#every explanation will be awful i think which is why I'm dying to know

[daz4i]

if abilities are manifested from trauma...... I'm terribly curious what caused mori to manifest his

[ceterisparibus116]

Hey. Why do you think Karen Page is a character people seem to hate so much? I’m fairly new to the fandom and I’ve seen people even badmouthing the actress as well, which is awful. I am curious to know what you think about it.

Welcome to the fandom! 💖 I'm so excited for you and I'm super happy that, despite being newish, you're interacting like this. (It took me an embarrassing amount of time to be brave enough to send asks to people lol.)

Also, this is such an interesting question.

I want to address the attacks against Deborah Ann Woll first. No matter how anyone feels about a character, it's absolutely despicable to attack the actor over it. Most of the attacks I've seen have been about her looks, or about her acting abilities. It's fine to critique acting abilities, but looks should be off the table. But even the critiques of her acting abilities aren't actually critiques - they're just, like you said, badmouthing, with little to no analysis. To me, that indicates that they're hating on the actress just because they're emotional (angry or annoyed) over the character.

So why do people get so emotional over Karen?

I think the easiest explanation is: ship wars. Some people struggle to enjoy their favorite ship without tearing down competitor ships. And since Karedevil is one of the few ships that was actually canon (albeit temporarily, but S3 ended with them being pretty flirty again), Karen becomes a huge target.

Another explanation is that Karen appears to be written inconsistently. Personally, I don't think she actually is (except perhaps in The Punisher; I'm not sure because I've only seen S1 of The Punisher). The argument goes: "She loves Daredevil until she finds out Daredevil is Matt, and then she treats it like an addiction, despite being supportive of Frank."

The counter-argument, to me, is clear: she still loves Daredevil, but she hates being lied to and put on a pedestal. Matt did both of those things. Frank (for the most part) did neither of those things. Her issue is with Matt, not Daredevil (which she makes explicitly clear in S3E1, but people still apparently confused on this point). With that in mind, I think she's written consistently in an incredibly nuanced way.

Another explanation is that Karen is a character who doesn't learn from her mistakes. She's rash and reckless and she lies just as much as Matt, and more often than not, people end up dead because of it. Ben is the most obvious and chilling example. Yet even after her actions get Ben killed, and she expresses serious guilt and remorse, she continues to do the same thing. That makes people wonder: is she stupid? Or, worse: was her guilt and remorse only an expression of her personal grief, and not actually the result of evaluating her actions affected Ben?

This, to me, is the most fair critique of Karen, and I sympathize with people who dislike her because of it. I will point out, however, that Matt and Foggy also repeat the same mistakes. It's obvious with Matt; it's talked about less often with Foggy, but I roll my eyes every time he acts like Matt and Karen are being reckless for wanting to operate outside the law - despite the fact that every time they limit their plans to operating inside the law, people end up dead. This makes me wonder: is Foggy stupid? Or does he simply care more about keeping Matt and Karen alive (and out of jail) than he cares about other people dying?

The actual explanation, I think, is that Daredevil is a show about very flawed and surprisingly realistic characters. People rarely shake off old habits and bad ways of thinking quickly. No matter how many times you tell a person that their friends are there for them, they (like Matt) may continue to push people away if that's their coping mechanism. No matter how many times you tell a person to ask for help before doing something alone, they (like Karen) may continue to go rogue if that gives them some feeling of control over their lives. No matter how many times you tell a person that the systems they want to trust are broken, they (like Foggy) may continue insisting that everyone should trust the system if they continue seeing the world through a lens of privilege.

Can it be frustrating to watch? Absolutely. Is it a good reason to hate a character? I'd say no, but I guess that's more subjective. Is it a reminder to all of us to be gentle and patient both with ourselves and with other people when we find ourselves making the same mistakes over and over? I hope so!

I've said before that I sometimes feel self-conscious over the fact that, in my longer stories, a character's growth is rarely linear. It's usually what I think of as a spiral. They make a mistake, they learn from it...and then the stakes rise, and so they fall back on that old mistake again, since it's comfortable and familiar, rather than trying a new approach. Or the character tries to blend the old mistake with the new approach, to varying degrees of success. Sometimes I worry that this feels repetitive, or like the character isn't learning.

But from the comments I've received, people seem to appreciate it more often than not. They resonate with it and relate to it.

So now that I think of it...maybe the root problem is simply that Daredevil doesn't have author's notes telling us why Karen (and Foggy and Matt) are making the same mistake again. 😅

Or maybe people are more compassionate towards characters in fanfiction than on TV? Or maybe people are more compassionate towards the main character than the side character? Or maybe it's misogyny? Or maybe people are just less compassionate towards Karen in particular because she threatens their favorite ship.

Aaaaand this post has come full circle.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I was wondering how do you think Meghan Fitzmartin feels about Stephanie?

The preface to any thoughts I have on Fitzmartin and Steph is this: I have a policy that every comic creative is allowed to like one (1) objectively awful book, because no one can have universally good taste and sometimes it just scratches an itch you have. But reading an interview with Meghan where she mentioned that one of her favorite Bat comics was War Games absolutely threw me for a loop, and it makes me really nervous about how she might write Steph moving forward (ONE FEAR and everything).

Short explanation of War Games for those unaware of why liking this particular event sends up red flags: Bruce fires Steph as Robin because she refuses to listen to him, so to prove herself she steals info Bruce has gathered on a bunch of gangs and tries to control them all. She miscalculates because she didn't know that Bruce and 'Matches Malone' were the same person, and it ultimately kickstarts a gang war and gets Steph captured, brutally tortured, and killed by Black Mask as a consequence. This event also features Tim's school friend Darla being unceremoniously shot for shock value in front of Tim's school and dying his arms plus Dick NOT dealing with the fallout from Blockbuster's death+his rape by Tarantula because he had to go deal with the gang war instead. It's an incredibly cruel and misogynistic comic to Steph and easily one of the Top 5 worst Batfam events ever written.

..........yeah. You can see why Meghan name-dropping it as a favorite comic is cause for concern among Steph fans. Generally, I appreciate that she seems to have a good grasp on Tim's character and the best of intentions for every character she works with (and what their fans want for them), but I don't have particularly high hopes for her Steph. She's said before that she really loves both Tim and Steph:

I’ve [also] always really liked Tim, I think in part because he was in Batman: The Animated Series. But the more I was getting into Tim even for [Robin Eternal], the more I was like, “This poor child.” I recognized this desire to do good, especially with his relationship with Stephanie. Tim and Stephanie are so interesting to me as a dynamic. Stephanie is so unapologetically herself, and a mess, and living her best life, which is also a mess. Tim is, I think, drawn to that aspect of her and it’s so cool. Even growing up, I was like, this is so cool to see the struggle of these two characters. I think Stephanie was who I wanted to be, and Tim was sort of who I felt that I was. -Fiztmartin in an interview for The Geekiary [x]

So that's technically the answer she's given about how she feels about Steph. But her treatment of Steph thus far hasn't impressed me; between breaking Tim and Steph up off-panel and not addressing it for a full year and her treatment of their relationship in YJ Dark Crisis, she's given Steph little to no agency or voice in this entire mess she's made, and thus far has written Steph as little more than a supportive-but-somewhat pushy background character. So ultimately, I think Fitzmartin likes the idea of Stephanie. I'm not necessarily as sure what she likes about Stephanie in practice.

