#everyone is literally soooo obsessed with me uwu

[widevibratobitch]

making a special little folder for the screenshots of vagueposts about me <333

[rj-s]

As If It’s Your Last

Reader x Yeji

Requested by anon

Genre: fluff, high school au, friends to lovers

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Hi I’m so sowwy this took so long. It’s currently four in the morning and this is quite long compared to my previous ones. But I really liked this one uwu. Me did got into kpop because of AIIYL soooo yeahhh. Again, I didn’t really got into the high school part? I hope you still like it tho. Thank you for requesting!

22 Jun 2017

It was just an ordinary school day, doing English in maths, chit-chatting in VA, and sneaking phone out in Science. Yes, very typical.

Your friend, Chaeryeong decided to bring you to her dance studio after school. You were never really into Kpop. You were more like a "Twinkie" who seems intimidating to others. However, you and Chaeryeong knew each other since forever, she knew the real you.

Sometimes, she felt like you just hanging out with her and her sisters is not enough. She wanted you to have more friends and join more activities but you just said it's fine. She was hoping bringing you to the studio will help.

Entering the studio, you sat down at the back.

"You're not going to join?"

You looked up at her. "Nah... I can't..."

"Well, okay. I hope you will change your mind though..."

"괜찮아..." (It's okay...)

She nodded and went to warm up.

You started scrolling your phone until you heard footsteps, and you looked up. A cat-eyed girl ran in, hands on her knees, breathing heavily.

"Hi... I... I'm sorry I'm... late-"

She looked at you and froze, with her eyes wide open. You started to worry, 'Is there something on my face? Do I know her? Oh my God-' Your thoughts were cut out by your best friend, "Oh right, Y/N, this is Yeji unni, she is from school. And Yeji unni, you know Y/N." She said with a smirk, the cat-eyed girl started to blush and looked away.

'Oh, she is from school.' You thought.

You caught her staring at you a few times through the mirror's reflection, she looked away quickly.

'Cute' You thought.

They started the practice when Chaeryeong's sister, Chaeyeon finally arrived. It was not the first time you see the Lee sisters dance, but Yeji, she is something else. The way she looked at you through the mirror when she was dancing gave you chills. It's like her glances can kill.

'Oh wow.'

When the practice ended, the four of you stayed because the Lee sisters suggested a get-to-know-each-other-more gathering. Well, they ordered chicken, you can't say no to chicken.

As you guys were waiting for the food, Chaeyeon suddenly pulled her phone out, "Have you guys listened to the latest Blackpink song yet?" 'Blackpink? As in black and pink???' The three of you said no. She signed and played the mv. It was like just Kpop at first, but when you listen to it the second time, you started to get addicted. The Lee sisters knew you way too much, "Y/N si, do you wanna learn the dance?"

"What- No-"

"We saw you nodding your head to the music, also the rap part!"

It's not a secret that you like raps but the girl with bangs just did so well and you're obsessed already.

"Come onnnnnnnnnnnn, you love to danceeeee."

Chaeyeon said and Chaeryeong pulled you up. Even though you acted like you didn't want it, you were glad your friends knew you that well. All of you picked your parts and started to learn the dance.

Chaeyeon saw you were struggling and got behind you to help you with the moves. Little did you know, someone was watching the both of you.

"Ohhhhh, okay. I got it now, Chaeyeon unni. Thank you."

"It's okay, haha." She said as she petted your head before hugging you.

Yeji watched with a pout, "Are you jealous, unni?" Chaeryoung teased. "Wha- No-" The cat-eyed girl got flustered again. Was it love at first sight? No. You were the "Twinkie" of the school which amazed her, you and the Lee sisters are best friends, it's hard not to notice you.

"They look good together..." She mumbled.

"THE FOOD IS HERE!!!" Chaeyeon screamed.

"Yah, unni! We're just right here." You said as you rub your ears.

"Awe, I'm sorry, my poor baby." She said as she hugged you and kissed you on your forehead.

Yeji pouted again, not knowing how to react. She wanted to get out of here and cry, but she can't. It'd be weird, and she wanted to get to know you. Maybe not as a love interest, but at least being friends would be nice. She held herself together and sat down on the floor with you all and ate.

7 Aug 2017

Three had turned to four, now that Yeji knew that you and Chaeyeon are just good friends made her relieved. You four hanged out even during summer, and Yeji finally dared to ask you to hang out with her, just the two of you.

"So."

"Yeah?"

"Where are we going?"

"Oh right, sorry haha. We're going to the carnival!"

"Wait, really?" You've been talking nonstop about the carnival but the Lee sisters were just too busy to get there with you while Yeji wanted to impress you by showing you that she did listen.

