#filled with so much rage rn I hate this I hate the new changes I want to kill whoever is responsible

[cryptic-rainfall]

well, tumblr finally forced me to use the new post maker that probably literally every other user has had for 5+ years (the one where you can edit colors and stuff in text, yeah I didn't have that one). I actually wouldn't care except for the fact that I hate the way the tags look in this post editor, literally so awful to me. I think it may be time I get xkit in the vain hope that it can fix this.

also it's saving this post as a draft???? don't like that. is there a way to turn it off?

[yippieitsarvensart]

OH OH OH CAN I TALK ABOUT AUTISTIC HEADCANONS?? Okay okay- so I'll go in house order ajshdoakdhdjfkfj I'm so exicted!!!

Riddle is RIDDLED with autism and you can't change my mind. Like yeah his mom definitely has a big part on why he's Like That, but the need for routine?? The fucking MELTDOWN when things don't go as planned? When he feels he isn't being listened to/understood and it fills his blood with rage???? When he has trouble understanding tone (the most obvious one being sarcasm, but he's struggled with trying to discern if people are upset with him or not as well, same with patronizing/being teased!!) LIKE?????? He's just like me fr!!!!!

Cater is another that seems so obvious to me, like it's canon he has a way lower social battery than he let's on and he's masking like 24/7! And every autistic person I know is way more popular online than they are irl askgsksshvxkx, it's harder to be perceived as "off" through social media and I think he figured that out awhile ago

Jack's never ending energy when it comes to the things he loves, such as running or gardening? His strict moral code? His discomfort with expressing emotions? His sensitive/heightened senses? (That's probably just a beastman thing but shhhhh)

Literally the whole octatrio. Azul finds comfort in small enclosed spaces and compression, has canon comfort/security items and spaces, has safe foods and not safe foods, more prone to meltdowns than he'd ever let you believe.

You know how Azul needs compression? Yeah the twins HATE that shit, they don't like being restricted but you know what they DO like? Being the compressor! All 3 of them find comfort in giving a good squeeze, only Azul likes to receive the squeeze.

Floyd is SENSORY SEEK9NG ALL THE WAY, he needs loud music he needs to be THROWN he needs to eat rocks and do cartwheels and touch all the weird land textures!!! He HAS to or he's gonna EXPLODE!!!!!

Jade's special interest is mushrooms, that much is obvious, but i also would like to mention that he's kind of the middle ground between Floyd and Azul. He gets so bored and understimulated when everything is smooth sailing, nothing new, no chaos, BUT he needs controlled chaos. He needs chaos that isn't gonna throw him into a sensory overload ya feel? He needs some fun but a specific kind of (cough sadistic cough cough) fun that he controls like puppet master.

I'm gonna stop here so I don't go on forever but!! If you want I can continue!!! I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about these characters and their mental states :D

I LOVE THAT YALL ARE JUST RAMBLING TO ME NOWWW YEAHAHAHA yes yes please continue oh mymy god. I love autism hcs I LOVE HCS SO BAD Literally anyone out there. Come tell me about twst hcs. I'll go absolutely bonkers insane over them <333

Okay I get you so bad rn they're so real. Riddle autism was already so real to me and I love it when people can like actually properly explain how the hc WORKS like this like you make it WORK now I never did think of Jack as autistic, that... GUYS AUTISM TWISTED WONDERLAND REAL??? SO REAL>/????

I'M SO GLAD!!! YOU GET ME !!! WITH FLOYD!!!!!!! I've been fucking saying he needs that loud music and that action but. SLAMS FIST ON TABLE. NO ONE GETS ME. Like I just recently convinced someone that he'd be big on rock/metal music (like me) (I was projecting) because of how dancey it is because of how UPBEAT and CRAZY it can be sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I personally think that Floyd would be big on compression as well, he's always squeezing ppl but I think he'd also like it if someone squeezed him back. It never happens to him like ever but when it does he just melts. (mecore)

He and Azul wrap their tail/tentacles around each other and SQUEEEEEEZE!!!!!! And sometimes they fall asleep tangled around each other. Side note for that: /p btw I noticed I don't rlly ship the octatrio unless it's yuri jeiazu LOLL Jade being the only one who doesn't enjoy a lot of physical contact IS real to me though. (I love making the twins so #opposites but also #samezies)

[thebluesunflower44]

Hey, Blue! Hope some prompts help you out of your funk. 💜💜

Pairing: Zutara

Prompt: Westward

Angst or fluff? I can’t choose! Whichever works for you!

tysm ever🥺 I chose angst!

