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painless-innit-colourful · 3 years

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OKAY! Here's my full commentary of the night, from two middle aged unmarried women, a young sapphic that wasn't really watching, and me, the only person in the room that has watched Eurovision before. We're all performers (one former professional dancer, one dance teacher at university, one student dance teacher, and one singer in training) and we had some... opinions. Okay, let's go!

Cyprus: Bad Romance, if it was sung by Shakira with added yodelling.

Albania: SHE'S GOT GAS (lmaooo Graham Norton mentioned flatulence during the postcard and it ruined us).

Israel: Quite a bop, though that girl did not have legs, she had sticks. (Also the dancer on the front left had pulled his calf by the end lmao.) Thought it was an ironic choice of song name for the country that's been bombing Palestine.

Belgium: Too angsty for Eurovision.

Russia: Brilliantly wacky - very Eurovision. We in the living room are slightly worried for their safety after tonight. Awesome.

Malta: OH YEAHH, THAT BANGED. That's a Top 40 in the UK for sure. That's the living room favourite for now.

Portugal: "I don't know where I belong-" "I'm from the deep south." "Of Portugal."

Serbia: "This is like when three... Unmarried women in their 40s are drunk on New Year's Eve and go: 'Hey, what if we did Eurovision?'" / "Destiny's Inappropriate Auntie." (thanks Graham.)

UK: Alright (definitely better than our last one), but we spent most of our watch session talking about how my aunt literally taught one of the dancers two years ago.

Greece: WE SPENT MOST OF THE SONG TALKING ABOUT THOSE DANCERS. THE AR DIDN'T QUITE WORK 100% LMAOOO. Also her catsuit? Impeccable. That's a Bond girl right there.

Switzerland: We had so much to say about that one. It sounded like Writing's On The Wall. It looked like performance art. It was shot like a Bond opening. Then he started WIGGLING. AND HIS SHADOW MADE HIM LOOK LIKE HE HAD A MULLET.

Iceland: WE WANT THEM TO WIN. THAT WAS SO GOOD. THAT WAS SATIRE. I WANNA GO TO THE PUB WITH THEM. THAT WAS AWESOME. "How does it keep getting better" HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME!!!

Spain: Ah. A 6 metre moon. We were hoping for a staging malfunction.

Moldova: Learn some Breath Control lady. Also those backing dancers were the best part. One of them looked like Michael McIntyre.

Germany: Good LORD. That was the cheesy filler song from a musical, with the addition of a hand near constantly giving everyone the finger.

Finland: YOOOOOOO. Okay. That was like, incredibly ironic to say they weren't allowed to put their middle fingers up after what just happened in Germany... Lmao. Anyway! That was awesome. Did you see the audience? They were going crazy. So were we. Hope that wins. Living room favourite.

Bulgaria: Pretty staging. Pretty lady. Pretty voice. Ehhhhh song.

Lithuania: AYYYE. THAT WAS TOO MUCH FUN. The choreography was terrible, in the absolute best way. We loved that, a lot.

Ukraine: Ukrainian folk rave. An unexpected bop. No idea what was happening with the visuals. Why did she murder Orville.

France: Very nice song, always love the sound of the French language. We spent three minutes talking about why we dislike the French.

Azerbaijan: Great song. We spent two minutes trying to remember the name of Little Mix song I always sing "My lemons" to the chorus.

Norway: EXCELLENT SONG. However, we could see why Graham Norton said not to look at the screen. Good GOD what was that choreography. Who's idea was the devils.

Netherlands: Kinda forgot what nation that was: some great African influences. Anyway, tonight the 80s reign supreme. Why they were dressed like airline staff, I don't know.

Italy: Very glam rock. We spent a minute talking about Estonia's entrant from last time.

Sweden: Oh, that was so cool. That was the kinda song I can imagine hearing on the music channel in a hotel room where it's the only channel in English. That guy could go mainstream.

San Marino: WHY IS FLO RIDA HERE (still don't like San Marino after their dentist beat us last time).

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apicturewithasmile · 2 years

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I didn't post any Eurovision commentary because I was having the best ESC viewing party with @imakayak-hearmeroar sitting beside me and @createdbyinvisiblesouls on discord.

