#everyone will feel observed

[notemaker]

These two should and will meet in my dreams.

[seagiri]

helmet party because i no longer feel like everyone is sick of me drawing these two art keeps getting harder each day and my brain feels fuzzy again

[mechaseraph]

It honestly flows better in jpn to my ear, but obsessed how the way he speaks sometimes gives him as son of novel writer away immediately. And well, the fact that he sure read a lot. Dramatic thing

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Working on one of the asks and just, sidenote, but I really have to laugh (again) about the whole nicknaming of “Gordon’s hill.” 

It’s already a fabulous roast if a hill on which, canonically, other engines besides Gordon require banking (even as late as 1957!!) is still named after him... and him alone.

But it’s even funnier because, sure, TVS likes to make Gordon needing help a regular thing. But. Wilbert Awdry never established that. It is canon-compliant to his work in that it’s not ruled out, but he never suggested anywhere I can see in RWS canon that Gordon ever needed a banker again. 

And then Christopher Awdry specifically says in Gordon the High-Speed Engine that Gordon stuck on this hill “once.” 

Once. 

And look, if people don’t accept C. Awdry stuff in their personal canon, no judgment. But I just need you to take a moment and acknowledge how hi-larious it is if you incorporate this fact into your belief system. 

Gordon needed a banker ONE. TIME. literally a hundred and one years ago (and, crucially, didn’t thank him. i think that detail is key in understanding how we got here) and is still payin’ for that to this day.

[nostalgia-tblr]

"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.

[sea-buns]

I understand not wanting your party members to walk into a lake and drown themselves but also Laudna has the fuckin WORST bedside manner lol. Yes, your much-needed long rest was just interrupted in a creepy abandoned town where you know weird charm-shit happened and the LAST thing you need right now is for anyone to lose focus. But also "Can you not wait? You can wait 5 minutes." talking to someone who has waited months and doesn't know if their loved one is even ALIVE and has confessed to you how much he misses them and how much it hurts and they could be outside breathing alive right now—

And on the surface, it looks like Chet is enabling a bad decision when he says "You probably heard Dorian. He's probably outside." and yeahh, okay, maybe he is a little bit. But right after that he's about to protest with something about Orym and it's like yeah. ORYM said he heard something. When has there been a time when ORYM heard something, and it wasn't real? How many times has Orym heard something and it's saved our asses? Before Chet is being hit with his own need to check out the lake, he's giving Orym the benefit of the doubt. And while he is an enabler by nature, he's keeping his voice soft rather than his usual, over-the-top "let's fuck around and find out" energy that he brings to dangerous situations like this.

You can't have everyone in the group treating a dilemma with the same amount of sympathy and care. What makes the BH so fascinating to watch is the variation in responses and different ways they interact with each other. You need a balance of someone who will take the cold, unyielding stance against something that is so obviously a trap, and someone that is aware of the risks but willing to speak up for that person and humor them when they're so clearly struggling.

I have a lot of feelings about Laudna and Chetney's instinctual responses and I think both stances are fascinating and they've both shattered my heart to pieces

[ramayantika]

Old desiblr as a locality post

A day in Desiblr gully

It's 5am and some of them are going to sleep now after having a good screentime duration while posting, "I need to stop being chronically online." Some of the artists are busy decorating their walls with their dream vacation and outfits photos and calling it a moodboard. Their houses look the prettiest because everything is set according to an aesthetic.

It's 7am now. The early risers are posting good morning messages and other teens are getting ready for catching their school vehicles while liveblogging their activities before eating one last morsel of their breakfast. A random 18 year old is getting scolded by his friend to not skip meals again or she will come with a knife. College going peeps are watching all of this silently. Some are glad that they are done with school. No more waking up at 6 and getting ready while some feel nostalgic looking at these kids doing the things they once did.

"Guys aaj meine aloo paratha banayi hai!" A girl posts a photo of makhan maar ke aloo paratha and few others immediately rush inside her house to have her delicious parathe. Someone then says, "yaar mujhe bhi aisi parathe bannani hai."

It's 12pm. The gully is a little silent now. Students preparing for competitive exams are studying. School going kids are busy with school while desperately wanting to rush home to their Desiblr gully and narrate what Mrs A said to their friend or the latest drama in their lives. Some people have saved paintings and poetry quotes to tag their friends who always stand with them and appreciate their work. They never tell them this, but they know that if they make it big in publishing something, a major credit will go to their friends for reading or appreciating their work.

And finally it's 3pm. The sun is high up in the sky. The lanes are filled with chitter chatter of school kids coming back. Some are announcing that they finally proposed their crush while some are busy debating if the said person likes them or not. Their faces are a little tired but their hearts are brimming with enthusiasm. It's good to be home. They eagerly head home and freshen themselves.

'I need to thank didi for sharing those maths tips. Only due to her, I got 97% in maths."

