#especially when he tricked him into thinking he was dead so hed do something that he was terrified of????

[senseiwu]

"Whys lloyd nicer to harumi than his dad"

I think you just answered the question right there. His dad.

Meant to love and support and be there for him

But Lloyd's whole life has been marked by things his father has done. And then s8 onwards kicks it up a whole bunch of notches.

He doesn't have to accept any changes, after all his father has done.

He's also like a thousand/s of years old.

It's probably easier to think that someone around your age, who's only been doing bad things the past few years, who you know is hurt too, can change more. That might hurt less.

...there's also the whole thing of. Manipulation having lasting effects lmao

[rupertgayesarchive]

“i think sam would still have his visions, like you said, and then maybe those lead him to dean or to a case that dean is also on? or if angels are more well-known later on, he tracks one down, maybe cas, maybe not (if it's NOT and it's one that works on raphael's side. ohoho. the possibilities...)” YOU MADE ME SO ILL WITH THIS. this is the same anon as before I’m sorry for being like this. i don’t have a google doc open but you are going to convince me to do that unironically.

I think you might be right about the show being different completely if Sam was gone for years and the above quote made me so insane okay hear me out. I’m the gif of the man wildly gesturing at an investigative board right now. okay so in canon the apocalypse starts gearing up. well I mean that starts pre canon but in the context of the show I’d say around season 2 or maybe even 3? I think a lot of dean development regarding Sam happens in this seasons also. i think Gabriel could disappear Sam from THEN but it would be a little different cuz Sam at this point wouldn’t have a ‘normal’ life and is aware of the demon blood and feels inherently monstrous moreso than before so. maybe Gabriel would just stick him in a time loop because that’s just an easy way to keep him contained, but also Gabriel only did his other spike traps to teach the winchesters a lesson he felt would help work in his interest of stoping the apocalypse. and if sam was in a time loop like we saw he would try and get out of it which would mean more maintenance by Gabriel who I assume wants an unalarmed unaware Sam. hm. I think the funnest option here would literally just be he wipes Sam’s memory? like he returns Sam to factory settings and sticks him in one of his pocket dimensions. isont think HED put Sam back Stanford because Sam’s motivations have moved past compulsively wanting a normal life.. OKAY WAIT I just rewatched (sorry in advance I didn’t choose to be like this) s9 and the angel possessing Sam kept Sam locked in his mind by making him think he was on a hunt with dean. obviously Gabriel couldn’t do this cuz he’s not possessing Sam but he would throw Sam in a mundane pocket dimension for however long it takes to stop the apocalypse. so, maybe forever.

genuinely think it’d be so fun if Gabriel died or. wait if this is s6 cas could find him to ask for help against Raphael. i mean working under my previous assumption of Gabriel didn’t stop the apocalypse but just prolonged it leading to a s6 angel war type thing the specifics aren’t important I just want Cas to have some degree of girlboss lying and betraying. i think dean would assume Sam fucking died if he just vanished in s3 which is evil but I think it’d be fun that Sam comes back and dean doesn’t have the same degree or expectation of codepency anymore. like obviously not completely but in canon he did move on somewhat with Lisa and in this scenario it would be more healthy for dean I think because he’s not processing his grief out of obligation. I think Sam would come back and dean would revert immediately back to horribly adjusted before like eventually evening out.

i think it would be fun if Gabriel accidentally got caught up in whatever the fuck cas and or dean is doing which distracts him and Sam figures out what is happening. also it would be sooo fun to me if Sam literally just didn’t know several however many years had passed at this point. like he thinks it’s been a week and HE has discovered angels and is sorely disappointed he’s ready to be like DEAN the lore was wrong angels are evil. all this because... I think it’s fun but also because I think all of them taking pains to hide cas being an angel is hilarious and compelling. dean would probably like.. kind of encouragement through the agreement that angels are dicks after sam is caught up, AND LIKE YOU SAID. Sam should track down an angel who recognizes him and is on Raphael’s side and Sam wants information and is hostile but the angel recognizes him and . wait oh my god angel ruby. not.. not exactly like ruby but the archetype remains I think the angel would reluctantly convince Sam they could be useful and then just subtly manipulate Sam against Cas. like.. unwitting double agent is sooo fun to me. i don’t think the angel would mention cas by name immediately especially if Sam doesn’t know Cas is an angel, mostly because i want them to have the incredibly fun dynamic at first of Sam being just completely confused while Cas is amicable. but I do want Sam to be hostile to Cas sometime because that’s great, and additionally because it’s fun if whatever angel talking with Sam drops progressively larger implications about Cas which Sam just completely buys initially. but then he decides to start like.. talking with dean or bobby or whoever’s around. maybe even Cas. and realizing he’s being played on his own. mostly because I like characters having to admit to their faults but also because I think them deciding to go with the extremely ill advised plan of a triple cross is hilarious.

sorry this is so long and just an excuse for me wanting Sam to have to meet a somewhat less horribly adjusted dean who has like. actual friends and problems not intertwined directly with sam u know?