But here's a selection of thoughts:

very poetic that I'm watching the ESC with a French potato and France and Germany end on the last two spots

Germany deserved it but France didn't - they were one of my faves and should've gotten more points

I expected Sweden to be the jury favourite

I choose to ignore whatever the fuck happened with the UK...?!?! What's wrong with you @ Europe

Lithuanian song perfect for cleaning the apartment while naked. I mean this 100% as a compliment

Moldova understood the assignment and delivered

Why did the Norwegian grandma kink dogs make it to the final but Latvian pussy song didn't???

Stefania Mamo Mamo Stefania!!!! What a deserved win for Kalush Orchestra. I've been playing this song on repeat for weeks and love it so much. I'm very happy and emotional. Slava Ukraini!!! See y'all next year in Kyiv ✌️💙💛🇪🇺

#about me #ESC #Eurovision #eurovision song contest #ESC 2022

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hollyand-writes · 3 years

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My British husband, after listening to the commentary before the French entry: “I don’t feel so bad anymore about us not winning Eurovision since 1997 if France haven’t won since 1977” 😂

#in other news i'm getting very on this wine thanks to this drinking game how are you all doing #eurovision 2021 #esc 2021 #eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc2021 #EDITED TO ADD: DRUNK. I MEANT I WAS GETTING VERY DRUNK.

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passionate-reply · 3 years

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Have you and Telex met somewhere before? If not, you may want to make their acquaintance. This delightfully irreverent Belgian electro-disco trio came in next to last at 1980′s Eurovision Song Contest. And then they did an album featuring English lyrics by Sparks’ Ron and Russel Mael! Find out all about what makes this record tick, in this week’s installment of Great Albums. Full transcript below the break...

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! It’s time to break outside the Anglosphere, and take a look at one of the finest synth-pop acts to come from Belgium: the irreverent post-disco trio of Telex. Telex were, in fact, so European that they were sent to that most European of institutions, the Eurovision Song Contest, in the year 1980, in what was perhaps their finest hour in the spotlight.

Music: “Eurovision”

While many contemporary listeners may find “Eurovision” amusing, it actually didn’t go over well in the contest itself, and Telex managed to place second to last on behalf of the Belgian people, losing even the (arguably) more illustrious last place to Finland. It was one of the earliest true “joke entries,” so perhaps the masses weren’t ready for this approach yet. Despite its generally upbeat sound, I think the lyrics of “Eurovision” come across as really quite harsh--and the song’s availability in both English and French meant that plenty of people understood them. Mocking the financial instability of Italy and, apparently, anyone dumb enough to tune into Eurovision, there’s really a rather condescending, perhaps even cruel, sensibility about it. A conspicuous reference to the Berlin Wall, a symbol of some of Europe’s deepest divisions and greatest political turmoil, gives it an extra nudge towards feeling rather contextually inappropriate. Telex’s “Eurovision” might just be the most cynical or anti-European song ever entered...at least up until Hatari of Iceland gave us the thunderous industrial anthem “Hatrið Mun Sigra,” in 2019.

Telex’s follow-up to this “incident” is, in my opinion, where their career starts to really get interesting. While it isn’t that heavily advertised, 1981’s Sex was actually something of a collaboration album, featuring English-language lyrics on all tracks which were contributed by Ron and Russell Mael of Sparks. Given the recent resurgence of interest in Sparks spurred by Edgar Wright’s documentary on them, I figure now is as good a time as ever to revisit this somewhat lesser-known work in the Sparks catalogue--or, at least, with one foot in the Sparks catalogue.

In my opinion, Sex takes the better aspects of both of these groups and combines them into something that feels like more than the sum of its parts. Telex’s soft, yet sprightly synth arrangements have as much fun and flair as those of fellow Sparks collaborator Giorgio Moroder, and feel more substantive and organic than Sparks’ many attempts to play with various genres in which they remained outsider dilettantes. Likewise, the Mael brothers’ lyricism is a major improvement to the often clunky English offered by previous efforts by the Belgians. Recontextualized amidst a sea of dreamy Euro-pop, and delivered by Telex’s suave yet unassuming vocalist Michel Moers, the same style of lyricism that often makes Sparks feel crass and overwrought to me becomes transmuted into something I’m much more amenable to. Much like Devo, I’ve often found the “smartest guys in the room” vibe of Sparks a bit off-putting, but Sex has a certain subtlety or ambiguity about it, that keeps me coming back and pondering it.

