#feline jimmy

[roryintheir90s]

Go Kitty Go Kitty Go Kitty Go! 😽

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[alsmp-headcanons]

Instead of brain there is…

Headcanon for a cat!Jimmy era venus flytrap husbands household:

Sometimes Scott and Sausage will be discussing serious stuff, and Jimmy will sense that they’re angsty and start doing cat things. And then Scott and Sausage will stop and start complaining about how much of a stupid cat Jimmy is, but be actually thankful that he is there to distract them from the angst.

Half the time he drops a mouse in front of them just to watch them both fly out of their seats screaming in terror

[halorocks1214]

love is patient, love is kind

Fandom: Afterlife SMP

Pairing: Flower Husbands

AO3 Link in a self-reblog

Word Count: 1328

A tale as old as time: a cat and a moth decide to get married.

Prompt: Vows

Joel found Jimmy playing with the loose threads of a sweater in the back of a closet.

“Jimmy,” Joel said sympathetically but firmly. “You wanna crawl out from there? You know I can’t fit through that size door.”

Jimmy briefly glanced over at the giant to give him an unimpressed look before going back to pawing at the piece of clothing, “Maybe there’s a reason you can’t fit.”

With a sigh, Joel knelt into a squat, his knees cracking and the floor creaking, “Buddy, everyone’s worried about you. The ceremony is going to start in a few hours and Lizzie said you seemed squirrelly right before you disappeared.” A few moments of silence, “It’s okay if you wanna call off the wedding. Scott knows he’s not exactly, er, ‘feline material.’”

“No! That’s not-” Jimmy objected to the idea of ever being disappointed with his fiance. He immediately made his way out of his pity corner and grabbed the front of Joel’s shirt with more sharp claws than necessary, “Scott’s perfect. Did someone say something to him to make him think otherwise?”

Joel chuckled, rolling his eyes fondly. Those two were made for each other, jumping on someone that dared suggest the other wasn’t better than amazing, “No, no one said anything. In fact, everyone’s really excited to see you two up on the altar together. Well, at least everyone that isn’t you for some reason.”

At that, Jimmy flinched a little, letting Joel’s shirt go to fidget with his hands. His ears downturned with guilt, “I’m just worried. There are so many ways I can hurt Scott that if I thought about all of them I might pass out. Like, what if my cat instincts make me chase him and he can’t get away? Not to mention how much larger I am in general. Oh, Gods, how are we even supposed to sleep together, I might crush him!” Joel snickered. “I didn’t mean it that way you jerk!”

“That’s not what I’m laughing about either,” Joel explained, puffing one side of his chest out, the one with a small pocket. The pocket started to vibrate, confusing Jimmy a whole lot before a small green and purple puffball popped out of the fabric. Jimmy heard the sound of a record scratching in his head.

Scott jumped out of the pocket to flutter up to Joel’s shoulder and shook himself down free of lint, “Joel Smallishbeans, you are a filthy, filthy man.”

Joel shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky smile, moving a hand to his knee to stand up again, “In my defense, I don’t normally carry tiny people within the confines of my clothing.” Scott started to hover so Joel could walk out of the room to leave the newlyweds to their much-needed conversation, but not before pausing at the doorway and looking back over his shoulder, “You two better work this out. Joey made the wedding cake for this, and you know how much his cakes slap.”

With the click of a door being shut and the thump thump of large footsteps leaving the vicinity, all that was left was a nervous cat and a nosy moth.

“Jimmy,” Scott said in a similar tone to Joel’s from earlier when the giant said the same thing. Jimmy was curling in on himself, embarrassed that Scott heard all of that. Worse, Joel brought up the idea of Scott being okay with calling off the wedding, so did that mean Scott planted himself on Joel to see for himself if Jimmy didn’t want anything to do with him? Jimmy botched this seven ways to Sunday and- “You do remember how the two of us ended up proposing, yes?”

Jimmy blinked, realizing that Scott technically started a sentence at some point while Jimmy was chastising himself, “We both thought the other wasn’t going to be the one to ask the question, so we accidentally did it at the same time.”

Scott nodded with a smile, moving forward to sit on Jimmy’s chest. At some point Jimmy must have sat back to sit on his butt, giving the moth a good platform to land on. His little wings fluttered as he looked up into his soon-to-be husband’s face, “And when we both proposed, we essentially agreed to be there for each other through every hardship that came with this relationship, right?”

Jimmy could feel some tension leaving his shoulders, “... Yeah, basically.”

Scott readjusted the front of Jimmy’s shirt. With difficulty, as he was the size of Jimmy’s palm, but he was getting there, “Then we’ll be fine. As long as we work together, then we can get through anything.”

“I still worry about-” Jimmy tried to voice his concerns again, however, he was quickly shut up by Scott flying up to bap him in the face. It didn’t hurt, Jimmy honestly almost missed it with how small Scott’s hand was, but the shock was enough to get him to shut up.

Scott promptly gripped Jimmy’s cheeks to hang onto his face. “Do you think you’re the only one that can cause trouble between us?” Scott’s intense expression was slightly adorable as he smushed it against the bridge of Jimmy’s nose, “What if you get hurt in a way that I can’t help you with? I can’t possibly bandage you or give you properly sized health potions that account for your weight and height. You’re not the only one worried you’re not going to be enough, you know.”

Oh, “I never considered that. I was just happy to marry you finally.”

Scott moved to stand on Jimmy’s shoulder and leaned against the side of his face with one hand like a normal-sized player would lean against a wall, “Now can you consider I feel the same way? We’re gonna need to put some work into this, yes, but all relationships need work. Do you think Joel and Lizzie live perfect, stress-free lives with their origin combination?”

“Probably not,” Jimmy said with a grin, bringing a hand up to gently hold Scott and lightly squeeze him against his face in some weird kind of hug.

Scott sighed, squeezing Jimmy’s face right back, “And yet they’re as happy as can be.”

