#face album by jimin is out now

[rantingravingliving]

Knock me out senseless, Park

Go read:

“I tried looking deep within myself and being as honest as possible with this album.”

[onlyswan]

summary: in which a shameless ex-lover makes your bad day worse and jungkook can’t help but to go wherever you are.

> fluff, dashes of angst / wc: 4k

> warnings: mention of blood bc oc gets scratched :( + is ready to throw hands at jk’s ex and then cries lol, taehyung cameo and mentions of yeontan :P + a line of jk reminds me of the orpheus drabble <3

note: last one for a while as i take a rest from writing and process jimin’s album <3 reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! it goes a long way :]

—

“jungkook, you’ve been in there for an hour! answer your phone!”

you click your tongue in annoyance, bouncing your thighs up and down as you fiddle with the controller and collect your kills with reckless tenacity. the ringing of the third phone call he’s receiving in the past ten minutes is overpowering the volume of the game, which you turned all the way down just enough so that you can faintly yet clearly hear it. well, right now, you can’t anymore. again.

“baby, you’re home?!” jungkook yells in surprise, and you spare him a glance.

half of his naked torso is peeking out of the bathroom door, and he looks like a maltese puppy who heedlessly jumped into a swimming pool, hair still dripping wet and pure excitement painted all over his face.

“who’s calling anyway? you can answer it for me!“

“can’t. i’m playing call of duty.”

“you’re what?!” he exclaims, but his voice enters your ear then escapes from the other as you remain deeply absorbed in the game. he disappears for a minute before emerging from the bathroom, half-naked with a striped white and khaki towel wrapped around his waist down to his knees.

you’re situated on the floor with your back leaning on the couch. he stands beside you with his hands on his waist, watching the television screen in sheer curiosity, which then morphs into astonishment. “wow, you’re actually playing it… i haven’t seen you touch your controller in months. but why are you sudden- yah! what is this? how are you doing so good?!”

the phone lying on the center table lights up once more. the incessant noise is seriously getting into your nerves and you’ve had enough of it, gritting your teeth as you snap. “i’m begging you. answer it. or i might break something.”

the irritation embedded in your voice makes him jut out his bottom lip sadly. more than that, your facial expression and body language evidently scream that you’re feeling on edge. you didn’t even bother to let him know that you’ve come home, and he’s uncertain if you nearly muted the volume because you don’t want to listen to the ear-shattering sounds of ammunition being fired or you don’t want him to hear them.

he picks up the phone per your request, eyebrows knitting in confusion when he fails to recognize the number flashing on the screen.

“it’s an unregistered number. i don’t know who- oopsie-” he scrunches his nose, chuckling because he accidentally ended the call when he muted the device. it vibrates with a new message from the same person not too long after.

“it’s my ex?” he blinks with a blank expression on his face. he intently reads the content of the text, tugging at the silver ring piercing the corner of his lower lip. “uhhh- she’s… asking me to put in a good word for her… because she applied to be an in-house choreographer at- at the company.”

on the other hand, you feel like a bucket of ice water was dunked over your head at the mention of your boyfriend’s ex-lover. your vigorous focus on the game wavers, but luckily, you’re already so close to finishing, and you still maintain half a mind to end the game in your own terms. the word ‘victory’ flashes on the giant screen, and you almost break down into tears because god knows you needed a fucking win today.

jungkook gasps in amazement, whipping out the camera app to capture a photo of your achievement. “did you just fucking win solo versus squads?”

the thing is… you’re not the biggest fan of these games. sure, you play occasionally (only using his accounts because you like how he already has most items unlocked and you can freely play around… you like to pretend that you’ve never been scolded for making him rank down before), but you prefer the relaxing types with adorable and colorful graphics. and just like he said, you haven’t touched your controller in months, which must be the reason why he��s pleasantly surprised. you won’t be shocked if you get bombarded by his gamer friends to play with them tomorrow, by the looks of your boyfriend proudly typing away at his keyboard while smiling from ear-to-ear.

“don’t move on too fast.” you breathe out a deep sigh before standing on your feet. “which ex? that bitch you broke up with because she kept on picking stupid fights with your friends? and now she wants to work with them?”

the combination of your harsh intonation and the recollection of dreadful memories make him wince. that relationship didn’t end on good terms, so this is confusing to him as well. it was a person he wholeheartedly liked, but they barely lasted six months because the way she treated those who are near and dear to him, unkind and discorteous, eventually turned him off and made him nothing but angry. she tried to convince him that she could change, but it was his decision that could no longer be changed.

does it even matter? he didn’t dwell on it too long, anyway. because then, he met you.

“yes,” he shortly answers, flipping his phone so the screen is facing you.

your brain chooses to not register any of the other characters used in the text except for those at the end: the flirty ‘Thanks babe! I miss u so much. See u around soon. Let’s catch up’ and winking emoji blowing a red heart next to it. you release yet another sigh, this time shaky and frustrated, and you gently move his hand aside to get the phone out of your sight. a headache is beginning to blossom at your temples, and you truly do not have the energy to deal with this bullshit right now.

“you must know how i feel about this, right?”

“i’m not sure-”

“like if she calls you ‘babe’ infront of my face i won’t hold back and i will claw her eyes ou-“

“okay, okay, baby, i got it!” he chuckles, taking a hold of your arms to pull you closer to him. he plants a sweet kiss to your lips, hoping that would aid in putting your mind at ease. “i won’t let her call me that again, hmm? or do anything that will make either of us uncomfortable for that matter.”

“good. i trust you. do whatever you want.” you speak softly, giving his rosy cheek light pats. he always looks a dash more attractive when fresh from the shower, so entrancingly hypnotic when bare-faced that it makes you want to fall on your knees and worship the stardust making up his existence.

unfortunately, your mind is too clouded and restless and you can’t stay to admire him some more. you withdraw from his hold, the cold drops of water from his hair sliding down to your forearm and you wipe them away on his towel.

“i’m going out for a bit. i need to buy something at the convenience store.”

you don’t wait for him to answer. you head straight to the bedroom to collect your essentials.

“wait for me. i’ll go with you!”

you return wearing a long purple jacket over your blue t-shirt and white sweatpants, also carrying your phone, wallet and pepper spray.

“i’ll be fine alone. i got this.” you wave the small bottle infront of him before stuffing it in the pocket of your sweatpants.

the front door rings as it opens and shuts, and jungkook despises the weight sitting on top of his chest— heavier and heavier with your absence. he still wanted to insist on tagging along, worried because it’s already late at night, but he gave up when he sensed that you really need to be left alone.

“shit, let me take care of this first.” he tilts his head to the side, and then the other, cracking his neck before he scrolls through his contact list to make an important call.

—

the soles of your sneakers scratch the rough asphalt as you lazily drag yourself to the convenience store. you’re having one of those kind of bad days- you woke up this morning mad at the world for a reason you couldn’t decipher, and it only got worse after you left the house for work. you brushed against someone while chasing the bus and the zipper of their bag scratched your arm that it bled uncontrollably. the nearest restaurant to your workplace was closed and you had to walk an extra kilometer. you didn’t have the time to text jungkook and complain about the shitty day you’ve been having. and you had to suffer the bus ride home beside an old teacher from high school who never ran out of uninteresting stories to tell.

oh! and how can you not mention that you were subjected to remembering that your boyfriend fell in love with other people before he knew you? the mere mental image of jungkook being emotionally and physically intimate with somebody else is a strong punch in the gut that makes you want to run in a corner and hurl.

and to rub salt on the wound, his ex-girlfriend, who is more than comfortable to reach out to him with an old term of endearment, wants to work at close proximity with him after saying ‘i miss you so much’… was the ‘so much’ necessary? was saying ‘i miss you’ necessary at all? you don’t know her intentions or if she even has any, and you don’t care if they’re good or bad. you simply cannot bear the idea of having to be constantly plagued by these vexatious musings.

maybe a good cry would help, but the tears won’t come out of your stinging eyes blinded by bright and flickering neon shop signs lined up beside the street. they’re saltwater in your lungs, making it difficult for you to breathe and to make sense of why you don’t feel like yourself today. it’s hormones. it’s always the hormones, you try telling yourself.

—

you’re sitting infront of the glass wall separating the sidewalk and the convenience store, watching the humans and the cars speeding past without much thought in your head… except for the hellish torture you’re inflicting on yourself. you sniffle loudly as you chew the spicy noodles in your mouth. your tongue is tingling and almost numb, but you lift up the flimsy wooden chopsticks to eat more of it because somehow, this is exactly what you needed. perhaps, it wasn’t accidental when you ended up pouring most of the buldak sauce.

however, your own little bubble gets popped by a tattooed hand you recognize all too well. it sets down a bottle of cold water infront of your cup of noodles.

“hi there.”

jungkook kisses the top of your head before occupying the stool on your left, which is the second seat farthest from the door that chimes every time a new customer walks in. he is very much not naked anymore, wearing a plain white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. his hair is still damp, bangs forming a perfect comma on his forehead, and the thin silver chain dangling from his delicate neck sparkles when the light grazes it.

“aigoo, why are you so messy?“

the doe eyes behind his glasses smile at you warmly as he wipes your swollen lips, the paper napkin you’ve been neglecting now stained with the dark red sauce.

“you’re here?” you ask dumbly, wanting to slap yourself right after the words escape your mouth because yes, what the fuck, he’s here. he’s touching you, and he’s real.

“of course, i’m here,” his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek before he answers, sounding upset. he removes his glasses and places it on top of the long white table. “i just wore the first things i saw then speedwalked here. i was sorting out the laundry and your handkerchief had blood all over it! care to explain?”

you guiltily avoid eye-contact, reverting your attention to the food as you poke and mix the noodles that have gone dry due to the cold air. “you didn’t have to. i already cleaned the wound twice- my left arm just got scratched.” you shrug your shoulders meekly. “i had a bad day, that’s all.”

“who do i have to fight, huh? who hurt you and ruined your day?” he takes your chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting it up to make you look at him. his sincere concern is written all over his widened round eyes and creased forehead. “tell me, baby. i’ll make them pay.”

“well,” you anxiously sink your teeth on your bottom lip, a hesitant effort to control yourself because the particular word tastes too sour on your tongue. “your ex was just my last straw, you know? i don’t even want to call you ‘babe’ anymore.” your voice gradually quiets down in exasperation.

“why not?!”

you roll your eyes with a huff, pushing his hand away. “you’ll just remember her every time i say it.”

you grab the bottle of water, twisting off the cap and hissing when its ridges scratch the heel of your palm. you take big gulps of the beverage, feeling refreshed after the burning onslaught that assaulted your mouth.

“oh, come here. you- i need you closer.”

you squeak when you feel the heavy metal chair moving closer towards jungkook’s direction, one hand flying to your mouth and the other gripping his shoulder in fear of falling. he jokingly copies you when you send him a sharp glare. he puts an arm around you to affectionately hold the curve of your waist, anchoring his elbow on the table to rest his face on the palm of his hand.

“i took care of that, alright? i asked the company and they told me they put her on the waitlist. pretty sure she knows, too- that she’s not getting the job.“ he raises his perfectly shaped eyebrows in jest, playfully sticking out his tongue. “i told her i can’t help her, and not to contact me again in the future because i’m in a committed relationship. with you.” he squeezes your hip to reiterate his words. “then i blocked her number. i thought i did it before, but i guess i forgot to? ah, i don’t know!”

a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips and he happily grins when he notices, deep dimples making an appearance. unable to resist the urge, he briefly draws closer to kiss your cheek.

“besides, i forgot she even existed. why would i think of her when my favorite person is right infront of me? that’s absurd.”

he was truthfully flabbergasted at the foggy memories that resurfaced when he read her name, had one of those ‘oh, that’s right, this happened,’ and ‘why the fuck did i like this person again?’ moments.

“you’re the only one i think of when i hear the word ‘babe’. and when i hear love songs, or breakup songs, because they make me imagine us breaking up and i get so fucking sad.” his expression crumples into a look of sheepishness after spitting out the unplanned confession.

it’s terrifying at times, how an imaginary breakup with you feels more painful than his past heartbreaks combined. he almost lost you once, and he won’t let that happen again. he removes his hand on your waist to tenderly caress your hair when you bury your face in your hands.

shaking your head, you giggle at the genuine distress lacing his voice when he said the last sentence. “what are you saying?”

and then it finally happens.

restrained sobs replace the carefree giggles racking your body. your hot tears soak the palm of your hands until they drip down to your wrists. your frail voice comes out trembling, shattered, and disgustingly vulnerable for a space scattered with prying eyes and ears.

“…i just- fuck, i don’t want to say this but- i don’t think you understand- that i’m selfish. and i want you all for myself. i can’t stand that everybody wants to have you. i hate it, jungkook.”

your name rolls off from his tongue with a soft sigh as he pulls you in for a tight embrace. the comfort of his love and warmth further breaks you down, and you almost make yourself bleed to keep your cries quiet. his silken lips brush against your temple before he puckers them for a kiss that lasts four, five, six… seconds. you begin wondering if he might just stay like this forever, not that you mind, until he detaches himself to speak and you hear the smooching sound that signals the end of it.

“shhh, trust me, baby. i do.” he rubs your shoulder to soothe your tensed up body. “but i don’t care about that. they can die trying because i only want to be yours.”

you swallow the lump in your throat as his reassuring words tug at your heartstrings. you wiggle out of his secure arms, wiping your tears with the paws of your jacket as you force a smile. “it’s embarrassing. i don’t want to cry here.”

“how about in there, then?” he teasingly undoes the third button of his shirt, exposing more of his honey skin to the cool air. it reveals the rest of his silver chain, and his defined pecs are also peeking out. you whine in protest of his scandalousness, pounding his chest lightly with your closed fist.

he chuckles, corners of her crinkling with mischief as he buttons himself up again. “i’m kidding, i’m kidding-” he cradles your face in his hands, gingerly wiping away the tears still rolling down your cheeks.

between the two of you, he admits that he’s the one who cries more easily. it takes a colossal build-up of emotions for your tears to be released, and today’s influx caused your sink to overflow at long last. seeing you weep, it feels like a direct stab to the heart— especially unbearable, twisting deeper, when he’s part reason why. even so, it’s a big relief when the weight you’re carrying is being unloaded. but he understands that you don’t want to do that here… not here.

“as if you’ll let someone steal me away from you, huh? i know you, you cunning minx.”

you feign innocence, batting your eyelashes. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“that’s exactly what i’m talking about.” he smirks before planting a chaste kiss on tip of your nose. “don’t cry anymore. i love you.”

“i love you, too. but-” you sniffle, frowning at him as you motion at the cup of noodles infront of you. “why did you have to go and make me feel better? i don’t feel like finishing this anymore. it’s too spicy.”

“yeah, i can tell. look at your face. oh-” he squeezes your puffy face in one hand. “you were already crying eating that, poor baby… i’ll just finish the rest, how about that?”

“please,” you smile sweetly, delighted with his preposition. “i’ll buy ice cream. do you want anything? beer?”

“beer-” his face lights up like a christmas tree when it dawns on him that you said the word simultaneously.

you beam proudly, recounting the time you’ve been well-acquainted with every nook and cranny of jungkook’s essence of being. “did i pass the test? i’m taking my master’s degree in kookology.”

—

after jungkook finished your spicy noodles, he claimed his appetite only treated it as an appetizer and it demanded to be served ramyeon for the main course. that brings you to this moment, your boyfriend applying bandaids on your arm while he waits for his food to be cooked. concurrently, you devour your cone of vanilla ice cream.

“babe, i think two is enough.“ you attempt to stop him from opening another one of the teddy bear patterned bandaids. he found them displayed by the counter when he paid for the ramyeon, and only then did he realize that he forgot why he ran to you in the first place.

“they’re not- it goes all the way down your elbow.”

and you can’t argue with him because he looks undoubtedly pissed off, his expression instantly darkening when he saw the damage that damn zipper did to your skin. if this happened to him, he would be in a terrible mood for the rest of the day, too.

he plants a healing kiss on top of each one and your heart flutters at the loving gestures, but you feel a little ridiculous walking around with three bandaids running across your arm. you decide to wear your jacket again in order to hide them, since you’re freezing beside the airconditioner anyway.

jungkook starts eating his second round of noodles, but not before boasting that he perfectly separated the wooden chopsticks unlike you. you roll your eyes at his cocky grin and tiny dance of celebration, taking another bite of the cone you’ve consumed halfway.

the two of you comically freeze at the same time when a familiar ringtone tickles your ears.

“who would be calling at this hour? it’s 1am!” jungkook puts down his chopsticks to fish out his phone from the depths of his pocket, his thick satoori accent slipping out as he chides the person on the other line. he shakes his head with a laugh when he sees the name written on the screen. “ey, of course, it’s him again. i knew it.”

you watch him with an amused smile, his reaction giving you an inkling of who it is.

he answers the video call and props up the phone on his tall can of beer, grabbing his chopsticks to resume eating. “hyung, did you just wake up again?”

judging by the background, taehyung is in his gaming room. the given keywords being messy hair and eyes as puffy as yours, you’re pretty sure the answer to your boyfriend’s question is yes.

his deep and rough voice rumbles through the speaker. “jungkook-ah, i just caught up to our gc. where’s ___?”

“with me. why?” jungkook answers, words muffled as he chews and bounces his legs with the pleasure of having his food craving beyond satisfied.

taehyung ignores his question for the second time, instead calling out your name to catch your attention.

“whyyy?” you mimic his sulky tone, slightly shifting the phone to the side to show him your face.

you snicker when he flashes you his famous boxy smile, almost choking on your ice cream when his following remarks cause jungkook to throw a fit.

“play with me. no one else is awake and i’m getting bored of jungkook. he doesn’t want to play new games.”

“yah! you know i can still hear you, right?!” he takes a break from chugging his beer to throw his retort.

“i know, i wanted you to.” taehyung blows a raspberry at his best friend.

you grimace, stealing the opportunity to butt in before their banter lengthens. “listen, i’ll play with you if you let me play with tannie again.”

he opens his mouth to answer, but he quickly closes it again to stare at you nonchalantly. you impatiently quirk an eyebrow at his silence. “soooo?”

“wait there. i’ll think about it.”

and then he ends the call.

jungkook throws his head back, bursting into vibrant laughter after witnessing the interaction, and your head drops on the table with a pitiful whimper.

with bam staying at the training center for the meantime, you awfully miss the rush of happy chemicals flooding your brain in the company of man’s best friend. it was two weeks ago when you and jungkook hung out at taehyung’s house. you spent some time with yeontan at the park after you complained about getting bored watching them play ‘i’m on observation duty’. and he wasn’t… very happy when his dog started flat-out ignoring him in favor of your presence ever since you came back from the walk. tannie was adamant on sitting on your lap during dinnertime, even almost following you past the front door when it was time for you to leave.

“aww, my baby.” jungkook strokes your back with faux sympathy. “he hasn’t moved on from it yet. give him some time… maybe, like, five more minutes?”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[kanmom51]

I actually have a crazy theory...

I have already sent this ask as the response to someone else’s thoughts, but then I thought about it and I REALLY wanted to know your opinion about this.

I think Jikook by the beginning of last year didn't know they were enlisting together.

I think they obviously knew about buddy system but didn't actually think they would need to use it. Because it's not really done by idols, and also they both could've gone to safer and easier stations, where they could have more freedom.

BUT THEN Jimin started working intensely on his album and JK started acting out (like having drunken lives), and it became VERY CLEAR that they would not be able to do 18 months apart.

I mean do you remember, that at this time JK said himself that he was not working on anything. And I think the plan was for Jimin to go first (just like a lot of us thought he would) and for JK to have more time for promo alone, when others are gone (I’m pretty sure that HYBE definitely wanted for JK to have big solo debut apart from other members).

But then like I said the drunken lives happened and realization hit, that they have to apply for buddy system, that 18 months apart would be BAD for both of them.

And that's when HYBE (or whoever) made specific demands from JK. Like if he wanted to leave by the end of the year (and he had to for buddy system to work) he HAS TO do the album, and because there was no time to write it from scratch they got all the English songs. Also his schedule was extremely packed and difficult.

So I think that the travel show was something Jikook specifically done for themselves because JK's schedule was so insane that if not for that excuse they would not be able to hang out freely before the enlistment. (By the way am I the only one who thinks that we are getting the travel show only next year? And waiting for it now is kinda crazy?)

But again it's just my theory, mostly because HYBE doesn't feel (to me) like the company who would just let their artists do whatever they want. To me they are waaay more pragmatic than that, and if they decided to allow their stars to enlist together (something that isn't really done in idol culture), than they would make sure to get something in return. They worked JK very hard, and I think he took it because he had a specific goal (more like a person) in mind that he was willing to work for.

So, although we might be on the same wave with some of your thoughts, I don't fully agree with you.

I agree that they didn't know they would be enlisting together way back at the start of 2023.

I think that way back then they were still struggling with the realization that they will have to be enlisting. All the way back to the end of 2022, basically up to around the Busan concert, which was October 2022, they still held hope that some kind of arrangement could and would be found to allow for them not to enlist or to serve a shorter term. It was quite a conundrum for them, something I think most of them struggled with (and I say most because I do think that at least one of them did genuinely want to enlist) - on the one hand this is a life changing pretty scary thing (terrifying even - we saw how sad, and I will even say broken, JM was having to shave off his hair, and that was only a small part of it) they would have to do (joining the army is not a walk in the park, no pun intended), not to mention being in their prime, in the height of their success, having to part with the life they are accustomed to (professionally and personally), not being something they would necessarily want to do. And on the other hand you have that sense of commitment to the country and to their fellow Koreans, that have to face that same compulsory enlistment, adding the knowledge that not taking that path of enlistment could also come at a price. Like us, they knew that there were those that indeed believed they should be given an exemption, but at the same time many Koreans would have frowned upon it, and it's them that have to live among their people. Also, enlisting like any other SK young man would allow them more freedom in the future when it comes to voicing their opinions, as they had, like all others who had served their country fulfilling their duties. Criticisms of anything within a society you live in is easier to swallow when the person voicing said opinion is part of that society and enjoys not only the rights bestowed on those who live there, but has also fulfilled all required duties as well.

Long story short, end of 2022 the decision to enlist became a reality and Jin enlisting hit them all VERY hard. At that point I don't think they had a plan of enlistment just yet, although we do know from RM, for instance, that he was supposed to enlist with Hobi but ended up pushing back as he was busy working on his album and preferred not to lose the momentum.

And btw, hearing this from RM also teaches us that JM was never going to enlist so early on. And here I think our ways part when it comes to the continuation of your theory, because I do believe that JM's plan had ALWAYS been to stick around for JK's solo debut, whenever that would be. And I'll get back to it in a few...

JK was struggling start of 2023. What we got to see, starting with his lives in Feb 2023, him deleting his IG, was him pulling himself out of the pit he was in. Taking initiative and deleting his IG (which I will once again say was a big old F U to the company) and reaching out to us with his lives was JK becoming more active in getting better.

*Side note: I'm using the term getting better meaning pulling yourself out of a bad place you are in mentally (one that effects you physically as well).

Idk if starting the lives was a conscious decision on his part towards getting better, but I do believe that starting them was a key part in it.

Talking to us, sharing things with us, setting (at least trying to set) boundaries with his fans what is and is not acceptable on his part as an idol when it comes to fan behavior and interactions with him, doing it all in the most JK way, intelligently and respectfully.

JM was busy all the way from end of July 2023 through to the release of Face and until the end of his promotions. It's not that they weren't seeing each other or spending time together during this time. It's not that JM wasn't there for JK, as much as he could in the moment. It's very important to state this. But JK was struggling with everything. It's the hiatus, Jin's enlistment, their looming enlistment (the unknown of what will be with the two of them - separation for such a long time is something that both of them would find extremely hard to handle for so many reasons), the lack of direction, the lack of a structured timetable (JK is neuro divergent - there is zero doubt in my mind - if it's asd or adhd or a combination of the two, which in my mind is the most likely of them all). He was kind of lost and his anchor, JM, was not available in the way that he needed. Not JM's fault. Not JK's fault. It just was what it was, and JK was a little lost. It's natural for something like this to happen. I spoke about it quite a bit in my posts about his lives at the time. We saw RM was kind of lost for a while there too. The trick is to pick yourself up and pull yourself out of it (with help of others if necessary), and JK did, and JM was ecstatic to see him doing it. Those comments of his during JK's lives (we are talking about the lives during Feb-Mar 2023) were testimony to that.

