#f: you have a supervillain on speed dial

[aromantic-eight]

Rolling in 15 minutes late to pinned posts. Here will be my custom fandom tags, because I am allergic to touching the main tags. Recent fandoms:

The Locked Tomb Series (f: the inherent eroticism of bones)

Gideon/Harrow (r: i wanted you to eat me)

Arknights (f: powered by apocalypse ore)

Gacha game sideblog: Theabysscomeshome

Other fandoms:

Bungo Stray Dogs (f: raise your hand if you’re NOT an orphan with a tragic past)

Honkai Impact 3rd (f: this is a story about love and it will end with love)

Genshin Impact (f: pay no attention to the gods behind the curtain)

Honkai Impact 3rd (f: this is a story about love and it will end with love) Avatar: The Last Airbender (f: it’s a new kind of world) Critical Role: Vox Machina (f: i’m just surprised that people like us) Daredevil (f: what about hope) Doctor Who (f: mind the plants) Dragon Age (f: smoke and mirrors) Elementary (f: connections) Fire Emblem (f: the sexy chess game)

    Three Houses (f: this is fine)

    Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn (f:angry birds)

Gravity Falls (f: trust no one) Harry Potter (f: within these ancient halls) High Rollers Aerois (f: at least they’re not cows) Juno Steel, Penumbra Podcast (f: and then they became space pirates) Legend of Korra (f: dorks try to save the world) Leverage (f: five bad band)

    Parker - ch: i didn’t even stab him

    Eliot/Hardison/Parker - dynamic: we change together

Marvel (f: how many ragnaroks is too many ragnaroks)

    Young Avengers (f: you have a supervillain on speed dial)

    Runaways (f: how do you hero again?)

    Loki - ch: i know what i’m doing

Norse Mythology (m: in the absence of goats) Pacific Rim (f: and then we built a giant robot) RWBY (f: it’s also a gun)     -Ruby - ch: it’s also a customizable high impact sniper rifle     -Ren - ch: please do nothing to the cook     -Nora - ch: thunder     -Taiyang - ch: buff marshmallow     -Raven - ch: run     -Qrow - ch: bird.exe     -Summer - ch: sad but determined bedsheet     -Ironwood - ch: and you did your very best     -Oz/pin - ch: i’m sorry     -Oscar - ch: another one of his lives     -Cinder - ch: like hunger     -Salem - ch: this isn’t a threat     -RWBY - dynamic: girl’s night     -JNPR - dynamic: just hit em with the hammer     -JNR - dynamic: this is my family     -STRQ - dynamic: he’s good isn’t he     -Ruby/Penny - dynamic: you light up my life     -Oz/Salem - dynamic: amicable divorce     -Ironwood/Qrow - dynamic: some good     -Oz/Qrow - dynamic: i’m amazed that you ever loved me     -Ironwood/Oz - r: you have to trust me     -Ironwood/Oz/Qrow - r: call me maybe Second Citadel, Penumbra Podcast (f: paladin morality crisis) She-Ra (f: the power of love and stuff) Star Wars (f: where is your balance now) Stargate Atlantis (f: city of dreams (and nightmares)) Stargate SG-1 (f: the things I’ve heard sitting in this chair) Supernatural (f: pretty trash horror) The Magnus Archives (f: avatar the last fearbender)     -Jo(h)n Sims - ch: the h is silent     -Martin - ch: if we were all happy that wouldn’t actually be the end of the world     -Tim - ch: rating the institute 0 on yelp     -Gertrude - ch: cackling     -Elias - ch: immortality never ends badly for anyone     -Peter - ch: leave me alone     -Jared - ch: they’re all my favorite     -Jon/Martin - r: sometimes romance is getting some goddamned rest The Mechanisms (f: gotta say i’m in the mood for violence) Welcome to Night Vale (f: [muffled sound of reality breaking]) White Collar (f: communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship)

[ao3feed-ladynoir]

How to Be Pen Pals with a Supervillain

How to Be Pen Pals With a Supervillain (and get away with it) by NotYourMiko

Every year Ms. Bustier does the Pen pal project, in which students exchange letters and text messages with those of somewhat similar interests. This year they are exchanging letters and messages with influencers in modern society. Emily, a new American exchange student, is not looking forward to this. She just got accustomed to superheroes and the French language, how is she suppose to handle writing to an influencer in Parisian society without messing up? This is going to go fantastic. She gets to address wrong. And the person she sent the letter to? Is none other than Paris's main villain, Hawkmoth! Yeah, what could possibly go wrong when you have Public Enemy Number One on speed dial?

