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chelseypprimrose · 11 months

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Farmer Wants a Mistress / farmer!negan x richbrat!reader / 18+ / AU

Summary: Living the good life since you married into money, you’ve become desensitised to the more simple ‘live off the land’ lifestyle of your sister. Her husband Negan sets out to teach a harsh lesson for you not to be so judgemental.

Warnings: infidelity, brat!reader, smut, rough sex elements, use of “hayseed hick” which are derogatory terms for a farmer, degrading terms, outside/forest sex, spitting, choking, negan is a warning in its self, mean!negan, slapping, dumbification (slightly), oral (male receiving), slight hint of dacryphilia

A/N: i need sedating, this GIF, oh my good LORD. fyi, i do not condone anyone looking down on another person for their profession/how much they work or earn, this is purely fiction and the needed attitude for the brat character/reader! also i’m telling you now, reader is a BRAT, like ‘Wild Child’ Poppy Moore level of brat, if that isn’t your thing, this probably isn’t the fic for you! 🤍

“god, i don’t know why i even let you drag me here, we are in the middle of nowhere.” you huffed, using the inflight magazine you’d taken from the flight to fan yourself off, unaccustomed to the sweltering heat of texas this time of year. your sister’s grip of the steering wheel got tighter, trying to hold her tongue at your obvious annoyance.

“i’m so sorry it’s such a inconvenience for you to visit your only sister, which by the way, you only do once a year.” she sniped back, rolling her eyes. adjusting your sunglasses on your nose, you stared out at the crop farmlands as you drove past, a vast difference to the city skyscrapers you were used to back home. “look, i’m just not the biggest fan of farms, or farm animals. they smell and it’s just too much work! why you ever let yourself marry into this, i’ll never understand.” you quipped back, throwing the magazine down into your lap as it wasn’t doing anything to help your rising body temperature.

like she had said, you only ever made the journey from new york to texas once a year to visit your sisters side of the family, granted it was only the two of them. her and her farmer husband, Negan, born into a farmer family himself, he’d taken over the land once his parents had moved on, settling for a smaller place, unable to keep working due to age. him and your sister had married a year after you and your own husband had, the two men couldn’t have been more different if they tried.

your own husband was a banker, giving you a penthouse apartment, what seemed like a unlimited supply of money and multiple trips away every year to the most luxurious resorts and locations. growing up poor and then overnight having more money than you knew what to do with had changed you, you wouldn’t deny that.

you couldn’t remember the last time you had bought anything that wasn’t designer, having your hair done monthly and various spa weekends, keeping yourself in tip top condition. you and her led very separate and different lives, you couldn’t help but feel like she’d got the short end of the deal, slaving away on a godawful ranch seven days a week.

she finally pulled up to the front of the farm, the slightly open window forcing you to smell the various animals that were loitering around outside of the barn next to the rustic-styled house. the exposed white wood of the front porch, multi-coloured chicken wind chime made of bamboo hung off the plinth of the patio, making small clinking noises from the slight wind that gathered up the dust of the grain. all these elements together started to remind you that you were far from your own home comforts of proper electricity and pleasant smells.

you opened your door, being careful not to step in the mud that was right under your feet, your stiletto heel digging into the soft ground. walking around to the back of the car, you opened the trunk, taking out your louis vuitton suitcase, stopping in your tracks when you realised you didn’t want to put it on the muddy ground. “have you got something you can take these in on?” you questioned, your sister looking at you in disbelief.

“jesus christ doll, it’s goddamn mud! it’ll wash off, don’t get your panties in a twist.” you whipped your head around to the bellowing deep voice, eyes setting on him as he made his way over to the car. you moved one of your hands off the handle of the suitcase to your hip to jaunt it out at him. “oh i’m sorry! let me just put my bag, that’s probably worth more than your house, on the dirty ground. i take pride in my possessions Negan.” you retorted, your sister sighing in defeat, taking the bag from your hand and walking with it towards the house. you took your sunglasses off your face, Negan now stood right next to you, his arm leaning on the side of the car, looking at you. dressed in his usual brown cowboy hat, opened mustard yellow flannel shirt with a slightly off white tank top underneath, cargo trousers with a thick black belt to keep them up. the long, black leather pendant sitting just above his naval.

“i always love when the city mouse comes to visit, you ready for a week in hell, princess?” he laughed, rolling around a toothpick between his pearly white teeth. not that you had anything against the man before he married your sister but he absolutely revelled in mocking you whenever you came to stay, you imagined he saw you nothing more than a spoiled little girl, not understanding that you just preferred the finer things, even if you were a bit of a snob when it came to his way of life. not that you really cared for his opinion on you. you’d imagine that if circumstances had been different, you would have been attracted to such a handsome man, if only he’d change that usual cowboy get up for a nice three piece suit.

“if it isn’t the hayseed hick himself, how are you darling?” you threw your insults right back at him, this was just how you communicated with each other, both of you had tongues as sharp as swords. you grabbed your other bag from inside the trunk of the car, moving to take it to the house before his large hand grasped over yours that was on the leather handle. “let me take it, wouldn’t want you to break a nail, princess.” Negan laughed, before using his other hand to close the trunk firmly, causing you to jump slightly out of its way. you followed closely behind him, Negan taking wide strides, his hips moving slightly as his forearm muscles tensed from the weight of your bag in his hand.

“did you pack for the month or something? jesus christ.” he managed to huff out, even with how strong he was, it felt like you’d put rocks in your bag. “not all of us can just take a toothbrush and clean boxers on holiday with us, Negan. not that you’d know much about that, furthest you ever go is the farmers market, is it not?” you bit back, using your hands to push your hair back out of your face, having to put your sunglasses back over your eyes to avoid the harsh dust from getting into your retinas. you pushed past him, walking up the steps to enter the house, a small grimace on your face as you remembered how much your sisters place looked like Dorothy’s house from the Wizard of Oz.

it was honestly like you’d gone through a time machine back to the 1900’s, your sister didn’t even have a TV in the place, no wi-fi or good working signal. Negan followed up behind you, almost denting your case with how harshly he’d placed it near the staircase. “jeez, be careful with that would you!” you exclaimed, picking it back up off the ground, starting to make your way up the stairs, heels making it a difficult feat. Negan started to laugh at you struggling, causing you to turn around to give him a death glare. “i’m glad this is funny to you, most men would be gentlemanly and help a lady with her bags.”

“i would doll, but i don’t see a lady here.” he continued laughing at you, your mouth dropped wide at his rude statement, slightly growling you stomped the rest of the way up the stairs to your assigned room you always stayed in when you came here. god, you couldn’t wait for this week to be over but it was only the start.

“god honey, i know you don’t like the way they do things but this is your sister! she’s family, you have to respect their lifestyle. you are a guest in their house.” you rolled your eyes, your husband clearly wasn’t getting how annoyed and stressed out you were. “i’m honestly trying! you come here and get woken up by a damn cockerel at five am in the morning and see if your still saying the same thing then!” you crossed your arms over your chest with your phone held up to your ear, angrily pacing back and forth on the porch, the only place you could get one bar of signal. it was no use telling your husband the grievances as he’d only been here once and he always seemed to forget how hellish that week had been for him, how he sighed a breath of relief once you got on the plane home.

“you’ve only got a couple more days until you’ll be back here with me, i’ll set you up a appointment with the spa, give you some time to relax, okay?” you smiled, almost jumping with glee. “oh thank you! god knows i’ll need it after being around all these horrid animals.”

“goddamn it!” you turned your head towards a very angry Negan, the hosepipe he’d been using had sprayed all over the front of his clothes, causing the wet fabric to stick against his abdomen. he grabbed the bottom, whipping it over his head, using his strong hands to wring the water from the top. the veins in his arm were in full motion, you could see his muscles flexing, his toned abdomen now on display. the light of the sun caught his frame just right, the hot temperature making the light sheen of sweat mix with the water he’d just got all over his torso. you couldn’t take your eyes off his body, like a mirage in the desert. you’d never found yourself looking at him this way, his dirty mouth turning you off him from the very second he opened it but silent like this, he was a vision.

he could feel a pair of eyes on him, his gaze shooting up to look towards you. “honey? honey? are you still there?” you snapped back into reality, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in your throat. you turned your back to Negan with a quickness, heat reaching your cheeks as you realised you’d been caught gazing at him. “yeah, i’m here.” you answered your husband.

Negan softly chuckled to himself, already coming up with a rolodex of new material to tease you with.

two days, two days was all you had left to endure before you could take your leave and go back to new york. while you’d like to say you’d had a pleasant experience, that would be far from the truth. your sister had convinced you to do some grunt work while you’d been here and out of sheer boredom due to the lack of entertainment here, you’d begrudgingly agreed.

this had resulted in being bitten by a chicken when trying to retrieve its eggs, causing Negan to nearly die with laughter as you yelped out, a small trail of blood seeping from your finger. he’d took your delicate hand in his rough one to assess the damage, claiming you were being a big baby about it, giving a small kiss to it which made you freeze up at his inappropriate action. you felt it was more just to make you feel more embarrassed, knowing he loved to do things to antagonise you even further. you’d yanked your hand out of his, giving a small noise of disgust before stomping away from him to get a plaster.

you’d been given the more easy task of brushing the horses, claiming you didn’t want to get bitten again and your sister swore the horses were completely domesticated and not prone to acts of aggression.

you’d nearly finished when you saw Negan coming over to you, that small arrogance in the way he sauntered around this place. “any more injures happen today doll?” he asked, leaning on the barn doorway, that usual toothpick in his mouth. you sighed, dropping the brush back in the tack box and crossing your arms over your chest. “no, nothing for you to make fun of me today, i’m afraid.” he pushed himself off the doorframe, taking a couple steps towards you. “come on doll, let’s go for a ride. i need to go and get more firewood from the forest, live a little. i tell you, having the wind blowing past you when you are on the back of these magnificent animals, no feeling like it in the world.” your eyebrow raised a little, you were actually considering it for a good while.

