#fcg and ashton are right behind

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digital illustration of Fresh Cut Grass and the rest of Bell's Hells, including Bertrand Bell and Dorian Storm, and FRIDA. Fresh Cut Grass is in the centre of the image, looking at the viewer and waving with their left hand. In their right hand they hold up their Changebringer coin, near to a red and white light coming from their core. Rainbow beams emerge from behind FCG, centred behind his head. In these beams are, from bottom left to bottom right going clockwise, Betrand Bell, Imogen Temult, Laudna, Ashton Greymoore, FRIDA (who is centred at the top), Fearne Calloway, Orym, Dorian Storm, and Chetney Pock O'Pea. All of them are smiling and looking towards FCG. Sparkles are drawn on the rainbow beams and a small heart is drawn next to FRIDA. End description.]

Smiley day to ya!

[rucksackmentality]

List of the truths shared in Nana Morri's Honesty trial (C3E79):

Imogen: I am genuinely scared to meet my mom again.

Laudna: Deep down inside, both Delilah and I want the shard...Fearne should have it, but I don't know anymore what's my opinion or desires or feelings, or hers.

Imogen: I love Laudna deeply but I'm disgusted at the thought of Delilah looking at us all the time.

Orym: I'm super lonely all the time, especially at night. It doesn’t matter if I'm bunking with one of you guys.

FCG: Sometimes I pity some of you because you have beating hearts and opportunities and you don’t do enough with them...Chetney, you have so much love to give and it doesn't seem like you're interested in anything other than wood! There's people out there who you could love and experiences you could share with someone else, but all you care about is wood!

Orym: I've always kind of laughed it off but I guess I do kind of wonder if Chetney is my dad.

Ashton: I am the reason that the Jiana Hexum robbery went fucking wrong, and the reason why I got thrown out of a fucking window.

Fearne: I feel like we’re very ill-equipped for this job and we're going to fail at saving the world. (Laudna: Honestly that's probably true, I'm right there with you.)

Chetney: While wood may be the superior material to metal, I do fear that, with the dwindling interest in it, that children will find my toys - and thereby myself - obsolete every year I grow older.

FCG: I think it's something buried deep down in my circuitry, but every time I hurt or kill something - it feels really good. It makes me sort of relax a little bit and some of my stress goes away.

Imogen: I know we're supposed to save the gods, but I've tried talking to them my whole life and none of them would ever respond. I think I'm tainted. I dont know if I want to save gods that don't love me.

Laudna: You know we could rip-cord out of [saving the world] at any moment...right? And sometimes I fantasize about it all the time.

Fearne: I sometimes do stuff to you guys while you're sleeping - not weird stuff, I just like to look at you closely...and maybe like, twiddle your hair or braid it. Nothing bad!

Ashton: Whenever it starts to get quiet, I start worrying that one of us - most of us - are going to end up killing another one of us accidentally...I have panicked thinking about when one you kills another one of us.

Orym: I have all the faith in the world in you guys...and I have also spent time thinking of how to neutralize each of you.

FCG: I kinda worry that I put all my eggs in the Changebringer basket and she might betray us all. I had a really weird conversation with her and I think she's just out for herself and she might not really care about me - but what if she does? And I'm saying horrible things?

Imogen: Fearne, I was really disappointed in you for running away from your power. You should take the shard!

Orym: I really miss Dorian, and sometimes I think that's okay, and sometimes I think it isn't.

Ashton: I feel fucking worse that I just fucked up Fearne's life way more than mine and I should've died instead of that happening.

Chetney: I grew up in the Bramblewood outside of Westruun, and when I was a kid, I came back from learning how to make toys and found that my whole family had left. All they left behind were toys. They ran when Errevon the Rimelord was running across the plains, and so I'm kind of afraid of dragons. And I had five siblings - Alabaster, Pepper, Sugarplum, Hermey, and Chad - and I was so mad that they left I never looked for any of them, and now I'm pretty sure they're dead. So I think any family I have is just gonna look for a reason to leave me. That's why I don't get attached to anybody.

[pocketgalaxies]

fcg: i enjoy eating silver more than copper

imogen: i am genuinely scared to meet my mom again

chet: it is well known that wood is better than metal

laudna: deep down inside, both delilah and i kind of want the shard

laudna: i don't want [the shard], fearne should have it, but i don't know anymore what's my opinion or desires or feelings or [delilah's]

imogen: i love laudna deeply, but i'm disgusted at the thought of delilah looking at us all the time

orym: i'm super lonely all the time, especially at night. doesn't matter if i'm bunking with one of you guys

fcg: sometimes i pity some of you because you have beating hearts and opportunities and you don't do enough with them

fcg: chetney you have so much love to give and it doesn't seem like you're interested in anything, in ANYTHING, other than wood. there's people out there who you could love and experiences you could share with someone else, but all you care about is wood

orym: i've always laughed it off but i guess i do kinda wonder if chetney is my dad

ashton: i am the reason that the jiana hexum robbery went fucking wrong and the reason why i got thrown out of a fucking window

ashton: (laudna: is that why you feel like you deserved to have the nobodies leave you?) yeah.

fearne: i feel like we are very ill-equipped for this job and we're gonna fail at saving the world

chet: while wood may be the superior material to metal, i do fear that with the dwindling interest in it that children will find my toys and thereby myself obsolete every year that i grow older

fcg: i think it's something buried deep down in my circuitry, but every time i hurt or kill something, it feels really good. it makes me sorta relax a little bit and some of my stress goes away

imogen: i know we're supposed to save the gods but i've tried talking to them my whole life and none of them will ever respond. i think i'm tainted. i don't know if i want to save gods that don't love me

laudna: you know we could all ripcord out of this at any moment, and i don't mean this scavenger hunt, i mean saving the world, right? andsometimesifantasizeaboutitallthetime

fearne: sometimes i do stuff to you guys while you're sleeping. not weird stuff, i just like to look at you closely and...you know, just look at you. you look so content and comfortable and i can get up and look at you really well. and maybe twiddle your hair and like braid it. nothing bad! nothing bad!!

