#fck grammar

[yourquitemuse]

i won’t lie to you.

i don’t come with warnings because i am one.

and by the time you realize that,

you’ve already handed me the matches

and pointed to everything you swore was sacred.

i don’t break things with noise.

i break them with quiet neglect,

with almosts, with “i forgot,”

with a smile that says i know what you need—

and i won’t give it.

i don’t rage.

i rot.

i infect the good parts slowly,

until you forget what soft ever looked like.

you’ll start explaining me to your friends,

defending absences i never apologized for.

you’ll call it patience.

i’ll call it convenience.

i don’t ask you to stay.

i just make it hard to leave.

i will memorize your weak spots

and kiss them like i earned them.

then press down,

just to see if you flinch.

you’ll think love is supposed to hurt a little.

i’ll make sure it does.

because here’s the truth:

i don’t love cleanly.

i love like rust—

quiet, persistent, irreversible.

and even when you finally go,

you’ll find me in the things you can’t enjoy anymore.

songs, shirts, phrases—

i ruin small things on purpose.

that’s how i stay.

not through presence,

but through corrosion.

[baujoo]

I was not aware of that ending and now I’m sad.

『So tell me, Ichabod, where lies thy glory?』

ch. belongs to @fantasia-kitt

[ploffskinpluffskin]

google docs constantly trying to correct my Fanciful grammar has me just

[decapitatedrathead]

♡!SMUT HCs!♡

ft.Shuto Sendo

♡!A/N!♡: Have any of you read about Sendo? Like the fact he enjoys being pampered, that he sleeps with a belly warmer cause he's oh so sensitive to the cold, and he cries when people talk shit abt him?

He likes to be spoiled for fcks sake...

♡!TW!♡: smut!!!, idk kinks ig, I ain't writing all this shit sorry😭

I pulled this straight out of my ass, also sorry for grammar mistakes or anything that doesn't make sense, I'm a slavic gal and English ain't my first language!!<3

Minors do NOT interact!...please

Look, I'd say bottom, but Sendo has a massive ego and too much pride to sink that low

So personally, I think he's a pillow princess, but in aaaa dominant kinda wayyy?¿ (idk what to call it)

You know, get you to do all the work as he just sits back and watches

Definitely has a praise kink, that's like a given with his pride and ego (you're the one praising him)

During sex, he doesn't do shit, just....enjoys the show...

The best Sendo will do is a lazy throat fuck, and that's him being generous (also the throat fucks aren't exactly rough he's just pushing your head lower and lower, so yeah, lazy)

...he enjoyed nights like these..after a long day of practice when he could just lean back against the headboard, silently grunting as you bounced yourself up and down on his cock

He always lets you do your own thing, let it be grinding on his thigh when he's too tired to undress, or riding him justttt the way he likes it.. and truth be told?

But one thing he expects every time? He gets to finish... sometimes it's selfish, and he leaves you hanging, ruining your orgasm just as you're about to reach the peak and then... nothing...

Although he doesn't like working to receive pleasure, orgasm denial is also definitely on his list

It kinda like...gets him going? To see you all worked up when he suddenly shoves you off of him

Not that vocal, but like..really fucking whiny, dragging out every sentence when he feels good, or just generally whines like a toddler when you do something he doesn't like as much

Expects YOU to be handsy with him. He's very sensitive on the pulse points under his ears, so that's a no‐no cause he's also ticklish there

Eating you out? Forget it. He'll have to EXTRA generous to do that.

Favorite position? Cowgirl, no doubt. Although...

Once, when he came home to you after being away for a tad bit long....he got you into a mating press and the way he got hard all over again when he heard your pretty sounds..?

Mating press is like that one card up his sleeve he likes to pull when you fuck yourself dumb on his dick...as a little, shall we say, reward

Also, his dick? Pretty like him. That's all I have to say

In conclusion? He's a pillow princess and doesn't like moving a muscle in order to cum

But....why would he have to work, when he has such a pretty slut like yourself to do it for him?^'^

Please please please tell me if anyone did something like this? But I don't think anyone did?

