#everyone should love michael burnham though

[mylittleredgirl]

i just had a thought about why the internet is, for me personally, eroding my capacity to disagree with people.

i recently had a longterm mutual post a few things about how much they personally hate a character i love, and while that's cool and i support it and whatever, my instant emotional response was something i would translate as "i shouldn't have to see this."

without fully realizing it, i'm sitting there evaluating our whole association based on their totally non-rude, from-their-own-perspective opinion about one of many different interests we have in common.

i grew up in a small town (where i now live again). my schools growing up ranged from a one-room-schoolhouse with 1-3 kids per grade up to 60 kids per grade in high school. to have any friends or social interaction at all, i had to ferret out things in common with kids who hated most of what i liked (and hated most things i am, but that's another story). if someone watched the same tv show as i did, even if they hated my favorite character, i would be over the moon. i didn't stay in touch with most of those people when i moved away, but i valued those friends while i had them, and ignoring things i didn't like about people and still hanging out when we had nothing in common is a pretty useful skill to have.

but the internet is the opposite of that school. some of it is that people are essentially or literally faceless, and there are no real consequences for vanishing from their follower list, but i think there's something about how there are effectively infinite people to interact with.

on any given topic, there will be someone on the world wide web who completely agrees with me. if that person changes their mind, there will be someone else. obviously i will put in some effort to overlook differences when it comes to people who i already have personal relationships with, but the big big sea of the internet makes acquaintances replaceable.

and in the real world, most of our human interactions are acquaintances. (i'm american, so i call them "friends" as soon as i learn their last names and have one single positive interaction with them, but you know what i mean.) most friendships start as casual acquaintances, and end up that way again if you don't put effort into nurturing them.

and like, sure, i could ask this blogger "can you tag your dislike of this fictional character so i never have to see it," and that's great for tumblr, but it's kind of a weird thing that we have that ability. it's weird that i would have the desire to curate an illusion that everyone i interact with completely agrees with me on such a granular level, about anything that's emotionally important to me, because seeing evidence that they don't upsets me.

i wonder what that's doing to me on a broader level. i think i'm less willing to put effort into forging and maintaining three-dimensional friendships when they involve compromise (like, i don't like going to movies, but that's my coworker's main hobby and she invites me. and i always say thank you but no, because i don't like going to movies, but if i went, it would help build a friendship with a nice person, and we could still be friends who go to the movies whenever we stop working at the same place). i have a harder time overlooking differences of opinion than i used to and am more likely to avoid people and let friendships die rather than negotiate a way through those differences. i have less tolerance all around for awkward conversations.

and i don't always feel the immediate consequences of any of that, because in the short term, i can replace some of those in-person social interactions with the zillion people on the internet who agree with me about things like television characters, for as long as they do agree with me.

(i want to add, in case anyone for some reason takes this as public-facing advice: you should unfollow and block blogs that upset you, because literally everyone's life on here is better for it. tumblr fandom is a hobby space that hopefully is not the only center of your life, and it should be fun and non-stressful! i am in no way encouraging personal growth through reading anti tags. you should definitely not practice having challenging conversations by arguing about a stranger's opinion on their own post. especially if you reblog that person's post from me.)

it's just a new awareness for me personally about how what's normal and good on here might be affecting my personal relationships off tumblr, and how i should probably suck it up and go to the movies.

[vreenak]

My knowledge on Star Trek is pretty limited, I've watched a handful of the movies, almost nothing of the og tv show but I've watched the modern movies with Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto and Zoe saldana. Also the first season of that show with Michael Burnham? But that's all

So, my question here is... How many versions of Spock are there? And how would you rate them? Any favorite?

Hey, thanks so much for the ask! I really have no excuse for why it took so long to answer it. I guess this is the kind of question where you either write a whole essay or answer it in a sentence. I always put it off, thinking I would sit down one day and magically write that essay… let's not kid ourselves, though, I'm not known for my fandom meta. But I'm determined to give you more than a sentence. So here goes!

You asked me to rank the Spocks, of which there are 3. *queue some huge Spock fan swooping in and berating me for how wrong I am* 😅 But yeah, we have Leonard Nimoy's Spock (the original one everyone has heard of), the one from the AOS movie, and - let's get this out of the way - my favorite, the one from Strange New Worlds (he also has a few (?) appearances in Discovery … I think in season one? So maybe you've seen him.) This sounds weird because he's such an icon - and I do appreciate him a lot - but… Spock doesn't particularly interest me? I'm not a huge watcher of the original Star Trek series either (yes I know, shame on me! 🙈), although I have watched it several times over the years. I don't feel like I really know Nimoy's Spock that well? I'm more interested in Vulcan culture in general. Of course, all that wouldn't exist w/o Original Spock AND Nimoy's input during production. He laid the foundation. So we owe him a lot.

That being said, I love that, in SNW, we're getting to know Spock and the Vulcan people in general from a fresh perspective. The way they're exploring intraracial dating (Spock and his fiancée T'Pring), interracial dating (Spock and Nurse Chapel), Spock coming to terms with his human side, navigating friendship and camaraderie on a majority human spaceship… It's just really well done. And idk if you've watched a bit of Strange New Worlds, but it's just an extremely beautiful show, simply stunning, visually. And let's face it, Ethan Peck is easy on the eyes as well. We're always told that Vulcans are physically stronger than humans and I love that he's looking the part? And that guys can act. Just an overall great casting choice.

I should probably add that I'm in the minority with my opinion. I have a feeling that most fans don't like Peck's Spock, but I think both the actor and the writing team are doing a great job. I love the show's humor and that they're not taking themselves and the characters too seriously, not even Saint Spock!

And of course there's Zachary Quinto, wouldn't want to forget about him. Gotta be honest with you, I only have eyes for Captain Pike and Uhura and mayyyybe Kirk when I'm watching the movie, but Quinto!Spock is doing a good job, I guess! He definitely has the sharpest haircut of them all! (and I lovelovelove little Spock!!!! Like, Spock as a kid? Do you remember that scene where he's at school and some meanies bully him because he's half human? Oh my gosh he's the cutest little kid and he looks so sad and I always want to give him a big hug!)

Anyway. Thanks for letting me ramble! I know Star Trek is not for everyone, but at this point there's a big variety of shows, so if there's any way for you to catch an episode or two, give it another try! 💜

[dragon-kazansky]

Infuriatingly oblivious | Christopher Pike

Gender neutral reader

Dedicated to @lieutenantn

How could someone so wonderful, so funny, so beautiful, so brilliant, be so oblivious?

Every day he watches you go about your business unaware of his feelings for you, no matter what he does. You don't see what he's trying to express, and now he feels he must take a more direct approach.

Every day was filled with soft smiles, cute compliments on both your work and yourself, little touches here and there, the odd pet name, a wink in your direction. You didn't see how he saved all of these for you. No one else got that treatment.

Everyone else could see.

Pike could see everyone else could see.

You were the only one aboard the ship who couldn't, and as much as he loved that, it was infuriating too. He couldn't blame you though. You were not at fault for not seeing his affections for what they were.

He thought perhaps he wasn't being clear enough, that's why he had had come to the conclusion he would have to tell you.

When he first met you, he did not expect you to become someone so special. Captain Pike valued all his crew, but you had wiggled your way into is heart and settled there. He could not shake the feelings that had blossomed into something so wonderful.

It wasn't a mere crush. He was head over heels in love with you and he couldn't keep quiet any longer.

Christopher Pike was going make it known he was in love with you and whether you felt the same or not, he would deal with at that later.

You were up on the bridge helping Burnham. His eyes were on you. Michael had caught him looking at you several times. She was amused by his longing gaze.

You were work hard, showing Michael what you had found. You had wanted to prove yourself worthy of Starfleet. You had mentioned before that you didn't feel worthy of the uniform, but Pike had told you himself that no one who is unworthy makes as far as you have.

You just smiled and told him you would prove your worth to him.

He smiled, but he felt sad you didn't think you were worthy to him.

Christopher watched you talk to Michael, who was looking over your reports. Burnham looked impressed and there was no doubt you had once again pulled off some amazing research.

It made Pike smile.

He was resting his chin on his hand, elbow propped up on the rest beside him. He was so focused on you, he didn't notice the crew members sharing looks with each other.

Michael smiled and looked back down at her console.

You excused yourself.

Pike got up and gave the bridge to Saru for now. He wanted to speak to you. This would be his chance to be direct with you.

You smiled shyly as he stepped into the turbo lift with you. He said nothing as you reached the lower floors. He followed you out and walked with you toward your quarters.

That's when he took his chance.

"Can I speak with you?"

You look up at him.

"Of course, Captain."

He smiles, but it's a right smile, doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Not as your captain."

You seem to stutter in your movements, but you nod and let him into your room. He walks in and the door closes. You step further into the room and keep your eye on your captain.

"There is something I need you to know."

"Oh?"

You figure it must be important going by the way he was looking at you, but it can't possibly be anything attaining to your work as he wouldn't normally do this in your private quarters.

Before you stand the Captain Pike you have known ever since he became your captain. He is as poised and confident as a captain should be, yet beyond those eyes you sense nervousness.

He's nervous to share whatever this information is with you. In turn, that makes you nervous.

Maybe you had done something wrong...

"Is something the matter?" You ask, needing to know if you've gone wrong somewhere.

When Pike picks up on your distress, he shakes his head and drops the captain persona. Now he's just Christopher Pike and it's a comfort to you.

"No, not at all. In fact, it's something... wonderful!"

"Something wonderful? Captain, please elaborate."

Chris takes a deep breath, runs his tongue over his lips and looks you in the eye as he takes a step forward. If he's going to say it, he's going to say it now.

"I like you."

You stare at him. For a moment you are certain you missed him. Perhaps you were hearing something you wanted to hear and your mind was playing tricks with you.

"I'm sorry?"

Pike looks a little more nervous now. Your usually well put together Captain was losing his composure because he wanted you to know how he felt.

"I like you. Very much."

"I don't think I understand..."

You look confused. It was hard not to think you looked cute, but he had to stay focused. He needed to be clear.

"My feelings for you, from the moment we met, have only grown into something I cannot control any further. Every moment I get to spend with you is a blessing. Every time I see you my day gets better. I look forward to our late night conversations and our lunches. I find myself wondering what you're up to when you're not with me."

You stand there and you listen.

Pike sighs and takes another step toward you. The distance between you isn't much any more.

"You can tell me you feel nothing and I'll go back to being your captain, but if you do feel something... anything, then behind closed doors I'm your Christopher. If you'll let me..."

You say nothing and it makes him feel all the more nervous.

"Am I... not being clear enough?"

You find your voice.

"Oh no... you're... you're clear."

He looks at you expectantly. "Say something. Even if it's get out."

"I'd never say anything like that to my superior," you say.

"I'm not here as your captain, remember."

You stand there.

He sighs.

"I understand. I'll leave you be."

Christopher goes to leave your room, only to stop when you grasp his arm. He turns slowly back to you. Pike is unable to make out your expression. You look confused, nervous, but desperate to say something. Your lips part as of to say something, but you have no words to give him.

So you do the next best thing.

You grab at his collar and pull him down to your level. His lips meet yours eagerly. His arms embrace you as he kisses you. You lose yourself in him.

This was the answer he wanted. This is exactly what he needed.

You felt the same, you just didn't know how to say it. This was enough.

He smiles as his breaks the kiss and looks at you.

"You feel it too?"

"I do."

"Why didn't say anything sooner?" He asks. All he would have needed was a hint.

"Because I didn't know you felt this way."

He chuckles and shakes his head softly.

"I haven't exactly been subtle, sweetheart."

You blush and try to hide your grin, but he doesn't let you. He wants to see your beautiful smile.

"I'm not very observant."

"You're very observant, just not when it comes to how I feel about you," he teases.

You roll your eyes and bring him into another kiss.

This went better than he had anticipated.

[atopfourthwall]

Ive only recently gotten into classic Star Trek so I don't think I can properly answer but what is it specifically about Discovery and recent Star Trek that classic Trek fans hate?

