#fiah's thoughts ✧˖*°࿐

[ffiahh]

there's something about vi hurting men that wants me to somehow rip the thick web between our world and arcane world just so that i can find her and ask her to marry me; aggression in a certain form; on the face or body is somehow very attractive

ALT Text: A GIF of Vi angrily shoving a man right before she gives him the unsavoury middle finger, following a very colourful 'Fuck you!'

[foxgonyoom]

A Comparison

I think Ima call them the Reasonably Enraged Trio (Although I might change this later tbh).

Anyway, sorry for the low quality of the image, I'll provide the text and an extra image under the cut (Some of the comparisons includes references to Journey to the West (though really just for Nezha and Red Son) and like 3 head-cannons but the rest is basically all from the show and also true)

Key (Comparison Colors)

Nezha and Pigsy

Pigsy and Red Son

Red Son and Nezha

All

Nezha and Pigsy

Why are all the pink men the only responsible ones

Actually a really good emotional support for MK

“I’m not dealing with your bullshit”

*has to deal with Wukong’s bullshit*

Secretly put up all the caution signs

Probably an undercover workaholic

Literally just wants to do their job is that so much to ask?

Underrated (in my opinion)

Calling you out on your bullshit

Pink men

Pigsy and Red Son

Specialize in cooking a certain kind of food

Runs a food business

“Can I offer some constructive criticism?” “Sure!” “Your plan fucking sucks”

Overly Sarcastic Productions would be proud of their sass

“These idiots have no idea what they’re doing”

Just wants the best for their family

Stubborn as fuck

Will protect the people they care about and you can’t stop them

Red Son and Nezha

FIAH

Red (technically)

A prince

Gets the shit beaten out of them on a regular basis

Originally an antagonist when they were introduced

Eventually and inevitably joined the team

Was there when Journey to the West went down

“When I was a young boy, I kicked the shit out of people”

“When I was a slightly older boy, a monkey kicked the shit out of me”

Daddy issues

~All~

Angery

Warm color

The brain cell

“Are you fucking serious”

“You’re an idiot”

Absolutely done with people’s BS and has been for a long time

Has to deal with dumbasses

Good relations with MK

An intellectual

“Am I the only who gives ANY thought to ANYTHING before I do it?”

*Signature disapproving stare*

Could beat the shit out of you but the show won’t let them

Needs a vacation but would most likely never take one

“MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH”

(May or may not apply that to themselves)

“No”

Lemme know if I missed or misapplied any!

[lilmissfanfic]

Admire

Please don’t take my work it is old,)

Oswald Cobblepot X Reader

oswald is hopelessly in love with the new singer for fish’s club. Fish gently encourage the young couple to talk together and see what happens.

Oswald POV

*I wanna be loved by you, just you

And nobody else but you

I wanna be loved by you, alone!

Boop-boop-a-doop!

I wanna kissed by you, just you

Nobody else but you

I wanna be kissed by you, alone!

Boop-boop, I couldn't aspire

To anything higher

Than, filled with desire

To make you my own!

Boop-boop-a-doop, boop-boop-a-doop!

I wanna be loved by you, just you

And nobody else but you

I wanna be loved by you, alone!

Aa-ah-um! Boop-boop-a-doop!

Daddle-at-dat-dat-dumb, I couldn't aspire

To anything higher

Than, filled with desire

To make you my own

Bup-bum, butle-doodle-dumb-bum!

I wanna be loved by you, just you

Nobody else but you

I wanna be loved by you, a-lup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup!

Boop-boop-a-doop*

She sang so beautifully, and she looked beautiful. With her sparkly black dress that hugged her hour glass body perfectly. She wore her short hair curled, half up, and with a cute black bow. She absolutely stunning, irestable, beautiful.

"You should talk to her" Fish Mooney interupted my thoughts

"Oh.. I-I dont stand a chance with a beauty like her" I said 

"Oh come on, believe in yourself Oswald" she said then looked over to the girl as she drank some water.

"Y/n" she called getting the girls attention. She motion her fingers towards us. I panicked but I had no where to go nor did I know what to do.

"Y/n, hunny, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.  Mr Oswald Cobblepot" I smiled at her as she gave me a charming smile.

"Its nice to meet you Mr.Cobblepot" She held out her hand which I took

"Its nice to meet you as well. You are a very good singer" she blushed

"I wouldn't say that, I do very well"

"Hush sweetface. You've been a beautiful singer since you were a child." Fish said

Y/n came from the circus. but when her parents died, when she was young, she ran away. That's how Fish found her and took her in.

So when she was in town she'd vist Fish who was like a mother to her enspecally when her real mother died. Mooney treated her as her own, making her special. Y/n was tired of the circus, so she continued for awhile. Then came back to Gotham, now she sings here for the nightclub. 

I've always adored her but from a far. I've like her since I was a kid. I watched her show at the circus and now I watch her singing.