~Posted July 11th 2024~

[lilmissasap]

ur not latino bruh ur black, fck u putting spanish in yo writing fo...miles aint even speak good spanish in the movies w his hey qué tal tío head ahh i swear this fandom is fckn delusional and makes puerto ricans look bad. stop fetishing la cultura boricua and tell these white mfing writers to stop using the goddamn n word

ur rly fucking cute. u wanna take ur pussy ass off anon so we can talk? if not we can kiss if you wanna since i clearly got ur ass all hot n bothered. now normally i wouldn't entertain bullshit, but im feeling generous tonight. so since u obviously didn't thoroughly read what i wrote, ima put it in layman's terms for ur fucking illiterate ass. first of all, it's 'for'. u not all rough n tough cus you confidently left out a letter of the alphabet. u wanna be a bitch on anon in MY inbox? use proper grammar. second of all, it's fuck no 'fck'. u wanna talk about it be about it, grow a god damn pair and cuss me out with ur chest. third of all, u failed fucking geography. where the fuck is haiti?? i'll wait.

that's latin america you fucking genius. because haiti is in latin america i can claim those fucking roots whenever and however i damn please. ain't nobody fetishizing around here. i put spanish in my writing cus i speak spanish.

where the fuck did you find any sort of sexual connotation in my writing? the fact that i am perfectly fine with my characters speaking spanish and being of taíno/afro- latin american descent, because that's what I AM and i enjoy writing characters like myself? ur really cute, but maybe it's time you learned how to self regulate 🥰🧚🏽‍♀️

so class what did we learn?

1. i yell back.

2. where haiti is geographically speaking

3. the dictionary definition of fetish

4. i will descend into the seventh circle of hell and personally shake hands with satan to drag ur ass to hell and back. do not play wimme.

5. i had time today

6. if u wanna talk about it, be about it.

that's all, i love uuuuuuu allll

edit: bonus: 7. i am not the one. today, tomorrow, or them days after that. done fucked with the wrong bitch.

[zillytr0llcl0wnz]

!!TW: MENTIONS OF N0NC0N/R4P3 ELEMENTS AND SELFHARM!!

I fcking i hate Archive of our own istg

When i was looking for some Johnny worthington/reader fanfics, i came across a certain...thing

The fanfic's title is called "Take a joke"

And it's mostly about Johnny taking advantage of Mike cuz hes sensitive and r4p3s him

Which later on causes Mike to harm himself

And you might be asking: "Did you read the thing??"

The answer is no

My ass is NOT going to read that

I'm really sensitive as fck about my F/Os being potrayed as r4p1sts

Also istg if theres a person on tumblr who wrote that shit plz leave.

Btw !!

If any of you fantasize about Mike or Randall getting r4p3d Johnny plz block me !!

Pro/com/darkshitters are not welcome here !!

Or if you say "fiction doesn't affect reality" ur gonna get BLOCKED💜

Get out !! ^⁠_⁠^

Oh and uhh,, sorry if my rant post is kinda shit,,

Idk how to do a perfect rant post tbh

My english typing grammar sucks ass

And idk what else to say

Uh

Bye 🪲🪲🪲

[loveblogidols]

Light Euijoo Yagami is Kira!<smut>

Pairing: &TEAM EJ x Fem Reader (YOU) [ EJ as Light Yagami and you as L Lawliet)

Genre: A Death Note inspired, modern AU

Warning: SMUT, a little bit of sexual tension, cussing, & a few dirty words.

They will be out of character because somehow I have to start the smut part 🤭sorry about that.

Synopsis: You and Light Euijoo Yagami met after the school graduation. You could say both of you two graduated as the most intelligent students in the school. However he was a real graduate student whiles you were a fake student and is a bit older than him, but due to your suspicions he is Kira, the most wanted killer of the city you had to pretend and investigate him. Well, you offer him to work with you due to his amazing deduction skills and to follow with your plan to make him confess he is Kira. Light accepted it….but he also had his ideas inside his crazy mind. He is going to kill you. Mehhh does he still wants to kill you after what happened to you two on the couch in L’s house? 😏

Orange color: their thoughts

LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE ANY GRAMMAR ERROR SO I CAN FIX IT!

I’m gonna fck Kira

“ Im L…” she said her head leaning forwardly towards me. She sat on the chair in the most unlikely way a normal person wouldn’t sit on a chair. Her feet on the sit as her knees press against her chest.