you sighed, not like you had anything better to do. “okay fine! only if you do the actual work. i don’t feel like getting my hands dirty.” you agreed, letting him walk past you to get the riding saddles and strapping them to the horse. he did it with ease, stepping up with his large boot to get his foot into the stirrup, his long leg being thrown over the horses back. he put out his arm to help pull you up on the horse behind him, you’d hadn’t realised how close your groin would have been to his back with you sitting behind him, the feeling making your body betray you with how good it felt to be so close to him.

he started at a slow pace, guiding the horse out of the open stable door, setting off for the wood that you could see vaguely in the distance at the back of the farmland. you’d been holding onto the metal bar that was at the back of the saddle before Negan let out a laugh. “hold on doll!” your face contorted into confusion before Negan gently applied pressure into the horse with his leg causing it to accelerate into a fast gallop. you slightly squealed, taking your hands off the bar and threw your arms around his torso, nearly in death grip, scared of coming off the animal with how much bouncing around you were doing. your hands linked around the front of him, you could feel the hard abdomen muscles underneath his tank top, you knew he’d done this on purpose to either annoy you or try and get you to come off the horse.

the leather underneath you kept rubbing against your core, the bouncing causing your clit to keep hitting the seat, a small wetness gathering on the material of your panties underneath your flowy dress. well, at least horse riding was good for something, you thought to yourself.

you’d finally got into the wood, Negan bringing the horse to a stop, dismounting with you still on the back, tying the reign to a small stump of a tree. “can you help me get off please?” you asked, looking down at how far you were above the ground, getting a little nervous at getting off by yourself. “move your legs to the side and jump down, don’t worry doll, i’ll catch you.” he reassured you, his arms coming out, his fingers moving in a ‘come here’ motion, that stupid grin on his face at your obvious nervousness.

you brought your right leg to the other side of the horse, your palms digging into the saddle, you made no move to jump off, slightly worried about Negan actually catching you. he huffed, grabbing you by your thighs, causing you to let out a slight scream before he pulled you off the horse, his hands sliding from your thighs, trailing up your bodies sides as you slipped down from the height.

your legs were now wide open, your feet finally meeting the ground, Negan’s hands still placed on your waist as you looked up at him. you realised he was still touching you, before you pushed his hands off you, smoothing out your dress. “thank you but i was just about to jump down myself, i didn’t need you to manhandle me, farmer boy.” you snapped, walking away from him to pet the animal. he slightly chuckled, while moving to grab the axe from the satchel that was strapped to the horse.

“sure you were, princess.”

you’d been here for around half a hour, helping Negan by putting the chunks of firewood in the bag on the back of the horse. your hands were red from gripping the wood, trying to avoid getting any splinters, causing you to be quite slow at packing it away.

“you do know, you could go a bit faster doll, we’ll be out here until nightfall if not.” you rolled your eyes at his taunting. “i don’t want any further injuries thank you.”

he growled, obviously annoyed at how unwilling you were to pick up the pace. “look, you might be able to sit around doing absolutely nothing back in your fancy palace at home but i’d rather not get my ass chomped by whatever creature could be lurking in this place, so just pick up the pace, please.” you scoffed, turning around to face him, he had the axe in both hands, his hip slightly twisted to face you. “no, you look! i don’t know what kind of impression you’ve gathered in your head of me, but.. yes i don’t do much work, yes i’d rather play the pretty housewife than go out and bend over backwards for work. if that makes me lazy, then so be it. i can’t help i have a taste for a easier way of life.”

it was now his turn to scoff at you, he threw the axe down to the ground, taking large footsteps towards you, you back yourself up against a tall tree behind you, the sharp bark of it digging into your skin a little. he towered over you before bringing his face closer to yours, his arm just above and slightly to the side of your head, resting on the tree.

“you mean your pretty little life of faking orgasms for your dear clueless husband? faking pleasure so you can continue to use him for his precious fucking money, that the easier way of life you are talking about?” he taunted, you screwed your face up in anger, how dare he?!

“excuse me? how dare you make your false assumptions about my marriage?! who do you think you are?!” you shouted out at him, taking your hands off the bark of the tree to try and push him away from you. not even moving him a inch due to his strong frame, he grabbed your wrists, forcing your hands above your head, digging them into the rough surface.

“oh give me a fucking break sweetheart, you think i didn’t notice the way you looked at me the other day. looked like a damn fucking dog in heat, you need a proper man like me to teach you some fucking manners. the way you look down at me from your ivory tower, i’ve kept the peace for your sisters sake but now i’m getting fucking tired of it, princess.”

“i don’t know what the hell you are talking about! like i’d ever look at your hillbilly ass like that, Negan, you must be joking!” you slowly laughed, truth not really following your words and he could tell. he gave a gravely laugh back, he moved his hand off your wrist, now applying more pressure with the remaining one so you couldn’t move. he moved his other under the skirt of your dress, fingertips brushing your inner thigh.

“let’s take a wager doll, if your panties ain’t fucking soaking for me right now, i’ll let you go. if they are? well, you’re going to get a lesson in basic southern hospitality from good ol’ Negan, let’s see shall we?” you tried to come up with some sort of smart mouth retort, the pure lust in his tone had you silent. his fingertips finally moving over the lace of your panties, his mouth moving to a wide grin when he did indeed find that the material was absolutely soaking wet.

“well, well, well? would you look at that?” he moved the lace to the side, now running his fingers up and down your folds, his fingertips now slick with your juices.

“don’t fucking flatter yourself, farmer boy. i just haven’t had any in months.”

the hand he used to hold your arms quickly pulled off, a slight slap to your cheek, the skin underneath turning red at the motion before he grasped your chin roughly.

“you still never fucking learn do you, you fucking slut. wet over your sisters husband, ain’t so prim and proper now, are you? now i think the only way to finally shut you up is to stuff that pretty fucking mouth with my dick, get on your fucking knees.”

his voice dark, you swallowed hard to be rid of the lump in your throat. he whipped you around so his back was now against the tree, pushing down on your shoulders to get you to your knees, his large frame now looking even more scary looking up at him. he unbuckled his belt, undoing the button of his cargos to pull out his impressively large and already hard cock.

you cried out, small tears leaving your eyes at his size, it was bigger than you’d had before and the thought of it being inside you, scared you to death while also causing your panties to get even wetter.

he laughed, grasping your hair roughly into a painful, makeshift ponytail. “keep those tears coming princess, just makes you even sexier, down there on your knees for me, now open that fucking slutty mouth, i’ve got a present for you.” he grasped the base of his dick, his fingers pulling your hair even more as he guided his cock towards your mouth. you reluctantly opened as wide as you could, the salty precum meeting your tastebuds.

“goddamn! ain’t that the prettiest sight i’ve ever seen!” Negan grunted out, his hips rocking forward to force more of his cock down your throat, the whimpers coming from you making him hiss in pleasure. your spit gathered at the base of him, getting caught in the soft hair there. he was enjoying the sight of you softly crying on your knees for him.

he kept himself buried at the back of your throat, keeping you struggling to breathe, coughing and gagging around his length, Negan throwing his head back at how good your mouth felt wrapped around him like he was. your mouth bobbed up and down against him, you tongue tracing the underside of his length, as he rolled his hips, looking down at you, savouring seeing you completely obedient to his control.

he pulled himself out of your mouth, finally letting you breathe, your throat and jaw burning with the force he’d had held you at.

he forced you up by your hair, moving you over to a large, jagged rock, your back forced against the cold surface.

“spread those pretty legs for me, slut. i want to see how wet you are for me.”

you moved your legs open for him, your feet coming to rest on the side of the rock, knees bent. Negan pulled your dress up to bunch around your torso, he yanked the top of it down, exposing your tits to the cold forest air. he grasped one in his hand, flicking your nipple, giving it a harsh slap afterwards. you yelped at the pleasurable pain of it, your breathing becoming ragged and unsteady. moving your panties to the side again as he had before, he gathered saliva and spat right on your core, the dirtiness of the action causing you to moan. giving a slap to your pussy, you whimpered at the pain that shot through your chest, head thrown back before he threw your leg over his shoulder, pulling your head back by your hair to meet his eyes.

“none of that doll, i want you to look at me while i stretch this pretty pussy out. look at it squeezing for me, begging for me.”

Negan hardened his grasp on your leg, holding on to it, he released your hair to run a finger up your pussy, your juices collecting on them as he bought them up to his mouth, sucking on them.

“you taste fucking divine princess, i’d eat this pretty little pussy all day but you don’t deserve that do you? you need putting in your place, this ain’t meant to be enjoyable for you, now is it?”

he lined up at your opening, letting no time go to waste before he entered you, filling you up to the hilt. you softly moaned when his hips snapped against yours, tightening yourself around his length, the pleasure nearly too much for you to handle. your back scraping against the uncomfortable rock, knowing you’d have cuts afterwards but you were too focused on the situation at hand.

“goddamn princess, absolutely squeezing me, this is what you wanted isn’t it. you may not respect my lifestyle but you couldn’t wait for me to teach you a fucking lesson could you?”

you could only moan, his hand that wasn’t on your leg coming down to wrap around your throat, thumb pressing down on your windpipe, restricting your breathing. it would have scared you, but in a funny way you trusted Negan to guide you through the experiment of a intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure.

his thrusts built up in not only speed but aggression as well, your body contorted into a curve as he pulled you to meet your lips in a rough kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth, biting on your lower lip as his hand still wrapped your throat. your arms gripping onto his broad shoulders, pressing down your nails into his tanned skin.

“i can feel how wet you are, you slut. come on princess, i want to feel you soak my fucking cock.”

your mind was hazy, absolutely cock-drunk from this man, never had you had such pleasure in your marriage, never realising how much the thought of being used would light such a unknown fire inside you.

“nega-negan i’m going to cum, please, can i cum?” you begged, your voice almost stopped as he rammed into you, the pressure on your throat causing your begging to come out as a broken set of words. the thought of something or someone coming along and seeing your sisters husband and you in such a precarious position made your mind run at a thousand miles a hour.