Once again I can't seem to reign myself in and keep on point, lol.

So, where was I? Oh yes, they didn't know what will happen, but at the same time JM was not planning on enlisting earlier that year. Understand this: JM enlisting earlier would, to them, mean them being apart for not 18 months, but for 18 months plus. Plus the time between JM's enlistment and JK's enlistment. And plus the time from JM's discharge to JK's discharge. Even without JK's situation this was not something that they would want or agree on. Not to mention JK not only wanting JM around for his solo debut, but NEEDING him around for it. And it's not about being by his side 24/7, which he wasn't and he couldn't be. It's about being accessible. Being there to support him if he needed. Whenever he needed it. Being able to be with him for his first solo performance (this brings me close to another ask I received and am working on regarding JK's FIRST big solo performance). All this has to be within the limits of their glass closet (glass getting a little murky for their own liking since the end of 2021 all the way to the end of 2023), and the limits set by the powers of be (some of which JK very defiantly crossed). So yeah, JM was going to wait for JK's solo debut before enlisting.

As for enlisting together. That was something that was being assessed and in the works for several months. Something obviously kept quiet for good reason.

Was there a give and take with the company when it came to JK and the album? 100%. There were things he wanted, there were things they wanted, there were frogs that it being a first solo album he knew he would have to swallow.

Were some of these concessions given to allow the two more freedom, like allowing the 'travel show'? I do believe they were. Perhaps also prices paid (with Golden) for demands agreed upon in their new contracts. I can definitely see that happening.

The push for a full length album could be one of those, for example. JK was talking about a mini album even as late as mid July, and then it turned into a full length album. Could it have been the company pressuring him into it? Yes it could, as in the company wanting this. But JK is not one to cave in just because the company wants. So very possibly we had a bit of give and take going on here, and some of it most definitley would have had to do with allowances made for the two of them.

But at the same time I don't think it had anything to do with the joint enlistment. Not only don't I think that the company would have a say in it, legally or morally, but this wouldn't be something that either of them would stand for. So, in case I didn't make myself clear here, I will say it again - the company didn't use the possibility of joint enlistment as a tool to get something extra out of JK.

You talk about Hybe not being a company that will allow their artists to do as they wish. BTS belong to Big Hit, which is a subsidiary of Hybe. But Hybe would not have existed if not for BTS. BTS made BH what it is today and Hybe was built on their coat tails. And BTS, the members, they have enjoyed many freedoms within their company over the years. Not full freedom though. And Jikook, well they were allowed to be (while in other companies this was not allowed, couples forced apart or forced out). And not only were they allowed to be, but towards the end of 2020 there was movement towards normalizing their relationship, ear suck, hickey and all.

But then came Hybe and Hybe going public, and I knew the day that was announced that even though the members will get a huge payout this move will cost them freedoms they already had, because now there were shareholders and share prices to worry about, and when your band is the main bread winner for that company, well, as I mentioned, there is a price to pay. And they have been paying that price. The two of them for the 2 years prior to their enlistment. As long as they were under their old contracts they were bound by them. Which is why I feel like there will be changes coming when they are done with their MS and well into their new contracts. This will be freedom regarding their art (I think we can already see part of that with RM's new album) but also regarding their personal lives, in a sense of what they can or cannot show if they choose to. JK telling us he's human, telling us he loves us but he deserves to be happy, or even more needs to be happy to be able to create and perform and make us happy (you need to be especially dense if you don't understand that this also includes being in a relationship with another person, who may or may not be a member of his own band). This includes setting boundaries with their fans - yes they love them and feel indebted to them, but at the same time they need to stay in their own lane (I do think JK has been too nice at times setting these boundaries, while others like RM, Yoongi and Tae - a couple of times - were way blunter).

Once again, Hybe wouldn't have the right to 'allow' or 'disallow' them to enlist together. This would have been their decision and theirs alone. Hybe could talk about timing and what they would like to happen before or after, but not if it can or will happen. Hybe could like or dislike it, support it or not, but they would have no power over it. The military alone would have a say if to allow it or not, and at the end of the day we know how that one ended.

I also want to touch on another point.

Again.

Their choice to enlist together.

I've seen talk about Jikookers using the term NEED when it comes to the two of them - needing to be with one another to get through their military service, and I wanted to put in my two cents on this.

The way I think of it is that when people use the term need in that case it's not about saying that if they weren't allowed to enlist together they wouldn't have survived it. No. That isn't it. Not in my opinion, in any case.

These two young men are strong physically and mentally, and they would get through whatever was thrown their way (wouldn't be easy, I tell you that, but they would get through it). Chances are that if they wouldn't have gone down the path of enlisting together they could have landed a cushier placement, band perhaps, like NJ, who knows. But definitley the choice to do this together had a price tag to it, and their letters from Festa tell us as much as well (even though they obviously sugar coat it for us, but the sentiments are clear - it's hard).

So, they chose this. They knew this was going to be hard. A harder, more difficult, placement if they were to go down this path. And yet this was their choice!!

Why?

And here comes that NEED into play.

Yes, I do think that they needed this. They needed each other. They needed to not be separated for 18 months not knowing if and how often they could get to see each other or be together (maybe, if allowed, once in 3 months, and only if their units allowed the time off at the same time). They needed that person that they trusted and KNEW that would stand by their side, that would support them, be their rock, catch them when they fall, be by their side in their time of need, just like they always have been.

They are each other's PERSON. The one that would ALWAYS be there through good and bad.

They both put it down in words:

JM

And JK

Shock, awe... I must be one of those delusional Jikookers that believe JK's lyrics were not describing his relationship with us, the fans. Another song written for the one person they love, yet given as a gift to Army.

And in his very subtle but intelligent way, he told us that himself:

"Even when I was working on the song, I really wanted to release it as a fan song".

Just like JM did, eh?

Would it be too hard to just say : "I wrote this song for my fans"? He chose not to, didn't he? Once again we have choices here.

I digress.

You could replace NEED with WANT, if you will. Same same in this case, imo. Seeing how hard they fought to find their way to this exact point.

The first, the only idols to ever do this!!

Bottom line:

To me, using the term NEED in this context is not about them not being able to make it otherwise, but more about a choice made to have that person they feel closest to, the person that has since forever been their emotional anchor, the person that lifted them up when they fell, the person that stood by them, cared for them, supported them when they were struggling. The person that KNEW them to the core and would be there by their side to get through this together with.

Each other.

[ressjeon]

desperate | pjm (m.)

pairing: model!jimin x pa!reader

summary: being Jimin's assistant made you immune from his flirty tactics, but somehow you find it hard to resist him when he unusually becomes desperate.

rating: 18+ | word count: 3.8k

genre/au: smut (a bit of plot if you squint)

warnings/content: crude language, masturbation, fellatio, handjob, deepthroating, face fucking?, switch dynamics, a lot of pining ig, cheeky jimin that has many lustful thoughts and he's a brat too oml

a/n: been a long while and this is unplanned as always lmao. was supposed to be posted on the 14th but the universe said no so i couldn’t post it. anyways, this is for the 2nd anniversary of this blog’s official debut in this community so why not post a fic of the person who made me start writing in the first place, as the first fic of 2023 just like he was my first fic in this blog (just in time with vibe’s release, his solo album announcement and his official partnership with Dior too! 0.0). thank you Jimin for being my light, i love you 🥰

― masterlist — navigation — wips

You’re currently on your knees, helping Jimin out with his problem.

Not that kind, goodness no. He’s been doing practice poses for his shoot as soon as he arrived like he always does in each photoshoot. You ignored his flushed look when he entered the studio, already knowing his morning routine and went straight for the pre-shoot meeting. Everything was smooth until you noticed some stain on his black pants when you were checking him for any final touches.

So here you are now, dabbing the wet wipes around the spot on his thigh while he’s leaning against the frame of the glass partition behind him. 

He’s lucky that most of the staff are not here yet so you have time to remove the stain from his pants, a cum stain that almost made you scream when he told you sheepishly that it was from some girl he fucked this morning before coming to the studio.

“are you still mad? i told you i didn't realize she’d be a creamer”

In any other situation, this would've been a strange exchange with someone you essentially work for. Jimin has no filter in the way he talks to you but you don’t really mind it as you do the same. You and he have grown closer to one another each day since you started working for him so these types of conversations became normal between you both.

It's one of the perks of Jimin hiring someone around his age for a personal assistant. You've been with him from the very start of his career, barely scraping anything during that time with the both of you fresh from graduation. When he initially asked you, you looked at him incredulously because his plan was quite risky. Jimin understood your hesitance but he was surprised when you finally agreed after a bit of consideration.

Your friends said that it must be the puppy eyes that he constantly gives you but no, you knew of Jimin during college. It’s common knowledge from your mutual acquaintances of how hardworking he is and you’ve witnessed it a few times before so you said yes because why not. You're both in the same boat anyways, still looking for other jobs and who knows, if this works then it will be great for your future careers. 

You remember when Jimin got his very first paycheck, running up to you with a tight hug and asking you something that you’ve been wanting for a while. You were confused but then he cracked a smile and revealed that he wanted to treat you as a gratitude for doing your best to find casting calls and gigs for him. You were happy of course, with both of your hard work finally coming to fruition.

This dynamic you have with Jimin as a very close friend and colleague has been pretty balanced as the years go by. There are times when you fought, unavoidable with your contrasting personalities but you both became comfortable with one another regardless. This makes your teamwork efficient with more understanding from both sides as your relationship gets closer.

“believe me, it’s hers, not mine i swear” he adds, repeating what he explained earlier when you don’t answer him.

Thoughts aside, you do, of course, believe him because Jimin’s one of the most responsible guys you’ve ever known. He always comes prepared for photoshoots and arrives early to do last-minute check-ups despite what his shenanigans are the night before like earlier today. He’ll never go bare with anyone to avoid risks because he already experienced some scares before from past hookups.

No answer from you still but it’s partly because you've been in shambles on the inside with what you feel for him these days. You’re not only annoyed by this whole thing but you also felt uneasy at what he said. You’ve been used to it but you somehow felt the sting when he explicitly laid out his latest hookup. 

You’ll never admit to yourself or him why because it would be unprofessional.

At the same time, you’ve also been fighting to focus only on finishing up what you’re doing, occasionally straying your eyes toward the glass windows to calm yourself down. He was practically naked in front of you, with his damn gold necklace where its round pendant dances around his belly button and pointing down to the huge bulge he was sporting. And it would’ve helped if he’s covered, at least while you’re still on the floor. But apparently, he felt the need to not zip it up and just wear it as it is, torturing you with his sculpted body. 

You shouldn’t mind it but you’re a bit suspicious because Jimin’s always been involved in his photoshoots. He always consults with you regarding his outfits even if it’s not part of your job. He often asks for your input as well, discussing his ideas with you before he gives them a go. For this shoot, he picked this specific hooded jacket among all the ones that you’ve shown him, insisting on wearing it without anything under it because this one is apparently very loose. 

Which became an immense distraction to you. 

You remember zoning out earlier in the meeting room when Jimin was picking the final photos from his pre-shoot, trying all the concepts that he’s been wanting to do. You were already a mess with his slicked-back hair and exposed body along with his tight pants. And now you couldn't stop staring at his veiny hands as they hovered around the pictures. The gold rings on both of his index fingers didn’t help either, turning your focus on them instead of listening to him explaining to you and his stylist. 

Jimin of course notices and teases you like always. Though he’s been doing it more frequently these days, adding more to the brewing tension between you. 

He ran his fingers through the pinned pictures on the pegboard and casually picked up the pictures near where you were standing by the edge of the table. He leans closer and closer so you have to fight the urge to look at him, instead focusing your attention on talking with this stylist.

“you alright, __?”

You just scoff and roll your eyes at him, brushing him off with an excuse of being sleep deprived. He’s doing this on purpose, he could’ve lied to you earlier about fucking someone because how is he still hard? Thankfully he zipped up for now so his oversized jacket covers it but you knew he had a hunch about why you’d been acting weird around him right now.

Jimin's been smiling, knowing that his current hairstyle has been your favourite. He noticed it when he had his rainbow blond one last time where you couldn't stop touching his hair, hands constantly on it whether hair spraying it or simply tugging its strands whenever you can, reasoning that it's looking messy though it's not.

You couldn't stop looking at him too, eyes staying on him more than you ever did since working for him. That's why he specifically talked to the stylist and the photographer about bringing this hairstyle back for this photoshoot since it’ll also fit with his whole look. Also, you’ve been sneaking glances at him today which has been lifting up his mood. It just adds to how hard his dick is already, affecting you this much makes him very excited for today.

“Jimin, you can't do the shoot with this” you will yourself to ask, relieved that your voice came out sterned. When you look up at him, Jimin swears that his cock just twitched at the view of you in this position, his thoughts playing a different scenario where you’re giving him the suck of his life.

“then help me..” he mindlessly responded, totally not paying attention to what you’re referring to. He's not sure really, his mind’s still hazy and all he can think of is the ache of his balls from not being able to cum earlier.

“i’m trying” you grumble, ignoring his pouting. He’s adorable when he’s like this, and he uses that on you when he wants something. Sometimes it works when he combines it with his affectionate touches but you have to be strong this time. You’re not even sure what he’s specifically talking about but then you’ve also been occupied in trying to fight off your growing lust for him. 

Jimin’s pout turns into a grin after catching your eyes flickering from looking anywhere and on his bulge again, he can sense how your hand’s so tempted to touch it with how much you’re gripping his pants. Your hand continues to fidget, eyes unfocused as you continue to wipe off that stain as hard as you can just in case. You don’t look annoyed now either, but you’re wearing a struggling expression that tells him just how conflicted you are at this moment.

You’re beyond torn because that fucking tent of his pants is dissolving your annoyance little by little with sinful thoughts already creeping up your mind the longer you stay down the floor. 

“where are you looking at?”

“the city view looks good from here”

You automatically answer, clearing your throat in the process before gathering up the pack of wet wipes and the damp cloth along with a bowl of cold water from the ground. You avoid looking at Jimin’s face because you knew he was going to try something now that he noticed your slight slip of judgment.

“yeah, the view is amazing but my view from here is better”

“up or down?” 

“both, but i’d say down. you’d say the opposite, right __?”

You almost dropped what you're holding at his remark but this is nothing new to you: Jimin shamelessly throwing his lewd innuendos at you at any chance he got. You indulge him in it, after all, it’s just harmless flirting between friends, something that you never expected when you took this job. Sometimes it's part of your banter, you doing the same thing to him which catches him off guard sometimes when he's focusing on something while working. You especially do it when discussions of his escapades come to light, which you helped in arranging because of his demanding schedules.

Yes, you’re this dedicated to your job even if it sometimes causes an ache in your heart. 

“why? didn’t you fuck someone?” you deflect, not giving him the satisfaction of knowing how much he’s affecting you.

“yeah but i didn’t get to cum, couldn’t…” he trails off as he closes his eyes and grabs his crotch to hopefully feel a little bit of comfort but it's no use. He wants to tell you why he couldn't, wants to let you know who has been stopping him from getting off with other people but you don't care anyways.

“then get rid of it, you still have time”

You state with urgency, nervously looking around if anyone saw but everyone’s been doing their own thing. Patting his thigh, you stand up from your kneeling position and push aside your want to help him in getting rid of it. He might be good at hiding his expressions but he does look like he’s been struggling for hours since he arrived on set. Jimin didn’t do anything but huff before retreating to the dressing room to take care of his problem.

Now that most of the staff are here, you check in with them for any possible last-minute changes. It took your mind off Jimin a bit but your eyes couldn’t stop glancing at the door of his dressing room. You shake your head, pushing yourself to focus on your current task. It’s still early but you want to make sure Jimin’s ready when the scheduled time for his photoshoot is on. This is an important shoot for him so you just hope that he finishes as soon as possible to not keep everyone waiting. 

After you’ve double-checked everything, you decide to fetch Jimin. Nearing his door though is making you more agitated than you already are. You’re about to knock when you hear his loud, sexy groan. fuck. 

You haven't really heard how Jimin sounds properly because each time you catch him fucking someone, either during his breaks or random times when you need something for him to confirm, his partners’ moans usually overpower his so this is quite new, and you won’t deny that you'd love to hear more of it.

“oh fuck..fuck”

Jimin being this loud causes you to panic at the possibility of anyone in the studio hearing him like this. This might not be new for some of the staff but still, you just don’t want everyone to hear how he sounds like. 

You took a deep breath before wandering your eyes around if anyone was watching but thankfully, everyone was busy.

.

He wonders if you’re listening, purposely moaning louder than he intends to as he fists his cock. You probably don’t care and if you ever catch him, you’ll just ignore his attempts and scold him for taking too long at this. It’s always been the case with you but he does find it amusing to piss you off more.

So when he hears the door opening, a smirk creeps up on his face before opening his half-lidded eyes.

“y–”

“shut up” you seethe as you approach his propping form on his vanity. He thinks it's just one of his imaginations again, indulging him with his fantasies. But when he feels you grab the chain of his wrap necklace towards you, his eyes open fully before releasing a small gasp. The smaller chain loop fastens gradually around his neck when you begin pulling its long chain gently while looking into his eyes. He maintains eye contact and you notice the hunger and mischief in them as you continue to pull his necklace.

“s-shit” he whines quietly, though the smirk still remains on his gorgeous face as his hand continues to stroke his cock even faster. His other hand reaches for the dark bottle of lube, bringing it in front of you before pumping its nozzle on his very angry tip.

He closes his eyes again, placing the bottle back on the table while his other hand spreads the lube around his dick. You’re speechless for a second with this whole show he’s putting on, pausing to watch him. It’s when his other hand comes up in an attempt to touch you to come closer that breaks your reverie, swatting his hand away.

You stare him down, brows scrunching while contemplating what to do next. This would be crossing whatever boundaries you have with Jimin both in your personal and professional relationship. You had to look away from him to think this through. You’re used to seeing him semi-naked with other people before but not like this. Him now naked from the waist down in front of you, his tight black pants pooling around his ankles.

It’s Jimin’s desperate whimpers that made your mind up. There’s no point in denying wanting the same thing he desires from you.

“i’ll help you but don't make a sound” you command and he nods, too fucked out to respond because all he wants is his release.

Your hand replaces his before you kneel on the hard floor, immediately swallowing his cock to not waste more time. One of Jimin’s hands is on your head at once, not gripping your hair but just holding onto you for support because fuck, your mouth feels so much better than his hands, hell it's even better than pussies he’s had before.

It’s you, of course, Jimin has always thought about how much better you’ll be at pleasuring him than others. He smiles after noticing your demeanour change as soon as your mouth envelops him. It must be the lube flavour that he specifically picked knowing apple’s one of your favourites. Your mouth is greedily sucking him in now, warm tongue lapping up the entirety of his cock.

"you were drooling for my cock earlier, hmm? bet you wouldn't mind sucking me off in front of everyone outside" his mocking tone shudders, his attempt of gaining control wavering with you being encouraged by what he said. You bob your head faster, opening your mouth more to take him deeper cause the view from where you are is spurring you to do more. Jimin in his fucked out glory is a sight to watch, his gold link earrings swaying as he tosses his head back, his plump lips getting swollen from him biting them to hold his moans in.

You want to see more of it. 

When Jimin’s not closing his eyes from the pleasure, they never leave yours as he stares right into them. He surprises you when he gets up from leaning on the vanity, his hand moving from the top of your head down to the back of your neck to pull you closer to him. This made him push deeper into your mouth so you loosen your jaw, the new angle allowing more of his length in your mouth. As soon as his tip reaches the back of your throat, you’re unable to stop releasing gurgling moans when it nudges further.

“can’t..believe..you’re.. choking on my cock right now..”

Jimin rasps needily as he rolls his hips slowly, deeper with each thrust. The vibrations from your moans are not helping him in holding his orgasm longer. He’s been trying hard because he wants to prolong this, relish this view of you on your knees and your mouth on him because who knows if this will ever happen again. He’s losing himself, grinding on your face while his hand starts massaging your nape in time with his thrusts.

Now you’re confused because you for sure thought that he’ll start fucking your throat roughly the moment you allowed him but he’s not. You take a deep breath through your nose as you come up, readying your throat in case he’ll change his mind later when he’s close to cumming. But the way he’s touching your nape is making you relax, distracting you from your main reason for helping him in the first place.

He’s close already, his cock's been throbbing before you started bobbing your head earlier. His pace also changes a bit faster but is still slow and you’re confused as to why he’s been holding back. His breathing turns erratic and his lower abs are flexing. You know it so before he does so dig your nails into both of his meaty thighs before one of your hands leaves and pushes away his hold on your head. 

You take him deeper until your lips reach the skin of his crotch, immediately pushing back when he grabs your head again, releasing his cock from your mouth which causes Jimin to whimper in frustration.

“that's for making me wipe other girl's cum on your pants” you glare at him, voice hoarse from taking him that deep in your throat. Standing up from kneeling was making your legs wonky, feeling numb from your previous position but your mind’s not on it with your prior annoyance resurfacing because of his attempt to pacify you.

Jimin, however, begins laughing.

Your brows rise from his reaction, totally not expecting this because you were really sure that you already got him under you.

“so you’re jealous after all,”

“i’m not, i wouldn’t help you if i were” you counter, avoiding his eyes as you pull his jacket back on him, it was slipping on one side already, showing his muscular arms and the tattoo on his ribs. Your fingers have minds of their own when you start tracing each of the letters, causing Jimin to shiver at your touches but the devilish smile remains on his handsome face.

“but you’re doing it to prove something, right?”

You don’t know how to answer him and you don’t want to tell him the truth because it’ll just feed his already massive ego. Instead, you grab his swollen dick, hot and heavy in your hands and begin stroking him roughly. The slick from the lube, his precum and your saliva made it easier for your plan. There’s no way you’ll let him, he’ll never be able to make you admit it.

The smile disappears from his lips as his whole body shakes with a cry, not expecting your punishing pace on him. You want to look at him, to watch his smug face morph back into a pliant one.

But you can’t.

Jimin couldn't cum earlier while fucking another girl because all he can think about is you and now you’re doing what exactly he’s been imagining for months, years. You’re still not looking at him, your brows scrunching in focus on jerking him off. He can’t stop himself from bucking into your hands when your thumb starts flicking his mushroom tip, nudging his frenulum with your index finger before squeezing his shaft each time you do it.

You’re honestly amazed at how Jimin manages to hold off his climax this long but it shouldn’t surprise you when he has such incredible control of his body. It’s when your other hand reaches out to pull his necklace again to pull him towards you, that he finally gives in. It never crossed your mind that modifying this necklace by combining it with his gold link could serve as an advantage for you when playing with him.

Jimin’s hand leaves the table to muffle his mouth, eyes somewhat begging you to let him cum. You smile and he lets himself go through a series of incoherent cries, still covering his mouth like you ordered him to. And despite knowing how loud he can be, you quickly move to remove his hands to finally hear the delicious moans that he’s been obediently keeping. 

He continues to rock his hips despite the overstimulation, trying to catch your eyes and when you do look up, he’s back to purposely biting his lips as he gapes at you with his dark brown eyes.

He’s grinning while still biting his lips as he shoots more of his cum into your hands, it’s spilling all over but most of it landed on your black sheer top, especially on the sleeves.

“Jimin what the fuck! you came so much..” your enamoured eyes are focusing on his slit that’s still releasing loads of his sticky cum around your fingers.

“yeah, been holding them back” for you, he wants to add but he just chuckles, breathlessly and all giddy while eyeing you. It could be high from his mind-blowing orgasm but it’s more with how he basically just covered you with his cum.

