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prince-jelli-fish · 2 months

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Full lore dump of my dnd npcs that I've adapted into full on bg3 characters below the cut ⬇️⬇️⬇️

First, what is a Dual Life?

A Dual Life is a magic entity that I created for a homebrew dnd campaign back in 2020. They are a person who has been magically bonded, at birth, to a specific member of the animal kingdom. From that day forward, that person will have one specific animal as their guardian and animals of the same type will naturally gravitate towards them. Upon their death, be it natural or unnatural, the animal guardian will willingly give up their life, fuse with the person, and grant them a second life. The person also takes on some of the characteristics of that animal.

Now, how did this all come about?

In the original campaign, this came about through completely random chance. I changed things up a bit to fit with BG3. A man named Bartram Graves sought after immortality. Upon doing experiments with the weave, he discovered that there was a way for him to infuse magic directly into a person lifestream that would allow them a second life after death. It is important to note: this practice is considered extremely taboo and the result of a successful Dual Life is labeled as a magical abomination, not only in the eyes of most mortals but in the eyes of the gods themselves. It took decades of extremely unethical experimentation, but he came about with his first success: an infant elf he named Nyomi.

Nyomi

Nyomi was bound to a deer who identified herself as Silfy. Nyomi was always a well spoken child who stood up to anyone. As she matured into an adult, she became more conscious of what she considered good and bad. She despises Bartram with every fiber of her being and wants nothing more than to exact justice upon him. To a stranger, Nyomi is cold and calculating, trying to determine if they live up to her standards of good and bad. To her beloved siblings, Nyomi is soft and gentle. One could say she is overly soft as she will give in to anything they ask of her. She also tends to throw her moral code out the window and make excuses for them.

As Nyomi grew, Bartram continued his project. Ten years later, he had two more successes. A drow he named Lillith, and an elf he named Braern.

Lillith

Lillith was bound to a mated pair of giant spiders named Charlie and Nora. Lillith was an extremely soft spoken and shy child who grew into a soft spoken and awkward adult. She is terrified of making anyone upset and will continually cross her own boundaries to make others feel better. She almost always ends up learning everything there is to know about someone else before she reveals even the slightest bit of information about herself.

Braern

Braern was bound to a crow that called himself Elias. As a child, Braern would isolate himself and didn't care much for friendships. As an adult, Braern only cares for those he has dubbed his family. He's fiercely protective of them and wants nothing more than to please them.

How the siblings were separated

Once Nyomi became an adult, Bartram decided it was finally time to make sure his success was viable. Nyomi was quietly executed, and reborn as her Dual Life self. She gained a deer's antlers and hooves. This act picked up a lot of attention, specifically from two wealthy and powerful people, Lord Kilzern Manu and Lady Ommara Fragon. Both Kilzern and Ommara were dragons in disguise and had an extremely personal rivalry.

Ommara approached Bartram first and offered him an extremely obscene amount to adopt Braern into her family. Obviously, Bartram accepted and the young elf boy (approximately 10 in human years at the time) was taken away to live with Lady Fragon. She changed his name to Raven. He became one of her own children, and went to great lengths to care for him as though he were her's by blood.

Nyomi and Lillith weren't so lucky. Kilzern approached Bartram next and demanded both Nyomi and Lillith, as well as the creation of an additional child. Bartram easily parted with the two young women (approximately 25 and 10 in human years at the time), but was hesitant to take on the challenge of yet another Dual Life child. Kilzern insisted and thus, a human he named Raphael was born.

Raphael

Raphael was bound to a tiger who called herself Pansa. Immediately after his birth, he was brought to Kilzern's home and Nyomi was put in charge of his care. Raphael grew into a very aggressive and stubborn child. He has a great difficulty distinguishing how to act during tense situations and laughs at inappropriate times to cope with discomfort. As an adult, he has become even more aggressive to anyone he doesn't trust. Biting is always an option for him.

Life living with a tyrant

Kilzern Manu, a tyrant lord and secretly a black dragon in disguise, only desired power.

Nyomi, Lillith, and Raphael were not Kilzern Manu's only children. He had two blood children, Tolrin and Sisseth

Tolrin was even more bloodthirsty than Kilzern. He had an intense drive to prey on those who were weaker than him. He took out his rage on each of his adopted siblings, but particularly delighted in torturing Raphael.

Sisseth was far more even tempered than her father and brother, but she wasn't without her flaws. She felt it in her heart to protect her adopted siblings, but only to a point. Due to her sweet and gentle nature, Lillith was the one she protected the most from Tolrin's torment. She would occasionally try to help Nyomi, but felt that since she was an adult, Nyomi needed to stand up for herself. Sisseth was genuinely frightened of Raphael due to his volatile nature, so in the back of her mind she felt he almost deserved Tolrin's punishments.

The fall of Manu

When Lillith became an adult, Manu had planned to make a spectacle of her transformation to Dual Life. He planned a lavish event and invited those nobles corrupt enough to enjoy watching Lillith executed and then transform into a magical abomination. Sisseth realized what was happening and decided now was the time to act. She smuggled her sister out of the mansion and sent her off to live in an extremely secluded temple in the woods.

Upon Sisseth's return, Tolrin reported to their father what she had done. The day of the party arrived, and Sisseth took Lillith's place on the chopping block.

At this point, Nyomi and Raphael, were in shock. Lillith was gone, Sisseth was dead, and it was only a matter of time before Raphael became an adult and Kilzern would order his execution.

Unceremoniously, Raphael and Nyomi murdered Tolrin and Kilzern while they slept, then set the mansion on fire. They escaped into the woods and ran away to Baldur's Gate, where they would hopefully live unnoticed.

Raven's life

Braern, now turned Raven, had a relatively uneventful life. Lady Ommara Fragon had one other child, Tybalt, and the two of them quickly became firm friends. Tybalt was quite a bit older than Raven, but became the most doting big brother one could ask for. Once he became an adult, Raven opted to take on his Dual Life form to better protect his mother.

Unbeknownst to anyone in either family, Tybalt and Sisseth had begun to court each other. When Tybalt found out what had happened to his beloved, he tried to take on the House of Manu by himself, and failed.

When Tybalt didn't return, it drove Raven to rage. He went with Lady Fragon to exact revenge, but to their surprise, the mansion was on fire and the Lords of the house were dead.

Raven vowed to stay by Lady Fragon's side as her bodyguard for the rest of his life.

Lillith's life

Lillith lived 20 years of her life in the secluded temple that Sisseth left her at. Her only company were her spiders, plus the priest and priestess who guarded the temple. They urged Lillith to study sorcery and devote herself to Mystra.

Unfortunately for Lillith, being a magical abomination means the goddess of magic doesn't like you very much. She spent 20 years trying to learn even the smallest bit of magic only to fail every time. No matter how hard she tried, she was unable to succeed at even the most basic principles or channel the smallest portion of the Weave.

To combat the frustration of being urged to study something she could never succeed in, Lillith took up painting. In any spare time that she was allowed, she worked at becoming an extremely talented artist.

Nyomi's life

Nyomi stayed with Raphael until he became an adult and she was certain he would be fine on his own. Once that happened, she left and went to the Underdark to seek out those considered to be evil doers and offered up justice. She did her best to find those suffering from the same kind of torment she suffered and would relieve them of their burdens. She never sought out payment or praise for what she did, and would fervently ignore criticism.

In all that time she spent in the Underdark, she only ever made very shallow connections with other people. One night trists or fleeting conversations were all she would allow herself. She had no desire to create meaningful relationships with others. She had a job to do.

Raphael's life

Raphael grew into a very anxious and aggressive adult. After Nyomi left, he quickly turned to a life of crime. Anything he wanted he would get, no matter the cost. He had been denied so much and was tortured for so long that he decided his adulthood would be full of everything life had to offer. His constant companion was Pansa who stood by his side as his ever watchful guardian.

As an adult, Raphael became extremely touch averse, he'd even developed slight chirophobia (fear of hands). He would never allow anyone to get close to him. Now that he was in charge of himself, it was his job to make sure he was never hurt again.

So, what was the point of all this?

Ultimately, I just really needed to write down all my lore in a place where I'd remember it. In each of their respective timelines, the end of what I wrote is what happened right up until they were kidnapped and tadpoled. If you read all the way through, I'm genuinely super honored and surprised. Thank you! <3

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #my ocs #dungeons and dragons #lore #oc lore #reference #sooooo that was a lot lol #idk if anyone will actually read this all but....i'd love to answer questions <3

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dumbbitchfrommars · 2 years

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who knew i how much i appreciated a chill night in. i am absolutely knackered though last night was fun. i need to learn to handle my liquor, or just not drink at all. its fucking up my skin and mental health and honestly i feel so concerned while i work that ill end up like those addicts. anyway, tomorrow i will eat extra to makeup up for lost time yesterday and today.

so.... i have feelings for my friend. he is sweet and charming and so so kind, and i know he likes me too, he literally has since the day we met. its been, what? two years since we met? that’s crazy. i havent been ready for the longest time. ive known i liked him for ages as well. i kissed him on my birthday. i feel like things happen between us whenever theres some alcohol in our systems. but at the same time, its like it reveals the truth. i have less fear to act on my feelings. the stolen glances and smiles to each other, the way he’d come to me just from a look. like a magnet pulled us together constantly. i wasn’t interested in anyone but him... maybe one girl but its different with her, more flirtacious and no strings attached.

anyway, towards the end of the night i ended up next to him in his bed. i get so nervous with him. but i feel like a little girl. like, just the biggest most wholesome schoolgirl crush. i invited him to dinner and he agreed. so theres my olive branch after two years of mixed messages. my mum likes him, i like him, he has great friends, i like him on an intellectual and physical level. which is crazy, cause for the longest time i didnt want to like him on a physical level.

i think this whole experience, of having these feelings but trying to push them down on account for my physical preference, has taught me alot. its not fair to body shame someone. i have struggled with feeling inadequate for my body when i have no control over it. imagine if id just been accepted as a girl, i wouldve been able to enjoy my stumbling deer days when i was supposed to be lanky and skinny and awkward. so, i want to accept him as he is, and maybe that could help me grow in my own way too.

there’s no denying i feel a little weird about it, but its just so different with him, compared to scorpion, cause i genuinely am attracted to him. hes flirty and assertive and interesting and a darling. i dont want to be afraid of having feelings for someone again. i want to be open and ready. i am ready. ive been seeing 888 999 and 555. change and transcendence. perhaps a transformational relationship. or romantic friendship? i dont want to put any expectations to it. i just want to enjoy the connection we have.

anyway, i mainly wanted to come on here and gush about a certain moment last night. i can barely even remember what happened, or the context of the situation. i just know, he stroked my hair, and it made me feel like i was on fire. my stomach was going crazy and i looked straight into his eyes and ugh it was just magical and so seductive lol. i cant believe im even saying this! and then i instantly told him dont you do that, and smiled in that knowing way. how embarrassing!!!!! but also how sexy!!!!! he definitely wouldve known what i was thinking, and how i was feeling.

i am the worst at hiding my feelings. i wish i could be mysterious and sexy but the reality is im an open book and i am a professional at embarrassing myself. hopefully he doesnt remember. but also... hopefully he does. i like that he has that power/effect over me. i dont think ive felt genuine attraction like this to someone in the longest time. scorpion and my summer fling both made me cringe, they were hopeless and truly gave me the ick. i still dont understand how i managed to convince myself i had feelings for them.

but, this man is a libra, and hes wonderful, and i have feelings for him. i want to be better for him. i want to be there for him. i want him to be happy and to feel cared for... i dont know. i am so glad i got the courage to ask him to dinner. because i honestly have been wanting to for weeks now, but i didnt know how to ask. thank you God for bringing these opportunities into my lap! thank You for the protection you give me and the love i am surrounded by!!! xxxxxxoxoxo

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fragmented-king · 2 years

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Sooooo, projecting really hard here but can you do Alastor x Scientist!Reader who works mostly with earth science and envirnmental stuff. Maybe they became some sort of forest demon in their afterlife cause they probably died in a forest, idk. Sorry if this is tok too specific.

