#everyone say thank you trent reznor

[dilfsuzanneyk]

listening to nin by no means makes me feel better if anything it makes me feel worse

[fordp1nes]

ok so it turns out that the only music i can really use for heaven studio remixes is music made with digital software because it has a usable BPM. the downside of this is that the only music that uses digital software is video game music.

[captainpirateface]

On that tour I was a mess quite honestly. This was the peak of Nine Inch Nails newfound rocket ship of fame. It distorted my personality and became overwhelming: to deal with having everyone treat you different, to going from not being able to afford a gas bill to show up to arenas full of people, who kind of think they know you.

The line starts to blur between the guy onstage and the person you used to be. My way of dealing with life was to numb myself with drugs and alcohol because it made me feel better and more equipped to deal with everything. My career was skyrocketing, but the scaffolding that was holding me up as a person was starting to collapse. I wasn’t fully aware of how bad it was getting, but I knew in my heart that I was on an unsustainable, reckless, self-destructive path. When I met David he had been through that. And he was content. He was at peace with himself with an incredible wife, clearly in love. There were a number of times where the two of us were alone, and he said some things that weren’t scolding, but pieces of wisdom that stuck with me: “You know, there is a better way here, and it doesn’t have to end in despair or in death, in the bottom.” A full year later, I hit bottom.

Once I got clean I felt a tremendous amount of shame, of my actions and missed opportunities and the damage that I’ve caused in the past. And I thought back to the time when we were together a lot and I wonder what that could have been like if I was at 100 percent. The “I’m Afraid of Americans” video falls into that category of me at my worst — out of my mind and ashamed of who I was at that time. So when I see that, I have mixed feelings — grateful to be involved, and flattered to be a part of it, but disgusted at myself, at who I was at that time, and wishing I had been 100 percent me. And it nagged me. A few years later, Bowie came through L.A. I’d been sober for a fair amount of time. I wanted to thank him in the way that he helped me. And I reluctantly went backstage, feeling weird and ashamed like, “Hey, I’m the guy that puked on the rug.” And again, I was met with warmth, and grace, and love. And I started to say, “Hey listen, I’ve been clean for …” I don’t even think I finished the sentence; I got a big hug. And he said, “I knew, I knew you’d do that. I knew you’d come out of that.” I have goosebumps right now just thinking about it. It was another very important moment in my life.

-Trent Reznor

[dogwoodbite]

everyone say thank you trent reznor

[mediocre-eternity]

Hello. Today is 30 December 2022

I didn’t realize my holiday preoccupations and rebuilding of our Island would take me so far away from writing but I do appreciate the interest in my life and my various wisdoms.

To hold such adoring fans over, I figure I’d fill you in on some conversations I’ve had as of late.

Daniel and I hadn’t realized the “Devil’s Minion” chapter of Queen of the Damned was as popular with fringe audiences as we expected. Daniel, in fact, had no plans on becoming as much of a character as Lestat and in fact, uses pseudonyms for most of his literature. We had a good time looking through your various posts and speculations about us. Honestly, we aren’t as much of a whirlwind of succulent romantic horror as Lestat and Louis. We’re more like two rats kissing in front of an inferno at the dump. Regardless, we thought it would hilarious to fill you in with tidbits about us two.

Although we can see the appeal of assigning “The Only Time” by Nine Inch Nails as “our” song, “We’re In This Together” is much more accurate to how we operate. We’re shocked and delighted, however, that a lot of readers could pick up on our 20th century musical fixations. And seeing Trent Reznor aged about thirty years since we discovered him sort of…propelled Daniel into the present time period. Well, thank you Mister Trent Reznor for in part helping a small immortal’s fledgeling regain some of his mental acuities. At least you haven’t died yet.

We are also absolutely astounded that readers picked up on what the final “nail in the coffin” (as he likes to say) was for Daniel’s poor mortal body. But that’s all he’ll let me get into.

Daniel started calling me “boss” as a joke about four years after we met. Since then, the nickname has spilled over into our larger coven. Benji uses “boss” for me as well and Jesse, occasionally. Lestat keeps me in his phone as “chef” after laughing so hard at the explanation for it I thought he’d started seizing. Still, my pet name remains one of my favorite things in the world.

Daniel did, in fact, call me an “immortal idiot” for asking him to show me how to use the phone. Speaking of, Daniel’s portion of Queen of the Damned was entirely volunteered by Daniel to Lestat; no psychic tricks necessary. Because of this, we all ended up with a much more comical rendition of our relationship. I believe if Lestat had stolen from my mind (or just asked me) readers would have understood a much different perspective. But in this reality, I’m famed for blenders. Merci, mon amie.

Daniel wants everyone to know that he hasn’t stopped smoking. It’s part of his “vampire aesthetic,” as he likes to call it.

Daniel is not monolingual. He picked up some Italian in our time together while he was still mortal and perfected the language further from his decade with my maker. Teaching him French is another task as me and Lestat speak two different dialects of French and Daniel has trouble floating between the two. It’s hilarious how Daniel has become somewhat of a case study for American lacking in linguistics.

We love looking at fan art of us two, especially one’s highlighting my eccentricities. I believe more people need to understand how self aware I am of how I speak and move my body, and what I ultimately decide to do. So it’s extra silly when fans try to guess how I might present myself. I did see a small comic strip of my desires to be ultra-close to Daniel. I’ll admit that I have sat on his lap when other seats were perfectly available.

That’s all I can think up for now, plus I shouldn’t divulge too much all at once. If I were to, perhaps you’d be more keen on picking myself and Daniel out from the Times Square crowd tomorrow night. In case you felt bored, anyway.

[blackteaaddict]

Ask Game: What is the soundtrack of your fic?

List five of your fics and a song that inspired you while writing. No need to link anything if it’s too much work! If you want to, say something about it. Then tag as many people you like. :)

I was tagged by @melodious-tear, thank you 💚💚💚

ok, so I have exactly 5 fics posted on my AO3 but I’ll have to cheat a little and talk about my wips because I can’t remember what music I listened to during writing the first two fics that I posted (The Dreams In Which I'm Dying Are The Best I've Ever Had and The Great Cat Fight Of The Wizards) and no song I can associate with them (I know the first one of those has a title from Tears For Fears song but it doesn’t count, I chose the title later, the song wasn’t inspiration, just that lyric was very fitting for the title)

1. Fate Up Against Your Will (MCU)

it’s a sequel to The Dreams In Which I'm Dying Are The Best I've Ever Had and with this one I remember that, at least while working on some parts of it, I had Skeleton Tree album by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds on the loop, to get myself into the right mood (as you can see, it wasn’t a very happy fic)

2. tea for two (The Untamed)

I will forever associate All Within My Hands from Metallica’s concert album with San Francisco Symphony with this fic, because it was released last summer when I was working hard on finishing this fic and listened to this song a lot. it had a good unsettling mood? and it somehow clicked.

