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evescole · 2 years

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eyes on me, babe || s.harrington

summary: steve harrington knew you like the back of his hand - except for one thing: your biggest fear. when he's kidnapped by the russians along with you and robin, he realizes he never wants to see you that afraid ever again.

aka the season 3 russians scene because i love angst warnings: detailed descriptions of injuries, panic attacks, cursing, physical violence/torture, angst she/her pronouns used, enjoy :)

Fear was such a complex emotion that often caused a train of reaction. You could probably list on one hand the amount of times you’ve felt true, heart-wrenching fear in your life. The situation in front of you threatened to move that amount up further and the dread in your stomach was building each second.

It took one glance for Steve to recognize the expression on your face. That was all it ever took for him. One glance and he could read you like his favorite novel. You and Steve were an open book with each other and had been since 7th grade. Then, you almost lost him to his King Steve era before Nancy Wheeler snapped him out of it. Despite all the drama and the arguments, you and Steve prevailed. You knew everything about each other down to the dark details but there’s one thing you’ve never told him.

“Come on, come on. I need a good one. Give me something juicy,” 17 year old Steve Harrington laughed as he leaned against the headboard behind him. “You can’t just say you aren’t afraid of anything. I know that’s a lie.”

It was movie night, a Friday tradition for the two of you when you weren’t chasing after his intoxicated form or struggling with work. More than often he ended up staying over so he didn’t have to return to his more-than-likely empty home. The movie had ended not long ago and faded into a game of random questions that you two played often. Most answers you already knew but you loved to watch him dig himself out of holes and light up at mentions of the kids, especially Dustin.

You shrugged your shoulders slightly from your place resting against his chest. “I mean yeah I’m scared of something but I’m not gonna tell you.”

“Why not! I tell you everything and you’re not gonna tell me your biggest fear?”

You grabbed his hand in yours. “Steve, it’s not that big of a deal.”

He shook his head aggressively from behind you as he closed the gaps and laced his fingers between yours. “But I wanna know! What kind of best friend am I if I don’t protect you from your biggest fear?”

Ever since then, he constantly spewed random guesses to what exactly could be so important you refused to share it. He swore up and down that he would never use it against you for fun but you still wouldn’t give him a slight hint and it drove him mad.

Staring at the large machine the Russians made that was spinning with energy, you tried to not think about the consequences if it worked. The Demogorgons, the Mind Flayer, the Upside Down. It wasn’t something fun to face and the idea of someone trying to reopen the gate was unnerving.

“I don’t get it, you guys have seen something like this before?” Robin asked as she walked in front of you down the stairs away from the Russian infiltrated room. The two of you had clicked easily, both pointing at Steve as a target of fun. You were thankful for her presence to keep your mind from going dark in the midst of the chaos.

“Not exactly,” Steve mumbled quietly as he glanced over his shoulder to the emerging blue light. He wasn’t up for fighting other worldly monsters and really just wanted to be in your room, in bed, cuddling and watching movies.

“Then what, exactly?” Robin countered. She was easily terrified and her confidence was shaken so this situation had her spiraling easily. Usually she could feel some sense of control but she felt helpless down here.

Your feet slipped on the stairs as you ran off the last one while Dustin and Steve attempted to convince Robin that the machine’s success would guarantee world destruction. Steve’s hand instantly caught your hip to keep you from falling as he answered Robin’s questions, unphased by your misstep. Glancing around the room, everything suddenly felt alarming and you took a step back in caution further into his hand.

“Um, Steve?” Erica seemed to pick up on it too as she looked to the boy behind you. “Where’s your Russian friend?” In a true group fashion, everyone’s eyes searched the room for the said missing soldier only to come up empty handed.

You reached over to grab Dustin’s arm just as a bright red light filled the room and an alarm followed. Steve scrambled to the nearest door where you could all see the previously knocked out man was gaining attention from his injury before guards rushed towards you.

“Shit. Shit,” Steve mumbled as he slammed the door shut before turning and pushing you all back up the stairs. “Go, go, go, go, go!!” His fingers grasped at your shirt as he nearly ripped it with the force of his grip.

“Fucking hell, Steve. This is not what I meant by a chill weekend!” You shouted backwards as Dustin guided you through a door. With your luck, it was straight into another room filled with soldiers. You stood frozen for a second before sprinting to the left with a shout.

“Come on!” You held onto Dustin’s arm as he continuously cursed in distress. The stairs in front of you led down to the side of the machine as the room vibrated with energy. Dustin randomly shrieked and pushed the soldier to your left before he continued to run ahead of you.

Stopping just alongside the laser drilling into the wall, Dustin began screaming louder, “Holy shit! Holy shit! Shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” He shouted one final time, holding the word out for longer as you stared at him incredulously.

“Guards!” Erica yelled, snapping you all out of your staring trance before Steve began to run further down the steps. He didn’t hesitate to shove a man over the railing of the stairs before tossing some empty barrels into more oncoming attackers.

“Steve!” You grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged him with you as you followed Robin’s lead into a hopefully empty room. After a brief headcount, Steve slammed it shut, using his body weight to keep it that way as guards started hitting it from the other side.

Dustin and Erica scrambled behind you to find some other form of exit as Robin pushed herself next to Steve in an attempt to keep the door from opening. Your eyes scanned the room for something, anything that could help. The heavy feeling was creeping in again and you jerked your head around to look at Steve in hopes of reassurance.

“Shit, shit, shit,” You whispered to yourself as you saw the door start to pry open. Without a second thought, you were on Robin’s right side and pushed yourself in between the door and the wall for some sort of resistance.

“Here, come on! Let’s go!” Erica lifted up the grate of an air shaft before climbing in with Dustin hovering behind her. You hesitated at her call, knowing there wouldn’t be enough time for all of you to get over and in before a gunshot went off.

“Go! Just get out of here!” You shouted in return as your feet started to slide beneath you. Your breathing was beginning to pick up and you were quick to try and talk yourself out of the panic attack incoming but it was useless.

Dustin stepped down into the drop of the vent and looked up at the three of you. “Go! Come on, now!”

“No! Just go get some help, okay?” Steve responded. His hands were sweaty with adrenaline and he suddenly doubted his ability as a so-called leader to keep everyone safe. Removing the kids was always the first step in a dangerous situation but knowing you were here and he couldn’t guarantee your safety was enough to send his heart into his throat.

“I won’t forget you!” Dustin screamed before the three of you told him once more to go. The second the air vent cover clanged shut, the door behind your back threw you forward and into the wall on your right sending your head into the concrete wall. A scream almost left your throat at the pain radiating through your skull before you crumbled to the ground next to Robin and Steve.

Guns were suddenly in your face, the sinking feeling of dread now overwhelming as you tried to breathe. Your hands shook as you raised them in the air, mimicking Steve and Robin’s actions as the guards surrounding your small trio.

Sparing a quick glance towards Steve, you tried to convince yourself you would find a way out of this. The uncertainty in his expression didn’t help in the slightest but it only got worse when rough hands latched onto your skin and pulled you from the ground. Your vision blurred with the movement as you tumbled forward.

“No!” You couldn’t tell if you or Steve screamed louder as the guards yanked your arms behind your back to secure your wrists with a belt. “Let me go!” Writhing in their grip, you couldn’t even begin to think of any defense other than biting the hand of whoever was holding your left arm. A sharp sting spread across your face before a gasp escaped your mouth at the sensation. You guys were screwed.

“Don’t touch her! Let her go, she didn’t do anything!” Steve shifted on the floor towards you before a gun pressed harshly against his forehead forcing him back against the wall with a harsh swallow.

The guard holding your arm chuckled at the action, evidently amused. “Weak. Cares what happens to her.” You could understand bits and pieces of his sentence as you silently thanked Dustin for his books on Russian translation. “Take her.”

An ear piercing scream left your throat as they tugged you backwards towards a long hallway. Robin and Steve shouted in panic, both of them too scared to try anything but fearing for your safety. Your cries continued as they pulled you out of view, Steve wincing at the sound like it physically pained him. He never liked when you were upset. He could count the times you’ve cried in front of him on two hands and he swore it hurt him more each time he sat through it and comforted you.

Now, sitting here, with a gun to his head, Steve could only watch as you were ripped from his view with a clear expression on your face that made him sick to his stomach. You were terrified, and there was nothing he could do to help.

The room they held you in was freezing. A shiver ran up your spine every so often as you curled up as best as possible. Every so often you could hear a shout from Steve down the hall causing you to wince at the sound. Your shoulders were tense with the awkward position of your hands being behind your back. All you could do was sit there and wait with hopes that Dustin and Erica would come back soon with some help.

The lock on the door clicked as it shoved open to reveal three Russian guards. Your heart clenched at the sight of blood on their knuckles and you prayed it wasn’t Steve’s or Robin’s. Harsh fingers pressed into your jaw, forcing you to look up into the commander’s eyes.

“He cries for you,” He spoke as he leaned down to your face. “Lies to us to protect you. Shame, isn’t it?”

You twisted your face out of his grip as you glared up at him. “Don’t fucking touch him. I swear to God you’ll regret it.” The notion of Steve being hurt enraged you and terrified you at the same time. You were always so used to his strong exterior that the idea of him being in pain made you want to throw up.

The commander laughed at your attempt to suede him before pain suddenly radiated into the side of your already concussed head. Thrown off balance, you fell back against the bench with a harsh groan as you realized the other guard punched you.

“Oh great, you guys aren’t above hitting females, that’s awesome.” You hissed as your vision blurred again and your ears rung. The metal was cool beneath your back but it didn’t bring any comfort. “Fuck that hurts.”

“Who do you work for?”

Cruel fingers dug into your shoulders and forced you to sit up. You groaned at the movement of your head. “I’m a babysitter. I watch kids. Steve and Robin work at the ice cream place, Scoops Ahoy.” Apparently your answer wasn’t good enough as another aggressive punch had you tumbling to the floor. The copper taste in your mouth told you that one broke skin as you attempted to roll onto your back. “Fucking hell you people are so aggressive.”

“How did you get down here?”

Pushing yourself against the wall behind you, the thought of just screaming at them crossed your mind but you had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well. “There was an elevator at the loading dock and you morons turned it on while we were in it,” You explained as you closed your eyes, wishing this would all disappear. “We didn’t mean to, okay? And if you let us go, we’ll act like nothing ever happened and you’ll never see us again.”

The thing about hiding from reality is things caught you off guard. You always relied on Steve to keep you safe when you wanted to relax and shelter yourself from the darkness of life. He was always there too, until suddenly he wasn’t and you didn’t have time to clock the aggressive kick coming towards you. The sound of your shoulder popping out of its socket was sickening but the scream that followed was even louder.

“Holy shit!” You hissed as tears escaped your eyes at the force of the injury. If this was their reaction to honest answers, you feared what would come if they didn’t believe you. Evidently, you were on the path to finding out as two guards pulled you up off the ground and began leading you out of the room.

Digging your heels into the ground, you tried to stop their movements but it was fruitless. The pressure in your shoulder was suffocating and your head rattled with each aggressive movement. “Let me go!” You begged repeatedly, trying to kick out or twist from their grip. Another door was open and in a blur, you were tossed to the floor again with a loud groan. “Ow, oh my God.”

“Y/N!” The concern in Steve’s voice couldn’t be missed as you attempt to keep yourself from passing out. The ceiling blurred above you as you tried to blink it back into focus. “Holy shit, are you okay?”

A loud groan replaced your words as you pushed yourself onto your knees as best as possible. The light burned as you flopped onto your ass before finally looking up at him. The blood on his face was bright against his usually clear skin and you could see bruising already forming on his cheek. Other than that, he didn’t look too torn up as he sat on the metal bench in front of you.

“Stevie…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” He attempted to reassure you but it failed as you recognized a flitter of pain in his eyes. “It’ll be fine, it’s worse than it looks. Wh-What did they do to you?”

You let out a bitter laugh as you forced yourself to stand on shaky legs before sitting next to him. He didn’t hesitate to turn towards you and pull his feet up on the bench like you so both of you were sitting across from each other. The bare skin of his shin and calf muscle rested against yours, a small sense of comfort from the horrendous situation.

“Your cheek is bruised,” He states abruptly as you continued to look at him. He was nervous, you could tell, but he wasn’t as tense as before you were thrown into the room. The exhaustion was clear on his face and you felt the same, you were just glad to be near him again.

“Concussion and my shoulder’s gonna need to be popped back into the socket, no biggie.”

His eyes widened in shock before returning to their comforting gaze as he moved closer to you. The fear in his throat was suffocating and he hated knowing you had to see him like this, that you were even going through any of it. “We’re gonna get out of here.”

You laughed, letting your head rest against the wall behind you. “I wanna believe you, Stevie, but this one’s a bit harder than usual.” You were trying not to let the overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness consume you but it was hard. Tears burned your eyes as you took a deep breath to calm yourself down. “I just wanted to watch Breakfast Club with you and eat chicken wings and sleep.”

“I know, I know, bubs. And we will, as soon as we find Robin and get out of here. I promise. Gonna make you the best damn popcorn you’ve ever had, m’kay?” You nodded to his soft statement even though you wanted to make a comment about making promises you couldn’t keep.

Your peaceful silence was destroyed when the guards reentered the room. Steve’s body tensed next to you, both of you sitting up straighter. You wished they would just get whatever they wanted over with and leave you alone. At least then you and Steve could come up with some sort of plan in hopes of getting out.

“I ask you one more time, who do you work for?” The commander was done playing around evidently and without giving Steve time to answer, a silver gleaming knife was being pressed against your arm.

“Whoa whoa whoa!”

“Scoops Ahoy!” Steve screamed the answer at the same time as you yelled in shock. “I’m not lying, it’s in Starcourt Mall!”

A harsh punch landed on his stomach as the blade began to cut through your skin. Gritting your teeth in pain, you refused to let out any noise of discomfort. Steve was already blaming himself, you didn’t doubt that, but you wouldn’t let him feel any worse.

“How did you get in?”

Steve gasped for air to answer the question, “I already told you. I told you before. My delivery didn’t come, and my friends and I, we thought that it was left at the loading dock. We went in the room and then it turned into an elevator and then… and then we dropped and next thing I know I open my eyes and we’re in this… wonderful facility.”

