#ff8 rare pairings

[lunarsilkscreen]

Final Fantasy 8 mechanical redesign

Inspired by FF7-R, what could a remake of FF8 look like mechanically? FF8 is well known for its GF junction system (Guardian Force, not Waifu) and Magical Draw system, and to a lesser extent; it's Devour system.

Unlike our heroes in FF-15, Squall and Co enjoyed eating their prey raw and still mooing.

Balamb Garden also features a "Battle Zoo" full of dangerous monsters that its students hide inside when they want to get a little alone time from the rigors of being students at a battle academy.

FF8 is also the first FF game to have designed it's own card game as a mini-game, where in order to collect all the cards you need to battle friends and former foes.

Doing so also changes the rules of the card game as you move between regions.

In intense survival situations; Rare Cards doubled as an emergency meal ration for the hungry.

These mechanics, along with the Chocobo Forest side-quests make up the core of the FF8 game loop.

Unlike older games, you can't buy weapons. Instead you would bring materials like old rusty screws to a blacksmith who would modify your weapon for you.

And unlike other FFs, your summons or GFs, would work as both your defensive and offensive equipment. Defeating the entire purpose of leveling up, as leveling up would only serve to make the enemies stronger.

You could also read old magazines to learn limit breaks and of secret side-quests. Like resident aliens and where to find them.

So how could we take all that and improve on it a bit?

Well, the first thing to look at is the "Draw" system. Im this game, the magic system is replaced with Draw. Magic is a limited resource that you use like items, and can collect either from "Draw Points" (that are the intersection of ley lines) or from enemies.

You can then equip the magic to your GF.

Which really made the player either avoid using magic all together, or be incredibly selective on when using Magic.

But since the battle system was mostly either Summon Spam or Limit Break spam, casting magic was the worst thing you could actually do in the game.

I like the idea behind Draw system, you pull "Magic" and store it for use later. However, because it works like items, what is the difference between this system and just using items?

It also vibes well with the idea of Mako in the previous installment. Making a connected idea in the overall FF franchise about how magic (and materia) works.

It gets difficult because you equip your magic, and then don't use your strongest spells. Because your strongest spells are hard to find, and also are the strongest equipment.

We'll come back to this idea.

Because using your Eidolons as equipment, and because the two options players tend to focus in battle are "Use Limit Break" or "Use Summon" we can see these two options as our core battle loop.

Like the FF7-R, we can liken FF8 limit breaks to the skills used that require ATB gauge to use. We can also give the GFs abilities that also use ATB gauge.

But here's where we can change it up. Unlike FF7 where your summons becomes a playable party member, FF8 is better when they feel like they're powering up the Player.

Equipping a summon then, should be evident in the characters attacks. It should change how the character is played. Even if only just visually and in strength.

So when Squall attacks with his gun blade, he should get bonuses from leviathan that he's junctioned. That way we're not dedicated to summon spam taking away from the overall battle system.

The "Trigger" mechanic here was unique to Squall and his gun blade (or at least seemingly unique) it should be given to every character, or an alternative should be given. And this should *also* pair with junctioned summons.

When we go to a blacksmith for better weapons; we should be able to create multiple different pieces of the weapons that can be assembled by the player. Each piece would offer different bonuses and change the way the character approaches battle.

This would include the *ammo* that Irvine uses. (And this ammo sub-system should also be given to Squall) Later, each should get an upgrade that allows them to cast magic as part of their main attack. Because what is the point of a world where technology and magic is mixed if not in the weapons?

A spell then could be similar to how it functioned in FF15, but I suspect it should be more in depth.

Using the energy drawn from draw points and enemies as a resource to make other things (like weapon parts and also to empower your GFs) would lessen the strain on the player.

Doing this could also give the player access to a handful of spells they might actually use. However, I dislike the core FF15 magic system and didn't really use that during my playthrough.

If we liken Spells to ammunition, then they should be used like ammunition instead of grenades. And the weaponry should reflect this

So with the "Draw" system, we're drawing spell components instead of spells themselves. Since this is components, it can also allow for breaking up hidden GFs into multiple parts.

Allowing for construction of certain GFs, similar to how weapons could be constructed.

Did I get everything? Oh the cards and Chocobos...

The question I ask about these is "How can we integrate them into the main game?" And "Should we leave the ability to use them as M.R.E.s? (meals ready to eat)

Which allows the players to convert certain cards into rare or unique items, which is an ability for the original end game as once the party progresses past a certain point; there is no purpose for cards anymore. So why not just eat them?

And what if the "Devour" system?

Devour is a core mechanic of the Blu Mage, but since every character is a Blu Mage thanks to the draw mechanic, this is more of a grindy addition for completionists than it is a mechanic.

That one of your party members also happens to be a Blu Mage when it comes to her limit breaks, also kinda muddies the waters here.

