feline-gal

[feline-gal]

obligatory wholesome dissection jokes in the Babysitter AU

[feline-gal]

Vlad's deranged Mary Poppins phase is (briefly) back baybee

[feline-gal]

♪~Nananananananana Bat Pride~♪

[feline-gal]

"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"

The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:

I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.

The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)

The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.

Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.

Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!

(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")

At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.

While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.

Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.

The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.

It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.

Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.

Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.

Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.

Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.

The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)

[feline-gal]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[feline-gal]

Twenny-Four

Hap Birth

[feline-gal]

My slow ass couldn't get through the next chapter in time for this Friday 13th so have a title card.

Submitted Prompts #133

Johnny 13’s core is one of John Constantine’s sold-off soul fragments, which somehow - whether by it’s own volition or not - got away from it’s owner and made a whole new unlife for himself.

[feline-gal]

Driving down DeadMeme Ave

Makes for a good representation of my current fandom priorities.

[feline-gal]

For your consideration; gravity-defying ectoplasmic bodily fluids.

[feline-gal]

♻ Reverse ♻

🔄 Inverse 🔄

[feline-gal]

..Probably could have better specified the *male & female* halves of the species 😅

Yet Another Soulmate Prompt

Constantine didn't have a soulmate. He didn't have a body counter on his arm (in any sense of the term), and he had never body swapped with them. That was fine. A soulmate would slow him down. Be a liability. Plus, not everyone had a soulmate. No big deal.

But then something happened. He had a counter on his wrist. Since the number was freakishly high, his soulmate couldn't have just been born. When they swapped bodies, it was dark and cramped and uncomfortable. He tried for what must have been hours to swap back. When he finally returned to his own body, he found himself being restrained by the House of Mystery. After that experience he decided to actively resist the swap whenever he felt the pull.

Dan hadn't noticed when the counter appeared on his wrist, but it had been there even in his timeline. Not that he ever found out who it was. By the time he was interested in learning, he was unable to swap. Not that that was a surprise, he had killed a majority of the world by that point.

He hadn't even thought about swapping with his soulmate until after he was trapped inside the thermos. He figured that he could use the situation to his advantage.

He started experimenting with the limits of this new body he'd found himself in. Physically, it was rather weak, but he could feel a hidden well of power that could be useful if he figured out how to tap into it. He explored the house for a while, until he came across a library filled mostly with books on magic. Exactly what he needed to continue doing whatever he wanted.

In the back of his mind he could feel the other trying to swap back.

He started reading through the books, trying out spells. Then he found a few that were too much for the body he was in and pushed it further. The ectoplasm being created by his core would soon allow him to form outside of the physical body anyway. He wouldn't need it.

That was when he started noticing that the house was moving. By that point it was too late. The house was more proficient in magic than he was and was more than capable of preventing him from leaving it. When he was completely restrained by the house, he gave up resisting the swap. The body's owner would probably allow him to swap again when they weren't stuck inside that house.

Except they didn't. It made him wonder if his soulmate was trapped in that house similarly to how he was trapped in the thermos. Or perhaps they hated being in the thermos just as much as he did.

As much as he tried to fight it, he began to wonder who the other was, what their life was like. He began to regret not finding a mirror to see what his match looked like. He was starting to become rather curious who the universe would pair him with.

[feline-gal]

I've just been imagining Clockwork rewinding the Thermos every now and then. I want him to find out about the main ship the Hard Way™.

The first time John swaps into Dan's body while he's in the middle of punching a massive dent into the Thermos' wall probably freaks him out for a minute('oh, shit, can he break out of here?') before it promptly goes back to normal('oh, no, ok, cool, that's cool.').

I feel like there would be some difference in how the two almost-halves of the species view & treat eachother when members of one half can swap over to the other half and experience some of the shit they have to deal with.

So many little things that could all add up to some real big differences if humanity were smart about it, not enough time in the day for my slow ass to list them all off.

(I've had the accent thing in mind for a while - makes imagining swapped characters talking a challenge - another giveaway would be a change in body language & expression, John's usual lazy slouch going all stiff & rigid and his look of 'I really don't want to be here' sharpening to that of a predator assessing it's prey, that plus him taking in his new surroundings is how the ever-vigilant Batman clocked that something was up with 'John'.)

Yet Another Soulmate Prompt

Constantine didn't have a soulmate. He didn't have a body counter on his arm (in any sense of the term), and he had never body swapped with them. That was fine. A soulmate would slow him down. Be a liability. Plus, not everyone had a soulmate. No big deal.

But then something happened. He had a counter on his wrist. Since the number was freakishly high, his soulmate couldn't have just been born. When they swapped bodies, it was dark and cramped and uncomfortable. He tried for what must have been hours to swap back. When he finally returned to his own body, he found himself being restrained by the House of Mystery. After that experience he decided to actively resist the swap whenever he felt the pull.

Dan hadn't noticed when the counter appeared on his wrist, but it had been there even in his timeline. Not that he ever found out who it was. By the time he was interested in learning, he was unable to swap. Not that that was a surprise, he had killed a majority of the world by that point.

