#first roll - polymorph into a sheep

[chipped-chimera]

So DND is going great (I traded warlock patrons, became a foiled dragonborn in the process and in a separate incident now accidentally trapped myself in the astral plane for decades just to try and make a dwarf laugh)

[creative-frequency]

More Astarion brainrot, cause why not? One day I'll start posting the whole thing. Maybe.

“Speaking of magic,” Astarion begins and you can sense what’s coming. “I heard you prepared quite the polymorphic spectacle today.”

You roll your eyes.

“I’m so sad I missed it,” he teases.

“Sure I can turn you into a sheep–” a yawn cuts your sentence, “–tomorrow.”

It was not the first Wild Magic catastrophe on your journeys and likely would not be the last either. Only this time the whole party of four – Lae’zel, Shadowheart, Gale and yourself – were within the danger zone.

“I’d say the first watch after a day of exploring is a fitting punishment,” Astarion muses.

“Hells, I’m so tired already,” you grumble, rubbing your eyes. The campfire flames are so bright they almost hurt to look at.

“Sorry, darling. I can’t stay, I have my own needs to attend to,” Astarion says and spins on his heels, ready to leave you alone to tend to the camp.

“If I let you drink from me, will you take the watch?” you slip.

Astarion stops in the middle of his spin. He turns back to meet your serious look, unable to believe his pointy ears. “What an interesting offer.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve wanted to do ever since I stumbled upon your secret?” you ask, feeling nervous and already regretting your boldness.

Astarion can’t exactly deny your words, but he still takes his wins wherever he can.

“What would dear Wyll say if he knew you were even suggesting such debauchery, hmm?” Astarion teases you, but you can see his eyes flash with anticipation and the sudden tension in his posture.

Oh, how he has been waiting to hear those words from your lips.

He could have bitten anyone since he realised that Cazador’s old orders, which prohibited him from drinking blood without his Master’s explicit permission, no longer bound him. But the wait made this moment just so much sweeter.

You scoot over to leave room on the fallen tree trunk for Astarion to sit down. “Wyll doesn’t really have a say in this, does he?” you reply.

“Of course, dear. What happens in camp, stays in camp.”

Contradictions and Other Counter-Measures Ch. 1

[alucohc]

i felled voss and qudenos at the mountain pass (and you can too)

this works (for some definition of "works") as of patch 4. why anyone other than me would want to do this is beyond me, as they're only worth a combined 650 xp

first of all you can't just barrelmancy them. voss will parry as much as (and probably more) 80 damage from one source (despite this being way more than the 20 he should be able to parry and the fact that barrels are generally not considered weapons). i tried getting around this ability by incapacitating him, but he shrugs off hold person immediately (on your turn in turn-based mode) and doesn't even bother rolling a save for drow poison.

what you're instead going to do is trigger the first cutscene with the gith patrol and then progress to act 2 through grymforge. when you return to the mountain pass, you will be able to damage (and more importantly if you want 400 xp, aggro) voss. a couple of well-placed barrels should do the trick.

unless you somehow managed to find way more explosives than i did, this will not kill qudenos. not even close. this next bit is a little jank and almost definitely not worth the measly 250 xp (and no loot) you get for it.

you will need mourning frost, a scroll of polymorph, basic poison, water, several smokepowder barrels, a fire arrow, so much fucking willpower, and two hours of time that you don't mind pissing away

step 1: polymorph their ass. i did this at level 5 on my st joat file so my chance of success was 9%. do not be like me.

step 2: toss a basic poison at them. this is not strictly necessary, but it will save you a couple hours. just make sure they actually get poisoned.

step 3: deal cold damage to the sheep. it doesn't matter if the polymorph breaks; they just need to fail the save against chilled. once you're done soft resetting, start running for the hills.

step 4: make that dragon wet (and then frozen). note that frozen only lasts for one turn. you'll want to be a pretty good distance away from ground zero at this point.

step 5: light 'er up. (while qudenos is still frozen)

congrats on wasting several hours of your life :]

[thebookworm0001]

I would like to know how Taavani's wild magic manifests and has it ever gotten her in trouble?

I love Reycarn's design so much, she looks gorgeous and terrifying! What's your favorite part of her backstory or something that happened during your game?

Ilrith is just beautiful, like a sapphire. How did they become a bard? Were they a popular performer back home?

Keiran look like a sweet cinnamon roll. Is he? (he also reminds me of Alistair. lol) How does he get along with Shadowheart?

Your Lloth-sworn durge looks positively evil. What's the worst thing she does in your playthrough?

Thank you for the asks! I love these!

I would like to know how Taavani's wild magic manifests and has it ever gotten her in trouble?

The better question is when hasn’t it gotten her into trouble. The first time her wild magic acted up, she burned down her house. And giant bonfires in the underdark aren’t exactly helpful. She gives Gale a fair amount of anxiety because a simple illumination spell may end up with them having a Cambion to kill. Summoning spells, polymorphs, teleportation. You name the spell, it’ll happen and at the absolute worst opportunity. Why does she keep using her magic? Probably because it would feel a bit like cutting off a limb. Sussur flowers are not a favorite plant of hers. 