Of course, I don't really expect Steph's POV to be centered in a Tim-centric story because that's unfair to both of them; Steph should have gotten her own POV story dedicated to dealing with the breakup from her perspective, and it's not Meghan's fault the Batgirls co-writers were uninterested in exploring that and no one else at DC is willing to let a Steph solo story happen right now. But her handling of Steph is still concerning given Dark Crisis and I'm not really sure where we go from here.

Nearly anything is going to be better than Tynion (who kind of actively disliked her), Bendis (who had no clue what to do with her), and Cloonan/Conrad (who write her like she's 14 rather than the 20/21-year-old she's supposed to be)...but Tim's solo is inevitably going to have Steph in it and I'm not super excited about it given Fitzmartin's handling of her so far. I guess we'll see, though. Maybe she'll surprise me.

[drysdaales]

Hiya! Would you be willing to share more of your thoughts about the lawsuit arc? I am rewatching it now and I'm having all sorts of new feelings about it!

hi there! i can definitely share them! i will say that a lot of my thoughts (especially on my first rewatch) were colored by my experience in the fandom at the time, which is a lot of why i left the fandom in the first place (but i'm back and better than ever!)

disclaimer: these are my thoughts, and i don't think that many of the people i interacted with/read posts from back then were doing or saying things maliciously, but taken together, it left a bad taste in my mouth. (also it got long sorry anon u did not ask for an essay lol!)

a lot of it stems from a gross mischaracterization of buck. if someone grossly mischaracterizes buck, then it follows that they will, in response to that, likely mischaracterize eddie and bobby, especially surrounding the episodes 3x04, 3x05, and 3x06.

hindsight is 20/20, and i think, now knowing what we do about the buckley parents, eddie, bobby, etc, there's a better grasp on the situation, but it's become this fodder for a fight because there's an inability to distinguish nuance from "right and wrong." and tbqh, maybe this is a hot take, but their actions aren't ooc to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

to start: bobby keeping buck from work without an explanation? that's kind of brutal. i think we can say that. bobby and athena inviting buck over for dinner and buck finding out that it was bobby who kept him out? also brutal! we can say that bobby's motivations were good while knowing that maybe the way he went about it was not so good. that doesn't make bobby a bad person! it makes him human, prone to overthinking. that's his trauma rearing its ugly head.

buck seeing lena's name taped over his? when we know (now?) how much he fears being left? another sting! that, coupled with finding out about bobby's "betrayal" in his mind, leads him to make an impulsive (and very bad) decision to sue bobby. like... in his right mind? i think he wouldn't have done that. but he wasn't in his right mind. so neither of them are right, but neither of them are wrong. and sometimes that can be hard, but nuance exists for a reason. he's not a bad person, just impulsive, didn't think it through! again, human. that's buck's trauma rearing its ugly head.

eddie finding out that buck is suing the department, therefore going no contact with eddie (and christopher) and has shared personal information with his (awful) lawyer? i think eddie has every right to be mad about that. eddie calling buck exhausting? NOT great. we know that. we know that! but you know what else we know? that eddie was grieving, and eddie was hurting, and he was missing someone he'd come to rely heavily on since his wife's death. so again. he's not right, but he's not wrong. this is, you guessed it: eddie's trauma rearing its ugly head.

the lawsuit arc is excellent writing, because it's an amalgam of good people in shitty situations making poor choices because they're scared and letting their traumas affect their reactions (a very human thing to do, imo). bobby's scared he's going to lose buck permanently (i.e. in 3x18 "i'm tired of being on the wrong side of those hospital doors"). buck's scared he's going to lose his whole family (see: his entire life pre-joining the 118). eddie's scared that someone is leaving him again, just after he'd reaffirmed his trust in them (see: him proposing to shannon again and her telling him she wants a divorce and then also dying.)

the lawsuit arc also makes my skin crawl because of how people just...refused to see any nuance in it, and instead painted the entire 118 as villains, and "rewrote" canon to have buck being angry and calling it "fix-it fic." i say often that we tend to re-litigate (no pun intended lmao) the lawsuit arc every few months because there's a misunderstanding somewhere with "ugh why would bobby be so mean to buck! why would eddie call buck exhausting buck doesn't deserve this!" there's no need to keep rehashing old arguments. we can all interpret art the way we so choose, but there is a difference between interpretation and foregoing canon entirely, and it's made that arc a difficult one for me to appreciate.

tl;dr: the lawsuit arc is great and NOT ooc but people don't understand nuance and have therefore made it difficult for me to watch.

[eddiesdiaz]

How do we feel about Stackson plus Derek? I'm just. I'm a mess about Stiles being sandwiched between two emotionally constipated, muscly, overprotective assholes that don't understand how to say "I love you". I'm a mess about Stiles anchoring them back to their humanity and letting them know they're not monsters, being good and sweet to them, better than anyone ever has been, and letting them be good to each other too. I'm a mess in general tbh.

umm, we love. we love a lot, actually. allow me to paint you a picture, my friend.

stiles and jackson are together first. it’s complicated, to say the least - it starts with contempt and shame and venomous insults murmured to one another as they fuck with the passion of a thousand suns. then all of that slowly falls away, everything except the passion, which feels less and less like hate with each passing day and more like something else. something they don’t talk about, not ever, because talking isn’t something they do. they let it evolve, though, from petty hostility to comfortable silence. to something almost resembling a friendship. it works for them, as long as they don’t stop to think about it for too long.

then jackson up and moves to london. no warning, no explanation, no goodbye. stiles can’t even find it in himself to be mad at him, because he understands why he did it. and he doesn’t owe anything to stiles, not really. they were never supposed to be anything more than fun, a way to let off steam, and the kind of brutal, vulnerable honesty it would have taken to have this conversation isn’t something that had ever been present between the two of them. sure, stiles has always had a talent for inferring jackson’s feelings - his innermost thoughts, his deepest insecurities. but he’s never once actually been proven right, never had jackson tell him what he’s thinking point-blank. 

so he’s not mad, but he is a little bit heartbroken. he misses jackson every day, is constantly torn between wanting to call and make sure he’s alright and giving him space. he grieves him like he would any other breakup, though he’s not even sure this could be considered one, takes it one day at a time until eventually he finds his way to derek.

derek is very much the same and also completely different. he calls stiles an idiot with an exasperated-but-almost fond sigh that’s so familiar it makes his chest ache, but they fall into each other in a much more conventional way. they grow to like each other, then they kiss, then they fuck. it’s the complete opposite of how it happened with jackson, and so it feels more healthy, more legitimate, maybe. he falls for derek hard, and he puts his all into being with him, because he can’t handle it falling apart. he won’t survive being left again. 

derek’s painfully similar in that he’s absolutely god-awful about talking about his feelings in any capacity, but he does manage to articulate to stiles why exactly that is. he makes a point to explain it to stiles early-on in their relationship, tells him he’s been hurt so many times by so many people that he genuinely doesn’t understand when people actually care for him. he apologizes profusely, tells stiles he deserves better than someone so damaged and shut-off and profoundly difficult to get close to. 