No worries! Coming right up!

~~~

-Alastor-

You first met Alastor when you were kidnapping a test subject for your next batch of experiments, the deer demon quite intrigued with that exactly you were going to do with the poor fellow.

While at first you were suspicious of him, you saw no harm in letting someone see the fruits of your labour. Especially since you’re pretty sure he could kill you with ease regardless.

Your lab was just outside of the main city, quiet enough to be peaceful but still close enough to gather any subject you may need.

The walk there was filled with idle chatter, Alastor taking note of your unique appearance like leaves and flowers had been strewn across you along with the likes of rocks that made a sort of protective covering.

Normally it would look horrendous but you managed to pull it off and make it look somewhat good.

You told him about your work when you were alive, being something of a Geologist with some dabbles into Biology. This got his attention as scientists of any sort were the type to hold some great respect even when he was alive.

He’d wonder why you’re down here, i which you reply that often some greedy and disgusting companies often hired you to lie about what their work was doing to the land and such.

One day you got tired of it and tried to do at least some good, wanting to warn the authorities, but was quite literally shot in the back and left to die in the middle of the dying Forest you had lied about.

You’d meet up with each other over the next few weeks, whether it be from meeting each other while you’re collecting subjects or just having a nice cup of tea of coffee and happen to see each other.

At first he was a little perturbed by you not being afraid of him like so many were, but then he found out you didn’t really care as you were a person of science. A notion he would normally laugh at, especially here in hell, but he respected you as a person enough to at least hold it in.

Your friendship only blossomed from there on as you two often had frequent meet ups, invited each other over for dinner and simply discussed the night away only any topic you two could think off.

Alastor hadn’t had this much fun or felt this way in a very long time, someone to sit down and enjoy the day with that didn’t always have to involve murder or the torturous experience of watching you turn a demon or sinner into a horrific minion you’d stockpile and use to be your own overlord.

He didn’t even offer you a deal like so many others, even if it would advance his own power, he was intrigued to see how far you’d go with this and was eager to help and see the outcome.

Sometime along the line, that thin line between friendship and something more had tipped, and you two had barely even noticed it.

Alastor was walking much closer then before, his hands either on your hip or in public, just brushing against yours.

You were inviting Alastor over for dinner more and more, using the freshly killed subjects only as you knew he’d except nothing else.

You even heard Alastor mention you on his radio program a few times, a big honour that you always had a joy hearing.

In fact, the only reason you two ever acknowledged that you had become a thing, was when Alastor had pecked your cheek after dinner one night. The action freezing you solid, as the deer man waltzed out without a care in the underworld.

Best euphoric high of your undeath.

From that point on all the little things had more thought out into it, homemade lunches for Alastor when he’s doing his radio segment.

Suddenly your supply of subject had been replenished, along with a note reminding you not to work so hard and that dinner was on him tonight.

Even that fact that Alastor was now letting you touch him unprompted and with no rebuttal was intoxicating and enough to bring a giddy smile to your face.

And while you were a scientist and not a craftsman, you used your extraordinary vast amounts of knowledge to make something using nothing but he possessions of your experiments and the hellish earth you stood upon.

The next time Alastor met up with you, you couldn’t even bare to keep a surprise from him, bringing out a pair of beautifully crafted bands.

Both rich with red and white, blending both of your main colours as the overlord eagerly took on and slipped it on with no hesitation. Also with no hesitation, was the soft kiss he planted on your lips, leaving you dizzy and with a stupid face that only he could have you make.

“It’s beautiful darling~”

#anon ask #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor x reader #headcanon

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20

But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.

Chapter 21:

Transcript under the cut:

Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass

- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.

- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->

- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).

- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong

- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12

- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)

- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest

- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3

- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell

- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good

- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right

- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.

- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points

- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.

- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."

- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4

- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another

- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain

- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her

- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.

- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope

- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14

- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of

- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous

- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?

- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?

- Something the fic will address?

- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92

- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93

- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao

- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.

- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?

- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.

- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard

- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94

- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?

- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95

- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?

- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.

- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity

- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96

- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?

- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)

- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.

- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)

- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!

- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri

- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?

- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?

** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **

- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.

- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.

- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny

- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5

- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100

- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth

- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.

- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke

- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.

- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light

- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.

- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true

******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******

#o captain my captain #is the Cap'n's name fuckin' Greg holy shit #this chapter was baaaaad #b-but hey maybe i'm just being overly critical?

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opaljm · 4 years

Text

eye of the tiger (m) | teaser – kth

➻ female reader x taehyung

➻ jagged spin-off + hybrid au + tiger!taehyung + giraffe/deer!reader + enemies to lovers + fake dating + minor inspiration from zootopia if you squint

➻ genres: angst, smut, romance

➻ length & status: 3k words; teaser

➻ rating & warnings: 18+; allusions to minor discrimination and prejudice; allusion to bullying

➻ summary: You had been bullied by Kim Taehyung in your youth and wanted to have nothing to do with him. But when your ex-boyfriend, a stag hybrid, kept dogging at your heels and Taehyung needed a girlfriend to stop the jaguar hybrid Jimin from growling every single time he got within 10 feet of his girlfriend, you find yourself agreeing to keep up the pretense that you and Taehyung were each other’s childhood crushes and had only recently reconnected and decided to date.

➻ a/n: the Jagged sequel that exactly two people asked for. enjoy this for now because i have no idea when i will be finishing this since i have to finish the fics i already gave post dates for :D

➻ disclaimer: all lions are inbred and they live in a pride. i don’t think this is necessarily something that i have to apologize for having in my story but i’ll still throw out the disclaimer that there is one tiny joke about lions being inbred.

⋆ jagged ⋆ teaser ii ⋆ my masterlist ⋆

When you were little, there were a group of predator hybrids who used to relish in causing you pain and anguish. They would ridicule you for just about everything, from your big doe eyes with its long sweeping lashes that would brush against your cheekbones when your eyes were closed to your longer than average neck that was narrow and would often elongate itself when you were absentmindedly trying to look far off into the distance. You had been bullied for your skinny frame and your long gangly limbs throughout all of elementary school where you had been a foot taller than the second tallest person in your class. You were constantly besmirched for having the smattering of pale freckles over your cheeks and nose, always being made to feel adequate for having visual indications of your deer and giraffe heritage.

From what you could tell, the only prey hybrids that were accepted in your small town in South Carolina, were the ones that had hybrid markers that were ambiguous and could have belonged to any number of species or the ones that didn’t have many visible hybrid markers at all. In contrast, the predator hybrids were allowed to delight in their own signs of hybridization. The worst of your bullies were a large group of big cat hybrids, containing both males and females’ hybrids of lions with the occasional leopard hybrid. From what you could tell, the lion hybrids of your small town enjoyed ruling over the place with their pride, and their children had learned from their toxic behavior, enjoying terrifying smaller predator hybrids by sneaking up on them and practicing their roars or by eating their lunches, from home, of entirely raw hunks of meat in front of prey hybrids causing them to throw up the contents of their own vegetarian meals.

All of this should have made you critical of predator hybrids and how they treated the prey hybrids of your town, but when you sat in the one room apartment that you shared with your mother, a lovely deer hybrid who had had you too young and was raising you by herself, you would do your arithmetic equations and stare at the poster of the University of Californian Hybrids, Los Angeles you had hanging up, and dream of escaping to a big city in a more progressive state where predators and prey could live in harmony with each other and might even sometimes be in relationships together. This was even worse than when two hybrids of the same class bred outside their species in your hometown. That’s what had happened with your mother and father. He was a D1 athlete who played on the basketball team of the university they had gone to and had broken your mother’s heart after she had found out that she was pregnant with you. It was one thing to date or sleep with someone who wasn’t the same species as you. It was an entirely different ordeal marrying them and having children with them.

You were desirous of a life where you could be with a predator hybrid because when you were six and had been pushed off of the top of the slides by a puma hybrid, who had waiting for her turn to slide after you, an adorable tiger hybrid who had been roughly the same age as you had squeaked out his attempt at a sonorous roar and scared off the girl and then had slid down to run to you, where you laid sprawled on the rubber floor of the playground clutching your sprained wrist. He had yelled for his grandmother to get you aid and had become your best friend up until the two of you had entered middle school and hit puberty. That was when Taehyung, who had been your fiercest defender against everyone who ridiculed your modelesque stature, and the way you had towered over everyone at your school, had fallen in love with a lion hybrid and started hanging out more and more with the crew of big cat hybrids after school. The final devastating blow that had severed your friendship with the male, forever? When the lion hybrid he had had a crush on, Miyeon, had made fun of your eyes, before you had to do a presentation for your world history class, and said they protruded and made you looked bug-eyed and then said that the only people who would ever find you attractive would be amphibian hybrids and Taehyung had joined her in her laughter. There was nothing wrong with toad or frog hybrids, but it hurt when the male you were in love with laughed and agreed that you were not attractive. That had made you spiral into a depression and made you determined that the following year, when you entered high school, you would do everything in your power to excel at school and to be extraordinary enough to not only get a ticket out of the prejudiced hellhole that was your hometown but to be able to afford to accept that ticket in the form of a full ride scholarship.

When you had finally moved to Los Angeles, your mother remaining behind because she said that the cost of living there was too expensive even though she would have loved to join you, you had reinvented yourself into someone who was self-assured and confident. Someone who had pride in all of the aspects that made her who she undeniably was. Also, when you entered university you were shocked at how many hybrids were taller than you, not only the giraffe ones. There were lion hybrids on campus that were taller than you, for the most part all of them were. That had made you squinty eyed and ask your mother how much inbreeding she thought the lion hybrids back home had partaken in since they were much smaller and much weaker than all the cat hybrids you had run into. And not to mention, undeniably ugly.

In fact, you were more aware that you were only half giraffe hybrid and not full, every time you walked around the campus where everyone was tall and beautiful. You had a full scholarship, a wide variety of friends from different majors, and had even dated a couple of guys. Your ex being without a doubt one of your worse decisions but at least it gave you experience right? But the point was, you had changed. You were no longer the scared skittish prey hybrid of the past that allowed big cat hybrids to walk all over her just because in the wild they were the “kings of the jungle.”

This is why it was particularly annoying that when Taehyung, yes that asshole went to the same school as you, had seen you across the room at a frat party and had lunged in your direction, you had been frozen like a deer in headlights and could not move. This had resulted in the jerk, whom you had not seen nor talked to since you stood next to him at your high school graduation ceremony, wrapping his warm large hand around your wrist and dragging you through the crowd of drunk hybrids up the stairs to the second floor to an unoccupied bathroom.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you groused, no longer the soft-spoken girl that he was used to. You were annoyed at how good he looked. He was shorter than you in your heels, but he was probably within an inch of your height if you both stood nose to nose and barefoot. He was wearing an animal print shirt that had short sleeves and exposed his chest, which looked irritatingly firm and was a sun-kissed gold. There was a band of cloth wrapped around his head like a bandana that made him look rakishly seductive. And his wavy tousled dark hair and heavy-lidded amber eyes made a devastating combination that made your panties wet with a rush of arousal. He sniffed the air and you prayed that he only smelled the clean linen scented air fresheners that overpowering the bathroom and not the scent of your arousal underneath it.

“I need a favor,” he admitted without preamble. You blurted out your refusal after the word “need,” interrupting him. “Oh, come on Y/N, we were close once,” he tried.

“Yeah when we were six,” you grumbled, crossing your arms across your shirt that tightened even more around the generous swell of your breasts. You upturned your face, gazing up at the vents on the ceiling as though you were contemplating your escape before becoming self-conscious of the elongated state of your throat and moved to fix your gaze onto something that was more your eye level: the towel rack that had been added to the door.

Taehyung sighed, if you didn’t agree to help him, he would be in a pickle. Moments before he had seen you at the party, he had been talking to the pretty sand dune cat hybrid he had been lusting over all of last semester. Unfortunately for him, it appeared that she was still in love with that jaguar hybrid Jimin who hung around her like a dark cloud. Not even two minutes into her and Taehyung’s conversation, Jimin had appeared and draped a possessive arm around her while he glared venomously and unblinkingly at Taehyung.

With a laugh Taehyung had said, “Look man I’m not trying to steal your girl.” Even though he was totally trying to steal his girl, “I have my own and my tastes are quite the opposite, not that you aren’t beautiful ___,” he added, flashing her a wide smile and throwing in a wink for good measure. Jimin was awkward and standoffish, not to mention he was kind of small for a wild cat hybrid. ___ needed someone who was big and strong and could adequately protect her and their cubs.

Jimin had only raised one elegantly shaped dark eyebrow at the statement and looked skeptically at Taehyung, “And where is this girlfriend of yours? This is the first I’m hearing about her.”

Taehyung had smiled tensely and looked beyond where they stood to where the room was more crowded into a crush, his gaze flitting from female to female as he tried to find someone he could pass off as a girl he had been seeing for a while. His gaze had found you in the throng. You had stood out from everyone else with your thin form, towering over a majority of the girls while you danced with a red solo cup in one hand and gracefully throwing your head back. Your long hair had revealed the sexy stretch of skin from the column of your throat to your bare shoulders that were all golden from exposure to the sun yet still had the faint smattering of freckles. He couldn’t shift his eyes from your figure.

