#everyone is so layered and has so many tiny relationships it makes me CRAZY

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

I think the thing that's fueling my Dead Boy Detectives fic series is that almost every major character has had some sort of interesting/unhinged interaction with every other main character. Like beyond the incredibly interesting/fleshed-out relationships between the main four detectives we have examples like:

1) Cat King and Monty forest interaction where the Cat King toys with Monty in order to both protect/play with Edwin

(Which, by the way, the Cat King knew about Monty before the forest scene when he shapeshifted into him by the lighthouse. So, like, did he know what Monty's secret identity was then and just straight up didn't say a word because he felt like it? Or did he figure it out later?)

2) Jenny straight up meeting Charles and Edwin only after being possessed by a demon and literal minutes before her shop gets blown up leading to the iconic "you were about to leave those boys forever now you're going to risk your life to save them" line

3) Jenny only meeting David to sing Belinda Carlisle/threaten him with a meat cleaver and get her SECOND near-death experience

4) Hell, on the meat cleaver POV: first and only time Niko meets the Cat King it's to threaten him with a meat cleaver and clock him for his interactions with Edwin (same goes for Crystal even though it's her second time meeting him)

5) Any scene Charles has one-on-one with Monty plus the bit on the sidewalk where Monty straight-up bypasses him for Edwin and Charles just goes "I was polite, wasn't I?" while the girls are clearing him away for Edwin and Monty to flirt

6) Night Nurse and Kashi. Everything about those interactions are *chef's kiss.*

7) Same goes for Night Nurse and Niko. Their dynamic is so fucking good and leads to the fantastic "reading comprehension" bit.

8) And from a more devastating/angsty POV, the scene with Esther and Monty in episode 5 where Monty feels more like a teenager than any other character in the cast. And as much as Esther is a camp queen in that scene, it's also terrifying because that iron cane is against Monty's chest and she literally ripped him apart episodes before that and she's going to kill him again next episode with that very cane and your brain is just bouncing between laughing at the "it's honestly nbd" line and going on red alert because get the fuck out of there, Monty, you're going to die at her hands-

[writemekpop]

(Un)arranged Marriage | Kim Jungwoo

Pairing: Kim Jungwoo x Reader

Summary: You have to stop your best friend Jungwoo from escaping his wedding... But your massive crush on him complicates things.

Genre: Fluff, angst, South Asian Y/N

Word Count: 0.7k

Gif: @xiaojun​

Your fingers hover over the pearly white keys of the harmonium. The whole wedding congregation have fallen silent. 

The second you start playing, the bride will enter, and the wedding will begin. 

But your fingers are frozen. 

You should be happy – it’s your sister Pallavi’s wedding to Jungwoo, for god’s sake! Then why does watching them kiss make you feel so hollow inside? You wish that your sister was marrying any other man… just not Jungwoo. 

Jungwoo is… enchanting. 

He’s like a sunrise: you’ve seen him hundreds of times, but you never stop being dazzled by his brightness. You’ve always been the sibling who “needs to loosen up”. But when you’re with Jungwoo, you find yourself sleeping on the roof of your building under the stars, throwing your shoes into the ripples of the Mahadayi River, running around barefoot under monsoon rains. 

You can’t quite pinpoint the moment when Jungwoo’s hand brushing your thigh became the highlight of your day. 

No. You blink back to reality. You lost your chance with Jungwoo. He’s been your best friend since you were 5 years old. You’ve had two decades to make Jungwoo yours – and you failed. Anyway, family comes first. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.  

You start playing the piece you’d practiced. 

Pallavi wafts out, looking radiant in her shimmering red and gold sari. 

She’s still walking when you hear something. 

It’s the best man, Yuta, running up to the microphone behind the priest’s stand. 

“Sorry guys, there’s going to be a slight delay to the wedding.”

Everyone flinches as the microphone screams with static. Then, a moment later, Yuta continues, much faster and quieter, “You have one instruction. Do not let anyone know that Jungwoo is gone!”

The guests erupt into chatter. Yuta’s face turns very red as he realises that the microphone was still on – and everybody now knows that the groom has made a run for it. 

You run up to Pallavi, who is now standing at the side of the marquee, next to Yuta.

Pallavi is holding her phone to her ear, her golden kitten heel tapping on the carpet. She turns to you. 

“Do you even know how embarrassing this is? The family company’s investors are here!”

You shake your head. “Did you guys fight again?”

Pallavi laughs sarcastically. “Oh, didi, we’re always fighting. Just find that idiot. Now!” 

You run to the back of the marquee, to the two-storey ‘wedding building’ containing the banquet hall for the reception meal, the bar and lots of changing rooms for the bride and groom. You feel strangely exhilarated, like you’re a child again, in a crazy Go-Kart race. 

You run through the double doors and straight to the marble staircase. You have a gut feeling that you know where Jungwoo is. Whenever he gets in a tough situation, he always wanted to be as close to the sky as possible. 

You’re panting by the time you reach the door leading to the roof. 

Pushing it open, you scan the space. The sandy concrete roof is empty, with nothing but a few plant pots to the sides and a low wall stopping people from falling off.

At the far end, a man in a very expensive kurta stands with his back to you. 

“Jungwoo!” you call.

Jungwoo turns around. He grins at the sight of you.

But you’re not smiling. You shake your head, your body stiff. “What the hell are you playing at? This isn’t a joke, Jungwoo. Do you know how upset Pallavi is?”

Jungwoo shakes his head. You notice that his eyes are a little puffy. Has he been crying? “She’s just worried I’m embarrassing her, that’s all.”

“Go back there and apologise. Heck, go back there and get married!”

Jungwoo sighs, sitting down on the wall edging the roof. He looks gorgeous in his tightly fitted silk kurta. His eyes twinkle under his dense brown curls. 

Suddenly, your phone rings, vibrating in your silver side bag. You pull it out. The caller ID says ‘Little sis’. 

“Pallavi?” you say, holding the phone to your ear.

“Well? Found him yet?” 

You look at Jungwoo. He’s shaking his head furiously, his hands clasped together in a praying action. You don’t know. As a sister, you have a duty to protect Pallavi’s marriage. But for some reason, you never could say no to Jungwoo.

Gulping, you say, “No. No sign of him… yet.” 

You snap the phone closed, glaring at Jungwoo. 

He pulls off his jacket, and throws that off the building too. 

Jungwoo’s voice is low. “I’m thirty years old.”

Standing up, he pulls off his tie with both hands and throws it up, where it catches the wind and swirls off the building. 

He smiles faintly, looking at the sky. “Without regret, they fall and scatter… cherry blossoms.”

Finally, he kicks off both of his fancy dress shoes and throws them across the roof. One of them teeters on the side wall, till it finally rests there, just about balancing.

“I’m an unemployed, failed actor, about to marry a woman who can barely stand the sight of me.” 

He’s always been so melodramatic. That’s part of his charm. Jungwoo always seems to be acting a role in a great divine play no mere mortal can know about. 

You run forward and grab Jungwoo’s shoulders, forcing him to look at you. “Get it together, man! You need to grow up. You have a loving fiancée waiting for you down there.” 

Jungwoo strokes your cheek with his hand. You shiver at his touch, an involuntary gasp sucking through your mouth. You get a sudden urge to hold his hand in yours, squeeze it tight.

“And why do you care so much?” Jungwoo asks, smirking.

You feel suddenly hot under his caramel gaze. “B-because she’s my sister.” 

Why do you feel like the one in trouble? Jungwoo’s the guy who abandoned his bride, not you!

“Really? Seems kinda like you’re… hiding something.” His face nears yours. “I know you, Y/n. I see the way your jaw stiffens when I kiss your sister. Am I not worthy?”

You snap. Pushing him off you, you shout, “I’m happy for you and Pallavi! How many times?”

“Just because it hurts to see you with Pallavi, that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you. Just because I wish it was me on that aisle, that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you. Just because I love you, jungwoo, that doesn’t mean I’m not- happy for you…”

Your voice tapers off as you hear yourself. For the first time, the pain of the man you love marrying someone else flows freely through you. You’re… in love with Jungwoo? All this time, you’d buried your jealousy deep under a layer of affection for Pallavi and family duty.

You’ve always been accused of ‘not being able to talk about your feelings’. But you pushed your feelings for Jungwoo down so deep you even hid them from yourself. 

Jungwoo pulls you into a tight hug. You let your tears seep into his shoulder. 

“I had no idea you felt that way,” he murmurs.

“Are you… going back to Pallavi?” you ask, your voice tiny.

Pulling back so he can look you in the eye, Jungwoo shakes his head. “I love you, Y/n, but…”

Your heart squeezes.

“I think I… hide in relationships. Look at me! I waited till the wedding day to address the problems in my relationship. But if you’ve taught me one thing, Y/n, it’s that I’m done hiding. I need to face my problems alone, and work out what I really want.”

Jungwoo kisses your hand. “Would you wait for me?”

You nod, smiling through your tears. “I’ve waited two decades. I think a couple months more won’t hurt.” 

—

MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

[littlethie]

In Safe Hands - Draco Malfoy x reader

You and Draco are in a relationship. The two of you have a fight but still go to a party. Draco is still angry and reserved until someone drugs you and you seek out his help.

A/N: this was FUN! Thank you for a lovely request  ❤︎

Warnings: Angst, fluff, alcohol, drugs, swearing, puking, mentions of death/killing, fainting - this sounds like a horror movie, I swear it isn’t 

Requested: Yes / No ; By: starcross16

Words: 1,9k 

picture’s not mine

“Fine, then I´m not going!” you screamed at your boyfriend and dramatically sat down on the sofa, your voice echoing through the manor. The two of you had been fighting this whole day. You couldn´t even remember why, anymore.

It had started in the morning. You both had woken up a little annoyed, snapping at each other every now and then. You were visiting him at the Manor since his parents were away on a fancy Malfoy-style vacation. Everything had made you irritated and you hadn´t even been able to make breakfast in peace. Draco had been answering you unpleasantly and acting as if you were an obstacle in his way. This hurt your feelings, since you had been invited by him.

You didn´t fight much in the relationship. But today was different. You both could have dealt with the irritation. But when Blaise Zabini had invited you to join him and the others at a party happening at his place, Draco had said something about you not being able to handle liquor and something about you embarrassing him.

So you had been screaming and fighting. You had done your makeup and hair. You both wanted to go, perhaps, let off some steam. It was kind of funny, how you had fought but still got ready. You didn´t think you had a problem with liquor, and honestly, you both knew, somewhere deep under your layers of egos, that this whole situation was just an unfortunate outcome of bad sleep or a bad day. But you were also stubborn. And resigning was just too anticlimactic for the both of you.

“Don´t be such a fucking child, Y/N,” he scoffed at you, evidently now more irritated. “Perfect, now I´m a child. If you don´t want me to go, then just tell me. I may just fucking stay at the Manor and bore myself to death,” you rolled your eyes and put one leg over the other, while your head fell behind, leaning against the backrest.

He was fuming. You knew you both had to go. Everyone knew you were visiting him. “Don´t make me angrier. Get up.”

Oh, how you didn´t want to. Again, standing up would scrape your ego. But you did it anyway. Draco huffed and walked to the door with your unbothered body behind him. He grabbed you by your arm but didn´t look at you. Firmly and a tiny bit painfully. His brows were furrowed and mouth upside down in a scowl. He could never hide his discomfort.

You apparated in front of Zabini´s huge Manor. All you knew was that his mother was also somewhere on a vacation. You were a expecting a peaceful evening, maybe some other classmates. But when you arrived you could hear loud music coming from the inside. Draco let go of your arm and made his way inside. There was one thing you couldn´t deny, though. He looked extremely attractive in his tux.

You followed your snappish boyfriend inside and got immediately greeted by already drunk Blaise, Theo, Pansy, the smell of alcohol, bodies and perfumes. “Heeeeeey, the favourite couple has arriiiived!” he slurred.

“Merlin, Blaise, how many people do you have here?” Draco asked, totally perplexed, looking at the mass of people dancing and drinking. “I have no idea, man. Some people have invited people and they have invited more people,” he laughed and this was the first time Draco gifted you a look. A confused one. But he did. Others quickly rushed you into this huge saloon.

“Come on Y/N!” Pansy had a strong hold on your wrist while dragging you to the bar. “What are you drinking?!” she screamed through the music. You looked over at Draco, who was not far behind with Theo. “What are you drinking?” you asked him, the annoyance leaving your mind. “Don´t care about me,” he growled and your heart sunk. “I just asked…,” you explained but his face stayed stern. He walked through you, leaning slightly over the counter asking for a firewhisky. He usually asked for your drink too but tonight… not a chance. “Oh, trouble in paradise?” Theo smirked and Pansy hit his arm. “Stop being an asshole and leave… and take your drama queen with you,” she pointed at Draco with her head.

Theo squinted and mimicked her, but Draco swiftly turned him around by his shoulder. “You alright Y/N? What happened with you two?” she snooped a little and you just shook your head.  “It´s nothing. We had a bad day full of fighting. We both got up on the wrong side of the bed,” you sighed. “Oh, I´m sorry. A little drink and dancing will always help! We can start lightly. Hey!” she turned around to face the bartender. “Two gin-tonics please!” she yelled at him. The bartender looked at her then you. He blinked at you. You were petrified. “Did you see that?!” you came closer to Pansy. “Yea, I heard he´s a prick, don´t mind him,” you obeyed but this feeling in your gut just wouldn´t go away.

You looked behind you to see where your boyfriend had gone, and you spotted him sitting in a booth with the boys and some other classmates. You turned back the moment you heard the bartender. “This one´s for you…” he handed one drink to Pansy, “and this one is for this beauty I hope I can see later,” he handed you the other drink. “I´m sorry, I´m here with my boyfriend,” you gave him an uncertain smile. He raised his eyebrows and looked at you strangely. What the heck? “I said, don´t mind him! Let´s dance!” Pansy grabbed you again and dragged you right into the middle of the dancefloor.

You took a sip from your gin-tonic and let yourself go. You noticed Draco walking behind you towards the bar, probably for another firewhisky. “Hey…” you grabbed his arm lightly. He shot you an angry glance and wriggled out of your hold. “Can´t you leave me be for just a few fucking hours? This doesn´t help me calm down.” You were looking at him totally blown away. He continued in his way and you were now looking at Pansy, who was about to rip him to shreds. You stopped her. “Just leave it. Let´s dance!” you were trying your best not to cry. So you finished your drink as quickly as possible.

After a while your body started feeling weird. And so did your mind. It was only one gin-tonic. You said to yourself. Out of the blue, you could see not one, but two, three, four Pansies. You stumbled a little and Pansy quickly got a hold of you. “You didn´t eat anything before this, did you,” she laughed. You couldn´t answer. Your eyes were circling around the place. The lights were too light, music too loud and people too many. You wanted to tell her something was wrong, but your mouth felt like powder sugar and you put your fingers up to your face to feel it. She was dancing like crazy, turning away from you to dance with this cute tall boy.

Your steps seemed heavy as rocks. You felt like puking. Every time you made a step forward it was like your direction changed or the room turned around. Your sight was blurry and music made you flinch. It was even worse when different bodies hit you while dancing or walking. You tried to steady your mind, focusing on the platinum mop of hair. You were well aware of your situation and what was happing.

You thought it had been at least an hour. It had actually been five minutes. Your eyes landed on his tall body. He was standing, his back facing you. His hands were on the table supporting him. You were getting closer.

“Draco…,” you breathed out as soon as you reached him. He turned around with an extremely annoyed face. “Fuck, you´re already drunk?” he frowned, “you only had one drink, Y/N, this is what I was bloody talking about,” his friends were looking at you with raised eyebrows but you couldn´t care less. You felt the panic attack washing all over your body.

“I can´t. I... Draco, there´s something wrong with me,” that was all you had managed to let out before collapsing, Draco catching you just in time. His annoyed face turned into a worried one. “Y/N?! Hey! Baby! Come on!” he shook you gently, but your eyes kept going backwards. You had fainted. The boys didn´t wait a second and helped Draco take you out for some fresh air.

You had woken up by then and you steadied yourself, holding onto Draco and Blaise. They helped you sit down on a bench outside of his manor. You knew you had to get it out of your system. You put two fingers deep down into your throat and puked. Theo was quick to bring you some water. Boys let the two of you alone. You were sitting on the bench for a solid hour. Draco didn´t mind though. It helped him calm down, to gather his thoughts and to realize what an actual ass he had been this whole time.

Draco pulled you into him, kissing the top of your head. You closed your eyes, feeling a little better now. “What the fuck happened, Y/N?” he murmured into your hair, slowly rocking the both of you back and forth. “I think the bartender drugged me. I am not sure, though,” you answered him honestly, taking in his sweet and masculine scent. And just as you said that, Blaise stormed out.

“Guess what. The bloody bartender has been selling drugs in my own fucking manor. He shat his pants when he saw Y/N, so he confessed. The boys are taking care of him now.” He said and squeezed your shoulder softly as he left to deal with the sucker. You could see Draco´s urge to go and hex the guy, but you held him close to your body. This was more important and he knew it. “I´m so sorry, Y/N. If it weren´t for my stupid stubbornness, this wouldn´t have happened,” Draco cupped your face and placed a warm kiss on your lips. “I´m going to hurt him anyway, though. Who does he think he is?!” he growled and you placed your palm on his fiery cheek. “Hey, just let it be. Let the boys deal with him. Don´t get your hands dirty,” you smiled and shifted closer to him. “I want to kill him. This is all my fault,” he pressed a kiss onto your forehead.

“It´s not your fault, Draco. We are both stubborn. I was acting like a child today and I want to apologize. I am a little emotional at times and you are really the only one who can handle me,” your noses were touching, foreheads pressed against one another. He moved his nose gently along yours and kissed the tip. “I love you, Y/N. I promise I´ll take care of you. I promise I´ll keep you safe. I don´t know what I´d do if you were…,” he gulped, “you know, if you ended up in a worse condition, just because I am too proud to let things go.”

“Stop, Draco. I am here. Thanks to you. You know that I love you too.”

“I think it´s time to head back home. There´s no other place I´d rather see you than in my bed with my clothes on. What do you think?” he smiled beautifully.

“Let´s go,” you whispered and kissed him once more.

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. their crush

Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Member

Word count: 3.9k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: It’s just them crushing on you 

Warnings: -

Masterlist

A/n: I tried a different format this time and used bullet points rather than just making it like a full story since my brain was going crazy when I wrote this. Let me know which format you prefer and maybe I might incorporate both bullet points and the essay ones since I actually quite enjoy writing using both.

Chan

You guys only met because you knew Jeongin 

The tiny babie brought you to meet his friends 

Chan was smitten when he first met you 

He thought you were so pretty when he saw you following behind Jeongin 

“Innie,” 

“Yeah?”

“Who is that?” 

He wants Jeongin to introduce you two

Sensing the vibes, the maknae is more than happy to introduce you two 

if he was being honest, he already knew Chan would pretty much fall in love with you immediately

Chan’s flustered when he introduces himself to you 

He’s almost blubbering all over the place 

You find it kinda cute but he’s scared you found him really weird 

He tries to steal little moments to be with you 

Like ‘accidentally’ bumping into you in the hallway 

Or how he just so happens to walk into Jeongin’s room when you’re on a call with him

Or how he just so happens to be lingering around the flea market nearby your college campus 

Chan takes care of you without even realising it 

If you bump into each other he asks whether you’ve eaten or how your day is 

He loves the way you seem to parent his friends like he does 

“Jisung, put the knife down. You’re going to hurt somebody” 

“Hehe, make me” 

“PUT IT DOWN 〴⋋_⋌〵” 

Chan’s surprised he listens to you

He loves how everyone only seems to listen if you’re the one talking too

If you’re hanging out with them at the dorms and Chan can’t seem to control everyone, you just step in 

“Guys, please”

And suddenly the chaos has calmed down 

Chan finds it amazing 

Everyone just… stops when you ask them to

You find it amusing 

It’s like watching a single dad trying to control his seven wild sons

He chases after Felix around the dorm a lot because he’s usually done something weird with Minho and Jisung

He manages to get your number using an excuse of needing you to calm down the boys 

“Please… they don’t listen sometimes” 

Jeongin finds reasons to push you two together 

“Yay! You guys made—oH nO I ComPleTeLy foRgoT!!”

Leaves the two of you alone 

He honestly just thinks you two should get together and so does the rest of the group

So they find excuses to get you two alone together 

But your relationship takes f o r e v e r  

Only because Chan wants to be absolutely certain that he likes you

He doesn’t want to commit to someone he’s worried he’s not sure of yet

Slowly but surely, he starts to ease into the relationship

He sends you music he thinks you’ll like 

Eventually he’ll start sending you his own music 

He only confesses when he’s absolutely sure he’s pretty much falling in love with you 

The way he does it just wins your heart immediately if you weren’t already as whipped for him as he was 

He writes a song for you (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡ 

Minho

Bumped into you at a dance studio he goes to often

He thinks your dancing is amazing 

At first he doesn’t want to bother you 

But then he’s all like “heyyyy I’m Minho” 

And you’re pretty much taken away by how gorgeous the man is 

Minho wouldn’t be too flustered 

He would keep his cool around you 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to impress you with his sexy dance moves 

Tries to win your heart the romantic way which doesn’t work because half the time you’re too busy dancing to actually realise he’s trying to flirt with you

“Hey, baby ;)” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing”

Wonders whether he should just make a dedicated advance towards you 

He likes your humour 

It’s similar to his 

You both just laugh at really weird stuff together 

When you share your numbers, he sends you weird videos that he thinks you’ll like 

Minho’s not much of a texter, but when you do get a message from him, it’s either something he’s really excited about or something really weird 

Only realises he’s actually crushing on you when Changbin points it out 

“Why are you so nice to them” 

“Who?” 

“(Y/n)” 

Then Minho realises that he really likes you

Starts slowly working harder to win your heart 

Helps you with your dancing

“Your body looks a bit stiff” 

Buys you lunch 

“I got you the lunch box from 7 11”

It’s always something you end up liking if you hadn’t tried it before

Buys you drinks from the vending machine 

“What is this???” 

It looks like a double shot coffee 

“Energy?”

Minho doesn’t know either but you both drink it anyway 

And end up being at the studio until 3 a.m. because you’re both so hyped with caffeine

Offers to walk you home if it’s getting late

“It’s not safe on your own”

“Minho, I’ll be fineeeee” 

Doesn’t take no for an answer and forces you to let him

His advances work

You’re pretty much whipped for him by the time he confesses 

Which Minho does by buying you flowers and bringing it to the studio 

Changbin

You work at the music shop that he goes to often 

When he’s browsing the CD’s and the vinyls, he spots you at the counter 

His heart almost explodes when he sees you 

The first thing that caught his eye was the way you were dressed 

:0 

Fits Changbin’s style 

He’s nervous to approach you with the vinyl in his hand 

Why was he so nervous? 

Oh right, he was pretty much completely smitten by you 

“Hi!” 

 He loves your voice even more

“H-Hey,”

Changbin’s so nervous 

He likes your bracelets too 

He thinks they’re really cool 

He ends up coming back a lot and you wonder why this man needs so many CD’s and vinyls 

Eventually, he builds up the courage to talk to you

Changbin comes by every once in a while just to say hi 

Sometimes he just comes in to talk to you during your break

You tell him you’ve always wanted to try making music

He tells you he makes music 

You’re all :0 

Changbin tells you about it 

And you get really interested in his music 

He starts coming after your shift or during your break to play you his songs 

He gets all uwu when he sees the way your eyes shine 

You have him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it 

Doesn’t admit that he’s pretty much whipped 

Even though he visits you almost every other day 

And how he buys you your favourite snacks 

Or how he stays way longer than he expected to just bcs he’s talking to you 

You’re just as whipped tbh 

You love talking to Changbin 

You like his music taste and he’s fun to be around 

Confesses to you by taking you out on a date 

He brings you to his studio 

Shows you how he makes music 

He finds it adorable how you’re so amazed by his equipment

So he teaches you whatever he can in the time you’re together 

You both spend the evening just messing around 

You make a short track that you’re sure sounds really off

Changbin reassures you that it’s nice 

He teaches you how to layer the different tracks 

And eventually teaches you how to edit them despite the few hours you have 

You’re so excited 

He smiles every time he looks at you 

Bcs you’re so adorable he feels like he might burst 

Confesses at the end of the night 

“I like you a lot” 

He blurts it out and it catches you slightly off guard 

But you like him back so it’s fine 

Ends up offering to take you to the studio anytime you’re both free

Hyunjin 

Met you through Felix 

Felix invited you to play a game with him and his friends 

Hyunjin hears your voice the first time and he’s already curious 

He thinks you’re really chill and he likes your vibe 

You end up playing more games with them 

He ends up wanting to get to know you more 

The thing that honestly gets to him the most is the way you take every loss so lightheartedly 

“There’s always another game” 

You don’t rage or stress out over it 

Over time, he starts spending one-on-one time with you 

Until you’re both just doing literally anything else but gaming together 

He denies them as dates whenever his friends ask, claiming that it’s just friend time

Until one night you’re both awake at four a.m. and talking about everything and anything 

He likes the way you think

“Hyunjin, did you know that sometimes in movies, they use trash cans to replicate tiger roars” 

“What???”

