former seat at the table, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair as Erwin sat beside you. “If Anastasia can manage to visit me every now and then I’m sure you can, too.”

Erwin nods, and a silent agreement is made. You two sit in silence before you stand up and grab a bunch of fabric and needles, beginning to work on them at the table. He watches you work, takes note of the way you hardly even wince when you accidentally stab yourself, and he wonders how he could ever leave you again.

—

When Erwin holds Benjamin for the first time, he thinks that maybe he was never meant to be a dad.

Because Benjamin starts squirming and crying and pushing his father away, and Erwin is scared he’ll drop him before you take him in your arms.

“He’s like that with everyone. He just- He needs to get used to you,” you say, choosing your last words carefully. Except it didn’t really matter what you said, because he could still feel his heart crack.

He watches you rub Benjamin’s arm, muttering nonsense to him as you smile. You stand so close to Erwin that he can feel the heat of your skin through his clothes, and he can’t help but tentatively put a hand around your waist to pull you even closer.

And, by some miracle from god, you let him. As foolish as it might be, you lean into his touch and give him a soft smile, turning your body so Benjamin is closer to his father.

You might be frustrated with your husband, but that doesn’t mean your child should be unfamiliar with his own flesh and blood.

You softly take Erwin’s hand, lifting it so it enters Benjamin’s field of vision. He takes it, squeezing Erwin’s pointer finger in his small hand.

“That’s your daddy,” you say, and you think that Erwin must think you’re crazy for talking to someone that can’t even understand you yet. You laugh when Benjamin puts Erwin’s finger in his mouth, gnawing at it like he does with everything else.

Erwin’s heart swells, because Benjamin looks up and leans back, his head falling on Erwin’s chest. Erwin swears he’s never felt anything like he did when he looked down, seeing Benjamin’s big eyes looking up at him.

“Daddy’s been gone for a while, but he’ll be here more often,” you say, smiling. “He’ll have to leave a lot, but he’ll always be back, I promise. And you’ll love him.” You pause, leaning forward to leave a soft kiss on Benjamin’s forehead. “Just like I do.”

Because you do. Anything he does will end up being forgiven because you love him that much.

Marie came back hours later It was right before the sun had started to set, and you and Erwin were sitting close together on the couch. Erwin was smiling down at Benjamin, and you were staring at Erwin. You had a small smile on your face, and Marie remembers thinking that you forgave him too easily.

Later that night, when Benjamin had been put to bed and it was about time you go to sleep as well, you’re hesitant to change in front of Erwin. There are stretch marks on your stomach and breasts that you wish you didn’t have, and you don’t want your husband to see you as any less because of them.

So you change facing away from him, but once your blouse is off he slips his hands around your waist and kisses the top of your head. He presses his face into your hair, taking a deep breath.

“I am so sorry,” he whispers. “So, so sorry that I ever left you alone. I promised I would put you first, and I didn’t.”

You froze, because you hadn’t expected him to be so close. You hold your blouse to your chest, hoping the action is subtle enough to hide yourself.

“Thank you for giving me another chance,” Erwin continues. He slowly turns you around, making you tilt your head up to make eye contact with him. He takes your hands in his, bringing them to his lips and softly kissing your knuckles. “I’ll be better this time. I swear it.”

“You said that last time.”

“I know. But I mean it this time. I’ll take the breaks I’m given and spend time with you and Benjamin.”

You sigh, slipping your hands out of his. Your head hurts, and you lift a hand to press against your forehead in an attempt to relieve the pain.

But Erwin’s fingers ghost over your waist and you know you fucked up because now he saw the stretch marks and there’s no covering or hiding them and God he’s not going to think you’re pretty anymore and-

“What are these?” he asks, his eyes traveling up to meet yours. “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, taking a deep breath to clear your thoughts as you toss your blouse in a pile of dirty clothes. “No. It’s, uhm, it’s from being pregnant. They’re just stretch marks, it’s nothing.”

Sometimes Erwin knows exactly what you’re thinking. Sometimes he’ll be able to pinpoint exactly how you’re feeling and why, and you can never figure out why he doesn’t use that ability all the time.

This was one of those times, because he leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to your temple and said, “You’re gorgeous, darling.”

And that just made you feel like you could rule the world.

—

Erwin held up on his promise. He came home when he was supposed to and stayed for as long as possible before leaving again. You had started to become the perfect family you wanted to be, finally having the husband you had married and the unexpected life you had come to love.

You had watched your son grow together, a few years passing before he was already looking up to his father. Benjamin decided at a young age that he was going to join the military, hoping to join the same branch as Erwin and to one day serve under him.

There were times, of course, that Erwin brought his work home and worked tirelessly at the dining table. He would wave you off when you talked to him while he was working, but he always made sure to pay attention when Benjamin wanted to show or tell him something.

Sure, he might not have been the husband you were originally hoping for, but he was the best father you could have asked him to be and you were grateful for that. He was patient and kind and understanding, and when Benjamin brought up his dreams to Erwin one night at dinner, Erwin looked up from his papers. He stared at Benjamin for a moment before he cracked a smile.

He had stacked his papers, putting them to the side and directing all his attention to Benjamin. You had smiled, but some sinking feeling in your heart made you hesitant to agree when Erwin said he’d teach Benjamin how to become a Scout. But you didn’t want to be that person. You wanted your son to know that you would always support him, no matter how old he was.

But maybe wanting to join the Scout Regiment at the young age of five wasn’t the brightest idea.

“He’ll be fine, darling. It’s probably just a phase he’ll grow out of in a couple weeks, if even that long.”

You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning against him as he massaged your shoulders. You’d been stressing over this so much you hadn’t even allowed yourself time to change into more comfortable clothes. “But he’s five. I’m scared that if we feed into this he won’t grow out of it and then it’ll all spiral into this big thing.”

Erwin softly laughs, kissing the back of your head. “You just said he’s five. Plenty of five-year-olds go through a million phases of what they want to be when they grow up.”

“Most parents shrug it off, though. You’re actually going to be involved in trying to help him achieve this goal.”

Erwin’s hands travel down your arms, grabbing your hand and spinning you around. He softly kisses your lips. “I won’t teach him anything actually useful. It’ll be more like playful roughhousing.”

You let out a breath. Something was telling you this was a bad idea, but you weren’t sure if it was a genuine gut feeling or just the anxiety of a mother. But you do give in, because you trust your husband to keep your son safe and keep him in line.

“Alright.” Erwin kisses you again, slow and carefully like he used to. You hum when you feel his hands on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, and you softly gasp when he lifts you up effortlessly.

You say his name, but it barely comes out as a breath. He sits on the bed, placing you in his lap so you straddle him. Your skirt had bunched up around your hips, and you softly gasped when you felt that he was hard.

Your eyes fluttered shut as he began kissing your neck, starting at the empty space behind your ear and slowly moving down to the hollow of your throat. His hands traced along your torso, slowly undoing the laces holding your dress together.

The room heats up as you begin peeling each other’s clothes off. Your breaths are hot as you exchange steamy kisses, quietly moaning against each other.

“What about Benjamin?” you ask, now lying bare beneath him. You undo the last button on his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and tossing it to the side. You smile as he kisses you, running your hands across his shoulders and along the hard planes of his chest.

“He was rather adamant about sleeping on his own tonight,” Erwin says against your collarbone. “I think we can do something before he realizes he can’t do it.”

You softly laugh, humming as he kisses your lips again. He moves your hands so they’re above your head, holding them down by your wrists as his other ghosts along your side. The touch makes you shudder in anticipation, every single nerve ending in your body catching fire and giving you goosebumps.

You gasp when you feel his middle finger slide up your slit, teasing you by dragging it along painfully slow. Erwin was always so attentive, always such a fast learner that stored information for later use.

You’re thankful for that, because the way his thumb draws circles on your clit as he pushes a finger inside makes you hope you’ll actually have an orgasm this time.

Your breath hitches as he slowly thrusts his finger inside, bent and gliding along your walls. You press your lips together, muffling a moan when you feel his ring finger poke at your entrance before entering as well. You can feel the wedding band on his finger, the coldness of it a stark contrast to everything else. It makes you keen his name just a bit too loud, and Erwin stops all movement to listen.

After a moment where nothing happens, he shushes you. “We can’t have Benjamin walking in, can we?”

You shake your head, looking up at him with pleading eyes. His fingers curl inside you again and he chuckles at the soft gasp that leaves your lips.

"We have to be quiet, my love,” he whispers against your lips. “I don’t want you making any loud sounds.”

You let out a breath as he removes his fingers, and you watch as he lifts his hand to his mouth and drags his tongue across his fingers. You feel hot under his piercing gaze, feeling so needy and weak. He cracks a smile as you squirm under him, hoping to alleviate some of the tension you’re feeling.

He lets go of your wrist to straighten himself out. You watch as he unbuckles his belt, slipping it out of the loops and his hand. The buckle clangs against the floor, making both you and Erwin freeze and listen.

“What happened to being quiet?” you tease, a smile playing on your lips.

The tips of his ears turn red as he unbuttons his pants and takes them off. He lets them fall on the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes before he’s on top of you again, pressing his lips to yours in a slow sensual kiss that leaves you lightheaded.

“What do you want, darling?” he mumbles between kisses. His hands had gone back between your legs, the tips of his fingers giving slow strokes to your pussy that made it hard to focus.

“I-I want you inside me,” you say, softly gasping when he removes his fingers and pokes his tip at your entrance. “Please.”

“How could I say no to my pretty wife?” he muses, pushing in just the tip. That alone was enough to have you softly moaning, and Erwin kisses you again to muffle your noises.

He continued to gradually push in, stopping when his hips were flush against yours to let you adjust. When you finally nod, practically begging him to move he slowly pulls back before pushing inside again.

It makes you shudder, your hair standing on end as he slowly thrusts into you. You long for more—you want him to fill you completely and make you feel the same way you did your first night together.

And maybe, you want the product again.

“Erwin, I want another baby.” It barely comes out as a whisper, but your words make your husband’s thrusts falter.

“You want another one?” His breath is hot against your neck as you nod, your fingers entwining with his. He plants openmouthed kisses against you, and the way he suddenly hits against that one spot inside leaves you breathless.

You moan just a bit too loud, biting down on your lip to silence yourself. Erwin lets out an amused breath, but he finds himself holding back a groan as he comes closer and closer to the edge.

“I’ll give you that baby if you’re quiet,” he says. It barely registers because this just feels so different than the first time and you aren’t sure how to string together a proper sentence. You simply nod, closing your eyes as the bedframe silently creaks with every movement.

“The bed,” you softly remind, your breath catching.

“I know, I know. We’re almost there, love. Almost . . .”

He groans against you, and you would remind him that you needed to stay quiet if your head weren’t in the clouds.

He comes first, his warm cum filling you so much it starts to drip out. He keeps going, though, determined to get his wife to finish around his cock no matter how long it takes.

And it doesn’t take long, because Erwin brings his hand down to where you’re connected and starts rubbing slow, languid circles on your clit.

You gasp, going silent as you clench around him. Erwin slows his thrusts, riding out your high with you until you’re nothing more than a puddle beneath him. Your chest rises and falls with every breath your take, your nipples brushing against his as you gather yourselves.

“Think we can go again?” he quietly jokes, making you chuckle.

Erwin slips out of you, pushing himself off the bed and grabbing you a comfortable nightdress to change into while he grabs a towel to clean you up and a glass of water.

You don’t move for a moment after he leaves, a soft smile on your face as you replay the scene in your head, thinking that maybe you can be the loving family you wanted.

—

You listen to Benjamin’s story intently, laughing when he tells you about his new friend Alexander and something he did. He hasn’t been able to stop talking about him, his eyes wide and excited whenever he so much as mentions Alexander.

The day is warm, the bright sun beating down on everyone outside. You keep the front door open to let fresh air pass through your house, so you notice when Erwin walks in. He takes slow, heavy steps, closing the door behind him and sitting at the dining table.

Benjamin immediately jumps up next to him, greeting Erwin with a smile and sparkling eyes. Erwin smiles back, ruffling Benjamin’s hair. You can tell the smile is forced, though. He doesn’t want to be bothered and you don’t want him to be more overwhelmed than he is, so you step closer and softly place your hand on Benjamin’s back.

“Why don’t you go out, sweetheart?” you say kindly. “ Try and make new friends, yeah?”

Benjamin nods, seemingly excited by the idea and already on his way to the door. He leaves it open behind him, knocking it into the wall with a quick “Sorry!” before he runs off. You shake your head and roll your eyes, deciding to leave it open while you begin brewing tea for Erwin.

He’s silent, his gaze fixated on the hole in the table. You turn to glance at him as you boil the water, the silence so unbearable you have to talk.

“Benjamin made a new friend.” The kettle whistles, so you pour its contents into a tea cup and put a tea bag in it, waiting for it to steep. “It’s the neighbor’s kid—Alexander I think his name is? He introduced me yesterday before he ran off with him. He seems nice, I’m glad Benjamin finally found-”

“Anastasia’s dead.”

You pause, the words you were saying dying on your tongue as you processed Erwin’s words. Your hands fell to the counter, trying to find something to ground yourself.

“What?” Your voice was quiet, small, barely anything more than a squeak.

“She- A titan got her while we were out and-” Erwin paused, clearing his throat. If he said anything else after that you weren’t listening, your mind clouding with images of Anastasia trying her best to escape the titan’s hold. You imagined her kicking and screaming and-

Tears rolled down your cheeks and you choked out a sob. You bent over the counter, gripping your hair from the roots and pulling. Your breath escaped you, and you found it increasingly difficult to gather yourself.

You crumpled to the floor, leaning against the counter. Your tears were so hot, practically burning your cheeks as they fell. Your clothes suddenly felt too tight and you were suffocating. You gave yourself a headache with how hard you pulled on your hair, trying to give yourself something else to cry about but only adding more pain.

So hot and uncomfortable and your heart hurts and you just want everything to stop. Stop stop stop.

You’re not sure how long you were there, just you and Erwin in the dining room mourning. It wasn’t until you heard Benjamin giggling outside the door with his friend that you gathered yourself. You choked on deep breaths as you stood, facing the wall and wiping your eyes.

You slowly exhaled just as Benjamin walked through the door. He spoke loudly with Alexander, speaking nonsense you couldn’t understand until you took another deep breath and listened.

“No, I’m going to join the Scouts and become the best Scout like Dad and then everyone will love me!” Benjamin threw his hands up, causing Alexander to throw his hands up as well. They both cheered loudly as you closed your eyes, trying to stop the flow of more tears.

Something in the air shifted. Your eyes met Erwin’s and a silent agreement was made.

No child of yours was joining the military. You didn’t care how much they hated you, you would not risk the loss of anyone you love.

—

Anastasia’s death is what led to the second rut of your marriage, and something told you this one would be harder to get out of.