Jimmy brought his hand to his lap, bringing Scott with it as the moth sat expectantly on his palm. Jimmy was suddenly feeling like his little freakout was a tad bit silly, “Yeah, they are.”

Scott crossed his arms with a victorious expression, moving to sit criss-cross-applesauce. His wings fluttered a little again to emphasize just how prideful he was, “Besides, we do have some things in common. We’re both fuzzy, we’re both adorable, and we’ll both uncontrollably chase a beam of light if it catches our eyes.”

Jimmy let out a hearty laugh, “We could also have fun double-dates with Joel and Lizzie. See which significant other can climb their giant husband the quickest.”

Scott shot up, flying above Jimmy’s hand now, “Excuse you, that’s not even a question! Of course I would win!”

“Yes, because you definitely know how to climb compared to the raccoon,” Jimmy rolled his eyes while standing up, his fiance floating higher and higher to stay at eye level. “No, Scott, flying does not count as climbing. Shut up before you even begin.”

Scott pouted, puffing his cheeks dramatically, “Tsk, fine, I guess.”

Church bells rang out from outside, signifying the start of something beautiful.

“Ope, guess that’s our cue,” Scott said, getting serious. “We still need to get dressed, so I’ll leave you to it and meet you outside the doors. You still wanna walk down the aisle together?”

Jimmy nodded, “Absolutely. And Scott?” He interrupted the moth's attempt to leave. When Scott looked back at him, he held out his two pointer fingers, “‘Till death do us part?”

Scott took a second to register the question, but quickly flew closer to Jimmy to grab a pointer finger within each of his hands, “‘Til death does us part.”

[hummingwillow]

I have an idea for a fic or somethin if anyone wants to steal it :)

So what if the person Scott is tryina bring back is his sibling, not lover? And like his ‘familiar’ is actually just cat hybrid jimmy who has both a cat form and human form (not entirely human, just like human with cat futures ig)

Just him having this familiar long before he got the invitatiob(?) from the surprend witch, and then Cleo, or someone, bein like “Yeah that ain’t a familiar, that’s a hybrid” lol

Because i feel like Scott hasn’t really met witches before and has learned everything he knows from old books he’s found (at least my headcanon) so he doesn’t know how an different familiars are to like hidden hybrids and reg pets (i don’t either-)

but someone who has met witches, and prob has trained under one would, right?

idk just an idea bc i’m obsessed with flower husbands and have been reading fluff fics

[crazy-pe3p]

a few rats smp doodles because i love them

[ + unfinished drawing of al!jimmy [feline] and ratimmy i started and forgot about ]

[feline-gal]

Mobian!Eds - Boom Style

[kaiyaru-art]

in memory of our cat, Jimmy :( who passed away (was poisoned) on March 24th. I miss her sm

.

Support me on KO-FI -> https://ko-fi.com/kaiyaru

Commissions -> https://kaiyaru.carrd.co/

[at7artblog]

Feline!Shubble from ALSMP

[montgomery-moods]

Hi there! Is it alright if I a request a playlist of feline!jimmy from alsmp? Thank you and have a lovely day!

Done! It was super fun to make a playlist for my favourite catboy, so I hope you enjoy!

Also, thank you! Hope you have a lovely day too!

[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 8 * mv1

rumours on the paddock have it that max is out and about with another girl on his arm

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: -

notes: only 2 more parts after this,, making me kinda sad ;( i’ve used this as an outlet not to trauma dump irl anymore so what have i gOT AFTER THISSSS

(series masterlist)

(prev) // (next)

the car slowly comes to a stop, turning your head to stare at the apartment building you used to have memorised. it’s in the louder part of town, a more convenient location for your now ex-lover for when he needs to get around.

you hadn’t expected to cave so soon, but you were lying about in your apartment with nothing to do when you felt a sharp pang of pain in your chest. fueled by the sudden cat shaped hole in your heart, you called victoria up for a request to spend some time with the felines you’ve deemed as your kids.

a soft tap on your window makes you turn your head, a small smile from the younger woman startling you before winding the window down. “hey!”

“hey,” you greet her solemnly, putting the car in park before you climb out slowly. “have you gotten dinner yet?”

“i’ve got food upstairs,” victoria assures you. she turns to the man in uniform, hands behind his back at the entrance of the apartment building. “extra for you as well.”

he sends you a grin. “ms. (y/n)! welcome back.”

you return his gesture with a courteous nod. “hello,” you smile as he makes his way to your car.

valet is something you never asked for, but max had insisted following the incident of you chipping the paint off your car on a wall in the cramp basement parking.

if victoria hadn’t told you that your car was still under the list, you would have taken a taxi.

“sorry for calling you so abruptly,” you chuckle sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck as you follow the younger woman into the elevator. “i just missed jimmy and sassy. so much. i’ve tried staying away, but those two have got my heart in their tiny little paws.”

victoria smiles warmly at you, a friendly hand on your shoulder with a tight squeeze. “i’ve always got your back,” she giggles, shaking you slightly. “you’re my favourite.”

you shake your head. “have they been eating fine?”

“they have! but i get an inkling that they’ve been missing you,” victoria frowns, now leading the way in the empty hallway. “they sleep on your side of the bed when i’m around and start meowing like crazy when i come in. probably hoping it was you.”

that was the conflict you had coming back from the singapore gp to clear the apartment of your things.

you had concluded yourself that packing them up to bring them with you would be too stressful for the cats, which is why you made the difficult decision to leave them in max’s apartment.

on your last night, you gathered them up with you for cuddles while you slept. in the morning, they meowed for you as you walked out, leaving your heart heavier than it initially was.

when you step into the apartment, you try to push away the lingering feeling of breaking out into a sobbing mess. you call for the cats as you usually do, things shuffling and falling over in different parts of the apartment before you see two figures running over to you.