Words: 1525, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Miraculous Ladybug

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Original Miraculous Ladybug Character(s), Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Nathalie Sancoeur, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Classmates

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nathalie Sancoeur

Additional Tags: Original Akuma, Akuma Butterflies, Hawkmoth Is A Mood, Mayura Is Like A Mom, everyone is a mess, Foreign Exchange Student Original Character, everything goes to hell

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32198374

[smolbatboys]

Jason Todd x Reader Part 2

A/N I’m going to be writing this in 3rd person, and let me know if you prefer to have it in 1st person.

F/T/C = Favorite Type of Coffee ~ F/L/N = First and Last Name

“Remind me why we drove…” You say while jumping out of the car and stretching. “Time to talk and bond, duh.” B/F/N replies, looking at you like you’re crazy. You look up at the manor with a smile. “I haven’t been here in so long,” you say absentmindedly.

“At least this time it’s on better circumstances.” Dick said as y'all unload boxes. ‘Hell yeah,’ you think to yourself, ‘last time I was here, it was because someone died.’ Once we finished I walked into the manor, just stood, and let out a content sigh. It looked and even smelled the same. The smell of F/T/C filled your nostrils. “Welcome back Miss L/N.” Alfred greeted you with a smile, a large mug of coffee in hand. “It’s great to be back, and please just call me Y/N.” You replied, giving Alfred a hug. “Alfred, who’s here?” You heard Tim ask as he came down the down the stairs. “Hey Kiddo.” You call to him. “Y/N, you’re finally here!” He just about screamed as he gave you a hug. “Bruce, they’re here!” *This Time Skip is Brought to You by My Laziness* “Beep, Beep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,” your alarm clock screamed in my ear. You quickly rolled over and slammed your hand on the off button. Bruce had gotten you a job at a small book store in Gotham. And by book store I mean… A freaking comic book store!!!!! The only downside is you have to get up at 6:20am to get to the store on time and make sure everything is in its place. You get up and quickly get ready. A lot of workers quit and/or moved because of the crime rate in Gotham. Your new boss just gave you a spare key and said to be open by 7:00am. *Time Skip to 1:00pm* You’ve been at work for almost seven hours, and in about thirty minutes your boss should be here to take over for the rest of the day. A young man about your age walked in. He had raven hair with a little bit of white at the front. His blue, beautiful eyes locked onto your E/C ones. You quickly looked away as you blushed. You went back to work, putting comics back on shelves and figurines in their display cases. “Excuse me,” someone interrupts you, “Could you help me find something for someone?” You turn around to be greeted with familiar blue eyes. “Of course.” You reply. “My brother’s birthday is coming up, and i want sure what comics to get him.” He states, slightly hesitating on the word brother. “Do you know what he likes?” You ask. “Spider-man, I think…” He replies unsure. “Ok, Spider-man is one of my favorites.” You say with a smile as you comb through the shelves. “What’s your favorite?” You ask keeping your eyes on the shelves. “Oh, I don’t read comics.” He replies. “What?” You ask looking at him like he’s crazy. “You live in a world filled with Superheros and Supervillains, and you’ve never picked up a comic, even out of curiosity? ” He shakes his head cocking an eyebrow. You grab a bunch of comics and pay for them. "Here, these are for your brother,” You say pointing at the first four comics, “And these are for you.” You then point to the other six on the counter. “No here.” He says trying to hand you some cash. “No, you read these, and if you don’t like them you can give them to your brother.” You say, not backing down. You then shoo him out of the store as he argues with you. Your boss came in at that moment, and gave you a confused look. He just dismissed it. Jason caught up to you as you ran to your car. “Can I at least know your name?” He asked. “My name is F/L/N.” You reply tucking a stand of hair behind your ear. “My name’s Jason Todd, it’s nice to meet you.” He says holding out his hand. Your eyes widen almost immediately. “I’m sorry, I really need to go.” You say quickly getting in your car and diving away. ‘What the actual f**k?’ Jason thought to himself. *At the Manor* “Guess who i ran into today?” You ask Bruce. “I don’t know, Barbara.” He replies not looking up from his newspaper. "Nope. Jason, actually.” You tell him. He stopped and looked up. “Did you talk to him?” He asks, now very interested. “A little but I didn’t know it was him. I just told him my name.” You reply. “ You need to tell him everything.” He says very seriously. “I’ll wait until after Tim’s birthday because Sam and Dean will be here,” I say, “And Cas can help explain.” “You know you can’t always expect an angel to come and help you… You know?” He says. “Are you suggesting I call Crowley? Because I have him on speed dial.” You reply in all seriousness. “Just never mind…” Bruce replies going back to reading the paper. A/N I tried breaking this up into little paragraphs, but my phone is stupid. 😠 But i hope you enjoyed it! 😺