Erwin was hardly ever home, and even when he was he was working. He had made the spare room into an office, spending every hour he could looking over maps and writing in journals and doing god knows what.

You couldn’t get his attention. No matter what you did you never got more than a half-assed, “I’m busy,” or “Tell me later.”

You cried and cried and cried, and it got to the point where you weren’t sure if you were mourning the loss of your friend or because you were so painfully lonely.

You and Benjamin slept in the same bed, and every night you held him close in hopes of feeling just a little less lonely. He would stay there even when Erwin was home and the three of you shared a bed.

It was only a downward spiral, a cycle of tears and pain. You had confirmed you were pregnant again once you started showing, and your anxiety steadily grew as the months came and went. You weren’t sure if Erwin would be there when this baby was born, so you did everything in your power to make sure you, at least, would be ready.

You might not have been entirely on your own, but Benjamin was five. You don’t think a five-year-old is the best way to cope.

You would talk to Marie, but at some point she had gone off and eloped with Nile, practically leaving you in the dust. You had no idea where she was or what she was doing.

And God, you would rather be eaten by a titan a hundred times over before you ever even considered contacting your parents. You had barely thought about them since you ran off in the middle of the night. Besides, they likely didn’t even consider you their daughter anymore.

So you were stuck with nowhere to put your grief and no one to talk to. You kept it bottled up until Benjamin was out with his friends. That was when you would break down, screaming and crying in your bedroom.

You’re genuinely surprised when Erwin comes back, strolling into the house in the middle of the night without a care in the world. Benjamin was staying the night with Alexander, which left you completely alone in a cold house.

You only realized it was Erwin when the first place he went was his office. You heard him sigh, dropping papers on his desk. He stayed in there for what seemed like hours before you finally got the gall to walk in. He did nothing more than look over his shoulder, hardly even acknowledging your presence before he continued his work.

You purse your lips, biting your tongue to stop whatever pathetic sound you might have let out.

“Nice to see you,” you say. You try to put venom in it, you try so desperately to convey how hurt you are to him with those four words. But it comes out quiet, voice cracking halfway through.

“I’m busy.” As always. His response to everything you say.

“No you’re not. It’s the middle of the night, Erwin.” You see his hand stop, the grip he held on his pen slightly tightening. “What could you possibly have to do that keeps you so busy at all hours of the day?”

“I just have work, okay, Y/n? You wouldn’t understand.”

Your heart drops. Your eyes slightly widen at the sharpness of his tone. You had heard him use that tone with others before, but you never thought he’d use it with you. And he’d called you by your name.

Your eyes burn, making you wonder if you’ve always been this irrationally sensitive. You move your gaze to the ceiling as you clenched a fist, taking a deep breath.

You’re so done. So done. And you don’t know if it’s because you’re pregnant but you just hurt so bad. Your heart has been broken a million times over and you’re so tired of constantly tearing up and crying but you can’t stop.

You swallow, hoping that’ll ground you and make your voice steady. “You have ten minutes to come to bed or I’m leaving.”

You know you won’t. Erwin knows you won’t. Everyone knows the threat is empty, but you make it anyway. You turn around and walk back to the bedroom, fighting the urge to hit the wall and scream.

You allow yourself exactly four minutes to sob and pull your hair and pace the floor and do whatever you want before pulling yourself together. After those four minutes, you sit straight on the edge of the bed with your eyes closed. You take slow, calculated breaths in, doing the same when you exhale.

You know you just told the biggest, most obvious lie in the world, so it genuinely shocks you when Erwin comes into the bedroom exactly ten minutes after you had told him.

Your eyes follow him as he moves, and you watch as he slips out of his military uniform and into more comfortable clothes. He sits on the opposite side of the bed, and the two of you just stay there, back to back and unmoving. You rub your hands together and sigh, hoping that breaks the uncomfortable silence of the room.

It doesn’t. There is not a single sound in the world.

“If it’s a girl I want to name her Anastasia,” you suddenly say. You hear his sharp intake of breath and feel the bed shift as he leans forward. It’s another moment of silence, and you’re just about to give up and lay down before Erwin talks.

“I like it. We’ll call her Anya.”

You nod. The unbearable silence returns. It seems like forever until you decide to lay down, Erwin following your lead.

Neither of you move closer to the other. You stay on your respective sides of the bed, facing away from each other as sleep overtakes you.

Your bed has never felt colder.

—

He stays longer that time, though most of the two weeks are spent in his office. Benjamin coops himself up with him, always silently playing or drawing on the floor beside his father’s desk.

It gives you no chance to let your emotions out. It feels like you’ve been pregnant forever when in reality it’s only been five months. Benjamin’s birthday comes before you even know what day it is, and you’re forced to quickly string together cornbread with frosting and a present for him.

Benjamin’s sixth birthday was the first one Erwin missed—not counting the day he was born.

You were seething, and later that night when your son had gone to bed you have an argument.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that? Our son fucking adores you. He wants to be just like you when he grows up, but I don’t even think he knows who you are.”

“Of course he knows who I am. He knows enough to be able to look up to me.”

“That is the most bullshit thing I’ve ever heard. He knows the idea of you. He knows the mask you put on in front of him the one day a month you’re home. He’s too young to understand that what you do isn’t okay.”

“The Survey Corps is low on soldiers. It’s not my fault they constantly need people working.”

“Then at least take a break when you’re home. Your work doesn’t always need to come home with you! You need to spend time with your son-”

“You don’t even know what goes on in the Survey Corps so how can you say-”

“You literally only look at maps! That’s all you fucking do, how is that-”

“The formation we have in place now for expeditions is shit, I’m trying to-”

“Do that on your own goddamn time! Do that while you’re away, Erwin. I will not let Benjamin grow up without a father because you are too fucking dense to realize-”

Something breaks, and you immediately pause what you were saying and turn your head.

Benjamin stands there, looking down at the glass he broke with wide eyes. You immediately calm down, taking a deep breath as Benjamin looks up.

“Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to.” You walk over to him, quietly shushing him and petting his hair away from his face.

“It’s okay, my love. Accidents happen.” You softly smile, your expression and voice a sharp contrast to what it was just a moment ago. You kiss the top of his head. “Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt?”

He shakes his head, slightly leaning into you. “Mommy, why were you and Daddy yelling at each other?”

You exhale a breath through your nose. You hoped that argument would have been quietly dealt with. “Sometimes Mommy and Daddy just need to yell to feel better. Everyone does.” You leave another kiss on his head, letting go of him to start picking up the broken glass.

“I’ve got that,” Erwin said. He took two steps before kneeling down, carefully collecting the shards in his hand. You watch as Benjamin steps around the glass, kissing Erwin on the cheek.

“You and Mommy shouldn’t fight because it’s bad.” You watch Erwin’s lips curve up, and he turns his head. He pulls Benjamin closer with the hand not holding glass, kissing the side of his head.

“We won’t fight anymore.”

You smile as they continue talking, carefully standing up. You stretch, taking Benjamin by the hand and walking with him to your bedroom. You tuck him into bed, laying beside him and entwining your hands with his.

“Mommy, I’m sorry about breaking the glass,” he says.

Your eyebrows furrowed together, and you push his hair out of his face. “Why? It was an accident, so it’s alright.”

“But I did it on purpose.”

You prop yourself up on your arm, looking down at Benjamin. He plays with a fraying string on his pajamas, avoiding eye contact. “Why’d you break it on purpose?”

“You and Daddy were getting loud and saying mean words. And I don’t wanna see you guys yelling.”

Your face softens as you lay back down, wrapping an arm around Benjamin and pulling him close. “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. Sometimes we just get mad at each other.”

Benjamin nods, cuddling into your side. “Were you angry because of me?”

Your face falls, and you quickly try to reassure your son. “No, no, no, darling. Of course not. We weren’t mad because of you. We will never be mad because of you, okay?”

You kiss his head as he nods again. He wraps his arms around you, hiding his face in your chest. “Okay.”

You run your hand through his hair, smoothing down the brown locks until you hear his breathing even out. You let out a sigh as you listen to his breaths, looking up when you hear Erwin’s soft footsteps. You watch him run a hand through his hair and look away when he turns to face you.

He lays down, letting out a heavy breath as he stares at the ceiling.

“He thinks we were mad because of him,” you softly say, whispering so you don’t wake your sleeping son.

Erwin turns his head, his thick eyebrows pulled together. “Did you tell him it wasn’t because of him?”

You nod. Benjamin stays sound asleep in your arms as a moment of silence passes.

“The formation we had on the expedition Anastasia died in wasn’t working.” You glance up, moving your gaze from your sleeping son to your husband’s side profile. “It was vulnerable, and it put certain people in really bad spots. Anastasia ended up in one of those places, and . . .” He trails off, making a vague motion with his hand. “I’m trying to come up with something else to use because it’s always the same spots that get targeted. I’m hoping that with a different formation and way of communicating everyone will be safer.”

You softly hum. You almost hate yourself in the silence that follows because his reasons are so valid.

But then you remember the pain—the heartbreak and longing to just be with him—and decide you can’t just wave it off with that simple explanation because you’ve spent too many tears on this.

You don’t respond, letting the heavy silence of the room speak for you.

The bed shifts, squeaking as Erwin readjusts and wraps his arm around both you and Benjamin. You can feel the hard planes of his torso against your arm, warm and inviting.

This, you think, is the closest this family will ever be.

—

When you woke up that next morning, Erwin had already left.

You were fine with that. Whatever. It was less silent arguments you had to worry about. You could go back to bottling your emotions until you were alone.

He came back every so often over the course of the next four months. He would come back for two or three days before leaving for weeks again and repeat that in a never ending cycle you were beginning to grow tired of.

You weren’t sure if he had planned it or if it was just dumb luck, but he was there on December 29 when your second child was born—a precious baby girl with big blue eyes.

You named her Anastasia just like you said you would. You had no hope that she would keep Erwin home this time, but it’s a breath of fresh air when you wake up early from her crying and Erwin is there, coddling his child and coaxing her back to sleep.

What surprised you even more was that he stayed for four weeks after that, not even leaving before he had breakfast with his family and kissed each of your heads. His lips pressed against your temple the longest, leaving a lingering kiss that you could feel even hours after he had gone.

That kiss sent you for a ride because he had kissed you. He’d given you attention, something you had longed that he give you for months and he finally had!

You kept a giddy smile on your face all day, but then you remembered that he was gone once again and probably would be for months.

More tears streamed down your cheeks daily, and Jesus Christ you just wanted to stop hurting. Erwin never sent any letters or warning and that often left you wondering if he had died on an expedition. Every time that thought crossed your mind you were sent into a spiral, and you weren’t sure if it was even the thought of losing the man you loved that made you so sad.

You didn’t know if it was that or the fact that you would truly be lost without him—because you wouldn’t know who to be if he wasn’t alive. You had spent so much time crying over him that you didn’t even know what else you were capable of. So much energy had been wasted mourning who even knows what and nothing had come out of it.

One week in February—one so cold everyone slept huddled together with a fire burning at all times—you dug up the old letters Erwin had written you.

It was early in the morning. Benjamin and Anya were still sleeping, so you moved quietly and made as little noise as you could. You took the box out from under your bed and sat by the fire, reading every word in the light it provided.

You don’t know how many times you read each one, but the more you read them the less they seemed like extravagant letters pieced together carefully to make you fall in love. They lost their luster and everything that made them surreal. Now they were just pretty words without any real meaning behind them.

Tears burn in your eyes because he promised so many things. He’d promised a happy family and to wholly belong to you only to give you nothing. He’d manipulated his words to make you fall for him and god you were so stupid for doing that.

Did he ever really like you? Maybe he had just given you attention and you misinterpreted it for love.

Whatever the answer might be, there was nothing you could do now. Your main source of income was the check you received because of your husband, and your original plan of starting some sort of business had gone down the drain once Benjamin had become older.

Even if you did want to leave, nothing good would come of it. You had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. And where would that put your kids?

You read over the letters once more. Your lips pressed together and it just makes you so mad because why would he do this? How could he just leave you on your own like this? Sure, he provided for the family but how could he ever spend more time with sheets of paper than his wife?

The first letter Erwin wrote gets slightly crumpled from how tight you grip it. You look back down at it, you gaze flickering to the fire before you do something you can’t undo.

You tear the paper up, every single word memorized, and toss it into the fire.

And God it felt good. A nice little ‘fuck you’ Erwin would never know about. But you knew about it, and just that much made you feel like you could do anything.

So you took another letter and tore it, slowly feeding the pieces to the fire. And you kept doing that, over and over, the feeling of self-satisfaction bringing a smile to your face.

“Mom? What are you burning?”

You turn your head. Benjamin was propped up on his arm, squinting in your direction as his eyes adjusted to the light.

“Nothing, my love,” you said, tearing the final letter and tossing it in the fire. “Just old mail. Nothing important.”

You stood up, wiping your hands against your nightgown. you made your way to the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for whatever you could find to make breakfast.

Benjamin’s eyes followed you, eventually returning to the fire in front of him. He looked at the burning pieces of paper, wondering what they really were before he stood up, going to get dressed.

As you served plates for both you and Benjamin, you looked up at the cackling fire. And as you thought about the way you felt when you opened that first letter, you regretted what you had done just a little bit.

But you were tired of hurting. You were tired of crying all the time, and you were tired of wasting energy on something that won’t happen.

You promise yourself right then that you’re done wasting tears on Erwin. You’re done exhausting yourself just to get a tiny amount of attention from him.

And you do so good. You raise your kids well and any tears you shed aren’t sad or because of your husband. You get back into touch with Marie and find out she’s had a daughter and is pregnant again. You force yourself to seem fine around Erwin and you become so good at acting okay that you begin believing it yourself.

Until four years later, when Benjamin is 11 and comes home one day announcing that he leaves for the training corps in a week.

—

You were livid. More than you’ve ever been.

Benjamin had enlisted with the help of Erwin, managing to keep the entire thing secret from you until one of the last possible moments.

This was supposed to be a phase he grew out of—a quick thing he was hyper fixated on for a few days before he moved onto the next thing and never thought about it again.

You thought he’d gotten over it when he was five because you hadn’t heard a single thing about it over the years. He was always clinging to Erwin when he was home, but you just assumed it was because he wanted his father’s attention. You never would have imagined that they filled the paperwork out together, preparing your son for the military without so much as asking your opinion.

Erwin wasn’t home for three days after your son had announced it, and during those three days your anger only grew and you felt so tired of feeling this way.

"You can't just do this without talking to me! He's my son and-"

"He's my son, too, Y/n. You aren't the only one that needs to know what he's doing with his life."

"But I should still know! This is still something that-"

"Mom, you've known that this is something I've been wanting to do."

"You haven't said anything about joining the military since you were four, Benjamin. And then suddenly you just walk in announcing that you’re leaving-"

“He’s allowed to be his own person.”

