#even in modern verses i just think this man knew he was bi from day 1

[thegreatstrongbow]

Sometimes I try and think about Beleg's sexuality but the answer is just that he woke up. Learned what sex was. Decided he wanted to have lots of it. He never questioned it.

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf​ )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent. 

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him). 

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest. 

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed. 

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take). 

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too. 

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red. 

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera 

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002​ and @jenpsaki​:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married). 

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead. 

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.

[lianors]

FOURTH CHALLENGE  — character personality tests for lianor montagu: (4/12)

wc: 1,592 / points earned (thus far): 20

tw: light mention of abusive parental relationship; sexuality discourse (with mentions of: religion, homophobia, internalized misogyny and traditional gender roles); a ridiculous shitload of word vomiting without proofread yike !

1 — creepiest thing about you

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: you are a disturbing control freak — caring for people and things does not work the way you think it does. you are so invested in making sure that everything around you is perfect that instead of showing you care, you plan and control without asking for any input (which, of course, you justify by telling yourself that you aren’t burdening anyone else with extra work). you call this “dedication,” but it’s not - it’s needing personal control so badly that you’ve confused it for real connection — which is not really a great quality in a friend, but a very helpful quality in an aspiring serial killer.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: i remember when this challenge first came out -- lmao why am i such a sloth -- i wrote an intricate, awed response at this result, but my computer turned off on itself so i guess i gotta content with this whatever lmao.

anyhow, incrediblé. i believe i have touched on the controlling nature lianor has in her -- it is born from her own mother’s, how the woman had wanted her daughter to be a puppet from a tender age; not to displease beatriz, lia was to assure just that. she easily became a sort of dominating figure in the welsh nursery, gently advising and guiding the royal kids to do her way, which is the right way. unlike her mother, she knew honey would catch more flies than vinegar (a mantra she tries to live by whenever ugly, awfully humane sentiments rush through her) and, thus, lianor continues pulling strings quietly, with a caress there, a gentle word here. 

she grows impatient and vexed as her powers begin to fade on people, and now that she’s older, she more actively struggles against being controlled by others, though she is wise enough to know that, as a woman, in many situations she just will not have control and she must bow her head and follow. still, she tries to manipulate the outcome to favor her in some way, even if it is a minuscule silver lining she clings to in order to maintain her sanity and her illusion of power.

2 — four temperaments

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: your temperament is phlegmatic (15) — the phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. they are accepting and affectionate. they may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. they can also be passive-aggressive.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: let me just say, i took this test on my first week portraying lia and i got a tie between sanguine and melancholic -- who is lying then?? are you telling me i’ve grown her enough for that to change??? fight me!! but hey at least sanguine and melancholic tied again, only two points behind phlegmatic so!!!

dumbassery aside, i guess this makes sense. as i usually take most of these tests as i am building my muse, i base their behavior on these results as much as the muse that flows through me on the day i am writing, but i think it’s silly to deny this result just for the sake of being a hater -- especially when the phlegmatic result does fit her: lianor is not particularly lazy, as her anxiety and fear of becoming useless makes that an inability, but if she does allow herself a time off, there is little she would really want to do other than partaking in that noble girl lying on a ottoman couch fantasy! 

more importantly, she is definitely on the quiet side, and kindness and warmth are traits she intends to display and, though i haven’t said it outright, i believe it can be assumed rightfully so that she is a good administrator, with a good head for finances and overall stability over risk.

3 — tea type

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: chamomile tea — you are a warm blanket in the form of a human. you’re welcoming and comforting, and loved ones know they can turn to you when they need a hug or a soothing word. you appreciate the cozy things in life, like wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain. in a world full aggression, competition and noise, you believe there’s bravery in being soft.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: reading this blurb makes me feel so uwu, in a very romantic way i imagined when i first wrote lianor (if you ignore how big of an angst whore i am lmao), so sure, i will take it. lia intends to be this sort of safe, cozy harbor for her loved ones, where they all can forget of the harsh realities of ruling -- though she found herself quite able to do so before, she becomes more cynical, and fearful this ability will become an impossibility soon enough (which in return makes her despise those she judge that are to blame for this demystification of her idyllic world).