ashton: any time it's too quiet, i start worrying that one of us, most of us, are gonna end up killing another one of us accidentally. all of us. orym...very gently, but probably–orym may be the only one i worry about the least, but genuinely everybody else. i have panicked thinking about what happens when one of you kills another one of us

orym: (laudna: do you have any strong feelings one way or another kind of being the normal guy in a group of freaks who are all ticking time bombs? are you okay with that, do you have any strong feelings?) i have all the faith in the world in you guys, all of you. and i have also spent time thinking how to neutralize each of you

fcg: i kinda worry that i put all my eggs in the changebringer basket and she might betray us all, i had a really weird conversation with her and i think she's just out for herself and she might not really care about me

imogen: fearne, i was really disappointed in you for running away from your power, you should take the shard (laudna: you should take the shard)

orym: i really miss dorian, and sometimes i think that's okay and sometimes i think it isn't

pate: [laudna] is my creator, i don't have feelings, i'm a construction

ashton: i feel fucking worse that i just fucked up fearne's life way more than mine, and i should've died instead of that happening

chet: i grew up in the bramblewood outside of westruun, and when i was a kid, i came back from learning how to make toys and found that my whole family had left. all they left behind were toys. and they ran when errevon the rimelord was running across the plains so i'm kinda afraid of dragons. and i had five siblings, alabaster, pepper, sugarplum, hermey, and chad, and i was so mad that they left, i never looked for any of them. and now i'm pretty sure they're dead, so i think that any family i have is just gonna look for a reason to leave me, that's why i don't get attached to anybody

[pawthorn]

I love what an asshole Ashton really is.

Because they look around at this group they’re in and say that no one in it knows loneliness like they do.

They say this to Laudna, who was alone for decades.

And in their party is Orym, a widower; Imogen, who pulled away from everyone because of her powers; Chetney, who we know had a lot of time wandering alone; Fearne, left behind by her parents; and FCG, unique among automatons and rejected by their creator.

And Ashton says, you don’t know what I know.

But then we get to the crux of it.

“What was it like for them to be there when you woke up?”

It’s that loneliness that the others don’t know.

To be in a group just like Bell’s Hells. A group that you love and trust. People who help shape your identity, because none of you had one, and at least you can be Nobodies together.

And you give everything for them, and they leave, and you spend years of your life making things right for them, and they never come back.

And that’s what Ashton thinks he knows. That the people in this group could leave him at any moment. That no matter how close they are or what they go through together, eventually they will choose to save themselves and leave him.

I think Ashton would like to trust the group. I think they long to feel that safety and connection again.

And so he’s jealous.

The rest of the group doesn’t know what Ashton knows.

That he will always be left behind. He will always end up alone.

[shorthaltsjester]

chetney’s “i don’t understand what happened… i thought fearne was gonna take it? what happened?!?!”

imogen yelling “what did you do?!?” and casting telekinesis trying to hold ashton together as their body breaks beneath her magic. casting watery sphere and watching it turn to steam as she casts it. her mage hand futilely unbuckling the straps of the harness to get it away, to try and separate ashton from the choice he made without them.

fearne, making another agreement to watch someone she cares for die, another promise to do what’s right when the time comes. burning her hands on ashton’s body as she refuses to stop healing him, keeping up an aura to drag their dying body back to life over and over.

laudna staring on, helpless as she stands at the top of ziggurat haunted by the same woman who haunts her, watching ashton break into pieces.

fcg approaching to help and being seared with the heat emanating from ashton, desperately calling out to the changebringer to save ashton, getting no response.

orym looking on, a 19 perception check to tell him that ashton is dying before his eyes. seedling grasping out desperately to help in the only futile way that a fighter with no arcane nor divine ability can.

bell’s hells as this group of people who have had lives made up of choices that feel meaningless, that have been futile, that have left them ‘npcs’ in other people’s stories. and doing everything that shouldn’t work, that doesn’t work in an effort to save their friend ashton.

ashton, who laid broken on the ground because of their old friends who left them behind. ashton, breaking before the eyes of this new group of weirdos, of family. who survives because (of very lucky dice roles) imogen hears them in trouble and runs back up the zigguraut, and the rest of the party follows. because fcg and fearne will keep him anchored to this world even if only 70% of their body remains whole. ashton who shouldn’t have survived, who all the hells watched die and get shattered into pieces and then come back together.

very very excited to see where the hell this takes our group of self sacrificing weirdos

[arclundarchivist]

That was a really good episode.

Ashton finally got knocked off their high horse and realized that he is the source of a good chunk of the problems in his life not others. I’m actually excited to see where his character goes from here, because before *he thought he was always right* and now that concept has utterly been slapped from his mind.

The Shard remains unclaimed, his powers partially awoken.

Laudna is legit worrying me, regressing to Matilda, I’m kind of hoping Imogen approaches Morri about Delilah. But you can still see her refusing whst Delilah wants, and her not being sure how to deal with it. “Why would you believe I would do the same thing?” And the *pinnacle* of selfish desire Delilah Briarwood just being *unable* to figure out how to rebuke that.

And while I’m not super stoked about the Moon getting pushed back again, Morri’s little monologue has me *deeply* intrigued.

Fearne’s mother trucked in dark poses which seemingly shaped her “heritage/fate” and I’m curious to see how that shakes out, and if with encouragement from her Grandmother Fearne may finally take a step forward on her path.

MVP of the episode though, Chet, Travis put in a lot of good character work, him comforting Fearne and directly challenging Ashton was great, and FCG/Sam wasn’t far behind, “Do you actually care about anyone?”

Not sure if the Reunion revived them, but I *hope* this momentum sticks.