"You were always something special to Fish" I said and she looked at me

"Can’t deny that, I talk about you all the time. Everyone knows you, but Oswald here is facanatied to hear more about you" Fiah smiled

"What can I say your a very interesting person" I said and she blushed

"I wouldn't say but maybe we could get to each other some more" she offered. I looked at Fish who smiled and nodded. I looked towards the girl and noded making her smile

We sat at a booth and talked for what seem like forever but we were really enjoying ourselves to notice time flying by. We chatted till closing then I offered to walk her home. 

We talked and laughed all the way back to her place until we got to her door step.

"I had a great time with you Mr Cobblepot" she said

"Please call me Oswald and I had a great time as well" I smiled 

"Well I'll see you tommrrow" she said and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I blushed as she unlocked her door.

"Good night" she said sweetly

"Good night" I said back then she shut the door. I couldn't but walk back a bit more happy and proud than I've ever been. Y/n  is something special

(Song by Marilyn Monroe)

[advancedscoutkappi]

An Unwelcome Gift

Preview: Kappi gets a gift from an unwelcome source.

“FIAH IN DA HOLE!!!”

Explosions  rock the walls of R&D, shaking the foundations of the entire department followed by cheers from those fans of things that go boom. That was something he enjoyed about the Bilgewater offices, plenty of space to test whatever needed testing. His tail flips several times while he jots down notes about the yield of the explosion that just went off. 

“It could have moah kick.”

Kappi slowly looks up from his notes to see where the extra commentary had come from. Before him stood a short, portly goblin with thinning red hair and piercing green eyes that some might confuse for being fel infused though they would be wrong. Kappi straightened to his full height and eyed him before nodding.

“That -is-, in fact, the entire point of this project Coggsworth. Now…” Kappi grins threateningly. “ Is there a reason for the interruption on this, my day off? Or are you simply here to stare at me?”

“Ya know ah got a thing foah tails.” The less than amused goblin says dryly. “But that ain’ the reason.”

Coggsworth steps forward and produces a box that he had been holding behind his back, setting it on the table in front of Kappi. It wasn’t a large box, roughly eight by eight, was black and had red markings on the side that looks like an uppercase ‘T’ with a second horizontal line across it. Kappi knew that mark, though he did not make it known to his present company. He slowly steps over and turns the box, checking its sides and weight before finally picking it up. “Was this received here?” Kappi asked, looking to Coggsworth with a neutral expression.

“Suah was. Why?” “No specific reason other than curiosity. Thank you Coggsworth, tell them to add in a bit of leystone dust in the next round of trials, but make sure to be careful. Add it in at the incorrect time and it will result in more explosive results that desired.”     Kappi gave a nod and squint, dashing out the door before the pudgy little goblin could respond. He made his way down the halls of the FBC office, his expression still neutral, that is until he reached his own work area. As soon as the door was shut and locked he scowled, gently setting the box down on a table covered in maps marked with the locations to herbs he needed to gather.  “Now? Of all times to do this…now?” He thought as he pulled a dagger from his belt. He moved off to the side and slid it under the lid to lift it away. He had not detected any sort of explosive or poison, but he had wanted to take caution nonetheless. He braced as he flipped the lid back, but nothing happened, none to his surprise. Straightening himself he sheathed his dagger, moving back around to look into the ominous package. Inside was a small round cake that was covered in black frosting with red trim and lettering. Kappi’s ears immediately pin back as he reads the message, Welcome back. A simple message that had a much more complicated meaning. 

He worked for Draven for several years, starting just a short time after he left Vol’dun. He had not minded the majority of it, say for some of the people he had to work with. Beyond that though, it had allowed him to expand upon his skills, use the abilities he had gained and be paid handsomely for it. It also showed him how much he could be valued. He had gotten some of that in Vol’dun with the resistance, but it hits differently when you are sought out. Having several run-ins with low level members in Draven’s employ, Kappi had impressed Draven. Impressed him enough that he chose to put considerable effort into finding him and once he did it was an offer Kappi simply could not refuse. Eventually though, all “good” things do come to an end, as he found his interest in continuing with the organization waning and he had to work hard to get himself free of it all.

He pinches at the base of his snout, walking around to slump down into his chair with a heavy sigh. He had hoped that stretch was behind him. Then he reopened the door and he should have known then that the Farmer would not simply let him walk away again. Finally he dropped his hand and stared at the back of the box, silently cursing himself for his lapse in judgment. He had only gone back due to the state he was in, the plan was to not actually come back. But then the call came and life took that unexpected right turn. His ears perked up as his mind went to Attzi, maybe the fact that the parcel had been delivered to the office meant he did not know. The fact that he worked at the FBC was public knowledge and would not have been hard for Draven to find out. But he was careful when returning to his new home, as he was more often than not in his entire life and they remained professional when out on FBC business. Maybe they had not looked hard enough into things to find out that information yet. He can only hope and take solace in the fact that nothing had arrived there at this point in time. He pushes back to his feet and walks around to the front of the box, drawing his dagger once again to cut into the cake. It cut cleanly until he hit the middle, and he frowned again. Sitting in the center of the cake was a neatly wrapped leather parcel, and Kappi instantly knew what he was going to find inside of it. Slipping it from its tomb of cake and frosting, he began the process of unwrapping it and found his “prize”. A contract. A contract that just so happens to already have his mark of approval, though he did not give it. And that meant he could not turn it down. 