SORRY i completely lost track of stuff so I'm answering this Now:

anon please open a google doc this could be a really cool idea! i think i only have one series rewrite in me, hfym is IT you know? Anyway yes the idea of Gabe putting Sam in a pocket dimension or a time loop makes ME insane, I remember reading a really fucked up mystery spot au where Gabe accidentally forgot how long he left Sam in that loop and Sam like, lost it? So he shows up after 50,000 Tuesdays have passed or something insane like that. Anyhow I don't think it'd be as stagnant as that but if Sam did end up slowly realizing he was in like, some unreal environment? Maybe either his powers keep breaking through to show him events that he feel should be happening but they aren't? Like a vision about Jenny and her family in the Home ep in s1 but he can't actually get to his childhood home or a different family is in his childhood home? Weird shit like that. And maybe he ends up summoning or finding Gabriel to figure out what the FUCK is happening or another creature tunes into him if Gabriel isn't actively watching him.

Alternatively if you wanted to keep Sam around maybe like, he 'dies' in all hell breaks loose but when Dean sells his soul and Sam comes back Gabe snatches him up? So Dean thinks it was like, a trick or s/t... he tries to find Sam or get his soul back, ends up going to hell anyway, Cas saves him, Sam can't come to the phone rn so the apocalypse doesn't happen as it should... idk idk these are random ideas it's very hot here i can't think.

I also love the idea of another angel helping Sam and convincing him that Cas is the bad evil one that was leading Dean astray while Sam was out of commission that'd be SO fun. And yeah idk if the purgatory/souls thing would happen but angelic civil war is occurring, maybe said angel tries to kill Dean as a way to stop Cas and that's when Sam is like 'oh okay Cas is actually cool'. Maybe... a little pieta? as a treat? Cas cradling Dean's broken body openly crying over him (either dead or just gravely injured?) hm. love that. Sam just sees that sorta thing and is like 'Dean's gay?? is it gay if it's an angel?? Oh fuck I messed up huh' in that order lmao.

[lyz-fics]

Jason Todd X FEM! Reader: But I’m Not Pregnant…

Hey Guys! Lyz Here!

This is a special Fic I wrote especially for @just-me764. I hope you enjoy it, my baby. We all love you very much and are wishing you good luck and wisdom for your piano exam last? (a few? Long-time?) week.

Word Count: 4,074 Words

Summary: after an attack on the city, Jason comes to your apartment with…your sons?

—===✨🎇🎆💀🎆🎇✨===—

You lie awake in your bed dreaming of someplace else, someplace that was safer than this. Safer for the both of you, while the storm rages just outside your window. It was always stormy in Gotham but this night was different. The hail seemed to pelt down with force, desperately trying to rip the pipelines off the side of your apartment and shatter all of your windows. The wind howled through the silence of the night, coming in from under the door and piercing your ears with it shrill noise. Cop cars wailed and people were shouting, you were scared; Jason was out there tonight.

Suddenly interrupting your thought, your window flew open, it bashed against the walls as the wind continued to push it. A figure flew through your window, covered by darkness they edged closer and closer to the end of your bed. Heavy breathing filled your ears as you heard a release of gas when the figure removed his mask. You let out all of your pent up breath as soon as you heard the man’s voice. You reached over to your lamp to turn it on so you could properly see the face of your love.

“New suit?” you asked him seductively, “You look pretty good.”

“Please, (Y/N),” he was practically gasping for breath, “we have a bigger problem at the moment. The boys are in some pretty deep shit.”

God, way to kill the mood, Jason. Whatever – you would help him anyway.

“I’m sorry…we?” you questioned him, “I’m not a robin.”

“It's not that kind of help, please. I’ll tell you more once they get here.”

“Wait, they're coming here?” you were shocked, you can't be seen like this, your room was a mess, you and Jason haven't cleaned in weeks.

Before Jason couldn't even say another word there was a knock at the door, it kept repeating itself as if someone was trying to bust the door down. Jason ran straight for the door without even asking any questions as to who it was.

“Take the baby before it pukes on me again!” a boy yelled.

The young boy at the door practically threw the baby at Jason and stormed around the room or a few seconds looking for the bathroom. As you walked over to Jason about to ask him to shut the door so you two could talk a smaller boy came running down the hallway crying. He latched onto Jason and flopped onto the floor as he cried into Jason's boots.

“Richard,” Jason screamed. You bolted backward when he did shielding your ears, damn that oy can yell. “How dare you leave Timothy!”

You knew he must be mad now, he seemed to be using first names.

“Whatever, asshole. My parents are dead, you can't tell me what to do.”

This was getting too confusing for even you. you had to know what happened, what's going on now, and what's going to happen to these young boys.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

“So you’re telling me,” you paused for a deep breath before you continued, “someone-“

“Some villain,” Jason corrected you.