Music: “Dummy”

The feel-good, squelching bass grooves of “Dummy” recall the most affable work of the seminal Yellow Magic Orchestra, and a falsetto hook that’s to die for marks it as one of the more pop-oriented tracks on the album. Had it stopped at “Dummy, hey, I’m talking to you,” it would be not only less interesting musically, but also conceptually; the overt questioning, “now who’s the dumb one?”, rescues it from simply being mean. I like to think it calls to mind the archetype of the fool who is constantly vocally doubting the intelligence of others, in an attempt to cover for their own insecurities. While it’s a comparatively simple track, lyrically, it establishes some of the album’s most important themes, portraying traditional “intelligence” as mutable, and perhaps questionable. Despite its appeal, “Dummy” was actually not included on the original tracklisting of the album, but rather debuted as the B-side to the single “Brainwash,” before receiving this promotion in later revisions of the LP. In this rare case, I actually think the later edition is superior, and it’s the one I’d recommend.

Music: “Brainwash”

Besides just sharing opposite sides of the same single, there’s also a strong thematic connection between “Dummy” and the slower-paced, narrative-driven “Brainwash.” Arguably the most high-concept track to be had on Sex, “Brainwash” tells the tale of an intellectual who willingly forfeits his intelligence for the sake of falling in love. That, in and of itself, is a take on the love song that I’ve never heard before. We all know the trope that being in love makes one stupid--our word “infatuation” is basically Latin for “being made stupid.” But “Brainwash” suggests that, given the choice, we might well be better off as fools rushing in. What good is a life full of knowledge if it is one without passion, and deeper humanity? The narrator of “Brainwash” seems fully cognizant of what they abandon, and makes an informed decision to do so. But what complicates things even further is the development that the object of the narrator’s affections seems desperate to make them regain their prior book smarts--perhaps a commentary on how society frames this issue, and its willingness to prioritize the prestige of education over genuine human happiness. The single “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” explores a related, but also distinct tension between knowledge and happiness.

Music: “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?”

Moreso than anything else on the album, “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” is really sort of harrowing. Moers’s falsetto feels less like a fun disco aftershock and more like a cry of pain, and the stilted melody and more brash synthesiser stabs establish an air of unease--though still not so strong that it feels out of place alongside lighter tracks like “Brainwash.” Its lyrical narrative is plainly a tragic one, with a narrator who thinks he’s encountered his wife, but can’t quite piece it together, or get the response that he’s looking for. It’s evocative of the very real agony a sufferer of dementia and their loved ones might face, losing their memories, and, with them, their connection to the people around them. But perhaps the most eerie thing about the track is that it never does dip into more maudlin territory, even if it feels like it ought to. In the full context of the album, and particularly the sentiment expressed by “Brainwash,” we’re forced to question just how unfortunate the tale expressed in this song is. Perhaps “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” is also suggesting that love is more powerful than knowledge, in its own way. Perhaps the characters it presents have transcended the need for knowledge of their shared history, because their bond is deeper and more primal than that? Similarly subversive questions about love are also posed by “Exercise Is Good For You.”

Music: “Exercise Is Good For You”

With a pleasingly abrasive, textured synth line and a rather singable refrain, “Exercise Is Good For You” is the one track cut from the later version of the album that I do find myself missing. This track’s narrator has devoted themselves to exercising--perhaps over-exercising--in the wake of a bad break-up. At first blush, it may seem a bit absurd, but this is a real-life coping mechanism, and one that can potentially be quite dangerous, particularly as it’s often combined with eating disorders. The potential for peril is compounded by the notion that, well, “exercise is good for you,” and that in a world where too few of us partake, anyone who does must be doing the best for their health. While it doesn’t deal with the realm of knowledge, I do think “Exercise Is Good For You” works in a similar space as tracks like “Brainwash” and “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” do, offering an ambiguous narrative that asks us to question something we habitually value--in this case, by portraying the apparent virtue of physical fitness in a darker and less healthy light.

Earlier, I referred to this album simply as Sex, but for the UK market, it was re-christened Birds & Bees. There is obviously something quite transgressive and irreverent about naming a pop album “Sex”! We like to think of pop music as trading chiefly in themes of love and romance, so the title Sex functions as a bit of a “low blow,” suggesting that we ought to think more cynically about “what’s really going on below.” Despite this, there’s really not a lot of terribly bawdy tracks to be had on either version of the album, which may come as some surprise if you’re familiar with their early track “Pakmoväst.” I think the fact that the album title was changed, and seemingly “censored” with the very knowing title Birds & Bees, only adds to its transgressiveness, and lends it a certain allure of the forbidden.