Probably the funniest and surprisingly helpful instance of this was a fight in act 3 and having everyone, Big Bad included, turn into sheep for several rounds. Couldn’t do a damn thing to the enemy but was able to use my one not transformed companion to knock out an environmental thing so the fight could actually end. There was still an angry-from-being-summoned cambion to take out after that but hey it worked. 

I love Reycarn's design so much, she looks gorgeous and terrifying! What's your favorite part of her backstory or something that happened during your game?

She’s got a design I am absolutely in love with. Though I am eternally amused at how many dark urges get this same tattoo lol

My favorite part of her backstory is that she’s always been trying to be a good person. She was raised to treat people well and to seek to help those around her before her Urge came to her. But even when she doesn’t have any real choices about her Urge and the positions it puts her in, she still tries to aim her impulses at people who actually deserve what she’ll do to them. Though that gets more terrifying because she actually enjoys those occasions just on her own. She’s real fucked up. But losing her memory is probably the best thing to happen to her in a century because of the fresh start it gives her.

Favorite thing that happened in the game that isn’t Spoilers is probably just how terrifyingly lethal she is in battle. Her current build means she usually gets to sneak attack at the very start of combat and the damage she does is. Absurd. She is constantly slipping into and out of invisibility to utterly wreck anyone in her path. 

Ilrith is just beautiful, like a sapphire. How did they become a bard? Were they a popular performer back home?

Ilrith would be flattered by the complement. She sorta stumbled into it. Picked up music at an early age and ended up sneaking away to joining a traveling band a lot earlier than is probably wise or safe. But the troupe that she ended up with was fairly popular. They had requests to perform for a handful of nobles around Faerun, even. They dropped off the map a bit when one of their group - a teenager who’d joined them from a group of druids - died pretty horribly. Ilrith just couldn’t will herself to play for a while. She’d finally got back into the circuit when the Illithid picked her up.

Keiran look like a sweet cinnamon roll. Is he? (he also reminds me of Alistair. lol) How does he get along with Shadowheart?

He is such a cinnamon roll. Just. The sweetest. You’d assume he’s a life cleric meeting him because the idea of that darling boy hurling lighting and thunder just doesn’t compute. 

He loves everyone, but has taken to looking at Shadowheart with the biggest puppy-dog eyes. He just thinks she’s amazing. The shar thing is… well. Mostly he feels badly for her. Shadowheart is mostly (pretending to be) annoyed with how much of a goody-two-shoes he is. (They’re gonna get married hehe)

Your Lloth-sworn durge looks positively evil. What's the worst thing she does in your playthrough?

So far? Kill Arabella. Like, very much on purpose gets her killed and got warm fuzzies thinking about making it happen. This is my evil Durge run and I’ve barely gotten to the grove, so it’s going to get so much worse. 

[murderousjelliebean]

It's ✨️fun✨️ having a wild magic sorcerer in a low- level party. You never know what's gonna happen. Like the first time my mom (player of a tiefling wild magic sorceress) activated it, she got to do 4d10 lightning damage to up to 3 creatures within range. This time (second time) she became immune to the effects of alcohol for 5d6 (i rolled 17) days. Other stuff on the table includes turning bright blue until someone uses Remove Curse on you, growing a feather beard, growing a forehead eye that gives you advantage on sight-related perception checks for the duration, turning into a potted plant, polymorphing yourself into a sheep, dealing 1d10 necrotic damage to every creature in range and regaining that number of hit points yourself, CASTING FIREBALL AS A LEVEL 3 SPELL CENTERED ON YOURSELF, rolling on the wild magic table at the start of every turn for the next minute (10 in game rounds), getting a DMPC unicorn for the next minute, casting magic missile as a level 5 spell, and so, *_SO_* much more.

[vickyvicarious]

I was playing DND last night with my siblings and we finished on one of the funniest sessions yet.

First, we spent what added up to nearly ten real time hours engaged in fighting a single black pudding, then making our way down one (1) empty hallway and fighting a vampire. The vampire, despite having a special legendary weapon, was deemed a failure by the dice and literally never once succeeded in biting or charming a single one of us. He also got like five nat 1s. Still, via various tactics, he was a challenge to defeat. To add to the humor, one of those tactics was his Children of the Night which called seven swarms of rats. Multiples of us were being swarmed/chewed on for over six rounds straight, and the rats actually did more damage overall than the vampire did.

Anyway, the battle was fun but when it ended was the best part. My character is a Tabaxi wild magic sorceror/artificer, and we have homebrewed our own wild magic rules to make it more interesting/happen more often. So, like two rounds before the vampire was defeated, I set off my wild magic, and the effect was to keep rolling wild magic automatically after every turn for 1 minute (10 rounds).

The first few rounds nothing big/bad happened. I got to add metamagic options to my next spell for free, my eyes were glowing and appearing to weep blood after each spell I cast - fun but nothing too extreme. Meanwhile we defeated the vamp, and I opened up a Rope Trick for my party to go up and take a short rest. I planned to join them as soon as my wild magic stopped firing. As soon as they were up there, the wild magic started getting weird.