You look cute when you’re annoyed, grumbling because of the stains on your sheer puffy top. Some of them are on your black leather pants too, and this just adds to his amusement as he watches you walking around frantically, looking for something to clean you both up with before his photoshoot finally commences in about a minute or so.

Jimin’s not sorry of course, seeing his cum stains on you is stirring something carnal in him. It's his way of marking you because you're his now, well, kind of. He'll just make sure to properly mark you next time.

e/n: i initially wrote this around the time it came out and during his birthday but wasn’t planning on posting it until later cuz i do have other priority fics but i just have to since i wasn’t able to post him last year 😭

[hyun-xxe]

You're Mine, Silly! (Yandere!Jungkook x F!Reader) PART 1

Summary: You've only met him once at a fan meet. You were excited and happy since he was your bias. Thats how you saw him. However, Jungkook saw things differently.

warnings: none

PART 1

There he was, sitting down right in front of you. A part of you still couldn't believe that he was literally a foot away, smiling at you. The sparkle in his eyes bright and shiny, just like his smile.

You swore everything inside you melted away and no thought was left except for Jungkook.

"Hey there!" he waves, grabbing your hand in his, "What's your name beautiful?" he asks, rubbing your palm with his thumb.

It took everything in you not to pass out right in front of you so you mustered up the courage to speak. "Hi!! My name is Y/N! I'm so excited to finally meet you!" you smile brightly, jumping up and down.

"Excited you say?" he smirks, leaning closer, his cologne spreading up toward you, giving you a whiff of his scent. "What makes me so exciting to you?" he questions.

You pretend to think on it real hard when in reality it was so fucking obvious why. "Hmmmm well, I can't deny that you are my bias. You're such a talented singer, song writer, are funny, and so adorable."

His eyes softened as you rambled about things you like about him. With every word you said and the way you seemed so passionate about how you feel made him feel a certain way.

When you realized you were rambling, you felt your face become hot and you removed your hand from his hold. Embarrassment filled you as you scratched the back of your neck, "I'm sorry," you apologize, "I didn't mean to ramble off your ear." you laugh.

Your laugh was cute, something he would love to hear often.

"No, don't apologize." he says and reached over to, once again, hold your hand in his. "Please, don't feel embarrassed. It was cute."

With his free hand, he reached over and grabbed your album to sign. Jungkook did not want to let go of your soft hand. It felt nice in his, like it belonged there.

When you saw him sign it with a message to your name, you opened your mouth. "Can you also put Elijah?" you ask.

he quirked his eyebrow up, confused at your request but nevertheless wrote down the name, "Is he your brother?" Jungkook asked.

You shake your head, "He's my boyfriend! He was the one who bought my ticket actually!" you smiled, "He really wanted to come today, but there was an emergency at work."

Jungkook felt himself freeze. You have a boyfriend? What?

It didn't make any sense. How could you ramble on about how perfect Jungkook is and how adorable he is, only to now say you're in a relationship?

"Oh really?" he mumbled under his breath, trying to contain his cool. "You didn't mention him before."

"it slipped my mind because I was so excited to meet you guys. You and Jimin are his biases."

He didn't know how to feel. Certainly you were flirting with him, there was no doubt, but now you're saying you're with someone. It just didn't make any sense.

"I wish he could've made it." Jungkook says, knowing damn well he didn't mean it.

The bell rung, signaling that it was time to rotate. He didn't want you to go and hated how he only had five minutes to talk to you.

You picked up your album to move on, hoping he would let go of your other hand, but he didn't. In fact, it was as if he held it tighter. You tried releasing your hand, but it was firmly held in his.

Was this by mistake?

Looking to your right, you saw the others behind grow impatient as they looked your way. A lot of the other fans caught glimpse of Jungkook still holding your hand and looking at you with full eyes.

He wasn't letting go and it made you scared because you didn't want to get yelled at by staff and even get kicked out.

In the corner of your eye, you saw a staff make their way toward you and you tried your best to get your hand out, but to no avail. However, there was a savior that stepped in.

Jin placed his hand on Jungkook's shoulder, gaining the youngest's attention. "Uhm, are you okay, Jungkook?" he asked, looking between you both. "The bell rang almost a minute ago, let go of the poor ladies hand."

It took everything in Jungkook to not yell at his hyung, but he obeyed his orders.

"I'm sorry Y/N!" he said, eyes pleading with you, "I got lost in thought and didn't mean for this to happen!"

He was loud and everyone was looking, it made you feel hot with embarrassment, but seeing how he is right now made you feel bad for some reason. As if it was your fault.

"it's ok!" you say, moving in front of Jin, "No need to apologize."

After that, everything felt quick for you. Seeing other members made you happy and it was something you would never forget, especially with Jungkook. He didn't mean to hold your hand that long, so you didn't really think much of it. Besides, you mentioned your boyfriend and your love for Elijah will triumph over Jungkook any day.

However, it was the next day that made things go downhill. You woke up to your phone going off every second. it scared you, made you think a relative died and that your siblings or parents were trying to get ahold of you.

But when you opened your sister's messages, your eyes popped out.

sister: Go check Twitter right now!!

sister: Y/N, WAKE UP!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT!!

sister: if u dont wake up rn ill fucking drive over to your apartment and nuke your door down

You message her quickly, telling her that you're checking right now. Opening the app, it was the first thing that popped up.

WHO IS THE GIRL THAT CAPTURED JK'S HEART?

Was the first headline you saw. You prayed hard and deep that it was something totally different and did not involve you at all.

You clicked on the tweet and your heart dropped. It was clearly a picture of you at the fan meet. it was the moment when Jungkook held onto your hand tightly and didn't let go. Even now you can clearly see the soft look in his face as he stared at you.

How stupid were you for not realizing that fans could take things the wrong way and make it to what it really isn't!

You read the tweet and it made your blood boil.

I was at BTS' fan meet last night and what I saw made me gasp! When the bell rung for the fans to move onto the next member, there was a moment that made everyone shocked. Jungkook wouldn't let go of this girls hand! I don't know her name or who she is, but when I zoomed in, you can see the look in his eyes that he had for her! It was adorable and sweet! The way he held her hand made me swoon!

#BTS #whoIsTheGirl #Jungkook

You scrolled through other tweets, some of them confused, others shocked, a few of them were hate, but a lot of them were excited. It pissed you off. This wasn't Wattpad, this only should happen in cringe stories. You were dating the love of your life and this could seriously ruin things.

Going to Elijah's contact, you tried calling him twice, but he didn't pick up. You texted him asking if he was ok, but he just read your message.

Everything was going downhill so you grabbed your stuff and headed over to your boyfriends apartment.

Upon arriving, you knocked several times for him to answer because there was no way in hell you were leaving without explaining things. When he opened the door, you invited yourself in without asking.

"What are you doing?" he asks, closing and locking the door behind him, "whats wrong?"

You tilted your head, confused by his actions. Is he this mad that he looks so calm?

"I'm here to talk about whats happening on twitter and want to give you my side." you say.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Something on twitter? Care to elaborate?"

"Why are you acting confused? Aren't you angry? I tried texting and calling but you ignored them."

He laughed and walked up to you, giving your forehead and kiss, "I am sorry, honey. I was on the phone with my sister and was trying to calm her down from her first heartbreak. When I saw your text, my phone died."

Elijah then walked to the counter and showed his phone with the screen showing the black background and white apple icon, signifying that it was just turning on from it being dead.

You felt the worry ease just a little as you finally calmed down. "oh thank god." you whisper, placing your hand over your chest. "You scared me so much."

he chuckles and stands in front of you, "Whats happening though? Tell me."

So you told him everything, about how Jungkook kept holding your hand, fans took pictures, thought of something else, and now you're trending on Twitter. You showed him the tweets, pictures, and tags.

His eyes scanned each and every one of them, and after he smiled and chuckled. "Oh Y/N." he gives you a tight hug, "Did you think I was angry about this? That I believed it?"

You nodded your head in his chest.

"You're such a dork." he ruffles your hair, "I would've called your if anything, and besides this is not something you would do. You're loyal, and kind, and I trust you. It was a mistake and the fans fault for taking things the wrong way."

You felt like there was a heavy weight that was lifted from your shoulder. He understood and listened carefully to your words and it made you realize how lucky you are to have him as your boyfriend.

He tried his best to cheer you up, making you food and putting on your favorite show.

When you got the notification that Jungkook was live on Weverse, you and your boyfriend stopped what you were doing to watch it, hoping he would clear up any rumor.

"Hello," he says, waving at the camera. He waited for more people to come on and just kept staring at the lense. When enough people joined, he started talking more.

"'did you see what is trending on twitter?' Yeah, I have actually. She looks pretty in that picture." he says, smiling to himself.

You tilted your head, confused by his words. Shouldn't he shoot down the rumor now instead of fueling it by saying how pretty you are?

"You guys should know that she is just has pretty as her name. Everything about her is flawless." he laughs to himself and reads another comment "'are you guys dating?' I guess this is where I have to be honest and upfront with you guys."

You felt relieved that he was finally going to dispell the rumors between you both and you can finally be at peace from all of this.

"Yes, we are dating. We wanted to keep it on the down low and she wanted to surprise me at the event, but I guess my love for her got the best of me."

Your blood ran cold and your eyes widened. Did you hear him correctly? Was he being serious? You were hoping he said something else and you just needed to check your hearing?

You turned to your boyfriend and see that hes also wide eye, frozen in his place, and even shaking just a little.

"Please, army, im asking you guys to refrain from getting into her privacy. She is human after all, my love and my girl. It would mean the world to me if you showed kindness and love to our relationship."

Why is he doing this? You didn't understand why he was saying these things and what made him attached to you. "What the actual fuck!" you screamed out, throwing your phone.

"How long have we been dating?" he reads aloud, "Since five months already." Jungkook smiles, "I cant believe time has flown by so fast!" he chuckles. "Do the members like her? Of course they do! They're so protective over her, but not too much. After all, shes my girl."

You were sick to your stomach hearing him speak more. The realization dawned on you from last night and why he kept on holding your hand tight, even when you had to move on. Him being your bias sickened you as you realized who this man truly is.

To his fans, he was the kindest and sweetest person ever, his eyes fooled everyone, even you. But now this?

Seeing your boyfriend on the couch, not saying a word broke your heart.

"Please, tell me you don't believe him babe," your eyes started to get watered, "I never met him before last night."

He finally looked at you, swallowing his spit and shaking his head, "Babe, its ok, I believe you." he answeres, "But t-that man," he points at your phone, "Hes fucking crazy. Sick in the head for thinking that. What the hell!?"

You walked up to your boyfriend, giving him a tight hug. "Don't worry babe, I'm going to fix this. I promise."

You left later that night and when you got home, you emptied your purse and thats when you noticed the album you brought with you to the fan meet.

Opening it up, your eyes almost bulged out of your head when seeing his sick note you left you.

You're the most prettiest girl I've ever met with the prettiest name. Please, I want to see you soon. Take care!

Below that had a phone number on it with the words next to it being "Contact me anytime."

You were stupid and dumb, but this needed to be fixed once and for all. Picking up your phone and putting in that number, you waited for the caller to pick up.

It went to voicemail.

You knew this was stupid and it wouldn't work, so you placed down your phone and screamed into your pillow. He's messing up the relationship between you and your man for no reason.

How could a lovely time turn into your worse? Were you actually curs-

*RING!*

Suddenly, your phone lights up with the number you put in and you almost chocked on your spit.

Slowly reaching out, you picked it up and answered, waiting for the person to speak.

"Who is th-this?" you ask, swallowing a nervous spit.

"You called me, shouldn't I be the one asking?"

The voice sounded familiar, but you didn't want to assume that it was him, however you were built on frustration and you let it all out.

"I know this is you, Jungkook. I found the number you left in my album. You are a sick bastard for what you're doing!" You yelled, "What the fuck gave you the idea that we are dating? Why the fuck are you saying this when I've never met you in my entire life.

"Do you not understand that you're ruining my relationship that I have with my boyfriend!?" You yelled into the phone, a tear slipping down.

The line stayed quiet and it pissed you off even more. Even if it wasn't Jungkook on the line, it had to be someone close to him since he wrote this number down by heart.

"Oh, its nice hearing from you finally!" his voice rung out, almost too happy, "How have you been, love?"

You felt the anger rushing in all over again as you laughed, "Are you fucking kidding me!? Did you not hear what I said??"

"I did, yes. But why should that concern me?" he asks, seemingly not caring about the situation he created.

"Did you not care to consider the fact that you're ruining my life? People around me are calling me a whore, they think I left my boyfriend because I met you! Do you not get it?!"

He chuckles a bit, "Don't listen to them, their words should mean nothing. Besides, what do you want me to do about it?"

You froze in place as you were left dumb founded. Is this man serious? "Are you fucking kidding me!? I want you to fix this! We aren't dating and I have a boyfriend, Elijah is his name. Not Jungkook."

Jungkook was quiet for a few seconds before speaking up, "You know, I don't think your boyfriend would be happy with how you were fliritng with me at the event."

You laughed at his stupidity, almost close to hanging up and calling the cops even. "Flirting with you? How was I flirting with you!?"

"The things you said about me being adorbale, funny and all of that. Don't play stupid, its not cute. What would your boyfriend do when he hears the things you said about me?"

"You cannot be serious." you say, angry and confused, "That wasn't fliritng, Jungkook! I was genuonely complimenting you since you were my bias! You need to get out of delusional land!"

"Love, you expect me to go back online and tell the world that what I said isn't true?" he asked.

"Well, fucking obviously!" you screamed.

"Yeah, I can't do that. Besides, what would the fans think of me when I tell them that all that I said was a lie?" he says.

"Well everything was a lie! You created this mess!"

He sighs, "Y/N," you forgot he knew your name, "I'm not taking back my words. I genuinely like you and want something."

You pulled your hair in disbelief, "Jungkook, did you not hear me say that I have a boyfriend 50 times!? There is no us and will never be an us."

He was quiet and all you could hear was tapping. "If you're not going to say anything, I will."

"Love, do you know the power I have?" He asks, "I am a rich man, me and my members bring in 5 BILLION dollars every year. That being said, I have the power to do anything and that anything involves you. Army listens to what I say and eat it up, if I go online with tears in my eyes talking about how hear broken I am.... you can kiss your life and privacy goodbye."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "J-Jungkook, are you threatening me?" you asked, so shocked that you swear your heart stopped pounding.

"No, I would never. I'm just letting you know the consequences of what might happen." he says in a soft, degrading tone, "Listen, why don't we meet up and talk about this? Yeah? I'll send you an address first thing tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"No! I'm not going to meet you, are you crazy!?" you yell, gripping your phone tighter in your hands.

"I wonder how army will feel when they hear you say how 'fucking stupid' I am, and how delusional I am for simply being in love." he sighs, "I would hate for your reputation to plummet."

The feeling of your heart sinking is the worse feeling in the entire world. You were helpless and you didn't know what to do, this was completely out of your hands, he was in charge.

"W-why are you doing this to me?" you whisper, tears falling down, "what did I do?"

"Don't cry, my love." he whispers in a soothing tone, "Seeing you for the first time has made me helpless. I knew I needed you in my life. You are the most beautiful human I've ever laid eyes on. Lets talk more about this tomorrow, ok love?"

You didn't feel like talking more, so you stuttered out a yes before hanging up. This man is insane and you knew that if you made the smallest mistake, he has the power to ruin you and your family. What did you do to deserve this?

*PART 2 COMING UP SOON!*

[andy-wm]

What we know now, after they have started MS

This is a short post, because life is a lot right now and i have very little emotional energy. But this felt important, so here I am.

Tonight I revisited an older post and realised I'd never completed the thought process i began there...

When Jimin released his solo album, FACE, I wrote this analysis post.

Part of that analysis talked about my impression of JK's backing vocals on Letter.

We had seen Jimin's Production Diary, and based on the clip of JK in the recording studio I thought he didn't know he would be asked to sing backing vocals.

Here's a screen grab of that post:

After watching the docuseries, BTS Monuments: Beyond The Star, we know that was correct...

It was a surprise to him when Jimin asked him.

In fact both aspects of that prediction were right, he didn't know about the song at all.

I have two questions:

Why would Jimin have kept the song a secret from JK?

And

Why wouldn't Jimin himself ask Jungkook to sing it? Why get PDogg to ask him? Jimin was RIGHT THERE.

Actually, make that three questions.

Why did Jimin scurry away as soon as JK asked to listen to the song?

Jimin earnestly said, "I made a fan song", while holding Jungkook's face in his hands.

That's such an intimate gesture, by the way. If my Best Friend held my face that way while they told me they'd done something, I'd take it to mean that the something was significant for/about me.

Jungkook asked to listen to the song, and Jimin... vanished. He retreated to the sofa to sit out of Jungkook's line of sight.

He's suddenly shy? Shy of Jungkook's reaction?? Wierd, but ok...

Unless the song is REALLY significant to JK....

In short, yes, it is REALLY significant. We already kinda guessed that right? But now, in light of their situation, it's more significant...

So, Jungkook recorded his part of the song.

Lets think about the lyrics...

Bear in mind this was written and recorded long before they had confirmation that their application for companion enlistment was successful...

These lyrics are even more significant in that context.

Plus

This is the part of the song that's in banmal. The switch from polite to familiar signals a change in the relationship, (I wrote about that in a previous post) and since Jimin always talks to ARMY politely, we can asume this part of the the song (at least) is directed at... someone else 👀

"We dont know what the future holds, don't worry I'll stay by your side."

Now consider that Jimin has written these words for not only himself to sing. He's asking Jungkook to sing them with him.

He's asking Jungkook to sing this love song with him.

With no hesitation, Jungkook says yes. He does the recording there and then.

And when JK is finished recording...

He tells Jimin that the song is really nice. Immediately, Jimin is a limpet. He's all over Junkgook like he's made of Velcro. A stark contrast to his earier behaviour when his vulnerability made him scurry away.

Jimin jokes that Junkgook should record a message for ARMY and Pdogg calls him out on that lie. Of course JK refuses. "It's your song." he tells Jimin.

Jimin is pushing his luck here, first asking JK to record a message, and then asking him to claim ownership (or share responsibility) for the song.

Jk has no trouble saying no to that.

It seems like more than a meaningless joke to me. One of those suggestions alone might be, but both? It left me wondering if Jimin suddenly felt scared that he was revealing too much with the song?

I'm kinda impressed that JK, for all his love and support, wasn't prepared to rescue Jimin from his choices. He simply, but gently, said no. It tells me a lot about their relationship.

It also tells me a lot about both JK's honestly and his belief in Jimin.

eta, I was tired and once my thought bubble popped i just hit 'post' and fell asleep. But it's exactly a year since Jimin released FACE and i think it's a pretty cool coincidence that i came back to this randomly on this day.

Happy FACE day, ARMYs. 💛💜

[jikookuntold]

What Is Like Crazy About?

Since the day "Like Crazy" was released, I wanted to post about it, but couldn't get the time to focus and do a comprehensive analysis. Finally, right before the first anniversary of this masterpiece, I got the time, and the post is ready now. Before starting off, I have to remind you of the fact that a work of art can be interpreted in many different ways, and none of those interpretations are necessarily right or wrong. Every work of art contains a message that is the artist’s main intention from that creation, but the artist doesn’t have to explain it to the audience because a true work of art speaks for itself, even though not all audiences can receive it thoroughly.

I know that in the past year, so many different types of analyses and theories were made by fans to explain this song, and most definitely, I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Therefore, I’m not claiming my analysis to be a breakthrough, and you might have read most parts of it somewhere else. In this post, we are going to discuss “Like Crazy” from a lyrical and conceptual point of view, trying to find out what message or messages Jimin wanted to convey by creating it.

About “Like Crazy”

“Like Crazy” as the title track for Jimin's first solo album, "FACE", stole the hearts of millions of fans and locals around the world, and inarguably became one of the most successful pop songs of the year 2023. I can talk for hours about how beautiful and successful “Like Crazy” is, and how it broke KPop boundaries and countless records. But, in this post, we are going to break to the surface and talk about the meanings and motivations behind this song and answer the questions like “How this song was made?” “What was Jimin's intention in writing these romantic lyrics?”

As I mentioned earlier, artists usually don’t directly address their main message and their intention in creating a form of art, but many of them speak about the motivations and inspirations that led them to the creation. Jimin hasn’t talked much about the sources of inspiration behind individual tracks of “FACE”, but I guess “Like Crazy” was an exception for him because he revealed on several occasions that he was inspired by “Like Crazy”, the movie. And this piece of information is the key to our analysis:

"I tried to express the feelings of that movie. You know, the somewhat complex, somewhat lonely, somewhat happy emotions. I tried to express all these ambiguous and subtle emotions in a slightly sexy way, but I’m not sure how it’ll end up being received by people.”

Like Crazy, The Movie

First of all, we need to keep in mind that “Like Crazy” is a completely original song, and Jimin has not used or sampled any songs, lines, or dialogues from the movie in his lyrical or visual concepts (even the intro and outro dialogues in the song were original and not from the movie). If Jimin had not stated his source of inspiration directly, the only hint that could have led us to it would be the title of the song, which duplicates the title of the movie since the title never appears in the lyrics.

So, Jimin chose this specific name for his song and announced his source of inspiration to make it clear that there is a straight and strong connection between the song and the movie. He made it clear that this connection is 100% conceptual and emotional, and if we want to know what “Like Crazy” is about, and what ambiguous and subtle feelings Jimin is talking about, we have to redirect the analysis to the concept of the movie, “Like Crazy”.

As we all know, “Like Crazy” is a romantic movie, and Drake Doremus directed it casting "Felicity Jones" and the late "Anton Yelchin" as the main characters, Anna and Jacob. Doremus based the storyline of this low-budget movie on his experience being in a long-distance relationship with his partner and developed it into a 90-minute-long movie, which was released in 2011 and became relatively successful.

Anna and Jacob

A few days before the release of “FACE”, I was informed that the title track, “Like Crazy” is based on a movie of the same name. After learning this fact, I had to re-watch it because I couldn’t remember anything after a decade, and I had some questions like: “What was in this movie that made it so special for Jimin?” “How would Jimin feel watching this?”. Having this mindset helped me to see the movie differently, but before explaining those new insights we need a short storyline of the movie:

Anna is a British exchange student in LA, where she falls in love with Jacob, an American student, and they start dating. Anna, blinded by her love for Jacob, overstays her student visa and consequently gets banned from re-entering the United States. After experiencing a forced LDR, Jacob flies to London to visit Anna, and her father suggests that getting married might resolve the issue, but they are not ready for this big step. Jacob goes back to LA and basically chooses his job over Anna, but after some time, they realize that they can’t be apart, and they decide to get married. Six months after the marriage, when the time for the appeal of Anna’s ban comes, it gets rejected, and they lose their last hope of being together. Again, they go back to their sad lives, but after some time, Anna is finally offered a visa, and she leaves everything behind to reunite with Jacob. The ending scene shows how this separation has damaged their relationship, and things will never be the same.

The movie portrays the hardships of a long-distance relationship and the damage the separation can do to two souls and their connection. I think the recent movie by "Celine Song" named "Past Lives" was partially similar to like crazy, but also there was a big difference; unlike Nora and Haesung in “Past Lives”, Anna and Jacob don’t leave it to fate, they don’t forget about each other and don’t settle down with others just because their love seemed difficult or impossible.

They found true happiness only next to each other and did everything against all odds (especially Anna) to take that back. Maybe if Anna and Jacob weren’t in love like crazy and were more mature and realistic, they would end up like Nora and Haesung (Sorry if this spoiled that movie for you), but they didn’t and made their own bittersweet ending.

Many people claim that “Like Crazy” is a breakup movie with a sad ending, therefore, Jimin’s song also must be a breakup song. But, first of all, the ending can somehow be considered an open ending. We don’t know what happens after the shower scene, but we see them together, in each other’s arms, and this is not a totally sad ending by any movie standards. Other than that, Anna and Jacob became separated a few times, but they don't officially break up by choice, their separation is the result of contractual rules and laws, made by society.