4 — sexuality

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: for 40% you are heterossexual. this means that you are attracted only to the opposite sex. this is the most accepted and ‘normal’ sexuality, so don’t worry about fitting in with sexuality -- you will be fine.

you could also get this result:

for 30% you are bisexual. this means that you are attracted to both sexes. this sexuality is very broad -- you can love whomever you want. in reality, both boys and girls. it’s also fairly accepted, as you are both straight and gay.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: as someone with about 5 scorpios in my zodiac map, i have no qualms about discussing sex and sexuality in any way, so this is going to be an interesting ride. as always, i thought i should discuss character origins, as lianor really has bloomed ever since i began planning her, to as she was actually played. so, originally, she was as straight as a board -- as someone who has had primarily one romantic and sexual connection, she remains constant with her affections and desires, which are invested on a cismale, as it should be expected for a pious noblewoman as she is. thus, i insisted she was a hetero for quite a bit, only for her to come at me and make me proud with just a huge amount of gay -- god i love one (1) sapphic babe! because, well, i envisioned her relationship with the princess of england as one of sisterly love, but because there was a sapphic route me and the princess’ former player went by, i am interested in discussing that again with her player (who shall hopefully be here soon). 

lia enjoys women -- she thinks they are gorgeous, strong beings, and she also envies them, well rooted in the environment she is at. the fateful night she did engage in intercourse with one, she powered through with mild distaste, making her purpose to appeal for the male gaze, to prove to her male partner she was not just another whore he would take to his bed and forget the next morning. she claims kissing women have become a boring affair, that she has tired of pretending and would rather go for the real thing -- a man, in which she would be expected to conceive with -- but everything she speaks must be taken with a grain of salt, since this is the 15th century and even if there is no penis, so there is no sodomy, a love for a woman that is something more than fraternal is wrong, for a woman is made for a man, and she believes she has already found her match.

this single sexual encounter and her insistence in telling herself she is disgusted by homosexuality rings to me not only of religious-infused prejudice, but also of a notion many claim secondary: the ace aspect. being a literal assexual definitely does not work for lianor, who has fire running in her veins and is not at all against asking for her earthly desires to be quenched by the right man -- but demisexuality’s definition interest me a lot; demisexuals require a good amount of bonding to be able to enjoy the sexual act -- they may do it anyways, as i know people in real life to have done and as lia does in her marital bed, but enjoying it is a whole other thing. thus, it makes sense she could not find sexual joy in a random encounter that was fashioned more to please her partner than herself. when she did think of a woman she had a deep connection with -- her dearest french penpal -- though there was an immense shame, lia found no difficulty in enjoying herself.

however, again, this should all remain entirely circumstantial due to the mentality of the century; she would rather not strain from what is normal, and resign herself to her feminine position, in which she should please her man and bear his children, regardless of her own pleasure in the matter. female friendships should remain just that, and otherwise she would seek to distance herself from the personification of sin for her own sake. to go through with modern, anachronistic notions would strip the verse of what it is and instead would make me speak of the bi icon lianor beauchamp that was born in the 1990s -- and that is a whole other talk.

[phirephox666]

Weekly Fic Recs - FMA

After doing these recs for a couple weeks I figure I have enough recs to do that I can do these bi-weekly for a bit, so! Bi-weekly fic recs commence! This Wednesday’s fics are FMA, a whole bunch of Ed/Roy, mostly. Enjoy y’all.  