3. don’t forget about me (The Untamed)

for sure Simple Mind’s Don’t You (Forget About Me) because every time I read this particular Xue Yang’s line it immediately starts playing in my head so I just went with it xD (it’s a xuexiao song, don’t at me) also I listened a lot to My Honest Face and When It Brakes by Inhaler

4. I feel rougher than a disco lizard tongue along your cheek (MCU, WIP)

it’s the fic that probably fits the rules of this meme the most (except for the fact that I never finished it acutally). it’s a Loki/Grandmaster WIP that was heavily inspired by Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino album by Arcitc Monkeys (this album has very strong Frostmaster vibes ok?), I had it on the loop while writing the fic and the title is taken from Science Fiction song from this album, also the chapter titles are from other songs and I remember that even some parts of lyrics were rephrased as parts of the dialogue or narration. many scenes were heavily inspired by the songs and what was supposed to be just a relatively short one-shot about Grandmaster doing Loki’s make-up (it’s not as nice as it seems hehe) kinda started growing into this big mutli-chaptered monster that was basically “let’s write very trope I want to write with this paring” and “Grandmaster fucks a lot with Loki’s mind and sanity” and it was from Grandmaster’s POV and deliciously creepy and it reached over 40k before I got lost and didn’t know what I’m doing anymore and got stuck. and I never really worked on it since. (also I’m gonna count The Dumplings album Raj as an inspiration too, at least for one of the chapters, especially song Deszcz)

5. the XueXiao fic about Xiao Xingchen having nightmares (The Untamed, WIP)

I listened a lot to songs from the soundtrack for The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross to get myself in the unsettling and sad mood (mainly Please Take Your Hand Away and Under the Midnight Sun) and I need to get my ass to finally finish this fic hsfgjksdhgf the WIP is what the title says: Xiao Xingchen has nightmares and Xue Yang comforts him after he wakes up (it has three chapters, every chapter featuring a different nightmare)

-----

I tag @veliseraptor and @ameliarating (if you want to) and everyone who wants to do this, feel tagged xD

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Waves

Waves is one story that contains two stories, and these two stories contain so many more. It is the story of a young man who tries to find his way in the world after some hard personal setbacks. It then becomes the story of how his family copes after his story takes a turn for the worse. Contained within these stories, by implication, are the stories of almost everyone, for at any time in the film you get the sense that all this has happened before, it is all happening elsewhere now, and that if you shifted the camera over a few streets, you might see similar things happening there. Trey Edward Shults has created a sure-to-be-enduring masterpiece of family drama that is laser-focused but also says much about our world and the way we are to one another.

Tyler Williams (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) is a high school senior, and one of those kids who you felt had it all: he’s a wrestling star, in perfect shape, with nothing but potential ahead of him. His gorgeous girlfriend Alexis (Alexa Demie) hangs on his every word. If he blew out his knee tomorrow, his future would still be relatively bright thanks to the small businesses he stands to inherit from his caring stepmother Catherine (Renee Elise Goldsberry) and driven father Ronald (Sterling K. Brown). Harrison harbors a perfect gleam of doubt in his eye, making us low-key aware that Tyler himself might not think everything is absolutely perfect. Indeed, Tyler carries deeply buried resentments toward Catherine for replacing his dead mother, and less-deeply-buried resentments toward his father, who constantly makes it clear that his son is never allowed to rest or relax for even a moment. The perfect boy is a ticking time bomb, and his ideal world subject to fracture from the slightest setback.

That happens when he learns he has a severe injury that will end his sporting career. He does not know how to tell his dad, who is the kind of person for whom getting injured is a matter of willpower rather than, you know, physical reality. Then Alexis becomes pregnant. This is presented as a creeping realization rather than a single dramatic moment. They decide to get an abortion, but Alexis changes her mind, resulting in a massive fight and a breakup. Tyler’s world falls apart, helped along by the same stubbornness his father beats into him daily.

These scenes are shot and paced by Drew Daniels, who also shot Shults’ previous two films, as claustrophobic despite taking place in public. Placing the camera inside cars with the arguing couple, or close by them as they are harassed by racist anti-abortion protesters, he also speeds along with them when they are in a hurry, always keeping close, almost never offering a wide shot. The movie is frequently adorned with bursts of color. Police lights, traffic lights, the colors of an evening sky, are all made to wash over the characters, in some shots almost infusing them as the camera spins slowly, say, on a car trip, or after a moment of great impact. The result is to ramp up the tension to desperate levels, even in scenes where all anyone is doing is talking. The music, too, is essential, with the song “What A Diff’rence a Day Makes” sung by Dinah Washington serving as a motif against a backdrop composed by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. The pair presents lows when they are needed, and blinding, distracting highs when tension spikes, perfectly following the film’s own hills and valleys with their own musical ones.

We think we’re in for one movie, one story. I personally thought it was going to be something like a Bruce Springsteen song, where the glory days of High School give way to the ignominious existence of simply getting older, having kids, and fighting out a relationship with precious little glory to be had---the existence of ordinary people. Then the film blindsides you. It comes quick, as life often does, so quick we doubt what has happened could really be so. The aftermath also comes to those affected with little warning. Ronald, the father who always exercised total control, finds his world suddenly without it, and like all people who need control and lose it, he spirals into alternating anger and apathy. Catherine retreats inside herself, her marriage over in her mind. Tyler himself does what any 18-year-old would do: though horrified at what his life has become, he tries to escape from it, because this cannot be the end of his story. No one dies, metaphorically or otherwise, at 18, after all.

Perhaps not more affected than her parents, but the one on whom we feel those effects the most, is Tyler’s younger sister Emily (Taylor Russell). She has barely been seen up until now, but we shift focus to her, and see the rest of the story through her eyes. Time passes. Her brother is gone, her parents are around but absent, and she has to live her young life with little support, becoming a quiet and introspective teen. This is interrupted by the arrival of Luke (Lucas Hedges), a former teammate of her brother’s, and the two begin what looks like a life together. The wheel turns; her brother’s life has ended, his future snuffed out, but hers is in front of her. How she chooses to approach it will be a stark contrast with that of Tyler, and these thoughts follow us throughout the rest of the film. I reflected that behind every seemingly bad or broken person is one that was once ordinary, and behind those people are other people, the ones who have built them, in ways intended and unintended.

Indeed, I reflected on much, and my thoughts may be entirely personal to me, because the movie never once tells you what to think about the events in it. Shults has crafted a screenplay free of overt drama, free of speeches directed more toward the audience than the characters, free of proselytizing any sort of message. Witness the scenes in which Emily and Luke comfort the latter’s dying father, who he is estranged from. There is no specific transformation in their relationship, no moment of realization, just the quiet getting over of barriers. There is only one moment of overt confession in the film, between Emily and her father, and when this happens we realize we have never seen them truly interact before.