He likes how you’re joking talking about starting a revolution 

He knows you won’t

“So, yeah, fuck capitalism!” 

“Yeah!” 

He loves the fact that you’re so open about what you think even if it’s something small or weird

“Mercy’s ass is so thick… for what reason…” 

“She’s a video game character??” 

“Felix, her ass is so thick, she could kill someone with it” 

Hyunjin loves hearing you rant about your day 

“And?? It’s so stupid!!”

“Calm down, (Y/n)”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you egg!” 

Hyunjin thinks you’re adorable when you’re all riled up

He finds it amusing because he likes hearing you talk 

“You live there too?” 

He didn’t expect to be so close to you

“Yeah, that’s how I met Felix” 

He never realised you and Felix knew each other in real life

You spend more time together 

Talking about whatever comes to mind until the dead of night 

Sometimes you watch movies together 

You stay away from horror movies because he doesn’t like it that much 

But you’re always talking about something with him

The two of you are always the last to leave the call because you end up talking after games 

Hyunjin asks you out without even realising it sounds like a date

“Is that a date??” 

“Sure” 

He didn’t even realise he asked you out until after he’s left the call

?!?!?!?!

Goes into panic mode 

He just asked you out!!!! 

Starts asking Felix about you

He laughs at Hyunjin but helps him anyway

Shows him what you look like on your Instagram 

Hyunjin thinks you’re so pretty on your posts

When he sees you in person for the first time 

He’s so taken away 

You’re gorgeous

Whatever feeling he didn’t realise he had for you comes rushing in 

Hyunjin loves your laugh 

You spend the whole day together just walking around town

It’s nice to hear his voice when it isn’t coming out of your headphones

By the time the date’s over, Hyunjin wants more of you 

So he tells you he wants to take you out again while he’s walking you home 

You accept 

He turns to you with a c: before asking if he can kiss you

Jisung 

You’re a barista at the cafe nearby the JYPe building 

Jisung was designated as the drink buyer that time by the rest of his group 

If he was having trouble remembering all their orders before 

He has even bigger trouble now when he sees you 

YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR APRON 

He freezes the moment he sees you at the cashier 

“Hi! What would you like?” 

Jisung’s eyes go ◑.◑

“Uhm… sir?” 

“Sorry!” 

He struggles to get his order out properly

But you’re patient with him and even though he barely knows you 

He likes that you are 

Jisung’s watching you the entire time you make his order 

He can’t take his eyes off of you 

You do notice it, but you find him adorable so you don’t say anything 

He seems to be easily flustered

When you hand him his order, he’s still a blubbering mess 

“T-Thank you…” 

Your name tag says (Y/n) 

So he thanks you using your name which you smile 

“Have a great day!” 

Jisung comes back the next day 

He doesn’t even need any drinks, he just wants to see you again 

When he does, he feels all fluttery on the inside 

“Welcome back” 

He orders a dark chocolate smoothie and an iced mocha for Minho

Minho would kill him if he found out Jisung went to the cafe without him 

Jisung sits at an empty table and watches you again 

The next day, the cycle repeats 

And the day after that 

And the day after that 

Minho follows him at some point, wondering why Jisung seems to obsessed with the place 

“Why do you like this place so much?” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

Something’s definitely up with him 

Minho only finds out when he sees the way Jisung’s face seems to light up when he sees you 

“You like the barista, don’t you” 

“WHAT BARISTA ಠoಠ” 

That’s all he needs to confirm it 

Minho lets Jisung order, seeing just how excited and giddy he is when he’s talking to you 

Jisung’s practically bouncing up and down while you talk to him 

When they leave, Minho’s all up in it 

“You really like them, huh” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about >:c” 

Knowing Jisung, he wouldn’t do anything about it 

So Minho takes it into his own hands to bring you two together 

The group is having a mini event and they need someone to serve drinks 

Who else to ask other than you? 

Jisung’s eyes almost bulge out of his skull when he sees you because 

What are you doing here???? 

He’s so nervous 

Minho practically shoves him your way 

Again, you find him so cute that you don’t even realise he’s practically dying to know you more 

“Hi Jisung!” 

You learned his name over the course of him constantly coming back and Jisung just loves hearing it from you 

“Hi (Y/n)” 

“I can’t make anything ice blended, but I can trade if for an iced dark chocolate” 

“Okay!” 

As long as you make it, he’ll take it 

The event comes to an end but Jisung’s pretty much spent more time with you rather than his group mates 

Even they’re amused by how into you he obviously is 

“Hey Jisung” 

You stop him before you leave and he’s immediately at your side 

“Since you keep coming over, here’s my number” 

◑.◑

“Give me a call before you come in so that I can have your drink ready for you to pick up” 

He’s so happy :D

He sends you pictures of cute animals and random snippets of his music 

Felix 

Met you through League of Legends

You have good synergy so you became friends through that 

At first, he only managed to play with you occasionally 

When he’s able to, he notices how you always sound so bright 

“Hi Felix!” 

He likes playing with you 

You’re laid-back 

You don’t stress over losses too much 

“Ah, what to do?” 

But when you’re irritated, Felix finds it funny

“Fucking asshole!” 

“You were in the way, (Y/n)”

“Shut the fuck up!” 

You’re so funny to him 

“Felix, don’t go into bush” 

“I can bait them” 

“DON’T”

His character dies

“Oops ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)”

“-`д´-” 

You’re easy to game with and that’s what he admires the most right off the bat 

You always seem to be up for games 

Even when he’s not able to play, whenever he logs into Discord he sees you’re online 

Wonders whether you sleep at all 

“I don’t need sleep. I am gamerrrr. Gamers don’t sleep” 

“Please sleep” 

“Lix, sleep is for the weak and I’m not weak” 

“You passed out last night in call” 

Honestly slightly concerned for you 

Overtime he realises that he really looks forward to games with you

Before Felix would just go to sleep after practice or shows 

But he’ll start waiting to see if you’re up for even one game 

Which you always are 

Slowly starts spending time with you just talking 

Eventually it leads to the both of you staying up until 5 a.m. laughing at really stupid memes 

During the day when Felix can’t join call 

He sends you funny tiktoks and memes 

You appreciate it because you like him 

But you don’t admit it because you’ve never met him in person before

Until you both find out that you live only a few hours away from him 

Invites you down to Seoul to spend time with him 

You’re nervous

Felix is nervous

He knows what you look like

You exchanged Snapchats and started streaking a while before 

He sends you funny pictures of his members 

You send him selfies with random filters

But nothing could prepare him for when you appear from around the corner 

He sees you appear and he’s all (゜ロ゜)

Your photos don’t do your natural beauty any justice

Is a bit of a mess when you’re walking around together 

Eventually loosens up around you 

Compliments you a lot and it makes you blush 

You spend the day just wandering around the place 

Felix takes you to his favourite places and favourite cafes 

He wants to share his favourite things with you 

You find it endearing 

Tries to make you laugh a lot because he’s just grown to really like the sound of your voice 

Since you’ve spent most of your time talking over call

Felix just loves hearing your voice 

When the day’s over 

He asks for more nights that aren’t just filled with games because owo he wants to do more with you 

Seungmin

Bumped into you at JYPe because you were visiting a friend 

Hears you singing with Yeji and he immediately falls in love with your voice 

He peeks into the dance studio to see the two of you just sitting on the floor together 

There’s no music 

It’s just the two of you singing together 

Your voice makes him :D 

Seungmin leaves the two of you bcs he doesn’t want to intrude 

But he ends up seeing you more often 

Turns out you’re in Seoul for a while so you’re spending quite some time with Yeji 

He sees you in the hallways a lot

When you walk past each other, it’s always just a polite bow 

You don’t really think much of Seungmin other than the fact that you think he’s pretty handsome 

Yeji teases you for that 

When you’re walking through the building to look for her 

You hear someone singing in one of the rooms 

You peek through the glass 

It’s Seungmin! 

ಠoಠ

And he’s so good

You listen from outside the door 

You knew he was good since he was an idol

But you didn’t think that he was that good

You don’t even realise he’s done when the door swings open and you’re standing there 

When Seungmin sees you, he realises you were most likely listening 

Now you’re just staring at each other like 

(ﾟωﾟ;)

Because now he knows you were listening 

And now you know he knows 

“Uhm…” 

You’re embarrassed 

You’re lucky Yeji pops from around the corner and your eyes plead for her to drag you away 

Which she doesn’t 

“Sunbaenim!”

“Hi Yeji” 

“Have you met (Y/n) before?” 

You actually want to tear her apart

“Not properly, no” 

“Well... “ 

“WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME” 

You drag her away before she can say anything else 

The next time you see Seungmin 

You pass by him in the hallway once again while you’re looking for Yeji

“(Y/n)” 

ಠ_ಠ

“We keep passing each other but we’ve yet to actually meet each other properly” 

“Haha…” 

“I know you were listening the other day” 

“Haaahhhhhhaaaa…”

“I don’t mind that you did.”

“Huh” 

You’re actually bit surprised that he doesn’t mind

“I overheard you and Yeji singing the other day in the dance room” 

༼ : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ༽

“You sing really beautifully, (Y/n)” 

There’s an awkward wall that takes a while before you two actually break it down 

But when you do 

It’s almost like you visit the building to see Seungmin rather than Yeji 

She doesn’t mind since she saw it coming 

Doesn’t mean she can’t tease you about it 

Seungmin looks forward to having lunch with you in the cafeteria 

At this point, the staff don’t even question your now daily appearance 

You end up falling for Seungmin way faster than you thought possible 

The feeling’s mutual 

He just likes everything about you 

You’re so sweet 

You’re also really caring 

He notices that when you follow him to the practice room where Stray Kids are 

Changbin trips over Hyunjin’s legs 

You’re rushing over to help without any of them really realising it 

He loves how nice your voice is too 

“Can you sing for me?”

You’re shook 

You wonder why he wants to hear your voice specifically

“Your voice is just really nice 

He realises he really likes you when you briefly disturb their practice to give Seungmin lunch 

He briefly mentioned that he forgot his wallet and his lunch 

Since you aren’t an idol or staff

You had to use your own money in the cafeteria 

Seungmin’s heart flips at the realisation 

Ends up asking you out so that you don’t have to spend so much time inside the JYPe building all the time 

Jeongin 

Meets you through Changbin 

You went to the same high school as him and you kinda just stuck around

Changbin brings you to the dorm bcs he borrowed a hoodie 

The entire dorm greets you really brightly 

Jeongin’s the only one just watching in awe 

He’s so shy when you wave at him 

Seungmin notices and raises a brow 

“I-I’m Jeongin” 

“Hi Jeongin! Changbin talks about you guys a lot” 

He’s so nervous 

He wants to know you more, but he also doesn’t want to make it obvious that he’s taking interest in you 

The others don’t really notice because they’re too excited by the new person 

Seungmin, on the other hand, tells Changbin about it 

Changbin now makes it his mission to bring you two together 

He brings you over to the dorm more often 

Especially if Jeongin’s the only one home 

“(Y/n), you’ve met Innie before right?”

You nod

Jeongin’s adorable 

Changbin ends up bringing you over for movie nights 

Now you’re just an honorary member of the group 

Everyone else loves you 

Jeongin always tries to sit next to you during movie nights 

Especially if it’s a horror movie 

When you get scared, you hug his arm and he likes that 

Makes him feel like he’s able to protect you like a big strong man ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

You kinda like him too

So you test the waters around him 

You start talking to him more since Changbin told you he’s really shy 

Jeongin slowly eases into your company 

It takes a bit of time, but he’s started getting more confident around you 

You visit the dorm thinking Changbin’s there because he stole your favourite belt 

When Jeongin opens the door he’s all :D but when you ask where his hyung is he goes D: 

Tells you he’s not home but lets you in anyway 

No one else is home except for Jeongin and Chan 

So you sit in the living room with Innie 

You start talking about random things 

You end up talking about almost everything because it turns out that Changbin’s gone way longer than both of you thought 

Chan eventually emerges from his bedroom and waves at you 

He orders fried chicken for you guys 

You and Jeongin continue talking while eating 

Chan finds it super cute

Jeongin’s playful around you 

But he doesn’t want to make himself appear immature 

But you like when he’s being playful so you slowly ease him into being more comfortable 

He still just wants to impress you so you like him back 

Wait, when did he start liking you??? 

He realised it when you were over for a regular movie night 

You fell asleep in his lap 

Jeongin thought you were so cute 

When you wake up he asks you out 

You accept 

He cuddles you for the rest of the night and asks you to spend the night at the dorm

[amelia]

related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)

it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do

i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through

i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3

other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3

number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.

and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.

she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.

number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!

um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.

beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.

i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE

number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)

but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.

ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃

also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!

( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )

honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long

[sly-merlin]

killing me - 8

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : cursing and mention of a knife.

words :: abt 7k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

 or              

                      “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657​ @sorrywonwoo​ @sillywinnergladiator​ @suhweo​ @exfolitae​ @minejungwoo @leesalts​  @mal-nakamoto23​

@kafenetwork​​ @neowritingsnet​​

K.M masterlist

K.M 7   next

Loneliness. The sentiment long forgotten was kindled again. you were so sure that you were just numb to it by now, had hoped that you won’t be affected by that ever again but the compass was directing to all the wrong sides. To experience what you first did 20 years ago was not something you were ready for but given a thought, it would never be.

This could be counted as your longest ride to the university. You felt sick to your stomach but there was no other place for you to go, no person either. It was in the heat of the moment, you realised that you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You needed someone as a confidant. You closed your eyes, sitting in the bus, recalling everyone but came out blank. Not that you lacked reliable company but there was more than one valid ground to oust the thought of it.

With a head full of trouble, as you entered the university, wonwoo messaged you to meet up. For him, your class was still in progress so you decided to consider the offer.

You and wonwoo were friends or fwb to be precise, with a strong year history. However, that couldn’t eliminate the significance of the word friend. You could always rely on him, he himself had affirmed that occasionally, your trust in him being the foundation brick of the relationship. Maybe he could offer you the consolation you craved right now or maybe his embrace would make you forget it completely.

**************

You stumbled as a tap on the shoulder startled you, but it was only wonwoo.

“Finally! Don’t you miss me even a tiny bit!” he announced while hugging you tightly. “Let’s sit on the bench.”

He took off your bag, working on loosening the straps that were already annoying him.

“how many times do I have to tell you! Wear the bag on one side , don’t tighten them or better,just quit wearing these tops baby” he nagged , looking at you but your eyes were fixated on the trees ahead. the uncertain look on your bare face was making him a bit uneasy. In addition, you did not throw killer eyes at him for calling you baby. And you looked sober. Something was definitely off.

“What’s wrong y/n. you look tired. I mean you are a forever grandma but seriously! Tell me what’s bothering you?” hearing the sincerity in his voice, you faced him, his signature honest smile releasing the tension in your body.

Facing him properly, you put the bag behind you. He was still grinning stupidly. You briefly glanced at him, brain continuously yelling to fuck taeyong’s deal and just tell him everything. Nothing was holding you back now.

Before you could utter anything, the layer of leaves on wonwoo’s head drew your attention. You reached out to remove them, but he caught your hand midway. His hand covered yours entirely as he started placing little kisses on the inside, lips travelling from the palms to the fingers and there he stopped abruptly, a squeal left his mouth at the metal touch.

“A ring. Wow. So, the great y/n knows that the shoes aren’t the only thing available in shops!” he exclaimed, chuckling loudly.

You tried to pull your hand but he did not let go. He observed it closely with a frown settling upon the previous happy face. You yanked your hand again forcibly, this time he complied.

“I have something to tell you.” You mumbled softly.

“it’s a diamond y/n.” his statement took you off guard.

“I have something important to discuss woo.”

“ it’s a diamond ring y/n!” he repeated with a lot more emphasis, voice still polite. But you got exactly what he was hinting at.

“would you hear me out. Please!” instead of denying, you tried to negotiate.

“no. first answer me. From whom did you accept it? Yugyeom? Jungkook? Minnie?”

You were left stunned at his sudden accusatory tone.

“fucking do me a favour and shut up for a sec woo!” this time your words were laced with frustration.

“oh wow” he scoffed before continuing, “ what are you here for! To inform me that you have finally found someone to settle down!”

“what! No! Why are you dramatizing so much over a bloody ring! I need you to use your ears and not mouth! For once please.” Your anger got the best of you as you yelled at him. He stood up, shielding you from the sunrays.

“you can’t possibly explain anything! I just don’t wanna talk right now.” And with that he walked away before you could give him the justification he deserved.

********************

you woke up around 1 p.m. in the library, exactly same place where you decided to sleep away your troubles, like always. After stretching your arms, you activated the phone which has been switched off earlier. As you watched the screen coming alive, wonwoo’s conversation made way to your now empty head. You weren’t so sure anymore that he could be trusted with any restrictive information. If you expose him to all what has happened, you’d be doing more harm than good. Love makes one foolish. And you’d rather die by blocking yourself than have him face the outcome.

Did that mean you loved him?

no. you shook your head at the thought. Love is a strong feeling. Especially the one he had showed you all this time.

Yes. You did love him. A lot. Just not in the way he did. But at this rate, you couldn’t say you if you deserved his love.

Multiple beeps broke out your train of thoughts. You were sure everyone was finding the culprit of breach of silence in the library. So you duck yourself into the desk to hide.

7 calls from johnny. 2 from minjun. 4 messages from johnny.

You nibbled on your bottom lip, opening the messages.

Johnny : did you reach safely!

Johnny : hey, pick up the phone.

Johnny : for once

Johnny : nobody ignores the john don. Don’t break my streak and call me back. Today! Or else I’m coming home. Make sure the dinner is ready!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply rolling your eyes, you recklessly threw the phone back in the bag, walking for the international relations section to get some work done. The second best distraction in life – research.

***********

The day was a complete loss.You didn’t study, pretended half day that you were finding a topic in the library but ended up reading animal farm again. Now you were home and with god’s grace, yuta was not back yet. Tossing the bag on bed, you changed down to cotton shorts and a tank top, ready to make a sandwich to eat as a starter before attacking the icecream you got earlier.

Big T.V, sandwich, ice cream, itaewon class, everything sans yuta was worth living these days. So enjoy it while it lasts. You slouched more into the couches as gaho’s start over played, the melodious voice slowing fading your bitter day.

******************

Yuta was just ready to sleep when he came back home. The idea of three hour training session after a week gap was certainly a crazy one but he realised it only when the deed was done. Now he badly wanted to go into hibernation mode.

Crossing the hallway, he saw the t.v playing gangnam style but noone was there except a white comforter. Upon inspection, he found you sleeping peacefully on your stomach curled up into a ball. He made a few sounds of displeasure at your figure before turning the device off. He was about to leave when something else caught his eye. Green tea ice cream.

He picked up the sealed cup, it was not fully frozen but still chilled enough. Maybe due to the air con. But he was happy. Now he could eat or drink his favourite ice cream and blow a fuse simultaneously. Ofcourse yours! He placed an envelope on the table and went away with the ice cream while not putting the lights out, that too intentionally ofcourse.

*****************************

Tuesday

Awakened by the rooster, you found yourself in the same position as yesterday. The cramp in the neck was now past the pain stage. It was numb to the point that sleeping on other side won’t help either. Supporting the neck with your palm, you started collecting the mess you had made on the table. Remote , plates, empty ice cream cup, the plastic spoon.

Weren’t there two cups???

Or maybe you just slept too much.

You came back from the kitchen to discover an envelope. A dL enevelope specifically.

Nakamoto y/n

-nonghyup financial group.            

It was addressed to you! .But you didn’t receive anything of that sort the other day so that meant it definitely involved yuta. And it was from a bank. You didn’t even have an account in that bank.

Nakamoto y/n my ass. You muttered bitterly before opening it. There were some promotional coupons, a small guide on how to open an account. You scoffed at the unnecessary stuff that was giving away nothing. Then you saw it.

A MasterCard. With your name. new name!

You gave the package a once over before closing it again, putting it in the original position. You were fully capable to survive on your own, there was no need for taeyong or yuta’s mercy when it was essentially to fulfil their own feeble ego. It felt like a kick to your noble gut!

Ignoring it completely, you went to wash up hurriedly so you could get out of his hair before he could attempt to spoil your mood any further. When you came back, a very unfamiliar sight astounded you. A man with deep blue suit stood in the kitchen with his back to you and if it was not for his blonde hair, he could easily be mistook for some gentleman. Due to the light blending sound of the juicer, he had missed your incoming. As you passed the sink to get to fridge, dirty dishes caught your eyes that he still hadn’t washed. You were not going to put your hands in his mud and before he could order,you told him off.

“ clean after yourself before leaving or it’ll stink in here.” You quietly said as you washed the oranges for breakfast.

“whaattt?” he asked like you were speaking some gibberish.

“I said clean these dirty dishes”

“Says who!” he raised a brow at you. “the one who was sleeping in the trash herself!”

“what trash? Oh! That was just a plate. And worry about yourself, I know how to wash mine!” you replied continuing the peeling.

“huh! Don’t boss me around. あなたは私の母ではありません!” before you could ask him what he muttered, he threw something on the pile. You slightly winced at the clatter but didn’t turn around and let him leave.

You examined the mess. The noise producer was a glass. The juicer was also filled with vegetable residues. One could only hope that he would take up your suggestion or you would be banning yourself from the kitchen, for ever!

You were peeling the second orange when he came out of his room and rushed out like his tail was on fire. A frustrated sigh left you as you took in the state he left the kitchen in but you were not going to be his maid. If he wanna eat, he could do it himself.

After breakfast, you did some finals revision which were approaching in three weeks but not like you were not prepared. All the papers were submitted, just the thesis topic submission was left which everyone else was already done with. Even jungkook. But you were instead going to use the day to make up with chelin.

******************

The day went as fine as it could. Chelin agreed to go shopping with you but it took more than just a takeout to sincerely apologise this time. She denied you half day, making you race for her forgiveness but eventually gave in at the end, with terms and conditions of course.  

You studied till late night but didn’t hear yuta returning. But the next morning you knew that he didn’t arrive at all. And in exasperation and for your own well being, you cleaned the sink to remove the stench. As much as you wanted to call taeyong, he won’t be helping you in anyway, that you were sure about. He pretended to take your side but at the end he was always yuta’s brother. And you were just a nobody.

*******************

Wednesday 3:43

 Johnny: where are you? Answer me asap.

  You : I’m studying. Don’t disturb me!

Johnny: sure. Don’t show me tantrums and come out. i’m waiting

You : waeyoo??

You groaned at the message. Avoiding him was no more an option!

You : where are you? I’m already on the pavement.

You looked around for a tall figure but he was nowhere to be seen.

“you are alive!” johnny jested, turning you with your shoulders to face him. He was clad in off white button down and white pants, making your worn out self feel like a beggar.

“you tracked me again?”

“woahh! You hit my generosity with a shit face! Expected better from you.”

“ did. You. track. Me .johnny!”

“you started it by not replying. I was worried!” he defended himself a bit comically.

“I swear I’m going to drown this bracelet in a sewage!” you bellowed while getting out of his grip.

“you know you can’t do that and it’s waterproof and maybe gutterproof as well so think harder about throwing it. Hyuck would find it eventually and make you wear the same piece!.”

Scrunching your nose in disgust, you muttered a curse at him which only earned a chuckle from him.

“why are you here anyway.”

“for shopping.”