stiles, though, just appreciates the maturity and the honesty. he kisses derek’s tears away and tells him it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than some stunted communication abilities to scare him off. that it’s okay, they don’t have to be super emotional and touchy-feely all the time, because he knows how derek feels about him, and that’s all he needs. and it is. they’re happy.

fast forward maybe a year and a half or so, and jackson comes back. just waltzes right back into beacon hills with as little notice as when he left, sending stiles into a spiral of what-ifs and anxiety attacks and heart-rates so fast derek worries he’s dying. stiles kind of feels like he is, if he’s being honest.

so he tells derek everything, because there’s no way to avoid it, really. he tells him about what he and jackson had, what it had started to maybe turn into, how stiles fell too hard too fast and didn’t even realize it until he was gone. derek listens, and once stiles is finished, he asks, quietly, “do you still…?”

stiles can’t lie. it’s half a sentence at best, but it’s derek actively trying to have a conversation about this, it’s derek being vulnerable instead of shutting down or running away, and stiles will be damned if he takes advantage of that and lies to his face like every other piece of shit from his past. so he swallows, nods slowly, and says, “yeah, i think i do.”

he hates himself when he says it, and he gets a little hysterical, taking derek’s hands and saying “i’m so sorry, baby, please don’t leave me, it doesn’t mean i love you any less,” until derek shushes him. he takes stiles’ face in his hands and kisses him until he stops shaking and the tears subside.

“he’s my first beta, stiles,” derek tells him. “he…i always felt this connection with him, stronger than anything i’d ever felt before. i pushed him away because i knew we wouldn’t be any good for each other, and i was scared, but i…i always wanted him. i still do.” 

stiles swears he feels the weight of the entire world lift off his shoulders, and he says “fuck, i love you,” before proceeding to kiss derek stupid. he fucks him into the mattress, too, with lots of soft kisses, just to really drive his point home.

they take a couple days to process everything, the majority of which stiles spends glued to derek’s side, cuddling the hell out of him so he doesn’t forget, even for a second, how he feels about him. and then, once they’re both ready, they invite jackson to the loft for dinner.

they have a plan, have practically written a whole script for the night’s conversation complete with all of jackson’s possible responses and how to address each one, but it all goes out the window the second stiles lays eyes on him. jackson smirks at him, says “hey, stilinski,” and stiles is transported back to sophomore year, when jackson would let himself into stiles’ house and greet him exactly the same way, complete with a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. it’s only natural for stiles to react by leaning in to press their lips together.

jackson relaxes against his lips for the briefest of seconds before he startles and pulls away, looking from stiles to derek and back again with wide eyes.

stiles just smiles at him and says “it’s okay, jacks. he knows i love you.” he says it so easily, so earnestly, despite the fact that he’s never said it to jackson before. it’s definitely news to jackson, judging by the look on his face. “he does, too,” stiles adds carefully after a moment.

derek must hear jackson’s heart beating out of his chest, because he steps forward then and rests a gentle hand on his cheek. “i know you’re nervous. we are too,” he says, brushing his fingers against jackson’s ridiculously perfect jaw. “but i really think this is how it was always supposed to be.”

“can i really…” jackson breathes, hesitantly, more unsure than stiles has ever heard him sound. he and derek both nod at him encouragingly until jackson gathers the courage to lean in and kiss derek. it’s soft at first, but then derek licks into his mouth, pulling a happy sigh from jackson. 

“that was so hot,” stiles says once they pull away, almost reverently. he means it, but it also does a good job of breaking the ice a little. they all laugh, and then derek goes back to making dinner while stiles and jackson start to catch up on brooklyn nine-nine (because they used to watch it together and both refused to watch it alone once jackson moved away), and that’s that.

they’re still shit about talking about their feelings, so it’s not always perfect. they have to learn some things the hard way. 

for instance, when jackson’s in a bad mood and tells them to fuck off or leave him alone, what he really wants is for them to go after him and sandwich him between them for some top-tier cuddles until he forgets about why he was upset. (one time, they actually left him alone like he asked, and he got even pissier and stormed out of the loft and didn’t talk to either of them for days.)

another example: derek doesn’t like when stiles and jackson fool around when he isn’t there. (that one wasn’t pretty - one time, they had a quickie in the locker room after practice and when derek came to pick them up, he got one whiff and lost his mind, drove off and left them there because he was convinced that they didn’t want him anymore. he completely shut down after that, and it took days of apologies and soft kisses and assurances that it wouldn’t happen again, that they still are and always will be as into him as they are each other.)

neither of them can say ‘i love you’ still, but it doesn’t bother stiles. he knows they love him, and he says it enough for all of them. he always says “we love you,” every time, without fail, and derek will echo the sentiment with a peck on jackson’s cheek and vice versa. 

it’s really, really good. they’re happy.

ANYWAYS, hope you enjoyed my fucking thesis that you definitely didn’t ask for but got anyway. if anyone’s actually still reading this you’re the realest.

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 09

Warning: swearing (as always), BJ being horny, fire hazard.

The next day was monday, and every monday night since the girls moved together years ago was movienight. They prepared dinner together, bought a shitton of snacks, sat down on the floor in the living room and watched at least 2 movies. Most of the time they fell asleep during the third one.

So they were all in their kitchen, which had pretty peach-colored walls, a big window framed by curtains with various embroidered wildflowers on them, and olive green / beige french country-style kitchen furniture. Rei was making guacamole - which Sirius made quite a hard activity with all the jumping and whining for a piece of chips or basically anything delicious - while Sofía was talking about her business dinner from last night and Ari was sitting on the countertop, in the middle of the kitchen, eating Nutella out of a jar with a skull-shaped spoon. Minerva was laying beside her on her back, playing with a piece of breadcrust, getting occasional earscratchies.

- So I was like "No go amigo, I couldn't possibly share an exhibition with them" and my manager was like "why?" and I was like "because I'd have to be talkative and cute with them and man I couldn't" and he was like "but they are respected artists in the community" and I was like "yeah but they can't even use photoshop MICHAEL how could I work with people who are sooo past century"? - said Sofía, flipped her hair and took a sip out of her lemonade. - So yeah, he arranged the whole thing and now my coworkers for the next couple exhibitions will be not so known, but rising photographers instead of old people, isn't that awesome? - all of a sudden Minerva lifted her head up, pricked her ears and started to hiss in the entrance's direction.

Beetlejuice just arrived after his hunt for bugs in the winter garden. He was leaning against the entrance archway, and shaked his head in disappointment.

- I can't believe that you still hate me this much, you waste of fur. - the cat hissed harder. - What?!? Two can play this game, if you're not nice, I won't be either! - he pointed at Sirius, who let out one bark, then continued harassing Rei. - Look, even the dog got kinda used to me!

- I wonder what her problem is. - said Sofía while Ari pulled the kitty into her embrace.

- That's the point where you should tell them that "yeah she sees my demon buddy, yeah, we have a spectre, and I can hear him!" - said Beetlejuice in a girlish voice while he stepped closer to Ari. The girl stroked the slightly hissing Minerva, who was now laying on her lap. Ari licked her Nutella-covered spoon clean. Beetlejuice stopped in his movement and his jaw slightly dropped. He started to drool a bit. - Hooooly shit babes, it seems like you know how to turn my software into a hardware!

Ari blushed a bit and tried really hard not to giggle so she started to talk.