Putting this behind a cut because... it's a lot.

Well, first of all a big rejection of it is just on an aesthetic level. Up until the 2009 movie (which was considered a reboot, even with time travel elements), Star Trek tried to treat the original series and how it was portrayed as pretty sacrosanct. Sure, they might occasionally make jokes about goofier aspects of it and discard some of the stupider stuff (like how in the final episode, penned by Gene Roddenberry himself, that women weren't allowed to Captain starships), but how TOS looked? That's how the 23rd century looked. Buttons and multi-colored outfits and boxy computers and smooth, undetailed ships WAS what was appropriate for the time. When Scotty came back in TNG, they had him on the holodeck and it was the TOS bridge. When DS9 traveled back in time to that era for an episode? They went onto the Enterprise and visited it. When in an Enterprise 2-parter we had a TOS-era ship? It looked like a TOS ship. They even did a 2-parter on Enterprise to explain why Klingons had smooth foreheads when later (and earlier) they didn't. Star Trek up until then cared about maintaining that continuity of appearance. But Discovery is set in the TOS era... but nothing looks like TOS. Even when we got the Enterprise and those uniforms and we saw inside the ship, it was an upgraded form. The only logic I've seen people try to argue about WHY it doesn't look like it actually did was "Well, audiences won't accept something as cheap as TOS being futuristic." Well, then you've got a few responses there: -Don't set in TOS era, then. -That's horseshit, because audiences from the 90s through the 2000s accepted it just fine. Even a piece of dialogue from DS9 explained it perfectly: "I LOVE 23rd century design." It LOOKS cheap, but it was just the aesthetics of the period. And the Enterprise 2-parter it still looked good in HD. Hell, arguably it looked BETTER in HD because they knew how to light it and create mood and its own unique flavor. -It's even more horseshit because people are STILL going back and watching it even today, as indicated by you saying you've started watching it, so clearly it's not that much of a barrier. But what's even more egregious is the TECHNOLOGY. You might be able to accept updated aesthetics if at least matches what was present during the period... and it doesn't. Holographic displays and communication (holodeck technology AT ALL, frankly - it's possible it was there, but TNG seemed pretty adamant that the holodecks were fairly new, very impressive technology), weapons not looking or acting like they traditionally did, Enterprise and Discovery having R2D2-style repair droids that certainly did not exist in TOS, the wrong sound effects being frequently employed, replicator technology for good-looking food instead of food dispensers that gave out marshmallows and cubes, and honestly the tech level shown in Discovery looks just as advanced - if not MORE advanced than seen on TNG 100 years later. And this is a minor thing, but despite the attempt to make the future LOOK futuristic, from a cultural perspective, the future looks... way too damn similar to now. The excessive swearing (it was said in particular in Star Trek 4 that while they certainly did cuss, it was less common and they sure as hell weren't dropping F-bombs), a party on Discovery that looked like a rave (when previously it seemed like the most popular music and culture of the 23rd/24th century was considered fairly high-brow entertainment [classical music, Shakespeare, great works of literature and plays, etc.] - and while you could certainly argue that that snootiness and love of that stuff is a problem with Star Trek and a sign of how sterile and homogenized it is, THAT is the future they presented and a character in Voyager loving some of the goofier parts of 20th century culture like jukeboxes and old sci-fi serials was considered unusual), and just the general way people talk betrays the idea that the writers aren't thinking about how society changes in the future. It's just the modern day, but with cooler technology. But hey, let's set aside the general aesthetics - some people aren't going to mind that and find

ways to handwave away a lot of stuff (even Discovery season 2 TRIED to handwave away stuff like the holographic communications, but did a piss-poor job of it). This brings us to the problem of the WRITING. And the problem with the writing is a big Michael Burnham-shaped indentation. To be clear, I don't mind Michael as a character or her actress - there are interesting aspects to her, centering a Star Trek show around the science officer is a neat idea (though that means you should probably NAME IT AFTER HER and not around the ship, because it suggests this is a standard ensemble group and not JUST her)... but the actual execution is that it feels like the entire universe bends over backwards for HER. She has a unique relationship with a beloved longtime character that is retconned in. She has unique relationships with several important characters to the point where the fate of billions of people hinges on her and the decisions she makes. She is presented as almost always correct about everything, and those that oppose her are often wrong, naïve, or active enemies. Now, this is less of an issue in the third season - but that has its own unique problems - but in the first season, the resolution of two major storylines (mirror universe and the Klingon war) revolves around her and her relationship to the Terran Emperor and Lorca. In season 2, her mother trying to help or save her is the basis of the ENTIRE friggin' plot with time travel and the like, with special knowledge and history having to do with her and everyone ready to abandon their lives for her so she won't be alone when she has to go to the future when arguably they barely know her (the timeline of the show is debatable). Season 3 has a few different problems with her - the first is that she keeps being involved in things that don't concern her (why is she going down to Trill?) and she keeps violating orders. Now, her violating orders is a problem throughout the entirety of Discovery - in fact, it's kind of the instigating factor OF the series. And arguably, other Star Trek characters are guilty of that and they face no consequences, just as she faces none... and yet it's the brazenness with which it happens, and in those other series it's arguable because the series tries to avoid excessive continuity changes for its episodic nature, so the status quo MUST return to normal... but Discovery is pivoted as one of MAJOR continuity, so her lack of consequences (and indeed eventual PROMOTION) is baffling to the point of frustration. Now again, let me be clear here - she is not a bad character in and of herself. Honestly what it shows is that being the science officer on a starship is not where her talents lie. She should be in a position where she has a lot more freedom to act and not in a major command structure... but being in that command structure, what we see in season 3 is that she lacks the discipline, emotional maturity, responsibility, leadership qualities, and general other traits necessary to be a Captain. Only once during season 3 did she display such a quality - putting the safety of the Federation above a friend and colleague... but other times she will happily disobey orders and put herself and others in harm's way, creating potential new problems. Now, again, Star Trek is rife with characters doing that... but usually not the Captains. And, in fact, when this happened once on DS9 with one officer disobeying orders and putting their own personal feelings above the greater responsibility, it was made VERY clear that the incident would mean that they would never be able to command a starship because of the unofficial reprimand. What's even more frustrating about her is that the character is ALWAYS shoved to the forefront so much to the point where we just get sick of her. SHE is the one giving log entries (usually pretty piss-poor ones, at that - very flowery and nonsensical and kind of dumb) and not the Captain. SHE is the one given so much focus and how the plot of the episode affects her. Barely anyone else gets any focus episodes - I STILL can't

remember the names of some of the secondary characters because they're so rarely said, and a PTSD-related plotline in season 3 for one of the secondary characters basically gets resolved OFF-SCREEN. Michael would be fine if we actually had a chance to miss her... but we never do. Arguably one of the best episodes of the show is in season 2, when it focuses on Saru and his people because Michael DOES take a back seat. It's his story and his development and problems relating to him and his people. And even if, again, we forgave the idea of so much focus on her even in plots that aren't about her... she never seems to really change that much. She'll TALK about how she's changed, but I see no real difference in the way she acts (MAYBE season 1 to 2, where in season 1 she was stiffer and more Vulcan-like, but that's it). But hey, let's assume that's not a problem for you - you really, REALLY like Michael and are fine with so much focus on her. Simply put, the writing of the rest of the show... is just kind of dumb. The ship is powered by magic mushrooms that let it teleport everywhere because the universe has super fungus capillaries throughout it that nobody can see and also it's magic and can resurrect the dead. The time travel plot of season 2 doesn't make any sense when you sit down and diagram it. Well-established Trek lore is just kind of sprinkled in, but now in ways that doesn't match what it was before or at least in ways that completely recolor how it's supposed to work, because it needs to serve THIS plot. Everyone remembering a murdererous monster fondly after she leaves because "Hey, she was coooool." The explanation for the big mystery in season 3 is just fricking stupid and one of the two big reasons why I've finally given up on Discovery, because it's just so absurd, doesn't match how anything works, and just feels like the writers giving the middle finger to the audience because they care more about "YOU MUST FEEEEEEL THINGS!" instead of it making sense. And indeed, there is certainly a balance to be made of plot vs. emotion-driven storytelling - some stories are dumb, but are forgivable because the character writing and emotion are so strong that they override how goofy the plot is... but sometimes a plot is just so dumb it overrides anything I'm SUPPOSED to feel. And it would help if I already liked the show, already gave it some benefit of the doubt... but I don't and it hasn't done enough to impress me. A little thing that's a problem with ALL of current modern Trek shows is that whole sprinkling lore thing - I don't think a single episode goes by in ANY current modern Trek series that doesn't have a random reference to classic Trek lore. A name, a line of dialogue, etc. It comes across like the creators don't trust you to enjoy it on its own merits, but want you to like it because "Hey, remember thing? We know about thing! Like us because we mentioned thing!" But hey, I recognize that these are things that other people may not have any problem with or just disagree in general. But for me and my family, these are the big ones that keep us from enjoying it. Hell, my brother and dad still watch it for hatewatching purposes, but I was done after season 3. I gave it plenty of chances to impress me, and while each season MARGINALLY got better as it went along, I'm tired of waiting to actually like it and to stop feeling like it thinks I'm a fucking idiot. If other people still like it, great - it clearly appeals to them in a way that it doesn't appeal to me and they are free to enjoy it. Other people probably have their own issues, but this long, rambly bit is the major stuff for me.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

for the ship headcanon meme: star trek pairing of choice, #16-#20?

Bet you thought I forgot about this ask meme, fuckers!  And you’re right, I did, but the beauty of forgetting is that sometimes you remember.  Anyway, as always, it’s Michael/Saru Hours, lads.

16) When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

This is not a headcanon, but I have this fragment of a fic idea in my head based on this question, and that fragment of a fic idea is like...some kind of case fic where Discovery finds a planet being ravaged by Basically A Zombie Apocalypse and Michael and Saru get stranded there.  Ideally, for my personal enjoyment, I would want to slot it into the plot of s1 as early as possible, because the best/worst dynamic there would be Michael choking with guilt and yet still one of the finest scientific minds in Star Fleet, and Saru unable to keep himself from pressing on the fresh bruise of loss, unable to trust her, and the two of them still working together flawlessly.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it?  Even when they can’t stand each other, they argue like a choreographed dance, and when the chips are down and they have to think on their feet, they still move like Georgiou’s trusted right and left hands.

Anyway.  That, but make it zombies.

17) When they find a time machine, where do they go?

If Michael came into possession of a time machine that actually allowed her to reliably control where she went and let her come back, I think she would sit down and try to do the temporal math to figure out how to avert the war.  I do not, however, believe that Michael and Saru, survivors of a fair amount of timeline hopping already, would actually risk going back in time.  I think they would both talk about wanting to go back, specifically because they know the other will talk them out of it, but I don’t think they would do it.

That being said, I would love a lotus eater prison AU where Michael and Saru are trapped in an idyllic dream of a world where the Shenzhou was never destroyed, Michael was being prepared to be promoted off the ship as a captain, and Saru was preparing to take her place, ft a lot of sadness about Georgiou and Michael and Saru working together to find a way to wake up.

18) When they fight, how do they make up?

Michael wears Raised On Vulcan tattooed on her face, sometimes, and especially when she defensive or guilty--if she’s angry with Saru, she’ll tell him exactly what she thinks he’s doing wrong, to his face, and it takes her a long time to learn that she should pull that punch a little more with people she cares about.  On the upside, that means that, when she feels like she’s been out of line and unnecessarily harsh, she’ll walk right up to Saru and tell him, blunt as anything, what she did, why she thinks it was wrong, and that she understands if he’s angry with her.  