She wear a white hoodie with black pants. Her black messy wolf cut hair dramatically fluff out of her head meanwhile her white tiny bow stayed on the side of her soft puffy hair.

So this is L? An emo chick? Never expected it to be a women nor someone like this….I mean how could I tell when the voice the talked to us trough a microphone or a computer was a voice mixed with other different tones of robotic voices.

L stare at me with her big eyes, her dark pupils staring into my soul without blinking and a tiny smile creeped across her pale face.

“ You are? How can you prove to me your are not joking? L…”

Now she grin widely. “Well…..your father’s name is Soichiro Yagami, and in that room the people that talk to me are…Mr. Aizawa, Mr.Matsuda, Mr, Ukita, and Mr.Ide…and last night we talked about the Kira case…remember?……I don’t know how else to proof to you…but that’s alright, I will have a meeting with the others as well…..” She stopped smiling. She got off the chair and put her hands inside her pants pocket.

“Fine I’ll believe you, L….” I put up a fake smile and shook hands with her.

That is how met L. She is amazing doing her job I will admit that especially when she’s a woman it’s surprising….but no matter how amazing she is…she will never…and I’ll make sure that she’ll never find the real Kira.

***

“ you are Kira…” The black hair woman said nonchalantly as she sat on the chair in her usual strange position and took the plate of strawberry cake in her hands.

Light is Kira….that stuff he said and did recently has proven to me. It’s just a matter of time before he confesses it to everyone.

L thought.

“How many times have I told you I’m not Kira! I don’t even have the death notebook. How could I kill people without that book…?” Light said with a calm demeanor yet a bit of frustration came out in his words. He sat on the couch that was placed in the middle part of L’s works place.

“That’s what I will find out….” She replied while chewing and staring blankly at the computer.

Damn it! She won’t stop saying I’m Kira! She sounds convinced and I cannot let her think that! In some way or other, I have to stop making her think I’m Kira, I cannot let her ruin my plan…

The young man rests the back of his body against the couch, his face looking at the ceiling still thinking. L put her food down and turn her rolling chair in his direction.

“ Light, you seem tired…for now I’ll leave you alone with the Kira thing, but…I think you need a massage…I’m good at massaging you know…” L smiled kindly at him as she approach him.

“ I am tired, and your assumptions about me being Kira is more tiring to hear…” The young light brown hair man sighed as his honey dark brown eyes stare at the ceiling.

Suddenly he feels both of his feet free from his shoes and socks. With a shocked look, he look down immediately watching how L massaged one of his feet with her hands. “Light, relax…” she simply said yet still staring blankly at his eyes.

What is she planning? To kill me? To find out if I’m Kira by massaging my foot? No…that’s a stupid thought…and very unlikely of her.

Just relax Light….

As she was on her knees she pull off her white hoodie from her body. “It’s hot in here…” she said as she stand up fixing her black thin tank top.

“Now I will massage from your shoulder…and maybe your temples too…” she smiled slightly. Standing behind the couch.

“Thank you, but why are doing this?” Light asks as he still finds the situation suspicious.

“Today I’m in a good mood and generous, and since we’re alone today, I thought I in helping you relax a little. Since you’re an amazing investigator, you deserve a massage from me. Also just letting you know you’re not the only person I massaged, I’ve massaged other people too but only when we’re alone….” L continue rubbing her hands against his shoulders, moving closer to his neck and above his chest.

Light, slowly closed his eyes as the feeling of relaxation hit him. “So you’re taking advantage we’re alone today, huh?” He slightly smirked. “Right…” L replied.

Light opens his eyes and notices her breast almost touching his forehead. He was shaken a little but….what’s wrong with taking a little stare at her pretty round breasts?

Light never found her attractive. Actually he never even thought about her like that. After all, she is his enemy in secret. Light Yagami is used to dating cute celebrities and beautiful women. However, the difference between those cute and beautiful women and L Lawliet is…that L is extremely intelligent.

Simply as that L Lawliet is just a very intelligent woman.