Little touches like this, playing with our perspective, evoke the sense of passing time and how easy it is to let those around us slip away, or push them away. Other, more traditionally dramatic films I’ve seen recently will slip from my memory, while this one with few bursts of drama and much of ordinary life may stay living in my mind for years to come. Verdict: Must-See

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

 You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

 Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

[cyanpeacock]

BPD is like what. 

I’m learning that like, the skills I’m working on are about management. It’s not a cure. I still go from “OK time to drink the pentobarbital and die” to “I AM GOD AND I HAVE BLESSED ALL THAT THERE IS WITH HOLY LIGHT” in a matter of minutes to hours. 

Like, my phone screen cracked when I dropped it earlier. I was like, kill yourself, you’re pathetic, it’s as broken as you are now, and you know you deserve to die, you’re careless, you’re good for nothing. 

An hour later and I’m like, oh man, this looks so beautiful, this is a gift from God, it’s like a rainbow spiderweb across the front of my phone screen, it even looks pretty when it’s turned off now!

Ahahahaha yeah. Yeah. (Trent Reznor voice) What have I become.

Fuck, don’t live like me. Thank the heavens you can’t, because you’re not in this body, using this hellbrain. Or are you? How can it be proven or disproven? If quantum theory holds true, are you entangled with me? Is this how the phenomenon of possession comes about? What about all the unobserved quantum states? 

I’m Schroedinger’s cat. I don’t know if I’m alive or dead. I don’t even know if I’m inside the box. An outside observer can tell me I am here, but that requires opening the box, and even then, they’re Schroedinger’s cat too! How would they know that I’m really here, when objective sight is a myth? We see a leaf, you say it’s yellow, I say it’s green, we’re both right and wrong. 

Fuck! Shit ! Fuck, Shit, Balls and Damn! 

My screws are loose and I only have one screwdriver. Turning one screw makes another come loose. In the words of CAKE, you turn the screws, you tear down the bridge... flimsy as it is, it’s businesslike. 

It’s all business, if business is politics, and the political is personal, and the personal is the self, and the self is impersonal, and the impersonal is business...

I’m Van Gogh, I’m Da Vinci, I’m absolutely batshit and ahead of my time and so far behind too. I’ll eat the yellow paint, it’s a happy colour, fuck it. I’ll devise a contraption for man to break the rule of history and fly like a bird.

Post-war society? Shit, it’s possible, there was a time where humankind could only imagine taking flight. Now we do it every day, in metal contraptions that look like dolphins. 

It’s a matter of course. It’s energy too. E=mc^2. I’m travelling at the speed of light, I’m gonna make a supersonic man out of you. 

I’d ask for help but it seems like I bewilder just about everyone I express these things to. 

Best way to deal with a paradox? Don’t consider the paradox! But isn’t that not dealing with the paradox? Is it both, or neither?

Fuck, shit, balls. Damn and hell. Because. Why? Why not. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

[grimelords]

I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.

Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.

DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.

Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.

The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).

Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.

In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.

Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.

Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.

Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.

Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.

Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.

Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.

Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.

Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.

Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.

Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.

Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!

What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.

One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.

My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.

Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.

BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.

Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.

AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.

World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.

Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.

A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.

"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.

Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.

Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.​

listen here

[tibby]

hey! i hope your layover isnt too horrible and that you manage to survive 💓💓 please try and convince me to watch the social network because honestly i really cant comprehend how a movie about mark zuckerberg can be anything but awful lol

omg thank you lovely

first of all, i just wanna say that i totally felt the same way before i watched it. to me, a movie about facebook seemed so bad and uninteresting. i didn’t care about mark zuckerberg at 13. i don’t care about him now, outside of wanting him to redistribute his wealth and then die. so i see where you’re coming from, and i want you to know that this movie is worth it.

however, i feel like this movie is only about mark zuckerberg on a surface level. it’s the story of facebook and it’s creation, but i think it’s primarily a social commentary: on nerd culture and privilege and male entitlement and money and how social media impacts our relationships. i don’t think it would’ve gotten the acclaim it’s gotten if it was just a movie about mark zuckerberg.

anyway, under the cut because this got LONG:

let’s start with my favourite part of this movie: mark and eduardo. i know it’s weird to think about mark zuckerberg in a) a romantic context and b) a gay context, but i think there’s intentional homoerotic undertones to their dynamic. fincher and sorkin are both so specific about the stuff they make, that i don’t think they would’ve let this get through unless they intended it that way. additionally, andrew garfield has called it a love story. more than once. even if it wasn’t a romantic relationship, it’s a great dynamic: two people who love each other deeply (in whatever way) and change the face of human communication together, only to have their own relationship destroyed due to their lack of it. it’s tragic, and it plays out so well.

jesse and andrew bring such life to the characters. in the director commentary, fincher has this whole spiel about how mark is a character, and was written as a fictional one, even if he’s based off a real person. and so it gives us jesse’s mark, who is cold and petty and smart but is also a 19 year old who finds himself making decisions he’s not prepared to make. a character who’s not an asshole, he’s just trying so hard to be. jesse talks about how he studied real mark zuckerberg a lot to prepare for this movie, and you can see it in his weird quirks and sense of superiority - but he also brings such his own heart and wit to the role. you see mark at 19/20 but also at 25, see him go from a bratty college kid so desperate for recognition to someone who learns how to be slightly more considerate towards others, who regrets hurting the person who cared about him most.

and eduardo....ugh, my favourite boy! andrew was robbed of an oscar nomination for this role, he really was. he’s so open and honest and loving at the start, and watching him go from that to someone who is closed off and heartbroken and angry always gets me. he twirls when he gets into the phoenix club and rolls his eyes at sean parker. eduardo’s father is mentioned three (3) times in the movie but it’s enough to know that it’s not a healthy relationship, that eduardo’s biggest fear is disappointing him. his fatal flaw is that he loves and trusts mark too much. he’s so well-meaning and that’s ultimately what screws him over in the end. he’s objectively the only main player in this movie that always had good intentions, and he’s the character that loses the most.

we spend two hours with the 2 main characters but it’s enough to let us know that there’s a history there, that they’re best friends and have been for a long time, that they’re smart enough to change the world together but not smart enough to save their relationship. it’s a tragedy. mark and eduardo, as we know them in this film, aren’t the Mark and Eduardo of the real world. they’re college kids thrown into the adult world in the blink of an eye, and it’s bittersweet to compare them in the flashbacks to how they are in the depositions. they’re fascinating characters with such a wonderful dynamic.

honourable cast shoutouts go to: brenda song for being the most intimidating character in the film (if you end up watching the movie and enjoy it, PLEASE watch the director commentary, david fincher won’t shut ip about how great she is), justin timberlake for being so insufferable that he’s the only movie counterpart who is worse than the rl version, armie hammer for being twins, josh pence for doing parts of the better twin, max minghella for the comedic performance of our generation, rooney mara for killing mark zuckerberg twice in one film, and joe mazzello for playing my son dustin moskovitz.