[thisisnotthenerd]

had some more thoughts about bell's hells current party structure

making a note: i think a lot of this stuff is consistent with the characterization thus far and i'm talking about it purely on a character level rather than including the players.

right now, especially since they're now together, imogen and laudna have made a point of prioritizing each other. they are each other's first points of contact, and they've been sticking to a united front of accepting power in the form it comes in and supporting each others' decisions in this respect. the fact that they have that rapport makes whatever they jointly say stronger in the group context, just by having multiple voices behind one course of action. sometimes others in the group agree or disagree, but never as unilaterally as the sorcerers.

i think part of the problem with trust in the party is that imodna notably have trust issues and at the same time are trying to guide how others in the group behave. they've been pushing the hardest on giving fearne the shard and having her 'accept her power'. when the others have talked about it with her, there's been more consideration of what fearne wants and her perception of what the shard will do. at the same time, laudna is actively opening up to delilah again, and felt so betrayed by ashton that she fully regressed. imogen berated ashton and is getting rid of the thing that is preventing scrying and protecting her from incursion so that she can open her mind to read thoughts again and predict what everyone is going to do. there's a pattern of them leaning into their darker impulses and now they're pushing fearne to do the same.

they talked about orym being the only normal guy in a group of time-bombs. what's notable is that the chetney and fcg have actively worked on maintaining control, fearne is avoiding the possibility with everything in her, and ashton blew up and learned from the experience. there's a split in how they are dealing with power that i think is going to be a point of contention especially as they decide what to do with the shard. who knows if they'll even have it--maybe morrigan will take it for her collection.

i'm hoping that the trust exercise next week isn't going to turn into a bloodbath, not the least because these two have some of the rawest edges when it comes to trust. obviously the source of the trust issues is not solely imogen and laudna. it wouldn't be party-wide if it was. but what are they going to do if delilah emerges during it and makes a grab for the magic items/shard while they're all suspicious. frankly, what are they going to do if imogen starts making mental incursions and doesn't like what she sees.

everyone else either has a handle on it or doesn't have gas in the tank to blow up right now. maybe fcg depending on how the stress points are doing. but still.

[its-your-mind]

fuckin shit I'm just so glad Dorian's back!! he just slots back in so easily bc he was there when they started and he's been a lingering part of them this whole time! he was the one who Chetney started tormenting first when he first joined up! and none of the rest of them are as fun to torment for him as dorian has always been for both chet AND ashton. ash just gets to be dumb and joke at dorian because dorian always takes it with grace but also is kinda a shit about it. imogen of COURSE noticed Dorian’s new look, because the two of them have ALWAYS been on the same page about the importance of how you choose to show yourself to the world, and BOY OH BOY she can get up to so much more charisma mischief now that her partner-in-lies is back. and laudna has immediately started once again delightedly horrifying him with her various dead things and he is delighted and ALSO horrified bc he loves her so much and fearne who LOVES HIM and finally has one of her people BACK WHERE SHE CAN SEE HIM which is so so important and good. and of course ORYM. Orym is smiling and he seems more relaxed and I know he loves all of the Hells so very much but like. ya know how when you've been away from Your Person for a long time and then they're there again and it's like you finally are able to be relaxed? and it doesn't matter how safe and relaxed you were before, because there was always something missing and then all of a sudden it's not missing anymore and everything is just. better. and something that’s been tight inside of you finally loosens. because your world was wrong, and now it’s all right again. and so Orym is less tense, he’s taking up more physical space, his smiles come faster, his laughs come easier, his emotions aren’t set on a four second delay behind his duty and so they show on his face as he’s feeling them.

and yes, everything is horrible. fcg should be here for this. dorian has just lost so much, and he’s coming to tell fearne and orym that they’ve lost people too. but at the same time…

all of that is easier to bear. because they’re together again. there is still an empty hole where fcg should be, but at least it’s not side-by-side with the space the Hells have been holding open as they waited for the winds of fate to finally guide their bard back where he belonged.

[topaz-mutiny]

I think the fans are underestimating how differently people can process things.

I am consistently seeing posts say "Ashton/Tal were repeatedly warned the shard was not for them/will 100% kill them", when this was absolutely not the case, and, more importantly, it is very likely for groups of people to completely misinterpret the warnings. Even if they've known each other and loved each other for a decade.

I certainly thought the warnings were not clear or frequent enough so I was shocked like lightning in the latest episode that they were meant to be absolute death flags.

Please note that I'll mostly refer to the fictional characters, I don't want to bring the people behind the characters too much into this.

First, I would like to point out, the show takes place over weeks and months with plenty of breaks and interruptions. That is plenty of time and opportunity for memories to get faded, muddled, crossed-over with other memories, etc.

The "warnings" happened two weeks to a month ago. And even when they were fresh on the cast's mind, here are the warnings verbatim (bold is my emphasis):

But be warned, holding the strength of the two in one vessel might sunder it. You bear the dormant strength of the empress. Find and bestow the might of the emperor.

- Evontra'vir, episode 74, aired October 5th. The conversations move on to unrelated things with no followup.

Ashton: He also said it might be dangerous for these two shards to intermingle. Or he didn't say dangerous, he said that-- it could destroy me. Orym: --A chance the vessel could break. Laudna: --The vessel <air quotes> could break. Fearne: Wasn't there something if you put them together with the right thing that it'll be okay? Ashton: It might come together and be okay, yeah. -- Dancer: Maybe if it were to meet one of its own ilk, it could awaken. Allura: What you said as a point of warning likely is true. To have both within a singular vessel, it's possible one could survive, but it's also highly possible that it would rend you into a thousand pieces. -- Allura: We're in a strange area of experimentation and unknown knowledge. -- (after finding out Ashton has a fascimile of a Luxon beacon in their brain) FCG: So he's got two things in him or them? Allura: It would seem, which is why I'm a bit--Well, you're either the greatest weapon we could hope for in this time, or will be our end. I couldn't tell you. Orym: Boy, maybe we don't add a third thing. Ashton: I was put together by bits and pieces. This was not an intentional thing and it, I honestly shouldn't have survived it. It was, literally, I was put together with junk. Allura: In an odd way, your fragmented nature might be what keeps all of this in check. ... Perhaps we don't put another powerful entity within your form.

- Various, episode 76, aired October 19th.