“The sun is setting on the Fire Nation,” nobles whisper in the streets.

“Indeed, the Fire Lord’s glory has gone westward,” husbands whisper to their wives over dinner.

“Our nation will be ruined,” children who lack true understanding whisper to their friends.

And in the Fire Lord’s bedroom, a twenty-two-year-old woman whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Zuko turns his back to her and punches his dresser, sending a tremor through Katara. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?” His voice is quiet too, but it carries a rage that threatens to burn the world.

“Out there, all those people - all your people see me as unfit to even stand in this palace. And while that doesn’t faze me, they’re not just badmouthing me. They say you’re a bad ruler and that you’re singlehandedly-”

“Stop.” He holds up a hand and on any other day, Katara would have reprimanded him for trying to command her. But today, she listens to him - it’s not as if she wants to tell him all the awful things she’s heard. “If anyone needs to apologize, it’s me.”

“That’s not true.” 

Zuko spins around to face her. “Had I never begged you to be the Ambassador, none of this would have been happening. Had I never gotten in between you and Aang, none of this would have been happening. Had I never kissed you, none of this would have been happening!”

If there exists a universe where none of that happened, she must be miserable in it. “Shut up, Zuko. You’re not allowed to even think that. I’ll gladly handle every problem the world throws our way, as long as I know…” she trails off, wanting to say ‘I have you’, but knowing that she can’t. Not right now, not today. She came here for a reason.

From the way he’s pacing, the young monarch doesn’t seem to have heard her, still caught up in villainizing himself. “It is my fault. It was extremely selfish of me to ask you to be by my side. Ridiculously selfish. The only thing I’m ruining is your life!” he nearly shouts, pointing a finger at her.

Katara’s heart clenches. He’s making this so much harder than it has to be. “You’re not.” And when he looks at her disbelievingly, she steels herself and continues. “You aren’t. But I can’t...we can’t keep doing this. I refuse to be the reason people lose faith in you. I won’t be the reason even more people turn against you. There is so much we can do, we are so powerful together - but I think we were naive to believe we could completely break down the hateful walls that war constructs in just a few years.”

In two long strides, he crosses the room and grabs her forearms. “Not this, Katara. Say anything but this. You are the only thing on this planet keeping me from going under. If you’re going to leave, at least do it because you’ve decided you hate me. Don’t do it for selfless reasons, please. What happened to being the two people in the world who never give up, no matter what?” He touches his forehead to hers so he can search for the answers in her eyes, but she can’t meet his gaze.

“I couldn’t hate you if I tried. I won’t lie to you, Zuko. I want nothing more than to hold your hand for the rest of our lives, but I think the time has come for us to be pragmatic about this. So many people in your nation are just waiting for you to mess up, and me becoming the Royal Consort will be their cue to tear you down. I will not be complicit in that.” Still not looking at him, she pries herself out of his warm hold and hugs herself. “I’ve already packed my things and the resignation letter is on your desk. I’ve talked to Azula too and she sees the necessity behind my decision.”

When she does glance up, she has to dig her toes into the carpet so she doesn’t rush to him and wipe the tears away. She can’t remember the last time she saw Zuko cry.

They maintain eye contact for a few seemingly never-ending moments, and with him looking at her like that, she feels like a murderer. Which is fitting, she supposes, since she has killed something here today.

His voice is brimming with venom that she knows veils pain. “Fine. Since you had the time to ask my sister about this and not me, fine. Did you also ask some of my councilmen while you were at it? How about some random people on the streets? Just let everyone help you in making this decision about our relationship, except for me!”

“Zuko-”

“Leave then! Why even bother telling me? The resignation letter would have been indicative enough!” There are sparks spinning around his fingertips. “Just go.”