This movie, as its director explained, might be originally about a long-distance relationship, but also the main relationship in this movie can be seen as a relationship that gets strained by laws and regulations, it’s about the rules and imaginary borders that decide if two people can be together or ban them from it. It’s a story of the “love against law”.

A Heterosexual Love Story?

When “Like Crazy” was released in theatres back in 2011, it got positive reviews for good acting that made the movie feel sweet and intimate with mostly improvised dialogues. Meanwhile, the negative reviews were focused on the plotline of this drama, calling it far from reality. Other than the fact that Jacob could have easily resolved this issue by taking his job from LA to London, in reality, the couple wouldn’t have faced this much difficulty over the legal complications, especially after getting married.

The fact is, straight couples usually never face this kind of hardship, and governments take that easy on them otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many sham marriages around the world just to get citizenship. So, the idea of a couple getting separated by law is not common, and that’s why many people called this movie implausible. But, a queer person can familiarly receive this implausibility, like when they want to be with someone forever, but the laws don’t let them.

Could it be this feeling that made “Like Crazy” special and a source of inspiration for Jimin? Or was it something smaller like the Santa Monica beach scene? I have no answer, I only make theories, and I think it’s better to leave the movie here and start the lyrical interpretation to see how these words and feelings can get connected.

The Lyrics

[Intro]

(I think we could last forever (I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

As I said earlier, this intro is not a dialogue from the movie, but the narrators were told to do it based on the audio from the movie that was sent to them. So, hypothetically, it’s Anna and Jacob having this conversation. He is afraid of losing everything, but Anna assures him that if he trusts her, they can last forever. In the MV, we see Jimin standing in the crowd, but the time goes in reverse, and through a transition into his eyes, we see him sitting alone. Weirdly, the outro of the song is playing in the background here, but we will figure out the reason later.

[Verse 1]

Korean Version, Translated

She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, it's fine if you leave Stay with me, just for today

English Version

She's saying, Baby, come and follow me There's not a bad thing here tonight Save your reasons all for later Stay with me a little while

Anna asks him to follow her and assures him that everything is fine, it’s fine if this is not going to last long. It’s not the time for reason and overthinking. The gendered pronoun here refers to Anna, but we will know more about her in the next verses. It is worth mentioning that in the primary handwritten lyrics by Jimin, there was no “She” and it was modified later considering the dialogues added to the intro. Anyway, we know Jimin didn’t release these drafts in his album for no reason.

In this part of the MV, we see Jimin sitting alone in a room, and with a flicker of lights, the room is filled with mud. Suddenly, a muddy hand of a girl grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him to a party. There are several symbols in this part, the lonely room is Jimin’s reality, and the party is his dream. The mud symbolizes dreams and desires that leave their trace on your life and soul.

[Verse 2]

Korean Version, Translated

Watch me go Drenching myself all night (Away) So that even the morning Gets drunk and doesn't arrive

English Version

Watch me go Now, I sink down, all alone away Where am I? A dark haze clouding up my eyes

From here, we don’t see the girl because Jimin and the girl became one. She was her reflection from the beginning, the side that leads him out of his loneliness, and allures him to his dreams and desires, tempts him to be careless and stop thinking too much. Some say she is Jimin’s Anima, but these lyrics never go to the deep levels of the subconscious to reach the Anima. She is his feminine side that is a tangible side of him, and Jimin’s asymmetric makeup gives it away. Also, the mirrored moves between Jimin and the female dancer in “Like Crazy’s” choreography made it clear that the feminine presence in this song is Jimin’s reflection.

[Pre-Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

As the loud music I get faded out A cliché story like a drama I get used to it Have I come too far to find the me that you used to know Yeah, I know You know I know (Ooh)

English Version

I can hear the voices listening Don't know who they are Trying to take the pressure off Been reaching for the stars Tell me, will I find myself again? When I go too far? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

Jimin enters the party and starts drinking, dancing, and having fun with the others. He laughs and enjoys himself in the crowd and trusts the supposed strangers, but the confusion doesn’t leave him alone. He feels lost, and as the lyrics say, he is worried about going too far and not finding himself again. The two opposite sides of him are conflicting. It’s the contradiction between "fear and desire", between "pain and numbness", between "loneliness and losing yourself", and between "reason and dream" that leaves him confused.

[Chorus and Post Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Hold onto the end of the night Every night You spin me up high The moon with you in its arms Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

English Version

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Can you help me numb the pain? Each night, you spin me up high Emotions on ice Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

In this part, he confesses which side he really wants to follow. He wants to go out of his mind, lose himself to the desire, and leave the reason behind. It’s the escapism that saves him from loneliness and the pain of real life. The chorus is the sexy and at the same time, the most poetic part of this song, especially where he is spinning up high in the arms of the moon.

The last line of the post-chorus, “Forever you and I” which also repeats in the last part of the interlude, is crucial because it declares that Jimin is not talking about vagrancy or promiscuity. He wants it all with his significant other, the only one who can help him numb the pain of real life and escape it. But this escapism has its consequences, and we see all that mud flush out of every corner symbolizing it. This scene artistically ends with Jimin facing his reflection in the crowd. The question is, is this reflection the same significant other, or is it Jimin himself? We will get the answer in the next part.

[Verse 3]

Korean Version, Translated

The me, reflected in the mirror Is going crazy endlessly I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

English Version

All my reflections, I Can't even recognize I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

His fear of losing himself was true, and it's happening now. This duality confuses him and makes him question his reality. Which side is the true Jimin? He doesn't care anymore because this escapism makes him feel alive.

Here in the MV, we see Jimin facing the reflection, and it immediately cuts to the restroom scene where he faces his literal reflection in the mirror and talks to him about not recognizing him anymore. Then, the restroom being dismantled symbolizes his state of mind. "The reflection of myself in an unfamiliar appearance" was the concept of "his "FACE" which was a whole album about Jimin himself.

[Outro]

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don't you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on) (Alone again What's the point?)

Jimin knows the consequences of losing himself but embraces it. He knows it's gonna break him but doesn't want to wake up from his dream. He knows everything will collapse but doesn't need a savior. He wants to stay in that dream, but he knows it's impossible, and sooner or later, he will be dragged out of it.

Is there a way to cut all the connections to the real world of loneliness and stay in this dream forever? We get the answer in the MV, and it's not positive because suddenly, everything goes backward in speed, to where we started (remember the outro being played in the beginning? That was the clue).

He goes back to his lonely room with a muddy hand. Did his hand get dirty from a touch of his reflection, or was the muddy hand in the beginning his own hand? Is he trapped in a loop? Maybe. Maybe this wasn't his first or the last time coming back from that dreamland, and it was the reason for so much mud accumulated in his room. He is a regular in that dreamland and he can't quit.

Conclusion

It's understandable if this analysis of the movie, lyrics, and the MV didn't guide you in any direction, and maybe you are even more confused after reading it all. But don't blame yourself because Jimin already told us that, his emotions for this movie are complex. So, don't look for just one answer, maybe we are not supposed to end up with one conclusion, and this song also can have multiple interpretations and meanings. But what are these meanings?

If you pay attention to the lyrics and the MV you will realize that despite them being aligned and in sync, the lyrics have more connection to the movie. While filming the MV, Jimin mentioned that things (scenes of the MV) didn't happen like this in real life, which was an obvious fact, because this song is clearly not about being the life of the party and stuff like that, and has more internal meanings.

In "Like Crazy", Jimin talks about the loneliness of his real life, the isolation and limitations he experienced during the pandemic, and maybe other times. But Jimin finds an alternate reality, where he can be himself, be free and careless, and forget about the future. This alternate reality is rooted in two possibilities: The feminine side, and the significant other. The feminine side is what we face in the MV, and there are not many signs of it in the lyrics.

The feminine side appears as a muddy hand and a presence at the part that faces Jimin and becomes one with him as his reflection. The idea of "bigender" is nothing new in the concepts that Jimin has offered on different occasions, from his fake tattoos in ARMY-Zip 2019 to the performance of "Filter" in 2020 and his photopholio in 2022, he has expressed this fluidity in his work, and I think the visual concept of "Like Crazy" with his different makeup in the MV and the choreography was the epitome of it.

What about the significant other? As I mentioned in the analysis of chorus parts, "Forever You and I" Can only be interpreted as his exclusiveness to someone who is his significant other. This person is the one who saves Jimin from his loneliness and assures him about their happy ending. This person has no doubt in them lasting forever and only wants Jimin to trust him to take the lead and let that happen.

He keeps saying to his significant other that there is no future. They can't be together forever, this is just a temporary situation, and despite finding comfort in each other, they should not get attached because they will forced to be separated. It's not like Jimin doesn't believe in this love, he does and has the same wishes and dreams, but he keeps getting dragged to the real world where the rules govern.

This part is just a personal opinion as a Jikooker, but I did this analysis in my head last year when "Like Crazy" was newly released and had no intention of making a connection between this and Jikook, until "Seven" came out. We all know JK had no hand in making the sexy lyrics of "Seven", but after watching the MV (which had nothing to do with the lyrics), I couldn't unsee the fact that the concept of Seven's MV looked so much like a response to "Like Crazy's" lyrics. Still, we don't know if JK gave any ideas for the concept of the MV, but considering his record of working as an MV director, it's not impossible.

The End.

This is all I could say about "Like Crazy", a masterpiece that is still thriving in the charts and still touches people's hearts because it comes from real and deep emotions that Jimin had in his heart. That emotion got us the moment we listened to it for the first time, even though verbalizing it, is never easy, no matter how many analyses and reviews we write.

[herrscherofinsanity]

Yours Truly

Fluff (angst if you squint)

Yu Jimin x fem!reader

Word count: 10.1k (haha oops)

You had known Yu Jimin even before your career as a singer was officially launched. You two were inseparable; wherever you went, Jimin was sure to follow, but did she actually care about you or were you simply a job to her?

______________________

You sat inside one of the conference rooms FT Entertainment had to offer, bouncing your leg and fighting the urge to bite your nails as anxiety threatened to take over your body.

The higher ups had called you to discuss some details regarding your debut as a soloist. You had been working hard for the past four years, and they had finally given you the green light, but you knew very well that nothing was set in stone, hence your uncontrollable nerves.

As you waited for everyone else involved to arrive, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly was about to be discussed. The single had already been chosen, concept and music video were already brought up, the songs for the album were approved, the schedule was ready, everything was settled; or at least, that's what you thought.

Just then, the doors of the conference room made way for a group of people. You recognized a few of them from previous meetings, perhaps this meeting was simply to go over everything you had planned already one more time.

While you waited for them to settle down, your attention was caught by the person taking the seat right by your side. You turned towards the new occupant of the chair, trying to get a good look at them when you realized you had a vague idea of who it was. Maybe you passed by each other in the busy hallways of the company?

The young woman sitting beside you had a cold exterior, at first glance she was very intimidating. You first noticed the mole right by her lips, then her long black hair which framed her small face perfectly, her calculating eyes looked everywhere but in your direction. What truly caught your attention though, was the fact that under the table, concealed to the rest of the people in the room, she was picking at the skin around her nails.

A nervous habit, you thought to yourself.

You wanted to reach out and tell her to stop for she would end up hurting herself, but you brushed off the idea, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

You sighed, and that was what finally made her look directly at you. As you locked eyes, you gave her a small smile, trying to ease her nerves despite the fact that you were ready to combust any second now.

She didn't return your smile, but she gave you a slight nod in acknowledgement. Before you could muster up the courage to say something to your companion, someone else at the table cleared their throat.

"Good evening, everyone" the man sitting at the head of the table spoke, everyone else echoed the pleasantries before he continued "we're here today to go over the details regarding our new soloist's debut one last time, and also fix anything that might have been left behind. Please, proceed".

Another man present in the meeting went on and on about things you had already memorized. Trying your best to hide your boredom, you snuck a glance towards the girl sitting beside you only to realize she was dutifully taking notes of your schedule.

"y/n?" the man called out.

"Yes sir?"

"As you can see, there's only one thing missing from everything we have discussed so far" he paused, as if waiting for you to say something. When that didn't happen, he kept going "you can't just go gallivanting around without any type of supervision, which is why we've finally chosen the perfect person for the job".

You were confused, to say the least. He made it sound like you needed a babysitter and no one wanted to take the job.

"Are you talking about my manager, sir?" you cautiously asked.

"Correct. Don't worry, she might be on the younger side, but she has plenty of experience and she's already proven her worth" he had a pleased smile on his face, you noticed the girl beside you shifting a bit. "Coincidentally, she's sitting right beside you".

You, once again, turned to give the girl on your right your full attention. This time, she also did the same. You stared at each other for what felt like ages, you weren't sure what to think of your new manager, but you knew one thing. You can't make an enemy out of her unless you want her to make your life miserable. With that in mind, you tried to smile at her once more, you gave her the practiced smile you had been praised for by your media trainers before, but the girl beside you slightly furrowed her eyebrows before returning your smile hesitantly.

"I'm y/n y/l/n, it's very nice to meet you".

"My name is Yu Jimin, I look forward to working with you".

______________________

Yu Jimin had always been considered some sort of prodigy. Ever since she uttered her first words, everyone expected her to get far in life. Despite the pressure, Jimin lived a happy life growing up. She enjoyed school, had great friends, her parents were supportive of her dreams and her older sister was nice enough.

When Jimin told her parents she wanted to be a part of the entertainment industry they supported her decision. They thought their daughter wanted to be up on the stage, but that was far from what she wanted.

Jimin was interested in the entertainment world, sure, but she was more interested in how it worked, in the behind the scenes of it all. Jimin wanted to be a manager, she wanted to help out the artists, she wanted to be a part of the process. She aimed for a business management degree with a minor in marketing in the best university she could find.

During her senior year in college, she had an opportunity to work as a junior manager right there in FT Entertainment. The whole experience left a bittersweet feeling in Jimin's life, her client was far from pleasant and the senior manager was also far from being an ideal mentor. Nevertheless, Jimin wasn't ready to give up yet, she had never given up on anything in her life and she wasn't going to start now. So when FTE offered her a permanent position and a chance to be an official manager she took it without hesitation.

That's what brought her to you.

In truth, Jimin already knew you, or at least, she had an idea of who you were. She had seen you walking down the hallways of FTE, a smile always present on your face despite the grueling training you were going through. Jimin always thought you had a pretty smile, and you seemed to gather attention wherever you went, that was a good sign. Jimin had heard from the higher ups how incredible your skills were, and how it was the right time for your debut. They offered Jimin a chance to be your manager and she accepted the opportunity with much excitement.

Jimin's opinion on you shifted a bit when you threw that obviously manufactured smile her way. It wasn't the same pretty smile she had witnessed so many times in the hallways, it wasn't that genuine smile that gave others hope. Jimin didn't like it, not one bit.

She sighed, you were glued to each other now thanks to the contract, she just hoped you could get along.

______________________

After the introductions were made the meeting didn't last for much longer. You made your way to your newly assigned apartment, your schedule was officially starting tomorrow morning and you needed to get some sleep.

As you made your way through your night routine, you thought back to your interactions with your new manager. They were mostly limited to nods and hums here and there.

"Be ready by 5:30am, I'll come by to pick you up". That was the most the other woman had said to you.

You sighed. It's not that you were expecting to be besties with your manager, you were actually expecting some middle aged man with little to no patience whatsoever, but a spark of excitement spread through your body when you found out your manager was barely two years older than you were.

That spark was quickly put out when it was made clear by her that things between you were simply meant to be professional. So much for team work makes the dream work.

You were just about ready to close your eyes and get some sleep when your phone buzzed on your nightstand. Cursing whoever was texting you this late, you reached for your phone, puzzled as you realized it was an unknown number.

[10:45pm] unknown: Good night, Ms. y/l/n, this is your manager Ms. Yu.

[10:45pm] unknown: I'm just texting you so you can save my number. Don't forget to be ready by 5:30am. That's all, good night.

You sent her a simple reply, you didn't want to engage in further conversation and you were sure she wouldn't want to either. You set your alarm for 3:45am, internally crying when you saw the amount of time you would be able to sleep. Boy, it's going to be a long day.

When you awoke next morning, you seriously didn't feel like getting up, but you were in too deep in this whole thing now. Plus your manager looked like she would literally drag you to your next schedule, you had no choice.

As you stepped out of the comfort of your room to get something for breakfast, you almost had a heart attack when you saw a figure making its way through your living room. You let out the loudest scream you could muster as you made your way to turn the light switch on. The figure was clearly startled by both your shrieks and the light.

"What are you screaming for? It's just me, geez" your manager said, an annoyed look on her face.

"Oh my good god! What on earth are you doing here!?" she's the one breaking into your apartment and she still has the audacity to look mad? "We agreed to leave at 5:30am, what's going on?"

"I came to wake you up..." she replied, you noticed her picking the skin around her fingernails once again. Huh.

"I don't want to be ungrateful or rude, Ms. Yu, but I'm perfectly capable of waking up by myself" you huffed, but you felt some of your annoyance leaving your body when you noticed the girl before you looking embarrassed.

"I'm really sorry about that, I never meant to scare you" she looked down in shame, "my past client would never do anything at the arranged time, and it was my job to wake her up".

Your annoyance completely left your body when you heard that, poor thing really didn't mean any harm. You made a mental note to have better communication with your manager. You made your way to the kitchen without saying anything, she followed you curiously.

"What time did you wake up to get here so early?" you asked as you went through the fridge.

Jimin cleared her throat before responding "I have a feeling you're going to scream again if I tell you, let's just say very early".

You turned towards the girl and gave her a sympathetic look. "I appreciate the effort, Ms. Yu, but please don't sacrifice something as important as sleep for something so insignificant. Did you even eat before coming here?". Your manager shook her head and you sighed.

"Okay, we're gonna have breakfast together, and then you'll have to wait for me to get ready".

"Ms. y/l/n, that's not really-"

"It's not up for discussion, Ms. Yu" you cut her off. "Take a sit, I'll cook something up real quick".

Jimin reluctantly took a seat at the kitchen table as she watched you work. She's not at all what I expected.

"Again, I am very sorry for what happened" Jimin said, trying to break the silence that had enveloped you.

You sighed as you turned to face her "Don't worry about it, I know it's your job to take care of me, but what about you, huh?".

Your answer puzzled Jimin, "what do you mean by that?".

"You're gonna be taking care of me, so I will be taking care of you. It's only fair, don't you think? We're a team after all" you smiled at her, and this time she didn't reject your smile.

There it is, she thought, that beautiful smile.

______________________

The rest of the day was packed with activities, you and Jimin ran around the city barely getting any time to catch a break. When everything was over, it was almost midnight. Your manager dropped you off at your apartment, reminding you how you had to be ready to leave at 5:30am again.

You woke up the next morning and immediately made your way to the kitchen. As you were crossing the living room, you caught Jimin quietly closing the front door.

"Good morning, Ms. Yu" your greeting startled the other girl, she turned with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Good morning, Ms. y/l/n" she sighed "you don't seem surprised to see me".

"I had a feeling you weren't going to listen to me" you motioned for her to follow you to the kitchen "you're the stubborn type, aren't you?"

She blushed, that wasn't the impression she wanted you to have of her. "I'd prefer if you thought of me as... diligent".

"Diligent? Right." you chuckled "Anyway, breakfast for two?".

______________________

Months went by and as your debut was drawing near, your relationship with your manager had taken a turn for the better. She was much friendlier now, you found out she just needed a little time to open up.

Regardless of that, your schedules were still driving you crazy. You still had to get up incredibly early, and got home insanely late. You weren't the only one who was barely keeping it together though. Your manager would still get to your place way earlier than it was necessary and she would go back to her place even later because she insisted on dropping you off herself.

It was clearly taking a toll on her, you often caught her trying to take naps in between some of your schedules that didn't demand much of her attention. You were worried about her, she probably worked harder than you did and she wasn't going to receive as much credit as she deserved when the debut finally happened.

You were currently on a water break, your dance practice was almost over yet they allowed you a few minutes to breathe. You were sitting with your back against the wall, Jimin, as always, wasn't far away. She was sitting at a couch placed in the dance studio, lazily scrolling on her phone.

"Hey, Jimin?" you called out to her, feeling a little giddy. You still found it hard to believe sometimes how you got the rather standoffish girl to be your friend.

"What's up?" she turned to look at you with anticipation.

"So, I've been thinking-"

"Uh oh"

"Shush you, don't be mean" you playfully rolled your eyes as she laughed at her little joke "As I was saying, I've been thinking about our current situation".

"Don't tell me you're just realizing you're going to debut" she teased.

"Be serious for a second" you huffed "It's just, I've been thinking about how tired we both are, especially you".

"It's part of the job" Jimin shrugged.

"Right, I get that" you got up and walked over to where she was sitting "but things could be a little better, at least for you".

She stared at you for a second as you sat down across from her. "How so?".

"Why don't you move in with me?" you said casually. Jimin froze for a second not knowing how to react.

"What?" she said quietly.

"Jimin, think about it for a second. You only sleep for like an hour because you insist on coming over at 3am when you've barely dropped me off less than three hours ago. Also, you and I spend 24/7 together, we've known each other for a while now, it won't be weird".

Jimin sat quietly for a second, she was considering your offer. "Wouldn't I be bothering you?"

"I'm more bothered by the fact that you could collapse any second from exhaustion. Plus, I wouldn't be offering if it was a problem". You could see the gears turning in her head, she picked at the skin around her nails as she silently debated what to do.

"I can see you're not convinced so let's find a way to compromise" you suggested.

"Go on, I'm listening"

"Okay first, stop doing that, you're going to hurt yourself" you said, pointing at her hands. She blushed, but listened to you. "You move in with me, but it will be temporary. We'll live together until we have a decent schedule and you can get enough sleep at your own place".

Jimin considered your words and slowly nodded her head. "Yeah... yeah, okay. That sounds reasonable enough, let's do it" she smiled at you, and in that moment, it looked like all of her exhaustion was washed away.

______________________

("Ms. Yu?"

"Yes Ms. y/l/n?"

"Would you say we're friends?"

A pause.

"I don't see why we wouldn't be".

"Then... would it be okay if I were to call you Jimin?"

"It would be an honor if you did, y/n".)

______________________

The following days went off without a hitch. Jimin had temporarily moved into your apartment, and although your schedules were still insane your manager looked less like a zombie and more like your friend. Living with her wasn’t unpleasant, you both had your own rooms and bathrooms, and neither of you had displayed any annoying habits. Jimin was surprised, she didn’t expect you to be so organized; you were also surprised, you never expected the other girl to be so laid back when she got a chance to relax.

The universe had mercy on the two of you and granted you with three free days, you had planned to sleep through the entirety of your break, but Jimin had something else in mind.

“I hate grocery shopping! It’s boring and it takes too long” you whined, Jimin had never seen you resemble a child so much as in that exact moment.

“But we’re almost out of food” Jimin reasoned. If she had known you were going to complain so much, she would’ve tricked you into going instead of out right asking. I’ll just have to do that next month.

“Can’t we order something?”

“We don’t have that much money either” Jimin sighed. “Why don’t we make a deal?”

That caught your attention, you ceased your whining to hear her out. “Go on, I’m listening”.

“If you come with me and help out with the groceries, I’ll get you any snacks you want” you wanted to act like a child, she would treat you like one.

“Are you trying to bribe me? With snacks?” you arched one of your eyebrows “Jimin, I know damn well you’re older than me, but I’m not six”.

“Then stop acting like you’re six” she huffed. “Okay, let’s try that again. What do you want in exchange for a trip to the grocery store?”

Jimin saw the smirk that was slowly spreading through your face, and she swore she had never felt more nervous in her life.

“Anything I want?” you said, a suggestive look on your face.

“Try to be reasonable” she gulped “please?”.

“I want to spend some quality time with you”.

What?

“Huh?” she wasn’t sure she heard you right. She wasn’t expecting something so simple, she fully expected you to ask her for something ridiculous.

“Let’s have a movie night, we’ll sit back and relax, I think we’ve earned it” you smiled sweetly at her.