[aromantic-eight]

This is part of a series of gen fic recs I’m making for Genuary 2021, organized by fandom. I’ll be putting these together quick, and many of these I have not read in a long time, so they’ll mostly just have a length range, either some general content tags I used for organizing or AO3 tags depending on the age of the bookmark, the summary, and a hopefully-still-working link.

This one:

Young Avengers (Marvel) / (And Hawkeye!Kate)

The Invasion (will not be televised) by Norickayer (PG-13)

Words: 50-100k

Tags: plotty, Crossover, drama, mentions of self harm, nonbinary character

(Unfinished/Dropped) In a world without superheroes, six teenagers stumble upon a dying alien who gives them the power to shape-shift. America, Eli, Kate, Tommy, Serrure, Billy, and Teddy are the only people who can stand against the alien invasion- because they’re the only ones who know about it. When one of them confesses to being a member of the invasion force, well- That’s just the beginning of the story.

Note: I love this fic so much.

 Freewill by Norickayer (PG-13)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: humor, AU – ABO, friendship, worldbuilding, trans character

“Wait, this makes no sense,” Loki complained. Teddy glanced back at his gerry-rigged presentation board. As he suspected, he’d drawn the diagram correctly. Teddy began to regret offering this lesson on human sexuality to his alien teammates. (An absolutely gen A/B/O fic, because of reasons.)

 (Series) The Saga of Loki: Hero of Earth-616 by Norickayer

Words: 25,528

Tags: canon divergence, genderqueer character, within-marvel crossovers

AKA: Loki & America's Excellent Adventure

In hopes of escaping the gravitational pull of old stories, Loki goes on a quest through the multiverse to create some new ones. With Wiccan, Hulkling, and Prodigy guiding the way and Miss America along for the ride, what could possibly go wrong?

 There Are Times For Patience, And This Is Not One Of Them by atti (attilatehbun) (PG-13)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: humor, arguments, Billy & Tommy

Vaguely antagonistic brotherly bonding.

 what's my age again? by verity (PG-13)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: friendship, humor, sign language, banter, background America/Kate

A for effort, H-A-W-K-E-Y-E, Kate says as soon as she frees herself from her harness. They really need to come up with a real sign instead of just fingerspelling all the time. Maybe miming drawing a bow, then pointing to the eyes. Something cool. You have to get over your boner for that boomerang arrow. "Did you just sign 'angry penis'?" Sam says, distracted from his unresolved sexual tension with Natasha. "Whatever," Kate says. She flips her hair. "I'm learning."

 please don't say you love me (cause i might not say it back) by tommyshepherdd (atimeforflores) (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: AU - Soulmates, hurt/comfort,  angst, background relationships, focus is on Billy & Tommy familial bonding

Tommy really should have figured that he wouldn't get a happy ending with his soul-mate.

 coffee shop interlude by becausefandom (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: fluff, chance meeting

If you’d told Kate Bishop a week ago that the guy who comes into the coffee shop every Wednesday, who orders a large black coffee and hums along every time Taylor Swift comes on the store’s playlist, was the Winter Soldier, she’d have laughed in your face.

 First Year by Kali Cephirot (10AlliraDream84) (PG)

Words: 500-1k

Tags: Hogwarts AU, humor, friendship

Seven children going to Hogwarts for the first time, and how they become friends.

 Waiting by the Phone by Kali Cephirot (10AlliraDream84) (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: friendship, humor, fluff, hijinks

Or three times Clint got ditched because Kate had to be with her team and one time he wasn't.

 You never call me when you're sober by Norickayer (PG-13)

Words: 500-1k

Tags: friendship, nonbinary character, alcohol

“Hey you hipster piece of shit, how some you never hang out with us anymore?” Kate Bishop croons into the phone about three decibels above the appropriate volume for such a call. “Just because you’re an evil betraying shitlord doesn’t mean you can’t call once in a while.”