You won’t find birds or bees on the cover of the album, however, but rather a butterfly, feeding off the nectar of two large flowers. It’s certainly an image that can be read as evocative of sensuality, with yonic visual overtones. Perhaps more overtly offensive to the eye is its queasy, dull yellow colour scheme, which is actually much more stuck in the 70s than the rather sharp and with-it electro-disco stylings of the music.

Historically, the butterfly is often used as a symbol of innocence, particularly with respect to the carnal knowledge of sex. In François Gérard’s depiction of the mythological heroine Psyche, a butterfly hovers above the subject, as she receives her first kiss from her lover, Cupid, a god of lust and sexual desire. The suggestion of youthful innocence is only heightened when the title Birds & Bees is applied. We might also consider the similarity between the idea of naivete or innocence as a virtue, and the apparent thrust of tracks like “Brainwash,” which also challenge the utility and benefit of knowledge about the world.

Telex would go on to release three more LPs after this one, and while they never quite surpassed a cult following, they keep up with the times quite respectably, incorporating sampling and digital synth textures without losing their signature levity and playfulness. I think they’re well worth a listen if you’re interested so far.

Music: “Raised By Snakes”

My favourite track on this album is one that’s exclusive to the later release, and never appeared anywhere else: “Mata Hari,” which was not only added to the album, but given the prominent position as its opening track. Mata Hari was actually a real person, a courtesan famous for her exotic dances inspired by her time in the Dutch East Indies. But she became caught up in the political storm of the First World War, and the French government convicted her of spying for the Germans--even though many believed she was framed. After her execution for the alleged crime, her severed head was embalmed and displayed in a Parisian museum, for all to gawk at...until it mysteriously went missing, possibly stolen by an “admirer.” It’s a strange and tragic tale, for sure, and one suitably treated with a sense of mystery and uncertainty by the song. An undoubtedly complex and controversial figure, Mata Hari can be seen as a symbol of European disunity, not unlike the Berlin Wall, as well as a representation of sensuality used for devious and destructive ends. I think this track enriches the album’s themes while also feeling somewhat separate, with its more pensive mood and third-person lyricism. That’s everything for today--thanks, as always, for listening!

Music: “Mata Hari”

#music #album review #album reviews #telex #sparks #ron mael #russel mael #eurovision #eurovision song contest

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betweenthetimeandsound · 3 years

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Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#78-77)

#78: Lara Fabian -- Croire (Luxembourg 1988)

“Croire au nouveau monde qu'on a dans la tête, Croire en nous pour changer demain, Croire même aux mensonges si ça les arrête, Croire aux lignes de nos mains...”

“Believing in the new world we have in our heads, Believing in us in order to change tomorrow Even believing in lies if this can stop them Believing in the lines in our hands..”

Yes, my favorite song came from the other future Francophonic superstar in 1988! While I do love Celine Dion and her work, I wasn’t a particular fan of her winning song. She sings it powerfully, sure, but I wasn't grabbed by the structure as everyone else.

Croire, on the other hand, is so divine.

There’s a serenity to how it opens up, with how the synthesizers and orchestra mix together to add a sense of peace. I could recognize the fantasiaa intro from a mile away. Lara sings the opening lines in a way that makes me stop and listen--though she always gapes as she really enunciates the "croire..." parts a lot. It appears frequently in the song, but I like the sense of innocence as Lara prays for a better world for all of us.

While it was a success in the contest, it isn't as remembered, though Lara would eventually become a superstar on her own right. On the other hand, Luxembourg would sell its French-language channel after the 1988 contest, leading to a slow collapse of their Eurovision entries which would eventually lead to their indefinite withdrawal.

And personally, if a woman in pink had to win it for Luxembourg in the 1980s, then Lara runs circles around Corrine any day of the week. :)

Personal ranking: 1st/21 Actual ranking: 4th/21 in Dublin

#77: Azúcar Moreno -- Bandido (Spain 1990)

“La luna me embrujó y me llevó hasta ti Veneno del amor que yo feliz bebí Y aunque mi pecho ardió y me abrasó la piel Me supo dulce como la miel”

“The moon bewitched me and took me to you Love poison that I drank happily And although my chest burned and scorched my skin For me, it tasted as sweet as honey”

"When you're ready...I don't like it, it's going too smoothly."

