#especially with newbies joining constantly

[anniebanannie0]

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[patchs-curiosity-corner]

𝑳𝒆𝒕 𝑴𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒀𝒐𝒖 | 𝑺.𝑹. [𝟏]

𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟏𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟕 - 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒉

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: A new member is added to the BAU soon after Reid’s kidnapping. She seems determined not to overlook him.

𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: angst, hurt/comfort, slight arguing, themes of drug addiction and self harm, referenced overdose, likely inaccurate depiction of drug addiction/withdrawal, Spencer and Reader being insecure.

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 2.5k

𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: Fair warning this could be horrible. It’s part one of hopefully six total oneshots stemming from the concept of ‘5 times you help Spencer Reid heal, and one time he helps you.’ So, heart attack levels of cheese. Largely inspired by my righteous fury when no one helped Reid with his addiction. I will do a tag list for anyone interested in being alerted when part 2 comes out! Not proofread.

𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

You and Spencer Reid don’t get along.

Maybe that’s the wrong way to put it; it would be more accurate to say that he doesn’t get along with you. You were brought on a month ago, 36 days 4 hours and 27 minutes had passed since you had first walked into the bullpen and given him one more person to deal with. It didn’t help that you were sweet, gentle and understanding in a way seemed to grate on his already frayed nerves. You’re 22, but only recently, recently enough to have just barely squeaked out the title of “youngest member to join the BAU” that had previously belonged to him. It’s a childish record, he’s a 25 year old man, and it shouldn’t affect him much less upset him, but it does. 

Your presence feels like a personal insult. Your arrival so soon after his kidnapping churns his stomach, makes him wonder if the team is questioning his capabilities as a profiler. Why else would they need to suddenly hire an extra person? Not-so-deep down he knows that logically, it probably had to do with the recent increase in the units budget. Nothing to do with him, but rather Hotch taking advantage of the opportunity to have another pair of boots on the ground during cases. None of that matters though, because Spencer doesn’t feel very logical right now.

He’s found more little ways to justify his distaste for you in the weeks since your arrival. The way you always seem to smile and nod along with his ramblings, despite the fact they’re not directed at you. You must be mocking him, he concludes, secretly patronizing him for his inability to shut up. Or the way you look at him after learning about his recent… ordeal with Tobias Hankel, the gentle sympathy in your eyes he willingly misinterprets as pity. He hates being pitied. He hates being patronized. He hates the analytical way you always seem to look at him, and he almost immediately convinces himself that above all: he hates you.

———

Something’s up with Reid.

You’d noticed it from day one, but it had been easy to disregard as growing pains. After all, with Emily having only joined months before you, you were sure there was going to be a bit of an adjustment period, especially when the sting of losing one of their previous teammates was still so fresh. You’d heard so many good things about Elle from everyone, and you’d be lying if it didn’t make you feel even a little bit insecure as the greenest among them.

It takes about a week for you to realize there’s something more to his behavior than awkward aloofness. The way he wears long sleeves even as the cool air of spring grows warmer, the near-constant twitch in his brow, and especially the way he seems to constantly fidget with those aforementioned sleeves, scratching nervously at his inner elbow. Even just the way his wiry fingers tighten around the strap of his bag, you can’t shake it.

Something is terribly wrong.

You try to remain casual, asking after him when he disappears into the bathroom for a touch too long, or when he takes a sick day that even as the newbie you know is out of character. Innocuous little questions like: “Is Reid alright?” or “Does he seem paler lately?” that gleaned no real answer from any of their teammates. It made you furious. Spencer was a part of their team, part of their family, regardless of his icy attitude towards you. So why wouldn’t any of them help him?

You watch him deteriorate over time, in the 36 days you’d spent on the team you’d been silently festering, mentally begging someone to do something, anything for Reid. Help him! your eyes beg Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, JJ, anyone. He’s going to die like this…

…but no one does, and enough is enough.

———

Spencer can’t eat, he can’t sleep either. Whenever he tries to his mind is filled with the memory of the horrible night he spent with Hankel, his crystal clear eidetic memory forcing him to relive that torture again and again the moment he closes his eyes. He knows there must be dark circles under his eyes, that his cheeks are likely sunken and pale, eyes rimmed red from lack of sleep. He’s certain the others must have noticed, there’s no way they couldn’t. But he tries to convince himself they haven’t, because if they had and no one had checked on him? …He doesn’t want to consider that reality.

The soft rapping of knuckles against his door stirs him out of his sleepless daze. It’s late, late enough that no one in their right mind would be awake right now, much less knocking on his door. In his drained state he heaves himself off the couch, plodding with weighted feet over to the door of his apartment. He doesn’t bother to check the peephole, if he did maybe he wouldn’t have been so startled by who he sees upon pulling open the door.

You.

A travel bag slung over your shoulder and a determined look set on your features. You both just stand there for a moment, until your voice breaks the silence.

“Hi.” It’s just one word, but it tugs at something inside him he can’t quite name.

“Hey.” He croaks back apathetically, or at least he tries to. Before he can say anything else or even question what you’re doing you push past him into his apartment, tossing your bag onto his kitchen island. “What the hell-“ Is all he manages to get out, irritation swelling in his chest as he scowls at your form, looking at him with arms crossed, fingers picking at the frayed edges of your sweater.

And just like that it’s quiet again. It’s his voice that breaks the silence this time, quiet and tired: “What are you doing here?”

“Make sure you don’t die, hopefully.” you murmur, your own voice cracked by anxiety and a frail attempt at humor. “Where are they?” That makes his jaw tighten, you both know what you’re talking about, and it causes long-suppressed frustration to boil up in his chest.

“You have no right to be here. You- you have no right to look through my things.” The words are gritted out through teeth clenched so tight you worry they may crack. It’s painful, watching him fight so hard against the help you’re trying to offer.

“Look, Spencer” you sigh, unable to hide the pained expression of your own face, “Hotch knows. I talked to him about it.” You brace for something, anything. Maybe shouting, you seriously doubted Reid would ever consider laying a hand on you but… drugs did funny things to those you would have thought you knew. “S-so you either let me help you, or I’ll be forced to report your current addiction to Strauss.” Your voice had wavered at the beginning, but the more you spoke the more conviction bled into your voice. Soon all the pent up anxiety and worry for your brilliant coworker was pushing you forward, fueling your words. “I won’t stand by Spencer, because if you keep going like this it’s not a matter of if but when it kills you, and that is the last thing I would ever want because you are too damn good for that.”

Reid glares at you, every ounce of misplaced anger in his system directed at you alone in a gaze far more furious than you or anyone thought him capable of. Then his shoulders slump, and that tired, worn appearance returns. He could deny it, claim you had no proof, but with no energy left in his tired, broken body- He didn’t have it in him to lie. When Spencer finally speaks it’s quiet, and reluctant.

“In the bathroom,” his voice croaks, “Inside the medicine cabinet.”

He would have expected you to immediately go there, to play the role of drill sergeant for his sudden makeshift rehab, but you don’t. Instead your own shoulders sag, and in a number of slow steps you cross the room to where he stands, wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. Spencer goes stiff at first, unable to process the sudden display of affection, why this girl seems to care so much about him when he’d been nothing but distant to her at best. After everything he’s been through though -even with his germaphobia- it’s impossible not to relax into the embrace, his own slender arms wrapping around you in return. It’s nice to be held again, he thinks.

“This is going to be awful.” You mumble against his chest, “A week and a half, that’s all Hotch could give us. Far as anyone’s concerned I had a family emergency and you’re on a mandated sabbatical.” It takes him a minute or so to process her words, stuck in the haze of affection after going to long without.

“…what are you talking about?” Reid asks, his voice is quiet. He can’t understand why you care so much, he just needs you to go away now, before he gets addicted to your presence as well. Before something happened to you and you left; like his Mother, like Elle.

“Getting you clean.” You say hesitantly, finally pulling away from him after what felt like a peaceful eternity. “Under normal circumstances quitting outright is a terrible idea, but-“ you swallow thickly- “you’re a federal agent, so there’s a clock ticking.”

“And your plan is…?” Spencer sighs, running a heavy hand through his hair and down his face. He tries to ignore the feeling that lingers, the ghost of you in his arms.

“Stay with you through the inevitable withdrawals, I hope.” The words are tentative, not as confidant as before while you pick nervously at the sleeve of your sweater. “The first thing I have to do is get rid of all the Dilaudid in this apartment.”

His body goes rigid again, this time with the flash of panic that goes through him at your words. Hands clenching and jaw tightening, the thought of losing the thing he’d come to rely on so desperately makes him terrified. Part of Spencer wants to say ‘no,’ to stop you- beg you not to let what gave him peace drain away… But he just can’t muster the energy, forced to watch in dejected silence as you conduct a thorough search of his apartment for the offending drug -his only comfort and companion in these past two months- and dispose of it, all in a few moments. Gone.

Once you’re finished, you settle yourself on his warm, comfortable couch, letting out a quiet sigh as you wave him closer. “C’mere.”

Reid lets himself be touched for the second time that night, accepting your offer and laying his head on your lap. He’s quickly hit with a hazy feeling as your fingers slide into his hair, playing gently with the chocolate strands and scratching lightly at his scalp.

“Are you angry with me?” You ask softly after a moment, concerned by the silent treatment he was currently giving you. Again he can’t lie to you, even compared to the unwillingness to admit his fear and anger. In an act of petty rebellion he refuses to look at you when he answers.

“…yes.”

“That’s alright.” He hears you reply, as soft and gentle as everything else you had been so far. “You can be angry, Spence.”

“Why are you even here?” He bites back, a storm of emotions behind his eyes as he finally looks up at your face: anger, sadness, confusion, fear. The brilliant ‘boy-genius’ reduced to an absolute mess.Your answer is just as easily spoken and simple as before: 

“Because I care about you.” Those five words ring in his head even as you continue. “Because despite how we started out you are an incredibly genuine person, Spencer, and probably one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.” Spencer shakes his head, for once lost for words. Why were you here, being so nice to him? Why did you even care in the first place when he had been so cold and hostile to you over the past month. 

“I don’t- you shouldn’t care.” He spits out, turning away from her. The action feels petulant.

“But I do.” You say a hint of amusement in your voice despite the circumstances. “And you can’t stop me from caring.”His face feels hot, and his jaw clenches again as he rolls back over to hide his face in your stomach. Reid mumbles in a voice almost too low to hear: 

“You’re frustrating.” It makes you laugh.

“Don’t worry Reid,” you say through your laughter, “the feeling is definitely mutual.”

———

The next week is just as brutal as you had both been expecting.

Spencer didn’t know what he expected drug withdrawal to be like. He’d read plenty of textbooks sure but they did nothing to prepare him for a firsthand experience. The only way he can think of to describe it is pure, unadulterated misery. His body struggles without consistent doses of Dilaudid to keep him going, it’s evident he had become much more dependent than he realized in a short amount of time. He can’t eat, he feels violently sick. Too hot one moment and freezing the next with his emotions following much the same kind of roller coaster.

You stay through all of it, keeping him comforted during panic attacks and soothing his fevers with a cool washcloth as you try to get him to drink just a little more water, even if it may come back up minutes later. You’re tired, exhausted even, and yet you won’t leave Spencer’s side for more than a second. It’s easy to endure the moments of anger he has, shouting and cruel words flung in your direction are hardly any price at all if it means he might recover faster. He doesn’t understand how you take it, all the snapping, screaming and crying. Reid takes out every anxiety and fear he has on you, and still you remain in the end, ready to let him fall into your arms again and cry like a child.

He feels guilty, ashamed even in this state. An overwhelming feeling of helplessness weighs heavy on his heart, but little by little, things do get better, even if he doesn’t notice at first.

It must be the 8th day of this hell when he realizes that slowly, far too gradually for him to notice: things have returned to something oddly adjacent to normal. Sitting at his kitchen table with a cup of warm honey tea in his hands, watching you hum along to the radio while you prepare breakfast… Spencer almost feels human again. Things weren’t perfect by any means, his hands still trembled, the ghosts left behind by the worst of it all still tugged at his mind, a familiar voice begging him for just one more hit. But the voice is tiny now, easier to ignore. It was strangely peaceful, in fact, the way he could sit at this table and observe the domestic scene of you cooking breakfast in his kitchen. His chest warms pleasantly, and for what feels like the first time in years:

Spencer can finally breathe.

[honeypiehotchner]

The Gambit (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part one

I'm backkk 👀 Reminder that y'all do NOT like each other (for now 🤭)

I did a lot of math to make sure I had my timeline in order but I won't bore y'all with all the numbers. Some basics, tho: we're somewhere in s5/6, Foyet doesn't exist here but Haley and Hotch are divorced and Jack lives with Haley, Reader is in her mid 30s and Hotch is in his mid 40s. That's all for now, happy reading! xxx

Chapter warnings: these two are at each other's throats! and a new case begins ofc

Your day started out perfectly.

You sorted more of your belongings into boxes for the movers. Everything will be shipped ahead so it arrives shortly after you do at your apartment in Virginia. You’re running ahead of schedule, so you even have time to stop for a good breakfast before heading into the office.

The day felt…too good to be true. And you quickly find out why. 

“The BAU?”

Your superior, Agent Reynolds, sits across from you and raises an eyebrow, assuming incorrectly that you haven’t heard of the branch. “The Behavioral Analy—”

“Yes, I know what the BAU is,” you cut him off, something he’s used to, waving your hand sharply. “Why the BAU?”

“You were requested,” he replies simply with a slight shrug.

“By who?”

“Agent Hotchner, as I’m told.”

That is the last name you ever expected him to say. 

“Hotch?” you echo incredulously. “You’re kidding.”

Reynolds sighs. “I’m really not.” You know deep down Reynolds will miss you, but he’ll also thank god every day that he doesn’t have to put up with your attitude anymore. 

“Huh.” You could laugh. You almost do. “Interesting.”

Your now ex-boss gives you a look, and a sigh. “What now?”

“Oh, nothing,” you shake your head. “Agent Hotchner and I have met before, that’s all.”

+++

Ten and a half years prior to the present day, you worked on a case with Aaron Hotchner. 

Key word: case. One singular case.

You were joined by agents Gideon, Morgan, and, of course, Hotchner. You were the only woman with them at the time, and that already threatened to drive you up a wall. To make matters worse, you and Hotch could not get along to save anyone’s lives. 

The two of you butted heads for two weeks straight, but even that is sugar coating it. He raised his voice at you and you raised your voice right back. Of course, only in private. In the field, you were as professional as can be. But in the tiny conference room that you had to set up for them coming in unannounced? All bets were off.

You’ve never been a particularly angry person, but something about Hotch brought all your anger to the surface.

He was the most arrogant man you had ever come across. He explained things to you that you already knew, and even when you told him you were aware of the topic, he’d continue explaining like he hadn’t heard you, just out of spite.

He underestimated you in ways that had your blood boiling. He wouldn’t send you to interview anyone, despite that being your area of expertise. He had you doing busy work, like a goddamn intern. 

You were your office’s own little BAU. You had read Gideon’s papers, been to profiling lectures. You became a profiler because you knew your city needed one, and by your fifth year in the office, you were one. You knew what you were doing, and Hotch treated you like a newbie. 

He always walked around in a damn suit and tie. Does he not own a t-shirt? Does he know what that is? Would it kill him to breathe once in a while?

Why does he have to look like he constantly has a stick up his ass?

Of course, you aren’t totally innocent. You found his buttons and pushed them since day one. He hated being talked over or shouted at, so those became your favorite things. Especially after he began doing them to you.

Don’t disobey direct orders, he said. You did. And you got the results needed, so he had no choice but to move on.

