#existentialterror

[the-most-humble-blog]

“Have Fun Sleeping Tonight: The Dead Version of You Might Be Watching”

— If the many-worlds theory is even half true, then sleep isn’t peace. It’s surveillance.

I. THE SCIENCE DOESN’T REASSURE YOU. IT MAGNIFIES THE NIGHTMARE.

Let’s begin where your science teacher ended: The Many-Worlds Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics (Everett, 1957). It posits this:

Every decision, action, or observation splits reality into parallel timelines.

That means:

There is a universe where you said yes instead of no.

A timeline where you died in your sleep.

A version where you snapped. Killed. Regretted nothing.

You don’t just exist in one place. You’re fractally smeared across infinite permutations.

Now stop.

Do you feel that nausea creeping in? That’s your brain trying to collapse the waveform back into a comforting lie:

“But those other ‘yous’ aren’t real.”

Except they are. According to cosmologist Max Tegmark, the multiverse isn’t fantasy — it’s the logical extension of quantum math. (Tegmark, Our Mathematical Universe, 2014.) He states plainly:

“Parallel worlds are not a theory — they are a prediction.”

Prediction.

That means if you follow any school of modern physics not 100 years out of date, the idea of “other yous” isn’t science fiction. It’s default reality.

And you haven’t asked the worst question yet.

II. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ONE OF YOU DOESN’T STAY PUT?

Let’s talk spillage.

Physicist Sean Carroll speculates that consciousness might be quantum-based. Roger Penrose, Nobel Prize winner, agrees. They propose that consciousness is not just produced by the brain — it might be entangled across quantum fields. (Penrose & Hameroff, Orch-OR Theory)

So what happens when:

One version of you dies?

Another version becomes violent, unstable, malevolent?

One you commits suicide while another sleeps peacefully?

Answer: If even one fragment of consciousness is entangled across realities… then your peaceful version isn’t alone.

Your dreams may not be dreams. Your shadow may not be your own. You may be watched — by a version of yourself with nothing left to lose.

III. PARANORMAL REPORTS LINE UP DISTURBINGLY WELL.

Let’s shift gears.

Ever heard of The Doppelgänger Effect?

Historical records, folklore, and police reports all document encounters with one’s own double. But not metaphorically — visually, audibly, and viscerally real.

In 1845, Emilie Sagee, a French schoolteacher, was reported by her students to appear in two places at once — teaching in the classroom while standing in the garden. Multiple students saw this. Repeatedly.

In 1983, a woman named Mrs. H called a UK radio show describing waking up to see herself standing at the foot of her bed, grinning. The double vanished when she screamed. That night, her twin sister died — 300 miles away.

You think these are just ghost stories?

Then explain the U.S. military remote viewing project ("Project Stargate") which openly documented experiences of operatives describing altered versions of themselves when viewing alternative locations.

Not other people. Alternate versions of themselves.

This wasn’t a YouTube rabbit hole. This was government-funded parapsychology lasting 20 years.

IV. SPIRITUAL SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOR CENTURIES.

Every major religion describes some fragmented self:

In Christianity: “The old self must die for the new to live.”

In Buddhism: “The self is an illusion constructed from fragments.”

In Gnostic texts: “You are a splinter of a fallen Aeon, seeking your original totality.”

In Islamic mysticism: “Your nafs (ego self) will devour you if not purified.”

All agree: There is a You that must be confronted, destroyed, or merged — Or it will consume you from the inside.

You think religion is primitive?

No. It’s just older science, wrapped in parable.

Even Carl Jung said:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life — and you will call it fate.”

But what if that unconscious isn’t in your mind? What if it’s in another reality? And it’s grown stronger by watching you ignore it?

V. NIGHTMARES MAY BE THE ONLY TIME YOU’RE IN THE SAME ROOM.

Let’s talk sleep.

During REM, your brain emits gamma oscillations at frequencies seen during lucid dreams, psychedelic states, and near-death experiences. Studies suggest the brain enters a hyper-networked state, where it becomes sensitive to… what, exactly?

Answer:

Possibly the other yous.

Ever had a nightmare where you were the villain? Where you watched yourself do something you never would? Or woke up sweating, shaking, but couldn’t explain why?

That wasn’t “just a dream.” That may have been a cross-link.

Neurologist Dr. Patrick McNamara believes that sleep paralysis, nightmare recurrence, and certain terror hallucinations stem not from disorder — but from an encounter with hostile psychological doubles.

He writes:

“The Self is not singular in dream states. It fractures. It negotiates.” And sometimes? It loses.

