#fixation is fading fast but i still love em

[kaitcake1289]

MYTHICQUEST S3 REWRITE XD

[deepdonutkid]

Baklava

Authors note

This is supposed to be timeless. So it could take place in a modern setting or around season 4 … or whatever actually but Finn is at least 15 or so.

It’s very fluffy, be prepared for teeth rotting sweetness

Finn x female reader, the reader is female, Muslim and of Arabic heritage

I really love baklava and Turkish food, but I know baklava are not just Turkish food, many other countries have similar dishes or variations of this dish

It’s a little haltering… I’m sorry, I’m not getting used to write in the x reader style, especially in english, but I hope you still like it.

Warning: the reader thinks that somebody followed her

You were wandering around in the same five streets after a fight with you parents. Usually you wouldn’t run off, but this time was different. You just couldn’t stay home anymore. Just some time off was all you needed.

But then it turned dark and suddenly you realized you got lost. You lived just for a few months in Small Heath and until now you have never been out in the dark of these streets.

After a while you just sat down on a bench, starring at the other side of the canal. It was pointless, you thought. You wouldn’t find your way home until the sun was rising again.

Then you heard steps behind you. Your heart was racing. You peeked over your shoulder and whimpered. There was a guy with a flat cap coming closer and closer.

That was not a good sign for you. So you stood up and hurried away the opposite direction. Not actually knowing where you went.

But the steps behind you didn’t disappeared, they became fast. Now, you know that guy was following you. So you began to run. The fear made your head empty. You kept looking behind you.

“Your… your headscarf is coming off!” the guy yelled twice until you noticed what he said.

Again you peeked over your shoulder, but this time you needed to know who that was, because that voice did sound familiar. Your hands tapped the back of your head, just to become aware that this stranger said the truth. Your hijab was coming off. In the midst of this chaos you still kept walking. Looking back, that might not be the smartest idea, as you stumbled over something lying on the ground.

You had fallen straight into the dirt and your knees hurt as well. When the pain finally faded, you tried to get up on your feet. But suddenly there was a helping hand, which pulled you up.

Your eyes followed the hand to the origin and you were quite surprised to recognize a class mate. Now you were standing, but you pulled the hand way up to fixate your hijab, so it would fall down completely.

“I’m sorry”, was the first thing he said. On his lips was an apologetic smile. “I really didn’t mean to scare you.” He scratched his neck and shrugged.

But you needed a little more explanation than that, so you waited until he added: “It was just… I saw you sitting there and I thought you might need help, and then you run away from me… and then your headscarf became lose.”

You were still pretty aware of your panic just moments before. A shy nod was all you could do right now.

Of course, you knew him and Finn Shelby didn’t seem like a bad person, but there were certain rumors about his family. From far you didn’t recognize him. Just now you remembered his name.

“Wait”, he said and fumbled in the pockets of his jacket. “I still could be of some assistance. Sometimes I still have a safety pin in my pockets.”

With a big and heartwarming smile he pulled out just what you needed now.

He handed it you and you mumbled: “Thank you” while putting the pin in the fabric of your hijab.

Now that everything was back in place, you felt relieved. Maybe the world wasn’t as bad as you always thought. The guy didn’t want to chase you and turned out to be helpful.

“You’re y/n, right?” he asked “I saw you in class”

Then you even smiled a little. “Yes, that sounds possible.”

“And your dad owns the bakery down the street.” He noted with a grin on his freckled face. Even in the little light from the street lamp you could see his freckles. You thought they looked cute on him.

But you hated to be reminded of your parents again. You still were angry at them. So you just answered: “Yes, that might be my dad.”

His eyes lit up and with such a glee he proclaimed: “I love these sweet little treats.”

You raised an eyebrow and laughed. “You mean baklava?”

“Yes!” he replied: “They are so delicious. I could eat em all day.”

He was so sweet. It really warmed your heart. After all and even when your dad wasn’t your favorite person right now, you could eat loads of baklava as well. Your laugher filled the street, but then when you managed to calm down, you agreed: “They are so good.”

“And what’s the book about? The one you have been reading the past few weeks now.” He said and again, you were surprised how fast he could change the topic completely.

Your cheeks burned in shameful heat. When you were reading back in class, you thought nobody would notice you, as you were always so quiet. Now, you knew somebody did notice you and he was also pretty cute.

“It’s just a collection of poems, but they are not written in English…. So you wouldn’t understand them.” You answered while rubbing your hands on your fabric. Somehow you became nervous, but you didn’t know why.

Then he asked: “Do you have a favorite one?”

This question made you think. You knew all of the poems in the book, because you had read it over and over again. To pick just one was pretty hard.

“There is one about flowers in summer.” You mumbled after a while of thinking

Finn nodded as he had thought about that possibility too. “Maybe you can tell me how it goes one time. I’m not much of a reader, but I love to listen.”

You bit your lip and stared at the ground. The thought of reading a poem to someone seemed so intimate to you, but reading it to him would be so sweet as well. Just lying under a tree or sitting on a bench in the sunlight and reciting poems always have been your favorite dream. So you just said: “Maybe”

“But what are you doing here anyway? Isn’t it a little late for a lady to walk around town?”

Again he was right. You shouldn’t be here and you knew it so well. “I got lost on the way home”, you explained and signed.

“Then…”, he suggested: “Let’s bring you home.” But he didn’t move an inch.

With blinking eyes you registered, that he didn’t know where you lived. “Just back to the bakery. My family lives over the shop.”

Now he nodded and held out his hand for you to take. It took you a second, but after some time to consider, you decided to lay your hand into his.

The walk back to the bakery was delightful. You finally got warm with him and asked him some questions as well. He was a lot funnier than you thought, but also very kind. After you had seen his brothers, you were scared of the Shelby’s, but Finn seemed to be alright.