Don’t come into the interrogation room unless asked for, he said. You did anyway. The unsub needed to feel important, a high priority, and he wasn’t. So, you walked in and told Hotch that the Attorney General of the United States was on the phone. It worked. While Hotch “spoke with the Attorney General,” you got a confession. Hotch had to thank you through gritted teeth.

When the case was solved and the BAU left town, you popped a bottle of fucking champagne. Good riddance you screamed and drank straight from the foaming top.

+++

You mutter under your breath the entire drive to the BAU. Your boxes arrived this morning, but you haven’t had a chance to unpack them, so your apartment is currently a shitshow. 

And now you’re driving to deal with another shitshow. 

You haven’t received any emails or texts from Hotch, which is odd, but you’re sure as hell not questioning it. The less you have to deal with him, the better. He probably shares the same sentiment, which is why he hasn’t contacted you.

From far away, Quantico looks more like a prison than it does a headquarters. You hope it doesn’t feel the same way it looks.

The BAU office is just a short elevator ride up from the parking garage, and you dread every second of it. When the doors open on the BAU floor, you want to scream.

But you’re a professional, not a toddler, so you walk your ass through the glass doors and into the bullpen, your head held high like an adult.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Hi Morgan,” you mirror his grin, accepting his hug. “Miss me?”

He’s in the same black t-shirt and black jeans he always wears, his haircut just the same but shorter. And he finally got rid of the “shaving my face every morning” routine. Stubble looks much better on him.

“For ten years,” Morgan reminds you. “What brings you here?”

You shrug cheekily, feigning innocence. “I heard there was an opening.”

His grin, somehow, grows wider and brighter. “Come here!” He tackles you in another hug, this time lifting you up and spinning you. “God is on my side to-day. Where’s Reid?”

“Putting a disastrous amount of sugar in his coffee,” a blonde woman says as she passes, then stops. “Oh, hi. I’m JJ, you must be Agent L/N. I heard you were coming in today.”

You escape from Morgan’s grip to shake JJ’s hand. “That’s me. JJ, you said?”

She nods, shifting her feet to a more comfortable position in her heels. “I’m the BAU liaison, so you’ll see a lot of me. And very little of me. It’s complicated.”

“I hear that,” you chuckle, just glad to see another woman has joined the team.

And to your surprise, another joins the circle, this one with black hair parted down the middle. “Emily Prentiss,” she says, sticking out her hand. “Are we finally getting another woman around here?”

You nod, glad to hear she agrees with your unspoken comment. “Looks like it.”

“Did someone call my name?”

You turn and see the infamous Dr. Reid stirring a mug of sugar with a splash of coffee. He’s wearing a cardigan, per usual, and what looks like the same pair converse from when you first met him five years ago at a lecture the BAU put on. He was brand new back then. His eyebrows furrow when he sees you, and then they go wide.

“Y/N? Hi!” he says excitedly, nearly spilling his drink. “It’s been so long! Wha— What are you doing here?”

You give JJ and Emily a look that only you three truly understand. “Why do none of the men assume I’ll be joining the team?”

Emily laughs. “Believe me, I wish I knew.”

“Wait, seriously?” Reid blurts. “Are you really joining us?”

“Sure am,” you grin. “And once I get out of this meeting with Hotch, you’re telling me when the hell you joined a boyband.”

“Oh, ouch,” Morgan taps Reid’s arm lightly with a grin.

“Uh, you too, Derek,” you punch him, letting him know he isn’t off the hook either. “What’s up with the shirt? Do you not own another color?”

“Damn, momma,” Morgan groans. “You haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you,” you pat his cheek.

“I like you already,” Emily grins.

“Agent L/N,” an unmistakable voice comes from the top of the stairs, effectively ruining the moment. 

He definitely hasn’t changed, you think to yourself as you slowly turn around. 

“Agent Hotchner,” you mimic his tone. “Nice to see you again.”

He grips the railing a little too tightly. And he’s still wearing a damn suit, with a damn tie knotted so tight you wonder if it’s choking him. If it’s not, you want it to be. Maybe he’ll shut up then. 

“I believe our meeting was scheduled for 9am,” he says, earning a sideways glance from the other man standing on the balcony. 

“It still is,” you reply, looking beside his head at the clock on the wall and shit. “I’m late. That’s my fault, sir. I apologize.”

“Yes, it is,” he says. “We need to make this short. Hurry up.” 

He turns and disappears into his office like some imitation of Dracula. You give Derek a helpless look.

“Welcome back,” Reid says, grimacing.

“Thanks, bud,” you reply, knowing he means well. “If any of you hear any screaming, pay no mind, that’s just how we greet each oth—”

“Agent L/N!” Hotch shouts from his doorway.

“Coming!” you shout back, just as loud and just as annoyed. “For fuck’s sake,” you mutter to yourself.

You hop up the stairs two at a time, reaching Hotch’s office in seconds. 

The man that was beside Hotch offers you a smile. “I’m Agent Rossi,” he extends his hand. 

“Agent L/N,” you return the friendly expression, shaking his hand, just glad that he at least seems happy to meet you. “I’ll see you soon, I’m sure.”

Rossi nods slowly, mouthing, “Good luck.”

You like him already. You smirk.

Hotch is standing behind his desk when you walk into his office, anger written all over his face. His arms are crossed over his chest, fingers picking at his nails ever so slightly.

“Close the door.”

“Promise not to shoot me?” you joke, but it doesn’t land. You shut the door and take a seat in front of his desk while he remains standing. “Well?”

Finally, he speaks. “What the hell are you doing here?”

You let out a laugh. “Oh, great.” You sit up because this is just stupid. “Are you kidding me? This is the last division I wanted to work in, but I was transferred here. At your behest, might I add—”

“I can assure you, Agent L/N, I did not request that you join my team,” he says as he sits down, rolling toward his desk and placing his arms over the files littered before him.

“Well then Agent Reynolds is a fucking liar, I guess,” you deadpan. “He’s the one who told me I was assigned to the BAU — because of you.”

“Well it wasn’t me.”

“Glad we got that settled,” you shoot back, wanting instead to add, like I fucking care if it was you or not. “Listen, whether either of us likes it or not, I was assigned here, so I’m here. If you want me to leave, take it up with Agent Reynolds or whoever the fuck really requested me. But I can’t do shit about this, and this is now my job, so I’m not leaving just because you want to have some pissing contest.”

He looks like he’s chewing on fire. “Your job security is not my problem—”

“For God’s sake, call your fucking boss, it won’t make you any less of a man to ask a goddamn question about why you have a new agent in your office.”

Hotch glares at you, but does as you say, picking up his desk phone and pressing a few buttons.

You sit back in your chair, waiting in silence. You turn your head to look through the blinds because Hotch didn’t close them all the way, and you nearly start to laugh. Huddled around one desk, Morgan, JJ, Emily, Reid, and another blonde woman dressed in bright colors and shapes are listening intently to Reid who is no doubt lip reading and translating this entire conversation.

Finally, the line connects and Hotch starts speaking. Almost as quick as the phone call begins, it ends.

“Well?” you ask.

“There was some miscommunication,” Hotch admits, though he does not look happy about it. “Welcome to the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

You smile sarcastically. “Thank you, Agent Hotchner.”

“You’re dismissed,” he says. “We’ll meet in the conference room in five minutes to discuss the rest of today. Don’t be late.”

“Yes, sir,” you mutter as you escape his office, just glad he didn’t torture you with a handshake.

Emerging from Hotch’s office, you stand against the railing and ask the team where the conference room is.

Morgan points to your left. “Why?”

“He told me we’re meeting there to discuss—”

“That’s on hold now,” JJ says, whirling around the BAU with an armful of files. “We’ve got a case. Missing girl, thirteen years old.” She passes out files in the bullpen, handing one to you as she ascends the stairs.

“Shit,” you mutter. “How long has she been missing?”

“Starting without me?” Hotch asks as he walks out of his office. He takes a file from JJ and says a quiet, “Thanks.”

“Yep, we are,” you say right back, scanning your file. You think you hear Rossi let out a chuckle at your response. “Gone since this morning. Are they certain it wasn’t overnight?”

“The mother dropped Lila off at school this morning at seven, and by nine, she was absent,” JJ explains as everyone fills into the conference room. “They paged her at school over the intercom, but she’s not in any of the classrooms.”

“How are we hearing about this so quickly?” Morgan asks. “I mean, I’m glad, but it’s been…just over an hour. We don’t normally have this much time.”

“Because,” JJ pauses, pointing the remote toward the TV. “This is Lila’s father.”

On the screen, the FBI’s Most Wanted are staring back at you. JJ clicks again, and one face comes forward.

“Who?” Emily says.

“Richard Monroe,” Reid says aloud. “He’s been on the run for almost two years. He’s said to have killed a dozen people, all females, but they suspect there might be more. Every time we’ve come close to catching him, he gets away.”

“And now his daughter is missing,” Rossi adds. “I’m guessing this guy is our unsub.”

“I don’t know,” you stare into Richard’s eyes on the screen. “When was he last seen?”

“You can investigate that when we get there,” Hotch says curtly. “They’re waiting for us and we’ll lose time by flying. Wheels up in ten.”

Everyone files out of the room and Hotch stays back, waiting for you to be the last one in the room.

“Agent L/N,” Hotch gets your attention. “Since you’ve never tackled a case like this before, try your best to follow orders, and watch what the team does. Don’t make any rash decisions and don’t go off on your own.”

None of his comments anger you as much as the first one. “You don’t know that I’ve never encountered something like this.”

“Don’t argue with me when we have a missing girl,” Hotch snaps. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” you reply, pushing past him.

“I hope you have a go bag,” he calls after you. “There will be no time for shopping when we’re on the ground.”

“Then I’ll just wear your clothes!” you yell back, knowing it’ll get a rise out of him. You hear Morgan snicker down in the bullpen. 

“Agent L/N,” Hotch says, and when you turn around, you see he’s giving you his famous stare.

You sigh. “My bag is in my car. It’ll take me two minutes to grab it. That’s clearly less than ten. Unless you have anything else to say that might delay me further?”

“Go,” he says, waving you away as he heads into his office to grab his bag. “Now.”

+++

While you’re on the jet, you do some research on Richard Monroe. He’s a grade A piece of shit if you’ve ever seen one.

But he’s not the type to go after his daughter.

“Garcia, can you check and see if Richard tried at all to contact Lila on her cell?” you ask.

“I would, sweets, but I can’t find Lila’s phone. Their house phone, however, has no calls.”

“He wouldn’t call the house phone, not with Lila’s mom watching over her like a hawk,” you murmur. 

Hotch lifts his head. “How do you know that?”

“Know what?”

“That her mother would be overbearing.”

“Her father’s a serial killer on the run, Hotch,” you reply. “Any mother would keep tabs on her daughter’s every breath if she had a father like that. It’s logic.”

“She makes a fair point,” Rossi says.

“It’s unfounded,” Hotch ignores him, still dead set on irritating you. “Until you talk to her mother, don’t jump to any conclusions about her behavior.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Until I do?”

“Yes, you will be talking to her mother when we get on the ground. Morgan will go with you.” He nods to Derek. “Reid, you and JJ get set up at the precinct. Prentiss, Rossi, and I will go to the middle school. We’ll meet back at the precinct to discuss our next steps.”

You share a look with Morgan before sinking back in your chair, glaring at the file instead of Hotch.

It's going to be a long fucking day.

[ginnsbaker]

Bulletproof (4/?)

Part Summary: There's a new recruit who seems to have taken a liking to you. If things were normal between you and Wanda, maybe she wouldn’t feel so…threatened.

Chapter word count: 2.6k+ | Tags: Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Enemies to Lovers to Enemies, Gay disasters

Ship: Wanda Maximoff x Gender Neutral Reader

Part Five | Series Masterlist

-

The newest recruit, Daisy Johnson, seems to have taken a liking to you.

At least, that's what Wanda Maximoff has observed since Daisy's inclusion earlier this week.

From the corner of her eye, Wanda constantly catches the newbie stealing glances at you during training, meals, and even debriefing sessions. It's not that she keeps tabs on you or anything, but she can't help but notice when you catch someone’s attention, especially when that someone seems to be nearly everywhere you are.

In every training session, Wanda notes Daisy choosing to partner up with you or standing close by during briefings. Even in the more relaxed moments within the compound, Daisy seems irresistibly drawn to you. Wanda doesn't miss how Daisy occasionally throws prolonged glances your way, or how she laughs a tad too enthusiastically at something you say.

And it doesn't help that you and she walk on eggshells around each other since your confession in your old cell.

Neither of you has made any attempts to talk to the other again. Not even a glance, as if pretending the other doesn't exist will make that fateful night disappear. But for Wanda, the more she tries to push it out of her mind, the more sharply it edges back in, refusing to be forgotten.

She can't help but wonder: Was it wrong of her to move like that in her sleep? And were you out of line for not waking her up right away? 

And more importantly: Were you so repulsed by it that you chose a prison cell over sharing her bed?

All these questions keep swimming in her mind, to the point where she has considered going to whoever handles this sort of stuff at the compound—kind of like an HR Department, but for Avengers. Perhaps a course on understanding boundaries might help you both move past this and start anew.

But then again, addressing it means dealing with it, and right now, just avoiding the whole mess seems so much easier.

As Wanda turns a corner in one of the compound's sprawling hallways, her eyes catch sight of you and Daisy. You’re both laughing, heads thrown back, not a care in the world. Wanda's eyes involuntarily narrow at the sight, taking note of the negligible distance between you two. Daisy's hand is resting lightly on your arm, fingers dancing along the fabric of your shirt as she emphasizes a point in her story.

Wanda tries to walk past nonchalantly, yet can't seem to dispel the feelings that bubble up each time she sees you with Daisy.

It's maddening. If things were normal between you and Wanda, maybe she wouldn’t feel so…threatened. 

But they aren't. 

And she does.

-

Wanda's patience is tested to its limits one Saturday afternoon. 

Tasked with joining Sam to whip up dinner for the team's weekly movie night, she's diligently chopping vegetables in the expansive kitchen when Daisy sidles up to her.

“Hey, uh, Wanda, right?” Daisy begins, a casual tone to her voice.

Wanda doesn’t even look up as she answers, “Yes?”

“Can I ask you something about Y/N?”

Wanda's grip on the knife tightens just a fraction, her posture stiffening. “I think it’s better if you ask Vision–he monitors all of us even more closely than the cameras we have everywhere.”

As the words leave Wanda's mouth, Vision, who’s been quietly tinkering with a device on the other side of the kitchen, looks up suddenly, his usually stoic face showing a hint of surprise.

“I assure you, I do no such thing,” he starts, his tone a touch defensive. “Monitoring everyone is not part of my programming or my personal interests.”

Daisy raises an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “Sure, Vis. Everyone needs a hobby, right?”

Vision clears his throat, looking somewhat flustered, “It is not a 'hobby' of mine.”

Wanda can't help but smirk slightly at Vision's discomfort, her attention briefly diverted from the awkwardness with Daisy. “It's just a joke, Vision. Relax.”

He gives a curt nod, turning his attention back to the device in his hand, though he remains noticeably quiet.

Daisy chuckles lightly, but her curiosity remains unsated. “Anyway, back to Y/N?” She prompts, looking expectantly at Wanda. “Steve mentioned that if anyone on the team knows Y/N best, it'd be you, considering you two shared a room.”

Fucking Steve.

Wanda takes a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. She finally glances up to meet Daisy's eyes, her expression guarded. “What do you want to know?”

“Is Y/N... you know, single? And what do you think of them?”