 Life-changing Field Trips with Loki by Norickayer (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: Crossover/AU, nonbinary character, suspicion, humor

Team Avatar barely escaped from Ba Sing Se intact, thanks to the help of a mysterious musician they found under Lake Laogai. America has barely a month left to master two elements and defeat Fire Lord Odin when a familiar figure walks right into their camp. (scenes from a Young Avengers/Avatar:The Last Airbender fusion)

 And It's Magic by Norickayer (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: AU, fluff

“Billy, tell your patron god to stop stealing my pop-tarts!” Kate demands, brandishing an empty Pop-Tart box. “Loki can’t be my patron god,” Billy reminds her, “I’m Jewish.” Loki makes a ‘hurt’ face. “You wound me, Billy.” “Not as much as I will if you don’t stop stealing my stuff,” Kate warns, throwing the box into Loki’s face. (In which the presence of werewolves and vampires doesn't change much)

 grab a blanket, brother by Traincat (PG-13)

Words: 10-50k

Tags: found families, character study

Wherein Tommy Shepherd moves in with the Kaplans, freaks out, runs to Canada, goes looking for trouble, accidentally stalks the Avengers and tries to figure out his families. All of them.

 Duende by Ardatli (R)

Words: 10-50k

Tags: Au – no powers, crossover with criminal minds, suspicion, kidnapping, background pairings

duen•de [dwen-de; English doo-en-dey] noun. Having soul, a heightened state of emotion, expression and authenticity. Or, 'that one where the Young Avengers are college professors, and the BAU is investigating the campus.' A Profs!AU/Criminal Minds crossover.

Note: This is part of a very shippy series, but if I remember correctly this fic does not focus on that much.

 Stained in the Blood (of a whole generation) by Ardatli (R)

Words: 10-50k

Tags: AU – no powers, crossover with criminal minds, background pairings

A string of brutal deaths brings the FBI’s vaunted Behavioural Analysis Unit to New York City on the trail of a serial arsonist. But when the UnSub appears to target a young man named William Kaplan, it becomes clear that nothing at all is what it seems...

[aromantic-eight]

[id: three comic excerpts. The first, from Runaways, shows Xavin flying around the head of a Gibborim, trailing fire. The Gibborim says, “Unclean wretch! Earth is a sacred temple! What gives an outsider like you the right to sully our Holy Father’s planet?” Xavin replies, “I’m afraid your words are lost on me. Where I come from, we find religion obscenely boring.”

Second excerpt, from Runaways/Young Avengers Secret Invasion, shows an older Skrull in a patterned sleeveless robe standing at a pulpit addressing a small crowd of young Skrull in bodysuits. “Our people are scattered,” he says, “our homeworld shattered. Our end is near, it would seem. But there is hope, for those who would seek it. All our empire has known is conflict. War. This is our way now. But there is another way. There has come a savior.”

In the third, from the same, Teddy fights with a Skrull in a long cloak and a tiny bodysuit. Teddy says, “Hrrnn!! You... you know who I am. I am the son of princess Anelle, and of the Kree called Mar-Vell. It is my destiny to save the Skrull Empire. To unite our people.” The Skrull warrior yells, “You are nothing!” Teddy replies, “You know the prophecies. You have read them. But there is only one truith, and it is me. I was chosen by our God. He speaks to me. And he told me he does not love you.” The Skrull warrior pauses, unsure, and says, “What? No... that’s not---” end id]

I’m Sorry Xavin I Can’t Hear You Over Your Literal Royal Savior Cult.

[aromantic-eight]

[Softly lit album art depicting Billy and Teddy kissing, with the album name written over it]

Something Just Like This: A Billy/Teddy fan mix for pride month [8tracks].

something just like this - the chainsmokers & coldplay // because you loved me - celine dion // departures - grace petrie // if my heart was a house - owl city // just some guy - anthony rapp // do you dream of me - michael w. smith // tightrope - michelle williams // lucky - jason mraz & colbie caillat // little wonders - rob thomas // you always make me smile - kyle andrews // must have done something right - relienk k // better together - jack johnson // what a beautiful day - brett every

[aromantic-eight]

16!

16 - Fae AU

In which the young avengers are all some shade of fae, changeling, fae-touched, etc. And then also there’s Kate, a totally ordinary human.

In this snippet, Kate and America have a meet-cute.