Here everybody eats lunch together. There are tables and mats laid in the common garden. So many dishes belonging to different cuisines prepared by everyone from different states of India is served here. There are sweets and very spicy foods. Some got local desi refreshing drinks to beat the summer while some got their delicious homemade achaar.

Do you hear someone singing? Yeah they are the singers of our neighbourhood. It's a desi mehfil. Some of them have been training in music while some join in to vibe. It's a fun activity nevertheless. The mic is open, you can join in anytime.

It's 5pm. Some of them took an afternoon nap and woke up dazed. A tent is set up. It's a cultural evening today, I think. Wait for it, we may not have the best costumes and stage arrangements but we have got some talented performers. Love lorn poets have got their poems out, the dancers are dancing on movie songs while some choose devotional pieces. Look at her, she sings so well! The crowd is singing with her too. Wait for another hour and you will see some of our amazing photographers and painters with their brilliant artistry.

Now everybody is heading to study and take cars of their other jobs. Some are cleaning their homes (blogs) and painting the walls after they saw a movie and want their house (blog theme) to match the colour scheme. Is there a warm happy feeling in your heart? There is always this feeling in the air here.

Well this small neighbourhood is pretty and chaotic. Sometimes you might feel as if you do not fit in. Everyone looks intimidating. Their are scuffles and fights too at times. But just wait for a while and give time, you will find your own circle too. Be prepared to take care of some absolute unhinged friends too for they be taking some really impulsive decisions.

I think it's 10pm now. Some are having dinner right now with their friends. There is a boy busy completing his assignments after procrastinating the whole day (he made his friends bully him to make him complete it)

Do you know we maybe young, very young but we got hearts and somewhere a little wisdom too. This is the place to be yourself the way you are. You don't need to pretend here. We cry loudly and laugh loudly too. Our friends have seen the best and worst of us yet they choose to stay with us through thick and thin.

It's midnight. Someone announced that they are leaving this place saying, "it's time to move on friends. You all made my life brighter and I am so grateful for each on you." See how every person goes and hugs them. Some have started crying but they all choose to let them go. It's only for the best, they say. 'Just remember us in your memories. We wish you all the best, friend! Goodbye! Our doors will always be open for you if you ever decide to come back.'

It's dawn once again. Someone will come up with a new poem as an aubade to wake up sleepy heads for school. O look, a group of girls are singing devotional songs. It's a beautiful start, isn't it.

This is our colourful little community. Humari Desiblr gully...

[jewish-vents]

My entire life, I've yearned for the kind of community the Jewish community and Judaism have provided me. I found out I had Jewish ancestry when I was a kid, I looked into it more later and realized my most recent Jewish ancestor (like three-ish generations back) was almost certainly forcibly converted out, and decided to convert to like. Make amends for that I guess and also because I really vibed with the holidays and how we turn up everywhere in history bc we keep doing cool stuff despite consistently shitty circumstances.

But I digress.

I have waited my WHOLE LIFE trying to experience the joy becoming Jewish has shown me, and that gets shit on constantly.

My sister has started making a truly obscene number of Jew jokes. My mom scoffs at all the 'nonsense rules' and has said repeatedly that she thinks choosing a 'restrictive' religion is dumb and I've made a mistake. She even said it's an insult to HER parenting skills that I would seek out religion after she tried to teach me to know better.

My dad is dead but I never ever in a million years would have told him even if he were alive, and my sister thinks it's funny to threaten to 'out' me as Jewish to his relatives even though they're basically KKK-adjacent so she actually enjoys threatening mg safety at this point. (Yay family right?)

My friends have turned everything into an Israel/Palestine discussion lately and I know damn well what they're doing when they start saying truly horrible shit about Israelis and looking at me. They get mad if I try to temper their extremism so I've given up. I barely talk to them anymore and I spend more and more time with other Jews from temple and I don't want to like. Isolate myself from all non-Jews I guess bc I've always felt like that leads to weirdness and perpetuates shit about Jews being unfriendly I guess idk?

Anyway I digress again. My point is I'm really sick of constantly being expected to tolerate it when people think I shouldn't be Jewish.

Other queer people think I'm somehow compromising my queer identity by being Jewish, leftists think I hunt Palestinian children for sport now apparently, right-wingers think I traffic good Christian babies for organ harvesting or some shit idfk, my friends think that if I'm not being more vitriolic in my hatred of Israel than they already are I'm some kind of secret rabid Netanyahu fan, my family think I've been recruited into a cult apparently and the only other people who show me even an ounce of compassion or regard are other Jews and Gd knows there's like ten of us and that number is unlikely to increase.

Just. Fuck. I've put blood, sweat, tears and money into this, I invested more time and emotional commitment into this than I have into going to college or choosing a career, I love it more than anything and have only loved it more the more I learned about it, and all I get when I express this or even just let slip that I am Jewish and chose to be, I get nothing but hatred. I will never understand how a religion that has spent all 5000 years of our existence minding our business and arguing about the same book over and over can possibly have offended this many people with our existence.