Quistis->Draw->Devour

Perhaps each character should have a core mechanic that they are the best at doing. And "Devour" should instead be an upgrade to "Draw" that captures the entire monster instead of just one or two bits of energy at a time?

In this way it brings it more in line with the way players play the actual game. Where Limit Breaks are just skills the player uses. Instead of "Rare" one or two time occurrences in a fight like the rest of the franchise.

There's also an interesting mechanic in a limit break that the character "Selphie" has which is a slot machine for powerful magic. Effectively "creating magic on the fly" and doesn't require the draw or magic system.

This could be expanded I think. If continuing with the "Each Character has a core mechanic they're the best at."

I think for the "Draw System" there could also be the ability to absorb defeated enemies, which may work differently from draw on the surface.

*or* we could simply turn draw into a command that instantly cast an ability that an enemy *could* cast. And Quistis is just the only one who knows how to use those abilities later.

That way there is less of a focus on farming enemies.

Then the sorceress who can actually cast Magic seemingly without any resources would feel *more* menacing.

Since the players are more limited in their own magic. This would also allow for a change in How Rinoa acts at a later point in the game. When she is corrupted by Sorceress Edea, effectively becoming a puppet and sorceress herself.

Expanding her ability repetoire. And then giving the interactions with the white seed, and [redacted] who teaches Rinoa better techniques to control her power.

Then with Limit Breaks, we see an ultimate ability that is combined with what used to be a summon. So when Zell does a Leviathan upper cut (I really like this particular iteration of Leviathan in this game specifically) we see Leviathan motifs with an ultimate upper cut.

Making the limit breaks feel more like *an ultimate* and less like *a regular skill with a paywall*.

When the player party switches to somebody else's memory, this could *also* be further linked because they're using effectively they same GFs. And this would be a theme reusable with the current *GFs eat memories* idea that we know and love about FF8, while giving credence to remembering somebody elses memories despite spending memories in order to continue fighting.

And after flashing back to historical events, the characters could then *remember* new abilities. Since they came as part of the "flashback."

But what about the cards!?

I honestly don't know... The overall inventory system and store system and everything about FF8 seems intended to try to go about a different way of doing things, which made all the systems kind of lame in comparison to every other game. And the worst offender was the Card system that limited certain items to melting down cardboard cards into different items.

What're they using to foil these cards!?

The cards also seem to be legendary and synced to the Draw system. As if they were divine items that the humans just decided they could be used to gamble with.

Seemingly both *human created* AND *divinely motifed*.

Perhaps the card game needs some in-game lore. (And the draw ability could be modified into the [card ability] as well)

I think that since [Draw] is the core defining feature of FF8, it should be more well thought out and integrated into the rest of the mechanics. I feel like this was the original intent, but creators fought over a complete Draw system and reusing more familiar RPG elements.

Since the opportunity is here though; completing the draw system and fleshing out this ability that every SeeD member uses religiously should be a priority. This feature should be integrated into everything the SeeD does, they should eat, breathe, and live the [Draw Life].

And that should be reflected in the mechanics of the game. And so it shouldn't feel like an after thought, or "That thing you do before you fight anything".

It should be a part of who the main characters are.

[lori0018]

I was tagged by @shubaka (forever ago 😅) thanks lovely ✨

Three Ships

KimChay: my babies my obsession the ship that got me to post 100k of words on AO3

KimPorsche: the rare pair that lives rent free in my head

Cid/Clive: my latest brainrot

First Ship

Squall/Seifer: my og OTP (that I got into back when ff8 was new because I'm just that old 🤣)

Last Song

Black Tie by Jeff Satur (I have it on repeat, it's a problem)

Last Movie

I think it was Fast X?

Currently watching

Doing a rewatch of KinnPorsche the series and of Triage over on the Kindergarten Mafia server

Currently reading

All the wonderful stories that came out of the KP big bang and the Ghostly Gift Exchange 💖 (I have so much to catch up on)

Last Thing I Wrote

Last story I finished is my Ghostly Gift

Last thing I wrote is a scene for my KimChayTops story

Tagging whoever wants to take a crack at this 😁

[ffviii-rare-pairs]

There was a young girl around his age that was interesting. She was quiet, shy and only shouted monosyllables in front of those she wasn’t close with. But with Squall, she said more and he always found himself saying more than whatever to her.

Is this what a crush is? Squall smiled to himself. 

This is Squall’s first Valentine’s Day with someone he likes.

[fheythfully]

fanfic author meme

my friend tagged me to answer all the questions in a fanfic author meme, and it is primarily for the Final Fantasy XIII fandom, so it’s located under a read more. :)

Fanfic Ask Meme

A: How did you come up with the title to [fic of your choice]?

Most of my fic names come from lyrics in songs that have to do with the story content, no matter how vague. Poetry also makes its way in there, and on the very rare occasion, something I come up with that sounds pleasantly appropriate.