“what shopping?”

“clothes! Duh. You have a celebration to attend!”

You scoffed at his casual tone. “ what celebration johnny. I’m not doing another shit on taeyong’s order.” You declared, hands crossed on chest.

“it’s not something grand. Just a small get together of office workers and you know you can’t ditch tae.”

“office event! That’s another reason to avoid it. I would be alone with yuta and If you don’t know already, he literally pulls his knife at me everytime he sees me! He’ll k-

“I’ll be there.”

“oh so now this is an office event with family members! Good luck convincing me this time!”

“who said anything about attending as family.” He said, winking at you and dragged you by right arm towards his car. Once you were seated, you stopped him from going further.

“nope. Listen. Lemme think first , then I’ll decide what to wear on my own. If you have time, just drop me home. I’m hungry and I have some work to do.” You tiredly said, dropping your head on the seat. He could only chuckled at your antics.

“then we’ll eat something before shopping and I’m not hearing another word. Fasten your seatbelt lady, we are going on a highway to shopping!” you laughed at his cute shout and he took it as a signal to drive.

After insisting johnny that you were going to pay for your own dress, you both stopped at the mall food court to eat something. A full tummy rotated your mood 180 degrees and you were ready to have him pull you around. He dragged you from store to store to only end up doing window shopping until he found THE ONE! That was what he declared it to be!

You both went around different aisles to pick some clothes. Though you could afford those, you still didn’t had the heart to do so. Your precious money was going for what! Clothes?

After something like twenty minutes, you both met near the changing room as decided.

“Go change and give me a show. I don’t trust your old school brain.”

You huffed but did as he said.

He has gotten mixture of bright colours and soft shades, sleeveless and thin strapped, long dresses!

And the one you chose were south to his north. You wore one that you picked at first, a solid black knee length flowy skirt dress with long sleeves. It looked good on all the right places, so you went out to show him.

“how’s this?” you asked him excitedly but the mood died down seeing his dull expression.

“no! you ain’t wearing anything this short!”

“Knee length is not short johnny”

“change it!”

“uugghh!”

The next dress you wore was ivory draped puff long sleeve mini dress. You almost cooed at yourself but he rejected it again. at every dress you chose, he shook his head in disagreement.

“why don’t you try mine ones?” he quipped.

“um. I don’t wear sleeveless.soo..

“why? Those looks sexy girl!”

“no! get me anything quarter or long sleeved but not these thin straps and no questions coz I’m not answering any!” the questions in johnny’s head died down before he could even form them.

“okkk. No need to bite me over that. Wait lemme find something.”

You stood in the changing room for what felt like eternity when johnny finally called you out with his nosy loud voice.

“these!” he handed you two dresses and signalled to change.

“why are we hustling so much. It’s not like anyone’s gonna bother!” you said in a bored tone, feeling the heaviness of the dresses.

“just go already. I’m getting hungry again!”

Both of his dresses were beautiful. All the previous ones looked quite dull in comparison. And just by looking, you already knew what you wanted. as you took in your appearance after changing, a smile lit up on your face. It was a powder blue dress with golden embroidery. The plunging neckline with fitted waist accentuated your best features though it would only properly fit when you were not bloated from eating. Sheer elbow length sleeves with gold hid what you wanted to in the first place, so they were alright. The satin skirt was long , resting right against your legs, not too flowy but you could already imagine yourself in your black heels that would be hidden under the skirt ,yet complementing it perfectly.

you presented yourself in front of johnny.“I want this one.” You said, tightening your hair tie. he wordlessly walked towards you and removed it, setting your straight hair on your back instead.

“how do I look?” you questioned hopefully. His face adorned a very light smile but it still reached his eyes. He moved backwards and examined your form , pretending to be evaluating you with hands tucked in his pockets.

“you look like-” he paused before biting his lower lip as if finding something peculiar to say. “a woman.” He completed, gaze still fixed on your eyes.

“what! A woman. That’s all!! you are just like- just like yeong! Ugh” you stomped your feet before going back to change into original jeans. You were expecting some high quality comment but nevermind.

After you were gone, johnny couldn’t control his laughter. He knew his compliment was lame , heck it wasn’t even a proper compliment but he meant it. And it was not for the dress you wore but for the smile that he saw for the first time. He sighed before he saw you approaching.

“I’m also hungry. Let’s get takeout. Devil won’t be home. We can peacefully eat without interference.”

Johnny chuckled again before following you.

“hey, isn’t this one a bit expensive.” He enquired as the other dress was a bit cheaper.

“I don’t care. I’ll think of this as a long term investment.”

“how?”

“I’ll repeat it at your wedding!”

******************************

Your stomach growled loudly as you opened the door. Johnny tailed behind you with arms full of food and clothing bags. He went to kitchen as you proceeded to find your shorts, dying to get out of the hellishly tight jeans. Holding your hair in a low loose ponytail, you exited the bathroom only to find johnny standing there like a pole.

“what?”

“what! I gotta pee. Get out!” he pulled you out while entering himself.  You returned to the kitchen mumbling incoherently at johnny and opened the take out boxes. As you made your way for the couches, johnny shouted at you.

“you animal!”

“what? Did you call me?”

“you need to heat it first. I’m not gonna eat like an animal!”

You felt slightly unnerved when he extended his hand to carry them to the kitchen again. in no way you were going to stand near it so you transferred the boxes and made your way to the room.

“heat them. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“no wait! why are you always running?” he placed the boxes on counter in a swift motion and rushed for your door.

“why are you hiding now?” he asked knocking lightly, not sure if it was locked or just shut down.

“don’t you have food to heat?”

“oh so that’s your way of running from chores!” he dragged out the last words mockingly.

“no its not like that.” Your said in a small voice. “I’ve an irrational fear of beeps. So I can’t go near the microwave.” You mumbled, voice filled with embarrasement. You weren’t sure why you told him but the bullet was out now.

Johnny went quiet before opening the door to find you standing, head hung low. Taking your arm, he pulled you out of the room.

Now you were standing in front of the oven, scared if he was going to run a test on you. You tried to back away but he was quick in caging you with his long ass arms.

“here,” his finger pointed to a certain button, “this is a mute button. You can shut this damn thing dude. Were you living under a rock or something?” he screeched at you in a high pitched voice, making you wince. But you were stunned at the discovery and you were sure chelin was as illiterate as you were in this matter.

“is it also some expensive shit?”

“no dumbo. Most of these have a mute function. Either you were stupid or just unlucky to buy a wrong one. But what’s with the scare.” He asked with curiousness in his eyes.

You drew your eyes away, wishing he would let it go but his deep stare ultimately broke you.

“Umm old trauma,” you started , avoiding his eyes, “I was in the accident with my mama and dad.I don’t have vivid memories of it, the only thing I remember is the noise of ambulance, police, some shouting. Nothing more. When they took me to their hospital room ,maybe coz I was crying or something, they d-died in front of me. H-heart monitors. Beeping again. when first time mrs.park , my orphanage caretaker , took to me to kitchen to make me food, I screamed and lashed at her violently. A lot of teasing followed that incident, by the senior kids ofcourse. But its only limited to few things, I don’t get triggered by cars or music. And she never took me to kitchen after that, maybe that’s why I never overca-.” You faced him as you completed. “th-that’s the story.” Your voice came out as a harsh deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll keep my mouth shut from next time” He apologised, his hands sliding from the counter to your waist. “ I- let’s heat this. Your first time. I’ll show you how we use this high end gadget.” He suggested, lightening the atmosphere instantly.

“yeah. I’m very excited!” your words were cheerful but voice wasn’t. he gave you a full on tutorial like a salesman at which you nodded like a very compliant customer. Now you were waiting. Sometime while showing you, his arms had securely held you against the counter, comfortable smiles resting between you two. Johnny’s eyes scanned every feature of your face, in a gaze that was not very tricky to describe. Your own hands were resting on the counter, twitching under his scrutiny. You didn’t want to but couldn’t help thinking if he-

“Woah! What. Is. Happening?” yuta’s surprise entry alarmed you both as johnny levelled himself up, covering you from yuta’s inquisitive eyes.

“Nothing. you say? How was office.” Johnny inquired, immediately changing the subject.

“they love me. That’s enough for me. But what are you up to suh? He wiggled his brows, neck craning to indicate behind-the-scenes happenings.

“we-we went to shopping. And we were gonna eat now. You wanna join?

“shopping? What did you got? Condoms?” he whispered the last part with a devilish smile.

Johnny glared at yuta to which yuta answered with a tired look.

“enjoy yourself. it’s better that I sleep off whatever is gonna happen here. Just keep it low. I’m fucking exhausted and dead.” He retired saying it loudly enough for you to melt in humiliation but he didn’t know explicit comments won’t make you feel low in shame.

Johnny circled to face you after his departure, embarrassed eyes wandering all over the kitchen cabinets above your head.

“I’m not gonna touch it. get it out.” You motioned for the food that was burning in the heat, according to you.

“oh!”

You both went to couches to enjoy the food and talked for about 30 minutes more. It seemed like yuta was seriously out like a light. You laughed, ate, gossiped and when the session ended, he was well aware of your infatuation with certain kinds of drinks and you knew that hyuck was the stinkiest person on earth. All was well and he left, making you happy for the time being.

**********************

Friday

For the whole day, you were busy. Prof. kwang suddenly thought it was best to summon you to fill the absence of his assistant, adding fuel to misery. But you were able to function fully for you hadn’t  run into yuta in the last 24 hours. After completing the extra tutoring sessions, you finally arrived at the destination.

You ran out of the elevator as you were already late. Maybe beyond late. As your room keys jingled, a voice stopped you from turning the knob.

“you are late! We were supposed to be there at 7:30. Taeyong is gonna be pissed off at me now and all because of your shitty time sense.” He gritted his teeth,making you angry but when you turned around, you knew you had fucked up. He was fully ready in a black suit, hair swept back and all , like a gentleman but you didn’t get the time to admire him as the look in his eyes was literally enough to scare you.

“I’m a busy person. Just give me few minutes. I’ll be out.” You said quietly, not ready to start a verbal fight with a no-brain case.

“don’t do that.” he stopped you again from entering the room. “ take a shower first. You ain’t sitting in my car with that smell.”

You bit your lower lip to control the overwhelming urge to kick him in the balls for his hypocrisy and simply shut the door.

After a quick clean up, you changed into the blue dress, did some light makeup to hide the black holes under your eyes. Completing the look with red lip, you went out, bare handed.

Yuta was on the couch, playing some game when you saw him.

“aren’t we getting late or something?” you scoffed , standing in his vision. He sized you up as his pupils dilated. Not wanting to entertain him anymore, you treaded to find your heels. He joined you after a few minutes and within two minutes, you were out.

******************

As you entered the decorated hall, you knew johnny made the event sound more smaller than it was. How you were going to survive the long night was beyond your imagination. Every corner of the room was filled with people chatting away with each other. The more you looked, the more you felt like an outsider. no familiar figure met your sight. The anxiety started creeping in and that’s when you saw someone approach you.

“fashionably late yuta! Its understandable though. Look at y/n. she looks so pretty!” taeil exclaimed, wiggling his brows at you.

“hurry up would you?” yuta said in irritation.

“nope. You are still my employee so tongue in your mouth. now let’s announce your arrival first.”

You followed him like a cat, only stopping somewhere at the centre of the room. You noticed that taeil’s footstops gathered attention like none other.he glanced around before clearing his throat as an indication for everyone to quiet down.

“I don’t need to tell anyone why we are here! But formality is a trend in business and I shall follow it to my deathbed,” a combined laugh followed from everyone but it seemed like an inside joke for you. “yuta nakamoto, our dear employee got hitched in a very intimate ceremony and don’t worry even I wasn’t invited! But tradition continues and here were are gathered to celebrate their happiness. He would be gone soon again so it’d be nice if you all give your wishes and blessings for their future. And I’ll also introduce y/n to the family. She is nothing but a charming woman and i hope she ditches others to join our company one day!” a round of applause followed and taeil cleared the path for everyone.

One by one, people loomed towards you to congratulate in their own way. A hand snaked around your waist, startling you momentarily. “just smile.” His whispered into your hair. You nodded before putting on the biggest smile possible for a person stucked in your position. A few stolen glances at him showed that he was also flashing a bright smile as he shook several hands. Some asked your name, some were interested in your occupation whilst one was interested in knowing the jeweller of your ring. You couldn’t say taeyong so you just waved it off with few giggles. Millions questions were running through your head and there was noone to answer. The aroma of the food passing around in trays was not helping the grumbles coming from your empty stomach. Though you both moved to a corner, fellow employees were still taking turns to have the business and personal talk with your husband. He spewed words like he was the ultimate game, but you knew better just by the way his hold on your waist tightened at some particular questions.

You would’ve surely enjoyed his distress but you wanted nothing more than to eat a piece of cake that that just flew by you. luckily for you, a waiter halted at your stop. You grabbed a drink and hurriedly took a sip to soothe your nerves, all when yuta was staring like a hawk. He observed your nervousness right when you entered but it was heartbreaking for him to avoid poking fun at you.

He gulped his glass in one go, releasing a sigh of relief, as he saw taeyong and others approaching. kun, johnny, jaehyun were tailing behind but they seemed quite distant.

“hello mr. lee. We are glad to have you here.” Yuta formally shook taeyong’s hand, your face instinctively scrunched up at his behaviour.

“I see you married a very fine young woman.”taeyong also cajoled but in a very professional tone.

“you met her! She’s y/n. my partner in crime! Loveliest wife ever. But be careful, she’s a bit nosy.” He pointed his words towards you while keeping an arm around your shoulder. You simply rolled your eyes at him. You were about to threw his arm away when others approached you.

“If I wasn’t concerned about my repo here, I would have cooed at you y/n. I wanna pinch your cheeks so hard right now. Everyone thinks you both are so happy, but only I know how constipated you are from inside woman!”jaehyun laughed like he just shared a joke with you but not holding back, you just unleashed the exaggerated version of his laughter.

“oh jaehyun!” you started, slightly hitting your glass on his arm, “ not sure about a pinch, but I can surely punch your pretty face and guess what! I don’t have any repo to maintain. So its your responsibility that I don’t explode or else you won’t have anything to be concerned about anymore.” You finished letting out a fake giggle, but seemed like everyone but jaehyun found it funny as they were all laughing at the diss.

“atleast you think I’m pretty! No wait! it sounds all wrong!” he suddenly whined, encouraging everyone to laugh loudly at his state.

He was still being grumpy when an old man stopped near you, escorted by taeil making the uproar stop immediately. They all bowed at him and you followed suit. From the looks, he seemed in his 70s or maybe more.

“i love when young people find love. Who do you work for kiddo?” he lovingly asked you.

“I’m a masters student. Law specifically. I wish to join chois one day.”

“chois? I don’t like those leeches. You should try in qian mutlinationals. Kun have more opportunities and you can go international from there. He can give you a free ride till china, beyond that you can explore yourself!” as he finished his wise advice, you turned to kun in surprise. He nodded his head at you with a sheepish smile, confirming the words.

“sure, I’ll give it a thought.”

“and you nakamoto! I heard you were back last week but who would like to greet this old man who’s gonna die anyway.” He scoffed at him and you could sense the tone of friendliness in their interaction.

“you are the one to blame. You don’t get out of your house these days. And you don’t even care enough to visit us anymore.”

Now you were super confused.

“ohh! So she knows everything. When were you gonna tell me! When I had gotten diabetes with all the sweet talking.”as they all expressed their amusement, you were getting restless from all the unknown.

“I would love to hear your love story but I am extremely hungry. But y/n I have a work for you”, you nodded at his words, “ convince moon to remarry. I can’t watch him die like me, alone and unhappy. This manforce have failed so I expect a smart woman like you can find a way to do that. Please promise me, you’ll do it for this old man.” You were out of words but taeil made your work easy as he dragged him away.

“I think you’re drunk enough. Let’s worry about me while eating the delicious food.”

“only you can do it y/n!” and he was gone.

“you’ll get all answers so don’t worry. You look lovely by the way but I shall take my leave as I’m also very hungry.” Taeyong explained patting his stomach. Looked like everyone was getting food but you!

“y/n-ah! Not that shorts don’t suit you but dressing up just scaled up your beauty.” kun chimed in causing yuta to scoff. The way air was leaving his nose, it’d blow up anytime soon.

“johnny’s fashion sense is immaculate like always.” Johnny said, raising his collars.

“don’t blow your own trumpet. I was the one who chose it!”

“huh! What she chose were donkey dresses!”

“donkey! You need to change your dictionary.”

“respect. I’m a top level worker in lee financial corps.” He said smugly.

“so they just hire anyone wow!”

“not jus-

“stop you two! We are still here.” You glanced at kun and yuta, eyeing you both.

“I’m just hungry kun. I just had breakfast and coffee and nothing else.”

“then go and eat. I also need a breather from you!” yuta barked, playing with the empty glass.

It was your turn to snort now. But johnny linked his arm with you to take you away before the war could start. You ate as much as you wanted while questioning him,

“how can these employees have so much energy to spare. Don’t they work 9 to 5, then get time to attend a stupid party!”

“they were given half day off today.” He replied, munching the tofu.

“who was that old man?”

“that’s all part of a circle. You’ll complete it one day but I can’t tell u here so wait!”

“hmm. Then what about taeil? About remarrying him! And taeyong and kun’s companies. Dude that’s huge. How do you manage your syndicate.”

“stop! Cant you eat in silence woman. You’ll know when it’s your turn.”

“ok last one. How can yuta be an employee here when only thing he knows is to make juice or slice people!”

“we have his backup who does the actual work. Yuta takes cares of the investors and all. So he’s supposed to be anywhere but here. So it works out. And fyi he’s quite an eye candy here.”

“then go flirt with him! I ain’t in need of a poison candy.”

after gobbling all the starters, you conversed with him for about 20 minutes whilst enjoying your drinks. And he took you back to you designated seat for the night, right by yuta’s arm.

Earlier, you were being hoarded with guests, now it was your turn. It seemed like you were yuta’s assistant who was taking mini business reports from employees. By now you had no doubt that yuta was nothing but a chameleon, well versed in hiding his true self to blend in the corporate environment. You smiled as much as you could, giggled when yuta laughed and turned towards you, gulped numerous kinds of drinks and now you were a bit tipsy or maybe just tired or both.

You were handling fine being yuta’s dear wifey until they announced that there was a dance. And the stupid couples already hurdled to the centre to show off their skills which you didn’t have in the first place. You heard yuta groan as he pinched his nose and that was his most agreeable expression he had from the whole night.

“let’s just flee after this” yuta suggested.

“hell no! my dancing skills can’t be exposed to these prim prom perfect people. I ain’t doing it.” You continuously shook your head at him, the enmity forgotten for a moment. But he had other plans.

“don’t you dare step on me. I’m gonna eat you alive if you holed my shoes!” he suddenly moved you to the pool of people dancing on the floor. He guided your hands on the right places and the position made you both well aware of the tension in each other’s bodies.

“just do what others are doing.” You craned your neck from side to side but got nothing.

“nobody is doing anything. They’re just stitched to each other!”

“exactly.” And without any warning, he pulled you into him, your grip on his shoulders tightening instantly.Standing chest to chest with him, you totally forgot the need to exhale. You didn’t dare move as he delicately swayed you from side to side, his eyes boring into yours. You wondered what conception were you both throwing at others. He was no pro like you but still managed to look like one.

It continued for few moments until jaehyun interrupted you.

“can I have her hand in dance” he asked yuta to which the man just released you. it was so sudden that you were taken aback by his sour mood but everything about yuta was sudden so you didn’t paid much attention when you had a mountain of trouble standing in front of you.

“may i?” jaehyun asked, bowing to you.

“no!”

“oh come on. I’m much better than yuta in dance.” He jerked your hand and next moment you knew, you were waltzing with him. He was doing what you call actual dancing.

“you looked so romantic with him and here I get the stink eye.” he sighed at you.

“because I am confined by the demand of this situation or else even you would be sporting a black eye by now!”

“I feel extremely hurt y/n. we are same age so shouldn’t we be getting along.”

“getting along my ass you son of nepotism.”

“that’s so unlady like behaviour. You should be accepting friendships when you are getting them. As said by a someone very famous, life is fleeting and in your case, I won’t trust the lifecourse too much.”

“stop using instagram quotes on me. Read the context then put into application, jaehyun. Life is fleeting. Chances would be gone before you know it.”

“when was the last time you listened to someone without running your brain hmm?”

“the same day when you were taking a break from running your mouth.”

“you are a terrible dancer.”

“you aren’t any good either.”

“what was the name of the boy who gave you hickies?”

“you want classes from him?”

“nope. I’m more than better at my game. I just wanna confirm what is he? Blind or dickhead! Coz no sane man would come near your beasty at-

“I hope you love your shoes.”

“what!”

A gasp left him, face turning red as he shut his eyes tightly to contain the pain. you had stomped on his foot with your pencil heel and now he couldn’t do anything but mutter curses as he progressed slowly for the bar to sit. Yuta joined him soon only to fan the flames.

As the time passed , drowsiness took control over your senses. Dinner was being closed by now, but you were the hosts or were supposed to be , so there you stood by the door with same i-am-so-in-love-with-my-hubby and it-was-pleasure-to-meet-you grins plastered on your face. Yuta’s hands would be calloused by the amount of hand shaking he had done but not that you cared.

Goodbyes were sent to taeil and johnny as well and when you were about to leave, jaehyun and taeyong came over with some papers in their hands.

“y/n you forgot to sign these. This one is for the property situated in gangnam. I know I promised three in the same area but I changed my idea for bigger and better. This one’s is in Incheon and other is in busan, your hometown!” he recited as he showed you the stamped papers. You were not sure about taking anything from him so you refused.

“no taeyong. I’m good. I’ve my sources and I’ll be joining summer internship so I can fend for myself.” You reasoned.

“it’s part of the deal. Just sign, I mean well please.”

You felt everyone’s eyes on you as you tried to think harder about it.

“leave it taeyong. This tie is killing me so let’s just talk tomorrow.”yuta said, loosening his bow tie.

“It doesn’t concern you yuta and y/n its part of the promise. Do it or I’ll have to force.” Your jaw clenched at his desperate tone. so you snatched the pen , ready to do as he demanded.

“where do I have to sign!”

“here!” he pointed out on the first file. “and y/n y/l/n nakamoto!”

You nodded without glancing at him and signed on all the three files, making it official.

Taeyong flashed you a smile as you returned him the pen, “I’m glad it worked fine. Now you must be tired so we’ll let you retire.”

You passed him without caring enough to reply. Soon enough , yuta joined you.

**************************

The passing trees and streetlights provided the comfort that you didn’t know you needed. It was sweet, the feeling of being alone yet not letting others feel the same. you were trying to count the number of streetlights as you passed speedily.

“aren’t you smart enough to know why taeyong took your signatures tonight?” yuta broke the silence. he took a sharp cut as you lost your count. Not receiving an answer, he spoke again, calmly, “ those properties were on earlier registered on taeyong’s name and that busan one is mine. Taeyong is sharp witted man  you should’ve been careful before giving in to him.”

“what are you trying to say!”

“everything’s flying through your head right! To put it simply, you are part of mafia now.” Your head snapped towards him in utter shock as words left his mouth, “ if you try to rant us or steal any info to give away, upon background checkout , you’d be found equally involved in the illegal activities of neos for when if it is proved that me or taeyong are part of underground, our properties would be sealed , stamping your future with them. You won’t even escape income tax department let alone cops! Those buildings are after all, result of our illegal income!” he stopped as he took another turn, not aware of how your eyes were glistening by now. “you can’t leave unless taeyong wants you to and pray if you would ever be able to! It was a surprise for all of us as well so you don’t need to feel betrayed at all. You, me, taeyong, johnny. The great black neos!” he finished as the car halted in the parking lot.

As soon as he unlocked, you ran out of it, tears rushing down nonstop. Elevator seemed too slow, the mirrors were making you more dizzy as it moved upwards. Everything came in flashes from the moment you passed by that alley. This was not the deal that you accepted! Regret and guilt filled you as the the lift opened. Throwing your shoes in the midway, you ran to your room as the tears turned into sobs, wrecking your whole body. Turning in the keys, you casted yourself onto the bed. With burning throat you passed out there.