Wanda's eyebrows shoot up, her eyes sharpening immediately. She places the knife down on the countertop with more force than necessary. “Why do you ask?”

Sam whistles softly, making it obvious he's eavesdropping. “Damn, getting intense over here,” he comments with a grin, making no effort to hide his amusement.

Daisy shoots him an exasperated look, but there's a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Trying to have a conversation here, Wilson.”

Ignoring Sam's teasing, Wanda presses, “I just want to know why you're asking.”

Daisy sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. “We've been talking a lot, and I was just... curious.”

Sam, not missing a beat, chimes in, “Curious or interested?"

Daisy rolls her eyes. "Nosy much?"

Wanda reaches for the shredder and starts grating all the remaining vegetables rather aggressively.

Sam laughs before lifting the spatula to his lips to sample the soup he’s making. “Just trying to get the lay of the land.”

“Why don't you focus on your soup, Sam?” Wanda retorts, though her eyes never leave her task.

Sam smirks, catching the hint of jealousy in Wanda's tone, and decides to push just a little further. “You know, Wanda, if you have something to say about Y/N, now's the time.”

Wanda's eyes flash red for a brief moment. Sam holds his hands up in mock surrender, but the smirk doesn’t leave his face.

Daisy looks between them in confusion. 

Taking a moment, Wanda sets the shredder aside and faces Daisy squarely. “Y/N almost risked their life to save mine. If you're looking for a testament to their character, well, actions like that are rare to come by.”

“And as for Y/N’s relationship status,” she continues, a bit reluctantly, “I believe they're single.”

Daisy's gaze becomes gentle, a dreamy quality entering her eyes. “That's... truly heroic,” she whispers, almost to herself. Wanda feels a sudden urge to throw up.

She then flashes a grateful smile at Wanda. “Thanks, Wanda. That means a lot coming from you.”

Wanda merely nods before clearing her throat. “Well, now that that's settled, could someone pass the salt?”

It’s Sam who hands it over, but not before saying, “Try not to add too much. We wouldn't want dinner to be as salty as some people's moods.”

-

Tony is, unsurprisingly, first in line, eagerly eyeing the roasted vegetables. “If the taste is half as good as the smell, we’re in for a treat tonight.”

Steve chuckles, replying, “I think we can trust Wanda and Sam's culinary skills by now.”

Natasha and Clint are engrossed in a deep conversation about an upcoming mission, while Bruce discusses some new upgrades with Tony. Vision, for his part, is explaining to Peter the intricacies of using Wanda's food processor.

As the chatter continues, Wanda moves to retrieve the centerpiece of the dinner: a golden-brown roasted chicken. She feels everyone's eyes on her, awaiting the moment the chicken will land on the table. However, her gaze is involuntarily drawn to the table where she sees you and Daisy sitting next to each other, laughing about something. 

In that split second of distraction, her fingers graze the scalding metal rack of the oven. A sharp hiss escapes her lips, the sudden pain evident on her face. Dropping the oven mitts, she mutters a quick “Excuse me” and dashes off to the nearest bathroom, intending to run the burnt area under cold water.

You notice her quick exit and, after a brief moment of hesitation, quietly follow her. As you near the bathroom, the sound of running water reaches your ears.

Without knocking, you enter. Wanda is cradling her hand, trying to soothe the burn. 

Your voice is soft with concern when you speak, “Wanda? Let me help.”

Wanda quickly pulls her hand away from the water, her eyes widening as she registers your arrival. “I’m fine,” she snaps, her posture tensing further. Water drips from her fingers onto the porcelain sink.

You take a hesitant step forward, your intent clear. “I can heal it. Just let me—”

“I said I'm fine,” she interrupts, her voice sharp. “Sometimes it's good to feel pain, you know, heal the natural way. Not everything needs a... quick fix.” She glances pointedly at you, an obvious jab at your abilities.

Your eyes narrow slightly at her comment, but you keep your emotions in check. “It's not about the quick fix, Wanda. It's about helping someone in pain, even if that someone is stubbornly pushing everyone away.”

She sighs, her defenses visibly waning. “Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be out there with Daisy?”

“What’s Daisy got to do with any of this?”

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek, averting her gaze. Even if she has an answer ready, she's not sure she'd want to voice it.

With a sharp exhale, your frustration bubbles over. 

“Fine,” you say tersely, pointing at her burned hand. “Let it scar then. See if I care.” 

Moving swiftly, you leave the bathroom without waiting for her response.

Wanda stays there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths and trying to steady herself. When she finally decides to rejoin the team for dinner, she notices the empty spot beside Daisy. You're gone, probably to your room.

Regret coils in her stomach. She didn’t mean for things to escalate like that, especially when all you were trying to do was help. 

-

She hasn't felt this anxious in a long time.

It reminds her of the days after she lost everything that truly mattered.

Checking that everyone is probably asleep, Wanda takes a deep breath and heads towards your room. Her mind races, trying to figure out what to say, how to apologize. 

She stops in front of your room and then gently raps on the door, listening intently for any sign of movement inside. “Y/N?” she calls out hesitantly. She doesn't expect the door to open immediately, and when it does, it's not you who answers. 

Instead, Daisy stands there, looking a little startled too.

“You…” Wanda hisses slowly before she can catch herself.

Daisy quickly registers Wanda's reaction and raises her hands in a placating manner. “Oh, right. Sorry, this must be weird. My apartment had a plumbing issue, a flood actually. Since I'm joining the team permanently, I made a request for a new room. But until that's sorted, Y/N offered me theirs.”

Wanda's insides churn with a jealousy she can't quite place, but she masks it swiftly, painting on a polite smile. “And where's Y/N now?” she asks, her voice deceptively calm.

Daisy bites her lip, appearing somewhat embarrassed. “They're asleep,” she admits. Stepping aside, she reveals you, nestled in a makeshift bed on the floor, blankets arranged around you for some semblance of comfort.

Wanda's eyes soften at the sight of you, but her heart also tightens in anger. You've given up your bed, your comfort, for Daisy. You’re doing for someone else what she’s done for you. It feels like an invasion of something she thought she exclusively shared with you.

Daisy shifts, catching Wanda's stare. “They wouldn’t listen to me,” she explains, a bit embarrassed. “Kept saying it's fine and that I should take the bed.”

Wanda just nods, a tightness in her voice. “Sounds like them, alright.”

Trying to ease the tension, Daisy adds, “Y/N always talks about you, you know. In a good way. Maybe you two should just... chat.”

Wanda raises an eyebrow, a little surprised. “They do?”

Daisy chuckles. "Yeah. Anyway, I'll leave you to it. Night."

“Night,” Wanda murmurs, still looking at you.

Once Daisy’s gone, Wanda hesitates. Part of her wants to barge in, shake you awake, and have that long overdue talk. Instead, she absentmindedly touches the burn on her hand, its sting a reminder of how you tried to help her earlier. It's jarring to think that you, even after avoiding each other for days, were ready to heal her.

And damn, it hurts. Not the burn, but the realization of how much she misses you. 

-

Wanda doesn’t get any chances to talk to you for the next several days because you–along with Natasha, Daisy and Vision are called away to a mission. 

Each day you’re away, Wanda feels the weight of anxiety pressing down on her chest. She can’t help but worry, replaying every worst-case scenario in her mind. She catches herself multiple times pacing by the control room, asking for updates, or staring out at the landing pad, waiting for the quinjet to return.

When word finally arrives that the quinjet is en route back to the compound, Wanda finds herself in the hangar before she’s even consciously made the decision to be there. Steve stands next to her, his face betraying his own relief. A few other team members have gathered too, all awaiting the return of their comrades.

The roar of the quinjet’s engines fills the air as it makes its descent. As the ramp lowers, Wanda's eyes scan the disembarking figures, and they lock onto yours. You look a little worn, a fresh bruise marring your cheek—oddly enough, one you've chosen not to heal. But beyond that, you seem okay.

Her heart swells with relief.

You seem to pause for a second, looking genuinely shocked to see Wanda amongst those waiting. For a moment, your eyes lock. She offers a tentative smile, full of hope, and it seems you're about to approach her. But then, as you step further out of the quinjet, Daisy appears at your side. The way she comfortably intertwines her fingers with yours sends a sharp pang through Wanda's heart and her smile falters.

Steve claps his hands together, attempting to reign in the team's focus. “Alright, debrief. How did it go?”

Natasha, with a deadpan expression, shoots back, “Could’ve gone smoother if you’d packed me a flask, Rogers.”

Steve smirks, shaking his head. “Alright, Romanoff. Just don’t make us wait too long.”

As you approach Wanda, your expression gives away nothing. “Hey,” you murmur, voice neutral. But Wanda’s eyes have darted down to where your hand is connected with Daisy's. Her eyes harden, and when she meets your gaze, they’ve become unreceptive.

Misreading the tightening of Wanda's features as coldness, your frown deepens. You'd thought some time apart might've helped ease the strain between you two, but guess not.

Just as you're about to say something to her–maybe an explanation as to why you’re holding Daisy’s hand–Daisy gives a playful tug on your hand, breaking the moment. “Come on,” she chirps. “Let's head in. I heard there's pizza, and I intend to eat more slices than you.”

You allow Daisy to pull you along, throwing one last glance at Wanda over your shoulder, wishing she'd say something–anything. 

But Wanda's back is already turned to you. Her posture rigid, fists clenched at her sides, the knuckles going white. In that moment, Wanda is making a silent vow to herself, one of emotional self-preservation.

She walks away, her heels clicking against the ground with each firm and decisive step. Deep down, the walls she'd slowly been dismantling brick by brick in the face of a potential future with you were being hastily reconstructed. 

She’s survived worse things.

Of course, she’ll survive you.

[verysanebsdfan]

𝑲𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒂 𝒁𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒄𝒌 𝒙 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒂!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Request: And also one where reader is very similar to misa misa from death note !! She's a famous model w kira as her nen and she joined the Hunter to try and see what else she could do!!

Hii!! This is a story to a second part of this request, I hope you like it.

Also i havent watched Death note since like 3 years ago so it may not be all so accurate, the personality i mean !!

tw: mentions of murder and manipulation, headcanons so if dont like it dont read, okay it feels more like a story but kshssksksj

Its longer than i like and expected

MASTERLIST!!

Idk if i understood it correctly, but your nen will be an entity of sorts, Kira, who owns something like a death note but the person doesnt have to die, they can just do whats written in it and then go on with living.

────୨ৎ────

ꨄ︎ Getting tired of your modeling career was something to be expected, the toxic beauty standarts were very annoying, also having people behind your back constantly was just draining, so you ran away.

ꨄ︎ You being an exceptional child learned nen at a very young age, thanks to your nen teacher, so you figured you could expand your abilities and go to take the Hunter exam, I mean people say it's hard right?

ꨄ︎ Upon arrival you immediately notice some interesting people, so far, mostly number 44, who's aura is very interesting, however its pink!! How cute !!

ꨄ︎ Waiting for some time bored you very much, but more interesting people started appearing like number 301, 99 or 294. Only 301 and 44 appeared to know nen though !!

ꨄ︎ How boring !!

ꨄ︎ You bet you could fight and win against all of those people, using your nen ability of course, you might be wondering why did you choose an ability like this, well it is really simple. In the world of modeling and acting, you need people to like you and do what you want, whether it's to not go through some stuff you don't want to, or to higher your pay, maybe just living comfortably. But from whatever point of view you look at it, it's useful.

ꨄ︎ Waiting for few more hours, and being in a room with other 404 applicants was honestly suffocating. You could basically cut through the tension in the air. Everyone was so tense, guys chill it won't be that hard !!

ꨄ︎ I mean i am sure it is the stares that everyone is giving Tonpa, who is currently trying to poison some newbies, number 403, 404 and 405. How interesting...

ꨄ︎ Being led through a very long tunel was also very interesting, i mean, the people here are dropping like flies, losers.

ꨄ︎ But being approached by a green kid who told you that you look strong was something you didn't expect, you thought you hid your strenght well !!

ꨄ︎ But he was fun to hang out around, so you stayed, getting joined by another kid your age later on, number 99, one of the interesting people here.

ꨄ︎ And that is when your life finally started getting interesting.

(why is the beggining longer than headcanons i usually do ;-;)

ꨄ︎ Exploring the airship with the two boys made it really interesting, especially hearing their bacstories, why is everyone here fatherless or has a toxic family...including you, the stare you got from Killua when you told them your parents were assassinated was wild...He might know, you figured, but of course it couldn't have been him, he is not strong enough for that yet...

ꨄ︎ Then getting separated from them in the third and partially fourth phase too was very boring, it was so quiet without them...

ꨄ︎ After you passed the exam, and went to save Killua from his crazy family, you were all together again, and training to get stronger. Mostly on the punching bags in the Heavens Arena...uhhh Humans

ꨄ︎ Unfortunately many people have recognized you, since you were a model and acted in a lot of movies, how annoying, so Killua started being protective over you, subconsciously though. (too ooc?)

ꨄ︎ Months after that, while you guys were on the Whale Island, Killua decided to tag with you and Gon while he finds his dad and you find the person who murdered your parents. Sweet.

ꨄ︎ During the Yorknew arc having been recognized by even more people was so annoying, i mean you couldn't even partake in Kurapikas plan !! At least not like Gon and Killua, what a shame...you could just write some stuff and the boss of the Phantom Troupe could come to you !!

ꨄ︎ Either way, surviving all this while slowly catching feelings was very good. As you got into the game, Greed island and later reunited with your nen teacher, Bisky, everything seemed ideal, at least until you had to leave, it was so fun here !! No anoying 12 year olds fawning over Killua when you walked on the street, it is wrong to kill children after all, no perverted men eyeing you up and down- that was a lie, but still... it is wrong to kill people in general but the latter was fun

ꨄ︎ And now you had to fight some stupid BUGS ?! no.

ꨄ︎ Of course you will, you cannot just leave them, i mean the only thing stopping you are your feelings, but that doesn't change anything...

ꨄ︎ Of course after all this mess you were brought into, you weren't able to confess either. It hurts. It really does, but Gon...he is in bad condition so you gotta set the priorities straight.

ꨄ︎ In the end, Gon met his father, and you met Alluka, how cute, blurting out that you love her brother wasn't so cute, but hey, she supports you !!

ꨄ︎ Telling Killua that you love him right before leaving to kill his older brother who killed your parents wasnt cute either. But hey who cares right ?? We only live once, and you want to kill Illumi Zoldyck you might not live much longer, what do you have to lose.

ꨄ︎ Him trying to stop you wasn't very flashy either...

ꨄ︎ But you cannot leave him now can you ?? Illumi will wait, after all, who can kill him if not you ??

────୨ৎ────

I don't like it a a a a

[httplilyyy]

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐄 || 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐎

pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: in which you had fallen for a lie

warnings: smut, fingering (r giving), oral (r giving), fluff, angst, hurt without the comfort & swearing | minors dni

word count: 7.7k

a/n: it's a bit rushed but i hope you enjoy!

woso masterlist

You were known as being the reserved type. Much preferring to be introverted than extroverted.

When you joined Arsenal it came as a huge shock to you. Everyone on the team was outgoing and full of energy. Whereas you would much rather be by yourself doing some small drills or at home with a nice cup of tea sitting on your sofa and watching a movie.

Although, parts of that changed. You had wished to be with someone. A certain someone.

And that person was none other than Alessia Russo. The other newbie on the team.

From the moment you met her, you couldn't tear your eyes away. To entranced by her pure beauty and stunning smile. You had fallen hard.

You, of course, never said anything about these feelings and kept them to yourself. Too afraid that you’d ruin the friendship that you have with her. Constantly telling yourself that it was better to have her in your life as a friend rather than not at all.