The knife dragged through your skin slowly as you twitched in reaction, letting out a small groan that had Steve turning towards you so fast you swore he got whiplash. “No, no, no leave her alone! I’m telling the truth, I swear to God! Nobody knows about us, nobody saw us. You can just let us go alright, and-and we’re not gonna tell anybody about this, okay? Shit happens, life goes on-”

He continued to ramble long enough before you kicked the Russian in front of you in the stomach so the knife clanged to the floor. Blood pooled on your skin before you looked away from the wound with a wince. “Fucking hell! We’re telling the truth! Just let us go!”

The soldiers laughed at your desperation for freedom as you and Steve shared a glance of confusion. There was no chance to figure it out before a guard hit Steve across the face, sending him unconscious as you yelled in protest before darkness spread across your vision and you let the welcoming sleep win.

“Y/N. Y/N, Steve, wake up!”

Robin’s voice echoed in your ears as you let your head fall back with a groan. Someone else was behind you as your skull connected with theirs lightly.

“Y/N! Hi, hi. Are you okay?” Robin’s voice was clear now as you winced away from the light.

“Robs, shhh. Holy shit, I have a bad concussion,” You mumbled as you took a deep breath, ears ringing with her yelling. “Where’s Stevie?”

You tried to feel everything out: the ache in your shoulder and new cut on your arm, you were stuck with your wrists, chest, and thighs restrained against the chair behind you. Headache building each second, you turned to see Robin to your right and Steve to your left, the three of you in a triangle tied together.

“Steve?” You whispered as you tried to nudge him awake. Him being unconscious was the last thing you needed right now, the heavy pit in your stomach finally bursting when he didn’t answer. “Steve, c’mon wake up.”

“He’s been out since they threw you both in here. They haven’t been back since. Said something about bringing a doctor,” Robin explained softly, understanding the light and sounds bothered you without you having to say it.

You almost whined at her words, scared that maybe Steve wasn’t waking back up from the attack they landed on him. “Stevie, wake up. Wake up! You promised me we would get out of here. Wake up. You can’t leave me!” Vision tunneling and chest suddenly feeling like it couldn’t move, you feared the worst. A wave of dizziness washed over you as you tried to breathe through the tension in your throat that threatened to suffocate you. You shook your head to yourself. “No, no, no. C’mon. Not now.”

“Y/N, are you having a panic attack?” Robin asked the obvious question as she tried to look at you. “Whoa, hey, you gotta breathe okay? He’s gonna be fine.”

“Robin, I can’t,” You sobbed as you choked for air in your lungs, feet kicking the ground harshly as you tried to wiggle out. “I can’t lose him. He’s all I have, okay? I can’t, I won’t-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” She tried to reassure you but without being able to move, she had to rely on her words to do the best she could. “He’s probably just unconscious and worn out. He’ll be fine. If they wanted to kill him, they would’ve already.”

You knew she was doing her best but it wasn’t helpful enough to calm the racing in your heart. There was a point to her statement; if they wanted to get rid of you guys, they would’ve. Regardless, neither you or Steve did well seeing the other in pain.

“Hey, would you stop yelling?”

“Steve! Oh, my God!” Robin’s voice was full of worry as she leaned directly back against his left shoulder to try and see him better. “Are-Are you okay?”

He took a choppy deep breath, “My ears are ringing and I can’t really breathe, and my eye feels like it’s about to pop out of my skull, but you know, apart from that I’m doing pretty good.”

“Good, good, yeah, because Y/N over here is having a panic attack thinking you weren’t gonna wake up.”

“Robin!” You whined in embarrassment at her comment, letting your head drop to your chest. Small drops of blood smeared up and down from the deep slice on your left arm. You wanted nothing more than to just go home with the kids, shower, and cuddle up for movie night. A slight sense of relief came back when you heard Steve speak.

“Bubs,” Steve’s voice cracked as he tried to get your attention, eyes moving to look at you as best as possible. “You okay?”

Tears slipped down your cheeks at his voice and you were grateful he couldn’t see you fully. “Mhmm fine. Good.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Well sorry I’m not feeling very positive,” You mumbled back. Your injuries were starting to get the best of you and the tired feeling was hard to hold back. “Just wanna go to sleep.”

Steve’s leg kicked yours as gently as possible, his hip at an odd angle to reach you. “Nonono, hey, you have a concussion. Stay awake. You better stay awake.” You softly groaned at his word, letting your head rest gently on his shoulder even though it pulled your muscles uncomfortably.

“I can’t believe I’m gonna die in a secret Russian base with Steve “The Hair” Harrington and Y/N Y/L/N-Harrington.”

A beat of silence followed her statement before you spoke up. “Did you just hyphenate my last name with his?”

“Mhmm,” She hummed in agreement. “Because you two are rarely separated and you love each other so deal with it. It’s just too trippy, man.”

“We’re not gonna die,” Steve responded to the first part of her initial statement, ignoring the little nudge at your relationship. “We’re gonna get out of here, okay? You gotta let me just think for a second.”

Robin ignored his request for silence and kept mumbling, “Do you remember, um, Mrs. Click’s sophomore history class? Mrs. Clickity-Clackity. That’s what us band dweebs called her.”

“God, that woman hated me,” You added. Your headache was getting stronger by the minute and you prayed Steve had some kind of pain relief in his car.

“It was the first period, Tuesdays and Thursdays and Steve was always late. Always had the same breakfast: bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame bagel. I sat behind you two days a week for a year. Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself. Do you even remember me from that class?” Steve’s silence was enough of an answer for Robin before she scoffed. “Of course you don’t. You were a real asshole, you know that?”

Steve let out a small sigh before agreeing, “Yeah, I know.”

“But it didn’t even matter. It didn’t matter that you were an ass. I was still… obsessed with you. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular, accepted.”

“If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great,” Steve admitted as he let his head drop to rest against yours gently. “Seriously. It just baffles me. Everything that people tell you is important, everything people say you should care about, it’s all just… bullshit. But I guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?”

“I hope so. I feel like my whole life has been… one big error.” Robin’s response pulled a chuckle from you and Steve both. Somehow in the midst of the worst moments, Robin always brought that feeling out in you. “At least it can’t get any more messed up than this.”

You let out a small noise of protest. “Don’t jinx us, please.”

“I wish I’d known you in Click’s class,” Steve continued their hushed conversation. “Really, I do. Maybe you could’ve helped me pass the class. Y/N can only help me so much before it’s impossible.”

“Hey!” You grumbled, “Listen Harrington, sometimes the student is unteachable for the teacher, okay?”

He laughed at your defense, twisting just enough to press a kiss to your temple. “I’m kidding, bubs. You did great. You always do.”

The buzzer of the door ruined the moment as the commander and his guards entered the room again. This time though, a bald man in a white shirt with dark pants came with them and you could only guess this was the doctor Robin was referring to.

The commander leaned down in front of Steve. “Try telling the truth this time, yes? It will make your visit with Dr. Zharkov less painful.” His grimy hand ran down Steve’s neck in faux comfort as your best friend tried to lean away, wincing as the Russian’s thumb dug too hard into his bruises.

Your eyes followed the so-called “doctor” who held a large needle full of blue liquid. “Wait, whoa, what is that?” Your question was left unanswered for a moment as he continued to approach Steve. “Stop stop, leave him alone!”

“It will help you talk.”

“No, no, no!” Steve protested as the doctor pushed his head towards you before injecting the needle into his neck without a second of hesitation.

You turned your head as best as possible as he groaned next to you. “Steve, Stevie. Are you okay?” For all you knew, it could’ve been poison and he was gonna drop dead any second.

Shifting his jaw back and forth, he nodded to you. “Yeah, fine. For now.”

Your attention was drawn back to the doctor who grabbed another needle from his tray, turning to you. “Oh, fucking hell.” You tried to kick at his legs to keep him away before someone’s fingers dug into the raw skin on your arm. A scream left your lips, feet dropping back to the floor as fresh blood poured from the wound the same second the needle entered your neck.

“Let go! Get your hands off her!” Steve shouted from next to you as the doctor moved on to Robin before they left the three of you alone in the room again.

“Holy shit,” You gasped in shock as you watched the drops of blood fall down your arm. Thankfully none of you had stopped breathing yet, so maybe whatever they gave you wouldn’t be so bad.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Robin asked since she couldn’t see what you and Steve could.

“Asshole stuck his finger in my arm.” A sharp hiss left your teeth. This day definitely was not turning out the way you thought it would.

A few moments of silence passed between your trio. Nobody knew what to say. Emotions were tense and it had been over 24 hours since you had seen the normal sky and fresh air. You were exhausted, head leaning against Steve’s. You craved the peace and quiet of your room, his soft snores filling the air. Despite the coolness of your room, Steve’s skin was always warm and no matter how much you whined about being hot, he refused to not be holding you while you slept.

“Honestly, I don’t really feel anything. Do you?” Steve broke the quiet with a light attempt at humor.

“No,” You whispered quietly, voice threatening to give out from all the screaming.

“I mean, I… I feel fine,” Robin added, “I feel kinda good.”

Light laughter followed her statement from you and Steve. She wasn’t wrong, you kinda felt like you were floating on clouds. The pain faded slightly and everything just felt easy.

“Morons,” You snorted in laughter, “They messed up the drug.”

“They messed it up,” Robin couldn’t stop her giggles.

“Morons,” Steve called out, “Hey, morons!”

“Oh man,” You sighed with a smile once the laughter died down. “There’s definitely something wrong with us.”

The door buzzer sent a ringing through your ears as you complained loudly in annoyance. You could see the familiar guards and even the doctor had come to greet you again. The clinging of his metal tools as he unpacked his bag caught your attention easily. The twinge of terror in your chest didn’t last very long, blown away by whatever they injected into your body.

“Would now be a good time to tell you that I don’t like doctors?”

Robin’s joke was left without reaction this time as you stared at the shining tools. Now even more defenseless, you wondered if Dustin and Erica were somewhere safe. Maybe it was a good thing they never returned to help. At least you knew they wouldn’t have to see whatever happened next.

“Let’s try this again. Who do you work for?”

“Scoops,” Steve answered bluntly causing you and Robin to giggle, “Scoops Ahoy.”

“How did you find us?”

“Totally by accident,” You answered this time, not hesitating to give them a response. It was like your brain just wanted to talk and it wanted to say anything and everything that came to it.

Some Russian was spoken, something you weren’t sure of. The doctor picked up a pair of pliers from his tool set and stepped towards your best friend. “What is that shiny little toy?” The target of the command was oblivious to the danger heading his way.

“Stevie, maybe he’s gonna cut your hair,” You cackled at the idea of Steve losing his biggest trait. “Ha, you’re gonna be bald.”

Robin practically screamed with laughter seconds before Steve was screaming in terror as the doctor put the pliers beneath one of his nails. “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. Wait! No! Wait! Wait!”

“There was a code!” Robin blurted, “We heard a code!

The commander seemed somewhat pleased with the information. “What code?” He pushed further.

“The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. Blah, blah, blah. You broadcast that stupid spy shit all over town, and we picked it up on our Cerebro, and we cracked it in a day. A day!” Robin was particularly gleeful as she explained how you ended up here. “You think you’re so smart, but a couple of kids who scoop ice cream and watch kids for a living cracked your code in a day, and now, people know you’re here.”

“Who knows we are here, suka?”

“Uh, well, Dustin knows.”

In a flip of panic you turned towards him. “Hey, Steve.”

“Yeah, Dustin Henderson, he knows.”

“Stevie!” You yelled this time, hoping the force in your voice would make him shut up. No way, no way, was he going to sit here and rat out the little boy you considered your brother.

You hated the way Dustin’s name rolled off the commander’s mouth. “Is this your small, curly-haired friend?”

“Ah, curly-haired. Gread hair. Small. Kind of like a ‘fro. Yeah.”

“Where is he?”

Steve couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “He’s long gone, you big asshole. He’s probably calling Hopper and Hopper’s calling the US calvary. They’re gonna come in here, commando-style, guns a-blazin and kick your sorry asses back to Russia. You’re gonna be two pieces of toast.”

Laughter burst through your lips as your head fell forward. The ups and downs of your emotions were making you dizzy but this was so fun and dangerous and sickening.

“Is that so?” The commander bent down in front of Steve’s face to mock him. You all burst into another fit of giggles that only escalated when an alarm began blaring through the base. The commander and his two guards rushed from the room to diagnose the issue.

The door slammed open as you recognized Dustin’s high pitched yell before there was a zapping noise. The doctor’s figure crumbled to the ground from whatever the younger boy did before his curly hair was popping up in your peripheral vision.

“Hey, Henderson!” Steve was giddy at the boy’s presence in front of him. “That’s crazy, I was just talking about you.”

“Get ready to run!” Dustin’s command wasn’t left up for discussion as he yanked the belts holding the three of you together off. Erica quickly moved to untie Robin individually before Dustin’s hands were suddenly on your knees. “Y/N, holy shit. Are you okay?”

“Dusty!” Your voice was way too excited in his opinion as he tried to pull his eyes from the dried blood on your skin. His hands moved fast to free your ankles and wrists before he tucked an arm under your shoulder and helped you up. Unlucky for you, it was the one the Russians popped out of socket causing you to yelp and jump away from him. “Ow, that hurt!” Your pain was disguised in a fit of laughter as Dustin stared at you in concern.

“We gotta go. Come on.” Grabbing your wrist gently, he pulled you out of the monotone room that had consumed your thoughts for the past few hours. Handling you carefully, he helped you climb into the back of whatever transport they had found, Steve and Robin clambering in after. The door slammed shut, the ringing in your ears making you press your hands harshly against your head. Curling into yourself, you laughed as the cart began to move making you roll around like a ball.

“Jesus, slow down,” Steve’s words were slurring together as he tumbled into your side. His hands were as careful as possible as he tried to get off of you.

“Yeah, what is this, the Indy 500?”

“It’s the Indy 300,” Steve attempted to correct Robin’s statement but failed.

“No, dingus, it’s 500!”

“300!”

They two kept going before bursting into laughter again. Your senses were suddenly overwhelmed, the medicine they gave you blurring together as you dropped into a fit of panic. Head aching, chest tight, you clenched your fingers around your arms tightly as you tried to protect yourself as much as possible. Erica let out a shout before you were slammed against the metal walls of the cart, a cry leaving your lips as you hit your already bruised head. Dustin asked if you were alright but you were too busy trying to choke in air to answer.

More yelling followed before hands were pulling on you, yanking you from your comforting position. Whining as you moved, you let Steve and Dustin practically carry you along slowly into the elevator you came here in.