And yuta stood outside your door, emotionless, in an attempt to envision how this would end for the both of you!

********************************************

yuta or johnny??? 

thank you so much for reading!

[merakiui]

There's an AFTERL!FE blog now! I'm so happy. All of your posts are so good and I love how you write. Would it be possible to get another story about Theo and Nine's rivalry? The way you write them is just so fun and enjoyable to read.

(Thank you so much! I’m very happy that you like my posts. (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ* You may definitely have another story of their rivalry! I had a blast writing it. This can be considered a sequel to Cake, but it can be read as a standalone as well.)

Nerium Oleander (Theo and Nine)

Stalkers are poison ivy. Their victims are innocent trees, who breathe life and fortune into the one who watches them like a hawk. Twining around their limbs like rope and heavy iron and keeping them pinned for all their worth—it’s a display of parasitic infatuation. Love, like any other emotion felt in full, is awfully draining. Day and night, allowing that person to consume your thoughts. Thinking and wondering if they appreciate you just as much as you value them. Wishing that they would notice everything you’ve done for them on the sidelines. Loathing anyone who threatens that nonexistent relationship.

As fate would have it, there are unlucky instances in which love is one-sided.

Theo simply can’t bear the thought of that, so he becomes oleander—a flower blooming in beautiful death. One hint of its aroma can send you to an early grave. Every inch of the inviting flower is bathed in poison, and yet it’s still so gorgeous. Why is it that the ugliest personalities have the prettiest shells? It’s frustrating to know that he has competition. In a setting with nineteen other Reapers, Theo’s got a lot on his plate. Like ivy and oleander, it’s the exterior that fools. A sharp, monstrous idea can be wonderful as long as it’s hidden within layers of honeyed promises. Like a cake that’s stacked with plenty of delicious flavors.

He doesn’t want to waste his time on endeavors that won’t bear any fruit, but befriending every Reaper will have its benefits. He’s already made a list of those who pose the highest threat to his precious manager. Nine is at the very top, his name circled in black pen. As much as he dislikes the polite and oh-so-gracious Reaper, he has to pretend as if the two of them are friendly coworkers. As if he doesn’t wish for Nine to transfer to another Department or to cease existing. But immortality is funny like that. You’re either stuck with the best people in the world or the fiends of your worst nightmares. Theo wonders if this is his punishment. Spending an eternity with Nine is far more hellish than Quincy and his status as a devil.

Which is why he holds so much hatred for those who hurt his manager, specifically the ones who simply don’t know when to quit.

The blue-eyed oleander witnesses it in the early hours of the morning during a particularly unfavorable mission. A vengeful spirit had the gall to hurt his manager, and they had even more of a spine to talk to them as if they were a worthless weed. In his garden of noxious plants, Theo sees the disgusting hemlock attempting to snuff out the beauty that is his beloved rose. His expression switches in an instant, a light flickering behind those expansive eyes. There are so many emotions he feels in that moment, but fear is dominant as it grabs his heart and squeezes. The spirit could kill them. It’s about to kill them, and he’s flipping through his spell book with rapturous intent.

And then Nine is at their side, shielding them from the spirit’s attack. Before him, the specter vents in anger, spewing meaningless insults. Theo feels as though he’s just been kicked in the stomach. Why is it so hard to get to you? he thinks, gripping the leather book. His chest aches as he sees the manager cling to Nine. Why can’t I be the one who saves you for once? Why can’t you just rely on me? Nine is better equipped to deal with the situation as he listens, attempting to reason with the vengeful spirit. Its crocodile tears don’t faze Theo in the slightest. He should be the one crying because he was too late. One spell and his manager would’ve been rescued from the claws of such a beastly spirit. And yet Nine was faster with his reaction time.

Theo makes a mental note of the way Nine purifies the vengeful spirit once it’s calmed down. He’s always gentle when he talks to them, using his relaxing aura to coax them into tranquility. Theo would’ve preferred to crush it beneath his unmerciful heel, but the problem has been solved. There’s no use fretting over it now. Though it will definitely keep him awake tonight.

“Manager!” He jogs over to them, dropping down to inspect their wounds. “Take this to stop the bleeding. I’ll help you.” Unfastening his cape, he passes it to the manager, who holds it against the bloody laceration while he searches for a proper healing spell.

“Thank you, Theo,” (Name) says, wincing at the stinging sensation. “That spirit really put up a fight. Thanks for coming to my aid, Nine.”

“No need to thank me, Manager. I’m relieved you’ll be okay. Mr. Theo will have you healed in no time.”

Theo grits his teeth before facing Nine. He wants this unworthy hemlock out of his special garden. “Could you gather the others? Let them know that we’re finished over here.”

“Very well. Are you sure you don’t need my help?”

“No.” It comes out way too stern, and Theo’s quick to correct himself. “No thank you. We’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t spare Nine another glance as he departs, focusing on the manager’s pained expression with sympathy. They’re in his arms now, grasping at him for salvation. The situation couldn’t be anymore perfect.

“That was crazy, wasn’t it?” they ask, making light of the previous events. “My heart is still racing!”

“I...was so worried, Manager.”

They let out a wheezing chuckle. “Thank goodness Nine was there. If it weren’t for him, I could’ve gotten killed. It’s scary to think about.”

“Yeah. Terrifying,” he echoes while casting the healing spell on them. Surely there’s a curse that brings misfortune. Theo wants to do everything he can to master every negative incantation there is. Just for future reference. There are so many possibilities when it comes to his rivals. He’ll have a field day debating which is the most effective. “You’ve got to be more careful. If you ever find yourself in trouble, just come to me. I’ll always be here to help you.”

They smile, sitting up on their own accord and feeling for any wounds that might’ve escaped the cleansing powers of Theo’s magic. Every cut is sealed and every bruise is gone, leaving the manager with a feeling of rejuvenation. At once, they recognize the plush fabric of Theo’s cape and gasp, noticing just how much blood has stained the white cloth.

“I’m sorry for making such a mess. I’ll wash this as soon as we get back.”

Theo eyes the color with disdain. How utterly cliché. It’s almost sickening. Red on white is too bold—too deep of an implication. Red is a color that means many things, two of that being passion and love. A third is the color of blood. And white is meant to symbolize purity. Theo knows he’ll have to work hard so that the manager’s purity doesn’t bleed out onto the sterile white of this corrupt world. There’s no way he’ll ever let that happen. When he stares at his cape, drenched in splotchy crimson, he sees more than just a soiled piece of fabric. He sees the darkest imprint of (Name). But blood is still messy, even if it is his beloved’s.  

Theo wonders which cleaning agent is best for erasing blood. His thoughts spiral deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole of wickedness. Mortality is fragile, and cake and blood are no different. Both are victims of inescapable chance. On the other hand, immortality is a curse that binds him to the one he’d rather be far away from. Speak of the hemlock, who has completed the command with diligence. Nine approaches with the others in tow, all of whom crowd the manager like insects. Theo wishes to spend a moment longer with them. Just a few more minutes. There’s so much I want to tell you. He’s bound to this silver-lined rivalry, a prisoner of obsession. And Nine has no idea.

He supposes that’s how poison works. It doesn’t take long until it spreads within its victim, who is unaware as it shuts down vital organs and flatlines their functions. If Theo has to cut the strings that tie him to Nine and anyone else who dares get in the way of him and the manager, he’ll do whatever it takes. Like poison, it’s small and deadly. Poison might not kill an immortal Soul Reaper, but that has nothing to do with their mentality. Cake might be the same when it comes to ingredients and presentation, but it’s the baker who’s most important. A cracked baker is easy to exploit. He’s even easier to tear apart when he’s alone and basking in his own corrosive thoughts.

The oleander festers at the manager’s side, a quiet flower waiting for an opportunity to infect everyone with debilitating poison.

------

Nine has begun to notice a pattern. It’s tiny at first—like a minor inconsistency that isn’t worth the trouble. But then it becomes a prominent itch that looms in the back of his mind like a shadow. Since that mission, Theo’s been hanging around the manager as if he expects another near-death experience to happen, which shouldn’t be much of a worry. Although (Name)’s mortality is concerning, Nine knows the Reapers in the 14th Department would never let any fatal harm befall their precious manager. So why is there a strange feeling that overwhelms him whenever he spots Theo trailing after them, holding files or a bento he made specifically for them? Anyone with half of a brain would assume he’s playing favorites, attempting to get on the manager’s good side so that the punishment for skipping out on work is lighter. Though Theo doesn’t seem like the type to slack off, which is why Nine is sinking in a state of perplexion.

What is he trying to achieve? Realistically, what is there to gain other than (Name)’s approval? They like each and every one of the Reapers, so it’s not like anyone’s on their bad side. He has an eternity to figure it out, though Nine can’t exactly be bothered. If it isn’t hurting anyone, why should he fret over Theo’s behavior? It’s not as though he’s acting out of line. Rather, he’s been quite pleasant. He even offered to assist Nine in moving a few boxes. Nine doesn’t want to hold any suspicions about his colleague, nor does he want paranoia gnawing on his ankles like a puppy.

Without realizing it, he’s been aimlessly walking through the campus as he pieces together fragmented thoughts. His eyes land on the manager, who is alone as they stride towards him. For once, Theo isn’t at their beck and call. Nine thinks of Day and his unwavering loyalty. Perhaps Theo is just as enthused about (Name) as Day is with him. Nine shrugs those comparisons away, opting to focus on his manager.

“Hi, Nine! What’re you doing out here?”

“Taking a small stroll,” he answers. “The weather is perfect for this, and it’s always beneficial to get some exercise.”

“I agree. To be honest, I wanted to clear my head for a bit. I’ve got so much work that it’s beginning to stress me out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Manager. Would you like any help?”

“I don’t want to bother you.” They wave their hand through the air as if the distress isn’t clear enough. It’s obvious they’ve been pulling all-nighters just to get through paperwork and other tasks. “Would you mind if we walked together?”

Nine considers their offer for a moment. While he would prefer a few more moments to himself, he can’t deny someone as caring as (Name). It’s almost a crime to turn them down, and he has no idea where all of this fondness is suddenly coming from. Regardless, there’s a sneaking sensation that touches his sixth sense. Since when did the flowers have eyes? The wind rustles through the greenery, creating an eerie sound that settles in the courtyard. He’s compelled to retrace his steps and turn down the corridor, but your patient expression chases that idea away.

“I don’t mind.” He falls into step with you, calmly observing the deliberate clicking of your shoes. “Take care not to overwork yourself. The 14th Department depends on your leadership.”

At least a few Reapers are more than dependent, he thinks.

“I’ll be fine as long as I can finish everything on time. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Make sure you’re getting enough rest and eating your meals—“

“I know,” they say, drawing out the syllables. “I appreciate your concern, Nine. It means a lot.”

He nods, a simple gesture that confirms his gratitude. His manager is always thanking and praising the others. Briefly, he wonders if they’ve ever taken time to care for their own well-being rather than the well-beings of the Soul Reapers.

“When all of this is over, I’d love to spend more time with you,” (Name) goes on, a bounce in their step. Nine doesn’t miss the excitement that flashes through their features at the prospect of getting to bond with him. He’d rather be alone, but Nine has found it to be a challenge whenever they’re involved. “Do you think you could teach me to play an instrument? I’ve been meaning to pick something up, but I never seem to have time.”

Well, Nine happens to be skilled with his hands. And hands are required to play most—if not all—instruments. Perhaps you’d like to learn the violin, or maybe you’re interested in the drums. He’ll have to learn as he goes with those, but it’s worth it if it means (Name) will be happy. How odd. Where did all of this compassion come from? Nine knows what instrument they’ll say, as the two of them have sat in the storage room and played it on plenty of occasions. The atmosphere doesn’t change, but the flowers certainly do. As if wanting to blot out a horrid memory, the eyes close and a mouth creases into a tight line. Nothing short of disappointment.

“I was thinking I could be good at the piano if I tried hard enough. What do you think? We can play together, and we can even form a band.”

A band consisting of two people is hardly a band. Handcuffs can only restrict one person. A pair of unseeing eyes are useless, and Nine knows his words must be chosen carefully lest his tongue sit on a rusted tray.

He puts on a thin smile. “Learning an instrument can be just as stressful as work. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize your health.”

“I’ll be fine, but you do make a good point. It might be overwhelming if I try to balance that and missions. One of these days I’ll try to learn.”

Just not now.

And he couldn’t be any more relieved.

------

Nine finds himself in the common room later that evening, reflecting over the events of the day when he encounters the blooming oleander. He’s preoccupied with the book in his hands, which is a collection of stories written by the famous Edgar Allan Poe. He never intended to pick up something so macabre. It happened to be the first thing he grabbed while perusing the shelves. Perhaps he should’ve looked for a poetry book instead. Before he can get up and complete that task, Theo enters his visage, the corners of his lips upturned. It fails to reach his eyes.

“Good evening, Nine. I didn’t expect to find you here. This is a wonderful surprise nonetheless.” He says a greeting that’s reminiscent of Nine’s, which has been tailored ingeniously. Recycled words are only worthwhile if they’re put to positive use, and Theo bleeds venom. He has no reason to speak to Nine. In fact, he’d rather avoid him at all costs, but that won’t work if he intends to poison his fragile mind with every bit of sly kindness he can muster. Theo has learned to be resourceful. A talented baker knows how to improvise, after all. “Oh, I recognize that cover. It’s an anthology of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories. Which one are you reading?”

Nine glances at the page, picking out notable phrases. He’s at the part where the old man is smothered by his own bedsheets. “‘The Tell-Tale Heart.’”

“That’s grim, isn’t it? Well, all of his stories are, but that one in particular is really morbid.” Theo sits beside him on the sofa, keeping a gap between him and the weed that is Nine. “Wouldn’t it be scary if you woke up to someone trying to kill you? I know I’d be alarmed. But we’ve already experienced death, so maybe it’s not frightening anymore.”

He tries to understand the motive behind Theo’s incessant chatter. The two of them have never really clicked. Small talk isn’t something they can fall into so easily. Nine wants to ask Theo many things, but it’s wrong to suspect someone without any evidence. So he merely nods as he listens to Theo, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave. It’s not as if Nine doesn’t want to talk; he’s just not accustomed to this facet of the Day Reaper. Lo and behold, the question slips out before he can stop himself.

“What would you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“If you were one of the investigators, what would be your reaction to the man?”

“Oh,” Theo states, pursing his lips as if the inquiry requires deep thought. “We know that the narrator is unreliable. He only wants to kill the old man because of his eyes. He gets paranoid when he hears the man’s heartbeat coming from the floorboards, even after he dismembered his body. I’m sure anyone, investigator or not, would think he’s insane.”

“Do you think that?”

Theo bristles at the question, a sour taste coating his tongue. Why is he suddenly being interrogated by Nine? This isn’t an interview, and it certainly isn’t a questionnaire for a criminal. He laughs to cover up the crack in his mask. “Of course I do. No one of sound mind would murder someone defenseless all because of the way their eyes looked. Just saying it out loud like this is madness.”

Nine nods again. Insanity cannot exist without sanity. A heart cannot function without a beat. A parasite cannot live without a host. He’s not sure where this conversation is going. This is far from a cheery book club meeting. Nine searches every inch of his expression, noting the occasional twitch of his mouth and the constriction of his pupils. Yet he can’t detect an ounce of a practiced lie. Could it be that his instincts are misplaced? Is this what Theo has wanted all along: A moment to talk to Nine as friends rather than coworkers? Perhaps he has been incorrect in his judgement.

The book shuts; Nine doesn’t want to read anymore. There’s an unfinished composition waiting for him in his dorm room. Standing up from the couch, he lowers his head in the form of a farewell. He sets the novel on the coffee table so that Theo can indulge in the fictional world of Poe.

“I’m afraid something has come up, so I’ll be leaving now. Please enjoy the remainder of your evening, Mr. Theo.”

“I will.” Theo beams. “Sleep well.”

Nine doesn’t waste a second turning his back on Theo, exiting the common room with graceful movements. As soon as he’s out of sight, the happy grin melts away and is replaced with that of a dark scowl. He’s not a mindless fool. It was obvious that Nine was uncomfortable. He’s just too polite to say anything, and that’s a weakness Theo’s willing to dissect.

So you were reading Poe, hm? he muses to himself, picking up the book and turning it over in his hands. I took you for a poetry guy. How chilling, Nine. Manager wouldn’t like these grotesque tales.

Who is he to determine what they like and dislike? Theo’s watched (Name) for quite some time now, committing their quirky habits to memory. It’s almost comical how they never seem to notice. Nine does, but he’s always been keen, and yet he can never understand the meaning behind his constant staring. That’ll happen when you spend your days alone, keeping yourself entertained with the voice inside your head. Theo wonders if Nine gets lonely with that depressing lifestyle. The two of them are like night and day. Theo’s bright and blinding like the sun. Nine is quiet and calm like the moon. But there isn’t any oxygen on the moon, and the sun can steal a person’s eyesight without feeling any remorse. Two Reapers of complete opposites, rising and setting all the same. A weed and a flower masquerading in a game of cat and mouse.

Oleander grows to towering heights. A stalker’s presence looms as tall as the very flower Theo embodies. He doesn’t care if he’s a leech or a misleading flower. Anything’s better than hemlock and the imposter cake Nine’s baking. Theo’s the baker and the pianist, not Nine. It will never be Nine. He’ll make sure of that. At his very core, Nine is a jawbreaker of many emotions and memories. Theo will fracture every layer until nothing’s left. Until the ground is a mess of colors and stories that unfold before the entire 14th Department. He’ll dig into Nine’s mind with a knife and fork to pull apart stringy recollections of his past life. It’s guaranteed to be a dessert far tastier than a slice of cake.

Poison ivy is easy to identify. As the saying goes, ‘leaves of three, let it be.’ Theo isn’t as obvious as a sickening rash. That’s the difference between ivy and oleander. One kills and the other spreads with red irritation. While he could sit and wallow in bitter annoyance, he’d rather get to memorizing every hateful hex in his spell book. Maybe he can trick Ell into making him a felt doll of Nine. Oh, the thrill of voodoo. Theo’s never performed such dark magic before, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. He’d like to see Nine lose his mind for a change, because eternity knows Theo’s lost his.

The manager deserves only the prettiest of flowers, and oleander has such a gripping, virulent embrace.

[katzirra]

Waiting for the place to give me my file list from my hand drive recovery. Made an omelet with asparagus and bacon, and gave the boys a tiny bit for being good this morning and letting me sleep in past 8:06...

Hannibal woke me up with very loudly aggressively loving face rubs which is new, and has been demanding attention all morning by soft paw grabbing and holding my hand while cooking, also new. Usually he's very independent and wants nothing to do with us.

Still concerned with his audible breathing when he's SLIGHTLY distressed, for a cat with obvious anxiety, and when he's picked up or sitting/laying weird. It's very noticeable, and I'm wondering if it has to do with his nasal bridge being a tad flat.

Trying to manifest a good mood. I'm having a big existential crisis about being alive.

Which, I'll just throw that under a cut and pair it with an apology. 🤙✨

I feel like I have no purpose or meaning. Having a lot of those "why bother/what's the point" moments about a lot of things which...the depth of those feelings isn't just apathetic like most people experience? For me it's very much a red flag, so that's been fun. Usually it's doing something as simple as doing something nice for myself, thinking why bother, and having to ARGUE with myself why it matters. Like...having to validate EVERYTHING I do these days is exhausting. Honestly, it's been a low simmer scary JUST KEEP SWIMMING the last few months. But everything I feel is too much to talk to anyone about, and it doesn't HELP me to. It's me. It's my brain. It's scary and I don't like looking the beast directly in the face when people want me to open up. My demon, my problem, trust me when I say I'm trying and that I'm sincere when I say sorry I'm not all here or present.

I'm, like torn between wanting to message my friend first to talk about shit, but I'm also refusing because I was hurt and the comment about shit being too much to read just resonates in my brain yelling "you're not worth their time and effort, you dumb bitch!" because my brain has a FIELD day with that shit. Its.... Kicking a dead horse, repeating myself anyway probably. It hasn't seemed to stick after the last year of me apologizing monthly because I'm just a shit friend who is too busy working and trying to not kill myself. Suicide ideation is a thing, and it SUCKS when it's as invasive as it is for intruding thoughts. But I'll keep apologizing because I feel guilty for not being good enough. Present enough. Engaging enough. Because maybe that time it'll stick??

They'll probably be better off without me making them feel bad because I don't put in enough effort I guess? Which also just hurts because I know online I'm standoffish these days, so I put the extra effort into being a good host I thought and I hoped that mattered. I just feel like no matter what I'm doomed to disappoint them? So I don't mean they'd be better off in a dismissive way, it's a legit...way I think. Like I'm obviously causing distress, and yelling at me won't fix it because it makes me recoil emotionally. So maybe I'm just a bad friend in reality and it is what it is. I'm sorry so many people have fucked me up about inter personal relationships?? I don't know what to do this time because that stupid fight cut me very deep in core values in myself.

It...Fucked me up. And whether that's important to them or not, or whether it has an repercussive weight, whatever. We've both been hurt by people, and been there as much as we'd let eachother. I've tried to be crazy supportive in the last bout of shit they went through. Because I love a bitch, and they matter immensely to me, and I know I suffered alone through a LOT of things like that and know it sucks. I offered my home, attention and time any time I could give it.. Being told i don't give as much as them set weird on my heart in light of that. It hurt.

Idk...And maybe I'm just some dramatic bitch or whatever I guess. Doesn't matter. I matter, my feelings matter. I'm mentally ill and I fucking bust my ass to deal with it, AND be a loving and supportive fixture in people's lives. I suck, sure. But I'm ALWAYS there for people.

I mention I'm depressed or angry at life, sure, but the layers of distress aren't...on display? It's my shit to deal with, if I bring it up, it's for benefit of people knowing why I'm withdrawn usually. I don't talk about myself much anymore because everything is too much and I just start venting. And people don't care that deeply about how fucked up my head is. Or I over share too much. Or yeah, it's a lot to read and I start babbling because the cork is off and I HURT inside just being alive anymore. I don't feel like I'm living my life for me these days. I don't feel alive. I feel stagnant. I'm biding time for SOMETHING to happen??

Yet I'm constantly apologizing to people for not being able to do basic shit, that I'm upfront about being difficult for some dumb reason. I'm always having to explain myself to people. I am in this bubble so often of feeling like I was made wrong, a mistake, missing something important.

Or that I'm a bad person. I'm too open, too closed, withdrawn, outgoing - I can never seem to get the ratio right. And its the kind of discussion I feel leans into self pity and attention grabbing but it's...something I internally struggle with every week and keep to myself.

Oh Kat, get a psychiatrist - I dont know that it would help, honestly. I know 90% of my thoughts and fears are irrational, and pointless. But I know they have valid backing in trauma that I have mostly dealt with, and am unlearning. But I also know I see through people, can identify those markers, and understand outcomes way too easy and that ALSO makes people mad. So. What the fuck is a shrink gonna do for me? My depression is a background white noise to this stuff, and it's honestly just bullshit I deal with. I'm not keen on medication, I'm sure it would help quiet my brain, but I've been dealing with this shit almost 20 years now, ita just the added drama and bullshit from people that exacerbates the emotional brain rash, for lack of a better phrasing. My issues are all behavioral and some depression and anxiety in the mix that I manage.

For all I'm told people understand ahit wrong with me, it sure is something I repeatedly get bitched at over, honestly. And I partially get it, I also find it frustrating. But I've been battling depression since I was 12/13 and learning to stop thinking certain things only since 21, and that's the harder part. I'm not the person people think I am, I wish I was anymore. That bitch died in 2011/2012. That fissure in my foundation fucked me UP. The shaking I had one or two years ago, didn't help.

To be transparently honest the whole shitstorm two weeks ago really hit some raw nerves I'm trying to deal with, and not doing well. Because the more times that nerve is hit the more I don't feel like a valuable person and that I'm wasting people's time. But the reason I'm yelled at is that I am a valuable person, and they want more of my time in a way?? I don't know what people want from me.

Waves hand dismissively - they're being sweethearts by the back door for now.

I'm in a weird place emotionally and mentally. I don't feel alive. I don't feel real. I don't feel valid or... I don't know. Nothing I say or so actually matters in my own life or experiences. I can be an amazing person with communication and intention but it doesn't matter if the other person doesn't care, it's like arguing online.