Dear Mr. Kappi,

    I do not think I have the words to describe to you how good it feels to have someone of your skill set back in my employ. Your absence all these years created quite the gap. I think you will find the attached contract is to your liking and would greatly appreciate your patented quick work with this sensitive matter. Of course, once you are complete you will be handsomely compensated as always. Again, it is good to have you back.

                Sincerely,

                    The Farmer

Along with the contract were images of the FBC offices in Bilgewater and Booty Bay, so that suspicion was now confirmed at least. This was the Farmer's not so subtle way to tell Kappi that he did not get a choice in the matter. He sighed again and returned to his chair, contract in hand. He gave it a detailed look over, making sure there wasn’t a single one missed. It didn’t make sense though. The more he read over it the more he was confused why he was given this job. It was something most any one with a similar skill set to his could complete. It was not until he reached the location that it finally came to him. Vol’dun. The target had fled to Vol’dun, and that is why he wanted Kappi to take on this contract. There would be far fewer people who knew that area and definitely no one else in his employ. His face twisted into a deep scowl and slammed his hand down on the table. It was not the returning to Vol’Dun, that he had no problem with. It was the fact he was returning for THIS. He tosses the contract back up on the table just as the door to his work area unlocked and swung open. “Remind me again, Cogsworth, why in all the realms did I give you a key to that door?” Kappi asked as he looked up to see the goblin standing in the doorway.

“Ta save ya from yaself, and ta keep ya on ya toes in hopes a catchin’ changin’ oah somethin’ like that.” Coggsworth responds just as dryly as before.

“That is your dream, not mine. Now what is it you want this time?” Kappi snaps back. Cogsworth’s expression does not change, seems being snapped at was nothing new for him during his days, and he steps over to the table. As he gets close Kappi collects the contract and wraps it back up, stashing it into his belt.

“Special delivery, eh? Who ah whe reachin’ out ta?” 

That response got Kappi grinning and exactly why he kept Cogswoth around. Nothing surprised him nor shook him and he knew exactly when things called for a delicate touch. Kappi pushes to his feet and packs up the cake, turning towards the goblin after.

“Anyone who has ears on the ground in Vol’dun and Kul Tiras, yeah? Looking for a recent arrival.”     Without any further questions Cogsworth nods and scoots out the door. Kappi let out another very deep sigh and reached for his com, dialing in a specific frequency to contact Attzi directly. He knew this was coming down the pipe eventually, but it does not make it any less frustrating. “Love, would you be available to give me one of those wonderful portal rides back home? There has been a development…

[cinematech]

idkw hy i thought the fiah was the

[batsbirdsandspeedstersohmy]

.

[whirlybirbs]

general life bleh beneath the cut!   |   mentions of e.d. treatment / anxiety below

what a wild couple of days.

weeks, even. tbh. 

honestly, the whole plagiarizing debacle made me realize a lot of things -- 

1.)   that people are still stealing fics and content, even in 2020 A.Y.M.M. (after youngmoneymilla, y’know, that whole thing that happened months ago)

2.)   that there are a lot of kids on the internet -- not in like a derogatory “ur a kid” way, like... literal thirteen year olds who do not understand right from wrong and clout from garbage.

3.)   that after years of gaslighting and a bad imposter syndrome, i’ve finally gotten to a point where i can manage to stand up for myself and stand my ground when i’m wronged

4.)   that i have an amazing support system.

shit’s been literally off the walls in my personal life -- i’m a 22 y/o old adult living at home and dealing with the nasty regression of being in a household that was bad when i last lived in it. a recent grad who, on her second month of job hunting, is still unemployed. broke, with student loans slowly strangling me, and pretty isolated.

but, on the same end -- i’m seeing a therapist regularly, i’ve been able to manage my e.d. and my anxiety, i’ve been creating content i’m proud of, i’m taking care of myself for the first time in a long time, and i have all of you who make my day on the reg. 

i had an appointment today at the office where i do my e.d. treatment and decided to try a med that i’ve taken before that nearly ruined my life. (did, to some degree, tbh.)

now that i’m finally in a place where i can stop thinking black ‘n’ white about binging, where i can label emotional eating v. hunger, where i’m good with my support system, i think i’m gonna do better on these meds -- but the last time i was on it, it opened the door for someone to take advantage of my mania, posed as friendship, and then five months of emotional abuse and my eventual assaults followed. 

i was off my rocker on this pill, mostly because it’s literally over-the-counter meth. appetite suppressants are not remedy, they’re a tool, and with the biggest obstacle to really crushing my e.d. being a weird ravenous appetite, i’m hoping this med will help -- and hopefully, since i’ve know got a much better support system than i did in summer of 2018, i’ll be alright.

worst case, i stop taking it and all is well. so! there’s that!

but, i also wanted to just !!! thank everyone. honestly, i use this blog as a pretty big escape. writing, too, is just that -- talking to y’all and seeing such wonderful responses to my work is literally making me cry right now. the fact that so many of you stood up for me during the darksabers fiasco means so much to me. more than i can literally say. i’m just so thankful for every single one of you and i wish i could answer every single ask in my inbox ever because you all deserve the most love and attention in the world. 

my blog would be nothing without you all. 