The chaotic elevator ride went in a blur, Steve and Robin giggling a little too loud for your enjoyment. Dustin was trying to check your best friend’s stability before his finger was poking into his neck where they had injected the drugs earlier. The ride back up to ground level didn't take too long and eventually, Dustin held your hand tightly as he led you from the elevator back out into the fresh air of the night. You thought you were in the clear and could finally go home, take a shower, and go to sleep. That idea slipped away quickly as Dustin started yelling and pulled you back through the side doors of the mall while Erica attempted to corral Steve and Robin. You caught a quick glimpse of the two Russians undercover that were running towards you.

“Whoa!” Steve shouted excitedly as your group turned a corner sharply in the back halls of the mall.

“Where are we going?” Erica asked Dustin, who didn’t give her a clear answer. Soon enough, he was pulling you through the door that led to the movie theater hallway and into an ongoing showing of Back to the Future.

Your feet couldn’t keep up as he ran towards the bottom row, demanding you, Steve, and Robin take a seat. Steve broke out into complaints about the shitty view while shoving someone’s discarded popcorn into his mouth.

“Whatever you do, don’t go anywhere,” The younger boy directed.

“Fine, Dad,” Steve scoffed, earning giggles from Robin. You watched Dustin and Erica shift down the aisle to two other open seats. Steve slumped down aggressively, throwing more popcorn than he could chew into his mouth, mumbling that he had no idea what was happening.

Three minutes went by of your trio staring dumbly at the movie screen before Robin spoke up, “Guys. I’m bored.”

“Me too,” Steve blurted a little too excitedly. You looked over at both of them to see their expectant eyes staring right at you. Dustin’s words be damned, you were bored and hungrier than shit.

Moving quickly to the left, you snuck back out the same hall you had walked through. Food forgotten, the water fountains you found looked much more appetizing as you crumbled against it and chugged down water like you’d never seen it before.

Plopping on the floor, you let Robin take over the water fountain you previously occupied. Steve started conversing with her again but their words faded to whispers as you stared forward. Whatever they gave you down in the lab was causing panic after panic. Slumping forward, you wrapped your arms tightly around your legs as you tried to slow your breathing. You thought once you left that elevator you’d be free, but realizing that the guards lurked around every corner was enough to freak you out, especially when you figured out how vulnerable your group was.

“Steve!”

Your cry had his attention instantly, laughter disappearing immediately as he turned to you. He felt bad, but whatever the guards gave him made him want to giggle again. He clumsily clattered to the floor next to you. “Y/N, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Hands were on your arms, your bare skin touching his. “Okay, okay. That’s okay, just breathe for me.” He was trying to walk himself through the normal steps. Helping you through a panic attack wasn’t abnormal to him, and he was always willing to keep you from suffering alone.

“I-I don’t know, it’s too much,” You admitted as you crawled into his lap, letting him hold you like a child. Tingling ran through your limbs, numb to the point where you could barely feel the warmth of Steve’s hold on you. “I can’t, it hurts, everywhere. We can’t get out of here, a-and and you, you weren’t waking up and-”

“Y/N, hey. Eyes on me, babe. I’ve got you.” His fingers were soft as they moved your chin to look up at him. He had never seen your body so tense, so rigid. He knew ever since the demogorgon attack that the nightmares were getting worse but you always, always insisted that you were fine.

You cried into his bloody uniform, hands refusing to let go of his wrists. “I was so scared, I didn't think you were gonna come back to me and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I never told you but I didn’t want anything to happen if I did and I’m just so so scared of losing you, Stevie. Can’t even imagine a world without you and I thought you left me alone and… and…”

So, here you were, a bloody mess in Starcourt Mall when the secret broke free that you had hidden from Steve Harrington for so long. Your biggest and greatest fear had always been so close under his nose and he had no idea. Maybe it was obliviousness or just denial but he had never realized how important he was to you.

You were scared, terrified, of losing him to the point where you didn’t want to risk speaking it into existence. Now, it all made sense though. The moments of hesitation when a plan involved him in the front lines, the over worry when he got into a fight, or the simple things like making him dinner and staying in his usually empty house so he didn’t feel alone.

You couldn’t live in a world where Steve Harrington wasn’t yours.

He felt stupid that he didn’t see it sooner, but you were so good at hiding things when you wanted to. He had slowly been figuring your patterns out but this one was just right out of his reach.

“Shh, it’s okay. C’mere.” His arms held you close, chin resting on your head, tucking you into his neck as he tried to bring you any sense of comfort, to let you know he was here and he was okay. You curled closer into his body, trying not to disturb the wounds on his face. “M’not gonna go anywhere, bubs. Promise. Could never leave you.”

Robin couldn’t help but stare, mesmerized at the way the two of you fit together like missing puzzle pieces. She admired it, yet despised it because she never would get to experience it. You were like soulmates, destined to be entwined infinitely in the universe. She begged, hoped, dreamed that someone would show up and love her for her the way Steve loved you. There was a lot of room for her to grow, to open up to the two of you about who she really was and she would, soon.

“Hey,” She cursed herself as she interrupted your small moment, her eyes drifting upwards as she let her head fall back. “Is the ceiling spinning for you guys too?”

You sniffled as you pulled your head away from Steve’s neck to look up at the indeed bright, moving lights. It was gorgeous, a blend of soft yet bright and elegant color.

Your stomach shifted uncomfortably before all three of you were scrambling to the nearest bathroom to rid your bodies of the toxins that had been plaguing you. You tried not to be too grossed out on the bathroom floor and the cold porcelain toilet you were resting your head on. Letting out a small groan, you tucked yourself against the corner of the stall between the wall and the toilet, letting yourself slump in exhaustion.

“The ceiling stopped spinning for me,” Robin said as she broke the silence. You could see the backs of her thighs as she let her legs rest upwards against the stall. “Is it still spinning for you?” Taking a second, you looked up and shook your head no, forgetting that she couldn’t see you.

“Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?” Steve asked from the stall next to you. You could barely see his blue shoes and knee high socks against the multicolored floor.

“Maybe, ask me something,” Robin suggested before changing to a Russian accent, “Interrogate me.”

Steve let out a small chuckle, “Okay, interrogate you. Sure. Um, when was the last time you peed your pants?”

“Today,” Robin answered without hesitation, “When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw.”

A short laugh left your mouth as Steve mumbled something about the drug still being in Robin’s system. You felt fine now - not back to normal but you didn’t feel as floaty and instead, your body was riddled with pain and exhaustion but you were just glad to be out.

“Alright, my turn. Have you… ever been in love?”

“Yep. Nancy Wheeler, first semester, senior year,” He made a noise with his mouth to imitate a gunshot to his heart.

Despite Steve being devastated over the situation, you were so grateful Nancy snapped him out of his King Steve persona that became so overwhelming. You had been watching your best friend disappear piece by piece, his new friends becoming your enemies with their snide rude comments that Steve didn’t really attempt to stop. So, despite Nancy Wheeler breaking Steve’s heart, you got him back and you were more than grateful for it.

“Y/N, did you just OD in there?”

By the time you realized you were missing the conversation, Steve’s body was sliding under the metal door into your stall and shaking you back to reality. You gave him a small smile, chin resting on your crossed arms as you tucked your knees into your chest. Neither of you talked about what had happened not too long ago and you were suddenly ashamed of your reaction.

“That floor’s disgusting,” You muttered as he settled closer to you. His hands were gentle as they grabbed your ankles and released your legs from their cramped position to rest over his lap, fingertips ghosting lightly over your shins. He needed to hold you, to comfort you the best way he knew how.

“Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…” He waved his hand lazily towards his destroyed uniform. “Do you wanna talk about it? Robin went to get some more water for us.”

You shrugged lightly, leg twitching as you threatened to curl back into a ball. You felt exposed, more exposed than you ever did to him and usually you didn’t mind it but it just felt weird. Steve noticed, just like he always did, and shifted to sit facing you with his legs slotted beneath yours, his feet resting on the sides of your hips. Tugging you forward gently until your thighs rested on top of his and his hands sat on your waist, Steve Harrington finally looked at you the way he had wanted to for so long.

“I love you.”

Your response was automatic, “I love you, too.”

Steve smiled but shook his head slightly as he messed with you. “Nah, c’mon, babes. You know that’s not what I mean.”

You gave him a half smile, your skin bubbling with excitement. “Stevie, I think we both know exactly what we mean.” You could feel the dynamic shift, both of you could. It was obvious enough but it didn’t feel heavy or overbearing - it just felt right.

“Oh, do we now?” The smirk on his face was smug but it disappeared into the tiniest smile when you rolled your eyes at him and finally leaned forward to close the distance, your lips settling perfectly onto his. Steve Harrington was in heaven, and he was in love. He didn’t know why it had taken this long for either of you to react and make the emotions between you known after so long but he was so glad.

His hands slipped to your lower back to pull you closer into his lap as your fingers sorted through his slightly matted hair. Taking a second to breathe, you leaned back with one hand still lingering around his neck, the other gently brushing the bruises on his face. He was just so real, so close, and somehow still always yours.

The bathroom door slamming open had you shifting your gaze to see Dustin, Erica, and Robin crowding the doorway, the biggest smile on the latter's face as she held water bottles in her hands. Steve moved slightly to see them, his hand never leaving your waist as he turned to see your friends had returned. “Oh, hey guys.”

“Okay. What the hell!”

masterlist

ask me anything

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #steve harrington #stranger things x reader #joe keery x reader #joe keery imagine #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington smut #stranger things 3 #steve harrington x henderson!reader #joe keery #joe keery one shot #stranger things reader insert #stranger things

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edoro · 2 years

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so one thing i really liked about the episode is that scene where Hunter starts crying in the basement of the shack after Luz tells him he’s family and she wants to keep him safe

it just... it means a lot. it really resonated. i think it was beautifully done and am specifically deeply enamored of some of the less ‘traditional’ comfort scene aspects of it.

(under a cut bc it got long)

Hunter is a person for whom it’s never been safe to have or openly express emotions like that. vulnerability has always been dangerous. the Emperor’s Coven was a nest of vipers, his uncle was a manipulative emotionally abusive monster, and he’s always been viewed as a spoiled child who was handed a position he didn’t earn or deserve and therefore had to work twice as hard to be taken seriously (and no one really took him seriously even then.)

it’s never been safe for Hunter to cry. crying is a weakness. crying is something that someone can use against him. “i was never afraid as the Golden Guard” -> he repressed all of his negative emotions like fear, sadness, uncertainty, unhappiness, etc so tightly that he didn’t even consciously know they were there (meanwhile it is obvious to the viewer that Hunter is both miserable and terrified pretty much 100% of the time) and didn’t have to acknowledge them and could avoid expressing them in order to survive an extremely dangerous, wildly unsafe situation in which his actual life and physical health/wellbeing were at stake

this is a pretty common reaction to a prolonged, inescapable traumatic situation, especially one where any displays of emotion are used against you. you shut down, you numb out, you learn how to turn your feelings off or bury them so deeply that you don’t even know they’re there, just so you can get through it, and often while you’re in the situation you feel like you’re Basically Fine until you’re out of it and can recognize, by contrast, how intensely miserable you were

anyway though the point is that Hunter is someone whose vulnerable emotions are very tightly repressed, and in that moment, he just completely loses control over it. he’s scared, he’s away from his abuser, he’s been slowly learning how to enjoy things and actually like his life instead of just enduring it, and for the first time in his life someone just offered him unconditional acceptance and care

it just really resonates with me! like it’s SO heartwrenching what makes it happen, how unloved and unwanted and unsafe he must have always felt before, but also... i like how quick it is.

how he tries to keep it under control. the way he looks away, how he doesn’t even blink, how he tries not to let her know he’s crying and STARTS crying very quietly until a sob slips out and he can’t help it anymore

how it’s just this quick intense burst of sobbing and then he gets it back under control, because he’s had to learn how to do that, how to quickly put the metaphorical mask back on. very relatable - when you’ve been through the kind of emotional abuse Hunter has, it’s almost involuntary to do that, to just stop yourself from crying as soon as something breaks through the layers of repression to make you actually get to that point where tears come out

Hunter is still very early in his recovery process and when you’ve spent so long so disconnected from your own fear and grief, it’s HARD to let yourself feel them, and you can only handle doing it for very short periods of time before all those subconscious defense mechanisms kick in and make you stop again

and i love the way Luz just... lets him be. Hunter doesn’t like being touched, he doesn’t like being grabbed, he clearly struggles to talk about things that affect him deeply or hurt - for him, it wouldn’t be comforting if Luz tried to hug him or talk to him about it. what she does is give him emotional and physical space, while still being there for him, and she offers him brief and easily rebuffed/escaped contact and lets him be the one to deepen it by leaning in against her - and she doesn’t really look directly at him, either, doesn’t force him to meet her eyes

she acknowledges it and comforts him without forcing some kind of discussion or confrontation on him, she lets him have space while still being present, and when it’s done she moves on without pushing or prodding or questioning him

as someone who would almost rather die than have someone see me cry and who DEFINITELY does not want to talk about it or be touched or really have it acknowledged in any way if i can help it, and who has had people in the past switch very quickly from trying to comfort me to getting mad at me when i told them what they were doing was making it worse, it just really means a lot to me to see that kind of scene?

like what Luz did was so caring and loving and comforting for him, it took his actual needs and desires into account, it means SO much to me to see that, it was such a good scene, UGH

#hunter toh #luz noceda #toh spoilers #toh spoiler #toh s3 #they mean everything to me..#hunter is SO traumatized

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llamagoddessofficial · 2 years

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For Sans in the prison au, he seems to be the most in control of his more instable characteristics. Hes just so good at hiding it, we've seen skull and red loose it before, and what that looks like, what it entails... I wonder if there would ever be a situation like that for Sans? Maybe where a slight bit of that control ever so slightly, and hints to mc that something is deeply wrong. I just wonder with how well he handles things behind the scenes, what him truly "loosing it" would look like, especially in comparison to the other boys. Huge fan of your writing by the way, you've been such an inspiration to me, you've got to be my all time favorite writer! Thank you for all that you've done for us, and us little individuals out here <3

Sans loses his cool/control around Mc all the time. She makes his Soul feel wild and unpredictable, it's as addictive for him as it is nervewracking. When she's there his emotions run fast and hot, feelings and thoughts slip past his defences before he can survey the situation and affix the appropriate face. He's a mess around her.