You can have a valid discussion and someone can just say "you're a fucking moron, I'm not listening to this" and you can't do anything.

I just wasted two hours organizing my thoughts qnd emotions into a post that I'll delete in a week. What a great use of my time. I'm juat exhausted.

I turn 31 tomorrow and is rather be dead lmao. I'm so tired of the weight of being alive and aware of the world and people around me. About being considerate and kind to everyone and it's never god damn enough. I bleed myself dry emotionally for everyone and run my mental battery into the ground qnd it's never enough. It's never going to BE enough. I don't want mental.break downs and emotional roller-coasters. I want friends that understand I'm scatterbrained and severely damaged and abused and I'm TRYING. I'm sorry it's never good enough.

I'm so fucking tired these days. I just want to disappear. I want to have an actual breakdown and cry

I haven't actually cried in years. I.... Mm. I feel like.im a shell. I'm so tired. I'm trying AO hard to be a good person and functional and I'm just constantly having more dished and I'm just...what is my purpose qnd point these days. I can't even make people happy.

Tomorrow I'll turn 31. It'll be like any other day. 👍✨

[alice-beaumont-ravenclaw]

A Momentary Lapse of Duty

A/N #1: Finally, the concert fic is out! So, this author’s note will mostly be links to things that will make the fic more enjoyable.

Luna Silver headcanons: Hat | Car | Watch 

Pink Floyd Concert: Set List | Concert recording | Playlist of the studio recording of the songs | Venice Concert broadcast (a shorter version of the same concert that was broadcasted)

Outfits: Alice | Luna (basically)

Alice was standing in the entryway of her house, looking out the window of the door. She glanced at her watch, which had a black strap and a gold-coloured case, before looking out the window again, clearly waiting for something. She was wearing a black psychedelic Pink Floyd t-shirt with a design inspired by the cover of “Wish You Were Here” at the front and the dates and locations of the 1975 tour at the back. She had paired it with a relaxed boyfriend fit denim shorts that had some abrasions, and a blue flannel checked long-sleeve shirt that used to belong to her brother Jacob. Her black Dr. Martens, black handbag, and light grey striped socks peeking out of her boots completed her look. 

She was fiddling with the tip of her braid when she saw a car parking in front of her house. A blond girl emerged from the turquoise Ford Escort MK1 1973, but before she could open the front gate, Alice opened her front door, waving at her.

“Finally! I was about to think we were going to miss the concert!” exclaimed Alice as she made her way to her friend.

Luna Silver, one of Ravenclaw’s beaters, had gotten two tickets to the Pink Floyd concert and had invited Alice to join her as they had gotten along during the short time Alice had been part of the Quidditch team. Not to mention Luna’s best friend Rohan was not interested in going to a Pink Floyd concert. 

As her former teammate approached her, her eyes widened when she noticed what Alice was wearing. It was eerily similar to her outfit, which was a blue flannel checked long-sleeve shirt, a Pink Floyd tee inspired by their “Dark Side of the Moon” album, brown ankle grazer trousers, and tan Timberland boots. Luna’s surprise faded when she noticed that the resemblance stopped there, as Alice was bare-faced, and her only accessory was her watch. On the other hand, Luna had a full face of makeup, with gold eyeshadow, black eyeliner on the upper lash line, mascara, and dark purple lips. She was wearing a choker and multiple layers of necklaces around her neck, a few bracelets of various sizes and colours and a watch on her right arm and a black leather bracelet on her left, not to mention the rings she was wearing. Alice was sure she had seen one of the rings Luna was wearing on Barnaby’s fingers.

“Nice outfit,” said Luna as Alice passed in front of her to get in the car. “Was partly expecting you to turn up in a cute summer dress or something.”

“For a Pink Floyd concert? Sure, if I wanted to stick out like a sore thumb. Anyway, you’ve seen what I wear during Quidditch practice, so you know I don’t always wear girly clothes,” pointed out Alice as she opened the door of the car. “Anyway, do you think this car will last long enough to get us to the Docklands and back?” she added looking at the vehicle.

“Oliver is an excellent car! Did a road trip one summer with it a few years back, and had no problems whatsoever,” pointed out Luna, getting in the driver’s side of the car.

“Oliver? You named your car?” asked Alice, staring at her as Luna started the engine and pulled onto the street.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No… Anyway, you said you got the car a few years back and went on a road trip, right?”

“Yeah,” replied Luna, wondering what she was getting at.

“You went on a road trip while illegally driving a car… That takes guts,” simply observed Alice. “Not surprising you dated Rath and Barnaby at the same time then. Rath seems like the jealous type…”

“We never actually dated… And how do you know about Rath, we kept our relationship a secret?” asked Luna, briefly glancing at her.

“You really think you can hide that kind of stuff from Penny and Andre?” replied Alice smirking.

“Well, I guess not,” said Luna, shaking her head with a small smile.

“You also dated Bill, right?”

“Again, we never actually dated…”

“Semantics. The point is… How is it to be romantically involved with a Weasley?”

“Which one?”

“Do you mean…? Well, hum, I guess in that case…” started saying Alice, flustered.

“I’m messin’ with you,” replied Luna, laughing.

“Oh! I was starting to think I had missed something…”

“Anyway, aren’t you going to tell me how I shouldn’t have broken Barnaby’s heart or something?” 

“Why? Love is a fickle thing. I’m actually more impressed that you broke up with Rath and survived to tell the tale.”

“She’s not that bad.”

“I’ve seen her wielding that bat. If she wanted, she could crack your skull open.”

“As much as imagining me being murdered by someone is fun, let’s return to the Weasley question. While being involved with Bill, he is different from Charlie, so I don’t think you can use my experience as a reference. Anyway, I wouldn’t be worried about your budding romance with Dragon Boy. That snog you shared in front of everyone…”

“It was just a kiss,” grumbled Alice, her face turning red.

“Sure. A kiss that lasted more than ten seconds,” replied Luna as she drove around looking for a parking spot. 

“Well, whatever it was, doesn’t mean anything for the future. While I do love him, I can’t predict the future. We are two in this relationship. He could lose interest in me now that he has me,” pondered Alice.

“Wow. You just started dating, and you already think like that? Cheer up, Alice. Dragon Boy has been gaga for you for some time now. Highly doubt he’s just going to drop you out of nowhere,” said Luna as she pulled on the hand brake.

Alice got out of the car and noticed a sign. “Luna, this says ‘Residents Only.’”

“Don’t worry. Jae hooked me up with this magical permit that’s good for everywhere,” said Luna as she placed a piece of paper on her windshield.

“How did…” started asking Alice.

“He didn’t tell, and I didn’t ask,” interrupted Luna, locking her car.

“Oh…”

“Now, come on, we don’t want to be late for the concert,” said Luna as she grabbed Alice’s wrist and started walking.

They made their way to the Docklands Arena, where a line had already formed, full of people waiting to get in.

“You have the tickets?” asked Alice as they went to the back of the line.

“Yup,” said Luna, turning her back to the Muggles in front of them. She discreetly took out her wand and waved it over her watch, the case opening up to reveal a small compartment. She took the tickets from said compartment, resulting in Alice furtively looking around.

“Did you seriously take those tickets out of your tiny watch in front of Muggles?” whispered Alice. “This goes against the Statute of Secrecy!”

“First of all, the Muggles are in front of us, and I turned my back, so don’t think they saw anything. Second, what do you care about the Statute? You broke so many rules at Hogwarts; I thought you would be the last person to care,” pointed out Luna.

“A plan my rule-breaking to reduce the risk of being caught. Call it a calculated risk,” explained Alice, looking around to make sure no Ministry employees had suddenly appeared to arrest them and bring them to Azkaban.

“Calm down, Alice, the Ministry won’t send us to Azkaban over a watch with an ancient Extension Charm,” said Luna, laughing as she patted Alice’s back.

They finally entered the arena, their eyes adjusting to the bright lights. They quickly found their seats and settled in before the concert began. Alice looked around, out of curiosity, at the audience. Some were young, about 20 years old, probably some of Pink Floyd more recent fans, while others were old enough to remember Pink Floyd at the time of Syd Barrett. There were some teenagers, but not that many. She raised her eyes toward the arena’s lights, thinking they ruined the whole rock mood a concert like this should have.

“The lights are awfully bright,” Alice remarked out loud.

“They’ll probably turn them off when the concert starts,” replied Luna as she tried to tighten her loose high ponytail, her tongue sticking out between her lips.

Alice kept looking around, not sure what else to say. She mostly interacted with Luna during Quidditch practice, so conversations had never really been part of their interactions. They talked, but never had extremely long conversations like she had with some of her other friends. 

Lost in these thoughts, she didn’t notice when the lights dimmed a little, and the music started playing softly as the crowd cheered. The guitar playing, as well as the crowds erupting cheers that followed, caught her attention and she looked around, noticing the lights had barely dimmed.

“Ugh,” she heard Luna grunt. “Are you telling me they won’t turn off the lights?”

“Maybe later?” suggested Alice.

“David Gilmour has started playing. The ideal time to turn them off has passed,” explained Luna.

Alice looked around, noticing that while many were glaring at the lights above them, all were enjoying the music. When the other band members appeared on the stage and started playing, the audience erupted into cheers again. 

Alice bit her thumb, concentrating on the music, her brows furrowed. She wasn’t that familiar with Pink Floyd. She had read about them after Luna had invited her to the concert and had listened to some of their records, but she wasn’t a longtime fan like Luna seemed to be. 

“What song is this?” whispered Alice, a few minutes into the song.

“Don’t you recognize it? It’s ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’!” replied Luna, just as Gilmour started to sing.

“Oh… right… The one written as a tribute to Syd Barrett…” said Alice, trying her best to hide that her knowledge of Pink Floyd was recent.

Luna looked at her with a raised eyebrow, staring at her awkward smile before returning her attention to the concert. She had no idea Alice had accepted her invite partly because she was curious to see what a rock concert was like, partly because Luna was so cool, you can’t say no to someone who is at that level of cool. She couldn’t just admit she had no idea who Pink Floyd was. 

Alice was lost in these thoughts when the saxophone made a high pitch sound at the end of the first song, which made her wince while the crowd was cheering. The cheers quieted down as the second song started. It was very calm, somewhat extraterrestrial. A few minutes in, the tempo completely changed and Gilmour began to sing again. Alice thought that the song’s intro didn’t match with its current beat. 

A soul in tension that's learning to fly

Condition grounded but determined to try

Alice glanced at Luna, who was enthralled by the concert. She turned her gaze back to the stage. She figured the sound of Pink Floyd was something you got used to, as she was mostly feeling confused.

At the end of the song, the group stopped playing as people cheered. David Gilmour waved a bit at the crowd before starting to speak.

“Thank you very much, indeed!” he said before the crowd cheered. 

“We’re going to play songs from the Momentary Lapse of Reason album for the first half of tonight,” he managed to say over the crowd’s clamour. “Are you ready, Guy?”

Guy Pratt nodded and started playing the beginning of the next song. 

Alice enjoyed the repetitive beat of that song and the echoey sound of their voices and the instruments. While she still looked pensive, she was tapping her feet to the beat. She couldn’t help but smile when she heard Humphrey Bogart’s distinctive voice over the music.

“You're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong,” she heard him say.

“Merlin! It’s a scene from Casablanca,” she whispered to herself.

“Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp,” said Humphrey Bogart.

“It’s the ‘We’ll always have Paris’ scene!” said Alice, beaming.

“You seem more excited about that than the concert,” pointed out Luna, staring at her friend, bemused.

“Ah, hum… Well, it is one of my favourite movies,” explained Alice, blushing.

“If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life,” said Bogart.

“But what about us,” said Alice, along with the voice of Ingrid Bergman, a line that the voice of the actress repeated a few times until only the music was playing.

“Wait... They didn’t include ‘We’ll always have Paris’ or ‘Here’s looking at you, kid’? What’s the point of including that scene if you won’t use the iconic lines from it?” complained Alice, to Luna’s amusement.

“Just enjoy the show. You can watch the movie tomorrow if you want, and you’ll get all the iconic lines,” teased Luna, patting her friend’s back.

Pink Floyd’s voice sounded robotic in the song after. She had a hard time understanding what they were saying or singing. Eventually, they started to play a calm song with a recurrent melody. As they weren’t singing, Alice closed her eyes, trying to envision something, to see what story the music was trying to tell, but the only thing that came to her mind was outer-space. She suddenly imagined herself wearing a Star Trek uniform and walking around the USS Enterprise. At least she thought it was the USS Enterprise. Her knowledge of Star Trek was limited to the two or three episodes she had seen on TV, which she had watched because the captain had a French name, yet spoke with a British accent. Alice was suddenly taken out of her reveries when the robotic voices returned. She thought this was a bizarre and very long song intro. 

The robotic voices stopped as suddenly as they started and were followed by the sound of a guitar and a bass. Alice had an expression of total confusion on her face. When the drums began to play, she couldn’t help but beat the rhythm by tapping her feet again. She was relieved when Gilmour started singing again. Pink Floyd songs seemed to have very disparate song intros. She didn’t remember them to be so all over the place when she listened to the records back home. Maybe she had listened to songs they had not played yet. As the song ended, at least, she thought it ended, as the instrumental parts were so heterogeneous, dogs or wolves appeared on a round screen behind the band, growling. 

“What the…?” mumbled Alice, staring at the screen.

“It’s because the song is Dogs Of War,” explained Luna.

“Why do we have visuals for that one song? Why couldn’t they show the Casablanca scene?”

“Still going on about that movie? They probably didn’t show the scene because of copyrights.”

Alice let out a sigh, tapping her fingers on her arm to the tempo of the music. The song was good, and the beat was catchy. She still would have rather seen Humphrey Bogarts’ face on that screen than a bunch of angry wolves. Those wolves reminded her too much of her encounter with Fenrir Greyback. A sense of relief washed over her when the song ended and the wolves disappeared.

“Thank you very much, indeed,” said David Gilmour as the crowd cheered. “We’ll do one more song, and then we’ll do the shit. This is On The Turning Way.”

The crowd clapped and whistled as Gilmour started to sing again. Alice was mostly surprised there wasn’t a long song intro. It was a smooth song, even when the music got more intense, it maintained its relative serene vibe. Alice closed her eyes, trying to absorb the music, to visualize it. It felt dramatic and self-assured. Luna and other people around her started to get up to dance to the music, but they were quickly told by security to sit down. At the end of the song, everyone got up to applaud them.

The lights got a bit brighter, indicating the beginning of the intermission. 

“Want anything?” asked Luna, as she got up.

“Hum, bottled water, if it’s not too much to ask,” replied Alice.

“Coming right up,” said Luna with a smile as she walked towards the exit.

Alice got up to stretch a bit, looking at her watch as she did so. The concert had started about an hour ago. She still had about an hour and a half to go, at least based on the review she had read in the paper. Another hour and thirty minutes of confusion with some moments of enjoyment… 

“Here you go!” said Luna with a grin, holding the bottle of water in front of Alice’s face.

“Oh, thanks,” replied Alice, blinking as she was coming out of her thoughts. She looked at Luna who was sipping a glass full of a golden liquid. “Is that… beer?” 

“Hmmm? Oh! Yeah, they didn’t have anything stronger. If there weren’t so many Muggles around, I’d take some from my watch… Want any?” offered Luna.

“Hum, no, I don’t drink.”

“Suit yourself.”

“But… the legal age of drinking in the UK is 18. You’re 17,” pointed out Alice.

“Technically, you have to be 18 to buy alcohol. You can drink beer and wine when you’re 16. Anyway, what are you? Some junior copper or something?”

“No, but what if they had asked for your ID? They might have thrown you out and you would have missed the rest of the concert.”

“They didn ask for it, and I had my fake ID with me, just in case,” replied Luna, taking it out of her pocket. “Honestly, Beaumont, you need to learn to relax. No wonder you always looked so tense every time I saw you. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders: the cursed vaults, Rakepick’s betrayal, your brother’s disappearance, getting good grades, playing Quidditch, solving your friends’ problems, being a Prefect… Honestly Alice, you need to let go. You don’t have to worry about everything and everyone,” said Luna, squeezing Alice’s shoulder with her free hand.

“Easier said than done… Every time a new vault releases its curse, everyone looks at me to solve it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy solving the mystery of the vaults, and I’ve learned so much in the process, but it’s just so much pressure when everyone waits for you to deal with the vaults. Sure, Dumbledore is all about me leaving it to the professors, but I’m the one who’s seen as the ‘Curse-Breaker,’ and everyone expects me to end the curse. And with the whole Rakepick betrayal…” said Alice, holding her head, her fingers entangled in her hair. “Ugh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bothering you with all this.”

“Hey, don’t worry. You clearly need to talk, and whenever you’re ready, I’m right here,” said Luna, smiling at Alice as she ruffled her hair. 

“Thanks,” said Alice with a small smile, briefly looking up as the lights dimmed a little. “Oh, looks like the concert is about to resume.”

“Better sit down then,” said Luna as they both sat in their seats.

The crowd cheered and whistled loudly as David Gilmour started to play the guitar. People were clapping to the beat of the music. Alice was tapping her heel to the ground as she began to once again wonder when they would start to sing. It eventually dawned on her, as she was pensively staring in front of her, that maybe some of Pink Floyd’s “songs” were actually instrumental tracks. It would make sense that some of the instrumental bits she thought were freakishly long song intros were actually stand-alone instrumental songs. But with multiple instrumental songs following one another, it was hard to tell them apart. Just as she was thinking that, the group started to sing. She slightly nodded her head to the music’s rhythm, her arms crossed, staring blankly in front of her.

Luna glanced at her briefly, before staring at her as she realized Alice looked more like someone who was there to write a dissertation on rock music or on Pink Floyd than someone who was there to simply enjoy themselves. Her slight bobbing of the head might have been a sign she was enjoying herself, but her blank expression worried Luna.

“Hey, are you ok?” she asked her fellow Ravenclaw when Pink Floyd had started another of their instrumental songs.

“Yeah, why?” said Alice, raising her eyebrows.

“You just don’t look like you are enjoying yourself,” pointed out Luna.

“I am. Admittedly, it’s not what I usually listen to, and I did think their song intros were odd until I realized they probably were instrumental ‘songs,’ and it made much more sense.”

“Wait, weren’t you familiar with Pink Floyd before coming?”

“Honestly… I might have done a quick research before coming to the concert to be a bit more familiar with them, but that’s pretty much it,” admitted Alice, looking away.

“But why did you accept when I invited you?”

“Well, part of me was curious to see what a real rock concert was like, though based on your reaction, bright lights and not being allowed to stand are not the norm. And I knew Pink Floyd by name… And what am I supposed to say to one of the coolest girls at school? That I only know the name but couldn’t name you one of their songs?”

“Coolest? Not sure about that,” said Luna, remembering her beloved hat from her 3rd year. She then shook her head with a smile. “And I thought you were a Pink Floyd fan because of that t-shirt you once wore at Quidditch practice.”

“T-shirt? What t-shirt?”

“The one with the Dark Side of the Moon album cover… Basically like the one I’m wearing right now.”

Alice looked at Luna’s t-shirt. “I thought it was a science t-shirt.”

“Science?”

“Yes, the dispersion of light by prisms because of refraction and Snell's law, first observed by Sir Isaac Newton.”

“A science lesson at a Pink Floyd concert? You are full of surprises, Alice,” said Luna with a side smile.

“Thanks, I guess,” replied Alice, furrowing her brows.

“What about the Pink Floyd tee you’re wearing now?”

“Bought it in Camden for the occasion.”

“You planned your outfit? I think Andre has an influence on you,” said Luna, laughing as she patted Alice’s head.

“Don’t tell him. I’ll never hear the end of it. Anyway, he’d probably say I needed more accessories,” said Alice, looking at Luna’s outfit.

“That style takes years to develop,” said Luna proudly. 

“Years?”

“Yup… Though I’ll admit the septum ring does a lot to create the right vibe. Oh! Maybe…”

“Don’t even think about it! I’m still overcoming the trauma of getting my ears pierced, and it was, like, 10 years ago.”

“Oof! You are such an angel!” exclaimed Luna, pinching her friend’s cheek.

“Ouch!” winced Alice as they heard a woman singing. “Wait? Why is a woman singing?”

“Oh, that’s The Great Gig In The Sky. It’s a song without any lyrics, the woman will just sing sounds,” explained Luna.

“That’s... original?” said Alice, raising her eyebrows as she looked at the stage.

Alice stared at the scene as she heard the woman singing. She clearly was vocally gifted, but it sometimes felt more like screaming than singing to Alice’s ears. Alice did think that using the human voice like that was clever, even if it wasn’t to her taste. It was as if the voice was like the other instruments, just producing notes. The crowd around her seemed to enjoy it as they loudly clapped as the song ended. 

The clapping turned into cheers as Pink Floyd started to play the next song, which Alice remembered hearing on the record she had bought: Wish You Were Here. She clapped along with the audience to the beat. When David Gilmour started singing, everyone sang along with him. Alice wasn’t familiar enough with the song to actually sing along, only swaying along to the rhythm. Still, she did think it gave the concert a pleasant atmosphere to hear the crowd singing a song they clearly loved.

The next song started off with a strange instrumental bit, making Alice wonder if it was another instrumental song until the bass started playing and everyone started clapping to the beat. Alice nodded her head to the tempo of the song. The clapping faded when the group began to sing, but the song and the beat enthralled everyone. Alice noticed Luna tapping her foot to the rhythm, and many around her were either nodding or swaying their body to the beat. She saw some people trying to get up before security quickly told them to sit.

The song ended, some people showing their appreciation by whistling before the cheering started again when the next song started. The beginning was very soft, which Alice found pleasant. As she could clearly hear the drums, she couldn’t help herself to air drum along with the beat. The saxophone gave the song a completely different vibe from the other songs. It felt more like jazz than rock, which was probably why Alice liked it and had a smile on her face. 

Her smile didn’t fade away during the next songs, the beat being very catchy. She even caught herself tapping her heel to the rhythm of the songs. The crowd started to sing again during “Another Brick In The Wall” and cheered as the music started to fade. David Gilmour approached the microphone to talk to the crowd.

“Yeah!” he shouted to the crowd’s cheer. “One more song before we go,” he said, making the crowd boo him. He laughed before adding, “We’re gonna do one last song for tonight. Thank you all very much for coming tonight. This is Comfortably Numb.”

The crowd once again cheered as he announced the song, while Alice thought the song’s name was appropriate to the way she was starting to feel. It was getting late, and her eyelid felt heavy. She sat back as they started playing, her elbow resting on the armrest and her cheek resting on her fist. It was a song with a slow pace that made Alice comfortably numb, to the point where she closed her eyes. She listened to the music, letting herself drift away. People cheering at the end took Alice out of her sleepy trance, and she clapped along with everyone else. The band bowed and waved as they left the stage, but the crowd kept on cheering, clearly wanting an encore. 

After about a minute or so of clapping, shouting, and cheering, the band reappeared on the stage, resulting in the cheers becoming louder. The songs of the encore were catchy with a fast beat, making Alice anything but sleepy. Luna even got up at some point to dance, but even if it was the encore, security quickly told her to sit down, or she would be kicked out. So everyone was limited to dance in their seats while clapping. Luna couldn’t help but smile when she noticed Alice moving her body and snapping her fingers to the music. At the end of the encore’s second song, the crowd got up to cheer and clap, showing their appreciation to the band. David Gilmour thanked the crowd before leaving the stage.

“So, did you enjoy the show?” asked Luna as they made their way toward the exit.

“Well, once I figured out that some songs were instrumental pieces, I did enjoy it more. Before that, I was a bit… befuddled.”

“Why didn’t you ask me about it sooner?”

“Well, I didn’t really want to admit I wasn’t familiar with Pink Floyd…”

“Am I really that intimidating?”

“I wouldn’t say intimidating… Just like one of the cool kids no one wants to disappoint.”

“How sweet of you,” said Luna, pinching Alice’s cheek. “Honestly though, I’m really not that cool. My roommates don’t think all the animals that hang out with me are so cool.”

“So that’s the smell that comes from your floor…” said Alice, rubbing her cheek.

“Hey! They do not smell!” replied Luna, lightly punching Alice’s shoulder.

“Joking! Bill mentioned how talented you are with animals, so for someone who has a hard time just petting some creatures in Care of Magical Creatures, that’s cool.”