“Zuko,” she hesitates, and when he doesn’t interrupt her she chokes out, “I’ll- I’ll leave. I’m sorry. I do still love you.” He collapses onto his bed, head in hands and she exhales shakily. “Maybe there is a world where the sun rises in the west. A world where our love signals the start of something new, instead of the end of your reign. I’m sorry we don’t live in that world.”

“Please, Katara.” His quiet sobs fill the room and she’s not sure if he’s pleading with her to stay or leave. Her hands come up to cover her mouth and tears she didn’t know were falling wet her sleeves.

Before anything can change her mind, she runs out of the room.

fun. I’d actually like to expand this at some point but also I have way too many stories rn, so we’ll see. again, thank you for the prompt :) I know it was a pretty loose interpretation but it’s what came to mind!

send me a ship and a prompt/story summary and i’ll write a short piece!

[justsomevoltronstuff]

FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr

also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)

also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤

this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura

please enjoy lovers🥺💜🌸

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The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.

You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.

You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.

You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.

Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.

“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.

Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.

“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.

They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”

You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”

Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.

You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.

Shiro

The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.

He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.

It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.

When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.

It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.

Lance

Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.

You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.

After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.

He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.

“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.

“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”

He flinched as he took in the woman's words.

“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”

Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.

Hunk

Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.

The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.

He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.

He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.

He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.

Keith

His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.

“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.

They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.

They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.

You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.

He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.

The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.

He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.

Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.

Pidge

Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.

And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.

Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.

After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.

Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.

Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.

Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.

Allura

She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.

She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.

“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.

Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.

Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.

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I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸

~Admin Rori💜

[moonlit-imagines]

Hate Is Such a Strong Word

Jerome Valeska x reader

warnings: gun, knives

a/n: aww thank you!! and same for you, stay safe 💖

prompt: anonymous: “Hey, I love your writing and I totally get why you’re in love with Cameron Monaghan, I’m crushing so hard rn! I’d like to request 43+62 for Jerome Valeska, please! Hope you’re well and stay safe, love!”// 43: “We’ve never been this close without trying to stab each other.”, 62: “You say you hate me, but that’s bullshit.”

Team ups, huh? After your big break from Arkham, last thing you wanted to do was see Jerome again, but he always came crawling back. There was no way to get rid of him. This time was no different.

“Y/N, y/n! Won’t you just listen to me? I have a plan, but it requires you, my dear.” Jerome begged outside of your apartment door, which only worried you because it could stir up the neighbors. You yanked the silverware drawer open and grabbed the biggest knife you could find, then unlocked the chain and two deadbolts to let Jerome inside.

“You need to keep it the hell down.” You put the knife to his throat and watched his smile grow while he licked his lips.

“Well, ‘hello’ to you, too. May I sit?” He pushed the knife down with his pointer finger and flopped onto your raggedy couch. “Oh, after this special event I’ve got planned, you can throw this piece of shit out.”

“What do you want, Jerome?” You sat on your coffee table, keeping the knife tight in your grasp and watching him sit up all excited-like.

“Glad you asked! I need a partner for my next assignment and you’re the perfect person to accompany me!” He tapped his fingers together mischievously and you shook your head.

“I’m done with the crazy shit, Jerome. I don’t wanna end up in Arkham again.” You grabbed the TV remote and turned on the news, it had to be better than this conversation.

“Hey!” Jerome reached for your chin and pulled your gaze back to him. His face was now inches from yours and your knife was lingering towards his stomach. “Look at me. I helped you get out of Arkham. Now you’re gonna return the favor, understand?”

“Bold of you to speak to me that way when you’re about to get stabbed.” You chuckled in his face and pressed the blade to his stomach some more.

“Baby, I know you don’t wanna deal with a dead body.” He kissed you on the lips and leaned back on the couch, leaving you burning up with rage, but wanting more of him, too. He slapped both of his legs and rushed to his feet. “Well, looks like we’re done here. I’ll be back tomorrow night with your costume and our plans. See ya soon.”