“go on you slut, come all over my cock, i wanna see those pretty eyes roll back into that empty fucking head of yours.”

that was all the permission you needed as you let yourself go, your body trembling, overwhelming pleasure as the shame of what you just allowed your sisters husband to do to you washed over your brain. it was the first time you’d ever squirted in your life, your juices dripping over Negan’s cock as he followed close behind you to his own release.

he came himself with a loud grunt, small whimper mixed in as well. “yeah, let me fill that tight pussy up, want myself dripping down your thighs for the rest of the day princess.”

he let go of your throat, you both trying to catch your breath, your task being harder than his as his choking had almost cut off your circulation. he leaned against your leg, watching as his seed started to slowly spill out of you, laughing at the sight.

“that is fucking gorgeous, look at that! have you learnt your lesson doll?” you weakly nodded, your eyes meeting his.

maybe you could stretch to a couple more visits a year.

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lizzy-tudor · 8 months

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From Princess, to Queen, to Duchess

Mary Tudor (March, c. 1496; London, England - June, 1533; Suffolk, England) was an English princess, the third wife of King Louis XII of France and one of the two sisters of King Henry VIII. Mary was also the grandmother of Lady Jane Grey, who would become titular queen of England for nine days in 1553.

Mary’s father, King Henry VII, betrothed her to Archduke Charles —later Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V — in 1507. In 1514, however, political tribulations caused King Henry VIII to renounce such engagement and arrange a match between his beautiful, charming and yound sister and Louis XII, the sick and french monarch of 52. Since Mary was already in love with Charles Brandon, the first Duke of Suffolk, she made Henry promise that after Louis died she would be allowed to choose her next husband.

The marriage with the french king took place on Octouber of 1514, and Mary performed her role as wife and royal consort with kindness and dedication until he died on January of the following year. Before Henry or the new King of France, Francis I, could use her as a pawn in another political arrangement, Mary secretly wed Suffolk in Paris, probably in late February. Henry VIII was infuriated at the news, but eventually the pair regained the king’s favour, with Suffolk paying him a large sum of money and perhaps with the help and intercession of Cardinal Wolsey.Mary and Charles had four children, two daughters and two sons: ⇒ Henry Brandon (11 March 1516 – 1522); ⇒ Lady Frances Brandon (16 July 1517 – 20 November 1559), married to Henry Grey, 3rd Marquess of Dorset, and mother to Lady Jane Grey; ⇒ Lady Eleanor Brandon (1519 – 27 September 1547), married to Henry Clifford, 2nd Earl of Cumberland; ⇒ Henry Brandon, 1st Earl of Lincoln (c. 1523 – March 1534).

Mary had enjoyed unprecedented freedom during her teenage years at her brother's court. Just fourteen when her father, Henry VII died, she spent the next five years almost completely unchaperoned, encouraged to participate in every event, celebration and feast, each planned to display the opulence of the english royal family. She shared Henry's exuberance for spectacle and, for some time, was one of the central ladies of the court, admired and sociable. Like him, she loved dancing, masques, and parties; they were also very close, with the princess being the apple of the king's eye. It's rumored that Henry's famous warship, the Mary Rose, was named after both his favorite sister and his only daughter with Catherine of Aragon.

Upon her arrival in France, Mary was proclamed, by the Venetian Ambassador, to be "handsome and well favoured, grey-eyed; slight, rather than defective from corpulence, and conducts herself with so much grace, and has such good manners, that for her age of 18 years—and she does not look more—she is a paradise." She was particularly admired by her contemporaries for her long red hair, which she had inherited from the Plantagenet lineage through her mother, Elizabeth of York, who had also been an celebrated beauty.

After her second marriage, the Duchess of Suffolk lived a quiet life in the country, retired from court, although she had been know to have attended the famous Field of the Cloth of Gold at Guines, near Calais, in 1520. Often referred to as the French Queen, she was known to dislike Anne Boleyn and in defiance of her brother was to prove a firm supporter of her sister-in-law, Catherine of Aragon, in the matter of Henry VIII's annulment of his marriage to his first wife.

Mary visited London for the last time to celebrate the wedding of her eldest daughter, Lady Frances Brandon, to Henry Grey, Marquess of Dorset, in 1533. After suffering failing health for some years, Mary Tudor died on 25 June 1533 at the age of thirty-eight at Westhorpe Hall, Westhorpe, Suffolk, possibly of cancer. Henry VIII had requiem masses sung at Westminster Abbey for the repose of her soul and she was given a magnificent funeral, which her husband did not attend. Her body was interred at the Abbey of Bury St Edmunds. The Duke of Suffolk quickly remarried again, in that same year, to his fourteen-year-old ward, Katherine Willoughby (1519–1580), suo jure Baroness Willoughby de Eresby. Katherine had been betrothed to his eldest surviving son, Henry, Earl of Lincoln, but the boy was too young to marry, and Charles, to eager to add the heiress fourtune to his own.

#tudor dynasty #tudor queens #tudor history #tudor era #tudorqueens #the tudors #mary tudor #henry viii #elizabeth of york #charles brandon #tudor england #tudor period #tudor women #english royalty #house of tudor #medieval england #english history

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anotherhumaninthisworld · 11 months

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Can you please tell me some wholesome facts about the revolutionaries? 😊

In his notes on Robespierre (written somewhere right after thermidor) Fréron claims that, at least while at college, ”one cannot remember to have seen him laugh once.” But then later he writes that ”the witty naiveties of Camille Desmoulins made Robespierre laugh until he cried.”

On January 23 1793, Lucile Desmoulins writes in her diary about witnessing the funeral procession of Louis-Michel le Peletier, a deputy murdered on the 20th after having voted for death during the king’s trial. She was very touched by what she saw and couldn’t stop her tears for a while. After all her guests have left that evening she can’t stand to be alone with her thoughts, so ”I ran to D(anton’s). He was moved to see me still pale and defeated. We drank tea, I supped there.”

In his memoirs, Barras reports the following about Augustin Robespierre:

[Napoleon] informed me that a woman of the lower classes, who had been assisted by Robespierre the Younger, had been arraigned before the Revolutionary Tribunal and sentenced to death during his absence from Paris, and that on his return he had expressed disapproval of the sentence, sent for the twelve-year-old son of that woman, clothed him, and admitted him to his table; the boy feeling sad, Ricord commanded him to drink to the health of the Republic, but the lad refused; thereupon Robespierre the Younger, addressing Ricord, said to him: ”Respect such a character. You would not do as much under similar circumstances."

On October 20 Couthon wrote a very clingy letter to Saint-Just while away on a mission to Lyon — ”You haven't written me a line, my friend, since we parted; I blame you for it, because you promised me that in any case of absence, you would give me your news. […] You know, my dear friend, that I need, to console myself for the evils that overwhelm me, testimonies of interest from those I esteem; tell me then that you exist, that you are well, that you have not forgotten me, and I will be happy.”

Le Bas also wrote quite warmly about SJ in a letter to his wife dated November 28 1793:

We went this morning, Saint-Just and I, to visit one of the highest mountains at the top of which is an old fort in ruins, placed on an immense rock. We both felt, looking around, a delicious feeling. This is the first day that we have had a break. […] Saint-Just is almost as eager as I to see Paris again. I promised him dinner from your hand. I’m glad you don’t hold it against him; he is an excellent man; I love and esteem him more and more by every passing day. The Republic has no more ardent, more intelligent defender. The most perfect agreement, the most constant harmony reigned among us. What makes him even dearer to me is that he often talks to me about you and consoles me as much as he can. He sets a high value, it seems to me, on our friendship, and he says things to me from time to time with a very good heart.

Élisabeth Le Bas confirms her husband’s feelings for Saint-Just in her memoirs, when describing the relationship between the three while on a mission together:

Saint-Just had the most delicate attentions for me en route and the considerations of a tender brother. At each relay station, he descended from the coach to see if anything was missing, for fear of an accident. He saw me suffering so much that he feared for me. He was, at last, so good and so attentive to my sister-in-law and me that the trip did not seem long to us. My beloved was very sensitive to all his kindnesses and gave him all his recognition. To pass the time, these messieurs would read us Molière plays or some passages from Rabelais, and sang Italian airs; they made every effort to distract us and make me forget my suffering.

When Camille on December 11 1790 was finally given permission by Lucile’s parents to marry their daughter, he described his reaction the following way: ”When her mother told me a moment ago, she brought me to her room; I threw myself on Lucile’s lap; surprised at hearing her laugh I open my eyes, hers were in no better state than mine, she was all in tears, she was even crying profusely and yet she was still laughing. I have never seen such a delightful spectacle, and I would not have imagined that nature and sensibility could unite these two contrasts to such an extent.”

In February 1793 Camille and Lucile went on a short trip to Essonne, where they lived alone in an old castle and amused themselves with going for walks, riding donkeys, fishing and boating. In a letter to her mother Lucile reports: ”You would laugh if you saw C(amille) as a boatman, rowing as hard as he can and at any moment flanking the boat against the first point of land that it meets. What a pity that it isn’t summer! […] Write to me as soon as possible to let is know the day you have chosen for us to pick you up at Essonne in a cabriolet and me on my donkey.”

On August 9 1793, Madame Roland was joined in prison by Pétion’s wife Anne Madeleine Françoise and ten year old son Louis Étienne Jérôme. Judging by what she wrote in her memoirs and letters (1, 2, 3), it would appear like she took them both under her wing:

I suffered for my poor companion beyond words. It was I who undertook the sad task of preparing her for the blow she hardly expected, and of announcing it to her (Most likely a reference to the death of Anne’s mother, executed in Paris on September 24 1793). I was sure to bring to it the alleviations that another would perhaps have found with difficulty, because it is only my position that could make me share her pain so well. This circumstance caused her to be sent to me; we eat together, and she likes to spend most of the days near me; I work much less, but I am useful, and this feeling makes me taste a kind of charm that the tyrants do not know. […] I receive Lady B's letters with gratitude. I do not know them, I intend to make them useful for two people, I will have little P(étion) read them; I had only Thompson which he could not yet understand.

