#even then. the misogyny is stuff im unlearning too

[iayos]

𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 (𝐄𝐖𝐖) !

jjk boys and their icks… because no man is perfect…

jjk boys x implied fem!reader

cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanami’s part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumi’s part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda

a / n : long time no see… not much to say other than i’ve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)

yuji itadori - bad grammar

giving him the tamest one tbh because he’s such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar… like he’s smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and two’s, his there’s, and don’t get me started on your vs you’re :/ again he’s the sweetest boy ever ! it’s just the fact he probably failed his lit classes…

megumi fushiguro - “females”…

i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didn’t cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand… look, i don’t think he’d say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely don’t think it’s on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.

yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person

you guys know how elmo is like, “elmo wants to go to the park,” yeah… yuta does this. and no, it’s not ironically. he definitely thinks it’s cute too and sometimes it is ! but it’s to an extent. like it’s cute the first couple times where he is goes, “yuta loves you,” but then it gets weird and corny when he’s like, “yuta wants to get dinner,” like ermmmm ok…

toge inumaki - fish pics.

as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who don’t know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it… i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so that’s why i hate it. anyways i’m 90% sure he has an official art where he’s holding a fish ( i also didn’t know what ick to give him ).

satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality

this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone who’s short ( 5’0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, it’s even worst when it’s a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, “omg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee i’m so tallll,” like no you’re just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of… ik he gets on everyone’s nerves.

suguru geto - says “my bad” instead of “im sorry”

another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if it’s something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didn’t fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, “my bad,” like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like he’s pretty clumsy and say if shoko’s studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books he’ll say “my bad” and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???

nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick

“my member” you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be ‘classy’ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think it’s a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he won’t even say penis half the time. like it’s really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).

choso - using 🥺 / 🥹

oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, it’s cornball behavior. like aren’t you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i don’t think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses 😂 instead of 😭… sorry choso…

song : ick - lay bankz

[eirian]

ive been Thinking. and ive come to a conclusion

for a while ive had this feeling of like..since i am afab (nonbinary) and identify as a lesbian, i have some sort of weird obligation to create content that has more women and lesbians in it. like its my duty to do that. or something. because there ARENT a lot of well-written women in fiction compared to men, and i do wish there was, and i can be the change i want to see in the world!!

but also ive always been way more interested in fictional men than women, probably BECAUSE there arent a lot of interesting ones out there that catch my eye. plus, i recently found out im pretty attracted to masculinity--not men per se, just masculinity--but that generally points me in the direction of fictional men. also, my gender stuff kind of makes me project onto fictional men as well. ive always enjoyed drawing male characters more, i always chose to play as male video game characters, i always get attached to male blorbos...idk. i have a thing for Fictional Men even if i wouldnt date a guy irl and am in a happy lesbian marriage

what im saying is im realizing i dont think i can just force myself to create stuff im just not that interested in making even if it would be really cool to have. so im not going to <3 like idk why but for some reason i just dont enjoy creating women as much as i do men even if i design them very masculinely. i dont get it

and sure maybe its also internalized misogyny! thats a real thing i probably still struggle with. it took me forever to realize ppl can look like anything and dont have to conform to cisnormative standards of appearance (women can have beards, men can have boobs, etc.) so i dont doubt i still have stuff to unlearn irt my fictional interests. but as of right now this is where im at

idk. i just love creating dude characters. i dont know why and idk if i'll ever know why. all i know is that it makes me happy so im gonna keep doing it. if a girl pops up in my brain then hallelujah but if one doesnt then thats ok too

[femgirlfriend-moved]

I reblogged your post about how ppl are uncomfortable with the idea of womanhood and someone called me transphobic bc of it (I guess they thought you were saying ppl only transition bc they have internalized misogyny? Idk) so I just wanted to say that you’re right and you should say it. My whole life I’ve appeared more androgynous bc I simply do not care about dolling myself up, and the ONLY ppl who’ve misgendered me are other queer ppl who see my short hair and small tits and assume I’m nonbinary, EVEN at work where I have my pronouns on my name badge. and I STILL overhear my queer coworkers using they/them to refer to me even though I’ve told them several times my pronouns are she/her. Idk if it’s misplaced transmisogyny (I’m a cis woman) or if their brains are too small to comprehend a woman not shaving her body hair or wearing makeup but it’s SO annoying

