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[babyjakes]

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[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

5 Songs Tag - QL Edition

Credit to @troubled-mind for the idea! Thank you @rocketturtle4 for leaving the prompt open and letting me jump in on this.

📝 Rules:

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL shows that you actually listen to.

♪♪♪They do not have to be custom-made for the series.

♪♪♪Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages!

♪♪♪ Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested participating.

♪♪♪ Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. Romantic Devil - Coldin

Semantic Error may have a very small OST list but it's a pretty darn good one that does its job well. This song caught my ear immediately when I was watching Semantic Error and I've never looked back since. I listen to this song whenever I'm out and about and want to feel a little bit of added confidence by channeling my inner Jae Young.

2. Rock & Star - Fourth Nattawat

I love pretty much all of the MSP OST tracklist but Rock & Star just might be my favourite (by a very small margin though, so many of the songs and covers are amazing, Just Being Friendly could honestly be here, as could Let Me Tell You and ฟัง). It honestly makes me so happy whenever I listen to it, 💯 points and no complaints.

3. Just Friends - Nanon

I won't lie, normally when someone picks up a guitar in a bl it's my queue to press the skip button until they've put it down again because I am completely willing to potentially miss a little bit of plot in order to avoid even a millisecond of second hand embarrassment. Just Friends was the first time my hand paused over the fast forward button and I'm so glad it did, I love this song.

4. What Don't You Stay - Jeff Satur

I have actually never watched KinnPorsche (shock horror gasp) and I don't currently intend to (screams of horror) because I know my own tastes pretty well at this point and I don't think they align. Maybe one day though, who knows. That being said, I have seen interview clips and have enjoyed Jeff and Barcode as a very chaotic friendship/mentor and I am completely willing to admit Jeff has a beautiful voice that I can listen to for hours.

5. Night Flower - Ahn Ye Eun

Okay, I'm cheating a little because this is from a webtoon and not a TV show BUT given part of the point of this tag is to celebrate Non-western artists and music, I think it can be given a pass. Ahn Ye Eun is one of my favourite artists. Full. Stop. I absolutely adore her and her voice and I got so excited when I found out she's writing songs for BL webtoons now, I just really hope we get to hear her in an OST for a (historical) K-QL soon because that would be A TREAT.

Her style is Trad-Fusion and mixes techniques and styles from traditional Korean music with more modern pop elements and I fell in love with it the first time I heard it (and maybe you will too, I definitely recommend checking out her other works if you can).

[snow-143]

The Truth Untold | Kim Taehyung

Three- Kook (1.4k words) |

'I'll stay. But it's just until I can find my own place.'

'Wait. Really?' Eun sounds relieved. 'I'll go tell the boys!'

'Like I said it's just temporary though.' I remind her, but she just brushes it off not taking me seriously.

'Yeah yeah I heard. So have you got your stuff?'

'Yeah, Yoongi dropped them off for me.' smiling at the thought I watch as Euns smile drops into a scowl.

'I could've got them.' queue the snide comments:

'You know I don't even see why you hang out with someone like that.'

'Good thing you don't have to see because it's not you hanging out with him. It's me. and I see why perfectly well.' defending my friends has always come easy to me, even if I can't defend myself. They deserve better than me.

She doesn't reply to this which makes me smile.

'You better start unpacking your things.' changing the topic, she scowls.

——————————

'Y/nnn? Come out here we ordered chicken.' I'm woken up by Jungkooks loud shouts accompanied by the heavenly smell of fried chicken.

Basically sprinting out of my room I make it into the front room safely and grab some meat.

'Wow. Calm down, it's not going to run away.' I hear one of the boys chuckle, I'm assuming Jimin. I don't wait to check though to busy eating the food.

'I mean they are chicken legs.' Jungkook says lamely. No one laughs. 'Get it? Because they're-'

'We get it Kook. We get it.' Eun cuts him off.

'Unfortunately.' I add.

'Hey it wasn't that bad of a joke.' he pouts.

'It's okay JK we all make bad jokes sometimes...' Kim Tae tries to comfort.

'Hobi would've laughed.' I shrug forgetting they haven't met my friends yet.

'Him again really?' I'm really getting sick of Euns comments, but I brush it off not wanting to argue again.

'Who's that?' Jungkook asks seemingly intrigued by someone with the same sad humour as him.

'He's my friend, I was staying at his before I came here.' smiling I tell them more about my friends.

'They seem cool!' his doe eyes are sparkling at me making me basically melt into a puddle of mush.

'Yeah they are. You can meet them if you like?' his smile seems to grow even more before dropping again.

'I can't. I'm going on a family trip tomorrow.'

'What? Since when?' Eun says obviously not have heard this piece of information yet. 'Since a while now.'

'And you just didn't think to tell us?' she continues arguing.

'Actually... we already knew.' This time it's Jimins turn to speak.

'So I'm the only one who didn't know?' she scoffs noticeably offended.

Eun hates being left out of things, hates when she isn't the centre.

'Well technically you're not the only one who didn't know, y/n didn't either?' Jungkook says, well more questions but shuts up when she glares at him.

'She doesn't count.' she continues to huff, I decide to stay out of it knowing id probably make her mad.

Taehyung gets involved now seemingly pissed off with her antics by now, 'well we knew you'd act like this, so we told him to hold off on telling you.'

'So this was your idea?' I can already see the situation blowing up with Euns temper and Taehyungs obvious short fuse with her at the moment, so I intervene, 'look we all know now so why don't we just try and calm down?'

'So you're on their side with this? Wow.'

'What? No, of course not, but I just don't think this is worth arguing over.' starting to get pissed off myself now I take a deep breath.

'Look I'm not arguing on my first night here so either you take it somewhere else or you get over it.' I give them all a firm look and Eun seems startled into silence by my harsh words.

The rest of the meal is sat in silence apart from my odd question to Jungkook here and there about his trip and Jimins off handed remarks that I actually appreciate at the moment.

We're soon tidying up and going our separate ways desperate to leave what ever atmosphere was just created. Its obvious Eun is annoyed at me, but I chose to ignore it as I decide to say goodbye to Jungkook now in case I miss him in the morning.

I may not know him a lot, but I already feel close to the shy but welcoming boy.

'Hey, Jungkook.' I beckon him over before he can escape to his room. 'Sorry I know you probably want an early night, but I just wanted to say goodbye now.'

'No it's okay. I'm actually glad I have a minute to talk to you.'

Confused at this I motion for him to continue wonder what he could even have to say to me. 'It's actually about Tae, I don't really know the ins and outs of what happened between you two, but I do know something happened that really hurt him and I just wanted to make sure nothing like that would happen again. Don't get me wrong you seem like a really nice girl, but you've got to understand from my perspective.' there seems to be an underlying question in there somewhere which I choose to ignore.

Stunned by his words I take a minute to process what he meant, Tae hurt? But why would he be hurt?

'I mean I certainly have no intention of repeating that situation, but maybe you should be more concerned about what Taehyung might do.'

Its like you can see the cogs working in his head as he tries to fit my words into what ever narrative he's put together with the information he's gathered about it all.

'Right... Yeah, of course anyway you wanted to give me a special goodbye or something?' Glad he decided to drop it although still seeming confused I smile.

'Ah yes the one in a lifetime experience to hug y/n l/n.' my smile is now proud as I wink at him already internally cringing. Its worth it when hear his trademark giggled though.

'How special indeed. I'm a lucky man.' he begins moving closer to me already opening his arms. 'Yes you are Mr Jeon Jungkook.'

I laugh when he crushes me into a surprisingly not awkward hug, comforting actually.

After a while I realize he's not going to let me go anytime soon I start to wiggle in his hold asking to be set free.

'Nope. You're not going anywhere, like you said 'it's a one in a lifetime experience' and I'm taking advantage of that.'

Laughing at his childish behaviour I compromise, 'look if you let go now you can have as many hugs as you want when you get back.'

He seems to think it over for a second, hugging me harder. 'You promise?' he mumbles into my hair.

'Promise.'

'How long are you two going to stand there like that?' its Taehyung, sounding particularly pissed off. Probably still off of the argument before.

Trying to step back again Jungkook takes a deep breath before separating us.

We all stand there for a minute before I decide the tension is too much, 'I'm going to head to bed. You should get some rest now too Kook.'

Showing off his bunny smile he brightens at the nickname, heading the opposite way as I make my way to mine.' Night y/nnie.' 'Night Kook.'

Walking past Taehyung our hand graze and I feel a shoot of electricity run up my arm causing me to gasp. He seems to feel it too as he grabs my wrist to stop me.

'How come you can call him Kook but can't even call me Tae?'

'You know why.' I sigh already exhausted by this interaction.

'No I don't. It's just a name.' his grip tightens almost painfully.

'Exactly Taehyung. It's just a name.' I put emphasis on his name. Feeling his grip loosen I rip my hand away.

'Goodnight Taehyung.' walking away I barely hear his reply.

'Goodnight Moon.'

My body tenses at the old nickname, but I don't stop walking until I've made it into my room and closed the door.