“Are you feeling good…Light Euijoo Yagami,?” L asked as she look down to meet his eyes. “ was saying my whole name necessary?” He asked opening his eyes to look at her. L was smiling. She looked pretty when she smiled. Her dark pupils look different this time…with a different gaze. Light couldn’t help but keep looking at her eyes as she massaged his slowly reaching to the sides of his neck. “Ahh….” He sighed, his chest puffing in and out. “Now I feel good…..Nn..” He slightly moans.

L blushed a little as she didn’t expect that pleasing sound to come from him. “Am I making you feel that good?…” she teased with a smirk. Light saw her face.

Did she just… blush? Mmm….I wonder if I can tease Ms.Lawliet a little just for fun…

“ you really are…..can you press hear a little hard?” Light softly guided her hand toward his chest. “Rub here a little….” L blushed again but did as she was told. She massaged that area with both of her hands. “Mmmm~…” Light moaned biting his bottom lip.

Now, he must be enjoying this huh?….. I wonder if I can tease him more….maybe I can get him to confess he is the real Kira.

L leaned down to kiss the side of his neck softly. “Ehhh??” Light didn’t pull back. He stays still, looking at her. “It’s a new technique, massage using your lips….” L smiled mischievously.

Now what is she trying to pull? She’s probably trying to find out if I’ll confess I’m Kira….well guess what Ms. L Lawliet….not happening! However, I will go along with her stupid little game and see what comes next…

“Really?….then…can you massage my lips?…” Light stare directly at her eyes with a lustful gaze. L smirked. “ I don’t see why not…hmp…” Immediately she leaned down to kiss his lips quite aggressively. However, Light didn’t back down and kiss her as hard as she did to him. He reaches to grasp onto her black puffy hair. L pulls off to catch her breath.

“We just kissed…Euijoo.” You said as you walk around the couch slowly approaching him. You sat next to him and stare at his brown eyes. “Yeah we did L, I honestly don’t know how to feel about it.” He said glancing at your cleavage from your tank top. “Then let’s not waste time, Euijoo.” You straddle him and sat on his groin. You kissed his neck down to his shoulder while rubbing his nipples with your fingers.

“Mmm~…” he hummed while kissing you, his hands around your back. You started to ride him slowly pressing him closer to you. You could feel his boner inside his pants. “Already hard for me? Mr.Kira?” You tease leaning down to suck on his nipple. “Kira?….. Once again I’m not Kira….I’m gonna show you I’m not him…” Euijoo breathe out.

I knew all this teasing was to find out if I’m Kira….no way I’ll let her get her way. Now I’m gonna make her mine without knowing the real truth.

Euijoo pushes you down the couch. Your legs still straddling his waist. “I’m gonna take this off…” He said starting to pull out your tank top. You laughed a little as you were getting excited about this situation with Investigator Light Euijoo Yagami.

He kissed your neck down to your chest. Immediately taking off your bra. Immediately he went to suck on your nipples. “AHhh~~….ssssh…” you moaned and hissed as his mouth felt good on your nipples.

He smirked and kiss down and down reaching into your black pants. You had planned to discover if he was Kira but you seem to forgot to take control. Hitting realization you immediately switch position with him. Now he was on the couch in shock as you were the one between his legs.

“ no way you’re going down on me first, I’ll start this…” you bit your bottom lip as you down his pants and boxers. “Mmm~ you’re a big guy” you smirked. “Enjoy it…” he smirks evilly back.

You start teasing his tip with your tongue. Euijoo hissed and let out tiny moans eager for you to take him all inside your mouth. “Euijoo….are you Kira or not? ….” You run your lips across his hard veiny member. “N-no!….im not…ah~” He closed his eyes in pain.

“ Then, why did you fail my deduction test? For such an intelligent guy you should have passed it” You run your tongue across his member and lick the tip. You played with his balls. “AHRRH!” He growled eager to be released. “B-because there’s nothing wrong a-about t-that! Smart people can fail too!” He cried feeling desperate for release. He was about to touch himself but you stopped him. “Aww…you seem to be in such pain…you know I’ll be nice today,” you said and put his whole member inside your mouth. You started bobbing your head up and down feeling his dick twitch.

“F-fuck…L, you’re so good….hahaha” he laughed in satisfaction. “Ahh~ I think I’m gonna cum Fuck!” He hissed but when he was about to come closer you stopped making him growl. “Fuck! What? Why?” He said angry.