Send us a number for an AU snippet

America had forgotten how much she hated human cities. It wasn’t just the iron. She could deal with the iron, unlike some fae she knew. It was the crowds. She’d ducked into a park that was less crowded than the morning streets and bought some ice cream, to consider her options.

There were a surprisingly large number of fae in New York. Tracking down a specific unseelie might take longer than she’d initially thought. Maybe if she—

Her ice cream went flying as 60 pounds of fur and claws crashed into her from the side. America felt claws in her shoulder and found herself staring at a snarling mouth. Shit. What the fuck was a hellhound doing in New York? Shit. America scrabbled at the ground, wincing at the pain that shot up her shoulder when she moved her arm, and pulled with her magic. She was off guard and a bit panicky, and barely got a blast of dirt in its face when it leaned in, mouth wide.

From out of her field of view she heard, “Lucky! Lucky, bad dog! Get off her!” The hellhound growled from where it still had America pinned and then, surprisingly, pulled away, and then disappeared entirely. America was left breathing hard and a bit stunned, but she hastily sat up and looked around for the hellhound. She found it trotting calmly toward a human woman dressed all in purple, with a hugely wide brimmed hat.

The human looked at the dog. “Bad dog,” she told it firmly. “Stay here.” And then started to approach America. America braced herself, drawing her magic close, as she watched the human approach warily. “I am so sorry,” the human said. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened he’s never done that before, I’m so, so sor—”

The woman stopped. She was 5 feet away now and staring directly at America’s face. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out. America wondered if this was one of the humans who could see through glamours, and waited to see what would happen next.

The human woman kept staring, mouth agape. America looked between the human and the hellhound, who was sitting meekly a good distance away. Obediently. Hellhounds were infamous for only mostly obeying the unseelie who’d made them. America’s eyes came back to the human when she noticed a hand being held right in front of her face. The human was looking at her expectantly. America shook her head. She concentrated, drawing on the dirt underneath her and coaxing it in streams up her arm and into the gouges in her shoulder. She sighed as the pain receded, and then reached out and allowed the human to help her to her feet.

“Wow,” the human said. “That was… awesome.” She looked around, uncertain, then rubbed the back of her neck. “Listen, I’m— let me take you out for coffee. As an apology. God, you were bleeding. I’m Kate.”

Kate stuck out her hand again. America looked at it. She looked back up at Kate’s face and said, “You know he hates me because he’s a hellhound, right? And I’m from the summer court.” Though hellhounds seemed to hate her, specifically, more than most. Hell if she knew why. “Your dog is a hellhound.”

~*~

They went for coffee.

It turned out Kate could not see through glamours, but knew her dog was a hellhound. A (human) friend of hers had saved its life and apparently earned its gratitude and loyalty. And then it had met Kate and “we just clicked right away, you know? He loves me.” The dog had a history, apparently, of growling at fae (Kate said this casually, as if being able to identify a fae on the street was a normal thing that everyone could do), but had never attacked one before.

“To be honest, I’ve never really met anybody from the summer court? Just winter.” Because Kate also knew multiple unseelie, and was—somehow—alive and in one piece. They were her friend’s ex-girlfriends, who still came around from time to time. The loved ones of a favorite toy being left alone, perhaps? (And then: maybe one of them is— but no, the fae she was after wouldn’t share).

She was the strangest human America had ever met. She sat across from America with her pumpkin spice latte and wiped whipped cream off of her lip as she talked about the summer court as though it were a place that you could go to for vacation, maybe. “My ex-girlfriend was stuck there for 8 years once, so now she’s still, like, a teenager, and also maybe undead? But like, it seems like a nice place.”

America sipped her own coffee and thought idly about wiping the cream off of Kate’s mouth herself. It was a nice mouth. Kate had a smile that made her lack of concern about all this endearing.

At the end of a story about her friend’s (“Clint”) last ex-girlfriend had managed to win Lucky’s affection (“she’s really great. Intense, though. Kind of like you. I bet you’d like her”), Kate gripped her latte cup in both hands and leaned forward. “You know what, I may as well ask. Do you wanna head back to my place after this? I have more coffee there.”

America could practically see the quotation marks around the word ‘coffee’. Kate wasn’t particularly subtle. And her lack of concern wasn’t so endearing anymore. This girl hung out with unseelie. She was going to get herself eaten.

