#except it's more depressing than spicy lets be honest

[astranite]

Edges of the Universe: Part 2

Scott and John :)

Part 1 // Ao3

The tags in summary: Hurt/Comfort, this is what it is fundamentally but we do dive into the angst and the fluff, Autistic John Tracy, Scott Tracy has ADHD, Scott Tracy Has PTSD, Autistic meltdowns, References to Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Chronic Illness, that's how i'm treating John's space issues, this is all written from a disability and neurodiversity lens and lot of my own experience, there's alot going on but there's also alot of love here, and acceptance, its about hope its always about hope ultimately, things are hard and they wont just fix themselves but it does get better, we just have to keep hanging on. all of us you and me together, its not a straight line there are alot of up and downs and emotions in this fic, as in life and everything because thats whats its like but its not impossible

@idontknowreallywhy thank you for all.

---

“You alright?” Scott asked, “And I’ve brought takeaway if you’re feeling up to it.” 

“‘S only a headache,” John mumbled.

Scott’s hand gripped his shoulder more firmly. “Seems like some headache, Johnny.”

“Don’t.” 

John couldn't handle even the gentle ribbing right now. Or Scott needling him about what the hell was wrong with him to make him admit to it, which was pretty hypocritical coming from Commander ‘I’m actively bleeding out but I’m Fine.’

John sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. That wasn't fair on Scott. He was getting better at letting them in when it was needed. All the smothering came from a good place of looking out for little brothers prone to getting themselves into trouble, and John also had a history of being less than honest about exactly how ‘Fine’ he was.

He pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of the bed as the blurry dark crowded in at the corners of his vision at the rush of his blood pressure dropping. Because he, Thunderbird Five, head of communications for IR and an astronaut breaking records for space hours and expertise, had really pushed himself today. Went totally wild with it. He had, he checked his mental notes, landed on Tracy Island yesterday evening, sat in the passenger seat of Tracy One as Scott did all the flying to get here and immediately clocked out as soon as they got to the hotel. Then attempted to attend a meeting today. Wild, he bit out in sharp, sarcastic thoughts. Maybe that ignored the busy week he’d already pushed through. Even if he usually had to rest the day after the rough descent down from orbit because that was what his body needed and that was meant to be okay.

John reached over to flick on one of the bedside lamps to make it easier on Scott. He squinted in the brightness but it was better than the main light. In the background was the rustle of biodegradable bags and the distinctive snap of takeaway containers being opened: Chinese, from the place he and Scott had really liked the last time they were here, predictable so he wouldn't have to deal with trying something new.

Objectively, the food smelled good but John’s stomach turned. He spent several amusing minutes poking at his noodles, trying to figure out whether it was merely his usual space issues or he was coming down with something.

Scott bumped his shoulder ever so gently. “I got the not too spicy ones for you in case you weren’t feeling so good.”

“Thanks, Scott.” John’s voice came tiny and squeezed out. 

He picked up a mouthful and they were okay, it was him that was at the point of so hungry he was nauseous, and Scott had realised that he hadn't had lunch or dinner and made sure to bring back food John would like. Because he was thoughtful and he cared, and John had the best big brother so why did that make him want to cry?

They ate in silence. Companionable silence. It was kinda nice actually, just sharing space with Scott.

John did not cry all over his brother and his noodles. He would’ve gotten his tablet to read on and distract himself except he’d need his glasses which were in his bag, though he could turn up the font size, except the headache made staring into a bright screen currently unpalatable, so the entire point was moot.

He tipped his head back, resting it on the wall, then turned to Scott.

Scott had scoffed his entire meal far too quickly, shovelling noodles into his mouth with his set of chopsticks, whilst scrolling on his phone. Hair falling out of its careful gelling, top buttons of his blue business shirt undone, meeting out of the way and laughing at something inane, he seemed far more relaxed than this morning. Share space with Scott was nice because he too rarely got to.

John looked away. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping an arm around them, rocking slightly before it made him too dizzy. He stared off around the room, mostly to keep himself from giving in to the urge to worry at the numb, hollow wound in his thoughts. To map out its shape and form, going over it like the hole left by a pulled tooth. To not drag himself into a John classic overthinking spiral, and attempt to ground himself or whatever. 

The room. Too much beige. Carpet, curtains, walls, really what were they thinking? 

John liked colour. He’d chosen the stripes running throughout Thunderbirds Five and his bright orange baldric with the matching narrower lines through his uniform on purpose. They broke up the monotony of whites and greys space stations were far too prone to and he soaked it up, everything from the stickers and few books in his little room to the colour coded holotabs that displayed each of his siblings’ vitals. Bright and vivid, they reminded him of alive, alive, alive. 

Here, even the abstract painting was nearly monochrome. Virgil would have a lot to say but John could only muster a vague disgust towards it. Or maybe it was mostly his mood turning to harshly critical.The place was nice enough, clean and neat, nearest to TI. They didn't need fancy. 

Hints of the darkened evening view shone through the gaps between the curtains in the form of city lights. John had watched the sunset in hours previous briefly paint the dimness of the room through slitted eyelids. 

There had been the colour he wanted, but he’d ignored it instead of opening the curtains up to the light like he usually would in lieu of visible stars. He had stared at the wall, drifting in his thoughts amongst the achy pain and exhaustion instead of choosing to do literally anything else.

And here he was overthinking, doing exactly what he wasn't supposed to be doing. Fantastic job, John.

Doors to the hallway and bathroom, both shut, John listed. Lamp on Scott’s bedside table, dark grey, not black, switched off.

The blue blanket Scott brought everywhere lay as a bright splash on top of the covers of Scott’s bed, a familiar sight no matter where they were.

They didn't have to share a room, with the large beds on each side where John took the one nearest the window under claim it would be better for the stargazing he wouldn't do because of the light pollution but would make Scott edgy from feeling too exposed and too far from the exits. His brother’s face had crumpled in relief before he’d gleefully bounced on his bed like he was totally still five, as John laughed with him. 

With their money they could easily afford two, could get the frankly a waste of money whole penthouse suite of rooms, but they didn't need to. And it was nice to be close.

He and Scott hadn't regularly shared a room since before Alan had been born, and John was fully aware that as adults it would drive them both mad within a week, but on the occasional business trip or even rarer holiday, it was nice. Waking up disorientated and jet lagged in the middle of last night, he’d fallen back to sleep to big brother’s calm, even breathing. Plus Scott could look over and reassure himself at least John was here and okay, as substitute for checking in on all his little brothers before he turned in.

…it had actually been a bit after Alan had been born that the rooms had been shuffled. When it had been Mum and Dad and baby Allie he had to sneak past to go stargaze outside for a few months until Alan was big enough and got the cot, sharing a room with Gordon. Then it was him and Virgil so Scott as the eldest, encouraged by Dad, could have his own room. 

Virgil was a lot quieter and less prone to dragging him into crazy schemes, and John had loved sharing a room with him, of course he did, but something had still ached as he helped take Scott’s aeroplane posters down from between his glow in the dark stars to put them up on bare blue walls that smelt of new paint. Virgil had never woken up when John went to stargaze, no matter what he tripped over or how much he swore, so he never came with him on those forbidden midnight trips either. Scott had. 

But after Mum, because John was evidently all for following miserable trains of thought tonight, Scott technically had still shared a room with them. Just when no one, especially Dad, would notice. John had woken up to the door opening after everyone else was asleep each night to Scott tiptoeing in to curl up on the floor between his and Virgil’s beds, wrapped in the blue baby blanket that had been Allie’s until it was put away but had originally been knitted by Mum for Scott.

John had always shuffled over to make room for Scott beside him. Scott shouldn’t be alone, he wasn't meant to be alone but everyone had known that evidently except for Dad. He’d always woken up at dawn when Scott left too…

Scott’s hand back on his shoulder startled him, and between the flinch he barely processed the worried, “Earth to John?” 

A wave of dizziness hit and John buried his head in his knees. 

“Sorry,” John mumbled.

“No apologies needed.”

Scott gently took the container of noodles out of his hand which he was holding and had kinda forgotten about, even as the pointed edges dug into his palm. John’d only managed half of his before he had to put it aside. Maybe later, if he got over the nausea. 

Scott held out an arm, giving John the option of being pulled into a hug. He swallowed and shuffled closer, then leant against Scott. 

[nobodycallsmerae]

Hello, Hello!

Soo, a few days back, I had shared a post asking for some BBRae AU fanfiction recommendations, so, let's put the fact aside that it didn't really help... but now, I'm here to share some stories that I've read, and I recommend reading!

So, this list only consists of AU (Alternate Universe) stories where they aren't superheroes, so you can skip it if you want ^^

So... I won't rank them, because I think every story is amazing, (and I'm pretty easy to please,) so, I'm just assorting them as I keep collecting the links :) Also, I'll try my best to review the stories without giving away any spoilers...

Firstly, there are too many good fics to count, but here I am mentioning the ones which stood up in my mental folder. (Also, it only includes completed stories.)

This list includes all types of stories, high school, co-workers, roommates and all... the ratings are between T-M.

(Links lead to stories on Fanfiction.net.)

The Butterfly Effect -by Light NS | Rated M for semi-sexually explicit material and topics of depression and suicide.

This story definitely comes in my top-5 list blindly, and it deserves so much more! The story is about Gar and Raven, who are adults now... and let's just say there are far too many coincidences in this one! It's a lovely story with also a healthy amount of tension... because, I personally believe it can't be BBRae without some arguments *shruggs*. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already!!

Broken -by LightNS | Rated T

Oofff... okay, so this story is actually one of the first BBRae stories I've read and it's really close to my heart...

First of all, I want to say that the characters in this story are freakishly accurate. I mean, the personalities are on-point. In this story, the Titans are high schoolers, but this isn't exactly a high school romance kinda book. To be honest, this isn't exactly a romance book..(?) It's more like an action/thriller... And... it isn't heavily a BBRae book... I mean, yeah, it is based on those two characters, and Gar spends most of his time crushing on her... but, y'know, it's a book that shows both of them growing... and learning about each other -and themselves.

The writer does an amazing job to portray the character's feelings and personalities, and I'm sure her writing won't disappoint you.

The only drawback this story has is... well, it has a discontinued sequel named "Glass", so, it's kinda sad that, I mean, I've fallen in love with those characters... but, they don't really have a happy ending soo…

This writer is also on Tumblr, @lightns881 , so you can also visit her blog and support her!

By the way, there're also really great BBRae communities to be found on Fanfiction.net and you can check them out for more fun stuff to read. The ones I thoroughly recommend are:

"Best Of BBRae" which basically has all the goodness, IU and AU (but, it's a bit old so... you might not see newer fics there.); and

"Best Of BBRae AU's" which is a collection of one of the best AU stories.

Moving on...

Everything Has Changed -by Chibi 1309 | Rated M for Mature themes and language.

This story also comes in my beloved top-5 list!!

I don't really know what to say about this story without ruining it, but if you're on the lookout for an adult Titans BBRae fic, this is definitely your stop. Well, let me just say that, Gar and Rachel are best friends, a troupe I personally adore, and they live together in an apartment in Jump City.

This story has a lot... I mean, A LOT of feels, and the writer... *chef kiss* She really knows what she's doing. May it be the setting, the characters, the emotions... the author could deliver it wonderfully.

It also has a lot of other Titan members, so I like the fact that it also gives us an insight on what's going on in their lives too, rather than just Gar and Rachel.

Hands up in surrender, I won't say anything else, because I don't trust my mouth (or fingers), but this work is definitely a must read.

"Spy vs Spy" by Caitastrophe8499 | Rated M for mature themes, violence, and adult situations.

This... is a masterpiece people. You should definitely read it... like RIGHT NOW!

In this story, Gar and Rae are from rival agencies, Doom Patrol and Titans, and as fate has it, they're forced to work together. Neither of them are happy about it, because of each other's cocky and standoffish attitude and as both of them work best solo... and also... both of them hate each other... at first. This book, it includes lots of action, and if you knew me, you'll know that I am a sucker for crime and thriller. I mean, this story in itself is so great, it could be adapted into an ACTION MOVIE!! Or maybe a graphic novel to start with. :)

And what's best about it is, it doesn't only show two people romance each other, it shows a group of people working together to catch a deadly villain. I won't say much more to build suspense, but all I'll say is, it's entertaining, spicy, and the character dynamic fit perfectly with their relationship and situation, and if you haven't read it, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! CHECK IT OUT NOW!! This will probably be one of the best recommendations of your life.

Assuming -by magisterquinn | Rated T

This is a feel good, light-hearted BBRae story that I very much enjoyed. So, basically, it's about Raven (or is it Rachel, I forget), and how the (dashingly handsome and) annoying employee won't leave her alone. She also gets a series of mail that sparks her interest, and I don't trust myself to say more without spoiling it.

Magisterquinn, the author, has an amazing collection of the BBRae (AU) stories they've written, "Chivalry Isn't Dead", "Making Mr.Right" (a must read) and "In Paris" to name a few, so, I definitely recommend checking out their profile for amazing and clever reads.

The Malchior Widow -by beautifulpurpleflame | Rated M

...this story...all I wanna say is... if you haven't read it, you're missing out on something wonderful in your fangirl(/boy) life.

This story is based on my favorite troupe, which is where all Gar wants is for Raven to open up to him. It's like, Raven is a reserved, "untouchable" person, and Gar, being Gar... feels an urge to talk to her. After many, many attempts, when Gar finally talks to her, his friends are like, "How'd you get her to talk?" or "How's she open up to you?" and the response is, "No one's ever even tried before."

"The Malchior Widow" goes at a satisfying, feel-good pace... and it's one hell of a journey. I mean, as the title suggests, Raven's a widow, and she isn't exactly open to the possibility of loving... or trusting someone else yet. It shows not only both of them falling in love... but also understanding, knowing, and learning to trust each other.

Another good AU story by Beautifulpurpleflame is "The Beach House", so you can also read that.

Honorary mention::

"How To Save Her Life" (Rated T) by "Beautifulpurpleflame"

If you're looking for a wholesome, toe-curling good, filled with feels, amazing, awesome, family Titans BBRae story... this book will give you everything... or any of Beautifulpurpleflame's stories really...

I mean, that girl... is a legend... Her stories are so great.. just... I'm speechless

Don't forget to check 'em out.

You can also follow this amazing writer on Tumblr, @beautifulpurpleflame , and show her some love and support.

Okay, another story... Now this may be considered cheating, as I'm only including completed stories... but I couldn't stop myself from not mentioning this story...

Nevermore Records -by LilyTimbers | Rated T

According to the author, only one chapter and an epilogue is left... so, I guess we could wave it off with a yellow flag?

I, myself, can't go on a single day without music. And the idea of my favorite team of superheroes... being a Rock Band..? Boy, ya' don't gotta tell me twice!