"Will I hum you the first set of bars?"

"This is going to be a long evening, ladies and gentlemen"

Terry's famous commentary with the long beat heralded the beginning of 1990s at Eurovision (aka the best decade in terms of songs) Yet it started off on a bad note, as the track for Bandido didn’t go off on time and Azucar Moreno had to leave the stage. Only the guitarist remained to keep on performing (I'm not 100% sure if it's on playback, though), and everything had to calm down.

But when they did come back, they sung an absolute banger.

The two sisters danced their hearts out, as they simultaneously celebrate and lament the man that had taken their hearts and put them under his spell. The lyrics are actually quite good, as it paints a very vibrant scene with a fiery romance under the moonlight. I frequently find myself dancing to this one a lot; Azcuar Moreno does so in style in their little black dresses (which were originally supposed to be red during rehearsals).

However, one thing I found funny was how both Bandido and Quien Maneja mi Barca (#246) were both flamenco-influenced songs talking about love, with very distinct vocals and powerful orchestrations. While the former is considered a fan-favorite and a song that some people would've preferred to win, the latter is considered a marmite entry at best, with just as many fans as detractors. And only one of them would become a success across the world. Does a cultural genre have to be presented in a certain way to make it palatable? Asking for a friend, because Bandido is definitely Spanish, but with some modern dance elements thrown in.

Either way, despite the growing pains, Bandido lit a match for the contest to come, and is always enjoyable to jam to. You can always have a party to this one, wherever you are!

Personal ranking: 6th/22 Actual ranking: 5th/22 in Zagreb

Final Impressions on Spain: They participated in every edition since their debut in 1961, and have wavered between good eras and bad throughout. Some of their acts would become major hits in Latin America (most notably Eres tu, but Yo Soy Aquel, Bandido, and Bailar Pedgados have garnered fame too), but some of them were quite bad too (Ay, que deso shouldn't have made it through the 1996 audio-only pre-qualifier...). They deliver their songs with passion and vibrancy either way, no matter what the genre! Hopefully they could end their long drought soon enough (but not too soon, as you can see next).

#eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc top 250 #esc 250 #esc luxembourg #esc 1988 #lara fabian #esc spain #azucar moreno #esc 1990 #i'm surprised lara didn't do better in eurovisionagain #it's a beautiful song #and bandido is an absolute bop #vintage eurovision #three minutes to eternity

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french-eurovision · 5 months

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"It was holographic ABBA. It was nice. A bit scary — but nice"

— the french booth is unsure

#eurovision 2024 #esc 2024 #esc 2024 abba #eurovision french commentary #eurovision french commentators

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af-answers · 4 years

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Hey! Very important question for the humans: So as Europeans do you watch The Eurovision? Thanks!

Artemis: Do I seem like someone who would watch Eurovision?

Angeline: Yes, it is a bit pedestrian. The songs are fine, but I don’t feel the need to sit in front of a television and watch the performances.

Juliet: Dom and I have watched Eurovision together since I was little. I really liked it back then but now, it’s more for nostalgia.

Butler: I still enjoy it, and I listen to the songs for weeks. And Jules, you have to admit it’s gotten more interesting since Minerva started watching with us.

Juliet: Her commentary is hilarious! “I thought this would be more of a testament to their cultures!” “This is the problem with the westernization of media.” “Oh, they started a new song? I couldn’t tell because they’re SO MUCH ALIKE.”

Butler: And yet she comes to watch it with us every year for the past 3 years.

Juliet: It’s like a weird, prissy French pilgrimage.

#artemis fowl #angeline fowl #juliet butler #butler #domovoi butler #text post #eurovision

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frenchly-anxious · 4 years

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Best moments of the French commentary

“Yes means Oui”

“It's true that we weren't really supposed to approach Graham Norton during Eurovision. We were told he could bite”

“And now Montaigne. Her name as a singer is inspired by Montaigne”

“Usually, they announce things in English and in French. I'm not hearing any French this year. What is this?”

“OOOH, the Eiffel Tower, it's our country!!”

The main French commentator to the French contestant, Tom Leeb: So, how are you living this Eurovision event?

The guest on the set, an old french singer: He's obviously bored out of his fucking mind, look at him!

#eurovision #eurovision 2020 #france #french commentators #tom leeb #stéphane bern

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shoelace-and-friends · 5 years

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So the Eurovision youtube channel fucking sucks lmao.