omg yeah i did NOT mean that, i wasn't even talking about transition or trans men at all, that post was actually made with gay women in mind and seeing some stuff on here and how they seem to not have unlearned misogyny as much as they think. every talk about misogyny gets derailed because at the end of the day people don't want to accept the fact that being lgbt does not automatically erase learned misogyny, and in some cases it actually becomes a weapon to be misdirected at the ones who are too aware of it which is, usually, lesbians. people are STILL very attached to gender stereotypes but in this case it's that they desperately seek the absence and opposite of it, and through that, without real personal healing, they only manage to recreate it. they also jump from one extreme to another, when the reality is that we live in a deeply misogynistic world, have misogynistic views of women that we need to unlearn, and that doesn't mean some people don't want to transition or that wanting to transition is not "real" or bad. these two can coexist. not only do they coexist, but both unlearning misogyny and unlearning transphobia are directly benefitting eachother since they have similar roots. insane thought for some. also im so sorry and i hope your situation gets better and more respectful 😞

[menalez]

Hello, I would like your opinion on my thoughts. Where I live, we have many Indian immigrants. The people who were able to immigrate here were at the top of the caste system in India. (There have been lawsuits about the few people in lower castes who came over being discriminated against in the workplace by those of higher castes.) What this translates to is many of the highest caste men displaying a lot of entitlement. This is saying nothing about their race, but in regards to how you grow up culturally. I assume you would agree an observer of this pattern is not racist. Correct me if I’m wrong

As you said, immigrant men are equally misogynistic as American men, they just express it differently. I agree and with porn conditioning most American men I can’t say Im sure who dehumanizes women more. I suppose the best comparison is public vs private exploitation. Anyway, would you not agree that men who have been raised in a culture where rape is more commonplace would be more likely to rape when thrust into a new culture (whether it’s a woman of their background or one of another)? Or would you say the same amount takes place and it’s just more hidden and socially acceptable (such as through coercion and grooming)?

I’m not intending to debate immigration policy or the separation of women from sons or husbands.

im going to speak on my experiences as i can’t comment on indian men. in bahrain, growing up, i had a very specific idea of rape. i remember when i was raped, my australian (of pakistani & palestinian heritage before ppl assume he’s white) friend had to sit there and explain to me how what i went through was rape. i thought that it was my fault because after my rapist said if i don’t comply he’ll do worse to me, i agreed to do some things. i had no idea that coercion is a form of rape, bc to me (and other ppl who grew up in Bahrain & countries with similar mindsets) rape is saying no the whole way through and constantly fighting and i didn’t do that. i gave up and gave in. and keep in mind, i come from a somewhat westernised and very left-wing family. so if that was MY mindset, imagine how the average person in Bahrain thinks of rape.

rape is definitely a major issue, and incredibly common. sexual harassment is even more common, and men will constantly sexually harass women and see nothing wrong with it. that’s just the mindset held here. men are raised to be entitled, even their mothers encourage this entitlement. marital rape is legal and it’s incredibly difficult to prosecute a rapist because there should be two witnesses (if both are male, if ur witness is a female u need more than 2 iirc). so there is basically no actual consequence to begin with. so men here are taught that they’re superior, that they are entitled to women, that if a woman isn’t covered then she’s asking for it, that it’s the woman’s responsibility not to get raped rather than the man’s responsibility to not rape, that coercion and grooming and marital rape and such are all a-ok and not rape. so because of all of this, a culture of rape being basically acceptable is created. women partake in this culture too, we are raised in the same society holding those same ideas so a lot of us won’t even think much of it until it affects us personally.

i can’t speak on how these men would act outside. i doubt they’d just magically unlearn that stuff on their own. i do think that services that teach migrants on acceptable behaviour and things about rape and what is rape, why it’s wrong, etc is good. even in the west, everyone in my university was put through consent classes telling us these things that many would assume is common sense (it certainly should be). many will laugh it off and call it stupid, but i think it’s necessary. even in the west there is debate on if having sex with an unconscious woman is rape. or if having sex with a drunk woman is rape. education on this is necessary in my opinion. as for who does it more, i don’t know. there are multiple factors that come into play with crime rates, and white men will often get away with more so it’s hard to say who commits more crime with that in mind. are men from more overtly misogynistic societies more likely to do such things, or are they more likely to be held accountable for it? when i looked into the crime statistics of asylum seekers, i found that German men aged 14 to 30 made up half of the perpetrators of violent crime in Germany despite only being 9% of the German population. so men of a certain age are more likely to partake in violent crime… so what does that mean for asylum seekers, when in Germany 16 to 30 year old males make up 29% of asylum seekers? what that tells us is that they’re probably behind the higher crime rate among asylum seekers, because they’re overrepresented among asylum seekers. so based on all the info i have…. i can’t say for sure. i certainly don’t think they’re less misogynistic, but it’s hard to say whether they’re MORE misogynistic and MORE violent, or if they’re just more open with their misogyny & more likely to be held accountable / caught.