Weekly Rec Lists 

i'm giving you a nightcall by clairedearing

Edward/Roy, Alphonse/Winry, Reincarnation Au, Modern Au, Superhero Au, Complete, 124k

Edward Elric (the second) has always had to balance the two sides of his life; on one proper flesh and blood hand, he's a genius working as a crime scene investigator, putting his younger brother through university. On the other not-actually-flesh-and-blood hand, he's also the red-hooded vigilante Fullmetal, protecting Central City from criminals and assholes like 'the Dragon'. But mutilated bodies have stared showing up, and now he has to deal with his estranged sorta-maybe-ex-boyfriend (who's in charge of hunting down Ed's alternate persona), keeping the public from various levels of hysteria, and stopping a mysterious group who seem to be echoing the one his mother used to belong to...

the catwoman to your batman by clairedearing

Edward/Roy, Vigilante Au, Complete, 6k

Ed had his mission - to escort the Ishvallan refugees to the camps. Then he could get back to his research. Except, a mysterious masked man keeps screwing everything up.

Diplomatic Excursions and Other Ways to Die by Tierfal

Edward/Roy, Post Canon Au, Complete, 53k

Conceptually, attending Emperor Ling's coronation celebration is simple enough. In practice, it involves far too much trekking, yearning, bleeding, burning, hoping, running, and dodging of diplomatic catastrophes for Roy's tastes.

Catalysis by aventria, iluxia

Edward/Roy, Edward & Roy, Edward & Maes, Edward & Alphonse, Trisha Lives Au, Fix It, Friendship/Gen, Families of Choice, Backstory, Worldbuilding, WIP, 210k

Work in progress. "Search for the value of that which you seek, for alchemy already knows." Alchemy knew what Edward wanted when his fingertips touched that circle, but Edward did not yet understand how value differs from price, how equivalent differs from equal. The Gate calculates with one small difference, and Trisha Elric lives - but the cost may be too high for Edward to afford.

[ In which Edward Elric becomes Roy Mustang's ward in a different context; Trisha Elric is alive but is as good as dead to her sons; Alphonse Elric grows in a human body under Izumi's tutelage, struggling to understand just what it is they have done right; Hohenheim's past is more complicated and intertwined with the tapestry of Amestrian history; Envy dances a very fine line between his loyalty to Father and a growing obsession/addiction; and Amestris is so not ready for this bloody revolution. ]

Part 1 of Catalysis 'verse

Button Up Your Overcoat by Skinner (psiten)

Edward/Roy, Edward & Alphonse, Edward & Team Mustang, Fix It, Friendship/Gen, Bamf Riza, Complete, 140k

Ed could untie knots in the fifth and sixth dimensions -- blindfolded. He could convince the military he fell through a rabbit-hole, and he could even shut down a Drachman invasion (with a little help), but he can't seem to avoid dating Roy Mustang (and maybe is kind of okay with that). But here's hoping they can collar a General trying to trigger a three-way war, and that they can stop him before he destroys the world.

Making himself walk instead of run took every ounce of composure he had, especially when he got far enough to see the city blanketed in a strange layer of dust and dark thunderclouds. The weather had been clear for miles around. Those clouds had the smack of weather alchemy about them.

He had to find his brother.

The Universe Just Doesn't Know What the Hell to Make of Edward Elric by queerstang (rosethomass)

Edward/Roy, Soulmate Au, Soulmate Marks, Complete, 5k

Everyone Edward's age gets their tattoos, gets to know who their soulmate is, and it's just one more thing to remind Edward of all the things he's lost and never got to have.

Major spoilers for Brotherhood.

Two Months and Counting by Tierfal

Edward/Roy, Harry Potter Au, Magical Au, Worldbuilding, Complete, 4.4k

Given that Ed is past words and beyond belief, surely it's fair to break the rules right in half.

[Vague situational spoilers for '03/CoS.]

Part 1 of Bending the Rules

The Maestros of Misuse by Tierfal

Edward/Roy, Harry Potter Au, Magical Au, Fluff, Complete, 6.7k

Ed spends a day with the Improper Use of Magic Office, and no one loses their mind more than a little.

[Vague situational spoilers for '03/CoS.]

Part 2 of Bending the Rules

The Twelfth Cup of Coffee by Tierfal

Edward/Roy, Coffee Shop Au, Modern Au, Mundane Au, Complete, 44k

The thing with Roy is founded on coffee snobbery and stupid text messages and seriously awesome makeout sessions in the car. Oh, and the love of a lifetime, or whatever.