“ Confess you’re Kira, Now…..or you will have to suffer. “ You glared at him with your big dark eyes. Light didn’t know you have a sound recording under the cough. In case of Light confesses you’ll have the proof.

“ I can’t confess I’m Kira because I’m not Kira…” Euijoo sighed. “ once again you’re lying…” you sighed as well getting off him. Euijoo furrowed his eyebrows in anger. “No way you’re leaving me like this!” He pushes you on the couch, your front side facing the couch. Euijoo kissed you behind your neck, back, all the way down pulling your pants off you. You bit your bottom lip feeling excited.

This wasn’t supposed to be part of my plan…but…his lips and hands feel so good…I can’t help it…I guess it won’t hurt me to pleasure myself for a little…

You felt his fingers rubbing behind you. “aHH!” You cried out in pleasure as he began to insert his fingers behind you back and ford. “Faster….” You moaned out. You soon felt you were coming close but he stop. “Hey!” You shouted angrily. “Hahahahaha! Now you know how it feels!” He grins evilly at you.

He is Kira…

You thought tiredly.

Suddenly you felt something hard and warm. “I’m gonna make you cum so hard and good you’ll regret stopping earlier with me, hehe…” he chuckled madly as he thrust his member hard inside you.

“Ahh! ahhhh! AHHH~~ Euijoo!! Fuck, faster please!!!!”. You were going crazy. You saw stars and butterflies in your mind. “ oh my….you’re so good~….harder harder!” You rolled your eyes feeling so good because of him. He leaned closer to whisper in your ear. His arm and hand above your head clutching onto your hair.

“I’ve had enough of you accusing me of being Kira even though I said so many times I'm not! I stop that from you.” He pounded behind you. His other hand reaching to squish your left boob.

“ ahhh~~….ha….no matter….what y-you to do me, w-won’t stop me….from thinking you’re K-Kira- AHHH~,” You said between all this chaos that’s going on this couch. “Haha, you’re a stubborn woman, you know…” He growled switching you to sit and ride his dick.

You couldn’t process everything that’s been going on. It was going too fast. However, you saw Euijoo below you looking very handsome. Sweat covered his forehead and pretty light tan skin body.

He was beyond beautiful. Even in the beginning, you found him very attractive but of course, you will keep that thought to yourself. He look extremely hot beneath you so you couldn’t help but to lean down and kiss fiercely. He kisses you back gripping on your hair.

You grab his hot hard member and line it inside you. You start to ride him. “Ahh~ Euijoo ~ you’re so big…” you moaned out loud. “F-f-fuck! I’m getting close….” He growled under his teeth reaching to cup one of your perky breasts and suck on it. “this feels too good~” you whispered riding him faster. “I’m cumimg!!” You said rolling your eyes back due to pleasure. “Same! Fuck! You feel so good on my dick!” He yelled both of you reaching climax at the same time.

You forgot all about making him confess he is Kira. You had so much that your mind went blank. Both of you sat on the couch looking at the ceiling breathlessly and naked.

���That was amazing….” He grinned with his eyes closed. “Agreed.” You said glancing at his side. He turns to look at you. Both of you stare at each other for a few minutes with blank minds. You sat up and got your clothes together.

This was a bad idea….shouldn’t have thought of something like this…at the end, I’ve never made him confess he is Kira. I failed this time….and badly.

You thought.

“L,…..don’t regret it…as stupid as it sounds, see it as stress release….I enjoyed it…what happened between us doesn’t have to ruin our work relationship alright?….now I’ll go…” Light said fixing into his clothes. “Once again I’m not Kira…believe what you want to believe “ he smiled and left L’s place.

“ some way or other I have to make him confess to me the truth. The sex was good though, I have to admit that…” You said taking a bite of your cake.

@k1ttywhoreloml

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@heesoap



[miapk00]

Ok let's talk. No one reads this so I feel safe.

I created this blog in order to be truly raw,.no second thoughts, no shame or endless self-questionning. Often I forget it and I again censure myself. I wanna fck stop. So lets go for a raw post. A dark one, à deep one, à shameful one. No edit, i promise, so lets embrace those grammar errors too.