She nodded.

"OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU!" You screamed as you threw yourself onto her to gave her the best hug she's ever received. She hugged back softly, cherishing every second of it.

24 Dec 2017

You and Yeji had grown extremely close in the past few months. The Lee sisters had been teasing the two of you being wives as you two weren't separated from each other.

"I think I'm losing my best friend to Yeji unni..." Chaeryeong said dramatically while having a hand on her chest, faking a pain. "I'm losing my baby too! Oh, this is so sad!" Chaeyeon said as they pretended to cry together.

"You guys... We're literally just here..." You said as you held Yeji closer.

"And you two are cuddling in our living room!"

"It's cold, and she is soft," Yeji said as she snuggled into you more.

"Get a room already!"

'These two... Aish...' Well, you love your best friends. Even when they tease you.

With all the teasing, this had made you wonder what would it be like if you two are actually something. It would be... Nice? It's quite hard to picture as you've never imagined anything like that. A few months ago, she was just the shy girl you didn't know, and now, she's one of your best friends that you're cuddling with on Christmas Eve.

"What are you thinking?" She asked and you snapped out of your thoughts.

"Nothing just got distracted."

"Awe, okay."

You wondered why she was so shy the first time you met her. And was she... Blushing? But that also brought you back to how she dances. How her body moved so smoothly, and those glances. They're just wow.

Was it love at first sight? Probably not, but you definitely had a little crush on her when you saw her dance.

These thoughts kept you up all night, wondering what would it be to date your best friend, holding hands, cuddling, and going out, as a couple.

5 May 2018

It was the game season, Yeji invited you three to the game. You've never watched her play before so you were very excited. On the other hand, she was as nervous as hell. She wanted to impress you but she also didn't want it to be too obvious.

"You're gonna do great, I just know." You said to her with a smile before hugging her.

She really needed that kind of support at that moment, from her "future" lover.

"Y/N..."

"Hm?"

"Can I get something if I am the MVP of the season?"

"Sure, is there something in particular that you want?"

"Yeah, but I will tell you once I am the MVP."

She's always so determined, and you love that about her. It's one of her charms.

"Mhm, okay. Well, good luck!" You gave her a peck on the cheeks, not thinking about her awkwardness.

The cool air hit the baseball player's face yet her cheeks were still burning. 'But no, Yeji. You have to get your head in the game.' She thought to herself.

17 Oct 2018

The day before the last game. She was practising hard. Seeing her so serious always amazed you in all the ways. You decided to bring her lunch as she probably forgot to eat due to being so focused on practising.

"Hey there, champ."

She stopped and looked at you with a smile. That smile you adore. So pure and just pure happiness to see you.

"Hey!" She said as she wiped her sweats away.

"I brought lunch!"

"Ah, this is why I love you more than the Lees."

It's not like they don't bring her lunches during practice. It's just someone who has a favourite.

18 Oct 2018

It's the final game. Yeji tried her best to get as much point as possible. And her posture looked so good. Seeing her efforts really impressed you. You also started to wonder what was that something she wanted.

"Hwang Yeji! Hwang Yeji!"

"SHE WONNNNN Y/N!!!" Chaeyeon screamed.

You waved happily to her and she waved back.

You guys met at the changing room after everyone was gone.

"So, unni. What was that something you want? Is it a shirt? Or you want me to treat you-"

"You." She stopped you.

"It's always been you. I just want to hold you and kiss you as my girlfriend. I'm in love with you, Y/N."

Oh... That's why she acted so awkward sometimes...

"I mean I get it if you don't feel the same, but like I can't hold this any longer. Before actually knowing you, you were this cool kid that everyone secretly admired. But after knowing you, you actually have a soft side. A loving side. You're so much more than just your looks. I am so in love with you..."

"Yeji... I think I'm in love with you too... I love how you put so many efforts into everything. I love your smile and your eyes. I adore them."

She looked down after hearing that.

"Please never hide your eyes, I know how you feel insecure about them, but they're so pretty, so unique, so... You. You're you and I love you for that..." The two of you stared into each others' eyes, slowly lent in. When your lips touched, there were like fireworks inside your stomach. Your heart was skipping like crazy.

The kiss was soft. You pulled away and rest your foreheads against each others'. You both closed your eyes with a smile, just enjoying each others' company. Until one of you finally decided to break the silence.

"So... Y/N..."

"Yes... Unni?"

"Do you... Wanna maybe go out with me?"

"Of course I do!"