fincher!!! i actually won’t elaborate here we all know how good david is. i know this site has an understandable love of gone girl but i’d argue that the social network is the superior film.

sorkin: this movie gets quoted all the time because this screenplay is fucking iconic. i love that it won an oscar because it deserved it, but primarily i love that it won for best adapted screenplay because i’ve read parts of the accidental billionaires by ben mezrich (which is what TSN is ~loosely~ based on) and most of this is just stuff sorkin came up with. i could post the whole script because it’s all golden but instead just look at this gifset. and also this one.

this movie has the most beautiful soundtrack. if you follow me on twitter, you know that hand covers bruise is my whole heart and makes me cry every goddam time. and then you have in motion and a familiar taste, which are the ultimate Get Pumped songs. intriguing possibilities and painted sun in abstract are perfect pieces of music for watching facebook get created and go live. almost home is simple but intense, and hurts like hell when you remember what scene it is from. really i could talk about the entire score, because trent reznor and atticus ross really gave their all.

deposition cutaways: so many scenes in this movie pull you in and either make you smile or break your heart, and then it cuts back to a room with the main characters and lawyers and you remember! you’re watching the aftermath of what happened, you’re watching mark and eduardo smile at each other right before you’re reminded that they’re in the middle of a lawsuit. the way the two sections of this movie contrast is so well-done and it gets me every time.

on that note, the editing in this film? superb. i’d argue that the facemash scene is the best example, but the office scene and the club scene deserve love and praise as well. like, god, even if you don’t wanna watch this movie for the story, watch it for the technical stuff because it’s all so well done.

like, i can’t really discuss is that much but the rowing scenes? fucking incredible sir david fincher take my whole life.

what i think really works in this movie’s favour though, is that it does take you by surprise. i know so many people who were like you and me. didn’t think they’d be interested in a movie about facebook. but because absolutely everyone involved in this film gave it their all, and they turned a story about a shitty rich dude who made a website into a fictional love story slash social commentary...it’s just beautiful to watch. there’s a reason that critics and the gays of this hellsite all agree that this is one hell of a movie. and this sounds like a cop out, but i really feel like you can’t really give a reason why that is: it’s just something you have to experience.

also, if nothing else: who doesn’t want to watch andrew garfield wear a suit with several buttons undone while he smashes laptops and says the words FUCK YOU FLIP FLOPS?

[dilfsuzanneyk]

i love this song so much bc it feels like getting the crap kicked out of you

[tocinephile]

The Morning After... 2021 Oscars Edition

Whether you liked it or hated it, at least last night's Oscars are worth talking about, which is more than I can say for any other award show this season. But there's no way to hate on Glenn Close doing "Da Butt" after telling Daniel Kaluuya he was too young to know Donna Summer trivia, now that's the mark you want to leave on Oscars history!

This year's award began in a beautiful garden party and then moved inside a train station for a cavernous yet intimate small audience feel. Largely live with overseas presenters (including the Brits gathered at BFI) broadcast with a quality signal with pros on site to make sure everyone was unmuted when they should be, and a few pre-recorded segments thrown in.

Hats off to Regina King for her stylish entrance during the classic movie opening credits, give her an award for walking all the way through Union Station in heels no less! Some people missed the comedic opening, but for all the years that those same skits/monologues incited criticisms and yawns, I think it was fine to skip the comedy for one year. Apparently it's also fine to skip the musical performances and film clips when announcing the nominees. Perhaps many will disagree, but I often take bio breaks leave the room during the song performances anyway, coupled with none of the songs making an impression on me this year, it made no difference to me.

Awards were also presented in a different order this year. By the middle of the show I was already seeing commentary about this in my Twitter but I actually thought things were going well until out of nowhere they start announcing the Best Picture nominees and I started to wonder if I'd left the room by mistake during the Best Actor/Actress awards. I haven't found any sources yet that confirm the reason for the change-up, I can only assume they were saving the Best Actor for last so we could all have an emotional cry over the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman. It turned out both the Best Actress and Best Actor awards were a bit of a surprise, we can now reconfirm our trust in PWC that NOBODY knows the winners ahead of time.

The Best Actress category hasn't had a clear frontrunner but I was personally rooting for Andra Day. I thought Viola Davis also had a good shot of winning. While Carey Mulligan's film was my favourite, I was really blown away by Day's performance. Plus I really wanted to see a BIPOC sweep in the acting categories and I think this was the year for the Oscars to do this right. Frances McDormand is always a force, but I think it was in Three Billboards that she outdid herself, and she was awarded for that. In Nomadland, she was merely 'great'.

Then came the final category of the night and we prepared for them to announce the Best Actor. I'm just going to be presumptuous and say most people were expecting Chadwick Boseman to win posthumously, but not only did they announce Anthony Hopkins name, he wasn't even in attendance/available on video conference to make a speech. The biggest night in Hollywood ended with "we accept this award on his behalf. Thank you and goodnight". I really don't think this is what Steven Soderbergh (and Stacey Sher and Jesse Collins) had in mind. I would have to agree that Hopkins really nailed his performance in The Father, and the film in general is quite an achievement (not only in acting, but in writing, editing, and set design) but I think had the producers known what would hapen, they would have stuck with the classic formula and ended things with Nomadland taking Best Picture. Sure, it would have been playing it safe, but hey, ain't nothing wrong with a classic Hollywood ending.

The acting categories were strong as always. I remarked to a friend prior to the awards, out of the films of the Actor nominees I saw Mank first and thought there was no way Gary Oldman could lose, but after seeing the rest of the films, I had changed my opinion to he didn't stand a chance. And of course there were my BIPOC (ok, every time I type this I think there should have been an Indigenous person nominated... Oscars 2022 are you listening??) acting sweep fantasies. If not Boseman, then maybe Riz Ahmed? Or Steven Yuen? To be up there with a statue alongside Youn Yuh Jung and Chloe Zhao cause "#OscarsSoAsian" has a nice ring to it.

Let's look a little closer at the winners by category:

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Riz Ahmed (“Sound of Metal”)

Chadwick Boseman (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)

Anthony Hopkins (“The Father”) (WINNER)

Gary Oldman (“Mank”)

Steven Yeun (“Minari”)

Since this was the last award, it’s forever remembered as “ruining” the Oscars. While it was not the ending we wanted (maybe it was the ending we deserved? j/k…) it’s important to note Sir Anthony Hopkins didn’t ruin the Oscars, the producers betting an entire award show finale on what they thought was a sure thing is what derailed the evening. What Hopkins did was give a phenomenal performance and subsequently became the oldest actor to be recognized in the category.