... The thing is, Sans is so intelligent and controlled, that him as a 'mess' is still ice cold and barely perceptible to the outside world. It's literally the most minor of things that give his feelings away. The twitch of a foot, eyelights a lumen brighter, a smile a hair's bredth wider. Mc has no idea that he chuckled a beat longer than usual at her joke because she makes him so comfortable he forgets to count his laughs... no idea that the tiny shift of his phalange on the table was him resisting the consuming urge to touch her face. No idea that he's got his chin resting on his palm instead of the back of his hand because her smile made it difficult for him to remember the correct posture he utilises to indicate he's engaged in the conversation.

A slip up big enough for Mc to feel like something was wrong would have to be something that hits him in his very core. Something that enrages him, scares him... maybe both. Bringing up Papyrus used to surprise him but he learnt to smooth that over. A mention of a boyfriend or crush from her would do the trick, staggering him... for prisoner Mc an early release from prison, or Nurse Mc getting a new job that would take her away from him. If he feels like he's losing her, his mask might fall long enough for her to glimpse the dark underneath.

Sans snapping entirely is a rare, terrifying ordeal. A sight once reserved for those he levied his 'justice' upon... now, only for those he thinks stand between him and the woman he loves.

#llamagines #prison au #basically he goes from :) to =)#if yannow what i mean

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nottapossum · 5 months

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Father knows best chapter 11: A thousand years

Summery: Blitzø overworks himself, Loona has complicated feelings, Millie drinks with Sallie Mae,And Alessio talks to Crimson.TW: Unrequited love, jealousy, drinking, fear, panic, lotsa negative emotions and talking a bit about trauma, fear of loosing someone, negative talk, biting, struggling, crying, diaper changing, talks of forced regression, talks about selling people, emotional manipation. Lmk if I should add.AndWhat's this? Someone regresses in this for good reasons!? And they are actually safe?! Whaaat?!

~~~Stolas~~~

Stolas got a phone call at 11:00 pm.

Usually he'd be skeptical about it, normally he'd ignore it, especially when it's an unknown caller. But since becoming Blitzø's caregiver he has learned that he should always be expecting the unexpected from him.

“Hello?” He answers, expecting it to be Blitzø saying that he has slipped or got into some trouble.

But surprisingly he heard a female's voice: “Stolas?”

“Loona? What’s going on?” Stolas asks. “Is everything alright?” His voice is panicky and he's already standing up and getting dressed, expecting Loona to tell him Blitzø was in trouble, or she was in trouble and needed him to come get her, or-

“Relax, birdbrain. Everything is fine…kinda.” She says.

“Hm.” Stolas scoffs. She's definitely Blitzø's daughter.

“It's just that-” She sighs. “Blitzø is so fixated on finding Moxxie, he hasn’t been eating or sleeping like he should…I’m honestly starting to…worry about him. But, I don't know what to do.” Loona panics. “He won't listen to me, and he's driving himself crazy!”

“Oh dear.” Stolas says. “That is concerning.”

“Do you think you could talk to him? I was hoping maybe he'd listen to you, you being his…caregiver and all. I tried, but he just won’t listen to me, or let me help at all!” She says, sounding more angry than anything.

“Okay, Loona. I can't promise anything but I’ll certainly do what I can.” He says to her. “Where is he?”

“He’s in his office at I.M.P.” She suddenly sounds very sad, possibly crying. “I don't know if we'll be able to find Moxxie…and I don't want to lose Blitzø in the process.”

Stolas's tone changed to mildly concerned about Blitzø, to down right frustrated with his antics. His daughter is worried sick about him, and it seems he doesn't care at all! “I will take care of it, I promise.” Stolas says, practically retracting his earlier statement about only trying. “It'll be okay.”

“Yeah…okay. Thanks.” Loona hangs up fast.

Stolas frowns…imagining if that were his own daughter…

Why didn't Blitzø just ask him for help? That idiot! He's offered to help time and time again! If he just accepted it, they wouldn't be in this mess!

Well, he's going to have to go down there and be stern with Blitzø, let him know how serious this situation was.

He opens a portal to IMP and steps through it.

~~~Stolas and Blitzø:~~~

Blitzø was hard at work when Stolas walked in through a portal to his office.

He looked as if he hadn't slept in days, just as Loona said, he looked like he was driving himself insane by the way he kept looking through everything so fast. “Blitzy?”

“Stolas? What the fuck are you doing here?” Blitzø asks.

“Just checking in, darling. What are you doing?” Stolas asks gently

“What am I- what the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” He asks. “I'm working on finding Moxxie! Is there any way to remove any scent from Imps?” Blitzø asks. “And maybe…make them invisible and unable to speak or breathe loudly?”

Stolas doesn’t answer that. “Darling, I know you want to find him, but don’t you think this can wait till morning?” He asks.

Blitzø shakes his head. “No…nonononono, I gotta find him now! Someone has him, and they’re gonna fucking pay when Millie and I get our hands on ‘um! Heads will be rolling!” He shouts. “Cash thinks he can take everything away from me? He thinks he can get in MY head and control ME again? I think fucking NOT!” He shouts.

Stolas tilts his head. Cash? Why did that name sound so familiar?

“Blitzø…when was the last time you got some sleep?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø thinks about it. “I don’t know, I passed out sometime yesterday or…what day is it?” He asks.

“It’s Thursday.” Stolas says.

“So…uhm.” Blitzø took quite a while to think about it, then he looks back down at his papers, before looking back up at the owl. “Yeah, that was yesterday. I passed out yesterday for a few hours. I think.”

“That's not good enough! You need a solid eight hours of sleep at night.” Stolas says.

“No, I need to find Moxxie.” He argues. “Sleep can suck my-”

“Blitzø!” Stolas scolds. “Language.”

“I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER FRIEND, STOLAS!” Blitzø shouts.

Stolas frowns. “Dearest-”

“I'm fine.” Blitzø says, his breathing was unsteady and tears were falling down his face.

“You're certainly not fine! You need to sleep!” He says sternly. But, then his tone changes to a calmer register once again as he takes Blitzø's hands. “I know you're worried about Moxxie, but you neglecting your own needs isn't helping anyone.” Stolas says.

Blitzø doesn't acknowledge what Stolas says, he knows Stolas is right, but he chooses to look back at his work again to ignore him.

Stolas sighs. “Blitzø…” he was about to touch Blitzø’s hand to comfort him, but the Imp hisses viciously at Stolas.

Well, he hisses more like a small cat than anything really terrifying, but Stolas still moved his hand away, afraid he might get bitten again.

“Blitzø!” He warns sharply.

Blitzø hisses and growls at Stolas again.

“Alright, enough is enough, Blitzy. We’re going home, and you’re going to get some sleep.” Stolas says firmly.

“Noooo!” Blitzø whines. “I have to figure out where Moxxie is, how else are we supposed to find him? How can I find him while I’m asleep? Stupid bird! That’s not how rescuing works!” Blitzø argues.

“Blitzø, it’s bedtime.” Stolas says firmly, picking up the imp, not caring anymore if Blitzø bites him. “You need to get some sleep.”

“Stolas! I’m not a child!” Blitzø says, grabbing onto practically anything in his office to stop Stolas. His desk, the plant, with none of that working, his best bet was the doorjamb. He grips the doorjamb tightly, not willing to let go.

“Really? Because you sure are acting like one.” Stolas scolds.

“I’m not, okay? I’ll get some sleep!” he says.

Stolas raises an eyebrow at him.

“After we find Moxxie.” He says.

Stolas sighs. “Blitzø, in your rules it specifically states that when it’s bedtime, you need to go to bed and you are not to fight me on it.” Stolas says, holding the imp with one arm to try and pry Blitzø's claws off the door.

“I am not fucking little right now!” Blitzø argues.

Stolas grunts, Blitzø is much stronger than he seems. “It still applies because you agreed to it. Besides, if you really are an adult, you should understand how important sleep is to brain activity.” Stolas wraps his arms around Blitzø's torso to get a good hold on him.

“Well, jokes on you, bitch. I don’t need brain activity!” Blitzø says, still struggling with Stolas. “I’ve been going without it for years!”

“Blitzø!” Stolas gets closer to the imps' claws and finally pries them off the door frame, then he grabs both hands in his free hand. “You’re getting some sleep, I don’t care if you’re little or not.” He says firmly.

“No!” Blitzø shouts, biting Stolas hard, making the owl release him as he yelps in pain.

“Blitzy!” Stolas scolds harshly, holding onto his wrist and wincing. How can his bites possibly hurt this much?! He's tiny!

Blitzø ran back into the office and hid under the desk.

Stolas sighs, ignoring his wrist at the moment to try again. “Blitzø…please?” he asks, crawling over to the desk to patiently wait for the Imp to come out.

Blitzø whines. “No tired, Stowes.”

Stolas raises an eyebrow. He’s slipped. “Hm. Are you quite sure I don’t have an adorable little imp on my hands?” Stolas asks him.

“No…” Blitzø mumbles.

Stolas reaches under the desk and picks up the imp with no trouble this time. “Blitzy…it’s not good to lie, darling.” Stolas says.

“Bu’ ne’ a’ fine’ Mossie.” Blitzø says sadly.

“Sorry, gremlin. But, that work is for big kids only. You’re far too little for that now.” Stolas says.

“No…”Blitzø sarts to sob, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from the day's events. “No, ‘ittle!”

“Shhh…it’s alright.” Stolas reassures. “It’s okay to be little, darling.” He says.

“Nee’ a’ fine’ Mossie.” Blitzø whines. “No ‘ittle.”

“Moxxie is a strong little Imp, he’ll be alright. But, you’ll be no help to him if you don’t let yourself get some sleep. You’ll be too tired to help him.” Stolas says. He opens a portal right to Blitzø’s nursery at Stolas's palace and walks in.

Blitzø is still crying into Stolas’s shoulder, muttering a series of ‘no’s and incoherent sentiments. “Darling, it will be okay. I promise.” Stolas says. “Just relax.”

Blitzø whines. “Mossie…”

“You’ll find him tomorrow.” Stolas says. “I’m sure of it.”

Stolas sets Blitzø on the changing table and gently starts to undress him, he had to work fast, Blitzø was already practically asleep.

“‘Omowow?” Blitzø asks, trying desperately to stay awake by blinking rapidly.

“Yes, tomorrow. When you are big again and well rested.” Stolas says, he gets out the diaper changing supplies and starts to put the diaper on him.

“I a’ putet’ Mossie doe!” Blitzø argues, kicking his hooves.

“Settle down, Blitzy.” Stolas scolds gently, taping up the diaper and grabbing one of his onesies. “I know you want to protect him, you’re a very good friend.” He places the onesie over the Imp’s head. “But, you can’t help him if you don’t help yourself first. Do you understand?” He asks as he helps guide Blitzø’s arms through the sleeves.

Blitzø whines, then starts crying again.

Stolas holds him close to comfort him, rocking him back and forth.

Blitzø cries into Stolas’s shoulder, he just wants Moxxie to be home again! He missed Moxxie, he misses his friend!

“I know, it’s okay.” Stolas says.

“Mossie…” Blitzø whines, trying to get Stolas to understand.

“I know, Blitzy. I know.” Stolas rubs circles on the little’s back to try and soothe him. “I'm sorry, darling.”

And he meant it too…

He hated that he had to do this, he knows Blitzø was struggling right now. But, he couldn't stand back and let Blitzø hurt himself.

He and Blitzø can talk about this tomorrow, and perhaps Stolas can help him find Moxxie.

His attempts to comfort Blitzø starts to work as Blitzø is settling down, but the little one’s still tearing up and sniffling softly.

Stolas starts singing to Blitzø, swaying gently side to side. “Heart beats fast, colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid…to…fall? But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow…”

Blitzø wipes away his tears, and he hugs Stolas closer.

“One…step…closer…”

Blitzø lets his eyelids fall at last, relaxing, and listening to Stolas’s song.

“I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years.”

Stolas sets the sleeping Blitzø in his crib, finally able to snap the buttons of his onesie now that the imp was calm. “I'll love you for a thousand more.”

He tucks his little one in tightly, then pets his head softly, and he whispers to him: “Goodnight, Blitzy.” Then he lastly kisses his head.

~~~Loona~~~

‘Time stands still, beauty in all she is- I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me.’

Tex: haven’t heard from you in a few days, everything okay?

Loona smiles at seeing the text… she finally had real friends to talk to, friends who cared about her… it was great but, Also sorta terrifying at the same time.

Loona: Yeah, I’m fine. I guess.

Tex: What’s going on?

Loona: One of my co-workers is missing, so I’ve been trying to help find him.

Tex: Damn. That’s rough.

Loona: Yeah, it is. Everyone is doing what they can, barely sleeping, getting up early… I think we’re almost out of ideas.

Tex: You seem to really care if you’re working overtime to find him.

Loona: I mean, I guess… Normally I hate his guts, he’s like family, except I want nothing to do with him, hate everything about him… but, I can’t stand the fact that he’s not here and might be hurt. I do kinda miss him too.

Tex: Sounds like family to me. Can you not track his scent?

Loona: No. Actually, I’ve been entirely useless in helping find him. And it’s not from a lack of trying either, I feel so worthless.

Tex: Loona, you can’t help it if there’s no scent. Trust me, it’s not your fault.

Loona: Thanks…

Tex: I’m sorry he’s missing. I can ask Bee for help, maybe she can get more people involved, it could help?

‘Every breath, every hour has come to this.’

Loona: Thanks, but, I think it would hurt him more than anything. I’d rather this stay between us.

Tex: I understand, I’m here for you if you want to talk about it more.

Loona: That would be great.

Loona held the phone close to her chest, hanging onto this moment…

Esme was right, she needed to get over him but-

How could she when he was too perfect?

‘One step closer.’

~~~Millie~~~

‘I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years.’

As upset as she was that Moxxie didn't tell her about his past, she understood why…

He wanted to protect her, and didn't want to be associated with his past. It made sense, and it didn't change anything between them. Besides, it's not like he hid something important from her. He trusted her…right?

Her and Sallie Mae were very quiet on the drive back to pride. By the time they made it back to Millie’s apartment, it was far too late to kill Blitzø. They’d have to do it tomorrow.

“Want a drink?” Millie asks Sallie.

“Like you had to ask?” Sallie Mae immediately got out of the car to join Millie inside.