You hugged her tightly and she hugged you back. You still didn't let go for a while. "Y/N? Are you okay?" "Mhm" "We've been in this position for a while now." "I know." You held her as if it's your last.

[anothertimdrakestan]

For the ship, 5'4 f, I enjoy reading, sewing,. crochet, cooking and videos games. Im into horror, but don't really get scared by it. Im a bit of a bitch and antisocial at first but warm up to people. Zero alcohol tolerance [like 1 beer is my limit] vegan. Seasonal depression and mild chronic pain. Corny af jokes. Puns for days

okay HEAR ME OUT: gar logan!

- kind of a opposites attract moment

- he's the bright, bubbly, antsy puppy and your the sweet, quiet, brutally honest person and you complete each other

- if you're watching horror movies gar is burried in your embrace absolutley terrified while you comfort him between giggles

- you guys would totally play video games together and eat vegan pizza

- he's vegetarian so you'd both get along perfectly!

- he cant cook for shit so he'd be so thankful you like to cook and actual make meals he can enjoy, he's always taking photos and posting them of all your creations- you're number one hype squad!

- your guys humor would be so so so funny, terrible puns and dad jokes that make everyone else cringe but you guys double over laughing at each other

- when the seasonal depression hits you can expect cuddles from a variety of big cats, dogs, bears, or anything else fuzzy and warm for your snuggling delight

- you guys would be such chaotic drunks oh my gosh

- "oh my god that guy is soooo cute someone should get me his number!" "y/n that's gar your fucking boyfriend" "SHUT UP HES COMING OVER"

- "hey cutie think i could get your number" everyone: "YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY DATING AND HAVE BEEN OH MY GOSH GO TO BED"

- gar has enough extrovertedness for the both of you combined 😂 i bet he crushed on you for months and flirted with you like a dork until you realized you missed his dorkiness more than anyone else and finally got together uwu

y'all are too cute i'm so obsessed w this ship! hope u like it :)))

[foolishlovebugbaby]

skz’s reaction to their s/o having plump lips

requested by @0leelina0​! thanks for sending this in, i felt so giddy writing it ehe i hope you like it!

side note: i don’t know what to do with myself anymore i-

bang chan

i feel like he’d absolutely love his s/o having plump lips

like at first he wouldn’t pay attention to your lips much (because let’s face it, he’d be too infatuated with the entirety of your face to just focus on your lips)

but the more you both got to know each other, the more he’d find himself staring at your lips whenever you spoke

he just loves watching them move 

and it makes him absolutely weak in the knees whenever you kiss him on the cheek or just anywhere on his skin

and don’t get me started on how much he’d love to kiss them

he swears up and down he could makeout with you for an entire day

and he always tries to do so

“No, just a few more minutes,” He’d mumble against your lips as you attempted to pull away.

“Channie, I literally cannot breathe anymore.” You let out an airy laugh and he leaves a soft peck on your lips.

“That sounds like a you problem.”

Nsfw: he’s definitely into the whole lip-biting thing 

and you giving him neck kisses is his biggest turn on omygod

lee know

minho knows that he’s got the prettiest lips on planet earth

but when he met you, he realised that although he may have the best lips on earth, you’ve got the best lips in the entire universe

a hard fact to accept, but my guy was too whipped for you to let it get to him

he’d absolutely love taking kissy face selfies with you 

you both would make kissy faces at each other so often that it became second nature rather than an inside joke lmao

the first time you kissed his cheek, he swore he had died and gone to heaven and that an angel kissed him to wake him up

but then a cheek kiss turned into a lip one and there was no going back

he’d be obsessed with leaving lingering kisses on your lips, very slow and intimate yet firm

and sometimes he’d prefer it that way over intense, passionate ones

sometimes

because let me tell you, this man is k i n k y

Nsfw: definitely a lip biter like chan, and he’d savour each and every moment of your lips on his skin

“My lips are ten times bigger now than when we first started,” you chuckle in disbelief at your swollen lips

“Oopsies.” Minho says as he hugs you from the back, a smug and cheeky eye smile plastered all over his face.

changbin

your lips are definitely the first thing he notices when he meets you

he can’t help but stare; they’re so eye catching and pretty and god, his mind already wonders what it would be like to kiss them

just like himself, you have a habit of licking and biting your lips 

whether it be out of nervousness or pure habit

but he finds it so endearing and attractive that he finds himself mimicking your actions every time you do so

he finds it incredibly sexy whenever you bite your lips

like, heart-stoppingly sexy

and he loves to run his thumb over your bottom lip whenever your face is in his hands

and leaving random, quick pecks on them whenever he has the chance

“We’re in public silly,” You jokingly scold him as he wraps his arms around your waist and peppers your lips with feathery kisses.