To me, these warnings were not clear in the slightest.

To me, these warnings were interspersed with so many words like "possible", "might", and "chance" that I completely misinterpreted the situation as "For Ashton it is dangerous but doable" instead of "The Game Master is telling you Ashton's character sheet will be ripped up."

This is the problem with using in-character voices and using descriptors that imply chance or flexibility. They can drastically weaken the meaning of a phrase such that people like me will mistake it for something else.

Because that's how my brain works. "May", "chance", "perhaps" suggest to me a reasonable set of odds for an action and does not come across as the grave warning a game master would want.

And as a reminder, these muddled warnings were weeks apart and weeks away, which can make remembering the meaning even worse if you've already misinterpreted them. That's why I was 100% on board with Ashton taking the shard. It seemed reasonable but dangerous, so when Matt said "I warned you." in that grave tone and with that grave look I was thrown for a loop. I went "oh no! those were serious warnings!?" and the panic started setting in.

Also a contributing factor was the pressure and lack of communication from Bells Hells.

Fearne did not want the shard, and finally stated that thought aloud to Ashton. For Fearne and Ashton, that meant the only choice left was Ashton, because, for one reason or another, the 5 other people in Bells Hells repeatedly assumed and pushed the shard onto Fearne and wrote themselves out of the equasion. FIVE characters absolved themselves of being active participants. Once the idea of Fearne came to mind and this Emperor Fearne/Empress Ashton/Callowmoore shipping dicotomy, Bells Hells just stopped talking about it and never once considered if any of them should take the shard should Fearne refuse.

So... yeah that's how my brain works.

[utilitycaster]

I've gotten a couple replies of "and that's terrifying" on this post about the more stable members of Bells Hells, and, to be honest, hate that, so let's talk about it.

There's a couple reasons. The first that I still don't know who the fuck thought the Issylra half of the party split would be Team Levelheaded and not Team Abandonment Issues, because, well, it's the latter. The second is that there's been a near constant undercurrent from quite early in the campaign of "oh Orym...he's going to break...he's a powder keg" and while he's decidedly not a powder keg, we did get him finally breaking a bit, and suddenly everyone's like "HORRIFYING that the guy I kept claiming was uniquely angsty is now having a harder time with the party split than the other characters whose equally tragic backstories I've consistently ignored, diminished, and dismissed."

All three of the Bells Hells characters in Team Issylra have issues related to loneliness and being left behind, which is a common thread through the party, but notably, Fearne, FCG, and Chetney being more stable should not be surprising nor scary. Resilience isn't tied to whether or not you're somewhat chaotic, or have mechanically-induced loss of control, and that's what we're talking about here. The reason why Team Issylra is having a rough time of it - and specifically why Laudna and Orym are falling apart whereas Ashton is doing comparatively well - is because they've been constantly pretending things are okay. Chetney, meanwhile, genuinely does think the worst thing that happened to him fucking rules, and has the age and perspective and sheer survival instincts to pull through; FCG has, within the story, had to face some horrifying realizations about himself and so has some tools for this kind of situation; and Fearne is to be honest still learning that consequences are a thing that happens, but she has dealt with a few profound disappointments and is sitting with them - she openly admitted she's not terribly impressed by her parents.

On the other hand, I think Orym has worked through the earlier stages of grief, to be sure, but he's put a brave face on over it and tried to look at the bright side. Which isn't the worst idea, but it means when the things he's built that idea of a bright side upon - Keyleth's infallibility, his relationships within the Crown Keepers - are nowhere to be found, he doesn't have anything to take hold of. He adjusted to one devastating change by clinging to the constants, and now that many of the constants are gone too, he has no mechanism to process the change in their absence.

And this is Laudna's whole deal, right? I do in fact agree that her initial death was still the worst thing that's happened to her so far, but that doesn't mean she can't still be incredibly upset by major events. It's comforting to know you've survived worse, but it doesn't necessarily help you actually get through a slightly less terrible (but still pretty terrible) situation. She says she can't stop compartmentalizing or she'll cry - but like, she'd probably feel better if she'd just spent the second watch crying. Like Orym, Laudna's developed this idea that she can will things into being okay, and in the end, she can't. Leaning into the "Today SUCKS" attitude would, honestly, help her, and I'm hoping she does so.

Ashton meanwhile doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but they do have coping mechanisms that work in this situation (namely, drinking and hitting things). He also, more importantly, has no investment in pretending things are okay. Ashton thinks the world is full of utter bullshit that will fuck you over, and the point is to get through it, and sure, it's a very cynical mindset, but there's a reason why toxic positivity is, well, toxic.

As a sidebar, I also think that Ashton has, fascinatingly and despite their drunken talk with Laudna on the skyship, put their abandonment issues into perspective. Ashton is able to handle the current situation because, logically, they were teleported to a random location beyond their control and with no capacity to contact other people, so it's reasonable to assume the other half of the party is in the same position. No one abandoned anyone. To quote Ashton themself, actually, from episode 25, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." On the other hand, the fact that Milo saved Ashton makes that particular situation worse. If Ashton had been left to die in the street and a random uninvolved stranger picked him up? Then you can at least imagine the Nobodies had to leave, or couldn't pick them up for whatever reason, or even perished themselves. The fact that Milo was able to make this choice means the Nobodies also had the ability to make a choice, and the choice was to leave them behind, and that's what stings, and that's the unique loneliness, and that's why this situation isn't comparable.

So anyway, in summary, it's unsurprising the two people who have handled grief and tragedy by trying to quietly (in Orym's case) and not-so-quietly (in Laudna's) smooth it over are finding themselves completely unable to do so and barely holding together, whereas the people who allow themselves to be upset or, frankly, just go apeshit, are doing much better.