VI. THE SHADOW THAT MOVES DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU.

Ever catch your reflection moving wrong?

Not metaphorically. Not “I’m tired” wrong.

Wrong.

Faster than you. Smiling when you aren’t. Tilting its head a millisecond off.

Psychologists call this The Capgras Delusion — a syndrome where a person believes their loved one has been replaced by an identical impostor.

But what if some of these “delusions” are true experiences from a consciousness spilling sideways into another dimension?

Because the phenomenon doesn’t just happen with people. It happens with mirrors. With self.

Ever heard the phrase:

“You looked like someone else for a second.”

No one says that about strangers. They say it about you.

VII. SO WHAT HAPPENS IF THE DEAD YOU NEVER LEFT?

Let’s push this horror to its logical conclusion.

What happens when a version of you dies with rage, regret, or obsession?

That echo doesn’t vanish.

If consciousness is quantum-entangled, death doesn’t delete it. It disconnects it. And disconnected things are unpredictable.

That version of you, furious and free from laws of physics, no longer tethered to a body… might cling to the nearest iteration of familiarity.

You.

You — who still breathe. You — who still dream. You — who left them behind.

And every time you wake up in a panic at 3:17 AM, sweating, sure that something was in the room?

Maybe you’re right. Maybe it was you. Just not the version who brushes their teeth and posts online.

The version who lost everything, and now just… watches.

VIII. SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

You want peace?

Too bad.

You are being watched. You are being mirrored. You are being remembered by the parts of yourself you tried to forget.

The religious were right to pray. The scientists were right to worry. The philosophers were right to scream into the void.

Because the void sometimes screams back. And it knows your name. Because it used to wear it.

IX. CONCLUSION: THE EYE IN THE DARK IS YOUR OWN.

This isn’t fiction.

Every citation above comes from peer-reviewed research, Nobel lectures, classified debriefs, or theological traditions predating modern ego.

And every night you go to sleep thinking you’re “just dreaming,” you might be giving a front-row seat to the part of yourself that no longer needs eyes to see.

So tonight?

When the lights go out. And you close your eyes. And feel the breath behind your shoulder — even though no one’s there.

Don’t worry.

It’s probably just you.

One of you.

Reblog if you feel watched. Reblog if you felt something read this over your shoulder. Reblog if you suddenly aren’t tired anymore.

⚖️ Final Reminder: This post was engineered to exploit gaps in quantum theory, mirror neuron mirage, and cross-dimensional memory decay. It may cause insomnia, dissociation, or arousal in certain readers. This is literature. This is a mirror. This is not safe.

[operativelm]

Thanks! It’s awful, I love it :D

🧄

Thanks for your PURCHASE! Aw yeah. Great root. Thank you. Love me some garlic.

YOUR DISCOUNT FEAR:

You go to unplug your laptop or your phone charger or whatever from its socket and spaghetti starts spilling out of there. Just extruding from the prong holes. Lots of it. Worse yet, it's an extension cord. Where's it all coming from? How'd it fit in there?

Ay, goes pretty well with the garlic. Thanks for your patronage.

Vegetable counter: 11 (avocado, snap pea, onion, strawberry, 2 carrots, cucumber, broccoli, sweet potato, lettuce, garlic)

[just-hyde]

Dr. Sophia Light

@existentialterror's girl for @oopsarboreal, give them both a hug

[false-guinevere]

The Quest For the Holy Grail

Vulgate Cycle Edited by Norris J. Lacy / Vulgate illustration / Lancelot du Lac (1974) / The Empyrean by Gustave Doré / Revelation 20:12-15 / Vulgate Cycle / Adoration of the Mystic Lamb by Jan van Eyck / Consecration (2023) / Nemesis by H.P. Lovecraft / The Beatus of Facundus (1047) / Sir Galahad by Veronica Whall / Vulgate Cycle / Lancelot du Lac / The Golden Tree by Edwin Austin Abbey / Vulgate Cycle / Art by @/existentialterror / The Apparition of the Grail to Percival by Pinckney Marcius-Simons / Vulgate Cycle

[fagnightsatfreddys]

A little web weave for @zeteri-art for the @mcyt-halloween gift exchange!!

I tried going for a theme of Watcher Grian and the ending of Third Life with a little bit of Scarian if you squint (I love over-dramatizing cubes) I hope you like it!!