“I can’t help it, you’re too addicting.”

but when you two are alone, it’s a whole other story

Nsfw: he l o v e s to suck on your bottom lip when you both are making out

like, just the feeling of your lip between his all soft and plump makes his blood rush in ways that words can’t even describe

and running his tongue over your bottom lip makes him all woozy and delirious ugh

case in point: every makeout session is a steamy one.

hyunjin

hyunjin met his match the moment he laid eyes on your lips

like, he still can’t believe that someone could rival his full lips

but alas

even when you two started dating, he still remained humorously competitive about it

he’d go around asking his members which one of you had the better lips in the relationship

and everyone found it absolutely hilarious that he still wouldn’t let it go

being the weirdo he is, he has tons of photos of your lips in his camera roll

he tries to justify it by saying they’re for comparison when he makes other people choose who’s is better, but the reality is he just loves to stare at them when he misses you

what a sweet weirdo

“I got the most votes this time, pay up.” Hyunjin says smugly, puckering his lips for a victory kiss and you roll your eyes at his foolishness.

“I’m winning next time though,” You say and kiss him tenderly.

“I really don’t mind if the price to pay is kissing you.” He says sweetly when you pull away.

Nsfw: he seems like the kinky type, but i actually see him as more of a sweet, tender kisser rather than an intense one

intimate, long kisses just gets him going man what can i do

han

han loves to stare at your lips when you talk

he just finds them so captivating that it puts him in a trance

at first you thought he found your lips weird because his eyes were always trained on them

but then he revealed that it was only because he was smitten with the way you smiled and moved your lips

the amount of lyrics he’s written about your lips and how magical they are alone is either alarming or charming, but you’re not complaining

often times when you both are cuddling and just enjoying each others’ presence, he’d trace his finger around the contours of your lips 

he finds everything about the way they’re shaped perfect and complimentary to the rest of your features, and he doesn’t keep his thoughts to himself

mans so whipped i love him

Nsfw: like changbin, he loves to suck on your bottom lip and tug on it playfully

especially when he’s ~in the mood~

but he also really enjoys long and firm kisses, minus all the tongue and antics because he just wants to pour all of his love for you into each kiss 

“You drive me insane, you know that?” Han says with half-lidded eyes as you both pull away to catch your breaths.

“Does this mean i have better lips than Minho?” You say playfully.

“Oh shut up and kiss me you dork.”

felix

felix is just so sweet and precious that he’d be fixated on every single feature of yours 

one week he’d focus on complimenting your eyes

the next your nose

but when he reached your lips???

he would not be able to shut up about them

he’d find them sosososos charming and would try and force you to make kissy faces at him just so that he can swiftly go to peck them and catch you by surprise

such a cheeky boi

he’d find kissing you so comforting and warm and just the epitome of tenderness, it makes him feel so calm and sound

“Each kiss feels just like the first.” He said just above a whisper against your lips.

“That’s funny, this is like the billionth kiss of the week.” You chuckle and he laughs only to bring you back in for another.

Nsfw: i’m here to retract all soft uwu’s because lee felix, 5 minutes into a makeout, can and will turn into an absolute beast

he’d be soooo into lip biting and just playing with your mouth with his own 

and he’d be so passionate each time and ahodhofh i’m sorry i dont make the rules

seungmin

ohmygosh my sweet baby

he’s so precious that he would blush every time you’d catch him staring at your lips

even when you both started dating he’d still get all shy and red whenever you’d leave a kiss on his cheek or forehead or eyelids

but he absolutely loves it when you do so

he’s a sucker for affection, and your plump lips kissing all over his face would just make all the love feel even more amplified

he loves giving you short, sweet pecks out of the blue and seeing you blush sweetly whenever he does so makes him all giddy

and he’s always finding excuses to kiss you

“You’ve got some ice cream right,” He leans in close to your lips, “Here.” In a second his lips are on yours, his tongue sweeping over your bottom lip, and your whole face flushes. 

“You could’ve just used a tissue.”

“Our climate is collapsing and you want to waste tissue? Could never be me.”

Nsfw: yall hear sumn?

i.n

he’s literally still in the womb what do i say

our sweet baby would not know what to do with himself when he starts being infatuated with you, let alone when he realises how charming your features are

he’d be so giddy and giggly around you

fooling around, squishing your lips between his fingers

and whenever your kiss him on the cheek, he would need an entire 10 minutes just to recover from it

don’t even get me started on a first kiss

like he’d honestly think he could die happy with the feeling of your pillowy lips on his

he’d be so gentle and happy with you and would always leave feathery kisses around your lips and on your cheeks 

“S-stop, that tickles Jeongin,” You giggle while he peppers kisses around the corners of your mouth and on your jaw. 