- ANYWAY... - that was way louder than she intended, so she cleared her throat - ...what did you do last night, Rei? - knowing exactly what happened to her poor sister (since after she got better, Beetlejuice told her everything), she was just curious if she would talk about the posession of her computer. Rei's ginger hair flew over her face as she turned to Ari and put the guacamole down to the countertop.

- Well you could say I was practicing poetry, since Robert Lewis Stevenson insisted that wine is bottled poetry, but to be honest after streaming I was just drinking and wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up... I'm sure it wasn't an anxiety ridden bitch disgusted by people with a wine problem, serving exactly those whom I disgusted by, but... - she put her hands up in the air - ...here I am! - she giggled as she turned to the fridge.

- So I suppose your "fans" were mean again? - asked Sof. Rei took some cheese out of the fridge, and scoffed while giving a piece to the very excited Sirius.

- Not mean, fuckin nasty. - she shut the fridge and rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. - I mean, some of them spammed my IG DMs with requests of "please send me the bra you wore during today's stream, I saw the strap and I'm hooked", like... Ugh.

- Can't judge a man for wanting some lingerie from a pretty girl, that's my opinion. - said Beetlejuice while he hopped on the counter next to Rei.

- Jesus fuck people are weird... - commented Ari as she got off of the middle countertop. Minerva ran away to upstairs.

- Oh so that's the socially acceptable opinion now? Okay wait... - Beetlejuice cleared his throat and continued in a sarcastic manner, heavily gesturing while doing so. - OH YES PEOPLE ARE AWFUL UGH DISGUSTING EW HOW COULD SOMEONE ASK ANYTHING LIKE THAT EWEWEW. - his voice went back to normal as he looked at Ari, who just hugged Rei. - Was it good and totally believable? - Ari smiled and gave him a thumbs up behind her sister's back. - God I'm good! On the other hand, did I tell you that when I walked into Rei's room yesterday, I almost tripped on a bra? You could say... - he floated next to Ari's ear. The girl could feel his icy breath on her earlobe. - ...it was a booby trap. - Ari shut her eyes and bit her lower lip while smiling widely. - SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING YOUR PRETTY ROUND ASS OFF, THAT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! - Ari let Rei go and went to one of the cupboards. Rei poured herself a glass of red wine.

- I don't even know why I'm getting upset by these kinds of shits anymore. I've been doing this job for years, I should be used to creeps. - she shrugged. - Eh, whatever, it felt nice to vent.

- And we're here to listen every time! - shouted Ari, head inside one of the lower cupboards, fistbumping the air. After some rummaging, she lifted her head out. - Hey guys, where did we put the ultimate bathbomb?

- What? - asked Sofía with a tilted head.

- The toaster. Obviously. - BJ slapped his knees as he started laughing.

- Gee, doll, that was good! Your humor is getting worse and worse under my influence and I'm living for it! - he scratched his head. - Wait, is that appropriate for me to say? Or should I say I'm dying for it? Since I'm dead? - he shrugged his shoulders. - I dunno both sound good.

After Sof got the machine out of one of the highest cupboards, Ari started making grilled cheese sandwiches. Beetlejuice floated right next to her and flashed a pretty evil, toothy grin. He wriggled his fingers while looking up at the ceiling lamp, which started to flicker. The girls quickly looked at each other but didn't say a thing. BJ giggled. Ari stuck the toaster's plug into the power outlet, which instantly made it sparkle. One of the sparkles fell on Ari's hand. She quickly got it away with a quiet "ouch", and looked at where Beetlejuice's very uproarious laugh came from. The angry face she made almost made the demon tear up.

- What? You thought I'd never mess with ya, doll? After seeing this face, I'll do it even more often, you angry little toddler you... - and with that, the lights flickered again.

- Am I hallucinating or did ya see that too? - asked Sofi, pointing at the lamp.

- Maybe it's just bad wiring... - said Rei, with a rather nervous chuckle. She didn't sound believable at all. - It's nothing to worry about...

- Oh so you think I'm nothing to worry about?! - said Beetlejuice with annoyement in his voice. - You underestimate me, little one. - he pointed at the chandelier in the living room and the lamp in the kitchen. They both started to shine and flicker in the same rhythm. The girls looked at each other.

- I'm pretty sure that's not bad wiring... I think... - one of the light bulbs in the living room shattered, stopping Ari for a moment. They all ducked as the light bulb in the kitchen exploded. - I THINK THIS HOUSE REALLY IS HAUNTED!!!

- THANK YOU! FINALLY! - shouted Beetlejuice, his eyes and his neon green hair glowing. - I'M FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION I DESERVE!

- IT'S NOT, GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL! - shouted Rei, while trying to help Ari get hold of the angrily barking Sirius.

- It's scientifically proven that they are... - commented Sof.

- Shut up, I'm not superstitious like you two! I mean sure, weird things are happening in the house, like my PC acting strange, or the hairdryer sucking Sofi's hair in, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation!

Beetlejuice grinned like a maniac.

- Oh baby you really want logical explanation? You think there's any logic to ME? Then watch... This! - the demon cracked his fingers and chuckled as he looked at the plugged in toaster. Ari looked at the voice's direction and gasped when she saw what Beetlejuice was doing. The toaster's heating wires were glowing red hot, and an awful stench came from the machine. The smell of burning plastic.

- OH FUCKIN HELL!!!

- Who doesn't like a bit of electrical fire? - said Beetlejuice, laughing, looking at the infurious Sof. Ari quickly jumped up and started to go through the drawers quickly. Sof was quicker, she handed her the oven mittens, which Ari put her hands into and lifted the now flaming toaster.

- Okay... Now what? - Rei jumped up in panic too.

- What what?!?

- Where do I put it?!

- ARIADNÉ, YOU JUST LIFTED THIS FLAMING SHIT UP WITHOUT A PLAN?!?!?!?!

- I'M NOT A VERY BRIGHT WOMAN, OKAY?!?!?!? - Rei opened up the window and pulled the curtains back.

- THROW IT OUT!!! - Ari quickly threw the machine out of the window, into the birdbath that was under it. The flames started to fade and the girls let out a huge, relieved breath.

- Welp... I may sound like a hypocrite but... After this I think we're haunted. - Sofía and Ari both looked at Rei.

- You said, literally a minute ago, and I quote, that you are not superstitious like us two. - Rei threw her hands up in the air.

- I'm not superstitious! But I'm a... Umm a little bit stitious.

- Do you seriously think this is a right time for Office quotes? - asked Sof, with folded hands and an eyeroll.

- Hey this is how I cope! Toasters don't start spitting flames normally, man! That shit scared the living Hell out of me!

Ari bit her lower lip. A faint idea crossed her mind.

- Ummm... I think we should ask our presence what do they want. - the girls and Beetlejuice both looked at Ari with lifted eyebrows. - Sof, don't you have an Ouija board? We could ask them stuff and maybe help them out. So they won't cause trouble like this again. - Beetlejuice covered his smiling mouth with his hands.

- OHMYGOD BABES THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I never tried playing with those things but...

- Okay let's do it. - stated Rei decidedly. - Sofía! Get your Ouija board. We're adjourning movienight. Let's ask this bitch what the everliving fuck is their problem!