“Obviously, but it’d be nice if-”

“You never would have heard me out or let me anyway-”

“Will you two shut up and let me talk?” you snap. They both immediately stop talking, Benjamin’s mouth slightly dropped in shock. You wait a second, making sure neither of them had anything else to say before you turned to Benjamin and continued speaking. “Go watch your sister outside.”

“But-”

“I said”—your tone hardens, voice raising—“go watch your sister. I’ll talk to you in a minute.”

Benjamin huffs, rolling his eyes before leaving the room and muttering something under his breath. You would have gotten onto him for it if you weren’t so focused on the man in front of you.

“Erwin, you can’t do this shit without telling me,” you say firmly. You pin him with your gaze, sitting at the dining table with him. “He’s my son and I think I deserve to know when he volunteers himself to go on a fucking suicide mission.”

“He won’t die out there, Y/n. He’ll get the proper training and learn the proper precautions to deal with everything.”

“Every soldier gets trained and learns how to deal with titans, but how many are still alive?”

You furrow your eyebrows in mock confusion. Erwin gets stunned into silence, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he thinks of a retort.

“Anastasia was properly trained and she still died. Benjamin is going to die out there and you think it’s okay to fill out the paperwork with him without even telling me? In what world is that okay?”

“This is something Benjamin’s wanted for years. He never brought it up to you after Anastasia died because he didn’t think you’d like it.”

“Of course I wouldn’t have! But you know what I still would have done? I would have sat down, and had a talk with him to see if this was something he actually wanted to do and I would have supported him anyways because I love him.”

“Then why can’t you show that same support now, Y/n? You say you would have heard him out but you’re so pissed after finding out he enlisted.”

“Because I didn’t know about it!” Your voice cracks, and suddenly your eyes are burning and your composure breaks and now you’re crying. “You never tell me shit, Erwin. I never get so much as a letter from you to know that you’re okay and I’m left wondering for months when your commander is going to come knocking on my door to tell me you’re dead. And the worst part is I’m only relieved to see you before I start hating you again because you never take any of us into consideration. Benjamin and Anya do so much just to get you to notice them and you barely even give them a pat on the back. But when Benjamin wants to risk his life just to please you? Why is that what makes you start paying attention to him?”

You hadn’t even realized half of what you were saying. You thought you had taught yourself to be fine when Erwin never sent a sign saying he was alive. You thought you learned how to stay in the middle ground—not in love with him like you were before but not constantly detesting him.

Then again, if you were in the middle ground then surely it wouldn’t hurt this bad, right?

The room is silent, the only sound being your heavy pants as you struggle to catch your breath and composure. You look away from Erwin because God this is embarrassing. Even more since he’s just looking at you, his expression unreadable to you as you turn your head and wipe your cheeks.

You sniff, taking a deep breath. You close your eyes and bite the inside of your cheek in an attempt to stop the flow of tears. Finally, after you taste the faint tang of iron in your mouth, you open your eyes and face Erwin again.

He’s always been so handsome. With his high cheekbones and full lips and bushy eyebrows and gorgeous eyes. He had only grown into his features as the years passed, and you always found yourself wondering how he never looked worn out.

It always made you swoon, how handsome he was. Pretty privilege must exist because looking back there is no valid reason you forgave him for everything he did.

“I swear to God, Erwin, if anything happens to him-”

“Y/n, I promise. Nothing is going to happen. We all look out for each other. He will be fine.”

You sighed, closing your eyes as you nodded. You brought a hand up to your face, massaging your temple as you close your eyes. You’re so tired, and you don’t want to deal with this so you just nod.

“Alright. It’s fine. Just . . . Tell me things like this, okay?”

You hate how small your voice sounded, how easily you surrendered, but you wanted nothing more than just a day to rest. You’re so done and tired of everything that happens.

Erwin nods, but you know somewhere deep down that he likely won’t hold up on that promise. You’re scared that by agreeing to this you’ll start mourning someone that hasn’t even died, but you agree anyway.

And maybe, just maybe, you should have put more effort into that argument.

—

Benjamin stood, right fist over his heart with his left behind his back. He stared forward as the instructor gave his welcoming speech, a faint smile on his face.

He was finally here—finally he would be given the chance to impress his dad. He would rise through the ranks and graduate top of his class just like Erwin did. Nothing would stop him. In three years he would check the little box that officially made him a Scout.

That is what he hoped. But after a couple weeks of the same intense training and going to bed on the thin mattress drained beyond belief made him think maybe he didn’t want that.

But he was already here. He had something to prove to his dad and maybe, just maybe, Erwin would pay more attention to him.

So he tried his best. Benjamin spent any spare time he had running laps to build his endurance. Occasionally, he would spar with one of the other cadets. Nine times out of ten he lost, but the very few times he triumphed gave him this burst of motivation that made him feel like this was his destiny.

It seems like the three years he spent in the training corps came and went, and when the time to take the final assessment rolled around he felt unprepared.

He had fumbled—so bad he just barely hooked onto the tree he was aiming for with his ODM gear and nearly fell to the ground. The cut he made on every mock titan was too shallow, and each one felt like a cut to his own heart because he just knew he would not graduate top of his class. Not even close.

Results took months to get back to the cadets, which Benjamin didn’t understand because don’t his superiors grade it as he tests? Surely there’s a better way to decide rankings.

But it didn't matter. He was back home, watching his nine-year-old sister play with her friends Jean and Marco as the anxiety slowly ate away at him. He was always biting his nails, staring off into space until you lightly slapped his hand away from his lips and told him not to.

Those months where he waited for his results were the cruelest he had ever experienced. He had no clue what to do with himself, going on long walks until he was called back. And even then they didn’t give the results right away. 

It was starting to get dark outside, a cold nip coming in the air. Benjamin walked into the dimly lit dining hall, his posture uncharacteristically bad. 

“Oi, Smith.”

Benjamin turned, immediately straightening and searching for whoever had called his name. His gaze landed on an unusually short man with dark hair sitting alone at a table. Benjamin took slow steps and they met in the middle of the hallway.

“You’re Erwin Smith’s son, right?”

Benjamin thought the way he had to look down at the older man was a bit ridiculous. He wasn’t sure how seriously he could take this.

But he keeps a straight face and responds with the proper authority, curtly nodding and saying, “Yes, sir.”

He waits as the man in front of him takes him in, physically moving his head to look Benjamin up and down. “Erwin’s requesting your presence.”

So he sent . . . a cadet? Shouldn’t this guy already be an active member in the military?

Benjamin gives another curt nod. “Where is he?”

“In his office. He asked me to escort you.”

Benjamin nods, following the shorter man when he turns and begins walking in the opposite direction. Their steps are the only sounds that echo in the hallway, creating an uncomfortable silence around them.

“Who are you, again? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you,” Benjamin says, trying to create a running conversation that breaks the silence.

“Levi.”

He kept his response short and curt, and the way he’d said his name made it seem like he intended to end the conversation there.

The name rung a bell in Benjamin’s head, but he couldn’t quite place where he might know it from. It’s another minute of silence as Benjamin rolls the name around in his head before he finally recognizes the name.

“Wait, are you the guy that tried to kill my dad?”

Levi is silent for a moment, acting as if he hadn’t heard the question and instead redirecting the conversation. “How close are you with him?”

“Me and my dad? I mean, I guess we’re pretty close. We talk and stuff.” Benjamin shrugged, slightly relaxing his posture. “We don’t spend a lot of time together since he’s busy a lot of the time, but based on when we do, yeah, I’d say we’re pretty close.”

Levi doesn’t speak as he takes in the information. Truthfully, he hadn’t even known his superior had a child until just today. Erwin and his son must not have been as close as Benjamin believed if that was the case.

But that did make Levi curious about Erwin’s wife.

“What about your parents? They close?”

Benjamin nods. “Yeah. My mom writes Dad letters all the time.”

“You mean the ones he keeps in a box?”

Benjamin almost falters, his heart practically skipping a beat at Levi’s words.

That reaction alone tells Levi everything he needs to know, and the two of them continue walking in silence.

Levi left once they reached the door to Erwin’s office. Benjamin stood in front of it, unmoving as he thought about what Levi had said. Did Erwin really leave your letters in a box?

He finally opens the door. He’s not sure what it is, but immediately his gaze lands on a box set on the bookshelf behind Erwin, a scribble written across it spelling out what Benjamin hopes isn’t your name.

Benjamin sits in the chair across from Erwin’s desk, waiting for him to finish signing paperwork. He puts his pen down, crossing his arms against his desk and leaning forward.

Benjamin isn’t even sure what all his father had called him to talk about. He can only nod along and force all his focus on not letting his eyes drift to the box of unopened letters.

What he’d gathered after he leaves Erwin’s office and looks down at the paper in his hands is that his final test results weren’t what he was hoping for. There was no option to join the Military Police, so he definitely wasn’t in the top ten. And after a self evaluation joining the Scout Regiment seemed out of reach, too . . .

Later that night, when Benjamin is the only one awake in the cadets quarters, he reads over the paper in the dim moonlight. He bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks, picking up a pencil and tapping the tip against his lip.

His pencil hovers over the box, ready to put an X in the one labeled Scouts, but something makes him hesitate. He isn’t the best with ODM gear. His physical prowess definitely isn’t as good as he’d like it to be, and his agility and dexterity could get him killed with how slow he is.He decides he values his life more than his father’s approval, and that is why he moves his pencil down and checks the box labeled Garrison.

Part two y'all, hope you enjoyed <3

next part >>

TAGLIST: @daisynik7 if you’d like to join the taglist for this series or be notified whenever I write for Erwin please leave a comment or DM!

[yikimiki]

I feel like requesting for some CEO erwin who traps reader?

The how, the when, iss all on you

Took me a while to think about the concept of “trapping” here — so I basically went in every possible direction known to man

⚠️ warnings: toxic/dark content!!, vague smut, erwin is very narcissistic and sadistic, CEO!Erwin x MedStudent!Reader, 20 year age gap (25 and 45), manipulation, abusive relationship (emotional, psychological, financial), mentions of pregnancy and baby trapping

—

Erwin’s victory started with a small suggestion — something so bland and unimportant that you didn’t even pay attention to it, but now you deeply wish you could take back. “Why don’t you spend some time away from school? Take less classes. You can stay with me, darling, live a little.”

It was spoken over a glass of wine, in between silly giggles and stupid jokes, lost in the warmth of the candle lights and the dinner in front of you. You and Erwin had been going strong for some time then, almost seven months together, and you had no reason to suspect ill will. So you said yes.

The change was actually very kind to your mental health and, even if you were a semester away from graduating, you decided to step back. Erwin asked you to move in with him, into his beautiful penthouse facing the bay, and you accepted. He suggested that you take the entire rest of the year of to travel with him, and you did. And, when you come back, your education has practically vanished from the forefront of your mind.

You have the intention of coming back to med school, and you tell him so thousands of time — which Erwin politely agrees with. But, at the same time, it is like he always has this great new opportunity for you that stands in the way. “Why don’t we move? You can decorate however you want, darling, I’ll just pay,” or maybe, “Don’t you think going out with your friends has been a little draining? Why don’t we stay together more often, just the two of us?”

To make things worse, Erwin works all the time. He leaves you alone in this humongous, empty, pseudo-modernist house that you can’t stand, doing things you can’t stand — all day long, every day. You clean, you get everything in order, you watch stupid TV shows and you put some pre cooked meal in the oven a little before he comes come. You hate being a housewife, you miss your freedom, your intellectual pursuits in medicine. And, most of all, you miss doing something else.

“I think I’m going back to school,” you say one night over dinner. “I already submitted my information. Just waiting for them to get back to me.”

Erwin places his knife down. And, just like that, it’s like your previous years together never existed.

“To do what, get more debt? Like I’m not paying enough?” He asks — cold, calculated. The room feels like it’s tilting a little. “Do you know how much I spend on you? How much I spent on this house, on everything you bought, and now you want me to just accept another load of cash just… out of my wallet?”

“I’m… I’m not asking you to pay for anything,” it’s all you can say.

He sneers. “Oh, you never ask. But I always do.” Erwin leans back again the chair. “Besides, it’s not like you have the money anyways. So let’s not kid ourselves here — you know I work hard, extra fucking hard, to make you happy. So what is it? Am I not making you happy?”

You blink, not recognizing the man before you anymore. “You make me happy, Erwin. But I need more than this. I miss my life, my friends…”

“Oh, so I’m not enough, is that it?” He gives you this wicked smile that has your stomach clenching. Erwin sighs, disappointed, and gets up from the table. “Let’s do it like this: I’ll leave you alone tonight so you can think about what is it that you want—“

“Wait, no that’s not…”

“—And, tomorrow, when I come back, we can talk better about it,” he finishes. “If you want to go to med school, we can figure it out.”

The night passes in a blur of tears and cries, confused thoughts coming and going in your head. All you can think is that you were raised better than this — better than to lower your expectations for someone else, better than to let someone else dictate your future. But, at the same time, you’re so hurt. Erwin has been your everything for so long now that you don’t even know what you’ll do without him. You don’t have a job, you’re away from family and friends, and you wouldn’t even know where to start he were to kick you out. He is everything you have.

So, next morning, when he shows up with a bouquet at your door, you forgive him. And you swallow your pride and tell him you can wait another year or so to get on your feet.

Erwin seems blissful, and even creates a job at his company for you to make your own money… which he pockets, to take better care of it — because “you don’t know how to invest”. He loves seeing you around every day at work, and you like it too, but you can’t help to feel a little claustrophobic at the way your life has turned into a pendulum between your house and your work. And Erwin. Erwin is always there.

You get tired of suggesting dates with him. Erwin has turned every single comment of yours into an episode of self flagellation — he isn’t good enough, you don’t love him, there’s someone else, you don’t want to be with him. And so you retreat, afraid of more conflict, and let things accumulate.

Erwin’s victory concludes one autumn night, before you even realize there was a game being played. He kisses you like the world is about to end, worships your body like a temple and, at the last minute, suggests that you change just one last thing for him: “what do you think about not taking the pill anymore?”

You hesitate this time, but accept superficially. You keep taking it until it’s over, and you realize that there isn’t a way for you to buy more of it without Erwin realizing it — it’s his card, and he doesn’t give you any extra money. He takes you to and from work. There’s no free time.

So you pray that it won’t happen. For three months after your pause your period doesn’t come, then it resumes, thin and painful, then strong. Erwin fills you up with cum every night, more often than before, because there’s a mission now, there’s a plan in his mind. And you are afraid to say anything else, afraid to sadden him or make him mad, because you feel like without him, you’re nothing. Without him, you don’t even know how you are.

“It’s positive? Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin walks into the living room one day, test in hand. You had thrown it in the trash earlier.