First, I increased one size, from Medium to Large for one hour. I had to lay down since the room wasn't tall enough, but at least I was blocking the door.

I got the same roll again. I increased to Huge. Now I was a giant catperson curled up and filling the entirety of this room in the vampire's lair.

I teleported to a space I could see, but there was basically nowhere since I filled the whole room by now, so I just flipped like when you rotate a picture 180 degrees.

I spent the next turn doing nothing but coughing up a hairball. This hairball was the size of a horse.

I had to roll a Wisdom save not to Polymorph myself, and failed with a nat 1, so I became a Huge sheep, mental stats and all. The sheep, confused and stuck, tried to chew on the hairball.

The sheep began emitting a powerful stench for one minute, strong enough to poison anyone who smelled it.

The confused, stinky sheep generated a skeleton which matched its current bones and was animated only to copy all its movements until destroyed. So a Huge sheep skeleton appeared in the room suddenly, and as I had the brains of a sheep this startled me and I tried to headbutt and bite it with my limited space. It then tried to do the same with me, and we just did that for a while, baaing and eventually cautiously nibbling at one another as my party and I cried laughing at the table. This effect lasts until destroyed but doesn't change form, so even after I return to normal I will have a Huge sheep skeleton following me around and attempting to perfectly mimic all my movements - forever, if I wish to keep it. (I wish to keep it.)

[ladytyburn]

You can find my D&D Campaign Masterpost here, if you are interested in Rhekine’s backstory. 

In our last campaign, we were instructed to meet a wizard, who might have information on our campaign’s BBEG.

Rhekine, having read many fictional books about wizards, fancies himself an expert and certainly knows that wizards are very secretive and will only talk to other Wizards about this kind of stuff.

So he dresses up as one, as seen above. For the entire campaign, I kept up a “mighty old man” voice and had Rhekine refer to himself as “Lord Rhukine the Sunless - wait what do you mean you haven’t heard of me??”

We were sent through Prysbytrs door portal as usual and arrived on a field near a small village. A sheep ran up to us, carrying a scroll in its mouth.

Our paladin used the scroll, which turned out to be a spell to talk to animals. The sheep was actually the wizard we were looking for, who had been polymorphed by his powerhungry and arrogant apprentice, after stealing his staff and kicking him out of his tower.

So we decided to help him out - Rhekine came up with a plan to challenge the apprentice to a contest of wizarding skills, with the final challenge being a wandless duel. Rhekine speculated that if he beat the apprentice in the other challenges and then mocked him accordingly, the apprentice would put down the main source of his power - the staff of true polymorph, that he stole from his master, to prove his “true” skills.

The first challenge: Precision

Rhekine and the apprentice took turns trying to hit a target with spells. The main rule: The spell must leave a mark on the target that could only be a certain size, so you couldn’t just blast away the whole target.

Rhekine is a Way of the Sun Soul Monk, so he used the hand that was holding the staff to punch a Radiant Sun Bolt at the target. Due to some unfortunate rolls on the DMs side, the apprentice suffered an emberassing loss, and also expended three of his spellslots.

The second challenge: Speed

The contestants were tasked to make their way around the tower as quickly as possible. Whoever reached the finishline first, would win. The rule: The whole way around the tower had to be made, teleportation was off-limits.

Our Paladin had the resources to make an improvised but powerful smokebomb, and when the race began and the apprentice cast haste and greese on himself, Rhekine threw the smoke bomb and walked over to the finish line.

The apprentice arrived moments later, not really believing his eyes, but having to admit defeat a second time. 

The third challenge: Summoning

The contestants needed to summon a familiar, and the summoning was to be judged by how intelligent, powerful and overall useful the familiar was. The rule: You couldn’t just transform something that was already alive.

Rhekine had a pipe that summoned a fey toad named “Hubbub” from a previous adventure.

Hubbub however might be able to talk and has his own will, but pretty much won’t / can’t do much more than that. This round went to the apprentice, who summoned his bed, polymorphed into a dragon.

Rhekine declared himself winner, but the apprentice was pissed, said that they obviously arrived at a draw, “since his summon was so much more impressive”, and demanded a final match to settle the score.

With a grin, Rhekine challenged him to a battle of wandless magic. The apprentice agreed, and put away his staff.

Our Paladin took the staff, and tried to use it on the wizard - but the staff promptly exploded, killing the wizard and transforming all the apprentice’s minions back into somewhat confused and angry humans. The apprentice ran away. 

The wizard had managed to make a sort of astral plane force ghost out of himself and conveniently answered all the questions we had regarding the BBEG before fading away. (Thank you, DM!) The wizard was surprisingly chill about having just died, but the DM and I both love the Discworld novels, so people going “huh, interesting” upon dying, and other wacky stuff just working, is to be expected, I guess.

[paintedwarpony]

C2E136 HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT

The Auction of Weird Stuff

Cast gigglefits slowing game start

Instant Wild Magic Table

Flying V

SPRINKLE ARTAGAN THEORY IS TRUE

TRUESIGHT, DARKVISION AND TELEPATHY

Cast absolute freak outs

"He'll think about us, its weird."