“I fucking hate you.” You threw your knife on the table and walked with him to the door so you could lock back up, but it was never so easy. He was quick, you didn’t expect him to grab your wrist so fast, but he pulled you against him and put his mouth next to your ear.

“You say you hate me, but that’s bullshit.” His words made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “You can’t get enough of me.” Jerome gently kissed your cheek and exited your home, slamming the door on his way out, there was no hesitation to lock the doors after he left.

—————

As you were making yourself eggs in the early afternoon, there was a knock at your door, no doubt it was Jerome. You dropped the spatula, then decided it might be best to keep it handy while you answered the door. You unlocked your three lines of defense and welcomed the crazed murderer into your shabby abode.

“Good afternoon, dear! Making eggs?” Jerome threw down his supplies and took a whiff of the air.

“Yeah, you want some?” You moved back to the kitchen to tend to your breakfast, leaving Jerome a bit shocked by your offer.

“Feeling generous today?” He mocked while he sorted through the pile of junk he brought.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” You removed the cooked eggs and cracked another two into the pan. “Do you like anything on your eggs?”

“Ketchup will do.” He was a bit focused on his scratchy notes scatted across the coffee table. You brought his eggs before him and it filled him with joy. “Ah, so y/n does like me!”

“I tolerate you, there’s a difference.” You added and saw the dry cleaners bag with some fancy apparel inside. “What the hell is that?”

“Glad you asked!” He pulled the plastic wrap away to reveal a designer outfit that looked as if it were for you. “This is what you’ll be wearing tonight. We’re wreaking a bit of havoc on a more...sophisticated crowd.”

“For fuck’s sake...” You went back to the kitchen to tend to your own eggs while Jerome went into wild detail about your plan for tonight, which didn’t seem much like a plan, more like an idea. He was just going to wing it with you as his date tonight.

“I think you should try this thing on,” he ran his fingers across some of the silk fabric, “stole it fresh from the dry cleaner down the street.”

“How very kind of you.” You finally finished making your breakfast and sat next to your new partner on the couch, tolerating the arm he wrapped around your shoulders while you ate.

“I miss this, the good old days.” He squeezed you a bit and planted a kiss on top of your head.

“Watch it, ginger.” You stuck your fork to his neck and heard his spine-chilling chuckle.

“You used to be so much fun...”

—————

Jerome and you stepped into the ballroom with your arms interlocked. He was looking quite dapper tonight, you couldn’t stop checking him out.

“We’ve never been this close without trying to stab each other.” You joked with him, earning a rather large grin from your date.

“I guess that’s true. Any way we change that?” He poked at the knives left out with the food and you gave him a nudge.

“Not now, Jerome. We’ve gotta sell this and we already look suspicious.” You glanced around the room of rich assholes and gave Jerome a look he had seen before, you really did miss him sometimes.

“We could always kick it off early, right? You’re gonna have to play your part as the damsel in distress...” He leaned in to kiss you, which you graciously accepted, swearing it was only for this little act.

“I’d like some dinner first, ‘babe.’” You led him over to grab your plates and headed to a nice candlelit table. He sat across from you and practiced his table etiquette by tucking his cloth napkin into his collar.

“Reminds me of our first date, what do you think?” Jerome cocked an eyebrow with a smirk and you scoffed, throwing your utensils down.

“Our first date was arson.” You rolled your eyes and fell back in your chair.

“Yeah, but there was chaos resulting in our presence, some music, and you look just as gorgeous as ever. I think I have exquisite taste, don’t you?” He reached his hand under the table and you felt his hand run against your leg.

“Not now, Jerome.” You picked your fork back up and continued to eat your free meal. “I’m ready to start the show whenever you are.”

“Oh, yeah?” His smile grew impossibly larger and he launched his seat back as he stood up, pulling a gun out of his suit. “Ladies and Gentlemen!” He took a shot in the air and pointed the barrel at you, who was acting as if you were terrified. “I have a little show...”

[deathwithacutename]

* I just wanna preface this entertaining story by saying that yes this is a true story, some major facts and details were changed and the story is kept vague on purpose.