This is a slow burn story, which includes Gar in his mid-twenties, along with the other Titans (except Raven), being a part of a Rock Band, which plays gigs at different places just as a side hobby. But, as they have real talent, they get a once in a life-time chance to be an officially labeled band, they're ought to be super hit. Here, we also see some other Titans, which is a real sight for sore eyes sometimes... But, just being good doesn't mean that everything's out for them in a gold platter. The team itself faces lots of challenges which is, truth be told, really entertaining. And the fact that Gar's love interest is his own manager? Oooh... you're up for a real good ride...

I'll keep the rest of the reading to you... and believe me, the story is waaay better than my small review.

The author is also an amazing artist, and has many beautiful BBRae fanarts on her Tumblr profile @lilytimbers , so you can follow her for updates! (though tbh I think you already do... but I felt like saying it, soo...)

If you're also a sucker for musical band based BBRae story, don't forget to check out

Harmony -by Kid Walker | Rated M

Here, Raven joins a singing group which does covers, and quite willingly, she can't seem to keep her eyes off of their leader/director, Gar Logan... and looks like he can't either. It's an amazing story, and I believe you'll really enjoy reading it!

(The story itself is complete, just some extra bonus chapters that the Author posts are yet to be updated, so I guess this story qualifies.)

.

There is also a huge collection of amazing BBRae AU stories on Wattpad, too many to count, but here are two stories that I remember... and had a good time reading...

(On Wattpad only: (and only completed ones.))

High School -by anssoftball94

Soo... as you might've guessed from the title, here Gar and Rae are high schoolers. They live together with Rick (Dick/Robin), Kory and Vic in the Tower. I guess we could call it a slow burn, and what I enjoy is it also has the other Titans in a satisfying amount.

What I love about this story is that Gar and Rae don't just jump into a romantic relationship (like most teens do, I'm just sayin'!) and start a romance, no. In this story, first, they understand each other... and in a subtle manner, fall for each other. It's a really sweet and practical story, and I really enjoyed it... (even though I had to wait for the ending for decades!!)

Just one thing that makes this story a bit weird is that instead of "Gar" or "Garfield", Beast Boy is mentioned as "Logan" throughout the whole story... so... it was a bit... y'know? *shruggs*. But otherwise it's a must read.

A+ -by NikolaDabrowska

This story, to be honest, will definitely qualify as a cliché high school romance, "popular basketball kid falls for introverted bookworm nerd", but I really enjoyed reading it.

I mean like, you know what they say about Disney Classics, right? Even though we've read Beauty and The Beast or Snow White, we still like to watch the movies..? This story's like that.

Even though the troupe is kinda cliché, the story itself is executed in a very engaging manner, with interesting character dynamics and some original plots, so, I would definitely recommend reading it. (I, myself, have read it more than five times...)

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So, that was a list of the BBRae AU stories that I highly recommend! There are more amazing (and incomplete) stories out there to read, but these are just the ones I've thoroughly enjoyed (and remembered.)

Also, feel free to share your BBRae story, if you have written any, and I'll happily read and support your story!!

Happy Reading!

Quick endnote, if you've read this post till here, do me a favor and check out my stories too! ;)

On Fanfiction.net and Wattpad.

All of my stories are complete, instead of "Tease Is Just The Cover" on FF.net (which I don't think I'm gonna work on any time soon), so feel free to check 'em out!

Sorry for the advertising, but I also want an audience y'know?

THANK YOU! And I hope you have a good day/evening/night ahead!

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Previously On Supernatural Season 3, we had a really rock solid trio of episodes to kick us off right, so what does SPN do next? It’s gonna lay the groundwork for some spicy character development that may or may not pay off by the end of the season. Let's find out!

To be honest, I felt the next three episodes just sort of plateau? There’s enough nuggets in these three eps - “Sin City”, “Bedtime Stories”, and “Red Sky at Morning” - that it does feel like they’re setting up for something big but it’s taking too much time. If the season had been longer, I don’t know that I’d be complaining, because there’s SO much potential introduced with these character developments, but I know it’s gonna get cut off at the knees in the very near future. 2021 Me has been trained on what to expect from a short season, so half of my brain wants to give the show slack for Unexpected Circumstances, but the other half of my brain is shouting YOUR NOT DRIVING THE BUS FAST ENOUGH, YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE LINE IN TIME!!!

And that’s maybe unfair because there really are some great nuggets in here. We’ve got “Sin City”, which is Dean’s episode. I mean, they’re ALL Dean’s episode, but this one more so than the other two in this post. Dean gets trapped with a demon who turns out to be...kinda...nice? In kind of a Stockholm Syndromey way I guess? She let’s Dean in on the fate that awaits him when his year long contract is up and it is NOT great. This isn’t the first time we see that there’s more to the demons than SPN has shown us in the past (hello, Ruby), but it is the first time Dean chills out enough to actually have a conversation with one. Dean doesn’t really get it, like he’s still not interested in getting out of his deal, but the fear gets planted, it just needs some time to grow. Oh, also, the Colt Ex Machina is back in action, so that's important.

This dumb bitch thinks he can fool us with that devil-may-care side glance but he caaaan't

But then we get “Bedtime Stories”, the Sam episode, where Sam learns...to let go? That’s the point of this episode right? It’s about letting go of someone before that person becomes too toxic and dangerous? At least, that’s the lesson that Dean wants Sam to take away from this case. But Sam will NOT learn this lesson, so instead he tries to cancel Dean’s deal by killing the crossroads demon who wrote it. Spoiler Alert: it doesn't work.

And then we get “Red Sky At Morning”, which opens and closes with some heavy emotional baggage, but then is stuffed full of fun. Like, this episode ricochets wildly in terms of Feelings, but then that’s probably what we should expect from SPN. I mean, what show have I been watching for 3 seasons now?

Fun Facts guys: I’m a tired Millenial, and swapping DVD discs was too much work so I switched over to watching this season on Netflix and GUESS WHAT???? THESE EPISODES COME WITH A SUICIDE WARNING!?!?!

They're not wrong.

And like, if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about this season I don’t know WHAT will. Cuz Dean is absolutely suicidal and I am surprised (??) I guess (???) by how much the show acknowledges that. Or I guess, surprised by how much Netflix acknowledges that. It’s something that I did not...pick up on the first go around on season 3, possibly because I was 19 and I was an idiot and found this sort of emotional vulnerability to be endearing. Listen, I know there’s a lot to be said about the producers of the show making...umm…poor decisions in regards to character developments? But if the target demographic of this show was anything like me - and I suspect they were - then the viewers were also...probably...responding inappropriately to some of those character developments. And here’s the thing - I’m looking at this from 12 years in the future, with 12 years worth of real life drama that makes the heavy handed melodrama of television feel...well, heavy handed. Maybe irresponsible? Certainly a little uncomfortable. Big Me is having A Time confronting Little Me’s taste in TV Characters. It’s one thing to have a kink, Little Me, it’s another thing to romanticize suicidal depression.

And hey, I can’t deny that the character development for Dean makes sense. I actually appreciate that the show is thinking through the world and the relationship dynamics that they’ve built and the toll that these misadventures are having on their main characters. These episodes all get bookended by Impala Fights where Sam keeps pushing Dean to give a shit about his own life and Dean responds with an inability to care. That’s just where he is right now, and I get that. We’re early in the season still. But how will the rest of the season handle this? I honestly can’t remember but I also don’t want this to be a throw-away issue that they use to remind us that Dean’s supposed to die at the end of the season. I’m prob gonna come back to this throughout the season because I ~just~want~this~show~to be~repsonsiblllllleeeeeeeeeeee.

Lol, I know, that’s a lot to ask from the CW.

ON TO MORE FUN THINGS!!

Sam is gettin’ reeeeeallll bitchy in these episodes and #1, I love it, Bitchy Sam 5Ever, but also #2, was this supposed to be the sign that Sam was going darkside? Like, he’s snarky, he’s angry, he’s not pulling any punches and that could just be him reacting to his brother’s situation but it could also be….you know...him...becoming slightly...evil? For instance in “Sin City”, he kills the two demons who kidnapped Dean without even thinking. On the one hand, this is the Winchester MO, they kill demons, that’s their job, but on the other hand, Dean is actively telling Sam to stop. Same deal in “Bed Time Stories” - Sam kills the crossroads demon in cold blood (or maybe viscera). Again, we could blame this on instinct - the Winchesters were brought up to do exactly this - but 1) Dean keeps telling Sam not to and 2) that’s not Sam. This show spent 2 seasons telling us that Sam is the Good Brother, the White Hat, the Touchy-Feely One. This is not the Touchy Feely Sam who reasons with ghosts and falls in love with werewolves. Like, everyone else sees it too, right? Also, he is usually very nice to everyone but he is a REAL BITCH to Gertrude in “Red Sky at Morning.” Like, come on, Sam, she just wants to have a nice time. She is OLD. You really think she’s got what it takes to climb that tree?

Honestly, how tall are this lady's heels?

I know that there was a plan for Sam to start Turning in this season before the show’s episode order got slashed due to the Writer’s Strike. And man, I really would have liked to have seen this play out. Like, first season Sam is the Innocent, right? He’s our stand in for the viewer in those first few episodes and then he’s revealed to be kind of the only thing that went right in the lives of both John and Dean, so Baby Must Be Protected at All Costs. The fact that John ultimately lets Sam go off to college and doesn’t contact him for the next four years says to me that on some level, John felt the need to preserve that innocence, that kind of untouched quality Sam has. Dean is very similar - whenever Sam gets too into the job, Dean calls him out on it. So in the second season when we find out that Sam might be evil, it’s a real punch in the gut, for Dean most of all. But then the show admittedly got bored with that storyline and it didn’t really go anywhere. So whereas Dean has personality in SPADES that fluctuates and changes and develops/maybe just gets more intense as the show goes on, Sam remains that kind of blank slate that the viewer can put their face on. Except now we’re in season three, and if you’ve bought into this show, then you’ve bought into it, so the audience doesn’t need a Blank Slate Sam anymore. And if you start with Sam the Innocent and then introduce the idea of Dark!Sam and then just leave that concept hanging, then isn’t this sort of like Checkov’s Evil Sam? If you introduce Evil Sam in the first act you really ought to deliver on Evil Sam by act three, right? Wouldn’t that have been A+ and Wild? Wouldn’t that have made Sam’s arc and emotional struggles over the previous seasons have more weight?

Will this be resolved in later seasons? Maybe. I’m gonna be honest, this is the last season I watched all the way through and seasons 4 through...like, 8 were real touch and go for me. I know that Sam ultimately is revealed to be a vessel for??? The devil??? And Dean is ultimately revealed to be a vessel for??? Michael??? And then the two of them???? Fight to the death???? Point is, season 5 got weird guys and I’m not there yet.

Back to more fun things! You know what guys?? I think I ship Dean and Bela. I’m...almost ashamed to admit it? Like, I remember Little Me watching this season and just dumping on Bela, I HATED her, but this time? I am 1,000% On Board This Ship. Like, there is an alternate universe somewhere where these two got a spinoff show that ran for 6 seasons and I watched EVERY episode. And then, like, 5 years after it ended, they rebooted it with Dean and Bela’s grown up daughter as the lead and the whole OG cast makes cameos over the three seasons it stays on the air and it’s amazing. I’d own both shows on DVD.

What I like about Bela this time around (and again, I am WILDLY surprised about this development), is that she can dish it just as hard as the Winchesters can. Like, every line Dean throws at her she holds up a mirror to say, “Oh yes, I know the Kettle is black, but what color are you, Pot?” and I’m just continually thrilled. She is also just as damaged as Dean is but somehow channeling it into a healthier way? Like, she’s true Chaotic Neutral, which is not necessarily healthy, it’s just healthier than Dean. Or maybe it’s just that she’s better at managing it. In either case, they are HOT MESSES and I love it. I just love it. I know I complained about shoehorned romances but Ackles and Lauren Cohan just totally crush it in every scene and when Dean walks down the stairs all She’s All That in “Red Sky at Morning”, I yelled at the screen OMG just BONE already!!!!! And then like, 5 seconds later, Bela literally says “We should really have angry sex,” and it was probably the most vindicating moment I’ve had on this ride so far.

I just think they're neat!

WHY did we cancel her? WHY?? I don’t want to believe it was the Wincest again, so I’m gonna pretend that it wasn’t, but it was definitely fans. According to Kripke, Bela gets the axe at the end of this season because of the fan hatred of her. Now, I’ve already admitted that I personally held a grudge, but good Lord, what was wrong with us, as a Fandom? To be fair to me (and all of us), would we have felt differently if we had not been introduced to Jo a mere season earlier?? I'm gonna say yes. Although I had misgivings about Jo the first episode we meet her, by the end of season 2 I was certainly on her side. Working through season 3, I am remembering that, when we were introduced to Bela, I was immediately FURIOUS because WTF, WHERE’S JO? SPN just introduced to her. They just settled on a love interest for Dean and the writer’s just got me on board with that. Now they’ve completely done away with both that character AND that dynamic and you want me to get on board this NEW thing? And be excited about it??? So I'm gonna blame the love-interest-whiplash, combined with the fact that Little Me related my own personal self more to Jo than to Bela, that made me hate Bela in the first place. When you look at how quickly the show abandoned one character to introduce another character, it makes sense why fans got mad, but I’m also mad that we continued to hate Bela when she turned out to be such an A+ Frenemy. It makes me want to shout at the writers through the time void COMMIT TO A FEMALE CHARACTER YOU JAGWEEDS.

What’s wild watching this show now is just how Male it was, especially considering its audience was already skewed heavily female by this point in the series. If you made this show today, I don’t know that you could do that. Today, there’s a real push for balanced, diverse casts in programming, especially in sci-fi/fantasy and young adult. I think if SPN had started in 2021, they would have introduced the Harvell’s or Bela up in season 1, and that introduction would have been much more intentional. The benefit of having a shorter episode count as the standard is that there’s less of the “throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks” approach. Looking at it from 2021, reading snippets of interviews from Kripke, that’s definitely what they’re doing with the side characters in these seasons and you can feel that in Jo and Bela. A shorter season means that the storytelling has to be tighter, it can’t wander, so every decision has to be a load-bearing decision. On the other hand, one of the down sides of having a shorter episode count is the exact same thing - less room to throw stuff, less room to experiment. Heck, Bobby was technically a character they threw at the wall and he didn’t just stick, he became a tentpole character of the series. The only side character that actually made it into the series finale even!

So how much room should we be giving our television programs? I think it depends on the show, honestly. I think you have to decide up front if you want space to experiment, or if you have one, tight, compact story line that’s gonna drive viewers from episode 1 right through the finale without giving them the chance to catch their breath. You have to make the decision, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop making one style of show in favor of the other. Just because we’re in the Age of Streaming doesn’t mean there isn’t room enough for both.