Arguing about robot hotness

Travis ran out of Jurassic Park Velociraptor Kitchen Scene

Caleb volunteering to go first and immediate team protest

THE AEORIAN DELORIAN

Essek and Caleb talking about time travel magic

Shadowgast Crumbs

"Its complicated..."

"... don't come out of the closet." ".. uuuhhhh."

"We experienced this with Keyleth!"

Fjord and Veth antics

The entire party whispered panicked whispered plans

Matt quietly laughing at their panic whispers

The cast crying laughing over their chaos planning

"Essek got a 30!"

"We would be the snacks..."

Taste of their own medicine: Intuit Charge

Widofjord Crumbs: Caleb standing protectively over Fjord

A REAL PICKLE

Kaiju Battle

Dispelling the Intuit Charges

Finding crystal vials and a possible 15 used Intuit Charges

Planar Cracks/Leylines?

Facing Lucien and Cree

Essek's continued absence

Lucien playing with the Cloven Crystal

Lucien not liking Beau using the Eyes

"Circus Man" causing a twitch in Lucien/Signs of Molly?

The Hunger?

"Splooshes."

"Make this world better than when you found it..."

Lucien and Cree jump into the Astral Plane towards the city

The salty water was an opening from the Elemental Plane of Water: leviathan beast

"Does it have giant boobies!?" "It does."

Jester screaming DO SOMETHING at Artagan in Sprinkle form

Failed Polymorph

SLAP SLAP

BUTTONS

Howuwannadodis?

Do the boobs move with its eyes?

WILD MAGIC 81- Veth shrinks to Tiny

WILD MAGIC 70- Caleb teleports to desired location but Polymorphs into a Sheep then jumps into the portal

Sheepshifted

"In space no one can hear you bleat."

Sheep INT of 2

All the sheep puns

Essek casts Goth Dunamancy Fly Wings on Caduceus

Essek and Casuceus in cahoots flying around

Essek not enjoying flight

Where's my girlfriend?

Eyes, face, boobs and all

"Do I see a sheep?"

"Anything for my princess!"

"I'M APPALLED!"

Continued sheep puns

Essek looking rough and grappled

Travis' Extra British Accent

Regular Rolls, Regular Rolls

Essek Misty Step and War Caster

Caduceus Fly of 60ft

"Its you and me, Tiddies."

Still hits Jester through the portal and grapples her

Veth clutch Mage Hand pulls the portal closed

Astral Sea and the Somnovum

Voices in the Empire Kids Head

MORE SHEEP PUNS

Yasha at 16HP of 154

SHOPNOZA EPISODE

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 136

1. The M9 eventually find a way to catch up with Lucien and Cree (or even get in front of them) before they are able to go to the astral sea AND at least start the combat please and thanks (Bonus: Cree gets a wild magic effect that gives M9 some advantage or laughs).

OH NO an intuit charge they were ambushed! The TT were way ahead of them... They caught up though! Lucian and Cree are still there... oops never mind they got ahead AGAIN, no TT combat today. Well, astral sea here we come!

2. Caleb and Beau’s eyes come into play at some point but are helpful to them instead of being used against them (look, let me try to be optimistic).

They have true sight! They can communicate telepathically to ANYONE! Hey, at least they gained some magical abilities and SOME sort of profit from all that anxiety. The eyes were still used against them to sense their presence.

3. Some long one-on-one conversations between any characters please, I need the RP experience! Any two of them would have a great dynamic.

Welp, I mean, combat time! Combat is also good, who needs RP anyways :(

4. More wild magic effects from casting in Aeor! Jester, Essek, Caduceus, Veth I’m looking at y’all. Caleb and Fjord already had their fun, but I won’t say no to more. (Bonus: the effects are harmless and fun ones like how they have been).

Oh no Veth... Is tiny... At least it didn’t cost any hit points? CALEB IS A SHEEP THAT WALKED INTO THE PORTAL LMAO. That was one of the wild magic effects that I wanted to see the most and it was as funny as possible.

5. Even more Aeorian ruin exploration and finding clues that may help them with the city business, but no more side combats before getting to the TT.

Caleb rolled 31 arcana on the runic circle wow transmutation + dunamancy! Temporal alteration! 31 on investigation too wow Caleb, “primal artifact”? TIME TRAVEL?? So that’s why it’s called the Temporal Dock! Also, wow, they actually did not enter any other side combats before TT, using stealth and magic. They were forced into a side combat after getting to them though.

6. Beau and Yasha continue with their PDA AND have a private moment together (let’s hope for both, because why not).

“Yasha your hair looks really great” lol Beau is not wasting any time is she. Yasha’s defensive “she’s wonderful” was ooc but cute lol. “Anything for my princess” lmao stop you guys. No private moment, but close enough.

7. Jester and Fjord heal each other at some point OR have more physical contact (they were so cute last episode).

Jester healed Fjord! I’m sad it had to happen but it was a good heal too. Jester also picked up the paralyzed Fjord after the intuit charges!

8. Continuing to hope for Essek’s fancy dunamantic spells OR magical items (I felt Caleb so hard last episode, I too am attracted to power and skills).