“Meh, I’ll take it. Now get in the car,” said Luna shaking her head and smiling as she unlocked it.

They got into the car, and Luna turned on the radio as she drove. The late hour and the slight movements of the vehicle caused Alice to fall asleep. Noticing Alice had dozed off, Luna turned off the radio, a light smile on her lips. Parking in front of Alice’s house, she gently tapped her friend’s shoulder.

“Angel… Angel…” she softly said while tapping her shoulder.

“Jacob… No… Niffler…” mumbled Alice.

“Alice…”

“Mmm?” muttered Alice as she opened her eyes.

“You’re home,” said Luna, nodding toward the terraced house.

“Oh… Thanks. Wait, did I fall asleep?”

“It’s ok. It is pretty late.”

“Well, thanks again for tonight. I really enjoyed it,” said Alice as she left the car.

“Glad to hear. Goodnight,” said Luna, waving as she started to drive away.

Alice waved back, “‘Night!”

Alice kept waving until the car turned a corner.

A/N #2: I hope you enjoyed this fic! I would like to thank @lunasilvermorny​ for allowing me to write a fic with her precious MC (and for reading and commenting my fic to make sure I didn’t screw up her character). Here’s one additional link: London Arena atmosphere. If you are wondering why I wrote this concert with an atmosphere which is very far from the average rock concert, it’s because of the comments in that article of people who actually went to the Pink Floyd concert. Let me know what you thought in the comments! (Oh, and I kinda answer the question associated with the letter A in the 30 Day Alphabet OTP challenge.)

[scoundrels-in-love]

5 and 13! x

@clockworkswans Super late, so a tag in case you miss the response! Thank you so much for asking!

5. : K-Drama OTP(s)?

This is kind of funny because if I think about it, I love kdramas, but I don’t think I am person who typically gets all crazy about couple themselves, isolated from the story, or just... IDK, it’s hard to explain. But that aside, I do have an OTP!

Gang Doo and Moon Soo from Just Between Lovers. Will never not love them. My sweet, sweet traumatized babies that grew so much, together and individually. They nailed that sweet, sweet spot of ‘sort of enemies to friends to lovers’, starting from the kind of wrong foot and then discovering each other - and themselves - layer by layer. Brb I am getting emotional and need to clutch my chest for 5 minutes.

Some other couples I enjoyed.

Both couples in Goblin. While my feelings about some aspects of it all have gotten a lot more ambivalent over the years, I do have to be honest to the part of myself that loves them still rather unconditionally. There was something tragic and beautiful and trying to do right by each other, in the end, that really stuck with me.

Both couples of Run On. Seun Gyeom and Mi Joo make me feel all warm and happy and honestly, I don’t know if I want to date either of them or be either of them, so that’s that.

Although I am prepared to be let down by resolution of Dan Ah’s sexuality storyline resolution, I am still absolutely invested in everything that she and Yeong Hwa got going on. The tension, the redefining of dynamics and power balance, the way he makes her smile and she sees to the heart of his paintings, the way he just wants to get pegged so bad but won’t let her walk all over him as a person and an artist... Sexy.

Dan Oh and Haru from Extraordinary You. It’s not any sort of life-consuming love for them as a romantic couple, but it’s hard to not to root for them as they face so much together and come through kinder, stronger and more in love. I only want what’s best for them and, really, who wouldn’t?

Bok Joo and Joon Hyung from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo. Although I don’t think Joon Hyung is precious bean that can’t do any wrong (there were moments he was kind of a dick, even if it worked in comedic way), their relationship overall developed sweetly and endearingly and I definitely genuinely rooted for them and found them adorable. Also, it was my first kdrama, so they get shoutout for that. If they didn’t sell me on kdramas and kdrama romance, I wouldn’t be here in the first place.

+ Bonus

Not a kdrama, but Kurodachi from Cherry Magic is definitely got me more emotionally invested than most kdrama couples than I’ve seen. They had their messups, but overall, they were earnest and sweet, and so absolutely adorable and there wasn’t one moment where I would feel like I couldn’t absolutely root for them as individuals and as a couple.

++ Bonus 2: electric boogaloo Se Ra and Gong Myung from Into the Ring could very well end up here when I have watched more than 3 eps and skipped ahead a bit, because one single post credit scene made me feel more mushy feelings about their budding romance than many epic couples or famous dramas. Also, I adore their ‘I hate your guts’ to ‘I can respect that’ to ‘I would literally do the impossible for you’ journey for I am a simple bitch.

13: Top five K-Dramas?

*groans* It’s such a hard question. I hate ranking things. So I will only rank my favorite and the rest will be a random ass mess and I don’t know if I will stop at 5. This is my blog, I alter the rules as I please. *distressed noises*

1. Just Between Lovers. I’ve not been shy about loving this drama. I could ramble and ramble about it, but to preserve everyone involved, I will just say it’s, to me, the perfect ensemble story of gradual healing and overcoming trauma as found family. It hits like a freight train, but somehow you are put back together better than before. It’s sweet, it’s tragic, it’s funny in places and it’s comforting in this one big package. It’s embedded itself in part of my heart, a promise and understanding all at once. ‘Maybe it’s not the time, yet, but you will heal. I believe in you.’ And it makes me want to believe it, too.

It’s Okay, That’s Love. I don’t know how this would hold up, if I watched it now, and I am not saying it was perfect every step along the way, but in the end, it made me cry and it made me hopeful all at once, it comforted me in times when I really needed those exact words spoken to me and there was something so lovely about this found family.

Run On is tentatively on the list, because they might still absolutely tank it in the last 6 episodes, but I really want to believe they won’t, despite my previously mentioned lack of faith in quality wrap-up of a storyline. But even so, what it has already given to me, won’t lose its meaning if that happens. (Hah, do you get that convoluted reference?) And what it has given me is comforting, soft, character-driven story with cast full with compelling characters, many different friendships and a world that feels alive with many tiny details, yet not bloated. It’s story of healing and communication, a glimpse into profession I used to dream about, it makes me want to think about who I want to be as a person and believe just a little I could become them.

Goblin. Again, more ambivalent about it these days, but I can’t deny the power it had on me back when I watched it, from cinematography to use of OSTs which still remain some of my all time favorites, to the relationships between the four leads and the found family of it all. (Are we sensing a pattern here?)

To. Jenny It revealed the meaning of comfort show to me. It’s short and sweet and, in some ways, absolute musical nonsense. It injects seratonin directly into my brain and I have rewatched it like 4 or 5 times which is genuinely a record for me.

+ Bonus Cherry Magic. Sort of same as with To. Jenny, this is probably be going to be my comfort show if I ever get over the cringe of my failed fanfic attempt that haunts me three weeks later like some kind of disfigured ghoul. The show itself just makes me feel things which isn’t that easy to do.

Send me a kdrama ask?<3

[arcticdementor]

This was brought about by an article from Glenn Reynolds who says that despite the fact none of us agrees with woke bullshit, a tiny minority is succeeding in silencing the majority.

He’s right on that. what he’s wrong on is the roots of this: how we got where we are. How the left came to be in control. Why they think they can impose their crazy ideology and that “if anyone opposes it” (And I guarantee that’s how they look at it) it’s just “Some uneducated rednecks.” How we got to the point when the left is completely ignorant of history or really anything and trying to recreate the cultural revolution because they feel no one will oppose them.

What Glenn is missing, partly because honestly he was much further to the left 20 years ago, and partly because even the right lied to itself about it back then, is that anyone who was right enough to be conscious of how at odds they were with the loud sources of culture and what they then assumed was the majority has been biting his or her tongue for at least 35 years. I can’t say anything about before, because I wasn’t here.

I wasn’t at professional gatherings, where Republican presidents were referred to as the next incarnation of Hitler, and general applause was expected. I wasn’t at parties of well educated people where it was assumed “we’re all leftists together.”

But I presume, from books and conversations written from that time, that it was as bad at least 10 years before. Or call it 15.

For fifty years now, the way to signal you were upper class was to repeat at best euro-socialist and at worst outright communist shibboleths about how bad America was, how backward, and how great everywhere else was.

When the Soviet Union fell, the opinion amonth the bien pensants in the west was that “the good guys lost.”

For my entire life, if you aspired to a life in the arts, the sciences, or anything beyond semi-skilled (and even then) and you were a conservative, you’d BEST keep your mouth shut, and at worst signal centrist. And expect to pay for being centrist. For the last twenty years, the way to get ahead was to signal communist. Anything less than that, and you’d be hampering yourself. At best you’d be considered not very smart, at worst you’d be assumed to be evil.

…

I think the left has been in a (worse than normal) panic since they realized despite all their demonization Kyle Rittenshouse became an immediate folk hero. That is why there is razor wire around the capital, and why they have a love-hate relationship with those guarding them. Because they know the tide is turning.

Not that they want to admit it. Thereby they invent Quanon and other “conspiracies’ whipping up the people. Because it can’t be that they never had the people, they just had control of the means of mass communication AND managed to cow everyone who dissented into silence by destroying lives and reputations. No, their myth promises the people are with them. And they keep demanding we fall in line with their increasingly deranged play.

This is why instead of seeing Trump as the rebellion of the people: a shot over the prow as it were. Instead they must attribute to him Svengali-like powers to whip up the mob. Because only that can explain why their plan went awry. And why we keep resisting.

…

I’ll say it’s too late to avoid…. a more physical confrontation.

But for the sake of the sanity of the nation, for the sake of reclaiming the pudding heads who aren’t “political”, for the sake of telling the left they are not going to have it all their own way?

Shout, shout. let it all out.

Yes, many of you still have to dissemble in public settings, because otherwise you’ll be unemployed and blacklisted. And few, like me, can afford that.

So it’s time to let them know they are surrounded.

And yet even you can talk, even if on the net and under cover. And everyone else? Everyone who won’t lose their livelihood or life by talking: SHOUT SHOUT LET IT ALL OUT.

Let no display of leftist bullying in public pass unremarked. Tell hem they’re wrong and that you know they’re wrong. Tell them they aren’t the majority.

Make it HURT. Only hurt will penetrate the layer of illusion these people live under.

And it must be penetrated. Or civilization is lost.

No more hiding now. For we are nearing the day when the secrets of every heart will be laid bare.

If you can at all. If you can find a way even if that way is pseudonymous and covert? Publish, talk, scream. And let them be damned.

[rochey1010]

PART 3:

Ok, so this is about Eliott and the link between S5 and S6. Like Eliott out of everyone was crafted in this season so damn well. And yeah his arc in S6 was plotted here but it's the whole character. And it goes back to his S3 debut. France has remained so damn consistent with this character. Nothing is forced or out of place. It's a natural flow to this point now, and probably what is to come.

So just before i jump into S5. What do we know of the Eliott character? So we meet him in S3 and he's beautiful, like out of someones league beautiful. And he's mysterious, and has a loner vibe but from the trailer looks troubled. The trailer shows so much that will crop up again throughout the show in regards to Eliott. He enters the school with a prison atmosphere (just left one or is about to enter one). He quickly walks through, hurried, not wanting to make an imprint, hiding in his environment with the 'catch me if you can' vulnerable hoodie up style. Everyone notices him but he notices no one. He just wants to get this over with (same cycle different environment). The people either know him (Imane) are attracted to him (Alexia) or intrigued by the new guy (Emma). So he walks down the corridor and bumps into a very important person. That is Lucas and it's the first inkling from Eliott that something has penetrated his bleak dark world. The first hint of the light/dark motifs that S3 would be centered around. Before we know it's even a concept POLARIS is everywhere.

Eliott does something that i love. He stops, but doesn't turn around just yet, Maxence plays it like he's taking something in and waking up. And then he turns and looks, and we get everything in that look to Lucas. You feel his intrigue, attraction, fixation, awe of this unknown guy. That this guy has shook his world. And then he does something else i love. This tiny wry smile appears for like a milisecond, and then he looks him up and down signalling to the audience that we're in for a hell of a ride, and that Eliott is showing some playfullness towards Lucas. The hint that he's gonna pursue him. Then crucially he walks down the corridor to Colouring - In motion (range remix) awesome and reflective lyrics. Into the black, back into the dark he goes. And this is a direct contrast to Eliott and his world. Sees nobody but Lucas and is turned towards him looking, and then there's Lucas turned towards Eliott but oblivious and not looking.

So as the season goes on we see that he is all those things but so much more. He has a romantic, goofy, sweet and tender side, he's very vulnerable and fragile but he also has a darkness and it comes out as fear, anger, jealousy etc. He's the Even that we see snap at times e.g. class outburst, Chloe, Lucille.

And another thing is that he's the Even that gets developed off screen with the brilliant utilisation of his insta for mental/emotional state. It fits Eliott with the mystery, puzzles, metaphors and plot foreshadowing that takes us through the season. It's Eliott's journal and we're the therapists in a session with him. Each time he posts isn't fickle. Everything has meaning, everything connects and it's linked up so well onscreen. So we see Eliott onscreen but we see into Eliott offscreen. And that mental illness insight has continued and remains true to not only real life but who Eliott is.

We find out that he has so much fear. That it makes him hide in relationships and quite literally hide in the dark. That he created his magnum opus POLARIS that is all about fear and running from true connection. That has so much bipolar symbolism in it and that has Eliott settling in this dark world of MI. Because as any one who can identify with Eliott, sometimes there is a morbid comfort in staying stagnant and not reaching for something because deep down the light and happiness is something you don't deserve. It's horrible negative feelings of shame, embarassment, and self loathing that permeates. Anyone that struggles with their mental health will attest to this.

So he, facing this fear reaches for Lucas, and they fall in love. Eliott is chasing the light in Lucas that has made him want to enjoy life again. Then something horrible happens, Eliott is confronted with all his worst fears of himself being reinforced by the one he loves the most. Eliott being a crazy person that Lucas doesn't have time for. He's literally slapped in the face with his SKAM. And he's the Even that literally bleeds out right there on the screen. There's no mask which racoon Eliott is adept with it. He took it off and it shows how deep he was in with Lucas as he can't even pretend anymore. In that moment he is truly exposed and to this day it's heartbreaking to watch. He also does something that no other Even did either. He begins to ghost Lucas in this scene with the hair ruffle and that truly disappointed look when he's backing away. It's almost like a self resignation in himself like "well i was right, the light is not my world, and i shouldn't have been stupid enough to think this would have gone any other way" and he's truly disappointed and so damn heartbroken.

So he goes back to the ex thinking it's a clean break. But he realises he can't stop what he feels for lucas. So he pines on his insta, trying to reach out and trying to be honest but comes to the conclusion the only way to have lucas is to hide his darkness (bipolar). So they reconcile and are happy, and then it goes to absolute shit. He has a manic episode and the truth comes out. Eliott runs again back to the dark. Back to the comfort of his world. Doesn't expect anything, doesn't reach out because he has no hope that he can be loved with this defect, and just cries. 😭 in total despair. It's that level of self loathing that keeps cropping up rooted in his MI.

Lucas proves him wrong and saves him (this is crucial for Eliott's S6 arc) and he accepts him but now we see that Eliott still doesn't accept himself (S5, S6) minute par minute is a very important scene that is being revisited in S6 and will be crucial for Elu. Eliott wants to end the relationship, he sees no way it can work, and Lucas fights and gives him a perspective to hold onto.

Sorry i got into a S3 character study there. But i felt it was the only way to show how Eliott as a character has been built through the show and layered with so much depth but so much darkness. He's actually not only one of the darkest Even's but one of the darkest SKAM characters. And the reason i feel that, is because of the contradiction of the character. That he has such a postive sunshine aura and will smile at anyone and instantly bring a warmth. But yet has this deep well of struggle and pain that you can feel is there underneath that "I'm the happiest person in the world" energy. And you have to ask yourself how much of that is Eliott projecting to keep the demons at bay? As someone who can relate to MI. There is a level of exhaustion where you feel like you pep talk yourself on an almost daily basis. Quite literally you fake it untill you make it. And i just feel that Eliott is such a walking dichotomy between 2 extremes. That he perfectly represents the bipolarity of this character.

But rambling aside, so that's the Eliott we know and in S5 we kick off his arc with an insta post. He posts his new job 'new job, new school, same boyfriend' caption with a pic of the video club. Lucas follows it up with 'and soon, new appartment'. This tells us Eliott has not only started working but he's in Uni now and about to move in with Lucas. The video club is also dropping the hint that Eliott has found his new vocation within art. And that is movies. Now, what we know of Eliott is that he dabbled. He had many artsy interests. And we saw his love for not only movies (POLARIS) but he enjoyed literature (Virginia Woolf) and painting (Jackson Pollock) and he liked greek prose (Apollo and Hyacinth, Pygmalion). He had an affinity for artists who suffered with mental illness (pollock and Woolf both bipolar) and a true identity fixation with Woolf (mentally ill, bisexual and drowned through suicide) now that takes on a much more serious meaning with what Eliott revealed about suicide in S6. So he was an artsy hipster and he added graffiti and urbex too. A very talented and creative guy is our Eliott.

But considering POLARIS was how we were introduced to Eliott and that art side. We had to have known that his chosen field would have been movies, as it is now confirmed with his job, his uni project and his insta this season focusing on movies. How they add to the plot and how he's using them as inspiration for his project.

So it's setting him up to make a movie and to bring back something from his past that failed for him, and could have led to a spiral as we don't know how long after that all the Idriss stuff went down. All we know is that Idriss was there with him in the video interviewing him as he explained POLARIS. So the fallout must have been very soon after. And the failure of the movie on top of that must have been horrible for Eliott.

Lucas posts instas of him basically of him supporting eliott with this job and visiting him etc. So we see Eliott loves his job. And S6 shows us this more in depth.

The next we see of Eliott is a nightclub scene of new years and just basically the gang and elu happy, having fun and in love. It's just showing you for Eliott that he's come so far. Obviously we know what happens with Arthur so i won't get into that. Then there's the house warming and this is a crucial scene because Eliott has to explain something, and the audience is learning something. That this is the 2nd house warming and the 1st had to be cancelled. Eliott starts to explain himself and it's same feelings in regards to the mental illness again. Maxence plays it like Eliott is so fragile, that he's vulnerable and embarassed, and it oozes out of him. That Eliott finds it hard to go to that place where he has to talk about his mental illness. We see Eliott struggle to get the words out, look over towards Lucas, Lucas quietly reassures him and then steps in when he senses that it's too much. We see Eliott curl into Lucas in gratitude and like a child who needs comfort. And again it tells you that Eliott is very affected by his bipolar. That it's a huge effort for him to confront it and even talk about it. And now you see how it's such a focus in regards to power and agency over himself, the fear of not having it, how he can help others and how he frames it in his love with Lucas.

"And i have Lucas...i can't lose this"

That this is the crux of everything. That all the fears, insecurities, feelings are rooted in his SKAM. And we further see this explored as we begin to see the domestic scenes between Elu. How Eliott doesn't seem to be around the chaotic boygroup like the fanbase thought he would. And that's an issue because we have to admit to ourselves that we built Eliott up in a certain way, and we expected him to integrate with the gang, but the show naturally evolved Eliott the way the character is at his core. And that is why his spirit animal is a raccoon (curious, intelligent, friendly, mischievious, nocturnal, wild at heart, will lash out if threatened or cornered, wears a mask said to protect against night glare) basically Eliott is at heart a wild creature, that he goes off at night exploring, that he's chaotic in nature and a lone wolf. That he gravitates towards situations and behaviours that reflect his inner nature. That is who Eliott is.

So we see a lot of chaos and loudness in the boygroup centered in Elu's appartment in early S5. Lucas joins in and they scream over social media, and they literally hangout there all the time. After the party they stay the whole weekend, and Lucas does eventually say guys c'mon not tonight it's date night with Eliott. But you're shown basically that they do it alot. And probably more hangouts happened off screen. Crucially you're shown Eliott is not there joining in on the chaos. And in S5 the boygang were dialed up in energy and i don't think that's a coincidence at all. They were so much that even i felt over stimulated. Now like i said i do think this is important for Eliott and important to his arc. He told Lola that he needed something for himself in the urbex and that he needs to be by himself and breathe. I can attest that people who suffer from mental illness need to get the fuck away sometimes. That the mind becomes chaos and over stimulated and you need to recharge your batteries in a safe space. I believe, and i think S6 is showing this, that this is what happened with Eliott. That it was too much, and in his own love nest, so he left Lucas to do what he wanted with his beloved friends, never kicked up a fuss and just went and did his own thing e.g. urbex and otteli. That he found peace in this natural art environment channeling his raccoon and made it a safe space. And that now Lucas is shown hanging out a lot with the boygang and Eliott is otteli the extreme urbexer. I also believe that this may come up between them as part of minute par minute. That they may be letting things slide on both sides for fear of upsetting the other. In S6 Lucas was hanging out with the boygang sans Eliott and Eliott was alone and able to go help Lola at a crucial moment. Lucas is out of the loop as he was away and that caused conflict between Elu the next morning. I think all of this will finally come to a head in the following weeks.

At one point under all the fanbase jokes and memes about Eliott and Lucas being adoptive parents to these idiots. It start's getting serious, because we find out Eliott has been going through a depressive spell. And while all this shit was happening too. That he was probably going through one as far back as the house warming, and put a brave face on. That him waking up at 3pm was part of it or even a hint to Otteli urbexing. But they show you that the boys wake him up. That he's not part of the meeting but joins later.

And then another scene that sets up Otteli the raccoon urbexer. He brings the gang to an abandoned building. This is the confirmation of what the fanbase always suspected about Eliott. That he has an urban exploration hobby. With La Petite Ceinture it was debated that Eliott liked to explore the Parisian underbelly in S3 but it wasn't expanded on. Now we see it. And Eliott brings sprays and they graffiti and have fun. This sets up so many things e.g. urbex, otteli tag, street art and the expression of art as a seasonal theme focussed on Eliott. This clip is about Arthur but now looking back it's actually Eliott. It sets up his hobby, how he helps people using art, how specifically he expresses himself through art, his secret identity, and his passion for urbex. All in this little clip. To add he's already tagged the building, probably when he found it. He uploads graffiti insta art that day of him in practice. Once again it's positive art and it's a beautiful flower. And in S6 we see all this. Eliott as an artist is a direct contrast to Lola and when Lola expresses herself through art it reflects through damage and breakage, ugly and negative depressing photography. I believe this is a theme and we see it with Lola and Eliott. Eliott will use his art to help her and seeing how he expresses love and connection through art e.g. polaris, love mural, friendship mural, possible art we have yet to see. Lola will change her view of not only the world but of how she expresses herself artistically. I do believe that is a theme of S6.

Then Eliott goes away for a few weeks. Lucas is asked about him and he lets the audience know that Eliott is struggling with his mental illness and lucas can do nothing but love him and wait. The week after Eliott posts on insta a cuddle selfie with the caption 'spring of the senses' and a hedgehog emoji. This tells us that Eliott is out of his depressive spell, that he's grateful for Lucas and considers it a rebirth. Again we see that Eliott's MI is ongoing and doesn't just get fixed in this relationship. We see Lucas's maturity with Eliott's illness but we also see hints that this mental illness is a weight on the relationship. That Eliott has sorta hinged the love on his mental health. That there's a theme in S6 right now of Eliott trying to lead Lola out of the darkness that he once found himself in. That Eliott himself was led out of the darkness by Lucas but there are now issues of agency and capability. That he fixates on this sorta 'saviour complex' maybe, and it'll be something very important for his rock bottom moment. Maybe Eliott must face and save himself this time to bring his arc full circle.

There are little hints which i don't think are accidental for Elu in S5. One of them is Lucas being late to the laser tag. Now i must stress Lucas is never late. That's Eliott's department, and the fanbase picked up on it. And i think it was to hint at Elu issues. Also when Lucas has his outburst at Arthur on Valentines, and Arthur rips into him. If you look at Lucas you see that he goes to say something, like he's trying to explain something but stops and doesn't continue. And the way Axel plays it is like Lucas looks stressed and strained. Again i don't think that's an accident at all. There's issues at home clearly.

Then Eliott shows up for the holiday. And he rents and drives the van for the gang. We see Elu domestic and in love, and again a pattern, as once again in S6 they'll fight but make up being all cuddly again. We see it when Eliott posts a love declaration to Lucas 2 days after their big Idriss fight in S4, we see it in S6 when they fight and then post a couples selfie later on. And it's probably hinted at here. They fought in the background at some point and are now super in love. So the show is depicting that they'll argue and still love each other. But it's also depicting issues being pushed to the side so they can be in love again (love bubble).