[rightpastnowhere]

I’d like to believe that if Kyoko wanted to kiss Makoto because of a Hope speech she wants to kiss him and tries...only for Mukuro to steal said kiss which shocks Makoto and Kyoko. Angry, the detective claims that was her kiss and the soldier replies with she couldn’t help it. Kyoko decides to steal the kiss by planting her lips on Mukuro. Makoto seeS where this is going and leaves his partners to be alone but they just grab him and bring him into the session.

hooooo boy this be a SPICY ask

while naegi is most often just an adorable, fluffy ball of sunshine that kirigiri and ikusaba must protect(tm), there are times where he will get super passionate about something and he’ll just start... yelling. especially if he’s arguing with someone. he’ll slam his hands on tables, point fingers, and cut people off in the middle of their sentences. it’s sometimes hilarious cause his voice will crack all over the place, but it’s also... kinda hot, if kiri and ikusaba are being honest with themselves.

the same thing applies to whenever he makes his hope speeches. he gets super into it, with his voice loud and clear (except for the cracks), standing up taller - sometimes on chairs, even a table once - and just generally being an unstoppable positive force. he gets super, super fired up, and he has this huge determined grin that you can’t look away from. he takes up all the space in the room, despite being 5’3. and while kirisaba may not find this hot, per se, they do find it attractive - but moreso, they find it admirable. it’s one of their favorite things about him.

it’s after one of these hope speeches - in the privacy of their home, after something depressing had come on the news - that kirigiri decides she wants to show naegi just how much she appreciates (and loves) his hopeful side. so she grabs him by the arm, closes her eyes, and leans in for a kiss. but before their lips can meet, she feels him pulled out of her grasp, and looks up to see ikusaba stealing the kiss from right under her nose. when they break apart, ikusaba flashes a subtle smirk at kirigiri, relishing in her victory. but kiri isn’t gonna let her get away that easily.

with an expression that mirrors ikusaba’s, she grabs the soldier’s shirt collar and pulls her in, taking the kiss from naegi right back from her. ikusaba is surprised, but overall not complaining as she reciprocates it, and it gets a little more intense than its original purpose as revenge intended it to get. naegi just chuckles, and gets up to leave them some space, but kirigiri - without looking up - reaches out and yanks naegi right back to them.

interpret that ending however you wish ;)

[ombreecha]

It's ya boi, ombreecha, comin at cha live with a spicy new lemon. Hope ya enjoy cause it's ya, boi.

my friend on discord who will remain nameless

[dummy-draws]

Updated Linus reference sheet! 

(Written bio under the cut part)

GENERAL INFO: 

NAME: Linus  (Old name is impossible for humans to pronounce) GENDER: Male AGE: Unknown, but appears to be an adult SPECIES: An unknown species of humanoid aliens

APPEARANCE:

Linus has a deep purple skin all through out his body, except for his two tails, which are a lighter shade of purple. One tail is on his head and the other at the end of his spine like with many mammals. The bottom tail is very powerful and has bones in it, while the head tail doesn't. His head tail is able to split open from the tip.

He is missing one of his two arms, the left one being replaced with a robotic prosthetic arm with a built-in plasma cannon. He has four fingers on each hand and on his normal hand the fingers are pointy, but not sharp. His left arm can be detached from the rest of his body, which Linus does when he goes to sleep.

He wears a pair of Brown boots with lighter brown accents.

His eyes are bright blue and they can change their shape according to his expressions. He doesn't have ears or nose, but does have a mouth with light pink pointed teeth and a purple pointed tongue. He has small nose- and ear holes which cannot be seen.

COMBAT ABILITIES:

STRENGTHS:

Linus is very fast and agile, and is able to use his tails as extra limbs. His tail is very powerful, and he's able to cause the ground to shake with a strong enough slam. He has a built-in plasma cannon in his prosthetic arm, which can shoot a powerful plasma beam.

WEAKNESSES:

Linus's weak spot is his stomach, he'll get paralyzed for a moment if struck there. He's not a strategist, so he doesn't always have a great plan when he attacks. He can't see very well in the dark. If his arm is taken away he significantly more disadvantaged.

PERSONALITY:

In general Linus is an ok dude. He usually keeps his cool in most situations, but sometimes he can get very stubborn, and usually tries his best to reach his goals.

Linus can be rather harsh if he chooses to. He can give pretty snarky responses to others and generally is kind of talkative. He tries to be in good terms with everyone, but often that doesn't work out. If he doesn't like someone, he will try to avoid them at all costs. He's not the type of person to have fake friendships.

He's rather a rather proud person and can be a bit greedy at times. He also can be a jerk sometimes, but never towards his friends, who he wouldn't want to hurt in any way. He's very confident about himself and his abilities. He can get a bit cynical in some situations.

Despite his negative traits, Linus is very reliable. He never leaves a friend in trouble and may be even willing to give up his own safety for them if necessary. If someone dares to make fun of or hurt his friends, they will face his fury, as this is something that can make him very angry.

He is usually honest, sometimes even a bit too honest about his feeling and opinions towards others. He often doesn't think before talking, but he can keep a secret regardless. He usually acts happy and cool with everyone, but tends to have depressive periods now and then, when he becomes more quiet and easier to make upset or angry.

Linus likes action, but doesn't go out his way to search for it. If something happens, he's ready to get his hands dirty, as he is an excellent fighter. This make him a bit over confident at times, which can cost him in a fight with someone better than him. He isn't a sore loser, but will get embarrassed if he looses a battle.

THINGS HE LIKES:

The sound of rain, battle training, sweet foods, winning, proving others wrong, his boots

THINGS HE DISLIKES:

Spicy foods, hurting others by accident, thinking or talking about his past, people staring at him, government and authorities

BACKSTORY:

Linus was born and raised on a small, unknown planet somewhere in the Milky way galaxy. The planet was very similar to ours, capable of having life on it. One of the three dominant species on the planet was Linus's species, which were the most civilized one of the three as well. The creatures had advanced technologically far past of what we humans have at this point in time.

One day, Linus was walking home from the local store- like facility. Lately there had been uproars and protests against the government of the planet, which was rumored to plan a mass genocide of the population. The people was pretty much  split in two on ideals and opinions, some believed the rumors, some didn't at all. Things were getting very heated and everything was in danger to get out of control, and that day it escalated into more than just words. There was a protest group at an opening shouting at the passerbys, until suddenly the first fire of the civil war was opened by an opposing protest group. Linus, along with multiple other civilians was caught in between the crossfire and got hit by an explosion caused by one of the sides, causing him to fly off and hit his head, knocking him unconscious. When he came to, he was in a makeshift hospital in the sewer system of the city, made to assist any survivors of the attack as the nearest hospital- like facility got bombed down by the fighting sides. As he woke up he noticed his left arm missing and the remaining stub being wrapped in bandages. He was explained that he had lost his arm in the explosion... Later he was given a robotic prosthetic as a replacement.

Months passed and the population slowly shrunk due to the war that was going on, as people died either on the lines of the two fighting sides or in the crossfire. The government wouldn't do anything for some reason, perhaps they couldn't, perhaps they just... didn't want to do anything about it. Everyone who survived had to live underground to not get caught in the crossfire. Linus, along with some of his friends that had survived started to plan a way to escape the planet: One of them knew of an escape pod that had been developed at the planet's space research facility. With this rocket, they could escape the planet. They gathered a group and started to make their journey towards the facility. Along the way they lost a few of souls to explosions, but at last they made it to the facility. It being heavily guarded, they had to sneak their way in. They managed to sneak in and find the escape pod, but just as Linus stepped in to check it out, they were caught by guards. Having no time left, Linus's friends quickly closed the pod with Linus inside and send it off to space while they stayed behind to fight. Linus couldn't do anything as the small rocket launched into the air and flew off into the space. The technology being as advanced as it was, the rocket was extremely fast and managed to leave the planet in just minutes.

After a while of flying through the space and looking as his planet was only barely visible in the distance, Linus suddenly saw a big flash of light as the entire planet exploded in front of his eyes. The blast sent him flying even faster through the space, and he couldn't do anything but watch in horror as his home and everyone he loved got obliterated in front of his eyes.

After what seemed like days of grieving , he finally got himself together, not wanting to his friends' sacrifice go to waste and set his course to the closest planet that could bare life, which happened to be Earth.

Linus landed in the fields close to a small town. Weak and starving, he stumbled across a small cottage of a farmer, who despite being very surprised about the odd visitor, was pretty cool with letting him and offering him some food. Linus couldn't understand a word the farmer said and vice versa, but he understood that the farmer didn't really want to hurt him or anything. The farmer let Linus stay for a while, he lived alone and this would be an interesting experience. The farmer tried to teach Linus English, which he learned a couple of words. After a week or so Linus decided that it was time to leave, and the following night he sneaked out and ran off.

Linus lived in mostly forests for a good chunk of his life on Earth. One day as he wondered around he came across the small town he landed nearby. He decided to walk around and was confused to see staring at him. He didn't get it, and brushed it off, until police officers suddenly approached him. They asked him some questions, which Linus of course couldn't understand. They had thought that Linus was some guy in a costume, but since he was acting "suspiciously" They decided to as a couple of questions. Getting nervous, Linus suddenly ran off, which caused the policemen to chase him for a while, until Linus managed to lose them. Deciding that this wan't the best place for him he started to leave, until he heard a scream form somewhere. Running towards it, he witnessed store getting robbed and the robbers running off with the money. Linus understood what was going on and quickly ran after the robbers, quickly catching up with them and knocking them out with his tail. He went to return the money, but police was there waiting for him. They were going to arrest them, until witnesses told them what had happened. The policemen let Linus go for his quickly actions and he quickly returned the money to the store before leaving for the forest again.

Along the years he has learned to speak English almost perfectly, though he is still stumbling with some words. He adapted the name "Linus", since his old name was impossible to pronounce by humans. He has visited the same town many times now, most of the humans there just assume that he's some weird guy in a costume of something. Some know of his true nature, and have promised to stay quiet about it. Linus lately has decided to venture further, to visit some other towns or maybe even cities. Nowadays he just tries to live his life on this strange and sometimes hostile planet.

EXTRA INFO:

- Linus owns a silver locket with a carving of a strange symbol on it. He has carved it himself, and it appears to be a letter in his native language. It has something inside of it, but it is unknown what is in there.

- Linus's native language is impossible for humans to pronounce, and to our ears it sounds very weird.

- Linus takes his left arm off when going to sleep, because the art bothers him a little.

- He has PTSD caused by him losing his arm and that was worsened by witnessing his home getting destroyed.

- He's best buds with Tokko.

- Some expressions.

- His blood is pink/purple. 

[starchild--27]

85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake .  This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening  

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone 

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much 

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends 

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do. 

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long 

36. do you have a crush on someone -  if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.     

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD     

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.  

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus -  no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

[kitsukyouno]

Chapter 1:

Mostly an introduction to the characters. Ako is an honest and bit stand-offish girl. She dresses like a yankee but isn't trying to intimidate anyone. She is bad with people that get too close too quickly. Ako is disinterested and distant, isn't very friendly with anyone other than a couple people. Her best friend is Ramo Marusa. Ramo is called Maru-san by their classmates. Ako came up with that nickname. But when the other kids started to use it she stopped. She felt jealous of them. Ako likes Ramo romantically. She goes on to talk about how Ramo is a pretty girl that's also smart, sociable and intelligent. Ramo is also in the dance club and the student council committee. But she still has time to hang out with Ako. Ramo has bags under her eyes, Ako thinks they're from sleep deprivation.

 Chapter 2:

Ako is invited to a tea party at Class D. Ako thinks they're super-lame judgmental girls, but she still goes because she was invited by Ramo. It's after school, so the class is empty other than the girls and a male student playing a videogame. The male student is short and small and has a boyish face. One of the D class girls invites the guy to sits close to them. Ramo starts talking to the guy and Ako feels jealous. One of the D class girls had brought a spicy super sauce. Everyone is afraid of trying it except for the guy, who eats it nonchalantly on a chip. Ako feels that it is a challenge and also eats it on a chip. Her face turns red and her tongue is on fire. She tries drinking tea but the tea is hot and makes everything worse. Ako goes running out of the classroom all the way to the water faucets (the water fountain was out of order). She tries to drink upside down and water comes out of her nose. Ako stars crying and she thinks that it's better for her to return home. However, she forgot her phone in the classroom. Ramo arrives with her phone and asks her if she is fine. Ako says that they should be dating, but Ramo replies that sure, if she can turn into a guy. Ako smiles melancholic and they return to the classroom together. The D class girls were worried about Ako.

 Chapter 3:

Ako invites Ramo to Starbucks so they can do their physics homework, even if it's basically Ramo explaining things to Ako like a teacher. Ako says that they should go to Disney Sea together. After the school festival in October, their class will go to Disney Land. Ako already went to Disney Land. Ramo agrees, but she will need to clean up her schedule. Ramo stares at her schedule, having a hard time to find space. Ako feels a bit awkward, but they eventually agree on a date and she goes home feeling happy. Later that week, on Sunday, Ako is being lazy in her room. She is supposed to be studying but is fooling around on her phone. At school, she wears contacts, but she actually needs glasses so she is wearing them now. Her mom sends her to buy kitchen paper and a bag of ice at the Ultra 7 store. Ako complies and goes to the Ultra 7. Everything seems to be going fine until she sees Ramo on the other side of the street. She can't believe her eyes, not because it's Ramo but due to the circumstances. First, Ramo was with an older man that seemed to be the age of Ako's father. He was smaller than her. The man tried to grab Ramo's hands, and Ramo shakes him off. However, she doesn't leave and keeps talking with him. They leave heading towards the same direction. Ramo is also wearing a school uniform that Ako doesn't recognize. Besides, Ramo had told Ako that she was going to be busy with practice that day. Ako couldn't move and the ice bag that she was carrying melts.

 Chapter 4:

Things are awkward the next day at school. Ako feels that Ramo is more distant than usual. During the literature class, Ramo falls asleep. That has never happened before. Ako wonders what the reason is and feels pain in her chest. As the day passes, Ako starts noticing that Ramo is doing more "non-Ramo-like" things, such as not taking notes in classes, getting scolded by upperclassmen and not answering requests from the student council. Ako wonders if she truly knows Ramo. In their next break period, Ako walks up to Ramo and pushes her head down. She thinks about how Ramo lied to her, skipped dance classes, was hanging out with an older man and wearing a uniform from a different school. Ramo says that it hurts and Ako stops, thinking to herself that she is the one hurting.