I can feel a lone tear mark its way down my cheek, leaving a stain, I don't bother to wipe away, as proof of its existence.

prev | m.list | next

—————

a/n: updates are going to be slower from now on since my break is over. sorry.

tags:

@turnthepageandbeburnt

@blackswan18

[caratwritersclub]

hi :3 i was just wondering if there were requirements to join the discord server? are there also requirements to be a mod as well? i would love to follow the writer's club there too if that was okay. thank you!!

hi! the only requirement to join the discord server is to be a member of the network! as for being a queue/server mod, the only requirements are that you're an adult and that you understand our rules + tagging/queueing system and you can navigate discord.

— admin eun 💫

[mnovenia]

DAY 1 in KOREA

There were many mixed feelings before I departed again to Korea. I never expected the timing will be so tight and closed to the time I hosted them from the bible camp. At the back of my mind of course I did not know why, and still feel tired and not ready, but somehow I trust that God arranged this way for His good own sake. And HE PROVED HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. After 1 hectic week of PI, 1 hectic week of work & arranging everything, I departed with faith, whatever God want to do, let it be, and WRC 2023 here I go...

Bella went first and she said she's quite busy so she couldn't accompany me for the few first days. I was like, great, how? But Oh Jibsanim contacted me and said she will pick me up at the airport. I was like OMG, of course that was a great idea because I know Eun Jung Eonnie would be so occupied with work since she left for PI. And not only Oh Jibsanim picked me up, she also has arranged a lunch meeting with Kwonsanim and Eun Gu at their apartment and she has planned to cook for me, I was like CRYYYYYY..

Also Hak Man kindly sent me a prior message about my coming and said let's hang out in Korea, which made me feel welcomed and relieved that I would have friends apart from Yoora & Bella. THANK YOU SO MUCH

I was so happy departing from Bali, to Singapore, was so nice to get out of the country. So funny that on the way to the airport I had a nice convo with the driver who went for singing competition for his church and how he shared about his spiritual journery :'') I hope I shared what can strengthen him as well at that time. The queue in the immigration etc was so crazy tho because of many scouts.

But finally I made it to my so called 2nd home Singapore, where the captain & stewardess always impressed me. I ate so many things including Ba Kut Teh that forced me to speak chinese because of their assumption. Bee Cheng Hiang, exp Bacha coffee n kaya toast at term 1 with angpao that was given by Uncle Chan last year, thank you uncle. I had 8 hours layover but I spent in the airport HAHAHA don't even want to go out to jewel so I just rest, but almost late for a change of gates, jauh banget but thankful God nudged me to leave earlier. On the go the indian staffs talked to me in Korean (MUL) with assumption that I'm a korean, pheww so much assumption for a day, but i feel so funny. The turbulance was quite bad that I couldn't sleep but thank you Kuang Han Tsu, I managed to see your handsome face and cure my anxiety HAHAHAHHA.

There were no amount of love I ever gain these past year apart from my Korean church family :''')) from them I realise how important and beautiful it is to be loved unconditionally like this, I learn how I should share the same love they gave, without any prejudice or expectation that they will receive something in return from me.

Anyway after had quite a deep talk with Oh Jibsanim, we're heading to Eun Gu apartment, I'm always amused and still feel like in the drama. We talked a lot, Kwonsanim made me so comfortable and served Galbitang, many delicious banchan, pacheon, delicious drink, peel guail as well. Eun Gu was nice and all smiling, I think he gained much confidence since the camp which makes me SO EXTREMELY happy as well. He was polite and said one day will eat kwonsanim's budae jjigae together with Nuna. I will be back for that Eun Guy-ya!

Then jibsanim dropped me to EunJung Eonnie's office. I couldn't remember much as I was so tired and slept all through in the common room. I just remembered some girls were laughing wkkwkw. After Eunjung Eonnie finished her work, she took me around to our church and parked, took a picture of me and the church building, then JENG JENG we met Hong Jangronim the PD-nim HAHAHA. Oh my I'm so happy to get to know him better. He treated us for a meal at the mulgogi siktang, my favorite resto that I went to last year aswell. He said my hangul is charae Hahaha, and showed our church's video content. Ahhh I remembered even though I was so full (2 bowl of rices at Eun Gu's house) but I couldn't resist the fish, most delish udon and banchan huhuhu I really love hansik, ottokeee yeorobun.

Afterwards we departed and go to Eonnie's apt that I have missed the most. As usual, I stayed at Yui's room. I felt like home, the kids were still away, also Taekyun Oppa. So I went out with Eonnie to walk through the apartment. Twas so nice and cute, it's like Kdrama in the real life. We had a patbingsoo date at Tous Les Jur, the injeolmi and pat are the best omg eonnieee I can't stop eating the big portion. Then we went to baskin robin because Oppa wanted some ice cream.

Afterwards, we're home, the kids were there, we're happilly reunited, nae saranaghaneun chukadeul Yui, Seoyi, Sooyi, I love you so much. I gave the gifts to eonnie, oppa, and the kids and heading to sleep. Taekyun Oppa and Eonnie ensured that I slept well with aircond, lamp and fan. Huhuhu God, may you bless this family as I couldn't be able to repay their kindness. I just cover each of them with Your grace, that the light they spread save other souls as well, and I pray that I could be like them to treat others with loving pure kindness and no prejudice. I love you so much Chung Family from Gimpo <3

[whovewor]

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[haemilkis]

grocery shopping date

Pairing: husband!haechanxreader

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 1172 words (im sorry—it was supposed to be a drabble adjskl)

Warnings: none

Summary: You and your husband Haechan decided to go grocery shopping together and stumbled upon someone that made you want to ask whether you were ready to build a family.

It was a Sunday morning and both you and your husband Haechan were beat from last night’s impromptu karaoke session that went on till 4am since your husband just can’t stop serenading you his favourite Micheal Jacksons’ songs. It was definitely sweet of him to share his Spotify playlist(S) with you back when you were still his girlfriend. But not when you’re now his wife and would have to listen to his anthem Smooth Criminal at least thrice a day — but you also fell in love with him because of that. He really proposed to you to be his girlfriend through his Spotify playlist! 

As of right now, you’re just too madly in love with this man to deny anything from him. “hey, morning”, he muffles his words under the blanket and slowly stretches his arms around your waist. “so, what are you doing today?”, you said as you positioned your face in front of him and tugged the blanket he used to hide his face in. Haechan was smiling through the blanket as he playfully peeps at you through the blanket and stared at you face for a bit before answering you, “maybe we should go grocery shopping together today, what do you think, hm?”, you smiled playfully and nodded through the blanket that was once on Haechan’s head. You both knew that it was still a tad bit early to go now so you just cuddled together for another 10 mins or so you thought—it was actually an hour later when you both got up and got ready to go to the nearby supermarket to buy your groceries. 

As soon as you and your husband arrived at the supermarket it was packed with people and you were already thinking whether you should just go home—but you husband was adamant to still pick up the necessary items like milk, bread and chocoballs (Maltesers to be exact, his absolute favourite). So you just went in the automated glass door entrance of the Groceria whilst Haechan grabbed the trolley. Once you found the perishable food aisle you asked your husband if he wanted some more tofu and kimchi since he loved to cook kimchijiggae at least twice a week. “of course! yes yes” he cheered to you and with a smile he winked and you were a bit flustered because you can never get used to your husband’s love language (flirting with you 24/7 at the most random times). “alrighty haechan i get you now turn down a notch... there are people staring at us” haechan smirked and strolled the trolley to the bread section that was a few steps away.

Unbeknown to you, suddenly you felt someone tugging your maxi dress from behind. You were about to scream your husband’s name aloud because you were already internally screaming for a split second. You quickly turned around to see a very small figure with a height just above your knees tugging your dress tightly. The tiny baby girl had long hair in a ponytail and eyes were wet with tears. “Are you okay sweetheart? Where are your parents? Are you alright? don’t cry, okay let’s find mummy and daddy”, you bombarded her with questions since you were feeling flustered as the small figure’s crying didn’t stop.

Haechan saw you and was about to approach you but stopped his tracks as he saw your maternal side when you started to hug the child’s small figure to calm her. He felt weird. Not the bad kind of weird — rather, something in him was infatuated by the sight of you and him having a child together. To have his very own small family. He was lost in his own thoughts but quickly brought back to reality as the mother of the child in your hands scurried through the crowd to reach her crying baby girl. “I'm so sorry! Eun Hae tends to run off on her own sometimes whenever she gets a little too giddy but would also then cry when she loses her way to me” the mother rambles and sighs at the end as she tells you about her daughter. By this time your husband was beside you and also trying to entertain the small girl to ease her cries whilst the mother was explaining to you. Shortly after, the mother then thanked you again and left the both of you again now walking towards the freshly baked bread section of the Groceria.

You noticed that haechan was stealing looks at you. “um, is there something on my face?”, you quickly brushed your face with your fingers. He smiled  “no, you don’t” and briefly chuckled. Both of you went back to shopping for the groceries together speedily since the supermarket was now very packed. The queues were long and you both kept things minimal and bought only the absolute necessities ( yes, Maltesers included) and went to the self checkout counter to make your payment.