I did want Chadwick Boseman to win. I did want a teary emotional finish. I did want a person of colour to win the Oscar. But I also want millions of dollars and the ability to travel around the world right now, so, let’s keep our desires in check.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Viola Davis (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)

Andra Day (“The United States v. Billie Holiday”)

Vanessa Kirby (“Pieces of a Woman”)

Frances McDormand (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)

Carey Mulligan (“Promising Young Woman”)

Oh how badly did I want Andra Day to win? How amazing did I think Viola Davis was? How much did I love Carey Mulligan’s film? (and sidenote: Does Vanessa Kirby know how to smile? Forget smiling, I don’t think I saw her expression change once during the show last night?) But you gotta respect Frances McDormand who didn’t care if she won, who doesn’t need to explain herself, and advocates for Karaoke Bars at award shows.

Best Picture

“The Father”

“Judas and the Black Messiah”

“Mank”

“Minari”

“Nomadland” (WINNER)

“Promising Young Woman”

“Sound of Metal”

“The Trial of the Chicago 7”

Someone on Twitter rightly pointed out… Best Picture is a good choice to hand out last because there’s always someone there to accept it. I’m all for Nomadland winning this, but wouldn’t it have been awesome if Promising Young Woman took it for the upset of the season?

Best Original Song

“Fight for You,” (“Judas and the Black Messiah”). Music by H.E.R. and Dernst Emile II; Lyric by H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas (WINNER)

“Hear My Voice,” (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”). Music by Daniel Pemberton; Lyric by Daniel Pemberton and Celeste Waite

“Húsavík,” (“Eurovision Song Contest”). Music and Lyric by Savan Kotecha, Fat Max Gsus and Rickard Göransson

“Io Si (Seen),” (“The Life Ahead”). Music by Diane Warren; Lyric by Diane Warren and Laura Pausini

“Speak Now,” (“One Night in Miami”). Music and Lyric by Leslie Odom, Jr. and Sam Ashworth

Best Original Score

“Da 5 Bloods,” Terence Blanchard

“Mank,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

“Minari,” Emile Mosseri

“News of the World,” James Newton Howard

“Soul,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Jon Batiste (WINNER)

I’ll never get used to seeing Trent Reznor as a multiple Oscar Winner/Nominee. (Spoken like a true Gen X-er)

Best Film Editing

“The Father,” Yorgos Lamprinos

“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao

“Promising Young Woman,” Frédéric Thoraval

“Sound of Metal,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen (WINNER)

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Alan Baumgarten

I’d read in some articles that whoever gets Editing also typically wins Sound and vice versa. Is that true? Has it always been true or is that recent? Wasn’t there recognition in Sound Editing and Sound Mixing until recent years? While Sound of Metal immediately stood out to me in Sound (I mean, would it have been truly successful if it didn’t?) I’m still not sure how it’s outstanding for its editing. The Father on the other hand, and even The Trial of the Chicago 7. I’d also like to note that David Fincher films also typically feature great editing, and so my impressions of Mank are correct and reconfirmed by its absence in this category.

Best Cinematography

“Judas and the Black Messiah,” Sean Bobbitt

“Mank,” Erik Messerschmidt (WINNER)

“News of the World,” Dariusz Wolski

“Nomadland,” Joshua James Richards

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Phedon Papamichael

I’m hearing from both the Oscar Pools I was part of, that I was in the minority for calling this one correctly.

Best Production Design

“The Father.” Production Design: Peter Francis; Set Decoration: Cathy Featherstone

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” Production Design: Mark Ricker; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara and Diana Stoughton

“Mank.” Production Design: Donald Graham Burt; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale (WINNER)

“News of the World.” Production Design: David Crank; Set Decoration: Elizabeth Keenan

“Tenet.” Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Kathy Lucas

There’s just something about old Hollywood isn’t there? I mean most creative should definitely be The Father, and outstanding is Ma Rainey, but this is Hollywood’s night, not unusual for them to celebrate themselves. For what it’s worth, I loved the Production Design in Mank. Also in all the personal tidbits they tried to share about the nominees, the only one I remember a day later is winner Jan Pascale's dream career trajectory for me... from puppeteer for Mr Rogers to set decorating for David Fincher! Talk about living your best life!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Maria Bakalova (‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm”)

Glenn Close (“Hillbilly Elegy”)

Olivia Colman (“The Father”)

Amanda Seyfried (“Mank”)

Yuh-Jung Youn (“Minari”) (WINNER)

This is going to come off unkind, but I never understood how Maria Bakalova made the cut once we stopped separating out Comedy and Drama categories. What can I say, I just didn’t get the appeal of the Borat sequel (I was lukewarm to first one too truth be told, but at least it was funnier)

Best Visual Effects

“Love and Monsters,” Matt Sloan, Genevieve Camilleri, Matt Everitt and Brian Cox

“The Midnight Sky,” Matthew Kasmir, Christopher Lawrence, Max Solomon and David Watkins

“Mulan,” Sean Faden, Anders Langlands, Seth Maury and Steve Ingram

“The One and Only Ivan,” Nick Davis, Greg Fisher, Ben Jones and Santiago Colomo Martinez

“Tenet,” Andrew Jackson, David Lee, Andrew Lockley and Scott Fisher (WINNER)

I haven’t looked too carefully at other smaller awards, but I feel there is a world of technical awards out there that Tenet deserves to win. I wonder if Tenet shouldn’t have gotten some recognition for Sound as well, alongside the sets, stunts, etc etc.

Best Documentary Feature

“Collective,” Alexander Nanau and Bianca Oana

“Crip Camp,” Nicole Newnham, Jim LeBrecht and Sara Bolder

“The Mole Agent,” Maite Alberdi and Marcela Santibáñez

“My Octopus Teacher,” Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed and Craig Foster (WINNER)

“Time,” Garrett Bradley, Lauren Domino and Kellen Quinn

Best Documentary Short Subject

“Colette,” Anthony Giacchino and Alice Doyard (WINNER)

“A Concerto Is a Conversation,” Ben Proudfoot and Kris Bowers

“Do Not Split,” Anders Hammer and Charlotte Cook

“Hunger Ward,” Skye Fitzgerald and Michael Scheuerman

“A Love Song for Latasha,” Sophia Nahli Allison and Janice Duncan

Best Animated Feature Film

“Onward” (Pixar)

“Over the Moon” (Netflix)

“A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon” (Netflix)

“Soul” (Pixar) (WINNER)

“Wolfwalkers” (Apple TV Plus/GKIDS)

Best Animated Short Film

“Burrow” (Disney Plus/Pixar)

“Genius Loci” (Kazak Productions)

“If Anything Happens I Love You” (Netflix) (WINNER)

“Opera” (Beasts and Natives Alike)

“Yes-People” (CAOZ hf. Hólamói)