(also, as a p.s.: darksabers apologized and now! like i said! i’m happily moving on. please don’t pester her -- alls said ‘n’ done on my end! I HAVE SPOKEN.)

[zhuhongs]

the other day my friend tried raw fish for the first time and was talking abt like how she just doesnt get the appeal and she'd never crave it and tbh i never thought much abt the taste of raw fish alone but now im actually like... yea no fiah is Delicious raw...

[tangleweave]

[Submitted by: @brooklynislandgirl ]

Beth's eyes narrow as his voice winds its way around her and stills her hand because there's the tiniest shake to it that won't do at all for the delicate work ahead of her. He has to have asked on purpose, because he knew it would get under her skin.  Even without use of his hands he's still the most tactically brilliant surgeon she knows. And as a sorcerer? Oh she knows better than to try to go toe-to-toe with him in the arena of magick. Though a newcomer to this other side he's always had a raw talent for it. With his miracles and his monologues. She's absolutely certain without a doubt that he'd outclass her in a certamen duel. They are nothing like what the Sword in the Stone has led anyone to believe. Furthermore, the quietly posed question surprises her not because of its bluntness but because she's taken aback that he doesn't know. After all, one of the contributing factors of her leaving Columbia's surgeon program was directly related to it. Stephen was the first man she'd ever explored feelings for. The first one that she'd ever imagined laying hands on her because she wanted him to, a unique experience on its own. The sliver of arrogance embroidered throughout his confidence, that moulded his egotism into a bright shining charm that proved almost irresistible. She'd imagined him using her to find a centre of calm in the storm of his thoughts. Ardent for certain. Arms on either side of her shoulders, muscles straining. Veins distended all the way down to the dorsal arch in his achingly gorgeous and skilful hands. She'd imagined each heavy thrust of his hips and the way his mouth would swallow down any noise that he might drag out of her, the rhythm changing with the music playing. What she wasn't certain about was if, afterwards, he'd criticise her technique or lack there of, suggest she gain experience, point out that her breasts are too small and her hips and backside too large for her frame. If he would stay the night or shower and leave. All of it played out in different ways in her mind, and unfortunately for her, written in detail in a diary page that also described that she'd done so while touching herself.  She is astonished that Stephen doesn't know. Because half her class did back in the day when those pages, carefully translated into Haole English from a blend of pidgin and Hawai'ian proper, ended up on the screen for the auditorium to see when she was presenting a paper on Dr Tomoaki Kato, their surgical director for the Liver and Intestinal Transplantation programme, working to bring life-saving transplants to children in Venezuela. It started with a few gasps, then laughter, and a lot of phone snap-shots. Before she knew it the entire campus had heard of the prank pulled on her and from that moment onward she knew she could never look him in the eye again, that he would only see a moment of weakness in her and not the undying respect and devotion she held for him. Her face goes blank and she stares not down into his face where he sits on the kitchen stool, but to some spot beyond his shoulder. Her jaw trembles as her face goes ghostly white. There's a rush of wetness that makes her eyes gleam. The straight razor in her hand shakes with the strength of her grip on it. "You would be devastatin'. You'd know exactly where to put your fingahs. Where t' put ya tongue. You'd know exactly how t' get ya lover where you needed dem t' be, an' you'd get pleasure from puttin' dem dere. Make 'em desperate for ya. Achin' wi' need to da point you nevah even have t' slide inside. But you would an' it would be..." She swallows. The look that crosses her face when she does defies description, no one single emotion able to be pin-pointed. And then she flicks her gaze at him. "I've watch you for so long Stephen, an' sometimes I t'ink I know ya beddah dan ya know yaself. You're so full of passion and it's catastrophic how bright ya burn. You're ruinous. Like Mt Kilauea onna Big Islan'. Eddiah on da caldera or in da rift zones, Kilauea is continuously eruptin'... been doin' so since Eighty-t'ree, over

Pu'u 'O'o vent. So ya, you're volcanic and you'd make anyone wanna incinerate in your fiah." She puts the razor down on the marble island counter, and hands him a still steaming towel. "Pu-put dis on an' I'll be..." She doesn't say another word as she turns crisply on one bare heel and pads over to the kitchen sink, palms pressed into her eyes. She doesn't let out a shamed, longing sigh until the water's running and he can't possibly hear her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When the words leave Stephen’s mouth, he almost instantly regrets having uttered them at all. He doesn’t know what came over him. The moment the word “bed” escapes him, he feels the way she stops. To anyone outside the realm of medicine, it would be imperceptible, indistinguishable from any other beat of silence between two people as one conjures up a response to what the other has asked. But between doctors… between neurosurgeons… and between him and Beth, if one wished to be truly specific, the difference is clear. The slightest tilt of the straight razor in her hand might as well be a scalpel quivering down its line during a tremor.