[elizabethrobertajones]

I remember once reading a post about how destiel pov is usually only on one character while the other looks disinterested and this is kind of the feeling I'm getting from s13 too Dean is all about Cas and mourning Cas and TFW and Cas is all "k. Bye". :/ im getting kinda uncomfortable since 12x19 with Dean crawling after Cas begging him to to choose them and Cas continuing to not do that (part of why I hoped Cas was brainwashed and not intentionally leaving Dean)

I hope that wasn’t my post because it was a little more complex than “one feels one way and the other looks disinterested”

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/165634856748/elizabethrobertajones-bluestar86

I wrote this about how there’s a narrative POV about whose emotional arc is carrying Destiel. That doesn’t have to mean whoever has it is basically just shown to be unrequitedly pining. For example in season 4 you can comment a lot on how Cas seems to be falling for Dean before, you know, literally falling for him, but the POV of the season is entirely on Dean and the only Cas POV we get is stuff where he’s hanging out talking to other angels doing angel business and his personal arc stuff. There might be some incredible Destiel scenes like when he rebels in 4x22 but Dean’s the POV in the scenes even if Cas is the one reacting and doing stuff which is powering things along. Or 6x20 is entirely from Cas’s POV but we see Dean contribute plenty of angst to the drama and we still know how he feels, it’s not hard to guess when it’s written all over his face and how he struggles with what he’s discovering when we’ve been with him all season already, but every scene is given to us from Cas’s perspective because he’s narrating it.

I mean obviously there are times when one of them is emotionally unavailable such as the rest of season 6 being from Dean’s POV, or season 9 - 10 where Dean has the Mark and so the emotional arc is all on Cas’s shoulders… Again not because the other is completely void of feelings on the other side during these times, but because there’s a narrative device keeping them from expressing them or acting on them or whatever.

I’m pretty confused by the apparent reading a bunch of people have that Cas isn’t giving back feelings to Dean at the moment, which seems to have sprung out of lingering uncertainty about Cas’s state of being (which I just can’t see at the moment with any indications from the show that Cas is not himself in a fundamental way) or perhaps disappointment since the sneak peek for 13x06 that the reunion was understated. 

I feel like I just watched one of the most ridiculous stretches of non-stop Destiel nonsense the show has ever delivered, starting 12x19 and relying on both characters to tell it. 

Obviously we have Dean missing Cas in the build up to it, and Cas leaves as he does in the end of 12x19, and Dean continues angsting about it on the phone to Mary before shit hits the fan… Cas has the emotional POV in 12x19 but it relies on the theme of clarifying who you’re talking about and different levels of personal investment, which is only clarified in a bad way for Dean asking not to be included in Sam’s cheerful greeting of Cas, but then through the episode shows Cas and Dean still have a bigger personal investment in each other even when Cas only ever speaks about “sam and dean” as a unit. I don’t think that’s narrative POV on the Destiel arc because Dean’s still doing the heavy lifting, making it a weird episode where Cas has the POV but Dean has the Destiel POV, perhaps because of their epic misunderstandings about feelings which are a major major theme between them. But for all the generic concern thrown around, this episode had the mixtape exchange among all the other stuff between Cas and Dean when they were in the same room which made it clear they specifically focussed on each other. 

And obviously while 12x23 was from Sam and Dean’s POV (even stuff like Cas going into the AU world was cut off so that we could react with Sam and Dean to AU Bobby, not with Cas), and there was very little interaction, Cas still did that bizarre thing where all the living Winchesters piled into his house and he said “Dean,” followed by, again singling Dean out in his attention and healing him, which had also happened in the end of 12x19. Even if Cas is not the POV there’s things thrown in to show that in amongst everything else and Cas losing control of the narrative after he was Jacked, he still blatantly cares about Dean and that he and Dean single each other out.

I suppose the Dean POV on how he feels about Cas has been utterly utterly in your face this season so far which might be another reason why it seems like Cas is giving less back. I do think, though, that it has not ALL been on Dean. In 13x03 Jack wakes up Cas after Dean manages to clarify some feelings about Cas at least in relation to how Sam is feeling. It darkly mirrors 12x19 where Dean clarified that he was mad at Cas when he came in the door, but this time positively for his FEELINGS about Cas, even if he’s now screaming in Sam’s face about it. The clarification that he cares that much about Cas is something that has been hovering unsaid for a long time despite their entire history of being singled out for each other, it’s become more blatant as the family has become more integrated, and pretty much since season 9 when Dean had to ask Cas to leave the Bunker, the weight has been on his say on whether Cas is part of the family or not. Thematically, obviously. In the wider narrative. Sam does a lot to make Cas feel at home, in 8x22 and the start of season 11 just off the top of my head as moments when Sam and Cas & the Bunker as home were a thing, but it’s Dean who has the big dramatic say. The main emotional arc impact. It pretty much goes without saying that Sam will welcome Cas and make home comfy in the Bunker. There’s no issue there at all :P 

Anyway, Jack is overhearing Sam getting yelled at for not appreciating just how painful it is to look at him and only see Cas dying, and this creates the void of Cas in their lives in Jack’s heart powerful enough to nudge Cas in the Empty. I see it as Dean putting out this fact into the world for the first time, and that demanding an ANSWER. Cas waking up is a response to Dean making it clear how hurt he has been by Cas’s death. The theme of clarification, using your words, etc, has meant Dean has finally let words out that would have been awfully useful for Cas to know in life, and lo and behold he is awake. It’s a narrative question and answer to me. Dean feels this way about Cas - Cas is in the least possible state to ever find out, but now the story has changed, is this enough for Cas? And the answer is, yes, he wakes up now.

In the Empty Cas is challenged by the sleepy void about why he is awake, and it attempts to beat him and then his feelings into submission so that he will give up and go back to sleep. Dean off on the other side of the story is literally linked to Cas when he asks what linked all the victims - the answer is, their grief, and cut to Cas. Or when he says what is burned stays dead - and the answer is, no, look how Cas is doing over here, up and awake and wandering around and fighting to come back. Dean says he has no hope, and the obvious answer is, well you might not now but look who just woke up back on earth. I think it’s important to remember that narrative structure of Dean “interacting” with Cas in the Empty when talking about it because Dean is intrinsically linked to Cas over and over in 13x03 and 13x04 by his statements and the subsequent dramatic irony or narrative, like… eyebrow wiggling… they’re doing. (I’ll be honest, I have a headache so I can’t remember all my literature degree stuff :P) Because I think Jack just brought Cas back because of his OWN issues missing Cas and obviously what Kelly said about him being an angel to watch over him which he felt he was sorely lacking. But the way in which it all happens is tuned directly to Dean’s feelings.

And then we get, in the Empty, Cas’s little feelings. The Empty telling him he doesn’t want to go back, not in a dismissive way but in a I know how you feel and I know you don’t want to way. These scenes HAVE to be Cas’s emotional POV and if he won’t say it, the Empty will for him. It doesn’t matter if he’s not EXPRESSING these things for himself, the important thing is the scene is ABOUT Cas and it’s giving us an explanation of his emotions. That “Sam and Dean need me” is being put out there as Cas’s reason to go back despite the fact he doesn’t want to, that he’d shackle himself back to the same burden that got him killed, that in 12x19 we could see was destroying their relationship even BEFORE it got him killed. We’re getting a direct exploration of the things which last season kept Cas at an awful range of miscommunication to Dean. The stuff he never said to him or explained to Dean so badly Dean didn’t even get why he was saying it when it seemed too obvious to him that they all need to be together as a family and obviously Cas is family and obviously they should do everything side by side.