A Series of Firsts was the only one in the past five or so years to get a title that accurately and simply described the story, something which I typically never do.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

No, actually. I write primarily angst and I have a very satisfying and healthy life, so… it all just comes out from somewhere? I am not entirely sure where.

C: What character do you identify with most?

Most recently, maybe Makoto from Persona 5? Growing up I felt that I had all these expectations on me from my family and the adults in my education (which I totally dug myself into by being smart and eager to please) and I always wanted to just say “fuck it” and stop caring about pleasing others and being the perfect student. Which took me until my third year in university to actually achieve but hey, better late than never.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with cause I’m a vampire smile (you’ll meet a sticky end)?

The title comes directly from the song ‘Vampire Smile’ by Kyla La Grange and it entirely fits so well for that fic. I definitely had it on replay the entire time I was writing.

E: If you wrote a sequel to Serendipity, what would it be about?

EDITED because I wrote for A Series of Firsts instead oops.

Serendipity would have a much shorter sequel - just lots of the gang being happy, of Fang and Vanille traipsing around the world, Yeul living in a big city and being amazed by all of it, Serah and Snow in a small French village with rose bushes and a kid or two and Light living in the same village with Hope being the Cool Aunt. Snow would have a motorcycle (and try to modify it to have a baby seat). Sazh would have a farm with chickens and livestock and live with his son and finally get the life he deserves. Maybe he runs into the reborn version of his wife and she remembers him. And live happily ever after. 

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

I don’t have one :( I even went through my favorites on both FFnet and AO3. I just like anything that makes me cry, and I cry easily, and sad fics make me happy.

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

I rarely read crack but an amazing one I’ve been reading is Sincerely, Me by Ignis_Sassentia and SharkbaitHooHaHa on AO3. It is a FF15 texting fic and just phenomenal.

H: How would you describe your style?

Lots of run on sentences and disjointed narration. I prefer writing drabbles because I feel like that format lets me get away with using the style better. I like using metaphors and a good balance between simple and more flowery language.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Angst. All the angst. Also, if a fandom has some sort of divine figure in it, then you can bet it’s gonna be worked into my fics – usually as either a passive or active antagonist. This is a big reason why I still love writing for FF13 so much, because thank you, Bhunivelze. And Etro. Mwyn too. I need to write more Mwyn.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to any Bhunivelze!Hope and Etro!Light fic.

I said to the sun, tell me about the big bang is my favourite out of the few (two?) I’ve written where both take after the divinity. Alternate ending to that one would be, their friends catch on and end them before they can succeed in destroying and recreating the world.

For just Bhuni!Hope, of which I wrote more, eve as my latest one – I considered Light actually realizing what’s happening within the fic itself and being the one to kill him. She would realize this in the midst of a relationship Bhuni!Hope has succeeded in constructing with her, and there would be lots of tears, and horror, and the symbolic knife stuck in Hope’s torso.

Gosh, I just can’t give you guys happy things, can I?

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

The premise in A Series of Firsts, where Hope and Snow have to come to terms with failing the world, and Light dying and becoming the Goddess, and then having to witness Light and Serah as children and then take them in, and do all in their power to prevent Orphan, and having them be family and Hope has a child with Light and then… they fail. And have to start all over again.

I’ve always appreciated time loops.

L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I discussed an idea with RainbowSerenity about a texting crack fic in the new world about the gang placing bets on how long it will take for Light and Hope to get together, and just being little shits in general (with a very liberal use of emoticons) and then Light and Hope are just there, like… should we tell them? When do you think they’ll realize we’ve been together for months now?

Also, an appearance by Bhunivelze via repeated friend requests to Light’s Facebook through a multitude of accounts. The sentence “how the hell does he have service in the deep ass of space!?” is written down in my phone.

I have to be in a very specific mood to write something of this sort, haha.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

The AU fic above. Hope finding the temple with Light’s statue in 13-2, and ritually visiting it before it becomes inaccessible. Also, a fic I will shortly be releasing on – once again – Bhuni!Hope.

Outside of the 13 fandom, I have further ideas for my 14 OCs and how they meet, fall in love, and then go their own ways. An idea for an original fantasy story I’ve been sitting on (I have the entire plot written out, too…).

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

If someone could read my mind and finish that one FF8 fic I started in 2007 and never finished, despite rewriting like three times, it would be a miracle. The OC I created for it has grown alongside me all this time and I treasure her deeply, even though her story will never be properly finished.

O: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

I usually start with a plot idea I want to write about and then the characters usually write themselves.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

The way I write my oneshots, the most planning I ever do is I have the final sentence in mind and then I have to write to get to that point. When I write (wrote) multi-chaptered stories, I typically had the plot mapped out and sometimes things would just write themselves in the process.