His regret has nothing to do with the question itself, but with the history surrounding them both which brings shame to the words of that question. He recalls, now, the day that the hospital administrator had called Stephen into his office to have a ‘quick chat’. During which it had been approached, as tactfully – and hypothetically – as possible, that while Stephen’s professionalism had always been above reproach—

“—this hospital always has its reputation to consider, and you understand how rumors can come about, don’t you? But if there happens to be any sliver of truth to the one which suggests an inappropriate relationship between mentor and mentee… obviously it’s best for everyone concerned if that rumor not be allowed to perpetuate.”

Stephen balked. “Robert, I’ll admit I’m not 100% certain what you’re getting at, there were a lot of words in the way, but I could swear I just heard you suggest I’m sleeping with Beth Riley.”

The administrator held up one hand with palm open, fingers spread. “Stephen, let me be clear, I am not saying that. I am abjectly and definitively not saying that. But you should be aware that not everyone in this hospital is joining me in not saying that. Do you get where I’m coming from?”

“You sound like you took a vacation to D.C. and someone let you hover near the glass cases in the National Archive too long.” Stephen planted his hands on his hips and cast an annoyed glance at the window over his colleague’s shoulder, though there was nothing particularly exciting to see through it. The Manhattan skyline had never drawn his eye quite like an MRI could. “Nick put you up to this or something?”

“It’s not Nick.”

“Oh, great, that eliminates one of my not-biggest-fans. You said it yourself, Robert, my professionalism speaks for itself, always has, always will. I don’t sleep with my mentees, I don’t even think about sleeping with my mentees, and the fact that you’re having this conversation with me just serves to cement how little you must think of me that you need me to look you in the eye and say that out loud.”

“Stephen—”

“Sounds to me like you’ve got a resident trying to avoid a colonoscopy by stirring up a little trouble. Whoever it is, reschedule that appointment for them and make sure to put Nick on it, he knows what it’s like to always have a stick up his ass. Can we be done here?”

Robert sighed and ran his palm across his hairless scalp. “Yeah, fine, get outta here. You’ve got money to make anyway, right?”

Stephen flashed a wan smile at the administrator. “Ah, yeah, see there? You know how to make a good decision when you really try, I’ve always liked that about you.” He spun about with a dramatic flair, arms flailing about him in the twist, and headed towards the door. “Your guy’s crazy anyway, all you have to do is ask Beth, not only is she all of twenty years old, she has zero interest in me.”

“If you say so.”

A crease appeared between Stephen’s brows. Robert wasn’t known for flippancy. But for whatever reason, he decided to ignore the remark.

He had people to save.

Even though it’s not in contact with his skin, Stephen feels the tremble of the razor in Beth’s hand. He sees the ashen look on her face and he opens his mouth to apologize to her for saying anything. He shouldn’t have. Particularly not in light of—

“Her entire diary?”

“No, not the whole thing, just juicy bits. Really juicy bits.”

Stephen’s auditory senses weren’t as attuned as his tactile awareness, but he nevertheless could hear even a mumbled conversation from a certain distance. And the acoustics in the hospital were nothing to sneeze at. So when he turned the corner and approached the nurses’ station, he couldn’t help but feel a certain level of suspicion when the conversation he’d been able to hear from the doorway of 1145 suddenly turned to a less interested, less lively discussion about the latest carpet cleaner commercial.

Clearly they weren’t interested in him joining the chat, and he wasn’t terribly interested in gossip anyway, so he wordlessly entered the work station and glanced among a half dozen charts before selecting one and going on his way. He’d finished his rounds on three halls and had only one remaining.

Still, his ear caught one more salient detail of the subject that had earned their hushed voices. “I wasn’t there, I just heard – listen, all I know is if I went to Venezuela, that’s the last thing I’d need a briefing on!”

Beth’s mouth opens and she begins to answer his question. Which stuns him. Why would she even want to answer? She couldn’t have wanted him to ask in the first place.

She says… everything. All of it. Every word of it is true.

His policy on sleeping with students – or more properly, not sleeping with them – was maybe the only sexual boundary he’d been stalwart in observing. It had never extended to proper colleagues, and lord knows he’s gone home with… well, no need to expound on that. At the height of his medical career, Stephen had been a Lothario. Shameless, hungering, and never truly satisfied until he reduced a lover to a wanton, quivering mess. He has a wealth of experience. It’s not necessarily a source of pride now. It never really was before, either. Most of the women he’d been with had only been able to tolerate him for the sex, and not even that for long. Whatever void was filled by those transitory experiences had always been just as quickly evacuated, and there had been no compunction against informing him it was because of his raging ego.