If you're easily triggered by me saying black lives matter and you feel some type of way, well, that's life snowflake and just like facts idc about your feeling #sorrynotsorry #blm

I just went thru hell today ....for $185...from a job that fired me a week ago...

I can't make this shit up. I from a small town in the south and I recently had a falling out with my dad. Prompting me to move across the country with my bf. I've never lefty small town in my life but did on that day (real long story I'll post it some other time rn I feel tired) so long story short I needed a job. I cannot stress enough how shitty this place was....

First of all, these kids had no discipline, no structure, and no respect. (Not to sound like Rodney Dangerfield over here, but I gets no respect, lemme tell ya)

Every day, was like:

Me:Hey (kids name) why are you throwing paper?

Kid: idk

Me: well could u do me a favor (yes I would ask them to do me a favor as a means of trying to communicate with them with some oz of respect) could you not throw paper, please.

Kid: (looks me dead in my face and smirks while grabbing a piece of paper and throws it without breaking eye contact)

Me: *sigh, didn't I just tell you not to throw paper?

Kid: (WITH A STRAIGHT FACE) I didn't know you were talking to me.

Me: 😳 ???

You looked at me, DEAD IN THE FACE when I SPECIFICALLY SAID YOUR NAME, SMILED AND DID THE VERY FUCKING THING I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING DO!!!! WHILE LOOKING AT ME THE WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!!!

😡😡🤬🤬.....

😤😪 let it go d.w.a.c.n....theyre, kids, you can't hurt them....it's just a job...

**RAGE RAGE, FUCKING RAGE the ppl in my head are screaming this at this point**

Mind you, I'm in a whole new state with very little to my name, in a town full of Trumpettes, in an interracial relationship with beliefs that black lives matter, fuck da police, and smoke weed everyday etched in my soul with only my spouse to have my back, (and I aint a punk and I can hold my own in a fight, but the way the wild life situation is...it would be too late for rescue should my anger get the better of me and my family can help, so we not gonna test these gator infested waters round here) but I don't have my birth certificate, so I can't get my license so until I get straight and on my own, I gotta play it safe. So kids will be kids...more or less 🙄

So Friday is field trip day for these...childrennn and while the first one went alright, the second Friday I'm there was a complete disaster. Also on that second Friday I'm there I had to work 2 extra hours

Enter Monday, I come in for 8 hours and leave. At this point I'm already looking for another job, so any excuse to leave would have been fine, I just wanted to have another job lined up...but luck was never on my side and sure enough that Monday night the director TEXTS me to tell me she's letting me go blah blah, mind u this wasn't a permanent job l, I was really there to fill in some gaps for the summer, but nevertheless it's a shock. But, cool, whatever, she tells me she can email me the check or I can pick it up, I say email is fine and that's it. Next Friday I get it emailed, I can print it, cash it, get on with my life. Simple right?

No....no no...absolutely tf not, nothing can ever be simple.

So, Friday comes and I call to make sure I am still gonna receive it, do they have correct emails address blah blah and the director then says,

"you can come pick up your check, d.w.a.c.n if you want".

Hmm...hubby just got paid, and I gotta run errands anyway, why tf not? It's right down the road I'll go get that check, get his, cash them and be on my merry way, right

Why tf did I say yes? Cos the minute I did, shenanigans of a malicious nature began. So I run up to this miniature hell...I mean...daycare and here's what happens

8 am: inquire about check, confirming I'll pick it up

Me: I can come through and pick it up

Director (D): ok, give me a few minutes to get there

9 a.m. I text to see if she's at the office, no answer...

10 a.m. I drive there to see if she's there; no show

10:30 a.m. me and hubby still waiting on this woman to arrive

It was then I decided to go get hubby's check, cash it and put it on his card, grab a quick breakfast and get back before she leaves and if she does dip, well, she can surely just cash it and leave it for me right?

Word of advise kids, never EVER leave fate up to chance, especially when you're born with hellaciously bad luck as I have been gifted. Don't. Do. It.

11 a.m sure enough she dipped. Can anyone guess what she didn't do?

For those who said she didn't print the check, you are correct, here's a cookie.