From the Worst of Times by Batsutousai

Edward/Roy, Edward & Roy, Edward & Team Mustang, Roy & Team Mustang, Bamf Roy, Bamf Ed, Complete, 38k

"From the worst of times," someone had once told a young Roy Mustang, "always come the greatest of gifts." There were times in his life that was all he had to cling to, but it always seemed to hold true, one way or the other.

This Lion is in the Garden by Xyriath

Edward/Ling, Xerxian Ed, Royalty Au, Arranged Marriage, Complete, 26k

Ed’s duties as a prince of Xerxes right now really aren’t that complicated. Establish favorable relations with the nation of Xing. Learn to get along with his betrothed. Don’t offend anyone. Especially don’t offend anyone. What he didn’t predict was getting along with his fiancé perhaps a little too well.

Son of the Desert by ShanaStoryteller

Edward/Roy, Edward & Alphonse,Trisha/Hohenheim, Ishvalan Ed, Ishvalan Al, Friendship/Gen, Bamf Ed, Backstory, Worldbuilding, Complete, 10k

Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people -

"Something to say, Fullmetal?" Mustang drawls.

Edward snaps the file shut, "Nope."

Part 1 of Ishvalan AU

Sins of the Father by ShanaStoryteller

Trisha/Hohenheim, Hohenheim & Edward, Hohenheim & Alphonse, Edward/Roy, Ishvalan Ed, Ishvalan Al,  Friendship Gen, Worldbuilding, Feelings, Complete, 8k

Hohenheim has been gone for fifteen years. It's time for him to go home - his wife is waiting for him.

Dreaming in Red and Gold by Batsutousai

Edward/Roy, Post Canon Au, Complete, 96k

When Drachma agrees to meet for peace talks at Briggs Fortress, General Roy Mustang is the one sent to represent Amestris. It just so happens that the Drachmans have their own Amestrisan, who is far too skilled at turning the most tedious of discussions into an exciting time.

But Not Buried This Time by Tierfal

Edward/Roy, Post Canon Au, Bamf Ed, Complete, 95k

Once Ed decides that he is categorically not going to rot on the Drachman tundra, dragging his ass out of the jaws of death is actually pretty easy.  ...except when it's not.  At all.  Which is most of the time.

(AU from end of Brotherhood.)

Come What May by Batsutousai

Darius/Heinkel/Edward, Edward & Roy, Edward/Roy, Friendship/Gen, Families of Choice, Post Canon Au, Bamf Ed, Military Au, Complete, 

After the Promised Day, with his alchemy still intact thanks to Hohenheim's sacrifice, Ed finds himself and his chimera team getting dragged into the shadowy world of military secrets in an attempt to keep Bradley's legacy from causing a civil war.

Part 1 of Our Sinner's Redemption

Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai

Edward/Roy, Edward & Roy, Edward & Alphonse, Edward & Maes, Friendship/Gen, Mute Edward, Bamf Ed, Bamf Al, Time Travel, Fix It, Complete, 289k

Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

a terrifying clamour of trumpets by ShanaStoryteller

Edward & Alphonse, Edward/Roy, Edward & Izumi, Bamf Ed, Fix It, Complete, 12k

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?”

The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?”

There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

Accidents Happen by metisket

Edward & Alphonse, Edward & Harry Dresden, Alphonse & Harry Dresden, Crossover, Crack, Friendship/Gen, Complete, 14k

It’s not so much the strange children falling from the sky that are worrying Harry. It’s more that the children don’t seem to think the situation is all that weird.

“No matter where I go,” Ed said thoughtfully, “there’s a goddamn pyromaniac there waiting for me.”

Repaire du Diable by Batsutousai

Darius/Heinkel/Edward, Edward & Alphonse, Post Canon Au, Complete, 9k

Ed and Al weren't the sort to settle down, despite their best intentions, so they travel, eventually finding Noah again, this time working with a circus that has its share of familiar faces, but also some new ones. Can the Elrics finally find people to settle down with?