“i’ll prepare you a plate,” victoria grins, closing the door behind her. “i made carbonara.”

she disappears into the apartment, leaving you with the two cats rubbing their heads and bodies on your calves while you take off your shoes. it’s not very like them to be clingy like this, so it makes you grin though they do make it harder to finish your task.

“yes, yes,” you mutter, grabbing jimmy by the torso to briefly move him away. “i will carry you in a bit, baby. i just want to take off my shoes.”

you trudge further into the apartment, trying to make sense of the half empty place you used to call home. you should’ve been here; you should still be here.

if only you can get yourself to call him instead of moping around and falling asleep with his name on your lips like a prayer.

you try to get comfortable by the coffee table in the living room, both cats wrestling one another as they try to fit in your lap. you put your bag on the table. “i’ve got treats for you guys!” you squeal. “but, i’ve got to send a text first. give me a second, okay?”

you turn on your phone, answering your friends with a simple text message. you then get distracted from there, swiping to your home page and opening instagram for a quick look.

suddenly, you wish you never had.

there’s a picture of max, in the paddocks during the race weekend… with her. the bane of your existence then, and still the bane of your existence now even when he’s not yours anymore.

not that there's anything suggestive in the picture that would confirm a relationship. but it is enough to raise speculation now that news has broken that you are no longer together.

they're simply walking side by side in conversation. surely there's nothing going on between them. right?

you feel your heart sink in your chest and your throat closing in. even the presence of either cat isn’t enough to make you want to stay. but you know you have to power through — they’re just cats. they don’t know what’s going on.

you breathe out shakily, tears filling your eyes to the brim as you take out the liquid treats for the cats.

victoria walks out of the kitchen, alarmed by your sniffling and the tears falling out of your eyes. “oh, hey! what’s wrong?”

you shake your head, promptly putting the packet of treat down while jimmy and sassy flock to the familiar scent. you wipe your tears away and laugh dryly. “oh, it’s nothing! i just really missed the cats.”

“no, really. what is it?” victoria asks in a soothing tone, putting down the plates on the dining table before she runs over to you. “what’s wrong? talk to me about it.”

but you can’t. victoria will always be on max’s side — through and through. they’re siblings, after all. it doesn’t matter what happened between you both. no matter how much victoria says that you’re her favourite.

you grin through your tears and force a smile. “it’s just the apartment. i haven’t been here in so long.”

the suppressed emotions from earlier are finally surfacing. it’s even worse now that the universe made you look at the picture of max with kelly.

it all feels too fresh. sure, you were doing fine months after the breakup. but it’s different now seeing him in the first steps of moving on; you were still hoping for that slight glimmer of spark to eventually rekindle and reconnect you with him.

with kelly now in the picture, the possibility to having max back are looking bleak.

victoria holds you in a side hug. “i’m sorry you guys broke up,” she rubs your arm, head resting on top of yours. “i’m here if you need to talk about it.”

you give her a nod with a small smile. you wipe your tears away and try your best to stop crying - you'll just cry on your drive back home. "of course. thank you, vic," you smile, patting her knee. "but i will be okay. as always."

"i'm on nobody's side, if that helps."

you're not sure why victoria felt the need to clarify that. the only possible reason would be that max has not spoken of you and it only makes the tightening in your chest worse.

you let out one final sob, hand on your chest as jimmy and sassy wrestle one another for the liquid treat in your hand. you laugh breathily as you look up at victoria. "if max hasn't talked about it, maybe it's best that i don't as well."

and it left a bitter taste in your mouth saying that. it feels like it's over. you've now completely lost max without any signs of life. there are no signs of max ever coming back.

if max can move forward, so can you.

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever @lokigoeschoki @cherry-piee

[alsmp-headcanons]

I don't know why, but I know I'm right.

You are

[freakartack]

SPITZ NOTES

Lifelong struggles with dental alignment. His overbite haunts him to this day.

Also note the glasses allowing him to see with his eyes. He doesn't wear those anymore

Despite his appearance was active in many school sports including football basketball and field hockey. He hated every single one of them and he is only able to reconcile with the nightmare that was basketball through the healing powers of Jimmy T

This is because of his Dad who, in spite of their feline nature, refused to raise a pussy. Unfortunately, despite his desperate attempts there was nothing Spitz could ever do in order to convince his Dad that he wasn't one. Dad's impossible standards continued to be unmet up until his death

And yeah Spitz was an only child. He was too young to remember his late mother, leaving the hardass tendencies of his dad unchecked

Obviously, he did not have a good time in school. Being the weak link in every sports team did not exactly leave him well-liked. He didn't go to school with Dribble (too many years apart), but one of his most relentless detractors was in fact another bulldog. Funny how things work out like that!

He's been a sci-fi nerd his whole life but he's always guarded that secret fiercely up until very recently through his friendship with Dribble. Given how many decades it took for him to open up to exactly one person about...checks notes...reading books, you can imagine how many people he's told about the rest of his childhood. Dribble, for the record, has never even considered the possibility that a cat and dog might not get along

[laura1633]

Your Charles in Max's lap is so cuteeeeee! 🥹 sometimes I can't help thinking that Jimmy and Sassy might think Charles is their fellow feline because all of them have brown fluffy hair/fur and green eyes but idk whether Jimmy and Sassy will love or hate Charles. Love him because he's our fellows! Or hate him because why daddy let that big kitty sleeps on his bed and eats human food! Or even pity him because why daddy makes Charlie whine and scream so much ;(

Since Charles just wanna be in Max's lap as much as his cats, I'd love to read Charles with cat ear headband that makes Max thinks that, for the first time in his life, he wanna fuck a kitty. His kitty. If you're okay with that ofc 🥹

Ahhh anon I am so sorry for the delay in responding but I hope you see this because this made me laugh and smile like crazy - I think I read the line ‘why daddy makes Charlie whine and scream so much’ like a million times!!’ honestly it was the highlight of my whole week!