Purple sparkling dunamancy fly wings oh YEAH. Thanks for maintaining concentration on Cad you beautiful war caster you.

9. Veth and Fjord diss each other at some point OR exhibit support for each other, I love their love-hate relationship.

“Fjord can shape water... yes you can, you got it” lol Also the discussion about Veth preparing featherfall and Fjord’s “yes thank you Veth”. The “marine layer” argument lol - sounded both supportive and like a diss.

10. Continuing to hope for Caleb to polymorph into anything really, or using polymorph on any party member (polymorph! Caleb interactions my beloved, this is just going to be a permanent feature on my wish list now).

Intelligence 2 SHEEPLEB MY BELOVED BWAHAHAHAHAH I love this so much. It’s not exactly polymorph, but he is a sheep guys, that counts.

11. Mention of Davexian/Charlie at some point in time (bonus: Veth does it).

Lmao Beau mentioned Davexian right away, and Veth gave a reaction right away. I did not expect a mention so soon but here we are.

12. Jester continuing to be the braincell holder of the team and keeps everybody on task (go queen I love you).

YEAH go get that natural 20 Jester! Keep track of what floor it is! She also urges them to keep moving.

13. Essek and Caleb have more of their deep wizard conversations and interactions OR be impressed by each other at some point (Bonus: another party member mentions/addresses whatever they’ve got going on).

YES wow the temporal dock scene. Also Jester thanks for the mention lol. “It’s complicated” sounds about right. 

14. Cad attempting to speak with the dead on the remaining TT members (there are still Otis and Zoran) and learning some useful information.

Well... it’s kind of too late for that.

15. Jester sees Artagan again and we finally find out what Caleb was seeing during that commune and that scry (I need answers please! Don’t try to distract me with everything else going on, I won’t fall for it).

IT WAS TRUE SIGHT? It was true sight and Beau was just not close enough! Sprinkle whispering in Jester’s ear?? Someone’s theory I saw here was true good for you! Arty has been sprinkle all along that’s why sprinkle is alive.

16. More discussion about dunamancy in Aeor and the Luxon (I’d love to know how Essek is feeling about their discovery and get his thoughts on it).

Well... time travel magic circles are certainly dunamancy. Essek is as excited as you would expect him to be - very.

17. A successful divine intervention from either cleric! (Bonus: that allows them to stop the TT)

Nope, but it may happen next week? Maybe?

18. Heroes’ feast and we learn more about the food/drink preferences or other fun facts from everybody (Bonus: great roll on the HP boon from the feast).

Welp well they ain’t gonna get that one extra hour. 

19. I know they are not gonna see the tower but I still kinda want to see Essek’s room look it’s going to stay on this wish list until it happens.

Yeah I mean I didn’t really expect this to come true any time soon. 

20. Somebody pushes a red button, again (Bonus: it’s someone we don’t expect to push the button).

I mean, Beau went underwater to grab the magical potions, that was kinda button-pushing, but it’s to be expected. She is an expositor! She investigates!

21. Cad continuing to be a MVP in combat as always OR have an amazing non-combat idea/discovery.

Cad got Yasha up as soon as she was down! ALSO that shield of retribution force damage was AWESOME. The invisibility was so smart!

22. You know the drill by now - everyone remains relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien and Cree (they can perish), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always (Bonus: they end up in the Astral Sea and that’s where we finish the episode).

Wow that bonus part is a PERFECT PREDICTION if I do say so myself. I knew that getting into the Astral Sea would be a good cliffhanger. I’m figuring it out guys.

Seriously though please stay safe and alive M9 (and yes Essek is included) that’s all I want.

Nobody has been dead so far, so I’m as happy as I can be!

Score: 16/22 

Other highlights:

Their exploration last episode paid off with the teal keycard! I knew it even distractions can be helpful!

Essek rolled a 30! On stealth! WOO his first great roll probably, Matt sounded so proud of him too. Also that clutch war caster concentration save too, he is finally rolling better (well, slightly).

Caleb’s decisive wall of force and two correct-level dispel magic saved everybody twice, competent as always. I love him so much (also, sheepleb my beloved).

NICE SAVE VETH THANK YOU omg what a queen with the mage hand, truly a 2000 IQ move made by a genius. Jester is safe I’m so happy!!

Wow, what an episode! As always, CR cast gave me such a wonderful night of tension, humour, action and intrigue. I am so happy and thankful that I get to witness this story unfold! I cannot wait for next Thursday, already. I am nervous about their astral sea journey, but I trust in the cast and they will always deliver a great story.

(Plus, maybe they can actually save Yussa now, pretty please?) :D

[usagi-zakura]

This week on Adventurer’s League

Our regular DM was too busy so we had a substitute. So instead of doing Storm King’s Thunder we ran a Halloween-themed one-shot. (Which he plans to run again so if some of my followers are somehow PART of that group.. don’t read this post. It may contain spoilers.)

It was the usual crew, cuz no one really had time to create new characters (Well I techincally had my spare buuuuut I love Dott and I didn’t bring any spellcards for my spare, who’s a gnome wizard)

- My kobold ranger/rogue Dott and her pet wolf/horse Ttod.