I guess im neva gonna be punk I dont have the guts. I'm not strong enough to not consider others feelings. Im fckn 26 so in theory i should have my life sorted out by now no, lol? Lol, far from that.

Lost two years in trauma and being dissociated. I dont feel 26. I dont feel like I've been able to feel the transition and I'm fckn lost. Im sure im not the only one. But it doesn't make shit easier.

I wanna vomit thoughts so i will do it.

I fckn hate ppl who make others feel insignifiant because of their language skills. I dont wanna say french people but it happened so often I can't shake it. The artschool and the so fckn many times they made me feel dumb for not prononcing shit the right way. And

Lately I dated ( fckd) a dude, Moliere lol. He got the words but was also good at gaslighting because of the words haha. He told me he was was careful at every single word he uses and that I should do the same lol. This was during an argument btw haha, and he made me feel fckn dumb, because I didnt choose the right words for him lol. The "careful at what you say" was passive aggressive. He is french, so maybe lets not forget how much they are in love with their language hahahahh.

Im kinda mad tho. It happens so often I'm sick of it . Lately had a conversation with someone else about art, they made me repeat myself so damn often because thay didnt understand, because of "my accent". Welllll niceee . Thx.

But when you hear themselves talking another language that their own you wanna puke lol.

[maisbookstore]

How ADHD messes with my brain

Tw: adhd, grammar mistakes, just me having a meltdown

I swear I wanted to keep this blog free from my adhd, because I wished to create a magical place; just me, you- the few people who read my fanfics, existing in harmony and fluff with pink bunnies, unicorns who poop strawberry icecream and we all would happily deny reality... Yeah, I don't even know if I should laugh or cry.

So I just laugh, and cry, and silently hate myself.

And people who idealize adhd. Yes, fck them.

"Oh you must excel at many things, right?"

I DO, but at what cost?? Yeah I'm a fcking polyglot, I have two jobs, a whole circle of friends, I study at school, I study languages constantly, I have 5 billion hobbies, a somewhat healthy relationship, a cat, and three cactii that I managed to keep alive. I just renovated a whole house, because I decided that I don't like the vibe.

Do you know what else I have?

-Trauma

-Constant meltdowns

-Self-hatred vs god complex (Am I the most unworthy human being ever or am I above all? Who knows...probably neither of the two extremes reflects what I really am.)

So juggling between two jobs, school, my hobbies, my social life, my relationship, my other duties, when I have time to relax, I just sit in silence, and rot. Literally. A simple task takes me HOURS, because I have no idea how to start doing it, not because I'm lazy, or because I'm unable to.

I scroll like a brainless zombie, reblogging motivational videos on tiktok, hoping they can motivate me too. Thinking: "Yeah, I can be like that" then I scroll again. Bitterly.

The past few months have become a blur of me sitting in my pajamas (I have days off, because my first job is a part time job, and my other job doesn't require me to go to the office, I only have lessons two times per week) and fighting with my demons. In pajamas.

Sometimes I managed to win, though, most of the times I was conquered by the annoyingly tempting looking couch, where I sat down, and scrolled again. Because it was hard for me to do anything at all. Because simply existing seemed like a hard work.

And by existing in my own sorry-ass self hatred I have lost my spark. No matter the amount of make up I have put on, or the nice dresses I bought, nothing was enough. And I fell into a trap: consumerism. I thought, maybe if I buy this or that I would be happy again, and for a moment I truly was. But then the endorphin or serotonin, or something has faded, and there I was, with debt, and even bigger self hatred.

Yeah, acting impulsively is kind of another negativity attached to adhd. Of course it's not an excuse, more like a funfact.

The biggest problem however is that many people have no idea how adhd can literally change one person. How hard it is to live with billion thoughts flashing through your mind in ONE second.

Sometimes I just sit in the tub, crying because my head is full of thoughts. I can connect EVERYTHING with ANYTHING. One time I was thinking about grading my students' paper and then whoom, billion thoughts like lightning went through my mind, and I couldn't stop them. They were invading my brain.

How I long to be a normal person with normal amount of thoughts!

Many people think adhd is a superpower, because when I'm motivated, or when I don't have a meltdown, I'm fcking invincible. Unstoppable. A machine. I work like there's no tomorrow, I'm happy, cheerful, a fcking sunshine if you will. I radiate so much good energy. But then come the clouds, and I feel miserable again.