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

That FF8 fic. I don’t even want to talk about it, haha. Also a Narnia fic I was writing and had like, two sequels planned for. I am just horrible at finishing things.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Not really? I always write however and whatever I want. I really admire attica on FFnet, though – their writing takes me breath away.

Also Sylvia Plath and E.E Cummings make my heart skip a beat.

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Bhuni!Hope, and Etro!Light. As has been made obvious.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Whenever Snow is being written as useless or dumb. That’s my biggest one.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet.

…Light and Snow, very brief in the original 13. I actually had something written down when the game first came out, but never properly wrote it.

Don’t kill me. It would be very sad where they share their angst over Serah and then realize what they’re doing and part ways.

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?

Yeul. YEEUUULLL. I love Yeul. So much.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Specific ones.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

All of them. Primarily, Light, Hope, and Yeul.

Y: A character you want to protect.

All of them. From me.

Z: Major character death--do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?

I love reading it if it’s written well, and I’ve never written specifics just background plot. There aren’t any deaths I can’t tolerate, because if done well, it can throw things into a nice twist.

[ideahat-universe]

So it’s come to this. Unlike the Critic I don’t relish talking about Spoony because Spoony brought me so much entertainment. I am one of those users who feel really sad about Spoony’s downfall. I objectively liked him the most out of the Channel Awesome crew and I did indeed put up with his behavior which from the very beginning with his FF8 review I considered to be very bullish and caustic and no. I don’t believe that Lupa didn’t conspire with Scarlet. It’s a guarantee that she did. 

Scarlet was a dragon and not the good kind. What I want to know is what Lupa got out of it? Was it jealously? Does she not like Spoony’s style? Or is she a bitch? Well I don’t know those things for certain I do know that she’s basically unwatchable and is worse than Phelous who is so painfully fake in his videos that it hurts to even hear him emote for the camera. So for her to get one of the best users canned from Channel Awesome over what was a mundane comment from him that had nothing to do with her on a month old post is some incredible bullshit. I would just fume. 

I owe a lot to Spoony. The Ultima Saga is not only an amazing series that far outshines the final fantasy reviews but it’s a great work of philosophy (even the degradation it faces near the end of the series has some philosophical merit to it). 

You want to know how deep the rabbit holes go for me? I became a DnD player because of Spoony. I loved the Counter Monkey stories. My favorites are the Thief’s world two parter and the story about Tandem the Spoony’s run in with the Alice and Wonderland monsters. 

In the last year I found Roll20 and after a couple campaigns I have to be honest. I almost love it as much as video games. Maybe even more because I get to call all the shots, it’s just not as flashy. 

On top of that I turned the homebrew rules that I created for our games into applications so I and anyone that plays with me can have an easy way to create a character and just jump right in!

It’s a lot of fun and I wouldn’t have considered doing that if it wasn’t for him. It’s such a damn shame that he has walled himself off from the world and spends time ranting about Trump and cosplaying as his dog which I don’t think is okay. Dogs have their own personalities and identities. Pretending to be them is impersonation and it’s kind of creepy if you really go deep into the persona. 

Spoony is romanticizing his dog. Does that clear things up? 

Okay, so the old document I had about Spoony focused on what was starting to wear him out which was his own popularity as it so happens. I go into a deep dive on how fanbase are only a facilimie of an actual friend and if you can’t control or understand where the line is on a fanbase they can hurt you and while I don’t think that applies as much to Spoony as I thought I do believe it’s true for many other things *Cough*StevenUniverse!*Cough* I don’t believe it’s true for Spoony. I think at the end of the day we were actually too loyal to him but Spoony is an adult and should have figured out what his limits are. All he had to do was admit that he didn’t want to review final fantasy, he should have just admitted that he didn’t plan on making a movie, he should have just admitted that it’s too difficult to have a high production value for these silly reviews and do it all alone, and he should just admit that Miles made a mistake and you forgive him for that because he’s your brother and you love him. 

He could have if he was a better man. But he’s not. He never was and that’s the worst part. He put on shoes that he couldn’t fit and laced them around his ankles. He’s lost the strength to lift the heels and he’s stuck forever in that pair until the inevitable happens.....

Noah Antwiler and the Spoony experiment

So often do we strive for greatness. In the wake of the internet, thousands of people have done whatever they can to have the sort of popularity where the only glory you get is saying that people like you for something that in all honesty; isn't really that incredible an action. Animators toil on flash, artists churn out web comics and drawings, Musicians sing songs and play music, and writers write. All are endeavors that are worthwhile to expand upon and if the internet helps you then so be it. But the power of popularity is very dastardly despite the hordes of people who pine for it. Will you create for expression? Are you gunning for a contract to pay the bills and finance an expensive dream? Or are you just a regular person who had power thrust upon them and you have no way of handling it?

Power corrupts the weak and emboldens the wicked. And for some. It simply crushes them.  It seems like cowardice to be afraid of popularity or worried about how a community can control you but there’s an argument to be made for the tyranny of fandom. 