His gaze was trapped on the sensual picture you had formed on the dance floor, writhing with confidence, and awakening in Taehyung an inexplicable need to hunt you down, throw you over his shoulder and drag you back to his lair to command your body and pleasure it. To undeniably exercise his ownership over you. It had been confusing because for all that Taehyung was a tiger hybrid, he had rarely experienced such an overwhelming need to chase and to hunt, to show that he was an apex predator and the king of the jungle.

Jimin’s eyes had followed the path that Taehyung’s eyes had made, and uttered after a surprised sound of disbelief, “Wow she really is different from ___. Is she even a cat hybrid?”

Taehyung had answered him with annoyance, not daring to shift his eyes from you, fearing that you would disappear in the crowd of the party if he took his eyes off, “She’s a mixed baby. A giraffe and deer hybrid.”

___ had let out an amazed gasp of astonishment, “That sounds like such an interesting pairing. Can I meet her, Taehyung? I wonder what life is like growing up mixed. Even more so, since Jimin and my kittens will be—”

Taehyung barely paid attention to her, his gaze was too focused on the deer hybrid approaching you. “I have to go,” he muttered, setting down his empty bottle of beer on the counter.

“Sure, of course,” hummed ___, “But remember to ask her about a double date, okay!”

This brought the two of you to the present. Taehyung’s eyes narrowed at the memory of that stag who had been sniffing around you. “Do you have a boyfriend, Y/N?”

You started at the abrupt change in conversation. Why would Taehyung ask you such a thing? Had he seen you shift away from Jongin before you had been unceremoniously dragged upstairs by him? “Not that it’s any of your business since we aren’t friends,” you emphasized mercilessly, “But that was my ex Jongin. That’s the last time I’ll date a deer hybrid,” you admitted reluctantly. “The men are so overbearing and territorial. And he can’t accept that we’re broken up since I was the one to break things off and not him.” The last sentence had you huffing in indignation.

“Hmm,” hummed Taehyung thoughtfully, instantly making you suspicious and raising the hairs on your body. “Have you considered a tiger hybrid for your next boyfriend?”

You side-eyed him. What the fuck. “No, I have not Taehyung. Why would you even say something like that? It’s hardly as though you’re trying to get that position.”

Taehyung bared all his teeth threateningly. It hardly could be passed off as a smile. “But what if I were, Y/N?”

“No.” You refused to even think about it and tried to shove past his body to get to the door and out of this confining space.

Taehyung wouldn’t let you escape so easily. He crowded you against the door. Although you had the height, he was still much bigger than you with wide shoulders and a body that was wrapped by hard ropes of lean predator muscle. “I have a proposition. If you pretend to be my girlfriend for a month, I’ll get that meathead to stop bothering you,” He murmured, meeting your wary gaze with his smoldering one, his deep honey colored eyes boring into your chocolate brown ones.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought about just how the tiger hybrid would go about making the deer hybrid to back off. “You’re still getting thrills out of intimidating prey hybrids?” you scoffed, “That’s disgusting, Taehyung.”

Taehyung stilled, thrown off for a second, before he once again bared his teeth in the loose semblance of a smile and uttered, “I just meant he’s a Neanderthal. Once he sees how happy and satisfied you were with me, not to mention how I am able to take care of your every need, he’ll take the L and leave you alone.”

You still weren’t sold. “But why do you need a fake girlfriend,” you asked in suspicion. You trusted Taehyung about as far as you could throw him, which was probably only half a yard away.

Taehyung lied to you bald-facedly, the untruth flowing from his tongue so smoothly that you didn’t even catch it, “Same as you. There are too many people who are dying to have a piece of me and it’s honestly distracting. I’m trying to get into to finish a really intensive and time-consuming project for my major. I don’t have time to waste on booty calls.”

“And you would never be tempted to have sex with me?” You asked, your eyes burning a hole into the stretchy fabric of his black and white shirt.

“Never,” agreed Taehyung, lying once again. This time his heart thudded loudly against his chest and he felt a pang that he didn’t want to think about too deeply.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution - Non Commercial - No Derivatives 4.0 International License

©OPALJM 2020

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soniaxdixon · 3 years

Text

The New World; Series Pt 2

Okay so this is my first time writing a fic and obviously will be my first series but I’ve just rewatched TWD for like the 17th time and my obsession with Daryl has reached new levels. I hope that it isn’t too shit and that you guys actually read/like it. Thank you in advance for baring with my average writing but I mean, how else will I learn? Anyway, enjoy!

Sonia x

Set pre to early season 1, back story for when the world ended.

Part 2 of ??

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger hot headed sister. When Rick gets shot and falls into a coma, Y/N’s world ends. Y/N Finds herself at a quarry near Atlanta with her nephew carl, sister in law Lori and her best friend Glenn where she meets her new family including the equally hot headed redneck Daryl Dixon. Over time Y/N and Daryl begin to form a friendship, finally allowing one another to open up to someone and maybe finding someone they can actually love.

Warnings! Slowish burn but the feels are there from the start, swearing, A little angst.

Words; 1774

This part focuses more on Season 1 Episode 3 ‘Tell it to the frogs’ We have a little reunion and start to explore Daryl and y/n’s relationship a bit more. - Sorry in advance if there are any errors, I didn’t really edit it properly

Like every morning, you were woken up by the sounds of your friends talking outside and the morning light forcing your eyes open. You rose, got dressed and stepped out of your tent your heart jumping when a big figure grabbed your shoulder suddenly, without warning.

“Jesus fucking christ, Daryl. A little heads up that you’re behind me next time? Shit.”

The ends of his lips curled into a small smile that made your stomach flip with butterflies. The power this man had over you already was immense. “M’ goin’ huntin’, shouldn’t be too long. Let Merle know if he gets back.” And with that, he was gone, not even giving you a chance to respond, his crossbow over his shoulder, hastily making his way into the woods. You couldn’t help but stare until his figure finally disappeared among the trees.

You looked over and saw Carl getting his haircut by Lori. He locked eyes with you and mumbled a plea for help. You shook your head and laughed at his suffering face. Catching on to the end of their conversation, you sat down next to Shane who was cleaning his gun.

“Frogs, plural”

“Why do we need ‘Frogs, plural?’” Carl questioned

You zoned out for a second, looking off in the direction Daryl had headed. Your mind suddenly racing. What happens if he comes across a walker? What happens if he comes across lots of walkers. Did he have a gun or just his crossbow? Why did he go alone?

“What do you think, Y/N?” Shane’s voice broke you from your silent panic.

You just stared at him for a second and he read your confusion, he knew you had a habit of zoning out. “Cajun style kermit legs, what do you think?”

“Oh, gross. No thanks.” Your face contorted with the thought of eating frog legs cooked by Shane. “You can keep your frog legs, I’d rather eat dirt.”

Your conversation was halted by the sudden sound of a car alarm.

“What the fuck?” You questioned, your eyes focusing on Shane.

“Talk to me, Dale?” Shane leapt from his seat and made his way over to the RV

You stood next to Shane, your arms crossed protectively across your chest.

The car sped up the hill suddenly screeching to a halt, Glenn climbing out of the drivers seat instantly being hounded by questions and yelling.

“My sister, is she okay?” Amy asked glenn over and over.

“Yes, she’s fine, everybody is. Merle not so much.”

Your stomach dropped quickly at the thought of Merle not being okay. What would you tell Daryl?

You turned and shuffled quickly towards your tent, climbing inside and finding your water bottle. You sat down for a few minutes, taking steady drinks. Poor Daryl you thought to yourself. You knew what it was like to lose a brother. You were drawn from your thoughts by the sound of a truck pulling up. Exiting your tent again you made your way over to Lori and Carl, placing your hands on the boys shoulders.

Everyone was reuniting and for a second, everyone was happy. You felt Carl’s shoulders begin to shake as he started sobbing. Lori knelt down and comforted him as he cried again for his dad.

“How’d y’all get out of there anyway?” Shane asked

“New guy, he got us out”

“Hey helicopter boy, come say hello. Guy’s a cop, just like you.”

You looked up at Morales’s words and felt your knees turn in. Tears filled your eyes as he stood there in front of you.

“Holy shit” was all that came out of your mouth before you saw carl running past you

“Dad!”

You’ve never seen the boy run so fast as Rick pulled him to the ground in a hug. Picking him up and walking to Lori. Your heart swelling with love as he let go of them and his eyes found you.

“Oh my God.” He uttered as he grabbed you and you finally allowed your knees to drop. He held you up as he hugged you, tighter than you have ever hugged before. You had him back. The only thing that could keep you calm. Your big brother was alive.

That night you sat around a fire and listened to Rick talk about his experience. Waking up in the hospital only to find the world had fallen apart. They spoke about Merle, how he was handcuffed to a roof in Atlanta, how T-Dogg had dropped the key, how they would have to tell Daryl.

You couldn’t think about it anymore, you pushed yourself off he ground and leaned down, placing a kiss on Carl’s forehead and hugging your brother one more time for the day.

You walked over to your tent and went to sleep for the night. As usual, the only thing on your mind was Daryl but tonight, it wasn’t the usual thoughts of what it would be like if you were together. Tonight they were thoughts flooded with worry.

————

You scrambled for your clothes in the morning, pulling on some blue jeans and a black tee, pushing your way out of your tent and over to your group. The sudden sound of screaming had you running before you could even register what it was, pulling your knife from its sheath you sprinted towards the sound.

“Carl?” You yelled, Lori’s voice followed yours with the same question as she and rick ran behind you.

Lori grabbed him, “Nothing bit you, nothing scratched you?”

You ran with rick and the others to the source of the screaming. A lone walker feasting on a big deer. A deer with bolts in its side. The men began to beat the walker, forcing it to the ground before Dale cut its head off.

Sudden rustling drew you from your thoughts as you watched the bush intently.

“Son of a bitch, that’s my deer” the southern drawl all too familiar. “Look at it all gnawed on by this, filthy, disease bearin’, motherless, poxy bastard.”

You followed him back into the camp as he yelled out for his brother, “Merle! Get your ugly ass out here, got us some squirrels”

“Daryl, slow up a bit, I need to talk to you” with the words that Shane said, your stomach began to churn.

“Bout what?”

“Bout Merle, there was a problem in Atlanta.”

“He dead?” Daryl asked, you could see the panic etching his face slowly.

“Not sure.” Shane answered

“He either is or he ain’t” obvious venom dripped from his words as he stared at Shane, waiting for his next answer.

Your eyes turned to Rick as he stepped in suddenly, “no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Rick Grimes”

“Rick Grimes” Daryl mocked “You got something you wanna tell me?”

“Your brother was a danger to us all so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked to a piece of metal”

Before you knew it, things escalated. Daryl threw the squirrels and pulled out a knife.

Within seconds the knife was on the floor and Shane had daryl in a choke hold. You couldn’t control yourself and you threw yourself at Shane, hitting his back, “Let go of him” You were grabbing at his shirt trying to pull him off when Glenn grabbed your arms as you struggled against him.

“Fucking let him go Shane or I’ll cut your fucking hands off.” At this point Glenn was forcing his hand over your mouth to shut you up and you finally complied when Shane let Daryl out of the choke hold.

You stormed off to your tent so you wouldn’t react again. Thoughts raced through your head. Why the hell did you do that, what on earth possessed you? You and Daryl had hardly spoken and yet you were suddenly threatening one of your closest friends just so he would let him go. Get your head on straight Y/N, Daryl’s gonna think you’re a crazy bitch now.

About 30 minutes later, Rick headed over to your tent to check on you, you had calmed down at this point but you were still pissed at Shane. “I’m taking, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dogg back into Atlanta to get Merle.”

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“No, I want you to stay here.”

You snapped “What the hell is with everyone thinking they have say in where I go.”

“I want you here in case something happens, You’ve taken care of Lori and Carl since the start and I need to know you will protect them while I’m gone.”

Your eyes softened as you shot him an apologetic look. “Where’s Daryl?”

“He’s in his tent, packing his bag.”

You squeezed ricks shoulder and found yourself walking to the edge of your camp, to Daryl’s tent.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry about your brother.”

“Why the hell would ya even care? Just leave me be” He was obviously hurt and his tone stung you.

“Geez okay, sorry for checking on you, prick.” You mumbled the last word walking away before his hand grabbed your shoulder, sending chills down your back as he quickly pulled away.

“M’ sorry. Thanks for checking.”

You just looked at him but your face eased out of the scowl you had before hand.

“Why’d ya jump on Shane like that before? I thought that asshole was your friend.”

“Yeah kinda. We grew up together, he Rick and I. He’s just kinda always been a part of my life ya know. When I thought I lost Rick, he became an even bigger part and I think seeing him dismiss your brother like he was nothing riled me up because I know what its like to lose a brother. I was just lucky enough that mine came back somehow.”

Daryl never broke eye contact with you, watching as slight tears stung your eyes when you thought about losing Rick. “You’re gonna find him. He’ll be fine and you’ll bring him back.” He just continued to look at you as his mind raced with thoughts. This was the longest that you two had spoken, you were actually telling him something about yourself and something in his chest felt like it was on fire. You reached out and he flinched slightly, you put your hand carefully on his shoulder. “He’ll be okay Daryl, You’ll be okay.” You gently squeezed as you turned around to head back towards your tent.

You heard him barely whisper “Thanks.”

“Come back in one piece please.” You whispered back, just loud enough that he could hear you and the fire in his chest grew.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x grimes reader #you x daryl dixon #y/n grimes x daryl dixon #y/n x daryl #y/n x daryl dixon #twd #twd fic #twd series #twd fic series #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

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slightlymore · 4 years

Text

I’m both

Genre: One-shot | Smut Pairing: Taeyong x Fem Reader Warnings: Spanking, light bondage, unprotected Word count: 3.8K Summary: Taeyong gets invited to your family’s New Year party. Described as a sweet, caring and shy person, you underestimate him big time

Note: this was so hARD to write, these days I’m out of fuel (I respect the literate community but it ain’t me), I also went through multiple mental breakdowns lol :) so I hope it’s any good (roast me in the tags, send me a diss, fight me in a parking lot)

MASTERLIST TO-DO LIST

“He’s the kindest young man I’ve ever met; every parent would want a child like him,” said your mother while finishing to set the table. You hummed as to indicate that you were listening but weren’t that interested. Your hands were busy folding red and gold napkins for the New Year Eve party your family was hosting.

Every year your family would host a small party with all the extended family, neighbours and friends. That year you’ve been more busy than usual (mostly mentally) since your mother thought that it would be wonderful to invite over the couple that she and your father met during the summer break while being on a vacation. They are wonderful people, she’s been saying for months now, and it would be a shame to not maintain the friendship, she added. Moreover, their son was being described as this Perfect Son TM, responsible, kind, smart, funny, thoughtful and incredibly good-looking. You sighed. You weren’t a perfect daughter, but you’ve never made your parents sad or angry. People have always complimented you on what a good child you were, and the appearance of this new Good Child made you anxious and jealous. “Did I tell you he’s absolutely gorgeous?” asked your mother as she finished to place the last decorations and was admiring them with hands on the hips. You took in a deep breath trying to not roll your eyes. “Yes, mom. He’s the best-looking man you’ve ever seen in your whole life” you replied. She looked over at you while frowning a bit. “Oh, come on, Y/N. There’s no reason to feel all this dread. I’m not setting you up with him. I just think it would be nice for you to become friends” she said. As she has said in other countless situations. Every situation in which your mom tried to “befriend you with this great boy” revealed itself to be a big failure. You shrugged. “I’m not feeling any dread, mom. It’s just not necessary for me to be all that excited to meet a guy. It’s just whatever”. Oh, and you were so wrong. It was not whatever at all. Most invitees were already scattered around the house when the doorbell rang for the millionth time that evening. You were the butler for the night, so you put on your best (fake) smile to greet the new guests, again. But it soon disappeared from your face as you saw your parents’ new friends. You weren’t expecting any of it. You didn’t know what to do. First of all, he (HE) didn’t look as you were anticipating. Like, at all. Is this the good boy people were talking about? Looking like that? You tried to look over at your mom, as the family entered the house one by one greeting you, as to telepathically tell her that “Mom! He has bright red hair and 20 piercings!” but she didn’t see you. “Mom! He has a split eyebrow!” you yelled in your own head as you shook his hand. But as he looked at you, with round and innocent eyes, and smiled while saying his name, Taeyong, you got confused. He was wearing a black, velvet suit and shiny shoes. His cheeks were a little bit red, maybe from the cold, maybe from being timid, and you relaxed a bit. As he turned around and kissed your mom on the cheeks, you saw him as your mother described him, sweet and cute as a child. You closed the door behind you and followed them, quite dizzy. Grabbing a drink, as they did, you tried to not stare. He didn’t look at all like you imagined. Not that he looked bad. He looked absolutely ethereal. For once, your mom wasn’t messing around and was right. He was definitely the best-looking man you’ve ever seen in your whole life. But his looks and his personality didn’t match at all. You found that rather charming and you acknowledged that you were intrigued. Taeyong’s voice was deep and pleasant and he and his parents showered you all with compliments on the food, the decorations and thanked for the invitation. They have never visited your city and were pleasantly surprised by how pretty it