- A tabaxi death cleric who may or may not be a cannibal.

- A tabaxi rogue.

- A human paladin.

- A human bard/fighter.

- A thiefling bard who acts more like a rogue.

And a new player on the table: an elven monk.

None of our bards are the stereotypical «flirt with everything»-bard, but that doesn’t mean they’re sensible human/halfdemon beings. None of our party members are... except maybe the paladin... and the monk. Don’t know much about her.

We were supposed to be ghost-catchers, heading towards a small village to investigate some strange happenings when we were attacked by a walking scarecrow and a large flock of ravens. (Whom the Cleric wanted to eat. She is a cat I suppose so its understandable.)

I was late to the session but came in just as they were fighting the scarecrow.

We managed to fight them off even though we were all on a runaway horse carriage (the horse got spooked by the scarecrow). Eventually we managed to calm down the horse as we reached the village only to be attacked by even more birds...

We ran inside some old lady’s house. She seemed very friendly, even offering us all hot cocoa (which the two tabaxi took as a murder attempt because cocoa is poison to cats).

The Thiefling Bard, paragon of virtue as she is, decided to put up a Leomund’s tiny hut on the lady’s front door... for no other reason than to block her inside the house I suppose.

We ended up taking a long rest, some of the party sleeping inside the old lady’s house, others in the tiny hut at her front door, but when we woke up the old lady was gone.

We heard some commotion outside and went to investigate, it turned out to be a witch trial, the old lady was the accused «witch» (In case you were wondering how she got out despite the Tiny Hut at her front door, there was a back door.)

Their reasons for thinking she was a witch was of course «she turned me into a newt!» and also the suspicious orb that showed up outside her house. (Thanks bard).

The Paladin wanted to try to help the old lady, and suggested using Zone of Truth... forgetting of course that Zone of truth is a spell, thus magic, thus the paladin is a witch too! But the thiefling bard managed to convince the villagers that she was actually a demigod, and they seemed to accept this.

The Paladin cast Zone of Truth (careful to keep the party outside it) but the old lady succeeded her saving throw... Then things went a bit crazy.

The Mayor suddenly slumped over dead, having been stabbed in the back, and two hags appeared, the old lady changed to her true form, she was also a hag. Surprise! They were the witches all along.

Then... the villagers all disappeared and we all found ourselves in a grey-scale version of the town were it was raining frogs, and the village was patrolled by a large frog-like monster covered in tentacles.

The bard figured out we were teleported into some kind of weird pocket dimension, but she told the rest of us we were probably all dead because again...she’s just so darn nice. And with a deception roll of 22 Dott belived her and immidiately panicked, since kobolds belive that if they die they get reincarnated within their clan...but she doesn’t have a clan, they all died... so no reincarnation for her...

After exploring the strange village we found a totem, as we moved closer so did the frog monster. Roll for initative.

It caught several of us in its tentacles, and even ended up eating poor Ttod, but we managed to bring it down. Dott immidiately cut the frog open to save her companion but it was too late...

The DM however didn’t want to basically take away half of Dott’s power as a BM ranger, so he became a ghost. So now we had a ghost-dog.

The Thiefling bard decided to shatter the totem, this immidiately got us sent back to the normal village, where the villagers were still panicing over the sudden death of their mayor and the three hags (who had of course escaped by now).

When we offered to help defeat the hags they told us to go pick up some weapons at at the graveyard, and also explore the basement of their previous herbalist who had apparently been killed by one of the witches.

We went to the basement first, and were attacked by a jar of hands, an undead brain in a jar and a mimic table.

Also the bard got a hold of a fireball wand to Dott’s great displeasure (she has a bad history with fire) and basically burned the whole room down.

Somehow we all made it out alive, and moved on to the graveyard where we had to fight a banshee...she knocked out several of us, including Dott, leading to the first time ever that Dott got knocked out and Ttod wasn’t (given that Ttod has only 27 HP at level 6 that was kinda impressive...)

The paladin was able to bring us back up however and we defeated the banshee.

Next up we went to the pumpkin patch, apparently the witches had been seen around the area.

We saw a zombie in the distance, the thiefling bard just threw a fireball at it and killed it instantly... and then we were attacked by a giant pumpkin. Killed that one too.

We then found the witches’ house. The bard threw a fireball at it. Sadly this did not instakill the witches... they just flew out of the burning house on their broomsticks.

During the following fight Ttod ran around on the ground barking because he couldn’t reach them (despite being a ghost dog the DM would not allow him to fly).

The thiefling bard decided to polymorph herself into a giant ape! But was immiditaly polymorphed again into a sheep... Another character (I think it was the other bard or the tabaxi rogue) decided to shoot the sheep so she could turn back into the ape.

The paladin also tried to throw one of the witches off her broom by using Misty Step, she managed to get ON the broom, but failed to get the witch off.

One of the other witches tried to save her sister by dragging her of the broom (she was badly injured from the fight at this point) but this promted an attack of oppurtunity from everyone within melee range (so the paladin, Ttod and the tabaxi rogue) and she was promptly killed.