[zephfair]

Writing meme

Rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories, see if there are any patterns, then tag your favorite authors.

I asked the wonderful and lovely @dreamywritingdragon if I could follow her meme. Thank you, my dear!

So how about reverse chronology from things I’m working on now?

1. “WOOOOHOOOO ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?!!!” Zack shouted when the door of the house opened, bracing himself to be knocked over by the swell of music, laughing voices and the smell of booze.

(from an upcoming OT3 meme ficlet featuring Zack/Sephiroth/Cloud [FFVII] in a modern college AU.)

2. Derek was sure the kid was there to kill him.

(from the upcoming sequel to Creature Comforts [Teen Wolf, pre-Derek/Stiles] that I really want to finish this weekend)

3. It was Derek's shitty luck that his cousin’s shitty car conked out just far enough from his house that he didn’t think he could manage to walk back without suffering heat stroke. He was already sweating because the air conditioning hadn't even pretended to blow anything that was cooler than the heat outside.

(from the upcoming looooong PWP of Derek/Stiles that's been on my hard drive for 4+ years)

4. They had lied to each other from the very beginning, when Leo led him astray into the quarry then attempted to blow him into kingdom come. Perhaps Riario had been telling only truth when he offered Leo forty days worth of temptations in one conversation to join him, but Leo didn't trust, hadn't trusted him then and wouldn't ever again. No, Leo had lied first, tried to kill him, and then Riario had struck back with trying to kidnap him with lies about art.

(from an experimental DVD Leo/Riario fic I was trying based on the song Love The Way You Lie by Skylar Grey. It probably won’t be finished.)

5. Zo was down to his last crumpled pack of cigarettes, and it was only the beginning of October. He'd have to remember to owl Amerigo again, even if the prick made him beg and pay double for more contraband to be smuggled in.

(Untitled OT3 meme ficlet featuring Leo/Vanessa/Zo at Hogwarts)

6. Zo always claimed he was just sitting there, innocent as a lamb, trying to relax and enjoy his night out at his favorite bar. Sure, he was savoring a couple drinks. Yeah, he'd maybe thought about trying to pick up someone for the night.

(Untitled OT3 meme ficlet featuring Leo/Riario/Zo pre-slash)

7. Kabu watched the scene in his kitchen from the protection of pretending to read his newspaper. Nirasawa was bustling around, occasionally mumbling to himself, pulling pots and gadgets out of various cupboards and examining them with an air of complete mystification.

(Form Over Function  the story that makes me the most ridiculously happy because I love these two fools with all my heart and there are only THREE  stories with them on AO3, and unfortunately, I have written 1/3 of those. Attempted comedy and smut with Kabu/Nirasawa from Bi no Isu and Kobi no Kyoujin)

8. “Nico, Nico, what in the name of all that is good and holy is this?!” Zo pounced on the bright yellow T-shirt Nico was about to stuff into his duffel with all the rest of the things he was taking home for Christmas break.

(Clothes Make the Man Riario/Zo )

9. “Are you sure it’s okay for us to camp here?” Scott asked, frowning at Stiles who was already enthusiastically shaking out a tent.

(Creature Comforts the weirdly popular fluffy gen story that is pre-Derek/Stiles sorta)

10. It was Zo’s big break, and he was not going to blow it.

(from the untitled modern OT3 AU Leo/Riario/Zo)

11. The first time it happened, Riario thought he was back on active duty. The earth trembled and he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, and he awoke wondering who was attacking the base this time.

(from the same untitled modern OT3 AU world as above Leo/Riario/Zo)

12. Leo acknowledged that, on some level, he took most things for granted. There were certain constants that he could count on—the earth revolved around the sun, the seasons changed in due course, and Zo would always be there for him.

(I REALLY need to finish the third one of these. Here’s the first line, Leo’s third part of the modern OT3 AU Leo/Riario/Zo)

13. Leo stared at the man before him, the one offering him the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, as many mysteries as he could ever imagine and the free opportunity to solve them.