You had gotten to know her after being paired with her for some drills during training and due to this, the two of you had grown close as well as your feelings.

International football was now here and it was your first time being called up to the England squad. After your outstanding season at your old club, all eyes were on your move to Arsenal, especially Sarina’s.

She was immensely impressed with how you’d come into your own and grown as a player and she knew you were someone she wanted on the England squad.

Walking into St George’s Park for the first time, you couldn't contain the anxious butterflies that flew around your stomach. Keeping to yourself, you made your way to the pitch, picking up a ball along the way.

Not knowing how long you had been by yourself, the sound of people chatting seemed to get closer and closer. The chatter, however, seemed to come to a stop when they saw you.

Pinging another ball into the top corner, you took a little break to get some water. Turning around, you were met with the whole team.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t a newbie.” Ella Toone’s voice cut through the silence.

“Go easy on them, Ella. They’re only ickle.” Mary teased, messing up the midfielder’s hair.

“Hey, y/n.” Alessia smiled, noticing your discomfort with all the attention.

“Uh, hi.” You greeted, waving slightly.

“I see you’ve all greeted our newest member.” Sarina called out, sending you a warm smile.

After introducing yourself to everyone properly, you were all split up into little groups for training. It was nothing heavy, just a few passing, dribbling and shooting drills to get you warmed up.

As training went on, you felt more and more a part of the group but you didn’t let yourself be fully open, opting to hold back. You weren’t sure why, perhaps it was the nerves.

Before you knew it, Sarina called you all in for a run down of how she thought training went and ushered you all to the showers. Although you were happy with your first session with the girls, you held back, waiting for everyone to go before you.

Each of the girls were busy doing their own thing when you made your way into the locker room, placing your bag on the side, away from the hustle and bustle of the room.

Quickly showering and getting into some clean clothes you were about to leave when you heard someone call out your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” You hummed, turning round to see everyones eyes on you.

“Are you doing anything later?” Alessia asked.

“Um, probably just watching a movie, why?” You wondered, rubbing the back of your neck, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet.

“Seeing as you aren’t doing anything, come hang out with us?” Alessia said, gesturing to everyone in the room.

“Oh, uh, I don’t- I dont really-”

“C’mon, It’ll give you a chance to get to know us better.” Katie spoke up.

“I- um- I-” you let out a nervous chuckle, “maybe you could just come to mine instead?”

Out of all the things you could’ve said, you said that. You well and truely wanted to kill yourself right there and then. The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them and now you wanted the ground to swallow you up whole.

“Can your house fit all of us?” Millie asked with astonishment.

You didn’t trust yourself to speak again so you settled with a small nod.

“Okay, sugar daddy.” Georgia teased.

“That's me.” You mumbled as a small laugh died in your throat.

“Well, send us your address and we’ll be there.” Keira smiled.

“I- uh, don’t have your numbers?” You said, cursing yourself for still being nervous.

“I can send it to you all.” Alessia said, saving you from all the attention.

With a small confirmation nod from you, everyone seemed to filter out of the room one by one. Thinking everyone had left, you sat in your cubby, placing your head in your hands and letting out a long sigh.

After taking a few seconds to yourself, you finally looked up, surprised to see Alessia still standing there, playing with her fingers.

“Less?” You questioned gently. “I thought you’d left.”

“I actually came to ask for a favour.” She said sheepishly.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Could you possibly give me a ride to yours?”

“Yeah, of course.” You smiled, your heart pounding just a little quicker than normal at the thought of more time with Alessia.

“You sure? It’s just that I came with Ella but she’s seemed to have left already.”

“I promise, it’s no trouble at all. Just let me quickly pack everything away.”

In record time, you packed your bag and got everything ready. Although you were really good friends with Alessia, you couldn't help how your heart thundered in your chest.

Walking out of the training ground and into your car, you placed your bag on the back seat before finally getting into the front and starting up your car.

“Do you want the aux?” You questioned, handing her the little wire.

Alessia smiled and whispered a small ‘thank you’ before plugging her phone in and turning on a random song from her playlist.

Looking in your mirrors you made sure it was safe to reverse out of your spot. You placed your arm around the back of Alessia’s chair and looked over your shoulder and out of the back window, using one hand on the steering wheel to reverse.

Alessia watched you carefully, the way your hand manoeuvred around the steering wheel effortlessly and how as you looked out the back window your side profile was on full display.

After pulling out of your parking spot, you made your way back to your house. The journey back was in silence, a comfortable silence, that was occasionally broken by the two of you singing to different songs.

You could only hope to god you wouldn't crash your car. Her perfume was intoxicating, it was slowly driving you insane and every time you looked over at Alessia all you wanted to do was pull over and give her a kiss.

Gripping your steering wheel with both hands, your knuckles turned white at the sheer force you were using. Trying to swallow the lump in your throat you kept reminding yourself that Alessia could never like you back. How could she? You were you and Alessia was… Well she was Alessia. Your Lessi. The girl of your dreams.

Even being in close proximity to her sent your mind reeling. All these different scenarios popped in your head and you could only dream for them to be real.

“You okay?” Alessia questioned, placing her hand on your thigh.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” You said, clearing your throat as you internally panicked, eyes widening as you stared at the road ahead.

“You’re usually talkative.” Alessia shrugged, taking her hand off your thigh and you immediately missed the feeling.

“Just a little nervous.” You mumbled as your fingers tapped absentmindedly on the steering wheel.

“There’s no need to be nervous, is it about later?”

“Yeah, I don’t usually have people over.” You said, shuffling in your seat, trying to concentrate on the road.

“You can always cancel.”

“I think it’s a little late for that.” You mumbled, pulling up to your driveway and seeing multiple cars parked on the front.

“And is it a little late to tell you that I also invited someone else over?” Alessia questioned sheepishly, cautiously looking over at you as you put your car into park.

“Oh? And who is this someone?” You teased, trying to ignore the pang of your heart when you pictured Alessia with someone.

“It's not like that,” Alessia said, huffing out a laugh as she smacked your shoulder, “you actually know her.”

“I do? What’s their name?”

“You can figure it out.” Alessia said as she got out of the car, enjoying teasing you.

“Okay… but would it kill you to tell me who this person is?” You asked, scrambling out of the car yourself.

“Nope, but I'm still not telling you.” Alessia said in a sing-song voice.

“Oh come on, just tell me.” You begged, rounding your car to shake her shoulders.

“You’ll find out soon.” Alessia laughed, causing your face to light up at the sound.

“Or you could tell me now.” You said, not letting go of her.

“Am I really that bad that you wouldn't tell them about me?” A voice said, making you turn around.

“Oh! Um, hi.” You said, giving them a smile which turned out to be more of a grimace.

“I’m Leah, since Alessia decided to not tell you who I was.” They said, a warm smile on their face.

“Y/n, uh my name is Y/n.” You said, picking the skin on your fingers.

“I heard you’re the new kid on the block.” Leah said, trying to start a conversation.

“Uh-huh. That's me.” You said, giving an awkward smile to the blonde.

“Sorry that I haven’t seen you around, at Arsenal as well. I’ve been doing some rehab for my knee.” Leah explained, pointing down at her leg.

“T-that’s okay.” You said, not really knowing what else to say.

“You’re cute.” Leah said, before going over to the rest of your teammates.

“Okay, what was that?” Alessia chuckled, walking up to your side and nudging you with her elbow.

“I uh I don't know. I think I malfunctioned.” You said quietly, not taking your eyes off Leah.

“I saw.”

“Was it bad?” You asked, turning to Alessia with a slight grimace.

“Not at all.” Alessia smiled softly.

“I also think you forgot to mention that the person you invited over is Leah fucking Williamson.” You mumbled out, looking back at the defender.

“That’s on me.” Alessia chuckled, patting you gently on the shoulder as she walked over to where everyone was.

Shaking your head, you tried to get rid of all your thoughts and taking one last deep breath you went to greet everyone.

A few hours went by since you said your ‘hellos’ and after many slices of pizza and drinks you had all gathered around in your living room. You were all engaged in a conversation with each other. Talking about anything and everything.

At first it was teasing Alessia for being so clumsy or how Ella was so loud. Even going on to talk about how Rachel and Millie were the troublesome duo and an honourable mention to Mary’s tiktok.

Then it was how you were inexperienced in pretty much everything.

“But how?!” Lucy exclaimed, raising her hands in the air to slap them back down onto the sofa.

“I don't know.” You mumbled with a shug, looking down at your fingers.

“But everyone has had sex.”

“Apparently not y/n.” Lauren piped up with a laugh.

“Lauren.” Alessia said, sending the girl a warning look.

“What have you done then?” Alex questioned, leaning her elbows on her knees.

“Uh, I've kissed someone?”

“Was that a statement or a question?” Jordan chuckled good heartedly.

Alessia looked over at you and noticed your leg bouncing up and down at an increased rate. The striker desperately wanting to say something, but not knowing what.

“I uh-” You struggled, not liking how everyone's eyes were on you. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and it felt that everything around you was spinning.

“Okay I think that's enough.” Esme said from beside you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You looked over at her and gave a grateful smile but the questions didn't falter. Your heart pounded even quicker and you suddenly felt as if you were trapped.

"I have to use the bathroom." You said quickly, coming up with an excuse.

You placed your drink on the coffee table as you stood up and slipped off down the hallway.

Shutting the bathroom door behind you quietly, you let out a sigh, tension melting from your body as you leaned against the door.

“C’mon y/n, pull yourself together.” You muttered to yourself, moving over to the sink.

You placed both hands on the side, letting your head hang low as you listened to the faint laughs from your friends coming from the other room.

“Stop being a loser and have some fun.”

You tried to give yourself a pep talk but nothing seemed to work. You were snapped out of your haze once you heard a knock on the door.

“Just a minute.” You panicked, pretending to flush the toilet and wash your hands.

Opening the door, you stepped back out into the hallway and came face to face with Leah.

“Oh! Hi!” You stuttered out, hands stuffing themselves in your pockets.

“Hey!” Leah chuckled, “I was going to head out with the others but I wanted to say thank you for a great time.”

“Oh, how long was I in there?” You mumbled to yourself, looking back at the bathroom behind you.

“Not long, don’t worry.” Leah smiled, placing her hand on your arm.

“That’s uh that’s good then.” You said, stumbling over your words at her touch, feeling your body freeze.

“I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yeah, for sure, yeah, definitely.”

“Okay, cool. See you later y/n.”

Walking back into your living room, you spotted Alessia cleaning up all the mess that was thrown around the place. The blonde noticed your presence and looked up at you with a smile before going back to cleaning.

Wordlessly walking up to her, you gently took the rubbish from her hands before putting them in the bin in the kitchen. The two of you continued to clean so your place was practically spotless.

Once you were both done, you flopped onto the sofa, sitting shoulder to shoulder but still not saying a word. Fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you looked around at everything in the room but Alessia.

“Is it alright if I stay the night?” Alessia wondered, causing you to finally look at her.

“Y-yeah, of course.” You nodded, getting up from the sofa and holding your hand out for the blonde to grab.

Alessia took your hand without question and let you guide her into your bedroom. She sat on the edge of your bed whilst you rummaged around to find something for her to wear. Picking out some old joggers and a top, you handed the items of clothing to her.

She gracefully took them, getting up from the bed to place a soft kiss to your cheek before walking into the en suite to get changed. You stood rooted to your spot, face beet red and eyes wide.

It seemed like all the air had been taken out of your lungs, Alessia had never done that and now you didn’t know what to do. It seemed foolish to be hung up on such a small thing but it sent your mind reeling.

Not realising how long you had been standing for, you turned around with haste as you heard the bathroom door open up.

“You okay?” Alessia questioned, looking at you quizzically.

“Y-yeah, thought I saw a spider.” You said, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“You’re scared of spiders?” Alessia teased, placing her clothes on top of the desk of drawers.

“Definitely not,” you mumbled, shaking your head, “nope.”

“Okay.” Alessia chuckled, shaking her head before going to lay on your bed.

“That's, erm, that's my bed.” You said, pointing weakly to the piece of furniture.

“Yes?”

“You're laying on my bed.”

“Is that okay?” Alessia wondered.

“Mhm, I’ll just sleep somewhere else.”

“You’re not sleeping in here?” Alessia questioned, looking up at you with curiosity and you could feel your palms become sweaty.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You shrugged, suddenly feeling small.

“You could never.” Alessia smiled, patting the spot beside her. “Now come here.”

“You sure?” You asked, feeling very nervous at the thought of sharing a bed with Alessia.

“Yes, now come on. I don’t bite.”

“O-okay.”

Squeezing your eyes shut for a brief second and releasing a shaky breath, you made your way onto your bed. You laid next to her, as stiff as a board, not exactly knowing what to do with yourself.

Mentally cursing yourself for being so awkward, you moved a little closer to the blonde, the latter trying not to laugh at your actions.

“Y’know Leah was right earlier.” Alessia spoke up, looking over at you.

“Huh?” You questioned, confused as to what she was getting at.

“You are cute.” Alessia said, taking matters into her own hands and moving so you were laying shoulder to shoulder.

“I-” You let out a chuckle but it died in your throat causing you to let out a small cough.

“Get some sleep.” Alessia said, trying to contain her smile and shifting to get more comfortable which led to her head resting on your chest.

Nodding, you realised she couldn't see you causing you to fight the urge to slap yourself in the face. Leaning over ever so slightly, you managed to turn the lights off and get into a comfortable position yourself.

Letting yourself drift off into a deep sleep, you prayed to the gods above that Alessia couldn't hear or feel how fast your heart was pumping.

Many hours passed and the morning sun came around all too quickly. Some time during the night, the two of you had shifted, the blonde now somewhat fully laying on top of you.

Her leg was draped over yours, tangled together and her hand had made its way up your top, resting on your stomach, just above the band of your joggers. Her head had moved into the crook of your neck and you could feel each breath she let out, the action causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

You were completely trapped by her, not that you had anything against it, in fact you couldn’t think of anything better than the moment you were in right now. Assuming Alessia was still asleep, your fingers began to mindlessly trace shapes on her arm that was slung around your waist.

“That feels nice.” Alessia mumbled, hiding her head further into your neck.

She felt you freeze underneath her, your ministrations coming to a halt and all of a sudden the situation became too much to bear. Your position seemed very domestic, and if the two of you were caught like that everybody would immediately assume you were a couple.

A couple. You could feel your heart crack at the thought. Staring up at the ceiling, you placed a hand behind your head, the other trapped underneath Alessia’s body.

You don't know how long you were looking at the ceiling for until you felt Alessia’s body shift beside you. The blonde moved so she was now leaning on her arm, her body hovering over yours. She looked at you questioningly, but you didn't say anything.

“Are you doing anything today?” Alessia asked quietly.

“No, why?” You responded softly, still looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you want to do something? Like go see a movie?” Alessia questioned.

“Of course,” you smiled, finally turning to look at her, “but may I ask why?”

“Can’t friends go see a movie with each other?”

“They can.” You said, nervously looking around the room.

“Okay, what movie do you want to go see?”

“Not sure, you?”

“What's new out?”

“Um, let me see.” You mumbled, reaching over to your bedside table and grabbing your phone.

Alessia laid herself down again, her head resting on your shoulder as she watched you scroll through your phone.

“What about the nun 2?”

“Absolutely not, I hate horrors.” Alessia said firmly, shaking her head.

“C’mon, I'll hold your hand.” You teased.

“Tempting,” Alessia said, trailing off before ultimately nodding her head, “okay fine, but only if you hold my hand.”

“I promise to not let go.” You smiled, quickly booking the tickets.