You force a smile, but there are tears in your eyes. “I wanted to make a surprise,” you lie. “Are you happy?”

Erwin smiles. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

[koulakoukoula2003]

Girl how about erwin smith with pregnant s/o

He's VERY gentle with you.

He won't let you do ANY housework. Even when you're at the start of it (the first 3-4 months) and you CAN STILL do stuff like cook and clean and keep the house in a perfect shape.

Yeah, this man won't let you do anything and it's mostly about his ego because "Erwin Smith's wife" is not allowed to do any housework in the first place.

"Erwin Smith's wife" is not a servant, she is royalty and should be treated as such. This man is large, but not just physically, his mindset as well is set on the extremes. Which means that he doesn't mind spending his entire fortune on a 20-member staff to handle the house and the cleaning and cooking so that you'd have nothing to do except sit back nurture your baby growing inside you and just focus on being pretty for him.

But let's be honest, on whatever universe you find this man, he's rich, so he won't be really spending his fortune, this man's got money and he's not hesitating to spend it all on you.

Also, he loves how needier you get. The second he comes home from work he finds you clinging on him and he LOVES THAT. This man NEEDS attention even though he would never admit it. For example, he can be just sitting there, doing paperwork and how dare you have your attention on literally anything else and not him????

He's like I'M RIGHT HERE, AND WAITING TO BE ✨LOVED✨

So imagine how much he loves it when you're hormones are going insane and all you need is him to be around and baby you and spoil you.

Also, he cruddles your belly in the nights 🥺🥺🥺 he's the big spoon, holding you close, your back against his chest and the large warm palms of his hands are holding your growing belly 🥺🥺🥺🥺

My personal HC is he doesn't know how to cook or do housework, he only knows some basics in cleaning, BUT he's either gonna learn or pay for someone to do all the work for you.

Basically, he just wants you to do absolutely nothing and just rest because your body is already working so much for the both of you.

Ooohhh boy when the baby starts kicking??? HE'S GONNA PROBABLY START CRYING AHAHAH

maybe he'll def start crying but if we're talking about canon!Erwin, he probably wont cry BUT modern!AU!Erwin will DEF cry

This man straightup talks to your belly.

He comes back from home, doesn't even tell you hello, he just kneels down to come face to face with your belly and he's like "hello little one" or sth like that.

Kisses your belly a lot

Massages your legs, your back, wherever you're hurting

carries you to bed when he finds you asleep on the couch or your favourite armchair (no matter how heavier you get, he's a strong man he can scoop you up effortlessly)

I've said this before but, your first child is a boy I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

IT'S DEF A BLONDE BOY WHO GOT BUSHY EYEBROWS AND BLUE EYES and is the spitting image of his dad and also personalitywise

And when the day comes for you to give birth, modern AU Erwin panics LMAO he'll panic so much you'll have to be the one to calm him down

if it's canon!Erwin, bitch what do you expect, he won't even be there when you give birth 💀

ok ok ok jk jk he'll come running to you. He'll probably not get the chance to hear you scream or hold your hand, but he'll definitely make it in the end.

Poor man's too busy, we have to accept that canon!Erwin would put his job and duties above you and your child AND THAT'S SAD BUT that's how erwin is why are we simping for him is there sth wrong with us-

OK BUT IMAGINE the angsty scenario where you give birth whilst he's getting killed in some battle denjwehgijw AND ONCE you hold your baby for the first time, some soldier walks in and tells you the commander is dead efjghiigrinj and then you realise your son looks exactly like him AND IM NOT OK WITH THIS SCENARIO but im tempted to write that cuz im a masochistic bitch 👀

ok this is the only time canon!Erwin might cry, when your baby first comes to life. Modern AU Erwin will be bawling his eyes out uwu

DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE SEX LIFE

NSFW BELOW, MDNI, GTFO, CHILDREN, IF THE PATRON SAIT OF ERWIN HOES GOES TO JAIL, THEN WHO'S GONNA WRITE ERWIN CONTENT????

Ok well

remember when i said you're needy while pregnant?

welllll daddy erwin will definitely spoil you on that part too

it's amazing how he can pull so many orgasms out of you

you're so damn sensitive the man is going insane, and you're always so ready for another and another

he'll go down on you and suck on your poor clit till you're gushing all over his face and you're shaking and begging him to stop but he just won't njdejgjwkkgj

daddy kink ofc ofc ofc ofc ALWAYS daddy kink he's the daddiest

especially when you start to get insecure about your body, daddy erwin is gonna make sure to make you feel like the prettiest woman

he's gonna settle you on his lap in front of a full body mirror and he's either going to fuck up into you or just play with your swollen, puffy cunt for hours

"eyes on the mirror, sweetheart," his hot breath brushes against your ear as you both watch his big, fat cock disappearing inside your pussy "daddy wants you to see how fucking beautiful you are,"

but ofc the sex is slow and tender and soft and UWU

he doesn't want to hurt you so he's being so very gentle with you with every move he makes on you

erwin is a large man, ok? and chances are, his size kink kicked in when he chose you, so you're small (and even if you're not HE'S STILL a large, strong man) so the fear of hurting you in some way is always there especially when you're carrying his child so he's VERY careful when handling you

ok i can't think of anything else at the moment im writing this while at work LMAO

tysm for the awesome ask, anon, uwu

imma @ ppl later uwuwuwuwuw tysm for reading!

[lovelywritinglady]

Why Do You Care Now?

Erwin Smith x fem!Reader

In which Erwin and reader get into an argument about the status of their relationship…

Angst, Erwin is an ass, fluff eventuality.

Your Pov

He doesn’t care about me. I was simply something that could satisfy his needs while he had spare time. He told me he loved me and that I was the reason he fought so hard for humanity. Now I know he told me sweet lies so I’d be caught in his trap. I was just a toy for Erwin Smith. This revelation makes me feel sick. I feel betrayed and yet I still love him. I truly do and I thought he did too, but it was all a lie. Every sweet word, every touch, every feeling was nothing more than a deception.

A few minutes earlier…

I walk into my lover’s office to deliver him reports. I also wanted to talk to him about our relationship and whether or not it would be okay if other people could know about us. I mean it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to ask about, right?

I knock on his door and hear him telling me to enter. I entered with a smile on my face. Seeing him always makes my heart fill with joy. Because this world is dangerous and death is around every corner, but being with Erwin makes me realize that it’s can also be beautiful. I set the reports on his desk as he send me a small smile.

“Hello Commander” I say

“Hello cadet” Erwin says with a serious expression.

“Here are the recent reports for you sir”

“Thank you cadet, that’ll be all”

“Actually sir, there is something I’d like to talk with you about.” I say nervously

“I have a minute to spare, so please” he says as he gestures to the seat in front of me.

“It’s about us. I was wondering if it would be okay if we could maybe tell people about our relationship? I mean we have been together for a while now, and I just though that it would be time to tell people.” I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

“Y/n I think you misunderstand what we are exactly.” Erwin says with a sigh

“Aren’t we together sir?” I question.

“No y/n you are simply someone that I have sexual relations with. You and I are nothing more that casual friends that have sex.” Erwin says while looking at me.

My heart drops at this sudden information and I’m confused on what he means.

“B-but Erwin you told me that you loved me. You do love me don’t you?” I say as tears start to form.

“I do not love you. I have never loved you. I only said that to you to satisfy your needs and to keep you around me. I’m far too busy for love. And even if I wasn’t, you’re not the person that I’d first choose. You’re a clingy annoying brat that is only good for sex. In fact I do not care what happens to you. If you were to die, then I would simply take it like everyone else that dies for this regiment.” He says with no ounce of remorse.

I sit there with tears now flowing out of my eyes. My entire heart feels like it’s been shattered. I can’t breathe. I thought he loved me? I’m nothing to him? He wouldn’t care if I died? This is not the same man I knew yesterday. The man I knew yesterday would have hugged me if I had asked. Or comforted me after a rough expedition. Or kissed me just because. The man I knew yesterday would tell me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. He would’ve told me that he would protect me and that he hoped one day we could live together and get married. That man I knew yesterday is no longer the man I see in front of me. This man is nothing but anger and he’s looking at me like I’m the most disgusting thing in this wretched world.

“Now Cadet if that’s all, you may take your leave” Erwin says coldly

I say nothing as I leave his office. For I cannot even speak. Hell, I can’t even think straight. Everything I had is now gone. He truly doesn’t care for me. My feelings for him don’t matter and neither does my life. Currently it feels as though I’m drowning in sadness unable to see the surface.

One month later during an expedition…

Beyond the walls is beautiful, it truly is. If it weren’t for the threat of titians, humanity would flourish out here. Currently the scouts are on an expedition. Our mission is to gather as much information as we can. This is set to be a several day expedition, but so far our losses exceed what we hoped. Yet the commander pushes us on with our mission.

At this point I don’t care if I live or die. This world is shit and the thing I loved most betrayed me. So now, I don’t believe I have a will to live. Erwin was the only thing I had. My parents were scouts and they both met their demise during an expedition just like this one. Maybe I’ll join them soon? Will anyone account my death if I were to die today? Will anyone care? Will he care?

My thoughts were interrupted my a large hand hovering over me. Before I could react, it grabbed me and began lifting me off my horse. I didn’t scream as it began crushing my bones. I didn’t cry as I saw it’s mouth opening and felt myself being pulled towards it. All I felt was relief. And for the first time in awhile, I feel happy. I’m going to die and that doesn’t scare me.

Suddenly I heard the sound of ODM gear. And the grip on my body loosened and I felt my body begin to fall. The fall was interrupted by someone grabbing me mid air. I felt dizzy and it felt like there was a blanket of blood covering my broken body. My eyes felt heavy and all I wanted to do was close my eyes. I’m so tired and I can’t feel my body. Before I closed my eyes I saw him. Erwin’s face is hovering over mine. Maybe I’m having one last hopeful imagination, but I think I see tears in his eyes. His mouth is moving, but I can’t hear any words coming out of his mouth. After a minute of looking at him I finally close my eyes and everything goes dark.

Erwin Pov

It’s been nearly a week since I saved y/n. She’s going to recover, but her body was bruised severely and several of her bones were broke. It’s a miracle that she was able to survive. The thought of her dying broke something in me. I know what I said to her. And if there were ever anything I were to regret, it would be the poison that I spoke to her on that day. Seeing her about to get eaten made me neglect my very duties as a commander. I broke formation to save her. Every logical thought I had was replaced with my desire to save her. I try being with her as much as I can, however my duties as a commander keep me away from her. I want to be there when she wakes up. I want to tell her that all I said to her on that day was nothing but lies. I want her to forgive me and love me the way that she use to. I want to tell her, hell, I need to tell her that I do indeed love her.

At first she was someone that I used to satisfy my needs. She was simply a means to an end. There was a time where the threat of her life would not have bothered me. But she slowly crept into my heart. She made me feel more passion that I thought was capable in this life. That scared me. I was scared of how she made me feel. In fear of losing her. But she’s alive and would have died if I didn’t save her.

Two Days Later…

I managed to get some spare time to see her today. Hange says that y/n should wake up soon. I’m hoping she does. I miss her and I’m desperate to tell her how I feel. She needs to hear what I have to say. I’m confident that she will forgive me if I just tell her. Right?

My thoughts are interrupted when I heard rustling next to me. I immediately went close to her just waiting for her to open her eyes. After a few more seconds, her eyes flutter open and my eyes meet with hers and I began to smile.

“Y/n, I’m so glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?” I asked her

“Erwin?” She whispered

“Don’t talk just yet let me get you some water. ” I say as I grab the glass of water by her bedside.

“Thanks” she say as she grabs the water from my hand and takes a small sip from it. After she’s done I take it from her and place it back on her bedside.

“Erwin, why are you here?” She questions

“Y/n, I’m here because I was worried about you. You nearly died, but I managed to save you from a titan. You’ve been asleep for little over a week now, but Hange says that you’ll make a full recovery.” I tell her

“Thank you for saving me Erwin, I truly appreciate that, but you didn’t answer my question”

“I’m here because I need to tell you that everything I said to you that say was a lie. I said those hurtful things to you because I was scared of telling anyone because I was scared. And y/n I am so sorry for what I said to you. And I hope that you can forgive me for what I’ve done to you. Y/n I love you and I want us to be together again. And this time I want us to be public with it. I’ll give you some time to think, but just know that I truly do want this with you.” I said to her sincerely hoping she would understand.

“Erwin, thank you for being honest with me. However I do not want to be with you.” She said

“Y/n you’re confused and you just woke up. Maybe give it a few days?” I said nervously

“Erwin I’m sorry but I cannot be with someone that said they wouldn’t care if I was dead. You lied to me and used me. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re telling me the truth. And why do you even care now?” Y/n said raising her voice.

“Y/n I am telling you the truth. So please give me this chance I will do better I promise”

“Please leave and don’t come and visit me again. I do not want to be with you. I will not allow myself to love you the way I use to. So please leave. You and I are nothing more than commander and cadet.” She says coldly.

“Y/n please.” I beg her

“Just go!”

I do as she says and I leave the room. I’ve lost her. If I had only showed her that I cared for her then, none of this would’ve happened. But at the same time I felt that my apology was good. She’s just not thinking rationally, so perhaps she’ll come back to me soon. That’s my hope anyway.

One Year Later

Your pov

My body took months to heal and because of how badly I was injured, I permanently have a slight limp in my leg. It stops me from being as efficient as I use to be, but I manage. I am no longer bothered by Erwin Smith. He was persistent about us being together again for months after I woke up. But now he’s ceased his actions and our relationship is strictly professional. He did promise me that I would be the only woman he’d ever love. And how he regrets his actions. I feel bad for him, but I’ve moved on and I’m much happier with my life.

I also found new love in someone that I trust. He’s a very strong soldier with a passion to help humanity. I admire and love him. He’s loyal and with him I never question whether or not he loves me or not. I’m so happy that we fell for each other. And we’re even public with our relationship. When I asked him he didn’t hesitate to say yes to the idea. His name is Mike Zacharias. He helped me get promoted to squad leader and I have yet to lose anyone. I feel accomplished with what I have done and who I have become. This world is dangerous, but now I have the passion to fight for my future.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

Thank you for reading ❤️

Please feel free to request, comment, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.

-L.W.L



[jeanbie]

WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU #1 ★ masterlist.

pairing: erwin x reader

genre: lovers / lovers to nobodies au | warnings: angst, set the night before his demise in season 3, she/her pronouns for reader | wc: 533

note: once again, i pulled this from my old fanfic archive, so any similarities to other works (specifically this same series on my old blog) is intentional because it is in fact me :) enjoy anyway!

⏤ Imagine the first time they say I love you. Imagine the words resting quietly on the air, spoken in time with the rising sun and the soft whispers of morning.

It had been a final wish.