was. “Our Y/N, did most of the house decorations by herself,” said your grandfather, making you jerk your head into his direction. You were probably staring at Taeyong. “You mean, handmade them?” asked him, impressed, by looking at your grans first, then at you. Your family proudly said that yes, you handmade most of them and you opened your mouth as to say something as well but didn’t know what to add. “They are very good. You might as well sell them” commented Taeyong’s dad. You smiled at the compliment and thanked him. The conversation then moved around the room leaving you alone. You walked around hoping that Taeyong would come to talk to you, but he didn’t. You could see that he was glancing often in your direction and you understood that he was too shy to approach you first. At a certain point during the evening, you managed to move finally near him, as you both were munching on food by the buffet and looking awkwardly at the older people making a fool out of themselves. Taeyong was rather endearing. His looks were so intense that you’ve gotten shy as well at first, but his awkwardness gave you a little more confidence to approach him and you started to ask questions. He answered them all and politely asked you some as well. The music was so loud that you had to almost scream into each other’s ears and being so near him made you quite excited. It was probably the champagne talking but you were really bored and Taeyong was so cute that you wanted to have some fun. It was embarrassing and probably rude to assume (even if only in your head), but Taeyong didn’t look like someone who would have had a lot of experience. In fact, he was probably a virgin. “I can show you if you want to,” you said to him as he wondered how the process of crafting decorations went. He looked at you, a little bit taken aback, but then he agreed and followed you upstairs, to your room. You entered chatting away but then stopped as Taeyong went suddenly quiet. Looking behind your shoulder, you could not help yourself but giggle a little as you saw him hesitant to enter. “What’s wrong?” you asked. He was looking around your room with his hands in his pockets, trying to give off a nonchalant look. “Why?” he asked, after finally entering with a deep breath and looking immediately at your shelves, trying to hide his face. You smiled. “No, nothing,” you said in the end. He was really busy making himself concentrate on the objects in your room so he wouldn’t have to look at you. You ended up having to talk to his very attractive backline. You looked at his hair first, then slowly at his neck, his broad shoulders and his long legs. You were about to say something flirty to go on with your plan when he talked before you could. “Like what you see?” he asked. His voice was suddenly low and deep. You winced. He was looking at you through the mirror at his right. You couldn’t believe that he caught you checking him out. How dumb could you be? You were about to laugh it off, sure that he was feeling as embarrassed as you were, but then you noticed his eyes. Those weren’t his usual eyes. The corner of his lips was lifted slightly as to imitate his raised eyebrow. Instead of looking like a deer, he was more like a predator. You gulped. He turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked, almost lazily, just like you’ve asked just moments before that. He was very confident, almost cocky. He was another person. There was another person in front of you. Relaxed, with hands in his pockets, he tilted his head to the side, observing you. “Your vibe is totally different” you managed to say, hoping that it didn’t sound stupid. He laughed at your comment and for a split second, you could see the shy person that you’ve talked to the whole evening, before being totally overshadowed by this person that you’ve never seen before. “What do you mean? You look a little bit scared. Am I scary?” he asked. “No, not at all. You’re not scary, you’re just different all of a sudden” you tried to explain. “You’re… sexy” you added, hoping it didn’t sound weird. You thought that Taeyong would laugh and blush because you were definitely blushing and didn’t want to feel alone. He was playing. You were sure he was putting on an act to mess with you, just like you were trying to mess with him. He didn’t blush though, nor did he laugh. Or, better, he smirked, yes, he was amused, he liked the compliment a lot, but it didn’t embarrass him. You could see that. As if he knew already. You felt your heart shaking. You didn’t want to admit to yourself before, but Taeyong had such a powerful aura mixed with that soft personality of his, that it gave you confidence. You liked it when he was hesitant and shy to enter your room and you felt superior. You had no idea he had that other side to him, and you weren’t sure about your confidence anymore. “You’ve been checking me out all night. It’s flattering, coming from you” he complimented you as well. “Do you want to see how I did the decorations?” you blurted out, before realizing how stupid your change of subject was. You walked past him like wind and opened your crafting kit. He accepted the change in dialogue and didn’t add anything, he just got closer. Hoovering a bit over you he tried to look at what you were holding. “It’s actually very easy, you just have to…” you started to explain but froze as his fingers lightly brushed against your arm and shoulders. “Your dress strap fell” he explained in a low voice. His fingers were slightly colder than your body and you got goosebumps all over your skin. You forgot what you were about to say. “You just have to…?” Taeyong asked, seeing you silent. “Uhm…” you hummed uncertainly. Taeyong’s breath tickled your ear as he chuckled. “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?” he asked in vain, as you both knew the answer to that. “It’s funny how you brought me up here, hoping to make me feel nervous when in reality you’re the nervous one” he commented. You shut your eyes for a brief second trying to swallow the embarrassment of being found out. “What are you talking…” you tried to ask but couldn’t continue as he spoke over you, accompanying his voice with his hand on the small of your back. “What did you want to do to me?” he asked. You took in a deep breath. The same hand that fixed your dress strap just moments before, was the same that delicately made it fall again. Your goosebumps were back, and you shivered even more than before. Taeyong smiled. “You’re very sensitive” he commented, appreciative. “I’m curious to see how your body will react when I do this” he added as he placed the softest kiss to your exposed shoulder. You looked over it to watch him. One strand of hair fell out of his styled fringe covering his eyes that he promptly directed on yours. His gaze was dark but amused at your reaction. His plump lips hoovered over your skin for a little after kissing it. Your own lips were partially open when he quickly shortened the distance between your faces and even if you were expecting it, it still took you by surprise. It was a hot kiss, nothing to do with awkwardness and inexperience. His hands, placed on the small of your waist, slowly caressed your back up until reaching the top of your dress zip. You broke off the kiss to breathe at the same time as your dress started to fall gently off your body. The room was heated but you suddenly felt cold and tried to stop yourself from shivering. It was impossible though, as Taeyong’s fingertips were drawing intricated figures on your skin. You held firmly onto the edge of the desk in front of you, arching your back under his touch and closing your eyes. His hands didn’t stop for a second, endlessly feeling you, trying to find the spots that most make you jolt, before settling to your ass and grabbing it hard. You let out a low mm. “Do you like it rough?” he asked. His voice was low and amused. You looked over your shoulder again with a quickened breath. “Yes,” you replied. His pupils shook slightly at your honesty. Then he spanked you once. Hard. Then once again. The whine that escaped your mouth was louder than you intended so you quickly bit your lower lip. Your bra suddenly got replaced by his hands as he pressed you harshly against his body, pulling you close. You let your head fall on his shoulder as Taeyong hungrily pressed his face into your neck, kissing and biting every centimetre. His hands were restlessly squeezing your breasts and pinching your hard nipples. You could feel him pulsing against your ass, so you let your hand fall behind you and stroked him with your palm. He indulged a few seconds into the sensation before grabbing your hand by the wrist, turning you around and pushing you on the bed. You gasped surprised as you landed on the mattress, not expecting it, then propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him. Taeyong was at the end of the bed, smirking and taking off his jacket before delicately putting it on the chair behind him. Turning to face you again, he slowly opened his wrist buttons, almost if putting on a show for you to watch, and as slowly he rolled one sleeve first then the second, exposing his strong forearms. It was nothing, but it drove you insane as if he suddenly stripped of every piece of clothing he was wearing. Again, as slowly as before, he unbuckled his belt, but as he did with the shirt, he wasn’t intending of taking off his pants. With a fluid movement, he straddled over your legs and slowly made his way up to reach your arms. Your back hit the bed as he took your hands into his. He pressed his lips onto your wrists giving them sweet kissed before tying them up with his belt. You jolted a bit and hissed through your teeth as the rough material bruised your skin. He then proceeded to place them over your head delicately and hoovering over you he got as close as to whisper: “Don’t move”. Your chest was rising and falling quickly. You were a little afraid but so very excited by the unknown. “What are you going to do?” you asked. Taeyong didn’t reply and instead got back on his feet, admiring his work pleased. His eyes traced the line of your body, every curve, before stopping at your closed legs. He clicked his tongue as if disapproving. “Open up for me, love, would you?” he commanded. You breathed in, deeply, before slowly opening your thighs, completely exposed in front of him. He licked his lips at the view. His gaze was so strong that you were feeling as if he was already touching you. And after a whole minute of moving and fidgeting you were wondering why he wasn’t touching you already. “What’s wrong, babe?” he smiled, almost innocently. A wolf wearing a sheep mask. He was laughing at how needy you were. You puffed irritated but also amused. You had no idea how you ended up in that situation. Taeyong was supposed to lay almost naked under you while you teased him to death, definitely not the other way around. How the tables have turned. “Don’t be a coward and touch me” you finally spoke. Taeyong raised his eyebrows while pointing at his face. “Me? A coward?” he asked. You raised your chin provokingly. “Mama’s boy is afraid of some pussy? Is this the first one you see?” you teased him. He scoffed, incredulous and with a quick movement he teared up your frail, lace panties. You opened your mouth as to breath in but instead, a loud moan came out of it as he buried his face into you. He didn’t bother to get down on you and preferred to lift you up by your waist to meet his hungry tongue. You threw your head deeper into the pillows and closed your eyes. Your toes were curling at every millimetre of skin Taeyong tasted, rough and fervent. Oh fuck, you whined. Taeyong’s tongue drew quick and wet circles around your clit, then between your folds and deeper inside you, then out, then sucking hard, alternating kitty licking and hard tasting. His head then raised up from you and he let go of you. Your back hit the mattress with a muffled sound. You were out of breath and your wrists hurt badly as you tugged at the belt trying to lunge for the blanket underneath you. But Taeyong didn’t let you rest. He grabbed your legs hard and raised them up. Your thighs were touching your stomach as he roughly caressed them with his palms before directing them underneath you to hold onto you. He quickly made his way between your lips again, this time slower, sliding his tongue across your core a few times then adding his fingers to the action, rubbing onto your clit as his tongue proceeded to make you flinch every second. Your moans intensified as he switched and finally slipped them inside of you while his mouth erotically worked you up. “You’re driving me crazy with those whimpers of yours,” he said with a deep voice while following with the tongue the outline of your pussy. You moaned violently again as he arched his fingers inside of you, his mouth full of you. That sweet torture didn’t have to last long. With a last rub, the burning sensation spread across your whole body, through your blood, up to your head, leaving you all shaking and panting. With not a single ounce of force in your limbs, you looked at how your legs slid around Taeyong’s body until reaching the mattress. And that’s when you saw his smiling while smacking his lips like after a delicious meal. His eyes told you that it wasn’t over. You whined as he grabbed you by the waist and quickly turned you around. Your face was pressed against the pillows, your arms still stretched painfully over your head, your chest squished under you, your legs parted and your ass up. Taeyong hummed pleased rubbing his hand all over your buttocks, thighs and lower back. “Taeyong… I can’t take it anymore” you managed to say. He looked at you with furrowed brows as if concerned. “Oh no, what do we do?” he asked playfully. “I shall go then” he added trying to get up from the bed. “No” you stopped him. “No” you added more softly. “Please, just untie my hands” you asked. He thought about it for a second as he probably felt sorry for you. He got closer and tugged at your wrists. You rested on your side while he untied the belt looking at his face. His lips were red and swollen as he passed the tip of his tongue wetting them. You didn’t wait any longer. As your hands were free you pushed him down into the mattress and straddled him to keep him down. The surprised look on his face delighted you and made you laugh. “You’re finally mine” you whispered as you started to dry hump him on top of his pants. He looked up at you trying to talk back but the words got stuck into his throat at the sensation. He closed his eyes and started to breathe heavily. The fabric rubbing your already raw clit drove you insane and you didn’t have any force in your arms anymore. After a few seconds, you let yourself rest on his chest. Taeyong, getting a hold of himself, unbuttoned his pants, finally releasing his throbbing cock and directing it towards your core. You buried your face into his shoulder with a moan as it easily slid into you filling you up and stretching you good. He didn’t wait a single moment and wrapping his arms around your body he started to thrust hard. You let out a cry and between groans he hushed you, incessantly caressing your ass and back and pushing you against his hard body. Your nipples were rubbing up and down his shirt and you were feeling oversensitive, a whole mess. Taeyong let go of your waist and sliding his hands up he wrapped them up around your neck then on your cheeks. A few strands of his hair were stuck on his sweaty forehead as he was pounding deep into you. You supported yourself up as much as you could by placing your arms around his head making it easy for him to reach your breast. He didn’t miss the hint and started to suck on them while letting out husky moans. Eager to add to the pleasure you started to lightly tense the muscles around his cock making him swear. Out of control he threw his head on the pillows and grabbed ass hard, spanking it, leaving red marks. All your nerves were awake and burning. As you broke down, trembling from head to toe on top of him, he didn’t stop, quick and hungry until you felt his warm cum fill you up. Both panting, you slid off him slowly and rested on your back with not an ounce of force. Taeyong’s chest continued to rapidly rise and fall until finally settling down to a normal pace. He then zipped his pants and got up from the bed. You looked over at him as he walked towards the mirror and checking himself up, he tried his best to style up his hair like before. He then looked at you, still a mess, as he unrolled his sleeves and buttoned them up. His gaze was relaxed and his smile tired, almost shy. With a fluid movement he wore his jacket back and walking towards the bed, he hovered over you and surprisingly kissed your lips softly. Trying to get up again, you stopped him by lightly tugging at his collar. “Which one are you really?” you asked in a whisper. He looked at you sweetly. His cheeks were rosy from fatigue and you wondered, maybe slight embarrass. “I’m both” he replied with a smile before leaving.

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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years

Text

How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

#surveys #survey

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kendrixtermina · 5 years

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The Recruitment Freebies: Thoughts on Sylvain and Felix

Now when it comes to recruiting characters, there are 2 who kind of stand out and are, in their own way, somewhat ‘easier’ to get.

Sylvain joins you automatically if you’re playing fem Byleth, whereas Felix actually requires high stats/abilities that no one else does but since your primary weapon is most likely going to be a sword anyways and he requires sword skill, he’s actually not so hard to collect. Given that they’re both handy units (Felix kicks butt like no tomorrow, Sylvain is pretty customizable and gets a relic early on) you’re sorta encouraged to snatch one or both.

If you’ve seen them in their original environment, you’ll easily notice why: They’re kind of the kingdom’s token cynics.

[Longer Essay Under The Cut]

The Initial Situation

One thing that stands out right away is that the Blue Lions are one of the tightest-knit groups: The Black Eagles have sort of vaguely heard of each other because most the imperial nobility lives in the capital and the one commoner used to be famous, but that’s it, only Linhardt and Dorothea really express any regret over betraying Edelgard if they do, and their fates don’t differ that much by whatever faction they’re in - Ferdinand is certainly sad to see the Empire itself go down (see that amusing line about an ‘Adrestia-shaped hole in [his] heart’) and has a minor existential crisis when his family’s lands are confiscated after he spend his whole life preparing to rule them, but while he gets that line wondering what might have become of him if Byleth had chosen a different path, he pretty much always becomes a statesman no matter who winds up on the throne.

The Golden Deer, meanwhile, are from wildly different backgrounds and even Claude just showed up last year. If they stay together, they eventually become a tight-knit group under Claude’s leadership (except Lorenz, if Byleth’s not with them), and if you recruit em, they will largely pursue their own interests as they were never too unified to begin with, with most of the commoners saying they were never that involved in politics, and most of the nobles acting out of self-preservation or opportunism.

By contrast, most of the Blue Lions know each other personally and will be pretty conflicted about defecting from the Kingdom if you recruit them, and it’s no wonder:

Sylvain, Felix Ingrid and Dimitri were childhood friends and all big weapons enthusiasts, Dedue has followed Dimitri everywhere he went for the last few years, Anette’s father worked for Dimitri’s, Mercedes is Anette’s BFF from magic school and while Ashe didn’t know the others before since he was a poor village kid before Lonato took him in, he becomes fast friends with the rest of them due to their shared admiration of knight stories.