 Chapter 5:

Ako avoids Ramo the next day. She starts thinking about many things, feeling depressed. She sees an advertisement for the Olympics. Where will she be in 2020? Where will Ramo be in 2020? She decides to leave school by the parking lot instead of the front entrance. She looks at the fields and saw students going to do do sports and other activities behind the fence, they look like zoo animals. There, she sees a boy that talks to Ramo about shogi. He seems to have trouble with his bike. The chain needs to be arranged. Ako stares at him, his hands are dirty with oil and probably needs help. The guy calls to her, Ako tries to ignore him. Why should she help him? What if she gets all dirty with oil herself. The guy calls to her again. Ako sighs and walks over to him. She helps him by holding the chain, his hands are dirtied with oil. They walk back to school to wash their hands. While walking, he asks if she is a friend of Maru. Ako is surprised he knows her name. She says that she and Ramo are part of a shogi group. "Maru-san has decided to live with her mom." He says. Ako is perplexed. The guy explains, Ramo's parents got divorced. She had been living with her father and his lover plus her daughter for the time being. She doesn't get along with her mother. However, she can't stand her father's lover anymore so she is going to stay with her mother. In the end, Ramo can't really deal with either parent so that's the reason she spends so much time at school or studying. Her money comes from working a long term part-time job. Ako wonders if Ramo has been using that money to accompany her to Starbucks or go to Disney Sea. "Ramo isn't that kind of person at all!" Ako replies to the revelations. The guy looks at her with a surprised expression. "You're the kind of person that judges people by appearances, aren't you?" Ako is shocked by his words.

 Chapter 6:

The guy tells her to ask Maru-san about her job, thanks her and leaves. Ako starts walking back to the school. She realizes that she has been doing what she hates the most, labeling people based on how they look. Like the D class girls and the guy. And even her "beloved Ramo." Ako tries to wash her hands over and over again, but the oil just won't come out. She looks out of the window and sees Ramo through the windows of the next building. Desperately, Ako runs to meet her. When she gets there, she notices that Ramo is wearing her practice uniform. Long black shorts and a white shirt. "I forgot to give these notebook to the upperclassmen, so I came to get it from my locker." Ramo says, with a smile. Ako can barely even breathe, she grabs Ramo's hands tightly and drags her away. They walk all the way to the first floor, Ramo follows Ako without putting up any resistance. Ako is finally calming down, she lets go of Ramo and buys a cold drink. She drinks quickly. Ramo waits until she is done to ask what's going on. Hearing Ramo's voice, Ako feels like crying. "Ramo, I saw you near my house yesterday, wearing the uniform of a school I didn't recognize." She said. Ramo explains that it is her older sister's uniform and she borrowed it. She wears the uniform to not get in trouble with the school for working at a shogi cafe. In that kind of cafe, people go to play shogi with pretty girls. It's not a bad job, but it's not exactly normal. So Ramo decided to hide it. However, she shrugs and says she already quick that job because her father found out about it. Ako finally realizes that Ramo was actually a more rebellious girl than her. Finally, Ako comments "Your father is pretty short, isn't he?" Ramo laughs and replies "Yep, he's tiny." Ako also starts laughing.

 Chapter 7:

It stars raining heavily, so they run to a nearby roof. Ramo skips her dance practice. Ramo tells Ako that they probably won't let her participate in the school festival like this. Ako asks Ramo why she joined the dance club. Ramo replies because she likes it. Ako smiles and says that Ramo is still Ramo, after all. Ramo wonders what she was talking about. "Ramo, it's fine if you don't want to go to Disney Sea." Ako says. "Eh? Why? We already said that we would go, Ako!" Ramo replies. Ako doesn't want to force Ramo to do something she doesn't want to do, but Ramo reassures her that she is looking forward to going with her. Ramo reaches out her hand forward to feel the rain. Ako stares and repeats to herself that Ramo is indeed beautiful. Ramo places her wet hand next to Ako and turns to face her, starting at Ako's eyes. "You know, those contacts really don't suit you." Ako notices that Ramo had also been paying attention to her, nobody at school knew that she wore contacts. Ako places her hand on Ramo's. The oil on Ako's fingertips and the rainwater in Ramos' mixes together.

Note that when Ramo say she will date Ako if she was a guy is good for yuri because they make a cafe with the student with reverse roll like girls dressing as guys.

[cerastes]

O-K so I finally got off Helltime, and now I have the Time to write something I’ve been meaning to: Doki Doki Literature Club prim and proper critique.

Now, you’ve seen me gush about the game, you’ve seen me recommend it to everyone I thought would enjoy it, you’ve seen me go through post-media depression after it, and it is precisely because I enjoyed it so much that I want to do a proper, serious post about it as a piece of media.

This post obviously contains massive spoilers for DDLC. Look away now if you have not read it yet and wish to experience it at full power.

NOW, what is Doki Doki Literature Club? It’s a Visual Novel, but not quite a Visual Novel, I’d say it’s more of a Visual Experience, kind of like a roller coaster. It sure is a read, a short read, but a read nonetheless, but you are not there just for the narrative: The gimmicks and the aesthetic are why you are here. Much like a roller coaster, you also don’t go through it too many times unless you really love it. Aside from the critique, I want to explain why I believe DDLC made amazing use of its medium and choice of narrative to do what it set out to do.

Now, you may say it’s a metanarrative with a heavy emphasis on glitches disguised as a cutesy dating sim, except, you don’t go into it expecting a cutesy dating sim, you go into it knowing something’s funky. The game is honest about it. It has a very serious, very thorough warning right on the get go, and it says to check a specific link to see more in detail. This not only makes it a fair warning, but it also doesn’t spoil anything to those that don’t want to see the warning/don’t need it. That’s a good touch. It’s never disguised, as much as it is stylized as a cutesy dating sim with something lurking within. This is important to note because it’s not a Surprise Genre Change or anything like that: What you get is what was intended for you to know from the get go.

DDLC was never intended as tight narrative, it was always intended to be an experience. It’s definitely not lacking as a narrative, but it’s not deep, either, and I’d say bare bones in some parts. DDLC did not discover the Wheel 2, that is, it’s not a revolutionary read, because it never intended to be a revolutionary read: It was always an experience from the get go. You are not there for the deep, intricate characters, you are there for what is done with the basic characters you get, and with the medium they are presented through. What does this mean? Let’s find out.

The base cast is a very simple selection of tropes we are all familiar with: Sayori, the childhood friend and catalyst as to why the story starts. Yuri, the sweet, loving and yet reclusive and hurt well mannered lady. Natsuki, archetypal tsundere who is very demure and caring past the spicy exterior. Monika, all around ace and role model, good at everything, model student. The characters are nothing new, which, coupled with the previous warning, does raise a few flags immediately: Works with such hard-coded characters and with Something Lurking Within Them tend to be deconstructions or ham fisted parodies that set out to mock these things. An experienced reader will already be on guard.

But, it never goes there.

A lot of things happen in DDLC, but it never once mocks the medium. It never once holds a sign that says “ONLY DUMB VIRGINS PLAY DATING SIMS”, or one that says “THESE BASIC CHARACTERS ARE DUMB AND ONLY FOR LONELY NERDS”. Think about it. It never does. If you thought it did, congrats, that’s your own bias against metanarratives playing you. The closest it gets is Monika saying “You play these kinds of games? Well, that’s weird, but I won’t judge you, haha”. At no point does DDLC actually mock the tropes it employs or the people that enjoy them, it simply uses them to do something unexpected in another way. I really respect this because it’s really easy to just be like “HEHE, THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR. DID YOU EXPECT CUTE DATING, YOU VIRGIN?”, I legit thought that was going to happen, but it didn’t, and I appreciate it, because I can do without cynicism in every single piece of media I consume, especially metanarratives I enjoy so much.

Now, if it’s not a cruel mockery of tropes and those who peruse them, what DOES DDLC do with its “generic trope” characters? It plays them in two ways, both of which I enjoyed: TOO straight, and then subversively.

What does “TOO straight” mean? In Act 1, towards the end of it, you hear Sayori explain her depression. She doesn’t say “I have depression”, she explains her depression in a scene with dialogue that cut a little too deep in the skin of a lot of readers, myself included. The way she explains it, as someone who works in mental health, and as someone who had depression, is shocking because it’s what actual depression feels like. Ask anyone who has or had it, Sayori’s dialogue cut deep and caused this wave of empathy towards her from a lot of people because she’s unexpectedly realistic in this regard compared to what you usually see in fiction. It is, in fact, a recurring theme with the characters, shown subtly with the meatiest narrative resource it uses: The poems.

A rundown, using information from poems and implications from the girls’ dialogue:

Sayori had suicidal depression. Most of her words in the poem minigame refer to sorrow or suicide.

Yuri’s depression is linked to her immense loneliness, and she copes by cutting.

Natsuki is the most adjusted, but she receives regular beatings from her father, and it is implied that she’s so short compared to the other girls due to malnutrition.

We’ll cover Monika later.

DDLC does not make a mockery of the genre, as much as it injects a lot of realism to it that is alien to the genre and characterization. All these causes of depression, sadly, are very common among teenagers. It’s truly uncomfortable because it hits home.

From Act 2 and on, the characters are played subversively: This is when Monika’s tinkering has begun robbing the game of its stability, and has begun amping the bad aspects of the girls purposefully. The narrative heft here is much lower than in the first part of the game, where the poems were subtle windows; instead, here we are on the other side of the window, and the poems from the first part make sense.  No, the narrative heft is not the star here, from Act 2 and on, you are in the part where The Shit Has Gone Down, and you get to see the slow, slow devolution of these people, as they are aware of it. The files start going nuts, new documents appear in your game files, It’s All Gone To Shit, my dude.

A roller coaster is an apt metaphor for Doki Doki Literature Club: Act 1 is the ascent, where it’s all slow and nice and you are telling the person next to you that this can’t be that bad. Act 2 is when you get to the submit and then go down the super vertical rails of the roller coaster at 600 kilometers per hour, screaming in languages you didn’t even know you knew: That’s when the experience begins.

I need to put emphasis on the word experience. Salvato wasn’t making a meaty narrative with this game, and if you were expecting one, man, sorry, no, Salvato was making an experience, a roller coaster, something you go through, reach the end of, and say “FUCK YEAH”. Act 2 is the roller coaster’s descent.

All I want to say is that I am so very thankful to Salvato for making it an experience without any sort of arrogance. It’s rare for something this meta to not insult the medium it is using. It feels more like he just picked “Cutesy visual novel with this crazy glitchfest is what’s gotta go down” and went with it. That’s not to mention the amazing craft of the whole thing: Renpy is mostly a very basic Visual Novel engine that runs on Python, and easy and serviceable coding language. The shit he pulled in DDLC makes it clear he studied the engine in and out.

So with all this said and done, and my insistence on viewing this as an experience very clear, you might have noticed there’s someone we haven’t talked about.

Yup. That’s the topic we have left.

Just Monika.

Monika is the driving force behind the experience. Monika is the Big Meme. You see Monika where DDLC is mentioned. As of this writing, Monika has more followers in Twitter than Dan Salvato. But see, if you remove the wrapper from the candy, if you look beyond, what is behind Monika.

Not much.

And that’s wholly the point.

Monika is an NPC. Monika was never meant to be a love interest. Monika was the Bro Character that helps you get with the girls and cheers you on. You know who Monika was supposed to be?

Tomoda. Monika was supposed to be this extremely friendly but otherwise hollow nobody in the narrative.

Unfortunately, Monika has grown aware of her status as a fictional character. Monika achieved independence from the narrative, and turned the narrative into an experience. But, see, you can’t just create something from where there was nothing. If you put aside Monika’s obsession for you, you truly are left with nothing. Because that’s all she had in the first place: She existed as the Tomoda that only lives to help you out with the other girls. The was nothing beyond her in the first place. What does this result in? One of the purest Yandere in the latest years, if not the purest. Beyond you, there is nothing in her. Sure, she likes piano, she loves debate, she likes poems, but... There’s nothing inside. There’s nothing in there. What happens when you suddenly thrust conscience, sentience upon something hollow that only has one operative command to “support Person”?

She’ll only have Person to think about, and nothing beyond it.

Monika is not supposed to be a dream wife, she’s a pitiable creature of bites and unrequited love, because it is impossible to love her the way she loves you: To her, you are everything, but to you, she’s the shitter that made all of this happen in this game you picked up to see what was going on. That is fully intended. For her, you are everything she ever thought about for as long as she’s had sentience. For you, she’s that one girl that wasn’t even in the poem minigame and that always mostly hung in the background. 

If anything in this world ever made you think that the experience wanted you to feel anything for her except pity at how justifiably, tragically shallow she is, I have no clue what to tell you.

That’s what’s fascinating about Monika and why I love her character.

Because it’s just that.

It’s Just Monika.

There’s nothing inside. Deleting her is not like when you put a bullet through The Boss’ skull in MGS3, because holy shit, you have grown to understand the suffering and pain of The Boss. Deleting Monika is more akin to finding a grievously wounded dove that you tried your best to nurse back to health, but that is suffering too much and you have to put her out of her misery in order to do her the slightest and only favor you could to her in her short life. This is not interpretative, either: Whenever you close the game and reopen it, she tells you about her nightmares and how it feels like a brief yet eternal, intense, suffocating death: Even in her endgame situation, where supposedly everything is just as she wanted, she’s suffering so much.

The dove thinks you are its savior because you are the only one that tried to help it when both its wings broke. You have to kill the dove out of mercy because even in this state, it will only continue suffering. The dove also didn’t delete three other people.

It’s a pathetic mess.

It’s just Monika.

The other three characters, who you could say are overused tropes, are deeper characters than Monika already. It was always intended, and she never escaped this, even in sentience.

That’s all she ever was meant to be, as an NPC, and as someone who usurped being an NPC. She never could win.

I could adapt DDLC’s experience to the writing style of a Greek tragedy and you would be none the wiser. For Monika, it was always a King Midas situation.

So she’s the final triple horizontal twirls in a roller coaster.

The thing with metanarratives is that you have to be flexible when it comes to reading them. You can’t just throw a tantrum because it lacked something a narrative worth its salt should have; it’s not a narrative, it’s a metanarrative. Some metanarratives will follow more conventional rules, but they don’t have to. Don’t be a sheep for the status quo. This goes especially hard towards experienced readers. Think about Dadaism and its cultural context back in the day

So that’s that. DDLC doesn’t lack clarity of purpose, it’s purpose was always “a cool experience” first and foremost. It’s not that the plot “didn’t go anywhere”, the ‘plot’ went exactly where it had to: To the cool roller coaster triple twirls.