Fans are truly a neutral force. Without them you could very well be nothing. If you were interested in fame or fortune or even popularity you need them. They make you exist. And yet. They are the worst people to listen to and put your faith in. They will corrupt your mind with their desires. They will berate you for doing something they disapprove of. They will thrust change upon you while simultaneously disliking all that is different. It is odd. For these fans love you. Or at least. That is what they say. They do become attached to you. But they do not love you. As terrible as it sounds. What is a fan truly?

Fan: A person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular sport, art or entertainment form, or famous person.

That sounds endearing doesn't it? And yet it isn't really. It is very fickle and destructive. A few devoted fans are quaint and nice and you can acknowledge and like a few fans. But once the numbers become unruly and large fans devolve from individuals that like your work to an amorphous creature that wants to control you. It is two faced and wicked. Hurting you and then praising you in the same breath. Its words become emptier the larger it gets and it seems more thoughtless and monstrous as it progresses. It manages to fight itself over nothing and then take the fight to you regardless of its importance.

Considering oneself as a fan has become a taboo to the conservative and careful. But being a fan is nothing bad. However there is something to the admiration that I find is rarely established.

Love consumes. That sounds disturbing and a bit rude but it does in a way. When you love someone you take on a bit of them and they become a bit of you. Hopefully you will prosper from this and you will grow and be happier for it. But that is love between two people. What happens when you love a thing that is not real? That can never be a person? Madness. You will succumb to madness pure and simple. I do not mean that in some endearing farcical way in which you take pride for an aloof behavior. When you let an object consume you. You will lose yourself. It cannot truly give anything back to you. And you cannot truly give anything to it. The creators decide the fate of the creation and to them it is valuable and in some ways a boon to themselves and their minds. But for you it's just an object to be perceived. When you get caught up in something you cannot affect or control it warps you. You fight for its rights. You defend it against all competitors zealously. You get despondent with it while still feeling some attachment to it. You find yourself caring deeply for it. That is the nightmare of every artist. 

You have to be a powerful person to handle such a burden. Noah Antwiler is not powerful. He is a rather modest person. Not in personality. But the core of who he is isn't really someone who intends to have fans who think highly of him. Does he appreciate having fans? Yes but it's not love. Its tolerance and acceptance. He was just a simple YouTube reviewer who wanted to get into some riffing. Wrote articles here and there. He was just normal. He wasn't shaping to be anyone special and it was probably for the best. But popularity was thrust upon him. He became popular. And he was met at the crossroads. Make this work for him. Or refuse the call. He took the power and put the Spoony Experiment into full swing.

His attempts at collaborating and interacting with other reviewers show that he at least appreciates the virtues of networking. His work started out extremely modest but due to the desires to evolve and grow. He, acknowledging his inner artist and the call for power, expands the reviews and his technique. Granting them stories. Adding in skits. Becoming actor, writer, riffer, and reviewer all at once. It's something he enjoys doing. And yet. It seems to be eating him away. He wouldn't be the first person to suffer from turning an ability into a job. But I do not think Noah will last long like this.

I will come out and say it. This power was not meant for him. He cannot handle the demands. His body is weak and needs peace. The levels he has pushed himself for his craft, and the expectations of his fans and the demands they thrust upon him may make Noah's life very short. Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy Noah’s work. He brings me a lot of entertainment and laughter. But I care more about his well being and he isn't well. I'll get along just fine without the Spoony Experiment. But I’d hate to feel as if he pushed himself over the edge because I liked him a little too much for my own good.

It's his life though. Ultimately he can decide his own fate and we as fans can't really encourage him to do anything. It's not our right. To his friends and family Spoony is a person. But to us Spoony is no different than Sponge bob Square pants or Shrek. Just an object for which we show devotion through money and attention.

It's not worth it. The power isn't worth it. Let go of the power and seek peace. End the experiment and return to what you was before. It won't be a fantastic or glamorous life, but you may find happiness.

[ssnakey-b]

My first fanfic

Right, I haven’t had my Tumblr account for a long time, I don’t have many followers (a whopping three and all of them are porn spambots) so I don’t know how many people will read this, I’m kind of banking on the tags working their magic.

Anyway, as the title of this entry suggests, I have written and published my first fanfic. If you look at the stuff I’ve been reblogging, it probably won’t shock you that it’s FF8-related.

It’s a one-shot, slightly under 3200 words and I’m pretty happy with it so I really hope people enjoy it. I have already posted it to a bunch of places and I decided to let it a little before posting it here.

It is set during the train ride after the group escapes TImber, Squall has a lot on his mind and hopes to clear the fog by chatting with Quistis over a game of Triple Triad. You can find it on:

Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12295279/1/Open-Hand

Archive Of Our Own: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9107866

DeviantArt (where I also post drawings): http://neije.deviantart.com/art/Open-Hand-FF8-654941757

And if for whatever reason you can’t or don’t want to read it on any of those, you can read it below under the “read more” thingie. If you enjoy it, please please please share it with other people, comment / review it and do not be afraid to give me tips or criticism to help me improve and I really would like to get more into writing. Don’t worry, I’m not the type to think someone is being patronizing for offering advice.