“Whoops,” He says cheekily and leaves a chaste kiss on your lips.

Nsfw: page does not exist

woojin

woojin would be such a gentleman that he’d remind you everyday of how beautiful every part of you is

your lips were never an insecurity but they weren’t your favorite feature either

but that all changed when woojin showed you so much tender love and care

he’s such a sweetheart man

he’d love to help you put on lipliner and lipstick just for fun because it ‘reminds me of art class’

“Kim Woojin, you overdrew my lips too much and now I look like a clown!” You scold him, red lipliner smudged all around your chin as you attempted to wipe it off.

“Well I think you look cute.” He says matter-of-factly, grabs your face and kisses you sweetly.

Whenever you’d fall asleep on his lap he’d leave tender kisses on our lips and just admire every inch of your face 

im cryin i miss him

Nsfw: when mans is in the mood, mans is in the mood

kissing is his favorite form of foreplay hands down and would be so passionate and sometimes rough 

but hey ain’t nobody complainin bout that

[modern-oedipus]

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood*  It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years.  50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af.  On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!) 

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE.  - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe. 

[theyearofrisinglight]

So as I have referenced on two other posts on here, I have been reading the works of Gabriel García Márquez this month to commemorate his 6th death anniversary but I'm v obsessed with The Witcher, too, so I couldn't stop seeing some parallels with some Witcher characters and Gabo's characters and the most glaring one is Dandelion *snort* For real, as I was reading Chronicle of a Death Foretold I couldn't stop thinking that what happened to Santiago Nasar would've end up being Jask's destiny had Geralt not been his babysitter. Jask would've definitely been m worded by the brothers of some peasant girl he had "deflowered", the same way the Vicario twins did Santiago Nasar, except Dandelion would have actually deserved it. (Santiago is iffy but he, too, was a sexual harasser soooo)

But the real point of this post is to say that yeah, Dandelion lives in my head rent free but it's all the show stans damn fault. They have created this alter ego that's somehow worse than the real Dandelion lmao Honestly, sometimes I feel like being in one of those creepy abusive boyfriend movies where the guy makes his girlfriend's life a living hell in private but in public everyone sees A Saint™ who can do no wrong and THEY'RE the victims of this cruel, cruel world and its people, and the girl and maybe a few other people know who he really is but the vocal others drown them out. It's so maddening! Like I said before on here, Dandelion is a character who has no growth, no journey, he ends up practically the same way he began. And you know what that's ok. Not every character has to have some deep character journey, it's not necessary. And you can stan such character of course, but to say HE IS A MAIN CHARACTER?!?! LMAOooo waht?? No.

Not to mention, I really do think that the show not fully showing how horrible of a man Dandelion can be was a A Mistake, but it's not too late to add that shit in s2. It is a fact he gets poor peasant girls pregnant and has to run tf away from towns with the tail between his legs bc their brothers want to make him marry them or murder him or both. It's a fact he's a womanizer who doesn't respect anyone's relationship status. It's a fact he's a narcissist. And immature. And reckless. And selfish. And has delusions of grandeur. And depending on how you interpret the text above, miGHT even be a sexual abuser of a disabled girl(!!!) (And I do think it was Dandelion bc knowing how Mr. Sapko writes, he wouldn't have emphasized she was grinning if it had been anyone else but Dandelion, this shit is for the giggles apparently.) So I have my reasons not to like the guy, but wait there's more.

So you see, this is the “A Little Sacrifice” short story, following this passage, a dude offers Dandelion a gig to play at his daughter's betrothal but he gets offended when the guy tells him there'll be another bard so he'll have to share the stage. He's ready to tell the guy to fuck off but Geralt literally has to beg and coax him to accept the gig and to be a little humble bc they are starving and his last job went unpaid and thanks to the shit he caused with the Rangers they are broke asf.

Which brings me to this Thing I thought about the other day and that it doesn't get out of my head. It's a hot ass take, and I don't expect to be right, but bear with me. So y'all know how Dandelion is a rich dude with castles to his name and shit but is going incognito with a fake bard name bc he's hiding from Anarietta's duke husband who's sentenced him to death for fxcking his wife, right? And that's why he meets Geralt and not only does he see profit from going around from town to town with A Witcher, but none other than the White Wolf himself, the Butcher of Blaviken. So he chooses him as his personal bodyguard and Geralt, after years on the Path being all alone and hated by the very people who require his work to free them of “pests”, forms a sort of opportunistic friendship with him, too. He becomes the funny weird sexist bard's protector in exchange of the bard's company, as annoying as it turns out to be. And even as Geralt treats Dandelion with real contempt sometimes (but Dandelion responds with the same measure), he knows he won't leave bc he can't survive without him. So that makes Geralt a bit of an asshole, right? 