You looked at him harshly before continuing. “Some villain, was able to study and harness the power of a cryogenic sleep chamber and was able to reverse engineer it to make the boys children again?” you tried to sound like you understood what he had explained to you but truly you were just repeating what he had said. You had absolutely no clue how this had happened and how you were meant to help to fix it.

“Perfect.”

“You’re telling me those three boys are Dick Grayson, Timothy Drake, and Damian Wayne?” still shocked, you were only able to wrap your head around the thought that these were the boys. “Wait,” you needed to know one thing before anything got any more complicated “but who’s who?”

“Uhh, this machine still seems to obey the laws of time so Dick is still the oldest, meaning he was the angsty teenager you saw storm into our bathroom, Tim is the next one, and Damian is here.” He said the last part softly as he was rocking the baby boy in his arms.

“Time? What laws of time Jason? This thing obviously doesn’t obey any laws, period.”

Jason was stumped now, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know the first thing about taking care of children. That’s why he brought them here; he thought you could be able to help.

“I thought you might be able to help,” it was hard to get out the next part for him, “ya know because you’re a girl.”

“I'm a girl. Great,” you threw your hands in the air as you rolled your eyes and leaned back in your chair. “I can magically fix this because I'm a girl. That’s perfect Jason.”

“Arent you meant to have some sort of maternal instinct or some shit,” Jason questioned. You were all starting to get a bit angry now.

“Shit!” Timothy chimed in.

You both turned around to see timothy propped up against the side of your chair trying to cross his arms like you had them, and look angry like Jason. You and Jason both winced, you would definitely have to make some lifestyle changes if you were to accommodate these children.

“Okay, new plan,” you sighed, “we get these boys in bed and figure everything out in the morning.”

“I'm completely with you,” Jason started hesitantly, “but where are we all meant to sleep?”

You looked around your house with a concerned look adorned on your face. You and Jason would have to sleep on the couch if the boys wanted to sleep in the bed. The plan was set, you and Jason got the boys into bed. Although dick was a pain to convince, he ended up sleeping on the edge of the bed away from the other boys. Arguing about who would look after Damian, you both decided it would be best if you left in the bed with the boys. Sleeping on the other edge of the bed you kept Damian up by your head, wrapped in your blankets and secured in place with pillows. In the middle of the bed was Tim, he stuck close to you through the night and something about having these boys in your bed made it somewhat easier to sleep.

Out like a light, Jason came and brushed your hair out of your face as he planted a goodnight kiss on your forehead. He walked over ad situated himself on the couch, covering himself with blankets and wrapping some extra clothes up to make an extra pillow, everyone was straight to sleep.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

Awoken from your sleep so abruptly, you groaned as you had to use your arm to prop your self up. Looking beside you could see Damian squirming in his blanket, looking close to you you couldn’t see Timothy, now you were really worried. Looking all around the room frantically while you tried to pick up Damian carefully you finally found him. In the night, Dick had rolled over and wrapped his arms around little Tim, almost concealing him from sight completely.

“What's wrong?” Jason asked with a groggy tone.

You swung your legs out of bed as you held Damian close to your chest, he flung his arms at you as he used his hands and tried to claw at your chest. You walked over to Jason, maybe he could help you.

“I don’t know what he wants,” you said sleepily.

“isn’t there a list for this kind of stuff?” Jason asked. “ya know, food, drink, burp, play, shit?”

“No swearing!” you reminded him.

Although he was right about the things that a baby needs, you had gone over a special list with him as to what you can and can't do while the boys are children. One of the most important things being that you two were not allowed to swear while the boys are children as you could already see that Tim was picking up all the bad words that you two were saying to each other.

“Okay,” you started, “if you can take him into the kitchen and feed him that would be great. I think there’s some applesauce in the fridge for him to eat. If he doesn’t want to eat warm some milk up for him and feed to him in a syringe if there is any left in the medicine cabinet.” You started to walk off to get a cloth from the bathroom that you could use as a diaper until you were able to go to the store and get the proper supplies that you needed. “Oh, about the milk,” you suddenly remembered something, “I read something about testing the temperature on your wrist first to make sure it's not too hot for the baby. It should be a luke-warm temperature because that is most like the stuff he would naturally get.”

Damn, Jason was right about girls having a motherly instinct, you guess it just needed time to kick in. after you had found some soft cloths you walked back into the kitchen to find Jason trying to feed Damian some applesauce, it looked like he was getting very mad. Quickly you placed the cloth down and took the small spoon from Jason's hand, you twirled the spoon in the air to get Damian interested while making whooshing noises with your mouth, the oldest trick in the book – here comes the airplane.

He hed the food in his mouth for a few seconds, giving you just enough time to look at Jason cockily as if to say “I’m gonna be a better parent than you.” he started crying again before he opened his mouth and let the food plop out onto Jason’s shirt, Jason was degusted, he was a brat from birth he knew that much now.

“Why you little-”

Before the bay could come to any harm you chirped up. “Well, that just means he must need something other than food.”