But, death, u may ask, how hard is it to print a check, surely not that hard right?

Rule number 2, and I cannot stress this enough. NEVER, EVER IN YO LIFE UNDERESTIMATE THE STUPIDITY OR INCOMPETENCE OF OTHERS. Don't do it, they'll surprise you every goddamn time cos I swear, trying to get these ppl to print this check convinced me that it would be easier to train a cat to grow opposable thumbs and open the tightest jars of pickles at will. Kid u not, can not make this shit up.

Fast forward and it's now 3 p.m.

No check, once again. So I call instead of going up there, mostly cos I don't want to get my ass kicked from cops bc I go up there and show the repressed nigga inside ready to pop out and fuck some shit up. I've never been to jail, but it would be my luck to get shot instead, especially now (and we not gonna make this shit political, ok? Any blue lives matter or all lives matter motherfucker who wanna come here and start shit will do well to remember that this ain't about u, this is just me venting, I ALSO have free speech and if you want to start some shit with me, I'm just gonna tell you to kiss the deepest, blackest part of my ass after I take a shit, and that's as far as I'm gonna engage with u ok? Ok)

So, long story (condensed) I finally get my check after my ghetto side leaks thru the phone. How much for my struggle?

Well if you were paying attention, you would know: $185.00

That's it. I went all day and had to eat d8 to not feel like crashing my car into this daycare center (kids were on a field trip, don't worry they weren't gonna be in harm's way, I hate kids but I am not THAT crazy) for a whopping 185.