This was initially…a weird experience for Saru on several levels, if he’s being honest.  A lot of his experience with people is colored heavily by the fact that very few people know how to deal with Kelpiens, and that means that he’s either handled like glass or he puts in the work to be treated like any of the other crew members. He’s not really sure how to deal with someone who handles him with exactly the same unemotional ruthlessness as everyone else, and it’s disorienting, and it makes him angry that it’s disorienting, because that’s what he wants, but also, Michael is sometimes an asshole.  She’s the first person that he’s ever argued with on the regular—really argued, a push and counterpush, shoving each other away from the science console and pulling out ad hominem attacks in a way that visibly infuriates Michael’s Vulcan training.  But quite frankly, they never felt like they needed to apologize for those early fights, under Georgiou.  It was part of the ship dynamic, to have Burnham and Saru trying to take strips off each other in a very professional and scientific manner.  As long as Saru never took a cheap shot over Michael’s upbringing and Michael resisted the impulse to go full xenoanthropologist on Saru’s species, they were very good at fighting.

(Personally I am of the belief that Michael only tried to pull the I understand where you’re coming from because of what your species makes you after the mutiny, after she was trying to be nice.  Before then, she expected Saru to perform to her standards and fuck the details.  Half the reason he’s so coldly furious with her over it is because he knows she’s trying to manipulate him, because if she wasn’t, she would never play that card, because no matter how nasty their fights were, she always fought with him as a person, not as a Kelpien.)

19) Where do they go on their first date?

There’s a fic that bounces around my brain every time I watch Discovery, and it’s about Michael and Saru having a first date (sort of) very late at night, when they’re both having trouble sleeping.  It’s not an arranged date, they’re not even really friends even though they’ve gotten past the stage of Michael letting Saru flay her alive for her guilt, but Michael is having trouble sleeping and she’s not a prisoner anymore, so she wanders, and Saru, frankly, sleeps like hypervigilant garbage since the Binary Stars, so he has a preferred hiding spot on one of Discovery’s few observation decks.  As Lorca likes to point out, they’re not a goddamn pleasure cruiser, but Star Fleet never built a ship without at least one view panel, not even their top-secret war machine.

Michael is avoiding people—she hates being asked why she’s awake, gets tangled up in her automatic shame over not being able to control her emotions.  It’s the middle of the “night” by ship standards, but Discovery seethes with activity around the clock, especially since Stamets pulls regular all-nighters when he gets really entranced and often has to be peeled away from his work by Local Exasperated Doctor Hugh Culber.  So she ducks into the parts of the ship that she usually doesn’t go, the places that are more for socializing and are empty at this hour, the places that aren’t often used, the places that are quiet.

She finds the observation deck dim and blessedly silent, with the stars spreading infinitely outside.  The room is faintly lit by the nebula off to the starboard bow, the one they’re using to hide their signature while they run some necessary repairs.  It’s a practical use, but it’s also beautiful, every window in the ship glowing with warm reds and golds, and Michael still finds the stars soothing after all this time, and so she drifts up to the glass with the vague plan of sitting down and spending an hour or two there in an attempt at meditation.  She only sees Saru, leaning back against the edge of the viewing window, when she’s close enough to nearly trip over one of his long legs, stretched out in front of him.

Michael, of course, apologizes, and turns to leave.  Saru never really does have a good answer, as to why he stops her.  But he doesn’t ask any questions about why she’s awake and she doesn’t ask any questions about what he’s doing here, and instead they sit in relative quiet for a while before Saru sits up straighter and offers Michael, again, a small bowl of fruit. It’s not familiar to her, this time, but he says it won’t hurt her, that it’s sort of like a lychee, and she believes him.  It leaves a bit of thin red juice on her fingers when she bites into the first one, and he recommends eating them whole to avoid it while she ruefully sucks the juice off her thumb.  It’s good—less sweet than she expected.  Saru settles next to her in the middle of the window and sets the bowl between them, and she asks how he always manages to have fresh fruit, and he admits that he can wring a lot more out of the replicators since he never gets meat. Somehow it turns into—talking.

Michael is startled to realize, around the hour mark of murmured conversation, that she might have literally never just talked to Saru before. It’s—nice.

(Because I’m physiologically incapable of letting things be nice, if I wrote this fic there would be an immediate sequel of Observation Deck Chats Redux, featuring them doing basically the same thing but after Michael gets back from the Mirrorverse.  Michael leans against Saru’s shoulder in a way that she would never, if she hadn’t been awake with nightmares and grief for pushing three days, and she tells him about the Empire like she’s confessing her sins, and they talk quietly about the ghost haunting their ship in the shape of Empress Philippa Georgiou. It’s not nice, but not for lack of kindness.)

20) Where do they go on holiday?

I think Saru and Michael would have two very distinct kinds of “holiday” and they have two destinations accordingly.

The first kind of holiday is Nerd Holiday, in which they find an unexplored planet and appoint themselves to the away team—everyone else on the away team is wryly aware that they are, essentially, third-wheeling a date, but Discovery has watched this whole situation unfold and honestly the popular opinion is that it would actually be easier to deal with a little bit of PDA than the current Very Professional Mutual Adoration Show.  Local Red Shirt Absolutely Agonized By The Very Correct Ten Inches Of Space Between Her Captain And First Officer, Reports As They Come.  Michael and Saru are pleasantly unaware of this and are having a great time arguing over whether they need another sample of that plant if it’s just a different color.

The second kind of holiday is actual fucking shore leave.  They both prefer planets or stations with a large variety of species—Saru is uneasy with being the center of attention among strangers, and since he stands head and shoulders above a decent percentage of the Federation, it’s hard to avoid unless they’re in mixed company; Michael never quite recovered from the perpetual sense of disjoint when it comes to being around all humans or all Vulcans, so being in a place where everyone is different makes her feel less out of place.  Neither of them like big crowds, so they’re the tourists who immediately leave the usual Tourist Area and find somewhere else to be, which has its ups and downs.  The first time they get into trouble on a totally safe colony planet because they decided to go exploring, there’s a beat of them looking at each other and silently agreeing that they won’t be telling the crew about this, because there’s already a running ship joke about what trouble magnets they are and they do NOT need to feed anyone more material.

[chacusha]

Star Trek: Legends liveblogging (2/?)

More thoughts:

I've had the chance to check out Crusher. She's a bit tricky to use because a strategy involving her relies on damage being fairly evenly distributed across the whole party. That is, she doesn't work so well with a tank who is taunting or with enemy AI that focuses attacks on the weakest character (which I think is a thing some mobs do) -- McCoy is much better suited to those scenarios. I was able to get Crusher to work in story mode a bit with Geordi and a tank. If the tank is already behind cover, the tank can taunt and Geordi can put up new cover after the one in front of the tank breaks. This minimizes damage to the whole party. If the tank is not behind cover but two non-tank characters are, Geordi can cover the remaining non-tank character. In this case, the tank doesn't taunt and hopefully the enemies distribute their attacks roughly evenly. I think I should unlock another skill for Crusher, because otherwise she doesn't have much to do during the first couple of rounds other than weak attacks. A buffing skill would be great.

Hm... so I tried to give Crusher Sterilization field, but it takes TWO turns to activate, so that's not helpful.

God, every single one of Khan's animations is so Extra. I haven't seen the movie where he is the main antagonist so I have no idea how accurate this is, but it is so funny to me.

OMG I got Quark! I have no idea how to use him but I will find out once he's a bit more leveled up.

I love some of these alien planets featured in the story mode. The lighting and colors are so pretty!

Janeway is not bad to use in story mode, once I gave her Defense Pierce. It's not as good as Riker's (since it isn't available on turn 1) but it's a pretty beastly attack. I'm using Janeway with Seven of Nine and it works well for story mode because Seven of Nine's shielding ability will keep the party safe long enough for Janeway's demolishing attack to come out. In general, Seven of Nine's shielding ability is really good??

"Time to take out the trash!" -- I'm so glad they gave Janeway her super cheesy one-liners in this game.

Janeway is also quite a weird/situational character to use because her random attacks can really mess up a taunting strategy, and also sometimes distributing damage across multiple characters is actually useful, but also it can be pretty unreliable.

I'm using T'Pol and Seven of Nine together, which means I am halfway there to building my "badass women in unnecessary catsuits" squad. All I need is Deanna (not in this game) and Kira (currently too low power level, but maybe I should try to put her in because I'm curious) and it will be complete.

Update: Apparently Deanna is on her way 👀 And it's Commander Deanna too, so she's in her Starfleet uniform 👀👀

They made T'Pol a kick chick in this game. T'Pol's voice is too high-pitched, though. I feel it should be deeper/huskier, similar to Michael's.

Okay, playing with Kira now and I feel like they missed a chance to make her default attack feature her signature "elbow someone then clasp her hands together and wallop them upside the chin with both hands" thing she does. Making her do a one-two punch like a boxer is so weird. (Huh, apparently the double-fist punch is a thing Star Trek made up to look like a futuristic fighting style.)

I'm still trying to figure her (Kira) out. She's certainly speedy and good at dishing out a lot of damage to a single enemy, but she has trouble dealing with large mobs and has low health.

OMG Sulu's fighting style is utterly ridiculous and I love it. It's odd that there's no animation for his counter -- the enemy just mysteriously takes damage.

I've given Worf his counter ability and he's a beast with it. Has very "if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!" vibes.

Wow, Picard and Kirk both have a great set of skills. Picard's Attacker buff on turn 1 plus morale boost on turn 2 are great (probably not for PVP, though, because they come out too late). Kirk's morale + attack up on turn 1 are great for PVP pressure (but my Kirk is still too low level for me to put him in yet).

I've finally got enough characters high enough level to try to survive the later chapters of story mode. I was successful with a "Tech Buffing team" consisting of characters who buff and use the Tech stat primarily: Hugh Culber, Geordi, Borg Queen, plus B'Elanna (I could also use Sela instead, but I figured B'Elanna's turn 1 tech attack is more reliable and benefits from getting buffed beforehand).

I was also successful with a highly conservative "Defensive Morale team" consisting of Picard, Geordi, Martok, and I think Seven of Nine, probably? (Uhura is still too low-level to be put in but she would also be great for this.) By turn 3, everyone has so many shields and so much morale. Martok's turn 3 heal all skill is actually great for long-haul story battles. It doesn't heal that much (due to Martok's low Tech, I think) but it heals and cleanses everyone and it comes out at a time when that might be needed (as opposed to Crusher who has the heal/buff order reversed where she can heal immediately but can only buff later). And he's a good dedicated attacker the rest of the time.

I'm getting a bit better at PVP strategies. (Still using my "starter party with Odo" A Team for it.) Like, if I see Riker, I need to debuff him immediately with Burnham. Otherwise, if I see Geordi, Sela, or Seven of Nine behind cover, I need to break the cover immediately so that they can be taken down by Riker in turn 1, or they'll start causing a bunch of trouble. (Sela was nerfed recently! But she still can wreak havoc.)

[captainpikeachu]

am i still emotionally compromised by the latest episode? yes, yes i am

but the next week promo analysis must go on, we must still be brave, be bold, and be courageous, just as our beloved Captain Pike was and still is

so onwards to the beginning of a two part finale of this amazing season 2!

the promo starts with a voiceover from Saru: “there is a battle coming...”

Sarek seems to have been meditating on the beach??? And then he opens his eyes as if he saw something? 

Or perhaps this field he’s in is the vision? Is he seeing something through Michael’s eyes?

Saru continues in his voiceover: “...the odds are not in our favor...”

Michael is looking out the window at a ship, I can only assume that this is Michael on The Enterprise looking out to The Discovery, maybe like a one last goodbye to this ship that has been her home for the last year or so, maybe this is right before they have to destroy the ship

look at this though!!!! Discovery and Enterprise together!! yessssss!!!!!!

yeah the Enterprise design is updated but it is still very recognizable

Michael’s voiceover starts here: “Captain Pike has always had faith that we’d play a part in some grand design...”

we see Pike walking through the halls as people are packing up and moving stuff, it’s clear that what Pike went through on Boreth still is weighing on him, there is a warmth that is missing that he usually always has even in tense situations

Nhan is also here, directing people on where to go, my guess is this is when everyone is moving from Discovery to Enterprise

Pike: “all of you will face your destinies with bravery and honor” - says the man who did indeed just face his own destiny with bravery and honor, again, there is an ever so subtle change in body language in Anson Mount’s acting, Pike moves with a tiredness that wasn’t there before

Pike is in his yellow uniform, so my assumption is that this is taking place on Enterprise’s bridge, not Discovery’s, though that could also be wrong

Spock in this scene I believe is still on the Discovery, right outside the window behind him is part of the Enterprise but I think this is part of that shot of Discovery and Enterprise side by side

Michael looks intense and concentrated, probably ready to kick some ass!