At that moment the microwave beeped. You looked down and through the window to see the small glass of milk. You opened the microwave and took the milk out, sticking your finger in it and letting drop onto your wrist you determined that it was an okay temperature. Placing the cup down you picked up Damian so Jason could wipe his shirt off. Walking over the cupboard with Damian held close to your hip you found a syringe and walked back to Jason. He took the syringe from you and sucked up some of the milk. Alas, Damian didn’t want to go anywhere near that plastic monstrosity.

It was far into the morning now and you and Jason had tried everything to get Damian to stop whining and start to settle down again. By this time timothy and Dick had woken up and now had headaches. Jason had set up the TV for the boys while you went out into the hallway of your apartment. You tried everything and you were starting to get tired, you were relieved when Jason finally came out into the hallway. You rushed over to him and handed him baby Damian.

“We’ve tried everything!” you were the one whining now, “I’m starting to think he really is just a brat!”

“We haven’t tried everything..” Jason said hesitantly.

“What, Jason,” you were yelling at him now. You were so tired and worried at the same time. “what more can we do?”

“Give him propper milk,” Jason said softly as he stepped closer to you and pushed at your collar bone.

“What the hell Jason?” you covered your chest and took a huge step away from him, “No way!”

“Bruce said they won't have a memory of any of this anyway so I'm sure you’ll be fine”

You sighed, right now you just wanted to go to bed. At this point, you would try anything. You held your hands out to him and he passed you the baby. He opened the door for you as you both walked back in, him going to sit with the boys on the couch to watch…what the hell is even on tv at this time of the night, wait was that Godzilla? Nevermind, you walked down past the kitchen and into the bathroom, closing the door behind you you sat against the bathtub and started to breastfeed baby Damian.

Finally walking out of the bathroom with a sleeping Damian you placed him back into bed and collapsed onto Jason. You saw that Jason had put Dick and Tim back to bed and the TV was switched off. You took your place in bed huddled with Damian. Now you were able to go to sleep properly.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

You were violently shaken awake from your sleep to see a small blue-eyed boy bouncing on top of you. You tried to roll over but the small boy followed you down as he continued to giggle.

“I want breakfast,” he sang, “what's for breakfast?”

You rolled over with your face stuck into the pillow, screaming into it you now realized that last night hadn’t been some crazy dream. The boys had all been reverted back to their younger selves and were now demanding you make them breakfast.

“Jason!!” you yelled for him hoping he would already be up but you only just then remembered that he would have gotten a terrible night’s sleep on the couch. “Go make breakfast!” you yelled louder this time thinking you had to wake him up.

“Richard,” you heard him groan, “make breakfast.”

Realizing that Jason wasn’t wanting to get up either you practically rolled out of bed and hobbled over to the kitchen. Taking Jason's jumper off the back of the couch as you walked past him you put it on over the top of your spaghetti strap top, it was just long enough to almost cover your shorts.

Looking into the fridge, you pulled out some waffles and chucked them onto the counter. Ripping the box open you put then into the toaster to defrost as you scoured the cupboard for honey or maple syrup. Timothy bounced over to the counter as Dick wandered over with his arms crossed against his chest.

“I don’t like sweet things,” he grumbled.

“Then starve,” you sassed him.

Walking over to the crying baby in your bed you picked him up and rocked him in your arms as you brought him to the counter. You got the applesauce out of the fridge and brought it over to where the boys were eating. There you joined Timothy, happily chewing on his stacked waffle sandwich, and Dick, chewing a tiny piece of waffle with a disgruntled face. Carefully feeding Damian you waited for Jason to get up before you went into the bathroom again to feed him some more.

“What are we gonna do today momma bird?” Jason sang.

“Get some proper clothes for these boys,” you said in a grumbled tone as you looked Jason up and down.

“What's wrong with the clothes I gave them?”

“They're yours from years ago”

“So?”

“You had a terrible fashion sense years ago,” you said as you rolled your eyes. Jason gasped at this; he knew it was terrible but he always loved to play the dramatic one in the relationship.

“Leather jackets will always be in season and you know it,” he sassed you as you walked off to change into something you could wear out to the shops.

Cleaning up after boys, you took everything you needed and put it in your backpack. Carefully taking Damian you were able to make sure Dick was in sight as he continued to play on his phone. Jason picked up Tim and carried him as he quickly got tired of walking and ‘needed to be carried or his legs would fall off’. Walking into the first store you went straight to the baby section and picked out some onesies for Damian. Looking through what the store had you picked out a few plain onesies that he could wear, nothing too fancy. You didn’t want to get carried away; he wasn’t going to stay like this forever after all. God, you would love if they stayed like this. Well…Dick might be a bit of a pain so he could change back.