As soon as you were in the car and loaded the shopping bags in, haechan was still stealing looks at you. “Ok haechan tell me...what is on your mind?” You just knew that at this point he wasn’t trying to get your attention to flirt with you or any of his mischievous acts since he had “I have something to tell you” written all over his face. Haechan quickly adjusted his body to face you from the driver’s seat. “Okay so actually just now when you were calming the little girl from crying... i was— well I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now... do you think we should... you know... have our own little family?”, he said as he looked into your eyes earnestly. “I saw how you looked at the little girl and how you calmed her down...I just know that you will be able to be the best mother for our children” he continued. You, on the other hand, were feeling relieved and over the moon when your husband finally asked you this. You’ve always felt unsure on how to bring up this topic with him to discuss because it was always either you were both too busy with work or just unsure how to word it to you husband—mostly due to the latter.

You positioned yourself upright as you face your husband in the car with just the white noise of the wind blasting through the car’s air-conditioning chambers. “I- thank you haechan. Thank you and yes! yes I would love too”, you mumbled to him as you looked back at him at the verge of tears streaming down your peach tint cheeks.

You both hugged each other and savoured the moment into the embrace. “okay but let's go home first okay? or else your maltesers’ going to melt”, you said with a chuckle.

© HAEMILKIS, 2021

[isisparker]

Which one you liked most: Search or Sweet Home? I was waiting for Search since the first casting announcement of Dong Yoon and Krystal. I wasn't dissapointed and ended up liking it even more than I thought. I think both shows are good because they aren't pretentious. SH may sound pretentious but I think they fully embraced, as Search did, the entertainment value, although I found the final episodes a little too anxiety inducing. +

+ Also, I sort of fell in love with Hyun Soo? Not romantic "in love" (obviously), you know... It's because I felt so much for him :( He is such a nice boy, what a pity everything he had to pass through! Really like the work of Song Kang, first time seeing him and he impressed me a lot.

Hello anon!

Huh... good question! I think, tbh, I’d need [literal] time to truly tell which one I like MOST because both Search and Sweet Home have qualities that I adore and found lacking. Maybe I’ll determine when more than enough time has passed and I rewatched both shows but, yeah, it’s truly difficult to tell because Search ended and it took almost a month for me to come to terms with the drama ending, then immediately Sweet Home dropped.

re: Search - I agree that casting is what made me initially give Search a shot because I like Krystal and Dong Yoon (in that order of preference). I quickly fell for it because despite the plot and mystery being exactly what I expected [seriously, my bar was low because it read B-horror thriller and I got that and more!]. and it was the characters and their connections to each other (specifically Dong Jin & Joon Sung, like the tragedy of their fathers’ past not defining their inevitable friendship. more so the tragic irony of Joon Sung saving the son of the man his father killed. MY HEART.) that compelled me to consider Search as That Gem of a show for me despite popular opinion. 

re: Sweet Home - this show was, initially, not something I was going to check out on my own. Despite being a growing fan of Lee Do Hyun (honestly, stand out actor with a, imo, stand out role), it wasn’t enough for me to say “Hey, I am BINGE WATCHING this drama the second Netflix drops it!” I had made plans to watch it (at whatever pace) with my husband, who LIVES for this type of horror supernatural action genre! Hell, he would have lived for Search too but he lived vicariously through me as I weekly recapped it.

... but episode one finished, Imagine Dragons’s Warrior still ringing through my head [despite yes I can see why it’s hella amusing to have THAT song as an action montage music queue] and the three biggest impressions made that forwarded me to binge it on my own belonged to the characters of Eun Hyuk, Yi Kyeong, and Hyun Soo. Eun Hyuk for how he handled that first monster and subsequently became that calm levelheaded person that I understand no one like but in a situation that they were in, he was needed to make the tough calls in order for their survival. Yi Kyeong’s boldness and bravery shocked and impressed me. And Hyun Soo... gosh he was certainly the tragic hero we certainly grew to love and want to protect, huh?

And I totally agree that one of the things that I loved and appreciated about Sweet Home was that, just like Search, they leaned into and embraced the horror and gore of the type of world they now lived in!

That doesn’t mean I won’t criticize either of or both of them because while I love both dramas, they weren’t perfect and definitely flawed. I mean, there are storytelling choices that they could have done better *cough* deaths that could have been avoided *cough* ... But  I am fond of both dramas and, as of this moment, it truly is hard for me to distinguish which one I prefer more.

[facemeandperish]

(( I’m going to do something a lttle different, and talk out of character about something that’s actually happened to ME, the person, and not talk out of character about mad shite.

I play LoL on EUNE, and I was Gold 4 up until 2 games ago, and I’ve noticed a pattern recently that genuinely baffles and concerns me, and I kinda want to see if anyone else has had this kind of experience on their own servers at the same time. I’ve heard all the jokes about EUNE being the haven of trolls, Polish rebels who never got the message that the Cold War is over, and out and out Nazis, but I’ve never experienced it in game. Like, sure, I’ve had games where my team has played awfully and the team chat devolves into abuse more times than I can count, but it’s rarely been actual out-and-out trolling or whatever, except since the last patch hit. I’m genuinely not kidding when I say that in the last 7 days I’ve had at least 20 games (out of probably 30 tops), where one of my team is either out-and-out racist in team or all chat, trolls harder than Trundle, goes afk for no reason or rage quits, or is from Bronze 1... In a Gold 4 game. I’ve genuinely not seen another player that’s in Gold on my team in the last 7 days. On the enemy team, all seems well, mostly Gold 4 or Silver 1 promo players, but my team seems to be infected.

According to a friend, Riot started a ‘winners and losers’ queue in ranked, so that if you win, you get placed with other winners in a queue for the next game, and the same with losers if you lose. BUT, Riot, with all their paste sniffing intellect, don’t seem to curate those queues in any way, so you can get players who just happened to lose a game, playing alongside players who afk’d from the last game because they got sore about getting ks’ed one time, and alongside THAT you’ve got a player with internet that came from Kim Jong Un himself, and just to add some joy, why not add a player who will scream about how Poland should be erased from the map and feed intentionally, and some poor bastard from Bronze who shouldn’t be there to begin with.

Has anyone else noticed this uptick in toxic bullshit, or should I be getting a fucking exorcist for my LoL client and filing some sort of restraining order against Riots’ idea of a good plan?

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

Just Like Candy

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Genre: Angst / Smut

Word Count: 2,791

A/N: I gave the lovey @cho-ji-eun the choice of starting a new imagine for her birthday or finishing the one I had already promised her. Needless to say she said the one I had already started for her, so here it is for my Ji Baby.

“Where’s Woojin? Isn’t he supposed to be your surprise guest?” You asked, plopping down onto the leather sofa and swinging your legs up onto it. Chan hummed in response, his fingers tapping at the keys on the keyboard, music beginning to pour from the speakers. He sighed, rolling back in his chair, your question finally registering as he looked at you.

“He’ll be here in a minute.” He rolled over to you, his gaze focused on your eyes, admiring the unique color they turned under the light of the room, “You sure you want to be in here while we run this live?” His knees met the sofa, his elbows coming to rest on his thighs as he leaned close to you.

“It’s okay, I’ll just play on my phone while you do your thing.” You watched as his cinnamon swirled irises fell to your lips, his tongue slowly swiping over his lips before pulling up into a smile, one that matched the devil’s, “What…?”

“Nothing. Just enjoying the thoughts that ran across my mind.”

“How about you let me on that.” You could see in his eyes that his thoughts weren’t exactly pure, but you were curious to see how risqué they were. His long fingers found their way to the back of your neck, pulling you to him, his lips grazing over your plumpness before the sound of the door opening made him sigh.

“I’m here, I’m here.” Woojin’s melodic tune filled the room as he rolled Chan out of the way to lift your legs and take the space next to you.

“You couldn’t have come like 30 minutes later?” Chan groaned, rolling back to the desk. You started to pull your legs to your square when Woojin rested his arms on your legs.

“You can keep them here, Y/N.” He gave you a gentle smile while his hands rubbed over your bare legs.

“O-okay…” You relaxed into the couch, pulling your phone out to unlock it. Chan’s blood started to boil when he noticed the way that Woojin was ogling you, catching the way that his eyes traced over your shape and you weren’t doing anything to stop him. Jealousy wasn’t something that he usually had to deal with, but watching another guy touch you made him so green-eyed.

“I’m about to start this.” He hissed turning back to the computer, his fingers typing in the website name and signing into it. You glanced over at him, your phone soon vibrating in your hand, telling you that Chan was going live. Insomnia played as Chan moved around in his chair, waving to his fans and jamming out the build-up to the chorus to the song.

But in the end, I get up again—I can’t sleep

“Woo!” Chan’s eyes were focused on the screen as he turned the music down a bit, “Hello everyone. Welcome to Chan’s room!” A wide smile spread over his lips while he made eye contact with the camera, his giggle soon spilling from his chest. As he waited for people to flood into the chat room, he kept an eye on you and Woojin; you noticed him glancing your way every few minutes, your heart skipping a beat every time your eyes met through greeting his fans. Your attention was quickly pulled to the feeling of a hand squeezing your thigh, making you gasp.