Dmn anon, that is a lot you're dealing with right now. I'm so sorry you're surrounded by people who clearly don't respect you. Because yes this is a lack of basic respect, and it is antisemitic. Now I don't know how old you are and how safe you are, but if you can safely do so, set very hard boundaries. Do not tolerate this amount of disrespect towards who you are. It is hard, and many of us have had to go through similar situations, as you can read all over this blog. But I think having to spend your life surrounded by people who make you feel unsafe and disrespected is worse. I know sometimes there are situations in which people cannot safely set these boundaries, I hope it's not your case, but if it is feel free to come here to vent again.

I know you don't want to isolate yourself from goyim. Many Jewish people don't want to. Sadly, when people disrespect us like this, they're the ones isolating us. It's not your fault. Seek people who love and accept you. Sadly, a good chunk of goyim won't - I'm not saying everyone, obviously, but a portion. Having a good Jewish support network seems to be more and more important, whether it's irl or online.

I hope you can soon be in an environment that's safer and more accepting

- 🐺

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[yellowistheraddest]

people on internet say use references when drawing, and im tired of being stubborn for no reason this is the end of yellow as you knew me

[honestlyvan]

(Crossposted from DW)

There’s some interesting parallels to be drawn with the way Scratch is an aspect of Alan, just like the Casey of the Dark Place is. One reflects all his darkest fears, the most self-destructive narratives he can tell about himself, and the other encapsulates the skills and virtues he needs to push himself forward, one wearing his face and another one wearing the face of someone he admires.

So you could do quite a bit with Scratch inheriting that obsession with Casey from Alan, but in a furious, bitter, jealous form where Casey is an interloper, a challenger to Scratch's ownership of Alan, coming between him and his Alan, a stranger, an intruder. Because that's what Casey is -- a tool and a shield, the impression of someone Alan trusts -- someone for Alan to cling to, someone who can disrupt Alan’s internal narrative, and he's taking Alan from Scratch.

Casey is just as much a prop to Scratch as he is to Alan, he's just there to be the hero so Alan can be the victim and Scratch the monster. And just like Scratch's love of Alan is a warped mirror image of Alan's hatred of himself, Scratch's jealousy of Casey is a mirror of Alan's suppressed desire to be a better person. To be a hero, to drive the story forward on his own terms, to have agency.

Which is how you get Scratch hissing “You're not going to get what you want” against Casey's lips, shoving him against a wall in an alleyway when Casey has once again showed up as a diversion, letting Alan run away, taking Casey away from Alan the way he took Alan from Scratch. “You think you know. You know shit. You don't really wanna know”, while bleeding venomous jealousy into the air because he is Alan and Alan is him and Alan is his and this outsider thinks he can take Alan from him. Like Alan isn't just using Casey, too, like Casey is something more than a just an empty vessel for Alan's wants when that should be Scratch, that should have been Scratch from the start.

Because Casey doesn't hate Scratch any more than he loves Alan. His role is to have compassion for the victim, to protect him, to move the plot forward for him, just like Scratch's role is to antagonise and delay and stop Alan from progressing. Scratch knows what he's dealing with. But there's more to Casey than just what he got from Alan, he is a reflection of the real Casey through the lens of Alan – and that’s the really fucking offensive part. That Alan can so scarcely accept himself that he’ll bring in this outsider, discarding Scratch, using a stranger’s face instead.

Scratch is Alan, after all. He has Alan's face and he has his voice, and he knows Alan better than Alan knows himself. “You're going to get what's coming to you”, he tells Casey, loop after loop, until he can get him out of the way for good.

[aroacettorney]

tbh i wish aup had more reps for characters who achieve greatness purely through hard work and effort. the emphasis on genius/being special is mayhaps way too much to the point that it feels kinda damn depressing for those who aint born as one.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking so so hard about LaughingStock and how that'd go down. disastrously, probably

[faejilly]

i think the fandom doesn’t capitalize on the fact that Alec is a older brother, that man probably has so much more black mail on Izzy and Jace then they do on him

#mood

Izzy and Jace have nothing they can use on Alec.

One: They didn't think they'd ever need to because they thought they knew what he'd do in most situations (say no and then begrudgingly help them anyway, and tbf to them, they're mostly not wrong pre-Magnus)

Two: He is so aggressively self-contained for survival reasons that the only 'secrets' either of them has on him are the facts that he's gay and he and his mother have a fucked up relationship and THOSE ARE NOT THINGS YOU CAN USE FOR 'friendly family blackmail'.

Three: Alec is a tactician, he is observant, he is ruthless. He knows everything Izzy and Jace have ever done and the fact that he (as far as we know) never uses any of it is amazing and a little heart-breaking because he could have manipulated and threatened the fuck out of them and made his own life so much easier and he never ever did.

[thirdtimed]

he was only ever meant to watch

[voidscreamns]

./