After meeting up with Jason again you looked through what he had picked out for Tim and Dick. Tim had helped him pick some nice tops as well as some cargo shorts and some shoes that would fit him, as well as the necessities. Dick, of course, had picked some jeans and a few grunge tops, he obviously wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Quickly, you paid for the clothes and headed for the next store. Just a normal pharmacy, you picked up some proper formula for Damian and some diapers too. You walked to the counter quickly and picked up a small rattle on the way. Paying for everything once again you loaded everything into Jason's car and started to contemplate what you were all going to have for lunch. Taking a vote you all decided on mall food for lunch.

Walking back into the mall with the boys you spotted a bunch of reporters on the way in but thought nothing of it. Suddenly you heard one of them shout and run towards you and Jason. Flashing cameras blurred your vision as you bumped into Dick.

“Jason, Jason,” The people yelled at you both, “Jason Todd, is this your wife? Is it your girlfriend? How long have you been hiding her from the public eye? Are these your kids? What are their names? How old are they? Jason, what's her name? Jason,” they were throwing questions at you a million times per second and you were starting to get dizzy at how much you had to turn your head to listen to what they were actually saying

Your eyes were going blurry from all the cameras flashing in your face, taking gapped steps you accidentally bumped into Dick or was that Tim? Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder guiding you towards the front of the group of reporters. Looking behind you dizzily you could see Jason leading you, holding Tim in his arms as he curled into his shoulder to avoid the bright lights. You tried to keep looking around, where was Dick? Finally catching sight of him you realized he had finally put down his phone and started paying attention to his surroundings. In his hand was the corner of Jasons Jacket – leather of course – balled up in his fist.

Continuing to push you forward, Jason led you all down the crowded hallway until you found an elevator. Quickly running in he slammed the button to close the door and pressed the top floor – the parking roof, although this wasn’t where they parked it would be a temporary escape from the paparazzi for now until they could make it back to their car or until they could find another way out. Putting Tim down in the elevator, Jason pulled out his phone and began to dial a number.

He waited for an answer, “Yes, Hello? Alfred?” Jason asked, “I need you to come and pick us up from the mall on 97th street, by the park.” Jason paused as he listed for a while, you weren’t bae to hear what they were saying. “Yes, apparently moving to the other side of the city wasn’t enough to stay away for the public eye for long. Thank you so much for the help, Alfred.”

Reaching the top floor, you all got off and started walking around the parking lot to try and get to the ramp exit when Alfred would be coming to pick you all up. They only had to wait a few minutes before Alfred had arrived, he was, after all, conveniently out on a shopping trip for Bruce. Pulling up in the car, Jason got into the front and you hopped in the back between Tim and Dick with Damian curled in your lap. Driving off, you passed the paparazzi on your way out, you heaved a sigh of relief, thankful that you might not ever go through that again.

Finally arriving at the Wayne manner, you followed Jason in as he went to go and speak to Bruce. Hopefully, he had some way to turn the boys back to normal. Talking with him for a while you were relieved when he told you that you would be able to leave them at the Wayne manner for tonight as the aging chambers would be ready for all three of them by the morning. Although you were happy to have the three of them out of your hair you were somewhat sad to see them go.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

After Alfred took you back to the mall to pick up your car you and Jason haded straight home, you both had had enough drama for one day and you both agreed that you didn’t want anymore. Both collapsing onto the bed of your shared apartment you cuddled up next to Jason – after all, it had been a whole 2 nights since you were able to feel his body warmth. You sighed as you felt all of the tension in your body melt away, his chest heaved up and down as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer.

“Well that was fun,” he whispered to you with a small giggle, “I can't believe what those reporters were asking, can you?” he cleared his throat as he put on his high-pitched squeaky voice, “Jason, when was the wedding? Why wasn’t I invited? Are these your children? Ha” he scoffed at the final sentence, “like we're at that stage of our relationship.”

You hummed in response, why was he being like this? Should you tell him what you really thought of the time you spend with the boys and him?

“Babe?” he asked, he must have been concerned about you when you didn’t give him an answer like you usually do. He pushed back now when you didn’t even answer his call, “(Y/N), what's wrong?”

“Hmm? Oh, it nothing,” you sighed as you rolled over pulling his arms back around you as you scooted back into his chest to become the little spoon. You should really tell him. “Ya know, Jason,” you started softly, “looking after the boys was really nice, don’t you think? Especially Damian, because he was so young. Have you ever thought of having a child like that?” you instantly regretted saying something.

“Well yeah I've thought about it but what of it?”

“What if, ya know,” your voice started to get softer and softer now, “a child might be good for us? Maybe we would want to have children together.”

Jason sat up from where he was laying, he cocked his head to look at you, “Do you want to have a kid?” he asked – almost judgementally.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know.”

Jason rolled you over to face him and he lay back down close to your face as he whispered softly, “it sounds like you do know but you just don’t want to tell me for some reason.”

“Well, you just went on about how you think we aren’t ready for that so of course I would be scared to mention it to you.” rolling over again you just wanted to escape from the argument you had created.