Georgiou is on the bridge and back in black leather, again, I can’t tell if this is Discovery’s bridge or Enterprise, but I assume this is the same scene we see of Pike talking about everyone’s destinies

I am curious to see what part Georgiou will play and if somehow her own destiny may come into play as it was hinted when she talked to Gabrielle Burnham that Gabrielle seemed sure that Georgiou would sacrifice and do good things

then we have Michael’s voiceover return: “...I wish I had his certainty...”

Michael and Tyler having more intense emotional hugging moments, I’m sure there will be all the feels, it’s always feels with these two, just killing me with the feels

Discovery and Enterprise together again!!!! god i just love how cool they look beside each other!!!!

Number One: “9 more enemy vessels have just dropped out of warp”

THERE ARE RED HANDRAILS

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE HAND RAILS

especially after i have been screaming all season about why Discovery doesn’t have hand rails given how many times Pike has yeeted himself out of his chair

now of course these red handrails are more in line with Kirk’s Enterprise bridge a decade in the future during TOS time than they do of the black handrails that was seen in The Cage which is set 3 years before Disco season 2 events, but still, a change in coloring of the handrails is the least concerning thing, one can easily assume that they just had a paint change since they were out on repairs anyways

this design is obviously more modernized to fit in line with the visuals on Discovery, but it’s very recognizable again as the Enterprise bridge, it’s just slightly bigger - it’s a bigger screen, more space on the bridge for people to move, and the screens are more fancy - but this is all still very much Enterprise, just updated to fit with modern sensibilities 

Saru: “prepare for battle!”

here we see Saru in the captain’s chair, I assume this takes place on the Discovery, which means Pike is commanding Enterprise and Saru has taken command of Discovery as the two ships work together to deal with the battle against Control

we do also catch Nhan in the corner of this shot, which is interesting that an Enterprise crew member didn’t go back to her ship and is on the Discovery

Tilly is back!! and she looks very concerned, as she should be given all the drama that’s been happening, poor thing!

Michael looks like she’s hatching some plans! uh oh!

behind Michael is an Enterprise crew member in gold uniform, so she is on the Enterprise, also the red doors behind here we last saw when she was on the Enterprise to enter Spock’s room

Enterprise firing off their weapons at someone, I assume this takes place during the battle that Enterprise and Discovery will have with Control

damn she looks sooooooo good, look at this beauty of a ship!

Pike: “it’s time...”

he is saying this to Michael who is just a bit off screen, you can see a glimpse of her hair as we come into this scene in the promo, and everyone is still on the Discovery at the moment obviously since we see Detmer and Owo behind Pike in this scene still at their stations

i believe Pike is saying “it’s time” either because it’s time to fight Control, or it’s time for him to formally leave the Discovery to return to Enterprise to command them for this battle, this could be him officially handing command back to Saru?

now this next episode is suppose to the first of a two parter season finale, and the title is “Such Sweet Sorrow”, part of that parting is such sweet sorrow phrase, but I don’t think Pike is gonna exit at this moment before the last episode, I think the parting is about the crew saying goodbye to Discovery since the whole thing is about they have to leave the ship, so this moment in the promo can be a bit of a misdirect at play to make us think a certain way

again with the way these promos are cut and how they shift things around, it’s hard to pinpoint what moments go in what sequence

now the most interesting bit of this screenshot though, is the fact that behind Pike on the view screen, we see the name Xahea, you might remember that name from the Short Treks episode Runaway when Tilly encounters Po, who was a Xahean royal princess who ran off when she was suppose to be crowned Queen - it looks like here, something is happening to the planet? or perhaps a signal appears over Xahea and thus leading the Discovery there?

the inclusion of Xahea means that this is the second time that Discovery has directly referenced one of the four Short Treks episodes - we saw them link Saru’s Short Treks story to this season, and now Tilly’s Short Treks episode looks to be coming into play - add that onto the mountains of theories about how Discovery may get sent into the future and that somehow is linked to Calypso, the only Short Treks that we may not have a link to this season is the Harry Mudd one, unless you count time crystals as linking to Mudd since the first time we saw a time crystal in Discovery was because of Mudd last season

now, the writers and cast and crew have hyped it up that the ending of this story arc is suppose to be unexpected and game-changing and answer questions that people have always asked about Discovery’s place in canon, some of it could be your typical promotional hype machine, but given how this show has a tendency to sometimes throw curveballs and be unexpected, I can believe that the writers could throw out something totally unexpected and in a way, i really do want to be surprised, though that does make the analysis a little harder LOL

we’re at the beginning of the end of the line though, hard to believe that it’s just gone by so quickly already, it feels like we’ve barely begun to be honest!

well, we still gotta boldly go, so off we are to Episode 13 and yes, parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

[cosmicbeastie]

AU where Amanda not only realizes how miserable (and unsafe!) Spock and Michael are on Vulcan, but actually does something about it. (ESPECIALLY after the bombing, which targeted Michael specifically because she was human, and also threatened Spock and Amanda herself. Like that really should have immediately been a deal breaker as to whether or not their family continued living on Vulcan.) 

She gives Sarek a choice: move as a family to a safer planet for their children and allow Spock to be as Vulcan or human as he wants to be without any judgement from him (”Our son has had enough of that from everyone else in his life regardless of how much he’s tried to be only Vulcan, so he doesn’t need it from his father too.”) or she goes alone and takes Spock and Michael with her.

Sarek refuses to leave Vulcan, even when Amanda offers to live as close as possible so he can still act as ambassador, and he essentially tries to call her bluff. Amanda doesn’t budge, goes through with her decision even when Sarek demands that they stay, and leaves the planet with the kids.

In the end, Amanda effectively divorces Sarek and takes Spock and Michael to live on Earth, and they are happy. Michael, although obviously mourning the loss of her parents, is happy to be back on her home planet with her new family. She helps Spock as he adjusts to life on Earth (such as learning how to interact with a majority-human population as well as things like not being terrified of the ocean after living on a desert planet his whole life up to that point). 

Although Spock still sometimes gets teased for his Vulcan personality and qualities (because you bet Terran culture also still has some issues about not fully respecting non-human ways) he has an abundance of friends and allies to make up for it, something he’d never had on Vulcan. He’s encouraged to express both his Vulcan and human qualities and gets to grow up happy and emotionally healthy. 

He and Michael have a great relationship and only fight over normal sibling things like who gets to ride in the front seat of the shuttle craft or who the cat loves more. (“Michael, Lewis is non-sentient, and therefore it is illogical to believe he consciously favors one of us over the other.” “Sounds like something Lewis’s least favorite would say.”)

And not to completely stomp on Sarek, but I also like the idea of Spock eventually adopting Amanda’s last name. It’s more common for people who live on Earth full time to have a last name, and S'chn T'gai is hard for most humans to pronounce, so he starts using Grayson. Maybe Michael also agrees to take the name when asked if she’d like to, so she feels like she’s even more a part of Amanda and Spock’s family. She still keeps Burnham, too, though.

When they grow up, Spock Grayson and Michael Burnham-Grayson still go on to join Starfleet, but as much healthier, happier people. Amanda continues teaching, and her children schedule their shore leave so they can all be together at the same time.

Sarek dies of influenza.

[suburbantimewaster]

Most Hated Characters

This is a list of characters I hate because they’re poorly written, not because they’re written to be hated.  So Joffrey from Game of Thrones is safe.

Ross Gellar (Friends): Where to begin with this guy.  He obsessed over a girl since high school and, when he gets together with her, acts like a possessive douchebag to the point that he doesn’t like Rachel going to a work lecture with a colleague.  Then complains about her actually having a life outside of him when she gets a career in fashion.  Even though, earlier, he didn’t like that Rachel was just a waitress.  Not to mention his misogyny, where he refuses to hire a male nanny who was qualified in every aspect expect for being a man.  Then makes a huge deal about Ben playing with a Barbie doll.  Not to mention that he whines and whines about every small thing that goes wrong in his life, even though a lot of them are his own fault.  People who complain about the live-action Jafar being too whiny seriously need to take a look at Ross Gellar, the king of whine.

Dawn Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): While I absolutely love this show, and Buffy Summers is my hero, there is one thing I would desperately change about this show and that is Dawn Summers.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved her whole key arc in season 5 but, in season 6, I just wanted to strangle her.  She complains constantly about how Buffy doesn’t spend enough time with her because she has to work at a crappy job to support her.  Which, if Dawn hadn’t purposely flunked her classes, Buffy wouldn’t have had to quit college and get anyway.  Dawn regularly does stupid stuff, such as accidentally inviting a vampire in the house, and we’re supposed to side with her because “she’s just a kid.”  Other than being the Key, this girl contributes nothing to the show.  They should have just killed her off in season 5 instead of introducing that stupid plot hole just to keep her.

Every Single Character in the Big Bang Theory: That’s right, I hate them all.  Sheldon for being a whiny spoiled brat, Leonard for being an entitled “nice guy,” Howard for being a perverted manchild (the latter staying even when he married Bernadette), Raj for being a whiny douchebag, Penny for acting like an entitled alpha bitch who mocks the guys’ interests even though they’re scientists and she’s a waitress, Bernadette for being an evil bitch to the point of making Howard give up his Tardis (I’m never forgiving her for that), and Amy for being every bit as evil and manipulative as Sheldon, even though she’s supposed to be the one that suffers.  That’s right, everyone in this show has done something that makes me want to throw my shoe at the TV and my mom and I continued watching it just for the sake of completing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I watch many sitcoms where the characters are insufferable douchebags, such as Seinfeld, but the difference is that the writers embraced the douchebags and rolled with it.  Not try to make us sympathize and say that they’re good people deep down, which they’re not.

Ahmed (Thief of Baghdad): Okay, I did like his storyline in the beginning about how he learned not to trust his Grand Vizier Jaffar (the one Jafar was based off of) and how he went out into the world but, after that, everything interesting about him goes out the window.  Throughout the movie, all he does is whine about his nameless princess and how he can’t live without this girl he knew for all of five minutes and who he met by breaking into her garden.  The first time I watched the movie, my thoughts were “My God, shut up about your stupid princess already.”  Is it any wonder that, when the movie was out, so many women wrote to Conrad Veidt saying that they would’ve chosen Jaffar over Ahmed any day?

Jack and Kate (Lost): That’s right, I gave Jack and Kate an equal spot.  I’ll admit, Jack got cool at the end when he was all about the island but it doesn’t make up for seasons of bad writing we had to sit through about how everything on the island doesn’t make sense.  Jack, you live on an island with a giant smoke monster and you saw your father’s ghost.  The laws of reality are being severely challenged for you.  Also, you had no proof that not pushing the button wasn’t going to blow up the island and you were willing to risk everyone on said island just to prove that you were right.  Not to mention all the pointless flashbacks I had to endure starring you, such as that stupid flashback about the tattoos.  It couldn’t have been something he did in medical school when he was drunk, it has to have some super special significance.  Kate, on the other hand, started out cool but quickly became disappointing.  You had a hardcore criminal on the show and her major plot was her stupid love triangle between Jack and Sawyer.  Her reason for killing her stepfather (actually her real father) wasn’t because he was abusing her but because he was part of her.  Seriously, what the fuck?  She forces herself into the final climax by shooting the smoke monster, even though she had no personal conflict with him, and she wanted to get off the island, despite being a wanted criminal.  I know some people have to want to leave the island, but you have to give them a legitimate reason.  Wouldn’t it be more interesting if Jack wanted to leave and Kate wanted to stay, giving them a conflict that didn’t have to do with the love triangle?