And so the Empty crouches down by Cas and says, “I know what you hate. I know who you love. I know what you fear,” with intonation that shows these concepts flow from the stuff they’ve already covered - Sam and Dean need me, nope that’s not it, I know this situation as it is inside your head and I am not scared to tell you what you’re thinking. That you hate being treated like this. You hate treating YOURSELF like this. I know who you love (and, incidentally, I’d know that you said already that you love all the Winchesters, because hi I’ve been inside your head so there’s nothing I don’t know). I know that there’s some secret that makes me drop my voice to a conspiratorial whisper to tell you that I know who you love, even though it’s just you and me awake in this whole wide Empty void of Nothing. Because to you it’s something deeper, something quieter, something less-spoken than anything you’ve voiced so far…

(Sidenote though - obviously it’s been voiced IN the narrative already and gets us no further than 4 years ago and “he’s in love…. with humanity!” etc because that entire build up was ENORMOUS and built up to the pay off… of what we got in 10x01-3, which obviously did not make Destiel canon or Cas’s feelings any clearer than a wistful comment about finding love on earth and wanting to stay, and then Cas left anyway and people were upset that Cas had left right when Dean seemed to be remotely operating his own feelings again and briefly had a moment of clarity to ask Cas to stay apparently in his room on his bed so look at how that has all carried on since season 10 and remember that I’m just analysing, not predicting, but also I have fandom deja vu about Cas’s feelings re: being so obvious they can be seen from space while he pines naked in bed for Dean, and then a big old kick back where everyone was furious he left with Hannah and Destiel is dead and Cas doesn’t love Dean any more >.>) 

- and then the Empty says that he knows what Cas FEARS, why Cas keeps leaving, backing off, running away, taking on missions, doing things to protect Sam and Dean from afar because he can’t be with them, has to return Dean’s mixtape and go nobly fall on a sword. Because he’s SCARED about his feelings. Because he can’t be sure Dean WANTS him, only that Sam and Dean need him. He’s been literally given the Winchester Family Invitation on embossed paper with gold leaf, been through a couple of rounds of sacrificing for them - plural, Mary included - and them standing up for him and willing to die to protect him. He should not fear rejection from the family. He shouldn’t fear that his own feelings for them are not returned in full if it is about being a part of the family. At the end of season 11 Dean offered him being the 3rd Winchester brother (sorry Adam) on a plate as well, and Cas still looked unhappy and uncertain. 

This all ties into ALL of Cas’s arc for years and years, ever since 7x17, when he re-started his continuous time on the show with a brief Destiel recap and his struggles have all been continuous and with good continuity. His guilt about killing all the angels and damaging Heaven (made worse/freshly relevant with the angel fall spell but was caused by his angst about Godstiel, that he brings up in 8x08), his sense of belonging or not which really starts getting hammered home after he becomes human and loses his wings, so he’s more dependant on a home, and also after he’s been more and more often exiled or treated like shit by Heaven to make it clearer that if he is ever going to have a good sense of home again, the one on Earth is the kinder option, even for all the trouble he goes through for Sam and Dean. 

And his feelings for Dean, which are NOT a random subtext thing but seriously power much of his drama. 8x17 starting with him having to kill a thousand Deans. Or how he and Dean are linked by going through Purgatory together and the emotional revelations that came out there - that Dean wouldn’t leave without Cas but Cas didn’t think he deserved it, which ties up all his “general” arcs into the romantic one. That he deserves to be in Purgatory for what he did to Heaven, but that it will hurt Dean to do it. That he’s been self-punishing for Dean’s sake to keep him safe so that he can escape. Cas sacrifices for Dean again and again and in the end walks him to the portal and shoves him through it without attempting to follow because of how he feels; the romantic arc is intrinsic to his actions. 

Season 9 builds up Cas trying to restore Heaven and take down Metatron, but Metatron sows discord among Cas’s followers for Cas’s loyalty to Dean. They test it. He loses his followers. Metatron mocks and delights in Cas’s choices and his weakness for Dean. He tells Cas that his weakness WAS Dean in 9x23, without the “love” comment. And that Dean is dead. Cas fights back anyway, even against hope of losing Dean. 

In season 10, Cas’s arc is loosely that he’s adrift but will help those who need him - Hannah, Claire and of course Dean. Or Sam finding Dean. He pines and hangs on and gets compared to post-break up Crowley and in the main story his role is simply to be devoted to Dean, to want to save him, to be part of the family that would sacrifice and die for Dean. And an important link in the loose prophecy Cain gives Dean about his nearest and dearest of Crowley, Cas and Sam - each one a magnitude worse than the previous to hurt. 10x22 has Cas make that speech about how he’d be there with Dean at his side in horror as Dean murdered the world but he couldn’t kill him, he can only ask him to stop. Dean attacks and rejects him and for his troubles Cas gets turned into a mindless attack dog, a symbol of how he had been feeling all along, just doing these things for the Winchesters without being certain of his place in the family or his feelings being returned. In season 11 these last 2 points are the first of the PTSD flashbacks he gets about his recent treatment as he falls into deep depression and worthlessness, and the fact of his place in the family is a part of it - not that it can be cured by Dean finally telling him what he wants to hear, and for him to be all better as soon as he knows he’s loved. But it’s one of the factors causing it, and one of the reasons Cas got sucked along with the season 10 bad decisions and one of the reasons Cas has been isolating himself, and now begins the pattern of sacrificing himself too, in 11x10 where he says yes to Lucifer after being assured by everyone he meets that day that he’s just a useless tool. Except Dean, of course, but misunderstandings abound so there’s our read of Dean’s intention and our read of how Cas might have taken their parting. In any case, Cas manages to sacrifice twice in a row for the same possession in 11x14 too, now specifically for Dean. From there, the possession arc becomes laughably about Destiel in 11x18 and 11x21, and Dean’s focus on it in the in between episodes. 

And in season 12, of course, now we get the repeated theme of Cas leaving because he doesn’t feel he belongs, and his sense of not belonging and duty power together his search for Lucifer, which turns into the search for Kelly which turns into what happens with Jack in 12x19, but all that of course is because he’s been the one feeling responsible for the Lucifer arc, and whichever point you pick to start that from it goes back to 11x10 and his decision there, made for the same reasons he does everything in season 12, but with more loops of talking about family and where he belongs and Dean trying to reach across the gap but not finding the right words. The fact that after 12x12 Cas still feels he has to be the Winchesters’ guardian shows that they have not been able to reach the part of him which will be able to comfortably call them home no matter how much they feel he belongs there. 

For years and years and years this has been what Cas fears. When the Empty tells him he’s surrounded by all the thousands of dead angels, Cas looks around in utter horror, knowing that he’s responsible for them. Check one on his fears, openly expressed. The Empty mocks his attempt to say that Sam and Dean need him, as a bad reason to return, a hollow reason, and Cas’s fear is that they ONLY need him for what he can do, that they’d find a way to wake him up and get him back JUST because they NEEDED him for something. That he would claw his way back to life just to be used for some reason or another that is troubling them and that they can’t solve without calling in Cas to fix it and protect them. And then. His hates, loves and fears. Cas’s love for Dean in the most terrifying thing he has. He’s destroyed so much because of it. Rebelled because of it. Lost his faith because of it. Been dragged through things far worse than Hell and back because of it. And Dean won’t clarify his feelings for Cas, won’t speak in plain English and explain what he means, what Cas means. 