“Stop—you know I’m ticklish...” You whispered, attempting to stay as quiet as possible.

“And? Isn’t it about time for you to meet the fans?” He teased, digging his fingers into your flesh, knowing exactly where to grab to make you squeal, but you tried to escape Woojin’s grasp as you heard Chan start to talk.

“Hello, everyone. It’s 11:30 PM.” The laugh that came from Chan made you stop moving even though Woojin was still attacking your ticklish spots, “I came a bit late for you guys, I can’t remember whether I said this before, but I usually work at night. ” Chan continued to talk, trying to ignore the fact that Woojin was touching places on you that only he had ever touched before. He was mad, sure, but could he show that on camera, in front of all of the Stays that were watching at home? No, he couldn’t, but he knew one thing that would really piss you off, “Hello, Stay!” He waved at the camera once more, “Hello, Stay! Stay, who are also my baby girls.” He laughed a bit, letting his hands fall down into his lap, “Stays, if you girls are my baby girls, that would mean I’m your… da...ddy? Moving on!” The snap of your head from the side of the room caused a devilish smile to spread over his lips as he turned on the music.

What the…

You pushed Woojin’s hands from your body, your skin, and blood too hot to have his hands on you. You moved to the one side of the couch, pulling your legs up to your chest, your glare heavy on Chan as he acted like he did nothing wrong. The hour that the live lasted you held it together until he told the camera goodbye—and that's when you lost your cool.

“Thanks for joining me this time, Woojin.” Chan rolled back in his chair until he was next to Woojin who was relaxed in one of the leather chairs.

“No problem, I had fun.”

“I think Y/N and I are about to get some food, would you—”

“Actually, Chan...” You were quick to cut him off, your anger already about to spill over, “I need to have a talk with you before we do anything.”

“About?” He crossed his arms, a sly smile playing upon his lips.

“You damn well know what about.” You hissed, throwing your phone to the vacant side of the couch as you stood up.

“I think that’s my queue to leave.” Woojin mumbled as he got up from the chair.

“Wait, we’re about to go to eat.”

“Find me after you’ve had your talk...” Woojin left the room and with the click of the door, you walked over and locked the door, no one was going to mess up this conversation, and you were asking sure of that.

“What the hell kind of stunt was that, Chan?”

“Whatever do you mean?” He sighed rolling back to his spot in front of the desk.

“Are you really going to let Stays call you ‘daddy’?” He could sense the frustration in your voice without even having to look at you, he knew he hit a nerve and he was not the least bit sorry about it.

“Why does it matter if I do or don’t?” Chan stood from his chair to stretch, playing it off as if you were mad for no reason.

“Being called daddy means you have to be one and I don’t think you could be a daddy even if you tried.” The growled words caused him to move toward you, your body getting trapped between his hands and the wall. The spiciness of his cologne met your nose, turning the anger you harnessed into something else, something more carnal.

“You don’t think I can?” He growled, leaning into you, his hand leaving the wall for a moment to pull the hair that was covering your neck behind your ear. A fire crawled up into your cheeks, the carnal hunger that was growing inside you now spreading through your limbs, the heat between your thighs beginning to pool in the thinness of your underwear. Luscious lips pressed a gentle kiss to the tenderness of your neck, it sparking goosebumps over your skin, your breath got caught in your throat as you gripped the fabric of his black shirt, to feel a smile spread over his lips, “I guess you don't have an answer.” He pulled away from you, a chuckle erupting from his throat, the anger you once felt arising again.

“Seriously, Chan? Fucking own up to it if you're going to do it.” You growled, you hated the way he beat around the bush, it annoyed you to no end. Chan cupped your face, sliding his knee between your thighs—the good boy aura vanishing into an air that was darker, hungrier.

“You want me to punish you? You’ve been back talking a lot lately.” He ground his knee against your panty clad core, eliciting a whine from you.

“Please...” He gripped your hips, rocking them back and forth, making you ride his thighs.

“Don’t stop until I tell you to.” You nodded to his words, focusing on the friction his jeans were creating with yours, the way that the seam dug into the flesh of your pussy that was already aching for him without his fingers even touching you. His lips continued where they left off on your neck, hungry lips staining your skin shades of deep purple and red, marking your body—telling everyone that you were his and no one else’s. The constant digging from the seam your shorts over your throbbing clit was already bring you to your end, the messy rocking of your hips caught Chan’s attention while his lips trailed up your neck to the shell of your ear, “C’mon baby girl, I know you can ride better than that...” He whispered near your ear, the tight knot in your core making it hard to keep a steady pace.

“Chan, I can’t—”

“Is that so? My brat can’t even listen to me?” He pulled his leg from between yours to slip his hand into your shorts, past your panties to bury his fingers in between your slippery lips, “You’re getting wet so easily, Y/N. You all ready for me?” He dipped his fingers into your dripping core, them curling up into your sweet spot roughly, your already trembling legs feeling like they could give out under you at any moment, “You know the rules...” He hummed near your ear, “If you want to feel me, put me in your mouth, baby...” He pulled away with a sly smirk on his lips, your mouth watering to taste him. You dropped down to your knees, focusing on this hand roughly unbuttoning his pants, your excitement throbbing in your core, “If you think you’re gonna get off easy this time, you’re sadly mistaken, baby girl.”

“Is that so?” You kinked an eyebrow as he pulled his pants and boxers down just enough for his hard cock to spring free from the waistband.

“Don’t get cocky, Princess.” He gripped your chin, guiding his cock towards your mouth, “Open.” You opened your mouth, Chan calmly slid the tip onto your tongue, the rough sensation causing him to suck a breath in between his teeth. You knew Chan loved feeling your mouth wrapped around him and teasing him was your favorite thing—you hummed while swirling your tongue around his throbbing tip, his hips bucking at your sudden movement, “It’s not nice to tease.” He buried his hands into your hair, gripping your head as he hastily thrusted his hips into your mouth, sending his cock down your throat. You attempted to pull back from him, but he backed you up against the wall, using it to his advantage to use your mouth in whatever way he pleased; the burn in your lung screamed to breathe, but Chan didn’t look like he was going to be done anytime soon. His dark eyes were focused on his length buried past the plush of your lips, loving watching it grow as he pulled out of your mouth and disappear down your throat. Blistering tears ran down your cheeks, your tears finally pulling him out of his blissful moment to refocus on your face, “Are you ready to behave for daddy?” He gently caressed your cheeks as he pulled his throbbing cock from your lips, he ran his thumb over your reddened lips, smearing your drool mixed with his precum over your plumpness. Your fucked out expression fueled a hunger in him he’d never felt before, “Use your words, baby, otherwise I won’t let you cum.”

“Yes… daddy… I’m going to be a good girl now…” You batted your wet eyelashes up at him, catching a smile appear on his lips.

“Tell me what you want, princess…” His thumb ran over your lips once more, slipping into your mouth for your lips to wrap around it, your tongue searching for even a hint of his taste. Pulling his thumb from your mouth, you hummed, biting your lip a bit.

“I want your cock…” You popped up onto your knees, desperate hands sliding under his shirt to reveal soft forming abs, “I want to feel you…” Swollen lips pressed against his skin, making him groan, “Deep inside me… daddy… please…” You placed more kisses to his stomach, trailing down his defined V line to the base of his cock.

“Then bend over, baby girl.” You stood from your spot on the floor, quickly discarding your shorts and panties to bend over the arm of the couch, your ass high in the air. Chan walked over to the desk to open a drawer, a box of condoms slid to the front of it and he pulled one from the box before closing the drawer; he glanced over at your figure, your legs visibly shaking in anticipation of being able to feel him inside your aching core. He flicked his eyes back to the desk, his eyes catching the screen of the computer, the button to start a v-live flashing; what a perfect way to make this interesting. The subtle clicks of the keyboard held your attention for a moment as the sound of music began to pour from the speakers as well as a quiet ding from your phone.

Hold on… that’s the—

“Sorry Stays, I decided I couldn’t stay away for too long, how about another jam session?” You turned your head towards Chan to see him waving at the camera, every hair stood on end as all of your senses focused on your arousal dripping from your slick folds.

“You’re back? Is this a joke?” Chan read aloud, a stifled chuckle attempted to escape him.

“Hm… I don’t think so, but I have something to finish up so, bare with me for a few minutes.” Chan slipped out of the frame of the camera while ripping the condom open as quietly as possible and rolling it down onto his length; his cold fingers brushed against the bare skin of your ass, making you gasp as he took the spot behind you.

“Chan? What are you doing?” You whispered loud enough for him to hear, his body hovered over yours while he slipped his cock between your dripping wet folds.