Éléonore Duplay also appears to have been a huge support to her little sister Élisabeth and two month old nephew Philippe while the three sat in prison together after thermidor. In her memoirs, Élisabeth writes — ”Oh! I will not in a lifetime forget you! For without you I would have succumbed; but, with your courage, you revived my strength and made me see that I had a great task to fulfill, that I had a son, that I needed to live for him. […] No, good dear sister Éléonore, I will not forget your devotion to me and your poor little nephew in a lifetime; my recognition will be eternal!”

Lucile Desmoulins and Hébert’s wife Marie Marguerite Françoise they too seem to have been rather inseparable both while in prison together and on their way to the scaffold.

After the death of Phillippeaux and Desmoulins, the former’s wife Marguerite became friends with the latter’s mother-in-law Annette. The two processed their grief together and also let their children, Auguste Phillippeaux (1787) and Horace Desmoulins (1792) get to know and play with each other. Five letters from Marguerite to Annette have been published, and they really are quite wholesome.

Other posts I’ve already made that contain wholesome stuff:

Cute animals compilation

Horace Desmoulins

Robespierre with children

#ok most of these are perhaps more bittersweet than wholesome #but that’s how it goes in the french revolution #if anyone has more feel free to add!#maximilien robespierre #augustin robespierre #camille desmoulins #lucile desmoulins #philippe lebas #élisabeth lebas #louis antoine saint just #manon roland

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louisupdates · 3 months

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[Translated from Spanish]

Louis Tomlinson chose Argentina once again to enjoy the time before his show on May 18, nothing more and nothing less than at the Vélez Sarsfield Stadium in front of 40,000 people. His last visit to the country took place under the framework of his concert at the Movistar Arena, in mid-2022 with the presentation of his debut solo album Walls, so the fans wanted to be able to see it again and share some time with him.

To the good luck of those present last weekend at the Four Seasons hotel in Buenos Aires, Louis took some time to greet each and every one of them on the street, where minutes before he had spoken with various media about how he prepares for this great show, which in his own words "is a great leap in his career."

In this show, he will present his latest studio album, Faith In The Future, which has hits such as "Bigger Than Me", "Out Of My System" or "The Greatest" and which he presented in an exclusive listening at The Roxy Bar & Grill at the end of 2022.

You have already stepped on the field of Vélez, you even had the opportunity to score a couple of goals, how did you feel?

Very good to be honest, but I'm not going to lie to you, I think I injured my quadriceps, I'm not very fit these days (laughs). As a soccer fan it's beautiful to be able to play on a field in good condition, I was able to kick some penalties, score a couple of goals... It was a great day.

Especially in Argentina, a country so passionate about football, did you have the opportunity to know anything about our football culture?

Totally, I saw the videos of the celebration of the World Cup, five million people... It was crazy. I love that, football is my other love after music. Having so many people who love the same thing as me makes me feel at home, it's very nice.

When you stepped on the grass, could you imagine how crowded it will be in your show?

It's something very difficult to imagine. You have the idea because you look at the place and you could have the image of what it will be like, but I really don't think you have the true feeling until you go on stage. It's a reaction that is always shocking to me, because although it's real, and you can have an image in your head of what it will look like, you can't imagine how it will feel to get there and go on stage with so many people. I'm excited to be able to feel it.

Did you prepare something special for our audience?

I think I'll probably be bringing... The setlist will be a little different... Maybe bring some of the old songs, make new covers... I would like the show to feel a little different from the last ones we did, so there will be some new additions.

You recently commented that Anitta was your favorite Brazilian singer. We are a little jealous.

It's fair, I get it, I get it. Give me a minute... Where is it? (Take a paper out of your pocket) I have a couple of names... Here I have it, look at this: WOS, Airbag, Cerati, do you see it? Are they okay? I have three here.

From the Movistar Arena two years ago, to this show in Vélez, what differences can you notice?

The truth is that I can't tell you... It seems that I made a very good record, and the jump is huge. It's something I don't know what to expect, because since I didn't know what my first show would be like, I wasn't very aware of what the evolution would be like from there. I feel very grateful to be able to be in these beautiful places, the stadiums, the arenas... I feel very lucky to be able to have the opportunity to do it again.

Throughout your career you have been present multiple times in both the Hot 100 and the Hot 100 Argentina, is it something that worries you when it comes to creating songs?

It's something I try not to be too worried about. I think that sometimes, when you try to create something for playlists, for radio or something similar, the panorama of the imagination changes because it becomes a more linear path. I was particularly enjoying writing a lot, regardless of the success that the track will have. A lot of what I do when I write is oriented to the live show, and later it is molded for the radio.

Are you working on something special for this year?

I wrote about four or five songs for the new album. By the end of this year, I think I'm going to start writing a lot more, with the intention of presenting a new album next year.

#billboard argentina #louis tomlinson #fitfwt24: buenos aires #louis press #louis interviews #6.4.2024

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blouisparadise · 2 years

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Upon request, here is a rec list of BL fics where Louis is absolutely smittne with Harry. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog the post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Press Into My Bones | Explicit | 2121 words

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” he hisses, half annoyed, half aroused.

Harry only hums in lieu of a reply, his eyes not even open yet. Bastard. His mate is a bastard.

Or Louis wakes up full.

2) The Moon, The Stars (Are Nothing Without You) | Explicit | 2960 words

There are times when Louis wishes he could freeze time. Moments where he wishes he could put the world on halt and just breathe because sometimes it feels like everything is moving much too fast and all the years of his life won’t ever be enough time for him to soak it all in.

3) In My Bed (You're Not Here) | Mature | 5685 words

Louis fears that his long-term boyfriend Harry is losing feelings for him. A drunken night reveals he might be wrong.

4) Let’s Shack Up | Explicit | 11257 words

In which Louis wants to wake up in Harry’s arms forever. So he makes a list.

Or Loosely based on Ben Platt’s "Share Your Address"

5) No Place Without You | Explicit | 19089 words

A Wanderlust AU in which Harry doesn't have a permanent home and stays with Louis when he visits NYC.

6) Absolutely Smitten | Explicit | 20120 words

Adopting Clifford was a way for Louis to finally cope with his loneliness, as a lively dog would spice up his life and his boring daily routine. Now, he surely didn’t expect Clifford to lead him to meet one strange man obsessed with his cat that he walks and cooks with.

Somehow, Louis falls in love pretty fast along the way.

7) Boyfriend Material | Explicit | 22565 words

So basically Nick bets Louis he can't go two months without sex. And then he introduces Harry to him. Because he's the devil.

8) Force of Nature | Explicit | 25672 words

Louis is a shy, young musician who doesn't want to go to Harvard.

Harry is a confident, second year athlete who likes to have a good time.

When their paths cross while their families are vacationing at the same lake resort, what begins as a summer of fun becomes a defining journey that might just change everything.

9) Compete Against The Stars | Mature | 30980 words

An ABO au where Louis finds out he's claimed to another Alpha. Angst ensues.

10) These Hallowed Woods | Explicit | 35535 words

Louis becomes Luna of the Tomlinson Pack after the untimely death of his father, the Pack Alpha. Saddled with his newfound responsibility and an unpleasantly demanding pack council, he finds secret respite in the arms of a rogue wolf that camps out just outside his territory. The only problem? The rogue has no idea who Louis actually is, and as Louis falls harder and harder for the man he escapes to every night, the weight of his lies steers him along a path of certain misery.

11) I Think I'm In Love This Christmas | Explicit | 36084 words

Home for the holidays and tired of being single, Louis tells his family that he’s dating his childhood friend, Harry (the fact he’s in love with him is irrelevant). Unbeknownst to him, Harry's the handyman who's been helping his parents whilst he's been at uni. So he's left to confront the alpha and ask for his assistance. Pretending to date your best friend is easier than Louis imagined.

12) Worth Dying For | Explicit | 44906 words

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

13) Through The Wheatfields And The Coastlines | Explicit | 52855 words

The one where Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

14) Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You) | Mature | 54609 words

Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles.

Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn.

He also starts to fall in love with Harry.

Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

15) The Galaxy's Edge | Explicit | 113921 words

In which Louis is a bounty hunter with a messed up past. Harry is a prince who just wants to prove himself. Niall and Zayn have too many things to figure out together. And Liam just wants to take care of his family.

Things never quite go as they are planned during a simple rescue job.

16) Cold Little Heart | Teen & Up | 194589 words

Louis is a soft omega with an abusive past and an alpha child. A few months after getting a divorce, Louis meets Harry, an ex-military alpha wolf that offers him something odd. In exchange for teaching him how to cook, Harry will babysit his son, Abraham. Louis really could use the help.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#blp #fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #smitten louis #blp fic recs #larry

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lithiumcreepblog · 10 months

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Steve Harrington & Jonathan Byers’

The Great American Road Trip

Day 1. 07/21/1993. Chicago, IL to St. Louis, MO.

Day 1: Jonathan and I are on the Route 66. Finally. We have been planning this trip for a while, and we’re going from Chicago to Santa Monica the whole way through, then visiting Argyle. I’ve been wanting to go on a cross country road trip for a long time, so it’s great that we get to go now. We stopped by a vendor at the pier first and got some sunglasses for the road. Jonathan said I’m too obsessed with sunglasses. I don’t think so though. It’s not my fault I look incredibly cool in them. He looks really good in them too, not that he’ll ever admit it. He wouldn’t let me take a picture of him with two sunglasses on at the same time, but he looked pretty silly. We drove for a few hours to Springfield where we stopped for a quick lunch at a diner. Actually, Jonathan drove and I provided meaningful commentary the whole way. Jonathan also won’t stop filming everything he sees with his video camera… he’s making a film later of our trip. Robin told me I should keep a journal too, write down stuff I find interesting along the way. Which I saw a lot of. One of which is this big statue called The Gemini Giant in Wilmington. He had an astronaut helmet that looks more like a mask for welding, but it was pretty cool. My favorite stop of the day was the detour to the old brick road which is part of the original stretch of the Route. We’re already out of Illinois and made it to St. Louis even with all our stops. But it was already dark when we arrived so we’ll have to see the Arch tomorrow. I’m absolutely wiped because I took over the driving role after Springfield, but today was more fun than I even imagined.