This our adventure ended, the other witches got away but their coven was basically ruined at this point, so we considered it a win.

TLDR:

Our thiefling bard is an asshole, Dott nearly died from fright but got herself a ghost-dog, we fought a table and the bard got double-polymorphed.

(PS when I call the bard an asshole, I mean the character is an asshole. The player is just fine in my eyes. Most of us just play morally dubious characters. Because its funny. I love this misfit group, its my favorite to play in out of the three campaings I’m currently in.)

[katieskarlette]

30 Days of WoW - Day 2

Day 02 — The biggest jerk you’ve dealt with (in game)

Having played for so many years, I’ve run into plenty of them, unfortunately.

The first time I got really mad at a jerk in game was vanilla, when I was farming Argent Dawn rep.  As a super-squishy mage, you’d better believe I used Polymorph liberally to cut down on the number of mobs beating on my wet cardboard cloth armor.  I had sheeped a cultist while killing a ghoul, and some douchebag rogue who was farming the same area came by, broke the sheep, applied a poison dot so it wasn’t resheepable (shut up, spell check, that is too a word), and then vanished so the cultist attacked me instead.  I died.  It pissed me off a lot.

I’ve also run into people who pull a boss knowing full well that half the group is about to be locked out of the room, people who roll need on things they can’t possibly use, and people who are generally nasty and unpleasant to be around.  

Oh, and there was some idiot a really long time ago who made an alt in our guild named “H i l t e r” and denied that it was a reference to Hitler despite making Nazi jokes in chat.  He got gkicked pretty quickly.  :P

Probably the nastiest person I had to deal with was due to a case of mistaken identity. 

It was during WotLK, and I saw some guy in trade chat whining and complaining about somebody else being a terrible player.  I made some flippant comment (also in trade chat) about how he’d been bitching about this person for like ten minutes and nobody else cared.  

He started berating me in whispers, assuming that I was an alt of the person he had been yelling about.  I assured him multiple times that I wasn’t, that I had no idea who he was, that I was just teasing him because he’d been spamming trade chat with his irrelevant drama, and to chill out.  Even after I politely but firmly told him to stop messaging me, he continued to send vulgar, threatening comments until I put in a ticket reporting him for harassment.  He’s probably still on my ignore list after all these years.  That was more mystifying than anger-inducing, though. 

I’m sure if I really thought about it I could come up with other instances of assholish behavior I’ve run into through the years, but I try not to dwell on the bad stuff.

[thatonetimeatbardcamp-blog]

#8

So I'm running this huge campaign for a group of friends we've been going two nights a week for 6 months now and they're getting close to 2/3 done. The warlock in the party is now evil and has left to switch sides and the rest of the party consists of a druid, bard, paladin, and my npc rogue. Now the rogue saved the druids life and has been with the party for a little while so I try to get a rise out of the group by having him killed by the new big baddies servant who is a death knight. The death knight drops the body of the rogue at the gates and gives the town 24 hours before he returns with am army. That's when the druid decides that he has a spell that takes 24 hours to cast and brings back the rogue in a random body... after he ruined my build up the guy random back as a pseudo Dragon. No big deal I'll move on, next thing I know the death knight is back and the party confronts him. The druid goes first and he's like yeah I'm gonna use polymorph. I rolled with advantage on the saves and got double crit fails! He turns my knight into a sheep and then decided to use a charm spell and crits it at a higher spell level so it last a whole year!! An hour later because of the evil warlock the entire party finds themselves fighting the final boss (ancient red dragon with an extra 800 health). Now the warlock has an evil monster to help him fight and the party has a death knight because druid. Between the party and the monsters they annihilate the final boss a whole month and a half early and end the campaign. I had no clue what to say besides, druids are really strong.

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 137

1. Sheepleb interactions, I don’t care with whom - I need sheepleb my beloved to interact with people for reasons. I know the sheep-shifting may only last for 1 minutes but that’s 10 rounds, surely enough to get some sweet RP in.

YES Cad grab the sheep yes YASHA SCRATCH THAT BELLY sheepleb interactions my beloved. Jester yes make sheepleb move his cute little ears I love y’all. YES SHEEPLEB chew on Yasha’s coat. I never knew I would love a sheep but I do now apparently. Yasha continuing to pet sheepleb and continuing to hold Caleb after he shifts back I love her so much-

2. Caleb or Beau accidentally and telepathically speak to people by thinking too loudly. I can’t wait for their reactions, it will be hilarious.

Well, Caleb did so but more deliberately, and it was more enlightening than hilarious lol.

3. Beau and Caleb discover the third function of their eyes (if dark vision is included in true sight, then they are missing one feature).

Nope, the eyes were used against them again to expose their locations, but haven’t ever been used for mind control yet, so I’m okay with that.

4. Beau and Caleb do not gain any new eyes (pretty please, come on).

I mean they have bigger problems but yeah I got what I wanted!

5. Wait no it’s the astral sea there is no wild magic effect anymore :( but can they at least encounter some unique astral sea creatures, features or something as fun as Aeorian wild magic.

Well... That was a lot of astral sea creatures. More precisely creepy meaty enemies. I think it was fun! In a horrifying way, but fun.