“If you don’t want to get caught, you better not make any noise...” He guided his cock to your throbbing hole and thrusted his hips into you, making your body jerk from the pressure of him hitting your cervix. Chan gripped your hips tightly, the sound of his skin meeting yours got lost behind the loud music that came from the speakers, but it sounded so much louder to you; you gripped at the cushions as Chan’s relentless pace attacked your sensitive spots, you were so close to your release, so close that you almost let out grunts and groans that could give you away. Chan could sense you were about to unravel around him, your walls bore down on him hard enough that he could cum at any minute himself, but cumming before you wasn’t something he was going to do, “C’mon, baby girl… Cum for daddy…” He breathed, your core tightening up around him at his words; he leaned down, wrapping his arm around your waist, his hand immediately finding your aching clit. You growled into the pillow on the couch while he rolled your swollen nub between his fingers and teased your sweetest of spots, your high flooding your body as you felt the pulsing of his cock inside you, his own orgasm taking over him, “Fuck…” He hissed, burying his face into your shoulder, his cock pouring every drop he had into the condom; he pressed gentle kisses to your neck while he pulled out, the condom getting stuck inside your core. He watched as his cum dripped out of the latex, it starting to pool up on the floor under you.

“Chan…” You whispered, his voice quick to hush you.

“Relax, baby girl.” He pressed a kiss to your ass before speaking loudly, “Alright guys...” Pulling up his pants he began to return back to the computer; he plopped down into the computer chair, a smile pasted onto his lips, “What should we listen to?”

[letterboxd]

Brief takes with… Bong Joon-ho

“Even the trash can was expensive.” —The Parasite director on Psycho, facial mud-masks and not scratching the furniture.

“2019 is over and Parasite has freakin’ ended it all.” —Hungkat

“I haven't been this physically ravaged by a film in a long, long time.” —Owen

“Bong is leading a new chapter in cinema.” —Xan

It was never too early to call Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite a masterpiece. We knew back in May, when the #BONGHIVE hashtag was born in a Cannes queue and the festival reactions started. Soon after, Parasite became the first Korean film to win the coveted Palme d’Or. The wild class satire is the highest-rated narrative feature film on Letterboxd in 2019, our highest-rated film of the past decade (news the director was happy to hear), and, as many have recommended, best seen with as little prior information as possible.

Unless, of course, you’re a mega-stan of director Bong, in which case it will suit you to know certain things: frequent collaborators are back, most notably Song Kang-ho, who leads Parasite’s ensemble with thrilling focus and wild abandon; the highly specific cinephilic inspirations; and the production design, which is meticulous to the point where it was a budgetary issue, as we discovered when we put a few questions to Bong Joon-ho this week.

You’ve already talked a lot about the production design of Parasite, but since these spaces are essential to the psychology of the story, please tell us more about the two houses: the Kim family’s cramped basement apartment, the Park family’s minimalist mansion (designed by fictional architect “the great Namgoong”). Bong Joon-ho / 봉준호: Most of the narrative happens in two spaces, and all the houses you see in the film—the rich house, poor house, neighborhood surrounding the poor house—were built from scratch. For the rich house, I already had a basic sketch of the structure as I wrote the script. I had specific requirements in terms of what the characters would or would not be able to see from certain positions, where they could eavesdrop, how they would move from one position to the next, and the like. I handed that rough sketch to the production designer [Lee Ha-jun], and he worked with actual architects to ensure that the house looks beautiful and believable, while meeting all my demands.

Also, the DP [Hong Kyung-pyo] and I wanted to use natural sunlight as much as possible, so we observed the sun’s position throughout the day to determine the direction and design of the house. In terms of interior design, the production designer filled the space with very expensive furniture, props, and décor; even the trash can was expensive. I remember the production designer and line producer being very anxious on set and pleading with us to be careful not to scratch anything as most of them were rented.

Actor Song Kang-ho on the set of ‘Parasite’.

For the poor neighborhood, the art and set department actually visited neighborhoods scheduled to be redeveloped, and went inside abandoned homes to take the doors, window sash, tiles, and other materials to build the set with. They ended up adding a realistic texture to the neighborhood; even Korean audiences didn’t realize it was all built. And due to the flood sequence, we had to build it in a water tank. We filled it up with water on the last two days of shooting there. We added in facial mud masks to give the water that sewage color. Great skincare for my actors.

What film is the definition of a South Korean masterpiece? The 1960 film The Housemaid by Kim Ki Young is a true Korean masterpiece. The film was restored by Martin Scorsese’s The Film Foundation and screened at Cannes Classics. It’s also available in the Criterion Collection.

You’ve talked before about how 1970s American cinema inspired you to become a filmmaker. Can you name some specific films that particularly made you go “this is what I have to do”? I watched many films by John Carpenter, Brian de Palma, Sam Peckinpah, but ultimately, all these filmmakers are part of the Hitchcock lineage. Hitchcock still remains as one of my biggest inspirations.

Director Bong at work on the set of ‘Parasite’.

Did you catch The Irishman yet? I’m dying to see The Irishman. I really cannot wait.

What’s your go-to comfort movie? The one that you’ll always put on, no matter what, and how many times do you think you’ve seen it? I’ve watched Psycho more than 50 times. Also, Tim Burton’s Ed Wood, Jonathan Demme’s The Silence of the Lambs, and David Fincher’s Zodiac.

Finally, we’d like you to name some newer-generation directors that the Letterboxd community should have our eyes on. Ari Aster (Hereditary, Midsommar), Ali Abbasi (Border, Shelley), Yoon Ga Eun (The World of Us, The House of Us), and Jennifer Kent (The Babadook, The Nightingale). (See the Letterboxd list.)

‘Parasite’ is in select US cinemas now. With thanks to NEON.

[a-cai-jpg]

this is a very stilted post.

I have a collection of songs that make me cry.

I'm not in the habit of playing them very often. I don't even save them in my YouTube favorites, or my wormhole of a Spotify account. I kind of leave it up to fate for the familiar melody and lyrics to find me again, and on days where I feel especially brave, I'll queue it up on a drive. But only on a drive.

I watched a variety show about songwriters a few months back, and one of my favorite contestants said something along the lines of, "I think everyone has a theme that they just can't touch."

Sometimes, it's because the pain is still too raw. Sometimes, it's because we're too fearful to truly reckon with the sorrow, unwilling to drink it in, let it roll around in our mouths as the bitter flavor penetrates our tongue, and feel it burn on the way down.

I don't listen to the songs often because I'm afraid I'll become desensitized, that the most humane and most compassionate part of me will become numb.

But also because I'm not in the business of seeking out pain.

I used to be obsessed with tragedy, chasing it with a sort of masochistic relish because I thought you could never be as human as you were when you cried. It's kind of like why people really like those sad, touching Thai commercials that make you bawl your eyes out without fail every time.

But as I grew older, I realized there really is something that I can't touch. Sometimes, I tongue the edges of it, prodding with caution, but only on very, very rare occasions do I peel away the protective layer. There are some things I can't watch, can't listen to too closely, or else I'll feel myself unravel around the edges.

And not gonna lie, but now is not a time I'm willing to tug at the ends of the thread. So instead, I'll let a past me do that.

When I was a sophomore in university, I submitted a monologue for the annual Asian cultural show. It was submitted anonymously, because at the time, it wasn't something I was ready to talk about.

(it still isn't, but i have gotten more practice talking about it in the years that have elapsed.)

See, what had happened was, I was watching Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo (disappointment of my life, sorry the Chinese version is better even though the Korean cast is bEaUtIfUl), and suddenly, I had a mini-panic attack about death.

It was the dumbest thing. I was watching Park Soondeok try to woo Wang Eun, and the silly girl--bless her heart--hunted a whole bear to express her love for him. I remember the scene had startled me, because she popped on screen with a bear skin covering her body. And I was like, "Uh that's like, a lot of bad karma right."

And I don't really know how karma works, but I suddenly remembered something that my grandmother had said a long time ago. She said that she was a sinner, because she's "killed" so much for our family.

In Chinese, the words she used were 杀生, which literally means "kill life" but generally, animal life.

She said it because she is the main chef of our family. Whenever she visited China, our family would go through a bit of crisis because that meant either my grandfather cooked or my mom's boyfriend cooked.

Once, my grandfather served me Palmier cookies and the same fried rice we'd eaten for a week for dinner. Often, my mom's boyfriend chopped up carrots and celery to dip with ranch for dinner.

It was great.

(no, but our family barely functioned when my grandmother was gone. those six months would be us sitting silently around the dinner table, daring each other to be the first to try a dish.)

Weirdly, that little thing she said stuck with me. And in that moment, sophomore year of college, sitting in my top bunk watching Scarlet Heart Ryeo, I panicked.

I can't really dissect why I panicked. But the result was this ridiculous plan that I had to stop eating meat for the rest of my life to collect all the good karma for my grandmother.

(yeah, so that didn't last because I literally got sausages that weekend cus hello, continental breakfast.)

It wasn't that I never thought about death or my family members dying before then. In the second grade, I read a story about the friendship between a squirrel and a leaf, and cried and cried and cried when the story ended and the leaf died, not because the leaf died but because the leaf promised to be reborn, and would be reborn at the turn of the year, but humans wouldn't be.

But for some reason, all of the separate moments of panic and fear dispersed over a decade culminated in that moment, as I watched Soodeok pull the bearskin off of her head, and I started crying so hard I couldn't breathe.