And in 13x03 he clarifies to Sam that Cas in particular is why he is in so much turmoil, and Cas wakes up. And faces the Empty mocking his feelings and pointing out his fears. That there is “nothing for you back there” despite all the gestures of home and family that have ever been offered to him. (And this sounds so much like the line in The Two Towers where Elrond is telling Arwen there’s nothing for her here, trying to convince her to LEAVE Middle Earth rather than be with Aragorn and die as a mortal.)

But Cas takes this and all the reminders of his failures and the horrific things that have happened to him, and he stands up and confronts the Empty, which is essentially the bad voice in his head, the depression, and all his fears and doubts, and tells it to stuff it and send him back. He realises whatever happened to him, the reason he’s awake has already given him the chance to reject the Empty trying to make him give up and go to sleep, and that he has been given another chance to fight. Not to reject everything the Empty says and have hope, but to fight and fight and fight. And be given another chance.

And that the confrontation involved a reminder that Cas has this secret love, that it covered all the reasons Cas has been brought down to this lowest point, is mirrored in the much *less* Destiel scene in 13x05 where Billie and Dean talk and Dean only mentions in passing that he couldn’t save Cas as part of the reason he’s given up, although of course the weight of everything else around it that built it all up and explained why (and his clarification that woke Cas up in 13x03) obviously makes it mean more than it might sound on the surface. But Cas’s confrontation with the Empty contains *all* of that that I just rambled about because it’s a Castiel, this is your life, moment, and the power of it is picking all the right words to express *everything* Cas has been through and why, and that includes his entire romance with Dean, and, sadly, what it has done to him to pine and feel unrequited all this time. In 10x01 when he’s lying in bed missing Dean, we have an emotionally similar scene but to much less dramatic effect, much less clarity, and distilling down the reasons. It’s mired in a lot of random context, and it is only really symbolically what this scene was pretty much directly. 

In the end of 13x05 Cas calls Dean and it’s silent but we know what it means to Dean. We have silence on Cas’s side of things - obviously the ball is in Dean’s court there on the emotional POV - but when we get Cas back, in 13x06, he is in *no way* “k, bye” 

I think the scenes have been fairly balanced in POV, with Cas explaining what happened to him from his perspective when he gets back when talking about the Empty and his line about annoying the Empty is nonsense to out of context ears but means a lot to us and Cas. The hugs being used to contrast Sam and Dean’s reactions, with Sam not knowing what to do but Dean saying “i do” and swooping in on Cas.

Remember, we have been inside Cas’s head, we’ve seen all his little feelings. We know what has brought him back, and why, and to what dramatic narrative purpose this serves - Dean’s grief about Cas being a 5 episode arc which ended up going right into a lowest point of Dean’s much longer personal arcs about loving Cas and how he feels about the job and family, and Cas’s much much longer ongoing personal arc, currently now starting a new chapter after reaching the lowest point in a story about once again passing through an afterlife to rebirth. But he accepted he would still have these issues, that he was only coming back to fight, that he wasn’t coming back because “Sam and Dean need me”… 

And for most of this reintroduction scene he doesn’t know that they didn’t do something to bring him back. Sam and Dean are stunned and Cas talks matter of fact about how they got back. Cas doesn’t know they’re reacting in complete and utter mystification. He doesn’t know how long he was gone, just that Dean thinks it’s too long. He has this conversation about where he was and what the Empty is like while clearly baffled about their intent and why Sam is asking these questions, until he says “I thought you had done something” and looks at Dean with realisation that they had genuinely thought he was dead and gone and not coming back and they had no clue - this is the first time he can look at them without wondering what they did, if there’s a price on their heads for doing it to him, etc. He no longer has to be concerned about them.

But it’s not just that. It’s that now he knows “Sam and Dean need me” is NOT the reason he was brought back. He called them up probably expecting to be thrown into their next big drama, something they’re overwhelmed with that only Cas can help them with, that he wasn’t just calling them because he’s getting back in touch with his family but that he’s going back into the battle. For them. To protect them or do something for them that they can’t do.

And instead he learns that Jack did it to him, and Sam and Dean aren’t responsible, and all they did was come to collect him and take him *home*. And the big drama he gets thrown into? Jack has found them a case in Dodge City and Dean is *delighted* to go play cowboys with Cas. Cas, freshly back from the dead, suddenly has Jack - a whole new set of issues, maybe, but at least the two of them on a personal level have a positive emotional connection that they both care about each other, though the levels of Jack needing a new guardian angel strike me as bad in the bigger picture, it’s good for Cas to have more people who care about him, and for Dean to proudly label their new family and for this sense of belonging to be automatically placed on them. 

I mean Cas’s head is probably spinning, given the issues he confronted, and then going back AGAINST ALL HOPE. That there was nothing for him back on Earth, just this struggle where he was going to go back to the Winchesters for whatever they needed him for, because he loves them, because he loves Dean, but deep down he has fears and secrets that have been messing with how he interacts with them. Have been screwing up everything for him, over and over. 

And then he gets dragged on a case where Dean’s a great fluffy ball of sunshine even when he’s an angry sleeper, somehow, and all he asks of Cas is to make some coffee, and wait for him to be alert enough to hang out with him, at which point he continues being utterly gleeful and playful, and Cas is beginning to relax, to wear the cowboy hat, to quote the movie at Dean, to feel comfortable at his side, playing along being a cowboy, saying all the ridiculous lines like howdy partner etc as they walk onto the crime scene. Cas has FUN with Dean. FUN. CASTIEL, ANGEL OF THE LORD, HAD FUN. He was acting PLAYFUL. 

And even when he’s being asked what his fake agent name is, he panics because this is all seeming a bit dangerous to keep playing around, he looks to Dean, Dean nods like it will all be fine and Cas says he’s Val Kilmer, and it works. Being playful never hurt anyone. Dean is DELIGHTED. Cas passes the test. This is all GREAT. Look at how few enormous burdens are on them! Sure things suck out in the wider scheme of the world, but nothing is currently actively trying to destroy it… 

This episode didn’t really have a directed POV on all the Destiel stuff because it was just the two of them existing in the same space. Most of the specific pointless (I say, to the main plot anyway) character beats were stuff between Cas and Dean. The hats. The coffee. The music. Even Jack asking Cas about how much Dean likes cowboys. Things that don’t really advance the story but we get silly things like Dean throwing Cas the gnawed hipbone or whatever. No one else is interacting like Dean and Cas interact. Sam and Jack have some interesting stuff going on, but they aren’t commanding a room when they’re in it. 

Like… I don’t *just* ship Destiel because they have interaction I like. I ship it because when they’re in a room, the writing itself supports that the two of them become the most important thing in it to each other. Dean lurks in the background of the Cas and Jack hug, while Sam disappears. Dean stands by Cas in the confrontation with Jack at the end of the episode - they’re on the same side. They’re together. There’s a *link* between them.