Kate was looking at America expectantly, waiting for an answer still, and, well. Who knows what she’d go out and do if America said no? Clearly, America couldn’t let her out of her sight. That was absolutely the only reason she said yes. And the reason she said yes the next dozen times, as well.

[aromantic-eight]

23

23 - Mirrorverse

In which the Young Avengers are Evil ™ versions of themselves (except Loki, who is herself). 

In this snippet, Loki-as-Wanda gives Billy some advice. Things go rapidly downhill from there.

Send us a number for an AU snippet

***

She’d seen him sitting outside the mansion before. Maybe once or twice a month, since she’d taken Wanda’s place in the Avengers. He never approached, just sat there with his backpack and his phone, a dark haired, awkward teenager with a pensive frown. Another adoring mortal, hoping to catch a glimpse of the greatest heroes of Earth. Except this one didn’t feel like an ordinary human. There was a power there, simmering underneath the surface, twisting and tugging at reality to listen to it, obey it.

Loki peered through the drawn curtains of the mansion at the kid and wondered if he even knew the power was there. If he was a mutant, powers generally came out during the teenage years or later. He was around the right age, barely. Behind her, muffled conversation drifted from the kitchen; the sound of pots and utensils, and the occasional laughter. They’d be expecting Wanda soon, and Loki would suck it up and be that for them. Soon. But she felt like having some fun first.

She glanced behind her to check nobody was watching and then teleported out of the room. Between one moment and the next she was standing on a sidewalk just outside the mansion. It was a dismal day; the clouds that hung low over the street looked almost like smoke and there was a breeze that would probably feel chilly to a human. She pulled her hoodie up as though on a casual stroll as an extremely famous superhero and approached the kid.

“Are you all right?” It was important to be kind and concerned in situations like this. Kids responded well to it, she was pretty sure.

He didn’t even look up. “I’ll be okay. Thanks.” But he moved his backpack off the ledge beside him, so she took a seat. Kind and concerned. He was bleeding, she noticed, from his nose and had a rather nasty black eye. She asked him about it.

“I kinda got punched in the face, repeatedly.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m… different.” Of course.

The scarf said a lot, really. She bit back all of the reclaimed slurs she couldn’t use right now, because Wanda Maximoff was going to be the death of her, and unhappily went for— “Gay? Transgender?” She glanced at the mansion he was so fond of. “A mutant?”

He breathed a laugh and said, “I wish I was a mutant.”

Loki laughed. She wasn’t sure if it was what Wanda would have done, but honestly sometimes you had to go with what came naturally.

She looked at the angry, swollen mess of his eye and leaned toward him conspiratorially. “Can I tell you a secret?” she said. “I’d make every bullied kid a mutant if I could. Harder to pummel someone who can gut you with their mind.” Wanda, she reminded herself. Wanda wouldn’t be as pleased by that mental image, for some reason. She tried to dial back. “It’s not very superhero-ly of me to say, I know. Excessive force. With great power, et cetera.”

The kid finally looked up at that, startled, and his eyes went wider when they landed on her face. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “You’re… the Scarlet Witch. You’re my favorite Avenger.” He stopped, and briefly looked a bit like he’d just walked off a cliff and realized there was no bridge. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” He paused, then looked away. “You really think that?”

Of course Wanda was his favorite Avenger. Loki didn’t roll her eyes, somehow. It was adorable, in a way, and at the same time she hated the thought of him… wasting that potential the same way Wanda always had.

“I do,” she told him. “What are you planning to do tomorrow, when you see this bully again?”

The kid shrugged. “Run as quickly as possible in the other direction.”

“Then he wins,” she told him. “And you spend the rest of your high school years afraid. Sounds like a shit deal.”

The kid shrugged again. “What else can I do? If I had powers—”

“You don’t need powers to fuck up somebody’s day. Sure, it helps, but if you think one step ahead—” or travel back in time “—you can make their life miserable in all sorts of ways.”

The kid made a face. “That’s very inspirational, but when was the last time you dealt with anyone without your powers?”

“You know what, kid? I can’t argue with that.” She thought, fuck it, why not. “Come here.”

Hesitantly, the kid turned to face her fully. People really trusted Avengers a lot. Loki tapped him lightly on the forehead, just once, and the bruising around his eyes smoothed out into undamaged skin. As she moved her hand away she also tugged lightly at his powers, drawing them just a bit closer to the surface. “Next time you see that bully of yours, I have a feeling the fight’s gonna go a lot differently.”