You both decided to stay in bed for a little while longer, scrolling through your social media until it was time to get ready. You let Alessia choose some clothes from your wardrobe to get changed into and before you knew it, you were putting on your shoes and making your way into your car.

Alessia had the aux once again and you were both singing to your heart's content. On the way there you kept sneaking glances at the blonde next to you, unknown to you that she saw exactly what you were doing.

The drive to the cinema was short, not getting caught in any traffic leading you to arrive in record time. Putting the car into park, you found a space quite close to the entrance.

The two of you got out of your car, making your way to get some popcorn and drinks. You bought the food, much to Alessia’s dismay, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde in response.

It didn't take long for you to find your seats and now all you had to do was wait. You placed the popcorn in between you both and the drinks in the cup holders.

Reaching your hand out, you picked up a couple pieces of popcorn but dropped them instantly once you felt a hand on top of yours. Looking to your right, you saw Alessia’s cheeks flush.

“Sorry.” Alessia mumbled, pulling her hand back.

“Don’t be.” You smiled, your hand going back into your lap.

The screen in front of you turned on and the adverts began to play. You sat patiently waiting for the movie to start, occasionally glancing over to the blonde beside you.

As the movie began, you had your whole focus on the screen ahead. Popping the odd pieces of popcorn in your mouth you almost forgot about who was next to you.

That was until a jumpscare came up on the screen and a hand flew onto yours. Your eyes widened, looking down at the hand that was clutching your own. Turning your head to Alessia, she looked between you and the screen.

She tried to take her hand back but you intertwined your fingers together, resting them on her lap. Carefully, Alessia rested her head on your shoulder, looking up slightly, silently asking if what she was doing was okay.

That question, however, went out the window when another jumpscare came up on the screen. You bit back a smile as you felt Alessia shift in her seat beside you and hide her face in your neck.

As the movie went on, your mind seemed to drift off to somewhere else. Noticing the direction of your gaze, Alessia did a double-take to find you staring at her. At this point, you were no longer watching the film but instead, you were watching her.

“You okay?” You questioned quietly, lowering your head to make sure that you didn't disturb the people around you.

“Mhm.” Alessia hummed, burying her head into you further.

“You sure?” You asked, double checking just to make sure.

“Yeah, you're holding my hand.” Alessia smiled and you could feel her smile into your neck.

You felt a blush creep up the back off your neck to the tips of your ears, a beaming smile making its way onto your face.

The movie went on and Alessia hadn’t moved, her hand still in yours and her head still on your shoulder. As the credits played, you couldn't help the frown forming on your face. You really didn't want this time with Alessia to end.

Watching as everyone got up and left, you tried to stall the time you had with Alessia. She moved her head from your shoulder but didn't move either. Sending a small smile her way, you finally stood up, pulling Alessia up with you, not letting go of your hand.

Smiling to yourself, you left the cinema, gently swinging your hands back and forth between the two of you. You opened your car door for her, as well as closing it once she was fully in.

Running round to the drivers side, you sat down with a little huff, trying to think of something to prolong the time you had together. You tapped your fingers on the steering wheel, you mind coming up short on ideas.

“Want to get some food?” Alessia asked, fingers fidgeting in her lap.

“Yeah, sure. What do you want to get?” You questioned, turning the car on and pulling out of the space.

“Drive thru maybe?” Alessia said, looking out the window. “I don’t mind where.”

“Well, McDonalds is the closest?”

“McDonalds it is.” Alessia nodded.

Looking over at Alessia you noticed that she was still playing with her fingers, so putting on some big boy pants you reached a hand over and intertwined your fingers once again.

You drove in a comfortable silence until you pulled up to the McDonald’s. You ordered what you both wanted before paying, collecting your food and driving to find a parking space.

After finding somewhere to park, you turned the car off and dug into your food. Still, the two of you didn't say anything to each other, occasionally looking up from your food and when your eyes met you would exchange small smiles.

Once you finished your food, you waited for Alessia to finish hers. Not wanting to sit in an awkward atmosphere, you turned on the radio. ‘Rock your body’ by Justin Timberlake came on and you turned the volume up.

Dancing in your seat, Alessia laughed at your actions as she finished up the last of her food. Her eyes widened in confusion as you got out of the car, rounding to her side and opening her door.

“What are you doing?” Alessia wondered, looking up at you.

“Care for a dance?” You questioned, holding your hand out for her to take.

“What if someone sees us?” Alessia asked, hesitant but still taking your hand.

“So what?” You said, a blinding smile on your face as you danced with Alessia in the car park. “Besides, it's late, no one will care.”

“You’re an idiot.” Alessia chuckled, but dancing nonetheless.

“True.” You shrugged, spinning her around.

“I can’t believe I'm dancing in a McDonalds car park with you.” Alessia smiled, shaking her head.

“I’m full of fun ideas.” You said, coming down as the song came to an end.

“Mhm, you sure are.” Alessia agreed, stopping only inches away from you, her bright blue eyes staring into yours.

“Let’s get you home.” You rushed out, afraid that you’d do something to embarrass yourself.

“Okay.” Alessia said softly, sitting back down in your car.

“I’m just going to put the rubbish in the bin.” You mumbled, pointing to the take out bag.

“Don't die.” Alessia teased.

“Better keep your fingers crossed.” You replied with a chuckle that died in your throat.

As you walked over to the bin you slapped yourself on the forehead, muttering a small ‘idiot’ and squeezing your eyes shut.

You told yourself that you weren't going to fall for her and now look at you. She was turning you into a pile of mush.

Shaking your head, you tried to clear your mind before getting back in the car with her.

The radio was still playing but at a lower volume as you drove Alessia back to her place, your hand intertwined with hers as it rested on her lap. Pulling up to her place, you found somewhere to park.

Not really knowing what to do, you stayed in your seat, looking out the window, your eyes scanning whatever they could see.

“Thank you for today.” Alessia said, opening her door.

“Yeah, of course, it’s no problem.” You smiled, turning to look at her.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Alessia said, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting out of your car and walking off.

You groaned, smacking your forehead on the steering wheel, feeling your cheeks heat up. Contemplating for a split second, you made the quick decision to get out of your car and catch up to Alessia.

“Y/n?” Alessia questioned, as you jogged up to her side.

“Thought I could walk you to your door.” You said, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

“How chivalrous.” Alessia teased, bumping her side into yours.

“I have some perks.” You replied, with a smile.

The two of you continued to walk to Alessia’s place, neither of you said anything but it was perfect the way you were. Just being in each other’s presence was enough.

So lost in your mind, you hadn't noticed you were now standing outside Alessia’s front door.

“This is me.” Alessia said, opening her door before turning around to look at you.

“Yeah.” You trailed off, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet.

“Thank you again, for tonight.” Alessia smiled.

“Of course, I'll see you at training?”

“Yeah,” Alessia nodded, “goodnight, y/n.”

“Night.” You smiled before walking away.

Just as Alessia was about to close her door you turned back round and spoke up again.

“Hey, wait, uh-”

“Everything okay?” Alessia wondered, opening her door again.

“I don't want to get the wrong impression, but, erm, I kinda felt like this was a date? Was this a date? If not I’ll-” You said, your finger pointing back and forth between you and Alessia.

“Do you want to come in?” Alessia said, ignoring your question with a smile.

“T-that doesn’t answer my question.” You replied dumbly.

Not saying anything, Alessia reached out and took a hold of the collar of your top, pulling you into her and placing her lips on yours.

Once you pulled away, you stared at her in shock, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly parted.

“Does that answer your question?” Alessia teased, smiling at your reaction.

This time you didn't reply, pulling the blonde back into a kiss. The two of you stumbled into her apartment, kicking the door closed behind you. The sudden impact had stunned Alessia, her breath catching in her throat.

Her eyes were blown wide and she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her brain started to register what was going on and she finally kissed you back, wrapping her hands around your shoulders.

You both sighed contently into the kiss. Easily getting lost in each other’s presence.

The kiss, however, what was once full of tenderness and caution soon turned into hunger and passion. The two of you unable to keep your hands to yourselves.

“We’re friends?” You questioned breathlessly between kisses, unknowingly moving your way to her bedroom.

“Uh huh.” Alessia replied, pulling you closer.

“Friends don’t do this.”

“Definitely not.”

“But we’re still going to do this?”

“One hundred percent.”

Alessia felt her back hit a wall, the blonde gasping in response. You trailed kisses down her neck, gently nipping in different places but not enough to create marks. Stumbling your way into Alessia’s bedroom, clothes were strewn around the room.

Pushing Alessia onto her bed, you hovered over her. She placed a hand at the back of your neck, pulling you down and bringing your lips back together. You slid your tongue against her bottom lip, the blonde immediately granting your access.

Alessia moaned into your mouth, her mind fogged with nothing but thoughts of you. Your roaming hands squeezed at her thighs, trailing up to her waist. You pulled away breathlessly, looking into her eyes.

“Why’d you stop?” Alessia questioned, trying to bring you back in for another kiss.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay with this?” You replied, “I don't want to do anything too soon.”

“As sweet as you are. If you don’t fuck me now, we are seriously going to fall out.” Alessia said, rocking her hips against your thigh.

“Oh! O-okay.” You rushed out as your cheeks heated up.

Moving your hand to rest beside Alessia’s head the other trailed its way down to where she desperately needed you the most. With one final look of confirmation, you slid two fingers inside her.

You nearly moaned at the sounds Alessia was making beneath you and assuming you were doing a good job, you curled your fingers.

“Fuck y/n.” Alessia whispered through heavy breaths, moving her hips with the rhythm of your fingers.

Gulping back your pleasure, you focused solely on Alessia. You watched her every move, seeing the way her body reacted to your touch. She bit her lip, suppressing her from letting out any moans.

“Hey, let me hear you.” You said, pulling her lip from her teeth.

Alessia’s skin was tingling, goosebumps spreading like a wildfire as her orgasm approached with fierceness. Her hand moved down to your forearm, nails digging into your skin as her hips instinctively bucked at your touch.

You pressed your thumb down onto her clit, relishing in the way her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head at the action before coming back to focus on you.

“Shit, I'm gonna come!”

“Yeah?” You whispered, moving down close to her ear, “come for me.”

Her hips began to rock almost of their own accord along with the lazy circling of your thumb over her clit. Her head was thrown back and her hair was stuck to her forehead. Sweat dripped down her neck as she tried to chase after her high.

You could feel her beginning to clamp around your fingers, a noticeable tremble to her body, it was obvious she was close and with one final curl of your fingers and a firm press of your thumb against her clit, she arched her back off the bed. Her eyes screwed shut, body shuddering as her orgasm washed over her.

You pulled your fingers out of her, Alessia let out a small whine at the loss. Kissing her softly, you began to trail down from her lips to her jaw, neck, collarbone and then to the valley of her breasts.

“You okay?” You asked, pressing feather-like kisses across her chest.

“Yeah.” Alessia nodded, trying to catch her breath.

“Good.” You replied, trailing your kisses down further, stopping just above her pubic bone.

You nipped and sucked along her thighs, leaving small marks here and there. As much as you were enjoying creating hickies, only for you to see, Alessia was getting impatient.

She bucked her hips, hoping to hurry you up. Trying to hide a smirk, you pressed a few teasing pecks to her clit. A sudden ripple of pleasure soared through Alessia’s body. She squeezed your head between her legs, one of her hands tangled itself in your hair whilst the other went to play with her breasts.

Alessia’s eyes fluttered shut as she succumbed to the pleasure she was feeling. She moved one of her legs over your shoulder, hips moving in time with your tongue to chase her building orgasm.

When you began to feel her clenching around your tongue, you picked up your pace, only stopping to whisper breathy praises into her, using your thumb to stimulate her clit and it wasn’t long before Alessia’s body was convulsing around your head, her legs shaking as you rode her through her orgasm.

Kissing your way back up to Alessia’s face, you propped yourself up with one arm, the other, brushing strands of hair out of Alessia’s face. Taking in her appearance, her eyes were dilated, her cheeks coated pink and her lips were swollen.

“You okay?” You questioned, looking down at Alessia’s blissed out state.

“Yeah, just calming down.”

“Take as long as you need.” You smiled, placing a kiss on her hairline.

“Are you sure you haven’t done that before?” Alessia teased, trying to regulate her breathing, mentioning to the other night.

“Uh- yeah, I kinda went with the flow.” You blushed, hiding your face in your hand.

“It was perfect.” Alessia said, leaning up to kiss you softly.

“I'm glad, um, let me get you some water-”

“It’s fine, just lay with me.” Alessia said, holding you from going anywhere.

“Let me, at least, clean you up-”

“Y/n, just lay with me.”

“Okay.” You smiled, getting into a comfortable position and feeling Alessia cuddle up into your side.

The two of you didn't say anything, enjoying the tranquillity of the moment which led to the two of you drifting off to sleep.

The next couple of weeks flew past in a blur. After waking back up the following morning, you and Alessia were inseparable. You went out on every date imaginable, the two of you growing closer and closer.

You were falling when you met her but now you had landed and she had caught you. On the sixth date you asked her to be your girlfriend and to your surprise, she said yes. You hadn’t told your teammates nor any family members as you were new to all of this.

You wanted to take it slow and Alessia was quick to agree. But that went flying out the window when you let it slip that you loved her. Although the two of you hadn’t been together for long, among the pleasure one night, soft ‘I love yous’ were sighed out into the air.

Since you had been friends before, you didn't want to do anything to ruin what you had. The two of you were inseparable and you felt as if nothing could break you.

The two of you didn’t care about what anyone else thought, you were in love and nothing else mattered.

But now the time had come for international football again. After proving yourself in training, Sarina had put you in the starting eleven. You couldn't be more nervous, but luckily Alessia was there to help.

“Feeling okay?” Alessia questioned, her hand intertwined with yours.

The two of you were sitting on the coach, somewhere near the back, away from the hustle and bustle at the front.

“Yeah, just in my head that’s all.” You replied with a small smile.

“Don’t be, you’ll do great today.” Alessia said comfortingly.

“Fingers crossed.” You mumbled, resting your head against the window, watching as the world went by.

It had seemed as if you were on auto pilot, getting off the coach and changing into your kit before going out to warm up. Even the warm up went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were standing in the tunnel waiting to go out and face the Netherlands.

Although it was only a friendly, this was your first time in the starting eleven and it felt as if even more pressure was on you. The back of your mind kept telling you how everyone wanted you to fail, how you were no good, even going as far as saying that you were no right for Alessia.

You only snapped out of your thoughts when the ref blew her whistle. The game was gruelling from the start, each team putting in their all from the get go. England had a few chances and the Netherlands even less. Tackles were being made left, right and centre, each of them becoming harder than the last.

Losing yourself momentarily, your mind drifted off meaning you couldn't prepare for an incoming slide tackle. You passed the ball on, milliseconds before two feet came flying at your ankles.

Tumbling to the ground with a harsh thud, you felt all the wind being knocked out of you. Rolling onto your back with a groan, you stared up at the sky, trying to collect your breath.

Your teammates gathered around you but you waved them off, promising that you were fine. The referee had called a foul, a free kick for England in the perfect spot.

The ball was placed in your hands, the pressure of scoring almost weighing you down but you tuned everything out, finding a certain pair or blue eyes amongst the chaos on the pitch.

With a soft nod from Alessia, you knew you would be alright. Taking in a deep breath, you prepared for the free kick. After the refs whistle, you took your chance. Your foot connected with the ball, soaring its way towards the back of the net.

The stadium erupted into cheers, you had scored. The game started up again and it was as if England had found a new fire from within.

The match continued, chances at both ends but eventually England came out on top.