I hate this world.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Gracie! Can't tie either parental down so you're unlucky enough to be my first port of call Rio: If I come down this week (half term, right? God I feel old not knowing, ick!) how many of yous are gonna be about? Wanna catch all of you if I can Grace: I'm not surprised, Nico thinks mum's charger is the most fun thing EVER and you know dad still kicks it like he's at some 70s disco instead of a restaurant kitchen. So cringe! Grace: Iggy's took off in the van and Pablo's never here even when he is (ugh we get it, you're hanging shush) but everyone else maybe? Grace: Unless Junior's nerding it up idk Rio: Bless them, you'll miss them when you go Rio: Mum and Dad, the cats, only your faves and Nico is a little bitch 😂 Rio: Good enough for me! Sure enough I'll only hold any of yas down for a hot second regardless Rio: What've you been up to? Got any fun plans then? Grace: 😂 No way they're the worst and won't give me the chance Grace: Ask Janis they're always in her grill now she has a bf she can't ever peel herself off of Grace: Gurl you better make time for me! 😚 London's like another planet and I need that goss Grace: Gotta keep uploading that 🐰🐣 content Grace: but keeping it lowkey 👌 Rio: They're highkey nerds, tis true, least they give a shit, eh? 😘 Rio: Fucking knew it, sneaky bitch. I asked her at NYE and she said nah but I KNEW Rio: Ugh, gonna give her SO much shit when I come back 😂 Rio: Duh! My goss might not set the teenybop influencer world alight but think you'll be into it Rio: Also, got some lush bunny ears from work you can style up if you like, there's the content Rio: Very Ariana Grace: We're so blessed 🙏 Grace: OMFG THANK YOU 👏 she's such a lying bitch Grace: And they are so 😍💍💘 it's HONESTLY disgusting like I can't Grace: YAS 👑!! babes I knew I was missing you Grace: Such a mood Rio: 🙌 Rio: Steady on 😂 Fill me on the beef before I'm taking sides Rio: Can't roll like that babe 🙉 Rio: Is he a twat? I could barely get a look in, hot property with the whole fam that night not just Jan, like 😏 Rio: Right? My turn to THANK YOU 'cos all the other girls were raging after me lemme tell you, saying it reeked of misogyny and cheesy old school playboy Rio: Not educated in Hef paving the way for ladies being allowed to be sexual, ESP the sistas 💣💥 Rio: Its iconic, yeah? Like hush Grace: Honey not even! Now he's got her feeling the 💖 we all benefit Grace: Like from 💀 to 😍!! Grace: Here's the thing he's NICE!! 😮 How and who tf !! 😂 In THESE ends Grace: He's pimped my feed with his 📷 more that once. Lush! Grace: Trust her to find the one decent lad Grace: OMG how shaming! it's literally so on point I feel bad for how off they are. Beyond awkward Grace: 👯💜 Rio: Can't argue with that Rio: It'll be nice to see her happy Rio: All of yous Rio: Yeah, had noticed your new lad was off the feed Rio: Just not the one or do I need to crack skulls on YOUR behalf? Spill! 😘 Maybe Gus has had his 💔 Rio: Right? Not complaining when they were raking in the tips and looking fly doing it, this is why Vinnie listens to me and not them though so 💋 win win for me Grace: 🤞 Grace: UGH don't go there babe Grace: I'm off men rn 🙏 so you can relax Grace: Give Gus and Diego their time to shine 😂 Grace: OMG PLEASE say you can finally get me in sometime soon! 💋 Rio: Good girl 👍 Rio: Me too, more trouble than they're worth, and I'll always check what they're worth, feel me Rio: Love 'em 😂 I'd say they keep me sane but not with the shenanigans they still manage to get themselves into, nah lads Rio: You're old enough that I can vouch for you with him to get you in but Imma need to go out in Dubo with you first Rio: See how you handle your liquor, can't be risking the boss' license if you're gonna get #WGW 😏 Grace: I 100% swear down that D has a 💘 at his school but he's pulling a Jan over it so Grace: Yay! I'm buzzing Grace: Say when and I'll be on it Grace: The vibe looks EPIC in every insta it's 💕 Rio: Surely not! My babies! 😭 Rio: I've changed all ya nappies, it ain't right, I tell ya! 👵 Rio: Whenever you can pencil me in darling 💋 If you come back on the plane with me you'll only have to do the one back alone Rio: Unless you want to bring a mate but you've gotta vouch for them 'cos I don't know them enough to put my name on the line, they ain't my little sister 💛 Grace: 😂😂 I had to go full spa on him cos he was 🙎 and not vibing with the sheet masks he'd been stealing from me for WEEKS 😂😂 Grace: He's so 😍 for someone Grace: This is HAPPENING 👌 Mum'll say yes cos it's obvs for my mental health Grace: It's enough for collab our schedules tbh imagine trying to get the squad hooked up Rio: Aww! What a little sweetie! 😭 Giving me so much fodder to get 'em all with, yas gurl! 🙊 Rio: She defs knows the benefit of letting ya hair down and if she disagrees then she ain't our Muvva 👽 Rio: Same when I was your age, so many parties, so much time stretching ahead...ugh, hark at me Rio: Speaking of though, Pabs has managed to keep outta the drunk tanks since my last visit, yeah? 