Image credits and link sources under the cut

Together (Baphometkun)

Phrase - Wings - Eye - Image composition: Myself

Phrase, drawing (existentialterror) - Background image (Baphometkun)

X

This must be the place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads

X

The Man Who Sold the World - Nirvana

Picture - Phrase (lilsquiddymcinky, top comment on this video) - Editing: Myself

Phrase (Fruiteas) - Photo (Fedor Vasilev and Anna Ivahnenko. Manchester 2020) - Hands: Myself

World of Flesh and Blood (Fruiteas)

Telephone line - Electric Light Orchestra

Image editing (_journalsandjunk_) - Picture they used (Elk at the Game and Fish Department - Lucas Foglia)

Snow day (Baphometkun)

Image (flesh.png) - Text (that-house - Untitled.)

The Man Who Sold the World - Nirvana

Holy bird (Julianmiholics)

Together (Baphometkun)

[pixelatedvoid]

😔 I have yet to be visited by authorclef

BUT author light has reblogged one of my posts

You're not a true SCPBlr user until you're reblogged by author clef

[irrealisms]

tagged by @arisingonmorningsinnocent

Rules: shuffle your On Repeat playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then tag 10 people

It's All Futile! It's All Pointless! by Lovejoy

In the Shadow of the Western Hills by the Mountain Goats

Nobody by the Crane Wives

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

Never Quite Free by the Mountain Goats

A Burning Hill by Mitski

Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod by the Mountain Goats

Be Calm by Fun.

Autoclave by the Mountain Goats

His Theme by Toby Fox

tagging @spiritunwilling @circuit77 @risingape @existentialterror @scientificalstories @erstwhilesparrow @adhdo5 @roundearthsociety @lepertamar @wolffyluna and anyone who sees this and wants to-- feel free to say i tagged you ^_^ and on the flip side if you were tagged and don't want to do it feel free to not!

[ratethisalbum]

#184) The Shepherd's Dog

Iron & Wine

Suggested by: @existentialterror

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Spotify ~ Youtube

(Remember to listen first, then rate!)

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Tracklist:

"Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car"

"White Tooth Man"

"Lovesong of the Buzzard"

"Carousel"

"House by the Sea"

"Innocent Bones"

"Wolves (Song of the Shepherd's Dog)"

"Resurrection Fern"

"Boy With a Coin"

"The Devil Never Sleeps"

"Peace Beneath the City"

"Flightless Bird, American Mouth"

[rottingraisins]

could you recommend me some (any and all) scp fics to put on my to read list? im trying to get back into the fandom after not really keeping up with it for a while and now i cant fund anything that isn’t incredibly confusing or like 7 years old

also. the way you draw meri is absolutely gorgeous shes so fluffy

First of all thank u i love deer woman hehe! 2nd of all by god I sat on this for over 3 months bc, like, see, the thing about scp is that the line between fanfic and canon might as well not exist. I sincerely recommend that if youre trying to get back into it you start with the actual site itself bc most of the good writers who are into scp are just straight up on there.

However (!) there’s still a handful of offsite scp writing deemed “too soft” for the site or written by someone unwilling to engage with the wikis greenlighting process (which I respect massively, same hat) that im very fond of that I put under the cut 4 you. I hope you find something you like in there!

Peanut Butter Cookies by bandtrees

Possibly my favorite SCP fanfic on all of AO3. Follows Troy Lament during the events of In His Own Image, but with a few more glimpses into his private life and inner workings than he is afforded on the wiki. Also features some really charming appearances from miscellaneous senior staff, most prominently Agatha Rights. An examination of what it would actually be like to work for the Foundation, especially under one of its old legends, carried by very real-feeling character interactions.

the delicate art of sleeping through the night by thefriendlyvandal

I feel like everyone already knows about this one but it deserves to go here anyway by virtue of making me so thoroughly unwell (in the very best of ways). Clef/Kondraki fic taking place in the same universe as SCP-4231, and in fact written by the same guy. Perpetually unfinished, but what's there is enough to tear my heart out thrice over. Those old men can be so doomed.

The First Year by existentialterror

Arguably not fanfic at all by virtue of being written by Light's author, but it fits the above-mentioned criteria of being offsite writing that I think is really underrated. Light and her assistant Vaux's first Christmas at their newly acquired Site up in Scandinavia where they look at ghosts and contemplate the past and the Foundation and their place within it. Wonderful little character study and full of the humanity that authorlight imbues all of her writing with

Then and Now by bondsmagii

In the same weird not-really-fanfic-limbo as the above Light story since it's written by authorkondraki, but who cares. Set in the same universe as Quiet Days, Kondraki and his twin sister explore the ruins of Site-17 some few years after the end. A bit hammy, but I think about it a lot.

feathers and lonely cells by Nacho

Iris angst set in the Devils Advocate canon but not necessarily requiring having read it to understand what's going on. Wingfic, which I didn't know was like, a whole thing, before stumbling across it but it sure does take the concept of "people having wings" places. Ongoing, I'm acquainted with the author and they're planning on continuing it!