[dizegamble]

I need to talk about how important it is that bells hells might finally be getting the opportunity to process and cope with the grief and loss they all carry for a minute

up until zephrah, they haven’t had the opportunity to process anything without having to worry about the solstice or finding their way back to each other. i really, really hope— i also feel good about it— this will be an arc for just that; to allow themselves to be vulnerable in various ways

ashton realizing that they are more than something broken, something that was left behind and broken. fcg being told that he is more than just the helper of the group; they’re a person who deserves to be supported just like everyone else

and i hope this eventually makes its way through the entire party; imogen and being the center of all of this + losing laudna. laudna dying twice, losing imogen, delilah, killing bor’dor. orym and will, derrig, zephrah, the weight it all must weigh on him. chetney witnessing people live and die right in front of his eyes, the fear of hurting the party once again. fearne and her parents, being forcibly separated from her best friend for days…

i cant wait

[fjorests-of-wildemount]

I'm freaking losing it over Ashton right now. Ashton who said he would've left himself behind, too. Swearing to Imogen they are going to do whatever it takes to bring her back. Fiercely, loyally, *honestly* without the bullshit.

Ashton has friends now. Not just FCG, but a whole family. Who recognizes what this loss means to Imogen. Who wouldn't have turned back, not so long ago.

"I used to be soft, once."

[rainbowanimation]

What destroyed me was Ashton grappling FCG and just going “that’s enough buddy” THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!? THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS EVERYTHING???

And then Ashton continuing to defend Letters afterward, practically growling at Fearne to heal him, sticking up for them at every moment he could, getting visibly upset when the others made comments they thought would upset him. Their friendship, while the moments few and far between, is my favorite thing about this campaign.

Also shout out to Laudna and Imogen. Laudna for feeling horrible for nearly taking out Letters all by herself, it’s okay Laudna we love you! And to Imogen for always being right behind Ashton in caring for FCG.

Someone please get this therapy robot some therapy. And a hug.

[unicyclehippo]

Cinnamon

the reunion is noisy, confusing, bloody, harsh, fractured in the manner of the world now. ashton yells, their voice a crack of triumphant thunder. fcg is a whir of blade and shining metal and—legs? orym smiles, for the first time in days, certainly. weeks, perhaps. she can’t recall how long, only that she has missed it. chetney is himself, and then half of himself as the wolf splits his chest and lunges out to crunch jaws around the head of the elongated red threat.

imogen.

at the sight of her, the fractured world regains an anchor. there may be a rift in the world, there may be an egg-cracked moon, their compasses may spin and turn, untethered, but laudna needs none of that when imogen is back where she can see her.

laudna cries black tears and the roots of her dreadful form creak, wrapping around her skull, following the same path. it makes a spectacle of her, and it’s own hunger, forms a crown of creeping roots that tangles in her hair and branches shoot out, soot-black, scorched, jagged and tearing across the soft grey of the afternoon sky.

they fight. they win. there are hugs and drinking and food and safety, or what passes for it these days—a flood of information gathered about the encroaching danger and everything they had missed, separated—lightning lizards as big as a fuckin’ sky ship—oh shit what happened to xandis d’you think—these pits in the fucking ground, right, and cliffs like fucking knives and it steams up burned the shit out of me look at my fucking elbow it’s half fucking melted—saved a sacred bull—killed an angel of the dawn father—run that by me again you did what now?—ran—climbed—lost a goddamn nail but orym was a peach and found it for me—fought—fought—fought—prayed—bled screamed killed searched cried fought—

‘but you have reconnected now,’ FCGs friend (companion?) commented, with a gentle lilt to their tone. ‘i have no love of the gods, but to borrow a word of theirs, i find that to be miraculous.’

‘yeah. yeah, you’re right, FRIDA,’ FCG nodded. ‘it is pretty miraculous, isn’t it? don’t they have such a way with words?’

they held hands. ashton, who had been glaring mildly at FRIDA since they were first introduced, continued to glare. it was, laudna thought, rather nice of him to be so welcoming to FCGs new companion.

‘yeah,’ ashton grunted. ‘they’re super.’

FCG beamed.

‘and this must be your laudna,’ someone said, and laudna looked over to see an armoured gnome, dark of skin and bright of smile. she directed her words to imogen—who stood a scant centimetre from laudna’s side, who had entangled her mind and hands with laudna and would not let her go—don’t leave, no not ever, missed you, missed you, looked for you, searched, ache behind the eyes searched empty, spoke to you, screamed, looked for you, messages on messages static in the head searching reaching out empty empty empty longing hollow stay here stay with me in me of me—

‘my laudna,’ imogen agrees, and her thumb slips over a knuckle, settles between two. ‘this is deanna,’ imogen continues after a moment, shame blooming pink over her cheeks. stunning. ‘she’s knits the most wonderful everything, laudna, and she’s incredible, a cleric, a healer, and—‘ imogen stops speaking aloud but in laudna’s head speaks, finally, no longer the raw and endless electric livewire between them but purposeful message. she died, a long time ago.

laudna’s grip tightens on imogen’s hand. don’t leave. ‘it’s lovely to meet you,’ laudna greets the cleric, and remembers fire and fury and fear and looks on rosy cheeks and bright eyes and full, warm, living flesh. don’t leave. ‘i’m something of a maker myself, i made this dress and some clothes for pate and sashimi, and curtains—i’m very good at curtains—and im quite fond of other mediums too, painting, i’ve done some painting, and taxidermy, gardening, woodwork—‘

‘laudna is very capable,’ imogen says.

laudna stammers to a stop. warmth curls up through her neck, her cheeks. she knows she’s gone blotchy when imogen reaches for her neck, undoes the bandana there and ties it round laudna’s neck.

gallows, rotted rope. unmarked graves. dirt beneath her nails. zealotry heavy on her tongue, tallow grease and smoke.

imogen pauses, unravels the knot before it can be tied.

bed?

laudna leans close, tilts her head onto imogen’s shoulder. they step away, making no excuses or explanations, and take a room in the inn. laudna makes tea, pack of spices in her bag from issylra. mintsharp leaves and cinnamon bark. flowers. pine needles to add to a hot bath.

‘i missed you,’ imogen croaks.

laudna stares down into her tea.