So in this more idealistic and old-fashioned groups, Sylvain and Felix can be thought of as the token cynics or more independently-minded characters. This is most obvious with Felix: He sticks out like a sore thumb, vocally expresses his dislike of the others and their values and basically keeps to himself on the training grounds, and its only through the other’s doormatsey dispositions that they seem determined to ignore his hostilities and continue considering him a friend whether he wants to or not. He doesn’t fit in with the other Blue Lions at all.

Sylvain, meanwhile, doesn’t stand out that much at first glance, he seems like another fairly common character archetype in the silly childhood friends lineup and gives Ingrid plenty of cause to get into Mom Friend mode, but the whole thing with him is that while he pretends to be a hedonistic oaf, he’s actually something of a brooding intellectual type underneath, very ‘byronic’ overall.

Ultimately, both of them are motivated by a desire for, and love of freedom. (which is probably why a lot of ppl think they’d be a compatible and interesting as a romantic couple - for all their outward difference, they have a common ‘core’ there) Sylvain has been treated all his life like his life and power don’t really belong to himself and he desperately strains against those binds by acting out, and Felix finds his countrymen to have a bit of a grostesque lemming mentality and wants no part of that.

At the same time both show their ‘cynism’ in very different ways, and neither of them is a ‘complete’ cynic, but the areas where you find their residual idealism are also different. I would say that Felix’ cynism is more apparent, while Sylvain’s runs much deeper, but more on that later.

Though he cares little about maintaining a reputation and indeed seems to sorta seek out or get a kick out doing what his father would hate, calling himself a ‘good for nothing/scoundrel/ someone who’s going to hell’, to sorta go against that pressure to be a good kid, when it comes down to it he’s actually still pretty honorable and does actually believe in The Power Of Friendship (as noted by both Ashe and Dimitri - it’s probably why they like him) He’s inclined to be a Good Guy, he just doesn’t want the pressure that goes along with it.

It reminds me a bit of that one Fiona Apple song: “Do I wanna do right? Of course./ But Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to/ answer you?/ Hell no!”

Felix meanwhile - well. Some might say he’s tsundere, and I suppose he is, stock phrases wise, but to put it more specifically what he is is counterdependent. Which is a word commonly used to describe that teenage behavior of always doing the exact opposite of what your parents or the mainstream do, thereby being just as influenced as a dependent person. It’s closer to being dependent than indepedent - He wants badly to be independent, but doesn’t really know how. He still very much has attachments to his father and his oldtime childhood friends, he just rejects them fiercely, because between Glenn’s death and his first deployment to Sreng, he came to see that attachment as something that will destroy him, something incompatible with self-preservation. He still dearly loves Rodrigue, Dimitri and the others, but he doesn’t want to be like them. He wants to be free, he’s a reasonable man and sees that they’re all walking off a cliff and he doesn’t wanna jump of of it, but his opposition is so absolute because some part of his kind of wants to.

At the same time he’s not entirely a complainer for complaining’s sake. Though very fighting-focussed he has his own strong code of ethics and standards- Dimitri markedly falls short of them. They’re not that different, Felix too feels the wide open wound of being still bonded and attached to people who aren*t there anymore (”Training for a duel with a corpse”, as he puts it) - But while Dimitri let it eat his life (though there’s more complexity here of course but that would derail this into a whole different essay), Felix kinda errs on the opposite side of pushing down all attachment, but at the same time, he does it because he’s concerned with saving the ones who are still alive. That’s the point he stresses in his paralogue where he argues with his father, “We’re here to protect our subjects”. He wants to protect himself, yes, but he also wants to protect other people. He’s all about that. He wants people to protect themselves not glorify throwing their lives away.

Which is why despite all his vocal complaining he still ultimately hangs out with the others, cannot help but worry about their wellbeing etc. They might be negative bonds now but they’re still very much bonds.

Meanwhile, in Sylvain’s case the cynism comes not from rejection but disillusionment and distrust. He’s a good guy but his ability to form bonds is almost completely destroyed. All his life he got showered with fake conditional love while being presented with an example of what would happen if he didn’t stay in ppl’s good graces: His brother, who’d been dropped like a hot potato. I don’t think he can think of himself as good; He kinda got treated as an unfair existence the moment he came into the world. At least if you get no love, you still have the hope that you might eventually get love. But fake love? Fake love poisons everything. It’s disgusting wrong, it’s not really for you and it just makes you wanna get rid of it by any means neccessary. Speaking from experience here.

Apart from the bonds he got with his childhood friend and those with exceptional people skills like Byleth, Mercedes and Dorothea, he doesn’t really trust anyone beyond a certain level.

But that’s a subtle distinction.

At first the most apparent difference, and the first contrast to come up in their support chain, is focus. Felix responded to the unpleasantness in his past with absolute laser focus, particularly on fighting and becoming stronger, whereas Sylvain avoids ever the appearance of focus like the plague, downplays his capabilities and chases distractions in a way that may be rather relatable to those of us who had the whole weird-ass Gifted Child Experience. Hence, Sylvain might come off as extravagant/frivolous while Felix appears disciplined, even ascetic.

This is also apparent in how its implied that they “jump ship” - Sylvain does it on a whim because of fem Byleth’s ample bosoms, (whereas man Byleth needs to impress him with reason skill which ties more into his hidden dephts) whereas with Felix it would tie into his pursuit of strenght and how he focusses on that more than anything else. Byleth stands out as a badass, so Felix juins his class or that’s his reasoning in the dialogue he gets.

But at the same time what we see here is that both were born with great natural power but don’t want that defining their lives. Sylvain downplays and refuses to use his, while Felix is determined to get straight that he actually “earned” through his harsh discipline and dedication, and vocally disavows conventional wisdom (”Crests, lineagle, knighthood... all trifles. Only strenght and skill matter”)

Post-Timeskip

So while a lot of characters like, say, Dorothea, get alot of the same dialogues in each route, others kind of get different little arcs depending on where they end up - for example if you recruit Lorenz for the empire he will at first join out of pure opportunism (that, and trying to get mercy for his corrupt-ass father), but then towards the last few months, he’ll actually come around to Edelgard’s way of thinking.

Felix is one of the characters whose dialogue differs the most by route - church & Alliance overlap a lot though with a few pointed differences, and his ending narrations are totally different depending on whether you recruited him or left him with the Kingdom. Of course, this would have to differ to an extent as he can’t exactly become Dimitri’s right hand when there’s no Dimitri, but the outcomes are starkly different to the point that even his paired endings with different characters all have two versions.

In the Kingdom route he generally succeeds his father whereas in the other routes, he typically renounces his title and becomes a mercenary unless his partner or BFF convinces him otherwise.

Unlike, say, Ferdinand, who does about the same thing regardless of who he ends up working under, for Felix the decision to ditch his classmates is a big big turning point, a choice

Sylvain by contrast has rather more similar endings wherever he goes and his dialogues are more similar - one highlight being how he has the exact same “history is written by the winners, whoever wins will say they’re right war will probably always exist...” lines regardless of whether he’s fighting for or against Edelgard. Whenever he isn’t commenting on the weather of their next destination or the general suckyness of the war, he remains mildly sceptical of whatever side he’s on, including one memorable instance where he refers to poor Hubert as “Edelgard’s idiot sidekick” and thinks they should try more negotiating, though he’s not blind to Dimitri’s flaws either when they go fight him.

Not really a big joiner or believer, this one, no illusions about how they could always be wrong, which perhaps makes it more touching how he invariably ends up becoming a peacemaker and activist after the war, basically becoming a fulltime do-gooder.

Since the inner mechanics with Felix are quite different, so are his outcomes. Sylvain’s gonna be like “I’m not optimistic but I gotta try doing the right thing”, no atter who he’s following, but you get a whole different Felix depending on what route you’re playing.

Because for him, wether to stick with Team Kingdom or not kinda represents a choice between his lingering attachment and his drive to reject that.

In the Kingdom route, he stays a lot more like he was in his academy days: Complains a lot, but still sticks with everyone to the end. He sort of fills the role of the contrarian number two, the one providing a contrastic viewpoint (while, Sylvain, while not optimistic, is no less stubborn about sticking with a friend in need than the rest of Team Kingdom)

He comes across as the Only Sane Man at times, esp. when he calls Titanic on the whole Revenge Trip to Gronder, “Iceberg ahead? ya’ll seeing the iceberg right?” but of course if you’re just complaining you’re kinda part of the problem - He muses that he must be crazy too, if he’s going along with everybody. Can’t bring himself to leave. Eventually that attachment wins out and he doesn’t even bother hiding it especially once Dimitri gets his act together. At that point he figures that the best he can do is to keep him on-course. Though they don’t go back to the same dynamic they once had, they go back to being BFF and the new dynanic is probably more useful to Dimitri as a counterpoint, they pretty much each succeed their fathers in proper Kingdom Manner and stay an A-team for the rest of their lives just like their das were. Idealism triumphs, though it’s a more matured, well-thought out one that is less about high standards and more about forgiveness/redemption.

It seems like he kinda became what he didn’t want to be early on (in the paired ending with Dimitri he even winds up in one of those chivalric tales he used to hate!), but it also looks like that made him happy. Maybe because it resolved the contradiction and tension within himself, all the energy he expends in rejecting his feelings of attachment, to like, actively not care about Dimitri.

I mean in their B support at one point he almost accidentally lapses back into Nerding Out About Swords Like Old Times - He needs to actively remind himself that he’s supposed to hate Dimitri now, and he does an even worse job at No Longer Liking the others.

Indeed when he gets what he ostensibly wanted, or rather what he wants to want, it doesn’t seem to make him all that happy - This was indeed the realization that prompted me to do this analysis. He goes full lonesome cowboy and marches off and he doesn’t sound all that happy about what he’s done, and his paired ending with Sylvain is one of the ones that makes it very obvious - In the Kingdom route, they stay Together Forever as they were in childhood, like they never got estranged at all. In the other routes it’s a sad, melancholic, darkly romantic thing about how Sylvain inherited his title, Felix came to help him out once and they never saw each other again, and Sylvain eventually gets a keepsake from Felix... and this is if you recruit them both. They get a sad enough dialogue if you grab only one and make them fight each other, but even if they run away together, essentially, they don’t become happy together.

The circumstances aren’t that different, if they still wound up in the same faction - But Felix is different.

Because he doesn’t just leave because of Byleth’s heroic charisma like many of the others - He goes because, in essence, he is putting his pursuit of strength over his lingering attachments for his friends. To leave the kingdom means to actually become what he pretends to be. To actually become a lonewolf warrior who cares only about strenght rather than an ultimately loyal tsundere.

Which is where the above rambles about counter-dependency come to bear: He says he doesn’t care but he does, so much he can’t stop. So to take this step, which at the time seens reasonable and sane and free to him, is to cut off part of himself.

Though even here there are different gradations depending on where you recruit him to.

In the Alliance and church routes he simply jumps ship on the kingdom out of self-preservation. Sanity before Honor, just like he was always talking about. The kingdom’s in horrible shape, it can’t win, or so he sees it, Sylvain’s reasoning is pretty much the same but more resigned/sad (”There was nothing I could do”), after all for all they know, Dimitri is long dead (though Felix, always one with keen insight, suspect him to be alive a bit before he shows up)

Then Dimitri turns up alive, but promptly gets himself killed, and Felix regrets it. Every bit as much as other kingdom characters. He wonders if he could have stopped Dimitri if he’d been with him. He channels this into avenging Dimitri first on the empire and then on TWSITD, and starts using his name at this point.

Tellingly enough, he refers to the local afterlife beliefs that are so prominently featured in the Kingdom route. The ones that Rodrigue taught to both Felix and Dimitri and that likely played a role in the latter’s inability to forgive himself for all that Rodrigue is largely a good man who was a positive influence. He talks about “facing” Dimitri in the afterlife or allowing him to rest in peace much like Dimitri’s own talk about appeasing the dead - As much as he’d like to be Felix was not actually immune to his upbringing. basically he really regrets it.

The church and alliance routes differ somewhat in the dialogue before the last stage in a way that makes the church route seem “milder” - He considers working under Byleth once they become King/Queen, so he doesn’t seem quite as “lost”, whereas in the alliance route he expresses interest in dueling Nemesis. Not that far beyond his usual “must fight worthy opponents/ blood knight attude” but certainly more of an embracement of it and also very reckless, since as far as we knew the zombie horde is blazing an almost unhindered trail through the land and pretty much had Hilda’s renowned invincible brother for breakfast.

The empire route, of course, requires him to go even further - it’s one thing to evacuate a sinking ship, another to go a path where there’s a good chance that he’ll have to go against, and even fight/kill his former comrades. The game sure included tons of unique dialogue for this. You can even have his feud with his father end quite lethally, and Dimitri will even comment on it when you engage him. Ouch!

Right after the holy tomb scene most the recruitees’ dialogues are either some variation of “I’m scared but I trust you sensei” or “Now that she’s actually explained her reasoning, Edelgard’s got a point” - Felix’ is neither.

Though he’d presumably agree that Crests and Status are overrated, that’s not what he talks about. He says he wants to forge his own path, one that isn’t his father’s or Dimitri’s.

He may or may not be doing the right thing but it’s for the wrong reason.

It’s a decision that’s perfectly logical if you feature in all factors except for his own heart - by which I don’t mean some bullshit 19th century “head vs heart” contrast but simply self-knowledge, which is necessary to make choices that you won’t regret, especially when the ‘correct’ path is ambiguous.

He wants to be free, deeply and desperate but, there’s also the counterdependency in play. He’s not going with the Empire because he wants to go with the empire, but because he wants to go against Rodrigue and Dimitri. Rejecting them to prove to himself that he can.

And turns out he can. He can cut em all down, with fairly unfazed Dialogue about how he’s going his own path, will never bow to the likes of Dimitri, will pursue strenght no matter who stands in his way etc.

They all curse him for betraying him, only Sylvain who’s not the sort to have much certainty about being right, gets more of a “sad/tragic” line about their childhood promise.

But that’s on the battlefield. Back at the monastery it’s a different matter. In this route he shows significantly LESS regret about what happens to the kingdom peeps - after all, he knew he’d be fighting them. He’s just completely embraced the ‘living to fight’ thing here and you get the sense that some other parts of his may have been lost in the process.

Ironically he says he killed more ppl than he can count and that he’s practically as bad as Dimitri now (”Your better world better be worth this”, indeed...) and while he’s completely unflinchingly resolute he’s not exactly unphased.

You can certainly understand why he’d end up as a restless sorta wandering mercenary (interesting, too that if you pair him with Byleth they’ll go with him - interesting enough in its own right since that’s the sort of life they use to have before coming to the academy)

So I guess this could all ultimately be seen as a parable on ‘be careful what you wish for’, or, more accurately, ‘know yourself before making wishes’.

#fire emblem three houses #fire emblem: three houses #sylvain jose gautier #felix hugo fraldarius

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moeruhoshi · 5 years

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Uh yeah don’t read this its dumb and inonsistent I wrote it right after I woke up and needs to be fixed

Lucy’s mother had always warned her, that whenever she wanted to go out, she had to be extremely careful. There was no knowing what lied in the woods beside their home, and the world was vast, even containing creatures beyond the natural world.

They were myths and legends to most, no one really believing they were real. There was only so much one could believe until they were too old and adopted the belief that myths were truly just myths.

Not that Lucy was a believer or non-believer, she lied on the line between them.

She had yet to see a strange beast or magical entity to provide any proof...but the way her mother warned her, with such dramatic details and explicit instructions, there was room for doubt in her heart.

Lucy never left the house without her mother’s provided essentials, which was only a small vile containing a preserved essence of some odd flower she long forgot the name of. Her mother told her it would keep her safe, that it would ward off even the sharpest of noses from finding her scent.

Lucy always left it on her dresser once the day had ended, so that she’d never forget to bring it along with her. Not that she ever understood why or thought of what could be looking for her.

The blonde lived a peaceful life alone, in a cottage surrounded by an equally peaceful forest. There were no carnivorous animals nearby, only squirrels and deer and tweeting birds. The walk into town only took a good twenty minutes, where everyone knew and cared for her well.