Also I fail to pick just one but I think everyone should check out my friend John @handsome-john's entire ao3 gallery he is such a skilled writer and I think everyone should clap and cheer for him. Known on this blog mostly for Mann/Kondraki cannibalism yaoi so far but he's been letting me peep his works in progress and he's dropping some massive bangers soon it looks like. Haha John you are on my tumblr blog

[smol-and-scared]

I was thinking about my post analyzing godhood and size. And I wanted to give a quick shout-out to @entomolog-t's fic "Finding Strength" It's basically the exact vibe I was going for... but in reverse!

The scenario I described is like:

"Humans are unfathomably powerful to us." -> "Oh. that god-like power is just... normal to them. Oh..." -> [ExistentialTerror]

But Ent's (amazing) fic is like:

"Pfft, my human is mediocre AF" -> "oh... mediocre Humans are still inconceivably powerful to us. ...Oh fuck. ohfuckohfuckohfuck" -> [ExistentialTerror (Instrumental)]

Either way

It's a matter of psychology that I desperately want to explore (but haven't found proper inspiration for):

A tiny being forced to accept their own insignificance; A character that has always seen themselves as 'normal' and humans as 'the giants'... being given empirical proof that they are a 'tiny'.

The illusion is shattered. Wherever they go, 'the giants' will always be there. ...Because there were never any giants to begin with.

There's just a world full of normal people and this small, helpless little creature that is suddenly very very aware of their place in it.

PS: Go follow @entomolog-t!! Their writing is incredible.

[x-i-l-verify]

Trick or treat!

One good turn deserves another!

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If you want a rec... hm, well, it's not a "rec" per se, but I'm sure you see me posting a lot about it, so I figured I'd explain what the Dream SMP is just for clarity's sake. ^^;

So, to quote tumblr user existentialterror: "The Dream SMP is a private multiplayer Minecraft server. A bunch of Twitch/Youtube streamers roleplayed on it regularly from 2020-2022. It grew a 'plot' based on improv which later became somewhat scripted in advance. There are arcs, seasons, worldbuilding, and factions."

I personally describe it to people as this strange, unholy mix of Game of Thrones, Homestuck, and Loony Tunes, but it manages to still be compelling somehow despite all its many flaws (the story could have seriously benefited from having whatever the Minecraft RP version of a Dungeon Master is, that's all I'll say about it). It's also the single most nuanced and fascinating study of morality and perspective I've ever seen in a fictional medium (one that was absolutely wasted on its target audience because a lot of people - especially younger people - aren't capable at looking at stories through an objective lens anymore), because the DSMP has no single main protagonist. Every character is the "main character," and their story intertwines and intersects with the other characters', creating a vast web of character conflicts and interactions. A character can be the flawed hero of their own story, and a despicable villain from another character's POV. A silly little guy to one character, and the worst person imaginable to another. Basically, "Villain" by Stella Jang is the DSMP theme song. And I think that's neat!

Characters include:

A violent anarchist pigman who somehow manages to be the most open-minded and based character in the entire series.

A sentient slime monster who pretends to be human by saying things like "I have so many bones! I have like 300 bones in me like everyone else!" and "Hello, fellow meat brother!"

An anthro fox who suffers from prophetic nightmares and serious daddy issues.

A sweet, silly demon who spends half the series being a chaotic menace and the other half either being mind-controlled into a cult leader or being traumatized by what he did under the influence of said mind control.

A former king who spends most of the story sleeping to escape from the crushing disappointment of reality and who reshapes his dreams into what he wants reality to be courtesy of a deity he befriends while there.

And many more

Also the fandom is full of very talented animators. :D Here are just a few of the super cool animations they've made over the years. (Links because the rest of the videos are unavailable outside of YT dangit)

Requiem | Fundy Lore [DSMP animatic]

Tightrope | GeorgeNotFound Lore [DSMP animatic]

Folding Chair | BadBoyHalo Lore [DSMP animatic]

The Search | Season 2 Lore Recap [DSMP animation]

Put “trick-or-treat” in my inbox and I’ll give you either a) a meme or two related to a fandom you’re interested in (if I don’t know you as well I’ll go random/miscellaneous) or b) a random book/movie/game rec. Feel free to specify, or to ask for both!