“Do you really have to record everything?”

“Oh yes, this is very important. We’re capturing the essence of Americana… gorging yourself on a hamburger with bacon. Pure American decadence.”

“Give me that, I’m not being the only one with my mouth open on camera.”

“Alright, alright. Here you go, get a shot of our milkshakes together.”

“So, Jonathan. Tell the camera, how have I been as a road trip companion so far?”

“Hmm, very distracting.”

“What? I’m offended.”

“Don’t look at me like a kicked puppy, I mean it in a good way. I’ve just never seen you this lively or taken with anything, that’s all. This is about fulfilling your dream as much as it is about mine. It is like being a kid all over again, isn’t it? Going places we’ve never been before and seeing new things. It’s just hard to focus on the road when your eyes are lighting up beside me with every weird landmark we pass.”

“Nice save there, Jon. I am glad we get to do this together. It’s already some of the most fun I’ve had, and you are a great partner to go on a road trip with.”

“Likewise, Steve. I can’t believe we’ve never done this before.”

“And why don’t you give us something from that book of yours as parting words for anyone who might be seeing this?”

“I don’t think we’ll be showing this to anyone but sure… let’s see… okay, here. ‘What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?—It’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.’”

“Alright… I think I understood what that means… now, back on the road!”

Steve & Jonathan listen to this on repeat for about 5 times before they both grow tired of it. Steve then wonders if there are any other songs about Route 66 to which Jonathan goes on a 15 minute long lecture about the origin of the song, from Nat King Cole to the other renditions. Steve listens with a fond smile as Jonathan becomes more animated behind the wheel, and plays the tape again just for the fun of it.

Souvenirs obtained: one fridge magnet that says Route 66 Illinois for Joyce, one miniature car to put on Steve’s shelf, one postcard set for the memories.

#stonathan #jonathan byers #steve harrington #moodboard #ficlet #fanwork #no plot just vibes #stranger things #back on my stonathan bullshit #literally nobody asked for this #but i need to see them go on a road trip together #could also be part of my chicago chronicles series…?#if anyone even knows what that is #should i keep going?#i probably will #Spotify #sj tgart #<- for tracking

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back2bluesidex · 2 years

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I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader

Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension

Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.

Word count: 5,655

a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.

Read Prologue for context

Next Chapter

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"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.

This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.

She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.

Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.

I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.

"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.

------------

Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.

It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.

The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.

Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.

"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.

While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.

And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.

-----------------

Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.

I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.

I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.

"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.

"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.

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It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.

"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.

I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.

For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.

It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.

That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.

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A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.

"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.

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Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.

That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.

a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts

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ferventrabbit · 6 months

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Ao3 Fics

Hello hello! I thought I'd pin a post of my works on Ao3 :-). Here are the pairings I write:

Hannibal: Hannibal/Will Good Omens: Aziraphale/Crowley Interview with the Vampire: Lestat/Louis Our Flag Means Death: Ed/Stede Red White and Royal Blue: Alex/Henry Young Royals: Simon/Wilhelm

Fic Key

🤝 Collaborations

Series

🐭 Hannibal: Disney for Cannibals

🏡 Our Flag Means Death: Tales from a Seaside Inn

Completed longer works (>5k)

Hannibal

🐭 Tale as Old As Time (M): "I would consider very carefully before moving any further, Will," says Hannibal. Will can feel the mirth dancing in time with Molly's pulse. "What am I considering?" A great perhaps," he says. If he could learn to love another, the spell would be broken. But who could ever learn to love a beast? (24.7k)

Our Flag Means Death

Down to Fall (E): Stede decides he wants to expand their repertoire, so to speak. Like all things worth having, it's worth working for. (5.9K)

High Point (T): Documentary videographer Ed Teach retired at the top of his game five years ago. An odd request from documentary producer Stede Bonnet has lured him back into the field to join a film crew in the mountains of India. Ed and Stede are looking for a snow leopard, but end up finding something unexpected along the way. (9.6k)

🏡 Old Friends (T): The crew of the Revenge pay the innkeepers a visit. (6.7k)

One Day You'll Awaken (T): A sea witch gives Edward Teach a gift - Blackbeard, a shadow, a sentinel - to keep him safe and strong. Her condition? He must keep Blackbeard close, or she will make sure he sleeps soundly forever. Stede Bonnet threatens to ruin her plans. (32.6k)

Red White and Royal Blue

Once in a Century (E): After the kiss everything goes to utter and complete shit. OR COVID-19 interferes with best laid plans. (23.7k)

Completed one-shots (<5k)

Hannibal

A Terror Quiet Calm (E): Will makes up his mind during Mizumono, when things could have ended differently. A Mizumono fix-it. (1.2k)

Conversion (T): The woodsman notices a presence in the wilderness. A giver of gifts. (2.5k)

Hot Stuff, or The night Hannibal realized he was well and truly whipped (T): Hannibal wakes up to find Will is missing. His search leads to some surprising discoveries. (2.1k)

Into the Dark (G): "In the dark Will looked like a shadow. Hannibal felt the soft sound of Will’s breathing on his skin, tasted it in his throat." Prepare for super creepy times! (1.3k)

Raindrop Prelude (T): Will and Hannibal, on a boat, feeling feels. (1K)

🐭 Poor Unfortunate Soul (M): Will would sell his soul to be rid of the nightmares that plague him. Or, at least, his voice. (4.9k)

Surge (E): "He remembers that look in the kitchen, tries to place it. He’d seen flashes of it in Baltimore: the night of Clark Ingram’s arrest and maybe even the first time they met, glimpsed from the corner of Will’s eye. Then in Italy, seated together at the feet of spring. He doesn’t think about the cliff – can’t, or else his lungs tighten and he feels like he can’t breathe, like he might be dying." (2.3k)

The Tide (M): Based on this prompt: I can’t shake this idea: Hannibal and Will being intimate for the first time and being utterly overwhelmed by it. (1.5k)

🐭 Trust in Me (G): Will is lost in the jungle. He finds refuge in a familiar place. (2.1k)

Until (M): Will is desperate for an end. Hannibal will fight him every step of the way. (1.8k)

Interview with the Vampire

Room for One More (E): Baby Vampire's First Night In. or: Louis is feeling some type of way about sleeping in a coffin, but after some finagling he and Lestat finally get it right. (2.3k)

Good Omens

Hush (M): Aziraphale has returned from heaven, but there are things still left unsaid. Crowley has finally had enough. (2.1k).

Our Flag Means Death

Anchor (E): Ed assures Stede that their first time was not a mistake, which Stede desperately needs (AND DESERVES) to hear. (1.7k)

Captain's Quarters (G): Ed and Stede platonically share a bed and feel feelings, like pirates do. (2.3k)

Daylight (E): Ed doesn't know what to do with himself when Stede comes back, until he does. (2.1k)

🏡 Filled (E): Stede thinks about what it would be like if he could carry Ed’s child, which leads where all roads lead during Bottom Stede Week. (3.6k)

🏡 Filled Out (E): Ed tries to figure out how he feels about his body post-piracy. A post-season 2 inn fic. (1.6k)

The Finer Points (G): Stede expands his fancy pants curriculum to include a simple waltz. (1.9k)

🏡 First Night (E): Truly just an entire fic of Ed and Stede making out in this shitty house. A post-season 2 inn fic. (2.1k)

Five Kisses (E): A chronicle of five important kisses on the good ship Blackbonnet. (2.3k)

🤝 Forever's Gonna Start Tonight with @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall (G): As the total solar eclipse approaches, two strangers meet at the top of a mountain, one with a telescope and one with a picnic basket full of eclipse treats. (5k)

Holdover (E): A PWP in which Stede wears a nightie for one reason and one reason only. (3.5k)

I Feel Pretty (E): Stede engaging in body worship of Ed, his preferred occupation. (1.4k)

Interlude (E): A PWP missing scene from 2x08 because BOYFRIENDS. (1.7k)

Leather and Silk (E): A PWP based on the “leather and silk” bts we received from Samba 🙏. (1.6k)

Midnight on the Revenge (G): Literally just a smol fic about Stede holding Ed until he falls asleep because I need that, okay? (1k)

🤝 Milkmaid with @dracothelizard (E): Stede remembers the little song he and Ed sang at the floating market, and Ed decides it’s as good a day as any to show Stede the true meaning of “all things milk.” (4.6k)

🤝 Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday with @petrichorca (M): Dave just wanted a place to sleep for the night, but he gets a lot more than he bargained for when the owners of a seaside inn make him an unwitting participant in their wedding. Will he make it through the ceremony unscathed? And what’s that seagull doing here? (4.9k)

🤝 Row Your Boat with @petrichorca (T): A missing scene following the events of season 2, episode 4, “Fun and Games.” Ed’s agreed to come back to the Revenge with Stede for the night, but they’ve got two dinghies to row back to the ship—will the distance between them linger? (3.3k)

🏡 Soft Open (T): Ed and Stede start sprucing up their inn and welcome Mary and Doug for a soft open. (3.3k)

Storm (G): Stede helps Ed through his grief in the season 2 finale. (1k)

Taking it Slow (E): As requested, Stede takes it slow. (2k)

That Ship Has Sailed (E): My interpretation of what happened after Calypso's birthday. (2.1k)

The Lube That Fell to Earth (E): A fic in honor of the Astroglide lube-along, in which Ed and Stede are in receipt of a gift from outer space. (4.1k)