So I wrote a monologue. The original draft was very, very long and very, very detailed, and I probably went through half a box of tissues writing it. I eventually cut it down and didn't save the first copy because I never wanted to read it again.

The theme of the monologue comes up every time I talk about my Chinese American identity. It comes up in personal statements, in creative narratives, in discussion groups, and in the Facebook likes I dish out whenever I see a relevant Subtle Asian Traits post. It's the sense of biculturalism and the accompanying endeavor to somehow reconcile my reality with that of my immigrant parents and grandparents. It's the weary acceptance that ultimately, there may be no reconciliation, and all that's left is regret.

Whenever someone asks me what my favorite food is, I would say spring onion noodles. But this is the funny part--I will never order them in a restaurant. Some time in middle school, I went on a family trip with my extended relatives in China. Every time we stopped to eat, my aunt would order me a bowl of spring onion noodles because she knew I loved it so much, and every time, I would make a face and say, "Grandma does it better."

See, I don't know if she actually does. I just knew I liked hers more.

After my grandmother returned to China, I started making spring onion noodles myself, because it tasted more like home even if I never got it right.

I also really like dumplings. My grandma makes the best dumplings, but I'm afraid to ask her to make them, because the last time I did, they were too salty. Now, I'm afraid to ask her to make spring onion noodles too, because maybe my memories tasted better than the real thing.

But the real, real reason I'm scared is that I'm scared she's getting old. I'm scared her tastebuds are not the same as they were when she lived in Monterey Park, cooking in our second floor kitchen.

In my senior year of college, I called my grandmother for the first time on my own. The moment I heard her voice, staticky over the long distance call, I started crying, and it was stupid because I had to pretend I wasn't crying and I was trying to talk normally and it was awful because it was the kind where your voice came in hiccupy stutters, and she definitely knew I was crying because she kept asking, "Why did you call? What's wrong?" while acting casual, for my sake.

When I was in the eighth grade, I was walking a friend's German Shepherd that ended up dragging me across the pavement in the park. It's a story I tell a lot, because it is truly hilarious in hindsight, but the ending goes like this:

I go home crying, because my glasses broke and I have cuts on the back of my left hand and down my face. I take a bath, something I grew out of doing years ago, and my grandmother doesn't reprimand me. She sits next to me and speaks in that vaguely disapproving voice of her, the tone of so many old Asian ladies, and tells me that life is hard and you will meet people that you don't get along with, but you just have to suck it up. And I start crying harder, because she cared.

That day, she also followed me from the front door of our house to my mom's master bathroom, asking, "What's wrong?"

We talk a lot about the Chinese zodiac in our household, more when my grandmother and grandfather still lived with us, but my aunt brought it up a few days ago. In the Chinese zodiac, the ox and the sheep are foils to each other--me and my grandmother. When I was little, I would say, "Ugh, this is why we fight so often." A few days ago, my mom said, "That's why you and grandma never got along," and I stayed silent.

I sometimes tell people that my grandmother is more like my mother figure, and my mom is more like an older sister. And my mom hates it. But, it's because everything that others associate with an Asian mom, I associate with my grandmother. All the memes about immigrant mother bringing their children peeled and cut fruit are about my grandmother, fending off my complaints about having to eat apples every single day, and stubbornly bringing me sliced apples and pears. All the stories about immigrant parents expressing their love through the words "Come eat. Food is ready," is my grandmother who singlehandedly kept her family together through sheer will and a kitchen stove.

Sometimes, when I'm brave enough to talk to people about how I feel about her, I would say that I would gladly give her half of the rest of my life, just so we can leave together. I'm scared her life would be less than perfect, and I wish I made money earlier so I can take her to Cambridge and Rome, but I'm also scared that I'm selfish and weak and unable to give her what she really wants.

Anyways.

Four tissues later, here's the monologue:

I am obsessed with time.

I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the second hand moves relentlessly in an endless loop on the face of an old clock. I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the mention of it tightens my throat, squeezing until the pressure travels to my heart and lungs, and finally settling somewhere deep in my gut.

I was told that time is linear. The Second Law of Thermodynamics. Chaos and disorder grow infinitely—there is no going back.

When I was little and time was but a tiny grain of sand in a large, foreboding hourglass, I believed in guardian angels. They were the ones who caught me tumbling from a swing, having flown too high on my too weak wings. They were the ones who waited outside the gates of my elementary school—a familiar face of comfort floating amidst a crowd of foreign visages. They were the ones who promised me plates and plates of hand-wrapped dumplings, and most importantly, they were the only ones who could cook spring onion noodles with a sunny side up egg the way I liked it, and no restaurant could ever hope to get the taste just the same.

But also, when I was little, I believed that guardian angels existed outside of time. They were immortal, they gave me life. But as the number of years they conferred to me increased, they seemed to become more and more human.

Sometimes, I’d blink, and for a terrifying moment, I’d catch glimpse of an elderly couple, backs hunched and hair splattered with grey, standing in my kitchen.

This is me, a girl obsessed with time. I had the liberty of being born and raised in the United States. My Chinese immigrant parents labored long days at work, and my grandparents were given the roles as my primary caretakers.

My grandfather was the quiet one, a retired electrical engineer who made it his mission to somehow teach me to love mathematics. My grandmother was the loud one, previously a librarian—the irony, I know—who never went to college but could calculate prices of groceries faster than I could pull out a calculator. I grew up dancing around their peculiar dynamic, seesawing back and forth between going ant-watching with my grandfather as I recited the Chinese timestables and trying to finish too many platters of food my grandmother piled in front of me as she told me stories of life back in China—in the good old days.

Growing up in California, it was inevitable that I saw the United States as home to both me and my family. It was where I had spent nearly two decades of my life—and where my mother, grandmother, and grandfather had spent nearly two decades of their lives.

And yet, two decades was not nearly enough time. Space could not be reconciled, and time was rendered obsolete.

Home, for them, was not our little town in the suburbs of LA. When my father passed away, my mother said, “We don’t have enough money to bring him home.” She’d said it carelessly in front of me, perhaps thinking 6-year-old me wouldn’t notice, let alone understand. But 6-year-old me did. Home, I realized, for them wasn’t home for me.

The thought was terrifying. I realized that there will come a time, when I’d return home, and it wouldn’t be the same place my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather returned to.

I began to play with the idea of condensing time and space. How great it would be, if home was simultaneously California and China. Time differences, traveling time, the Pacific Ocean would be utterly abolished, and our hearts would return home together.

But time flew by and the pile of sand grains at the bottom of the hourglass grew without my noticing. I hadn’t yet the chance to tell my grandparents about my meditation on time and space, and suddenly, my grandfather decided to return home. Time had seemed to warp, fastforwarding the years I’d taken for granted, and now refusing to slow down.

Here’s the thing—I do not wish to be selfish. I want my family to be happy—to return home—but I am terrified that my own fragile notion of home will shatter in return.

Because the reality is, home isn’t physical space. Home is, in all truthfulness, time. Time I’d spent with my family, and the years I have left to spend with them.

I’d let time slip through my fingers as I tried to come up with this theory of “home.” I’d tried to condense “home” into a condominium, apartment D, a large peach tree shading the backyard. Yet now, the tree has been cut down, and my mother speaks of moving to a city forty minutes away. What then, I ask myself, is home?

Home is the promises I’d made to my grandparents—promises I’m no longer sure I can keep because I cannot cover large enough distances with so little time. Home is the way I could never tell them “I love you,” and the regret that builds in my heart as I realize that home is a ticking time bomb that threatens to throw the world into chaos. Entropy increases. Things fall apart.

In a little bit, home will be too many miles away, too many hours away, for me to return to. Home will be in a foreign city surrounded by a peculiar amalgamation of unfamiliar modernity and history she’d lived through. Home will be on the opposite shore of an ocean I cannot swim across, with no one to cook spring onion noodles for.

I am a girl obsessed with time. I’d been blessed with a lot of time, and yet, I’d tossed it all out of the window of my second story bedroom. I am a girl obsessed with time, and I’d trade in my soul for it to reverse, so I can make home a little more concrete, a little more happy, a little more lasting. I am a girl obsessed with time, and when I wake up 2:30 in the morning, I think I can see the sands rushing down the chute of the hourglass, and the sight of it tears me apart.

I am a girl obsessed with time, and I would like to apologize to my beloved mother, grandmother, and grandfather for taking so much of it for granted. If I had another run at these eighteen years, I only hope to reach this conclusion sooner and fulfill my promises.

Dear grandma and grandpa,

I am a girl obsessed with time. Every day, I pray to God to give you a little more. How had the time flown by so quickly? Was yesterday not the day you brought me on the airplane for the first time? I can still taste the juice of the grapes a stranger had given us—snacks for the little girl—in the back of my tongue. Yet now I’m no longer the toddler you held in your arms. Grandma and grandpa, time is rushing by on a train I cannot seem to catch. Will you forgive me for reaching our home a little too late?

Love.

(i included my favorite part in a creative narrative project i did for a class in college. if you want to hear it in my voice: here.) (pls don’t click for the sake of my voice bc i sound like a literal duck. click for my grandparents wandering around hangzhou.) (also, if it is different its cus i tried to fit it in somehow with a longer poem i was writing.) (i don’t like poems.)