‘laud?’

a warm hand curls around her wrist. tugs her over to the bed where they sit, side by side.

‘hey.’ gentle, so gentle, the hand against her jaw. coaxing her to look at her, look anywhere near her. ‘are you alright?’

laudna nods.

‘really?’ imogen’s smile is quick—fond, undeniably, but fast and tight. ‘because i’m a fucking mess.’

laudna’s laugh is wet, as tears spring to her eyes, overflow. ‘oh i’m s-sorry, i’m sorry darling, i don’t mean to—i’m alright, really—‘

‘would you look at me?’

for a moment, laudna doesn’t. cannot. what if everything has changed? what if this is some cruel trick? not her imogen at all? a nudge to her chin, a murmur, please, and laudna flicks her eyes up finally to see her. violet nimbus. scars crawling up the length of her beautiful neck almost to her chin. the smouldering red of her fingers. the wet, longing desperation of her eyes.

her fingers twitch, skitter up imogen’s arm. laudna brushes her crooked fingers over a tear stained cheek—beautiful.

‘i’m not alright, i wasn’t alright without you,’ she admits, voice shaking, fingers shaking. she drags her nails across the soft of imogen’s cheeks; not to hurt, never to hurt, only to feel and see the white trail left behind. ‘i never wish to be apart from you. never again.’

imogen doesn’t pull away; she leans in, nods. ‘my better half,’ she murmurs.

‘my everything,’ laudna returns, and it is easy to lean in, there is no fear left in her to stop her from touching her forehead to imogen’s, from tilting imogen’s head, from pressing her lips to imogen’s. the kiss is soft and gentle and unhurried and laudna is the only frightening thing about it.

imogen laughs, picking up the thought as it curls, delicious and delighted, on the current between them.

‘my love,’ imogen says, just because she can, and kisses her again.

//

there is a knock on their bedroom door, and a quiet voice intrudes.

‘does anyone—excuse me, pardon me, so sorry for the interruption it’s just i was hoping that you might like to fill out a survey on your experience of the apogee solstice, and reuniting, if i could take just a quick fifteen, twenty minutes of your time?’

[stardustedknuckles]

Man I can't stop thinking about how team Wildemount ran into someone who was directly benefitted by service to her god, who watched FCG forge a real relationship with his - how Fearne, Imogen, FRIDA, and Chetney are behind their friends even if their stakes in the gods are mid at best, and team issylra encountered oppression in the name of one of those same gods and fought it. Cannot stop thinking about them fighting a celestial and how it was the right thing to do (even if the hope was that it wouldn't have to escalate to that). Unless something changes in the next few episodes (which it well might) they are going to reunite with each half having been.... If not nudged in a direction of thinking, at least given many more reasons to lean opposite directions. They care about each other and the world more than the gods and I don't think that will change, but it's fascinating to me where this is all going, especially given that they were deliberately split right down the pairs of them and placed in opposing situations. Orym's experience with the Dawnfather and his followers looks nothing like Fearne's. The fact that they are on each other's side first does not negate what they saw firsthand as they are dragged further and further into the effects of Ludinus's bullshit. Laudna and Imogen, Ashton and FCG - they will choose each other first and maybe that's the only way any of this could ever work, but it doesn't change the events they watched unfold in the name of the gods - the SAME god, in fact. There's no way to argue "well they have different domains and personalities." the same god that was invoked to bring Deanna back into this world to keep a promise, the god Deanna has a complicated but ultimately willing relationship to - characterized by joy and love as service - was called upon to defend the abject colonization of a village of people who worshipped something else. It was the same god.

[codeopod]

Is This Allowed?

Post C3E89

Laudna and Imogen get another chance to talk once they are on their split-party mission, and Orym is caught in the middle. Yes this is titled from the vine, I wanted to play with Imodna from an outside perspective cause they definetely get lost in their own little world and romanticize things that are probably horrifying to onlookers, gotta love some untrustworthy narration. Enjoy!

Orym watched as the nerves settled in to each of his friends. The weight of the world would be enough to drive anyone over the edge, not to mention the weight of another smaller -but no less significant- planet.

They all carried it differently.

Fearne’s ears gave her away, twitching and following each little sound. Ashton leaned a little heavier onto his hammer when he stood for too long, and his brow was hardly ever relaxed. Chetney’s hands had developed a slight tremor, evidenced by his increased frustration while carving. FCG was hard to read, but his emotion wheel was nearly always verging on “exterminate” rather than “smiley” which was definetely something to keep an eye on. Imogen and Laudna were an odd pair, one crackling with light and the other weaving darkness, it only ever balanced out when they were touching, which they had been doing less and less of.

“So let me get this straight,” Ashton huffed, “we’re splitting up.”

“Yeah, that way we can cover more ground.” Imogen responded tersely. She had chewed off her pinkie and thumb nails and had taken off her gloves to continue, almost mindlessly as she paced the earthen chamber. They had already ruled out the assassination mission, against Orym’s hope that she at least be there for whatever happened. He, Chetney, Imogen, and Laudna were set on the infiltration mission, while the others were decided to join Ira for an explosive distraction.

“It’ll work out Ash, it has to.” He spoke up, squaring his shoulders. “You guys do what you do best, and we’ll do the same. Play to your strengths.”

Something flashed in Ashton’s gaze before he rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Right, the time-bombs vs the high-strungs.”

“I would say poor choice of words but you literally blew up.” Laudna chimed in, spindly fingers ghosting over her neck, Imogen glared at him from behind her.

“Shit, sorry Laudna.”

“It’s alright, it was funny.” She spoke over Imogens “Not funny.”

Orym sat vigil as Imogen curled in on herself, eyes glazed as she watched the violet flickering orb of her magical light dance between them. Their party had split off that morning to infiltrate and gather as much intel as they could before finally reporting back to Exandria. They were almost done, but the pressure had only increased. Especially now that they needed to spend the night in the underground network of tunnels near their target. They were meant to be back by now, and they would lose their telepathic communication soon without Letters nearby. It was all getting messy, but they had determined that it was safer to take it slow. Somewhere nearby, Fearne, FCG, and Ashton were waiting with Ira for their signal.