She was a famed beauty, but no one wished for her hand, as she was much too good of a friend to them all and knew she would not stay here forever.

Lucy wanted to travel and see the world, but had yet to be able to part from her childhood home. Saying goodbye to her passed away mother, not knowing when she’d be back to greet her in the mornings as usual, was too painful a thought for the poor blonde to bear.

So she lived her life, wrote and read and played, never forgetting to keep her mothers keepsake close to her form.

But unbeknownst to her, she was watched very carefully from the shadows of the trees.

That vile contained a pungent mixture able to cast a barrier with its scent, yes, but only affected low level creatures and semi-powerful deities. It would not work against a king, who had the ability to smell even the smallest grape continents away.

She and her blood were rare, a child born under the fullest and reddest moon, with blessings from the stars and bestowed the gift of luck. She clearly lived her life not knowing these things, eager and carefree, unsuspecting of any real danger.

Although he looked villainous and dangerous in his true form, his lordship was nothing of the sort. Etherious Natsu Dragneel was able to place fear in the hearts of his subject through an impressive glare and intense demeanor, but he was kind and benevolent all the same.

Finding Lucy had been a mistake, but one he would turn into great profits for his kingdom. She would be his bride soon enough, as he was determined to swoon and sway her weak heart in his favor.

He revealed himself to her, every so often, under the guise of a traveling adventurer.

Each time he visited, she would welcome him with open arms and felt more than happy to cook a hearty feast to sate his intense hunger.

He sat this time, waiting against her cottage gate, dressed and disguised as a successful adventurer. It wasn’t hard to fake the job, as he had seen more in his life than she’d ever be able to comprehend. His ears twitched as he heard her approaching, the beating of her heart increasing when her eyes landed on his own.

Their relationship had always been friendly, Lucy not knowing Natsu’s true intention to wed her. Every month or two he would return with stories for her, describing far off lands, Lucy hanging on to every detailed word.

It had been nearing the end of the first year of their friendship when Natsu first kissed her goodbye. It was a sweet and subtle, and only on the cheek, but surely would be stuck in Lucy’s mind until she saw him again. He knew by the red tint to her cheeks once they saw each other again that she thought more of him, two more cheek kisses until he aimed for her lips.

Lucy was unprepared and inexperienced, redder than a tomato after a simple peck. Natsu licked his lips as the pumping of her blood enticed him to toy with her more.

But he left, and returned again, each time he kissed her marking another month.

It had been six months till he taught her another form of kissing. This time it was deep and warm and stole her breath. He held her against the wall, searing lips molding over her own before he introduced their tongues to one another. It took nearly all of his strength to resist taking her in that moment, the image of her swollen lips, teary eyes, and panting chest, all too stimulating for the young king.

But in that moment, he had folded some of her fallen hair behind her ear, hot lips kissing her cheek lightly before he whispered in her ear,

“I know this is a bit sudden, but is it alright if I call ya mine, Luce?”

“Y-Yes...”

The king was proud of his work, of being able to gain her trust and being able to be the one who held her so gently.

The few months after that moment, he would greet her with a kind kiss, and say goodbye with a steamy one that would surely leave his princess begging for more.

Tonight, after his months of being away, he would take things to the next level, and reveal his truth in hopes that she would come away with him.

Lucy had always liked Natsu, even if she wasn’t honest with herself at the beginning of it all.

He was funny and quirky and different from anyone she had yet to meet. She was infatuated and jealous of his lifestyle, but learned just how hard it was to be out in the world by yourself. Natsu was strong and experienced, while Lucy only lived through tales created by others and her imagination.

When he proposed they date, Lucy was more than eager to say yes. He was someone she admired and loved to be around, and she always wished he’d come back just as soon as he left.

No one in the villiage knew, but when they asked if Lucy was interested in finding a man, she would explode in an intense blush and deny the subject completely. Which in turn allowed everyone to believe that she was simply too innocent for those kinds of things.

She wondered if he would take her away now, if they’d live their lives together on the road until she bared his child. It was a flustering thought, but Lucy wanted a baby that would allow them to settle in a nice town, where they’d live and work and be happy together.

When she approached her home on this spring day, hands full of a basket piled with vegetables and packaged meat, Lucy felt her heart pound erratically in her chest. She could see his smile spread as she came over the hill, his arm raising to wave excitedly at her. He rose and dropped his things off his back, jogging quickly to meet her.

“Heya, Luce! I’m back!” He grinned, quickly taking the food to carry instead.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” Lucy commented, feeling shy as she watched his arms flex when adjusting his hold on her basket. “I’ve missed you, Natsu,”

“Yeah, I missed ya too! I’ve got a ton of stories to tell you, alright? I think you’ll really love these ones this time,”

They usually sat around her table, plates of food filling every empty spot, Natsu relaying his tales of slayed beasts and mythical encounters, of his injuries and towns he would stay in. To be clear though, he never bluffed even as he hid his true identity. The king gave himself time to experience the world for Lucy, to be able to tell her of battles and strange places with delicious food.

And when the darkest of night met the flaming wick of candles lit to surround them, Natsu took Lucy into his arms with slight amusement. She blushed and cowered against his chest, mewling as he pressed kisses to her cheek to coax her out.

“Lucy,” His deep voice purred in her ear, sending shivers down the blonde’s back. “Won’t you let me kiss you?”

“...wouldn’t that mean you’re going to leave?” She asked, quietly clinging to the fabric of his tunic.

“Not tonight,” He shook his head and pressed his lips to her throat, delighting in the surprised gasp she let out. “I want us to spend some time together, if that’s okay with you,”

“W...Will you take me upstairs?” Lucy fumed with a blush as Natsu effortlessly lifted her into his hold, walking them both up the stairs and to her bedroom.

Lucy let Natsu take the lead as she was laid onto her back, his eyes never leaving her own.

“Tell me when to stop, okay? I won’t go any farther than you want,”

“Okay,” Lucy’s chest heaved with heavy breathes as Natsu loomed over her, his sly smirk leaning in to meet her quivering lips.

His kisses always made her so relaxed, as if she were sedated with pleasure. His lips were hot and demanding, leading them in a dance of suction and seduction. Her arms wrapped weakly around his neck as he leaned into her, swallowing her moans and spilling saliva. He suckled on her tongue, nipping it with his teeth, lapping at the blood lucky enough to grace his palate. She was delicious, beyond so even. The smallest drop of her blood made him crave more.

The crook of her neck called to him as she crooned, mouth left messy as he tended to the more sensitive parts of her body. His golden eyes threatened to reveal themselves as he smothered hickeys and soft bites against her concentrated scent.

His hands fondled her well endowed chest as he kissed her again, craving the taste of her breathy pants of his name fading between them.

“May I undress you?” Natsu asked as his lips pressed against her décolletage, thumbs pushing against her stiffened nipples.

“Yes...” Lucy’s voice was barely above a whisper as her mouth was too numb to talk, but Natsu heard her perfectly. He pulled her dress down her shoulders, kissing each section of revealed skin until her breasts were in full view.

“You’re beautiful,” Natsu chuckled as Lucy turned away, her lips in an embarrassed pout as blood rushed onto her face. Her pale, untouched skin, begged to be bathed in bite marks and her own blood so that he could lick every inch of her globes clean.

“Thank you,” She responded shyly as he continued to rid of her clothing. Tossing the dress to the side, he returned his attention to the stiff buttons that he wanted to touch.

Lucy flinched as his tongue grazed her sensitive place, Natsu’s mouth instantly attaching to the bud as he began to suck on her. She moaned as his other hand squeezed her breast, warmth subtly flowing into her flesh. She relished in the treatment, feeling heat and sticky liquid make its way onto her panties.

Natsu couldn’t wait till he was able to draw blood from her, his teeth begging to be allowed entrance into her expectant body.

His kisses and torment fell to her stomach, just above the line of her panties. Lucy squeaked and quickly sat up, scooching away from Natsu as he was still bent over.

“N-Not yet! I’m sorry, but there...not yet,” Lucy panted as she tried to collect herself, gulping as Natsu looked up to greet her with a calm gaze.

“That’s alright, I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?” He asked, pulling her blanket up to hand to her.

“N-No, not at all! It was very nice, really, I-I’m just not ready...”

“I understand,” He laughed and crawled forward to sit beside her, Lucy finding a steady breath as she settled down.

“I’m really happy, you know?” She spoke up, sliding her hand into Natsu’s hold. “I care a lot about you,”

“As do I,” Natsu said as he tightened his hand around her own. “Can I ask you something selfish?”

“What is it?”

“...I’d like you to come away with me,” He said honestly, turning to face her wide eyes. “I want us to be together, every day, every moment, every minute.”

“Really?”

“Really really, Luce. I don’t want us to be apart ever again,”

“I-I...oh, wow...that’s...” She stared at him in disbelief but found herself able to smile at his words. “Natsu...I would lo—“

“There’s just one thing...” He interrupted her, eyes downcast as he stood from the bed. “I haven’t been very honest with you, Lucy.”

“...about what?” She asked, pulling her blanket closer to her.

“I’m not really who I say I am,” He began, turning to her with scorned eyes. “I’m not some adventurer, nor do I live like one.”

She was quiet as he continued, Natsu hearing her heart drop ever so slightly.

“I’m the king of Tartaros, a kingdom of demons hidden from the human world. And I want to take you back as my queen.”

“What...what kind of joke is that supposed to be?” Lucy choked back her tears as she glared at the pink haired boy standing awkwardly by his lonesome. “Do you think I’m an idiot, Natsu? Have you been fooling me this whole time just to get me in bed?!”

“N-No, Luce, I swear, I mean it!” He said quickly in retaliation, avoiding her slippers as she chucked them in his direction.

“Were any of those stories even real? If you’re not an adventurer, then how am I supposed to believe anything you say? A king of a secret country?! Just because I live in the countryside does not mean that I—!” Amidst her escalation, Natsu was quick to prove his true nature. He grabbed her arm despite her immediate refusal to be near him, and sunk his teeth into her wrist, drinking the pure fluid that ran within her.

Lucy blanched as she watched Natsu feed from her, his gulps thick as blood trickled down her arm and his chin. Golden eyes shone at her as she slid down to her knees, the phantom warmth of his body against hers returning as he continued to drink.

“You...mean so much to me, Luce. I couldn’t tell you who I was right away, you would’ve reacted like this, you know?” He chuckled as he licked his lips clean. “I wanted you to get to know me, so I lied about who I was. But those stories I told you were true! I did those things just so I’d have a reason to talk to you when I came to visit. I want to be with you, Luce, and I’m sorry for lying,”

“I...” Lucy panted and held her wrist shakily up to stare at the damage done to her skin. She watched her wound close and the blood stop dripping, the effects of his bite still coursing through her. “I forgive you...”

Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she rubbed her thighs together, finding it impossible to ignore the swelling between her legs.

“Really? You’re the best, Luce!” Natsu grinned as he gathered her in his arms, hugging her tightly. Lucy squeaked uncharacteristically as his touch only proved to stimulate her. The vampire pulled away to quizzically look at her, eyes widening as he caught scent of her arousal.

“Na-Natsu,” Lucy fwaed as she clung to his arm, groaning as her center continued to pulse. “What do I...do?”

“Is it okay if I...?” Natsu motioned to her shaking legs, Lucy nodding as she leaned against his chest.

“It’s a result of my bite, but I knew that was the only way you were gonna listen,” He explained, slowly sliding his hand into her panties. “It releases a concentrated aphrodisiac, to keep anyone bitten from feeling pain. You’ve just gotta let it out of your body, and you’ll be okay,”

Lucy’s thoughts turned to mush under the effects of Natsu’s venom, unable to gather a single sentence within her mind as his finger began rubbing against her sensitive button.

His hand relished in the warmth of her honey pot, sticky fluid flowing from her center as her wetness refused to calm down.

She bucked her hips and mewled as he rubbed quickly against her clit, her climax coming as soon as he touched her. She jolted and drooled, crying out as her first orgasm graced her intensely.

“Not enough...Natsu, more...”

He refused to do more than toy with her most sensitive point of release, knowing Lucy was too out of it to give him proper consent. She hadn’t wanted him to see he before, so he kept his hand stuffed down her panties and out of sight, neither wanting to penetrate her virgin core so lovelessly with his fingers.

Her sloppy and delirious mouth pulled him in for a kiss, damaging his sense of concentration as her lips soiled his thoughts. He couldn’t wait for the day he held her in his own bedroom chambers, the silk curtains of his four-post bed drawn shut as she revealed himself to her in all the beautiful glory that she existed.

#eh tell me if you like this #fairy tail #nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #natsu and lucy #natsu x lucy #nalu fanfiction #lucy and natsu #lucy x natsu #fairy tail nalu #etherious natsu dragneel #endlu #endlu smut #endlu fanfiction #e.n.d and lucy #e.n.d x lucy

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sxnguinesxnctum · 4 years

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—real name: Laurence. No last names, no second names. He’s always been just Laurence.

—single or taken: verse dependant, mostly; but, for no matter what, still complicated

—abilities or powers: he got into swordfighting and climbing as a child, and with time he understood that, while it’s still better to rely on his Hunters when it comes to more complicated and dangerous battles, he should sharpen both of those skills, taking the liberty of learning how to use a gun as well despite his general disliking for those weapons; when it comes to powers, instead, they all came after he started studying the Great Ones, learning to summon the Augur and the Call Beyond in his late life. Drinking the Holy Blood allowed him to open his eyes and see the secrets of the Cosmos, allowing him to access to the Nightmare and see the creatures that lurk around Yharnam

—eye colour: azure, closer to white than blue; the overuse of the Holy Blood made them brighter, closer to a strongly saturated cyan, contrasting his bloodshot whites. —hair colour: light blonde — height: 180cm (5′11′’)

—family members: unknown; he was left at the doorsteps of Byrgenwerth as a newborn, and as far as he knows his parents died shortly after; Master Willem took him in as a son, but despite the fact that he owes the man his life Laurence stopped seeing him as a father and more as a jailer at a very young age

—pets: N/A

—something they don’t like: being understimated and talked over, anything that could hurt his people, being kept in the dark; with time, the beasts, the Vileblood and even the Choir, after their experiments on the orphans is unfolded, join the long list of people hed rather not see ever again

—hobbies/activities: reading and studying, mostly, but simple walks around the town are also great; other than that, as said before, he tries to keep himself physically active, practicing his blade skills

—ever hurt anyone before: yes.

—animal that represents them: a deer. a deer with wolf fangs.

—worst habits: tends to think of himself as above everyone else, easily snapping or jumping to conclusions whenever someone tries to make him change his mind. He rarely forgive and forgets.

—sexual orientation: bisexual

—thoughts on marriage/kids: while not particularly interested into marriage, he wouldn’t mind the idea of having kids of his own.

—style preferences: while for the most part he’s always seen with his Church clothes, Laurence has a taste for the refined. Often wearing gold and whites, he opts for semplicity and as little layers as possible, still making sure to have some small details on his clothes and use the best materials.

—approach to friendships: it’s complicated. He never used to hang out with many and can be generally considered an introvert. Even in Byrgenwerth he had problems interacting with most kids his age, opting to stay with just the few he felt a connection with right away. And ignoring how most of the other students didn’t even like him that much to begin with, but that’s another story. Now, in his current position, he barely has time to form new friendships and the one he had feel like they’re slowly deteriorating. He manages to keep most of his high rank Hunters close and he could easily consider a few members of the Church something vaguely resembling a friend but... ...it’s not something he likes to think about.

—thoughts on pie: they’re ok. He doesn’t mind chocolate pie, but it isn’t his favorite dessert.

—favourite drink: red wine is always a good choic

—favourite place to spend time at: his own room, in front of the window, looking down at his town.

—swim in the lake or in the ocean: he can’t swim and has hints of hydrophobia so he’d much rather not go for a swim alltogether, but if he needs to choose to go to either he’d probably aim for the lake. Both have bad memories connected to them, but at least the lake doesn’t remind him of the slaughter of the Hamlet.

—their type: While he generally goes with chemistry whenever he thinks about the possibility of a romantic partner, when it comes to physical preferences he usually leans towards muscles and curves. He’s a simple man with simple tastes.

—camping or indoors: while he’d much rather stay indoors, the most curious and marvellous things are outside, so...

Tagged by: @derjaegermond thanks boo uwu

#|| Pater Do Si Donas † about&headcanons ||

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randomuser678 · 5 years

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Sayonara Wild Hearts and Tarot Cards

Alright! I really want to think about how the tarot motif fits in the game, I am by no means a professional in tarot, but I wanted to connect the meanings to the way they are used on this fantastic game. So here we go

The first cards we see are the trio II-The Priestess, III-The Empress, and V-The Hierophant. They seem to be the entities of the world our dear protag goes to, The Empress is a Leader figure and both the Priestess and Hierophant are linked to wisdom so I guess that’s why.