The reason I wrote this isn't that I wanted to pick at a scab. I heard a song recently, from the same songwriter variety show, that I had blindsided a few months back. I heard it at around 1 am in the morning, and I cried.

Here is the collection of songs:

橘子 by 邓见超

考试考得好不好啊？ how did you do on your test? 有没有拿到大红花 did you get the big red flower? 老师夸我是个乖仔啊 my teacher said i was a good kid 奶奶自己保重圣体吧 grandma, take care of yourself 长大了 出息了 要晓得回家 when you grow older and do big things, remember to come home 别忘了这里的青山和路弯 don't forget the green mountains and windy roads here 记得要带一瓶辣椒在身上 remember to bring with you a bottle of peppers 还时常跟妈妈报平安 and often let your mom know you're doing fine ... 房子旁两棵树都被砍掉了 the two trees by our house have been cut off 墙上还贴着小时候的奖状 my childhood awards are still plastered on the walls 一个字一个字 好像昨天啊 each word, each word, like it was just yesterday 宝贝儿子啊 吃饭了 son, it's time for dinner 再不回家妈妈要教训你了 if you don't come home now, mom's going to be mad 这个淘气的孩子跑去那里玩了 this mischievous kid, where did he go? 找他都找不到人了 i'm looking for him, but i can't find him.

一荤一素 by 毛不易

一张小方桌 有一荤一素 a small, square table with one vegetable and one meat 一个身影从容地忙忙碌碌 a figure good-naturedly bustling about 一双手让这时光有了温度 a pair of hands allowed this time some warmth 太年轻的人 他总是不满足 the one who is too young, he's not satisfied 固执地不愿停下 远行的脚步 stubbornly unwillingly to stop the footsteps traveling far away 望着高高的天走了长长的路 looking at the far, far sky; walking a long, long road 忘了回头看 她有没有哭 he forgot to turn around to see if she's crying 月儿明 风儿轻 >the moon is clear, the wind is light 可是你在敲打我的窗棂 is it you, knocking on my window? 听到这儿你就别担心 now that you've listened till here, please don't worry 其实我过的还可以 actually, i'm doing okay ... 你又可曾来过我的梦里 have you been to my dreams lately? 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 知道我睡得轻 knowing that i sleep lightly 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 怕我再想起你 afraid i'll miss you

父亲 by 筷子兄弟

时光时光慢些吧不要再让你变老了 time, time, please slow down. don't let you grow any older 我愿用我一切换你岁月长留<<br>i'm willing to trade everything i have for more years and months for you ... 微不足道的关心收下吧 please accept my inadequate care for you 谢谢你做的一切双手撑起我们的家 thank you for holding up our family with your hands 总是竭尽所有把最好的给我 always doing everything to give me the best ... 我是你的骄傲吗还在为我而担心吗 am i your pride? do you still worry for me? 你牵挂的孩子啊长大啦 the child you think of has grown up now.

时间都去哪了 by 王铮亮 (this is a cover)

时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好感受年轻就老了 haven't even truly experienced youth, and i'm already old 生儿养女 一辈子 took care of children my entire lfe 满脑子都是孩子哭了笑了 all i can hear is the cries and laughter of children 时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好看看你眼睛就花了 haven't even looked at you carefully yet, and my vision is already blurring

if only... by ozi

如果可以把時間退後 if i can rewind time 別讓命運把妳給帶走 i won't let fate take you away 對妳能說著我最近做些什麼 i want to be able to tell you what i've been doing these days 希望別再錯過 i hope i won't miss it again 如果可以讓我跟她說 if only i can just tell her 願意付出我所有為了 i'm willing to trade everything i have 能換一點時間just to see you again for a little time just to see you again 別再擔心著我 so you don't have to worry about me anymore

[libertasrpg]

We welcome Rosetta Linden to the city. She’s 26 years old and is a florist and botanist. Ro is often mistaken for Debby Ryan. She’s open.

→ Background Information

As many would expect, Rosetta is an only child. With a ex-pageant queen for a mother and a politician for a father, she was taught from a young age about the importance of looks and a good reputation. She’d watch as her father would play nice with others in person, and then complain about their views behind their back. Because of this, Ro wasn’t very well liked as a kid. She would do exactly what her father did - Play nice with other kids, and then gossip about them behind their backs. Obviously everything comes around though and she slowly started to lose friends. So, as she’s grown, Rosetta has had to made a conscious effort to move away from this habit.

→ Living Situation

Thanks to her upbringing, Rosetta saw living with a roommate as something that was below her standards. She’s not a college student anymore. Why should she have to queue for a bathroom? So, Ro lives alone. It’s probably for the best anyway. Rosetta is very precise about the way her home looks. She’s the kind of person who brings in a decorator at Christmas to set up fancy looking lights and an unnaturally good looking tree. Ro takes decorating very seriously. 

→ Relocation Explanation

Rosetta had always wanted to study floristy. It had taken a lot of persuading to get her parents to fund her degree in botany so she knew there was little chance to get them to pay for her florist course.  Eventually she managed to get them to come around but it was on the condition that she’s able to find a job immediately after. If she’s unable to find a job that uses her new qualification, she’d have to pay her parents back for her tuition fee. Now Rosetta is incredibly prideful. After graduating, she struggled to find an appropriate job for her but that wasn’t going to stop her. Her parents never said the job had to be in their town. While she didn’t want to move away from the bank of Mommy and Daddy, she definitely didn’t want to lose the bet. The first job she found that would use both of her qualifications? In Libertas.

→ Her Personality

There’s no one quite like Rosetta. She really leaves an impression on those meeting her for the first time. Ro has a certain way of talking that, even when she’s trying to compliment, it can sometimes come out like an insult. She likes things done a certain way and, unless it’s with fashion, she doesn’t like straying from the set path. Her wardrobe is very cutting edge and cute though. Ro is always introducing her friends to new styles and loves nothing more than dressing her companions. She’ll often turn up on doorsteps with something new for them to try (accompanied by a bouquet of flowers in the other hand to soften the surprise visit).

→ Her Qualities

Flirty, charming, stylish

Stubborn, vain, uptight

→ Her Relationships

Sol Eun-ha, Fawn Hawk & Iridessa Lyte (Friends): Because of her behaviour as a child, it’s been a very long time since Ro had a girl group. But she couldn’t image her life without her friends now. On her first night in Libertas, Rosetta headed out for a couple of celebratory drinks by herself. It was while in the queue, alone, for the toilets that the friendly Iridessa started talking to her. Dessa then took Ro took meet Fawn, who then introduced everyone to Han. It was an incredibly lucky series of events that brought them together and Rosetta is so grateful for that. They all help to keep her grounded and in check - she needs that.

Terence Curie (Acquaintance): Terence sounds like a decent guy. Rosetta’s heard about him and met him once or twice through the other girls. Obviously Ro has a bit of a soft spot for him. He’s a very good-looking and friendly guy. Annoyingly for Rosetta though, he’s not interested in her. She tries not to let it get her ego down too much.

→ Possible Connections

Bryoni Tinker (Acquaintance): Rosetta and her friends sometimes stop in at the restoration store that Bryoni works in. She’s a nice girl, and easily fits in with the dynamic of the group. This was a huge relief for Ro. She’s incredibly protective of her friends and didn’t want a stranger coming in who was going to ruin the structure. Thankfully, it’s like Bry has always been one of them.

Vanessa Bloome (Boss & acquaintance): Rosetta never expected to find somewhere she could use both her degrees but she was delighted when she found Blooming Lovely online. Vanessa’s a really nice person to work for too. She’s very kind and understanding. They’ve built a bond over Ros helping her with her fashion sense.

Barry Benson (Acquaintance): Barry is a regular face in the florists. Rosetta doesn’t quite understand Vanessa’s feelings towards him, but he seems like a pretty decent guy. She could always be doing worse. Personally though, he isn’t Ro’s cup of tea.

Rosetta is based on Rosetta the garden fairy from the Tinker bell franchise.

[kdramafacination]

So. dramafever shutting down still has me worried about other drama sites closing, but I can’t let that rob me of my love for my dramas. 

I started watching 2007′s “Que Sera Sera“ a few nights ago. I’ve had it on my queue for a long time, but the reviews on dramafever worried me enough to keep me from actually starting it. After dramafever‘s disappearing act  I went somewhere else and saw the drama available there. I started reading reviews and saw that there were a couple that said Que Sera Sera wasn’t that heavy. I love Eric Mun, and since I had waited and waited to watch this drama, that review was all I needed to launch me into watching it. I finished it last night and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I’m a sucker for melodramas. I always intend to watch something lighter but my true self steers me towards melodramas like magnet to metal. 

This drama sort of nearly killed me. I DID love it.

I meant to take screenshots of every episode but  didn’t because I was WATCHING it too much to be able to do that. 