She stood up, smoothing down her tragically scarlet hoodie. Behind her, the kid made an aborted, frustrated sound.

“That’s it?”

She turned around, walking across the street backward, and spread her arms. “Fuck ‘em up, kid. It’s you or them.”

***

Two weeks later, she was curled up in an armchair in the Avengers’ living room, watching a news story about a teenage mutant who’d killed two other students at his school when his powers manifested. Electricity. Nasty way to go. As the other Avengers sat riveted to the screen, making dismayed noises, Loki smiled to herself. Good for him.

[aromantic-eight]

15 - White Collar AU

Teddy is an FBI agent in New York's white collar division and devoted husband to Billy. A year and a half ago, he caught the infamous and ruthless con artist known only as Loki. Now he's made a deal with her: she agrees to help him bring in other white collar criminals and keep her nose clean, and he makes sure she doesn't spend the next 10 years stuck in solitary in a men's prison. It's a win win scenario, if they can make it work.

Send us a number for an AU snippet

+1:30

Teddy took her for coffee first, after the paperwork came through and an unsmiling guard latched a tracker on her leg and she was “released into his care.” She wasn’t sure why. The man seemed to genuinely like talking to her, even when she was only following every other word and the only thing she had to contribute were her latest theories about the plot against her life. Which Teddy didn’t even believe was real. Whatever. 

He left her at a motel (after reminding her of her radius, and and the five things she was allowed to do, and exactly when he would be arriving tomorrow to make sure she hadn’t bolted) and Loki took stock of her new room. It had a window, which was an improvement over solitary. You couldn’t see the sky, but it was the principle. It also had a bed with a frame that might hold her weight, walls that definitely wouldn’t, and a lock that might have worked once ten years ago. 

She examined it. Then examined the mattress, and likely hiding places, and considered the benefits of just carrying everything she owned in a huge purse. 

+2:11

There was a thrift shop just on the edge of her radius that sold clothes piled in huge wooden bins for a dollar each. Loki was there for thirty seconds before she realized the choice she was about to have to make, and texted Teddy.

‘What the fuck am I supposed to wear?’

The reply came back vaguely confused (‘something business formal?’) and then, half a second later, less confused (‘if anyone gives you shit they’ll answer to me, so wear what you want’ and ‘as long as it’s still business formal’).

She felt an emotion, then. She wasn’t exactly sure which one, but she’d been in nothing but prison issued men’s uniform for, fuck, 2 years? And the thought of having to keep doing that for the next forever of her work parole was suddenly intolerable, now there was an option not to. 

She walked to the skirts bin and started looking for anything black and pencil.

+4:53

She changed in the store and stuffed the old clothes in a hideous but large and sufficiently business-y purse. Carefully pulled the cuff of her boots over the tracking anklet and then checked the mirror and sighed with relief that the boot didn’t bulge noticeably. They were the only pair even vaguely the right shape that fit. She checked the rest of her; the jacket was slightly too tight and a different shade of black than the skirt, but it was passable, she thought. Automatically, she started placing it into a background (how did the woman in the mirror get here, what was she like?) and then stopped. This wasn’t a con, technically. The woman in the mirror was herself. Just…. a better, law-abiding version of herself. She’d have to be. Loki fingered her hair (past her shoulders, possibly the longest it had ever been) and selected a smile that would get her through the rest of the day. 

+5:21

The four months she’d spent as the demure makeup specialist in Hollywood, she’d worn $200 acrylic nails that could look like anything from fashionable obsidian to black lace. They were a far cry from the $2 bottle of black goop she’d found on the discount shelf, but even that was an expense she technically couldn’t afford right now. Loki rolled the bottle in her hand and figured she’d already been caught because of her insistence on black nails, always. It was far too late to back out now because of practicality. 

She left the drug store and lingered on the sidewalk. Looked up at the sky, half covered in clouds. Looked at the New York crowd and wondered- no. Not even Leah would have someone follow her through 5 hours of clothes shopping. Not when she had so many other ways of finding her. 

Loki had time, now, to figure out what she was going to do when that happened.

[aromantic-eight]

unlexlokiy

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“The AU Chat Ask Meme”

How about 26?

[walks in 5000 years late with Starbucks]

#26 is an AU affectionately titled Deep Space 9: Queer Edition. I was going to write an in-universe commercial for space makeup. "Our Smart Molecule Technology (TM) automatically detects surrounding molecules and fills in those pesky gaps left behind by shifting skin cells. no more embarrassing shifter smudge!", but unfortunately I know nothing about makeup commercials and completely failed to go locate some makeup commercials so I could try and mimic the [waves hand] vibe. 