It was silent for a few moments before you could fell Jason's lips press agoing the back of your shoulder softly, carefully working his way up past the nape of your neck to your earlobe.

“Maybe a child would be good for me, for us.” He whispered into your ear.

You rolled to face him as you wrapped your arms around his neck to bring his face closer to you as he wrapped his hands down and around your hips to pull you forward. He gave you a long kiss on the forehead before he rolled over with you as he laid on his back. He pushed his arm behind your head as you brought your arm up to place it on his chest next to your face. Your legs intertwined with each other as you drifted off to sleep. Maybe this whole shenanigan had a good ending after all.

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: 😢💔 Carly: treats not tricks Ali: Baby Ali: You can't say seeing Drew shit himself was anything but a 🍬 Carly: ha Carly: hide & seek? Carly: goldie's gonna b too sad to play unless ur sister steps up her comforting tho Ali: fun Ali: or manhunt Ali: and not a fate I'd wish on anyone, that Ali: he can be on our team, stop him pouting too hard Carly: let him hunt u & he couldn't be happier Carly: even if i offered to take off clothes each time i got found Carly: but you want his boy bestie to find you yea Ali: so telling Ali: Lene would have a field-day Ali: ain't no one's prey, baby Carly: nah hes urs Carly: sweet enough to eat Ali: nah Ali: no one's sweeter than you 🍓🍯 Carly: aw Carly: 🐅💙 Ali: I mean it Ali: you be captain, you pick Carly: cos u havent tasted him yet Carly: u pick & then tell me whos sweetest after Ali: do you want me to or don't you Carly: u wanna Carly: he does Ali: I'm asking what you want, though Carly: i want you to have fun Ali: I am Ali: with you Ali: you don't need to worry Carly: its k & so am i Ali: promise? Carly: ur cute & u dont need to worry Carly: hes just a lad Ali: I know he is Ali: like I knew he'd be a good fit for this trip, that's all Carly: idc if u wanna fuck him on this trip or when we get back is what i mean Carly: u can like him if you don't like him as much as me Ali: I don't like anyone as much as I like you, Carls Carly: is that a truth or a dare? Ali: it's the truth Ali: I don't need to be dared into nothing Ali: I want you Carly: u wanna make me cry i reckon Carly: being 👼 Ali: not even Ali: like you said, if either of us wanted to go there with anyone else, it's a bridge we'd cross as and when Ali: I'm not gonna do anything behind your back, trust me Carly: u don't have to Carly: u can do anything u want Carly: not ur ex Carly: cute as she is its v intense Carly: im letting ur wings stay open Ali: you don't have to be the anti-her, you know Ali: just be you Ali: I care about you, what you want and what you think, just tell me that always Carly: ha what would the anti her b? Carly: ur sister mayb Carly: or drews Ali: either way Ali: not what I'm after Ali: 😬 Carly: idk drews sister is cute Carly: & hed b so mad about it Ali: world's most confusing boner, you mean Carly: 😂 Ali: not looking to blow either of their minds Ali: again, in his case, of course Carly: he's the cutest when he don't know what's happening Carly: like a baby 🐕 Ali: if I was being a bitch I'd say that was always Ali: but I've already wounded his ego too much today Ali: bless him Carly: ha Carly: never heard a boy scream w out being touched Carly: learning things this trip Ali: 😂 Ali: stick with me, babe Carly: 🏫 Ali: not 'til Monday Ali: 👎 Carly: im not gonna go Carly: say it was 👽 Carly: snatched for being this sexy soz Ali: good thinkin' Ali: if they're too squeamish to ask about sickness and diarrhoea, they ain't gonna deepdive into probing, like Carly: or 👻have taken over my body Carly: brb after the exorcism 😈 Ali: shame we ain't kicking it catholic Ali: they'd do it for the fun of, beats a normal day of Carly: @ my gma Carly: shes 😢💔 i dont want jesus inside me Carly: he's too nice like Carly: not my type Ali: could always go for Judas Ali: #hotfriend Carly: o true Ali: plus Iscariot is an amazing last name so Carly: baby we gotta get divorced rn Ali: 💔 Carly: dont b sad Carly: ill b back w a great name u can take Ali: hold you to that, girl 💍⛓ Carly: u can Carly: i love u more than any biblical figures Ali: even Mary Magdalene? 