Everyone was in high spirits, singing and dancing around the locker room. You were all washed and changed, sitting to yourself once again as you waited for Alessia to get ready.

“Hey, we’re all going out later, do you want to join us?” Ella asked, coming to sit beside you.

“Big crowds aren’t exactly my thing.” You mumbled, picking at the skin of your fingers.

“Alessia said she’s going.” Ella said, wiggling her eyebrows in your direction.

“Um, where is it you’re going?” You questioned, looking down at your feet but you could still sense the smirk on Ella’s face.

“I’ll text you the address.” Ella said, patting you on the shoulder before walking back off to her cubby.

One by one, everyone piled out of the locker room. Leaving you and Alessia alone once again. The blonde was finishing off getting ready whilst you were scrolling through your phone.

A message from Ella popped up at the top of your screen, the notification telling you where everyone would be meeting later.

“Hey.” Alessia said, stepping in front of you.

“Hi.” You smiled, turning your phone off and opening your legs so she could stand in between them.

“I told you, you were going to play well.”

“Mhm.” You hummed, leaning forward to rest your head on her stomach.

“Are you coming out later?” Alessia questioned, running a hand up and down your back.

“Probably not, I fancy watching a movie with a nice cup of tea.” You replied, sighing contently.

“Can I come over after?”

“Of course.” You said, looking up and resting your chin on her stomach.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You said, standing up to place a peck on her lips.

Time flew by once again and you had suddenly found yourself standing outside a random bar in the middle of god knows where. You tugged on what you were wearing, seeing what everybody else had on made you feel ridiculously out of place.

Taking in a deep breath, you made your way into the bar. Cheap perfume, sweat and a potent smell of alcohol flooded your senses. You scanned around the place trying to find someone you knew and to your surprise you did.

Making your way over to everybody, you stopped in your tracks once you saw Alessia. It was as if an angel had fallen from the sky and you were so lucky to be able to call her your girlfriend.

Finding a new found confidence, you walked over to her, wanting nothing more than to be in her arms.

“Did you do it then?” Lauren asked, looking up from her drink.

“Do what?” Alessia replied, looking behind her and trying to find you but you were nowhere to be seen.

“Get y/n to believe that you fell in love with her.” Lucy said as if it was obvious.

“I did but-”

“Who would've thought Alessia had it in her?” Rachel teased.

“No it's not like that-”

“Well, how are you going to break it off?” Ella questioned.

“I’m not, I-”

“That’s rough.” Mary muttered, sipping from her drink. “Making her believe that you fell in love for a dare and not breaking it off, sheesh.”

“It was a dare?”

The question that made everybody freeze.

Alessia turned around and all of a sudden everyone's eyes were on you. Stunned in silence, you could feel your heart shattering with each second passing by.

“Y/n-” Alessia started, walking towards you cautiously.

“Answer the question.” You said firmly, holding your hand out, stopping her from getting any closer.

“Baby, I-”

“Answer the question, Alessia. Did you pretend to fall in love with me for a dare?”

“Yes but-”

“Oh.”

Oh. You felt it there and then, your heart falling out of your chest and onto the floor, the blonde in front of you stepping on it a thousand times over.

“It was a dare at first but I really do love you.” Alessia said, begging for you to believe her.

“Uh huh.” You replied, nodding numbly, not being able to feel a single thing apart from pure heart break.

“You have to believe me, I love you so much, I really do.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I, erm, kind of figured.” You mumbled, eyes brimming with tears as you ignored Alessia’s pleas. “I mean, why would Alessia Russo fall for someone like me?”

“Y/n-”

“I'm- uh- I’m just gonna go.” You said, sniffling slightly as you pointed to the door.

Nodding to yourself, you looked down to the ground before leaving. Your teammates behind you desperately tried to get your attention but it was no use.

You had left, leaving everyone behind. Leaving Alessia behind. Leaving your heart behind. As, after all, you had fallen for a lie.

i know alessia would never do anything like this, it’s just for story purposes:)

[olderthannetfic]

I'm in a hobby that has the biggest following in East Asia, like really fucking huge, second place is literally Eastern Europe before the Anglosphere slinks in on third place, and one drama topic that pops up every few years through newbies on the Western front is their incredibly narrow and Western centric understanding of the world, and their static assumption about things. This seems to be a widespread issue with anyone tbh, even East Asian diaspora who's only connection to the hobby is Western. Basically any Western Westerner raised in the West might end up having that problem regardless of ethnicity.

I'll try to keep this a lot shorter than it should be but... The occasional English or insert-Western language speaking East Asian likes to join look what's going on in the West, and the topic of "East Asian as obsessed with Eurocentric features" has been a huge part of annoyance and rants for years. Especially when the infantilising and colonialism card gets pulled, aka only reason beauty standards seem to exist is because white people, and even after all this time they assume East Asians haven't developed their own beauty standards based on their own culture, or pre-colonialization culture. That every East Asian wants to be white, and when that accusation doesn't stick it's something else just as ridiculous and Western centric.

One thing I've read more rants about than is healthy, is that Western people only read beauty standards through a Western lens aimed at European features, but seems to be completely unable to accept that these standards might be set without European features. Even in creations in the hobby that do feature European themes the design of the character is often very much following East Asian beauty standards and features.

So here are the biggest features that Westerners constantly accuse of being Eurocentric, and completely ignore that these are features that are completely normal and also very much present naturally in East Asians: Pale skin. Double lidded eyes. High cheekbones. Narrow noses. There are more but I don't exactly keep a list.

When this gets brought up by newbies it's also often very cherry picked, they will not point out that these beauty standards often are mentioned in tandem with more obvious East Asian features. They'll take what can be misconstrued because those features are actually pretty universal, slap a Western lens on it, and call it Eurocentric.

Pale skin especially has gotten a few laughs and some "Do these people know how to google fashion history?" Because it's not exactly hard to mentions of pale skin being the height of beauty throughout the eras.

You could also look at those features through an Asian lens, and see how these features would naturally translate into someone who's Asian. But people just don't do that, even when it's explained to them.

--

[crisiscutie]

Outlaw Biker AU Thought/Scenario

(Based on the proposal here and the poll done by @rottenpumpkin13) A rough headcanon outline of how I think a bank heist would go with the five SOLDIER boyos and their darling. Bunch of rambling rubberish under the cut. Read the proposal for context.

The One Winged Angels MC found themselves in a dire situation when their Club Founder, Rufus, was found guilty of money laundering and other charges, resulting in a severe lack of funds and the MC losing its defense from police interference.

Rufus was sentenced to several years in prison. Who knows if he'd ever be a free man again. At least he didn't sell out the MC.

As a result, Vice President Genesis has successfully talked the morally upright Angeal into conducting a heist on a grand bank in Midgar.

Going on the job with them will be Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth and The Darling. It will be a stealth heist and will be done with the utmost caution to ensure minimal attention, as it has to be done in broad daylight. There shouldn't be too many people at the bank on that specific day, anyway.

During the heist, things were going well at first. Alarms in the bank were secretly disabled before the arrival of the crew.

Darling and Zack worked together to soothe Cloud's worries, since it was his first big score. It's a bit much for a newbie like him, but he's gotta learn one day, right?

The crew was forced to make themselves known when a security guard got snippy with Genesis and got on his nerves. So the stealth heist became a loud one.

Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth sought the money and jewels from the most secure vaults in the lower levels of the bank, eliminating any resisting guards along the way. Meanwhile, Cloud, Zack and Darling were tasked with controlling the crowd, with Darling acting as the lookout for police.

Things took a turn for the worse when Zack became overly friendly with his captives on one side of the room, and Cloud was increasingly uneasy with even the smallest of movements from his captives on his side.

Meanwhile, some guards fighting three boys in the vaults surrendered to them, but Genesis ends up killing them anyway because they recognized his identity.

He and Angeal argued vehemently, and Sephiroth barely noticed it, as his attention was solely on the mission.

On the ground level, Cloud and Zack became too distracted. Which lead to the hostages calling the cops, who arrived at the scene shortly thereafter.

Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth rushed out of the vaults to the sounds of shouting, screaming and clashing weapons, as their younger peers fought off the police.

Upon the darling being shot by a policeman, thus her sustaining a severe injury, the situation became grave for the crew members.

Cloud's rage boiled over when he saw the state of the darling, his thoughts turning to the time Tifa was wounded in a shooting that happened in their village. The other boys soon joined him, their rage contained, but just as menacing.

Zack was able to calm him down and eventually the crew were successful in creating a passageway and escaping.

The score resulted in a success. The darling, although she needed to recover in bed for a while, ended up being fine.

While the darling was recovering, the five boys were especially attentive, constantly checking on her and tending to her needs.

Zack coming by to tell her of all of his dreams and jokes from his runs that day. And he would assist in her physical therapy by having her do squats with him.

Angeal pulling up a chair to her bed, so they can vent to each other; mostly them having good laughs over their woes of having to babysit a club full of hot-blooded idiots.

Genesis and her eagerly watching through several seasons of the LOVELESS tv show based on the play. It's so bad that they hate it but think it's funny to watch it to tear it apart.

Sephiroth coming by to simply hear her voice and get cuddles maybe. Many times, they shared a quiet moment of affection, the only sound being the beating of their hearts.

Cloud showed his face around the darling of the least; He still asks about her and brings her stuff if others can't. He felt a deep pang of shame for not being able to protect her and for almost ruining the score.

Darling would have to ask him to come to her. She would comfort him during their conversations, letting him know it wasn't his fault that she got shot and that his impressive skills had saved her life, actually.

Despite the lingering uncertainty in his mind, Cloud was deeply moved by the darling's tenderness and reassuring words, and he vowed to never stop giving the scores his all.

You don't mess with anyone in the MC. You especially don't mess with The Darling (for obv reasons) and Cloud (Because he is a precious newbie baby that needs lots of love and reassurance).

[angelic-shadow]

Okay I need to rant. honestly it feels like social media is just... awful when it comes to religion, especially on twitter and instagram. i know some Christians can be nasty in real life, but it feels like on social media the 'religious wars' (as i like to call them) are even worse. i have seen: -Protestants and Catholics hating each other. -Straight up Islamophobia and Antisemitism. -A Queer Catholic posting about her praying so she doesn't get a panic attack- the comments were FULL of homophobes, and very few actual positive comments. -People mocking atheists. -Christians mocking drug users, queer folks, alt people, sex workers, sometimes other Christians for some reason??? -Someone mocking a Catholic for turning to god for her health issues (...underneath a lighthearted reel by the way) Not to mention discussion of religious trauma is mocked constantly, people calling religion a "mental illness", and some people can't even LOOK at pagans without throwing a temper tantrum.

Oh and if you're a new member of a religion (either convert, revert or simply a newbie), deconstructing, queer, drug user (Current or in the process of recovering) or anything that's looked down upon (especially by Christians), than you're either "not doing it right" or you're "not actually a part of that religion" according to some folks. And that's not even getting into the misogyny (Especially towards Muslim women). Like... seriously can we just... stop? Please? Seriously there is no need to fight with one another. We're all people, just with different beliefs. I know religion in general (Christianity especially) has issues, but that is no excuse to insult one another, gatekeep one another or even straight up harass one another. I can't force you guys to like each other but fighting and insulting each other over which beliefs are correct and which ones aren't, the right way to be religious, etc, does *nothing* and is straight up childish! There's no right or wrong way to be religious! Being bigoted does nothing. If you want people to join religion you need to stop calling random people "sinners" or "heretics" or accusing them of "following satan" or telling them to "repent" or basically anything that instills fear and shame.

And lastly, ..i think some of my fellow Christians could use these verses: 2 Timothy 2:23-24 (NIV) 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Galatians 5:14 (NIV): 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” John 7:24 (NIV) 24 Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”

Proverbs 3:30 (NIV) 30 Do not accuse anyone for no reason—when they have done you no harm.

[icharchivist]

gaah i can't help but comparing Et//ernal S//trand with DA4 and getting even more reveals about da4 and it's making my mind buzz on why i don't like it while ES is really good.

This time it's about the companions.

I thought the lack of conflict between companions was inherently detrimental to DA4, especially with how the only conflicts are pretty superfluous (Taash being mad at Emmrich because corpses ickes :( ) or, if important (Davrin & Lucanis who have, arguably, the best dynamic in game, don't @ me), has to be extra lampshaded by the main plot and therapy speaks.

Progressing through ES, i'm realizing the characters don't have a lot of conflict with one another... but they all bring the maximum of what they were here to bring up, and still have internal personal conflict.

Like Laen (a fav at this point ngl) is your local archivist who also grew up in a politically important family in a politically shrewded country. Imagine basically an Orlaisian born into a duke family very close to the Empress who just wants to archive stuff.

But it means Laen's POV on stuff is extremely anchored on their knowledge of politics and the way they have to navigate personal relationship because they don't expect people to be truthful. As such they pick up when people are acting weird, they keep notes of everything, and you can always come to them when you need infos on politics, history, or even anything about the others companions. they're very logical and methodical because they come from a background that asks them to distance themselves emotionally, but it's something you constantly feel when you interreact with them.

Compared to say, Caswynn who is a nervous wreck, who is constantly over-correcting everything to the point of driving herself mad, no matter how worried everyone are. She believes she's cursed, she's been raised in a religion that made her believe she was, so she's very neurotic and honestly OCD inclined. But she will give you all she has as the Quatermaster of the group, she will give you all the infos you can get on archives you find about merchant papers, she is constantly a source of information on stuff to progress in quests, and so when her personal, nervous breakdown happen, you really get a deep dive on why she's a perfectionist and why it is not enough for her.

Anyway i could say that about all the companions in game, but one thing striking me is that none of the companions have issues with one another. They genuinely care for each other, there's no conflict steaming from beliefs. Caswynn and Dahm aren't going to fight because their view on Religion is that different.

But at the same time there IS doubt in the group. Sev acts shady and everyone knows he's the only one of the group to have been deeply scared about coming into the Veil because he's new to the group and he never wanted to go past the Veil, and he's terrified and he wants to go back home... to the point there's suspicions he might be betraying us for the sake of finding a way back home.

As such even without hostility, without clear goal, without being manipulative either, we still have a tension in the group because you know Sev is letting his fear talk for him.

And overrall th difference is that this group has been together for a while. You are the newbie, and Sev joined a bit before you, but everyone else have experience with one another, so they probably already talked out their problems.

But despite the lack of intra-group conflict you still pretty much have all of them matter to the plot and still be shaped by their doubts, their fears, more than whatever is threatening them

And what strikes me is how it effortlessly makes me think about the world they're from. We're stuck in a veiled city that has been blocked from modern time for half a century, yet i get an idea of how the life is outside the Veil. I get a glance into politics or at least how to manage them. I have an idea of how beliefs and religions can still impact those people.

At the same time, i never doubt i NEED my companions. I NEED Laen's archivist and critical eye, I NEED Caswynn's keen merchant eye and her way to manage my inventory, ect... They're experts on their own field and they feel needed and they feel like expertss.

IDK i guess i compare everything to DA4 but it is striking me how they feel like characters because of personal issues this way.

I have a bigger crisis of faith handling Caswynn that i had talking with Bellara. I have a better understanding of mindgame politics with Laen than any of the politically inclined characters, including Lucanis who's stuck in a succession crisis. And i can actually doubt my companion's intentions with Sev while VG made sure i do none of that.

It makes me feel much more reliant on them now as a result because i know i need them to further main quests to understand what happened in this expedition.

And with Brynn being new to the gang, when Cas and Laen talk about having a bookclub with Sola and they'll give you rec, it doesn't seem isolating as Rook does, because they've had this club since before you joined the group. Eventually you may join it. It's not like you made this group happen. And it's not like the only thing that unites those characters together and no one just tells me they feel like siblings to one another because of it.