(From my epic Leo/Riario rewrite of the series from Ep. 2 on titled Fire Meet Gasoline. This will probably never be written the way I see it in my head, but eh, who knows.)

14. “I just wish you would get out more,” Tifa told him again, standing over Cloud with her hands on her hips. It was the same posture and the same lecture she'd given his so many times that he knew it by heart. Cloud sighed and put his arm over his eyes to block her out.

(From my someday vampire comedy with Cloud/Zack.)

15. Leo slid his arm out from under the man with a move practiced over many late nights and early mornings. He was practically an artist of escaping from the beds of women and men before they woke up and expected anything from him—another round of sex, breakfast, or, even worse, a second date.

(Sigh of the Llama, or No One Wins a War on the Internet (Except Maybe Riario) my modern band AU with Leo/Riario and the optional Leo/Nico/Riario/Zo epilogue which still makes me giggle.)

16. Leo clapped his hands together and rubbed them gleefully even as Zo woke up with a start. “So, who do we have tonight?”

(Master of Desire Leo/Riario PWP)

17. “I'm not sure I can do it,” Nico turned his pale face up to Riario. “I've never killed anyone before.”

(Meme ficlet fill, no pairing, also on AO3 under A da Vinci Collection here)

18. “There's blood on your hands,” Riario murmured, grabbing Leo's wrists and turning the hands palm upward before Leo could touch him.

(Meme ficlet fill, Leo/Riario from the Thick as Thieves verse. Also on AO3 under A da Vinci Collection here.)

19. “I don't see why I have to be Daphne!” Nico wailed.

(Meme ficlet fill with some Leo/Riario under A da Vinci Collection here.)

20. Zo stared at the flyer his professor handed out. He'd seen them posted around campus the past few days as the spring semester began. Although the large, bolded PAID RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY first grabbed his attention, he'd quickly ignored the notice. While he could always use cash, he was not in a relationship, and frankly, none of his romantic liaisons had lasted anywhere near six months.

(Zo’s Long Con to Love Riario/Zo craziness)

I really need to finish some of this junk.

[soyoureviewhiphoptoo]

Reviewing XXL Freshman Class 2017

XXL have created something that gets the hip-hop world talking. A list of around ten up-and-coming artists are brought in for a cover story for the XXL magazine consisting of interviews, individual freestyles and group cyphers. While there have been debates whether or not the XXL list still holds relevance the modern day hip-hop, seeing as the culture has shifted from the lyrical rappers of the past and moved towards melodies over heavy production, it is very hard to dispute the system that has been established. With a LONG list of great talent that were past freshmen and the ease of creating conversation this brings, it is difficult is completely dismiss the impact of the XXL list.

In my opinion, the last few years have been lacklustre for the XXL list due to the hip-hop paradigm shift I mentioned earlier, leading to subpar freestyles and cyphers. However, when I saw the list, I was very hopeful to see some great things this year...and not just before this was the first year I knew all but one rapper on the list.

In this special review, I will be going through each of the cypher verses delivered by the 2017 Freshmen, breaking down the lyrics and generally giving unwanted criticism. Without further ado, here is the review of the XXL Freshman Class of 2017