Jimin thought about it for a second, you weren’t asking for much and you both really needed those groceries. Plus, spending a little quality time together wouldn’t be so bad, you two would be working together for many years to come, it was the best course of action to try to get along as much as possible.

“Okay, but under one condition” she said, her voice taking a teasing tone, you shot her a look, waiting for her to continue “I get to pick the movie”.

“As long as it’s not horror I’m totally game” you shrugged.

“Fine by me, I don’t like horror anyway”.

“You and I are going to be the best of friends; I just know it!” you smiled brightly at her.

______________________

(“You chose a rom-com?”

“Yeah, is there something wrong?”

“…Are you trying to tell me something, Ms Yu?”

“Be quiet and watch the movie, y/n”

"Bossy... I like that"

"y/n!")

______________________

Time kept moving forward, and soon everything was ready for your debut. The album was completely recorded, the music video had already been edited, and you had perfected the choreography for your first live performance. Everyone at the company was beyond excited to finally launch the project, but no one seemed more excited than your manager. Jimin claimed she was a big fan of the album and she would buy a copy when it was available. You thanked her, but didn’t take it to heart; your roommate was always nice with you, you thought she was simply trying to spare your feelings.

When the long-awaited day came around, FTE hosted a party to celebrate the rise of their new star. The debut had been a success; the general public loved the music video and fresh concept; they praised your vocal skills and loved the choreography. You spent the major part of the gathering talking to the higher ups and trading fake, business smiles rather than enjoying yourself like any young woman would. Jimin, on the other hand, was stuck in a similar situation. She was being praised left and right for her diligence and all the effort she put into this project. They even offered her a bigger opportunity, managing a bigger artist in the company; Jimin didn’t have to think twice before rejecting the offer. She understood that her place was by your side.

As the party died down, you and Jimin made your way to your shared apartment. Your schedules became a bit more decent about a month ago, but Jimin insisted on staying there with you.

It will be way more efficient to keep working like this, she had said when you asked if she wanted to go back to her own place.

Making your way through the apartment, Jimin stopped you before you could step foot in your room.

“Hey, y/n?” she softly called out to you.

“Yes, Jimin?” she walked over to you and wrapped you in a long hug. It was something rather new, you had just recently become “touchier” with each other if you could even call it that. Brief hugs, hand holding to express support, leaning your head against her shoulder when you were having your ‘absolutely mandatory’ movie night, needless to say, you both had developed a bond along the way.

“I’m extremely proud of you” she whispered.

“Thanks, coming from you… it means way more than you realize” you whispered back to her.

She finally let go of you, and with one last smile she made her way into her room.

Jimin laughed to herself when she noticed the object that was waiting for her on her bed. A copy of your album with a note on top of it.

“To my biggest fan, thank you for your unconditional support. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

-Yours truly, y/n”

Jimin smiled to herself, every day she thanked her lucky stars for giving her this opportunity, she really couldn’t have asked for a better client. When she first met you, she had thought you were a diva in the making, a fake, but you proved her wrong every single day and she had learned to love every moment she got to spend by your side. So, when the time came for her to go back to her “home”, as you had called it, she had thrown an excuse regarding efficiency and didn’t look back. However, Jimin was too shy to admit that wasn’t the real reason for her now permanent stay at your place.

It’s doesn’t feel like home without you.

_____________________

(“Okay, I need your honest opinion”.

“Uh huh”

“What do you think of this outfit?”

“It’s very nice, I think it suits the concept”.

“…My eyes are up here, Jimin”.

“I was checking out the pattern!”

“Pinocchio was a better liar than you”)

______________________

Years went by, you’ve become one of the biggest artists in the industry, and Jimin was been there with you every step of the way. From the existential crisis and the hate comments to winning awards and breaking records, Jimin has never left your side. You could say, without a doubt that she’s your best friend.

Aside from her, you’ve managed to make some pretty good friends in the industry, one of your closest friends being a member from a famous band, Miyeon. The two of you had met at a variety show and immediately hit it off, you shared a lot of the same interests which made your connection almost instant. Miyeon understood you in a way that even Jimin couldn’t, you were very grateful to have a friend that was as famous as you were.

Jimin, on the other hand, didn’t like Miyeon.

Jimin felt threatened by Miyeon. For the longest time, it had been just you and her, but then Miyeon came along. Jimin was happy that you found a friend, but she didn’t like how that friend was the only thing you wanted to talk about, she didn’t like the way your eyes seemed to sparkle anytime the other girl was around. Jimin hated it. Although, she didn’t fully understand just why she felt like that.

It was one of your off days, Jimin was lazing around in the living room, wondering what to do with her free time when you walked out of your room looking ready to step out of your shared home.

(How come you and I don’t have nicknames for each other?)

“Hey babe, where are you going?” she asked.

(Is it necessary? Scratch that, is it important?)

“I’m going shopping!” you said, walking over to where she was sitting. “Do you want me to bring something back for you?”.

(Of course it is! How else are we supposed to showcase our amazing bond?)

“Mm nah, I think I’m good, thanks though” she paused, considering something “are you going by yourself?”.

(Okay then, I’ll try to come up with something. What are you going to call me?)

“You know I don’t like shopping by myself, it gets boring” you said dramatically, making your friend laugh “Miyeon is coming with me, she’s actually picking me up”. You finished with a smile, Jimin’s laughter quickly died down, her smile replaced with a scowl.

Jimin took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she said something she shouldn’t. “Have fun, be careful, don’t get into a scandal, you know the drill”. she shrugged her shoulders sighing defeatedly.

“Looks like someone’s in a bad mood” before you could question her sudden change in attitude, your phone buzzed in your hand “saved by the bell” you gave her a look, she simply rolled her eyes.

Would it be too much if I chained her to the kitchen table? Jimin thought to herself.

(I’ve actually been thinking about it. What do you think of Yuji? You know, as in Yu Ji-min. I think it’s cute.)

“She’s here, I gotta go” you gave Jimin a long look before continuing “how about you and I watch a movie when I get back?”.

“Tonight isn’t movie night though” she said in her ‘I know better’ voice.

“Stop being difficult, let’s hang out, please” you shot her your wounded puppy look and she immediately felt her resolve crumble. “We can do something else if you want, I just want to spend some time with you”.

If you actually wanted to spend time with me, you wouldn’t be leaving with her right now. “Okay fine, let’s hang out when you get back” she admitted defeat.

“You’re the best!” you quickly gave her a kiss on the cheek and rushed to the front door “See you later, Yuji!” and with that final exclamation you left.

(Yuji… no one’s ever called me that before. I like it.)

Jimin sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time. She couldn’t possibly stay on the couch simply waiting for you to get back, she wasn’t a pet. She opted for calling her own friends, maybe they wanted to hang out with her, she thought rather bitterly.

You had been out for around four hours now, you and Miyeon had gone through every store and felt the exhaustion starting to hit, hence why you decided to stop by the food court to get something to snack on.

Laughter filled the table you two shared as you traded stories from your respective schedules. Miyeon had been casted for a drama and she kept complaining about how her co-star was ‘a literal man-child’. You, in return, told her about the different people you had met at your recent job as an MC for a music show. However, your laughter was soon interrupted by your phone.

You furrowed your eyebrows when you saw the name that was flashing across the screen.

Manager Yu.

Jimin had two phones; one which she used exclusively for work, and the other she used for her own entertainment. Business and pleasure shouldn’t mix, she had stated when you asked her about it. That rule applied even for you, she used her work phone whenever she had to notify you about an upcoming schedule, and she used her personal phone whenever she wanted to share something completely unrelated to work. The fact that she was calling from her work phone only meant that you were probably needed somewhere.

“Excuse me for a second, Miyeon, I need to take this” you smiled at your friend apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it, take your time” she returned your smile as she got up from the table “I’ll go to the restroom meanwhile”.

You watched her walk away, before sighing and bringing the phone up to your ear. As soon as you picked up, Jimin’s voice could be heard through the speaker.

“Hey baby!” she exclaimed.

“Um… hey, Yuji? Did something come up?” you bit your lip in anticipation.

“Huh? No, today’s our free day, they know better than to bother us” she stated, it only left you even more confused.

“Then why are you using this phone?” you asked incredulously.

“Well, I just really wanted you to pick up, I knew you wouldn’t ignore a work call” she said simply, you could literally hear the smirk on her face.

“I knew you were obsessed with me” you sighed “can’t even go a few hours without my wonderful presence”.

“You’re too full of yourself” she huffed indignantly “I just wanted to ask you if you could bring back pizza for dinner”.

You had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason she was calling. You were aware of the fact that Jimin wasn’t too fond of your friend, but you didn’t know why. She was probably calling to play monitor, nevertheless, you didn’t want to call her out on her odd behavior and make her feel embarrassed so you played along. “Alright, whatever you want”.

“Thank you, baby, you’re the best!” she cheered, you giggled at that. Jimin, at first glance, was incredibly intimidating, but once she managed to grow comfortable with someone the huge dork she hid perfectly to the rest of the world would come out. You often teased her about how adorable she was.

“Anything for my biggest fan” you said softly.

“I remember you said you were ‘truly mine’ the first time you called me that” your manager said in a low voice. Oh.

“I did say that” you felt your heart beating faster. What was she getting at? She has never said something like this, it usually goes the other way around.

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course I did” before you could say something else, Miyeon came back from the bathroom. “Listen, I got to go. We’ll continue this when I get back” you heard Jimin laughing before you hung up.

“Is everything okay?” Miyeon asked, a bit of concern lacing her question “you’re blushing”.

“Yes, everything’s fine, don’t worry about it”.

______________________

[1:27pm] Manager Yu: Meeting tomorrow with Music Bank staff, don’t forget.

[2:53pm] Yuji ❤️: babyyy check out this tik tok

______________________

 “I’m home” you called out as you stepped into your shared apartment. You heard multiple voices coming from the living room; had Jimin really spent this whole-time watching TV on the couch?

You made your way to the living room with Jimin’s favorite pizza in one hand, shopping bags in the other, you were about to complain to your manager about how she had tricked you earlier when you realized the other voices you heard weren’t coming from the TV. You froze when you noticed four girls lounging around your living room. Two of them were sprawled on the couch, but your attention was entirely on the two girls that were occupying the floor.

Jimin sat there, her back resting against the couch as she cuddled with another girl you failed to recognize. You felt your blood boiling, while you were out getting Jimin her favorite pizza she was here with another girl in her arms? You clenched your jaw at the sight, but bit your tongue, knowing full well as a celebrity you couldn’t exactly go off and insult random girls.

“Oh my god! It’s really her!” one of the girls on the couch exclaimed at the sight of you.

“She’s even more beautiful in person” the other occupant of the couch said, a smirk on her face.

You couldn’t really pay attention to the girls, your focus zeroed in on the way Jimin’s arms were wrapped around the third stranger’s waist. Jimin cleared her throat before speaking.

“Hey y/n, how was your day?” y/n? What happened to baby? Jimin rarely used your name, reserving it for times you two were in a professional environment, she hadn’t really called you that in years outside of conference rooms. You furrowed your eyebrows at that, and she immediately sensed your displeasure.

“It was fine, Yuji” you sighed, realizing your anger was out of place. You had no right to be mad at her for being with another girl, you two were simply friends; the thought didn’t help to ease how much it hurt though. “So, am I interrupting?”

“Not at all!” one of the girls on the couch said “you should join us!”

“Please excuse my friend’s excitement, y/n”. Ouch. “These are my best friends. That one’s Yizhuo, she’s a big fan of yours, next to her is Aeri, and this one’s Minjeong” Jimin introduced each of her friends.

“Come on, Jimin, I’m also a big fan” the girl who was introduced as Aeri said with a smirk. “It’s an honor to meet you, gorgeous”. You giggled at her obvious attempt; your reaction fueling her confidence.

“Thank you” you gave them your practiced smile, Jimin furrowed her eyebrows “it’s a pleasure, I love meeting fans, especially the cute ones” you winked at Aeri.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” Yizhuo asked, you swore you saw stars in her eyes.

You moved to place the pizza on the coffee table before answering “Don’t worry about it, enjoy your time together, I’ll be in my room”. Yizhuo pouted and you laughed “Maybe next time, okay?”. You smiled at the girls before making your way to your room, ready to collapse in your bed and be sad in peace, completely missing the way Jimin’s eyes followed your retreating figure.

Dinner time came around, you were debating whether you should step out and cook something up or just skip your meal altogether and sleep when the door to your room opened. Jimin stepped inside cautiously, holding a plate with two slices of pizza resting on it.

“Here, I saved some for you” she offered you a soft smile, and you felt your heart aching even more.

You accepted the meal with a soft thank you, not daring to meet her eyes. Jimin was concerned, she felt your sad state the second she locked eyes with you when you stepped into the apartment. She didn’t know what was causing your sadness, but she would do anything in her power to make you feel better.

“Baby” she softly called out, you huffed at her choice of words “what’s wrong? Did Miyeon do something to you?”.

That immediately made you look at her, surprise written all over your face “What are you talking about? Miyeon wouldn’t do anything”. She took note of the anger swimming in your eyes, there was something else there, but she couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Are you sure? You’ve been upset since you came back, don’t think for a second that I didn’t notice” she stated.

“I don’t want to talk about it” you rolled your eyes. You knew you were being unfair, but you also weren’t ready to go there with Jimin, your anger was still fresh, you knew you were bound to say something hurtful if you kept going.

Jimin felt herself growing more and more frustrated with you; she knew you like the back of her hand, one look into your eyes and she knew what was going through your head, she knew you often got stressed and took it out on the world, but you had never taken it out on her. Jimin couldn’t figure out what was wrong with you.

“Okay, you don’t want to talk? That’s fine” you stared at her suspiciously, she continued “we were supposed to hang out when you came back. Scoot over and make room for me, we’re watching a movie”.

“Weren’t you just watching movies with your friends?” you shot back rather bitterly, Jimin got a vague idea of what was bothering you.

“So? I want to watch a movie with my girl” she said as she climbed your bed, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you close to her.

“Your what?” you managed to squeak out, making her laugh in the process.

“You said so yourself. The first time you did was four years ago on that note you left, and you’ve been calling yourself that every single time you leave a note, no matter what the contents are, you always sign it like that” she held you tighter, her voice growing sultrier with every word she spoke.

“I have never referred to myself as ‘your girl’” you said indignantly.

“No?” she chuckled “You always sign your notes with ‘yours truly’ at the end, and I know very well you don’t do that for anyone else. Doesn’t that mean you’re mine?” she whispered in your ear.

You sighed, trying to calm yourself down. “What game are you playing, Jimin?”.

“Me?” she tried to ignore the way her heart dropped when you referred to her by her name instead of the nickname you always insisted on using “I’m not doing anything. I told you, I want to watch a movie with you”. When you didn’t say anything, Jimin counted this little moment as a victory for herself and chose a movie.

You settled down in Jimin’s arms trying to pay attention to the movie she had chosen; the key word being trying. Your mind kept going back to the girl that had previously occupied your current position. Jimin was a very touchy person, she was very into physical contact and you never complained, you enjoyed the attention. Cuddling wasn’t something new for the two of you, it happened rather often, but you made the mistake of thinking this behavior was something she saved just for you. Turns out she cuddles all of her friends, you thought bitterly.

Jimin could sense your inner turmoil, and it made her feel sad not knowing how to help you. She pressed a kiss to your head as she held you tighter, wishing to protect you from whatever it was that was causing you such distress. What Jimin didn’t know was that her actions made your heart ache even more.

______________________

(“Hi y/n! It’s so amazing to have you here with us today!”

“Thank you, the pleasure’s all mine!”

“Your manager is here with you today, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she is. Why do you ask?”

“We know your fans are also fond of her, they have this ongoing joke that you two are like an old married couple.”

You laughed rather loudly. Jimin, backstage, caught herself staring.

“What do you think of that, y/n?”

“Well, I don’t mind, I honestly think it’s cute.”)

______________________

About a week had gone by since your jealousy had gotten the better of you, and there has been a certain tension between you and Jimin ever since. Jimin had grown bolder with you, she used to make a few flirtatious comments here and there, but they’ve become more frequent. Her touches have also changed, as if she’s feeling more confident around you now. You weren’t sure how to react.

You walked out of your room wanting to get a snack when you ran into Jimin loitering in the living room couch. She smiled when she saw you, but it seemed rather forced. You walked up to her wanting to see what was wrong when she surprised you by pulling you into her lap, she nuzzled your neck as her arms made their way around your waist. You giggled at the sensation.

“That tickles…” you said, she hummed. “You seem upset, what’s wrong?” you asked as you played with her hair.

“I don’t want you to feel bad, don’t worry about it, baby” she mumbled.

You frowned at her words “what do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”.

“Not exactly” she sighed, wondering if she should really tell you, but one look into your concerned eyes was enough to make her crack. “You know how my birthday’s coming up? I wanted to spend it with my parents since it was a free day, I even thought of bringing you along so I could introduce you, but now that’s not going to happen”. She finished with a pout and you felt your heart melting at the sight.

“I’m almost to afraid to ask, but why isn’t it going to happen?” you bit your lip nervously.

“I got a call this morning, you have three interviews lined up that day and who knows if something else is going to pop off” she said, resting her head on your shoulder.

“I’m really sorry about that, Yuji. Maybe I could call the company and ask for someone else to go with me? That way you’ll get to spend your special day with your family”. You suggested but she quickly shook her head.

“Don’t bother, I wanted to bring you with me, it won’t be the same without you there”.

“Why did you want to bring me along?” you asked quietly, if Jimin wasn’t so close she probably wouldn’t have heard you.

“You’re the most important person in my life” she said as if it was nothing “of course I wanted them to meet you”.

You cursed everyone involved in booking those interviews in your head, maybe now would be a good time to retire. You mumbled a soft thank you to Jimin and settled in her arms without saying anything else. She leaned back into a more comfortable position; both of you staying there, simply enjoying each other’s presence.

I don’t know how, but I will make sure Jimin has the best birthday she’s ever had.

______________________

(‘y/n, what’s your most prized possession?’ Mm, that’s a good question, let me think about it.

Instagram live, you sat there reading through the many questions pouring in. Jimin was sitting a few feet away.

“Jimin and I went to this workshop a few months ago where we learned how to make bracelets, we ended up making bracelets for each other. See?”

You showed your bracelet to the camera.

“That’s my most prized possession, the bracelet Jimin worked so hard on because she loves me so much!”

Jimin rolled her eyes but still laughed, a fond look in her eyes.)

______________________

Jimin’s birthday rolled around and you pulled all the stops since the moment you woke up. Jimin had a routine she always had to follow, so you knew it by heart. You made sure to wake up before she did so you could surprise her properly. Honestly you had no idea if Jimin wanted to spend whatever free time remained with her friends, but she didn’t mention anything so for your sake and sanity you assumed she doesn’t have anything planned.

As you cooked breakfast for your manager, you went through the plan once again. You’d wake her up with breakfast in bed, while she showered, you’d leave everything ready so you could surprise her once you came back from today’s schedules. She could call her friends up if she wanted to after she received your gift, you wanted that moment to be only for the two of you.

Once you were done with her breakfast you made your way to her room with the tray in your hands. You tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting her to wake up before you could put everything into place. You carefully placed the tray on her bedside table, took a deep breath and exclaimed:

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Jimin jolted awake feeling completely disoriented, she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes while she attempted to figure out what was going on. The first thing she noticed was the smell of food, she turned to her bedside table and found a tray lying there containing a plate with pancakes, a cup of coffee, and a note that read:

 Breakfast in bed for the birthday girl :)

-Yours truly, y/n

Jimin felt her heart melt at the sight, you clearly had woken up extra early to surprise her. She turned to you and opened her arms, silently asking you for a hug. You laughed but complied with her request.

“Happy birthday to the best manager in the world” you whispered.

“Thank you for doing this, baby. It means the world to me, really” she said fondly while she hugged you tighter. You let the embrace linger for a few seconds before making a move to get up, Jimin whined. “Where are you going? Aren’t we eating together?” she pouted, sometimes you found it hard to believe she was the older one between you two.

“I need to get ready, we have a job, remember?” you laughed at her expression. “Eat up before your food gets cold, there’s no time to waste!” and before she could keep complaining you rushed out her room. You had to make sure everything was perfect for her.

While you maneuvered through interviews and photoshoots, Jimin kept answering calls and texts from different people trying to wish her a happy birthday. At some point during the day, she had admitted it was overwhelming, but you countered that by claiming it was actually endearing how much others cared for her; the next time she answered a call her smile seemed more relaxed.

It was around 5pm when you two made it back home, Jimin quickly hugged you from behind, not wasting any time.

“You’re always so clingy after a photoshoot” you teased.

“I don’t like the way they look at you, sue me” she huffed.

You laughed but quickly changed the subject, there was no need for you two to get into a fight or something along those lines, at least not today. “Don’t you want to call your friends and invite them over?”

She hummed, letting you go so you could face her. “Minjeong called to say they would be here for dinner time. Is that okay with you?”.

You felt the jealousy bubbling in your chest when Jimin mentioned the other girl, but you tried your best to control yourself. “Yuji, it’s your birthday, you’re in charge today”. A pause “actually scratch that, you’re in charge every day, but you know what I mean”.

Jimin laughed “Do you want to do something together before they get here?”.

“Actually yes, I have a surprise for you. Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back” you said as you began to make your way to the fridge.

“Are you going to dance for me?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing.

“In your dreams, buddy!” you yelled form the kitchen, you could hear her laughter growing louder at that.

“Hey! It’s my birthday! All of my dreams are supposed to come true today”. You rolled your eyes not wanting to answer to that. You made your way back to the living room with a cake box in your hands, you placed the box in the coffee table before addressing Jimin.

“I have to get something from my room, give me a second” you began to walk away, before turning to look at her with a raised eyebrow “don’t open the box while I’m gone”. Jimin laughed and agreed to wait for you to get back. You rushed to your room as quickly as possible, not trusting Jimin enough with the surprise.

As you made your way back, Jimin noticed an even bigger box in your arms this time. You placed the box next to the first one and turned to sit beside her on the couch. “Okay, all done. Go on, open the smaller box first”.

Jimin complied, reaching for the box. When she pulled the lid off, she couldn’t help the gasp that came out of her lips. “A dinosaur themed cake, really?!” she exclaimed, a goofy grin spreading across her face.

You laughed at her reaction, pointing your phone towards her so you could take a picture. “You’re a nerd like that, it was only fitting”.

“I love it, thank you so much for this, babe!” she beamed before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Open the next gift, I have a feeling you’re going to love it even more” you said, this time switching your phone to video which made Jimin a bit nervous.

Jimin reached for the next box with trembling hands, once she had it placed on her lap, she paused for a second. She picked at the skin around her fingernails as she tried to relax; you placed your hand over hers and offered her a soft smile, in that moment she knew there was no need to be nervous, it was just you after all, you had never given her any reason to doubt. Jimin carefully opened the box and immediately froze when she saw the contents of it.

“This has to be some sort of dream…” she said quietly, her attention completely zeroed in on the box in her lap.

“Happy birthday, Yuji” you said softly.

Inside the box sat the ten versions of the ‘I Got a Boy’ album by SNSD, aka Jimin’s favorite band.

“How did you manage to get these? They’re almost impossible to find, and you even got all nine members!” she exclaimed.

“I’ve been planning this for months now” you shrugged, a smirk playing at your lips “the Jessica version was incredibly hard to find, but it was definitely worth it”.

Jimin laughed, not really knowing what else to do. “This must have cost a fortune”.

“Not to brag but being a celebrity has some perks, you know?”

Jimin, with extreme care, placed the box back in the coffee table and reached over to pull you into a hug. “Breakfast in bed, the dinosaur cake, my favorite band’s album… why would you go through all this trouble for me?”.

“It’s pretty simple, you’re my absolute favorite person, Yuji” you smiled at her “I would do anything for you”. Jimin held you tighter, never wanting to let go.

“Come on” you called out to her after a few seconds “why don’t we go through your new albums together?”.