[erstwhilesparrow]

tagged by @cohnal to tag 9 people i'd like to get to know better!

last song: Breathe Till I'm Full by The Collection. i could not tell you anything extra about this song even if you held me at gunpoint; i don't remember why i was listening to this but it's what spotify says!

favourite colour: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i was going to say purple because there are many excellent shades of purple but actually i've decided orange. like a nice saturated orange. ...maybe yellow? look, there are many good colours in the world.

currently watching: [glances at open tabs]. last life! (thank you heartscord for the playlist o7) i am in the middle of as many as several things but this is the one i'm most likely to continue watching Soon.

last movie / tv show: yikes. uh. Bones and All, around late august i think. i don't watch a lot of non-youtube stuff these days.

sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury!

relationship status: not telling!

current obsessions: i cycle through like five of them in a day why are you asking me this. uh! really really broadly: bodies? witchcraft smp + various experiences of corpsehood. 3rd life + mechs. pirates smp + [redacted for being a lot of projecting and a lot of just throwing scott and owen in a box and shaking them to see what falls out]. new life smp + the many meanings of 'exploring someone's body'. empires s2 + ghosts and hollow places. less mcyt-focused, been thinking a lot about dogs and machines and tools and ways to layer those things over each other into useful metaphors for making sense of myself.

tagging: @neonsnailcity @qu-ilinn @ciaran @irrealisms @coldwind-shiningstars @existentialterror @nydescynt and this is not nine people but look there's only so many people in the world i can possibly know -- feel free to pretend i tagged you if you want to do this!!

[cheeseonthemoon]

I drew Jesus. Don't know much about her really, but I love her character design. @existentialterror

[businesstiramisu]

#oddly inspiring#alternate models#this is the future transhumanists want (via existentialterror)

unlimited redemption

[unicornery]

I apologize if this is weird and feel free to ignore, but I was searching my own username in tumblr for, you know, normal self-obsessed reasons, and I am SO curious if this very old post of yours: post/180125254234/honestly-its-my-fault-for-not has anything to do with me. Anyway have a good one!

Hey! Thank you for the message. It’s a very valid question. I looked up the post on my blog, and I couldn’t find any context, even when looking at the whole day, so I looked at that day on your blog, and I saw the remixed “eldritch angel” emoji, and I think that’s what did it. In my memory it was one of those situations where a bunch of people I follow all reblogged it from each other around the same time, (i’m sure we have all experienced this) and I found it mildly upsetting to keep seeing.

So the joke was that I would have put the concept of “existential terror” into my blacklist, and then avoided seeing the emoji and, more generally, other things to cause existential terror. It was nothing against you personally, or even the rest of your blog, mainly a joke on your url and that one post. Kind of a “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” situation. I think you did a good job making that because it was so upsetting, so you did what you set out to do. 

Thank you for understanding.

[botanyshitposts]

what's the dumbest piece of plant anatomy. where do you look at a plant and you're like "why did evolution do this instead of literally anything else"

hmm…this is a tough one because there aren’t many plant evolutionary traits i think are flat out stupid? like theres at least like one a week that makes me shit bricks, but id say with 99% of plant stuff i can at least see how it got to the conclusion of making a certain structure, and most of the time its something way smarter than i would have come up with if i was like, god or something. 

the closest i can think of would be something from back before plants figured out literally anything….i know ive talked about this a few months ago, but i really can’t get over a variety of extinct plants. currently my favorite from the dawn of plants on land is Aglaophyton major, a plant that was around 410 million years ago and was in the stage where plant anatomy was shifting from a primitive upright stem sprouting from a thallus (hornwort style) to a stem creeping along the ground.

this is literally so embarrassing. humans finding fossils of this is analogous to mankind as a whole accidentally walking in on someone in the public restroom of life. 

we dont know how many plant species we’ll never get to see from this time period, but the current idea is that there were hundreds to thousands of different ‘tries’ to get plant life on earth right, all mutations and species that are 100% lost to the sands of time; only the more successful ones are the ones that got fossilized and, as a result, dug up and studied more often. now, given that, can you imagine the chances of Land Plant v. 2.5 (Noodle Update) getting fossilized and dug up by scientists 410 million years later? like don’t get me wrong, there’s no doubt that getting from ‘straight primitive stem’ to ‘creeping, more adaptable stem’ was necessary for life as we know it today, but there are probably hundreds of other, less embarrassing stages/attempts of plant evolution that weren’t this hilarious that would have at least afforded the decency of not showing a far ancestor of plant life on land engaging in spaghetti time. its so funny. i just cant believe it