XXL Freshman Cypher with Madeintyo, Playboi Carti, XXXTentacion and Ugly God

I feel that it is best to talk about this particular cypher first as it has generated the most conversation and had the largest reaction towards it (and not necessarily positive). This cypher consisted of Madeintyo, Playboi Carti, XXXTentacion and Ugly God and honestly, I was not overly impressed. The cypher kicked off with a verse by Young Carti. The A$AP Mob affiliate first made a name for himself, appearing Telephone Calls with A$AP Rocky and Tyler, The Creator before releasing his self-titled mixtape with the hit single Magnolia. As his freestyle clearly indicated, Playboi Carti is not the type of rapper to pull off a lyrical showcase although we were under impression that he could save himself when there is a beat to back...we were wrong. Carti lazily strings together a few words on each line, leaning heavily on his ad-libs...Issa no from me dawg. Next, we have Madeintyo. Best known for his singles Uber Everywhere, I Want (with 2 Chainz) and Skateboard P (both the original and the remix with Big Sean), Mr Tokyo came in as a promising prospect for this cypher. While his flow is great on this track, he doesn’t fully utilise his lyrical skill and with the dramatically short length of his verse, it leaves you underwhelmed. The third man up is Young Pussy Bacon himself, Ugly God. With songs like Water, Booty From a Distance, I Beat My Meat and F*ck Ugly God, he makes it clear that he is a comedic rapper that you don’t need to take seriously and you can just laugh at how ridiculous his rhymes are. If you listen to the other two cypher verses, they are very clearly off-the-dome freestyles. Ugly God was also able to flow off-the-dome unlike Madeintyo and Playboi Carti, he is able to flow naturally and he is even able to borrow flows from his fellow artists. Ugly God lets off a positive vibe that brings back the fun to cypher rapping.

Then the fun abruptly stops...

Walking into the camera’s view, he crouches down and looks down into the ground as the DJ, Sonny Digital, stops the beat. One of the more controversial artists in the new age of Hip-Hop starts his verse with two lines that kills the upbeat party mood entirely and catches every person listening off guard.

And if the world ever has an apocalypse I will kill all of you fuckers

XXXTentacion is certainly an out-of-the-box rapper. Rising to popularity following the release of his hit single, Look At Me while he was in jail, X cultivated the largest fan following of any of the Freshmen this year. His large fan following naturally led to a lot of hype going towards his potential cypher verse. I must say, X has given the world the most intriguing, outlandish cypher verse in the history of XXL. Delivering an acapella verse detailing his murderous intentions if the world were to end and denouncing all forms of religion.

What is your faith? What is your worth? Have you felt acknowledgement? If I kill you now, will you go to heaven or hell you believe in?

While his verse has given him the label of an evil, satanic preacher trying to summon the vilest demons from the very pits of hell, it is a very interesting take on a cypher that almost forces you to listen to every single word he says. 

Best Verse: XXXTentacion Worse Verse: Playboi Carti

XXL Freshman Cypher with Kamaiyah, Kap G and PnB Rock

Next up, I will discuss the last cypher released on the XXL channel. This Cypher consists of Kamaiyah, Kap G and PnB Rock and I feel that this cypher was the best in terms of bars being sprayed and seeing as it was comprised of three of the more underrated artists in this Freshman Class, it definitely deserved a bit more credit.

It starts off with PnB Rock who (while I did just call underrated) is one of the more well-known artists on this list. Rising to fame with his hit single Selfish and his subsequent album release GTTM: Goin Thru The Motions, Rock made a name for himself as a RnB singer so I did not have any expectations in terms of his rap skills. Needless to say, I was proven wrong. Rock goes on to spit a short story of a girl he had just met for a one night stand and while his attitude was not what you would call “gentlemanly”, she would be attracted to his brashness, prompting her to call her friend for a threesome...only in the world of rap. While Rock makes what I like to call “f*ckboy music”, I really enjoyed his flow and energy on this verse and it made me overlook the morality of it all. For the next artist, I have a confession to make. I had never heard of Kap G before the reveal of this cover...frankly, he was the only artist on this cover I did not know. I now that he is a Georgia native who has been active since 2011, gaining attention with singles La Policia, Girlfriend and Freakin n Geekin. I had decided to not listen to a single Kap G song until I heard his cypher verse. Unfair, I know but to his credit, Kap speeds through with a strong freestyle. Unlike PnB Rock and Kamaiyah after him, Kap chooses to hit with a fast delivery for his bars and while it seems like he goes too fast to catch the beat, he is able to compose himself and save the flow.

Uh, Kap, Rollie all on my wrist Rollie all on my bitch, uh

Kap G even borrows some bars from 21 Savage’s cypher verse from 2016. I think that was very cool.