6. Someone mentions Yussa and discuss the probability of saving him (honestly though I don’t know how that’s going to work).

Jester mentioned Yussa pretty soon but I think they are a bit... preoccupied to save anyone at the moment, oops.

7. Getting closer to the city and discovering more of its nature/power/how to stop it.

Wow that city description is cool oh boy I got chills from the empty city suddenly bustling with people. Also that Caleb telepathy experiment is so creepy and terrifying. Is the city alive?! With flesh and teeth?! EuughhHHh. Timorei the terrified rebel/Fear they first met (who seemed to be on Lucien’s side), with Elatis and Luctus opposing him? The Aether crux??! Ira/Wrath who acted in a sort of beast-like way and seemed antagonistic towards Mirumus and Gaudius?? It’s good to know the Somnovem are in fact far from one mind - their opinions seem pretty divided. Aether crux might be the way to go, couldn’t they just destroy all the Somnovem, since they want M9 to kill some of them anyways? Does the entire city function like a living body?

8. Beau and Yasha continue to flirt even in the astral sea and travel side-by-side or physically interact.

Twin initiative 21 yeah let’s go- wait when I said physical interaction I didn’t mean it like that come on!! Stop hitting each other. Also Yasha’s small “I love you but” aww. It was still a little bit flirty somehow lol loved it. ALSO the air kiss was so cute I can’t with these two and their awesome PDA. They also searched the building together!

9. Jester really doting on Artagan/Sprinkle like she never did before.

I mean, she paid him way more attention that’s for sure :D

10. Jester and Fjord have a longer one-on-one conversation or fight like a badass battle couple that they are.

Hey they were both great in combat and explored together! 

11. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (Bonus: we get to see one of those high-damage AOE offensive spells that he couldn’t cast).

AYY LIGHTNING BOLT HYPE! It was sort of an AOE too! Loved his flair as always. It’s not dunamancy technically but I’m counting it because cool purple-black spell.

12. Obligatory wish for Caleb’s polymorph spell (sheepleb was perfect, GIVE ME MORE).

Nope, but the sheepleb we got was awesome. 

13. Tiny Veth interactions with party members (Bonus: with Fjord, or sheepleb).

Nope, the effect probably didn’t last long? Or they just forgot about tiny Veth lol.

14. The party members try to reach Molly through Lucien and Lucien reacting more to things that they say.

They didn’t catch up to Lucien at all, but I have a feeling that they will next episode.

15. They catch up to Lucien and Cree somehow and manage to stop them from returning the city to the world (or at least start the combat).

Combat was started at the end of the episode with Cree! They did catch up to Cree! This is going in the right direction at least.

16. Successful divine intervention from Cad or Jester.

At least Cad and Jester both tried! They weren’t successful, but still.

17. Yasha decides to brute force through a problem and succeeds like the true Barbarian that she is.

I mean, all the combat is brute-force and Yasha did eliminate one of the flesh horror monsters with her cool holy avenger swing!

18. Someone pushes the big red button and derails them.

Nope! They’ve been focused and on task and that’s good! 

19. The wizards and their complicated whatever it is being addressed or developed more.

Not Caleb smirking at Essek using fire bolt then proceeding to use one himself and get a natural 20 I- that was so cool?? What?? Have I mentioned that I love those wizards because I love them. They also float the fastest of course.

20. Heroes’ feast/short rest or a long rest that they well deserve (Bonus: they have great rolls on the HP).

Nope, but I mean they probably need one soon.

21. Obligatory wish for Essek’s room in the tower.

Yeah nah this one is just a permanent feature on the wish list don’t mind it.

22. Oblitagory wish for Cad being a MVP in and out of combat.

Cad turned Caleb back (baaaaaaye sheepleb I love you), healed the group and discovered a lot about how the city worked, including using decompose. 

23. Veth being thirsty for Davexian still, or for whatever other Astral sea creature they are going to meet.

“Want to do some apple picking?” LMAO I’m not gonna count that of course but it was funny.

24. Obligatory wish for everyone to remain relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien and Cree (they can perish, but now I kinda want Lucien to not die since he had some strange reactions), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always.

Score: 12/24

Welp, that took a turn. I did not expect so much Eldritch horror and expected way more humour (which in hindsight was unwise considering how the story is going lol), but honestly I’m not complaining one bit. Matt’s voice acting and everybody’s performance are top notch and the world-building is just *chef’s kiss*, terrifying or not. 

Bonus:

The subtitles said “bleating” when everybody yelled before the opening theme I’m dead lmao also “some a bit sheepish”, courtesy pun of the DM.

“I mean... *bleats*” hahahah I love sheepleb so much

Poor Essek had to start the combat on low HP, sadness. To be fair, our wonderful DM was busy playing many characters and giving beautiful expositions and the players were busy being captivated by all that! 

“When in Aeor” Fjord lmao making his face into a big red eyeball, as one does.

Torrent of Teeth ughhhhhAHH what an attack name

Caleb casting Widogast’s Web of Fire was the hottest thing I’ve seen, no pun intended - it was hotttt.