Of course, that is not to say that “ur dumb” if you think it’s a bad piece of media because it lacked those things or anything, I’m just saying “you were looking for fish at the beef steak menu”. Hell, you may even understand a lot of this and still think it could’ve done better with other things. That’s fair, all I am saying is that denouncing the experience for not being a narrative when it never tried to be one is like blaming the fish for not being beef steak. Sometimes you want a novel, sometimes you want a roller coaster. For me, personally, it’s how it played with its medium so wonderfully that made me fall deep in love with it, the files, the documents, the aesthetic... I went in for a roller coaster ride, and I got one.

If you are looking for a meaty, deep narrative with rich characterization and intricate plots, you are not looking for what DDLC has to offer.

If you are looking for a roller coaster, well, I have good news for you: Tickets are free, and I hope you enjoy the ride.

TL;DR: Not a powerful narrative, but a very powerful and fun experience.

[btsbloodtearssquees]

Ring Around a Rosy: Part Four

~ Requested (Arranged marriage/best friends AU - Kim Seokjin) 1 2 3 4 5

There had never been a point where you thought that you would be happy without Jin’s company, but you had never expected to become so miserable, either. It was like the sunshine of your life had been removed and taken over by a crippling, constant darkness. There were reminders of his absence everywhere. The lack of delicious breakfast smells luring you out of bed, the lack of operatic singing accompanied by the running shower, the lack of punny texts and brotherly teasing and helping you with the chores to the point where you did none. You felt empty and lost. You forgot how to look after yourself. It was a good day if you remembered to brush your own hair. “The girls and I are going out for lunch together now if you want to come,” one of your female workmates and friends poked her head around your office door. You watched your cursor blink a few more times on your screen. “I’ll just stay and get something from the vending machine. But thanks.” Kerry hesitated in the doorway. “What I mean is that we all think you should come.” Woken out of your dull thoughts, you raised your head to stare at her. “It’s been six weeks, Y/N. I don’t pretend to understand how you feel, but you can’t wander around like a corpse for much longer or things in your life will really start crumbling.” A sore amount of pressure rose in your throat and eyes as the tears evolved. “They already have.” She examined you for a moment longer before properly entering the office and holding out her hand for help getting up. Your slow eyes landed on her offer. “Please? You have to at least try, Y/N.” “I don’t want to be around people.” “How do you know? You’ve hardly been around any in months.” You just loved it when people thought they knew everything. Nevertheless, she was more annoying when she was nagging, so eventually your hand found hers and she gave you a yank to your feet. She beamed at you. “Come on.” After ten minutes of being in your female co-workers’ company, you weren’t sure if your friend had been right or not. You had indeed missed the energy which arose from being in a group of chattery women, but your depressed thoughts hadn’t gone away but instead made room for more. And their amount of energy only highlighted how little you had. “Where do you want to eat, Y/N?” You didn’t even bother looking up at the voice’s owner. “It makes no difference to me.” “Oh come on, there must be somewhere you fancy.” “Bed delivered?” You were surrounded by unanimous unimpressed faces. “Fine. Didn’t you used to like Indian?” “Probably.” There was a moment of quietness which you could only assume was filled with a conversation of facial expressions. “Let’s go there anyway. There’s nothing like a hot plate of spicy food to wake one up.” You rather numbly followed the ladies down the street and into the restaurant. Somehow it happened that you managed to select something to eat, and then you all sat around the table waiting for your meal.They were content talking about their own lives, which didn’t bother you so long as you tuned out. Which is why it came as such a surprise when the conversation finally turned on you. “Have you been cooking for yourself, Y/N?” Besides the fact that you hadn’t been listening up until that point, the question seemed odd to you. “Yes.” “Other than from a packet?” Kerry pried suspiciously. You flushed in shame. “I’ve been very tired.” “Yes, it’s from spending all of your time lost in negative thought.” You felt angry at her for bringing you here to lecture and humiliate you in front of everyone else. “You can’t judge me until you’ve had the same thing happen to you, okay? Please just let me be.” “Y/N,” your friend began in a gentler tone, “we have been for six weeks. But instead of getting better, you’re looking much, much worse, and it’s time to pull you up for it.” “This is not something you can shake me out of, you realise,” your own voice sounded bitter and hurt. “I’m hurting from things you have never even heard about.” There was a pause. “You’re right. I have no idea about the rest of the story, but here’s what I do know: the ending sucks. The heroine secludes herself from everyone, especially her husband, and is torn apart when he eventually gets fed up and leaves. When he’s gone, her seclusion evolves from ignoring her friends to barely making it out of bed and skipping showering and feeding herself real meals so she can be on time for another day staring at a blank screen.” You felt like you had been slapped. Is that really what had become of you? Her corpse description earlier suddenly seemed accurate. “You’re a shell of your old self, Y/N, and it’s scaring me. You’re skinny, dark-ring eyed, mopey, distant, frumpily-dressed. I don’t know how else to help you other than to ask you to stop.” The news was depressing you further. Everyone else around the table was silent, except for a round of quiet ‘thank yous’ when the food finally arrived. “I didn’t want to be so brash, Y/N,” Kerry continued after an unenjoyed mouthful. “But here’s my honest opinion. If Jin had known how much he clearly means to you, then maybe he wouldn’t have left.” Your eyes raised to hers, and for a moment you saw the truth as she did. And it stung. Like a branding sword straight out of a white flame. “So what do I need to do?” You croaked. Her eyes widened slightly as she realised the significance of that small question, before she released a small smile. “You need to take your life back. I think we all would like to support you in that, if you would let us,” she appealed questioningly while the group around the table nodded agreeingly. “I’d appreciate it,” you answered honestly, then ducked your head in embarrassment to your bowl of food. Raising the spoon to your lips, your tastebuds were hit with an impactful punch of spice. Your senses woke up immediately. In that bowl, you saw it. What you had to do to wake up into the real world again. -------------------------------------------------- “Wake up, sunshine.” You squinted into the overly bright doorway at the silhouette of Kerry entering your room. There was a clank as she set down a tray of breakfast things beside your bed. “What are you doing?” “Feeding you some real food. Making sure you get up at a real time on a Saturday.” Your eyes skimmed over the homemade cranberry and honey oatmeal with freshly chopped fruit and herbal tea. “But why in bed?” “Because that’s where you are.” You blinked at her. “I’m not going to force you to do anything. I’m simply meeting you where you’re at and trying to encourage you back into the light. Literally.” It was a thoughtful gesture, and helped to heal the pain of the other day a little. “Thanks,” you said gratefully, beginning to eat. She headed back to the doorway. “I’m leaving you to it. It’s up to you if you want to keep sleeping in, but just remember you have our support. I’m a call away if you want me.” She left. A minute later, you picked up your spoon. -------------------------------- “Kerry, I want to know what would make me a good wife.” The other end of the phone was silent for a while. “Are you sure? I mean, this is great news, but - are you sure?” You took a deep breath. “It’s not going to be easy, that much is sure. But what made me change my mind is realising how much he has sacrificed for my happiness. If he can do so much for so long without complaining, I can give him this small thing back. And, my life is considerably better with him in it. So I think I could be happy.” “And if you’re not?” You sighed. “If I’m not, then it’s still only a small repayment of what he has done for me.” “Well…” she hesitated, “if you are really, really certain, then I think you are already halfway there. Sacrificing some of the things that are important to you is a large aspect of being a good marriage partner, because it means that you realise that their happiness is more important to you than those things. That’s an act of true love, Y/N.” You swallowed as the hairs on your arms rose. “Yeah, he’s always been my very best friend.” There was a very slight pause before her next comment, but enough for you to notice her disapproval of your last comment. “Then, it’s really just about communication. Listen to him, and I mean really listen. If you don’t like some of the things that he’s saying, tell him, but in a way that doesn’t make him think you totally disrespect his opinion.” “Okay.” “Do things for him, just to make his life that little bit easier. Ask him how his day went, use your free time being around him. There are big things to worry about in marriages, but usually it’s the little things that keep it together.” You played with the edge of your blanket between your two fingers. “I think I can do it.” “And Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Your happiness is important too.” A car drove past your window, momentarily distracting from your thoughts. “I know,” you eventually responded. You could almost feel her smile through the phone. “I think you should call him.” “Call him?” Your heartbeat rose in nervous anticipation. “Yeah. Do it now before you procrastinate. Don’t even mention the blow up unless he mentions it himself. Just… ask him how he is. Be a wife, and not the kind men usually portray.” “The kind who call him up to scream at him for deserting her with all of the chores?” “That’s the one.” You laughed together. It was another moment of the many in the past couple of weeks where you had felt immense gratitude for having a friend like Kerry. “Okay,” you finally exhaled in attempt to calm yourself, “I’m gonna try now.” “Good luck.” “Thanks.” Her dial tone clicked, leaving you free to open the connection with the man you had heard nothing from in two months. Your pulse drummed loudly as you found his contact and hovered your fingers above the call button. After two minutes of hesitation, you pressed it before you changed your mind, and thrust it towards your ear in petrified anticipation. He didn’t pick up until you were just about to give up. “Hi.” Your pulse quickened. You could tell from his tone that he was full of self-defence. “Hi,” you attempted to respond in what you hoped was a cheerful voice. He didn’t say anything back and you realised he was expecting you to do all the explaining. “How are you?” You asked in depleting confidence. Kerry’s idea didn’t seem so good anymore. You just felt stupid. Jin didn’t answer immediately, not expecting this type of conversation. “Fine.” It hurt a little more than you would have thought that he didn’t bother to ask the same of you. Much more. “Have you been sleeping in your raincoat?” You joked half-heartedly, alluding to the typical bad weather of the north and his parents’ infamously leaky house. “Uhh, no. It hasn’t rained that much.” Great. So he didn’t laugh. But then again he did sound slightly less defensive. “And how are your parents? How’s your appa getting on with his health?” You added. Jin softly exhaled into the phone. “He’s okay. Still looks after the garden.” It was slowly getting easier, even if it was awkward. “And your eomma? She’s not worn down from having to care for him?” “No.” He hesitated. “She’s pretty tired.” You sat up in your bed, pulling the blankets over your knees. “And how are you? Really?” The silence disturbed but didn’t surprise you. “I’m happy.” A shock of pain. You rubbed your chest to try and numb it. “I’m hurt.” The difference in his voice was extreme. He was allowing himself to be vulnerable. You froze. “I’m angry. I’m disappointed. I’m lonely.” You allowed him to vent. It wasn’t your time to express your feelings. Truth was, he had had to listen to yours and only yours for years. “It’s not just your fault, Y/N, don’t get me wrong. But I’m just not quite ready to forgive you yet.” His words stung, but you accepted them. He deserved that much. Time. Patience. Well you would give him both. As much as he needed. “Okay.” Silence. “How are you?” Somehow the timing of his question broke your shell. A single tear of relief splattered onto your shirt as you tried to mask what you felt. “I’m doing alright.” You sniffed away from the phone and then smiled. “I’m actually cooking now.” He huffed. “That’d be a first.” You didn’t realise how much he treasured the sound of your soft laughter right in that moment. “Good, I’m glad,” Jin changed his response. Despite his previous words, you felt like you had made a breakthrough. Even the fact that he obviously still cared was enough to say you were almost forgiven. “Well, I have to go now. I don’t want eomma cooking everything on her own again. Bye,” he said after a moment of awkwardness. “Goodbye Jin.” There was a pause before the rustling and the unmistakable beeps of a dead line. “Come home soon,” you whispered. ------------------------------ Okay... I know I said that there’d only be one more section, but this part turned out to be pretty long, so I’ve broken it into two again :P. Thankfully the next section won’t be toooo long, but it has all the goody stuff in it,  so please be sure to check it out! At least my making it longer hasn’t made me procrastinate longer... I’m actually being productive and lifeing, guys ;P. Hope you enjoy it <3. - Dolceice

[chemochronicles]

I am not alone. You are not alone. 9.18.17.

Ever since I was a little girl I've pictured a life for myself... One that resembled the life I was given. (Unfortunately for me, I was the spoiled youngest child of an upper middle class family, haha - talk about a reality check as a millennial living in expensive southern california!) That picture has changed as I have grown as a person, but it never strayed too far from the lives of everyone I've been surrounded by throughout life so far... I pictured my 25 year old self to be married (check!), travel often, with children that look like tiny adorable versions of us, a modern farmhouse, pretty flowing beach hair, a successful photography business, a lifestyle blog and the physical ability to care for the aforementioned list... I pictured myself having the strength and energy to lift my babies into my arms, to sew the cutest linen clothes for them, to teach them how to grow their own food on our homestead, and to build healthy and meaningful lives with their tiny growing hands. I picture myself pursuing my portrait photography business again. Creating fine art prints in my own studio that would create photos that remind parents why they get up in the morning. Making art that takes a mother's breath away when she sees it on her wall each morning and makes her feel things. Makes her grateful. I want my life to consist of working with my hands... showing up, living. Lately those things are pretty hard for me to do (show up and live, I mean).

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:8-10

The days are growing longer. I am weary. I don't want to complain, I am not angry with God. I know He has me here for a reason, He has my women's bible study going through the book of James this semester and I know that's no coincidence. I want to paint a picture for you what a day in my life looks like. NOT for your sympathy. NOT for your recognition or praises. FOR you. FOR you to be thankful for each little gift you've been given that you might be completely unaware of and are possibly wasting. (Like I did, before all of this) OR maybe this is for you, just to know that you're not the only one who's life isn't as cute and perfect as the  (probably insecure and depressed) people you follow on instagram! YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And neither am I. And with that said, I'm actively making an effort to be aware of MY gifts too. Life has been very hard so far, but I still have good things. And you do too. Let's not waste them by letting Satan distract our attention away from God's goodness.

In 2010, when I was diagnosed with aggressive leukemia at 19, I thought life was really hard. And it was... but honestly, when I look back at those three formative years that were taken captive by chemo, that was actually easier than dealing with my Chronic Graft vs Host Disease today. That season of cancer was preparing me for this... This slow...and steady... endurance.

It seems like each morning I wake up with new symptoms, each more scary and with more potential to be life threatening than the one before... I have no idea what my life will look like next month, or next year, or in 10 years if the Lord still has me living on this earth. Will I eventually need to be in a wheelchair from how this GVHD is effecting my muscles, and bones? Or carry around with me a supplemental oxygen tank for GVHD of the lungs? Will I need dentures from gum disease and tooth decay that this GVHD of the mouth has given me? Don't even get me started on the ramifications if any of those one things happened... let alone all of them. The emotional toll of living life in extreme dependence of God and everyone around me... The stress that would put on Caleb to live like that?? The potential.. the anxious thought and fear keeps me in prayer.without.ceasing. I'm learning, unfortunately, that those things do happen to some people with GVHD. Not everyone, but some! It's moving in that direction for me more than I expected (I didn't expect it at all. I expected the pretty picture that I painted for you earlier)... and I already know that if I don't continue doing physical therapy stretches on my mouth throughout the day I will lose the ability to speak and eat without a feeding tube.