So instead, because I do want to answer this, you get some worldbuilding excerpts.

The Nine Realms is a huge network of planets dominated by 9 races who style themselves a utopia. While not currently actively expanding, they maintain a large military and consider anything within their borders to be theirs. The Nine Realms refers to nine ‘provinces’ that make up the territory as a whole. Each province consists of several inhabited planets and often multiple solar systems. At the centre is the Aesir’s home system, with three planets and heavy infrastructure. Several species live within this territory, at varying levels of ~privilege. At the top of the pecking order, so to speak, are the Aesir, who enforce the laws of the realms and control the propaganda. 

Jotunheim is a large, mostly uninhabited province within the Nine Realms, separated from the major space lanes by a huge dark nebula (ífingr) that makes travel either hazardous or extremely long (if you go around). The main inhabited planet is considered somewhat backwards, and the relative independence afforded to it by the sparse travel makes the Aesir nervous. The planet is inhabited mainly by a species that employs involuntary shapeshifting that alters their appearance according to the expectations of the people around them. Their appearance is thus constantly in flux — something that most other people find unnerving.

When Earth sent an early colony ship to a planet in the Nine Realms’ territory, they quickly claimed the colony as theirs (graciously forgiving the humans for trespassing, as they are clearly new to the universe). Regular contact between this colony and earth has only recently been re-established.

This had a huge effect on Earth’s stance towards the rest of the galaxy, as they concluded that aliens were clearly not as reasonable or moral as humans. A strong xenophobic streak has dogged humanity through the centuries, to varying degrees. During present-day, humanity’s territory has expanded through colonies and space stations, with border colonies having different views on the outside than the Inner Circle, etc.

There are several species made up for this thus far. Some of them are named. Some of them have... placeholder names.

The Not!Trill are in fact two species- one is a tiny symbiote that can enter the body of another creature and control that creature as a host. Then there’s another sentient species from the same planet, which has a mutualistic relationship with the symbiotes and often serve as willing hosts. The word Not!Trill refers to aymbiote-host pair- they’re considered a gestalt being and use ‘we’ and ‘they’ pronouns. ‘Merging’ is permanent, and if one dies the other will follow.

The Not!Skrull are a shapeshifting species with conscious control over their shifting. Highkey biologized gender: you’re expected to transform to ~match your gender, and As Long As You Do That You’re Fine. 

The Demiurge are a species of non-corporeal eldritch horrors, basically, who use the bodies of corporeal entities basically like an assistive device to allow them to interact with the physical world and communicate with corporeal people. Taking over a body like this basically burns out the host’s brain, and most corporeal people are highkey Not Okay with it. In fact, many respectable/moderated space stations do not allow Demiurge onboard unless they pass a strict background check and can prove that their host was not obtained unethically. Billy and Tommy are the children of the Not!DS9 station’s official Demiurge representative, born on the station. Finding hosts for them was A Time. Tommy blends in with corporeals much better than Billy, who keeps hanging out in uncanny valley.

Most hivemind species come from the same area of space, and are part of their own alliance. David comes from one such species, which is completely unnamed, an aggressive colonizer, and also has a race memory. He Knows A Lot.

Other things we plan to add somewhere:

Interacting with a human who's mentioning a sibling or something, super casually, assuming that humans also have litters and then cannibalism means usually there’s one kid left in the end. So just casual "oh huh you have siblings? That’s cool I met these people once who both survived the same litter. They'd pair bonded and then refused to eat each other. I bet you’re really close with your sibling too."

human: [is not close with their sibling]

human: [is mildly horrified]

Normalized queerplatonic relationships

Have a culture where eating their dead is not only perfectly acceptable, but also the only moral and reasonable option. How could you dishonor them by casting their body out and refusing to let them help you and your family. Did you hate them that much?

What does alien gender expression look like, especially when you're shapeshifters. Explore this in Every Species.

A species somewhere with no sexual dimorphism, that draws gender lines entirely through body language and vocal pattern, or one that has no gender but strict castes/classes instead.

Species that breathes x but if x isn’t available they can also breath y successfully, with side effects.

Someone leaves their breather at home sometimes and wears it other times, depending on how up they are for dealing with, probably, general lethargy/other relatively mild symptoms.