______________________

(“For the next scene, we should have y/n on a boat” a man suggested.

 “No, that’s not a good idea” Jimin countered.

“Oh really? And why not? It’s summer, it’s a popular concept”

“That might be true, but y/n has severe motion sickness, she won’t be able to film the music video properly”

“She… does?”

“Yes, one look at the boat and she will be throwing up nonstop. In fact, whenever she gets on a plane-”

“Jimin stop embarrassing me!”)

______________________

In the entirety of her time knowing you, Jimin had never felt this furious towards you. Not only had you been ignoring her, giving her the cold shoulder and just acting like a complete brat, she had caught you in the kitchen of your shared home standing way too close to Aeri for her liking.

She could still picture the horrifying scene every time she closed her eyes. You standing there, giggling and twirling your hair like some school girl while Aeri leaned in close to whisper something in your ear. Jimin saw red as soon as she walked into the kitchen and caught you two like that.

Jimin didn’t know what was worse, the fact that she got into a fight with one of her best friends, that you had locked yourself in your room after the incident and refused to talk to her, that she still couldn’t bring herself to tell you how she felt, or that she had heard Aeri asking for your number right before she left.

Maybe she should go out, find a way to distract herself from this chaos. She was about to get up from her bed when she heard a knock on her door followed by your voice. ��Jimin? Can I come in?”.

Jimin considered her options, she wanted to scream, she wanted to ignore you the same way you had ignored her, but her heart ached for you; what she wanted most was to for you to tell her it was all a misunderstanding and you were all hers.

“Okay, come in” you two should fix this mess as soon as possible, you couldn’t go out to work if you refused to talk to each other. You shuffled into Jimin’s room with a conflicted expression on your face, you looked directly into Jimin’s eyes before deciding the floor was more interesting than her face. Jimin sighed, and when you turned to look at her again, she motioned for you to sit with her on the bed.

 “Will you please tell me what the hell that was?” Jimin started, a stern expression on her face. You gulped; you had never seen her this mad.

“Aeri and I were just talking” you said.

“Bullshit!” Jimin exclaimed “I know Aeri very well, but it was clear as day that she was flirting with you”.

“You really want to do this? Fine.” You said defiantly, “I admit we were flirting, but why does that bother you, huh?”.

“Why does that bother me? Because you’re mine, y/n! Excuse me for being bothered when someone else flirts with you!” Jimin raised her voice, but you weren’t going to back down.

“I’m yours, really?” you laughed incredulously “Are you sure not mixing me up with Minjeong?”

“Minjeong? What on earth are you talking about?!”.

“Whenever Minjeong is around you always treat me differently, as if you don’t want her to see anything, and before you try to brush me off again, I know for a fact you two used to date”.

“How do you know that?” but Jimin knew the answer before you said anything.

“Aeri told me” you shrugged “she told me all about how you were each other’s first love and how you’re probably going to start dating again”.

“Minjeong and I are just friends, we’re better off as friends” Jimin huffed.

“I see the way she looks at you, Jimin, I’m not stupid” you got up from the bed, wanting to put some distance between you.

“Oh yeah?” she stood up as well, now you were screaming at each other from opposite sides of the bed “and how does she look at me, huh? Please, enlighten me”.

“She looks at you the exact same way I do, Jimin!” you felt tears threatening to spill form your eyes, but you had to get your point across. “It’s the exact way I wish you would look at me!”.

“If what you say is true, then why the hell were you flirting with Aeri?!” Jimin wasn’t ready to let that one go just yet.

“I wanted your attention! I wanted you to look at me!” you cried out. “Every time Minjeong is around you act as if there’s a wall between us, but whenever it’s just the two of us you treat me like I’m the only one you want. The last time I tried to talk to you about it you called me dramatic, I didn’t know what else to do”.

“…You gave Aeri your phone number” Jimin mumbled.

“Jimin-”

“A-and what about Miyeon, huh?” it looked like Jimin still had some fight in her. “You're practically obsessed with her!”

“What?” you shrieked.

“I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, y/n. I love your laugh; I love the way you scrunch up your nose when you’re trying to concentrate. I love the way you hum along to whatever melody is stuck in your head when you cook; I love how you pretend to like sweets because you know I like them. I love the way you have to take a pill before getting into a car because your stomach is just weak like that, which brings me to how much I love the fact that you’re willing to ride rollercoasters with me even if it means you’ll be puking your guts out for the next hour. I could go on and on, listing every little thing I’ve come to love about you, but it would probably take me decades. I just… feel insecure sometimes. I see how everyone else looks at you, I see these celebrities throwing themselves at you and I just know they could give you a better life than whatever it is that I could offer; but know this one thing, baby, they will never love you the way I do”. Jimin finished her heartfelt speech with tears spilling out of her eyes.

“You stubborn fool” you sniffed “I want to be yours. I don’t care about anyone else; do you have any idea how many celebrities I have rejected because I’m waiting for you to actually ask me to be your girlfriend? Yuji, you’re the most important person in my life, I don’t want anyone else”.

Jimin looked at you as if she couldn’t believe what you were saying. “I thought you wouldn’t feel the same…”

“You’re joking, right?” you laughed despite the tears that were coming out of your eyes. “I honestly thought you were just fooling around”.

Jimin walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and lowered her voice, making you feel weak in the knees. “There’s still a lot of things we need to talk about, but right now?” she placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Right now, I’m going to show you how much I love you”. She placed a kiss on your neck. “And I’m also going to remind you who you belong to”.

Jimin desperately pressed her lips against yours, you sighed melting into the kiss.

“I’ll make sure you never forget just how much I love you”.

______________________

("I just can’t believe how dense you were. I’ve been madly in love with you for ages.”

“You’re one to speak…”

“Excuse me? I wrote a whole album about how much I loved you.”

“Yes, but-”

“I have a song literally called ‘yjm’! You know, as in Yu Jimin?”

“Okay but-”

“We went to Paris for my birthday!”

“Yeah, as friends!”

“The city of love? Really, Jimin?”)

______________________

A/N: It's finally here! I've been working on this one for the longest time, but I never expected it to be this long haha

I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you have any suggestions regarding whatever just let me know.

[jmdbjk]

Namjoon's June 15 letter

A much better translation than the one on Weverse.

"...it felt great to get together with the members after a really long time and have a heart-to-heart over drinks (though more than half the conversation consisted of military stories.. haha). It had been nearly 10 whole months since we did something like this. Why did I miss these guys so much.."

I hope we get to hear some of these military stories too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... you take something for granted until you don't have access to it anymore. Makes these group photos even more precious nowadays.

"Jin hyung did always tell us that he missed the other members a lot, that we were going to feel the same. Now scattered apart, living somewhere in Gangwondo, I understand it, it resonates so deeply."

I felt that to my core. I am so very thankful Jimin and Jungkook have each other. I cannot fathom either of them trying to get through this time alone. So thankful.

"Actually talking face-to-face, I was reminded of the things that remain unchanging, the place that I have to return to, the person that I was.. it was a meaningful, precious time for all of us."

Namjoon realizes where he belongs, with his brothers of BTS and with us. Just like Jin realized he was finally home, onstage, with Army, where he belonged.

Going to wipe my tears and re-gird my loins to get through one more year. We still have some things to look forward to: Jungkook and Tae's documentaries? Jimin's song or album? Jimin and Jungkook drinking around the world? Jin's album! Whatever Hobi has for a 6-month post-discharge plan!

Whatever they give us, I am going to cherish every moment until we get to see them walk out of their respective barracks for the last time next June.

Apobangpo, everyone!

[chimini3]

Acouasm

Acouasm (n.) a ringing noise in your head

Synopsis: When your relationship with Kim Taehyung goes public, a walk down the red carpet turns south when you are attacked.

Notes: I had so much to write in this fic but it ended up being sub par and I wanna release it on V’s birthday, so I’ll probably work on another one similar to this situation. I even had another draft but I thought it was too gorey and violent 🥲 Anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY V! Enjoy reading and thank you so much for liking my past oneshot Saudade.

Word Count: 11.9k

Your relationship with BTS’ Kim Taehyung had a long story.

You came from the same highschool and had been acquainted before, though you hadn’t interacted apart from a few glances in the halls. He was a few years older than you and Korean Arts High School was populated with soon to be popular faces, so you didn’t expect him to remember much about you. However, that didn’t stop you from having a massive crush on him as he seemed to be way different from his fellow BigHit trainee, Jimin.

Taehyung was more reserved and usually kept to a close knit of friends during school hours, though everyone seemed to know him and he knew everyone. He didn’t have any official relationships with anyone during highschool, yet it wasn’t like he was coined a loser. He was oh so much your type, though your crush on him didn’t last long after he graduated.

You knew he debuted in a boy group with his friend Jimin, and that was as far as you knew about his whereabouts. You didn’t have time to worry about him when you were already facing some difficulties in your own life at that time.

You were picked up by a more trustable agency in your third year of highschool. They were adamant on debuting a girl group and you were determined to be a part of that, so you trained harder than you have ever trained, worked harder than you’ve ever worked, and you finally got your pay off when you debuted three years after.

It was 2017 and your debut went smoothly. You weren’t an instant flop, though you weren’t an instant pop either. However, with enough work in producing three albums for your first year, you managed to come through and win the Mama 2017 Best New Artist Award.

Winning an award and enjoying your time performing songs and watching the other idol groups perform in the 2017 Mnet Asian Music Awards also meant that you would make a few new friends during the event. Your group had to switch seats often during the first half, so you had a lot of interactions with other groups. Coincidentally, landing seats right in front of a particularly cheery idol group for the rest of the night.

“Bangtan Sonyeondan! Congratulations!” The woman speaks onto the microphone as the group of boys behind you cheered and gathered into a group hug before they all started making their way out to the stage, and a specific pair of bright eyes catches yours as he passes by. Kim Taehyung.

You didn’t hold back a smile when you realized it was his group who had won a daesang. You clapped your hands even louder to congratulate him as he bows to you and your group and fixes his blonde hair that was held back by a cloth headband.

Later that night when a message from him surprised you. It turns out a director had forwarded your KakaoTalk to him after he asked, and he had made the time to message you despite the fact that they should be celebrating after their win by now.

A few messages at night had turned into friendly calls when no one was around. It was damn obvious that he was interested in you and you couldn’t say that your highschool crush on him had gone away after all these years. He was charming and he understood the struggles of being an idol.

When you and your bandmates would fight then he would drop anything to message or call you to listen to you vent. When he was having a particularly rough time with his schedules, he made sure that you would know and yet still made time to check up on you. Both of you would even be preparing for a comeback at the same time, and yet both of you supported each other through all of it. He was a rock you could lean on and you were an ear for him to rant to.

Soon after, you started hanging out with each other in your free time. It wasn’t a date or anything of the sorts. He just so happens to want to buy something when you would go on errands. He would joke that a popular idol like you shouldn’t be grocery shopping alone despite the fact that he was in fact more popular than you, though you never held jealousy over that fact. You were actually proud of him and his group after you learned of their earlier hardships, and you were even prouder when he would vent to you about their contract problems early 2018.

You two would try new coffee spots together and even watch the new Marvel movies together. Taehyung was certain that Doctor Strange was his favorite Marvel superhero because of his amazing cape, and didn’t hide that fact when he went on an interview in LA that asked him about it. You two even commented on each other’s interviews from time to time since you were both learning English and you two found it helpful to learn from each other.

And don’t start about how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during Mama 2018, not when you two were on a call the night before he got his hair colored and you sent him a picture of the brightest pink you could see on Google to dare him into changing his hair that same hue. It was a funny joke, yet he called you the night after with the same hue on his hair. You would watch the American movie Trolls together through the call that night and his nickname on KakaoTalk would be changed for the very first time to ‘Poppy Imposter’ alluding to the pink haired Troll in the movie.

After a year of steadily getting closer and calling each other friends, he finally confessed to you. You knew he liked you and he knew that you knew he liked you, yet it still seemed like your heart was palpitating out of your chest. He didn’t kiss you. He simply stated a fact and said that he wanted to court you, and God did you fall for him even harder.

When he asked you out on a first date, he also asked for your parents’ permission. He made sure to make it known that he was serious about you and you were sure that this man couldn’t do anything more to make you fall for him more.

He was such a romantic. He made sure everything was done how it should be. He made sure to pick you up for your date with a bouquet of flowers for you and your mother. He made sure to greet your parents by the front door. He assured your father that he would keep you safe and take you home by your curfew. Despite the fact that you were a full-grown adult and had your own apartment to go home to. He opened the door of his car for you and he pulled the chair of the fancy restaurant for you. He was a true gentleman, and it didn’t take more than five months for you to answer him.

Both your companies knew of your affairs. Taehyung wasn’t exactly quiet about you and you can’t say no to him when he would ask you to go on a late night walk with him whenever you were in the same city. Your companies would help payout any media networks that saw you two in your public dates, though that didn’t stop other idols from gossiping about your relationship. It was getting harder for them to contain you two especially when he went on longer promotion stints outside Korea, and your appearance near his apartment anytime BTS arrived in Korea didn’t go unnoticed. You were two lovers deeply in love, and it got worse during Mama 2019.

“You’re up in ten minutes ladies!” A stage director yells to the hallway over the chaos of staff around us. You and your group were about to enter the dark backstage to prepare for the penultimate performance of the evening, right before BTS.

You had seen your boyfriend and his group leave the artist area earlier, though it seemed like they weren’t going to the waiting rooms directly. You just hoped he could watch your performance on his phone. Despite already seeing each other’s performances during rehearsals.

“Wait! Don’t go up yet! The backstage is still not ready!” Another staff member yelled as an older member tried to make a move to get inside the backstage.

You sigh as the crowded and loud surroundings begin to make you nervous. You could feel sweat gathering on your forehead as a makeup artist tried to dry it down. How long were they going to announce the awards?

The makeup artist by your side leaves to fix up your other members and you take the opportunity to find something in the hallway to keep your attention on. The more you could distract yourself from the chaotic environment the better, so you looked down both sides of the hallway and watched props and staff pass by.

There in the busy and harshly lit hallway was your messy haired boyfriend with a bright red cardigan, that he specifically wore for you to notice him in the crowd of idols, push past the crowd to look for you. His bandmates seemed to get inside their own waiting room to prepare whilst Jimin and Jungkook waited by the door to watch him find his way to you. His overgrown and curled hair was doing nothing to help him find you, though once his eyes met yours at the end of the hallway, you could feel a smile creep onto your cheeks.

“Hey!” Taehyung greets as he walks a few more steps to stand in front of you. He brushes his hair aside and shows you his warm brown eyes, void of any colored contact lenses. His smile was bright as you notice sweat on his forehead.

“Good luck out there. You’re going to kill it, I swear.” Taehyung cheers as you smile at him and nod. He reaches to hold both your hands as you only realize that they were shaking when his gentle and steady ones encapsulates them.

“I should be the one calming you down. You have five songs to do!” You say with a chuckle as he chuckles with you and brings your hands to kiss its knuckles. His lips hover a little longer over your left ring finger, though you don’t notice.

“I perform five songs, but I’m not the popular worldstar that South Korea votes as number one on the most beautiful female artists.” Taehyung says with a shrug as a more boisterous laugh comes out of you.

“Okay, and you talk as if you aren’t internationally known for a handsome face.” You throw back as Taehyung rolls his eye and lets go of one of your hands to throw his hair out his face and show you one nasty pimple that had been growing on his forehead. He had actually been pulling back his dermatologist and facial appointment, so that he could do both of them with you. He wanted to keep your dates ‘unique’ he says.

“Don’t show that around here Tae! You’re going to get exposed!” You scolded as he laughed and shook his head to glance at the even more incriminating position you both were in. Closely standing next to each other with your hands held together and both your eyes shimmering with that profound love. If someone was to take a picture to expose you two then could they send it to him too because he wants to take this moment and make it his phone’s lock screen.

“Taehyung! You have to get ready!”

“Y/N! We can enter the backstage already!”

Both your bandmates say at the same time, though neither of your eyes fall to look away from each other.

“I love you. Be careful in performing and don’t be nervous. You’re amazing and always will be.” Taehyung says as his soft hands grab hold of your jaw to direct your lips to his. The kiss was soft and ended quickly, though the energy and ease it gave you was a pill that made you feel like you could do everything you put your mind to.

“I love you too. Be careful in your performance too. I know you’ll do great already. I might miss the first part of it though, since they won’t let us out immediately after.” You pouted as Taehyung chuckled and pecked a kiss on your forehead whilst rubbing your shoulder to assure you that he didn’t mind.

“I can’t even watch yours live. I have to watch it in the waiting room, but I’ll make sure to cheer for you just as much. We’ll watch the replay later on the TV anyways. My place and some good takeout?” Taehyung proposes as you were always welcome to a night at his place.

“We’ll see if you aren’t blackout drunk from the celebrations.” You chuckled as you were slowly inching away from your lover. You can hear your leader call out to you multiple times already and your manager was coming down the hall, so you really had to close this off.

Thankfully, Taehyung only laughed and let you go. He even waved to you as you disappeared backstage. He wasn’t going to get drunk tonight, perhaps tipsy, but he would much rather remember a night with you than drink. He wasn’t much of an alcohol fan anyways. A glass of wine with you seemed much more his taste.

And that was what ended up happening. The two of you sprawled out on his sofa at six in the morning. Takeout food littered the coffee table along with glasses of wine and a replay of your MMA performances.

After the event, the two of you parted ways to go to separate afterparties for a few hours before you both excused yourselves and got to Taehyung’s apartment. You two had laughed over some funny playbacks that you missed during the event, and you celebrated on your own two ways.

Taehyung had brought you out to his balcony when he saw the sun rising. He felt like a true winner as he watched you bury yourself in his hoodie under a thick blanket on his balcony’s couch. The silence engulfing you two as sleep ate away at your high. Events like the Mnet Asian Music Awards and Melon Music Awards always had your sleeping schedules messed up, though he didn’t mind. How could he mind when the award shows were the reason why he had seen your beauty in the first place.

He thinks that even if you weren’t there in MAMA 2017 then he would have still fallen in love with you some other way. He believes that in different dimensions he still finds a way to find you and love you. He always will, and there was no universe out there that Kim Taehyung existed without you.

“Hey… look at me.” Taehyung breaks the silence as you turn to face him. The sky was only beginning to get lighter, though you were both still enclosed in darkness and the warm lights he had around his balcony.

“I would have never thought that the sophomore I saw in the hallways during break would have me wrapped around their finger in five years time. I would have never thought that the all-rounder of the girl group who won best new artist in MAMA 2017 would have me asking multiple staff members for her number. But what I now know is that I love this sophomore and I love this all-rounder. I love you. I love you so much, and I know for a fact that there is no one else I could love this much. Kim Taehyung in other realities always falls in love with Y/L/N Y/N and I don’t need to be Doctor Strange to know that. So…” Taehyung pauses as he stands up and grabs a box from his sweatpant’s pocket.

You were staring at him in shock and awe as you processed his words whilst trying to process his movements. You two were too young to get married. He knew that and you two had jokingly discussed that, so what the hell was he doing?!

“I’m not proposing. Don’t worry.” Taehyung chuckles as he bends both his knees to crouch on the floor and presents you with a cream box. He opens it to reveal two gorgeous Bvlgari Couple Rings. Both were of the color silver, though one was littered with gems and the other was plain.

Taehyung places the box on the table in front of the couch as he takes the ring littered with gems and softly reaches for your hand just like earlier. He takes your left hand and kisses the knuckle right above your ring finger as he looks up at you with doe eyes. The sun’s rays appeared higher up the horizon now and its soft hues colored his face perfectly.

“I want you to take this promise ring because with this you hold the promise of my heart forever loving yours. All my beauty and imperfections. My tight schedule and long rants. My overly romantic and cringey actions and my eyes that look for you in every crowd.” Taehyung says and a stinging sensation catches up to your eye.

“It will also keep your finger warm until the time I propose to you and marry you, so… will you—“ Taehyung’s slight joking and following question was cut off by your voice cracking. He looked back up to you after eyeing your bare finger and you had tears in your eyes. His eyes immediately fogging as it copies yours.

“Yes. Yes, Tae.” You nod your head to help rid your eyes of tears as Taehyung slips the silver ring through your ring finger and a happy tear slides down his cheek.

“And you, Taehyung. I want you to keep this promise ring until the time I marry you because God knows I’ll save up for a really expensive ring.” You joke as Taehyung laughs boisterously. You reach out for his left hand and take the remaining silver ring.

“I love you so much, baby. I’ve always loved you.” You say as you slid the ring through his fingers and something in your heart locks with security. It was as if life was completed with a simple ring even if it was just a promise ring.

You two had tear stains on your cheeks from happiness and Taehyung immediately stood up, farring you along with him, and brought you in for a deep and passionate kiss on the lips. His lips soft against yours as it held so much love for one another.

When you two parted you simply rested each other’s foreheads against one another as the sun fully rose from slumber. The sun’s light encapsulates the two of you in its beauty and peace. If only someone could take a picture of this moment right now…

Everything changed after these leaks. Both your management team had reached the agreement to put some space between the two of you to avoid any more evidence that could support the strong claim of your relationship. This meant lesser visits to Taehyung’s compromised apartment and lesser events where your group and BTS could have any interactions.

You barely saw Taehyung now and it felt like you had been thrusted back in time to when you were both getting to know each other and only calling and texting each other at night. Back then it felt like the right amount of time to spend with him, but now it felt too little. You missed him and not being able to see each other for months even when you were both in the same city hurts. You felt so close, yet so far.

BTS had also started growing internationally and Taehyung was spending more time abroad. Especially with their Map of The Soul world tour. You had your world tour too, but you two always made the effort to see each other once a month at most. Now, you barely saw each other in three months.

You didn’t understand why they needed you two to be separated after the rumors. There were always rumors in the Kpop world and they had always managed to payout news outlets, so why this ridiculous rule now? It was making you more and more frustrated by each meeting that you asked them to stop.

It all came to a breaking point in late September 2020. It had been ten months and the BTS world tour had ended in September, yet Taehyung and you hadn’t even seen each other since the summer. You were sick and tired of it and your latest comeback failing to reach the charts had stressed you out immensely.

“You know the question I’m about to ask.” You said coldly as your management team didn’t spare you a glance. Your general meeting had ended and though the other members and staff were still in the same room you didn’t stop yourself from speaking your mind.

“And you know what the answer is to it always.” Your lead manager says as you close your eyes to stop any tears from falling down your cheeks.

You were exhausted. You were exhausted from not making it to the charts and feeling as though all your hard work had turned out to be a failure, and you knew that perhaps a small break to be with Taehyung could fix you up nicely. A cuddle and a kiss could boot you right up to start producing and writing songs again. His touch could ease all your sore muscles and his voice humming songs to you could free your ears from the annoying buzz in your ear. A buzz that you think came from the amount of time you spent sampling beats in the studio, and then listening to the same beats during dance practice. Your head was a mess and you could only hear music through a broken filter.

“It’s been ten months…” You say quietly, though the founder of the company abruptly stands up and slaps his hand on the table.

“We can’t risk it!” He sounded angry as his loud voice shushes everyone.

“All of you! We can’t risk it, and you better listen before I put all of you on a dating ban!” He threatens as collective anger boils between all of you girls. You knew that each and every one of you had committed relationships, so there was no way in any universe would you agree to a dating ban.

“What the hell?! You can’t do that so abruptly! What’s really going on? Why is everyone so tense?!” Your leader speaks up as all staff members quiet down and the room is filled with silence. The clock on the wall could be heard ticking and if you really listened in, you would hear your own patience decreasing with each click.

“We’re nearing bankruptcy, okay?! Your album flopped, we’re losing sponsors, and I can’t afford paying out the media for your issue, okay?!” Your boss snaps as he seems to be on the verge of breaking down.

All your group members were at the same amount of shock as you were, though every

“How much time do we have?” Your leader asks as your boss breathes in a heavy sigh.

“6 months at most. We’re reducing staff and we can push for one more studio album. If it doesn’t chart then we’re done. I’m sorry.”