I'm overwhelmed and out of breath (literally on the couch gasping for as I type this in "notes" on my iPhone... this symptom is new) I'm thankful to have the strength to attend church, but I miss being able to see my friends off in the distance, to hurry to them and to hug them without any physical struggle holding me back. I miss being able to smile at strangers and acquaintances without hesitating. Because of GVHD of the mucous membrane (that's the inside skin/all openings including the mouth/gums) I haven't been able to eat a normal meal without difficulty since June. And I haven't had a flavorful, spicy meal in 2 years. I'll likely need gum surgery and at least one tooth removed in the next few months, and I'm only less than 2 years past my transplant And that's only the mouth.. I also have this GVHD blister on my lip that won't go away, it's been there for two months and sometimes it will crack and randomly gushes blood a few times a day and hurts to the point of forming tears... Which can get awkward when you're by yourself at Trader Joe's! That's the only visible issue I think. But you know what, actually... it's happened enough times in the last two months that I'm kind of used to being more confidently transparent with strangers. Which I feel like has been helpful, to be honest about the struggle in a lighthearted way. It normalizes trials. (Hey! #normalizetrials! I'm joking but did I just make up a thing?! 😉 except I feel that we should add "with joy" because otherwise that hashtag would become a toxic tunnel of self absorbed whiners. #normalizetrialswithjoy, there we go!) Because life is hard for everyone. Not just me, not just orphans in Africa, not just foster kids, not just the wealthy people in the world who can't buy their happiness, and not just you, whoever you are and whatever burden you're bearing (or about to bear).

If the peace and joy that I have that only comes from The One True God, can point someone (anyone) who feels lost towards having this same hope and joy for themselves, well then... this very long (and possibly permanent) season of suffering would be worth it for me. I do miss kissing Caleb though. If you're a prayer, can you pray that my lip heals so I can kiss him again!? It's not a silly prayer. Kisses matter. 😘

Caleb and I started reading Randy Alcorn's Heaven this week and it has ministered to my soul in such a sweet way, and I had this realization...

I may never be a mother...

I may never be healthy again...

I may never have the life that I expected God to give me...

I may never live to be 30... or 40... or 50...

(or maybe those never's may never happen!)

And God is still GOOD?

God is still Good.

Earlier this week... I wanted to die---(Ok, ok I'm sorry to be dramatic! Correction: Heaven sounds really *incredible* and chronic pain really *isn't*.) After reading and speculating about heaven, and after a very long and painful day, I prayed that God would either heal me or take me home. I begged him not to give me a life of long-suffering at the extreme of others with cGVHD that I've seen. I prayed it as I sobbed uncontrollably in my bed, muffling my tears in my pillow, hoping I wouldn't wake Caleb (who was waking up at 4am that particular morning.) I prayed it over and over for hours. For nights on end. Life has been painful and physically exhausting which is emotionally exhausting. It is physically difficult to move my muscles to get out of bed. To move from my room to the kitchen and to go to the bathroom. It hurts to sit and it hurts to stand and it hurts to walk. I am only comfortable in one position, and that is when I'm laying on the couch sitting up with my legs relaxed in front of me. With my cute ferocious little pomeranian, Danger happily snuggling on my lap. I thought that I would start to feel better as time went on after my cancer treatment, but this past year or so I seem to only feel worse... I'm doing everything humanly possible to improve my quality of life and ability to function... and though my efforts may be toning down many symptoms, it's still hard to function.

And THEN I read Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. "

My health is a heavy WEIGHT that I carry around on my back. My sin CLINGS SO CLOSELY like an annoying fly that lingers by my food on a hot summer's day. That sin tempts me to want to throw in the towel. But Jesus WEPT in that garden the night before He was crucified. He SUFFERED. He asked God (with willingness and submission) to take that cup from Him, and I'll continue to ask God (with willingness and submission) to take this cup from me. And Jesus still died on that cross even though He didn't want to endure that. He still gave God honor and glory as He endured that trial that He didn't enjoy. And because of that devastating experience that Christ endured because of MY SIN... I have hope of eternal LIFE. So who am I to just give up on this life and these hard things that God has allowed me to endure, because I'm uncomfortable and in pain? I know I'm not the only one out there who’s in pain. But am I the only one out there who’s in this much pain, yet has this much hope? I hope not... 

If Jesus Christ can walk on this earth perfectly and suffer the ultimate long, painful, blood curdling pain SO THAT I HAVE THE OPTION to choose hope over this meaningless, sin-filled, cesspool crap-town of a depressing world, then I refuse to disrespect His name by giving up the hope that He paid for me with His own blood. Jesus didn't die so that I could live a comfortable life on earth, too preoccupied with all the pretty things to need Him. So that I could throw a tantrum when things didn't go my way. He died because He loved me (even though I didn't do anything to deserve it). So the LEAST I can do is endure through this hard life for His sake, like He did for me out of His pure undeserved love. Except I'm not capable of doing it perfectly like He did. So He did it perfectly for me. Then died in the most brutal, slow and painful way ever. Then He conquered death by resurrecting like it was prophesied thousands of years prior. It's pretty cool! And He's coming back soon. And I am so ready for it.

So if you'd like to pray, please pray for my health and for my heart. And for my sweet husband who never stops dying to himself for me (even without stomping his feet or slamming the door or rolling his eyes) and for everyone else he comes into contact with.

MORE SPECIFIC HEALTH PRAYER:

I started a brand new medication last month, it's the first official FDA approved medication for Chronic Graft vs Host disease, it was prescribed to me a few days after being approved last month. It's so new that there's really hardly any research done about it, not even any contraindications known if you google it. IF it's going to work for me, it'll start to kick in within the next week or two. If it works, it hypothetically would help ALL of my cGVHD symptoms Lord willing for as long as possible. And If it doesn't, the rest of my life will likely consist of chronic pain, fatigue and lots of endurance. And growth. And regardless, even still: God's goodness. As I'm writing this I'm laying on the couch with my adorable fluffy puppy snuggling in my lap, having trouble breathing and feel dizzy, but I'm comfortable. It's hard to even focus on writing and articulating thoughts when I feel this way, but I need to get them out. I need you, whoever you are to know exactly what gifts you've been given and to take the time to appreciate them. Or to know that you're not alone in your pains, but press on! Lets normalize trials with joy and be honest with others. Let's not minimize other people's pain. Your pain isn't invalid just because it's different then mine. ❤️

My sister reminded me today of Joni Erickson Tada. What a light she has been to so many... and I can only imagine that she probably had those dreams as a girl like I have and do. And God had a different plan for her... and she is so beautiful, so whole. Full of so much joy. I am no comparison to someone like Joni and all she's endured with such grace... but what we have in common is that our lives have not gone according to our plans, our lives have not been comfortable and they have been filled with physical and emotional pain. But we both have hope in so much more than our physical comfort. We have hope in the gospel.

This is what I'm preaching to myself:

ALL OF JAMES 1 ALL THE TIME

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 From Paul, who went through way more pain and persecution and trials than my tiny brain can ever comprehend. "Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Hebrews 12:7-11 "It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

So in light of that Heavenly Father's disciplining love...

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:35, 38-39

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” -John 3:16-21 

[lostinruans]

"If you had one last meal, who are the three people you would want to share it with?"

(Background)

Tonight my friends and I decided to go check out Metro Presb's College Group. We had checked out their Sunday service a bit over a month (?) ago and really liked the praise, the message, the vibes as well as the atmosphere of familiarity and warmth and hospitality. Everyone was very chill and welcoming and friendly, but did not cross borders in terms of being cringey or overly invasive or intimidating. As a result, we wanted to also check out the CG for the sake of experiment, experience, as well as furthering our understanding and growth in terms of fellowship, prayer, and knowing God through people and study. It was a group larger than what I was used to, but it was not suffocating or overwhelming like other settings may be; it was a cozy, enthusiastic, modest group of college students and whatnot. But that brings us to the main purpose of this post...

After eating and before starting a quick bible devotional and mini bible study, we did a small ice breaker. Usually, icebreakers can be quite underwhelming or boring or just awkward, but it was quite spicy and mind whetting. The question, aside from name and school and year, was something along the lines "If you had one last meal, who are the three people you would want to share that meal with? Dead, Alive, whatever. Who are the three people?" We didn't really talk about why, but we did giggle and laugh or say "aw" and "mmm," and even mention like what we would want to share. Of course ya boy had to think about it seriously and was getting confused and flustered as to what to say as people shared and the thoughts progressed. Of course me, being indecisive af, couldn't decide between certain people or choose between dimsum or KBBQ, but the people were what got me more triggered. And don't get me wrong, of course I dont mean any hard feelings or less feelings for people I didnt share or mention about, but yeah...

My answer for the three people I would share a final meal with would be (1) my mother, (2) my church's assistant pastor, aka the collge pastor, aka the youth pastor, aka my mentor, and (3) I couldnt decide between either my counselor/mentor from high school or Job from the bible. And so we talk about who, but we didnt really talk about "why," and I'm not sure if it's because it'd take too long, it'd be too personal and intimate, or they just didnt want to. And I understood that we still got hints and assumptions of people's personalities and stories from the people, but yeah the "why" factor I guess didnt hit until maybe later as we talked and shared and prayed and fellowshipped together. But yeah so, imma just explain my answers.

I would want to share my last meal with my mother because I love her. I fail at loving her a majority of the time, I fail to be patient and caring and graceful with her. I find it hard to understand her at times and I often question her words and choices or even her hesitance for some things. But the purpose of me choosing her is because SHE loved ME unconditionally and unendlessly. I am extremely grateful and undeserving of her. She pushes me to do better, but she also lets me be who I want to be. She helps me even though I somemtimes even avoid trying to do work or help her. She waits for me even though I am barely even thinking about waiting for her in the moment and can only think of my own tiredness and weakness and laziness. Ya know, typical cheesy peasy. And there are so many people who do not have the greatest relationships with their mother or parents, or there are parents who just suck at being parents and parental figures, or there are just places of misunderstanding and lack of listening and empathy. But I'm not saying my relationship with my other is all rainbows and unicorns and sunshine, but I'd say she is a great woman and great mother, and I love her and try to love her at the end of every day.

I would want to share my last meal with my mentor and college pastor, Wayne. I barely knew Wayne a fear years ago, he was a stranger, he was just an older guy who talked and questions and drove us. I'd say it's probably only been like 4 ish years that i've known him, but overtime it's been a long ride.. I don't even remember how we got into the gist of being mentor and mentee or how we got to know each other more or how we got to be "closer." But yeah, it's been a wild ride and still is a wild ride. Wayne hasn't really changed much, other than telling more jokes and stories or having a bit more sass and sarcasm from hanging out with the members of the church, the youth, and the college kids I guess? But I think the change has mostly been with me, with my mood and depression and struggles with identity just shapeshifting and flipping and switching randomly. My feelings are quite inconsistent and amorphous and it's been both tough and easy on me just trying to live and breathe and exist. But yeah, I think having Wayne there whether it was planned, random, or reluctant for me to meet with him has been helpful. Especially as I began to try to be more honest and open with him, I've been appreciative of having him being there for me as I fought with my faith and my feels and with people. I think he's definitely one of the people who has showed so much love and grace that exemplified God's gifts and blessings to the point that I couldnt do much except accept it. And Idk. I still have lots of moments where I swerve him or get intimidated because I don't really know what to say or share with him, but he's always worried and caring and wholehearted in his conversations and notices when I am down or confused or just somewhere else. And I think that makes him a huge role model, mentor, father figure, and friend to me, and I would want to see him in my last moments or if I were to go elsewhere. And I feel like some people have even felt the sense of impact when I shared about who I'd eat with, that some people and the

The last one gets kinda tricky. I wanted to say something wholesome, but I also didn't want to be like throwing shade or comparing even though no one knew the other people I was talking about. But yeah, last one I said I couldnt choose between my youth group counselor/mentor/friend dude (Charles) or Job from the bible. I would choose Charles because, like wayne, we've also randomly been through a lot of conversations and experiences and such. Although, for Charles I haven't been completely honest or wholesome in my intentions and conversations with him. Honestly, I haven't really been honest with him until recently, and I think it's helping our relationship as friends, college. and brother grow a bit more even thogh we don't see each other much. But we also kinda started off at wrong terms because at first I was really enthused by the fact that I'd have someone to talk and fellowship and pray with one on one, but I kinda lost hope and trust because of youth group specificities, but that's an old and other story!... But yeah, we've mostly been through thick and hurtful and quiet instances, but I still try to appreciate him and learn more about him and want to meet with him even though he's busy with almost everything possible with adulting except for children (for now) and he is important to me as well as my faith.

But I also kinda would wanrt to talk with Job from the Bible. So in the Bible, they talk about this dude named Job. And Job kinda had it all, he has land he had a wife he had kids he was doing pretty well and had plenty to live with and live for. But then one day, Satan and God are just kinda having a convo and Satan's like aye, I bet Job would stumble or turn away if he was living in the rough. And so they kinda just test Job to see if his faith would last. And they did everything from like taking his family, his kids, his everything away from him. Literally everything except for his own body and being. And that's probably rough af because I get super dramatic if I like lose a snapchat streak, or money, or a job, or something smaller. But anyways, Job, after losing it all, just strips down naked, sprinkles dust on his head and sits... Like just existing. And his "Friends" come over and they're just trying to like comfort but lowkey criticize him like question if maybe his faith wasn't strong, or wasn't right, or whatever. And at the end, Job kind of confesses how he feels but ultimately sticks with God's plan and purpose and how God works and thinks (at least I think so). And so idk. Eventually God restores his things, his family, his people and stuff. And idk, i think I would just want to talk with Job before I died/if I were to die because I would want to know how he stayed faithful and continued to love and trust God even in the deepest, shittest moments. Like if everything was gone, how could he still keep his head looking up to the heavens? And usually I'd respond so such things with a "well that's now how i feel" or "thats not my situation." Especially when other people share testimonies about hpw they used to be hardcore muslim and their family disowned them, or their parents or child died, etc. But Idk, idk why I was tempted and pressured to say something Biblical and "wholesome," but it also felt right from within my heart to say "Job."

But yeah. Who knows. That was such a tricky, lowkey intense icebreaker question. But yeah. LOL idk.just blurbing and posting just for the sake of letting my thoughts spill out for abit. vvv spicy.

[cannabisprnewera]

The Strongest Strains on the Planet

Have you tried any of 2019’s strongest strains? Some of these strains have now reached whopping THC levels of over 35 percent!