Wrong. You see, Geralt doesn't know who Dandelion really is until The Tower of Swallows and he's shocked! to learn this man is rich asf!! Which going back to this whole money thing, Geralt supported Dandelion for YEARS out of his own pocket, shared his food and lodging with him, and Dandelion never once made an effort to contact his treasurers or whatever when things were tight to get some cash and help out his friend. I know, he was supposed to be on the down low but there are ways idk!! And from this dynamic, it seems that it's always Geralt who pays for the food and lodging and other important stuff with HIS coins, bc if Dandelion earns some from his singing he always spends it in brothels, gambling, and buying shit for his personal appearance. Dandelion, was literally a leech living off Geralt 😭

Tl;Dr in other fucking words, y'alls uwu unproblematic soft baby Jask is a selfish, sexist, deadbeat dad, hot mess of a man and a horrible friend nine times out of ten. Also he's NOT a main fucking character gtfo

[serenagaywaterford]

It’s fucking crazy how in a show meant to wake the general populace up, people really do seem to hate majority of the female characters. Note it’s only the complex ones, because god forbid Margret Atwood wrote them as shades of grey and not as definitively “evil” or “good”.

I’ve been in quite a few shitty fandoms in my day but I’m not certain I’ve been in one quite as overwhelmingly tone deaf as The Handmaid’s Tale fandom. I have never seen so much hypocrisy and virtue signalling and fake wokeness in a singular fandom with source material (in terms of the original novel and S1/2 at least) that directly opposes those things. Like I was in GoT fandom for a while and holy shit the misogyny there. So, I know what it looks like. But the thing about that hellplace was that there was still a fairly recognisable and approachable faction that loudly and actively spoke out about the sheer number of issues with GoT (racism, misogyny, etc.) I feel like those people gave up on the show about mid-run, and GoT was left with a bunch of idiots and “libfems” by the end.

The thing about THT is that it appears to be 95% idiots and fake-woke “feminists” I put it in quotes cos they are NOT feminists. They just like to identify as that cos it’s trendy. They have no idea what feminism is if they centre Nick in the THT narrative, or refuse to engage with any female character other than June or Emily in any rational way and instead wish rape, violence, torture, death, and/or intense suffering on any female character (or apparently actor who plays said character!) they personally dislike because they don’t have the braincells to understand what Atwood specifically was trying to do.)

When THT becomes all about a MALE and his precious fweelings, and his uwu luv stowwy wiv Jwune and all they focus on is how “cool” June is for bullying other Handmaids into suicide, and how “awesome” she is for being 1000% selfish and self-absorbed and not caring at all about all the other women (esp. poor women of colour) she tramples on to get what she wants, that is NOT GOOD. This is a character who purposely and actively manipulated a domestic abuse victim to go back to her abusive, violent, cheater, rapist husband for June’s own ends. (And surprise, surprise that blew up in her face and people really take June’s side 100% on that cos “Serena deserves Fred” aka “Serena deserves to be beaten, raped, and abused by her husband because she’s a bad woman who has done bad things herself”. When you are saying a woman, no matter who they are, deserves to be beaten and raped and imprisoned in that situation, you are not a feminist because that isn’t justice for Serena’s crimes. That is torture.) Nothing June did in S3 was heroic. She is almost no better than the woman she hates at this point. I see very little difference between June and Serena anymore, and yet… YET fans think the sun shines out of June’s ass and Serena should be raped to death (aka “Wouldn’t it be soooo cool if Serena became a Handmaid?! Omg so cool! She deserves it! Hurr durr I am FEMINIST!!!!”).

O.o

There is zero nuance in THT fandom. It’s fine to dislike female characters. It’s fine to be critical of them. It’s fine to like male characters (I guess…). But centring men in a woman’s story and then parroting Gilead’s ideals unironically while calling yourself woke? It’s terrifying. 

June is so gross in S3, and when she isn’t being awful, she’s written as some child-crazed, hysterical woman. The writers’ full sexism and internalized (or externalized lol) misogyny on clear display. And the fans just LAP IT UP with no critical thought. No complaint. Like, “Yes, this is what a woman should be!” nevermind the entire purpose of the commentary in the novel (and S1) was that women are MORE than just hysterical, overly emotional baby-machines or housekeepers. Women are not mere resources to be harvested like cattle. Women have more personality than just “ME WANT BABBY!!!” Women are resourceful and complex and not all good, not all bad. Women are conflicted and conflicting. Meanwhile, now the show presents women almost identically to how Serena Joy wrote about them, and how Gilead has identified them, and the fans are like “Yeah! This is fine! I don’t see any problems with this at all!”