It just clues me in on some little tips that could make "mostly conflict free group dynamic" work and what does it "makes it certain that the characters feel more real and have personal issues to talk about"

And honestly i'm much more interested in eardropping on Dahm and Laen geeking about magic or Oria worrying over Cas's nervous breakdwon, or Dahm being head over heels in love with his wife Sola, than i've been eardropping on conversation about "what do we eat tonight" and any convo about griffon poop.

ES good, play ES for yourself.

[crazycatfaery]

A love letter to the Winxsource server.

This post is a gift for the wonderful people on the @winxsource server, and its amazing moderators. Sorry in advance, it has become quite a long read, heh.

At the start of 2023 I had been reading several Fate fanfics to cope with the second season's ending, and the closely followed cancellation of the show near the end of 2022.

This quickly sparked a renewed interest for writing (the last time I wrote for fun was literally more than a decade ago). Heck, seeing the art and gifs even inspired me to do fanart.

I joined a FTWS Discord server, and a few months later this led me to another Discord server where, lo and behold, several of the people who I'd been reading fics from and/or whose fanart I had enjoyed were chatting and hanging out!

At first I felt very star-struck. Many of these people had been writing, drawing, etc, for years, and here I came, a total newbie to fanfiction and fanart. Next to that, depression had dragged my self-esteem through the mud for the past few years, which had made creating a lot harder.

But everyone was and still is so incredibly nice and funny. An abundance of jokes, love and support goes around, and people are eager to help when asked. There are no stupid questions, you’re not silly for liking very specific things, and everyone respects each other.

And that takes me to the ones who organise it all.

I want to hereby thank @skloomdumpster and @fitztragedy for moderating the server, organising all of the events, providing support when needed, and just being the lovely and fun people that they are (and a shoutout to @septemberrie and @shadowofnight as well!). You are amazing, and I hope we’ll get to enjoy your server for a long time!

Now, at the risk of becoming way too sappy, and before finally releasing you from this wall of text, I want to say this:

The people in the Fate: The Winx Saga fandom, especially the Winxsource server, have given me a reason to create again. I’ve always had the hardest time to just create for myself, with my own brain kicking my butt constantly. This still happens of course, but it has become increasingly easier to keep trying, stay motivated, and to even become proud of what I create.

Knowing that, no matter what I create, there will always be at least one person who will enjoy it, has been one of the most important lessons and experiences I've had this past year.

It's as some have said before: it's like having little pocket friends that I get to speak to every day. Isn't that amazing?

Thank you, truly,

and I hereby wish you all a very happy and healthy 2024. May it be filled with an abundance of good laughs and lots more new Fate content!

Love,

Hillie

[dark9896]

Whumptober 2023

Day 25: "Maybe I'm just hopeless" [x Klaus]

Struggling, panting, all but ready to pass out from the sheer effort of standing up. This battle wasn't going in your favor... in truth, no battle has ever gone in your favor. You'd been a fang hunter for as long as you could remember but here you were still struggling to hold your own in combat.

Maybe it was how little you worked out, maybe it was your blood blade and how you'd never fully mastered it, maybe it was how much you relied on other tools and weapons before joining Libra.

Regardless, you were hardly any use in combat and it showed. Klaus always had to bail you out and that wasn't a good look. Especially not when you had an embarrassingly massive crush on the man.

How were you ever to confess if you had to constantly be saved? Were you supposed to try and convince him you were good spouse material? The man had a butler and was more than capable of taking care of a household on his own. You were barely able to boil water without it burning.

You were only kidding yourself to think there was anything Klaus might see in you... especially as he once again came to your rescue.

"[Name], are you alright?" He turned to you with the same concern as ever, "Please, allow me to--"

"I'm fine Klaus." You sighed, "The only thing seriously hurt is my pride. I'll be fine."

Despite your insistence on being okay, your body betrayed you. The ground was coming up fast, but Klaus was much faster; catching you before you could even think about how cold the concrete would be.

"I'm fairly certain your injuries are far worse than you believe them to be." Klaus shifted you around gently before lifting you, "Please, forgive me. I don't want you to further injure yourself."

Letting out a soft grunt, you submitted to the giant teddy bear. Part of you was thrilled, but that elation was extremely short-lived. You were still nothing like how you used to be... you were still a failure of a fang hunter. Despite having one of the best and most versatile blood blade styles out there.

It was maddening to be stuck in this newbie phase.

While sitting in the office; most of your wounds had been shallow, but you weren't able to move around much or be left alone; you watched the mist and clouds just beyond Klaus's desk. He was, of course, the one who'd volunteered to babysit you while you recovered.

Part of you hated it.

It felt like you really couldn't do anything on your own, not even recover without Klaus being right there. Had the two of you been dating or something, you'd understand it. But he was just being friendly with a coworker. That's all the two of you were to one another. Coworkers.

"[Name], I'm afraid I need to pick up a couple things from my house." Klaus spoke up, "Is there something you might need as well?"

"No, I'm good." Klaus was used to you sounding defeated after battles, but he was still worried about you, "I'll just be here... unless nature calls."

"Please don't strain yourself. I'll be back as soon as possible."

Klaus wondered how he could possibly help you. Perhaps he should insist on helping you train, or research your blood blade to see what might be causing it's unpredictability. Then again...

It could be your past keeping you from your full potential.

The idea haunted Klaus, he couldn't fathom being raised as a soldier and not being able to control one's own fighting abilities. It must take its toll on your mental health as well. Perhaps he should just talk to you and see if a little gentle prying could clear up whatever is going on with you.

And yet, you were quite stubborn about not saying anything. It worried Klaus to no end, he didn't want to force you after all. That would just be plain rude. But something had to give...

It was rather late, you opted to stay on the couch instead of trying to lie in a bed. At least on the couch, you'd be able to keep one leg propped up over the back. Klaus didn't think it was ideal, but he couldn't argue with the possibility that you'd injure your leg further if left to a flat bed.

In the hopes that Klaus was far enough away, you murmured under your breath, "Maybe I'm just hopeless."

An answer to a question that Klaus had long since abandoned, but one he couldn't ignore. Turning on his heel to make sure that had come from you, that it wasn't just him projecting an answer you might give in to the quiet open air.

The way your eyes shifted told Klaus exactly what he feared...

"[Name], of course you aren't hopeless." The red-haired man was kneeling beside the couch before you could protest, "You merely need a little assistance with your abilities is all. Once you're feeling better, I'd be more than happy to offer my help. After a little research and training, I'm positive that you'll get the hang of your blade. But you aren't hopeless, not by a long shot."

You remained silent, unwilling to say anything else. Trying to discuss this made you uneasy, as if you were complaining about having something not having the right color. But Klaus was more determined and stubborn than he let on, something you deeply admired until it was used against you.

"Please, let me help you." His voice had such a soft grumble to it, "Before you had a blood blade, you were one of the best hunters the Vatican had to offer. I know that once you master your newer abilities you'll become that formidable fore once again."

He leaned over, gently brushing your hair behind your ear, "Please, allow me to help you [Name]. I'd like to..."

[lionews]

I've been playing Lioden longer then most users, and I don't care that newbies beg for like, nests or ibfs in main chat, I don't care that they get 'hand-outs' as long as they aren't begging for anything expensive and/or are being excessively annoying about it. I'm just happy to see a kinder Lioden, I know a lot of older players were (and are) constantly miserable and complaining about every single thing in the game, especially . A bright-eyed newbie getting excited over being gifted an IBF is really sweet. Users (usually older user do it too) who purposefully lowball and beg for shit that they can't afford is annoying regardless of how 'new' or 'old' the player is. I'm okay with a little begging (although I can't speak for the subreddit because I'd rather drink ink then actively use reddit). It speaks to a far kinder environment then the one I joined nearly ten years ago.

.

[rogercallblogs]

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[thecoreypatrick]

Rumours

When Patty had asked Natalie to lunch, she just expected some nice girl talk. Maybe some discussion about work, but certainly not drama. Especially from the city’s most successful detective.

“All the time, Patty. I’m telling you they flirt and banter all the time. It’s starting to get ridiculous, nearly insufferable. And of course if you ask them about it they’re “just friends”. Just friends my ass Patty, they’re gonna get together. I just hope it’s soon so I don’t lose the bet.”

Patty laughs at Natalie’s ridiculous rant.

“Well why don’t you tell them that? Clearly they’re oblivious. Amanda and Ben may be detectives, but that doesn’t mean they’re sleuths of love.” She commented.

Natalie rolled her eyes at Patty’s cheesiness.

“I’m just saying-” she started, biting into her snack.

Patty looked at her, waiting patiently for her to finish.

“They’d totally fuck.” Natalie said through a mouthful of muffin. Patty misheard her, shock coating her face.

“Wait, what did you say? They’ve slept together?!” She whispered.

Natalie was taken aback, “wait what? N-”

“Natalie, Tyler’s asking for you.” Silas interrupted, “Something about ballistics? Hi Patty.” Silas smiled.

Natalie waved goodbye to Patty, “Sorry, duty calls. Thanks for lunch Patty.”

Patty smiled and waved her fingers goodbye. Little did they know, they’d had an onlooker to their discussion. As Natalie left with Silas, a receptionist from the table over leaned to Patty from her seat.

“Not to be nosy… but did I hear that right?” She asked.

“Hear which right sweetie?” Patty responded. The young woman looked around to see who was listening, “Ben and Amanda, are they really a couple?”

Now, Patty was a professional woman. A COMPOSED, professional woman. She worked the hard 25/8 and was married to the most infuriating police chief of all time. She considered herself to have many virtues, many personality traits to be proud of. But the tendency to gossip? Maybe that could be her one vice.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘couple’,” Patty confessed, “but certainly from what I’ve heard there’s something there.”

“Oh my gosh,” the woman said scooting her chair closer to Patty, “I’ve seen it too. They consistently sit at lunch together; always in the gym together; their quiet banter at meetings… but I had no idea they were sleeping together!” She quietly exclaimed. Patty smirked devilishly, “don’t forget, their living quarters are on the same floor!”

The young woman jovely gasped, she began to say something else when her wrist watch blared an alarm. “Ugh, breaks over. But thanks for the gossip Mrs. Preston, I swear the secret is safe with me!” She cleared up her things before toddling off, Patty chuckling as she directed her attention back to her salad.

As the young woman left the tables and headed towards the elevator, she pulled out her phone. Dialing quickly she made a call, “Hey, Alicia? You’re not going to believe this.”

~

Ben sat in Tyler’s lab, anxiously waiting for this fix to be over. “You know, your fidgeting is actually preventing me from finishing. So maybe if you calmed down about your lovebug you would get to see her sooner.” Tyler snarked.

“What? I don’t have a lovebug. That’s not even the right way to use it.”

“Whatever,” Johnson grumbled, “Amanda is busy with Barton anyways for gun certification, she’ll probably go for lunch the same time you do.”

“I didn’t say anything about Amanda,” Ben grumbled.

Tyler laughed, “You didn’t need to. I’m not an idiot, and even if I was I’m not blind Braxton.”

This wasn’t the first time Ben had heard talk like this. Amanda and Ben were constantly having to defend their relationship to everyone in the compound. It had started back when Amanda and Ben both joined the squad, they bonded over being newbies in an already-set hierarchy. And from that, blossomed talk of a ‘spark’ apparently everyone had noticed but Amanda. Us, Ben corrected himself, everyone but us.

Ben rolled his eyes, “We’re just friends. I’ve told you countless times Johnson.”

“Oh ho ho, that’s not what I’ve been hearing. I’m pretty sure the jig is up Braxton, or whatever you old timers say.” Tyler retorted.

Ben was confused, “what do you mean?”

Tyler looked at him, unimpressed but amused by Braxton’s innocence. “Have you not heard what everyone’s been saying?”

Ben was starting to get annoyed, was there some inside joke he wasn’t a part of? This couldn’t have been different from the normal; nothing had developed in his and Amanda’s relationship, nothing he was aware of anyway. The hell had ‘everyone been saying’?

“Tyler I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Johnson continued tinkering on Ben’s gun as he spoke, “everyone’s been talking about your little sex-capades with our lovely Amanda. And from what I’ve heard you’ve been having quite the time. And on company property! All my lovely work tainted.”

Tyler’s tone was teasing, but Ben didn’t find it very funny. If anyone had been talking this poorly about Amanda he was going to snap.

“Johnson you better not be joking about this, I swear to God.”

Tyler finished on Ben’s gun, “As funny as I am, this I’m not joking about. You and Anderson have been a pretty hot topic. And if you haven’t heard about the stories yet you will eventually.”

“Stories?! The hell are the stories?”

“Whoa cool it kettle, you’ll boil over” Tyler poked, “look, go talk to Silas. That’s who I heard it from.”

Ben frowned, “Silas? He started this?”

“God no, he’s to dumb to be that creative,” Tyler laughed, “I think he heard it from some Detectives. Maybe receptionist Alicia? I’m not sure, I’m not one to gossip.”

Ben rolled his eyes and hopped off the lab table. He needed to find Silas, or at least someone who could actually give him answers about what the hell was going on.

~

“Damn it!” Amanda yelled. Another shot too far to the right, she was never going to perfect this. Clint chuckled from the sidelines as she set up another clip, “Okay, okay. That’s enough for today. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”

Amanda grumbled, setting her weapon and holster in Clint’s outstretched palm. “I just want to get this down, I keep messing up.”

“You’re not going to perfect it in one day Amanda, you killed it today. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Clint patted her shoulder in comfort, she was such a perfectionist. You had to be in this line of work, but even Natalie couldn’t perfect a shot in one day. Not that Clint would ever tell anyone, of course. Natalie would kill him.

“Thanks Clint. I appreciate your help.” Amanda started to pack up her things and leave, “you wanna go for lunch? Ben should have a table for us by now.”

Clint smiled to himself, of course Ben would have a table. Clueless dork.

“I’ll have to pass, I’m working with Bruce today.”

“No worries about lunch then, I’ll catch you later?”

Clint nodded and waved as she excited the range. Amanda started to text Ben as she was leaving, before she collided into her favorite little rookie.

“Oh, hey Pete. Didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Peter beamed brightly at her, eager for some social interaction. “Hey Amanda, is Mr. Johnson in there? I’ve been meaning to talk to him, walkies aren’t working and I can’t seem to figure it out.”

Amanda smiled at him, she always loved hearing about Peter’s and Tyler’s mentor-apprentice relationship. Like a kid asking for help on a science project.

“No, he’s not in there. I think he’s in the lab. I’ll walk you down.”

“Oh okay, thanks Amanda.”

They began their walk down the hallway before Peter piped up again, “Oh, and by the way. I’m really happy to hear about you and Detective Braxton! You always seemed like a good match. Though he’s always seemed really grumpy to me, but if that’s what you’re into-”

Amanda laughed and stopped Peter’s rambling, “Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but Ben and I are just friends.”

Peter made a face of confusion, “But- that’s not what Detective Hill was saying.”

Amanda stopped and motioned for Peter to stop as well, “Pete, what are you talking about?”

Peter made a calculating face, as if he was working out an equation. “Well,” he started, “Detective Hill said that she had been talking to Detective Braxton, and she said that he had heard from Mrs. Jane in analytics that-”

“Pete, cut to the point buddy.”

Peter nodded then continued, “Well apparently everyone has said you two are together now, officially. Because you’ve been um, been intimate.”

Peter hushed at the last statement, recognizing the talk as inappropriate.

Amanda was speechless, confused as to this all came about. Where was all of this coming from?

She placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, a slight hardness in her eye and a bit firmer in her touch. She then smiled at Peter, Peter gulped.