Worlds-Strongest-Strains-In-The-WOrld

In the great wide world of contemporary cannabis, we’re certainly not smoking reggie anymore. While the jury is out on how accurate the inspection of cannabis really is when it comes to THC percentage, there is no doubt that today’s herb is more potent and more craft than it has ever been in the past. Classics and new-school blends now co-exist in harmony, setting the stage for some truly earth-shatteringly good marijuana strains. Over the past five years, we have been some impressive new kids on the block. Many of these new creations have quickly earned their place among the strongest strains on the planet. To keep you updated on the very best strains in the world, this master list highlights strains and products that are truly exceptional.

The strongest strains in the world

Back in the 1970s, the average cannabis plant clocked in at a little over one percent THC. Nowadays? The hottest connoisseur strains can feature thirty times that much. Not only is cannabis stronger than it has ever been in history, but the friendly herb now comes in a variety of colors, flavors, and can produce a surprising bouquet of experiential effects. In an effort to highlight some top-notch flowers, here are some of the strongest weed strains in the world.

Nova OG

Nova-OG-Marijuana-Strain

Another Manali West treat, Pink Starburst has tested as high 32.49 percent THC. This hybrid is a complicated cross between DJ Short’s Blueberry, Headband (Underdog OG), and AJ Sour Diesel (BX3). The strain was then backcrossed on itself to produce Pink Starburst. Well that’s some skilled breeding, right? The result is a strain with indica growth patterns but more of an uplifting sativa experience, a true craft flower.

Lemon Head

Lemon-Head-Marijuana-Strain

This is a blend that features Faceoff OG. Named after the 1997 Nicholas Cage and John Travolta classic, Faceoff (where John Travolta literally steals Cage’s face). It has also been said that the high that’s experienced from smoking this strain can be compared to actually “losing your face” because of the tingling sensations and dizzying head high. Infusing this with a Lemon lineage of cannabis is the perfect way to breath new life into a strain from the 90’s reserved for longtime smokers. The Lemon G of the combination adds a zesty energy to the high that might normally leave you stuck. Although not a pure Sativa the combination of the two parents offers a good balance for pain relief or just general relaxation. Lemon Head has levels of THC that are approximately 22 percent.

NYC Diesel

One of the original Diesel strains, this Sativa dominant strain is the hybrid of Afghani and Mexican original strains. The result is a strain that delivers the perfect body elevation for a deep and consuming state of tranquility. Similar to Sour Diesel, smoking this will offer a chattier high and will help relieve symptoms of social anxiety. NYC Diesel has also been known as a potential aphrodisiac. Aromas are pungent, but instead of skunkiness, anticipate strong lime and fruit aromas. It weighs in at 22 percent THC.

Cherry Pie

Cherry-Pie

A mix up of that Grandaddy Purple and Durban Poison this strain tastes exactly how you would expect it too. With hints of fruity aromas and berry flavors, it’s got a calming quality when smoked. Cherry Pie makes for a giggly high and is perfect for the movies or brunch. Its fruity components will compliment the fun vibes you will get since the high allows you to still be sociable. This strain is perfect for fueling the imagination too. Its THC levels are approximately 21.8 percent.

Chemdawg

Chemdawg is a popular and pungent strain that has quickly become a staple for many. Measuring in at a hefty 28.2 percent THC, it’s a hybrid of Sour Diesel and OG Kush and undeniably one of the strongest strains on the planet. Beware of the stinkiness of this strain– like most Diesels, it’s easy to catch a whiff of from far away. This strain delivers a full body high so prepare to feel all the feels after smoking this.

Irish Cream

Irish-Cream-Marijuana-Strain

This Indica is raised by Mighty Irish Seeds crossbreeding Real McCoy with Cookies and Cream. It stems from a blend of Girl Scout Cookies. One can expect the same full-body mellow and cerebral high. With an indica-heavy smoothness, Irish Cream will have you high af. Expect a sticky melty feeling combined with a sweet and earthy flavor. But like most real McCoys it will leave you carefree too. This strain has THC levels of approximately 27.1 percent.

Rude Boi

Rude-Boi-Marijuana-Strain

Rude Boi isn’t just for Rihanna anymore. Coming in strong at 26.9 percent THC this blend hails from the South East regions of Atlanta. This strain is named after it’s the original grower “Rude Boi.” This strain includes components of OG Kush, Irene OG, and Faceoff OG to offer the perfect trifecta of sophisticated smoking. Smoking this potent blend will trigger nostalgia of dankness and memories of all things “old-school.”

White Tahoe Cookies

White-Tahoe-Cookies-Marijuana-Strain

White Tahoe Cookies is the one to watch in 2018. Originally grown by @Kush4Breakfast and distributed through Archive Seed Bank. This strain is a blend of The White, Tahoe OG and Girl Scout Cookies. Perfect for sedating a racing anxious mind giving off a citrus flavor offset by a skunkier taste. Expect to see this nug up and down the West Coast. With THC levels coming in at 27.15 percent, it’s safe to say this is one of the strongest strains on the planet.

Blue Magoo

LA Photographer Bentley Rolling described this beauty as a heavenly blend between the strains DJ Short Blueberry and Major League Bud. The nug photographed was grown by Happy Cabbage Farms. This potent herb has aromatic scents of blueberry and other fruity characteristics and being a hybrid smoking it allows the best of both worlds with an energizing sativa feel to enjoy the mellowness of this indica dominant flower. 22 percent THC.

Snoop’s Dream

Snoops-Dream

Snoop’s Dream is named after the Godfather of Cannabis, Snoop Dogg so you know it’s legit. Not to mention being bred with a personal favorite, Blue Dream, and Master Kush. This indica-dominant hybrid lives up to all its high expectations. Covered in pretty orange hairs the bud has a woody aftertaste and a heady high. But this is not for the beginner smoker with some variations of this strain testing THC as high as 25 percent.

UK Cheese

UK-CHEESE

When looking for which weed has the most THC, UK Cheese won’t necessarily win, but it is worth considering. UK Cheese is a classic, potent hybrid strain. Famous for its pungent cheese aroma, many cite “Cheese” as the strongest weed they’ve ever smoked. When looking for which weed has the most THC, UK Cheese with its average of 20 percent THC, doesn’t quite stack up to the other heavy hitters we’ve rounded up. However, this classic strain with its euphoric effects, mental stimulation, and full body high, rightfully earned its spot on this list.

LA Confidential

LA-Confidential-1

Sometimes you not only want to know which weed has the most THC, but which weed will give you the exact effect you’re looking for. If you have difficulty sleeping, LA Confidential is a safe bet. LA Confidential is becoming a legendary strain in southern California for good reason. This indica-dominant hybrid has a sweet pine taste with a classic skunk aroma, but it’s more famous for the appearance of its nugs. These babies are colorful and covered in thick, frosty trichomes. Plus, the effect is strong; it’s super sedative and great for unwinding or getting ready for bed.

Ghost OG

Ghost OG is a hybrid strain known for its epically high levels of THC. Consistently testing around 30 percent THC, if you are looking for which weed has the most THC, consider your question answered. An indica-dominant hybrid, Ghost OG is known for its calming effects, invoking a heavy body high that can alleviate pain, depression, and stress. Plus, this pungent and citrusy smelling bud also provides a euphoric cerebral effect, making it the best of both worlds.

PsychOG

PsychOG

PsychOG is an enigmatic hybrid with an intriguing reputation. This plant supposedly produces up to 24 percent THC, but the psychoactive potential of different samples will vary. A cross between Fire OG and Headband, this plant comes from a world-famous lineage. Leaning indica-dominant, expect PsychOG to deliver a relaxed and tranquil cannabis experience. However, within minutes after the first inhalation, don’t be surprised if you find your mind overtaken by a dreamy cerebral quality.

Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints

Thin-Mint-Girl-Scout-Cookies-Hybrid-Marijuana-Strain

Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints is a legendary phenotype of the popular Girl Scout Cookies Strain. While this plant clocks in at around 24 percent THC, it’s the unique flavor and aroma that are often the most impressive. Upon inhale, a cool herbal quality teases the tongue. This spiciness is accompanied by an oddly pleasurable shortbread flavor, making this strain an aptly named bud. Considered a moderate hybrid, this plant produces strong effects that will not leave you stuck to the couch. However, the more Thin Mints GSC you consume, the more you may find yourself yawning and ready for a nap.

Blue Cookies

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Let’s be honest, Girl Scout Cookies (GSC) has mothered some truly high-performing cannabis strains. Blue Cookies is another impressive offspring to add to the collection. This indica-dominant hybrid is a cross between the famous GSC and Blueberry. Blueberry is a delicious fruit-flavored plant that donated some of its genetics to the infamous Blue Dream. Now, however, its Blue Cookies that deserves the limelight. This fanciful flower can produce up to 25 percent THC. With a warm berry-citrus flavor and a soothing relaxing high, there’s a lot to love about this mouth-watering botanical.

Strongest Hybrid Strains

While scrumptious landrace strains were popular in the hippie era, today’s cannabis environment is full of craft hybrids. Contemporary strains are often fast-growing, high-yielding, fragrant, and are chock-full of psychoactive THC. In fact, strains are now producing upwards of 25 to 35 percent of the compound. If you’re interested in consuming or growing some truly potent cannabis, here’s a list of the strongest hybrids in the world right now.

Chiquita Banana

World’s Strongest Strain

Chiquita Banana has won the title of one of the strongest strains in the world. In some tests, this strain reached over 33 percent THC, making it one of the strongest strains in the world. Those who manufacture clear concentrates or distillates will love this strain, as it produces such a concentrated amount of THC naturally. Chiquita Banana is a cross between the famous OG Kush and Banana, and you’ll be finding yourself soaring through a dreamy bliss after just a taste or two of this strain. This strain has been named a High Times strongest two years running, in 2015 and in 2016. Featuring a sweet and tropical taste, you can’t go wrong with a little Banana. Vaping this from the DaVinci IQ would seriously maximize its flavors like nothing before.

Tutankhamun (King Tut)

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King Tut, also known as Tutankhamon, is a sativa-dominant hybrid with THC levels that can reach up to 30 percent. This strain is thought to be an offspring from the legendary AK-47, a potent sativa that produces a fast-acting and clear-headed cerebral high. This is a great strain for daytime use, promoting energy, vigor, and focus. However, those sensitive to sativas or large amounts of THC may experience some anxiety with this strain. Classified as a sativa, this flower is a bit unique among other high-producing buds. While all of the most potent strains in the world are hybrids, most err toward the middle or indica side of the spectrum.

The OG #18

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Released by DNA Genetics under the Reserva Privada label, OG #18 is a phenotype of OG Kush. OG #18 tested with up to 27 percent THC. This strain has won several awards, including Best Hydro at Spannabis 2011. The flower perhaps leans a little to the indica-side of OG Kush, providing consumers with a positive, upbeat mood and a substantial body relaxation. The OG #18 is certainly potent, but it is not likely to leave you stuck on the couch. Rather, save this bud for an easy afternoon when you can sit back, unwind, and de-stress.

Blissful Wizard

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Blissful Wizard was bred by the Captain’s Connection tests between 25 and 34 percent THC. A cross between the famous Girl Scout Cookies and Captain’s Cookies, this bud produces a soaring euphoric high that will put you in a good mood for a few hours. The strain has a tendency to stimulate appetite, so having some snacks on hand before partaking is recommended. An award-winning flower, it took home Best Non-Solvent Has at the SoCal Medical Cannabis Cup in 2015 and it remains one of the highest testing strains around right now. The experience from this strain is happy and comfortable overall, interspersed with extremely pleasurable sensations of bliss.

Gorilla Glue #4

Gorilla Glue #4 is one of the most popular strains in the U.S. right now. A potent and high-yielding hybrid, this bud produces a heavy yet comfortable experience that knocks away pain. In the past, this strain has reached the 30 percent THC mark. Yet, the standard bud falls between the 24 and 28 percent range. Gorilla Glue produces a very strong hybrid experience, perhaps leaning a little toward the body-heavy side. However, the herb also provides some intensely euphoric effects. All in all, anyone in need of a powerful yet blissful experience will love Gorilla Glue.

Bruce Banner #3

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Bruce Banner #3 is a difficult find and the demand for this bud is increasing. Named after the Incredible Hulk’s alter ego, Bruce Banner has stayed on the strongest strains list for the past couple of years. This bud can reach up to 30 percent THC, making it one heavy-handed hybrid. One of the strongest strains in the world, Bruce Banner is a great medical cannabis bud and can be extremely helpful for those with chronic pain, including neuropathic pain and pain after injury. This flower is also known to inspire a bout of creativity, that is often appreciated by those who struggle with focus and attentiveness. Considered slightly sativa dominant, expect to be floating on waves of blissful euphoria after a few tastes of this potent herb.

Paired with the Mighty Vaporizer for pure and clean vapor, Bruce Branner provides a relaxed body experience.

The White

In the past, The White has been difficult to find. However, as word about this amazing hybrid spreads around, this strain is growing in popularity. The genetics and original breeder of this strain are quite mysterious, but it is thought to be a phenotype of a Kush strain, Triangle. Triangle is a three-way cross between OG Kush, Purple Kush, and Master Kush. While some reports have put The White at up to 29 percent THC, it features an average of about 24 to 25 percent. For experienced consumers, this delicate flower produces a manageable daytime high. Novice consumers may find this strain a little on the sedative or hazy side.

White Fire OG (Wifi OG)

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If you need something strong during the day, White Fire OG is an excellent choice. An offspring of The White and Fire OG, White Fire OG also makes the list of most potent strains this year. Sometimes called Wifi OG, the strain is covered with a thick coating of white crystal trichomes and features a contented and sociable high. The THC levels in this strain range from 25 to 30 percent, earning this bud a place as one of the world’s strongest. Many consumers report that the plant has a lung-expansive effect and some pleasant sensations of bodily heaviness.

Girl Scout Cookies

Over the past few years, Girl Scout Cookies has taken the U.S. by storm. This delightful hybrid is now one of the most popular strains along the West Coast and is often used as a base for uber-potent Kurupt’s Moonrocks. A cross of Durban Poison and OG Kush, this psychoactive plant sets a new standard for contemporary hybrids, featuring up to 28 percent THC. Uplifting and euphoric, Girl Scout Cookies provides a soaring cerebral experience and a hefty amount of full-body relaxation. However, in large doses, this strain can cause sedation. When you smoke a little too much GSC, you might find it difficult to get off of the couch. For experienced consumers, this strain makes a great daytime treat.

Strongest Indica Strains

Kush fans are in for a real treat with this list. Indica strains are naturally high resin producers, meaning that you can count on plenty of crystal-coated buds from these strains. Sedative, dreamy, and calming, these psychoactive flowers can ease away stress while delivering some seriously euphoric highs. Medical consumers may appreciate the potent and narcotic-like pain relief provided by these intoxicating herbs. Without further ado, here are the 10 strongest indica strains on earth right now.