A final promise that had him shuffling his feet across his hall and into the cuddle of his shoes, socks rubbing at the toes as he dragged himself to your door and knocked once. A silence followed and the door had opened, a warm glow of tuscan sun bleeding out onto the welcome mat beneath his feet, and then came the smile that he remembered falling in love with, and the honey colours he was seeing on his eyelids hours after falling asleep with his arms wrapped around you, ankles curled and limbs entangled.

It was the last time, after-all. 

In contrast to the summery, pineapple hues that painted his mind last night, Erwin wakes up feeling pewter. The curtains roll slowly and silently by the window opened on a hatch, and a lavender sunrise leaks across the sky above the small house he once knew to memory. Now, he can hardly recall where the secrets he used to swear not to tell lie anymore. 

A sigh escapes his lips and he winces, being sure not to awake the presence of another body wrapped up in a plethora of ivory bed sheets. His eyes flicker down to the way you curl so nostalgically into his left side, your forehead buried into the curve of his ribcage, uttering not a whisper in the ungodly hours of the morning. His calloused fingers come to brush away the strands of hair that fall over into your closed eyes, the feathery movements making you squirm, shuffling further into his body as if you could get any closer. Erwin sucks in a breath, a large one, and allows himself ten more delicious moments of remembering your face. A silence ensues once more as the distant sound of birdsong hangs over the sleeping town. 

Erwin Smith, a man who in his youth once swore that from the minute he laid eyes on you, wearing a dress your auntie made and mismatched socks, he would marry you; Erwin Smith, a guy who in the first year of his military career returned to your village and protected you against a bully and got a fistful instead of you- no, no, Erwin Smith, a guy who always knew what he had and never took advantage of it, the boy who shone brighter than the aura of the girl with the two braids, the boy who fell in love with someone so unexpected and so beautifully unaware of her own capability– he props himself up onto one elbow and stares in what could be described as sadness. 

His eyes find themselves clouding over at the picture-perfect sight of you in a position he once loved so dearly…and you swear that when you awoke hours later, you could still feel the ghost of his fingertips brushing across your cheekbones and the feeling of warm breath against your earlobe, lips pressing butterfly kisses of anchor against it, and the fading words of “I love you” leaving his lips for the first and last time.

[ttulipwritezz]

Grief Erwin Smith

synopsis: going through the stages of grief was a slow process. But the feelings you hold don't vanish so easily

warnings: mentions of death, hating Armin, spoilers for season 3

Grief came in many forms... be it anger, Sadness, numbness, or regret.

But to you, it came in the form of hatred

You despised Armin Arlert.

in your eyes, he selfishly took the position of your lover, he was saved instead of Erwin. Erwin was whom everyone needed, not this useless trainee. Erwin should have been saved, not him.

in a way, you wished you had been there. there to help Levi make the right decision there to ensure a future for the scouts ...a future for you.

your once sweet and bubbly demeanor became cold and mean. losing the light in one's life can do so much damage, can't it?

walking through the corridors didn't feel the same anymore, it felt dark and gloomy. As you walked past the office Erwin once owned, the office not even Hange had dared to touch, the office where you'd shared so many sleepless nights, where he'd told you about his dream and you had yours...so many dreams.

Maybe now, sitting on the chair he once claimed as his throne...maybe you'll find it in yourself to accept and forgive.

but for now, your hatred can only turn to fear of what could happen if you ever loved another.

[shrekisshrimpthesimp]

Ok so like Tolerate It by Taylor Swift is such a masterpiece, I was listening to it after work and realized that it was such a perfect material for an Erwin Smith angst lmao. Anyway, here's the result of my tolerate it brainrot 👀💀

You sit and watch him.

You sit and watch him, forehead creasing upon reading the reports he got this morning.

You sit and watch him, his veiny hands that knows both violence and gentleness scribbling important pieces of information on an empty sheet, pile after pile.

You sit and watch him, as he massages his temple, drinking the cup of tea you made for him while he continues to work very late at night.

You sit and watch him, clad in his uniform of authority as he gets ready to go to the headquarters.

You sit and watch him, as he closes the door, setting off for another day of fulfilling the duties and responsibilities of a commander.

And while your husband's away, you also fulfill the duties of a wife. Cleaning, polishing the plates until they gleam and glisten, doing the chores, making the house a home.

At the end of the day, you wait by the door. You wait for your dear husband's return. And when he does, you greet him with a battle hero's welcome, as he should be, pulling him into a tight hug and telling him a warm 'welcome home' as you bury your face on his chest. And he pulls away, telling you to send dinner in his office and you smiled. As the perfect housewife you wanted to be, you cheerfully responded to his request. And when he went upstairs, the smile on your face was immediately replaced with a look of emptiness.

Mrs. Smith. That's who you are. The wife of Erwin Smith. The wife of the great commander. The perfect wife for a perfect husband.

That's how it all used to be. You met him when you were young and when he was still a dreamy-eyed teenager who dreamed of seeing the whole world. He was your first love and you were his. He went to military training and was separated from you. You feared that the time you spent away would pull you away from each other. But he came back. He came back as someone older and much wiser. You fretted that he might already have met someone else. You worry that he has already forgotten about you. But when your eyes locked together inside the tavern where his friends celebrated his return, he smiled at you and hurriedly went your way. You were nervous, anxious about what's to happen and that's when he grabbed your hand and took you outside where it was just the two of you under the twinkling starry night. And that's when he confessed that he never stopped thinking of you. It made your heart flutter, it took you to seventh heaven. The next words he said made tears fall from your eyes. 'Will you marry me?', he asked. Tears of joy welled up in your eyes you didn't know how to react. 'But what about your dream? The world?', you replied. 'You are my world Y/N', he caressed your cheeks, resting his forehead against yours. And you have never felt so happy. You agreed to his proposal with a kiss and that's when you became Mrs. Smith

It was a dream. Being married to Erwin Smith felt like a dream. He was everything a wife could ask for. He was gentle, he was kind, he was sweet, he was all the good things in the world. But as years passed by and he got promoted, an unspeakable distance was slowly creeping to tear the perfect marriage you have.

It used to be a house filled with warmth. It used to be a house filled with laughter. It used to be a house filled with sweetness. It used to be a house filled with love. It used to be a home. But it has now become an empty shell of what it used to be. Now it's merely the house of the great commander and the perfect housewife.

Where's the man who used to throw blankets over your barbed wire? He was gone. He was building other worlds without you. Once you used to be his world, but that's a story from a long time ago. You are now begging for footnotes in the new chapter of his life.

And he assumed you were fine.

Hiding it with your warm smiles and gentle touches. You have perfected the art of suppressing it all in. Because you love him.

You even convinced yourself. Using the best colors to paint his portrait. That he's still the man you married, the gentle, sweet, kind and loving husband. And sometimes you thought, maybe that's all this marriage really is. Merely a picture perfect union.

But there are days, days when the pain is too much and you realize that your love should be celebrated and not taken for granted. And that's when the thoughts start coming in. What if you take this dagger from your heart and remove it? What if you break free? What if you leave your marriage in ruins? What would he do if you did it?

But you never can. This was all just in your head. You have made him your temple, your mural, your sky. You love him more than your own happiness. You vowed to love him, to have and to hold, for better or for worse. And that's what Mrs. Smith will do.

You sit and watch him as he tolerates you tolerating him.

[jotatetsuken]

i don't wanna be okay without you

submission for: @h-shibas's "Lights, Camera, Action" Collab (also, here's wishing the organizer a happy birthday too <33)

type of writing: oneshot

trope: actor au, film au, love triangle (story’s inspired from many Hindi movies, especially Om Shanti Om minus the reincarnation part, iykyk)

warnings: living a hard life in the slums, familial isolation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of domestic abuse, toxic marriage, mentions of miscarriage, adultery, angst from Erwin, comfort from Levi, Erwin being a sexist director, police arrest, suggestive (implied NSFW, so minors please DNI), please lmk if i miss any more cw . also this is kinda dark so i'm tagging it as dark content just in case

song: i don’t wanna be okay without you - charlie burg

beta reading: @beware-of-the-rogue @tsukisdarling

tagging: @akaashi-todorki @hyeque @wakatshi @wakasa-wifey @azrail-core @fuwushiguro @ry0m3n @tokyometronetwork @cirigiri @reinaphoria @scandescent @zorosbozo @megumischubbycheeks

(taglist form / library account, turn on notifications to be updated)

number of words: 4880

a/n: okay, so this took me A MONTH to do this, and I'm finally finally here. I know I touch on really sensitive topics here, but I've had this story in my head for weeks now, so i hope y'all understand. ALSO, I love Erwin Smith, okay? I've made him a villain for the sake of the plot, nothing else. Likes, comments and reblogs, especially reblogs are appreciated. also, fyi, i do not condone cheating in any way. Also, (Y/N) = Your name, (L/N) = Last Name, (E/C) = Eye Color

Levi was sprinting through the dimly lit halls, pursued by onlookers. When he used to dwell in The Underground, a covert term for the filthiest slums in Mitras, Wall Sheena's most populous city, he had stolen a loaf of bread from the bakery. “Thief, thief,” shouted the crowd behind him as he bolted for his life. He wasn't a coward, and he was a self-taught marksman and martial arts student, but he was in a hurry to assist his ailing mother, Kuchel. She could only eat one loaf of bread at a time. He tripped over a rock while running and was about to drop the loaf of bread when he screamed. As he yelled, his body jolted as he was startled awake by the ringing of his mobile alarm. He grumbled and turned off the alarm, taking deep breaths to bring himself back to reality.

 He sat up and drew his legs closer to him, his elbows on his knees, his face on his open hands, and he groaned nonstop. He had been having recurring nightmares for a long time and had no idea how to stop them. With troubled eyes, he gazed to his left at a framed photo of his mother, who was currently in a coma, hoping that she would recover soon enough to witness his debut in his first cinematic venture. His phone abruptly rang at the right bedside table. He checked the caller ID and saw that it was Furlan, one of his best pals who was now working as an assistant director in the Eldian Film Industry, along with two other people on the conference call.

Levi answers the phone, his jaw clenching in irritation, only to hear his two other close friends, Isabel and Hange, shriek at the fact that Levi was half-naked. “Put on a freaking shirt, Levi bro,” Isabel grumbles, her left arm concealing her eyes while her right grips the phone. He gets out of bed, throws the phone on the bed, looks for a black full-sleeve shirt, puts it on, and returns to the call with a large grunt.

Isabel teases, “It took you long enough, Levi bro.” “Get to the point, Isabel,” Levi continued, grumbling. “Why did you all call me?” says the narrator. Hange rambled on, enthralled. “I hope you remember, Leviiiii, that you have to meet him today.” “Who is he?” Levi wondered, his eyes narrowing. “Erwin Smith, the head of the Survey Corps Productions,” Furlan interjected. “He was the one who cast your mo-” “Shhh!” Isabel says to Furlan, calming him down. “Levi bro doesn't need to be reminded of his mother's lineage.”

“All right, I'll go,” Levi said, sighing. “Now, everyone, hang up, right now. Don't forget to meet me there, four-eyes,” he said, addressing Hange.

They saluted him and said, “Aye, captain,” putting an end to the call. “Ugh, Do I really have to do this?” he grumbled, but then turned to gaze at his mother's photo and replied, “Only for you, ma.”

Levi chose to go by a mononym when he discovered he was descended from the Ackerman family, one of Tinseltown's most prominent families along with the Yeager and Arlert families because he carried animosity towards the clan for isolating his mother when he was born out of wedlock. He'd worked odd jobs, extra roles, and minor actor roles ever since to develop a sense of punctuality, cleanliness, orderliness, and a sense of understanding of the profession so he could help her find work. Until she was involved in an accident and went into a long-term coma, with doctors unsure when she would wake up. That’s when a tall, blonde-haired man with a certain nobility about himself introduced himself to Levi as Erwin Smith, the renowned director. 

“Levi, I was good friends with your mother. Ever since her banishment, I've made it a point to find her work in some capacity.”

Rolling his eyes, Levi says, “Look, Mr. Smith, I understand that you’ve extended your helping hand to my mother in the past, but now you can wash your hands of her,” gesturing to Erwin’s hands, “because she’s in a coma, and there’s nothing you can do to help.”

Erwin adds, folding his arms, “I knew you’d say something like that. Hence, I did not only come here to see Kuchel but also to see you. I'm offering you a lead role in my film, 'Attack on Titan,' as your first major cinematic role. You can then invest your money towards her treatment. How do you feel about that?”

He then turned to face his dying mother, who was still on a ventilator and fighting for her life. He then phoned his manager, Hange Zöe, as well as his best friends, Furlan Church and Isabel Magnolia, who had already entered the film industry, working as assistant directors to Miche Zacharius. They eventually persuaded him to do the film after a long and drawn-out argument. Levi then shook Erwin's hand and agreed to the bargain.

Erwin saw Levi and Hange come into the office with a black polo neck shirt and blue jeans on the first day of the script reading of “Attack on Titan.” “Okay, let's finish this soon,” Levi grunted, to which Erwin replied, “sure, sure, come in. The actress has yet to arrive.”

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door a couple of times before Erwin answered, “Come in,” causing the door to open and you to enter. In addition to your black jeans, you were wearing a white shirt with lace at the top. Every time you showed up, it was as if the entire world came to a halt for Levi.

When Levi saw you for the first time in the film, “Shiganshina Came Crumbling Down,” his eyes lit up. Not only was he in awe of your beauty, but also of the way you carried yourself. When he played small parts in TV shows and movies such as “Escape to Trost,” “Life at the Garrison,” and so on, he gained more respect for you. In your initial encounters and later interactions, you appeared kind to him.

He shook his head in disbelief, “Mr. Smith, am I-” Erwin smiled, continuing, “I remember you said you liked (Y/N) (L/N), so what better way to get to know her than by working with her?”

Both of you shook hands with each other, you stated while smiling, “It will be a pleasure to work with you, Levi,” and he agreed, replying “Same here, Ms. (L/N).” As they sat, she laughed and said, “Please, call me (Y/N). It's okay.”

As she turned to Erwin, Levi noticed that she had a genuine bond with him, one based on love and respect. You honestly felt glad that you had Erwin by your side. He’d been there for your ups and downs and stayed with you by your side. He was your husband after all.

However, because Erwin wanted to keep the marriage a secret (one of the reasons being that the industry is not kind to married women working in films), only both of your friends were the ones that knew, which included Mikasa Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, and Sasha Braus. They were the ones who would keep an eye on you and warn you to be cautious around Erwin. Not because he didn't love you; he just had a different way of expressing it.

As you and Levi rehearsed the lines from the script, you both silently noticed that the flow was surprisingly smooth, as if they knew exactly what and how they were going to say the lines. Erwin was ecstatic about the interaction. The script readings went so well for a few days that you all decided to start shooting right away.

Months after the filming began, the level of difficulty gradually increased, especially for Levi. “I don't know how to channel these feelings into acting.”