To be honest I wasn’t sure how to write this one at all but I have given it a go because your message made me smile so much. It's only short but drabble below

“What are you wearing?” Max studies Charles curiously. 

“You don’t like them?” Charles grins and re-adjusts the little kitten ear headband he picked up at the store. It really was too cute to leave behind especially because Max is always calling him his third kitty. Charles didn’t understand the comparison at first but the more time he spends in Max’s apartment the more he realises that there are some striking similarities between himself and the home’s other resident felines. Charles sometimes makes a soft little happy rumbling sound similar to a purr and he is  constantly clambering on top of his boyfriend desperate for attention. Plus as much as Charles would like to deny it he does get awfully whiny when he is hungry. He’s come to accept that he is rather cat like, in fact it’s probably the reason Max loves him so much. 

“They’re cute” Max laughs, Charles actually looks rather adorable with the tiny little ears perched on top of his fluffy hair and his big beautiful eyes staring excitedly.

The Dutchman watches in fascination as his boyfriend sets the shopping bags down and then gets on to his hands and knees. 

“What are you…? “ Max’s words trail off and his brain short circuits momentarily as Charles starts slowly crawling towards him seductively, his movements almost cat-like in their elegance. 

“Don’t you want to pet me?” Charles teases as he climbs up on to his boyfriend’s lap and starts head butting and nuzzling against his neck. It’s meant to be a joke except Charles feels Max shift beneath him and realises his boyfriend is getting turned on. The Monegasque flicks out his tongue and laps up Max’s neck before going in with some smaller kitten licks.

“Charles” Max’s breath shudders out of him as he feels a warm tongue behind his ear, “I …” 

“You going to make me purr?” Charles coos. For a joke purchase the little headband is working wonders on Max, Charles is half inclined to go back and get the tail to match.

“Baby I …” Max groans as Charles grinds down against him, “You look good”

“You want to play with your kitty?” Charles’ heart pounds against his ribcage as he feels Max getting harder beneath him. The Dutchman is also breathing much heavier now, his ragged inhales and exhales making his chest swell over and over. 

“Yes” Max admits as he grips his hands into Charles’ waist. He’s got no idea why it’s turning him on so much but he’s chasing out Charles’ lips and kissing him desperately. 

Charles gives him what he wants at first. Kisses him back with just as much enthusiasm but as the Monegasque  pulls away and starts to tease Max gets to his feet and hauls Charles up in his arms - it's pretty much what he would do with any misbehaving cat, except he has rather different intentions towards this particularly kitty. 

Charles squeals as Max carries him through to the bedroom and places him down on the bed. The Monegasque lifts his hips and lets his boyfriend rip him out of his clothes, everything except for the headband of course. 

“You’re so pretty” Max hums as he strokes his hands over Charles’ body and smiles at how cute his boyfriend looks all rosy faced and with two little pointy cat ears. Charles mewls at the touch and pulls Max back down over him, this time nipping and nosing up his boyfriend’s neck as he gets impatient for more. 

Max laughs against him but gives up control almost instantly and starts to open Charles up, pressing his fingers into his boyfriend until he is stretched out nicely. It doesn’t really take too long, it’s offseason so they’ve been pretty much at it all hours of they day. Charles finds it a lot more fun to bottom when he knows he hasn’t got to jump straight in an F1 car afterwards. 

“Please - “ the Monegasque keens and starts pawing at his boyfriend once he’s ready, his little grabby hands reaching out over and over and trying to divert attention to where he wants it next. 

“My pretty little kitty” Max hums as he leans in and peppers Charles’ jaw with kisses. The Monegasque spreads his legs wide so Max can line up easily but as Max pushes in Charles hisses loudly. 

The initial stretch is worth it though and Charles’ hissing soon melts into happy little whimpers and whines as Max starts fucking him. It’s slow at first, gentle, almost reverent. Max’s hands skate over Charles’ body and stroke through his hair. 

As Charles gets more desperate he starts arching his back and scratching down his boyfriend’s body, his nails leaving red marks against the skin. Max seems to get the hint though, the Dutchman doing exactly as told and picking up the pace until they are both moaning against each other. 

Max mouths at Charles’ neck and thrusts deep inside him as he comes, the Dutchman groaning loudly and desperately reaching out to stroke Charles to orgasm second later. 

“Fuck, that was…” Max eases himself of out Charles and drops down on to the bed next to him, “Different. That was different” 

Charles can’t help but giggle, he thought his latest purchase would get him a round of laughter not Max heatedly ripping his clothes off of him. The Monegasque keeps his little ears on as he does the other very cat like thing he likes to do and curls his body around his boyfriend so they can take a little cat nap together. 

[zhukzucraft]

Wild Life - Chapter 1

A fan-made Life SMP session project by Zhuk and Schmomo

>Read it on AO3 here<

Scott blinked, eyes adjusting to the sudden change in light. It had been night time in Chromia when he’d been warned by Grian of the impending summoning. Now he was in the bright morning light on a brand new server, surrounded by familiar faces. 

Well, not as familiar as he had been expecting. 

“Are we furries?” he heard Jimmy question, standing a few players down from him. 

Scott felt his ears twitch, a startling sensation in and of itself. His hands moved to the sides of his head, but only found his wavy blue hair. Before he could migrate his touch further, to see if he looked similar to the equally confused gaggle of players around him, Grian grabbed his attention.

Grian clapped his hands, “You all know the gist. Season six, three lives each. Reds are hostile. Three, two, one, bye!”

Scott blinked several more times as his fellow players sprinted in varying directions, screeching chaotically. After a second to process he quickly followed suit, dashing backwards from spawn and into what he soon realized was a Dark Oak Forest. 

Not ideal, he thought to himself, but he was already in the thick of it. He started hacking away at the bark with his bare hand and let his mind wander up to the sky.