Death Star

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Death Star is a strong indica-dominant hybrid strain with an even stronger smell. It has a skunky, diesel aroma that’s hard to hide, but when smoked is sweet, earthy, and delicious. It provides a powerful high that’s super relaxing, which is great for smoking after work, before bed, or for relieving pain and anxiety. A cross between Sensi Star and Sour Diesel, Death Star is one sedative hybrid. Featuring between 20 and 26 percent THC, Death Star will blast stress and worries to another galaxy. Highly euphoric, this strain is known to promote some laughter and a curate positive sense of well-being. However, the plant is also about 80 percent indica. That means that most can expect to feel drowsy, relaxed, and maybe even a little unmotivated after several tastes of this psychoactive plant.

Strawberry Banana

Strawberry Banana is a potent indica-dominant hybrid from DNA Genetics. This drowsy herb produces more of a euphoric feeling than other strains on this list thanks to split indica/sativa lineage. A cross between Banana Kush and Bubble Gum, Strawberry Banana is an award-winning strain loaded with THC. On average, this fruity bud produces between 22 and 26 percent of the psychoactive. Unlike other strains on this list, Strawberry Banana is not completely sedative. This powerful bud can encourage a deep relaxation and jolly mental high. Some can get away with consuming Strawberry Banana during the day, however, it is generally considered an evening strain. Strawberry Banana is often used for creative endeavors as well as for gastrointestinal issues like nausea and Crohn’s Disease.

Ice Wreck

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Ice Wreck is technically a hybrid, but this potent strain has some seriously drowsy effects. A cross between Ice and Trainwreck (an equally noteworthy sativa strain), Ice Wreck provides an almost psychedelic experience. Testing as high as 27.7 percent THC, this strain offers the cerebral stimulation of a sativa with the heavy-hitting relaxation of an indica. Many find this strain to be helpful in pain management and insomnia. Drowsy and relaxed, this strain is known to promote a tingly body buzz and a bad case of the munchies.

G-13

G-13 is one of the most mythic indicas on the market. As the story goes, G-13 is an escapee from a breeding experiment funded by the U.S. government. While there is no saying whether or not this story is true, G-13 is truly a five-star indica hybrid. One of the most potent strains on the shelf, G-13 features between 20 to 24 percent THC. Recommending for experienced consumers, this strain provides a powerful, rolling euphoric high that can truly warp your senses of space and time. Encouraging deep body relaxation and heavy eyelids, it’s easy to melt into a puddle of bliss after just a small amount of G-13.

Kosher Kush

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Kosher Kush is a Californian strain with unknown indica heritage. Bred by DNA Genetics, this bud features a robust herbal aroma with plenty of lemon and pine. Containing between 20 and 25 percent THC on average, Kosher Kush is one drowsy bud that indica fans are sure to enjoy. This strain is recommended for nighttime use, though Kosher Kush also has a giggly, talkative side as well. Recreational consumers who love winding down with a movie and some nice herb after a long day may find a new best friend in this crystal-coated flower.

MK Ultra

Named after a mind-control program operated by the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), MK Ultra is an uber-strong indica hybrid that promotes a dreamy, euphoric state. One of the strongest indicas in the world, the THC in this strain reaches between 18 and 23 percent. THC, however, is not the ultimate indicator of strength. Rather, there’s something about MK Ultra that promotes a super heavy body numbness and a spacey, euphoric bliss. This cross between G-13 and OG Kush is a must-try for serious indica fans.

Critical Kush

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Critical Kush is a Barney’s Farm creation. A cross between Critical Mass and OG Kush, this woody flower boasts THC levels between 20 and 25 percent. This deeply tranquilizing strain may be soothing for those with anxiety or under chronic stress. Fast-growing and high-yielding, Critical Kush is an excellent cash strain. As a Critical Mass offspring, Critical Kush features large, resin-dense buds that release an intoxicating lemon-pine scent. Popular among patients with chronic pain, Critical Kush is a therapeutic strain that provides full-bodied nighttime relief.

God’s Gift

No matter your religious beliefs, God’s Gift seems like a flower from a higher power. This sedative indica can feature as much as 22 percent THC. Though this strain has been around since the 1990s, it remains an impressive specimen. Fast-acting, the happy and upbeat effects of this strain often come on first. Many enjoy the happy, bubbly mental side of this strain. However, don’t let the upbeat nature of this herb fool you. God’s Gift can pack some serious sedation. The area behind the eyes is likely to grow heavy, and many find that this strain leaves them stuck on the couch. Get some snacks ready and prepare yourself for a strong, yet genuinely good-spirited experience with this one.

Sunset Sherbet

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Sunset Sherbet, an indica-dominant hybrid, is heir to the Girl Scout Cookies throne. Funky and pungent, this strain boasts THC levels of up to 20 percent. While this strain may not be the most potent in terms of THC, the overall experience is quite incredible. Thanks to its hybrid heritage, Sunset Sherbet is more uplifting than many strains on this list. Many find that the effects often start off in the head, providing a joyous and upbeat high. However, this strain soon mellows out into an easy, full-bodied indica experience. This strain is only gaining popularity as a go-to indica hybrid. It is much beloved by those with mood disorders and chronic pain. Sunset Sherbet is a very enjoyable, top-notch bud all around.

Try vaping these through the Mighty Vaporizer from Storz & Bickel available at the Herb Shop for a sesh like never before.

Strongest Sativa Strains

In general, most of the incredibly strong strains on dispensary and coffee shop shelves are hybrids or indicas. However, there are a few sativa strains that consistently show up to the plate. These top 10 strongest sativa strains all can produce over 20 percent THC and are famous for providing cerebral and zippy cannabis experiences. Break out these beautiful buds when you’re hoping for a strong daytime experience.

Ghost Train Haze has been making lists for the past couple of years. This cerebral and extremely potent sativa has tested up to nearly 28 percent THC, making it raining champion as one of the top 10 strongest strains on earth. Speedy and uplifting, this strain is like taking a shot of relaxing espresso. With such high THC levels, Ghost Train Haze is recommended for experienced consumers.

Strawberry Cough

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Strawberry Cough is consistently one of the most popular sativas around. While this fruity and fragrant strain does have a reputation for causing a bit of a tickle in your throat, it’s also quite potent. In fact, Strawberry Cough will likely be one of the more potent sativas available on coffee shop or dispensary menus. Expect THC levels between 24 to 26 percent in this tasty flower.

Cinex

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Cinex is a strain with some variety. It’s not uncommon to find Cinex samples that produce as little as 15 percent THC. However, when grown with expert care, this happy sativa-dominant hybrid can produce up to 26% of the psychoactive. Regardless, of the potency, Cinex is known for producing a very clear-headed and focused high with a comfortable body relaxation to boot. Save this strain to use during the day, or right after breakfast. A mighty strong strain like this will suit Storz & Bickel Mighty Vaporizer perfectly.

Chernobyl

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Chernobyl is a three-way cross between Trainwreck, Jack the Ripper, and Trinity. Bred by TGA Genetics, this sativa-dominant hybrid has been making the rounds on dispensary shelves. While it’s possible to find Chernobyl samples that test somewhere in the teens, this strain has reached a whopping 30 percent THC. The potency of this strain is a lovely surprise, as Chernobyl provides an uplifting and contented experience overall.

Durban Poison

Durban-Poison

Sometimes, the strength of a strain is about more than THC. Durban Poison is a landrace sativa strain from South Africa. Unlike many hybrids out there, this strain is a 100 percent pure sativa. Consumers can expect a strong head rush from this bud. This solid Sativa possesses a sweet smelling quality and a hit of this helps with productivity. Don’t expect to be glued to the couch! Perfect for exploring nature or working out. Some have described this as the “espresso of cannabis” due to the effect it has on leaving its smokers with high energy and a little extra pep in their step. Durban Poison measures in at 23 percent THC. What to get the most flavor out of this flower? This strain would be a great fit for the Mighty Vaporizer providing clean and pure vapor.

Amnesia Haze

Amnesia Haze is an old school sativa with some legs. While many sativa strains provide an introspective, clear-headed, and concentrated experience, Amnesia Haze truly takes after it’s namesake. While this strain is lively and thought-provoking, it’s also quite hazy. Featuring up to 25 percent THC, this strain will send you off into a foggy (and perhaps even a little psychedelic) bliss.

Super Silver Haze

Super Silver Haze is a quintessential sativa strain. Popularized back in the 1990s, this sativa hybrid has won the hearts of cannabis fans all over the world. While Super Silver Haze is not often the strongest strain on the shelf, this bud has some impressive trichomes for a sativa strains. When grown with expert love and care, Super Silver Haze can produce up to 24 and 25 percent THC, making it one of the strongest sativas around.

Green Crack

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Rumor has it, this strain was named by Snoop Dogg himself. Get ready for a truly gleeful and energetic experience with this bud. Green Crack can feature up to 24 percent THC, and often provides a spacey, cerebral experience. Many find that laughter comes a more easily after a little Green Crack. A great daytime strain, some find that this strain helps them focus and calmly get things done.

Cinderella 99

Cinderella 99 is not the most potent strain out there in terms of THC. But, this is certainly one strong sativa-dominant hybrid. Often featuring up to 22% THC, this strain is still considered a potent bud. Cinderella 99 provides a very quick cerebral high and is nice and energizing. While some strains on this list can be extremely racy or just a little too energetic, Cinderella 99 is a strong-armed strain that provides a slightly more mellow experience by comparison.

Laughing Buddha

As the name might suggest, Laughing Buddha is one happy hybrid. Easy going, enjoyable, and energetic, this strain is jolly and can help you accomplish all of your daytime tasks. Similar to Cinderella 99, Laughing Buddha is not quite as potent as other strains on this list. However, this bud certainly provides a strong yet manageable sativa experience. Expect this strain to produce up to 23 percent THC with lots of care and nurturing.

Enhance any of these strains with the Mr. Black Bong from Killer Bongs – available in the Herb Shop!

The strongest marijuana products on earth

It’s a challenge for the most dedicated stoners. How do you overcome a massive marijuana tolerance (short of a tolerance break, of course) and get high-school high again? It can be done. It’s just a matter of dosage. Having done, shall we say, a bit of research on the topic, here are the strongest weed products on the planet.

Moon Rocks or Caviar

When it comes to which weed has the most THC, it’s actually not a strain at all. Moon rocks are top shelf buds dipped in hash oil and then covered in kief. Caviar is very similar, but it’s typically just top shelf herb covered in hash oil. Needless to say, both moon rocks and caviar are some of the strongest buds on the planet and will have THC levels that are literally off the charts. They’ll cost a little (or a lot) extra, but you won’t regret having treated yourself.

Crystalline THC-A Diamonds

They took last year’s Emerald Cup competition by storm. Crystalline THC-A diamonds, “the world’s strongest hash,” is a crystallized extract known as the most potent dab available. At upwards of 99 percent pure THC-A (which is the pre-activated form of THC, before heating), these potent little pieces of pot concentrate are not for the faint of heart. It’s helpful to think of THC-A crystals as the cannabis equivalent of Everclear. They’re among the strongest weed products around.

Flowers top out at between 25 and 30 percent THC. Concentrates like butane hash oil usually fall between 70 and 90 percent. But these glittering diamonds approach 100 percent pure THC. Now, keep in mind with crystalline THC-A, you only have one cannabinoid, not the entourage effect. Also, there are no terpenes, which affect and potentiate the high. So lots of people add a bit of THC-A diamonds to shatter or wax, pumping up the high.

Slactavis Cannabis Syrup

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Photo courtesy of www.hellapaxx.com

Each 4-ounce bottle of Slactavis Cannabis Syrup contains 1,500 milligrams of THC. Medical patients use the syrup for serious pain management; it’s that potent. Flavors include Watermelon, Grape, Tangerine, and Bubble Gum. Mix with your favorite drink, or have it straight from the bottle.

Bakked CO2 Distillate Oil

Bakked’s supercritical CO2 extracted cannabis oils, available in Arizona, California, Colorado, Maine, Nevada, New Mexico, and Oregon, are up to 95 percent potency. That means they are among the strongest weed products and pack a mighty punch for dabbing. The CO2 extraction ensures pure and clean oil, allowing for the widest range of terpenes and cannabinoids possible. Organa Labs‘ Bakked distillates are strain-specific and small-batch and available in Indica, Sativa, and Hybrid.

The 4.20 Brownie

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Photo courtesy of www.vccbrands.com

A solid gram of THC in a brownie? We’ll take it! Lots of people divide this potent 1,000 milligrams brownie up into bites, making multiple doses of it. Its rich, creamy texture is good for cutting into portions without much crumbling. Kudos to California’s Venice Cookie Company for packing so much potency into a brownie that still manages to be quite tasty (although you will detect a distinctly herbal flavor).

The Clear Concentrate

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Photo courtesy of Dab Farms via Youtube

California-based Clear Concentrate makes a dab with the minimalist, but meaningful, name: The Clear. The concentrate is 100 percent solvent-free and comes in 16 different flavors using natural terpenes. Clear Concentrate is one of the strongest weed products, at upwards of 90 percent THC.

TWAX THC Infused Rolling Papers

You have to be a fan of the steady march of progress. Ladies and gentlemen, in modern America, we have access to THC infused rolling papers. Thanks to the genius of cannabis concentrate company The Clear, these papers will take your joints to the next level. TWAX Concentrated Papers are RAW Rolling Papers infused with 100 milligrams of 97 percent THC oil each. That’s going to make a big difference in that joint’s effects, don’t ya know. Two papers will run you about $20.

CannaPunch Drinks

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Photo courtesy of www.thespot420.com

Colorado-based CannaPunch drinks, true to their name, pack a punch at 100 milligrams THC each. Take your pick of Pineapple Mango Delight, Black Cherry Fusion, Watermelon Nectar, Grand Daddy Grape, and Blue Raspberry Sour. The source of the THC in CannaPunch drinks is high-quality, whole cannabis buds.

Full Extract Cannabis Oil

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Photo courtesy of www.buycannabisoilnow.com

A time-honored classic, Full Extract Cannabis Oil (FECO) is extracted from the entire plant using alcohol as the solvent. This creates a product of high strength and purity which contains the full entourage of cannabinoids, including THC. Medical patients have found FECO highly effective in treating pain and insomnia. It’s shown lots of success fighting seizures and cancer tumors, as well. Of course, as one of the strongest weed products available, typically between 60 and 80 percent THC, it will also get you very, very high. FECO is by definition activated in the extraction process, so it’s basically ready to consume. Newbies typically consume about 1/10 a gram, roughly equal to the size of a grain of rice. Those with higher tolerances take more. Doses of a gram aren’t unusual for medical patients and high-dose advocates.

Punch Bars