You left the meeting that evening with tears in your eyes and your head feeling agitated. How could they keep this very important news from you and the girls?! This was your job and your future. You had the right to know what was internally happening. Now, all of you had to give your best for the new comeback or else you would be left jobless.

This fury of emotions in you was getting overwhelming and as soon as you arrived in your apartment you called Taehyung for some comfort. Perhaps you could even see each other tonight. A good takeout dinner and a few kisses and cuddles could fix you right up for the new comeback.

“Hey babe, I’m at a shoot right now.” Taehyung answers the phone as you nodded and mentally noted that he would probably be called to hang up on you at any moment.

“Hey…What time do you end?” You asked meekly before you cleared your throat and leaned on your kitchen counter with a glass of water on your other hand.

“Ten or eleven. Why?” Taehyung seemed to be moving on the other side as you sigh. Late dinner would be fine, as long as you were with him, right?

“I was wondering if we could have some dinner at either of our places. I’ve had a bad day and I miss you.” You say truthfully as you closed your eyes and hold the tears that want to push past your eyelids.

“I’m sorry to hear that baby, but I don’t think it would be good for us to see each other right now. Management—“

“Please Tae. I need you.” You interrupted him as a sob coursed through your throat. You felt pathetic for asking for your boyfriend’s attention when you knew how busy the industry is during this time of the year, but you just heard your dreams are in danger and you needed someone you could vent to.

“Baby… I think it would be better if we follow our mana—“

“God! Do you not want to see me?!” This unexpected rage filled you as you began to see red behind the tears that dripped down your cheeks. Your apartment felt too hot. The heat made you agitated. You wanted one thing and the world couldn’t even give you that.

“You know it’s not like that.” Taehyung’s small voice sounded hurt from behind the phone’s speaker, but it enraged you more knowing your hurt was hurting him. You couldn’t do one thing right, couldn’t you? No. How dare he act hurt when you doubt he even fights for you in their meetings. It was always you asking to see him and he would remind you of both your management team’s warnings.

“Really?! Because I’m starting to think that you don’t even want to see me anymore. We haven’t even seen each other since summer! God knows where you’ve been during your tours.” Your last statement was uncalled for. You knew that. Your anger shouldn’t start accusations especially when you know that the man on the other side of the phone was deeply in love with you, but rage makes you do unexplainable things.

You were angry at everything and everyone, and the words that spilled out of your mouth had no further value but the vile that it carries. Taehyung knew that, but he was in the middle of his fifth shoot of the week. He was trying to be as patient as he could be with you, but a nerve had been touched when you questioned his loyalty. How could you question his loyalty when he has done everything in his power to show you how much he was in love with you? He had asked countless times when he could see you, but rejection was always the answer of his managers.

He hated this year just as much as he hated himself for bringing you out to the balcony that night. Not because he regretted giving you his promise ring, but because he wasn’t thinking properly. He should’ve known that neighboring people could see him with you. He should’ve thought about it clearer. He shouldn’t have placed you in that vulnerable situation, and that idea manifested itself to why he was so willing to follow the rules of his managers. He didn’t want to put you in that place again. He didn’t want both your names to go under fire on Twitter again.

“I don’t want to fight with you right now.” Taehyung says dejectedly as the glass on your hand slips to land on the floor. The sound of the glass shattering on the floor and the water spilling on tiles reached Taehyung’s ears as a shock filled him.

“Baby?! What was that sound? Are you okay?” Taehyung sits up straighter from where he was seated in the waiting room with the rest of his band members. All their eyes went to him as he looked panicked whilst on his phone call.

“Yeah, just a glass of water. I’ll talk to you later, V.” Your voice was monotone and the usage of his stage name had caused a frown to rest on Taehyung’s face. It felt strange. It felt as though you were placing a barrier between you and him when you used his stage name. The same barrier an idol had with their fans, but your relationship wasn’t like that. You were the love of his life and the keeper of his promise. Getting called his stage name by you felt cold.

Taehyung turns his phone off after you hang up on him and he leans back on the sofa he sat on. Yoongi sat asleep on his right whilst Jungkook was nearing sleep on his left, though Jimin sat across the room on another sofa with his eyebrow furrowed as if asking the younger for what that was about. However, Jimin was beaten to ask Taehyung about his call as Namjoon pipes in from sitting beside Jimin.

“What was that about?” Namjoon asks as Taehyung sighs. He didn’t want to answer, but now five pairs of eyes were on him and the ears of their makeup artists were pressuring him to answer with something.

“You already know.” Taehyung says in a low voice, though his hyungs nod in understanding.

“I don’t get why you don’t just go see her. You know, I break Sejin’s rules all the time.” Jimin says as he earns a warning shove from Namjoon and a laugh from Hoseok. They all eventually break Sejin’s rules and Taehyung himself even broke his rules earlier into courting you, but he shouldn’t risk it now. Not when your names were out there and any signs that you were dating would be taken as the truth.

“We’ll help you sneak out later, Taehyung ah.” Jin offers as he flashes the younger a playful grin and a wink from his seat in front of the mirror surrounded by makeup artists.

“Sejin will pay you out of everything.”

“You have to be careful though. Our company could buy you out, but hers might not have the funds for it.” Hoseok pipes in as his sudden negative input has everyone turning to him with questioning looks.

“Don’t you guys look at their stocks? It’s been getting lower since last year. It might be the reason why you weren’t protected from the balcony incident.” Hoseok says as he flashes the boys his screen that is filled with stocks.

“No, the balcony incident was because the people who caught us immediately posted it without the help of media outlets. Our management can only protect us to an extent.” Taehyung now speaks as he shakes his head and massages his forehead. They all knew that. If fans capture them then it would pose a larger threat because they were willing to release any media without sending an email and deal to companies.

But what Taehyung did take note from what his hyung said was how your company’s stocks were lowering. You never told him that problem so he thinks it isn’t a major problem, though if his hyung knew about it then the changes must be drastic.

And they were drastic. After you hang up on Taehyung, you have turned your tears into a driving power to get working on some lyrics in your notebook. You didn’t even realize the amount of time that had passed as you spent it hunched over the coffee table writing away. The glass shards still littered the tiles of the kitchen and your mascara still darkened your eyes.

It was already one in the morning and Taehyung carefully got into your apartment building as both his hands held your favorite takeout paper bags with drinks. The boys had in fact helped him sneak out of the dorm that night, and it took him a few minutes and taxi rides to finally get everything he wanted to buy for the night.

He was going to apologize tonight. He was going to tell you the truth of everything on his mind and he would listen to everything you had to say. He wanted to make things right and it starts with giving you a kiss as soon as he enters the door.

The knock from your apartment’s door was the first sound you’d heard in the past few hours. It brought you to consciousness from your endless writing, and when you looked down to see your work everything was only an incomprehensible mess. Dried tear stains littered the pages and the callus on your finger grew thicker from friction.

You pushed yourself up from your spot on the carpet and walked carefully towards your front door. Another soft knock followed after some silence and you wanted to tell the person on the other side that you were coming, though your throat was raw from lack of usage.

“Hey baby.” Taehyung’s figure greets you as you open the door. His freshly trimmed dark hair covered his forehead as his mask was discarded under his chin. His figure was engulfed in a black jacket with its hood unused. A soft smile played on his lips, though it fell as soon as he saw your figure. The smile instead was replaced with a look of worry as you can only imagine what state you looked like.

“I— I’m so sorry I didn’t come any sooner…” Taehyung immediately sets down the paper bags of food by the doorway before approaching you to engulf in a big warm hug. The hug that you had wished for earlier, and finally your emotions were put to ease.

The little droplets of rain left on his jacket and his steady heartbeat got rid of every pain and anger you had in your body and you finally let your eyes close as you hugged him back. His breath on top of your head slowly brings you back to the love and warmth you always knew would come to you.

“Tae, my— my company…”

You both had let everything out through dinner. In the early hours of the day, you both cried and laughed. You catched up with the happenings of each other's lives and you forgave each other.

���You know what would be great right now?” You spoke as Taehyung looked up to you from his place on your lap. His head rested on the valley of your thighs as his Hwarang drama played on the TV in your living room. His eyes bright and a soft smile permanently plastered to his lips.

“What?”

“A cone of ice cream.” You say as you watch his eyes brighten at the idea. So what if he just got his teeth cleaned and they were sensitive to cold food? If you wanted ice cream then he wants it too.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s get some ice cream!” He says as he sits up and turns off the TV.

“Tae, we can’t go out.” You remind him though the brow he raises and smug look on his face just makes a smile break your lips.

“I don’t care. No payouts, no worries. If they know then they’ll know. I’ll get my girl her ice cream!”

You giggle as Taehyung goes into your bedroom and comes out with a large black puffer jacket, a pair of warm socks, and a scarf. He ordered you to stand up as he wrapped the warm jacket over your figure and wrapped your neck up with a scarf. He pulls out a wet wipe to gently wipe your face with any dried tears or mascara before he pulls you towards the front door.

He doesn’t even let you crouch down to tie your own shoes or put your own socks on because he does it for you before he does his own. And soon you were already walking out your apartment building with his hand playing with yours.

You ended up grabbing a cone of your favorite ice cream from an ice cream place that was open 24/7. It was roughly a fifteen minute walk from your place and when he sensed your pace slowing, he took a detour and took you to a riverside road that had benches looking out onto the river.

Light bulbs tied into strings hung from trees and the gentle flow of the river made the place serene. You two sat on a bench and ate your ice cream by the river as silence engulfed you two. A comforting peace hugging you tightly as time seemed nonexistent when you were with him. You leaned your head on his shoulder and basked in the moment. A buzz of restlessness ringing in your ear, though it didn’t matter whenever he was near.

If someone took a picture of you now then you wouldn’t care anymore. As long as you were with him then you would be fine.

Everyone was convinced that the two of you were dating and ever since then you were a bit more shameless to post pictures on your instagram with a few too many similarities to deny that you two weren’t in the same place at the same time.

With the news of your unconfirmed relationship reaching new lengths with more leaked content, you two became somewhat old news. Everyone knew there was something undeniable between you two, though nothing had been confirmed. Your two companies stayed out of it after their first statement that only clarified that both of you weren’t engaged, though it also said that your companies had no rights in your personal engagements.

A month after, your latest comeback had been released and it was a massive pop. It had landed the charts and stayed on the Top 5 even with rising competition and BTS’s unstoppable Dynamite single. And Maybe, just maybe, it could save your company’s decline.

The end of November was the season of awardings and your latest comeback just manages to squeeze into the eligibility period of the criteria. Which meant your hit comeback had actually landed you multiple nominations, and perhaps your first ever Daesang? If that was possible against BTS’s unstoppable year.

It felt as though your struggles through the year were getting set to rest, and whatever happens now was up to the world’s hands.

Arriving in the 2020 Mnet Asian Music Awards felt like a reward. You could finally relax and enjoy the event of your year’s work. In these events you would always remember how it changed your life by letting you and Taehyung meet gazes. How it made you meet your closest friends and interact with fans from different fandoms. It was a celebration whether you left as a winner or not.

Taehyung took his first step out to walk the red carpet as cameras flash all around him. The crowd of fans behind the media outlets raised their phone cameras as cheers roared. His bandmates smiled and waved as they took a spot right in front of the banner backdrop.

They were missing Yoongi that night. The rapper was absent to recover from his long due shoulder surgery that he got in an accident years ago. This small change in their usual order had all the staff and management team on edge. They already had to relearn their choreography and positions for the performance tonight, and the staff were busy all week to find ways on how they would spend Yoongi’s rap parts of the song without him, so it was an understatement to say that everyone was a little tired and on edge for tonight.

The six remaining members all arranged themselves into their familiar order, with Taehyung leading the line and leaving a space for Yoongi before Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin, and Hoseok followed in order.

They all stopped at the first spot where semi-popular outlets took pictures of them and their different colored suits. They all had a mix of muted navy, white, and some accents of maroon, a color scheme that stood out from the classic black suit. Taehyung wore navy trousers and a matching suit jacket whilst his undershirt was a satin white. His suit jacket was buttoned up to his chest and had a maroon colored handkerchief in its pocket.

After a few seconds, a director had signed for Taehyung to continue walking along the carpet as the boy group Seventeen, that was ahead of them in the queue, moved towards the part of the carpet where the event hosts would interview them.

Taehyung glanced behind him to make sure his bandmates were following him as he moved further up the queue. They stopped once again with their line still intact and they posed for the more known media outlets.

At the same time, their junior’s Tomorrow X Together arrived and followed them in the queue by taking their previous spot. Their hoobaes dressed in fitting black suits as they arranged themselves in a line and posed for the cameras. The crowd also cheered for them, before they reverted their attention to the short interview held on the members of Seventeen.

Another cue of a director made Taehyung turn to watch the Seventeen walk inside the building. He waited patiently for all members to enter before he followed to occupy the spot they had left. The host, Song Joong Ki, greeted the members as Taehyung was handed two microphones that he passed to his bandmates. He would let his hyung’s take care of the interview answers, though he still smiled to the cameras that flashed and broadcasted the carpet.

“Welcome! Bangtan Sonyeondan!” Song Joong Ki announces as classic questions fall from his lips, though he has lost all of Taehyung’s attention when he saw you enter to lead your group on the queue of the carpet.

Your body clad in a white angelic like satin material dress. It had thick bows as spaghetti straps on your shoulders, though it kept the skin of your collarbone and shoulders exposed. It hugged your torso tightly almost like a corset before it loosened below your waists and made you seem like a doll. Hemline details on your skirt had separated the silky fabric of the bodice and majority of the skirt to the more flowy and scrunched material that gave your dress an airy aura. Your white heels polished to shine as bright as the cameras, and your angel-like makeup made Taehyung feel like he was actually seeing an angel.

He didn’t care if people saw how his mouth stood agape and how his gaze stayed on you for a moment too long. It was the only appropriate reaction to your outfit. Your bandmates also had varying white dresses on, yet you seemed like the star of the show. A true beauty that he was blessed to witness in his lifetime.

“Taehyung ah, stop staring at your girlfriend and move.” Jin had whispered to Taehyung. The space for Yoongi in between them had disappeared as Taehyung snapped his gaze back to his hyung. He could see you posing for pictures on his peripheral vision, though the slight nudge of Jin pushing him along to enter the venue was enough for him to stop watching you.

He could even see Jimin flashing him a smirk as it was quite obvious who had stolen all his attention. Taehyung was shameless as he only smiled and calmly walked towards the small steps leading to the venue.

He wondered how he would celebrate tonight. The Mnet Asian Music Awards always have been an indicator to him that it had been another year since he met the most beautiful angel on Earth. He would always replay the moment he caught your eyes when he received an award, and sometimes, if he was lucky, your eyes would meet and he falls for you deeper than he had the first time you met. Gosh, he hoped one of the cameras had gotten a good picture of you because he can’t wait to make it his homesc—

Bang.

And screaming was all he heard as his head snapped to find out what the commotion was about. Everyone’s handheld cameras had turned to the start of the queue, and the cameras that were on fixed stands to face the carpet in front were left unattended by the camera directors. All their eyes widening at a sight that Taehyung couldn’t see.

Security guards that stood near the venue entrance had run past Taehyung to get to the commotion, though Taehyung couldn’t see through a combination of his hyung’s heads and the bodies of managers and staff that filled the red carpet.

Taehyung was more curious than worried about the commotion. All he knew was that the commotion had taken place at the start of the queue where he stood just a few moments ago. Taehyung watched as all his members tried to raise their necks to see past the crowd.

Namjoon had tapped a staff member to ask what happened, and Taehyung would have intently eavesdropped the conversation if not for the face Jimin had flashed Taehyung as he turned with a worried look. It was a look that knew something.

How did Jimin see through the crowd? They didn’t know.

“What is it?” Taehyung asked as Jimin stopped stretching his neck and stared at him with wide eyes whilst licking his lips as if he was finding the right words to describe the situation he saw.

But Taehyung didn’t need to hear it from him as Jin soon found a gap to see what happened, and the loud ‘woah’ that involuntarily left his throat was enough for all members present to look at him.

However, just like Jimin did after seeing the commotion, their eldest member flashed Taehyung worried eyes before grabbing Taehyung’s wrist as if he could bolt at any moment. These glances and actions were starting to worry Taehyung now. He would understand if the members who saw something happened wouldn’t want the other members to know, but why did it look as if they didn’t want him specifically to know or react.

“What?” Taehyung’s Daegu accent came out as he was getting worried at what was happening.

Then a few gasps came from the crowd that watched and Taehyung finally found a gap to see someone on top of another person at the start of the queue. Right where your group was standing mere seconds ago.

Taehyung tugged at Jin’s grip as he finally saw someone pull the erratically moving person off the floor and the person she had pinned to the floor.

Who was getting attacked? Taehyung didn’t know yet, but something in his stomach told him that his hyungs knew.

The crazy woman was pulled off the floor by a security guard. Taehyung's gaze went from the woman fighting the guard to one of the barriers that separated the general crowd of fans from the photographers, carpet, and artists. The barrier was on the floor as other fans didn’t dare cross it, though he had figured that the loud bang was from the barrier falling to the floor.

Taehyung then let his gaze wander to whoever the woman had pinned to the floor and lo and behold… it was you.

Seeing your messy hair and disoriented figure had blood surging through Taehyung’s body. A different type of adrenaline flowed through him unlike the ones he experiences at concerts. No, this one made him want to fight and flight at the same time.

Taehyung easily pulled away from Jin’s grip as he walked past Jimin before he could block his way. The call of his name from Hoseok and Jungkook fell on deaf ears as he continued his fast strides towards you. His eyes fixed on your figure before it was lost behind a crowd of people.

Taehyung pushed past TXT with little to no problems. He simply murmured an apology and an ‘excuse me’ as he passed through.

A ring of people had circled where you were supposed to be as Taehyung pushed past people in his goal to reach you. It felt as though his body was walking through quicksand at how he had to forcibly get his body past the crowd.

He can feel his suit get wrinkled and his shoes get stepped on. His hair must be ruffled by now and perhaps one of his prop rings had already slipped past a finger, but it didn’t matter. As long as the silver band he had as your promise was fine and he gets to you in the least amount of time then anything else could be replaceable.

With one more push he finally got to the middle of the crowd. The air felt less dense, though Taehyung couldn’t get a proper breath in until he could see that you were okay.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to meet each other though. Your wide blown out eyes reach peace as your eyes meet his, and he would be lying if your eyes didn’t give him just a small bit of ease running through his body.

He immediately took a step towards you as a few gasps were heard followed by a louder bang rang and silenced his surroundings. A disorienting buzz ran through his ears as he turned towards the woman to see her get tackled to the floor by multiple security guards and a gun slipping past her grip.

The bang wasn’t another barrier falling…

She shot a bullet

And he didn’t know where it landed.

Taehyung reached for you to engulf with his body and shield you from the direction the woman was. You immediately collapsed into his grip as you brought your hands to cover your face and bury yourself in Taehyung’s suit.

“Baby, are you okay? Are you hurt? D—did you…” Taehyung couldn’t finish what he wanted to ask you as he opted to skim your body for any obvious injuries.

He wasn't going to admit it but he was looking for a bullet wound under the fabric of your dress, though all he saw was the ruffled satin material as you cried onto his chest. His grip on you tightened as he turned his head back to see proper police men restrain the woman in handcuffs.

“You’re okay now. You’re fine. You’re safe, baby. She’s gone.” Taehyung repeats his words over your hair. A kiss landing on your messy hair. His whispers of comfort placed ease into both your bodies, though you could still hear his heart pumping heavily.

“Tae…” You were breathless as tears uncontrollably dripped down your cheeks. You were just thankful that Taehyung was blocking you from the media. Now that the woman was gone, the media was bound to get an aftermath photo of you so you were just glad they couldn’t see you in the middle of a breakdown.

“Yes baby? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?” Taehyung asked as he rubbed a hand on the top of your hair to soothe down some loose strands, though the action was more to comfort you than fix up your appearance. He was well aware of the cameras and whispers around you.

“Are— are you hurt? The g-gun…” Your voice shakes as you wipe your tears and look up at him.

The sounds of cameras flashing, managers and staff speaking loudly, and police, was the loud buzzing of your ear. It started right as you were tackled to the ground with a twist of your ankle and your head hitting the not so soft red carpet. It still heavily buzzes in your ear over any other noise, excluding Taehyung’s calming voice which you can hear just as clear as the vibrations of your heart pumping.

“No. No, I’m not hurt, baby. Please answer me now. Are you okay?” Taehyung repeats himself whilst placing emphasis on the word ‘you’. He brings a gentle hand to wipe tears sliding down your cheek as you take in the condition of your body.

“My— my ankle… I think I twisted it when I fell, but I think I’m fine.” You say as the adrenaline wears off and an uncomfortable sting comes to your left ankle. You still stood on your heels effortlessly, though a growing tingle had started to spread from where the heel’s strap held onto your ankle.

“Okay. Thank you for answering.” Taehyung kisses your lips swiftly before he raises a hand to call for attention, and looks towards the direction of the venue. Paramedics and staff that were on standby were already walking down the carpet as your eyes even catch Jimin’s worried eyes skimming over both you and Taehyung. The medics were by your side in no time as the crowd around you disperse.

“She said that she might’ve twisted her ankle.” Taehyung says to the paramedics who nodded, though they didn’t signal him to let go just yet.

“Let’s go to the back to check for further injuries. The media is out of control.” A manager suggested to the paramedics who agreed.

“Can you walk?” Taehyung asks as you merely nodded before you were led to a private space behind the wall of the red carpet. Taehyung continued to support you as you took heavy steps in your heels.

The small space behind the backdrop wasn’t too spacious though it was enough to shield you as the paramedics opened a kit and let you sit down on a small plastic stool. Taehyung stood right beside you. Your fingers intertwine as your fingers meet the cold material of his promise ring, and that’s when it hits you.

“Sh-shit.” Your once dried cheeks had now turned wet again as you looked down to your hand and found all your fingers were bare from any jewelry.

“Shh… You’re fine, baby. You’re getting treated.” Taehyung rubs your head to help soothe you though your sobs start to grow as the paramedics ask you what’s wrong, though you only shook your head to dismiss them.

“Tae… I lost the— the ring. It— It must have fell when I—“

“It’s fine, baby. I can buy you a new one.” Taehyung reassures you, though you were inconsolable.

“Please, say something if this hurts Miss.” The medic speaks as she caresses the skin of your ankle. A yelp leaving your lips as the medics nodded and continued to assess your shin.

From the way your chest heaved with each sob and the way tears fell from your eyes, the medics couldn’t assess you properly though they made the best of the situation and made the decision to take you to the hospital.

“Taehyung, you need to get into the venue. The event is going to be delayed, but groups need to be inside the venue for security checks and safety.” His manager speaks as his head pops from the other side of the backdrop. A wheelchair strolling behind him as the medics explain to you that they were taking you to the hospital.

“What? I can’t leave her right now. Did you see what happened?!” Taehyung didn’t mean to raise his voice, though he couldn’t leave you right now. Perhaps you were physically okay, but that must have been mentally shocking and he wants to be there just to comfort you even if it doesn’t make a big difference.

“Yes, I did see. Everyone saw. And we don't know if there’s another sasaeng out there, so we need you to get in the venue now.” The manager said sternly, though Taehyung continued to ignore the orders.

He instead opted to help guide you to sit comfortably on the wheelchair. His finger grazing over red scratch marks on the skin of your forearm. He hadn’t seen those earlier, though he doubts the paramedics had missed it.

When they exited from behind the backdrop they were met with security guards escorting them to the road where the ambulance was parked. Taehyung walked alongside the wheelchair as the paramedic wheeled you to the ambulance. His manager followed a few paces behind.

You writhed with shame as you thought about all the news that could be written on this night alone and you hadn’t even entered the venue yet. You weren’t sure you could.

Taehyung was held back by his manager before he could enter the ambulance with you. His gaze in question and slight irritation as he was met by the face of their manager once more, though this time his members were walking out the venue in search of him.