I long for dopamine, serotonin, whatever, I long for happiness okay?

Because when I do nothing, yet I have so many thoughts I think "Am I wasting my time? Why can't I move? What keeps me back?"

I don't know the answers.

"Do I deserve happiness?" OF COURSE I DO, so why is my brain keep telling me otherwise?

I would give half of my liver to be neurotypical.

It's like I'm sabotaging myself. I start something, I'm succesfull, and suddenly I get scared, because what if I reach my dream? What happens next?

I'm scared of boredom. I have no idea how to stop fighting, because that's the only thing I really know. I had to fight for the smallest forms of appreciation, I had to fight against my own mind, I still do but anyways.

It's just I wish the person in the mirror would say that "Hey, it's fine, you are worthy of love, you can rest, just start with a small step okay?"

But the person in the mirror is an evil with and I hate her. It's me. I'm the evil witch.

I swear if people would get money for being critical, I would be the richest person alive.

Sometimes I try to laugh at my own misery, so very European of me. Then comes the guilt: "There are people starving, fighting in wars, dying, and you complain because of what? Adhd?" Another very delightful European treasure.

So yeah, so much about this blog being free of my neurodivergency.

I don't know how to finish things, so guess this is it.

[gl1tt3rv0id]

!TW: mention of needles and blood!

one month on T! and i fucked up a shot little bit xD i did everything okay, even no blood in injection (because of veins blahblah), BUT-! as i pushed injection to "the end" i felt sharp stab-ish pain, so i thought 'meh, no blood before no now'... not THAT meh tho. as i pulled the needle out a drop or two of blood leaked down my thigh and that moment i was like 'waaaaaiiiit a fck moment... shit'

ANYWAYS i am still alive, leg is complete nothing is missing so good for me

also... i dont really see any noticeable changes, not that much. maybe a little bottom growth but i cant really tell, if thats it then i had btm grwth my whole life. which is and isnt sad, cuz like-... i was excited but??? no??? what??? i need either a refund or bigger dick >:[ although i smell different, little more sour??? idk how to specify, just different. my voice is not that squeeky but thats maybe just my wish.

another big thing is...- wait for it...- i have appointment for pre-surgery consultation for top surgery. in my country we have gender affirmating health care (as rest of healthcare) on insurance. there is this rule that if u want top surgery u have to be a year on hormones and go thru assessment comittee (idk if its Richter term for this word) so they allow u to have top surgery. another big BUT...- in my country there are only two doctors who can give u papers for top surgery without comittee. two sexologist to be more specific. and one of those two sexologist is my doctor (who take care of me in trans healthcare and stuff). so she gave me those papers like "go kid go, chop off these tittiesssss"

my appointment for pre-surgical consultation is in november. wish me luck!

(sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, its 4:19 a.m. and single tear is rollin down my face)

[cllhl5no]

how tf figure out your tenses i fck this grammar😍 plz help😦

[beneathwisteriashade]

what the actual fck is wrong with this anon? like genuinely, how can you type that and be okay with it? what did this person even do to you, anon??

(the poor grammar hurts...)

this is anon

im gonna killu

.

@b0njourbeach @inotonline @floyd-leech-thing @nrcbookclub @official-nrc-prophet i cant think atm so @ more people please

[love-amihan]

i'm a self-proclaimed fukurodani girl but... aoba johsai? girl-

[martiethepythonisflying]

Little red riding hood and fluffy sheep

sheep

YES

[madamewalburga]

Why is Jack Kelly always the single dad in Javid single dad aus like please give me sleep deprived David Jacobs who's struggling to feed little Elmer and support his baby brother Les' education and one day wandering little Elmer ends up on the tattoo shop in front of their apartment complex during a game of hide and seek with his uncle Les and half an hour and a hysterical David and sobbing Les later, little Elmer returns to the playground hand in hand with this cocky smiling man (his arms are full of tattoos jesus christ is that a moon on his collarbone) and little Elmer is grinning and showing Daddy Dave all his sticker tattoos that nice uncle Jack Jack put on his arms.

[kyanmaaaa]

i cant decide if this urls funny enough to counteract how embarrassing it is