Wesley Crusher (Star Trek: The Next Generation): The very character who started the trope Creator’s Pet, which used to be called The Wesley.  He was the irritating boy genius that was smarter than everyone, even the super smart robot.  Wesley played around in Engineering on duty, seeing how he could boost the sensors.  When Data asked how I was asking why.  He’s forced into the plot just to prove how smart he is, one time being given command of an entire project filled with older and far more experienced officers.  He’s the only one who figured out that Data was Lore, even though it was super obvious to the point that a 5 year old could’ve figured it out, but everyone else was taking their stupid pills so that Wesley can look smart by comparison.  Even Will Wheaton himself admitted to hating the character of Wesley Crusher.  This is how NOT to write a boy genius while Peter Parker from the MCU is a great example of how to do Wesley Crusher right.

Neelix (Star Trek: Voyager): Words cannot describe how much I hate this stupid alien.  He was supposed to be the breakout character of Voyager, a combination of Odo and Quark, and he came off more like Michael Scott on a starship.  When he wasn’t incessantly bugging Tuvok, who made it very clear that he wants to be left alone, he was making adjustments to recipes no one asked him to make adjustments to.  Neelix also forces himself into situations where he’s not wanted or needed, such as insisting that he be part of the security team.  Not to mention his possessive jealousy over Kes makes Ross Geller look like a supportive boyfriend.

Connor (Angel): Meet the son of Angel and Darla that nobody wanted.  He’s an unlikable bigot who tried to kill Angel and, even though he was misled, wouldn’t even consider that he was wrong.  Then there was that whole Jasmine arc where he knew all along that Jasmine was evil, but went along with it anyway.  At no point does he try to help Fred, who’s been there for him and cared for him, and he screws over not only the Angel crew, but everyone on Earth because he went along with a lie.  Supposedly it was because it was “the best lie he’s ever heard,” but if that’s supposed to make me feel sympathy for him, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  He got less annoying once Angel rewrote his memory.

Lana Lang (Smallville): I have saved the best, or worst, for last.  Meet Lana Lang, Clark’s love interest who’s so amazing and strong, even though we never see evidence of either of that.  All she does is get captured, have various stalkers declare their undying love for her, mope about her dead parents, who died before she could even remember them and was raised by a loving aunt and makes Clark mope about how he can’t be with her.  She’s supposedly running the Talon (the coffee shop), even though she’s in high school and has no business training whatsoever.  So many men declared their undying love for Lana Lang, it was ridiculous.  This small town nobody had more stalkers than Lex Luthor, and he was the heir of a wealthy entrepreneur.  Later on, she gets tougher by learning martial arts in the span of one day and ends the show by getting navy seal training.  Then we have to have this whole sad scene about how she and Clark can’t be together because she sucked up kryptonite inside of her.  Though, when they were together, she wasn’t really a great girlfriend considering that, when Bizarro replaced Clark, she had to be told by Chloe that her boyfriend’s an imposter.  When Lana leaves the show for good, you’d think we’d get a break from it but no, we have to hear over and over about how amazing Lana is and how no one can ever dream of matching up to her perfection.  Every time people talk about what an unbelievable Mary Sue Michael Burnham from Star Trek: Discovery is, I want to show them Lana Lang.

[thewonderladie]

Hmm. Well. Okay. Discovery spoilers!

Culber is back in white, bitches! Like, he was legit doctoring!

Michael needs to calm down but like I get it. I appreciate Spock's commitment to his aesthetic.

Fucking Control killed Leland! I liked Leland. That looked painful. I don't like Control.

Dr. Burnham is a very interesting character. You can see where Michael gets all of IT from!

Okay flashback. Black scientists! Happy black family! Baby Burnham!

950 years?! I really hope this ties into Calypso somehow! She must have been so lonely...

Spock and Michael are bonding!

Not a lot of Saru and Tilly lately.

Ash is having ALL kinds of second thoughts. Neither he nor Georgiou suspect Control-Leland, though. Georgiou is wily and very observant.

Dr. Burnham doesn't wanna see her only child. Yikes. But like I get it but yikes. Michael wasn't having it but everyone told her to calm the fuck down. Baby girl can't catch a break and I'm exhausted. Season three better be about her just chilling...

I love how unimpressed Dr. Burnham is with Pike. She all but tells him that shit ain't looking good for him but pivots to the bigger picture. If she didn't send the signals does that mean Control did? Was all this an elaborate setup so Control could get to this exact moment? Time shenanigans...

(Where's Admiral Cornwall?! Kinda felt like she should have definitely been in on all of this...)

Michael finally speaks with her mother and it's heartbreaking. Dr. Burnham all but tells her that she let her go years ago. Like that was A Monologue, am I right? Whew!

Georgiou and Dr. Burnham had an equally impressive scene, Mother-to-Mother. It was this scene that clued Georgiou into Control-Leland. Her immediately contacting Ash made me happy.

As soon as Ash went looking for Control-Leland, I was worried. And then he gets stabbed and I'm like NOPE. MICHAEL DOESN'T NEED THIS ON TOP OF MOTHER DRAMA.

Even though they came up with that plan, I knew how it was going to end.

So yeah, Control-Leland is ready to legit kill Dr. Burnham and get all the data. Georgiou tries but it is way too powerful. Like, bullets or blasts have no effect on this motherfucker. This is some Terminator shit!

Ash managed to get away and told Discovery about Control-Leland, so that happened. Dr. Burnham and the suit went away. Spock is really sticking with the beard (kinda missed him in that space outfit). Michael is once again in an emotional state.

I know I'm missing things. A lot happened in this episode. I liked it! Mama Georgiou coming thru! Dr. Burnham also coming thru! All these powerful women!

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘Brother’ Review

"Space: The Final Frontier. Above us, around us, within us. We have always looked to the stars to discover who we are."

By nature I love brevity: Star Trek: Discovery takes a long, clean breath of fresh air in this big, bold premiere that sheds the burdens of Season One and lets them roll down the hill behind.

Star Trek: Enterprise was canceled in 2005. And in the Fall of that year, as shows premiered, fans were faced with a sad reality: for the first time in 28 years, a new season of Star Trek was not among them. And for 12 years, this continued. And then we Discovered a new frontier. Breaking the silence of more than a decade, Star Trek: Discovery was a sign that Trek was not dead.

But of course, it was not without its flaws. Discovery Season One had issues with its tone and its dialogue. The crew, above and beyond their stilted, grandiose speech, rarely seemed like a family, or even a group of people who like each other. And the levels of anxiety and brooding were at dangerously high levels. We're talking Superman from Batman v. Superman levels of anxiety and brooding.

The fans pointed out these issues, though the good parts still remained (excepting the 'fans' who actively went out of their way to be openly hostile towards the series, its creators, and its viewers). And the team behind Discovery listened. 'Brother' benefits from a light and relaxed tone that feels like the lifting of a heavy curtain. The crew speaks in a generally human and natural manner, and they work together like a tight family. Brooding is nowhere to be seen, and the anxiety present is of a different sort than the cloud of deep worry that permeated Season One. Instead the viewer felt more of an empathetic concern about the characters and their lives.

The first and most immediate effect of 'Brother' is, in fact, to distance the show from its past mistakes. Associating these issues with the influence of Captain Lorca makes a lot of sense from a story perspective, even if the creators' insistence that all the darker elements were only a result of him doesn't quite sit right. From the outset, Captain Pike makes it clear that he is very different from Lorca. Everything about his manner and bearing suggests a completely different man from Jason Isaacs' power-hungry warmonger. But Pike is no Kirk, either, as one might anticipate. Anson Mount gives his Pike a humility and a grounded feel that Kirk never quite developed.

The other proverbial elephant on the starship is the presence of Spock. Though the adult version of our beloved half-Vulcan does not appear, his importance in the events of 'Brother' and the impact the mere allusion to the character has on the series is clear. We learn that he and Burnham's strained relationship is the result of her decisions, not his. It's clear she views him and his legacy as an oppressive force in her life, perhaps as a standard she could never live up to? There's a great shot that really sums this up, when young Spock makes his holo-dragon. The dragon moves toward Burnham, and roars at her, and Spock walks in through its mouth. I think that's how she sees Spock.

Sarek and Burnham's conversation about reverence also factors in. This show has decided to include a character that most fans undoubtedly have a lot of reverence for. But to make him a useful character, with an arc and a purpose, reverence is not enough. The massive weight of Spock's impact on Star Trek and the fans' adoration of him will be a problem that Discovery will have to deal with.

Moving to our regular cast, I loved how they were dealt with here. The other side of Lorca's effect on the Disco crew is that such a major and personal adversary has brought them together and made them rely on each other. All of the returning cast felt like a family around each other, and their interactions made the ship feel like a real workplace run by a real team. This is a major improvement from last season.

It looks like Burnham's journey this season will be thoroughly intertwined with Spock's. I look forward to seeing her relationship with him and how it develops, but I do hope they give her a role to play apart from and outside of the shadow of her foster brother. Likewise, Stamets seems overshadowed by the impact of someone else. Everything around him reminds him of his lost love Dr. Culber, and he's having a very hard time dealing with it. It seems like the end of this episode was enough to get him at least a little bit excited about science again, though it's unlikely that this is the end of his plotline about leaving the ship. With Wilson Cruz brought on as a full cast member for this season, it'll be interesting to see where this goes.

Tilly and Saru don't seem to have much in the way of an arc yet, but I'm sure this will change. I expect most of Tilly's story this season will have something to do with her enrollment in the Command Training Program. Saru mentioned his sister Siranna, from the Short Trek 'The Brightest Star,' and the showrunners have stated that we may see other Kelpians this season, so expect to see a visit to Saru's home planet of Kaminar sometime in the future. Maybe siblings will continue to be a theme this season.

Overall, 'Brother' was a pretty epic way to kick off the new season. It's fun and engaging, with a lot of potential. I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Strange New Worlds:

This section will record the planets the Disco visits and the places they go. Not a whole lot of that in this particular episode.

New Life and New Civilizations:

Here I'll keep track of all the new species, ideas, and cultures the crew encounters. Again, nothing in the way of that here.

Pensees (Thoughts):

-Mia Kirshner (Amanda) looks a lot like Amy Adams. She also really resembles Amanda from TOS, so that's nice.

-Stamets has a botanist friend aboard the Enterprise.

-In keeping with the Trek tradition of altering the intro, we have some brand new graphics added to the opening theme.

-Regulation 19, Section C allows a higher-ranking officer to take command of a starship in one of three contingencies: 1. An imminent threat; 2. The lives of Federation citizens are in danger; 3. There is no more qualified officer available to deal with the situation.

-I love Doug Jones' Saru walk. It's just so much fun to watch.

-That's the first shot we've gotten of a turbo lift running through a starship in all of Trek, if memory serves. Pretty cool, too.

-Another Alice in Wonderland nod. Also, holo-candles.

-Sarek mentioned that he's reached out to Klingon High Chancellor L'Rell (Mary Chieffo), and she had no explanation for the red bursts either.

-The Captain goes on the away mission, in true Trek tradition.

-There was a bit of Spock's Jellyfish ship from Star Trek (2009) in the design of the pods they flew.

-How cool was the pod sequence? Also, it was admittedly rather satisfying to see Olson Connelly get his comeuppance when he failed to pull his chute crashed and died because of the dumb risk he took.

-One of the ads loaded at the wrong time when I watched this the first time. The long ad break split a shot in half.

-I liked Reno (Tig Notaro). The idea of using an engineering approach to medicine is interesting, although I wouldn't want to be one of the first patients it was tried on.

-The Red Angel is still very much an unknown. I partially expect it will have something to do with the Klingons, if not only because they seem from the trailers to have a big role to play.

-The asteroid material wouldn't beam up. That's intriguing. It may be the key to fixing the spore drive, too, as it looks from the trailer that we'll be jumping again this season.

-'Not every cage is a prison, nor every loss eternal.' That's very interesting, and it has a lot of significance for Pike.

-It makes sense that the crew of the Enterprise would have issues with sitting out the war while on their five-year mission.

-The Disco's new Doctor is named Dr. Pollard.

-One of the names in the credits was 'Matt Decker.'