Finally, we have Oakland M.C., Kamaiyah. Strong rapper in her own right, she first made a big name for herself, appearing alongside YG and Drake on the single, Why You Always Hatin?. She came in as one of the stronger and more “traditional” rappers and this cypher verse is a strong indicator. At 152 seconds, Kamaiyah completely takes over this cypher with the longest cypher verse in XXL history; she pretty much hijacks the song and makes it her own. Kamaiyah really brings out an old school flow over this beat it is a breath of fresh air. Kamaiyah definitely delivered one of the stronger verses of this year. My only problem is that she is keeping the same flow and a similar rhyme scheme over a longer period of time, which can become boring over multiple listens.

Best Verse: Kamaiyah Worst Verse: Kap G

XXL Freshman Cypher with Kyle, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie and Amine

Consisting of Kyle, A Boogie and Amine, The first cypher released this year was the best cypher of this year...Yes, I said it.

First off, we have Kyle. Kyle is actually one of the artists in this class that I’ve known of the longest, first hearing his song, Lexicon under his old moniker, K.I.D back in 2012. In recent history, he would release big singles Really? Yeah!, Doubt It and his hit single, iSpy (with Lil Yachty). Kyle kick off the cypher, literally blasting into the spotlight like a bi-racial Buzz Lightyear and spit the best cypher verse of this year...it is the just truth. He has the best verse in any of the three cyphers for a few reasons: he flexes his lyrical dexterity with his happy, yet confident flow that he is able to switch easily from full-blown rapping to talking to singing to rapping again. He gets you immediately into the positive and bouncy vibe of the cypher and frankly, he makes it hard for A Boogie and Amine to follow...which is crazy considering they both had very good verses.

Don't got no gold but my record is platinum So picture perfect I don't need a caption I don't give a fuck 'bout how long you been rappin' Got flow so old I could spit 'em in Latin

Starting off the cypher with bars like that and giving off a vibe that makes a man stand still and fold his arms and smile like this. Kyle wins, man.

Next up, we have A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. When I first heard of this guy, I had a thought most people probably “What kind of rap name is that?”. It is very hard to take rappers who have their names as long phrases or sentences seriously. Anyway, A Boogie is possibly the most successful of the freshman this year, release numerous hit singles (My Shit, Jungle, Timeless and Drowning featuring Kodak Black) all within the space of a year. Making a name for himself with melody driven raps, it was interesting to see A Boogie change up the flow and spit some bars for the cypher. Giving his verse a mixture of a straight rap style and a melodic rap near the end, A Boogie carries himself well, delivering a strong brag verse that carries on a strong vibe. Finally, we have the aforementioned Amine. Making it big, following the release of the hit single (and one of my favourite songs from 2016), Caroline, Amine was one of the people I was genuinely excited to see on this cover. Amine comes in to spit a story verse for his cypher. What I appreciated about this verse more than PnB Rock’s verse from his cypher is that Amine talks about a very different story than we are used to in raps; going to an ex-girlfriend’s wedding and realising she was not as great as he had thought when they were together, dismissing her new relationship and bragging about how great he actually is without her, telling her she was the one who missed out. 

Best Verse: Kyle Worst Verse: A Boogie

As for my opinion on the 2017 Freshman Class, I appreciate how there are more rappers on this cover that can be considered as “lyrical”, leading the perception that the XXL cover is a strong representation of the state of up-and-coming rappers these days (which is not necessarily true). With this in mind, this class is far from the greatest. There are some talented rappers on this cover but some of the artists on here lack a defining character that sets them apart from the already established rappers in what one person could call the “new golden age of rap”, leading me to believe that some of the talent here do not have longevity in the industry. Still, listening to these cyphers and giving a listen to these artists’ discographies is certainly worth while. 

The artists that I would personally recommend are Kyle, Amine, Ugly God (if you are into strange, comedy rap), Kamaiyah and XXXTentacion (despite his odd name and the fact that he is “a murderer, son of a serpent”).

While the 2017 Class may indicate an upward trend towards future Freshman classes, it, sadly, does not measure up to the past.

There is a reason why the 2013 has arguably regarded as the greatest overall class (excluding Kirko Bangs and Trinidad Jame$...)