“Kim Taehyung don’t go. For her sake. You can see her after, but right now we need you inside for the media's sake.” Their manager says more desperate now as he turns to meet your eyes that were inside the ambulance.

He was all too aware of the eyes watching both of you and he could tell that you were too. You gave him a slight nod as a sign that you’d be fine as he nodded more to himself and took a step back to be with his manager. For your sake, he wasn’t going to be with you right now. Not when the media would be having a frenzy already. For you, your company, and your reputation.

“Come on, get inside.” The manager nudged Taehyung to follow behind him as he kept his gaze down on the floor when a few cameras took pictures of him walking to the entrance.

A shiny piece of jewelry caught his attention as he bent down and found the promise ring he had given you last year. A promise ring that had caused you more tears than he wanted you to have.

“Come on, V.” Jimin says as he reaches out for Taehyung to accompany him in walking to the venue behind the rest of the members that flashed him pitiful looks.

“You did the right thing. She needed you, and you’ll see each other after this.” Jimin reassured, as Taehyung’s eyes began to sting from behind, though he tried to stop the emotions from showing in his eyes.

“They said it was a sasaeng?” Taehyung asked as the security guards opened the door for them and they entered the dark and cold doors of the big venue that the 21st Mnet Asian Music Awards would take place in.

“Apparently. I tried my best to eavesdrop and they said that the motive might’ve been because of your relationship. She was ARMY.” Jimin summarized everything he had heard as they both stopped in a dim hallway to wait for staff to open a door that led to the artist area.

“I still don’t get how she managed to walk past security, staff, and camera directors. How did she even have a gun?!” Taehyung was exasperated as the two ‘95 liners leaned against the padded walls. Taehyung leaned his head on Jimin’s shoulder as Jungkook came up to squeeze his shoulder.

“Is she okay? We heard guns were involved.” Jungkook asked as it was obvious that the rest of his bandmates were listening from behind the maknae.

“Yeah. She’s shaken up. Maybe even have a twisted ankle and a few scratches.” Taehyung says as his eyes zone out on the pattern of the carpet and his fingers play on the ring he held on his finger.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon shows himself from behind Jungkook as Taehyung simply nods.

The night had gone by like a blur. It was obvious to everyone watching that he was not as present as he should have been, though nobody blames him. The views of the event had skyrocketed after news broke out that an artist was attacked and yet the event continued on. Hashtags about the event and incident even went viral prior to the awards finishing because clips of Taehyung running towards you and escorting you to the ambulance had gone viral. It practically happened in front of everybody so it was bound to get posted, and technically no blood or gore had been shown so the content wasn’t blocked as quickly as both your companies and the event organizers wanted them to be.

Taehyung walks through the hospital hallways with paper bags of your favorite takeout food, your favorite drink, some spare clothes of his that you could change to in case your personal assistant didn’t bring good comfy clothes, and a small cake of your favorite flavor. He had made do with how late it was and how your favorite bakery was already closed.

It felt like deja vu once again. However, this time he wasn’t riding the elevator to your apartment but rather riding it to your hospital room.

Your absence from the event was so painstakingly obvious for him and everyone. He was jittery all night, and your group seemed so small when they occupied the stage for their performance. It was obvious that they had done last minute blocking, and the bactrack had been used for your solo parts. They seemed so small when they walked down the artist area and got to the stage to receive the Best Female Group award and the Best Female Group Dance Performance award. Your group wasn’t small in the sense that they had little members, though it felt like something was missing. Your big bubbly smile and your funny yet carefully worded speech was missing, and Taehyung could speak for everyone that your presence was greatly missed.

He had received a text from you as soon as the event ended and when he got his phone back. Your text contained your congratulations for him and his wins and performances. Jimin even showed Taehyung a message you sent that congratulated Jimin and the rest of BTS. It was certainly a good year for them, and you had grown closer towards your boyfriend’s close friend despite only interacting a few times.

You told him that he should probably visit later into the evening since your group would be visiting you after the event, though Taehyung didn’t listen and still went as fast as he could when ordering food.

He arrived at your hospital room at almost two in the morning and from what he could hear, your bandmates were still in your hospital room talking to you.

He knocked on the door and heard the girls quiet down as one of the members opened the door to see Taehyung standing in the middle of the hallway with his PA behind him holding the bag of clothes and box of cake.

“Hey, sorry to intrude on your celebrations but can I come see my girlfriend?” Taehyung says as a smile couldn’t help but creep up his face as his heart swells with pride with how he openly says that you were his girlfriend.

“Yah Y/Nah, your boyfriend is here.” The member smiled brightly as she opened the door wider to show you laying in the hospital bed with wide eyes from Taehyung’s early arrival. Your other bandmates had visibly smiled brighter when Taehyung entered the room.

“Good evening.” Taehyung greets as he places all of the paper bags on a nearby table and bows deeply to your bandmates.

“Congratulations on your wins and performance!”

All of your bandmates greet the same words as they bow just as deep to their sunbaenim.

“You should have told us Kim Taehyung sunbaenim was coming. We should’ve ordered more food for him—“ You leader speaks as you stay silent yet a small smiles lingers on your lips when Taehyung doesn’t let his eyes leave you.

“It’s okay. I brought some takeout to eat, and a cake to celebrate your wins.” Taehyung opens the small cake he had brought as his PA takes his leave and walks out the door.

“Oh V sunbaenim, thank you! We already had some cake, but I’m sure Y/N would love that. She barely ate anything tonight.” One of your members discloses as you send her a warning gaze as her face contorts into a look of apology.

Taehyung’s brown doe eyes met yours once more and this time it held the same worry it had earlier in the evening. You hated that. You hated seeing him worried over you, though at the same time it made you feel so cared for.

“We should probably get going. We need some rest and we can celebrate properly when you’re feeling better Y/N.” Your group’s leader says as they all excused themselves after they bid you well and congratulated Taehyung once more.

You were left in the silence of your hospital room with Taehyung at last. It felt like a decade just to get some time alone ever since the incident, and it felt like a reward to finally be alone together after the stressful night.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Taehyung asks as he comes towards the side of the bed to give you a kiss on your cheek.

“Not in the mood for it.” You say honestly because you really didn’t feel hungry, though Taehyung’s brow raised to doubt your answer.

“Come on, don’t let me eat all of this alone.” He says as your favorite food reaches your nose. The aroma turns the wheel of your appetite as Taehyung moves the table closer to the side of your bed.

“Seriously, Tae…”

“Please baby? Let me food you a few spoonfuls at least? It would help me feel better.” Taehyung asks as you nod willingly.

He opens up a container and grabs a wooden spoon to fill with the right amount of everything before guiding the spoon to your open mouth. The warmth of the food immediately landing in your stomach as a satisfied hum left you. Taehyung smiled at that and took his own bite with a smile.

“How’s your ankle?” He asks.

“It’s twisted, but it should heal well. I’ll be walking around with a brace, but it's not like we have a comeback coming.” You say as you move your leg from under the white blanket and show him the brace that keeps your ankle straight.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be here though. They said that I’m showing symptoms of an acute concussion, so it would be better to keep me under observation. That’s why I’m not really eating food right now. I don’t want to throw it up in case this does happen to be a concussion. ” You shrug as you eye the movie that showed on the TV.

Taehyung took your left hand in his and raised it to meet his lips. His breath grazing over your ring finger as you feel him slide a familiar metal back to its place.

“What— Woah! You found it!” You smile as you check the ring to truly see if it was the same ring he had given you a year ago. The same small dent that you had accidentally struck against the wall had grazed the design and you knew for a fact that it was the same ring you had worn as a promise.

“It’s kinda hard to miss. No wonder everyone saw it when we wore it.” Taehyung chuckles as he kisses your hand again before you pull him closer to you to kiss on the lips.

His usually soft lips still had some remnants of lipstick from the makeup of their performance. However, the surface wasn’t the soft flesh you’ve come to be familiar with. It was bitten and cracked in some places. Some skin was freshly peeled and others were dry and waiting for the time to be peeled. It was a sign that he had bitten them off prematurely as a coping mechanism from anxiety.

“I’m sorry, baby. I— I heard the fan was a sasaeng and I didn’t even try that hard to join you in the ambulance, but I— I didn’t want the media following and— and our companies… It’s not an excuse—“

“Tae, it’s not your fault.” You state sternly with your expression straight. You didn’t know where this reaction was coming from, but you had to shut down all those thoughts.

“She was a sasaeng— an ARMY…” Taehyung was teary eyed as he sat on the side of the bed with his hands wrapped around your waist as your arms rested on his shoulders.

“You can’t control them and you can’t control what our agencies tell us to do. Just like how they told us to keep some distance when we told them about our relationship. We can break what they say sometimes, but eventually we know we have to follow them. Like how we still kept on seeing each other and how you still had to join the event.” You explained as he nodded.

He was tongue tied or perhaps he didn’t have anything more to say. He just wanted to hold you and tell himself he did everything he could to prevent what happened and that at the end of the day you are fine with injuries that could be fixed. He wanted to kiss you and feel your skin against his. He wanted to breathe in your scent and feel your chest move with every inhale and exhale.

So he did just that. He laid beside you and brought your body down with him to embrace. Your skin against his as you both settle in a comfortable position.

“What if we weren’t idols?”

“Don’t say that Tae. We met because we were idols. We met because we wanted to study being idols and you saw me because you are a damn good idol.” You say as Taehyung laughs and kisses your cheeks.

“I know, but like what if we went away for a while. Just the two of us and some place we don’t know.” Taehyung proposes as you tilt your head to think over the idea as you signal him to continue his brewing thought.

“Just for a few days or a week. We deserve it after a long year. Besides, it’s my birthday soon.” Taehyung smiles brighter when he mentions his birthday as if you hadn’t been saving up for his birthday gift already.

“That does sound nice…”

“So it’s settled! New Year’s and my birthday in some place we don’t know! I’ll start planning it tomorrow.” Taehyung smiles as you laugh with him, but really he was planning on replacing your dented ring with a new one.

“Also I brought some clothes. I was wondering if I could sleep here tonight.” Taehyung asks as you smile and land a kiss on his lips.

“I was waiting for you to say that. My parents are visiting early in the morning though, so you better be up by then.” You both chuckle as he kisses you once more.

“Are you comfy in your clothes? I have your favorite sweater in the bag, and a coat in case you ever feel like having ice cream again.”

You chuckle as you slightly nudge his shoulder. This man truly was something else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY V!

And

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

[jiminsass-istant]

JIMIN'S HYPE BOY

I often think about the Festa 2022 dinner where Jimin talks about the new songs he was preparing for his album.(It was June'22 and Jimin had already started working on Face)

Jhope said he had listened to his songs and we had Jungkook pouting and complaining to Jimin for not sending his songs. Of course, all in good fun. But there was a hint of genuineness in JK's complaint, lol. And RM didn't miss this chance to say "jhope is #1 to jimin" or something along those lines. Which is true.

I have a theory why Jimin doesn't seek out JK for feedback on his work. Simply because Jungkook is heavily biased. I don't think Jungkook would critically criticise Jimin's work with brutal honesty. There are so many instances that will backup this theory:-

1. JK always having Jimin's back when members tease Jimin. He teases Jimin too, but when members do it, he chooses to take Jimin's side. It's always a reassuring touch, or just straight up defending.

2. Praises Jimin's cooking even when other members express distaste. Instances found in BV and Run BTS.

3. He even liked the cucumber drink Jimin got for everyone which others said was terrible (including Jimin). Now that could be JK's personal taste too.

Jungkook is very aware and conscious of Jimin's insecurities, I feel. And he knows how hard Jimin works. He doesn't have the heart to tell him where he lacks.

Meanwhile, jhope, rm or suga would do a better job of giving Jimin positive criticism and honest feedback.

[7ndipity]

Dating Jimin headcanons

Jimin x Reader

Warnings: swearing, lil suggestive, not proofread

A/N: I wrote about half of this at like three in the morning while playing the Face album on loop, send help lol

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Dating Jimin is sweet. In every sense of the word.

I remember reading somewhere where they described him as in love with being in love, and I thinks that's a great way to put it.

Like two of his favorite movies are The Notebook and Like Crazy, he's a sappy bitch(I mean, me too, but damn boi)

Another one who I could see being friends first? There's a certain level of trust that has to be there first before he'll let himself actually fall for someone.

Once he falls though, he falls HARD.

Dates would usually be more lowkey, like visiting different cafés or walks along the river.

Every now and then, though, he likes to pull out all the stops for something like a weekend getaway(remember when he planned that whole trip to Japan for him & JK so they could go to Disneyland?)

I think he would like taking classes with you, like the jewelry making vlog or the flying yoga Run! ep. He likes finding new hobbies to do together.

Calls you cute nicknames like "Love" and "Baby"(that one tends to be more of a whine tho)

Likes buying you lil gifts. Books, plushies,(*cough* matching couples rings).

Another Acts of Service king.

You need help with absolutely anything, he's there. Even if he has no clue wtf is going on, he's there to offer moral support.

Surprisingly shy about pda, at first.

Like, this mf would blush if you so much as held his hand for the first couple dates.

After that, however, Lord help you.

Texts you constantly.

"I miss you." "You only left like two minutes ago." "I still miss you🥺"

He lives for softness with you.

Just laying together in bed, talking for half the night is his idea of the perfect evening honestly.

Binge watching shows together and coming up with sub-plots for the characters that are, arguably, better than the main storyline.

He's said before that he's very protective of his friends and loved ones, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I put him on the Protective Squad.

Not exactly possessive, but gets jealous(and sulky) very easily.

He will slip up to you and not so subtly kiss you on the cheek or shoulder to regain your attention

So much side-eye, I swear, the Sass from this man-

He's a fucking tease. You know it, I know it, your grandma probably knows it.

Gets flustered by the littlest things though?

Like, he could've been all over you not ten seconds ago, but you brushing the hair out his face turns him into a red-faced mess.

Goes from loud to silent treatment when y'all fight(we've heard the stories from Tae and JK, he ices people out when he's mad) but crumbles if he even hears you crying.

Probably tells you he loves you for the first time after a fight, because it made him realize how scared he was to lose you(oh, I made myself sad)

The most reassuring bf ever. He knows what it's like to judge yourself over every little thing, but he will make sure you never forget a single one of your positives sides though.

In conclusion, he's wonderful and I'm very soft now, bye.

[roo-bastmoon]

Fanservice Couple Sucks at Fanservicing

Hmmm.

Jimin's Album: Here's a super secret hidden song "for the fans" with lyrics that mimic things Jimin said before specifically about Jungkook, with Jungkook providing background vocals that were never discussed when marketing the album, and listeners have to wait through dead air to get to hear the song and shine a light on the invisible lyrics engraved in the album and it's not uploaded onto Spotify or for digital sale because.... fanservice.

Jimin's Documentary: Here's less than two minutes of footage of Jungkook singing Letter; the film cuts away from Jikook's hug and doesn't interview Jungkook about it at all, and practically his entire face is covered when he's singing it; also, the paper he's holding is shaking like a leaf, unlike earlier in the day when he was recording for the World Cup, which was the biggest solo performance of his career at that time, because.... fanservice.

Jimin's Live Reaction: Here's Jimin lighting up like a Christmas tree when Jungkook quietly sneaks in the room to watch his live recording before going home; now watch as they awkwardly interact for two minutes--including a tiddy grab and butt smacking, on top of "I love you" and "have fun with ARMY!" but notice Jimin sends Jungkook away, instead of letting him mic up and sit on the chair and react with him, because... fanservice.

Jimin's Commentary: Here's Team Jimin reacting to every remote detail of the making of the documentary, except when it comes to Letter, in which case no one breathes the name Jungkook and he is never heard nor appears on screen, because... fanservice. gosh that sure is odd.

The fanservice isn't fanservicing.

It's almost how like, in their real lives when they aren't working, Jungkook watched all of Jimin's content, or Jungkook mumbled about how Jimin moved his lamp or mentioned Jimin kept coming up to him to say "periri," or how Jimin traveled to NYC and CT for Jungkook's debut and they filmed something but all Jungkook would say about it is "Yeah, he's in.... New York," and then Jimin posted a shirtless picture on Jungkook's birthday but never spoke on it, or how both Jimin and Jungkook just happened to find time to watch the same random anime, or how they went to Jeju together but we wouldn't have known if Tae hadn't posted photos, or how it is heavily implied that they spent Chuseok together based on the whale drawing that Jimin posted and the way Jungkook was quick to tell us that Jimin drew half of it.

Golly gosh, for a Fanservice Couple, it's almost like a bunch of stuff isn't being shared with us on purpose. But why?

Doxxed info? Tampered mail? Death threats? Press scandals? Global debut? Conservative homophobia? Military service?

Who knows, but "lack of genuine closeness" doesn't seem to be the driving reason.

I'm not gonna sit here and scream conspiracy theories about a "private couple." Jimin lives like a hermit much of the time and Jungkook is running around with his same-age friends quite a bit these days.

So as I always say--I cannot tell you that Jikook are dating. I can only tell you we have solid evidence of unique, charged chemistry between them--and tons of hints that they spend more time together than they let us in on. That's it. If there's more, we aren't getting to see it.

And I don't blame anyone who takes the stance "I'll believe it when I see it." I think a fair amount of skepticism and a dedication to the just the facts is a healthy mindset.

But it really makes my teeth itch when Jikook are accused of doing fanservice for the cameras, cause...

Where the hell is all my fanservice?? *grabby hands* WHERE?

Why is it that even TWO SECONDS of them interacting is so charged and fraught that it gets the entire fandom frothing at the mouth?

Jikook DO spend time together but they aren't running onto WeVerse to share it with us all the time, ya know? It leeks out little by little. And that makes it even MORE suspicious than just two bros hanging out in broville doing bro things.

In summary: This Fanservice Couple *sucks* at fanservice in solo era for sure.

[bts-trans]

230710 J-Hope's Letter to Jimin in [EPISODE] 지민 (Jimin) ‘FACE’ Music Show Promotions Sketch

Letter Translation: To. Jimin

Jimin-ah, you've worked so hard during these promotions!! I think this album is even more meaningful because it's your own solo album I feel like it's an album that really makes you excited for what Jimin as an artist will bring in the future! They say that in this world, great things cannot be accomplished without passion. Even if you have to go through countless trials and pain, don't forget the 'passion' you feel right now and I hope you'll continue to show us really cool things in the future as well I'm always cheering you on

Your hope

Trans cr; Aditi & Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

[seoul-bros]

Muse - an exploration of love

It now seems clear that Face and Muse were recorded in parallel, overlapping and intertwining. It's a situation which creates a thread of connection between the two albums.

It's largely the same production team as FACE with Jimin again participating in writing most of the tracks on the album. He has also turned his hand to producing on Rebirth and Interlude: Showtime.

Track 1: Rebirth

The first track seems connected to and leading on naturally from Set Me Free Part 2. Thinking back to the end of the MV where Jimin's clothes change from black to white, from leather to softer materials and his gaze is at last peaceful and penetrating, it all seeks to communicate release, reemergence and renewal.

Rebirth therefore is the moment beyond, when Jimin determines to embrace life and love again. It could be a declaration of intent to start telling the story of Muse.

Track 2: Interlude: Showtime

Which would make Showtime, the first step to embracing that new found freedom. It's an Interlude sure, but I keep getting a very theatrical image in my head, very bold, very Cabaret (if you're in London, I recommend you see the show).

Track 3: Smeraldo Garden Marching Band (feat. Loco)

We will get to hear Smeraldo Garden Marching Band in less than a week (aggggghhhhhhhh i'm not ready ......but at the same time so so ready). The track description says it "draws inspiration from a marching band, blending hip-hop elements with the big band sound characterized by a large-scale orchestra, creating an upbeat, lively rhythm and dynamic atmosphere." This gives me a stepping up, stepping out kind of feel.

Given the focus on The Beatles and St Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band during Face era and the involvement of Nick Lee in Set Me Free Part 2, I'm expecting more big brass and a full sound which Jimin seems to be drawn to - brass and choirs all the way baby.

I'd also expect to see some choreography here something like On but that might be asking too much.

South Korean rapper Loco is the featured artist. Looking through his back catalogue one of his most successful songs featured RM's long time collaborator Colde. It'll be interesting to see how their voices and styles combine here.

Track 4: Slow Dance (feat. Sofia Carson)

With Slow Dance, the seduction really begins. Arcades are Matt Thomson and Max Lynedoch Graham, a British electronic music production duo who we saw in the studio with Jimin in 2022 along with Gabriel Brandes and Alex Karlsson. Now we know what they were doing there.

Also involved in this one is Like Crazy co-writer BLVSH. Oh yes this bodes very well for this track.

So we're thinking EDM, maybe with a Latin feel. Sofia Carson has a unique voice which I think will pair well with Jimin and she has also been known to sing in Spanish and we know after SoWooZoo that Jimin is not adverse to that.

Track 5: Be Mine

Be Mine is still a bit of a mystery to me, given its placement on the album it would suggest that Jimin has found the objective of his affections and wants to solidify the attraction into something more. Will it be a ballad? The production is giving no clues and I haven't seen any credits yet. However, some eagle eyes on TwiX spotted a Be Mine reference from ID: Chaos.

Track 6: Who

This is the main track and the production team includes Jon Beillon who worked on last year's summer smash Seven so we can expect some focus on elements for commercial success.

There are more echos of ID:Chaos with he colour scheme for Who matching that from the Freedom shoot. It would be nice to think that Who reflects that particular sentiment i.e. this is who I am and knowing this has set me free to live and love as I choose.

Track 7: Closer Than This

We round out with Closer Than This which given its position on the album and the way it was previously released solidifies the message, this is me until we meet again. Our love is strong enough to weather the storm of this enforced separation. It is a message for the fans but also for the BTS members.

Post Date: 21/06/2024

[featjunranghae]

BSF!TXT WHEN YOU REVEAL YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH

idol txt X bsf reader who they have a crush on

choi yeonjun:

Not really jealous, but boy will be sulky on purpose.

Will tease you endlessly.

Suga hyung and i filmed a challenge together. Does that make you feel jealous?

Suga hyung called me cute. How does that make you feel?

Will get you signed album tho.

Tsk. Guess I'm just too kind.

choi soobin:

You like Jungkook hyung? Let's go to his concert together.

Boy won't think too much about it until he sees you staring at Jungkook for a bit too long

Jeez yn. Hyung will get creeped out.

That's what he said. But in his mind he just doesn't want you staring for too long.

Will regret taking you to the concert.

Will regret it even more when he sees you interact with Jungkook backstage.

I'm never taking you to another concert. [he will]

choi beomgyu:

Sulky boy pt 2

You have eyes for other men?!

Will whine about it to everyone.

Yeonjun hyung, she likes Jimin hyung. Jimin hyung. I'm nothing beside him.

You want a signed album? That boy will buy you another txt album but will never give you a signed album.

Oh your album? Jimin hyung is so busy, you know. You can have a signed txt album tho-

Will give Jimin the side eye every time he sees him (poor jimin didn't even do anything)

Kang Taehyun

Will act nonchalant.

You like Taehyung hyung? I get it. He's handsome.

Will be sweating when he sees you laughing a bit too hard at one of Taehyung's jokes when you finally see him at the HYBE building while hanging out with the txt boys.

"He's not even that funny."

You want a signed album? Hyung and I aren't really that close. [liar]

Will get you a signed album but will profusely hope so that you don't get a Taehyung pc.

You got a Jin hyung pc. Don't be sad he's so handsome as well.

Will regret buying that album when he sees you putting the pc on the back of your phone.

Huening Kai:

Please don't do this to him. He will be so insecure.

But that won't stop him from getting you an album and taking you to Jhope's concerts and fan signing events.

Kai Just wants to see you happy.

"Oh Kai, is this your partner?" Hobi asked making the poor boy flustered.

We're just friends.

Hobi won't say anything but the smile on his face would say it all.

"Our Huening is such a good boyfriend- Friend I meant. Right yn?"

Now he's got another hyung on his back on top of the members who will tease him about his crush.