-A lot of references to faith/religion and related subjects in this episode. I don't think it's necessarily significant, but I thought it was worth noting.

-Alex Kurtzman directed this episode. I thought he did a great job; maybe he should stick to that instead of the whole coming up with ideas thing. I'm still baffled by the seriously weird and unsettling bits about Klingon anatomy from Season One.

Quotes:

Amanda: "I bless you, Michael... all my life."

Pike: "Do not covet thy neighbor's starship, Commander."

Pike: "Why didn't we think of that, Connelly? Think of all the syllables that gave their lives."

Pike: "Sometimes it's wise to keep your expectations low, Commander. That way we're never disappointed." Advice to the audience, perhaps?

Tilly: "I put her in a Utility closet, and I put you in there. I'm drunk on power."

Stamets: "Tilly, you are... incandescent. You're going to become a magnificent Captain because you do everything out of love. But I need you to repeat after me. I will say..." Tilly: "I will say..." Stamets: "Fewer things." Tilly: "Fewer thi- okay."

Sarek: "Spock has great reverence for his mother, but reverence tends to-" Burnham: "Fill up the room." It's the shot of Burnham's fairly empty quarters just as she interrupts that sells this one.

Pike: "Detmer - fly... good."

Pike: "I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?"

Pike: "Spock asked the most amazing questions. It's completely logical, yet somehow able to make everyone see that logic was the beginning of the picture and not the end."

Burnham: "There are so many things I wish I'd said to you; so many things I want to say now. I'm too late, aren't I? I can only pray I don't lose you again... brother."

A strong, solid premiere. 5 out of 6 damn red things.

CoramDeo is interested in things.

[sports-and-fandoms]

*SPOILERS* Star Trek Discovery (s2, ep2): New Eden*SPOILERS*

Hello folks! What did I tell ya last week? I did say I was gonna be back! And I am. Now let’s get on with why we’re all here, the review! 

P.S. I actually took notes, lol Hope this will be coherent...

Disclaimer: Um, Spoilers up ahead. Read at your own risk. Some language too...

Ok let’s start from the beginning.

- The Recap: HUGH. That’s all I’m gonna say. Hugh FREAKING Culber! That recap hit me hard in the feels. I can’t be the only one. That was some tough shit. I can’t. 

- Spock’s overdramatic ass and his visions. I love that. He is such a Drama Queen™. (BTW, sorry this has nothing to do with the review, but I never knew how to do the ™ symbol before. I have come a long way... So proud of myself *shoulder pats self* *wipes one lonely proud tear*) I love Spock, very much. So the fact that he has been in a PSYCH WARD for God knows how long is kinda disturbing. Like, what is going on? Also, can I just say, as much as I respect his privacy, he should have told his parents that his nightmares were back and that he wanted to admit himself in a psych ward. Now, many of you are probably like “but why? he wants to keep it to himself” Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that the man was on a 5 year mission, hadn’t talked to his family in YEARS and that, ya know, a huge part of the known universe was at WAR with 12 tribes of Klingons. If that was my son (thank god he isn’t coz I can’t handle that teen angst/emo mood. Sorry, Amanda.) I would wanna know if he was ok. Sure, he was on a mission on the other side of the galaxy, but that doesn’t mean that he was safe. Does anyone else agree with me here? Just me? Cool. 

- Now, before I talk about this next topic, beware, I have a new obsession. I must have a thing for captains. First it was Lorca, now it’s all Pike. I don’t even know what happened. I blame his pretty face, sexy attitude, voice, eyes, and that oh, so perfectly fitting uniform. His ass looks fiiiiiiine, don’t lie. 

I love how cocky he is. He’s cocky, but he knows what he’s doing and he cares for his crew. All this makes me love him a lot more! 

Anywaaaaaay... 

Onto serious matters, Christopher Pike. So, I love the little tidbit about his background. You can see that, although he mentions his childhood being difficult due to his father’s completely opposite topics of teaching at work (I mean talk about a science (aka knowledge) vs religion conundrum), you can see that he’s learned a lot. It’s all very humbling. It also affects his judgement when he’s in New Eden. Not in a bad way, ok maybe, idk. I don’t know what I would have done. He was following protocol, is all I can say. It’s a very tough decision to make. To tell an entire planet (ok, 11 000 people, but still) that what they’ve believed for years is not true and that Earth is actually still around. It’s hard. I appreciate him telling Jacob, tho. Like, the relief on that poor man’s face, it was everything. A few things he said that I really liked: “highway of mushrooms” (I might’ve snorted a little) and “Be bold, be brave, be courageous” (told you I was taking notes). Also, HE QUOTED SHAKESPEARE. LOVE IT!!! Oh my, when he got shot. Damn, I screamed a little... (I though I had more notes on him, but I literally wrote “Pike’s face”, “That ass, tho” and “I love Pike” so, let’s end it here... )

- Tilly, our gorgeous Queen™ (I will never stop using it). Girl keeps saving everyone’s asses over and over again. She’s perfect. The hero I never knew I wanted, but that I desperately needed. Love her. I love how she was willing to put her safety to risk to help Paul. I love her. She is so soft™ (what did I say?). She is so smart. I’m actually kinda worried about her. This whole hallucination thing is kinda scary. She better be ok, tho. 

- Paul said that he saw Hugh in the Mycelial Network (as we remember). He says, and I quote, “Nothing is truly gone. Life is eternal”. Y’all know what that means. Hugh and Lorca are probably (hopefully) gonna be back. 

I really missed seeing the Discovery jump. It was great! 

- Saru “You never forget your first”. Can we just- You know what, never mind. Not gonna comment. I love him. And there’s also “I put a lot of responsibility on these slender shoulders”. I love it. His lines are perfect. He’s such a great Captain. 

- Michael and Chris’ interactions are GOLD. “Don’t make me laugh.” “I was raised on Vulcan, we don’t do funny.” *makes him laugh*

Next week’s episode: 

- Sarek’s ship.

-Spock might be back. Maybe?? idk... 

-Klingons and Ash. That’ll be fun. I missed Ash. Can’t wait to see our favourite couple’s reunion. 

Final Thoughts:

Ok, I’m not dying. This sounds kinda ominous, but don’t worry, I'll be back next week lol

Anyway, It was really great. I loved the bond of the crew with each other. Love Michael. Love Tilly. LOVE Pike. I really love everyone. I’m glad that they used another crew member, Lt. Owosekun, to build on to her character. I wanna see more of that. I like Pike and Burnham’s friendship/bond. I think this was a solid episode. I wanna see more of the other characters and I wanna know more about Pike. I know that it won’t happen right away (I hope it doesn’t coz then it’ll be boring) so I can’t wait to see and learn more about him. 

If any of you want to discuss this episode, send me a message! I would love to talk more about this!

Until next week, folks! 

[fanfics-await-you]

Sometimes It Comes Down to a Choice (Part 2)

Pairing: Christopher Pike x Female OC

Takes place some point in the future after the events of the Red Angel

Summary: Alina has always carried a secret flame for her Captain and she's always known that it could never lead anywhere. However, the combination of a party and some drunken words might just make that a little more complicated. The only problem, everything just seems to be going wrong. Who knows, maybe a proper goodbye is just what they need.

Tags: angst, injury, a pair of dumbasses unnecessarily complicating things

Notes: lol, because i’m such a cliche, this situation is loosely based on an interaction w an ex. also, sorry if they seem like coherent drunks but i thought this was better then just them just smashed and the ensuing “WELL YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD LOOKING, YOU KNO- *barf*” Let’s just take the angle of liquid bravery. also, i say pike smiles a lot because he DOES. he’s very SMILEY.

Word Count: 1,277

masterlist

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

———

Why do I always put myself in these situations?!

I had told myself at the beginning of the night that 1) don’t get drunk because alcohol makes you talkative and 2) stay away from the Captain because alcohol makes you talkative. I have already failed on all points. We just keep drifting together no matter what I do, and the combination of over-keen pourers and nerves in general means that I am far more intoxicated than I planned.

“Look, I’m telling you Michael, it was life or death.”

“I would believe you, sir, but I have found that you are prone to exaggeration.”

“That stings, Burnham, it really does.”

On the other hand, Chris has never looked so good. A broad, warm smile rests comfortably on his face and only the touch of red across his cheeks hints that he’s been drinking. His eyes shine as he and Michael continue their back and forth. I’m not really listening to their conversation despite its volume. I am just happy to watch my people laugh and my Captain relax.

“Alina, back me up here!”

I’m forcefully jolted back into focus by all eyes in the conversation turning to me. I grin somewhat bashfully and mumble out a ‘yeah, sure’, entirely unaware of what I’m agreeing to. Everyone laughs at my confusion except for Chris, who gives me a quiet smile that is meant for only me.

“Now Captain, that is unfair. Of course Osborne would agree with you,” Michael’s tone is gently mocking.

I raise an eyebrow at her, trying to fight the blush rising up my face. She raises her hands in mock surrender but the smile doesn’t disappear. I down the rest of my drink, though it’s not lost on me that it does nothing to remove Michael’s gaze.

“Uh…Of course, I should be able to rely on my officers to support me!” Chris’ tone is joking but the red on his cheeks deepens markedly.

Huh.

The conversation eventually falls back into rhythms but I feel a touch at my shoulder after a few minutes.

“Osborne, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure Burnham.”

We step away from the group and I turn to face her. I know she’s been drinking but her usual friendly but stoic facade remains in place. I cross my arms, waiting for Michael to speak.

“What is going on between you two?”

Ah, the question I really don’t want to deal with right now.

“Nothing!”

…

“Seriously, Michael, there’s nothing!”

“Okay, we both know that that is not true. You two need to get over whatever this-“ she pauses to gesture between Chris and myself-“ is because the rest of us are just waiting for this to finally be done with. Seriously, you have been running in circles around each other for months!”

The realisation that my little ‘crush’ has been public knowledge for so long completely throws me. I feel so thoroughly exposed that I can’t think for a second. I know that I’m blushing red and hot, and Burnham places a hand on my shoulder.

“I never said it was something to be ashamed of, Alina. Love is nothing to fea-“

“Thanks, Michael, I think I just need a minute.”

I’m probably being rude but honestly, I need to get my thoughts in order. I walk away from the bustle and the music towards the loading bay gateway. There is something I find strangely grounding about knowing that beyond the mere metres of holofield before me, an entire universe of empty space exists beyond my reach or control. I walk behind a storage container and sit slowly, leaning back against the cool metal. The static of my thoughts echoes around my head as I consider the silent stars before me.

“Are you alright?”

Of course he would be the one to find me.

I look up at Chris and allow myself the quick luxury of just admiring him. His white shirt is tight across his shoulders and I can see the athletic line of his legs through his charcoal grey slacks. The light of the holofield fights with the general darkness of the bay to paint his face in gentle silver, highlighting the strong strokes of his features. Chris is dressed simple and plain but by the Heavens, he looks as close to perfect as I am capable of understanding. However, his eyes are contorted with concern.

“Yes, don’t worry. It’s just…Michael brought up…some stuff that-it’s complicated, let’s just say that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly, no.”

Chris sits down beside me, close enough that I can feel the warmth of his skin. Its heat is an unwelcome distraction to my already restless mind.

“What do you want to talk about, then?”

You stumble, “Um-I don’t know…anything?”

Chris chuckles quietly, “Burnham must’ve really thrown you if you, Alina Osborne, have nothing to say.”

I send him a mock glare that only widens his smile. I look away to the stars and try to think of something.

Oh, of course.

“What about the stars?”

It’s dumb and cliché but they’re the only things coming to mind. I don’t dare look at him, out of fear of judgement or something equally as painful.

“What about them?” his tone is curious and, as I should have expected, kind.

I throw my hand out towards space while I try and find the right words, “Everything! I mean, we’re both Starfleet, so you must’ve felt something pulling you towards the stars too, right? Didn’t you look up and wonder what was out there? Beyond the telescopes and the info-vids? Because I did…Still do. We live in a universe of possibility and mystery, and it makes me sad sometimes that I’ll never get to see it all and-I am rambling, I’m so sorry…We-we should get back.”