Eric Mun  and Jung yu-mi shine in their acting. Lee kyu-han and Yoon ji-hye are just as good in their second male lead and female lead parts, and the rest of the cast is good. I hesitate to use the terms “second leads“ though, because this is a multilayered (and yet very up front one dimensional) drama. But really there is never any doubt who the main players are regarding love, with a capital L. Eric Mun, as Kang Tae-joo is slick, yet rough, and when we first meet him and over the next few episodes, he (shouldn’t be) isn’t likeable. But of course this is a drama, and one of the main reasons I love and watch them is so I can like male leads I shouldn't like. 🙂

I liked Han Eun-soo, the female lead. She was sweet and thoughtful and innocent without being irritating, and she was a little odd which is always endearing. I think Jung yu-mi played the part perfectly.

Cha hye-rin (second female lead, if you will) is played brilliantly by Yoon ji-hye. I felt sorry for her because of her would be relationship with her step brother, and I also wanted her to stop all the damage she was causing to herself because of that love. I felt her hurt and anger and the fact that she couldn’t control things. She really excelled at showing her panic and hurt and anger. When the time finally came for Kang Tae-joo to tell her “lets just stop while we can" it felt like she WAS the character she was portraying.

Han Eun-soo’s feelings for Kang tae-joo at the beginning are tangible and convincing, going from serious crush to love, and that never changes. At one point early on, she says to him brokenly that she “is filled with him to her fingertips” and you can see how badly she’s fallen for him even though he’s the way he is. 

Joon-hyuk started out by gaining my sympathy as the adopted son, and stepbrother to Hye-rin, a stepsister and stepbrother who are in love, but can’t be together because the parents don't approve. But he also made me angry for not being willing to be as strong as Hye-rin, and throw his fears and greed away and go for it. In the end I disliked him yet still felt badly (a little) for him. But I liked the kind Joon-hyuk from earlier in the drama far more than the sarcastic scheming one later on.

Even though Hye-rin is strong and strong willed enough to defy her parents (and friends and the public’s) with their disapproval, Joon-hyuk is not. When he repeatedly tells her that there is no hope, she turns to Tae Joo  and asks him to be her fiancée. She knows his past, knows he’s pretty much a gigolo, or at least willing to date for some perks. Usually fast cars, watches, vacations, you get the picture. But he doesn’t agree, he’s pretty choosy and doesn’t like messy entanglements, plus he has no desire to sleep with her. Already here I think, the seeds of Eun-soo love are growing, but because of added glitz to Hye-Rin's offer, and his own nature, in the end he does agree, and they embark on a scheme to fool everyone around Hye-rin, especially her family, and especailly the man (Joon-hyuk) who she really loves. Hye-rin hopes her fake fiancée will make her family stop trying to marry her off and that her fake engagement will get her some peace from forced arranged dates, but her parents do not like Tae-joo although her father admires his ability to reign Hye-rin in. What Hye-rin really wants is to make Joon-hyuk  so jealous that he is willing to make a go of it with her in spite of the opposition from her mother and father. She wants him to see that if she can make her parents accept Tae-joo, then she can convince them that Joon-hyuk would be even better, and her parents wil be relieved she's with Joon instead of this loser Tae-joon. She's trying to make Joon-hyuk be willing to fight for them. Then she will throw Tae-joo aside, and he was only a pretend fiancee anyway.

Tae-joo is a pawn in her game, not only a consort. He doesn’t know that she and her stepbrother Joon-hyuk were in love, and doesn’t know that hye-rin is using him to make Joon-hyuk jealous. He only thinks it's to fool her parents. He does find out the truth before too long though.

Meanwhile Eun-soo is heartbroken. She had grown on Tae-joo. He had agreed in a way (like someone indulging a kid) that they were "dating (two meals, a kiss, shared elevator rides, you get the picture) but also because tae-joo, even though he barely realized it yet, had begun to like her. But that only lasted about two weeks, and then along cane Hye-rin with her offer of money and position, and off our fickle Tae-joo went. I think inside he didn't want to acknowledge that the steel cool Tae-joo could actually fall for someone, much less an innocent like Eun-soo. Eun-soo is perfect in her confusion and betrayal, and ultimate acceptance that she simply wasn’t the type of girl for a man like Tae-joo.

Hye-rin’s father’s Shopping Mall is the background for a lot of the drama because it’s where all four main leads end up working. Needless to say, Joon-hyuk meets and falls for Eun-soo, which only enrages Hye-rin who knows that Tae-joo really does care about Eun-soo as well. So now both of "her men" are in love with Eun-soo, only Tae-joo refuses to admit it to himself, or Eun-soo.

However....

Tae-joo cannot deal with seeing Joon-hyuk and Eun-soo become a couple, but Eun-soo, even though she still loves Tae-joo, finds comfort with the kind Joon-hyuk. But by now Hye-rin has stopped loving Joon-hyuk, and really does fall for Tae-joo, who is losing his mind over his feelings for Eun-soo.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

When (episode 9 and 10 wow!!) they finally get together it's so perfect. When they return home to face Hye-rin and Joon-hyuk, and Eun-soo's mom as well....I knew it was too good to be true.

Hye-rin taunts Eun-soo that it won't last because Tae-joo won't be happy and then Hye-rin gets her father to tempt Tae-joo with money and power. Eun-soo's sister is sick and they need money for the Drs, and suddenly everything goes south and Tae-joo leaves Eun-soo again. So stupid.

Lots of sorrow, anger, episodes of angst. Tae-joo never stops loving Eun-soo but those episodes! 😪

In the end it felt to me that Hye-rin and Joon-hyuk hadn't come out better for the fire they had been through, but Tae-joo had. He wasn't living for money anymore, he had truly fallen in love with Eun-soo and her only. He accepted that he lost her and was a better person in his life. Eun-soo doesn't really change, she is still sweet and she hasn't become bitter. She is sorry she hurt Joon-hyuk and she is still trying to be a good sister and daughter. And she never stopped loving Tae-joo.

I'm glad we had a happy ending. 😌

I think the actors were perfect for their characters. It’s definitely filled with a rollercoaster of emotions.  I would finish one episode and click on the next one immediately. I think I dreamed about it.

There are plot twists, romantic and not that I didn't see coming. There were several times when I covered my mouth with my hand and was like "no way!" And those moments are what make this drama (to me) one that stands out. I really enjoyed it. Ok I was obsessed with it.

I wasn’t sorry to see it come to an end. I was ready to see how it was going to resolve itself and what was going to happen to the people I’d become so obsessed with. I was so afraid of what the ending would be.

Now that I can breathe easily and I know what happens, I will watch it more slowly just to enjoy everything. The first time I was on the edge of my seat so much. I honestly plan to watch it back to back and this second time around I'll savour it and just immerse myself in the story without the worry.

This older drama wasn't and isn't for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people don't like it. But I really did/ do.

[impivus]

very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything 

aka im lazy 

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 )  years old .  some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL &  MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us .  ⇢  SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE  /  entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN  /  scorpio   ENNEAGRAM TYPE  /  7w8 KINSEY SCALE  /  3 MORAL ALIGNMENT /  chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS. 

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust . 

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free?  eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ??  i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once ..  have a hort  he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage.   queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger.  all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird )  that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic. 

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped. 

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu 

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away. 

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do 

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr: 

[hunterclub739]

10.15 Lol

M-audio pro tools m-powered 8. League of Legends Patch 10.15 will arrive on Wednesday, July 22, 2020, with down time usually between 2-5 hours for the patch to officially hit live servers. Excitement is brewing, and we're excited! Keep it here with EarlyGame as we continue to bring you more updates around the forthcoming patch. League of Legends – World Championship – 10/15 – Breakdown – LoL DFS. Who’s ready for some League of Legends, Playmakers! Robbie Catterton here, ready to provide all of you the information necessary to compete consistently in the unpredictable, crazy and awesome world that we call eSports! Wukong. Ableton plugins free.

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10.15 Lol Changes

Lol 10.15 Release

Ban Cap Nhat 10.15 Lol

Lol 10.15 Shen

10.15 Lol Tft

Good news everyone! Server maintenance for our next patch, Patch 10.15, has been scheduled!

On July 22nd

10.15 Lol Changes

at 3:00 am PT for NA,5:00 UK time for EUW, and 3:00 CET for EUNE, servers will go down for maintenance and the 10.15 patch will be applied! The official patch schedule can also be found here! Here's NA announcement from the server status page:

'Starting at 07/22/2020 01:30 PDT Ranked Queues will be disabled in preparation for patch 10.15. At 07/22/2020 03:00 PDT the servers will be shut down and all games currently in progress will end in a draw and stats will not be recorded. We estimate the battlegrounds will be unavailable for 3 hours.'

Be sure to check your particular servers status page for your region's specific 10.15 maintenance times:

(NA, EUW, EUNE, BR, TR, LAS, LAN, RU, OCE, JP, KR)

Until the official patch notes are available, check the

Lol 10.15 Release

(10.15 PBE content) for a tentative look at what is coming in the patch, including our newest champion,

Lillia, the Bashful Bloom, Spirit Blossom skins for

Ban Cap Nhat 10.15 Lol

Teemo + Prestige, Thresh, Vayne, and Yasuo

Lol 10.15 Shen

, and much more!

10.15 Lol Tft