They are safe. Everything is stable. He reminded himself.

He had been first to offer to watch while the rest started their nights rest, but Imogen lingered as if her light was a fire that needed stoking.

You wanna talk about it? He spoke directly in to her mind to not disturb the others. It took her a minute to respond.

Bout’ how my momma might be dead right now? How if I close my eyes I might see her walk into that storm? How it’ll be the last time I ever see her. How I could’ve probably changed her mind but chose not to?

You couldn’t have changed her mind, not overnight.

Imogen looked at the ceiling, tilting her head back to suppress her tears.… I know it. That’s the worst part. She never would’ve chosen me over them. Not without a lot of talkin’ and time we don’t have.

War is full of ugliness and pain, I’m sorry you have to experience it, but you aren’t alone. You have us, we may be broken but we’re your family too, and we chose you. He gestured to the weathered grey fur of Chetney and to where Laudna lay curled up further away. Us and your spooky lady. We love you.

She smiled a little at that. Thanks Orym.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the soft snores of the old werewolf. Imogen’s eyes were noticeably drawn to the huddled form of her girlfriend just at the edge of the purple glow.

Can I ask how it’s going with you guys?

We’re alright. We talked earlier about everything and we probably still need to talk more but it’ll have to wait.

Yeah, I think a lot of us are holding out for a breather to delve into our stuff.

Some things are easier to postpone, my momma not so much, Delilah too, I just wish she wasn’t there all the gods-damned time.

Is it really constant?

Well, ‘ts what Laudna said anyway, she’s been getting stronger, she even spoke out loud to me and Fearne. Imogen grumbled. Cant stand it…knowing that ragged nasty old bitch is whispering horseshit in her ear and watching all our time together. Makes me not wanna do any…private stuff.

Orym snorted but paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. You know that’s exactly what Delilah wants, right?

Us not doing stuff?

Not just that, she needs Laudna to feel isolated…unlovable…it’s much easier to overpower someone with nothing to live for, she would definitely want to separate you two as much as possible.

Orym thanked every deity he could think of that he was friends with Imogen Temult and not at the receiving end of her power as she shot to her feet.

“That fuckin’ cunt.” She hissed out loud, turning to go to Laudna. Thanks Orym.

Orym chuckled and let his head fall back. “Yep.”

The glowing orb trailed after her, shifting its lavender spotlight onto the couple and leaving him in total darkness.

He couldn’t help but watch as they reunited; Laudna jolting upright to check on her, before furrowing her brow and pulling Imogen into her arms. Orym could only guess what Imogen could have possibly said that had Laudna wrapping around her like a spider keen on its prey. The darkness around them drew closer and the warlocks form blurred, growing in size and shuddering as her bones cracked and grew jagged bark. Her shadows licked and played around the perimeter of Imogen’s light, casting a ghostly lightshow accross the cavern wall near them.

His grip tightened on his sword hilt. He still wasn’t used to her unique display of power, and his gut often told him he was in serious danger even if it wasn’t aimed at him. He had started deferring to Imogen in those moments, to gauge the appropriate response.

The sorcerer slipped into the dark embrace without a seconds hesitation. She held on for a long moment before she drew away just enough to pull Laudna’s distorted face down to her own, hands stained black.

He nearly blushed at the raw intimacy of it all. The urge to reach under your partners skin and make a home amongst their bones was usually, he hoped, a purely poetic notion. They were in a unique position, literally, he couldn’t quite make out what was happening so he figured it wasn’t his business.

After a few minutes he glanced back to see imogen blushing and smiling like a smitten teenager, lips smeared dark, as she swayed into Laudna’s -now relatively normal- form. They were still impossibly close, but their magics had calmed, pastel purples blending into shadowy void. He heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing the lilting crone of Laudna’s laugh echo across the cavern. As they settled into their nest of blankets, Imogen’s residual dancing light faded to a dim glow before disappearing altogether, reducing Oryms perception to just his keen ears.

He really wished it hadn’t. It didn’t take long for the pair to start muttering and whispering again. He did his best not to eavesdrop, but it quickly took a tense turn, and he felt a deeply unsettling energy radiating from their direction. The normal darkness turned into something deeper, a chill skirted up his arms, and their whispers distorted to be unrecognizable and nightmarish. He wondered if Laudna had even noticed all the ways magic flowed from her, or if Imogen had grown so accustomed that she hardly took note. He was on his feet and stepping towards them when a voice broke above the din.

“No you fuckin’ aren’t!”

He nearly groaned. They were supposed to be keeping quiet and covert, not infighting. If this came to blows they would be in for a world of problems.

A light flared to life and shot towards him. He froze, preparing for his worst eventualities to unfold, until it stopped just above his head. It was one of Imogen’s, and it swayed slightly, seemingly attached to him this time.

Thanks , uh, could you guys k-

She interrupted him with a frustrated growl.

“Nope. Not messing with that.” He muttered to himself and sat back where he was before. Luckily, things slowly returned to normal, the room regaining its very faint light from the outside, and the couple quieting down for long enough that he knew they were finally asleep. He walked over and kicked Chetney lightly to switch watches with him.

Imogen wanted nothing more than to fall into a dreamless sleep, but she had a point to make first.

“Laudna?…hun? You awake?” She whispered into her lovers mind as she took a careful step towards the slight lump in their bedroll, shedding her outer layers that smelled like ozone and earth.

Laudna shot upright, concern pinching her features. “Are you alright darling?”

“Are you?”

“Can’t seem to close my eyes.”

“Well that never stopped you before.” Imogen teased.

“Imogen…?” Laudna regarded her with caution as the intensity in her eyes sharpened and locked on to her with a faint blush.

“I love you.”

“I love you t-“ The air burst from her chest as Imogen crashed into her.

“I love all o’ you.” She whispered. “Just as you are right now, okay?”

Laudna could only mumble incoherently, balking under the sudden attention as Imogen closed her eyes, happily tucked against her collarbone.