I really feel like people seeing Cas as dismissive and strange this episode instead of immediately picking up on Dean’s Cowboy Thing as a callback to 6x18 (whether he can hear the music or not, but personal interpretation, yes), and the query by Jack, the car conversation about them watching Tombstone together, is more reminders, more links between Cas *specifically* and Dean’s interest in cowboys. Cas’s face and his teasing is the same mood as “is it customary to wear a blanket” or telling Dean he looks like a lumberjack. Cas does not tease people very often. And it’s pretty much been Crowley a couple of times dismissively and Dean 3 times lovingly. And about his clothes. And 2/3rds of the time about cowboys. It’s a Thing.

I am just full of stunned love this episode for the way Dean and Cas act around each other, the comfort, the teasing, the absolute knowledge of each other. The things they share off screen and on screen. Cas always expresses less than Dean does, but this episode Cas willingly impersonated a cowboy for an entire 10 seconds while in Dean’s presence, quoted a movie at him, and sucked it up and used his ridiculous alias Dean told him to, while wearing the hat Dean made him wear. Cas loves Dean like the sun comes up in the morning. Maybe someone will be upset Dean messes with Cas and makes him do all this stuff, but this is Castiel Fucking Winchester who scowled down the Empty. I think he could stand up for himself about a straw hat :P

Anyway… tl;dr if that was my post you were thinking about, PLEASE do not interpret it as saying one of them always has to be pining. Sometimes they are just in love. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be a narrative reason for it, and we just kinda enjoy the nonsense while another story - Jack’s story - is building up elsewhere. Dean and Cas’s interaction is a character-based subplot on its own, and it’s delightful right now. They can have issues again later, but between Sam saying “Jack” in the opening and the horrible end to the shoot out, Dean n Cas weren’t really doing anything other than enjoying each other’s company. And all the stuff that might have made it bad got swept away with the reveal Jack resurrected Cas, not Dean. Cas is temporarily (permanently hopefully) off the hook for being the angel that watches over them.

I mean it’s so not over, we’re 6 episodes in and all their pre-existing angst is just waiting to kick off again and never entirely *gone*, but this episode was weirdly peaceful for Dean and Cas. And they needed it. And I just do not understand at ALL people reading Cas as being dismissive and distant when he played cowboys with Dean.

[wingletblackbird]

you know... this seems an awful lot like a constant battle you're fighting uphill. I don't have people with diabetes in my environment, and I cannot imagine how difficult it can be every single day... damn. So.. I absolutely respect what you do every day. I'm speechless. I read these pro-con posts and your experiences, and I'm more and more frustrated that there isn't more media coverage, or more awareness raised about these symptoms, and how to help the diabetic community. It's eye-opening

It is a constant battle for sure. You have to deal with it 24/7, and there’s no respite, or vacation. Even if you have your diabetes pretty much in control, you can never stop and take a break, or it’ll get out of control again. My diabetes is pretty much under control at the moment, and to put that into perspective that means I am low 2-3 times a week, and slightly high maybe 1-3 times a week. That’s the best it’s been in a few weeks. That sense of being in control will last about 2 weeks, I dare say, (if I’m lucky), before something will happen to throw it off. Then, it’ll take a couple days to find the right patterns again, if not longer, and it could be anything that caused the fluctuations: An infection, a virus you killed quickly before you really felt it, but still made your sugar levels funny; you could be stressed which raises your blood sugar; you could be tired which raises your blood sugar; you could have walked for ten minutes too long, and that lowered your  blood sugar. etc. It’s something you have to constantly watch to make sure you catch everything, and everything you do is relevant to keeping it in line. Even then, sometimes there’s no explanation at all. Then, if you do it all reasonably well, you can hope to have decades before the serious complications set in: (Kidney failure, blindness, nerve damage, etc.) 

So, yes, it is difficult, and it is scary. Having said that, you do get used to it. I don’t think about complications, and how taxing it is on a daily basis; I would be downright depressed if I did. I’ve just learned to live with it. The fears are always there, but they’re just something you get so used to it doesn’t really register. You can get used to anything, as they say. However, there do come those bad days when you don’t know why your body is rebelling, and you panic, and feel miserable, because nothing’s going right, and you realise again just how close you are to dying painfully if you’re not careful. Unsurprisingly, there is a high correlation of depression, suicide, and anxiety attacks amongst diabetics. It can be quite stressful.

This is why I get frustrated by the lack of media coverage that you pointed out. It is an issue. Just seeing someone in the media, in a movie, on TV, a character who has diabetes that is represented well mind you, can be a big source of inspiration. It’s someone we can relate to. Someone to make us feel less alone, and someone who can inspire us to keep going. Fiction influences life, and vice versa. Having a diabetic character would help those who have diabetes keep their courage,  and would help those who don’t understand what it’s like know how to help. Moreover, it could help them the day they get their diagnosis, and some of them will. It won’t be such an “out there” concept. They’ll have some idea of what to expect. It could probably also prevent needless deaths that come from people who don’t recognise the symptoms. To some, DKA looks like the flu!

This is doubly important because diabetes is becoming an epidemic. More and more people are becoming diabetic everyday, T2D being especially common. People need to be aware of the symptoms. People need to know what to do. People need to know the difference between T1D, and T2D. The former is not preventable, but the latter can be. T2D is linked to obesity, and weight loss can help prevent it. However, in many cases it is also just plain genetic; you can get it without being overweight. Sometimes, it’s as unpreventable as T1D, but either way being careful about your diet, and your exercise may buy you decades of time before you get it. People need to understand all of this. Diabetes is the 7th most common cause of death in the USA, and the 6th most common in in Canada. Nor is it a condition limited to North America, it is a global phenomenon with million and millions of victims. In spite of this, most people don’t know that T1D isn’t preventable, that there is a difference between T1D and T2D, that there are even two different types of diabetes,in other words, the basics.There are something like 7.2 million undiagnosed T2Ds in the USA alone who probably don’t even know what their symptoms can lead to until it’s far to late, and there are many more pre-diabetics who don’t understand that they’re at risk. It’s imperative that people understand what they can and cannot do to help others and themselves. It’s imperative that people know the warning signs.  I’m so glad you find this eye-opening, because that is exactly what I was hoping for. Too many people die every year, because of ignorance. We seriously need more coverage of this issue. Diabetes causes more deaths than breast cancer and AIDS combined.

I’m not entirely certain why there isn’t more media coverage about diabetes, but I have two guesses. The first is that until the discovery of insulin in the ‘20s, diabetes was a terminal illness. When insulin was finally made available, it was like this miracle drugs, and everyone thought it made everything better, and didn’t stop to consider how hard diabetes as a chronic illness might be. The truth is, insulin doesn’t make you better; it isn’t a cure-all. It just enables you to survive another day. However, this idea that now you’ve got insulin you’re fine, just don’t eat sugar has prevailed, and has never really left. Secondly, the rise of T2D diabetes has been correlated to the Western diet with emphasis on the fast and processed foods in particular, and I doubt the all-mighty corporations want that kind of publicity, so it stays more silent then it should. It’s just a theory, but that’s what I believe. Either way, or whatever the reason is, it’s a major issue, and I’m so glad to hear that my posts have been doing at least their small, tiny part to fill that gap, and thanks, as always, for the support. 😊.