A blend of passion and alcohol had just made the words tumble out of me with reckless abandon, and now I’m embarrassed all over again for different reasons. I move to rise but a steady hand on my arm causes me to pause.

“Alina, there’s nowhere I would rather be right now…Stay. Please.”

I resume my seat but I am completely lost for words once again. Nowhere…a little spark of hope flickers into life at the base of my stomach, and for the first time I don’t immediately douse it. Of course, he could mean that he was sick of the crowd or simply interested in talk of stars but…

—

So we talk. We talk endlessly of stars, Starfleet, old friends, history, home, and everything in between until the growing quiet tells us that the party is drawing to a close. Chris is so deeply thoughtful and intelligent that I could speak to him for days or years, and never run out of things to say. I am so desperate to hang on to this conversation, this carved-out moment that is so distinctly our’s. He seems no more keen to leave than I am, but I can feel our time running short.

“What was that festival from your homeworld called again? Haal’i? You never did explain it.”

“Hal’ai. It’s kinda complicated to explain. Once day a year, no one uses electric lights for the whole day across the whole planet. It-“

“You’re telling me that everyone does it without fail?”

I wave my hand offhandedly, “Ok, fine. Nearly everyone. Just all the people in any form of settlement, but maybe there’s some hermits who use the occasional torch. Happy?” I raise an eyebrow while Chris grins in return.

“Yes, thank you. You know I’m a stickler for the details.”

“May I continue?

“If you would, please.”

I give him a joking side-look but turn my gaze back to the stars, “As I was saying, we turn off all the lights. The whole idea of Hal’ai is to sit in true darkness and look to the stars. It’s supposed to remind us of the true beauty of nature and our responsibility to the life around us. I always loved that concept, but also the profound feeling of Hal’ai that we’re part of something so much bigger that ourselves. It’s a feeling I’ve only ever found in one other place.”

“Where?” Chris’ word is whispered, like he’s afraid to break the reverie.

I smile wide, at no one in particular at all, “Starfleet. On board the U.S.S. Discovery. Standing by your side.”

I turn back to Chris, not caring if I seem absurd because I’m swept up in my love for my home, my vessel and, possibly most of all, him. Not that it matters, because the grin stretched across his face tells me that he knows exactly what I mean. Before I can react, before I can even close my eyes, Chris’ mouth is on mine. His lips are velvety and warm, and I can feel his hands hot against my cheeks. He tastes ever-so-slightly of liquor but I am intoxicated by the feeling of his skin flush against mine. Eventually, my brain catches up and I push back against him, trying to drown in the feeling of his mouth. I lean into Chris, my own hands beginning to travel up his chest, when he abruptly pauses and pulls away. I am left like an astronaut without air, simply grasping for oxygen and a tether.

“I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t have done that.”

What?

What?!

“I don’t understand, Chris. What did I-“

“You didn’t do anything, Alina, I just-I’m your captain, and you’re my officer!”

He’s become somewhat frantic, pushing his hair back repeatedly while looking anywhere but at me. The realisation is beginning to sink in, piece by piece. Surprisingly, something that resembles anger is what rises to the surface.

“I’m going to need a little more than that, Chris.”

He looks back at me and all I can see is the distress in his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t want this, it’s- it can’t happen! Not with our jobs, with our positions!”

I can’t find the words. After everything, Chris feels the same as me (he feels the same), but he’s letting our jobs-

“What are you talking about?!” The anger is showing now, “Our jobs?! Like a captain and an officer have never-it’s not-I don’t…Look, if you want pin this on drunken stupidity, fine, but don’t lie to me!”

Chris’ face goes slack and he leans in until our foreheads are touching and I can his breath on my lips. As much as anger still charges through my veins, I am paralysed by the touch of him. He takes a breath and then another, like he’s trying to find the strength to speak.

“Alina…” Chris says my name like I might disappear. “Never think that I don’t care about you, that I wouldn’t give you the world if I could. It’s just-I have a responsibility to my crew and I can’t let you change that. I can’t put your life above the rest of my crew. If it comes down to saving you or my crew, I can’t-“

The anger drains out of me like it was never there to begin with. A bone-deep weariness is starting to take its place.

“That’s what this is about? Some theoretical future where you have to choose me or them? Chris, please, don’t.”

“I should never have kissed you, as much as I wanted to. I thought I could control myself and then you started talking about stars and us, and…I am so sorry it came to this.” He tucks a strand behind my ear, and the little gesture almost breaks me.

I swallow back whatever is threatening to rise, “Since it seems like I don’t get a say in this-don’t, let me finish-just do one last thing for me.”

“Anything.”

“Kiss me one last time and then walk away. Prove to me that you can leave and not come back because I need you to be sure, Chris. If you go…I won’t sit around, waiting for you to come back. I can’t hold on to you, hoping that one day you’ll choose me.”

Chris pulls back and pushes his palms onto his eyes while shaking his head like he can’t believe this is happening. Every line of tension in his body screams anguish and I don’t get it because Chris is choosing this. I am desperate for him and he is pushing me away.

He places his hand on my cheek and I can’t help but lean into him. “You don’t understand…That’s the problem, Alina. I want to choose you, I will always want to choose you, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

Chris leans in slowly and I close my eyes as our lips touch. I place both hands on his chest while he threads his arms around my waist, gently pulling me flush against him. The kiss is as soft as an echo and as sweet as it is bitter. Inch by inch, my hands climb to intertwine in Chris’ hair and I can feel him shiver slightly against me. I want to remember every second of this, every short moment of Chris being completely mine. But then, too soon, far too soon, he’s pulling back slightly. His hands continue to draw flickering circles along my waist while Chris just studies my face and I wait for him to say that he’s changed his mind, that he can’t leave.

“Maybe in another life.”

Chris leans in to place a gentle, lingering kiss on my forehead, then turns around and walks away.

Just like that.

Just like that, I had held him and lost him, all in the space of a few hours. A feeling of intense loss swiftly crashes over me and I have to cover my mouth to silence the sobs. I lean back and just let the tears fall for a while, let my heart feel this loss. Then, when I finally find the strength, I slowly rise and stand, staring out the stars. Then, as alone as I had started this evening, I steadily walk back to my room.

———

i’m always a slut for unnecessary tension. also, DON’T WORRY, THERE’S ANOTHER PART

[fandumbstuff]

Favourite Films from 2018

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Directed by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman  

If this movie had absolutely no story, it would still be worth the price of admission. It's an astounding achievement in animation that brings to life a moving piece of pop art. It does have a story, however, and a particularly affective one. Into the Spider-Verse is a deep dive into the mythology of Spider-Man, taking over 60 years of storytelling and condensing it into a few concentrated attributes. It then introduces us to the variety of characters who share these attributes, and convinces us to care about them. It rises above most superhero films and tells a story that seems simultaneously sensational and incredibly personal. It does not overwhelm us with spectacle, but rather takes the time to offer quiet moments of emotional resonance. And then wows us with the spectacle.

2. If Beale Street Could Talk

Directed by Barry Jenkins

Films should be able to make you feel something. And it is every directors goal to convey an emotion through their visual conception. Barry Jenkins does this better than most of his contemporaries. Much like Moonlight, Beale Street is a film that warms your soul with overwhelming intimacy and sentiment. The beauty in James Laxton’s cinematography- soft lighting in close-ups and graceful camera waltzes through long shots convey a sense of dreamlike wonder. There are darker moments in the film as well, and Jenkins allows us to feel ever moment of injustice, desperation and despair in them. If Beale Street Could Talk is not just a love story, but a story of the most resilient kind of love. 

3. Sorry to Bother You

Directed by Boots Riley

In terms of sheer originality this is the best film of the year. In his directorial debut, Boots Riley tells us a science fiction story that is funny, dark and deeply thought-provoking, in a way that most of Black Mirror dreams it was. Lakeith Stanfield leads with a stellar performance, presenting a frazzled sort of energy that is enough to make you laugh and/or feel pretty unsettled. He’s accompanied by Tessa Thompson’s effortless charm, and Armie Hammer’s effortless dickishness. Add to that some particularly clever voice-over performances and its already a standout film. But it’s the attention to detail from the production design, the make-up, hair, costuming, and music, that make this an incredibly well rounded, wholly enjoyable affair.  

4. Black Panther

Directed by Ryan Coogler

This is the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s watershed moment. The care and attention that was paid in simply assembling the best team possible to work on this film pays off incredibly. Ryan Coogler and his dream team created a singular creative vision to inspire and entertain fans new and old. Wakanda feels like a living, breathing world, far more impressive than most of its comic book portrayals. Shot and lit by Rachel Morrison, costumed by Ruth E. Carter’s impeccable hand, and pulsing to Ludwig Goransson’s iconic score. And then there are the performances. Fierce moments between Danai Gurira and Lupita Nyongo, poignant exchanges between Chadwick Boseman and John Kani. And impassioned moments between Michael B. Jordan and pretty much everyone. Killmonger is the MCU’s best villain yet, but you already know that. Jordan’s performance is one that simply needs to be appreciated over and over again, his passionate command of Coogler’s screenplay stirs your heart, and may damn well bring some tears to your eyes, as it never fails to do so for me.  

5. Roma

Directed by Alfonso Cuaron

Alfonso Cuaron wrote, directed, shot, and cut this film himself, and you can certainly believe his passion for this project shines through in all of those aspects. Roma seems like an incredibly personal film, and it’s the mark of any great filmmaker to make your audience empathetic to a personal project. Cuaron’s story is one deeply rooted in Mexican history and culture, but the themes of infidelity, chauvinism and female independence are ones that we can and should engage with. Cuaron’s cinematography is incredibly beautiful in this film. Under his own hand rather than his best pal Emmanuel Lubezki, Cuaron’s signature long takes are moments of deep emotion, allowing us as an audience to simply sit back and soak in the gravity of a scene- its beauty, sadness, and joy.    

6. BlacKkKlansmen

A Spike Lee Joint

The film is upsetting, as it absolutely should be. That being said, this is the first time in a while I’ve seen Spike Lee have fun with a project. Ron Stallworth’s story is an incredible one, but it’s not without its moments of absurd levity. John David Washington and Adam Driver have incredible chemistry together, and they play off of each other as humorously as most buddy copy films. BlacKkKlansmen is a true story though, and ultimately an incredibly important one. How does one man fight racism in its most violent form, and do so with impeccable courage. Stallworth is one of history’s true heroes, but Spike Lee makes sure that we understand why this story is still relevant today, and why it is our responsibility to fight injustice with the same courage that Stallworth did.  

7. Eighth Grade

Directed by Bo Burnham

Its understandable that the most accurate depiction of social media on screen yet comes from someone with a prolific background in social media like Bo Burnham. This is just one detail out of many that he gets so right in his film. He chooses to tell the story of a lead character that would traditionally get no attention in the field of coming-of-age movies. Watching Kayla win an award for “most quiet student” sums up how real and relatable her character is. Elsie Fisher’s performance sells this, and winds up being one of the strongest of the year. With Eighth Grade, Burnham has shown how incredibly in touch he is, and it’s a quality sorely lacking in most standard Hollywood fare.  

8. Isle of Dogs

Directed by Wes Anderson

Obviously charming, as with any Wes Anderson film. Obviously cute, as with anything involving dogs. Throughout his filmography, Anderson has always managed to find the charm in adolescence, whether having children as lead or supporting characters, or telling a story that is young at heart. In Isle of Dogs, his story touches on that same charm. A child’s love for his dog is the main plot point, and his journey is one that touches on our intrinsic reminiscence of childhood adventure. All of this is accompanied by Alexandre Desplat's delightfully memorable score, which is worth listening to all on its own.

9. The Favourite

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

In comparison to Yorgos Lanthimos' other popular film The Lobster, it’s clear he's established a distinct voice in absurd humour. The Favourite is just as absurd, but far more darker. There are moments that are outright hilarious, but they are accompanied by moments of tragic sadness. Watching Olivia Colman's Queen Anne transition from cheerful to melancholic is heartbreaking. Supported by strong performances from Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone, and accompanied by assuredly strong production design and cinematography, The Favourite rounds out as one of the years finest films.  