The two girls sit at the table with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

“I guess I shouldn't have expected differently from our parents.” Millie says, pouring her and Sallie Mae each a glass. “I guess I just always hope that they'll change, give him a fair chance.”

“Look, Ma and Pa will never accept Moxxie. You knew this when you married him.” Sallie Mae says, drinking down the whole glass of wine.

Millie nods. “Yeah, that's true.”

“If you didn't care then, you shouldn't now. Their opinions don't mean shit.” Sallie says, pouring another glass. “I mean, they liked all your other boyfriends and look how they all turned out.”

Millie nods.

“You're right.”

“Of course I am, I'm always right. You and Moxxie are perfect for each other. He has serious attachment issues and you're an attention whore.” Sallie rolls her eyes.

Ignoring her sister now, Millie starts to think about Moxxie again…

Her beautiful, wonderful husband.

He really was the only one for her. And damn did she miss him so much!

She wanted nothing more than to run to him and kiss him again.

She hopes she can…wherever he is. She just hopes he's okay and unharmed.

‘I'll love you for a thousand more.’

~~~Past:~~~

Moxxie has always tried to make her parents like him, because he knew how much it meant to Millie that her parents approved of him.

So, when she left for a weekend to visit them, he felt it was a good time to both surprise Millie and show her parents what a good boyfriend he can truly be.

Moxxie walked up to the house holding a bouquet of beautiful hell flowers.

They were her favorites, colored orange and red.

Owen her brother had let him in and before he could ask where Millie was, he and Owen heard Jo and Lynn talking in the kitchen:

“He's not good enough for Millie, he'll never be.” Jo says.

“He is awfully frail, and not to mention how annoying he can be. He's got some serious issues.” Lynn says.

Moxxie told her about the fact that he overheard them, how he was about to leave.

“Moxxie, wait.” owen says.

“Don't tell Millie I was here. They're right, she-she deserves so much better.” Moxxie said to him.

Millie wasn't sure why Owen did it, but he marched up to Millie right after. “Hey, Mills? Your boyfriend is outside for you. You may want to hurry before ma and pa scare him off.”

Millie ran out there to catch up. “Moxxie!” She hugged him and kissed him firmly. “What are you doing here?” She asks.

“I-well- I was just going to give you these.” He said holding up the flowers.

She takes them, letting him go. “Oh, Mox. They're lovely.” She says. “You came all this way to give me flowers?” She asks.

“Yeah…I thought I'd surprise you.” He says.

“I appreciate that. And I needed it. My parents have been driving me crazy. Ever since they met you, you're all they ever talk about.” She scoffs. “Why can't they just accept the fact that I'm a grown woman who's capable of making her own decisions?” She asks.

Moxxie shrugs. “Parents are complicated.”

“I love you.” She says. “That's all that matters.”

Moxxie smiles. “Really?”

“Really.” She says, kissing him again, this time it lasted longer.

They made out for about a minute before Moxxie pulled her away gently.

“Moxxie?” She asks, confused. “What's wrong?”

“Let's get married.” Moxxie says.

“What?”

“Forget our families, forget all of them! We'll create our own. Just you and me.” He says. “We can get on that elevator and have the best wedding imaginable. Just us.” He says.

“But-” She thought about it…her parents would never accept Moxxie. Even if they asked, would they even come to a wedding?

They practically forbid her to pursue this… but they don't get to dictate her life!

Millie smiles and takes his hand. “Let's go.” She says.

~~Present:~~~

No one could ever be as good for Millie as Moxxie was…

Because she knew, no matter what happens…

They were gonna be okay.

No matter what has ever happened to them before, they have been.

Moxxie loves her and she loves Moxxie and that's all that has ever mattered.

She put the glass down. “We'd better get some sleep. The sooner we do, the sooner we'll find Moxxie.” She says to Sallie.

‘And all along I believed I would find you!

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years.’

She will do anything to make sure he's home and safe once again.

‘I'll love you for a thousand more!’

~~~Alessio:~~~

‘One step closer…’

“Sir, don't you think you were a bit harsh on Moxxie?” Alessio asks.

“He has to learn somehow!” Crimson says. “What else would you want me to do? I can't coddle him!”

‘He never could.’ Alessio thought. “What if you let me talk to him? Perhaps I could get him to see reason?” Alessio suggests.

“You want to try? Be my fucking guest!” Crimson says.

Alessio kisses Crimson's cheek. “Thank you, Crimson.”

Crimson blushes slightly, but brushes him off.