Ok, so Eliott is super happy and bouncy sunshine just loving life and Lucas. At one point he falls in love with a bunny he names Fifi. Now we see this is a habit as he also fell in love with a chocolate labrador and tried to steal him in the past. So Eliott just responds to vulnerability with affection and adoption e.g. lab, fifi, taking lola under his wing. For all his demons we see Eliott has a lot to offer the world. He's just well meaning and cares. Lucas gives into his pleading which is cute and then Fifi is killed and Eliott is heartbroken. So we see he gets attached to things and he puts a lot into that attachment. And when it backfires it hurts. Now i don't know if this is true but someone from that group chat leaked that Eliott was supposed to have an episode but it was cut. If true it again highlights how stressors can make Eliott spiral and he may spiral again (S6) but again i don't know if that S5 spiral is true, so i'm not gonna go further into that.

So then there's the cheating conversation and Eliott gives his view and then answers Bas's question. He's aware of what he did to Lucille. He says he's not proud of it but he emphasises Lucas's importance to him. He does it again in S6 and he's hinged his mental health on it which is crucial. Again it's just Eliott being Eliott. A hipster view of humanity, and not really judging anybody in particular. Just a general statement of the human condition. I just feel it's Eliott wanting to see the better in everything and not label anyone specifically.

You do see though that oblivious nature to Eliott's perspective. Like he says this around Lucas who has huge abandonment issues. Now i must stress it's not Eliott's fault because Lucas shows with Arthur later on that he hasn't confided these fears in Eliott. So Eliott is kind of blind here. Like he's playing with Lucas's hair. He's not even talking about their relationship. So i feel bad for the attacks that happened on Eliott. But it sets up how Eliott being friends with Lola is going to lead to miscommunication and mistrust. And it's setting up when Lucas comes clean to Eliott about his fears how puzzled Eliott's going to be, how on another page Eliott is. And it's setting up Eliott finally declaring to Lucas himself how much he means to him.

Then as Lucas is talking to Arthur about Eliott, Eliott bursts in early in the morning super sunshine giving zero fucks cuddling and kissing Lucas. And it shows that divide right in front of Arthur. How Lucas is like all worried and stressed over Eliott straying and then a second later he's all loved up and happy and just pushes that shit to one side. Like Lucas literally turns it off and on in this scene. And Eliott has no idea his boyfriend feels like this. This is the definition of the love bubble. And look at how well Lucas's hides this. That scene shows it all. It also sets up Eliott having a friend in a girl (Lucas and pansexuality) and Lucas fearing that Eliott will find something better and leave Lucas, it sets up the movie spoiler and how Lucas will take it, and it sets up the abandonment issues coming to the forefront in S6. It sets up them both understanding just how much they've been afraid to share and it sets up them trying to keep the relationship in the honeymoon mode. They're basically afraid to be real.

Last we see of Eliott he is back in that building and partying and vibing being Eliott. He then paints another mural. This time it's a friendship mural. And cements Eliott's art being used as a theme for the season e.g. S3 love, S5 friendship, S6 connection (upcoming theory). He is used to wrap up Arthur's themes and motifs in his season (Arthur fixated on space and the cosmos and using his insta to reflect the vacumn and loneliness of being HOH) now Arthur is among this huge cosmos grounded through the connection of friendship. It sets up the completion of the gang being at the forefront of the show, it shows the importance of them in each others lives. But crucially it shows Eliott seperated from that. So it is here where we see that Eliott doesn't include himself in the mural. This is Eliott establishing himself as a lone wolf on the periphery of connection. That he also has a perspective because he's on the periphery of the group, which serves him in S6 and connects him to the story. That he's not insulated, so can navigate the bigger picture. Can see what the group can't. It also sets up no matter how deep the demons run in Eliott he can still see love, positivity and connection in the world. That he gives back through his art. So the friendship mural was a gift to the gang and because he loves Lucas and knows the place the gang have in Lucas's life. And he has never interferred in that, or felt threatened. We see how Lucas looks at him and the gratitute and love coming from him.

Then Lucas posts an insta of him and Eliott in front of the mural holding hands. We see that Lucas has brought Eliott into the mural to say you're important to me too. But we see that he's there through Lucas and not because he belongs there. We see that Eliott doesn't feel a place in this group. That he'll be at the big events but other than that Eliott may be yet to find his place, or it could just simply be that Eliott forms small connections and not big ones. And now in S6 with his friendship with Lola and what he said in the church about not being comfortable around people? I took that to mean large groups and i took it to mean Eliott expressing himself with his MI and largely being an introverted person, as introverted people can be drained by their environment.

Finally i just wanted to address what Maxence said in the recent interview about. "He's lonely" first of all i was sad because i feel deeply for Eliott, but i'm also trying to work out what this means. Does he mean Eliott's lonely right now, or always has been? Is it to do with Lucas spending a lot of time away from him and it's caused him to try to find a distraction of his own? Is it to do with his introverted nature? Is it to do with him wanting someone to understand him? Is this his arc, to accept that's it's ok to be alone and not feel shamed, or is it simply his mental illness making him feel out of step with everyone? I haven't worked it out yet as you can see all the questions. But i may do a seperate post on this at some point. But i do believe right now it adds to the S6 themes of insulation v isolation.

My final post will be about Eliott and Lola's friendship. Thanks for reading. 💜

[btgalaxy]

Moonlight - Jungkook wolf!au

➳ pairing: jungkook x reader

➳ genre: wolf!au, a little bit of everything tbh; angst, fluff, smut

➳ word count: 4.6k

warnings: oral sex, fingering

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Chapter 9

When Jungkook wakes, you’re still vulnerable in a deep slumber, weighing down on one of his arms. His eyes slowly focus in on the ceiling, feeling only the warm gusts of breath against his palm from your slightly parted lips. Why does he have to be so impulsive sometimes? It’s like he can’t hold back, as much as he wants to and tells himself it’s not the right course of action he just cannot stop himself from submitting to his inner Alpha instincts telling him to go crazy. And you thinking he doesn’t want you? You couldn’t be more wrong.

Everyday he ends up at the packhouse after leaving you in the morning, only able to envision the sight of you with strands of hair strewn across your face, sticking to your lips and your silk nightdress looming dangerously low on your chest to reveal some of the supple flesh that makes him want to reach out and trace the curve of your breast, feeling the way you automatically press into him. He wants it so badly. He agonises everyday with his hand down the front of his jeans behind his desk, rapidly searching for something to relieve this paralysing ache, but he’s never left fully satisfied. He still yearns for more, for you.

You stir slightly in your sleep, turning around to face him and nuzzle into his bare chest and his arm tightens around your form, gently running his fingertips along the skin of your arm. All he wants to do is protect you. He couldn’t bear seeing you hurt; it might nearly kill him. Even worse, the thought of you being in another man’s arms, kissing him, caring for him, loving him. He subconsciously curls around you closer. He can’t think about that.

In fact, he doesn’t want to find the Hoseok boy from your old pack; he doesn’t want to know anything about the little shit, but he’ll do it for you. If it at least stops you from contacting that damn unmated Alpha Taehyung from Crimson Lake then he’ll do anything. And he truly does want to see you happy- something he isn’t entirely sure he’s experienced much of since you got here, so, despite being angry finding you on the phone to that imbecile Alpha, he’ll do it. Stupid fuckin’ Taehyung.

He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before slipping from your grip and the security of the duvet and staggering over to the cupboard to yank a jumper from the hanger, but not before he notices a broken piece of cardboard that flies to his feet. He leans down and takes it between his thumb and forefinger, glancing at your sleeping form briefly to check you’re still dead asleep, then brings out the rest of the box.

“Shit,” he mutters quietly to himself. The lid is broken. The lid has been broken by someone, and that someone would never be Jin, he wouldn’t have the nerve, nor Jimin- he knows all about Jungkook’s history already. It has to have been you. He swallows down the bile biting at his throat when he sees a glimpse of himself and his father many years ago; a brief slice of history sized down into a tiny polaroid, coated now in a thin layer of dust. He swiftly places the broken top back on, shoving the whole thing back into the cupboard and retrieving a jumper, deftly ignorant to the reality.

It’s a good few hours later that you wake up, still feeling Jungkook’s phantom touch across your skin, lingering like twilight hues. His scent is smothered over the bed sheets, so you bury your face into the fabric and just inhale deeply, already missing his arms around, holding you protectively. How can he go from being such a gorgeous, affectionate mate to some crazy, possessive Alpha overnight? He’s not the only one suffering from migraines at the hands of this relationship.

Reluctant to leave the aroma, you groan to get up, clicking your neck back and sliding from the cushioned mattress to your feet, barely awake as you meander into the bathroom to wet your face and brush your teeth.

“Y/N?” Jin’s voice echoes from outside your room. You hum loudly in response, prompting his entrance.

“You look well-slept,” he smiles slightly from the doorframe, watching you brush your teeth with hooded eyes.

You try to mumble a retort with a mouthful of foaming water, but the most you come out with is an indistinguishable grunt with bits of toothpaste spattering on the floor.

“Red Moon’s Luna everyone,” Jin applauds sarcastically, eyes glossing with amusement.

You spit into the sink, “Funny.”

“I like to think I am.”

You pat your mouth dry with the towel, wiping away the excess on your lips before sighing, “So what’s the plan for today?”

Jin slumps against the side of the door, crossing his arms over, “Well, Alpha gave me this phone and told me-“

“He gave you your own phone?” Your eyes swell with jealousy, focusing in on the small device your guard pulls from his pocket.

He softly retreats, “Yes… he did… he told me that I should wait for his text, and in the meantime there are some board games in the cupboard in his office…”

Your eyes are still glazing over his pocket, holding the small cell, “But your own phone…”

“Why is that such a big deal?” He laughs, but you can see he’s a tad unnerved by your obsession.

You sigh, despondently, “I wish he trusted me that much.”

Jin laughs at your misery, ushering you to get ready, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Jin wins four rounds of monopoly, but you’re sure he’s stealing from the bank. Then he beats you at Scrabble too, and cards. Cheat, rummy, sevens, trumps. You aren’t particularly good at those types of things anyhow, never have been. And Jin seems to be some kind of a professional, with all of his fancy shuffling and smug moves. You nearly want to strangle him.

During one game of Cluedo, you fake going to the bathroom, to hide around the corner and peer out into the lounge to see him swiftly peeking at the result cards. You huff quietly, grimacing acutely at the sight in front of you.

“I knew you were cheating!” You jump out.

Jin’s head snaps up towards you, hands frantically recoiling from small pack of cards centre of the board, “What? Luna-“

“Don’t Luna me!”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“I watched you!”

“You were in the toilet!”

You continue to bicker like this what feels like endlessly, countering each other with even the pettiest of retorts, but you’re stubborn and he’s too proud. You, however, are also immensely lazy and can’t be arsed to fight with him for hours on end.

“Whatever, I’m sick of board games anyway,” you grumble, surrendering and taking a seat on the sofa behind him curled up on the floor in front of the coffee table.

“We could watch some TV?” He suggests, clambering to his feet.

“I wanna go for a run,” you announce, making him still, “My wolf has been cooped up for quite a while now.”

You’re aware it’s awkward, bringing this up after last time. But truly your wolf hasn’t gone for a run for nearly a couple of weeks now, and back at Scarlet Oak you were out all the time with Hobi or your father, or pack runs. Do they even have those here?

“Luna, we should wait for Alpha Jungkook’s text.” His voice is firm and official, and you hate how he’s so compliant to his Alpha’s commands, unlike you. You guess if you were at the butt of Jungkook’s wraith you might feel the same though.

You exhale deliberately loud, throwing your head back to look up into the spherical chandelier bulbs, “Well we’ve got to do something because I’ll go out of my mind if I have to play with a cheater any longer.”

Jin frowns, “So… TV then?”

“I wanna eat something.”

“I can do food,” he nods mostly to himself, turning gently on his heel and striding towards the kitchen. You immediately rise to your feet, taking a blanket from the sofa and wrapping it round your shoulders to pad behind him, trailing over to the breakfast bar.

You slide onto one of the stools, settling your elbows on the surface and placing your head in your hands, eyes scrutinising his every move like a hawk surveying its prey. It’s instantly clear cooking isn’t something new to the man, the way he glides from one ingredient to the next, effortlessly bringing about a scent that could nearly beat the one of your mate, lingering in your bedsheets.

You wait for some time in silence, watching him throw ingredients into a pot and slowly begin to stir.

“Do you like to cook?” The corner of your lips poke upwards into your cheeks slightly, blossoming beneath your eyes.

He shrugs, looking over his shoulder at you, “My mother showed me how. Said she doesn’t want my mate to be stuck with someone that can’t cook, like my dad.” You smile brighter in response, lying down your arms and placing your cheek to rest on the back of your hand.

“What are your family like?”

Jin continues to stir in the stainless steel pot bubbling on the stove, “Well, my dad’s obviously an Epsilon, like I am. And my mother was just a normal pack wolf, whose rank was raised ever so slightly by my dad. They pester each other a lot, but they love each other.”

“Any siblings?” You poke further into his personal life, enjoying the ability to pry freely, unlike your meddling into Jungkook’s family life.

“Nope, just me. I was a nightmare child apparently- enough to put my parents off having another,” he admits, and your teeth clamp over your lip as you let out a laugh.

“God, I couldn’t picture that,” you tease, tapping your nails against the marble counter.

“Shut up and eat your food,” he shakes his head, bringing over the pot and placing it between the two of you on the table then retrieving two bowls from one of the cupboards. “Hope you like soup.”

You shrug teasingly, before smiling at his grimacing expression and taking a mouthful. Your father says that soup is good for the soul, soothing for it. Then he’d make a joke about how it’s the sweat or tears of some chicken God which you used to pray to as a kid, thinking you’d be blessed with more chicken. It was a long shot, you always knew, but you still liked the idea.

You were always very prone to outside influences, picking up different habits and concepts from those around you. Hobi you took a lot from; the two of you think the same way. After years spent alongside each other, nearly joined at the hip, you became alarmingly similar, from everything down to the position you sleep in. It unsettles the food digesting to think about him though, where he is, what state he’s in. You focus back on Jin, who’s pulled out the cell-phone from his pocket to glaze over the screen.

“What is it?” You ask, bringing another spoonful of broth to your lips, “Is it Jungkook?”

Jin nods, taking a mouthful himself, “He says we should go down to him as soon as possible.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” And he begins speeding up with his food.

It’s mid-afternoon by the time you finish and clean up everything, bundling into Jin’s jeep with profound haste. You miss your mate already, his scent only lingering faintly around the house leaving you with just enough to want more. You’re trying hard not to become completely dependent on him, his love- if anything were to happen to him, you don’t want to be left empty and lonely, or just be too co-dependent either way. You value your individualism, and don’t want to be clouded by your wolf’s constant yearning for her mate, but it seems that’s easier said than done.

The town is quiet, as usual. Just a few pack wolves about a strip of greenery, hosting a BBQ for their families. It’s so unbelievably mundane you envy the whole carefree atmosphere, with some of the older wolves shifted and racing across the turf at top speed, whirring by like a blur. You sigh, resting your head against the doorframe of the jeep and running your teeth over your lower lip. You aren’t sure if life will ever be that same level of easiness again.

Reaching a meeting room in the pack house, Jungkook and Jimin are sat across from each other at a large oak table, conversing tensely over something you’re uninformed of. Jungkook spots you immediately, but he doesn’t smile, he looks concerned, agitated, and your stomach starts to churn.

“What is it?” You ask, blatantly. You can already see something’s wrong, and you don’t want to beat around the bush like he does with every other uncomfortable subject. Him and his Beta exchange a knowing look, your mate rising to his feet seconds later to come and greet you with a hand to your waist.

“Did you have a good day?” He asks, ignorantly.

You frown in response, looking past him at Jimin, “What is it?”

The Beta freezes under your glare, glancing to his lap as Jungkook sighs, pulling you closer, “We looked into the Hoseok case,” he reveals, holding you against him to soften the blow of anxiety that drains you of any other emotion.

Your skin pales, “Hobi? You’ve found him?” You swallow back the apprehension nipping at your mind, “You- Is he…” You try not to think the worst, but the whole situation speaks otherwise.

Jungkook brings you to sit down at the table, gently caressing your side, “He’s not dead.”

You can finally breathe at the words, exhaling and closing your eyes to restore your shattering heart at the thought of your best friend’s death.

Then Jungkook speaks again, “But he was seen by an Epsilon near Red Moon, with a man identified as Min Yoongi.” What?

It doesn’t make any sense. Yoongi with Hobi? You never even met Yoongi, let alone Hobi. Why on earth were they together near Red Moon? Why the hell is Hobi even near Red Moon? The last time you saw him was with your father in Scarlet Oak, perhaps upset you were leaving, but nothing insinuated he would follow you all the way here. Is that what he’s doing? Following you? But then why wouldn’t he answer his phone? Your head spins.

“With Yoongi? Yoongi as in June’s…,” you struggle to label the relationship, “June’s- June’s ex?” But June slept with Hobi, so why would the two of them get all buddy-buddy?

“We confirmed it over the phone with her today,” Jimin tells you from the other side of the table, pushing across his phone to show a text image to June. The picture isn’t of Hobi, but for the first time you see Yoongi. He’s handsome, of course. You expect nothing less of a boyfriend of June’s. But something about him looks so deadly sinister, his jaw clenched and lips pursed into a tight line as he leans against a tree, eyeing the landscape cautiously.

“What’s he doing?” You mutter, reaching for the device, but before you’re able to, Jungkook draws your attention.

“We haven’t made any correlations yet, but I have certain theories,” he mumbles, looking off to the side with a subtle anger burning behind his eyes.

You turn towards him, “Theories?”

“We’ll look into it more for you, and as soon as we have some definite answers you’ll be the first to know, okay?”

You nod slowly, numbly, unable to look him in the eye, enveloped in a hurricane of anxiety and panic.

“Jin, you can go home. I’ll drive Y/N back.”

Your mate guides you towards his car, but it all seems like a dream, the tension and confusion leaving you lost. He opens the door for you and you slide in, swallowing back the concern as you buckle yourself into the seat.

Maybe Yoongi is mad at Hobi for sleeping with June? Is Hobi safe? What if Yoongi dragged Hobi over to Red Moon so that Jungkook would deal with him? But, Jungkook wouldn’t do that, would he? Not after everything that’s happened- he wouldn’t do that, surely-

“You okay?” The voice brings you from your spiralling thoughts, like a soothing velvet to your ears. You look over at him, suddenly unsure how you feel about the situation – aside from sheer anxiety – and you don’t know if he’s telling you the full truth.

“I guess so,” you announce, exhaling deeply, “But it doesn’t make sense, why would they both be here? Why wouldn’t Hobi tell me anything? He didn’t even know Yoongi!” You know better than to expect a straightforward response, so the Alpha’s silence is what you settle for. You’re irritated and stressed, yes, but you don’t want to argue with him now. Not after today.

Soon enough, the car is pulling up in front of the house and you hesitantly open the door and follow an awaiting Jungkook.

“Is there anything you need?” The uncertainty in his tone depicts his own worries; that if he doesn’t divulge all his secrets that you’ll drift away again, and that gaping void that lingers in your past will break through again and pull you apart. You surprise him when you simply walk over to him however, and wrap your arms around his waist, his scent relaxing you as it always does, bringing you a much needed escape from the hauntings in your head. Your body begins to regain feeling, and you realise just how exhausted you are from the stress. You fall into his arms, and he’s quick to keep you up and steady.

“Do you want to take a nap or something?” He mumbles into your hair, but you press against him harder instead of responding, moulding your body into his and holding the front of his top in knuckled hands.

“I actually have something for you.”

He separates away from your body with a slight smile, jogging round to his desk to pull open one of the drawers and pull out a small box. You rips back the tape and pulls the top apart to reveal a little camera inside, with a long cable draping out the back.

“Here, I bought a webcam, so you can call your dad on the office computer,” he offers, looking at you hopefully.

You can’t help but smile, nearly distracted by the thought of seeing your father’s face again after so long. You speak on the phone with him everyday but it’s not the same as a face to face conversation, and you miss the way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles, and the lines on his forehead from frowning at books he doesn’t agree with. You can’t wait for whenever he’ll next visit you in Red Moon.

You eagerly sit in Jungkook’s office chair in front of the computer as the screen buffers and loads, till the screen pops up and your dad’s face is frozen.

“Dad,” you smile, seeing him in the lounge frowning down at his laptop like the old man struggling with technology that he is.

“Is it working?” He mumbles, faffing with the angle.

“Yes, it is,” you laugh slightly, looking up at your mate with an appreciative grin.  

Your dad squints at the screen, grazing over your form, “Is Alpha Jungkook there?” Jungkook comes into the frame, leaning down beside you.

Your mate slides his hand onto your thigh and you place yours over it, “You can call him Jungkook, I’m sure he won’t care.” Full well knowing he would care, he squeezes your leg making you squirm with a small giggle, staring you down.

“Oh, of course, Jungkook,” your father’s voice resonates through the speakers.

“He loves it.” You tell him, Jungkook’s eyes still trained on the side of your head.

About an hour later and you still haven’t run out of things to talk about with your dad. You aren’t sure that you ever will. After hanging up you still don’t feel fully satisfied, but your thankful your mate stayed and talked to him too the whole time. When you were younger, you used to go to a school with human children, and as you grew up they all started dating and your friends getting boyfriends and girlfriends, and one thing that was always incredibly important to them was their parent’s blessing. It’s slightly different in the wolf world- you only ever have one mate and so for the parents to dislike them would be unimportant anyway, you aren’t finding anyone different. It still makes you happy, though, that your father seems to like him, that they converse over the recent football game and speak casually to each other. You crave your dad’s blessing, the same way those human kids did too.

You kiss your mate hard on the mouth once your father’s face is off the screen, holding him there by his shirt till you feel contented with the thank you. He leans in again as you pull back, feeling his hot breath against your cheek.

“Thank you for that,” you tell him, “And thank you for finding out about Hobi.”

He brings you to your feet to pull your waist against him, pressing into his groin, “I’ll do anything for you.” He kisses you on the lips again, then slowly travelling to your cheeks and down your jaw along to your neck.

You become entranced in the way he feels, legs nearly failing if he wasn’t holding you up with an arm now curled possessively around your back. He gently suckles on the skin by your collarbone, flattening out his tongue against the flesh every now and then to soothe the irritation, blooming into a deep purple flower on your chest. It's at this moment that everything comes flooding back you were briefly distracted from; Hobi, Yoongi, Red Moon, Rogues- everything.

“Do you think you’ll find him?” You pant, raking your fingers through your mates hair, still firmly attached to your neck. “I just don’t want him to be hurt and it’s difficult for-“

“Stop worrying.” He pulls back momentarily to mumble at you, then going back to the mark on your neck and grazing his teeth over the bite to send a rush of endorphins pulse through you, straight down to your centre. You instinctively convulse against him, releasing a choked moan as he outlines the small indentations of the scar.

“Let me calm you down,” he mutters, running his nose up your jaw and cupping your chin to press hard against your mouth, gently caressing your lips with the silk of his own. Jungkook’s heart rate picks up when you don’t protest, and you’re slowly guided to the sofa in the lounge, pushed over the arm rest onto your back, watching as he deliberately climbs on top you.

He wantonly kisses down your chest, his hands slithering up beneath your top to your waist where his touch burns like fire on the flesh. You can barely breathe as the fabric is hitched up to your bra, and Jungkook rims your navel with the tip of his tongue, sensually rotating his jaw to mark the revealed skin. It feels foreign to have someone so close to your core, gliding down so leisurely to savour every taste of you like one would a Michelin star meal, the excitement pools in your stomach and leaves you churning for more. The wet, underside of his lips falls down your stomach to the top of your jeans and he gently pulls open the button, the zip down.

You moan softly as you push up your hips to allow for the jeans to roll over your legs, your mate falling lower with them to slide the material from your ankles and you hastily kick them away. He smirks at your eagerness, but doesn’t make any teasing comment like you’d expect. He’s far too turned on for that, engrossed in your body’s ministrations as he explores your every pleasure.