Anyway, to anyone reading this, enjoy!

“This train is now leaving Timber Railroad Station”. As the little chime played and the train rumbled off, Squall finally started to calm down a bit. They were safe. Well, not in immediate danger anyway, which was a step up. Still, he could feel how tense the atmosphere was. Zell was quiet, a change of attitude Squall would normally welcome, but he knew it showed how exhausted and distressed he was. Linoa took a deep breath while petting Angelo, trying to calm her nerves and Selphie was pacing anxiously. Only Quistis seemed to be keeping her composure. The experience from previous missions, Squall guessed.

Squall thought he had to say something. He wasn't much for conversation; even he could see how awkward he could be in social situations but as the designated leader of the squad, he felt it was his duty to try and keep the team's spirits up. And if he was completely honest with himself, he was starting to have a growing respect for them after everything they'd been through and seeing them soldier on with no hesitation. Mustering all of his inner strength, he reached deep inside his mind and said:

“We can do this.”

It's the thought that counts, Squall told himself, hoping that showing effort to speak up would be enough on its own to cheer everyone up. Unfortunately, it was diminished somewhat by Selphie cutting him off and loudly asking to be allowed in the next car. Squall remembered how enthusiastic she'd been about visiting the train  they took to get to Timber and figured there was no reason not to agree, especially if it could help her unwind and so he used his ticket to grant her access.

“Awesome! Thanks a lot, chief!”

Squall nearly winced at that. “Chief”! This had better not become a habit. It was so ridiculous. He had no more field experience than her or Zell. There was no good reason for him to be the team leader.

Quistis, however, seemed more amused by the remark than he was and after a small chuckle, she turned to Linoa:

“I really hope the Owls are going to be okay. They're the ones we have to thank for finding us a way out of there.”

“Don't worry about them, they've been through worse!” Linoa replied. “I know we look like a clueless ragtag group of misfits and... I guess we are... but we're very resourceful and we can always rely on other resistance groups”.

“That's good to know,” said Quistis with a nod. “I'd like to at least get Zone something as thanks, though”.

“Well, he does like dirty magazines,” Linoa answered coyly.

“I'll keep that in mind, then,” said Quistis after another chuckle. “Well, there's quite a way to go, better make ourselves comfortable. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the SeeD cabin.” As the door to the next car slid open, Quistis gave Squall a playful look.

“Oh and, thanks for opening the door, chief!”

Squall rubbed his eyes, knowing that it was probably too late to escape the moniker now. He tried to relax, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He saw how down Zell looked and briefly considered having a word with him, but he remembered his previous attempt to brighten the mood and decided that it would only make things worse.

Instead, he started to mull over the events of the day. Everything since this morning had been insane. He had just woken up when he, Selphie and Zell were assigned their first mission despite only graduating the previous day, without a single veteran SeeD to oversee them. The decision was so rushed that Cid couldn't even give him a full briefing, only giving him the slightest info on where to go and who their client would be. It was painfully obvious that this whole thing had been thrown together at the last minute.

Then they got embroiled in a plot to kidnap Vinzer Deling, the bloodthirsty dictator of Galbadia, fought a zombie doppleganger instead, discovered that Cid wrote a contract so vague that for all Squall knew, he, Zell and Selphie may well be stuck with this assignment for the rest of their lives and now they were on the run from the Galbadian government.

Squall was  dragged out of his thoughts as he felt a pair of eyes staring at him. He looked in Linoa's direction, only for her to suddenly look away, unconvincingly pretending she was looking at a map of the railway system. There was still a bit of tension between them as their opposite philosophies coupled with their strong and stubborn personalities had recently had explosive results. He went back to his introspection.

On top of everything else, Seifer decided to do the dumbest thing in his life and try to capture Deling himself, only to then leave with the sorceress, so they couldn't know if he was even still alive. Zell spilled the beans about them being SeeDs, Quistis suddenly showed up, the Forrest Owls' HQ was destroyed...

So many things had happened in such a short amount of time. Too many to think about. He couldn't focus on any of them, couldn't make an informed decision and he hated that. He needed a distraction, something that would help him take things one at a time, reboot his brain. Quistis. The one person that could get more than two words in a row out of him and the one person he might possibly admit to considering a friend. He had to talk to her about something. Anything. And it just so happened he had something to tell her.

He slowly made his way towards the SeeD cabin, once again feeling Linoa's gaze as he walked by her. In the corridor, he saw Selphie looking out the window much like during their previous trip. “Hi, Squall!” she chirped as she noticed him enter. He ignored her, not wanting to give any conversation the potential to start, and walked inside the cabin. “Gee, a real ray of sunshine, this guy,” Selphie thought as she went back to contemplating the landscape.