Alessio smirks to himself as he walks upstairs to the nursery. He loves to get Crimson all flustered.

~~~Alessio & Moxxie ~~~

‘I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more’

Alessio knocks before entering the dark nursery. The room was destroyed, clearly Moxxie was trying to find a way to get out…or he was legitimately losing his mind. “Moxxie?”

Moxxie was curled up in a corner. No no no! Not this again!

Alessio turned on the light as he walked in, closing the door behind him.

Moxxie couldn't even process what he was doing, he just lunged at Alessio, jumping on his back and biting and scratching him! He had enough of this! And he was going to do whatever he could to get out!

Alessio grunted in pain before hitting Moxxie against a wall, knocking the wind out of him. Moxxie fell to the floor and tried his hardest to breathe again.

Alessio sighs, he hates to hurt Moxxie, but he did what he had to… “Moxxie?”

“Hate…you.” Moxxie forced out while he was trying to regain his breath.

“Now, I know that's not true.” Alessio says, petting Moxxie’s hair. “Just relax. We only want to take care of you.”

Moxxie finally is able to breathe, he takes a few deep breaths before responding: “I don't need you to take care of me!” Moxxie growled. “I need you to leave me and every other little one alone!” He says. “Nothing you can do will ever change what you've done to me, what you've done to them! What you're doing is wrong, and I think you know that.” Moxxie says.

“If we let the other littles go, would you stay?” Alessio asks him.

“What?” Moxxie asks, becoming fearful.

“If we let the little ones go, and never sell another one. Would you willingly stay our little one permanently?” Alessio asks again.

Moxxie's eyes widened. “I…um.”

“It's a simple question, Moxxie.” Alessio says.

“I- would he actually do that?” Moxxie asks. “Would he let them go if I-” he can't finish the sentence, it was too terrible to think about.

“Possibly, especially if I asked him to.” Alessio says.

Moxxie thinks, if he can save the others- it might be worth it… besides, Blitzø and Millie could still save him…if they haven't given up already. “Can I think about it?” Moxxie asks.

Alessio nods. “Very well, you can decide tomorrow.” Alessio says, heading to the door.

“Can you leave the light on…please?” Moxxie asks, interrupting him.

“I'll do you one better.” Alessio says, he goes over to the dresser and pulls out a night light to plug in. He also sets the crib back on it's feet before he walks back over to Moxxie and Kisses his forehead. “Goodnight, bambino.” He says before leaving and locking the door behind him.

Moxxie exhales. “Thanks…”

Tears fall down Moxxie’s face… where were they?

Taglist: @todayimfour

#itty bitty imps #helluva boss age regression #little!blitzo #helluva boss agere #father knows best

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zorabettwo · 10 months

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okay so I have watched 2x06 uh.........way too many times and obviously Shauna, Sophie Nelisse, everything there is overwhelming. but i am fixated on how it impacts the other girls and especially Misty.

The core truth we know about Misty is that she seeks power and control and she often does this through controlling someone else's suffering. Stopping it in some cases, causing it, or just managing it. We see this with the rat in the pilot, we see it in the nursing home, it underscores so much of her character. If she can control suffering, she has power - to hurt, but also to save and to be loved.

At the start of the birth scene, she's killed Krystal/Kristen without really meaning to (imo and the actors' anyway) and is shaken up. We don't often see her shaken up, but she lost control there. She caused suffering she didn't mean to AND she hurt herself in the process. So she's coming into it shaken, and then it's a situation she doesn't feel prepared for.

It's not like Misty is exactly prepared to cut off a leg or any of that other stuff, but Misty is PROACTIVE, she does before thinking and has enough knowledge to make that okay. But birth is the long game, and she has no history with it, and the pressure is on there. No one really expects much of Misty in her life - but here, they are counting on her, everyone is counting on her to do the right thing. There is enough trust in her here that she broke the emergency transmitter over it.

When she comes back to the room, it's because Lottie says she can save their baby. She can do something the whole group wants, needs, and be seen as a hero, and she jumps into that mode. I fully believe she did EVERYTHING she could, wanted the baby to be okay desperately, not for Shauna or the baby but because it made her matter.

And then....she can't. She fails at it. It's not that she hasn't failed before, but it's bigger to her. It's her spot in the group and her power and one of the times she is desperate to end suffering, she doesn't want it to happen.

So I do believe some of what she says to Coach when she's trying not to get him to jump. Not the threats, or the words themselves, but the "I can't have another death on my hands"? Absolutely. She can't have that on her hands, or on her reputation. I think there is some genuine emotion there behind the failure, just the rawness of it, but it's also about her status and what she feels slipping away.

All this to say that I think, of everything that happens out there, this is maybe one of the most scarring things for Misty (and everyone, but that is for another post). It's a forever mark against her, a time she failed and lost a chance. And I think she's vowed from there that she is never going to be caught unprepared again.

The moral is that if someone needed an emergency c-section on site adult Misty could do it.

#yellowjackets #misty quigley

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zalrb · 1 year

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Anonymous asked:

What’s your read on Logan and Kendall’s relationship? I go back and forth about Logan’s intentions and sincerity with all his kids. He blackmails shiv and Kendall in season 1, but they also seem to be the 2 that get him to be the most emotional? He obviously loves them but yah his relationship with Kendall the first two seasons was all over the place lol

It's funny because I read this and I was like aw, poor Roman, he's not even mentioned! And then I was like ... wow, I totally forgot about Connor. And I just did a rewatch.

Something I found interesting is when Logan is "piss mad" and Kendall is yelling

he's genuinely upset that Kendall is upset

and in fact wants to yell at whoever made "Frank" upset because only he can be nasty "Frank"

and that, I think, epitomizes Logan's relationship to all of his children (less so Connor but that's because Connor isn't trying to be a successor) but especially Kendall. He can be nasty to Kendall but no one else -- including Kendall and it usually is Kendall -- can be nasty to Kendall so for instance,

In season 1, he can plant stories about Kendall and tear him down

but he also wants to make sure that Kendall isn't tearing himself down

In season 2 ... first, I want to say, we don't actually know what happened, but Logan blames himself for whatever happened to his sister

so I actually think that when the waiter died and Kendall felt that tremendous guilt, Logan understood what that felt like and had as much empathy as someone like him could feel about the situation because of it

I also think Logan doesn't know how to love without control. So, when Kendall was basically Pod Ken and did everything Logan said no question, knew his role, was a good little soldier, effectively paid him fealty

he was more overt with his affection and his favour

(this framing is also important because it also shows that he has Kendall trapped)

and defends him from the others

but the minute Kendall starts pushing back or does something Logan considers out of line, even if it's a slip of the tongue, even if Kendall doesn't mean to be insulting, Logan is going to tear him down to build him back up. So, with the whole Rhea situation, Kendall deigns to ask Logan if he knows what he's doing

and Logan takes offence to that and counters with making Kendall go to the waiter's house with him to see his parents

tearing him down while simultaneously reminding him that they're "in this together"

making him interact with the parents, and then attempting to alleviate him of his guilt because he doesn't want Kendall tearing himself down

and then in the next episode, while he messes around with Rhea a bit, he backs off (which is definitely also because of her)

and he also stops seeing Jennifer after convincing her to leave the play because Logan doesn't approve.

At the same time, Logan doesn't respect a Kendall who is under his thumb, he respects a Kendall who fights to take over the company

like even when he fucks with Kendall’s head by giving him the option of a buy out on his birthday

when Kendall actually wants to take it and disappear Logan says no

but Logan can't handle any of his children actually succeeding him, he wouldn’t be able to handle Kendall actually winning and he takes it out on the waiter

(much like how he takes out his anger at Shiv on Roman)

He gets angry when one of them fixes a problem, like with Shiv, he gets angry when she stops the vote by giving away a board seat

and it’s the same reaction he had to when Kendall solved the debt problem

and Kendall is the one who sees and understands these kinds of contradictions within Logan

so yeah, their relationship is all over the place because Logan is a narcissist and it’s full of contradictions.

#succession #kendall roy #logan roy #shiv roy #roman roy #connor roy

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ereneda · 1 year

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𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘

ONE. At a young age, on visits to Dathomir with her mother, Tenel Ka learned how to plait her hair into traditional Dathomirian warrior braids and it became a morning ritual for her from then on. Thanks to Anakin Solo, who taught her a braiding technique after her sparring accident with Jacen, she perfected braiding her hair every morning with one hand and still did even into her reign as Queen Mother.

TWO. Tenel Ka can and will make anything a weapon if there is an urgent need. Because of what seemed like everyday assassination attempts and the fact that she had always relied on her own skills first over others, there were a number of times she dispatched assassins before guards even got near them. Once at the Marauder's Masquerade she choked an assailant with the train of her gown and on another occasion she broke one of her grandmother's prized vases and used a shard of the crystal to defend herself. A few of the many other items-turned-deadly over the years: a gaudy tiara, a holoremote, and a seashell.

THREE. She's grown quite skilled at building her own Dathomirian armor, with five sets of it that she's created herself from her teenage years to the present. Every new set has a piece of her mother's old armor included or woven into it somehow.

FOUR. Her hearing skills have been heightened over the years due to her less-than-average night vision thanks to her Hapan blood. Besides useless applications like hearing the quiet hum of holoprojectors accidentally left on in a chamber nearby, Tenel Ka often used this growing natural aptitude to learn the specific footfalls of people she wanted to avoid and slipped away before they were close enough to see her (and usually annoy her to some degree).

FIVE. Extremely adept at climbing. It was something she excelled at as a student at the Jedi Academy and something she only pushed herself to develop more when she lost her arm. Training and honing the skill didn't stop when she was crowned, she still practiced multiple times a standard week and was once able to scale the cliffside next to the Castle of Per'Agthra, much to the dismay of her grandmother.

SIX. Tenel Ka had never been an openly emotional person, but she learned to use emotions—which oftentimes was an act—to get the upper hand in political situations or meetings with some of the hopeful consorts. She hid her own actual feelings well, having to focus on the task somewhat after her years in the academy, and still wears a figurative mask most of the time as the Queen Mother. When an emotion actually manages to break through her wall it's due to the fact that it's finally taking such a toll on her body that she has to release it somehow (e.g., Her quick outburst in the elevator with Han and Leia, or when she felt Jacen's death).

SEVEN. Manipulation was something that never really crossed her mind as a teenager, her focus more on physical abilities than mental, but after taking the Hapan throne she quickly learned it was a skill she would need to master. Mentally filing away information about each and every suitor in the gaggle, Tenel Ka used what she knew about each one to belaud them when needed and then exploit them in ways she required. When she was pregnant with Allana, she knew every single one of them would claim to be the girl's father. And because of her controlling each and every part of the situation, each one of them assumed all the others had slept with the Queen Mother and said they did the same to save face within the group. She had only ever slept with Jacen Solo. None of them deserved her.

EIGHT. Can hold her breath for almost five minutes. Her constant training over the years has honed her body into a physical machine and with frequent visits to Reef Fortress—one of the only places where her guards will leave her alone for a bit—she has especially focused on swimming and breathwork. There were articles all over the holonet that would describe her hair as a flame, or her attitude as fiery, but her element was water and she felt at home in it.

NINE. Has an oddly specific photographic memory for certain things. It was something she really took note of and used to her advantage after the war with the Yuuzhan Vong. She can remember the order of guest seating for multiple banquets (for important reasons—it could assist in security issues faster than the security wing sometimes) but she could also recall every single holotabloid that had ever reported lies about her and every which way they spelled or used her name wrong (for mild amusement). She could forgive, but she would never forget.

tagged by: @visionhaunted (ty! :3) tagging: @abloodlineunraveled (for either or both!), @jedilegacied, @1000voicesrising (any or all of your bbs XD)

#possibly {headcanon}#playfully {memes}#fiercely {tenel ka djo}

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abrushwithdeath · 1 year

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@lediableblanc-amoureuxdechats

“ hey, lookit me… you can do dis. okay? ya can. “

She’d been trying. It’s what Rogue had told him from the start- that she was gonna get it together, that she wanted to. For him. For them. For herself. And it had been working, to some degree. She could better manage how much she took from others and how quickly (or slowly) she drained them. But it wasn’t enough, yet. She couldn’t shut it off entirely, and when her emotions ran high, especially when she felt stressed or upset, it was like stepping right back to square one. It was hard to be optimistic when the results, even after all this time, were so seemingly negligible.

Yet Remy didn’t seem to see it that way. Leave him to be the sunshine to her raincloud. She sometimes thought that he understood her situation better than he let on, and for that reason, maybe she should have more faith in him (and, in some ways, herself). He wasn’t saying these things just to make her feel better- he believed it. It made her want to believe it, too.

Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him like he’d told her to. Not for more than a moment, anyway. A single, stolen, glance up before she was looking back down at the gloves clutched in her hand. Oh, she wanted to trust him. Desperately so. Because Remy had a way of making the impossible seem possible. Maybe he was right, though. Maybe it was all gonna be fine and she’d have it figured out soon enough. Progress, even if it felt small and insignificant to her, was still progress. Right?

Then her eyes moved from her own bare hands to see one of his outstretched towards her, and the fear took hold all over again.

Rogue reeled back, two steps further from him, her hands gripping the gloves tighter, pressing them to her chest. He hadn’t tried to touch her, hadn’t even come close enough for it. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if that’s what he’d been offering or if it was all a misunderstanding on her part. Either way, it set her heart racing just as fast as her head.

“I can’t,” A reply intended for both his words and the offered hand. Yet she didn’t put her gloves back on yet, instead still clutching them to herself in a manner that, in hindsight, probably looked borderline adolescent. A child seeking comfort in their favorite toy, or their baby blanket. But for her, it was a pair of worn out, deep brown, leather gloves. There was little more than a breath between her words and the moment she finally, actually, looked up at him. In realization at what she’d done, she felt a twinge of guilt. Pulling away so abruptly hadn’t been intentional, but he was close, so close, and that had set her skin aflame. Yes, they had been closer than that before, but she’d felt more controlled then, like she was leading the situation. This... something about it had come as a surprise.

“Sugah, I want to,” She assured him, pausing another second before finally taking a hesitant step forward. A considerable gap remained, but at least it had been bridged in some small part. “But I dunno if I... no. I know I can’t. Not now. Maybe not ever,” It was a conversation they’d had a hundred times before, begun anew now. The same one she defaulted to when she was getting nervous, when she was starting to question this. Starting to question them. “Look, I appreciate what yer doin’. An’ if things were different-” She was tumbling back down that rabbit hole, and as she watched Remy’s face, let her eyes meet his... she could feel it. All those thoughts piling up over something as small as a moment of fear at the end of a long, tiring, day: Maybe we shouldn’t do this. What if I never get this under control? I can’t be what you need me to be. This isn’t gonna work.

This was the part she needed to push herself past, but it felt impossible in the moment. A sort of self punishment for having thought, for even a fraction of a second, about slipping her hand into his. No barriers. “I’m sorry,” She finally muttered, quickly slipping her gloves back on. Even now, though, she didn’t yet reach out for him like she’d wanted to do. Instead, she ran her fingers through her hair, tousled the long, auburn, waves back away from her face, and took a breath, “I’m jus’ tired,” A throw away excuse. One Remy knew better than to take at face value. Though it wasn’t entirely false- she really was tired. And the thought of pressing up against him, getting all warm and cozy... It soothed her for a moment... until she felt the spiders of anxiety crawling up her spine once again. The closer they were, the more comfortable she felt, the more dangerous this all was. It left space for mistakes. Opportunities for her to slip up and touch him. The scariest thought was that there might come a point that it wasn’t an accident, but a selfish act of contact spurred on by the relentless need to feel closer. Would he hate her, then? (Did he hate her in some way now?)

Disappointment settled in her bones and she realized she maybe hadn’t changed as much as she would have liked. The fault for that, she knew, rested with herself. She felt like she was at a stand still and she couldn’t muster the energy to move another step forward. She wanted to have control of her powers. She wanted to be more open with Remy. She wanted to trust him. To trust herself. A failure on all fronts, it seemed. Because she still couldn’t stop herself from leeching from others when she touched them. She couldn’t admit to Remy that she was still fucking terrified of all of this, of him in some ways. She couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t even consider it without fear. And there was still a part of her that insisted she would do best to walk away from this all before she could disappoint him any further, before he could break her heart for it. Nothing... nothing had changed. Stagnation had settled in, or so it felt, and she hated to admit that, in part, she preferred it that way. Familiarity, even in the worst sense, could sometimes feel less horrifying than the unknown awaiting her on the other side.

She sighed, closed her eyes for a second, then shook her head, “I should get t’bed. Gotta be up early an’ all,” She didn’t have to be up early, she just knew she would be. An early morning run, chasing the sunrise to clear her mind. An hour or two alone with dewy grass and golden sunlight spilling through the branches of trees... Funny enough, she sometimes woke up with the small hope that Remy would come with her. Someone to share in the ritual with. Someone to spill her thoughts to. Maybe she could even, finally, get him to spill some of his own? It was a hope she had no intention of vocalizing, though.

“You should get some sleep, too. Ya got bags under yer eyes. Lookin’ like a walkin’, talkin’, zombie,” She teased him, trying to soften out the conversation with a bit of playful banter. Now, with her gloves back on, she was feeling just slightly more at ease, reaching out to poke him in the center of the forehead, right between his eyebrows. “Somehow, though, yer still handsome as the devil, Remy LeBeau,” She smirked, finally taking a couple steps closer, until she was close enough to rest her hand against his chest. A shift from the fear a few moments prior, because now she was back in control. “Don’t ya know it’s practically a sin t’be wastin’ all those good looks cooped up with a girl like me?” Again, the words were playful, but there was an undeniable bit of truth to it- really, in her head, a guy like him was wasting his time with a girl like her. And yet, as much as she wanted to let him go, there was an equally loud part of her that wanted him so badly to stay.