There’s a moment when he looks at you from between your legs, a silent inquiry to pull down the white thong concealing your sex, and you respond by exhaling, lulling your head back and shutting your eyes to drown in his intoxicating touch. The small strip of fabric effortlessly grazes down your thighs to rest on your knees, revealing your core and you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable, revealed, embarrassed. You attempt to squeeze them together, but the Alpha growls and spreads them apart again with his palms.

“Don’t,” he grunts, eyes burning with a fervent lust you’ve never seen before- you thought you never would see. You never believed someone could ever look so crazy for you, driven so primitive and animalistic by a hunger for your body’s reactions.

He suddenly delves into your cleft, tongue parting the sensitive tissues and plunging into your centre. Your hips jolt at the impact, an arm slamming against the back of the couch to grip onto the pillow as you struggle away, but his hold doesn’t relent, face still buried shamelessly in your centre.

“Stop moving,” he growls again, diving into the slick flesh with his velvet tongue gently pulsing against your clit to make your back arch and hips churn. Your body yields to his every touch, rocking parallel to his movements as his hand descends to your inner thigh, and one digit gently presses into your core. You can’t think of anything but how good it feels for him to touch you, taste you, eat you  like his last meal. You could cry in pleasure, lost entirely to his silky touch, fundamentally possessive as he brings you closer to him.

“God,” you whine, teeth clamping over your lip to stop your squirming, your free hand now clutching the back of your mate’s hair to encourage his lubricious attention to your dripping centre. The finger gliding in and out of you with his sinful rocking makes you jerk suddenly, as it curls upwards to graze euphoria and the coil snaps in your stomach.

The waves of your climax rush over you in a scream-inducing, toe-curling orgasm that leaves you quaking violently, trembling as he continues to lap up your writhing cleft, tongue still thrusting against you and one finger stroking the sensitive bundle of flesh. It seems to drag on for an eternity, rolling through you relentlessly and vibrating you both as the tears spill unwilling from your eyes down your temples.

“Enough, enough,” you whimper, pushing his head back with your hands as he thankfully retreats, leaving the pink, swollen core bare and exposed to him; he’s never seen something so fucking salacious in his life, and if he could he’d carry on eating you till you physically couldn’t take anymore, unable to stand and sore the next morning. He wants to devour you.

As he pulls your pants back up your legs, you begin to come around, catching your breath and wetting your lips to see the raging boner beneath his jeans, looking somewhat painful to endure. You still feel a little high from your climax, and with a gentle pursing of your lips you lean forwards to the belt of hi jeans, but he stops you immediately. You frown, a little muddled as to why you can’t touch him.

“But- but,” you fumble over the words, “You- I didn’t-“

He smiles and interrupts you with another kiss, hands curling possessively around you bare waist to hold your form beneath him, “Baby, the second you put your hands on me like that I’ll lose it. And seeing you like that was enough for me to remember for later.” He winks and you bring your hands up to cover your face with an embarrassed groan, curling into his chest, vibrating with laughter. You’re crazy for him.

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[i-growl-growl-growl]

Hi ^^ can I get a yandere life ship pls? I might seem quite cold on the outside and I don't really like people pushing me around and telling me what to do but deep down I'm actually a sub, hidden under layers of brattiness. I hate it when people treat me like I'm dumb. I love cuddles and play-fighting (does that makes sense?) other than that I have a weird taste in things: thrillers and winx club, metal and kpop, black leather jackets and cute skirts. I also like to dye my hair in crazy colours

Yandere 1: (Main yandere)- Bobby

The first thing Bobby realized about you was your cold persona and brattiness as well as your distaste for being pushed around and treated like a low-life. He figured that if he could get his hands on you, he would have no problem setting that submissive side to you straight, dishiveling your cold and bratty persona into a pile of rubbish quickly. How would he do that? By treating you the exact way that you hate being treated. Bobby would boss you around and mess with your mind until you acted like a submissive slave to him. He'd make sure that you kept your contrasting style, "bassass but cute", though.

your friend that is victimized by yandere one: Jae (Day6)

Jae was drawn to your playful side once he met you through a mutual friend of yours. Your other friend had tagged him along in many of your escapades so he got to see past your brattiness and cold persona quickly.once he was invited to have a sleep over with you and your friend, which turned out to be the night that he found out that you had accepted him into your friend circle rather than remaining as a third wheel to you and your friends. After being friends with him for years, it came as no surprise that you two were very close and, once Bobby weaseled his way into your life, Jae wanted to make sure that he wouldn't hurt you so Jae did his best to be with you as often as possible. Bobby wouldn't stand for Jae's antics, he'd get Jae alone and threaten to destroy him and his circle of friends if he continued to get in the way of your guy's relationship. If Jae chose to continue sticking to your side then Bobby would torture him, as promised, letting him go just once, giving him one chance to back off, or he'd do the same thing again but ensure that Jae would die a horrible and slow death the next time.

where they’d keep you: abandoned warehouse near the outskirts of the city

Once Bobby has reached the point that he doesn't trust anyone being around you, not even Jae or Zelo, he'll know exactly where to take you to keep you to himself. There's a plethora of abandoned buildings near the outskirts of the city that everyone avoids going near, even the adventurous "abandoned building" thrill seekers. The warehouse is a bit dusty but it'll do. There's plenty of room for you to roam around while locked up in the warehouse, so you won't feel completely caged in like an animal, and there's no way for you to escape through any windows or through the doors that he keeps locked so it's the perfect spot to keep you.

your chances of survival/escape: survival: 9/10, escape: 0/10

Bobby doesn't want to kill you so you have a great chance of survival, he doesn't even want to harm you to the point that you'd be crippled so all the more luck for you. The worst Bobby will do is grave his name into your skin on all parts possible over and over again, he may even reopen the scars the grave them in deeper into your skin if he feels like you deserve it. Another reason for your great chance of survival is your submissiveness and the fact that he knows he may only need to shackle you to the bed if you misbehave to keep you with him but, because yours such a good darling, he won't have to worry about that much.

Yandere 2: (yandere that wants to steal you from yandere 1)- Zelo

You could literally say that you were screwed from the beginning because Zelo was the friend who introduced you to Jae AND Bobby. Unfortunately for Zelo, his softness had kept him from realizing his true, "unsettling", feelings for you until it was too late and you had been set up with Bobby. Zelo would still remain a part of your life, regardless of Bobby's growing distaste for him, and he'd promise himself (and you) that if Bobby ever let his guard down he'd come to your rescue (he'd probably drag Jae into the plan as well which would end badly if Bobby were to catch on to their plan to steal you away from him.)

why yandere 1 & 2 fell for you: The contrast between your taste in things would draw Zelo and Bobby to you like cheese on Nachos since they're both the same way as you personality and interest wise. Each of these boys are personified as strong individuals with a deepset style of harshness (metal & rap, leather jackets, harsh rapping styles (whether it be the speed of their raps or their strong/harsh voices), etc but, once you get to know them they're both giant softies who enjoy childish things like Hello Kittie or keeping tiny frogs as pets, etc.

[hogwartsfirebolt]

I know what you’re thinking! But I promise this third one is the LAST PART of my fic rec list for 2018!!! You can find part one HERE and part two HERE to see all 30 of my favorite fics I read this year. The banner art is by the wonderful @alek-r who was kind enough to let me use her work for this ❤️ Now, once again in no particular order, here it is:

            FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2018 PART THREE

1. Hesperides - @lettersbyelise​ : Draco Malfoy is not the kind of man to lavish gorgeous Greek holidays on his flings. So Harry doesn’t really know what to make of his invitation.

In under 2k words, Elise immerses us in the lightness, elusiveness of a romantic getaway. Every word in this fic is purposeful and beautiful, and throughout the year I found myself going back to it more than once if only to relive that feeling. I can almost smell the salt in the air, feel the white sand between my toes and the sun warming my shoulders. The full sensory immersion of this fic isn’t limited to that, though, because I was also there for the slow, languorous sex, the butterflies in the stomach, the easy companionship. Simply wonderful.

2. Fast Forward, Two Steps Back - @emmagrant01​ : Everyone knows that Draco Malfoy died in the Room of Requirement ten years ago. So when he suddenly reappears at Hogwarts ten years later, still seventeen years old, Professor Harry Potter’s life gets very complicated.

When I first encountered this story, I couldn’t resist the pull of that summary, I opened it immediately, ignored absolutely all my homework for the day and effectively DEVOURED it. The premise is so interesting, and the way it navigates Harry and Draco’s dynamic when Draco is 17 and Harry is 27 is downright masterful. I am always weak for fics that explore Draco coming to terms with who he is after the events of book 7, and having Harry as someone who already went through all of that and is willing to help was a very refreshing take on the trope… and come on, sexy professor Potter? Sign me the hell up. 

3. Spokesperson - BummedOutWriter : “It was entirely consensual,” Malfoy drawled, as the lights from dozens of cameras flashed across his pale face. In fact, his face was paler than usual. Honestly, gray. “Councilmen Rupert and goblin Gornuk request privacy at this tender stage of their relationship. Excuse me.” And with that, Malfoy hurried off the platform with no explanation of why he was departing so suddenly. Harry could see the slight pooch in his robes where their baby was growing. Malfoy disappeared into the building and reporters yammered in protest. Morning sickness, Harry mused, not quite sympathetic, because Malfoy didn’t seem to warrant it. A bumbling young witch stepped forward and took over the press conference.

This fic is SO good. In just under 3k words, it has everything: a dash of humor, a tiny bit of angst, a teaspoon of pining and a pinch of fluff. It tells a story of a one-night stand that inevitably ties two people together when they’d very much rather not be. The presence of the press in it is really well done, and it has one of the most creative professions I’ve seen around for the HP world; Draco’s snark is inevitably present, and the way he attempts to keep Harry at an arm’s length away at all times without actually managing it rings very true to the pairing. 

4. A Man Named Potter - @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ : Potter begins to take me apart, each savage, pounding thrust peeling away layer after layer of everything that I am, reaming me open in a way that makes me wonder how I’ll ever be able to let anybody else but him fuck me after this.

I have read this series several times, and the reason is that it is simply scorching hot. Yes, like that, in bolds. It is composed of two fics, the first one in Draco’s POV and the second one in Harry’s. I was a bit scared going into it, because I don’t usually read first person POV, but this one is SO well done that I enjoyed it immensely, and the way it was told only added to the absolute hotness that is the first part and the sweetness of the feelings that surface in the second. And hell, if you need some more enticement to go read it, Harry calls Draco kitten. 

5. Boiling Point - @goldentruth813​ : Ferveret - n. boiling point. After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they’re forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.

One of my favorites of Janel’s! The forced proximity trope is always an amazing way to explore how two people fit against one another while providing the space to build trust and get to know each other better, and it is breathtakingly beautiful in this one. It makes you feel it all, the longing, the fear of opening up, the defensiveness that comes with feeling vulnerable, the heartache when facing demons of the past and the love, the love, the love. 

6. Dwelling - aideomai: Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it’s not called the Mirror of Erised doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know better.

WHERE TO BEGIN. This story is mind-blowing through and through, and it is so damn GOOD I can’t even put it to words. It’s an AU that’s not an AU, a story with all the tropes: childhood friends, post-war, case fic, eight year, everyone lives, nobody lives, canon compliant, non-canon-compliant, summer of love, a group of teenagers having to figure out what the hell is going on, and a DEEP study on how much it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. One of my all-time favorites, and one that you NEED to read asap.

7. What We Pretend We Can’t See - @gyzym​ : Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

This fic is a Drarry classic for a reason. It has the most PERFECT characterizations I have ever, ever read. Draco is snarky and funny and dramatic and just a bit crazy, and Harry is noble and good and they’re both so complex, so lovely it makes my heart ache. In this story, there’s a case involving Draco that Harry is trying to decipher, and in trying to do so, they grow together. The way they are in this one feels like such a natural development, considering everything we know about them in canon, and the way their relationship develops is natural and amazing and I DREAM of the day I have the time to sit down and give this a very thorough reread. It decomposes and rebuilds each of their personalities and it feels so human and so real. A thing of beauty. 

8. Malfoy’s Anatomy - @novareblogs : Healer interns are nothing short of a bunch of little children running around with wands and severed limbs, having inappropriate sex in inappropriate places. What’s the worst that could happen, really?

Here’s something about me: I’m a medical student, and very partial towards Healer stories. It is a trope I actively seek, and out of all the fics that I’ve read that include it, this one paints the REALEST environments I have ever seen. I was cackling all the way through, the relationship between higher-ups and med graduates, how students tail the surgeons (and give them nicknames), having to find a place where you and your friends can study until four am, when you inevitably fall asleep against each other. It is literally what studying medicine is like. And not only is this fic hilarious, it also has a very fresh take on the characterizations. I had never seen Harry like this, and his relationship with his (very much alive) parents feels very real. The way he and Draco slowly come together as they uncover secrets about each other’s pasts is wonderful, and the medical consent that’s handled throughout the story is very well done. A very good read that I didn’t expect to find, yet surprised me in all the right ways.

9. Humbug (A Christmas Tale) - Snegurochka : Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

A beautiful retelling of A Christmas Carol, with delicious pining and gorgeous characterizations. I always do love stories of fuckbuddies who are definitely so much more, but pretend they’re not. That, plus a wonderful redemption arc for Draco? I was sold. This story made me feel butterflies and tear up at times, and I love it very, very much. An excellent fic to read this time of the year. 

10. Away Childish Things - @letteredlettered​ : Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

God. There is so much to say about this story. It’s beautiful, in every sense of the word, breathtaking. Lettered has such a way with words, I felt like I was right there next to Harry and Draco, like I was them, feeling everything they felt. It is incredibly powerful. It made me feel angry, empty, lost and sad and it made me feel excited and elated and hopeful. It made me understand things about myself as the characters discovered things about themselves. This story might be one of the absolute best things I have ever read, in and outside of fandom, and it’s such a thorough exploration of each of the characters that it feels inevitable, it feels like, no matter what the epilogue says, this is what actually happened to them. I cried, I cried so many times from both sadness and happiness. There are simply no words to explain how gorgeous it is. I am immensely grateful to have read it. 

Thank you to all who read my lists, and thank you thank you thank you if you decide to give these works and these authors a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (or any story really) my DM’s are always open. Happy New Year!

[vera-invenire]

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 4

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

The Case Study of Vanitas, aka, It’s Probably A Really Bad Idea To Get Into  Fights With People Called ‘Hellfire Witch’, Boys, I’m Just Saying

Not much to note in the cover art this time -- we’ve got Vanitas’ standard imagery in blues and blacks, with emphasis on the hourglass earring and his eyes. And the gears, through after the airship we haven’t really had much else that was very steampunk-ish in the story. Maybe that’ll change in later chapters.

Re: the eyes -- we know that most vampires have eyes that glow red when they drink or use their powers (I think that’s how it works?) and they have a link to the crimson moon, but Vanitas is human, so even though he’s got a connection to the Vampire of the Blue Moon, his blue eyes might just be a coincidence. (re: for the  a e s t h e t i c) (though the color matching with that hourglass is a bit suspect on the symbolic level, so who knows)

We get a bit of a peak at the dynamics in Dante’s crew before we jump back into the action --

Johann is very camp. I wonder if the matching suits were his idea. I like his relationship with Dante, though. Riche seems to be their junior member -- at least Johann is looking out for her.

Uh-oh. Luca’s heading back into the fray.

Chapter title: Memoire 4 Love Femme Fatale

Well, ‘femme fatale’ is Jeanne, that’s pretty clear. But ‘love’? Eh? Are we introducing a romance? Or is this the protective love between Jeanne and Luca?

So, Jeanne’s chasing Noé down the back-alleys of the -- was it the riverfront district? Warehouses, we’re surrounded by warehouses.

She catches his foot!

Noé intercepts! \o/

(’may i throw you back’, pfff)

But Vanitas is no slouch himself, even if he is back to being carried like a kitten.

We already knew that Vanitas was aware of Jeanne’s reputation, but this exchange makes me think he knows a bit more than surface level rumors. But he doesn’t seem up-to-date with the no-killing influence Luca has on her.

Vanitas tells Noé to follow the plan (which we are not privy to) as Jeanne finds them again.

'No’, ‘I refuse’, must be Noé‘s favorite words, he says them so much.

(Can you imagine baby Noé just constantly saying ‘i refuse. i refuse.’ all serious-like whenever someone tried to make him put down his blankie, cuz I’m imagining it, lmao.)

Note: Noé‘s teacher is a scary badass. (also what’s he holding? a cane? a switch?? oi, what was Noé‘s training like)

Meanwhile, Noé feels like he’s finally getting the upper-hand --

Uh-oh.

Pride goeth, etc etc

*sports announcer voice* That’s gotta hurt.

But why’s he looking at his hand? I didn’t notice him holding anything before.

“Now... let’s see.” He and Vanitas still have a plan to enact. Also, hi Riche!

So we haven’t had much time with these three yet, but I’m starting to get a feel for their priorities. Dante would never, ever in a million years admit to anything like fondness for Vanitas, or vice versa, but underneath all the mutual sniping I think there’s a small bond there. A teeny tiny one.

Whereas with Johann -- he honestly doesn’t care about Vanitas one way or another. If V were to be killed in front of them, I think Dante would be shocked and frozen for at least a second while Johann would say, ‘welp, it’s been a lark, toodle-loo’, grab his Two People, and get them all the hell out of there, not bothering to look back.

Riche, I don’t know enough about yet. She mostly registers to me as the rookie of this trio, tbh.

Yes, antagonize the massively powerful warrior who just threw Noé through a brick wall. That’s a good plan. (is this the plan, that would be a terrible plan)

Ooo, history, I love history. I especially love MochiJun’s history and how layered and batshit it can get once the reveals start to hit.

So the vampire-human war happened a long time ago -- how long ago, we don’t know. We know that BlueVampire!Vanitas was alive during that time. We know that Jeanne was alive during that time, but was then put asleep.

(Why? Some thoughts: she was a weapon of war and put away when peace came; she went off the rails and had to be subdued; her being put asleep was a condition of some kind; she wanted to be put under, etc. There’s no way to know what really happened yet, but it’s interesting to think about.)

We also now know that BlueVampire!Vanitas used to tell Vanitas stories about the war that clearly didn’t leave out many details. But that wording...honestly, it sounds like maybe Vanitas was a kid when he heard this? Telling stories is something you usually do with a kid, which might make sense because.human!Vanitas doesn’t look that old. Anything that happened more than a few years ago would slide into ‘kid’ territory.

Which makes me wonder...did BlueVampire!Vanitas raise human!Vanitas? Or teach him, at least? I’d be a neat parallel to Noé and his teacher.

(what if they’re the same person, bwahahaha)

Anyway, back to Vanitas taunting the highly aggravated weapon of mass destruction.

Oooo, he’s about to pull out a special move. And he -- dropped the book?

is that thing really there, or is it, like, symbolic

oh shi-

The gloves are literally about to come off...!

That kid’s got horrible timing.

Ohoho, someone woke up from their nap. Was this part of the plan or is it an interesting complication?

Ow.

...IT WAS A TRICK, you sly dog.

also vampires are monsters, huh? or just curse-bearers and bourreaus? i think this distinction may be a biiiiit important. (is this why you’re always so shocked when Noé does/says something decent, oh boy)

LMAO, oh god, I hope this Greek chorus follows Vanitas around all the time just to drag him, wouldn’t that be amazing

Damn, boy -- he really knows how to work the superior disdain, doesn’t he?

I’m still shaky on how these true names work. Do vampires just fall into types, and that’s what gets warped? You’d think something called a ‘true name’ would be more individual than that.

Oi, Jeanne, you aren’t watching? Though I like Dante being all, ‘whatever, I’ve seen this show before.’

ahahaha, OOPS.

That’s what happens when you let your grandstanding get away from you, bb.

oh hey, look who was lurking nearby and NOT HELPING AT ALL.

“...you must be joking.” in this kind of context is like, one of my favorite lines.

Also damn, Jeanne is a badass.

Yeah, saw that coming.

She really shouldn’t have let Vanitas see how distracted she became when Luca wandered into danger.

*snorts* The Greek chorus doesn’t lie.

It’s a bluff, though; no way would Noé agree to harming the kid.

oh my god.

(”don’t forget to cover his mouth as you would a hostage, like so” akfdsajkfhkjf)

Noé, you are too innocent, too pure.

And she folds like a house of cards.

I don’t think even Vanitas expected this plan to work so well.

Oh, a little bit of crazy eyes there. This is gonna be a Thing, isn’t it? Vanitas, who, as far as we know, owes his loyalty to nothing and no one uses this to kick Jeanne while she’s down.

Heh, wonder what’s gonna happen when Vanitas finds something he wants to protect.

That is definitely a plotting look in his eye. He just saw how to use this to his advantage.

1. um what

2. hey, is this the first time we’ve seen him bare handed? It’s nice to know he doesn’t have actual claws under those gloves.

3. speaking of which, is that ‘my strength is suddenly gone’ bit because there IS something magic-related about his hands, or is she just in shock?

4. that is a very unnerving look. Vanitas, what are you doing

...holy crap, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??

Vanitas what are you doing

Shit, this is why the chapter was called “Love Femme Fatale”, oh geez.

dante, why do you look the most freaked out out of everyone?

Alright, I know Vanitas has been set up as being utterly unscrupulous, what with the lying and taking a little boy as a hostage and using a bloodthirsty monster to do his dirty work, etc, but seriously, someone needs to introduce him to the tenants of the #metoo campaign. Sure, fine, she tried to kill him two minutes ago, but this feels like a line too far.

...

Yeah, this ain’t real. The disdain, the fear, the calculation from before -- that was genuine. This is another bluff.

And I think I know why he’s doing it. Fighting Jeanne made it very clear that she is waaaaay out of his league, strength-wise. He only won through guile, and it’s a trick that might not work again. This woman has a well-earned, blood-soaked reputation, and she was gonna walk away from this fight seeing Vanitas as an enemy to herself and Luca.

But Vanitas saw her weakness -- she lets her bonds with those she cares about distract her. She’s a killer, but she’s sentimental. Emotional.

So, if you’re Vanitas, how do you deal with this, knowing that Jeanne the Hellfire Witch might become a problem for you down the line? How do you plan to defeat a potential foe who is so much stronger than you, someone you could never hope to defeat in a fair fight?

Apparently, if you’re Vanitas, you try to seduce them.

Even if the actual seduction part doesn’t work, you can still mess with her head just enough to make her confused, maybe make her a little more likely to hesitate when it’s time for the gauntlet to finally come down.

And a split-second’s hesitation could be all Vanitas would need to make his counter.

(sidenote: i still think it’s  h i l a r i o u s  that Dante is the most outraged about all this kissing and love declaration stuff. Noé apparently can’t hear any of this at all, which I think is very convenient. We don’t get to see his reaction to this kind of game until later, apparently.)

Uh-oh. Looks like this kid is powerful and very, very pissed.

“A large-scale “formula” revision” mmhmm, okay, what’s that supposed to mean? Am I getting an explanation for the magic system yet?

Looks like it’s not just Luca keeping Jeanne from going off the rails -- she does the same for him.

Look at that. She’s throwing death threats but now she’s blushing, she sure as hell wouldn’t have been blushing before he kissed her, the stupid plan is working.

And honestly, aggravation and confusion are probably going to work better than actual tender feelings in this seduction. He’s going to play this role to the goddamn hilt.

Look at that face, the jerk.

Alright, that’s a better face.

Noé has no idea what he’s getting into, the poor soul.

(he didn’t have much of a presence in this chapter, did he. maybe Jeanne is mostly going to be a Vanitas subplot instead of a Vanitas-and-Noé subplot)

Apparently we’ve traded one killer on the streets for another. And even more intriguing -- he recognized this killer. ‘Course, now he’s dead, so I don’t know how useful that’s gonna be.

Whimsical creature of darkness! I did not miss you.

The true threat is revealed with a name -- “Charlatan”. But, you know --

(Charlatan: a person who falsely pretends to know or be something.)

-- which makes me think there’s proooobably something else behind this guy. He is a fake, after all. (Though, hey, ‘charlatan’ is a nice contrast with Vanitas the doctor, don’t you think.)

That’s all for chapter 4! What a night, eh?

Next, CHAPTER 5.