As the door closed behind him, Squall already felt a little bit better from the sudden quiet. Quistis looked up from a months-old magazine she'd been reading. SeeDs didn't travel by train that frequently, so agencies were in no rush to steadily supply the cabins with fresh literature, not to mention that with Deling's tight grasp on the media, obtaining up-to-date information was not an easy task. Squall thought that Quistis must have been a special kind of bored to pass the time reading articles she'd probably read a long time ago back in Balamb. He stood there for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say. Much to his relief, Quistis broke the silence:

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

As stellar as the conversation was, Squall felt he had to add something. “Do you wanna... play cards or something?”.

Quistis was pleasantly surprised by the offer, although it was true that Triple Triad was the only kind of social activity Squall seemed to happily partake in. And she could tell it wasn't out of competitiveness either because he sucked at it, at least by her standards. Poor Squall had no clue about her secret.

“Sure,” she said with a smile, tossing the magazine to the side and pulling out a game board. Triple Triad was massively popular among among military groups, including the SeeD, so each cabin was fitted with a foldable board and even a deck of cards, although Quistis and Squall never left the Garden without their own.

“I dare hope the people of Timber haven't corrupted you yet and you still play using Balambian rules, the way Hyne intended?” said Quistis with a smile, setting up the board next to her on the couch.

“Hm,” was Squall's reply as he sat down to face her. Quistis took a gil form her purse.

“Heads or tails?” she asked.

“Tails,” answered Squall. Quistis flipped the coin, caught it and placed it on the back of her hand. “Tails, you go first”.

Unsurprisingly, Quistis' hand was much better than Squall's. On the rare occasions he actually managed to win a good card, he usually lost it to her almost immediately. Then again, his mind really wasn't into the game, as evidenced when he placed his first card with one of the weakest numbers completely exposed. If Quistis didn't know any better, she might have thought he was luring her into a trap.

She laid down her own card and placed a token of her colour on Squall's, signifying a capture. Squall placed his next card almost immediately and in an equally dumb move. This wasn't right. Squall usually at least tried to play decently and talked a little while playing. In fact, Quistis had a sneaking suspicion that the main reason he played Triple Triad at all was so he had an excuse to chat with people without having to admit that he enjoyed it, the horror. On top of that, she could feel him look at her from behind his hand and hide behind his cards when she looked back.

“Come on, Squall, just spit it out.”

“What?”

“You clearly have something on your mind and you're being even more quiet than usual. It's super awkward.”

Squall stayed silent for a short time, considering how to start saying what he had to say, or even whether to say anything at all. But then again, why did he go out of his way to go meet her if he wasn't going to say anything?

“It's just... I... I'm sorry.”

Quistis looked at him in confusion. It was unusual for Squall to apologize for anything, and it seemed even more surprising considering she didn't remember him offending her in any way. Not recently at least.

“For what?” she asked.

“For the way I treated you last night.” He paused for a second, realizing what he said and finding it incredible that it was only last night. Actually, it was this morning, come to think of it. “It... it sucked”. Quistis felt a bit relieved. She was surprised he even still thought about it.

“It's alright, don't worry about it” she said with a reassuring smile. “My behaviour wasn't exactly the best either, trying to cry on one of my students' shoulder on the night of his graduation”.

“The thing is, I always want to be direct and frank. I hate it when people sugarcoat things and weigh it down with pointless courtesies... but I also want to be fair. And I wasn't. I was just being a dick. Don't get me wrong, I haven't changed my mind about what I said, but I should have put it better. I guess what I'm trying to say is... it's pointless to regret what could have been. We can't do anything about that. We can only do something about what is, so if you can't be an instructor, then be the best SeeD you can.”

Quistis was now looking at him with wide eyes. It was very rare for Squall to open up like this. It was becoming obvious to her that the weight of this first mission was heavy for him. She had to admit it was a difficult one, especially for a rookie.

“Look... it's okay, really. It didn't make me mad at you. I'm surprised it bothered you so much.” She wanted to try to lighten things up a bit. “And besides... I figured you were just in a bad mood because a cute girl had just made you lose your cool and forced you to admit that there are some things that even you find fun.”

Squall grimaced. Partly because of the teasing and partly because he couldn't deny there was some truth to it. He was often taken off guard by how well Quistis seemed to understand him.

“And now she owns ya!” she added, staring right at him with a cocky smile. Evidently she was aware of the terms of their contract.

“Until Timber is independent, yeah” Squall clarified.

“Which might as well be forever.”

“Don't remind me,” said Squall with a sigh.

“Oh come on!”

“What?”

“Don't even pretend you're upset that you have to stay around her!”

“What?” Squall was growing increasingly annoyed.