10. The Death of Stalin

Directed by Armando Ianucci

Armando Ianucci has never told a darker story than this one. As with most of his work, The Death of Stalin is uproariously funny. His knack for showing the silliest sides of politicians is at its best here, and the political climate that he deals with is the perfect vehicle for it. We watch these characters scramble for power, and watch them commit horrible atrocities in the process. A lot of it is funny in the darkest of fashions. But by the time we get to the end, we understand just how disturbing the story has been and are left to contemplate how humanity can slip so far into horror, and hope we can learn from it.  

Honorable Mentions

Shoplifters (Directed by Haruomi Hasuno), Paddington 2 (Directed by Paul King), Christopher Robin (Directed by Marc Foster), Halloween (Directed by David Gordon Green), Incredibles 2 (Directed by Brad Bird), Crazy Rich Asians (Directed by John M. Chu), Avengers: Infinity War (Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo), First Man (Directed by Damien Chazelle), A Quiet Place (Directed by John Krasinski) Tag (Directed by Jeff Tomsic)

[yesmoviese-blog]

The 25 Best Movies On Amazon Prime Right Now

In the world of streaming subscription services, there's what's become known as the "big three." Netflix is still the biggest kahuna in the game, but Hulu and Amazon Prime are hot on its heels. Each service offers its own large selection of movies, with thousands of titles of various calibers included. Currently, Amazon Prime actually boasts the largest movie library of the three, but it could be argued that quantity isn't nearly as important as quality.

25 of the very best movie titles offered on Amazon Prime can be found below, featuring a mix of blockbuster hits, award-winning critical darlings, hilarious comedies, bone-chilling horror movies, and more. The list below attempts to include something for everyone, and thankfully, Amazon Prime's selection houses quite the robust grouping of worthwhile streaming choices.

Related: What Prime Original Series You Should Watch Based On Your Myers-Briggs® Type

Before the list begins proper, there are some important notes to be made. First the movies below are available to stream on Amazon Prime at the time of this writing. As movies expire, the list will be updated, and new great options will be added. Also, the 25 films below, while numbered for convenience, are not ranked. So the movie marked number one is not meant to necessarily be seen as superior to the movie at number 25.

Last updated: June 7, 2019

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Tom Hanks Philadelphia - Movies Men Cry At START NOW 25 PHILADELPHIA Tom Hanks Philadelphia - Movies Men Cry At Once upon a time, Tom Hanks wasn't yet cemented as one of the best dramatic leads in Hollywood history. Instead, he was mostly known for doing comedies, such as Splash and Big. While he'd done some dramatic work beforehand, it was 1993's Philadelphia that really proved just how good Hanks was, winning him his first Oscar. Directed by Jonathan Demme, Philadelphia stars Hanks as Andrew Beckett, a corporate lawyer and gay man who's fired by his firm after being diagnosed with AIDS. Beckett sues his former employer, and is eventually represented by Joe Miller (Denzel Washington), who initially struggles with his own homophobia. A landmark film when it comes to Hollywood's representation of the LGBTQ community, Philadelphia is a sad, but moving Amazon Prime pick.

24 HEREDITARY

Most horror films are full of obvious supernatural threats, whether they be vampires, ghosts, demons. or even the occasional sadistic leprechaun. Sometimes though, a horror effort comes along to reinforce that at the end of the day, the fear of losing a loved one is one that audiences can't escape, even after the latest scary movie stops playing. One recent example of that type is 2018's critically lauded (89% on Rotten Tomatoes) Hereditary, directed by Ari Aster, and starring Toni Collette as Annie, an emotionally scarred mom who finds her life spinning more and more out of control following the death of her own mother. Hereditary has become a bit divisive in horror circles, but it's worth watching on Amazon Prime and judging for oneself.

23 CARRIE Carrie 1976 One of the most famous authors in the world, horror master Stephen King has seen his work adapted for both the big and small screens countless times. Carrie (1976) was the very first though, which makes sense, as 1974's Carrie was King's first published novel. Sissy Spacek stars as the titular Carrie White, an outcast teenage girl who finds that the changes to her body brought on by puberty also awaken a powerful telekinetic ability, one capable of striking back at her tormentors, up to and including her religious zealot of a mother.

Related: Every Stephen King Movie Ranked, From Worst To Best

22 THE GAME Michael Douglas in The Game One of the earlier films to emerge from the endlessly creative mind of director David Fincher, 1997's The Game might not be Fincher's most awarded or money-making effort, but it's still a terrific little thriller in its own right. Michael Douglas stars as Nicholas Van Orton, a successful investment banker that's still haunted by his father's suicide. Nicholas' life gets dangerously interesting when his brother Conrad (Sean Penn) offers him an invitation to play the titular game. Nicholas agrees, but quickly wishes he hadn't, as things get crazy in short order. There's never been a better time for Amazon Prime users to discover this gem.

21 EIGHTH GRADE

The feature writing and directing debut of comedian Bo Burnham, Eighth Grade wowed many in 2018 with its very relatable, and often very frank depiction of what it's like to be transitioning into one's teenage years. Most movies and TV shows tend to depict childhood and young adulthood as this time full of nothing but fun and carefree idealism, but in reality, many people spend their youths battling social awkwardness, dealing with anxiety, and struggling to fit in. Fronted by a great lead performance from Elsie Fisher, and bolstered by one of the best speeches ever given from a parent to their child onscreen, Eighth Grade isn't always easy to sit through, but it's consistently rewarding. Another impressive offering from Amazon Prime.

20 SOME LIKE IT HOT Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot Those looking to watch a classic comedy on Amazon Prime need look no further than 1951's Some Like It Hot, directed by Hollywood icon Billy Wilder, helmer of other golden age hits like Double Indemnity and Sunset Boulevard. Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon star as two Chicago musicians forced to assume female identities to get out of town after witnessing a gangland murder. Both quickly notice the singer of their new all-female band, played by Marilyn Monroe near the height of her stardom. Some Like It Hot includes some moments that are problematic by today's standards, but those willing to view it through a historical lens will still find plenty to enjoy.

Related: 22 Best Romantic Comedies, According To Rotten Tomatoes (And 3 Stuck With 0%)

19 MAJOR LEAGUE Major League tom Berenger Charlie Sheen For about as long as America has been making movies, movies depicting baseball have been common. After all, there are few things more quintessentially American. Some of those movies are meant to provoke emotion and draw tears, but 1989's Major League goes straight for the funny bone. Centered on a fictional version of the Cleveland Indians, Major League sees an unscrupulous owner try to deliberately put together a terrible team, in order to get attendance low enough to trigger a contract clause allowing them to relocate to Miami. Thankfully, this gathering of misfits won't be defeated so easily. Major League spawned two sequels, but neither are available on Amazon Prime.

18 SHUTTER ISLAND Leonardo DiCaprio in Shutter Island Directed by Martin Scorsese and starring his modern muse Leonardo DiCaprio, 2010's Shutter Island centers on U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels, who's sent to investigate a mysterious disappearance at a mental hospital on the titular island. Unfortunately for Teddy, nothing is what it seems, and the mystery threatens to swallow him whole. The star-studded cast also includes Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, and Michelle Williams. Those looking for a thriller designed to keep them guessing should definitely stream Shutter Island on Amazon Prime.

[chacusha]

Star Trek: Legends liveblogging (1/?)

I got a three-month trial of Apple Arcade, so I'm going to give Star Trek: Legends a try. Given how I have the bad habit of getting super deep into gacha games, this is probably Famous Last Words, but here we go!

I'm not sure how I feel about using Cardassians as these disposable mook baddies, but also Michael!! Worf!! Okay nevermind, they're using everyone as disposable mook baddies -- Federation, Romulans, Klingons, Borg, etc.

I am already very confused about which characters are real and which ones are just illusions created by the Nexus or whatever. Is anyone real?? (Are we real...?)

I love the way Worf rests his bat'leth on his elbow.

OKAY SO I got Odo(!!), so he's replaced Worf as my tank. Odo is like a super tank whereas Worf is more a mix of attacker and defense. I love Odo's taunt (he just gestures for people to come at him, basically). It's somehow suiting for him to just stand there with his arms crossed while people attempt to wail on him.

It's interesting that even though I replaced Worf with Odo, Worf still appears in the story scenes. Also strange is that the "starter party" is Michael, Worf, McCoy, and Riker, but only the first three actually participate in story scenes.

In general, the different classes are pretty interesting. Medics are healers (obviously); Security is a mix of attackers and tanks; Commanders are buffers with decent attack ability; Scientists are... debuffers (I guess that makes sense -- they analyze the enemy for weakpoints); and Engineers are just doing their own thing entirely with the Tech stat.

I love Quark as the store owner. 😊

I like the replayability of story missions. I currently have like an A Team (Burnham, Odo, McCoy, Riker) which is pretty high level and has good offensive/defensive/healing capabilities for the long story campaigns. Then I have a lower-level B Team (Sela, Phlox, B'Elanna, and either Burnham, Worf, or Riker depending on what stat I need) that cleans things up after the A Team, but tends to die more. B'Elanna isn't really useful but she's currently the character with the highest Engineering stat so I almost always need her.

Speaking of Sela and strategy, she's a really interesting glass cannon character -- good for taking out small mobs of enemies, but quite bad for extended marathon battles. I've made her a bit more hardy by boosting her HP a lot but she used to be so fragile. It took me a while to realize that she exclusively uses the Tech stat, so once I realized that, I started boosting her Tech stat as well. But yeah she loses steam pretty quickly. She is apparently the top choice to use in PVP, though, because she always moves first before you can apply any Tech debuffs, so if she has sufficiently high Tech and gets lucky, she can easily one-shot a couple of characters, and there's no strategy the other person can deploy in order to mitigate the amount of damage she dishes out here.

It took me a bit to figure out Phlox, but he's like a super healer, especially if he gets Morale combos and starts regenerating people at random. I was a bit surprised regeneration lasts so long (it says regenerate for 1 turn but it lasts for 3 turns, I think??).

It's also wild that the A Team battle strategy is for Bones to drug Riker up each battle and Riker just mows enemies down. This is Real.

It also took me a while to figure out how to use Burnham (the skill that only becomes available in turn 2 confused me for the longest time). But she's basically specialized in taking down bosses. Her Stand Down reduces the damage of enemies (good for anyone with a group attack and/or is behind cover) and possibly can force one enemy to retreat, and then in turn 2, she can do a high-power attack that reduces defense (good to use against high-HP bosses).

I love this concept of shuttlecraft missions. I told my partner I'm constantly sending my low-level C Team characters on constant shuttlecraft missions and he was like, "That is so cruel!" If this were a Star Trek show, they would 100% be dead or space wedgied.

I love how Geordi and Data both look at their padd/tricorder as their idle animation during battle. They look so checked out/bored of the battle! Like, "Oh? We're in the middle of a fight? Can't it wait? I'm trying to make sense of these anomalous sensor readings!" These nerds. <3

I also love how all of Sulu's skills are fencing themed. Hell yeah!

I briefly tried to create my own alliance (it was called Quark's Acquisition with the Ferengi flag because I am Predictable). It didn't really work out but I'm glad I did it because it was fun seeing the options for naming alliances. Some of them sound so suggestive because of the "[character name]'s [x]" format -- I feel like there should be a contest for the most suggestive combo. Like, "Quark's Acquisition" totally sounds like the title of a bodice-ripper, right? (Or am I just too much of a Quarkfucker...?)

Continuing to play the story and I am still confused about who's real. Janeway wasn't real but Seven of Nine joined my party afterward i.e. was real?!

I checked out the subreddit for this game and found some truly horrifying stuff about the development status of this game. Like, there are bugs that only exist in the German language version (for some reason). Why???

I want to experiment more with some other characters who I haven't really been able to use yet because they're too low-level at the moment. I'm especially curious about Janeway's buffing and Crusher's group heal. Also, all the Science characters because I haven't really been able to figure out how to use any of them other than Burnham.