😍😍😍 Carly: dont tell her Ali: keep it between you and me Carly: 💙👼 Ali: you're so cute Carly: you're cuter Ali: nope Ali: I 👑 you the cutest Carly: aw Carly: if it goes to a vote youll win tho Ali: nah Carly: yea Carly: ur sister & ex dont like me Carly: the boys like u more Ali: they ain't got the good taste I do Carly: thats putting yourself down! Carly: they all love u Ali: but I love you Carly: i love u Ali: let's go be alone Carly: yea Carly: shoo the 👻s away for us baby Ali: 🔫🔫🔫 Carly: my hero Ali: you know it Ali: not to be my ex about it either Carly: she did rescue me too first night ever Carly: & shes not that bad Ali: 😒 why don't you marry her Ali: 😉 Carly: too straight Ali: 😂 Ali: we'll show her how straight you are Carly: she invited now? k then Ali: maybe not SEE then Ali: hear Carly: if she hears they all will Carly: sure u want that? Ali: let's deliberate Carly: what does that mean? Ali: that we're gonna start and then I'll see how I'm feeling Carly: o Carly: thats a dare isnt it Ali: if you're up to it, baby Carly: u kno i am Carly: & i can make u be louder than me Carly: if u wanna double dare it Ali: you know I do Carly: yea Carly: i can 👀 Carly: ur eyes r really blue & ur cute face is really pink Ali: it's the 🔥 Carly: nah its me Carly: hotter Ali: not gonna disagree Carly: not what i want u to say Ali: go on then, you 👀 Ali: what do you wanna 👂 Carly: more fun to make it happen Carly: if i tell u course youll say it to be sweet to me Ali: okay, let's play then Carly: where? Ali: don't think we'll be able to stop Marlene coming through if we desecrate her car so Carly: so cute Carly: take our chances w the dead then Ali: you aren't scared anymore, are you? Carly: ive got u to protect me y would i b Ali: and I swear, all treats Ali: or you know, the fun kind of tricks only Carly: ive missed u so much Carly: ur here i kno but scooby gang r too Carly: & yea drews the 🐕 Ali: 😂 omg too real 'cos Caleb is clearly Shaggy Ali: you can be Daphne, babe, I'll allow it Ali: but we can be alone all day Monday, yeah, I promise Carly: which 1 is the hot nerd cuz if its ur sister thats awks boo Carly: soz she loves me if she's the scarf wearing fashionista still tho Carly: ur ex coulda got away w it if it weren't for us pesky kids 😠 Ali: we'll let Meena and her duke it out who wants to be who Ali: I'll have to be Scrappy and I'm not even mad tbh Carly: aw ur that cute Ali: 🥊 Carly: thats y id go anywhere w you even ur exs car Carly: so safe w my baby Ali: always boo Ali: I've got you Carly: hold my hand not cuz im scared Carly: dont let go til u have to Ali: that's a challenge isn't it Carly: if it feels like 1 ill have to b that bitch & throw ur 💍 @ u Ali: 😂 Ali: you know how holdable you are Carly: dont leave me yet k Carly: its so loud in my 🧠 & 💙 how much i dont want u too Ali: I'm not leaving you ever Carly: im not saying u gotta promise me so hard Ali: but I am Ali: 'cos I'm not Ali: I love you now, no matter what Ali: I'm gonna be here for you Carly: i kno u mean it Carly: ur 👼 energy is always around me now Carly: but he's a nice lad who likes u thats not coming around much so don't forget Ali: I'll try not to take that personally, babe 😜 Ali: but I know what you mean Carly: do u cuz being w u is like its still summer @ a party where pretty girls keep telling u ur pretty & the lads who r rides wanna get u drinks & u kno every song thats playing Carly: like being high but w out chasing it or any of the shit u have to do to get 💊 Carly: & it lasts the comedown dont get u Carly: idk its hard to explain cept ive never met anyone like u cuz there isnt Carly: but theres girls & lads same as me everywhere Ali: baby Ali: that isn't true and you've given the proof right there Ali: you've got a poet's soul Ali: you're so special and you don't even know it Ali: that makes you more Carly: ur really magic Carly: im sorry Carly: dont b mad at me Carly: or sad Ali: I'm not Ali: why would I be Ali: like ever Ali: but especially right now Carly: idk Carly: i wasn't ur go to girl for pranking every1 Ali: not because you did something wrong Ali: not because of anything Ali: if I thought about it at all I was just trying to involve everyone, you know Ali: make sure everyone's having a good time Carly: jk 👼 baby i kno ur intentions r pure 💙 Carly: y ur 👑 leader Ali: okay you got me back then Ali: 💚 Carly: ha im full of tricks & treats Ali: 😏 come show me Carly: k