🙄 Chief Grace: I'd say go easy cos the acne is !! but where was mine was I was a 🍕 me and payback are bitches that have each other's backs like 😂 Grace: So welcome 💋 remember who treated you right hun 😚 Grace: Oh babe that's proper tragic 😂 Are you okay?! Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'd lie to spare your feels but I can't even cos he is not forgiven! Fuck him truly Rio: Way harsh babe! Gotta share that knowledge and spot treatment 🙏 older sib duties ✌ you only gotta look out for them 3, feel MY pain when I wanna be a petty bitch please 😉😂 Rio: Clearly not, like...What tf am I like? 🙈 Rio: Still in the dog house then...I hope little miss tiny tits is too, seen her being snide on the 'gram Rio: we know she's no 😇 so as long as she's getting her share of the 💩 from you, I ain't judging on the Pabs score 👌 Grace: 😈 LMAO jks obvs I'm living for getting to flex like that Grace: Nobody else lets me near their face, their loss but still BOO Grace: Ugh yes cos he doesn't even see that he did me WRONG she was trying he's just an idiot and its like BOY NO Grace: Never learning them lessons Grace: 🚫 No worries there she's BEYOND cancelled 🚫 Grace: I hate that bitch Rio: That's why you gotta get them clients honey, just you wait, people will be BEGGIN' for your time and expertise 😘 Rio: Yeah, he's a fool in general though Rio: Not to say that ain't valid, 'cos 100% babe, but it wasn't personal, like Rio: Try to remember that 'cos he's not that boy, no matter what typa foolishness he's caught up in rn 😒 Rio: 👏 I like what I'm hearing, Gracie! So much growth! Rio: Here for it Grace: I feel you but also it's like idk it was personal to me cos she was my best friend and he knew that Grace: On some level idk Grace: Whatever I'm trying to be over it Grace: There's bigger 🐠 Rio: Fair Rio: Idk if he knows he knew...Mouthful Rio: Give him time and a chance, but that's it, sensible big sister said her piece on that, you're free to go on doing what you're doing 😜 Grace: Thanks 👑 Grace: Rio, I can forreal come to london right? Like you're not just shhing me Grace: I'm so done with this place atm Rio: Of course you can Rio: As long as the 'rents sign off on it, you can stay for as long as you like Rio: That's Dubo for ya...gets under your skin Rio: Anything else I can do, tho? Grace: 💜 Grace: Ugh it's just everything Grace: There's barely anything I can do Grace: Ignore me I'm a hormonal 👾 Rio: Have you had your B12 and folates checked? Billie and Edie were anaemic you should double-check 'cos that will have you feeling rough as Grace: 👼 You're adorbs Grace: Enough of my chatter anyway, how are you? Rio: 👀 okurr but we're coming back to this later Rio: 'cos I'm same old same old Rio: Nothing beyond the promised goss of London to report Rio: No boys, remember? Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Oh please you always have a boy Grace: Spill it Rio: 😨 Swear on my life, babe! Rio: Nothing and no one Grace: We're twinning then 💕 Grace: Do tell Janis 😂 Rio: Coming for ya brand Rio: Shameless 😏 like to think I could pass, not that old or having THAT crisis tho, jfc Grace: 👯💣🔥 Grace: You're flawless babe don't even stress Grace: when I'm your age I'll have to pray Rio: Aww, you doll, extra brownie points for boosting my ego 💋 Rio: What you chattin'?! We're all babes, lbr Grace: 😂 shhh avó be repping herself hard in me and no offence 👵 it's not goals 💔 lmao Grace: obrigado,... mas não, obrigado like she rocks it but she's also way old so Grace: the struggle is real 😂 Rio: You're mad gal Rio: don't be wasting your youth hating on what you'll miss Rio: though we all age like fine wine, avó paving the way 💣 Rio: Ma was onto something having us so young Grace: Don't let her hear you say that Grace: My ears are still ringing from her calling me out Rio: umm Rio: BISH YOU WHAT Grace: 🤷 No drama just Rio: You weren't on the pill? Or missed a day? Rio: We've all had the scare but I never got as far as needing to tell Mum Rio: You poor thing! 😨🙈 Grace: Well obvs that was my bad but she only made me die about a thousand times Grace: I survived Rio: Eeep! Rio: At least she didn't march you down the clinic in a shame cone like most would round here Grace: OMG like she made me go but my ootd was my own doing 🙏 Rio: Not so much as a high collar in sight 🙌 Rio: Explains your hormones though, babe, that shit will FUCK you up for ages Rio: so no worries there Grace: I know exactly what I'm in for Grace: Ugh Rio: Forreals Rio: Who'd be a fucking woman, eh? Grace: Mia. To fuck over the others Grace: kms Rio: 😂 Rio: Fueled by her PMS that one Grace: [Sends her 2 very similar selfies} which one do you vibe the most with? Rio: 1st one, s'more natural Rio: smile ALMOST reaches your eyes Grace: lmao Grace: Thanks babes Rio: if you gonna fake it 'til you make it Rio: gotta keep you the realest, ain't I? 😉 Grace: gotta keep me 😂 Rio: Wanna Rio: Blood ties aside 😘 Grace: 💜 Rio: Best get ready for work Rio: Could use you here to do my look for me, cba tonight 😐 blah Grace: I'd be living for that you know it but you'll be killing it with or without me, honey Grace: You got this gurl Rio: Cheers 🍸 Rio: I'll get the first round in when I see ya boo 💋 Grace: Yay! So excited 😚