“That's because you always have a straight face,” Furlan joked, and Isabel laughed along. Levi scowled at both of them, causing them to stand firm.

“Well, why don't you guys bond?” Hange suggested, laughing. “Start talking more, and maybe you guys will eventually help each other, and Leviii, maybe it will benefit you in some way,” they shrugged and grinned at him.

After some thought, Levi responded, “I don't see why that wouldn't be a good opportunity.” “So it's settled,” Erwin said as he clapped. “Levi, you and (Y/N) should get together and practice lines, stat.”

You went to Levi's house that day and began rehearsing the lines. While you two were taking a break, Levi nervously asked, “Would you like anything to drink? Tea, coffee, or something else?” You replied, “I'd like tea with milk, please.” Levi smiled at you, nodding in agreement and relieved that you liked tea as much as he did.

You enjoyed his way of making tea while you two were drinking. “Levi, this is some of the best tea I've ever had!” you exclaimed with twinkling eyes, “how did you learn to make it?”

Levi's eyes became sad as he looked down at the ground and said, “My mother used to teach me. She enjoyed drinking tea like this.”

You placed your hand on his and said, “Erwin informed me of the situation. I'm truly sorry. What is your mother's condition?”

Levi sighed, “She's doing okay, but I'm...,” his voice becoming softer as his shoulders sagged. “I'm terrified, (Y/N). What if she doesn't make it? Everything will be for naught.”

You took a deep breath and held his hand, “Levi, if it weren't for Erwin, I wouldn't be here today. As the world knows, the (L/N) family is well-known, but it wasn't always that way. They were in shambles and were unable to support themselves. When I was seven years old, my parents split, and I was raised by two families, one of whom, the (L/N) family, became famous. It was through them that I first met Erwin. Our conversation finally led to a strong friendship. However, both of my families liked to tell me what to do, how to eat, and how to look, and that bothered me a lot, it made me feel uncomfortable within my skin, but then Erwin promised them that he’d take care of me and I moved out of the house ever since.”

“The fact that I’m able to be the way I want to be where I am, was because I chose to do so,” you continued, putting your hand on Levi’s shoulder, smiling, “and so can you. I’m very sure that your mother loves you very much and wants nothing but the best for you. I know you’re doing this for her, and she must already be proud of you for going through this regardless.”

He turned to you with a sorrowful expression, his anxious breaths slowly calming down, smiling at you, “thank you, (Y/N). It meant a lot, and I’m sorry I had no idea you were going through a lot.”

Nodding, you smiled at him, and like gravity was trying to set you two up, you were about to stand up, but because your feet were sore, you stumbled and were about to fall off your chair, only for Levi to catch you. Both of you couldn’t explain what this pull you had towards each other but as you were going to give in to the moment, your faces approaching each other, you’re brought back to reality with a jolt as you receive a phone call from Erwin.

“Hi, Erwin,” you answer the call, and you hear from the other side, “babe, are you still at Levi’s house? Let me pick you up.” You nod, “yes, Erwin, I’m here. Thank you, please let me know whenever you’re here.”

You two adjust your clothing as if you were about to commit a travesty. “Can we not-” you start, but Levi interrupts you, “don’t worry, I won’t tell Erwin or anyone. Thank you, for everything.”

You nodded, thanking Levi, as you got a call from Erwin, where he informs you that he had reached. Levi waved goodbye to you as you got into the car with Erwin, who said, “I miss you, baby,” as he kissed you on the cheek, and you smiled while he drove you home.

Over the next few days, shooting continued as usual, but suddenly, one day, you felt uneasy, nauseated, even. So you said you would be back in five minutes. That five minutes turned into an hour. Erwin checked on you in the meantime, and another hour passed by.  

Levi was then sent to your vanity car to call for you but as he approached you, he could hear you crying from outside. So, to avoid being caught, he stayed out of their line of vision, while peering through their window. “Babe, I can’t do this, I can’t hide whatever we have with us,” you vent to Erwin as Levi overhears with a confused expression.

“(Y/N),” Erwin said with a straight face, “you know that the fans of the Elysian Film Industry are not kind towards married women,” causing Levi to gasp silently in shock, but what was said next, caused him to go blank for a while, “let alone be married to me and be the mother of our child.”

In trying to comprehend what he had just heard, Levi realized he needed to get out of their sight before Erwin saw him. Thus, he hid behind the vanity car. His heart sank as he squatted on the ground, shocked to learn that his romantic interest was married and pregnant. It irked him more as he realized that you had to hide all of this due to prejudice against married women.

A moment later, he contemplated walking out of the film shooting, the reason being that it hit too close to home. He was reminded of why he hated this industry, to begin with, because his mother was isolated from him by it. Even so, he was determined not to leave you behind as he wiped the tears from his cheeks despite not having realized they were flowing. Instead, he will be by your side every step of the way.

Levi waited for Erwin to go before knocking on your door and calling out to you as he clenched his fist and clicked his tongue in annoyance. As Erwin left, he knocked, “Can I come in, (Y/N)?” You responded, “sure, please come in,” sniffling and wiping away your tears as you put on a phony grin.

When Levi enters, he kneels alongside you and takes your hand in both of his. He looks at you, concernedly. “(Y/N)? Is everything alright with you? Can I help you in any way?”

Even though you smiled, cupped his cheek, and said, “I'm fine, Levi. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I was just sick, that’s all,” he wasn't convinced by your response, but he was willing to overlook it all for the sake of your well-being.

Because you weren't feeling well during the next few days, production had to wind up early. Levi had noticed that your face had turned pale and you'd lost your usual pleasant smile one day at the shooting when you opted to leave early. Your shoulder had a bruise that he could see through. He sensed something had happened to you, and he was determined to find out what it was.

This time, Levi was the one who came home to see you, and when your butler opened the door, he was momentarily astonished, as if he had seen a ghost. Your face looked pale, your makeup was streaked with tears, there was a lot of material all over the place, and you were sobbing hysterically.

“(Y/N), are you okay? Please tell me what happened!” he exclaimed as he ran to you and took you in his arms. He looked at you with sad eyes, softly asking, “It’s okay, shhh,” quieting you, “I’m here. So, please, tell me what happened.”

That’s when you wrapped your arms around him, sobbing, “Levi, my baby, she’s gone. I had a miscarriage. Ever since then, Erwin’s been rude and distant with me, in private,” and showed her shoulders that had bruises, marks that most likely looked like from being hit. You continued, sniffling, “I even suspect that he's been cheating on me.”

This pissed Levi off but as he was about to suggest halting the production of the film, you said, sniffling, “Listen, Levi, we’re going ahead with the film. I don’t want this film’s reputation to be marred by this, it’ll cause a scandal and I don’t want that right now, so please, can we still do the film?”

He caressed your head and said, “okay, but I’ll be staying with you in the vanity car as a ruse for practicing lines. I want to protect you,” and that caused you to nod.

For the next few days, you hide your emotions and pain and channel it through acting out certain scenes. Erwin felt would make this your best performance, when in truth, you're terrified of his behavior if things go wrong.

However, the ambiance deteriorated. Erwin treated you rudely anytime you made a minor mistake, forcing you to shudder and be afraid of him. He insulted you in front of everyone by stating that he took you from nothing and made you the actress you are right now and that you needed to pull yourself together.

You were irritated especially since this was the first time he criticized you in public, but the completion of the project was critical to you. As you returned to the vanity car to rehearse lines, you found safety in Levi, who was wise beyond his years. He, a rookie, supplied more insight into his character than any seasoned actor you'd dealt with, and he incorporated that into their methods. It had gotten to the point where you only felt comfortable in the vanity car or other places where you hung out with Levi.

During one such vulnerable moment, in the vanity car, you were crying while he was hugging you. “Levi,” you sniffled, as you two were sitting in the car, “I don’t understand why he’s being rude to me, he’s not spoken a word of kindness to me these past few days, and I’m scared that he’ll leave me.”

Levi cups your cheeks with his hands and says, “If I were you, I’d walk out of the movie and the marriage, because you deserve much better, but I know that you’re a champion and you’ve handled him so far, I believe you can handle him till the end of the film. You should leave him, though,” smiling at you while wiping the tears off your face.

He examined your face for a moment, and looked at you in sheer awe. “(Y/N), do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Suddenly, something sparked in his mind as he took something out of his bag to give you something. It was a snow globe that had the figures of two of them kissing while the snow was falling. As he keeps the snow globe to a side, in awe of him and everything that he’d been doing, you put your hands around his neck, draw your face closer to him and place a peck on his lips. Levi was expectedly dumbfounded by this action but closed his eyes anyway to not let go of the moment.

However, what was supposed to be a peck evolved into something else as your lips start to lock with each other, and you two end up kissing hard, as your fingers raked through his hair and he places his hand on the nape of your neck. A good amount of time passed by as you two were kissing only for realization to hit you hard as you forcefully released yourself from the kiss. “Levi, this, this can’t happen.” You stutter as Levi nods, and while both of you stayed silent, both of you realized that this was the best kiss that each other had in the longest time.

Despite that moment, everyone behaved professionally, not wanting to interrupt the shooting schedule, ensuring the film’s success. However, both of you were oblivious to the fact that ever since the accidental kiss you two shared, you're all he thought about, and he was all that you thought about.

You were the light in his life that was shrouded in darkness, and he was the escape that you needed from your harsh reality. As his Instagram account was established, and he uploaded the photographs that Furlan forced him to upload from the photoshoot, many people loved him, and many people judged each other for loving him and claiming him to be theirs, but one day, when the shooting ended, as you turned to him while you were walking away with Erwin, the languages that your eyes spoke said a thousand words to each other than flattery ever could. You two were truly in love with each other in a world full of facades, and you didn’t want to be okay without each other.

During your usual hangout at your vanity car, once you were done rehearsing the lines, you stared into each other’s eyes continuously, and with panting breaths, it hit you two that both of you realized that you liked each other and couldn’t stay away from each other. That’s when you gave in to your desires as you drew your faces closer to each other enveloping yourselves into a deep kiss as you move back to the bedroom that you’d made for quick naps.

As the clothes started to peel off each other’s bodies, the sheets were witness to a new love story blossoming as Levi kissed you in places that had the bruises, which caused you to wince, but he didn’t lose eye contact with you, because before you went back to shooting, he needed to express how deeply in love with you he was.

This didn’t end up being a one-time thing as every day, whenever you two finished practicing, you two would sleep with each other. You thus started a tryst with Levi unbeknownst to Erwin, who was clearly in awe of the way you two acted eventually in the scene, bringing the passion you two had for each other towards the film.

You didn’t just get closer to Levi physically. You two talked more often, connected on a deeper level than you with Erwin, and he introduced you to Furlan and Isabel, who accepted you wholeheartedly and were willing to defend you with all they had. Hange, while being friendly with you, warned the both of you, suggesting that you two be careful as Erwin would make life uneasy for you if he found out.

When Mikasa found out about the situation, she was concerned and doubtful about Levi’s intentions. However, once they met, she realized that he truly possessed the blood of an Ackerman. Stern and stubborn, yet kind-hearted deep down and accepted him wholeheartedly, willing to pitch in to help in however she could to ensure Kuchel’s recovery. During this time, Erwin and you had a big argument which led to you exclaiming that you were moving out of the apartment, and you then moved into Isabel’s apartment to ensure you and Levi continued to meet in secret to avoid any scandal. 

Five months later, the production was wrapped up and the film was set to release. A day before the private screening, Erwin called you, “(Y/N), are you excited about the private screening? I’d like it for us to go together.”

You scowled and were dumbfounded by his audacity to still appear on good terms in public. “Listen, Erwin,” you retorted, sitting up on the couch while you were initially lying down, “no matter how much you cajole me to come back to you, it’s not going to work. You’d made me feel miserable about myself ever since I had the miscarriage. Do you think I depended on you to get out of my miserable past? No, I chose to go with you. We married each other, remember? Or no, your reputation is too important for you, more important than our marriage!”

Erwin laughed maniacally as fear gripped you with his tone changing to something that she’d never heard. “Oh, poor (Y/N),” Erwin smirked, “did you think I’ll let the baby come into the world while we were supposed to be the most successful couple? Hah!” He scoffed, “absolutely not! Isn’t that right, Petra baby?” Petra? Baby?

You thought to yourself for a moment as it clicked. “Wait, Erwin,” you inquired, “did you cause the-” Erwin laughed again, as he responded arrogantly, “yes! I was the one who caused the miscarriage. Remember when I asked my assistant, Petra, to serve you tea before I came to call for you?”

Your eyes widened in the realization that that day, Erwin slipped a pill in the tea, that caused you to feel uneasy and that’s how you eventually lost the baby. You started seeing red as you clench your fists in rage, but as your (E/C) orbs land on the picture of the two of you in the hall, an idea pops in your mind as you take a deep breath and tell Erwin with a cunning smile, “you know what? Let’s go! There’s no point in arguing, right?”

As you walk in your red halter neck gown with Erwin and Levi to the private screening, several pictures were taken by different paparazzi. As you posed with different supporting actors, and finally, when you posed with Erwin and with Levi, people could observe the difference in your interactions. All of you went inside the theater, and as all of you saw the final product, Levi and you secretly held hands as you two saw that every scene was picturized beautifully and for his debut, Levi created magic on screen.

After coming out of the screening, Erwin was interviewed by Connie who had opted to be one of the interviewers for the screening. “Hello, Connie,” Erwin greeted him with a smile, following which Connie grinned, replying, “Hello, Mr. Erwin, I hope you can spare a couple of seconds for an interview.” Erwin nodded, causing Connie to tell Sasha to roll the camera and Jean to make notes. “So, Mr. Erwin,” Connie asked, “how did you like your film?” Erwin beamed and continued, “I can’t be more proud of my casting choices. As always, (Y/N) has left her mark on screen as one of the most talented actresses, period, but it was Levi’s night tonight as he shone on screen. He is a force to be reckoned with.”

Connie smiled, continuing, “that’s wonderful. Speaking of (Y/N), we’ve heard from different sources, that you two are actually married in secret, and that she even bore your child, is that true?”

Erwin scowled on hearing this, but put up a fake smile, saying, “Even if it was true, the industry sadly makes fun of married women, saying that they don’t deserve to work, so you should be able to understand why we kept our marriage a secret?”

Not fazing from his stance, Connie then asked a hard-hitting question. “Ah, that makes sense. Is that why you caused her to have a miscarriage?”

Erwin widened his eyes in shock, how did people come to know? Nervously laughing, Erwin said, “oh, but that’s nonsense. Who told you that?”