But the experience he’d gained had taught him how to break down a lover faster, better, more efficiently… turn her into a creature of desperation. Not even actually needing to enter her for her to reach her apex, but then making her fall apart over and over when he does.

And that’s exactly what Beth describes.

His lips part in the beat of silence between them when she calls him volcanic. He knows that look on her face. He’s seen it before. He’s seen it on the faces of many an up-and-coming doctor, young upstart women with strength and passion and willpower… young women who had disappointed him with just the stars in their eyes. He was fine for a fling with someone outside the profession. Hell, he’d even engage in one with a consenting adult inside the profession if they needed a body and a face to help them blow off steam. But the look those young pre-med students would give him… it was all he needed to know they wouldn’t last. They would see him talk and spend all their time not hearing a word. Those dreamy, goofy smiles… they punched holes in the professionalism of the eager upstarts wearing them.

Beth had never worn that look. Not once. Anytime she’d set her eyes on him, he’d known she was paying attention, hanging on every word, and absorbing information like a sponge absorbing water.

But she’s wearing it now.

And just as quickly, she’s turning away. She hasn’t moved away from him that quickly since—

“You quit?” Stephen’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. You’re miles ahead of anyone else here. You’re brilliant. You’re capable. You’re adaptable. You’ll have your own department in five years. And with your outreach programs, every hospital in the world will be trying to recruit you. Your ticket’s punched. The train’s waiting for you.”

The look on her face was one he’d never seen before. Her eyes were puffed up. She’d obviously been crying. Her cheeks and neck were almost glowing red, and he thought he saw her lip quiver as she opened her mouth. For a moment, it seemed as if she wouldn’t get out what she wanted to say. Her chest kept heaving with silent hiccups. No words came out.

“Beth…” His head tilted slightly to the right, and he took a step forward. “You’ve wanted this from the moment I met you.”

But the moment he stepped forward, she recoiled two steps back, and her gaze dropped from his face to some interesting spot on the floor in front of his feet.

“I don’ wan’ dis, Ste… Doctah Strange. I nevah did.”

And for maybe the first time he could recall, Stephen was struck speechless. He tried to summon forth even just the sound of her name, issue it past his lips, like somehow just saying it would make everything not what it was. Maybe it was a dream, a horrible one, and she was just a figment of his imagination, some part of his consciousness that felt guilt or remorse over… something? What could he even be feeling guilt about?

Was he even the one who felt guilty? Because the look on her face, the look of her face, told him that there was something terribly wrong. That was a look of shame. Humiliation.

And suddenly it struck him. Oh, god. That idiot conversation he’d had with Robert. What the hell kind of rumor mill was—?

Abruptly, his struggle to find words was won, and it came tumbling from him. “If this has anything to do with whatever dumbass rumor Robert thinks he heard…”

But he didn’t get to finish the thought, because her face faulted like he had shot her.

And then she was out the door.

Stephen does as instructed and presses the steaming towel to his face while Beth retreats to the kitchen sink. He hears the water running, but the sound lets him know nothing is interrupting the steady stream on its way to the basin. It’s a trick he remembers from childhood. No one in the house needs to hear what you’re doing on the toilet… and everyone would be much obliged if you made sure they don’t.

He chances movement and shifts into a more upright position while keeping the towel to his face. He looks over at her and sees the way she’s staring up at nothing in particular, her mouth dangling open and her chest falling inward. He doesn’t have to hear it to know it’s a sigh, though any tonal quality to it is lost in the hiss of the running water.

He wouldn’t blame her if his presence here has caused her undue stress, and he wants to apologize to her for that. That, and so many other things besides. He studies her carefully; the distance isn’t so great that he can’t notice subtle changes in her from when she’d been his protégé. Her face is more angular. Muscles that he can see are more toned, and yet she seems slimmer. Her hair is longer. And the scar…

He blinks. Wait. The scar.

It’s not there.

He frowns. Surely his eyes aren’t playing tricks on him, are they? There should be a scar there. The injury had been rather outstanding. Ice-skating. She’d taken a hard fall. He’d stitched it back together himself. He remembers even now the promise he’d made to her, that she wouldn’t lose even a milligram of beauty and the mark would be barely noticeable.

He hadn’t lied, but he also had not expected the scar to be nonexistent.

Stephen shifts again, this time to get to his feet. He takes several cautious steps towards her, until he’s standing next to her. He lifts a hand towards her jawline, to silently confirm with his fingers what his eyes are already telling him – it’s not an illusion. There really is no scar tissue present at all.

He would never dare to touch someone else in such intimate fashion without forewarning. But he knows she must have already felt him approaching, and it’s not as though he was out of sight as he’d done it. That she’s still standing here, peering up at him, tells him all he needs to know.

He drifts his fingertips against her face, pressing against it gently to turn her head so that he can see her jaw in the light. The moment seems to swell between them.