And if you dare say, “Um, guys, that’s a pretty bad take. Do you understand what you’re actually saying?” you get called a “rape apologist!!! HURRRR!!!! WHAT ABUT 2x10!!!!!” And it literally doesn’t matter what you challenge these fans about, whether it’s Nick, the themes of THT, Serena, June, etc. They see you are a fan of Serena and suddenly the discourse deteriorates completely to “Nazi!!!! you’re a rapist nazi sympathizer!!!!!!!!!” 

So, there’s no point in talking to any of them. Yeah, cos I’m the one saying women I don’t like deserve to be raped and beaten until they die as slaves in an oppressive fascist regime. (That’s actually you guys, jsyk.) My favourite was being compared to an MRA. Like, do you people even read what you write? 

I’m not the one talking non-stop about how great Mr. Soggy Pancake Man is and how we must protect this precious bean in a story about massive female oppression uwu. “BUT WHAT ABOUT NICK?!?! MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER!!!” I hate men, lol. I can’t count the number of times I’ve literally said, “I don’t give a shit about ANY of the men in THT. I only care about women and you people are misogynistic pigs for the way you talk about women.” yet I’m a Men’s Rights Activist?

What I hear when I go into the tags: 

“All women are awful harpies and stupid or boring except this specific one cos we want her to bone the Cute Boy we’re obsessed with and she’s just basically a self-insert for our own lonely fantasies and we need to only hear about the Cute Boy, not these annoying women. If a woman character interferes or challenges my heterosexual fantasy OTP in any way, that woman must suffer and die, and I’ll laugh and cheer as that happens, especially if she’s beaten by her husband or loses her mind/commits suicide! They deserve it! Also, who really cares about all those other women’s stories elsewhere in the world. BORING! My white saviour self-insert main female character can do no wrong because I am perfect! I’ll even go out of my way and actively search out people who aren’t doing anything to me, aren’t talking to me at all and just keeping to themselves, and send online threats, hate, and insults to anybody who doesn’t agree with me about how great Mr. Stale Bread is and they’re Nazis for not agreeing with me.” 

And I’M the MRA? I’m the crazy one?

No self-awareness at all. No nuance. No critical thinking skills. And a HELL of a lot of projection that they don’t even seem to know they’re making. There are grown ass women (like 40 YEAR OLDS!) who worship Nick Bland’s ugly dick, online bullying literal minors who don’t subscribe to the Serena-Hate groupthink. It’s a cesspool. THT fandom fucking SUCKS. I’m gonna guess it’s these same morons who wished that Yvonne would lose her baby cos you hate SERENA. Like, if you don’t think this is disgusting, I don’t know how else to get it through to you that something is VERY WRONG with the vast majority of online THT fandom.

99% of this fandom doesn’t seem to give a fuck what Atwood was trying to say in her novel, or what the show intentionally set out to do challenge and prove. Anyway, anon. I feel ya. I hate this fandom which is why I never check the tags anymore, never go on Twitter, unfollowed the Insta, don’t go on FB, and stick with my very wonderful small group of non-crazies who also appreciate the complex, difficult character of Serena here – and block everyone else I can because I just don’t have time for that kind of constant drama and aggravation from ignorant people.

Wow. Okay. Sorry. Rant over.

[springblush]

♡ song tag ♡

rules~ list 10 songs you’re currently obsessed w/ & tag 10 people ♡   hey i was tagged like 5 million years ago when i was less active by my wonderful @wonboowoo y’know that i love you lots?? well i’ll say it again, 

♡ i ♡ l o v e ♡ y o u ♡ ok but im actually kinda hyped to do this cuz im really into music in general so.....watch out for full on music reviews lmao

in no particular order

1. fromis_9 - dkdk ♡

ok just.....everyone let’s take a moment to appreciate girl groups who do cute concepts....like listen to the absolute perfectness in this song, its cutesy but not to overboard and it makes me hella nostalgic bc it reminds me of the music i used to listened to and it makes me super happy!! cute concepts in kpop deserve all the love and attention, especially in girl groups (they work really really hard) 