Her tone softened, and her hand moved to his cheek. There was something more she wanted to say. Something sincere and sweet. But she left those words unspoken at the edge of her lips, exchanged them instead for a quiet, “G’night.” A chance to slip away from him before the conversation could turn serious. An exit strategy she maybe used a little too often.

#lediableblanc amoureuxdechats #v; ''I cannot hide myself from you. I cannot hide my heart from my heart.'' // lediableblanc amoureuxdechats

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lemonluvgirl · 2 years

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Ch 32: Scars & Ghosts

Promise Me, Little Brother

Small Excerpt:

But for the first time all day I find a small semblance of peace in the grueling repetitive tasks, the punishing heat, and most importantly, the mind numbing quiet.

That is until Prim comes back outside and says she needs my help with something inside.

When I see what—no, not what, but who— is waiting for me inside the house I feel the tentative grasp I was regaining on my swirling emotions begin to slip away from me completely.

First there’s the sting of surprise. Surprise at Peeta’s unexpected presence in a moment where I feel off balance. Then there’s embarrassment as I look down at my attire and feel mortification surge through me.

I feel like every unavoidable, ugly part of me is on display, and not just my outward imperfections, but my reactions to them and their exposure.

It’s the vulnerability that cuts deep and twists me in too many directions at once.

Years before, when I finally became a good enough hunter to put enough food on the table so that everyone in my family was eating on a regular basis, my body finally went through a latent growth spurt. With that growth spurt came changes to my body that the people around me took note of. Slight curves that signified an end to my childhood and the beginning of a womanhood I quietly resented. The teasing and suggestive comments of my classmates, especially the male ones, were embarrassing at first, but easy to ignore after delivering a well placed glare or two.

Even if I was slightly better fed than most from the Seam, I was ultimately ordinary and nothing special. The taunts eventually dwindled when they got little to no reaction, and I moved past the uncomfortable self consciousness that that phase of my life brought with it.

But this is different.

I can’t find it in me to ignore this moment, to brush past it.

I can’t disregard the way Peeta’s eyes skim over and catch slightly on the raised, and puckered pieces of flesh that tell the story of my Games. His gaze isn’t even one tenth as obtrusive as some of the mocking leers or disgusted stares I’ve received in the past year.

Not that I’d expect Peeta to ever look at anyone like that, but I don’t think I could bear to see the opposite reaction. To see his kind blue eyes turn sympathetic with pity for me. For my ruined skin and body.

I don’t want him to look at me that way, ever, and that thought sends a roll of confusion and terror through me that spurs me to make a hasty escape from the entire situation.

I run out of the room like I’m being chased by old ghosts, which in a way, maybe I am.

In my embarrassment I search for something or someone to condemn for making me feel this way. A sweet smiling face pops into my mind, and its angelic blamelessness stirs up something close to fury.

I can’t believe Prim! I think to myself as I tear up the stairs. I slam the door shut to my room and turn the lock for good measure.

I stand in the middle of the room for a full minute, trying to get myself under control. I feel so angry I’m liable to break something right now.

How could she be so naive? She knows I hate these scars. She knows I always cover myself up with long sleeves and pants every time I leave the house. Even before the scars, I wasn’t very comfortable being in shorts or an undershirt around anyone but her, Mom, or the Hawthornes. That was mostly a necessity in the hot summer months when Gale and I had to battle against the heat and there was no recourse but for he and I to get comfortable being around each other in less stifling clothing. Nothing indecent, just cut off pants or threadbare sleeveless old shirts worn thin and rendered light enough to help with the heat. It was strictly business, and after the hunt we’d drop off the game we were keeping at our homes, where his family would usually see me sweaty and covered in filth and grime from trekking through the forest for half a day. I never minded little Posey, Vic, or even Rory seeing me in such a state. They were pretty much like family anyways.

But all that was before the Hunger Games, before the showdown at the Cornucopia that left Cato and Lev both dead and me a badly reconstructed approximation of my former self.

I walk into the bathroom to get an accurate assessment of the actual damage.

What greets me in the mirror makes me cringe first, then embarrassment and anger flare up anew inside me.

I’m a sad excuse for a plain, scrawny Seam girl who wasn’t much to look at even before the mutts got to her. Someone should probably give Peeta Mellark a medal for his ability to keep the look of disgust off his face at seeing what’s really hiding under all the cleverly designed clothes Cinna custom makes me.

Just when I’m a couple seconds away from tossing a heavy silver backed hairbrush at the mirror, I hear a loud knocking at the door followed by my sister’s voice, commanding me to “Open up, Katniss!”.

I growl under my breath and rotate through a few expletives quietly before walking back to the door and standing in front of it.

“Not going to happen,” I reply loud enough for her to hear when she raps on the door again, louder and more insistent this time.

“Katniss, stop being ridiculous. You aren’t actually embarrassed that Peeta saw you in shorts are you?” she asks in an exasperated voice, like she has the right to be fed up with something I’ve done instead of the other way around.

“Don’t talk to me about being ridiculous!” I shout at her through the door, fully steamed now. “You don’t have to live with these scars Prim!” I enunciate the last sentence loud and clear, my voice raised in volume and anger as I stare daggers at the door.

I wait for her reply, for her to shout back at me.

We rarely, if ever get into spats, but every now and then, if I’m being just self-centered and wounded enough and she’s going through one of her new teenage phases, we have a spectacularly terrific row.

I listen for her voice, ready for her snappy comeback, but no reply ever comes.

And after several minutes of silence where I suspect that I’ve finally gone too far, and I’ve hurt the only relationship it would kill me to destroy I fling open the door wide, an apology on my lips and tears springing in my eyes.

But instead of my sister’s soft blue stare, I’m greeted by Peeta’s intensely blue one.

I spring back in surprise and shock, wondering where Prim got to and how much of our argument he heard.

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” I hiss at him accusingly.

Peeta’s eyes go wide and he puts his hands up in surrender. He shakes his head.

“I was waiting downstairs when Prim came back down. She rushed out saying she was going to watch the Games with Rory, Vic, and Posey?” His answer sounds like a question coming out.

At his admission I deflate. I close my eyes and realize I’ve really hurt her feelings. She’s always been so careful to treat me as if the physical changes I brought home from my Games didn’t matter. She never once looked at me with pity, or disgust. Not that Prim would, she’s my mother’s daughter and both of them can look at the worst, most disgusting festering wounds without batting an eye. That, and she’s one of the most kind and compassionate people I know. But deep down I think I’ve always known she blames herself for my scars. And my last comment to her threw that in her face.

Because I took her place and came back damaged.

She has to know that I wasn’t blaming her, not really. I was just angry. I don’t know if she really doesn’t see the difference between the way I used to look before and what I have to accept as my reality now, or if she’s just gotten so used to seeing me every day that she forgets I’m disfigured. But I know she would never shame me on purpose. Not in a million years. And yet that’s how I treated her. As if I thought she’d done it purposefully, to hurt me.

I sigh quietly. And then I look back up at Peeta and cross my hands over my arms again, trying to hide the worst of it from him.

But surprisingly, he is only looking at my face.

“Katniss, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he says, and of course it's the wrong thing to say and my hackles go right back up.

“I need to change,” I tell him stiffly, looking at the door behind him in a clear indication I want him to leave.

“You need to stop assuming the worst,” he states plainly and my head snaps back to his face, astonished at his firm tone.

“This is none of your business!”

“If it’s causing arguments between you and Prim then maybe we should clear it up-”

“Why are you even here?!” I yell, beyond furious at him for butting in.

“You asked for cheese buns, remember?” he says calmly, much more calmly than I’d expect him to react if he’d been Gale. We’d be in a full blown shouting match already.

“You can leave the box on the table on your way out-”

“You really are bad at this whole ‘friends’ thing aren’t you?”

I grit my teeth to keep from cursing at him.

“I really don’t have time for this-”

I’m cut off again, not by his words, but by the totally unexpected way he yanks his shirt off without so much as a warning.

I’m stuck, mouth open staring at his naked chest, about to demand he get out of my room when he turns around and uses his left hand to reach behind his back and point to a spot on the middle of his back, where a nasty jagged scar runs across to his lower ribs.

“She got me with the rim of a tin can lid she found under my bed after my brothers snuck some canned peas up to me when I’d been on punishment and hadn’t been allowed to have dinner every night for a week,” he explains softly.

I remain silent, not knowing what on earth to say to this. I’m just glad he’s facing away from me right now and can’t see my expression.

His hand dips lower, to a spot just on the top of his hip where there’s a thin white raised splotch that trickles down in what looks almost like a melted wax pattern but I know must be a burn scar.

“I complained once about how the oven mitts were getting too threadbare and I was burning my fingers when I had to take out the trays. I didn’t know she was close by and could hear. She took it upon herself to make sure I knew the true difference between burning my fingers superficially, and what a real burn feels like.”

I try to stifle the horrified sound I make in the back of my throat.

Then he turns around and faces me.

He points to a circular cluster of small scars beneath his left pectoral, that I hadn’t seen until he lifted his arm because of the way his light blond, and slightly curly chest hair obscured them.

“She used the apple corer tool here, so I’d remember to be quicker about preparing them for the pies in the fall season.”

And suddenly I’m looking everywhere, unable to keep my eyes from roaming his strong frame, seeking out the evidence that’s been carved into his skin. His skin is paler underneath his shirt, compared to his neck and forearms and his scars are very white. They almost fade into the background, but once I start recognizing them it’s impossible to catalog them all.

There’s many on the inside of his forearms that stand out; some jagged, some straight, some round and splotchy. Many could be written off from growing up working in a bakery kitchen, but now I know for a fact that many of them aren’t accidents.

He has a few more on his hands and fingers. He has another burn mark on the inside of his elbow, in the shape of one side of a pair of tongs that must have been deliberate. There’s another one hidden underneath the shadow of his strong jaw. He points to a long thin scar behind his ear that he says was from a pair of scissors, after she cut up some of his sketches because he was apparently wasting too much time doodling. That one, being behind his ear, is very well camouflaged by his hair, and I doubt I would have ever noticed if he hadn’t pointed it out.

I look up to where there would be another one, right above his eye, going into his hairline if it weren’t for the medicine Haymitch sent from the Capitol that healed him completely.

My mouth goes dry. There’s so many things I feel in this one moment.

Read the entire chapter on AO3.

#PMLB #lemonluvwrites #thg #fanfiction #CANON DIVERGENCE #everlark #SoloVictor!Katniss

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neptunianashes · 6 months

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Never cry and especially never burst out of anger when a cheater confesses her doing or when you go to confront her about her betrayal. Be always stoic and calm even if inside you your heart is bursting with excruciating pain and you feel you are about to faint, remain strong and don't show her any emotions. You can cry if the pain is too much to endure but never burst out in anger, anger is the best reassurance a women can have that you still care and she will immediately be at her playground to take control and get away with the situation. If you show her that you are angry, you will enter her field and she will realize she can control you and start pushing for forgiveness, deflecting back to you or denying everything to the last. If it was a really really really long relationship or marriage and they say how so many good years are worth less than a one time slip up, then tell them that you were not the one that decided to end the relationship, they were the one choosing to end it the moment they cheated no matter if it was a one time slip up over a 30 year period, they were the ones responsible for this and not you, don't let them gaslight you. She may also want to trickle truth to minimize things if you don't know everything, they are that evil just to get away with it. No matter how crazy she gets remain stoic, go out to take fresh air and think things clearly alone to break away from the cloud in your mind wanting to burst and explode. You will have time to grieve, you will have time to cry, you will have time to scream alone, but never do it in front of her. Remain strong to make her accountable for her actions and focus on her behavior and not emotions, do not enter her playfield, you will lose against her in the emotions field, she will become desperate like no tomorrow to get away with it. She has made her choice and once the trust is broken there is nothing fixing that. Do not go to couple and marriage counseling, they only care about your money and will try to fix the relationship, they do not care about anything else other than not losing their sessions that keep the money flowing. She chose to not respect you, you shouldn't feel sorry for her at all. You will grieve the relationship but you will never see her again like it use to be no matter how many things she will offer, it is done and over the moment she cheated. It's never a mistake, and being drunk it's also not an excuse. She either does not know how to have self control with her emotions, does not how to say no, or planned for a long time very careful how to hide it, it is always a conscious act they chose to do. Lack of attention is also not a reason to cheat, they want to keep the cheating going as long as they can, to keep the benefits of their main partner while satiating their lust or attention needs elsewhere. They do not deserve pity. Once a cheater always a cheat, as soon as they have the opportunity they will cheat. They always wanted to cheat, they were just looking an excuse and reason to do so. If u are not a cheater u will never cheat in your entire life, if u are a cheat you will cheat. The past of a person is very important to know how they will act in their future, the family and friends of a person are also very important to know how a person will be influenced by their inner circle in the future and how their past friend group influenced her. The past of her relationships and she was into FBW and things like that. You can avoid a lot of cheaters and heartaches just by knowing how to read their past. No self control emotional red flags are easy to spot early on if you learn how to read them. Even if u are the best she can get even if she is fully satisfied sexually and emotionally and financially with u, she will still cheat on u because lust is a way stronger feeling than love, it's wrong and short and secret and women are tempted with that like the devil. She needs to gain your trust before you commit to her, they have more to lose at first, but u have more to lose after you commit. Learn how to pick the correct women beforehand.

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ask-little-red-riding-luz · 1 year

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Red Riding Luz Chapter 4: A Failed Hunt

Amity swallowed hard as she approached the entrance to her den. She opened the basket for a moment and double checked what she had. She’d spenta bit of extra time getting home to catch a squirrel, two rabbits, and a mole but she hadn’t gotten anything too substantial. Then again, that was the point, wasn’t it? She wasn’t ready to take down things like deer on her own. She wasn’t strong or practiced enough. She could have proven otherwise but…

Amity shut her eyes tight before settling herself and trying not to show much of anything as she slipped into the cave. Her mother expected a successful hunter to come home and even if it were a lie, she could at least act like one. Cold, calculating, unflappable. In total control of her situation when she needed to be.

It was too bad that her ears refused to stop folding against her head then. She could at least pretend then, especially as she smelled the scent of a deer from further within. Her mom had been successful so it was okay that she was simply bringing what could be considered treats home.

She ran one hand along the wall to feel for when the stone broke despite the fact that she could probably find the proper entrance to her home with her eyes closed. For most, you might as well have to with how the cave wall appeared to be entirely solid but if you knew what to look for, you could find where it split into a small passageway that you could disappear into. That, plus the thick foliage that made the entrance to their cave hard to find in general, made their den almost impossible to find.

Amity dipped her head into the main room of their den for a moment and scanned the room for her parents. She didn’t immediately see either, though she hadn’t expected to see her dad, not unless he’d been eating. Her eyes did pause on the corpse of a deer in the middle of the cave and her stomach growled at her. She hadn’t eaten since the morning, too embarrassed to take from the basket before now because she wanted to make sure it looked as good as possible. If her mom wasn’t here though, she didn’t want to take more than she might be allowed to after her failure.

“You’ve been gone for a while, Amity.”

Amity paled as she turned to her side and saw her mother sitting next to the entrance. The older wolf’s yellow eyes glowed in the darkness before she stayed on all fours and whispered, “How did it go?”

Amity took in a slow breath as she reminded herself of the story she’d been practicing on the way home. The one that seemed the most plausible, even if it didn’t make her look the best. “I’m sorry, mother, but I failed. I messed up my pounce and only got her shoulder. She then used her basket to slow me long enough to scream for help and run back towards the village. I know I could have caught up but I was still close enough to their homes that I was worried about how quickly a hunter may come and join her.”

“The village only has one, at least of any sort of quality that you should be afraid of.”

Amity looked away before saying, “Yes. I apologize, mother. I promise that next ti-”

“On your back.”

Amity couldn’t help but let out a whimper before she did as she was told. She still tried to mostly be strong for her mother but it was hard to be when she felt so stupid and had for the entire day. After all, she should have had her. Should have been able to get the kill. She had had a perfect hiding spot after all and could have just lunged from there. But no, she let her emotions get the better of her.

A shiver ran through Amity’s body as her mother placed one of her claws on her neck and pressed down. For a moment, it got harder for her to breathe before it suddenly became as easy as usual. In fact, her mom’s paws then cupped her cheeks as she said, “You made the right call. Your safety is more important than success. Always.”

Amity blinked a few times before she had to blink much faster to fight back the tears that threatened to come. “Y-You’re not mad.”

Odalia shook her head as she moved one hand to run it through her daughter’s hair. “Mad? No. Disappointed because I know you can do better, but I’m not mad.” She then let out a small growl as she let go of her daughter. “We musn’t dwell on it anyways. The question now is what to do next.”

Amity shut her eyes tight for a second before jumping to her feet. “I’ll fix this! Tomorrow, I’ll find the human and take her down. I won’t fail you twi-”

“You will do no such thing!”

The voice came in stereo for the young pup and her eyes darted to a large boulder in one of the corners. A hand lifted up and grabbed the top of the rock. Black fur and long claws made it clear that it was another wolf while the deep, aged voice made it clear who it was. Her father. Amity swallowed hard at the sight as she dropped to all fours before she said, “You don’t need to get up. You need your rest after all.”

A long sigh came from her father before Odalia said, “Alador, please. I have this.”

There was silence at that before the claw pulled itself back. The man still said though, “Good job on the sweets, honey.”