It’s an odd thing for him to be surprised by. After all, she’s already demonstrated considerable skill with metaphysical healing – his arms are proof enough of that. But somehow he had allowed himself to believe that her healing abilities extended only to others and not to herself. Now it seems a silly assumption. Why should she not be able to gift herself that which she gives others?

“Physician, heal thyself,” he murmurs. Then, just as gently as his first touch, he touches her chin to turn her gaze back to his, and he holds her eyes with his own. “If you could fix it on your own… why did you…?”

He trails off because the answer to the question is growing more obvious. Either she couldn’t do it on her own at the time… or she could, but she wanted him to, instead. And then the pieces are locking together. A brilliant but disliked neurosurgeon and an equally brilliant (and far more affable) young student jockeying for his attention… who became his mentee over so many other hungry candidates. Necessarily close association. One-on-one medical studies. Gala appearances. An injury that didn’t need his touch but had received it anyway.

The rumors that had compelled Robert to call him to the admin office. The gossiping that always stopped when he was around. Beth’s abrupt withdrawal from the program.

From him.

Stephen looks at her with new eyes.

“…and I thought my scars were deep.”

[lexesbaggage]

Farewell Success

A narrative essay of Jan Lexter Gutierrez, 1.1BSEDENG

           He opened his eyes, and he could only see a gloomy gray sky through his window. As he started to walk out through his terrace, he felt the breeze caressing his arms and cheeks that made him shiver. He tried to hum in a small voice but he can’t. “My throat!” his mind yelled. And in that moment he only thought that it was over for him, that he will not make it to the competition that day because he has sore throat. But, no! “You need to do something.” his mind convincing him. Lexter rushed in to their kitchen and saw his aunt preparing their breakfast for that gloomy morning. “Aunt Janet, do you have any remedies for a sore throat? Do you have turmeric powder? Ginger?” he asked. “Yes dear, we have turmeric powder. Look for it there in the cupboard” his aunt answered merrily.

           Listening to the sounds of raindrops that fall in the wind shield of a UV Express Van he is riding of, made him think that it will be a tough day for him. Lexter arrived on his school an hour early before their call time. Sitting on a chair in a room assigned to them, Lexter was exercising his vocals while taking his turmeric tea. As minutes went by, the other contestants had arrived. Until he saw his friend Fiah waving on him while standing near the door of that room. Fiah was also one to beat in that competition. But for the both of them, it was just a friendly match. 

            There were 10 contestants, and Lexter got the last spot to perform while Fiah got the ninth spot. They do trust each other to the point that they consulting each other regarding to the songs that they will sing. And most of the time, it works and the results were awesome. Fiah advised Lexter to pick a song that is close to his heart. While the 5th contestant is performing, Cristel arrived at the venue. Cristel is the younger sister of Lexter. Cristel is a smart, spoiled, and an achiever. She and her brother have a deep connection in music. Growing up in a family of performers in their town, there is no reason for them to not be musically inclined.

           When Lexter saw his sister, he ran to her and hugged her. They went to the backstage to prepare. While the 7th contestant is performing, they went on one of the rooms and for the last minute rehearsed Lexter’s piece. Lexter is still struggling to hit the notes perfectly on the bridge part of “This Is the Moment”. He couldn’t contain his emotions as he started crying out of fear and nervousness. “Sorry, I’m just afraid that I might lose it again. You know, this is going to be my last year here.” Lexter uttered while crying in front of her sister. Cristel just hugged her brother and comforted him. Minutes are running, and the time for Fiah to perform came. Lexter prepared for his turn. Fiah sang “Hanggang”  by Wency Cornejo. Everything went fast but the moment Lexter started to hold the microphone, everything he see turns in slow motion. The instrumental started to play as well his nerves were there. The lines of the first two verses went a little bit shaky until it reaches the chorus and everything calms down. But the nerves came back as he is coming to sing the bridge part of the song. His hands become sweaty. But he reminded himself that this is going to be his last shot to redeem his self so he need to compose himself. “But now the time has come, to prove to them I made it on my own!” Lexter gracefully belted the line. Lexter soared with that performance as he finished it with a huge cheers and applause from the audience. 

           Lexter found himself in the arms of his sister congratulating him with his performance. “Oh my God! You did it great!” Cristel proudly praising her brother. Every people in the backstage congratulated him even the hosts. As he felt the overwhelming love of the people around him, the time to find out who emerged victorious that night came. The 3rd place was called. Only 2 places were left. Fiah and Lexter were nervous enough to hope for their names to be called in either the two remaining placement.

           Everything went slow. Lexter saw his friend Allyson in tears clapping her hands while looking at him. The host announced that the 1st runner up is no other than him. He saw his friends from the other side of the crowd cheering his name. “Lexter! Lexter! Lexter!” Finally! It strucked through his head. That he got what he dreamed of. Cristel was so proud of her brother’s victory. Later that night, Fiah got smacked that awesome title as she will represent their school on the cluster finals. Lexter found himself looking up in the sky with a wide smile on his face. He thinks that it might really his time. He was happy he will live the rest of his senior year without regrets in his hands.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

They're dumping all of California's water into the ocean just for one certain little fiah. We have to kill Nemo.