He hadn't even thought about swapping with his soulmate until after he was trapped inside the thermos. He figured that he could use the situation to his advantage.

He started experimenting with the limits of this new body he'd found himself in. Physically, it was rather weak, but he could feel a hidden well of power that could be useful if he figured out how to tap into it. He explored the house for a while, until he came across a library filled mostly with books on magic. Exactly what he needed to continue doing whatever he wanted.

In the back of his mind he could feel the other trying to swap back.

He started reading through the books, trying out spells. Then he found a few that were too much for the body he was in and pushed it further. The ectoplasm being created by his core would soon allow him to form outside of the physical body anyway. He wouldn't need it.

That was when he started noticing that the house was moving. By that point it was too late. The house was more proficient in magic than he was and was more than capable of preventing him from leaving it. When he was completely restrained by the house, he gave up resisting the swap. The body's owner would probably allow him to swap again when they weren't stuck inside that house.

Except they didn't. It made him wonder if his soulmate was trapped in that house similarly to how he was trapped in the thermos. Or perhaps they hated being in the thermos just as much as he did.

As much as he tried to fight it, he began to wonder who the other was, what their life was like. He began to regret not finding a mirror to see what his match looked like. He was starting to become rather curious who the universe would pair him with.

[feline-gal]

On the first point; a fun fact about Constantine is that he's actually resistant to omniscience, which, along with Dan's whole being-disconnected-from-time thing, means it's entirely possible Clockwork has no idea that the two are even soulmates.

Alot of what you talked about in the other two points has occurred to me, I just have to get around to writing it all down in something resembling proper story format 😅

..And also stop getting caught up in worldbuilding weeds - like 'who all's swapping with who and how does that change their usual stories', 'what does sexism, racism, queerphobia & etc look like here'(it wouldn't really be a Constantine story if humanity wasn't it's own worst enemy), 'what does the Amazons' culture look like in this world where a local lady can swap out with a dude from the other side of the planet whenever', etc. etc. etc.

Aaanyways, have a little scene I don't have anywhere specific to put ATM.

. … . … . … .

*RI~I~ING!*

Dan's focus breaks and he whips his head around to look for the source of the sudden noise, causing the spell he was practicing to go wild and zip chaotically all about the library before crashing through a window.

*RI~I~ING!*

His eyes finally lock onto a phone & answering machine and he tromps toward it.

*RI~I~ING!*

He moves to deny the call a bit too late and it goes to voicemail with a beep.

“Ye've reached the phone of occult detective John Constantine,” John's voice begins drawling out the automated message, thickly accented with some variation of British that Dan can't place “I'm currently either too busy or shitfaced to answer right now. Leave yer message after the beep. Hope whatever yer callin' about in't terribly urgent.”

Another beep, followed by another voice, this one whining about a demon or something, at which point Dan grabs the device's power cord and unplugs it.

Yet Another Soulmate Prompt

Constantine didn't have a soulmate. He didn't have a body counter on his arm (in any sense of the term), and he had never body swapped with them. That was fine. A soulmate would slow him down. Be a liability. Plus, not everyone had a soulmate. No big deal.

But then something happened. He had a counter on his wrist. Since the number was freakishly high, his soulmate couldn't have just been born. When they swapped bodies, it was dark and cramped and uncomfortable. He tried for what must have been hours to swap back. When he finally returned to his own body, he found himself being restrained by the House of Mystery. After that experience he decided to actively resist the swap whenever he felt the pull.

Dan hadn't noticed when the counter appeared on his wrist, but it had been there even in his timeline. Not that he ever found out who it was. By the time he was interested in learning, he was unable to swap. Not that that was a surprise, he had killed a majority of the world by that point.

He hadn't even thought about swapping with his soulmate until after he was trapped inside the thermos. He figured that he could use the situation to his advantage.

He started experimenting with the limits of this new body he'd found himself in. Physically, it was rather weak, but he could feel a hidden well of power that could be useful if he figured out how to tap into it. He explored the house for a while, until he came across a library filled mostly with books on magic. Exactly what he needed to continue doing whatever he wanted.

In the back of his mind he could feel the other trying to swap back.

He started reading through the books, trying out spells. Then he found a few that were too much for the body he was in and pushed it further. The ectoplasm being created by his core would soon allow him to form outside of the physical body anyway. He wouldn't need it.

That was when he started noticing that the house was moving. By that point it was too late. The house was more proficient in magic than he was and was more than capable of preventing him from leaving it. When he was completely restrained by the house, he gave up resisting the swap. The body's owner would probably allow him to swap again when they weren't stuck inside that house.

Except they didn't. It made him wonder if his soulmate was trapped in that house similarly to how he was trapped in the thermos. Or perhaps they hated being in the thermos just as much as he did.

As much as he tried to fight it, he began to wonder who the other was, what their life was like. He began to regret not finding a mirror to see what his match looked like. He was starting to become rather curious who the universe would pair him with.

[feline-gal]

King boy

[feline-gal]

[feline-gal]

Happy belated birthday, Vlad, have some kids.

[feline-gal]

Meeting of the Maddies

"My kids are all a bunch of superpowered alien animals."

"My son's dead."