Best Live-Action Short Film

“Feeling Through”

“The Letter Room”

“The Present”

“Two Distant Strangers” (WINNER)

“White Eye”

Best Sound

“Greyhound,” Warren Shaw, Michael Minkler, Beau Borders and David Wyman

“Mank,” Ren Klyce, Jeremy Molod, David Parker, Nathan Nance and Drew Kunin

“News of the World,” Oliver Tarney, Mike Prestwood Smith, William Miller and John Pritchett

“Soul,” Ren Klyce, Coya Elliott and David Parker

“Sound of Metal,” Nicolas Becker, Jaime Baksht, Michelle Couttolenc, Carlos Cortés and Phillip Bladh (WINNER)

Best Director

Thomas Vinterberg (“Another Round”)

David Fincher (“Mank”)

Lee Isaac Chung (“Minari”)

Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)

Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”)

This has been said, but it needs to be said again (and again)… Oscar Winner Chloe Zhao is the 2nd woman in the history of the Oscars (which is nearing close to a century) to win in this category and the first woman of Asian descent. Her award announced by last year’s – also Asian – winner Bong Joon Ho. THIS is what I want to be hearing in the news about Asians. Seeing all the side by side photo comparisons of them each posing with their two Oscars is sparking so much joy in my social media feeds.

Best Costume Design

“Emma,” Alexandra Byrne

“Mank,” Trish Summerville

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Ann Roth (WINNER)

“Mulan,” Bina Daigeler

“Pinocchio,” Massimo Cantini Parrini

When you take a step back and consider Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom as a whole, the look of the entire film really does grab you doesn’t it? Well deserved win.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

“Emma,” Marese Langan, Laura Allen, Claudia Stolze

“Hillbilly Elegy,” Eryn Krueger Mekash, Patricia Dehaney, Matthew Mungle

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal, Jamika Wilson (WINNER)

“Mank,” Kimberley Spiteri, Gigi Williams, Colleen LaBaff

“Pinocchio,” Mark Coulier, Dalia Colli, Francesco Pegoretti

I said this in my twitter best... in recent years it’s finally dawned on the Academy to stop simply awarding the period films in these categories. I fully support this, I just need to remember this when I’m making Oscar Pool picks in attempts to win money.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”)

Daniel Kaluuya (“Judas and the Black Messiah”) (WINNER)

Leslie Odom Jr. (“One Night in Miami”)

Paul Raci (“Sound of Metal”)

Lakeith Stanfield (“Judas and the Black Messiah”)

I’d like to thank Daniel Kaluuya’s mom and dad for having sex too.

Best International Feature Film

“Another Round” (Denmark) (WINNER)

“Better Days” (Hong Kong)

“Collective” (Romania)

“The Man Who Sold His Skin” (Tunisia)

“Quo Vadis, Aida?” (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

Another Round was an early favourite among audiences, I saw it back in the fall myself. I’m almost positive it’s the style of the film and a general lack of enthusiasm I have for cinema of Northern Europe (no offence, there are many exceptions but I don’t really jump out of my seat when I hear there’s a Scandinavian film festival in town) but I wouldn’t rave about this film. It’s decent but I was much more moved by Better Days (which is a Mandarin-spoken film, so I was entirely reliant on the subtitles despite it originating from HK) and much more interested in seeing Quo Vadis, Aida?

Best Adapted Screenplay

“Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern; Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad

“The Father,” Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller (WINNER)

“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao

“One Night in Miami,” Kemp Powers

“The White Tiger,” Ramin Bahrani

Looking at this list, I’m reminded that Regina King should have gotten a nomination for directing. Good script but her direction brought it to life.

Best Original Screenplay

“Judas and the Black Messiah.” Screenplay by Will Berson, Shaka King; Story by Will Berson, Shaka King, Kenny Lucas, Keith Lucas

“Minari,” Lee Isaac Chung

“Promising Young Woman,” Emerald Fennell (WINNER)

“Sound of Metal.” Screenplay by Darius Marder, Abraham Marder; Story by Darius Marder, Derek Cianfrance

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Aaron Sorkin

I’m so happy Emerald Fennell won, over Aaron Sorkin, who’s got enough awards he can live without this one despite Trial of the Chicago 7 being some good writing. There’s something to be said about a story so triggering, wracks many with guilt (I know it did that for me, and it better have done the same for many others that I know, because we all know the things we turned a blind eye to growing up in the years that we did. We remember the things that we cannot even bare to talk to each other about now.), and we still can’t help but be in awe and consider it the best damn story of the year.

Also tipping my hat to Minari (which Chef/Restuaranteur/TV celeb David Chang so accurately describes as the real “Marriage Story”) and Judas and the Black Messiah. And the absence of Da 5 Bloods needs to be pointed out, it should’ve been nominated for Screenplay.

Sound of Metal is many things, its performances, technical achievements, and even directing are superior, but script-wise… I liked It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004) better.

My post-Oscar ramble seems a little longer than usual (I mean, I do have a LOT more time than usual) so I won't recap my tweets of varying relevance and intelligence, you can find them all on my Twitter at https://twitter.com/palindr0me

[royalbratprince]

20 SOME followers I’d like to know better

Tagged by: @sage-fire , somewhere around 182 million years ago (thank you!) Tagging: Oh hell.  Uh.  ...............Hey, look, IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS THEN CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED AND TAG ME BACK SO I CAN SEE, OKAY?!  I suck at the tagging.  ...And doing things in a timely manner, but I just remembered it was Monday and I’m trying to be less.  ...Absent.

Name/Nickname: Orin, but you may know me as The Angst Fairy, Prince of Angst, or Dirty Old Punk.  ...I think there was another angst-related one in there somewhere, but.  ..........Welp. Gender: Whatever/Gender-Meh/Decepticon (seriously, I just... forever shrugging; call me what you like, I won’t be offended and it won’t be wrong) Height: I still don’t know, okay.  Smol but fierce. Hogwarts House: I don’t know, the uh... t-the cool one..? Favorite Animal: All of them.  Haven’t met any that I really dislike, so. Hours of Sleep: ...I try for 6, alright. Dogs or Cats: Both.  ...Maybe not in the same body, but that’s a discussion for science. Number of Blankets: Currently, three.  Because I finally found a blanket that works because New England sucks in the winter but not being crushed under layers is nice. Dream Trip: The Cup Noodle museum in Japan while Chris Parson is also there because I want to see his child-like joy. Dream Job: To get paid for what I’m already doing more reliably.  ...Alternately, stunt driving.  ...This becomes funnier when you understand that I do not have a driver’s license for very important reasons.  BUT maybe that’s because stunt driving is the better option, right? Time: 10:00 PM because that’s when I’m finally queuing this. Birthday: December 22.  A long time ago.  .........Holy shit that’s in a few weeks. Favorite Bands: There’s no way in hell I could possibly list all of them.  A lot of them.  From the origins of rock to random little things I’m thrown now.  Rockabilly, do-wop, both UK and New York punk, New Wave, hard rock, glam, hair metal, ‘80s ballad assholes, electronica; I like a lot of things and too many bands.  Please do not ask me about my playlists. Favorite Solo Artist: Gonna steal Atreyu’s answer because... actually they’re mine too, so: Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie.  ...And also Peter Gabriel.  Trent Reznor.  The music chaos god Neil Cicierega. ...I get the feeling if I continue I will go on forever, so those folks. Song stuck In My Head: ...Right now, “The End” by Planet Funk.  Give it ten minutes, it’ll be something else. Last Movie I Watched: ...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade last weekend.  Again.  Because bitches love Indy.