I thought it was for something else – do you live in California?

[ffiahh]

bartender!vi does that thing where she admires your outfit from over the bar, then ask you to twirl for her; while using her thumb and forefinger to pinch at the fabric, and palm at your body before she fucks you in the back on her 15 min break and you'll know she's serious and maybe willing stay longer then 15 min if she's popped the first few buttons on her shirt and has rolled her sleeves up her forearm

[dramartyakumar]

Why Engineering Companies Must Establish Thought Leadership by Research

Why Engineering Companies Must Establish Thought Leadership by Research

Why Engineering Companies Must Establish Thought Leadership by Research

Dr. Amartya Kumar Bhattacharya

BCE (Hons.) ( Jadavpur ), MTech ( Civil ) ( IIT Kharagpur ), PhD ( Civil ) ( IIT Kharagpur ), Cert.MTERM ( AIT Bangkok ), CEng(I), FIE, FACCE(I), FISH, FIWRS, FIPHE, FIAH, FAE, MIGS, MIGS – Kolkata Chapter, MIGS – Chennai Chapter, MISTE, MAHI, MISCA, MIAHS, MISTAM, MNSFMFP, MIIBE, MICI, MIEES,…

[pendulumann]

A lil song reflected back, talking to a friend, before a Vancouver trip ...

This seamless ease of being dances into the timeless spaceless space where it's at ... is forgetting, if yeah in ta dat ... fleeting thoughts, fleeting tunes, fleetingness is where ya bloom , oh well, for those that know they don't know ya pull ya in the deep baby, just a nibble, is all it takes

Cause im getting pumped, getting pumped, getting ready to hugs some big ass trees, play'n in the dream, stepping one foot out and floating inbetween, getting pumped baby getting pumped, it's where I be, once the fiah's noticed, it neva goes away, burn baby burn, igniting all that seems

ready for da oven, ready for the roast, like there was even a choice, too late ya been toast ____it

who's word come slamm'n, what voice do you hear, random shit be popping, Coyotl get outta my ear ... wut

maybe after this trip, need empty space, aloneness, get those lines fading, loose the grips peeps tend to take, filling me up with nonsense, of this and that, just a chill'n time, floating time, breathing that breath, be sucking on the endless fountain, while the coals be burn'n, on fiah on fiah coyotl got the fiah ha

i be danc'n in the dream, being so serene, lost in the footless dance, being my own romance, getting high getting high, lost in the myst _ical view, no longer me and you, just this ever emerging appearing whymsical juice and i be fly'n __ high, you know where I'm at, casue I'm not and that's where we meet and slip away ... away ... away

Wine, whine, why bother to bother when we nothing but a liquid dream, leaking at the seems, pretending to give a damn in a damned up stream, let it loose, crumble and fall, fk up shit, find your holler, reflect me back as I truly am, Open up the gates and drown me ... in that Omni space, swoosh ...

Don’t bog me down with your beliefs, attempts at controlling this empty space, loose and free is all I’ll ever be, no containment to this very breath I breath

You are the song that sings you into this world - sang from a friend

Hey hey hey this gal got onto the wine, not the whine cause that ain’t it, going surfing through the crowd, absorbing those smile, sucking up life’s toils, and ya know baby I’m full on play, playtime in the playground, life pump’n it up.

[salty-yoosk]

Fun

Being mentaly ill to the point where u have constant conspiracy theories tgat lead to nowhere forget what words mean 4 secobda after saying then and talking faster and faster aboit nothing that makes sejse as soon as u can

My mom even said i need to see another thearapist bc apparently it isnt bornal to go off. Into tangents on why eggs are a lie told vy the government and that cupa dony repeat thwir names like pokemons

Nor ia it nornal to naruto run down the hallway on ur feet using them like flippers n constqntly questioning if real life is q movie or ur actuallu just a sin character

My eyes get all blinky an fast an my mouth starta moving too much an before i know it i had a thought went fron 5 to 9 and thwn made up something equally as ridiculous as sugeating that cocopuffs being inserted ibto soneones asshoke or tgat fiah cant wet dreqms

Aka im litwraly insqne and i juat kibda dobt care anymore

Maybe i should ecerything i day down so i can qctualy see jiat how not there i am

Alsofuck spellcheck

[djklyph]

In 2014 I started on what has become a journey to better wellness. The medals are a display of a part of that journey that has taught me perseverance, given me confidence, helped me grow physically, mentally and spiritually. I'm hopeful that 2018 presents more growth opportunities and I'd love to share them with you. To give you my thoughts and insights as well as those of some of my friends that excel in physical, spiritual and mental fitness. I plan to do this at the Fitness Is A Habit website where I hope to blog, podcast, reference other great content in these areas and hopefully converse with you wherever you are. Let's build into one another to be the best we can be! #FitnessIsAHabit #FIAH #IHateRunning #HealthIsWealth #MindBodySoul #Holistic