“You like her! It's obvious!”

“What are you talking about?” Squall asked, planting his face firmly into his hand.

“Sorry Squall, but you're really not nearly as subtle as you think you're being. The way you look at her, the way you act around her, the way you talk to her... you're a completely different person than with anyone else!”

Squall looked at her with complete incredulity. “The way I talk to her?! So I get into shouting matches with her and what you get from that is that I'm into her?”

“Well honestly... yeah.”

Squall was at a loss for words. “I don't even want to imagine how you must think I feel about Seifer, then.”

Quistis burst out laughing. Squall wasn't one to joke around but when he did, he could come up with some genuinely funny ones. And considering how things went the last time they saw Seifer, she could use some levity.

“Ha... but seriously, Squall. Your reaction to Seifer actually illustrates what I mean perfectly. When Seifer, or Zell, or me, or anyone annoys you, you try to get them off your back as quickly as possible so you can go sulk by yourself.”

Squall looked away. Once again, it would be difficult for him to deny that her analysis was perfectly accurate. Quistis continued.

“Point is, you always try to end it as quickly as possible. Even with Seifer, you only ever got into fights with him if he didn't leave you any other option. But with Linoa... with her you actually get mad. And you stick around to give her a piece of your mind. You try to convince her to see things your way and you get angry when she doesn't. Do you realize what this means, Squall?”

He let out a big sigh.

“No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me.”

“It means you CARE! And THAT is the big difference. I don't think I've ever seen you care what other people think before. You don't share your feelings with anyone except maybe me, and even then not often and I have to drag it out of you. But with her, you go out of your way to let her know what you think. You take it personally! And it frustrates you when she disagrees with you because you wish she'd see things your way.”

Squall shook his head in response.

“Well, Quistis, if the SeeD thing doesn't work for you either, you'd make a great psychologist.”

Quistis didn't let his attitude slow her down. It was obvious to her that he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince her:

“Think about it! If you didn't like her, then why would you get so mad? You always act like everything is strictly business. You never show any reaction to people from the Garden disagreeing with you. You never get involved, so why would a client's opinions affect you so much? Why would you care about anything that doesn't pertain to the mission? If it were anyone else, you'd just roll your eyes and shut your brain off until they gave you orders.”

Squall was getting irritated.

“Look... I don't know if I really look at her differently from anyone else. Maybe. I'll admit she's pretty. Big deal. I'm not blind. But,” he sighed. “what drives me insane about her is that there are so many people whining about how 'someone' should do 'something' but not a single one of them is willing to be that someone. Even among the resistance, most groups are activists in name only, and here there finally was one that was willing to pick up the slack and they're a bunch of unreliable incompetents bumbling around with no preparation, no backup plan and just no... no sense of reality. THAT is why I'm so frustrated. Her cause is noble but she has no idea what she's doing.”

Squall did give Linoa credit for being the one to get things going, although he wasn't going to do so out loud; no point in giving Quistis more ammo. Zone was supposedly the leader of the Forrest Owls but it was obvious that Linoa was the one who actually ran everything. As much as she could baffle him, he did respect her for that. If only her naiveté didn't hold back her determination.

“So basically,” Quistis went on, “it's like I said. You do care about her and you take it personally that she doesn't give herself the means to achieve her goals”.

“Whatever.”

There was a pause. Squall seemed to be even less focused on the game as it went on, barely even looking at his cards before dropping them. Quistis leaned back to rest against the couch.

“Honestly, I can see why you like her.” she said with a more serious expression. Squall desperately tried to ignore her and considered leaving the room altogether. “She'd be perfect for you. She'd bring you a bit of passion, something to put your skills as a SeeD to good use. And you'd bring her the focus she needs to reach her dreams.”

She chuckled again. “If you two joined forces, I think the Galbadian dictatorship would fall by tomorrow!”

“You're taking your fantasies for realities, Quistis.” said Squall. “You barely know anything about her. Hell, I barely know anything about her and she's my client.”

“I know enough.”

“Tsk, you're hopeless. Anyway, you win, pick your cards so I can leave.” replied Squall, as if he hadn't been the one to initiate the conversation.

“Nah, you can keep them,” was Quistis' response.

“Huh? But you won!”

“Your head wasn't in the game. I'll take your cards when you lose properly. I'm guessing your mind was too preoccupied by that cute girl you totally don't care about.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” said Squall while picking up his cards. “I'm going back outside. I think we're nearly there.” He hoped that was true.

“Okay.” Before Squall left the room, she added “I'm totally telling her you said she's pretty, by the way!”

Giving Quistis a death glare over his shoulder, he left without a word, knowing full well that he'd only dig himself deeper.

“Hi again, Squall!” said Selphie as he passed. Squall still didn't reply. He wasn't ignoring her this time, he just didn't hear her. Quistis had realized things about him before he did so many times before, and he wondered if that was the case here.