Last Show I watched: Crap, uh.  ......Um.  TV.  It was... recent.  ............I think Modern Family..?  Can you tell how often or how much attention I pay to TV? When did I create my Blog: Back in March.  ...What can I say, I gave in. What do I post/Reblog: Right now nothing, but when I’m not swamped with every other thing going on, RPs, drabbles, excruciatingly painful gif sets, and mostly polyship roadtrip support.  I mean, I gotta.

Last thing I Googled: ...the lyrics to “Wild Bird Flock to Me” (Peter Murphy) because I didn’t want to interrupt what was already playing to listen to one specific part. Why I chose My URL: ...I mean.  (No, I don’t honestly think Noctis is, or ever was, a brat.  But I will always call him that, because it amuses me.  ...Writing smut, though? 100000000% brat.) Original intent: RP blog for my very, very loud brat.  And sometimes drabble dump.  I mean I’m mostly successful when I’m not buried under exhausting offline things, so... score?

Other Blogs: Other active RP blogs: @stonecoldmeme (Prompto), @calamitysshatteredson (Sephiroth); art blog: @shinythingsbyorindrake ; personal blog can be found with digging

Following: 109 Followers: 148 (how... even) Lucky number: 13 Favorite Instrument: Guitar, probably.  I’m biased because that’s what I play.  ...But drums are fun too.  What am I wearing: ..................Fuzzy zebra pants and a Garfield shirt.  .........Don’t judge me. ...Fuzzy blue socks, too.  I like to be warm. Nationality: So recently my father delved into his side of the family’s history and discovered that while he’d been told his entire life that they were Irish, they were actually Scottish, and it hasn’t stopped amusing me since.  Alternately my mother’s side of the family is, I quote, “mostly French, I guess”, which amuses me for another reason.  I don’t know, I’m just pale as fuck man. Favorite Song: I could never choose one.  I couldn’t choose ten, apparently. Last Book I Read: Re-reading It by Stephen King.  Well, I was.  I tend to read when I travel and... not as much when I don’t.  If you don’t count fan fiction. Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like to Join: I’m going to get stared at so hard if I say FFXV but.  Like.  ..........Bad shit’s happening and everything is on fire, but at least it feels like there’s some hop eon Eos. *cough*  Uh... Star Trek.  ...Pre-reboot stuff.  I’m old, kids.  That said, Next Generation and Voyager were my jam so.  Medium-old.  And finally... uh... Tron.  Because I am a giant nerd and Tron: Legacy is my aesthetic.  Also jfc will someone please send a fucking light submarine out and HELP MY BOY.  But in the end Disney brought the franchise back just to brutally murder it in front of everyone so I get to be bitter for the rest of my life.

[girlsbtrs]

Artist Interview - Coyote Eyes

If you're looking for quintessential, clean pop, you won't find it in Coyote Eyes.

Coyote Eyes' (aka Jo Eubanks) music is haunting, with a cinematic twist. Featuring haunting vocals and jolting lyrics, this "young Sylvia Plath" will soothe those looking for the  dark side of pop. And for Christmas, she's released a special version of "O Come O Come Emmanuel." We spoke with her about her musical journey, her transition to cinematic pop,  and her decision to release a Christmas single.

First, I’m dying to know: where did you get the pseudonym Coyote Eyes from?

I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that in traditional folklore the coyote represents a wild array of paradoxes -- as does my music, and as do I. 

What first drew you to music?

My mother says I started singing before I started talking -- it’s just always been in me. I started training as a classical singer at age eight. I was one of those shy kids who became voracious about music as a way to feel connected. You know that feeling you get when your heart drops on a rollercoaster or the butterflies you get from sitting close to someone you’re infatuated with? That’s what music does to me. 

What inspires you most?

Traditionally, demons. I learned early on that I could either harness them or be harnessed by them. Currently, I’m more thematically inspired -- big ideas like madness, obsession, self-sacrifice. Sometimes I’ll even start with a historical or literary figure -- Ophelia, Elizabeth Bathory, or in the case of Blood Moon, a Salem Witch. 

You’ve been known for being an anti-sugary pop artist. You continuously lean into your writing and are now focusing on cinematic pop. Was this a natural progression?

When I first started I was actually pushed out of a lot of rooms because I was the *anti* sugary pop. I started at a time when pretty girls were supposed to write songs about waiting for a boy to call. I was writing about the dark corners of the human condition. 

And yes! Cinematic pop! Some people think of this as “movie music.” It’s something I’ve always wanted to do -- I drew early inspiration from composers like Clint Mansell, Nellee Hooper, Trent Reznor, and Atticus Ross. I come from a classical background so that certainly played into it as well -- I could geek out forever about the intersection of classical and contemporary. 

Anyways, cinematic music was always my intention, but it wasn’t until I teamed up with my current producer (Ruslan Odnoralov) that I was able to execute my vision. When you’ve had this idea in your head -- this thing you’ve always wanted to do -- and you’re finally able to do it, I can’t even tell you how amazing that feeling is. It’s like seeing a picture in your head and finally finding the materials to paint it. It’s like learning to fly. 

Switching to Christmas - you just released a cover of O Come O Come Emmanuel. What drove you to cover this song specifically? It’s a striking rendition.

Thank you! So I’ve always wanted to release Christmas music -- like seriously one of my top dreams. But as far as this song, when I was a kid we would sing it in my church choir every Christmas. It was so haunting, so melancholy, so real. It really tells the story of life in Israel before the birth of Christ -- the suffering, hope, and finally redemption. It’s beautiful. 

December also marks the end of a year AND, this year, a decade. How would you describe your artistic journey in the past 10 years?

Have you ever seen the “success map?” I’ll find a copy for you because I feel that it’s so important for every artist -- really everyone -- to see. 

That’s exactly what the past 10 years have looked like for me -- the right hand side. To me, “overnight success” or “blowing up” (I’m not saying I’m an overnight success by any means, but just go with me here) is an act of public recognition after years of unseen milestones, set backs, close calls, and starting over. I’m very open about my journey because I feel that everyone with a dream needs to hear it. The Coyote Eyes project is barely a year old -- but backed by years, and I mean *years* of other iterations and ventures. I will say, the one constant has been training -- no matter what’s going on, I train vocally -- that never changes.