🏡 Threshold (T): Ed and Stede take turns carrying each other over the threshold of the inn. Eventually, they cross it together. (2.6k)

🏡 Tucked In (E): Discussion of first times and new discoveries under the Wee John blanket. A post-season 2 inn fic. (2.7k)

Wanted (T): The fuckery after their inevitable discovery at the inn, and what it means for Ed. Written for the #13DaysofCrimesmas! (2.7k)

Wide Awake (M): Five times Stede wakes Ed up, and one time Ed returns the favor. Set throughout seasons 1 and 2. (2.2k)

Works for Spiders, Works for Men (G): Stede rescues Ed from a formidable eight-legged foe. (575)

Young Royals

After the Credits (M): I needed the cameras to keep rolling after their first kiss...OR The dramatic make-out session that may or may not change everything. (2.1k)

After the Curtains (M): As per my last fic, I need these scenes to keep going! This takes place after Wilhelm shuts the curtains in episode 5. (1.2k)

Works in progress

Good Omens

The Second Coming and Other Heavenly Tales (T): Aziraphale is the new Supreme Archangel of Heaven, and he's made a huge mistake. As Aziraphale navigates a tricky heavenly web, Crowley tries to find a way forward - is there one? - while being periodically interrupted by wishful Bentley songs and transmissions from Alpha Centurai. Can the ineffable duo save Earth from "Plan C?" Will the ducks in St. James' park ever get the good bread again? Join my headcanon for season 3 to find out! (16.5k, 15/20)

#my fics #fic writer #ao3 #hannibal/will #gentlebeard #young royals #red white and royal blue #interview with the vampire #good omens #ineffable husbands #ofmd

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statementlou · 8 months

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Hi, I always like reading your thoughts. What do you thinking was the main point of all this parmageddon/chickengate nonsense? I just don't see how Louis answering that and making a few headlines about "denying" larry will benefit him in some way, at least with part of the fans it doesn't. Or at this point is any publicity is good publicity?

aw thanks babe! Well... first of all I'm not sure what you mean by "at this point" like... this is a very GOOD point, objectively speaking, things really just couldn't be going much better! That said, today's twitter chat was definitely Louis at work doing promo: it was pre planned and announced, hardly just a spontaneous impulse, he came on at the usual time for maximum exposure (around 5 pm UK/ 9 am-noon US time), he hit lots of standard promo talking points, and it was without question happening because he just announced a bunch of major dates, his first solo stadiums (and very possibly they announced those during the tour break so he could do promo for it). He answered questions about music, about how excited he is to visit LATAM and that yes, he wants to go other places, he threw in some of the trademark sassy snark we love so much, he mentioned Freddie and, of course, there was the anti-larrie tweet. He doesn't do that last one every time it's true; but mostly he hit the usual points, and throwing in some kind of "hi I'm straight btw" when promoting something IS absolutely part of the standard playbook, and this is actually much less effort than getting papped with a girl- especially now that Louis seems to have decided he's not doing that anymore. Every time something like this (Louis or Harry actively promoting the idea that they are straight) happens, there's an outcry at how they are alienating people and losing fans and it's bad for their brand so someone must be forcing them to do it, etc- which I find completely bizarre. It's always possible to find specific fans who are alienated or are like fuck this I'm leaving but if you take a step back their fandoms, both of them, are DEFINITELY NOT SHRINKING!! This is empirical completely objective FACT like just LOOK! Saying this hurts them in any way is, in my opinion, not being able to see the forest for the trees. The things they are doing are working extremely well for them- so it doesn't seem strange at all to me that they just keep doing the same things. I don't think anyone is doing it against their will on their behalf, I don't think they are being forced to do it (except by the heteropatriarchy and homophobic society generally), and I don't think it's bad for their brand: and as far as I can see today nothing has changed with that. Larries think exactly what we have thought before this and are carrying on as usual, solos/antis got a little boost, hell maybe Louis got to vent a little even (lbr larries ARE so fucking annoying at him all the time and it must seem SO ludicrous to him that we spend so much time thinking about this and care so much), his tour gets some press, and everything continues on as ever! Like I think calling it parmageddon is hilarious so I'm totally in, but also I mean... a bit dramatic yknow lol, it's just not that big a deal??

#final thought planned or not planned his choice of tweet to respond to was actually pretty brilliant maybe?#it's gotta be a balancing act to find something about larry to respond to #without giving a huge platform to something you don't want to draw attention to #that was quite a find from that perspective it was like...nothing lmao #blah blah blah #louis promo

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herbeloved82 · 10 months

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I'm a Father

Il Cimitero di San Michele.

A whole island designed as the place of eternal rest for many who, through the long centuries of its history, were born and died in Venice. It is a beautiful and peaceful place, built in the nineteenth century, last home for musicians and writers, politicians and heroes. It also embraced those who died under the care of another long before.

On the island, in a remote place, surrounded by flowers and the gentle lulling of the sea, was a chapel, built with the greatest care. The architects tasked to recreate the beauty and splendor of the Venetian Renaissance did an amazing job, and every day, hundreds of tourists wondered who could rest in such a beautiful place.

Princesses of old times, perhaps? Side by side with their princes, lying together for eternity after life made it impossible for them to live out their days in love. That was one of the stories that people loved to think was true.

Others would think about the Doges and their families. Could it be that in the cold embrace of the marble long lost secret lovers of the most prominent figures of Venice laid to rest, their names forgotten, condemned to silence and oblivion because of their sinful desires?

People nowadays would invent such frivolous tales to escape the monotony of their lives, but all the theories he heard in their minds were so far off, he sometimes would allow a small, sad smile to curve the corner of his mouth. No one was even close to the truth and perhaps that too was okay.

Every year, someone visits the marble chapel, usually to clean and tidy. One day every year there would be different flowers outside and inside. Where white roses and lilies once decorated, branches of lilac now swayed in the gentle wind.

If anyone were curious enough to find out why, they would learn that lilacs represented youthful innocence, but also rebirth and remembrance. Today would be that day in the Year of Our Lord, 2023, but something would change and be different, perhaps only for once, or maybe for eternity.

***

The sunset was beautiful, like always in Venice. The dying sun kissed the water with its last goodbye, coloring it with the shades of orange and pink. Breathtaking many would say, but today Marius was distracted. He wasn’t the artist who always chased beauty and perfection, or the Prime Minister tasked with keeping the brat prince in line -- even if, he had to admit, lately Lestat was behaving splendidly. Oh the power of love and having Louis back by his side really did miracles for him.

No, tonight Marius was just a man, one among many. One who walked the busy streets of the city looking for a small shop, one that was just a hole in the wall, and unlike the others was still open, waiting.

The small bell rang the moment Marius opened and closed the door behind himself. His senses were assaulted by the delicate smell of flowers of different kinds. The old lady behind the counter looked timeless, like the shop. Her face was mapped by wrinkles and her long, white hair spoke of someone who lived a long life and felt too many losses to let it go.

She smiled when she saw Marius.

“Buonasera, Signore. You are back for another year.” She greeted him like Marius was an old friend with whom she shared many secrets, and who could say what they talked about in the long years they had known each other? It didn’t matter they only met once a year, in that very same shop.

“Buonasera Antonia.” He answered in perfect Italian, with a small smile to deliver his words.

“You never change, Marius. It’s good to see you again.”

Marius was the one who taught her English. She had wanted to learn for the business, or at least that was what she told him, and Marius agreed because he was a teacher to the core and it didn’t matter who was in front of him. She had been an eager student, like Bianca had been, in the very same city, centuries before.

“It’s good to see you too, my old friend.”

Many times Marius had thought about taking her into the blood, but he never did, for Antonia was special. She never wanted what Marius had to offer, be that money and wealth, or the dark gift. She knew what he was. She realized it on the third anniversary of their meeting. Three years after her mother died and she took over the shop, as the women in the family had done for generations.

The shop had been in their family for centuries now, and every woman of their bloodline knew the story of how, when the cemetery opened, a gentleman came to them asking for lilacs and only that, becoming their patron and best clients.

Antonia had thought it was just a story, but after three years of seeing Marius entering the shop with the same request, she knew.

“I wish it could be under better circumstances. You are always so sad when you come to me.”

And wasn’t that true? Since the first time Marius had walked into her shop, he had been the saddest person Antonia had ever met. She felt, since the beginning, a connection to this strange man who only wanted lilac as a contrast to the everyday maintenance of the tomb he required, when only white flowers would fill the vases in front of the entrance. No one was ever allowed inside the chapel. Antonia asked only once who was resting there and the answer still hurt her.

“They are always with me, but today I remember the day I’ve lost them.” Marius answered in a somber voice as Antonia prepared twelve bunches of lilacs to give Marius.

“And yet you are different this year. Has something happened?” She asked when Marius wasn’t looking at her, busy signing a check that would cover a year worth of flowers and years in a retirement home, for when she would finally decide to step back and leave the business in her daughter’s hands.

Marius looked at her, just a quick questioning glance. How could she, a mere human, realize he wasn’t feeling himself today? No one, not even the eldest among them, realized the turmoil he felt inside since he woke up. At first Marius thought it was just because of the day. Through the centuries he had felt many emotions on this day, but something inside told him this wasn’t the case.

For hours now he felt a sense of doom, the paralyzing fear of knowing his life was going to be destroyed all over again, turned upside down, and there was nothing he could do. Not all changes are an act of destruction. He reminded himself, and yet he couldn’t remember a single time since the night of the fire in which changes didn’t mean doom in his experience.

“You know you don’t have to give me so much. It’s not -” Antonia’s voice brought him back to reality and he only gave her a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes and a nod of his head. Too little for someone who once again had been an anchor in the storm of his thoughts.

“You take care of my children’s home for me all year long, dear Antonia. You deserve the world for your kindness.”

Marius left in a rush, to hide the red tears pooling in his eyes. Even if she knew what he was, it didn’t mean he wanted to make her uncomfortable. He was already walking the bridge that would take him to the island when he heard her last words.