Season six, Scott repeated in his head. Six times now he had found himself summoned, chosen by those beings he still did not quite comprehend to participate in a death game amongst some of his closest friends. The details changed but the goal always remained the same: last player standing wins. Wins what? Scott had already won and he still did not know. He’d been given audience with the beings, but they had looked at him with derision more so than any kind of admiration or praise for his victory. It had been hard to concentrate, or think in their presence. He could not even look at them without a piercing pain behind his eyes. 

 Despite knowing this, the drive to win was ever-present. Even if it would all be for naught in the end. He would spend a few blissful months in his empire only to be whisked away with just a quick warning on his comms, to return to the bloodbath. 

He finished punching down the tree, yielding himself quite a bit of wood in the process. He crafted a table and got to work on a simple pickaxe. It was only then while digging through his inventory that he spotted the book. 

He pulled it out, cracking it open to read: 

Welcome to Wild Life! You are a Cat!  … What? Did you expect further explanation? Where’s the fun in that? Good luck!

As he closed the book, he vanished it from his hands and back into his inventory. He frowned. “Why do you always have to be such a menace, Grian,” Scott sighed. 

“That’s not very nice,” Grian said. 

Scott shrieked, one hand moving to clutch at his heart as he whirled around. There, he found Grian, wearing his typical red sweater and already boasting an iron sword in his hand. Atop his messy mop of light brown hair were two fluffy pointed ears. 

“Grian! You scared me!”

Grian laughed, putting his sword away. “Guess that means you’re a scaredy cat.”

Scott rolled his eyes, feeling something behind him flick back and forth. He glanced backwards to find he had a blue-gray tail, long and puffed up from fright. His ears pinned back in embarrassment, and his hand moved up to touch them atop his head to finally examine them. They felt pointed, just like Grian’s, but perhaps larger. 

Right. He’d made a point not to really think about it.

“Did you not notice?” Grian continued, a giggle still coating his words. 

“Of course I noticed,” Scott grumbled, “Jimmy’s comment soured any sort of interest quite quickly.”

Grian snorted. 

“You have no business calling me a scaredy cat when you’re a feline too,” Scott continued. 

“I wish,” Grian sighed, “But pointy ears aside, I’ve been cursed with doghood.” 

“Oh?” Scott blinked, trying to look closer to see if he could figure out the difference. But Grian took a step back. 

“Got to go,” Grian said quickly, “Oh and, watch out for the skeleton behind you,” he added, before darting away through the trees. 

As if on cue, an arrow pierced into Scott’s shoulder, lurching him forward. He twisted around to find the skeleton just one tree down, shaded by the thick canopy of Dark Oak leaves. Scott cursed under his breath, running a few meters away before taking some of his spare planks and towering up above the tree line. He took in a breath, ripping out the arrow with another curse on his lips. 

“You couldn’t have spared me an iron ingot for a shield, Grian!?” Scott shouted out into the air in exaggerated annoyance. He wiped some sweat from his brow before returning to holding his injured shoulder. He needed food. That shot had taken nearly a third of his health away–

He only had nine hearts. 

He blinked, recounting them in his head, but no, instead of the normal ten he only had the outline of nine. For a moment he feared they were playing without regeneration again, but no, the silhouettes of two and a half hearts remained. 

He pursed his lips. This might be a cat thing. He would need to get a feather and ink sac to start jotting down these observations if part of this game was to discover their own abilities. 

He supposed that gave him a place to start. He should keep an eye out for fellow felines to exchange information with while he hunted down some food. He kept to the treetops, hoping between leaves, careful not to fall into any gaps in case he lost even more hearts. How embarrassing would it be to become the first yellow on day one.

Eventually, he found the edge of the forest, where the Dark Oak gave way to a small stretch of grass before easing into water. From his high vantage point he could see it was a large lake. He could just barely see the shadow of the coast on the other side. 

He hopped down carefully, digging along the coast until he found some stone. From there it was simple to craft a set of stone tools and a furnace. He slipped into the cold water and drew out his sword. He managed to swipe at a few cod and was able to return to grass relatively quickly. 

He shivered, shoving some dark oak logs into the furnace and throwing the fish over it. He was so hungry even their raw form made his mouth water. But no, he wasn’t an animal–

Well, maybe he was. As he chewed on his cooked cod, he ventured closer to the lake’s edge to look at himself properly. His large blue gray ears twitched atop his head and his long tail swayed behind him. He curled it, watching, a bit mesmerized, as the appendage moved under his control. In his reflection he saw the shimmer of another player behind him, hopping down from the treetops. 

He waited, pretending not to notice the intruder to see what they were up to. But the man quickly gave way his position by calling out, “Oho! Is that food I smell?”

Scott snorted, turning around lazily to face his visitor. Etho stood right in front of the furnace, poking at the still cooking cod with his iron sword. How did everyone already have iron?

“Can I have a bite?” Etho asked, “I’m starving.”

“Dog or cat?” Scott asked instead, hopping atop his furnace to look down at the taller man. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Etho raised a brow. His pointed white ears swiveled, and his fluffy white tail swished behind him. 

“I’ve been fooled already,” Scott replied, lifting his hand to push some stray blue strands behind his ears. He failed in his endeavor, his ears no longer there at all. He frowned.  

“I’ll give you a hint,” Etho said, lifting his hand to make a little paw motion by his masked cheek, “Meow.”

Scott laughed, retrieving one of his pieces of cod and tossing it to Etho, who easily caught it. From his own inventory he took out two oak logs, setting them down on the grass. He took a seat on one, and Scott joined him on the other – reluctantly, suddenly missing the cozy warmth of the furnace. 

“Still working with stone, eh?” Etho pointed out. 

Scott huffed, “Well excuse me for being a bit careful and not barreling into the first hole in the ground I find.” 

Etho dug through his inventory, handing him a stack of ten or so iron ingots. Scott’s eyes widened. 

“A bunch of us found an above ground vein,” Etho explained, and even though Scott couldn’t see his mouth he knew he was sporting a cheeky grin, “There’s a mountain on the northside of the map. It was all snatched up within ten minutes I’d say,” Etho laughed. 