That’s when he heard a voice from a distance who replied, “I did,” Levi approached Erwin and Connie and replied, “Erwin, I thank you for the opportunity that you gave me. Working with you gave me the confidence I didn’t know I needed. However, I dug deep into some articles, and I realized that it was you, who reported to the press that my mother was pregnant with me, causing her to be isolated from the family. I also know, that my once close friend, Petra Ral, who now works with you, is now dating you. So, when I came to Isabel's house, I noticed that you and (Y/N) talking over the phone. So, I found a way to record the conversation and once I recorded the conversation, I found enough arsenal needed to take you down. So I took the tape to Mikasa, who took it to Eren and Armin, who then took it to Connie, Jean, and Sasha and we devised a plan, together.”

That’s when Levi’s uncle, Kenny Ackerman, a senior superintendent in the Military Brigade of Mitras, cuffed Erwin’s hands with Sasha continuing to record the whole thing. “Erwin Smith,” Kenny ordered, “you are under arrest for…”

As Kenny was reading out the crimes Erwin was arrested for, Levi walked away from there and ran to you to hug you. Your hug then caught the attention of a section of paparazzi. “It’s all over now, baby. We can be together without any fear and I promise to support you in every way,” he tells you while you smile, seeing that justice was finally served. 

© Shyna 2022 - reposting on any other platform is not allowed

[saenora]

MOCKINGBIRD | ERWIN SMITH

Part #3: The Baby

< Part 2 | Part 4 >

The letter from marie… this was supposed to be in the last update but well…. ANYWAYS SO Miche and Nanaba meet Baby Smith! Miche and his nose A C T I V AT E D.  next part tomorrow!!

This is a work of fiction, I do not own any of SNK characters except my original character and the plot. Repost/ANY Use without Permission is prohibited. You'll be reported and blocked. Story & Original Character(s) © luvjiro.tumblr.com 2023

[persefolli]

𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚈𝚎𝚝 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢

𝚆𝙲: 𝟹𝚔

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙴𝚛𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙸𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝

The room was hot and heavy with the stench of sex in the air. You weren’t keen on sneaking around behind your husband's back but this was different. With him you felt different.

You lied on your back, senses still hazy from your erratic behavior earlier that night. 

“Jean.” 

He ignored you, rushing to pull up his suit pants.

“Where are you going?” You asked. He raised his eyebrow and threw on his undershirt. “My wife cooked dinner. I have to go.”

You sighed and pouted. “Stay just a bit longer.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Y/N cut it out! Go back to your husband.” He went into the bathroom and closed the door. 

Jealousy. That’s what you were feeling. He was busy washing you off in the bathroom. You wanted to spend more time with him. Or was it the fact that you were finding a reason not to go home tonight.  

Things were supposed to be platonic. You didn’t belong to him and he didn’t belong to you. Guess who got attached.

Maybe you could make him stay. Sitting up you reached down to the floor and scooted your purse open until a bottle of perfume popped out. Cautiously you looked at the bathroom door while shaking the bottle.

Climbing over the bed you searched until you found his button up shirt. You held the shirt up to smell it then you started spraying. After that you shook the shirt in the air so it could get rid of the strong smell. He wouldn’t be able to tell though.

The door opened and you swiftly threw the bottle back to your side of the bed and you sat up on your knees holding his shirt.

“Okay. You can check out. I’m going to text you.” Jean grabbed his button up from your hands.

You looked at him expectantly to make sure he didn’t notice. At least not until he was gone. 

He didn’t 

“Okay that’s fine.” You winked and smiled at Jean. He smiled slightly then made his way to the door. “Hey baby i’m on my way home now-”

Sighing, you sat back down on the bed and looked at your naked body in the mirror. “What the fuck am I doing?” 

-Hours later-

You pulled into the driveway of your home in the suburbs and fixed your lipstick in the car mirror. The lights on the car flickered and you walked up the concrete stairs of the home. “Honey, I'm home.”

“Hello love,” Your husband beamed at your arrival. As you hugged him you noticed him take a big breath. “You smell so fresh as always my dear.”

“Oh stop it Erwin.” You reached up and ruffled the blond’s hair. “I made you dinner. It may not be as hot because you came late, but it should be warm enough.” He grabbed your hand and guided you to the dinner table. “Oh this is so nice sweetheart,” You gasped. “I love you so much.”

… 

After a pause you smiled and sat down at the table. 

Listen. You loved him so, and he loved you too. You felt like an asshole because he didn’t deserve this. His wife fucking one of his trusted employees behind his back. He was so oblivious. 

You still needed him though. That was the only thing keeping you from leaving. He had all the best qualities a man should have. Stable life, Stable mental state, Steady income, you could go on and on.

You two sat in a comfortable silence while eating. “I think we should go on vacation.”

“We should hmm?” you responded. Erwin got happy and bounced in his seat a bit. “It’s just we both have been so busy lately, and our anniversary is coming up,”

Shit

“And I was thinking of going to France together when my company goes for a business venture.”

“Erwi-”

“Yes I know what you're thinking. Why would I bring you to a business trip in order to double it as a celebration of our love? Well, I feel that since we both have never been, it would be special for both of us to go.” He grabbed your hand and caressed it softly.

You had forgotten about the anniversary, you had planned on seeing Jean while he was away but, you can cancel just this once. Since this is the happiest you have seen Erwin in a while. 

Sadly the only aspect you WEREN’T looking forward to was the sex. Now that was the department he was lacking in. You needed to feel something. A relationship wasn’t a relationship without good sex. So you thought.

You married him so, of course you loved every other inch of him. He just didn't know how to reach his full potential in bed.

“I would love to go to France with you my dear.” You cooed. He stood and wiped his hands on the rag sitting at the edge of the table. “I will only show and give you the best of the best Y/N.”

The two of you joined forces to clean the kitchen. 

“Dance with me?” Erwin extended his hand towards you. You grabbed his hand and he pulled you in, keeping a firm hold on your waist with one arm and holding your hand with the other.

The music was soft and slow. Erwin kept his eyes shut while he rested his head on top of yours. The vibration of his humming running through your head. Along with thoughts of Jean.

Did his wife find out yet?

Is he gonna call you?

You slipped out of his arms and made your way up the stairs.

“Going to sleep already?” Erwin shut off the lights downstairs and followed. You groaned and  slipped on a silky nightgown. “Yes. Come join me.” You crawled on the bed and patted the empty spot to invite Erwin.

He smiled, took off his shirt, and joined you in bed. “Goodnight my love.”

“Goodnight dear.” You responded, immediately turning to the side and drifting off to sleep.

After some time your phone rang loudly, causing you and Erwin to stir around in bed. The phone stopped ringing after you clicked the lock button on your phone. Minutes later your phone rang again and you angrily sat up and answered the phone. “Y/N Smith here. Explain why you’re calling me at inappropriate times.”

“She smelled the perfume…”

You froze in your place and shivered. “I- uh, so..now what?”

“I'm staying at a motel, she wants a divorce.”

“I am so so-”

“You weren’t sorry when you sprayed that on my shirt, I SPECIFICALLY told you not to spray that around me.”

You grabbed at your nightgown and twisted, Jean was the last person you wanted to be angry at you.

“Who is yelling at you at 3 in the morning!” Erwin groaned. “N-no one sweetheart.”

“Oh is that your husband? Was I disturbing something?”

“Keep it do-”

“NO! YOU SHOULD’VE STAYED IN YOUR PLACE AS A WHORE. MY WHORE. BUT YOU GOT TOO-”

Erwin snatched the phone from your hands and sat up in bed. “Listen buddy it’s pretty late at night and I'm not sure what has you so worked up but, it’s too late for this.”

“Shut up, telling me what’s too late and what’s not. It wasn’t too late when I was slutting your wife out at 4 am Thursday morning.” You couldn’t make out what he had said but Erwin's face dropped almost immediately. He was now wide awake too. “Check the messages.” Jean said. 

Erwin held the phone away from his face and started to unlock your phone. “Baby what's going on?” You sat on your knees on the bed facing him, your heart raced not knowing exactly what he was looking for. No. You knew exactly what was happening. Erwin gasped and shakily sighed after seeing a message pop up. He looked up and stared in your eyes as he pressed a button on your phone. The volume was low due to the ongoing cell phone call but you could hear it. You and Jean’s staggered moans coming from your phone. That means he had recorded you two without you knowing. He had this ready just in case.

 “Thank you Jean Kirstein, you will get your next month worth of pay and you’re fired.” Erwin hung up the phone and sat still. Staring at you. You had to be the first to break the silence. “Erwin.” He held up his hand to stop you from talking.

“All this time...I've been working, saving up. I wanted to give you a house...a baby… a new ring,” He scoffed and you noticed that he was crying. You haven’t seen Erwin cry like this since the passing of his parents. You finally let the regret and the guilt eat you up from the inside out.“We grew up together, and I had no other woman on my mind.”

“Erwin I swear-”

“Let me finish….Is this because of the accident?”

“N-no!”

“The day I brought you to work...I should’ve known you didn’t truly love me the way I loved you.”

“Erwin no, no I swear I do love you.”

“You were more attentive to Jean than you have been to me in a few months.

“I’m sorry….Erwin i’m sorry.” 

“Y/N…”

“Please this isn't me I wouldnt-”

“Y/N!”

You blinked and saw that you were staring at the ceiling. The dark room was illuminated slightly by the light pole out of the street. There you saw the shadow of your husband sitting up next to you. He reached his hand and touched your thigh causing you to flinch slightly. “Erwin-''

You shakily let out a sob and rubbed your eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, dear.”

“I-i cheated…”

“You did?!”

“You just checked my messages.”

“Baby I just woke up.”

You grabbed your phone and searched through it. “I-I didn’t..”

“It was a dream love.” Erwin scooted over and pulled you down and into his chest. You bit your lip and sighed. “You’re not mad at me?” He shook his head and sighed. “I would expect you to have a nightmare like that considering the accident we recently had.”

You rubbed his bicep down to his forearm which was replaced by a prosthetic a few months ago. “Thinking about it. We haven’t had sex in a long time...and judging by my performance in the bedroom-”

“Erwin no! Stop it. You’re perfectly fine.”

He huffed and threw his arm over his head looking at the ceiling. “I just didn’t want you to look down on me.”

“Erwin, you're my husband. I would never.”

“Can I know about the dream?”

You gulped and nodded. “Fine. It all started when…”

Minutes passed and Erwin wasn’t angry at all. He was humored by the details of the “affair”.

“So I still had my arm and everything.”

“Yes.”

Erwin hovered over you and pecked your forehead. “I know you wouldn’t cheat, you don’t know how to hide your emotions.”

“I DO TOO!”

“No you don’t”

You smiled and rubbed down his arm again. “Erwin you don’t freak me out...please, you can sleep without the prosthetic.”

He sighed and hesitantly unhooked his prosthetic revealing his now gone forearm. You leaned up and pecked his bicep. “Sex isn’t what defines our relationship.” You said. Erwin lied down softly on top of you, nuzzling his head into your neck. “The only idea I liked in your dream was going to France with you.”

You giggled a bit feeling his warm breath on your skin. You stroked through his blonde hair(messing it up a little) and drifted off to sleep. 

You tried so much to convince yourself that, that is what happened that night.

Later you felt yourself being shaken again.

 “Mrs. Smith...wake up.” 

Mrs. Smith? Did you fall asleep at work? No- you were just in bed with Erwin. You opened your eyes to see yourself in an office, in a skyscraper overlooking the city. Beside you sat Erwin with a case and he seemed concerned. “What happened?” You asked. The woman handed you some water and you sipped from it. “You’ve been under a lot of stress and you fainted on us.”

“Oh, right, right.” You looked around and focused your attention on some paperwork that sat on the desk in front of you. “What were we doing again?”

Erwin cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “The divorce papers.” Your breath hitched in your throat. Now you were divorcing the man you loved. You realized that too late. Jean didn’t mean a thing. He was half the man Erwin was. But yet it still wasn’t enough for you.

You sighed and hesitantly signed the papers, you wanted Erwin to be free, to be happy.

After the divorce was finalized you caught up with him in the parking lot. “Erwin, wait!” You stood in front of his car, panting from running in your heels. You can tell this situation has taken a toll on him. He grew a stubble, his eyes looked dead, and visible bags were forming under his eyes. He rolled down his window, not caring to come outside to speak to you. “Am I allowed…”

He raised his eyebrow wanting you to finish the sentence. “Can I still love you?”

Erwin scoffed and smirked looking down. “I’m serious!”

“You weren’t serious about our marriage.”

You had no rebuttal. “Actually, love me as much as you want Y/N. You’ll truly see how it feels to yearn. for someone who doesn’t love you back.”

“You don’t mean that.” You started to tear up and you stepped to the side of his car. He then rolled up his windows and started moving out of the parking spot and started leaving the parking garage. You fell to your knees crying and you rubbed your biceps. “I fucked up.”

It didn’t fully sink in yet, what you had lost. But you can only blame yourself. You picked up your phone and dialed, hoping he would pick up.

“The divorce was finalized.” Was the first thing you said. Not allowing him to say ‘hello’.

“Well...what the hell are you waiting for? I’m in room 306 this time.”

[arteastica]

Early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (21)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (22) | (23) | (22) | (23) | (24)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 2.4k

“Are you going to him?”

“Commander?”

“Are you going to meet him now?”

Authoritative. Overbearing. Rude. Those were not words you would’ve used to describe his tone. How could you, when there was nothing to describe? His voice was just empty, dry and cold. Much like the winter you could see inside his eyes.

“Who?” You asked, unable to think of anything other than how this was the first time you had locked eyes with him in what felt like a lifetime. And things had surely changed in there. Traces of that dependable kindness you remembered, or that ever-present warmth you always found in him, were nowhere to be seen, but there was something new in their place. And, although you weren’t exactly sure what it was, one thing was for certain: you didn’t like it. “If you could explain, maybe I-”

“I asked you a question.” He spoke calmly and clearly, in a quiet and monotone voice. The type that is typically used when kindly disagreeing with strangers, because it is hard to imagine someone could get offended by it.

Yet you did.

You did, because never before, not even back then when you were perfect strangers who had never shared a bed, had his voice sounded so impersonal, flat, and devoid.

And it hurt.

So very much.

His voice, like the gentle tapping of raindrops on the roof an early Sunday morning, like the gleeful ring of the school bell right before the summer begins, that caramel voice he had always used with you, a voice that was just as easy to fall in love with as it was on the ears… had never sounded so dull and toneless before. Almost as if it belonged to somebody else, to someone else’s boss maybe, one who was very tired, and very dissatisfied with his assistant’s performance.

Could it be that in the end, hundreds of nights after you started working for him, just when you thought you had it all figured out… Could if be that finally the inevitable had happened? Did you end up disappointing him after all? Regardless of how hard you had tried to avoid such an outcome?

No.

You refused.

You had worked so hard to prove yourself wrong. To show yourself that, even though you didn’t have Mikasa’s skill, Reiner’s strength, Eren’s determination, Jean’s leadership, Sasha’s charisma, or Armin’s wits, you had whatever was left, and for eight months at least, that had seemed to be good enough.

