Honestly at this point, whenever I have an attack of weird doubt and self consciousness about wearing men’s clothes it’s kind of comical to me. Like 🙄 this again?? As if you haven’t been doing this every single day of your life since you got out of the plaid uniform skirt era and won’t be doing it every single day until you pass away from a cardiac event in rush hour traffic at age 53.5 and would rather die than change your ways. So why are you getting all dramatic about it nowwwww
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i can't go shopping for clothes alone bc that's so scary and one time my bestie made me make a pinterest board for fashion i'm into and i actually made two of those but the other one is just full of pictures of matthew lillard but that's besides the point. point being it pains me bc i want to dress in cozy looking cardigans and bright colors but also 70s inspired fashion and i want to use so much jewelry and accessories but also full black techwear looks so good and i also want to dress like hellboy and a wizard who looks like howl's bedroom and my dream is to dress like i came straight from bloodborne. but also i work in IT and own nothing but band t shirts and cargo pants.
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Soooooo, someone may have reread her fav Star Wars au aka pbatmb, and I am DESPERATE for the next chapter of vowbreaker
No pressure obviously, I’m just happy to exist in the same universe as those fix’s but also… I’m on my knees and figured you should know
for some reason this ask got me thinking of a scene in vowbreaker where someone tells anakin that normal people who are in mourning sometimes go to a church to pray and talk about their loss with a priest or confess their sins/guilts in confessional as part of their grieving process
and vaderkin knows everyone's eyes are on him and that for the sake of obi-wan's memory he needs to pretend to be normal so he goes to church and prays for the first time in like. his whole life and he's like 'dear god. this is not what i usually do when i'm on my knees. i don't know the next step. xoxo pretty bird'
he goes to confession and just starts talking and the priest on the other side is like
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@grellsaw &&. said... hc + fashion
i have a lot of completely normal thoughts about the symbolism of red being such a predominant color in al's attire. ( which is to say, entirely deranged — is anyone surprised? ) i know red is often associated with a myriad of very powerful feelings — passion, anger, violence and so on. i think in alastor's case specifically it can also symbolize a loss of innocence. i've always imagined his wardrobe was fairly monochromatic when he was a child and he gradually began incorporating more and more pops of red as he grew older. in-universe i don't think he believes there's any reason for it beyond simply liking the color red — but symbolically it's not a coincidence that the gradual takeover coincided with the advent of his serial killer era. al has a lot of really weird internalized ideas about sin in general that kind of ties into how he doesn't believe in redemption — like your crimes are no easier to erase than ink staining a piece of paper. i think he subconsciously begins dressing in more and more red like he's putting his sins on full display. as if the blood of his victims have stained even the clothes that he wears in a daily basis. it's kind of his equivalent of how some killers almost WANT to be caught out of a twisted sense of pride and hunger for acknowledgement.
he doesn't feel guilt — and even to this day, he would very gleefully and unapologetically say that the people he killed deserved it. but there is still some degree of self-loathing involved nonetheless that al absolutely refuses to acknowledge. ( and has in fact repressed to such a degree he isn't aware that it's even present. ) it all ties into how al has a very low opinion of sinners despite being a sinner himself — and one of the worst among them. i've said it before, but if he never accidentally killed his father he would have led a wildly different life and presumably never hurt anyone. the knowledge of what he did simply warped his own self-perception irrevocably and he eventually embraced the fact that he was a monster — and in his own mind, nothing he ever did would be able to redeem him.
which adds an extra element of irony to how his appearance as a sinner is so predominantly red. by the time he manifests in hell, he's embraced being horrible wholeheartedly and his choice of attire reflects this. red is now his main color; he is, symbolically, entirely drenched in the blood of his ever-growing list of victims. there is only an absolutely miniscule shred of white still present on his person — just as there is only an absolutely miniscule shred of the person he used to be before the killings began.
HC + A WORD
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My parents are great but I am kinda worried about how they will appear at the banquet ceremony lol the email we received specifically said jeans would not be appropriate, it's professional/semi-formal and when I told my parents they were like uhhhh.... but dad only has jeans.
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