The cold seeped around them, Laudna’s aura enveloping her just before her arms followed suit. “I love you when you’re all creepy and dark.” Imogen took a deep inhale of petrichor and cedar, her hands sliding along the delicate architecture sprouting along Laudna’s spine as it shifted to accommodate her.

All Laudna could do was squeeze her eyes shut and try desperately to believe the woman in her arms.

“All your gore too.” Warm fingers traced ink across pallid skin. “You’re so beautiful Laudna, inside and out, an’ I would know cause I’ve seen it all.” She pulled her down into a slow kiss, hands smoothing her hair as twigs and leaves fell away to oil softened tresses. “I don’t love you in spite of Delilah, I love who you are in spite of her. You’re kind, and joyful, and crafty, and you love kids and you’re always eager to help cheer people up, even when everythin’ is just awful, and I’m gonna sundre that witch for ever thinking she could dim your spark.”

Laudna’s grip on her tightened with a strength that defied her willowy form. Imogen buried her head back into her now-soft skin and pressed a light kiss to her neck.

“I wanna have a farm with horses and two babies with purple eyes and black hair and a dog and some barn cats, and I want the worst thing that happens in a month to be us runnin’ outta eggs.”

Laudna gasped a breath as her ribs settled back in to place, her shock nearly choking her. “Imogen…” she cradled her face gently, dark eyes wide in awe. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Everything is okay, I promise, I just figured some shit out and I wanted to tell you.”

“I-okay.” Laudna wiped tear tracks from warm freckled cheeks as her own dripped from her jaw. “I want that life too. More than anything. It would be my deepest honor to share that with you.”

“Then it’s decided.” Imogen hiccuped and laughed softly. “Did you still wanna sleep?”

“Will you join me?”

“Can I hold you?”

“Please.” Laudna’s voice was small, but her shy smile remained as she bumped their noses and prestidigitated the tears and ichor away.

“Aw.” Imogen mumbled. “I like when it stains me.”

Laudna laughed bright and carefree, pulling Imogen in for another kiss. “You’re strange, my love.”

“Oh I like the sound of that.” Imogen purred.

My love. Mine.

Laudna giggled, delirious with affection, and pulled Imogen down into their bedroll. Imogen rolled onto her back and tugged Laudna’s head to her shoulder, hooking her own legs over Laudna’s, fingers slipping into her hair to scratch gently at her scalp. Her other hand soothed along the arm around her waist until the usual chill had melted away under her careful attention. Laudna sighed again and sunk deeper onto her.

“Alright?” Imogen whispered.

“The children… our children, if we somehow figure out how to have them, rather than adopt, they might be different than you imagined.” Laudna whispered after a moment.

“What like purple hair and black eyes instead? Maybe we’ll get lucky and get one of each.”

“Or a…teifling.” Laudna added.

Imogen held her a little tighter. “Oh! That would be interesting.”

“You’re not opposed?”

“We could always adopt. But, I would be honored to have your little teifling babies, or hells, maybe they’ll be little patè’s- I don’t care one bit darlin- they’ll be ours.”

Laudna clutched at her chest and squeezed her eyes shut. “Okay!” She managed.

“Shit, was that too much?”

“No!” Laudna hid her face in Imogen’s neck. “This all feels like a wonderful dream that will only end in horrid dissapointment.”

“Why would you say that? We’ve come this far havent we?”

“It’s not real .” She began, “I mean -I’m not real- I’m not alive, anything good that happens is simply a nice sentence in my epilogue.” She spoke in a flippant way, whether it was because she believed it, or because it was too painful to say sincerely, either way it made Imogen’s chest ache. A chill traced her spine, and up the back of her neck.

“Don’t you dare say that. I am not a dream.”

“No. You’re far better than anything I could’ve possibly imagined.”

“Don’t get sweet on me after saying this ain’t real.”

Laudna flinched, “I’m a ghost, darling.” She whispered.

“No you fuckin’ aren’t!”

Orym cleared his throat from somewhere in the shadows. Imogen threw a glowing orb his way and turned back to Laudna. “You listen to me. Your heart beats. You have dreams and hobbies and passions. You have a whole-ass girlfriend sitting in front of you, kissin’ on you and talking about making a family. You. Are. Alive.”

“That life wasn’t meant to be mine.”

“Says who? You think you’re just meant to be a hollow shell for a necromancer to puppet? That’s why you were born? You think you haven’t suffered enough to earn a little good?” Imogen huffed and set her glare in the taller woman who was currently curled in on herself. “You think Letters isn’t worthy of love? A family? A future? Just cause his life came about a little differently? Cause he’s two old to feel as young as he does? Cause sometimes he gets the urge to do bad things cause a’ how he was made?”

“Of course not!”

“Well you’re no different.”

Laudna’s eyes darted around, welling up with cloudy tears. “Well, I never thought about it like that.”

Imogen shifted to hold her face, “You deserve this hun, all the good and the weird and the beautiful, you’re just as alive as any of us and shit, you’ll probably even outlive some of us.”

“I should hope not.”

“At least Chetney.”

“…I can live with that.”

They watched eachother in the near darkness, taking a moment to breath as the tension finally faded and the roar behind Imogen’s ears dimmed.

“I’m not letting you go.” Imogen reaffirmed.

Laudna smiled sadly but kissed her forehead. “I hope not, nor I, you.”

“Good.” The last of Imogen’s anger left her in a few hot tears that pressed into cold skin as they hugged and swayed for a long moment.

“Shall we try sleeping again?” Laudna murmured.

Imogen waited until she was almost sure Laudna was asleep before whispering softly. “I’m afraid I’ll see my momma walk into the storm.”

Laudna made a pained noise and cradled her closer. “I’m so sorry dear.”

“It’s alright, really, she’s easier to let go of now that I know more.”

“It’s very much not alright. It’s entirely fucked and horrible. But I’ll be right here the entire time you’re asleep, you won’t be alone for a second, I swear it.”

“Alright.”