“By you?” Scott asked with a raised brow. 

“Not just me,” Etho replied. “Have you met anybody else so far?”

“Just Grian,” Scott said, “He’s a dog.”

“Is he?” Etho blinked, “Looked feline to me. He made out with the most iron, I think. Him and Gem. She’s definitely a cat.”

“Did you see anyone else?’ Scott probed. 

“Bdubs is a dog,” Etho counted out on his fingers, “Cleo is a dog too. Honestly, I think all of my friends are canines.” His ears pinned closer to his head, “They all ran off together pretty quickly.”

Scott placed his chin in his hand, logging the information away. He wondered if it was worth searching out Gem, then. However, they had teamed up just last game, and Scott did his best to switch up his allies as much as he could in these sessions. 

Their pockets lit up and they both brought out their comms to see new messages flashing on their screens. 

Skizzleman > DOGS RULE ImpulseSV > CATS DROOL InTheLittleWood > based Smajor1995 > rude.

Scott put away the comms after he finished typing his response, “Well, I suppose we can assume what those three are.”

Etho sighed, standing up from the log. Scott mirrored him. After all, the sun was past the midpoint and he hadn’t made much progress at all. He really should find himself a cave after he finished crafting a set of tools with the donated iron. Caves were always so dangerous in the early game…

“Seems like the dogs are sticking together,” Scott said casually. His tail flicked as he looked up at Etho, “Perhaps we should form our own feline alliance?”

“Fe-liance,” Etho offered, which made Scott snort. “Sure, but we should probably find a good spot to hunker down. We don’t have much daylight left.”

Scott shoved the rest of his items back into his inventory, giving a quick glance around to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. With that, he and Etho started walking, following the edge of the lake with the Dark Oak forest to their left. 

“Something’s happening out there,” Etho commented, pointing out toward the lake. 

Scott squinted, making out the vague silhouette of something being built out in the middle of the lake. It was too far to really make out exactly.

“If only we had a spyglass,” Etho sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets as he continued his leisurely pace. 

“I bet they’re in trident range,” Scott replied. Etho laughed. 

“And you’re in my range!” 

Scott looked up, watching as someone shot down from the heavens, spinning in a tight circle as he went. He landed right in front of them, facing the wrong direction. He quickly corrected himself, but even without facing them, Scott would recognize Joel’s vest and linen shirt combo anywhere. Of course, now he was also sporting some brown cat ears and a brown and black striped tail. 

He grinned at them, “360 spin jump from sky limit. Impressive, am I right?”

Scott raised a brow, shifting so he could look past Joel and see that he did have a tower of cobble going up into the sky. “I knew you were a thrill seeker, but that seems more like a death wish to water bucket clutch on day one.”

“Have you learned nothing from me?” Etho added, “At least boat it.”

Joel blinked at them, “...You’re both cats right?”

“Yeah?” Scott started, glancing over at Etho who simply shrugged. 

Joel’s confusion seemed to give way to a manic sort of grin. His tail swayed back and forth and the entire display gave Scott the urge to bristle. Joel could be so infuriatingly smug sometimes. Maybe all the time.

“Joel!” 

Joel turned his head, tail perking up straight, “Over here, Lizzie!”

“You’ve wasted all my cobble!” Lizzie complained, coming into view. She sported a pair of ears folded down slightly on her head, the fur a soft orangey-pink. Her tail was especially fluffy, similar to Etho’s. 

“It was necessary,” Joel brushed off. “Had to make sure you were right.”

“Well, now you owe me for the cobble and the information,” Lizzie huffed, “Give me a bucket.”

“I don’t have a bucket,” Joel snapped back. 

“But I saw an axolotl!” Lizzie whined. Joel sighed, digging through his inventory and throwing three iron ingots into his wife’s arms. 

She squealed, “Okay, thanks, bye forever!”

Joel rolled his eyes, but his smile was soft and fond, so unlike the manic look he’d worn before. 

“That was quite cold of you, Joel,” Scott commented. 

“What?” Joel said, turning back to look at them, “I gave her the iron!”

“You could have just given her your bucket.”

“I don’t have one. Are your new ears not working properly?”

Scott pressed his lips into a thin line. Did Joel think he was an idiot? 

“Joel, do you have a base yet?” Etho asked. 

Joel’s shoulders immediately loosened, looking over at the white cat hybrid, “I’ve carved out a little place inside one of the dark oaks.”

“Cool, we’re moving in,” Etho said.

“Excuse me?” Both Joel and Scott snapped, before glancing at each other. 

“Sun’s setting,” Etho said easily. 

“That’s not my blummin’ problem,” Joel huffed. 

“You’d let your boat boy die out here?” Etho pouted and Joel groaned, but seemed to fold easily enough at the words. 

“But why’s Scott have to come?” Joel asked, even as he started to lead them toward his starter base. 

“We’re in a Fe-liance,” Etho said, “You are too.”

“I don’t think cats work in packs,” Scott couldn’t help but comment. 

“Lions do,” Etho said. 

“That’s a pride, not a pack,” Joel replied.

“Joel’s got a lot of that. Pride and ego,” Scott said. 

Etho snorted, but Joel just shot him a glare, illuminated by the flicker of his torch light. With his back turned, he didn’t see the zombie coming toward him.

Luckily, both Etho and Scott had quick reflexes–with Scott grabbing Joel’s arm to wrench him behind his shield and Etho drawing out his sword to slash at the beast. 

Joel recovered fairly quickly, jumping into the fight with relative ease. They were getting surrounded by mobs now. Scott deflected an arrow with his shield and then slashed at a spider rearing up on him. 

“This way!” Joel called, and Scott stabbed the spider one last time, relishing in its death cry. He had no time to grab the string it dropped, instead turning to race after Joel and Etho, weaving through the thick forest of trees. He almost missed it, but there was a dark oak door on one of the trunks that Joel swung open, urging the two inside before closing and locking it behind them. 