HOWEVER, there is an internet web browser called “Opera”, that you could download for free. Not only does it come with free built-in adblock, but also a free built-in VPN as well, that you can turn on and off as you please.

It takes a bit of digging through settings to enable the free VPN, but you can easily google the instructions on how to do that.

ANYWAY, the VPN on Opera allows you to watch all the geoblocked videos on the Eurovision youtube channel, INCLUDING the semis and the final while they are streaming live.

ALSO, it’ll allow you to watch the livestreams from other countries, I believe. Wanna watch the UK livestream? The French one? The Australian one? You should be able to now!

And if for some reason, you’re unable to download or use Opera, SVT (the swedish broadcaster) has also been making the livestream of both semifinals and the final available to watch in the United States the past few years. I would assume they would be doing that again this year. You’d just have to watch with Swedish commentary.

Reblog to save an American Eurovision fan’s life.

#eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc #eurovision 2019 #esc 2019 #eurovision livestream #semifinal 1 #semifinal 2 #eurovision grand final #Opera web browser #VPN

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noriannbraindripshere · 5 years

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The french commentary is giving me so much second hand embarassement, that’s the quintessential eurovision experience

#Noriann blab #eurovision 2019

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borisbubbles · 6 years

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Eurovision in the 80s: The Ranking

The moment y’all have been waiting for. I’ve recently rewatched all the years in the 1980s and I will now rank the Contests in this very post for Posternity’s sake. If you feel like watching an eighties year, feel free to use this post as a guide as to what to watch and what to avoid :)

Disclaimer: While I will also include a ranking of the songs, i will only be discussing the Contests themselves. No write-ups on individual entries, because it’s best left for you to discover... oh and because I’m a lazy PoS.

Oh and for those who can’t tell, a legenda: Dark Green: ICONIC entries that are amongst the all-time greatest. Lush Green: Great entries that I loved or Iconic entries that I liked. Lime Green: Entries that I liked or contributed something of value to the contest. Yellow: Mehzone. Orange: Entries that I disliked or whose presence detracted from the contest Red: Pieces of shit that need to be set on fire.

Without any further ado:

10. Lausanne 1989 (Winner: Yugoslavia)

What a godawful year. Maybe my least fave, ever? This contest is the only one in the decade I’d recommend you to avoid. It has a myriad of problems (shit hosts that insist on speaking French throughout the entire contest although it’s fucking NINETEEN-EIGHTY-NINE; hideous stage, Basic Bitch winners), but the most problematic one is the music. The best song... is Céline Dion’s opener and it just goes downhill from there. There’s a dearth of fun, uptempo bops, the contest consisting of mostly lame (even by Eurovision standards) death fodder, some of the worst experimental shit I’ve ever seen (including *two* child singers O_O) and anonymous ballads you forget the INSTANT they’ve finished; It’s like the worst fucking case of musical prosopagnosia you’ll ever witness. The only song which shines is Denmark’s antiquated schlager, but mostly because I needed SOMETHING to cling onto for dear life to prevent me from slitting my wrists GOOD LORD.

9. Harrogate 1982 (Winner: Germany)

A year that looks way better on paper than it is in practice. The problems with Harrogate 1982 are two-fold: first, the podium is way too fucking small to stage anything that isn’t a ballad or a chanson. Secondly, the entries are not memorable at all, except for Finland, Norway and Luxembourg which are all DREADFUL. Otherwise the contest can be condensed to “mildly pleasant middle of the road pop songs and Nicole.” So about Nicole: she’s definitely one of the Greatest Winners of the franchise, but her mere presence turns Harrogate 1982 in one of those ‘Business Trip’ years (for other examples: see 1974 and 2012): It’s obvious that Nicole is a full category ahead of all the others and is going to beat the crap out of them... which is precisely what happens and it’s fucking underwhelming. Like, why even hold a contest if the result is going to be that obvious? Not a BAD year per se, but not a very satisfying one.

8. Dublin 1981 (Winner: United Kingdom)

While 81 certainly looks worse than 82 on paper (there is a larger amount of boring songs), it’s actually slightly better, on pretty much every level: the good songs are more memorable, the bad songs are less memorable (a huge plus!!), the stage is bright lit and pleasant, the voting is exciting (”Yugoslavia, may I have your votes please?” “I DON’T HAVE IT!!!” *sound of receiver being slammed down on table* 😍), the winner is satisfying, etc. That being said, “slightly better than 1982″ is still fucking average though, lol.