Amity’s cheeks burned from a mix of shame and embarrassment before she touched her forehead to the stone of the cave. She then looked up after her mom patted her head. The older wolf kept her eyes narrowed as she stayed above her daughter. “The last thing any of us can do is to attack the human again. They’ll think we have something out for them. That we’ve turned our hunting habits personal. Hunters won’t ignore us then because they’ll think we’re a more consistent danger than we commonly are. Our best move next is to leave them alone for a while. Give the village some space until they aren’t as concerned. Understand?”

Amity nodded before whispering, with the slightest crack in her voice, “Yes, mother.”

Alador looked towards his girls before narrowing his eyes. He then shut them gently. They were okay for now after all so he could get some rest, just in case he maybe needed it.

#Amity #Alador #Odalia #TOH #Ask Blog

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saintlike78 · 3 years

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Hey Love! Since u want to know my requests here go more one; Marauders x Fem!Reader (I'm a just a little bit obsessed about them hihi:), the reader is pregnant from her first baby and she's so emotional and sensitive cuz pregnancy hormones and she's crying for everything, at the same time she gets mad about anything, and she's horny all time, so she's like a mess of feelings.

(I thought this idea after seeing a scene from Grey's Anatomy, so if you want to check it out to understand; season 9, episode 12, minutes 02:40 to 04:00)

By; Cora🌈 (and the fic that u made about my last request is more perfect than I ever imagined <3)

Those stupid hormones [Poly Marauders]

A/N: Another great request from Cora! This was so fun to write. We all know that out three boys would be the sexiest dilfs ever, you can’t prove me wrong.

Pairings: Poly! Marauders x Fem! Pregnant! Reader

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: NSFW 16+, very soft and fluffy, dry humping, polyamorous relationship, pregnancy pains, mention of morning sickness and nausea. As always lmk if I missed anything.

The cool water dripped down your face as you stared at your flushed reflection; pink from the blush that had crept its way up your neck and latched itself onto your cheeks. The nap you had woken from had done nothing to soothe the surge of emotions that ran through you like electricity, the cause being the life growing in your belly. The news of your pregnancy had brought you and your husbands nothing but immense joy, but actually being pregnant was another story and you weren’t even that far along, already dreading the next few months filled with pain and changes – you just wanted your baby to be here already and spare you the grittiness in between.

Having dried your face with your towel and concluding that the pink that had overtaken your face and neck wasn’t going away, you made your way to the living room where the hushed voices of your husbands were residing. Trudging down the hallway you could feel the warmth between your legs, arousal churning, making your face even pinker than it already was.

Having finally made it to the living room you looked upon your three beautiful men, enjoying seeing them relaxed just being with each other and waiting for you.

James and Sirius were seated on the long couch, cuddled up in one end and conversing gently with one another, a rare sight of calm between the two.

Remus was sitting in the armchair with a book in hand focused on the words in front of him not paying attention to James and Sirius’ conversation, but smiling fondly when his eyes sometimes left the page to observe two of his lovers.

As Remus’ eyes left the page for his momentary check on Pads and Prongs, he caught sight of your figure looming in the doorway, a gentle smile on your face as you also observed the two men on the couch.

“Hi bun, good nap?” Remus asked as soon as he noticed you, closing and putting his book down on the small table beside the armchair; the two others looking up as well and smiling at you.

You only hummed in acknowledgment as you made your way towards the scarred man who’d asked the question, crawling on the chair to straddle his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck not giving him any time to process before your lips were on his in a needy kiss. Even though he was surprised, he reciprocated in no time wrapping his arms around your body and holding you closer to him. You whined lowly into the kiss as he slipped his tongue past your lips, your hips instinctively grinding down gently, testing the waters.

Your kiss was interrupted by the sound of Sirius clearing his throat very loudly and dramatically, not enjoying not being a part of whatever was going on between yourself and Remus. You turned your head to look at the culprit of the sound, breathing heavily as you stared at him with wide eyes, both James and Sirius looking back at you with a questioning raised eyebrow.

Remus placed a hand on your cheek to turn your face back to face his, his own brow also raised to match the two others' look of questioning.

“What’s going on Bunny? Not that I’m complaining, just curious,” Remus asked, but a cheeky smile and tone replacing his normal calm and serious voice.

Sirius adding to Remus’ question, “I’m also taking it you’re not cross with us anymore.” Sirius referring to the reason for you taking your nap; you practically being sent to bed after snapping at James for making your tea too hot, then being told off by Remus and Sirius only for you to cry and snap at them as well and Remus ‘suggesting’ a nap for you to cool down.

“No, I’m sorry for being mean… especially to you, Jamie,” you turned to look at James, giving him an apologetic smile.

“That’s okay, baby… I know you didn’t mean it,” he smiled back, his usual big goofy smile, letting you know that he wasn’t upset any longer, probably never was.

You turned back to Remus, looking into his eyes and letting yourself momentarily be lost in them, “I just really need you right now,” you said distractedly, earning yourself a smile from the lycanthrope you were seated on.

Remus leaned forward to kiss your nose, your face scrunching up in the process. His hands snaked around to grip under the back of your thigs before standing with you in his strong grasp, making the short journey to the couch and waiting for James and Sirius to break from each other so that he could seat himself between them.

When Remus was seated with you comfortably, James reached forward to tug a piece of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek in the process.

“You feeling better, darling? You still feeling poorly?” James asked, your days lately having been filled with nausea, morning sickness, and discomfort.

“I’m feeling better… just a little achy,” you sighed.

“Where are you achy?” Sirius reached forward to rub up and down the expanse of your back, whilst his other hand rubbed gentle circles on your growing stomach.

“A little in my back… my boob… and my…” you paused, taking Sirius’ hand moving it lower on your stomach, right above your ache, “… here.”

“Ahh, I see,” Sirius nodded calmly, though Remus and James didn’t miss the small sparkle in Sirius’ eyes at the excitement.

You slowly started grinding your hips onto Remus’, frustrated tears gathering in your eyes at your desperation, “please,” you breathed out.

“Aww, bunny, don’t cry… we’ll help you out,” Remus laughed, grabbing your sides to stabilize you.

“Don’t laugh at me! I can’t help it… I’m so achy,” your frustration was clear, and the tears that had gathered threatened to spill.

“We’re not laughing, darling, you’re just so adorable,” James grinned, taking your hand in his and intertwining your fingers with his.

“I’m sorry, please just help me… please,” the first tears fell and slowly ran down your cheeks as you continued your grinding, not actually sure why you were crying.

Sirius removed the hand from your back and wiped your tears with the pad of his thumb while cooing, “Don’t worry, puppy, we got you.”

With that he reached a hand into the loose shorts you were wearing, reaching under the waistband of your panties as well, not wanting to put any more stress on you by teasing, his fingers instantly found your clit.

You did miss the rougher sex you would have before you found out you were pregnant, but the boys refused to put you in any sort of stressful situation when you were already going through so many changes and experiencing so many things at once; they decided that it would be best to be soft and gentle with you unless you specifically requested something else.

“Go ahead, grind that pretty pussy on my hand until you cum, pretty pup,” Sirius said as his fingers slowly started rubbing circles on your clit as your hips picked up speed at his words.

A breathy moan left your lips followed by a whimper of pleasure as your eyes fluttered close at the sensation.

Remus’ hands had moved to hold your hips, aiding your movements and choosing the speed at which you moved.

James took your face in his hands, “eyes on me, darling,” he spoke to which you complied, opening your eyes to look at his face. James leaned in for a kiss, enjoying the noises you would choke on when you ran out of breath, the small whines and whimpers being enough for him to cum in his trousers, but he controlled himself – this was for you.

Sirius’ fingers picked up speed as saw the pleasurable shiver run through your body and the small twitch it was accompanied by.

Your breathing increased and the moans became less controlled as the familiar feeling of pleasure grew in the pit of your stomach. Remus picked up the speed of your hips, occasionally bucking his hips to create more friction and pressure for you, but also creating friction on his cock trapped in the restraints of his slacks. Remus’ breathing increased as well, a few grunts and small low moans could also be heard leaving his mouth.

“Gonna cum,” you moaned out as your hips lost their rhythm, stuttering slightly as the pressure in your abdomen gave away, your orgasm ripping through your body, hands gripping Remus’ shoulders to stabilize yourself as your body shook from the orgasm.

Sirius’ fingers were still working on your clit, working you through the feeling, the moans you were releasing like music to his ears.

Remus’ hips bucked once more before he shook as well, releasing a strangled and stuttering moan, his cum making a mess in his smart slacks. “Fuuuck… baby,” he breathed out as he came, his fingers gripping your hips, but not hard enough to hurt you.

Sirius’s grin was so large you were sure it would break his face. He removed his hand from your shorts, kissing your cheek before cheekily looking at Remus. James was trying to keep his smile at bay, but failed miserably, a small giggle escaping his lips.

“Damn, puppy, look what you did,” Sirius grinned.

You looked at Remus’ face, who sported a lopsided smile; you were always surprised at the effect you would have on them at times, this had happened before, but it wasn’t often.

You giggled slightly with James, “Sorry, Remmy.”

“No need to apologize… this is just what happens when an unbelievably sexy, soon-to-be milf sits on top of me,” he laughed, winking at the last statement, causing all of you to burst out laughing.

“You’re going to be the sexiest milf ever and we’ll be the sexiest dilfs, all the other parents are going to run away screaming,” Sirius joked, standing proudly to do a couple of poses, showing off his muscles, James standing as well to pose with him, another fit of laughter rolling through all of you.

You shook your head, “I love you, my most sexy, soon to be, dilfs.”

“We love you too, pretty baby.”

Tags: @dracosafety, @justadreamyhufflepuff, @teenwolfbitches28, @emma67, @trouble-in-space, @sciapod, @kermiemoon, @autumnandwinteraesthetics, @roonilwazlibswhore, @whitecastles, @sprucewoodlover, @lexi_shoto,

If crossed out it means I couldn’t tag you!

#Cora 🌈#poly marauders #marauders x you #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #marauders smut #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black

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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

Not Your Captain

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1695

Warnings: Falcon and the Winter Soldier Spoilers!!!!! Lots of Angst in this one, guys, lotta feels, some Fluff to counterbalance it, but mostly Angst, Cursing

A/N: This is Part Two to my previous FATWS writing, His Only Contact. FATWS SERIES STERLIST HERE! This one is from Reader’s perspective and gives you a bit more about Reader’s backstory. There will be multiple parts coming out in the next day or two based just on this new episode because damn. It was loaded! Due to this and my workload this past week, I haven’t been able to post the first chapter of my College!AU, Erased From the Stars, but I promise it’s coming! This’ll be my main focus for the weekend though! Expect more parts in the next 24 hours! I’ll be making a masterlist for this particular project in that time, too! Taglists are open! Please contact me if you want to be tagged! Thank you and please enjoy, loves! (Not beta’d, so sorry for mistakes!)

AGAIN: SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The moment you saw it on TV, you knew you had to get to Bucky. You weren’t planning on leaving until the next day, but there was no way you weren’t going. So you caught the first plane you could from the base you were staying at.

You’re feelings were all over the place. Steve had been your best friend for more than the past decade. You were the one there when he first woke up. You were the one to help him get situated. You were the one to help him whenever he needed, to go over to his little place in DC when he was having problems, like the time he thought he was having an asthma attack when it was an anxiety attack or when you had to help him find a new phone after he accidentally broke his.

You were that close to falling in love with him. But life went the other way and, in a weird twist of fate, almost as if the universe wanted to spare you of the heartbreak it knew would come if you gave your heart to the dashing captain, you ended up tripping over your own feet for someone else.

Someone you would never tell.

He was the last thing you had left of Steve and you couldn’t ruin that because of your stupid feelings. And you couldn’t ruin the relationship you had now because it was working. He trusted you, more than anyone else. He trusted you because Steve trusted you and you wouldn’t dare break that trust.

You just hoped, with everything going down in relation to the shield - to his legacy - that you’d be able to keep that promise you made to yourself.

You were in front of his door early in the morning - around four - hesitating to knock. It didn’t take long for him to respond the moment your fist did meet the door.

He looked…tired. You wished, oh how you wished, that you could do more. Anything more. He insisted you helped him plenty already; he claimed he never had nightmares when you were by his side. But it wasn’t enough. Not for what he’d been through. You felt as though you were merely putting a bandaid over a bullet wound.

His chocolate locks were short, above his ears. You could remember how hesitant yet eager he was about doing it. It was difficult to not cut his ear off because he kept moving in anticipation. You would know: you cut it. Those blue eyes that made you trip in the first place were outlined by thick lashes, dark ebony bags beneath them, making the azure pop. He was shirtless, as he usually was when sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), his dog tags resting against his sternum.

You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was watching TV for too long and his hair was less messy than it would be if he actually slept.

The moment his eyes found yours, his plump, chapped lips turned up into the grin he reserved for you and he was pulling you in. Your reaction was instantaneous, your arms slipping around his waist, your chin resting on his shoulder as he found home in the crook of your neck.

He was touch deprived. You knew this, but you never brought it up. Especially considering you were one of the only people he touched willingly. You didn’t want him thinking he was broken, more so than he thought he was already. And you definitely didn’t want to push him into fixing himself. So you didn’t tell him, even though you were pretty sure he knew, and you just let him take the lead.

Sometimes it meant he grabbed your hand in large crowds, or tucked you under his arm when he was threatened. Other times it meant laying his head in your lap when he was tired late at night, or a soft hug in greeting.

Hands slowly tracing his spine, fingers dancing up and down his back, you gave a small smile when you felt him practically purring in your embrace. You could never decide if he was more puppy or kitten. You used to make jokes about the three of them, Steve, Bucky, and Sam, being like a puppy, kitten, and bird that you had to reluctantly pet sit for a friend. You would give almost anything to be joking around like that with them when you went to visit Bucky in Wakanda with Steve.

“Buck?”

He hummed. You didn’t want to pull back, you wanted to stay connected with him for as long as possible, but you had to talk. You didn’t want to talk about it, because that would make it more real, but you had to. You had to.

“Have you seen the news recently?”

His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulling down. “What happened? Is it Wanda?”

You looked down the hall, your lips pressed together tightly, before nodding inside. “We have to talk.”

He nodded, stepping back and pulling you inside. Seeing the makeshift bed on the floor against the far edge of the sofa made you inwardly sigh, but you didn’t say anything about it. Steve was the same way at first.

“Is she okay? Did you find her? Where-”

“It’s not Wanda.” Turning, you faced him, trying to control your own anger at the situation, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “It’s…it’s about Steve.”

Those spectacularly blue eyes narrowed, bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth. “What about Steve?”

You gestured for him to come closer, holding out your hand in offering. He took it and followed you as you led him to the couch. A cleared throat and a deep breath later found you gently explaining what happened to him. That the government had taken back the shield and had given it to someone else. A ‘hero just for America’. A ‘new Captain America’.

You could see his features harden with every word, his jaw ticking dangerously, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. You squeezed his hand as you finished. “He’s got meetings and stuff with senators and governors. They’re taking him on a tour this week. They-they want me to meet him, considering I’m the last of the original seven. Active on Earth, at least.”

The tears that started forming in his eyes made you swallow your own emotions down thickly. He didn’t need your hatred of this wannabe to fuel his own. He needed your support and comfort. He needed to know you’d be by his side through this.

“Are you?”

You blinked, not expecting his first words to be that question. “Am I what?”

“Going to meet with him?”

“I-I…” You stopped talking, knowing that if you continued you’d end up ranting about how he wasn’t your captain. How he could never be your captain. Debating answers, you decided on a simple, blunt reply. “No.”

“Why…”

Running your thumb over his knuckles, you leaned over slowly to press a chaste kiss to his bare skin and blood shoulder. “Take your time. Collect your thoughts.”

He responded to your words by taking a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut, his jaw so tight you feared he might chip his teeth. It was a tense minute before he said anything, the room being filled with his harsh breathing. “You said he gave them the shield.”

“What?”

“Yesterday. You told me he gave up the shield. They put it in the Smithsonian. But you just said they took it from him.”

“He did give it to them, but-”

“Why?” His eyes snapped open, his features twisting into ones of frustration and resentment. “Why’d he give it to them?”

You shook your head, knowing Sam didn’t mean for any of that to happen. He had called you a few weeks ago to ask about your opinion on the matter. You told him that Steve trusted him, and you trusted Steve, so if Sam thought that was the right thing to do…you trusted him. “It’s not Sam’s fault. Don’t be mad-”

“Don’t be mad?! Don’t be mad?!” Bucky shot up, ripping his hand away from yours, making you bite your lip and hang your head as he paced in front of you. “Steve gave it to him! And he just gives it away like he’s regifting a shitty frisbee as a Christmas present! And you don’t want me to be mad?! Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!”

Cringing at the use of your name, which you rarely hear fall from his lips, especially in vexation like just then, you looked up at him, eyes pleading. “Bucky, I get it. I do. I’m mad, too. I’m-I’m furious. But you can’t blame Sam. Please. He just - he’s trying, Buck. Just like me. Just like you. We’re all trying.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell as he stared at you, eyes darting from feature to feature as he studied your face. Before you could say anything else, he was on the floor in front of you, in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face pressed into your stomach.

You could tell he was holding something back - something big - but you wouldn’t push him. You never did. Displaying feelings was always hard for him, even in the early 1900’s; Steve used to tell you stories when you were looking for him after the fiasco in DC. Bucky grew up being the oldest of four and the only boy. On top of that, his best friend was a scrawny, stubborn, punching bag of a boy. According to Stevie, neither of them really learned how to cope or how to deal with feelings. And it showed. Boy, did it show.

Instead of getting on him and asking what was wrong and begging for him to talk to you, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, as you sat back to make the position more comfortable for him.

“Stay with me. I need you.”

You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his head, nodding into his hair. “I’ll stay. For as long as you need me, Buckaroo.”

Taglist (OPEN):

@happygoreading, @thatsdarwinism, @satellitespidey

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