“I hope, my friend, that your love will come back to you.”

This time a tear escaped the prison of his long lashes.

***

Marius walked among the long rows of graves and tombstones. His light steps did nothing to disturb the quiet of the place and yet he knew he didn’t belong there.

This was a place of peace and rest and his mere presence was an offense to those who rested there. He who denied death herself time and time again. Who walked among humans without being one. Preying upon them as a beast, an abomination to the eyes of Gods he never believed in. He had no place here, as he had no place with humans. He only belonged to the darkness and the Court, where he could be himself, always, save that one day when he belonged to the island.

The path was branded in his memory and even without his powers, Marius would be able to walk it with his eyes closed. The gorgeous building appeared in front of him, majestic and silent, welcoming Marius home. The gate opened, under his mind powers and Marius stepped into the chapel, where only he was allowed.

There, on the walls, the names of his children, carved in the marble, filled with gold. By each name a vase that was filled with lilacs.

Marius brushed his long fingers over every letter. For every name he whispered a single Te amo, fili mi.

There, in the darkness, sheltered by the world in the place of eternal peace where his children rested, Marius cried for everything that was taken from him, for all the love he wished he could have given them during their life, for the way they had been taken from this world by malice and hate.

Marius was many things, but tonight he was just a father. A father of murdered sons, who still lived in his heart since that day. He was the carrier of their memories, the only one who remembered their names and the sound of their voices he was…

“Master, please can I come home? Please Master, allow me to come home.” A beloved voice said and for a moment Marius couldn’t believe his ears, but when he looked up, his eyes still clouded by red tears, there he was, his Amadeo, his dearest Armand. Without a word he opened his arms to welcome him and in a moment, after centuries, he was once again holding the most precious of all creatures. The one he loved above everything else.

If Marius thought he heard giggling voices, like light silver bells, he knew it was because his children were smiling at him from where they were resting now.

END

#Marius de Romanus #Marius de Romanus appreciation week 2023 #de Romanus Coven

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lxvenderhxzehv · 8 months

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(Natalia Dyer) [THE INNOCENT]. Please welcome [AMBER RYAN (SHE/HER)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [25]-year-old [RESIDENT] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [bartender at the Sasquatch]. They are looking for [LOUIS ,BRIANA, AOIFE & ZACH RYAN] their [SIBLINGS] Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

Name: Amber Ryan Nicknames: n/a Age/DOB: 25 28th March, 1998 Gender: cis-Female She/Her Sexual Orientation: Bi curiousPersonality type: The Innocent Relationship status: Single Occupation: Bartender at the SasquatchDestianation: In Town Role: Gatherer Siblings: LOUIS ,BRIANA, AOIFE & ZACH RYAN

Bio:

Being born the youngest Ryan sibling isn't all its cracked up to be. She was born into nothing but chaos. Always having to fight for her place at the dinner table and Learned very quickly that if she didn't speak-up no one would hear her. She saw her older siblings more as parents than she did as siblings especially Aoife. With Zach she always felt like he was way too cool for her just trying to stay out of his way the best she could. Louis and Bri were the two she knew the least, With him leaving after she was born and With Briana leaving when she was only 5 she was left to be raised by Aoife he only popped in so often to visit and even then he was like a stranger to her. To be quite frank she tried to avoid him when we did come to visit.

Her need to be loud and pushy only extended to her siblings. Amber was quite shy amongst her peers. She always did well in school even when things at home were not good with her father being sick and her mother being reduced to a shell of the woman she once knew. Despite all of this Amber still tried to keep the joy among the family. Even without Briana around and leaving after the funeral and Zack living on his own after the paradox. Amber was quite happy living with Aoife though she couldn't help but feel bad that she was stuck to raise them. That the Paradox took that choice away from her That Louis took that choice from her. As for Louis coming back to town Amber was torn. On one hand she under stood his reason for leaving but there was apart of her that always felt like her birth was the final straw for him. That her being born was what drove him away. She resents him for going off to live his life and leaving Aoife to pick of the pieces and take care of her and the other kids. Now he was back trying to be protective and have a say in her life. Which she personally felt he had no right. In typical teenager fashion she was as feisty as they came when it came to Louis however with Aoife she was an angel.

Once school was done Amber had a hard time adjusting to the world outside of academics. She was well rounded but that was only to prepare her for college. Now in a world where that wasn't an option for her anymore. She decided She would try a few different Jobs in town, avoiding her family's hardware store like the plague. Finally Settling at the dive bar in town. While it might not be what she had envisioned for herself she is having fun with it. Never really using her femininity and loud mouth to her advantage like this. The tips were good and the customers were tolerable. If they weren't She would give them what for, She was small but she knew how to throw a punch. Her confidence in herself from working there has grow every day since she started. No one was going to take that from her.

#huntsvilleintro #Musings (Amber)#Face (Amber)#PLEASE let me know if I need to change anything or if I got any bit of the Time line wrong I will fix it ASAP

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alarrytale · 6 months

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and solos wanna say louis is a good dad!?!?!?!?!? he left his "son" to go out and get drunk on nye!!!!

That he did. Good thing he isn't a father then.

You'd think a parent who doesn’t see his child that often would have wanted to spend every single second with them. Make every second count. You'd expect a parent of a 7 year old, flown to the other side of the world to see you for a few days, to stay sober while having sole custody of his kid. You'd think the parent would want to experience the countdown to midnight with his son, seeing the childish joy in his sons eyes watching the fireworks. Children grow so fast and these are precious moments. You'd also think that if he wasn't a father that he'd at least pretend to be interested in being around his son and for him to understand that it would be a bad look to go to the pub and drink while his supposed child is visiting. But then again if the house was filled with Cla*ks for the holidays in order to keep up the scam, a scam he never wanted to be a part of in the first place, i'd also rather be at the pub and get drunk...

Stunting sucks.

#f might have been back in the us for nye #but then you'd expect louis to follow him #the kid is 7 he can't fly that long a distance alone #unless the clark* were in the uk with him (yes)#babygate for ts #it's all so tiresome

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itzurmomdotcom · 2 years

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- Backseat Teases -

Panama City.

Out of all the places to visit they pick Florida? Couldn't we have gone to New York or California?

I'm being picky. I actually love the beach, just not when I have to share a room with him. He's being strangely nice. Or...not entirely a pain in my ass. He's being less of an ass.

Until now.

Niall and Zayn are in the front. Zayn is driving and Nialls dead asleep in the passenger seat with his feet kicked up on the dash. Louis and Liam are in the middle. Liam is in his own world with his nose in a book, and Louis is listening to music on his phone.

Which leaves Harry and I in the backseat...together.

I sit on the far left, legs crossed and my elbow propped against the window with my chin resting in my palm.

Harry sits on the far right. Lying horizontal on the two seats. His arms lay crossed over his chest with his knees propped up. His back leans against his pillow. I watch his face twitch in his sleep as he lays asleep beside me.

Little shit. He decided once we fought through the door to get the backseats that he wanted the middle as well. Which didn't seem fair because he got more room. But also seemed fair because he probably needs it with his long ass legs. He's like a giraffe.

It's a seven hour drive and we're only stopping twice. Which means I get to deal with Nialls snoring and Harry's legs in my face for five more hours. I look out the window, watching the trees and buildings pass by. I hear Harry groan in his sleep, and feel a pair of legs lay on top of my own.

Oh hell no.

If he thinks he's about to take up every ounce of space he wants in the small ass car, he's wrong. I move to shove his legs off me, but he only groans again and shifts slightly down, getting more comfortable. He lays completely stretched out across the whole backseat, the weight of his legs on me practically crushing me.

Okay, maybe that was a tad dramatic. But it is annoying.

Harry lays in a black t shirt, grey sweats and black socks. His shoes kicked off somewhere in the floor board. I attempted again to shove him off but he doesn't budge. I'm about ready to give up, when an idea pops into my head.

I bring my hand to one of his feet, wrapping my hand around the top of his foot and pulling it back to stretch out his soles. My other hand inches forward, my finger lightly scratching down his sole. Immediately, his body responds, his foot scrunching in attempt to pull away. I hold his foot in place. Smirking at his reaction. This'll be fun.

My fingers lightly trail up and down his sole. Harry breathes in sharply, stirring and waking slowly from sleep. His puffy eyes blink open tiredly. I keep a firm grip on this foot and continue teasing his sole. He snickers, his hand reaches to grab mine, but there's no way I'm letting him go now. I've had to put up with his shit for hours, I deserve some payback.

A dazed and confused look on Harry's face tells me he's not adjusting well to being woken up from the dead. He looks exhausted, but my hands continue their work on his big feet.

He's definitely gonna kill me for this later. Either a pillow thrown at my face or a shove off the balcony to my death, or something...guess I'll find out.

Harry is completely awake now, his eyes are currently staring into mine with a hard look. His arms sit propped to hold him up a bit. He doesn't want to give, holding back his reactions so the guys won't hear. He knows I know he couldn't stand that kind of embarrassment. His leg pulls back as he tries to get away again, but I hold him still.

I smirk at him as he holds back his laughter. Glaring at me from across the seat, I watch him mouth, "stop." I shake my head, "never" i mouth back.

I seem to hit a sensitive spot when he coughs a small giggle and falls back against his pillow again, bring his hands up to cover his mouth.

"Y'all good back there?" Zayn asks from the front. A panicked look appears in Harry's eyes and he looks at me from where I'm still scratching his feet. I look back at him, a slow grin appears across my face. Harry shakes his head with an almost pleading look.

I decide to be nice. "All good. Harry's having a dream." I tell Zayn, which seems to satisfy him enough to drop the topic. I pull my attention back to harry, whose still trying to stop himself from giggling. I bring the attention up, targeting the balls of his feet, scratching over his sock. Harry goes wild, I can see his smile peaking from his hand and watch his dimples pierce his rosy cheeks. His eyes squint shut, one hand coming up to grip the seat beside him.