7. Dublin 1988 ( Winner: Switzerland)

Fucking Dublin, hosting the contest six fucking times, only ONE of them actually good. :-/ Anyway, 1988 is a really weird year in that it has flashes of utter brilliance (including a very exciting voting tally) but still manages to be mediocre overall. It’s one of those years that has a blazing start and then... dies a slow horrible death around the halfway mark. There are.. three? good entries after Céline, who performed NINTH... in a contest with 21 songs X__X The ugly stage defo doesn’t help and I would also recommend that if you chose to watch this, to mute the sound whenever hostess Michelle Rocca attempts to speak 'French' (tho at least she tries to speak a different language, unlike the shitty hosts the year hereafter 😒)

6. Luxembourg 1984 (Winner: Sweden)

1984 is a lovely, lightweight year. It doesn’t set my world on fire, given the lack of green entries, but most entries rank near the top of their coloured tier (and “Terminal 3″ is easily the best Irish entry of all times). Its overall vibe is pleasant, the stage is excellent, the hosting competent and the winner satisfying. Not something I’d stay up for, but defo something I’d love to watch when I want to clear my head.

5. Gothenburg 1985 (Winner: Norway)

1985 is a classic example of a “Good vs Evil” contest. It has a slow start, including some of the worst crap ever on Eurovision (’Für Alle’ is a contender for my least favourite Eurovision entry of all times) and then it turns into a wonderful dreamscape with several all-time great entries, culminating in an ending where Evil is slain by Good (in the forms of Bobbysocks and the UK Jury) and everyone lives happily ever after 🤗. Oh and it features Lill Lindfors whose deadbeat sarcastic self can barely contain her disdain for said aforementionned Evil entries, lobbing shade at them whenever she can. <3

4. The Hague 1980 (Winner: Ireland)

An excellent year of Eurovision. I always enjoy rewatching 1980. It has good pacing, an attractive stage, memorable songs, the bad songs are fun to hate (Netherlands’ especially, as it’s a song about the beauty of Amsterdam... in a contest taking place in The Hague 🙄🙄...😂). By far one of the funniest contests in Eurovision.

3. Bergen 1986 (Winner: Belgium)

Another excellent year of Eurovision. I don’t have a single red or orange entry until song #14, which is one of the longest streaks of Not-Bad in Eurovision. Even then, the songs in yellow could’ve been light green had I felt generous at the time. The crystal cavern aesthetic is beautiful, Ase Kleveland is an excellent hostess despite being sandwiched between Lill Lindfors and Victor Laszlo. 1986′s best feature is the abundance of excellent trainwreck entries, giving the year a distinct light character that makes it infinitely rewatchable. A pity that it kinda sags near the end.

2. Brussels 1987 (Winner: Ireland)

One of my favourite contests of all time. It’s a lot like 1980, in that 1987 is also an immensely funny year (and I don’t even like the Lazy Bums), but unlike 1980 the comedy is mostly unintentional, which is even better. The B-material in 1987 (arguably half the entrants <3) consistently try to outperform themselves and it is just delightfully amateur, flawed and fun (and of course pans out to them receiving ~20 points collectively 😂). This without taking into account the stage, which is one of the most beautiful dark stages in Eurovision, the VTs featuring different Belgian comic book characters and Viktor Laszlo, who is one of the best hosts this franchise has ever known. Baby, I’m Breathless, yeah.

1. Munich 1983 (Winner: Luxembourg)

While 1987 is more my taste, 1983 is the more well-rounded contest. LOOK at all that dark green. Look at where they rank on the overall 80s list. This contest has a few weak links, but it matters little for when an 1983 entry is good, it’s freaking fantastic and erases all the previous blandness from memory.

1983 is also an underrated year in terms of hosting (Hostess Marlene attempting to host trilingually ALL BY HERSELF <3), aesthetics (using HIDEOUS flag-shaped floral pieces instead of VTs <3) and Terry Wogan commentary (defending the Avant Garde entries he otherwise despises <3 getting all of his trivia wrong <3). It was the first past contest I watched back in the day (early 2012 lol) and an excellent year to start with if you haven’t tried watching an early year yet.

#Eurovision Song Contest #1980s #Eighties

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