It wasn’t a natural tree trunk, Scott realized immediately. It was much more spacious, hollowed out and with ample room for the three of them to move. It was only one room and it still only had grass for flooring, but it kept the monsters out.

“Only one bed?” Etho asked, looking around. 

“I wasn’t exactly expecting company,” Joel grumbled,  pushing past them to the left side wall where he already had a double chest. He dug through it, taking out some raw chicken and more fish. He started loading up his furnace, and Scott summoned his own to speed up the process. Joel said nothing but did dump the fish in Scott’s hands to deal with. 

“I’ve got one,” Etho assured, placing down a bed right beside Joels’. 

“You found more sheep?” Joel blinked, “I was with Martyn and Jimmy briefly when we found a herd and they obliterated them. It almost seemed like they’d gone red.”

There was a smug crinkle around Etho’s eyes, “I actually hid two away. I’ll bring them here in the morning.”

“Brilliant,” Joel grinned. 

“Are we married to living in this dreary place?” Scott asked, “Such a gloomy color scheme.”

“You can head out the door whenever you want,” Joel snapped. 

“And leave you and Etho to pair up again? That’s been done. I have to stick around now to spice it up.”

“Is that a rule I don’t know about?” Etho asked, “Because I’ve repeated buddies every series.”

“Scott just likes being extra,” Joel said. 

Scott gave a little wink, flicking his hair back and swishing his tail for good measure. Joel grimaced.

While the food cooked, Etho and Scott crafted their own chests, each claiming a corner of their room to organize their things. When they finished, the pair joined Joel to eat. Ehto sat on the bed, Joel leaned against his chest and Scott found himself drawn to perching on the lit furnace once again. 

“Has fish always tasted this good?” Etho asked as he ripped into the salmon. 

“The chicken’s divine as well,” Joel agreed. 

“Perhaps it’s a cat thing,” Scott offered, “Did your books give you any clues?”

“Nah,” Etho said, “These games are never that easy.”

“Heh,” Joel grinned, “So you really don’t know anything do you?”

“You’d keep secrets from the Fe-liance?” Etho gasped. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Scott said, “Joel’s not smart enough to know so much so soon.”

Joel squawked, “I’m plenty smart, Scott! And not only that, I’ve got a wife who lives her imperial life as a cat all blumming day every day.”

Scott’s eyes widened. It was true – Lizzie was the Empress of Animalia back on their home server. Despite her best attempts to hide her feline traits, it was fairly obvious she wasn’t fully human. “We need her on our team.”

Joel’s shoulders slumped, “Scar snatched her up immediately. Maybe he had the same idea, I don’t know. But she refused to link up with me. At least right now.”

“Why the hell would she want to pair with Scar? He’s an accident prone disaster,” Scott groaned. 

“He did win last season,” Etho reminded them. 

“I guess,” Scott conceded, tapping his chin, “And Lizzie did crash and burn back there too. Died before Jimmy and everything.”

“Hey!” Joel snapped, “It was your fault she died in the first place!” He shoved his finger into Scott’s chest. 

Scott easily slapped it away, “My fault? Who was the one sending her to kill me?”

Joel growled, tail slashing back and forth in agitation. 

“Man this cod sure is good,” Ehto interrupted loudly, “Nothin’ like sleeping on a full stomach.” He leaned back, stretching out on the double bed. 

Scott let himself be distracted, slipping off the furnace in favor of crawling into the beds beside Etho. 

“Oi!” Joel started, “Are we really going to cram three of us into two beds?”

“Afraid to cuddle me, Joel?” Scott teased. 

Joel shot him a look, “You’ve brought nothing to the table. You should sleep on the floor.”

“We’ll get a third bed tomorrow,” Etho waved off, “Come on, it’s warmer like this anyway. We’ve fit more people in our bed in Double Life.” 

Joel reddened a little as he grumbled. 

“Oh?” Scott tilted his head, ears perked for any juicy gossip. 

“Bdubs insisted on having a sleepover at least one night,” Etho laughed, “It was all four of us sandwiched between the furnaces in the Relation Ship.”

“And it was terrible, Etho,” Joel scowled, but still climbed into the bed, shoving Scott with more force than necessary to carve himself a space. “I’m pretty sure Impulse ended up on the floor and I burned my hand on the furnace.”

“Our hand,” Etho corrected with a yawn. 

“Even worse,” Joel agreed. He turned onto his side, facing away from both Scott and Etho. Etho chuckled, nuzzling into his pillow. Scott soon realized he’d found himself in the worst spot, sandwiched between them. Perhaps it would be better for him to be on the floor – not that he’d ever admit that fact to Joel. 

“You know, Joel,” Scott tried instead, unable to suppress his grin, “It would make more sense for you to be in the middle, what with you being shorter–”

Joel kicked his leg back, slamming it into Scott, “I swear to the void, Scott! One more word out of you and you’ll be the first damn death message in the chat.”

Scott laughed, even though the kick had him wincing in pain. In fact, he’d taken a tick of damage from it too. So he conceded, keeping quiet and enjoying the little taste of victory in the rise he’d managed to get. He closed his eyes, relishing in the warmth the bodies surrounding him provided. 

Tomorrow he’d dig down and get his full diamond gear. He’d find Lizzie and interrogate her. From there he’d start formulating a real plan for the season and get back on track. 

He was almost asleep when Etho whispered close to his ear, “Should have warned you earlier, Scott.” 

“Hmm?” Scott murmured sleepily. 

“If you’re sleeping so close to Joel, best to keep your neck covered.”

“ETHO!” Joel shrieked. 

Scott laughed, curling up to dodge the pillow being slammed into Etho’s face. 

It was going to be an interesting season. A wild one at that.