I check to make sure the guys are completely distracted, Louis continues listening to his music, while Liam is now passed out against the window. Harry's body squirms at my soft touches as I continue to tickle him. I lean towards him and whisper into his ear, "having fun yet?" He shakes his head no. "No? What's wrong? Something bothering you?" I smirk down at him while he begins to lose his composure.

"Youho fucker. Stohop" he whispers through soft giggles. I am absolutely loving this. This man has put me through so much. Who knew all I needed to get him back was a little teasing?

"Stop?" I ask, "And risk losing that smile? You seem to be enjoying yourself Harry-"

"I'm NOT" he whispers louder, continuing to refrain from laughing as he squirms below me. "Cut it out! They'll see-" his whispering falters a bit when I hit another sensitive spot under his toes.

I grin evilly, "That's what this is about? You afraid of the guys knowing that big, scary Harry Styles' weakness is a little tickling?"

"Oho my gohohod-" harry loses himself in a fit of laughter, reaching behind him to grab his pillow and shove his face deep in the fabric, muffling his giggles.

The verbal teasing almost seems to affect him more than the actual tickling. It's cute. I lean closer, making sure he can hear me through his pillow. "Aww poor Harry. Cant stand a little teasing, hmm? Is it bad here sweet boy? Does it tickle~" My fingers go back to the balls of his feet, scratching right under his big toe while I whisper. Harry loses it under the pillow, cackling into the fabric, rolling side to side on the backseat. His arms completely wrap around the pillow and shove it harder on his face.

I decide to try a completely different area, moving my hands up under his black shirt. Harry panics, throwing the pillow to the side and gripping onto my wrists to halt the torture. Harry looks up at me with wide eyes, his hair messy and sticking up in different places. His cheeks are tinted a shade of red and his lips are parted as he attempts to catch his breath.

God he's handsome.

"Don't" he whispers through heaving breaths, his eyes look up at me with a begging look.

I smile softly, my fingers begin barely tracing his tummy. A small smile etches onto Harry's face, the corners of his lips tilting upwards, before rolling back into his mouth and his forehead lands on my shoulder. "Bailey" he giggles into my hoodie. My fingers lightly trace up his abs where his butterfly lays permanently sketched into his skin. His body twitches under me, lightly squirming.

The thought of Harry's hands around my wrists makes me realize...he could stop this if he really wanted to. His strength could easily overpower me if he hated it as much as he claims he does. The thought makes me smile more, and I lean down to whisper in his ear in an even softer tone, "You like this"

Harry's laughter halters for a second before shaking his head, "No I don't. Get off" His hands try push mine away but barely. He's hardly trying. He just wants me to think he's too weak to stop this, but I'm barely touching him.

"You like it. It's okay. I won't tell them-" his head shakes on my shoulder.

"I don't like this. You're fucking crazy. I fuckin hate tickling-" he giggles through his words. I pause my fingers and turn my face into the side of his.

"Harry...look at me" I ask gently. I don't want him to feel embarrassed, I want him to know it's okay to like something that he enjoys. I don't want him to think it's weird. His head stays buried into my neck, I can feel his face get hot. Slowly Harry's head reluctantly lifts from my neck and looks down in front of me.

I lean down to try to get his attention, but he refuses eye contact. I gently bring my hands to his face, cupping his jaw and lifting his head so his eyes meet mine. There's a vulnerable look in his eyes, his face is tinted red across his cheeks.

I don't say anything, I just look at him, smiling softly. I try to show him that he doesn't have to be embarrassed, and that his secret is safe with me. Harry's eyes relax and he leans into my hold with a sigh. He falls forward back into my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist. His weight makes me fall back against my own pillow, bringing harry down on top of me. He doesn't seem to care though, he shifts to get more comfortable, slipping his hands up my shirt and squeezing tighter, nestling further into me.

I absorb his body heat and sweet scent, wrapping my arms around his back and under his shirt. My fingers begin to scratch up and down his back. Harry groans into me, seeming to enjoy the soft scratches. I smile and pause my hands, but harry whines and shifts his back, urging me to continue. I laugh softly at his childishness and continue to scratch his soft back and shoulders.

A moan escapes Harry's lips into my neck, "Bailey, please" he begs.

"Please what harry" I ask, not knowing what he wants.

Harry pauses, "I don't know...just don't stop...please" he asks quietly.

I smile down at him, his face lifts to meet mine. Still confused on what it is Harry really wants, I don't have to guess for long, when his head leans forward and his lips meet mine.

#harry styles #tickle art #tickle fluff #tickle fic #tickle tickle #one direction #harry 1d

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mediocre-eternity · 2 years

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It is 8 December 2022

I haven’t really been sleeping in a substantial way. Once in a while the roar of my mind is endless and overrides this apparent supernatural curse to sleep. I envy younger vampires because the call seems to leave them no choice. Daniel is an absolute corpse but his schedule has become more erratic in recent years. Louis loves to sleep as well. Though maybe I have the wrong assumption because my memory of my own sleep when I was younger is so corroded… and I’ve definitely spent time with Lestat well into sunlight hours. I digress. It doesn’t matter. I’m being haunted by dark sided thoughts.

The sight of Daniel in the Blood is, at times, far too much for my mind to bare. This is simultaneous with the knowledge that he is also very, very precious to me. His rarity as an immortal is absolute. I have never met another like Daniel. This understanding is how I know Daniel will become a greater power than that of myself and of my maker. Perhaps that’s the idea that terrifies me the most.

I was thinking back on some months ago, where Daniel had caught himself in a mirror. I think it must have been the first time he recognized himself since his decent to madness. In one of the galleries of Trinity Gate I aligned quite a few mirrors against the walls and some against the big windows and he caught himself in these. He picked at his face for quite some time, moving in all different directions, stunned.

“I just think it’s the first time I thought about it.” He told me. “I’m not dying anymore.”

This realization bludgeoned me and hasn’t left. Coming and going from Florida hasn’t been treacherous but staying at length in New York has. Probably because it was the first city we both settled in and it was the first modern American city I really grew fond of. I can sit right at the edge of our large windows and look out across the never ending skyline with all of it’s rooftops sparkled with their little window lights and remember each and every detail about the nights we spent as vagabonds on the streets below. There is a little carousel of brightly colored fish in The Battery we discovered by accident, or Daniel’s favorite Chinese food restaurant that still exists. We live very close to Coney Island now which was one of Daniel’s favorite places to visit in the city. I haven’t taken him back and strangely, he hasn’t asked. In the spring when the tourists are back I’ll be sure to take him again.

Daniel still hasn’t mastered the Cloud Gift even though his pedigree would suggest he’d be very good at it. I’ve been told that this lacking comes from a mental block and perhaps the trauma he’s past doesn’t allow him to really grasp how. But I am a horrid teacher because I can’t describe how to master it. I just do it. Much like the Mind Gift I’m famed for, it’s an instinct. So instead we’ve sat upon every high rise we’ve fancied.

A cat and mouse game enraptured us a few nights ago and when I thought I had lost him I realized he had stayed right at my back the entire time. Such speed, I mused as I stared at him from the rooftop across from me. There is nothing I can say to describe Daniel’s eyes as they were transfixed on my gaze, like amethysts reflecting light. For some moments I was frozen in terror at the man I thought I’d witness a mortal death and instead becoming the monster that delivered it to him.

His plain expression as he watched me might as well have been that of some old-world angel. Something of a different plane, and a far more powerful being than myself. Then he hopped that roof to mine, his arm circling my waist in an instant and breaking me of my despair for losing the mortal boy I once so worshipped. He is so different now, though maybe he is just coming into his own. His witticisms do remain and his awkward smile but I don’t think Daniel would have been holding me like that before. And he did hold me, smiling, laughing, pressing on my back so my chest crashed against his. The feeling of him taking this control with me was rapturous— I was dazed by his lips descending on my neck. Yes, take, and that was what you were begging me so greedily for when your skin was still warm. I’m only your’s now, and you should take from me all that you desire. Oh, how do I rectify this sorrowful feeling while I’m also begging for him?

When we returned home, our romancing continued but I couldn’t let go of this drastic shift within my lover when I should have been reveling in it. He is so beautiful now, like a jewel. The only evidence of the couple we once were is a deep scar on his right cheekbone, a scar that cannot soften in immortality. A scar that Daniel holds no resentment for.

“He certainly earned it,” Louis had reminded me one night, admitting this softly because he knew my time with Daniel was coming again. We couldn’t recall another in the Blood as voracious and willing as Daniel. He holds no grudges, no complaints, no fears, no resentments… Daniel is immortality in it’s purest form. He is somebody who sold their every freedom to me for it. I may deeply cry for the torment I put his fragile mortal body through, but he thanks me all the same. Even more frustrating is when I beg of him to vilify my naked body, to atone for any sins I may have committed, he admits he’s terrified of hurting me. But what else beside physical pain could distract me?

Moreover, there are only two vampires now that can see me as I am. One is my maker and the other is my fledgeling. Without the link of our minds, I am merely a small and callous creature in the corners of bed chambers. How horrifying to think that Daniel can now know me so completely. The failure of everything that I am so obvious with the silence between us now. In these moments of anguish I lose my ability to speak out loud almost completely and am relegated to watching him from afar. Even so, he fails to find me a revolting boy. Calmly he moves over to me to guide me to where he was sitting and watching the television. He asks me over and over if this was an issue I had, the non speaking, and I wanted to put the very image into his head that why yes, I was in fact… very defective. When I couldn’t answer he stopped asking, wiping my face of any blood tears instead. I wanted to burn him alive for showing me this patience. I wanted Daniel so selfishly and so deeply yet I cannot bear it now that he can be mine forever. Perhaps because I will have to witness him leaving again someday when he is strong enough to explore on his own.

“Boss, we have cellphones.” He reminds me.

#woof #this is a doozy but I had to get it out of me lmao #the vampire armand #the vampire chronicles #tvc #interview with the vampire #iwtv #queen of the damned #devil’s minion #daniel molloy #journal entry

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