The other card that doesn’t make a direct appearance is I-The Magician, the skip function! She appears when you make too many mistakes and makes your wishes come true, as a magician does. The card can represent manipulation, confidence and success. The skip function manipulates the world to make you succeed so that’s how it ties up.

The Protagonist is 0-The Fool, and honestly, which other card would she be? It’s totally the card of potential and humble beginnings and all of that stuff protagonists have. It also grows into other arcanas and gains other abilities, which is about a fool’s life journey and growth, and I love the abilities she gains.

And then we have the bosses! The good thing is that they all follow patterns, mostly. Like, first, Protag uses a card to get to the boss, and then the boss uses a card of their own, that’s a really neat way to introduce them all!

First Evil Ex: The Dancing Devils

Protag’s aracana: The Wheel of Fortune

Here the Fool pulls out her first card, The Wheel of Fortune that turns into a sick bike. This card can mean Things you can’t control or good and bad luck, but it takes the form of something that’s very much under Fool’s control, she begins her journey by taking control of her fate, she is no long turned around by the wheel and gets to drive it around.

The Dancing Devils: The biker gang of the devil arcana, their setting is a city with cute ferries driving around. The Devil represents temptation and being controlled, which maybe is what their relationships was with the Fool.

The Dancing Devils vs. The Wheel of Fortune

The motorcycle being the fortune arcana represents Fool taking control of her fate, and the Devil represents being pulled by unknown forces. Fool is challenging fate and stronger powers.

Second Evil Ex: The Howling Moons

Protag’s Arcanas: Justice, Judgement and The Emperor

Here, Justice and Judgement take form of two guns that keep shooting automatically, representing Fool’s sense of Justice and truth being her weapon againist the Howling Moons.

She also meets the Deer that represents the Emperor, an arcana of Leading and Guidance, like how the dear guides Protagonist through the weird forest, always by her side, but I think can also be a representation of her own confidence and pride.

The Howling Moons: A wolf themed group of four, “The Wolf Pack”, AKA some weird furries. The Moon represents Illusions and mysteries, and these gals gave Protagonist an acid trip so that fits pretty well. They also have a Cerberus thing going on, since The Death arcana is their leader I guess.

The Moon vs The Justice and The Judgement and The Emperor

The moon means illusions, with the Emperor’s confidence, protag’s sense of Justice and her Judgement look through those illusions for the sake of doing what’s right.

Third Evil Ex: Stereo Lovers

The Tower: Before facing the third boss, Fool needs to climb a deadly tower to then reach the lovers. The tower is an obstacle put there by the two faced woman, who setting Fool up for failure.

Protag’s Arcana: Strength

This arcana takes for of a sword (That’s also a plane). Strength means emotional strength and gentleness conquering big challenges, and that translates to physical and active strength here. The whole conquering your demons with gentleness may be the lesson Protagonist learns at the end, where she learns to be kind with herself. Also! This weapon was given to the Fool by the Lovers, as if, she used the strength she gained from this relationship to get over it.

Stereo lovers: A woman who is later split into two versions of the same woman. This arcana represents need to make a choice and balance (or lack thereof) between reason and emotion, opposite concepts. This is a weird one? Maybe she was a two faced person who was always switching.

Lovers vs Strength

The lovers two faced nature could have taken a tool on the Fool. demanding of her multiple types of strength, or strength in multiple areas. And as difficult as it was for her, she came out of it with the power the Lovers gave to her.

Fourth Evil Ex: Hermit 64

The Chariot: Before getting to the Hermit, Fool is driving around in the desert, with a really sweet car. This card represents triumphs and celebrations after a struggle, and the car driving in the desert thing can represent freedom and independence. Maybe after getting over her past relationship, or thinking she fully got over, she found herself on a happy state, she was free and independent, but maybe was still feeling lonely? Hence the next card is the one of isolation.

Hermit 64 and The World

The Hermit is linked to isolation, like how the character is always wearing her VR set, which connects her to a world she has full control on. She comes off to me as a manipulative person, someone who is happier when they have full control of all things and people around her. From what I’ve read The World can mean “Seeking personal closure” which I think is the Fool’s whole story.

Fifth Evil Ex: Little Death

The Star: This card represents Hope, the light in the end of the tunnel, a guiding or protecting light. In the game, it takes the form of a boat travelling trough dangerous waters, a little boat of hope sailing trough the waters leading to the final challenge. The parallels are pretty clear, and really poetic

Little Death’s Sun and Hanged man

Little Death is the final boss, so of course she has multiple Arcanas in hand. I personally believe in the theory that she was actually the Fool’s first relationship, from when they were younger, and she is so powerful because that’s the heartbreak that lasted the longer.

Oh and the Death Arcana means changes and transitions, more on that later

She pulls out the sun, which usually means creativity and friendship. and turns into a deadly electric circle thing, maybe she was a person who would use a bright façade a lot. The reversed sun can mean toxic friendships, so what I’m getting from this is that Death was manipulative and toxic underneath a happy attitude.

The Hanged man, which in these game takes form of a bunch of flying skulls, represents a moment of pause, and need for a new perspective, but reversed means delays, indecision and resistance, which is interesting considering that the Death Arcana means Change, while reversed means resistance to change.

Little Death has two forms, she Changes into something more dangerous after first defeat. She really was the toughest heartbreak. And when she shapeshifts into that one eyed demon thing, she looks older, like, taller and has a hair bun, so I like to believe that she was the first big heartbreak and then appeared again on The Fool’s life, making all of those repressed feelings flood.

Protag’s Temperance

The Temperance takes form of a bow and arrow, since the card represents balance and patience, it’s no surprise it takes form of such a precision and accuracy based weapon. She summons it to battle death. She destroys her fear of change and her heartbreak with her need to find balance in life, her need to cut off unneeded weight.

The Everything

This game is amazing, and honestly, being able to somewhat connect the meanings really enriched my experience so I wanted to share my thoughts, so if you got here thank you! And like, totally consider sharing and following me if you want.

#tarot #sayonara wild hearts #swh

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ofravensandgenesis · 4 years

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The Investment of an Antagonist - Part One

Entry 04. [Trigger warning content: post contains discussion of Far Cry 5 details including cannibalism, graphic violence, brainwashing, torture, child abuse mention, neglect, mentioned fatalistic/suicidal character pov, dark backstories, etc. Spoilers naturally. Part 01 of 03.] [Link to part two here.] [Link to part three here.] I was cooking dinner and had the sudden EUREKA moment of trying to figure out what exactly I want with regards to an antagonist for an original fic setting. Originally I was going to have a general state of conflict between two nations/city-states/etc on a larger, more impersonal scale, but that didn’t do anything to really interest me in that level of conflict. So I was thinking on why Far Cry 5′s villains and the conflict interests me so, and the eureka moment was realizing that they as villains have a personal stake in all this, and go about it in ways that are reflective of their stories. Specifically for the Seeds, it has me realizing it’s more interesting to me when the villain is acting due to personal motivations of an emotional nature and/or relating to their belief system, and in ways that compliment those internal motivations that can build out into or off of their backstories and other areas of the tale.

Like, it’s more than just a universally formulaic method of brainwashing for all of the people they kidnap during the Reaping (and before it, since it’s a cult and that means there’s a process of indoctrination, ie brainwashing.) All of the Heralds have their specific manner of doing so, and said methods are tailored to the particulars of each Herald’s backstory as is revealed to us.

— Jacob —

Jacob starves the Deputy and other “recruits,” exposes them to the elements, doesn’t give them enough water, keeps them near hungry and dangerous animals (pre-Judge wolves and Judges it seems.) He then gives them a bowl of raw meat that one can read as implied to be human flesh, particularly if Pratt’s anecdote about going hunting in what ends up being not-a-dream from online sources is taken into consideration, as mentioned in a previous writing-about-writing post. Link here to the audio, (credit and thanks to hopecountyradio,) transcription below: “I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin 'em. As I was cuttin’ ‘em open they changed. It wasn’t deer. I...I don’t think it was a dream.”

Obviously one can make some assumptions of Whitetail Militia imagery being used here, particularly given that one of the slides on the projector screens during the Trials includes a picture of Eli with antlers iirc (that may be only during the later trials or the last one, I am uncertain.) Ties right into the whole “the weak must be culled,” and “you are meat,” slogans Jacob’s got all over the place. The “only you” slogans and graffiti could also serve to foster the loneliness and isolation aspect of making the choice “to make the sacrifice” ie, the symbolic choice of killing Miller, or his surrogate equivalent in the case of everyone else that Jacob puts through his trials. I haven’t seen a lot regarding Miller’s ties to Jacob from in-game content but I could have missed something easily. The wiki labels Miller as Jacob’s friend, though I wish we had more detail on that. Most certainly, Miller was a member of Jacob’s unit, which based off of some reading and browsing on the internet, should still be a pretty close tie whether or not they were friends. The following speculation is based on my own interpretations of the matter and I have no history of serving in the Armed Forces, so if I’m mistaken or such feel free to drop me a line to let me know. Continuing: even if they theoretically hated each other’s guts, they were still a part of the unit, a part of the Army. That means they and their other brothers-in-arms lived together and fought together. They ate as a group, slept as a group, watched each others’ backs while on watch or during a firefight, fought along side each other, and did their best to keep each other alive while fulfilling the mission objective, working together as individuals brought together in a cohesive unit that also was a part of the whole. They all knew they had each others’ backs and that the others did the same for them in turn. Shifting between life-or-death situations and more peaceful times, it creates a bond and social structure that is very unlike most common, modern civilian social structures. There certainly at least seems to be a bit of culture shock in the US between the two environs, and Jacob seems to have experienced that, based on what we hear of his backstory in The Book of Joseph of having little to no support once back in civilian life (ie: deeply traumatized and staying in veteran hospitals until he ran out of money and ended up in homeless shelters) after being discharged from the Army. In the Armed Forces it’s about the group, rather than the individual. Imagine having that, knowing that, after being through all that Jacob has potentially been through. To have brothers in arms if not by blood by his side who he protects, who also protect him against the hostility of the world they’re fighting against. This is not to ding Joseph or John as characters by the way, all three of them were children at that point and shouldn’t have had to deal with any of that. Jacob loses what ties of family he holds dear with his blood brothers once he’s put into Juvie, perhaps makes friends there but is likely on his own once he’s out again, with very poor prospects given his history, and then he enlists. He’s alone and without support before he joins the military, and then suddenly he’s in an environment where there IS a form of support, and it’s predictable and structured down to the last bootlace (note: that’s a very broad statement and does not include variance and personal experiences, nor possible issues with potential power abuse or other flaws that might arise in such group structures.) Imagine Jacob being in the Army long enough to get used to that, to enjoy that aspect of it all, to share the camaraderie of bitching about the heat of the sun, sand in their socks, and getting yet another package of their least favorite MRE while trying to wheedle a trade with someone else for something better. Imagine him doing that with Miller, knowing how the other man likes the sugar cookie desserts in one MRE package and hates how the chocolate bars melt from the desert heat in another. Knowing what each others’ tells and bluffs are from playing poker on their down time while on a tour. Swapping stories about home...and noticing who doesn’t want to talk about the life they had before enlisting. Talking about the things they miss, the people they miss. Knowing who snores, who’s a light sleeper, all those things you learn when you’re in close proximity to a person for perhaps up to two years or so depending on deployment length. It could also be they’ve been deployed together more than once, as Jacob certainly went out on multiple tours per The Book of Joseph once again. Imagine Jacob knowing all of that and more about Miller. Then, day after day after day of being lost in the desert, with starvation eating away at their rationality, that hollow pain in their guts as their bodies start burning through their own cells and reserves to try to stay alive, running out of water and having to take chances with any drinking source they can find in the environment and having to expend precious energy to try or die early from dehydration, probably not sleeping well from the hunger, exhaustion, stress, possible enemy presence, dangerous wildlife... The brain starts shutting down real quick once we don’t have the resources it needs to run optimally. Some faster than others, but in Jacob and Miller’s case, their ordeal is definitely long enough to put them into that mindset of feeling that primal fear of a slow death by famine, weakness, scarcity. The psychological toll would have been heavy without a doubt, and that might’ve been compounded by experiences in Jacob’s childhood if his parents were not dutiful in buying food more regularly, which easily could be the case. Old Mad Seed needs more whiskey this month to fuel his raging, drunken fits of spewing biblical verses in a tyrannical fashion? There goes the money for the last few days of food. Easily could be how Jacob got into stealing candy (and likely also food in that case) for himself and his brothers. So Jacob would have a good idea of some of what’s coming down the pipe in that case. He knows how long the trip is, can reckon how fast the two can travel. Maybe he starts out hopeful in a grim way to start... ...but over time as things get more and more desperate (and it could be a familiar desperation he’s felt before as a kid going hungry, only worse,) “And I looked at Miller and I could tell we were as good as dead. And I accepted that. And in that acceptance...came clarity.” That clarity could very well be that Jacob decided that morality was futile if it meant you didn’t survive, which could very well be a very world-breaking revelation for him, since he is mentioned in his backstory to have had a praiseworthy sense of honor among other things. Certainly is potentially spirit breaking to go from being the older brother, the brother-in-arms who relied on and was relied on, who was trusted, to being a betrayer of that trust. A Judas, one could say, as he calls Pratt in his video after Pratt has helped the Deputy escape. And what does Jacob make the Deputy become, in relation to Eli? Eli, the man the Deputy was rescued by, was aided by, has been working alongside this entire time. Eli, who trusts and relies on the Deputy. Eli, who it could be said betrayed Jacob’s friendship with him by choosing not to hand over the Whitetail Militia and join Eden’s Gate (from Jacob’s perspective, based on his final fight dialogue.) “Hey. Only you could have gotten this close. Only you could have earned his trust. It was always only ever you. Good work. You did it. You passed your test. You made your sacrifice. But now...you’re alone. And you’re weak. And we know what happens to the weak.” That might seem contradictory at first, since in theory making the sacrifice should make one “strong” by Jacob’s line of reasoning, one might think. But the Deputy is a “traitor” now—to the Whitetail Militia by brainwashing (temporarily as we the audience know, pending Jacob’s death,) and to Jacob by choice, if one takes the following lines from Jacob into consideration: “You’ve forgotten your purpose, Deputy. You were on the path of the Chosen but now you’ve strayed. Fear did this to you, but don’t worry, I can help with that. I can remove your fear and give you strength. It’s not too late. Come back to me. Remember your purpose.” ”Deputy, know that I still have hope for you, but if you continue to support Eli and his merry band of cowards, that hope will cease to exist. Your judgement is cloudy because your mind is weak, but I have confidence you’ll make the right choice in the end. If not—you’ll all pay in blood.” Link to the audio for the above two lines here (credit and appreciation to hopecountyradio once more.) As with the other Seeds, Jacob starts out trying to persuade the Deputy to “see the light” and join the Project, but as with all of them, as the resistance meter rises and we draw closer to the final confrontation with him, he and the others abandon that idea in favor of trying to end the Deputy instead. So in this possible interpretation, it could be that Jacob views both the Deputy and Eli as traitors both. However...the two situations while both likely quite weighty with the Deputy being “the chosen one” to kick off the Collapse (or a herald of the Collapse if one wants to be cute with wording,) and Eli being an ex-good-friend or perhaps even ex-best-friend of Jacob’s, are potentially vastly different in emotional weight to Jacob. The Deputy is all tied up with this Collapse business, and while Jacob isn’t sure if Joseph talks to God, he does support him, what with being a Herald in the cult and all that. It involves the fate of the family, and in particular, Jacob’s family—his brothers and sister. Eli, however, Jacob has known for a while, likely years, back during the construction of the bunkers which Eli helped with, possibly and likely before then. I personally lean towards interpreting that as they struck up the beginning of a friendship, and Jacob hired Eli and his crew to help with the construction of the cult’s bunkers. Where they had their falling out is less clear as far as I’m aware. It could be it was during or after construction that Eli got a bad feeling about all of this Eden’s Gate business, or perhaps even as late as the beginning of the Reaping if that’s when Jacob gave Eli the “chance” to hand over his Whitetail Militia members, as mentioned in his final boss battle red-bliss section. That could’ve been the breaking point for Jacob and Eli, and if Jacob was expecting Eli to side with him due to friendship and perhaps some shared beliefs...perhaps Jacob took that...poorly. And by poorly I mean went full out on revenge of having Eli killed by betrayal of someone he’d chosen to trust—someone that Jacob had already gotten his hooks into. Someone Eli needed, in this fight against Jacob. Someone like the Deputy. The Deputy, who’s been put through starvation, exposure, and ingrained through conditioning and likely a liberal use of Bliss to facilitate said conditioning, to hunt. To train. To kill. To sacrifice. “You take away a man’s basic needs, and he will revert to his primordial instinct in just ten days.” [Chuckles.] “Ah, that’s a difficult thing to understand unless you’ve lived it...” This is what Jacob is putting the “recruits” and the Deputy through—his revelation. His experience. His choice. In the end as Jacob succumbs to his injuries, he is weak, he is dying, and he knows it, looking at the Deputy in his final scene. This time, he is the one who is sacrificed, by the Deputy, and in Jacob’s eyes by Joseph, to either try to end the chaos spread across the county, or to break a seal respectively. Jacob’s death is a means to an end—as Miller’s was. And Jacob “accepts that,” as he puts it. Does he accept it because now he’s betrayed the trust and faith of potentially two people he might’ve been close to? Miller, and then Eli? Is Jacob conditioning the Deputy during that red-bliss sequence of his boss fight to kill Jacob, based on how there are bliss-hallucinations of Jacob to shoot while destroying the beacons? There’s the generic Whitetail fighter, Judges, and Jacob himself scattered across the landscape before ending that sequence as far as I’m aware. Both Jacob and the Whitetail fighter present could be interpreted in this line of thinking as echoing the supposed betrayal of both sides and being “alone” against the world in a nightmarish fashion while Jacob potentially tries to break the Deputy through talking and said nightmare. The way Jacob talks though...is he strictly speaking to us, or is the Deputy actually a mirror as it were, with the things Jacob says being applicable to himself? “Don’t you find it ironic that everyone you try to help ends up worse off? Eli...Pratt...Tragedy just follows you. If you really wanted to keep people safe, be a hero...you’d just off yourself. Safer for everyone that way.” Is Jacob REALLY talking to us, or to himself through a medium? Through a glass darkly, as it were. He “tried” to “help” Eli and Pratt, in his twisted fashion, by trying to get Eli previously to join the Project and to make Pratt strong enough via brainwashing to also join the Project, which in Jacob’s perspective if he’s following his and Joseph’s dogma, is the only way to survive the Collapse. But Jacob has failed, repeatedly, to protect the people he held dear—his family. His friends. He’s become the threat they need protecting from. He has irrevocably perhaps proven to himself that under the right circumstances? He’s willing to betray people he holds dear for his own survival. Would he betray his family? That is the question, isn’t it. Perhaps Jacob fears finding out. Maybe he fears, that under the right circumstances, he would. Maybe that’s why he goes so willingly to be Joseph’s sacrifice, in part. Maybe having orchestrated Eli’s death, the death of yet one more person whom he was once friends with, yet one more person Jacob himself has betrayed, maybe Jacob doesn’t want to continue either. Maybe that’s the last straw, the nail in the coffin of underlying beliefs that Jacob is inherently not someone who can be fully trusted. Maybe he genuinely thought Eli would join him if given the chance. Maybe Jacob was still hollow and brittle as hell from the first time he’d killed a friend, when he killed Miller. All the Seeds bear the weight of their pasts heavily, and Jacob’s no exception. Jacob survived the first time, barely. He survived the second time, but not by long. He starts talking about his potential death at the Deputy’s hands quite early on during the red-bliss segment. Neither John nor Faith nor Joseph to my knowledge do so. Maybe he was waiting for the Deputy to be strong enough to finish what no one else could. Maybe that was what he wanted. “There’s no “win” for you here. It all ends bloody. For everyone. You die now, or you die later. It’s up to you. But either way? You won’t die a hero.” Perhaps that line from Jacob also is one of the things he fears most—dying without purpose. Dying being not a hero, a person who’s done good for others, but rather the opposite. Ironically so, given that he and his family are all in the torture and brainwashing business, but Jacob in particular gave up on being a good person a long time ago, I think, even by the cult’s standards. [Link to part two here.] [Link to part three here.]

#writing about writing #Far Cry 5 #FC5 #antagonists #villains #Jacob Seed #long post is long #character study #trigger warning content #tw content is listed at the top of the post #hopecountyradio

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Top of the World: Matthew Henson and the First Frozen Steps

By 1887 Matthew Henson thought his days of adventure were behind him. After an unconventional early life he found himself working as a shop clerk until one fateful day when a certain customer came inside the shop. By the time the customer left Henson had a new job and was on his way to the history books.

Henson was born in Charles County, Maryland on August 8th, 1866, one year after the end of the Civil War. His parents were free sharecroppers, but both died when he was very young leaving him in the care of his uncle, who also died within a matter of years. Before the age of ten Henson was orphaned, leaving him to make his way through life relying on his own wits, skills, tenacity, and courage. They served the young boy well and at the age of twelve he walked his way to Washington D.C. and signed up to be a cabin boy on the sailing ship the Katie Hines. The next six years spent on the ship were extremely beneficial for Henson and under the wing of the captain, Captain Childs, he received a thorough education on life at sea becoming a skilled sailor, developing an arsenal of technical skills, and traveling all over the world.

Given his experience, when Captain Childs died in 1887 one would have assumed that Henson would resume his life of exploration and adventure on another ship, but that was not the case. Henson found a job at a Washington D.C. clothing store and probably expected a normal, quiet life. It all changed with one customer, a naval officer named Robert Peary, who was looking to sell pelts he accumulated on his latest expedition to Greenland. The stories sparked an old fire in Henson and undoubtedly the conversation swayed to his previous life at sea. The officer was impressed by Henson’s past and immediately offered him a new job, being his personal assistant and accompanying him on his next excursion to the jungles of Nicaragua.

Robert Peary. Image via Britannica.com.

The trip to Nicaragua was no small undertaking for Henson and Peary, the officer’s task was to map the wilderness to find a way to connect the Atlantic and Pacific oceans with a canal. Henson’s previous experiences were hugely beneficial to the two-year long excursion and his abilities stood out among the forty-five man crew. A friendship was cemented between the two and upon their return from Central America Peary secured Henson a job as a messenger at the League Island Naval Yard in Philadelphia. Their time in Nicaragua was over but it was far from the last time the pair would explore the world together. In 1891 Peary was again heading out and wanted Henson to join him. This time it was not to the jungles of Central America, it was to the frozen expanse of Greenland.

Later photograph of Matthew Henson.

When Henson and Peary set out for the top of the world it marked the beginning of an eighteen-year-long partnership that would include seven trips to the frozen tundra. Time and time again Henson proved that he was the backbone of the excursions. Upon their first trip to Greenland Henson threw himself into the Inuit culture, learning their language, trading with them, and learning their techniques for survival in the harsh atmosphere. In addition to absorbing and learning the Inuit ways of life, Henson honed and expanded his skills as a craftsman building the houses where they lived and maintaining all the sleds and equipment that were critical to their mission.

The second venture to Greenland from 1893 to 1895 barely avoided tragedy when the exploration team hit a string of bad luck that nearly caused them to starve to death. The objective of the trip was to map the entire ice cap but on their way to the northernmost corner snowfall hid their food supplies and suddenly all attempts at hunting went cold. On their return trip the explorers were forced to eat their sled dogs in order to avoid death. On the last leg of their torturous march back to base camp a member of the team, exhausted and starving, laid down in the snow and told Henson and Peary to leave him behind. Henson told them they were all making it back or none of them were making it back. Two weeks later they staggered into base camp with only one of their dogs left alive.

Matthew Henson and Robert Peary.

The harrowing experience did not deter them from going north again and in 1896 and 1897 the pair returned to Greenland, this time returning home with their hands full. On previous expeditions the explorers found three massive meteorite fragments and upon their return home with them they were sold to the American Museum of Natural History in New York for $40,000. The largest fragment, called the Cape York fragment, weighs thirty-one metric tons, is the third largest intact meteor ever discovered, and the largest ever transported by humans. The hefty sum of money would go towards funding their future excursions, and there was one particular trip they had in mind. They wanted to go where no others had gone before, they wanted to be the first to set foot in the North Pole.

The ultimate goal may have been the North Pole, but the road there would be difficult, sometimes bordering on catastrophic. Henson continued to be a vital part of the exploration using his many technical skills to advance and train the most elite members of Peary’s teams and continuing to learn the Inuit culture and language. Over time the Inuit people gave him a nickname, “Matthew the Kind One.” As incredibly skilled and well-versed in the arctic as the team was, there were some things they could not prepare for. During the 1902 expedition the path north was blocked by melting ice and their supplies ran out before they could return to base. Six of their Inuit team members died on the venture.

Matthew Henson.

The 1905-1906 expedition seemed backed with promise for success. Each trip brought them closer to the North Pole and this time they had support from President Theodore Roosevelt and use of a new three-masted steam-powered schooner called the Roosevelt, specifically built to travel through ice. They got within 174 miles of the North Pole, but they were again kept from their goal by melting ice. Forced to turn back Peary knew they were getting closer and wrote in his journal, “When my observations were taken they showed that we had reached 87°6′ north latitude, and had at last beaten the record, for which I thanked God.”

It was two years before Henson and Peary could once again head out to attempt the feat that had alluded them for so long and taken so many lives with it. A team was assembled including Peary, Henson, Dr. John W. Goodsell, Donald B. MacMillion, Ross G. Marvin, George Borup and Robert Bartlett, captain of the Roosevelt. The strategy was made up of many intricate parts. The team would sail to Cape Sheridan on the northern-most part of Ellesmere Island, Canada, spend several months amassing food and supplies, and then travel to Cape Columbia where they would build a base camp for the main objective of getting to the North Pole. Knowing that all of them could not travel the entire way through, the push to the pole was set up as a sort of relay with certain members of the team going as far as a specific point then caching the supplies where the next team could find them and use them to get to the next point along the path. Peary knew he was going the entire distance to the North Pole, and he knew Henson was going with him. He stated before the excursion began, “Henson must go all the way. I can't make it there without him." He was absolutely correct. During the entire endeavor Henson built the sleds, built the shelters, built igloos to cache supplies for members of the “relay” team, worked with the Inuit people, and trained people on how to handle the sled dogs. Donald MacMillon later stated that Henson “was indispensable.”

Matthew Henson.

On September 5th, 1908, the Roosevelt reached Cape Sheridan and the team began the first step of a grueling journey, surviving the winter months. Sleds were built, large numbers of musk ox, rabbit, and deer were hunted, and several Inuit members of the team had their wives and children meet them and work on making clothing that would keep them alive in an environment that could drop to over sixty degrees below zero. In February 1909 Henson and some of the Inuit traveled by sledge to Cape Columbia and began setting up base camp by building igloos and gathering supplies. It was from here that they would officially launch the attempt for the North Pole on March 1st 1909.

The entire ordeal took five weeks with teams traveling ahead of the core group of Henson, Peary, and their Inuit companions, dropping supplies for them, and turning back to all meet at the Roosevelt and hope that they would see their friends again one day. The first team to turn back and return was led by McMillan with Dr. Goodsell, followed by the Borup team, then the Marvin team, and lastly the Bartlett team. Once they all returned to the Roosevelt the captain readied the ship for the anticipated return of “The Pole Team” of Peary, Henson, and their small crew. All they could do was wait.

Diagram of each team and their route. Image via unmuseum.org.

For days Henson, Peary, Inuits Ooqueah, Ootah, Egingwah, Seegloo, and five dogs charged headfirst into the elements, traveling in stretches of twelve and fourteen hours in a desperate, raging attempt to get to the North Pole. Traveling 170 miles, by early April Henson was certain their end goal was near. He later wrote:

“We crawled out of our igloos and found a dense mist hanging over everything. Only at intervals, when the sun’s rays managed to penetrate the mist, could we catch even a glimpse of the sky. Estimating the distance that we had come during the last four days, we figured that, unless something unusual happened to us during the course of this day, we should be at the Pole before its close.”

On April 6th 1909 Henson was leading the pack when Peary, who was approximately fifty yards behind him, called ahead and said they should set up camp. It was misty and impossible to figure exactly where they were standing so the group went about their normal routine of building igloos, eating, and settled in to get some much needed sleep. By the next morning the mist had lifted, and Peary began to calculate their location. He was probably shocked to realize that the precise location of the geographical center of the planet lay just behind the igloos they had been sleeping in all night. The men had officially, and finally, reached the North Pole.

The mood should have been ecstatic. The men were the first to reach the top of the world, but it was the word “first” that quickly soured the astounding victory. Henson was the leader of the group as they traveled so realistically, Henson was the first man to ever walk on the North Pole. When they trekked back Henson’s footprints were clearly marking the site first. When the team turned to return to the Roosevelt there was allegedly a marked difference in the bond between Peary and Henson. As Henson later recalled:

“From the time we knew we were at the Pole, Commander Peary scarcely spoke to me…It nearly broke my heart … that he would rise in the morning and slip away on the homeward trail without rapping on the ice for me, as was the established custom.”

Photograph of members of the Pole Team.

If Peary was harboring bitterness toward Henson he may have secretly enjoyed the reception when the team returned home. The feat of walking on the North Pole was an astronomical, seemingly impossible human achievement, and the victory was not one that people were willing to award to the African American Matthew Henson. The praise and accolades went chiefly to Peary with Henson’s role being greatly downgraded to the important assistant to Peary. The success was not totally easy on Peary though. Amid the praise was a heavy amount of skepticism that the crew had actually reached their destination and he was required to testify before Congress that they had reached the North Pole despite a lack of indisputable proof. Another blow to the story came in the form of a man named Frederick Cook who claimed he reached the North Pole a full year before Henson, Peary, and their crew. His claims were quickly proven to be a hoax, but it still left tarnish on the massive accomplishments of Henson, Peary, and their teammates.

Newspaper featuring Peary telling the story of the expedition.

Peary was promoted to Rear Admiral and lived out the rest of his life as an acclaimed hero. The same could not be said for Henson who took a job as a clerk with the federal customs house in New York City. Unlike his time at the Washington D.C. clothing store, this time Henson was truly finished with exploring and he remained at the customs house for thirty years. He adopted a quiet life but he never forgot his pursuit of the North Pole and in 1912 he published his account of the endeavor, A Negro Explorer at the North Pole: The Autobiography of Matthew Henson.

Henson did not receive any official recognition of his vital role in the first human steps on the North Pole until 1937 when he was made an honorary member of The Explorers Club of New York at the age of seventy years old. He was presented with a Congressional medal in 1944 and in 1954 President Dwight Eisenhower invited him to the White House where he was honored for his work as an early American explorer.

Matthew Henson died in New York City on March 9th, 1955 at eighty-eight years old and he was initially buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx. He continued to be honored after his death and on April 6th, 1988 the remains of he and his wife were relocated to Arlington National Cemetery and laid to rest with full military honors on the 79th anniversary of Henson’s first steps on the North Pole. In 2000 the National Geographic Society posthumously honored Henson with their most prestigious award of the Hubbard Medal.

Grave of Matthew Henson in Arlington National Cemetery. Image via Wikimedia Commons.

On March 1st 1909 a team of people set out to accomplish a seemingly insurmountable task, set foot on a frozen corner of the planet where humans had never tread before. While it was a team effort that led to the steps set on the North Pole on April 6th 1909 it is undeniable that Matthew Henson was the main force in the effort. With his multitude of skills constantly accumulated and honed from a young age, his respect and utilization of Inuit culture and practices, and his unswayable courage, Henson was far from being an assistant. He was, and is, the first man to set foot on the North Pole.

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Sources:

The Legacy of Arctic Explorer Matthew Henson, National Geographic.com, James Mills.

Matthew Henson. Biography.com

A Negro Explorer at the North Pole: The Autobiography of Matthew Henson by Matthew Henson, 1912.

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