It was here, at the Survey Corps, as his assistant, where you had finally been given a taste of confidence, and for the first time in a lifetime of self doubt, felt like you belonged, like you were enough. So no, you refused to let today become the day that was going to change.

And like so, you tried to search for an answer through the confusing haze that was your head, you tried to search for clues despite the invisible chord tightly wrapped around your neck. And, in such state of distress, there was only one you could think of.

“Leon?” When the name left your lips, you swore you saw something flicker in his eyes, maybe an indication that your guess was correct. And you didn’t know if he found your answer helpful, because in your case, it only left you with even more questions. “I- Commander I don’t understand. Why does it matter?”

“That’s an answer I was hoping I could get from you.” He replied, very matter-of-factly, and you wished he would show some sort of emotion, raise his voice, frown, click his tongue, shake his head, anything, so you could at least get a clue of where this conversation was heading to. Because right now you had no idea where Leon fit into this.

And no, by the way, you weren’t going to meet him. Turns out you and him didn’t have a lot to talk about after all, unlike what Lord Koch had suggested. You enjoyed his fascinating tales and refreshing perspectives for about an hour or so. Then, you drank some tea in the dining hall, where he asked for your opinion on some poem he had written on his way here, and after that, you took him to see Jean, with whom apparently he did have a lot to talk about. And although they were both too polite to explicitly ask you to leave, you read the room, and it told you in capital letters that they needed space to catch up. And like so, you had decided to retreat to your office, where for some reason only the Commander seemed to know, you were currently being interrogated about whether you had plans to meet your friend that night.

“I’m not going t-” Wait. You stopped in your tracks, letting the sudden idea cross your mind first so it wouldn’t run you over. “Do you think that-? Oh. Commander- I- there’s nothing between us. He’s just a friend.”

“Is that so?” He replied, and it only took one peek into his midnight eyes to know that he didn’t believe you. “If that’s the case, then why did he-”

He seemed to reconsider his options just seconds before completing his sentence, choosing instead a long sigh as replacement for whatever words were supposed to come out of his lips. And you swore he had never looked and sounded so exhausted before.

“Forgive me. It was never my place to ask questions I probably made you very uncomfortable with.” Being the artful, calculating leader of the Survey Corps, he knew very well how to compose himself swiftly and without leaving any emotional traces. “You may go.” He sure knew how to choose his battles and when to retreat.

But that was him. Not you.

“No.” You said, surprising even yourself. “Then why what? What is it that you wanted to ask?” You tried to watch the tone of your words. He was your boss, after all. But it was not easy, and you wondered if this was the same kind of frustration the sun feels when it tries to shine but clouds just keep getting on its way. “What makes you think that there’s something between Leon and I?”

He didn’t answer, choosing to stare at you instead. And if he was trying to read you, then it was certainly a fair game, because you were doing just the same. Only that, it wasn’t easy to see anything beyond the darkness in his eyes.

It would be so simple, to fix things. He just needed to tell you why he thought there was something between you and Leon, and then you could sort it out. Then, you could explain to him why he was wrong. Whatever the misunderstanding, you were sure that if given the chance to explain, he would understand. He would understand that Leon was just a friend, that you weren’t even that close, and that a small present didn-

“A box of figs?” You suddenly asked, praying that this wasn’t the answer, because the idea made you feel like it was lava flowing through your veins. “Is this about the figs? Because if it is-” You snorted and looked at the ceiling, in part because you wished you could find another, more logical answer there, but more so because you needed to contain whatever emotions were threatening to spill out of your eyes. “Do you think I’m going to fall in love with him because he gave some candies?” You still weren’t ready to look at him, but you needed his eyes to answer the question you were about to ask. You knew they wouldn’t lie. So, against any type of survival instinct and without any kind of protection, you ventured into the snow storm that were his eyes. “Do you think I fell for you because you bought me a damn box of figs? Didn’t know I looked that easy.”

“You know that’s not-”

“Then what?!”

“Of course it’s not about the figs.” He stood up abruptly, and the change in his voice told you that there was something else. Maybe a lot more, judging by the closed fist now hanging to his side.

You wanted to be patient. To stay calm, and polite, and collected, and all those pretty adjectives they say you need in order for communication to flourish. But, as you looked into his eyes, you only felt more and more hurt.

To think you had spent the last few nights wide awake, asking the ceiling why he didn’t love you back, not daring to close your eyes because every time you did, you only saw him, smiling in sepia flashbacks of what once was, but wasn’t anymore. And yet, here he was, questioning your loyalty and whether you were seeing another man behind his back.

It was suffocating. Staying in this room, where even the air screamed his name. But if that was the issue, then you weren’t sure there was a place you could escape to. Because, even when it came to your own body, you struggled to think of a single patch of skin he hadn’t kissed, a single part of yourself where his touch didn’t linger.

“You know what. I wasn’t going to meet him, but now I might.” You heard a wry snort escape your lips, just in time for your vision to get blurry. “Because being with a friend is better anyway than going to my room to spend another night crying about you.” You took a step towards the door, but turned around when you heard him push his chair back. “It’s so unfair, you know. So unbelievably unfair.” The cracks in your voice warned you that if you kept talking you were going to break, but if you didn’t tell him now then when? “All I do is think about you, day and night, and you think I can’t wait to finish my shift so I can spend time with another man? You know how unbelievably un-”

“And you think it’s easy for me?” He took a step closer. And now that the desk wasn’t in between, you felt even more vulnerable. “One moment I’m holding you and you’re calling me by my name, and the next, you’re not even looking my way. And then-” He shook his head slightly, as if trying to shake off the urge to say more. And you were honestly done begging him to tell you what it was. “I agree. It’s so unfair.”

“And do you think I just woke up one day and said ‘you know what, I’m going to ignore him’?” You hated it. How even in this situation, your body craved his touch, his scent, his lips. “Do you think I wanted this to stop?” And how bad you needed him to hold you right now. “What we had.” Like the first time, so many nights ago, in the Forest of Giant Trees. “Whatever it was.” You hated how tempted you were to throw yourself into his arms, bury your face in his chest and cry. “Do you think I would purposely ruin it all up?” Cry until his white shirt was all wet, and disgusting, and messed up. “The early mornings, the rainy afternoons, even the late night shifts…” You hated that you wanted him to run a soothing hand across your back and tell you that it was going to be okay. That this wasn’t the end. “…The good nights.” Oh, the good nights… you hated how bad you missed the sight of his bare back under the moonlight, left cheek squished against the pillow, freckles on his shoulders like stars on the midnight sky. “The sex.”

And most of all, you hated how little sense it all made. Why did it have to end when there was still so much left? Why did you have to close the book when there were still entire chapters you wanted to write? And why were your lungs acting as if you had just outrun a horde of titans, when your feet had been planted there the whole time?

In front of him.

Close to his warm body.

So close it took him less than a second to pull you by the waist, and make you lean against the desk, your chest rising and falling against his, in clumsy attempts to manage whatever little oxygen was available in the room. And it was either the lack of air, or the hard wood uncomfortably poking the back of your thighs, but your legs felt as firm as a house of cards. And, anticipating they would give in anytime now, your hands promptly reached for the firm, solid muscles of his chest.

And there in his hold, with his heart beating under your palm, and your insides feeling as fizzy as the contents of the glasses some merrier souls were clinking at the dining hall just a few rooms away, you realized his eyes were mirroring back the same questions you had been asking just moments ago.

There in his hold, with his strong arm possessively wrapped around your waist, and his left thigh finding its way between your legs, you felt reclaimed, like a crumpled up piece of paper that had been picked up again after spending countless nights discarded on the cold floor.

His glacial eyes were to your skin what raindrops to the cobblestones on the hottest day of the summer, and as you stared into them, realized it had been ages since you had seen the color blue. And now that you looked closer, close enough to see the speckles of brown in his irises, you weren’t actually sure if there was something new in there, or if something was missing instead. What had he seen today in the field? What had he learned out there? Or perhaps, what had he lost?

“What happened?” Determined to find out, you placed the question against his lips. Softly, like the kisses he would cover you in not too many nights ago.

“Erwin.” His name left your lips like a plea, almost as if it held the key to all the answers you were looking for.

But the only thing you got for a reply, was his hand on the back of your neck, so warm it burned, his thumb pushing your jaw and tilting your head back, leaving your neck completely exposed to him.

“You.” His lips whispered against the tender skin of your neck, making it impossible for you to resist the need to lean against the thick, well-muscled thigh that he, being the gentleman he is, had so readily provided between your legs. “That’s what happened.”

-

next chapter

taglist: @elnyrae @mchlist @angelaevangelion @depitaangeline @ynackerman9499 @afatalheat @pumpkin-toffee @velouria17 @gassytritis @goddessinsweats @nube55 @jeanboyjean @crazychaoticizzy @braunsbabe @erwinawesomeness @apts2000 @lucifers-nipple-piercing

[lazyexcuse]

*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

[ponderingmoonlight]

Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

[purrsuit1]

Shiganshina when you know what happened .. :(

Oh and fyi I’m very grey when it comes to aot ships, I don’t ship eruri directly but I love them as an aro soulmate type of deal, (like, nothing can stop us but I’d die for you bcs you mean the world to me bro) but if you want to see this as shipping material, go ahead!! It’s up to you <3

[hanjisungslag]

Headcanons for when aot men get jealous? Maybe seeing reader and someone else spending time together and getting agitated and then dragging them away - ‘Pay attention to me not them.’ sort of vibe.

💢 aot men & jealously

characters included: eren, armin, connie, jean, reiner, bertolt, erwin and levi.

notes: this ask had me floored.

☆ eren jaeger

he caught you and reiner talking to each other AGAIN.

this has happened one too many times and eren finally loses it.

he’d definitely say something like “what about spending time with your boyfriend instead of him, hm?”

very temperamental about the whole thing..

one second he’ll be furious, next he’ll be sad, next he’ll be happy you’re back to spending time with each other

but mostly angry over it.

he storms over and pushes reiner away from you as he comes between the both of you, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing with MY partner?” eren asked threateningly “woah eren we were just—” but before reiner could say anything, eren grabbed your arm and stormed off with you.

☆ armin arlert

you and jean are very close friends

too close, your boyfriend may say.

armin usually lets things slide at first, he doesn’t want to come off as overbearing or jealous

also you and jean are just friends at the end of the day, right?

but one day, you and jean are laughing away as usual and armin asks what’s so funny and you say..

“oh, it’s an inside joke. you wouldn’t get it.”

after you said this, you continued to laugh. but armin had reached his breaking point, he slammed his hands on the dinner table and rose from his seat turning to face you, “y/n. get up.” your smile drops as you also get up from your chair. you two walk out the dinner hall. armin quickly speaks up “pay attention to me, not him.”

☆ connie springer

you and berty boy were spending wayyy too much quality time together.

making you spend less time with your own boyfriend!

connie obviously took this to heart and had to do what a man’s gotta do

aka pull a prank on bert.

every single day for like 2 weeks, connie would do something just to cause him inconvenience.

just like hiding his things right before practice, stealing food off his plate, replacing his sugar with salt, messing up his laundry etc.

but now what was connie going to do with you? after he pulled one of his pranks on bert he saw you HELPING him so not only do you spend all your time with him but now you’re ruining connie’s revenge plan? nope, not happening. he slams bert’s door open not taking any notice that the both of you are trying to talk to him, he just grabs you and pulls you into the hall. “last time i checked, i was your boyfriend. so, stop acting like bert is.”

☆ jean kirstein

there was someone in the survey corps who clearly had a thing for you

but you didn’t seem to notice. supposedly.

anyways, you guys would spend quite a bit of time together especially during expeditions.

jean obviously took offence to this and what does he do?

showboats🗣️🗣️

while on an expedition, you and this guy were chatting away, killing titans, all the usual stuff. but little did you know, from the back, jean was watching all of this happening and he was getting pissed off. his anger built up so much that when it came to killing the titans be whipped out half of them on his own. everyone was super impressed and the girls started complimenting you for having such a strong, brave boyfriend.

he pulls you aside afterwards and says “that was because of you and him, you know? so, you better start paying more attention to me now.”

☆ reiner braun

there was this one guy from garrisons who adored you!

and you thought he was sweet and you’d always try and catch up with him when you could.

which reiner would say was too often.

reiner would definitely intimidate this guy with how huge he is.

it’d be intimidating even reiner wasnt massive because he was just a garrison.

he’d pump his chest out more and wrap his big arms around you in front of him to prove how much bigger and better he was.

and when it came to you, he was so mad. as you stepped away from the garrison guy, he took his arm off of you and grabbed you by the shoulders turning you to face him. “hey. you better stop talking to that fucking whimp. i’m your boyfriend.”

☆ bertolt hoover

you and connie were super close.

you both trained together, love pulling pranks and just bounce off each other so well.

some people sometimes even think you’re a couple..!

but you already have a boyfriend.

bert doesn’t like to speak up about how he feels for a while until something really tips him over the edge.

bert always used to ignore how close you and connie were, he was too shy to say anything in the first place but he also didn’t want to ruin your guys’ relationship by being jealous. that was until someone asked if you and connie were a couple. that was his final straw. he calmly walked over to you but grabbed you with a grip you wouldn’t expect from bertolt. you found yourself outside with him where he looks you dead in the eyes “unless you actually want connie to be your boyfriend, you better start paying more attention to me, y/n.”

☆ levi ackerman

you mostly worked in the offices after a bad injury.

and there was this one librarian who really took a liking to you.

but, you’re already coupled up with mr. ackerman.

levi sees you guys talking all the time. sees that you’re in the library quite a lot even when you don’t need to be.

because of this he delegated menial work to him and even you, when he’s feel mean.

but when he catches you STILL talking while doing the tasks he set for you, he loses it.

you got distracted from your task when your little librarian friend starts discussing this ancient book he discovered the other day and as you were chatting away, you heard the door creak.. you jump out of your skin, trying to return to your task but it was too late. levi had already seen you. he calmly marched towards you and pulls you away to the other end of the library “is that what i said your task was, y/n? come here, i got a better task for you like helping your boyfriend. not this cretin.”

( however at the end of the week when things were all cleared up and you ask him about it he just says “me? jealous? no, i wasn’t.” )

☆ erwin smith

you and mike were working a little too closely lately.

erwin saw the way mike looked at you longingly

at first he thought it was nothing, he wasn’t even jealous!

until mike starts getting more physical

a shoulder brush here, a slight hand touch there

after this, he fully loses it.

erwin side eyes you and mine when he sees his hand gently brush up against yours, it could be pure accident but erwin couldn’t care less. he had gone too far. he marched over tall and mighty and swiftly stole you from mike “i’m the only man who gets to do that to you, you hear me?”