[feline-gal]

Mobian Ed, Edd N' Eddy

[bonefall]

I tried to use search before asking, so apologies if this has already been covered, but I was wondering - what's the dynamic between humans and housepets in BB? The original books tend to frame housecat life as dull and stifling even in the eyes of housecats themselves, in line with the popular opinions among people who oppose the idea of keeping cats indoors. Is that maintained here, maybe in light of the fact that cats in this universe are highly intelligent animals whose needs are less likely to be met by the common pet owner, or are there housecats in BB who are happy with their housefolk? Are there housecats who see and bond with their housefolk as family? How well do humans meet their pets' needs, broadly speaking; does Albion hold similar perspectives and/or policies to the UK on cat care and stray management as far as indoor-outdoor?

This is where the logical conclusion of cats having been sapient all along kind of starts to clash with canon's... weird thoughts on what normal cats should be able to do

For the record: Unequivocally I advocate for keeping cats inside. Outdoor cats are bad, for the cat and for the environment. This goes for the UK too, your cat is not special, it is a killing machine, England did not evolve to accommodate millions of free predators.

(An overpopulation of predators starves and kills the excess, and then prey populations rise in turn in a natural cycle. Domestic animals are fed by humans which keeps the population artificially high, interrupting this cycle)

But, the thing is:

REAL cats are not sapient. They're animals. BB cats have human intelligence.

(Even canon... that's not a cat. Cats don't form language, or make government, or have a concept of land stewardship.)

SO here's how things are different in Albion;

Only domestic cats are sapient. Something about domestication quirked cats, specifically.

This ONLY hit cats; probably because they domesticated themselves instead of on purpose by humans.

Lynxes, servals, lions, etc, exist but are nonsapient.

Probably because of their ancestry, cats don't naturally form large, structured society. The average clowder is a loosely connected group of friends and family.

It's normal and not damaging for cats to go several months living alone, unlike a human. They don't NEED to live in groups.

So culture can die pretty quickly if a clowder is interrupted in some way. They don't have a problem with taking their closest relatives and striking out.

SEE: The Nomadic Group that BB!Jake/Sparrow is part of, Wind Coalition homesteads, the cats that live in the various farms above Ravenpaw and the Barleys.

3 - 5 is the group average. Usually half of the members will be related and kittens leave at a certain age (usually 2 or 3)

15 cats is a large clowder. Clan cats are an anomaly with densely populated "Clans."

but Clan cats are absolutely put to shame by the tribe, which has 3 Wards which are practically cat cities of 50+

The most common types of romance closer resemble BloodClan's matriarchy or Smoky's polycule. Clan cat romance is also an anomaly.

The average size of a litter is 2, as opposed to canon which is 3, and opposed to reality which is 4 - 8

They are also very unlikely to ever birth more than 6 litters. Most reproductive cats will have 2.

Like humans, they also don't have a litter at the first onset of puberty. First litters tend to come around 2 years.

So to begin with, these cats aren't like real ones. A single pair of real cats can have over a hundred children in their lives.

They also have a more drawn-out adolescence. 6 months is the START of puberty; similar to being a 13-year-old human.

But anyway, onto HOUSECATS

Unequivocally the best way of life, even for these cats.

They do have a habit of jimmying open objects, more than real cats. There is a large market for "pet aware" design, like inlaid locks on windows, chains on fridges, and jams in drawers.

However. They are just as lazy.

Feline-specialist biologists have to come up with "tricky" trials to test their intelligence. Cats do not care about pleasing humans like dogs do.

Rural areas are best for keeping these cats. They do really well on farms.

People who keep cats in car-infested or dense areas are advised to keep their cats indoors. Not only are cars and crowds a danger, but ferals are often hostile towards so much crowding.

In some ways, you can compare these cats to monkeys more than cats, with their troop structures.

AND SPEAKING OF MONKEYS...

Like monkeys, problem clowders are subject to animal control raids. It is NOT unheard of that a clowder gets territorial or starts biting people.

Usually the individual cat is captured and dealt with. Sometimes the problem is so bad that there will be a roundup.

That's excessively rare though. These are very politically unpopular, people love cats.

And cats love people! There's really bad and awful people out there, and really bad and awful cats; but they're the exception, not the rule.

There's a sentiment in the universe that dogs are direct and cats are roundabout; cats are occupied with puzzle toys and novelty, dogs like to be commanded.

They respond to music like parrots. Jessy can change a record in her owner's victrola. Her owner is a himbo and just thinks it's a trick her previous owner taught her, not stopping to question how she had an old owner who also had a victrola and taught her how to change records. In 2012

Cats are still easy to keep, in spite of all the additions. A really smart cat can be entertained with toddler toys. Most are fine with a friend and 30 mins of playtime a day.

They do a lot of sleeping.

Most cats do get neutered and spayed at 6 months. Housecats don't usually see it as a big deal, or chalk it up to the price of a good home.

Clan cats find that SHOCKING and sickening. How can you think something like that is not a big deal??

But they just... don't. BloodClan too.

Clan cats are taught to fear lots of aspects of housecat life, which feeds into their xenophobia. It wasn't always THIS bad-- it really turned for the worst under Flystar of SkyClan.

But anyway forget them for a moment

There ARE a few downsides of being a housecat. There's a total lack of agency here, for one

Bumble and Turtle Heart couldn't control their owners adopting Tom. Twolegs often take kits at a certain age, and you may never know where they went.

A human can die and not have a home for you to go to. They can be abusive or neglectful. A new one can be brought in who hates or can't be around cats.

Problems, but, not INHERENT ones y'know? Most housecats do have good homes.

Anyway, TL;DR

BB!Cats are slightly different than real cats because I am leaning into the fact that they speak a real language, with the higher intelligence that implies.

In addition, I treat Housecats as a "Culture" to fix, on the same level as the other canon groups that get treated as inferior to Clan cats (Tribe, Guardians, etc). "Culture" because, obviously, Every Single Housecat Ever doesn't share a culture lmao. But I hope that makes sense.