“Pete, you’re my favorite. And because of this, you are going to tell me everything you know. Now, let’s walk.”

~

Silas sat perched in his barstool of the lounge. “What to do,” he thought aloud, “what to do?”

Does he tell Ben first, or Amanda first? Silas loved to get a rise out of people, all in good fun of course. Now Amanda could either get overly flustered or overly aggressive. Ben, he knows, will be overly aggressive straight away. But it sure is worth the freakout he’ll deliver. Silas then heard footsteps rapidly pacing down the corridor, apparently the decision had been made for him.

“Wilson.”

Silas smirked as he turned in his stool, “Braxton!” Silas greeted.

Ben was furious, his glare burning holes in all he looked at, “Start talking.”

Silas faked bewilderment, “About what pal?”

Ben near growled, “You know damn well what about. Where the hell do you get off spreading bullshit about Amanda and I?’

Silas shook his head, “I haven't been spreading shit. I only told Johnson, if he tells anyone that is his prerogative.”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Damn it Wilson, take this seriously. This shit is embarrassing. Amanda and I have no idea what’s going on: you could at least be decent and tell me what’s going on.”

Silas sighed, this wasn’t fun anymore. Silas meant all his talk to Johnson in good fun, but when he sees this upsetting the man as much as it does, he nearly feels guilty.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what’s been said. Do you want the grapevine? Or the details?”

“Details first. Grapevine after, so I know who to kill.”

~

Amanda was steaming. For the past half hour she had been storming through the compound, where the hell was Ben?

Everyone’s eyes had been on her no matter where she went, she wasn’t taking this shit anymore.

The conclusion she had come to, was that regardless of this whole stupid game of telephone, it must’ve come from either her or Ben. And it sure as hell wasn’t her.

Amanda stormed into the elevator, Alicia said the last she saw of Silas was when he was heading to the lounge. And if Silas was there; so was Ben.

She felt her anger pent up in her fists, mad heat radiating off her so hot she would have melted the elevator shaft.

As the elevator arrived at her level she had to restrain herself from barrelling through the doors.

“Braxton! WILSON!”

~

“Oh no, someone’s not happy.” Silas jokes. Ben groaned internally, after what he’d just been told he could not face Amanda.

“Think I can escape?” He asked. Silas shook his head, “Not unless you can run faster than she can.”

Amanda stomped to the boys, grabbing Ben’s arm and pulling him towards the adjoining hallway.

“We need to talk. Now.”

Ben was much stronger than Amanda, but he didn’t dare pull away from her grasp. Not when she was this furious. He hadn’t seen her this angry since she found out he went on a call without a bullet-proof vest.

She released him and poked a finger into his chest, “Start talking.” She crossed her arms over her chest, demanding explanation.

Ben sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Okay so, from what I’ve heard-

“-I don’t give a damn what you heard. What did you say?”

“What?” He blurted.

“What did you say!? You clearly told someone something that made them think we were together.”

“Seriously? You think I would do that?!”

“No! Of course not! But I haven’t told anyone anything, and nothing has ever changed in the way people have talked about us since today. I didn’t say anything to anyone. So you must’ve accidentally Ben. So think about it! What the hell have you said to someone today?!”

Ben groaned as he leaned his head back, “Amanda, I haven’t seen anyone all day except you this morning, and then Johnson for my gun. And he is the one that told me what’s been going on, so that doesn’t make any sense.”

Amanda was taken aback, “But Peter said that Hill said that-”

“Fuck Amanda, don’t worry about the grapevine. It doesn’t matter anymore, things have already gotten so out of hand.”

Amanda was embarrassed that she so eagerly jumped on this bandwagon of gossip, going so far as to accuse her best friend. A small frown appeared on her lip as her face turned downcast.

Ben saw the change, immediately feeling bad for his own outburst. He reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders to comfort her, “Doll, I promise I didn’t say anything to anyone. And I know you wouldn’t either. It’s just some stupid game of telephone.”

Amanda smiled sadly, appreciating how easily he calmed her.

“So you didn’t say anything?”

He released her arms, content now that she wasn’t upset anymore. “No, of course not Amanda.”

Amanda breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back against the wall. She let her head rest as well, thinking how things could have gotten so out of hand.

“People have always thought we’re together. This can’t really be that bad right?”

Ben didn’t make a response, which worried Amanda.

“Right, Ben?”

Ben was tense and avoided her gaze, looking everywhere but her. This couldn’t be good.

“Braxton. It’s not that bad right?” She practically begged.

Ben grimaced, he didn’t like when she used his last name. “Honestly Amanda, it’s pretty bad.”

“Oh god,” she cried, “what have you heard?”

He cringed, “look I don’t really want to say. So please don’t make me.” He turned away from her, embarrassed they were even having this conversation.

“Braxton you tell me right now.” She demanded.

He couldn’t keep it from her, especially with her this mad. “They’re telling stories about us that haven’t happened. It’s not just rumours of this or that, it’s like- it’s like ‘people have walked in on us’ kind of thing.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not Amanda.” He was just as annoyed as she was, and he was ashamed to be talking to any girl like this. Let alone Amanda.

Ben mirrored Amanda’s position, leaning back against the other hall wall.

“What are the stories?”

“Pardon?” He must have misheard her, surely she’s not actually asking for detail.

“I said, what are the stories?”

“Amanda come on, I don’t want to talk about stuff like this. It’s inappro-”

“Ben please, it’s me.” She pleaded, “Can you please just do this for me?”

He gazed at her features. She was so distraught, eyes asking for honesty and lip turned down in a subtle pout. Ben couldn’t say no to her.

“Alright, well…” he started, “Silas told me that one of them-”

“There’s more than one?!” she groaned.

Ben looked at her in defeat, “Doll you know if I could’ve stopped them I would’ve.”

“I know, I know… I’m sorry.” She muttered, “Continue.”

He started again, “There’s one about us... in Tyler’s lab. Someone said they’d walked in on us, trying to see how strong I ‘really was’.”

“Oh god…”

“Yeah, I’d had you hoisted up with my one arm while I was… you know…”

Amanda gestured for him to elaborate. He sighed, “-you know, fingering you with the other.”

Amanda blushed as she looked to the ground. She could picture it. Her hands over his shoulders as he held her up, head rolled back as she moaned his name.

She cleared her throat, ridding the thoughts from her mind. “Okay, well that’s not that bad.”

Ben nodded, eager to minimize the awkwardness. “Yeah, could be worse.”

“What are the others?”

“Doll please, I-”

“Oh stop, we’ve gotten this far just tell me the worst of it.”

“Okay fine. Silas also said there’s one about us in the gym. I had you bent over the bench press, spanking you as I fucked you-” Ben stopped himself for a moment, surprised at how vulgar his language had gotten.” -fucked you from behind. Saying stuff like, “you like that baby, am I fucking you good?””

Amanda choked out a laugh, “oh.”

Now that was an imagine to ponder, Ben gripping her hips tightly. Hands roaming over her backside, whispering in her ear the worst things.

“Crazy, the uh, imagination of everyone huh?” She stuttered. She looked down to the ground, feeling the heat in her cheeks worsen. This didn’t go unnoticed by Ben. Could this, possibly, be turning her on? Ben took in her stance; the fidgeting, the avoiding eye contact, the red in her cheeks. He could practically hear her heart pounding from the other side of the hallway. Or was that his own?

Poke the bear Ben, he thought. There’s only one way to find out…

He didn’t need her encouragement to begin the next story, “Another one I heard is that recruits have walked in on us in the showers. We were both completely soaking wet, fucking hard. I had your legs wrapped around my waist and my hands were pinning your arms above your head. You were screaming like crazy, practically begging me for more. They said I nearly tore the tile off the wall from how hard we were going.”

Ben’s dripping wet body pressed against hers, rutting his hips into her at a ridiculous pace. Her moans echoing in the shower as she raked her nails across his back. A deep groan escaping his chest, as he quickly grabs her wrists and pins them above her, never losing his pace. “Keep it up doll, and you’ll get punished for that.”

She was zoning out, thinking unspeakable things of the man only 5 feet away from her.

Ben knew now, he could feel the tension building up in both of them. Ben felt himself breathing harder, felt the excitement in his skin. Are you picturing it now, he thought.

Ben stepped closer to her, “Another is that a receptionist walked in on us after a meeting, I’d picked you right up as soon as everyone walked out, couldn’t keep my hands off you for more than a second. I’d torn off your blouse and marked the hell out of you, just completely covering you in marks. Didn’t even stop when she walked in, they said.”

“Oh god, Ben” she moans, as he works away at her collarbones. His hands harsh on her waist as she pulls at his blonde locks. His stubble scrapes over her skin as he bites and sucks across her chest. “Careful baby,” he says, “don’t want someone to hear…”

Amanda snaps back to reality, when she realizes Ben has settled himself right in front of her. Ben licks his bottom lip, watching Amanda. Those pretty lips, he thinks. Those eyes.

“Imagine that? Being so caught up in each other we don’t even stop…”

Amanda can feel her chest pounding, her breath nearly catching in her throat.

“Even now, people probably think I’ve just pulled you away... because I can’t keep my hands off you for a goddamn second.”

She felt his hands hovering her hips, gingerly setting them there as he pulled her to him. He was trying to be careful, so damn careful as to not to break the moment.

“I could just… pin you against this wall, effortlessly. Take you slow, just so I can get a damn good look at you. So I could just feel you.”

The look in his eyes was sinful, intense. It wasn’t a story anymore, he was telling her exactly what he wanted to do.

She slowly wrapped her hands around his biceps, biting her lip gently.

Ben nearly moans, the sight is boarderline erotic. You’ll be the end of me, he thinks.

“You really think that’s what they’re saying?” She whispers, low and sultry, “or is that what you want, Ben?”

Ben bowed his head, lips directly by her ear, “what do you think?”

“Braxton!”

The two startled, and turned towards the voice. Silas was coming down the hallway, completely oblivious. “Tyler’s looking for you, something about clearing up the rumour-...”

Silas slowly halted in his step, taking in the situation. A smile creeps to his face, and he puckers his lips to stifle a smile, “Am I-uh, interrupting something?”

Amanda and Ben turned back to each other, separating themselves quickly. They struggled to find words to explain themselves, avoiding eye contact with each other.

“No Silas, you’re not.” Amanda stammers. “Um, I’ve gotta go find Natalie. Just gonna-uh talk to her about some things.”

Amanda looks between the two men, then hustles past Silas trying to act as composed as she can.

Once she’s out of sight, Ben scowls at Silas.

“Are you kidding me Wilson?”

Silas howls with laughter, hands over his chest. Ben groans, “you idiot! You have the worst damn timing!”

Silas continues to laugh and tries speaking through tears, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I just can’t believe it took you stupid drama to make a damn move. So much for just rumours.”

Silas continues his beltering down the hall with Ben mumbling, “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you” as he follows.

[nemurii-the-sleeper]

Week 10: Do Toxic Fans in Some Online Spaces Make It Difficult to Become or Identify as a Fan?

Sure, online fan communities may be a great way for people to bond over shared interests, whether it's anime, TV shows, K-Drama, or music (maybe the weird stuff like the furry communities). But not all these spaces are friendly. Some fans can be pretty toxic, creating an unwelcoming environment that puts off newbies and even makes existing members hesitant to call themselves fans. This blog dives into how toxic fan behaviour affects online communities, drawing on academic research and real-life examples.

Understanding Toxic Fandom

Toxic fandom refers to the negative behaviours displayed by certain fans, like harassment, gatekeeping, and aggressively defending what they love. This behaviour usually crops up in online spaces such as social media, forums, and comment sections, where people can hide behind anonymity and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Harassment and Bullying

One of the worst things about toxic fandom is the harassment. Fans with unpopular opinions or newbies trying to join the community often become targets. 

For instance, Kelly Marie Tran, an actress in the "Star Wars" franchise, faced serious online harassment from a group of fans who weren't happy with her character. The hate she received on social media was so intense, especially with the sexist and racist comments that she ended up deleting her Instagram account. This kind of behaviour not only affects the people being targeted but also sends a message to potential new fans that they might face similar treatment. Which is not cool dude.

Gatekeeping

Gatekeeping happens when established fans block others from joining the fandom, often by questioning the authenticity or knowledge of newer or more casual fans. This behaviour can create an exclusive environment where only certain fans feel welcome. According to Jenkins (2006), they talk about how fan communities sometimes develop hierarchies that favour certain types of knowledge or commitment, which can make others feel left out.

A well-known example of gatekeeping can be seen in gaming communities. Female gamers often face doubt and hostility, with their gaming skills or knowledge constantly being questioned. This gatekeeping not only discourages women from participating but also keeps the exclusion and toxicity going.

Aggressive Defense

Another common behaviour in toxic fandoms is aggressively defending what they're fans of. This can mean attacking critics, rival fan groups, or even the creators themselves if they feel their expectations aren't being met. This aggression can create an environment of fear and negativity, making it hard for fans to express their honest opinions.

The "Rick and Morty" fandom is a clear example of this behavior. The backlash against the creators and writers, especially when episodes or storylines didn't meet certain fans' expectations, led to harassment campaigns that tarnished the reputation of the fandom as a whole.

Academic Perspectives

Social identity theory, as discussed by Tajfel and Turner (2000), can help explain why toxic behaviors emerge in fandoms. Fans often derive a significant part of their identity from their association with a particular fandom. When this identity is perceived to be threatened—whether by criticism, new interpretations, or new members—some fans react aggressively to protect their sense of self.

Online Disinhibition Effect

Suler (2004) introduced the concept of the online disinhibition effect, which describes how people behave more aggressively online than they would in face-to-face interactions. The anonymity of the internet reduces accountability, leading some individuals to express hostility without fear of real-world consequences. This effect contributes significantly to the toxicity seen in many online fan communities. Does it affect the creators?

Toxic fan behaviour doesn't just affect the fans themselves; it also has a big impact on the creators. When creators face harassment and aggressive criticism, it can really wear them down, make them less motivated, and even push them to avoid interacting with their audience. This not only messes with their mental health but also affects the quality and quantity of content they put out.

How do we solve this?

Dealing with toxic fandom requires effort from both the platform admins and the community members. Encouraging positive behaviour, setting clear guidelines against harassment, and creating inclusive environments can help tackle toxicity. Research shows that promoting empathy and understanding within communities can really cut down on the negative stuff (AIContentfy Team, 2023).

Basically in summary?

Toxic fans can definitely make it hard for people to join or feel part of a fan community in certain online spaces. Harassment, gatekeeping, and aggressive defence create unfriendly environments that push away both new and existing fans. But by getting to the root of the problem and putting in place strategies to promote inclusivity and respect, online communities can bring back the good side of being a fan and make sure everyone feels welcome. References

AIContentfy Team 2023, “The power of community building through blogging: engaging your audience and building relationships,” AIContentfy, viewed <https://aicontentfy.com/en/blog/power-of-community-building-through-blogging-engaging-audience-and-building-relationships>.

Jenkins, H 2006, “Fans, bloggers, and gamers: exploring participatory culture,” Choice/Choice reviews, New York University Press, pp. 44–4296, viewed <https://doi.org/10.5860/choice.44-4296>.

Suler, J 2004, “The online disinhibition effect,” Cyberpsychology & Behavior/CyberPsychology and Behavior, vol. 7, no. 3, pp. 321–326, viewed <https://doi.org/10.1089/1094931041291295>.

Tajfel, H & Turner, J 2000, “An integrative theory of intergroup conflict,” Oxford University Press eBooks, pp. 56–65, viewed <https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780199269464.003.0005>.