But you know what? I actually think it was about 10 years ago that I finally agreed to write my first pop song. I say agreed because before that I was a singer and a poet. I treated those separately because I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough as a songwriter. It’s amazing what can happen when we say yes to the things that scare us. Ten years ago I didn’t consider myself a songwriter, and now I’m the only writer on many of my songs. I had to let go of the idea of being what other people wanted me to be (or what I thought they did) and really stay true to my own style. It’s atypical, it’s dark, and it’s different -- and that’s okay! Things started moving when I allowed myself and my ideals to be unbridled. 

It’s really cool you ask that question because I recently reconnected with an old friend and one of my very first writing partners, Trey Campbell, who is definitely blowing up right now -- he’s up for a Grammy and writing for the best artists in the biz. But when I think about us nearly 10 years ago, we were two young kids from North Carolina just starting out in Hollywood -- writing songs for the love of it and playing shows to 5 people (okay, that was just me) -- I mean, it’s amazing. I have such fond memories from those early days, and it’s incredible how life can come full circle. One of the coolest parts of the journey is seeing your friends achieve their dreams.

As far as me, the important takeaways from the past 10 years have been perseverance, self-sufficiency, starting over,

What are your dreams for 2020? Any future releases or shows?

My EP is coming out! Hopefully in the spring, so definitely keep an eye on my social media for announcements. 

I’m also doing a separate project with Ruslan Odnoralov, the producer of Blood Moon I mentioned earlier. We’re finishing that at the end of January and I’m so excited I can hardly see straight. 

I play a lot of shows so again, check my social media! I play The McKittrick Hotel December 18th, then Ludlow House on January 11th. I’m also playing Mercury Lounge early February -- that one will be announced soon.

I’d really love to go on tour in 2020 -- ideally as the opening act for another artist. I also have some dream collaborators on my list, like Justin Parker; writing with him would absolutely be a dream come true. I’d like to continue building the foundation for whatever the future of Coyote Eyes has in store. 

Thank you!

Thank you!

Follow Coyote Eyes on her website, Instagram, and Facebook.

- interview by Tess Dunn

[iamtryingtobelieve]

“On that tour, I was a mess, quite honestly. This was the peak of NINs' newfound rocket ship of fame. It distorted my personality and became overwhelming: to deal with having everyone treat you different, to going from not being able to afford a gas bill to show up to arenas full of people, who kind of think they know you. The line starts to blur between the guy onstage and the person you used to be. My way of dealing with life was to numb myself with drugs and alcohol, because it made me feel better and more equipped to deal with everything. My career was skyrocketing, but the scaffolding that was holding me up as a person was starting to collapse. I wasn't fully aware of how bad it was getting, but I knew, in my heart, that I was on an unsustainable, reckless, self-destructive path.

When I met David, he had been through that. And he was content. He was at peace with himself, with an incredible wife, clearly in love. There were a number of times where the two of us were alone, and he said some things that weren't scolding, but pieces of wisdom that stuck with me: "You know, there is a better way here, and it doesn't have to end in despair or in death, in the bottom." 

A full year later, I hit bottom. Once I got clean, I felt a tremendous amount of shame, of my actions and missed opportunities and the damage that I've caused in the past. And I thought back to the time when we were together a lot, and I wonder what that could have been like if I was at 100 percent. The "I'm Afraid of Americans" [video] falls into that category of me at my worst — out of my mind and ashamed of who I was at that time. So when I see that, I have mixed feelings  — grateful to be involved, and flattered to be a part of it, but disgusted at myself, at who I was at that time, and wishing I had been 100 percent me. And it nagged me.

A few years later, Bowie came through L.A. I'd been sober for a fair amount of time. I wanted to thank him in the way that he helped me. And I reluctantly went backstage, feeling weird and ashamed, like, "Hey, I'm the guy that puked on the rug." And again, I was met with warmth, and grace, and love. And I started to say, "Hey listen, I've been clean for ..." I don't even think I finished the sentence; I got a big hug. And he said, "I knew. I knew you'd do that. I knew you'd come out of that." I have goosebumps right now just thinking about it. It was another very important moment in my life.” - Trent Reznor, 2016

[midwestfuckboi]

ABC TAG

I was tagged by @all-aboard-the-misery-machine Thanks for the tag bro :-)

Age - 18

Biggest Fear -  My friends & family leaving me or dying.

Current Time - 3:07 PM (central time)

Drink You Last Had - Monster energy drink

Everyday Starts With - Either getting my dad coffee or waking up before everyone else and eating something.

Favorite Songs -  high by sir sly, the other side of paradise by glass animals, indigo children by puscifer, and eraser by nine inch nails. (currently)

Ghosts, Are They Real? - I personally believe that they aren’t, but who the fuck knows.

Hometown - (A few places in Minnesota, I don’t really like giving specific names/name)

In Love With - Trent Reznor or Allison Harvard, hehe.

Jealous Of- I’m one of those people with a naturally jealous personality (meaning I easily get jealous of say friend’s friends and stuff) but since I have a grasp on how fucked up it is to think that way, I’ve mostly had it under control. Also anyone who’s seen Nine Inch Nails live… Fuck you lucky fuckers XD.

Killed Someone - Nah, not in real life.

Last Time You Cried - Probably last week, I can’t remember a specific moment but I know I was upset with myself for awhile.

Middle Name - Starlight :-).

Number Of Siblings - Two older brothers and one older sister (all half siblings, and I only know one of my brothers and my sister).

One Wish - Live by the ocean.

Person You Last Called - My dad.

Questions Often Asked? -  umm I’m not sure. I guess I’ve been asked if I have a lisp (I do).

Reasons to Smile - Shelter & food, friends & family, music, cats, and nature.

Song You Last Sang - High by Sir Sly

Time You Woke Up - 5:45ish AM

Underwear Color - A very white pink, basically white.

Vacation Destination - Everywhere? I wish I could just travel my whole life.

Worst Habits - Picking at my scalp and doubting people’s interest in me (friendship wise)

X-Rays I’ve Had - My wrist when I was 7 or 8 (I broke it in two places, ended up having surgery) and my right ankle (twisted it and it stayed swollen for a month I think).

Your Favorite Food - Popcorn, Sesame or orange chicken, white chocolate or twix, and cucumbers. 

Zodiac Sign - Scorpio (November)

I tag @snow-fi, @idkmyselfanymore-pleasehelp, @nailingtrent, @heart, @pinnsvin7, @tonyxtwentytwo, @gaba-inhibitor, @penetratethevibe, and whoever else is interested (it’s optional as well for anyone tagged).