[wickymicky]

long personal post about grimes

sorry about this post. i had to get this out of my head.

okay one more post about grimes i promise and then i’ll try to stop talking about and thinking about this shit person for a while, but this song (linked at the bottom of this post) literally changed my life. that’s not a joke. i can trace a lot of things in my life back to hearing and becoming obsessed with this song. i owe it a lot. it’s not a perfect song, but it’s perfect to me, and i met people because of becoming a grimes fan after hearing this song that i’m glad i got to know. 

i had a grimes mutual who i talked with sometimes, and they were dating another grimes fan at the time, and i was talking to that second one a bit and i thought they had a lot in common with my partner, so i introduced my partner to these two and they became really close lol. my partner, remy, ended up becoming really good friends with them, and flew out to arizona to spend a week with one of them, our friend charlie, in 2018. the other one, milo, is still a friend of mine too. milo got into kpop a couple years before i did and follows this sideblog actually lol. neither milo nor i went by our current names when we met, we’ve grown a lot over the years. 

it’s not even about grimes anymore lmao it’s more about the impact her music and being a fan of her music had on me. it’s not just those two friends either, it’s that her music helped set me on the path i’m still on today. maybe i’ve progressed further down that path than grimes ever will lmao, who knows. or my path is aimed in a (hopefully) good direction, while her path is aimed at (apparently) just being garbage in all the possible ways. 

i think i found this song in the related videos on a youtube video of a song by purity ring or something lol, it was pretty new at the time i think. i dont remember exactly when... i think it was over the summer of 2015. the video was posted in march and art angels came out in november, so i think i probably found it around may or june. it was a really rough time for me. it was the summer after my first year of college. when i started that first year of college, i was dating someone, and when i ended that first year, i had had not one but two really shitty breakups from shitty relationships. i only dated the second person for a couple months, but it culminated in her calling the cops on me when she thought i was suicidal, so.... anyway, yeah. also in my first semester i failed two classes. when i came back to school in the fall for my third semester, i failed more classes, had another really bad semi-relationship, and was placed on academic suspension which means that for the spring of 2016 i was home while all my friends were on campus. i was depressed and unsure of what to do about my adhd making me really bad at school, lol. 

i mean like when i discovered this grimes song, it was before that stuff from the fall of 2015, but when that fall 2015 stuff was happening, i escaped into her music a lot. i started dating my current partner towards the end of that semester too, the first person who i felt like actually cared about me (and who had been a close friend for a while at that point), so i associate grimes’s music a lot with things like that too. with feeling sorry for myself and with feeling like i shouldnt have to be someone im not. just because the system doesnt work for me doesnt mean i have to change myself. maybe college isnt for me after all. i ended up going back and then dropping out in 2017 but... anyway. grimes’s music also represents dating my current partner and realizing that i’m not straight and eventually, little by little, that i’m not cis. it was the soundtrack to everything that was going on for me at that time. 

im not sure im really capturing in words all the significance it has on me. it did other things too, like open up my taste in music and expose me to pop music or pop-style music when i had spent most of my time avoiding pop music because of... idk... toxic masculinity? internalized... idk... internalized homophobia? misogyny? transphobia? not wanting to acknowledge that i could like things that were girly? whatever that means? take your pick lol. its not like i was a macho bro, i was just avoiding things. didnt wanna think about them. thats why even though i listen to a lot of pop and dance music now, my music-fan-background is mostly punk, ska punk, death metal, black metal, and a tiny bit of underground hiphop that i got into in college, and of course, a tiny bit of nu metal i was unfortunately into in middle and high school lmao. i had a lot to unlearn and im glad i have been doing that! i think on some level though, it’s not because of grimes, i was started to dabble with these feelings and realizations anyway, and if it wasnt grimes it would have been someone or something else. as i said, i found this song from a purity ring video, so i was already dabbling in music and aesthetic that were outside my typical aggressive comfort zone lol. but anyway, grimes is the one i latched onto. i dont regret it, i just wish everything that’s been happening with her in the last two years was uh... not happening. 

long story short... this song changed my life