[caredogstips]

Leaving heart and dwelling: when your mansion of memories becomes someone else’s | Paul Daley

Its nearly time to go now from this cocoon thats been ours for almost two decades: an archive of elation and observance, of weep and disappointment

My father was never much paid attention to feeling , nostalgia, spiritualism or superstition.

He was practical and banal in belief and taste. In his last years he continued to attend faith principally because he had always had said and done and, I believe, to have done otherwise wouldve compelled an explanation to my excessively churchy mother.

Im not sure he believed in saints or even the Holy spirit. He allows one to scoff at what he regarded the oddness of nuns, especially at the traffic lights if they were behind the wheel of the next car. He certainly never believed in ghosts.

Which is why I was flummoxed when he told me hed once checked his mother wandering around his old category residence. It might have been on the working day she died or, perhaps, where reference is locked up the age-old neighbourhood for the last time upon selling it years later. I cant quite remember. And its too late to ask him now.

Grief will do strange things to ones envisages, for certain. Perhaps hed simply fantasy his mother. I dont know. But I do know that I dream of my parents often. I know they are dead. But in my dreams they are always alive and inside or around my house. My subconscious wants to keep them here, in my home.

Its virtually time to go now from the members of this house thats been my cocoon for almost two decades. An archive of lightnes and gala, of anguish and disappointment, extremely, its the place where Ive written six volumes and a million other words, many of them cruel but all of them from the very heart of home.

Its where we produced our newborns. And its where we still, at certain times of the year, mourn one who never reached it.

Our dead mothers are here, very, and in more than only our dreamings. Yes, their personas are on the walls, just as they will be wherever we go next. But their day lived in this house, the working day and weeks and months when they marvelled at “their childrens” primarily just for their plateau ordinariness( everyone, especially on Facebook, boasts that their teenagers are extraordinary, right ?) is simply remain here.

In some directions its my mother-in-law whose proximity I still feel and miss most acutely around this plaza. She ever managed to crowd the seam, such was her capacity to simultaneously solve any maths difficulty, recite the words to an obscure hymn, administer piano rehearsal, sew a button, iron a shirt, change a nappy and feed the dogs, all while nuking my favourite Le Creuset, before settling in at the kitchen bench while we talked about anything and drank wine-colored as I cooked for the both adults and chiselled the charcoal-gray from the pot.

The dead parents are fixed in my recognitions, in my experiences, merely here, within these walls. Those who live here next, perhaps having abandoned their own souls, wont know any of that of course.

And, so, I think: “whats happening in” all of that life lived, ours and that of the departed, all of that human era expended here, when we move?

One of my Indigenous mates anticipates you should have a meagre smoking formality when you leave a house and another at the other goal when you settle into a new plaza. That draws sense to me: a smoking rite( by which I signify some smouldering gum needles and jasmine in a recipe, with no deliberate breath) to signal to ancestors that youre leaving and to please follow, and another in the new lieu to assure incumbent tones you make no harm.

We havent moved yet. But already I feel like Im chiselling with all of this eyeing off of pretty residences by the water where I might mash my( by necessary brand-new, smaller) writing desk, pack our books and hang our prowes, where the dogs( and kids; not quite a secondary circumstance) might cavort merrily. A plaza in which to live brand-new know-hows, accrue more remembrances, promote people and bird-dogs, change veggies and blooms and books.

Theres so much material we cant take.

Like the majestic golden ash out the back, the possum ladder to our roof, whose buds clog our troughs each autumn.

We carved our initials, the three of us, in the stem when we moved in back in 1997: our older daughter, EM , and us adults leaner, darker-haired, little battered by lifes vagaries and chagrins: PD 4 LT .

Soon originated the JD of the son , now nearly 18. We didnt couldnt engrave the initials of the babe who didnt make it, into the golden ash. It was, perhaps, a year later when we observed the boy had taken it upon himself to write of our loss by engraving heartbreak into the stem for all of us: 4 JD 4 ED …. Years subsequently another living little girl, lastly, at last, became the tree: … 4 CJ .

When our son was born we started on what we called the 21 -year project. The theory was that, like Michael Apteds Up series, we would chronicle on cinema, through interviews and footage, his life to age 21. Life constant pas, juggling same, though often uncomplementary, occupations, corroborating ailing parents and other children went in accordance with the rules. We gave up when he was about three. But we did observe his proliferation with ways of pen and appointments on the side of a bookcase that is fixed to one of the walls. Over the years all sorts of random tourists sidekicks, rellos, tradies were recognized off on the side of that bookcase.

It was our visitors notebook. It has to stay, I suppose.

Im not at all handy. But I wonder if a mallet and chisel would do the trick.

Im not much of a gardener, either. Our front is often the unruliest in what is, even by Canberras criteria, a preferably ruly street. But our magnolia, which briefly buds in a prosper of aubergine and white yearly, is the most magnificent in the neighbourhood. Every year the teenagers from when they first sounded as bulges in their fathers belly have been photographed beneath that blooming tree with their mum.

For years Ive waged crusade on the possums who sit in the tree from late wintertime and heckle the dogs while fattening on my magnolia buds. Theyre protected, so you cant kill them, but theyre startled of bright sun. By photo time in early September, only about half the tree blooms. But its enough for the annual photograph.

And as fate or life or occasion or something would have it, the woman from the Australian Bureau of Statistics whos been leaving little memoranda for me for weeks, pushing me to complete the ill-fated census, only knocked on the door again to ask if Id done it hitherto. No. Sorry. Not yet.

I love your home, she said.

I always reckon it seems so messy from wall street, I replied.

No. It gazes interesting and loved.

Its photo time No 18 this weekend. God, it comes around rapidly. It will be our last-place here. Soon well leave.

And our house, our vessel of occasion, of remembrances and beings, will be coming someone elses.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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