2. loona haseul - let me in ♡

g u y s loona is so underrated its sad :( i personally did not like loona at first (aT FIRST) buuuuuut the talent! in every single member! god made girls as talented and beautiful as loona to make sure that they could bless this earth...i have this one preference to the song bc it sounds so royal and with the orchestra and the last chorus... p u r e  t a l e n t (also give a listen to some of my other fav solos: kiss later - yeojin, vivid - heejin, singing in the rain - jinsoul, and around you - hyunjin)

3. wanna one - light ♡

guys,,,,wanna one is just amazing go listen to all of their songs they’re kings,,,i chose this song bc i’m pretty sure this is my fav wanna one title track of all time, and it’s so well made and catchy and it sounds so so os os soo so os s o good and y’know wanna one just always has my heart~~ other recs: i.p.u. (i promise you), energetic, boomerang, wanna be (my baby) all of these songs in general are happy upbeat songs however i’ve cried to all of them,,,stanning wanna one makes me sad T^T

4. ahn hyeonseop & lee euiwoong - it’ll be good ♡

ok this is a purely uwu song like its so good?? they are such talented baby bois and they deserve all of the love in the world pls,,, this gives me major nostalgia, mostly bc at the time, i did some major projects and worked while listening to this,,, again a lot of pd 101 trainees have debuted and deserve attention and support sooo here are some other songs i thought were good by the pd 101 boys! my flower - jbj, rainz - juliette, nu’est w - deja vu, just u -jeong sewoon, the.the.the. - shihyun and longguo, jelly - hotshot

5. yoo seonho - your song ♡

alright yes i listen to a LOT of cutesy songs but srsly,, this one hit home in my heart like ugh seonho is super cute and talented and he’s improving so so much!! i love him so much and i cant wait until he comesback (maybe even with guanlin)!! anyways stan yoo seonho,, he has lots of potential and is very cute!!

6.  mxm - diamond girl ♡

wah,, the vibe of this song is so good?? its very retro, very funky but also, very mxm,, its also super aesthetically pleasing and nice to listen to,, they’re already rookie monsters and are super popular and dONGHYUN!! he deserves all of the love and our very cute alpaca!! youngmin is also a very talented rapper pls go support our bnm kings~ (also bazzi and anne marie reacted to this song and said it was good,,,, i love royalty stanning royalty)

7. a.c.e. - take me higher  ♡ 

wow guys pls go take a look at this song, its like the bop of the summer, especiALLY THE BRIDGE OH THE BRIDGE OF THE SONG IS SO GOOD,,, the breakdown is so well done i was shaking when i heard the song,, also the concept is gold, a very bright and gorgeous mv,, with boys,,, in crop tops :^),, anyways check it out!! they deserve more recognition!

8. the boyz - keeper  ♡

uhhhh bop of the summer?? cutest song in the world?? yes??? pls pls pls go and do me a favor: stan the boyz. this is like the cutest song ever g u y s im not even kidding when i say im whipped for them,,, and like, the choreo?? pls give me some live stages bc i am in love with the freaking choreo its so cute and really cool,,, and also i was like biaswrecked collectively by the boyz in the span of 3 minutes soooo yeah!! i love them so much :/

9.  gugudan’s semina - semina  ♡

the og pd 101 s1 team!! yes! its the girls that stole all of our hearts with that first audition on pd 101 and they got all As! now they debuted with a very fun, sassy, and bright song that highlights vocals and rap! the mv is super cool and pretty, as expected of gugudan,, i love mina and sejeong and nayoung, this was jellyfish’s best decision yet,, anyways im literally obssessed with this song, pls give them your support!!

10. yang da il x wendy - one summer  ♡

maybe this is the song of the summer,,, hmmmm,,, this is a very chill, nice, relaxing song that basically sums up a very nice and calm summer day,, the vibes are really nice and i gotta talk about my bOI WOOJIN ACTOR WOOJIN YALL IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE ASDFJOFSIOI the vocals are also amazing so overall a great song!!

ughhh this took so long im so sorry bUT! im tagging all, i said aLL OF MY MUTUALS every single one of you aS WELL AS THE PEOPLE I TALK TO,,, if you’ve already done it,, do iT AGAIN COWARDS

@taeyoming @playfuldisaster @m0onbean @mlmchan @tojaehyun @majinstic @runjen @softlyjungwoo @wonboowoo @jeno-screaming @godrics @myday6ix @renjunchokingnct @onegoldenbranch @ongnable @ongsung @najaeminclub @kimdoyoungclub @rcnjun @godtierjeno @whiplashlive @chittafont

oOF THAT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE ok everyone i love you so so much have an amazing day today and an even better one tomorrow! get some sleep, eat well, hydrate dont diedrate, rest up, and take care of yourselves for me!! love youuu~