When you arrived at your door, you let go of his hand. Somehow you were afraid that your family could see you and then they would just ask all kinds of wrong questions. “That was fun”, you remarked: “We should do this sometime again.”

With a smile he accepted this invitation. “That would be awesome.”

You went to the door to get inside, when he stopped you one last time. “You still have some dirt on your cheek”, he noted and took his sleeve to brush it of very gently. The fabric tickled your nose, so you laughed… and he had to laugh with you, because your laughter was warm and filled with joy.

“Thank you”, you whispered and realized how close the two of you were all the sudden. It was so easy to diminish the distance between you.  You didn’t thought at all, when you kissed him. It just happened. He was so sweet and caring and so was the kiss.

With the glimpse of a second it was over. His head was all red and you face felt so steamy as well. “Then good night…”, you mumbled: “See you soon.”

You rubbed your face a couple of times, to get rid of the heat that radiated from your cheeks. When you entered the house, you were a little scared your parents might notice it, but they didn’t. They were just so relieved you came back. They though you ran off, but then you told them, the truth… minus Finn Shelby and how he helped you. Your parents wouldn’t understand this.

Somedays after this incident you sent a package to him to say thank once again. But you didn’t know… When he opened the little brown package with the baklava inside, that he was so flushed, even his brothers noticed it and of course they had to mock him, for getting his first girlfriend. Finn was so happy, he didn’t listen to his brothers at all. He just knew the present was yours, because you drew a sun and a flower on the card and not your name, but the message was clear. And the baklavas were the best he has ever had.

[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of The Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 8

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyers.

"The secrets you tell me

I'll take to my grave

There's bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway

And if you have nightmares, we'll dance on the bed

I know that you love me, Even when I lose my head Guillotine."

Guillotine by, Jon Bellion.

POV:Fleur's

Timeskip: 2 days later.

I had finally come back, my hand centimeters away from that beautiful warm glow. When I grasped it, it lit my veins, every curve and crack my skin had acquired, binding it together again in some way. It traveled to my shoulders and cheeks, it then hit my eyes. My heart and soul were no longer just cold and dark but guided by that orange soft light. The deep pool of water I came out of no longer tried to tie me back down, pressurizing me to its depths. Part of me was free, or maybe something was missing and I didn't know what that was until he came into my life... my precious Ezra. I had glanced down at myself, fully repaired and healed... and finally fully satisfied. I looked back up as a bright orange light blinded me, I walked toward it, the water began to pool at my feet.

Then...I woke up.

My eyes shot open, I was in the same position I was in when I first blacked out. But, my energy was back, my body was finally healed and I didn't feel the constant need to feed, I was back. I shot up and walked toward the door, eager to see my son, and my husband but they beat me to it first. Jasper was carrying him, he was hiding a smirk behind Ezra's tiny little head.

"Someone wants to meet you again..." He murmured. I smiled and held my hands out to him, he reached out for me immediately.

"Hi, little one..." His chocolate brown eyes were identical to mine and my father's. He grasped my cold finger and just stared at it, he seems inquisitive.

I looked back up at Jasper, the smile hadn't left my face. He guided me into the lounge room where everyone was waiting for us. Rosalie rushed up to me seemingly eager to talk to me.

"Fleur...Ezra is just... ugh he leaves me speechless." She said, happiness was evident in here.

"He leaves me speechless too...I mean, look at that little face." I said looking at him.

"You've been through it short stack... I heard you over the phone. Welcome back." Emmett said, standing next to Rosalie.

"Thanks Em." I said gratefully to him.

"Welcome back, Fleur, Ezra had been waiting to meet you." Esme said smiling.

"So glad to see you back to yourself Fleur." Alice said, she then smiled. Dean was next to her, he gave me a short nod and smile.

"Fleur, your eyes... they finally have become golden," Carlisle noted.

"I mean... you had to be there, blood definitely was still in my body... the operative word is was." I joked. I scanned the room, I didn't see Bree at all, she must've been out with Seth. I felt a small hand try to reach for my face, Ezra let out a huff of breath in frustration since he couldn't reach me. I giggled before looking down at him, he grasped my cheek before I was suddenly in a trance, it looked like I was in someone's chest, I recognized it to be Jaspers. But then, I could tell I wasn't in my body as Jasper glanced at me with fondness.

"Looks like you were right darlin, he's a boy." I heard Jasper say, happiness was laced in his voice.

It now seemed Ezra was looking down on me. I looked rough and completely out of it, but I felt love and fondness as he looked down on me.

"He's beautiful... Ezra is beautiful." I murmured before the vision faded.

"What was that?" I asked looking up at everyone.

"Darlin, what's the reason Alice can see the future, that I can control emotions, that you track people... he's gifted." Jasper explained.

"I have to ask Fleur... where did the name Ezra come from?" Rosalie asked.

"It was always one of my options... it reminded me of Esme's name. She's been a mother to me for 5 years so... I thought it was only right. Ezra Royal Hale... I think that's a good full name... Royal reminds me of you Rose." I said.

"It's beautiful." Jasper said to me.

I looked at Ezra, completed fixated on him now. I noticed that he wasn't exactly the size of a newborn baby.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"Two days." Carlisle replied.

"He grows really fast too then huh?"

"His growth is unprecedented."

I whipped my head around, immediately noticing dad had just come over.

"He knows I gave birth?" I asked, they all nodded quickly.

"Fleur, Fleur?" You up yet?"

"Yeah dad come on up... someone wants to meet you." I said excitingly.

He ran up the stairs meeting up with us, his eyes locked on Ezra who was looking at him with curiosity.

"He looks just like you Petal." Dad said tearfully.

"Dad... meet Ezra." I said handing him off to dad, who looked at him with so much love it made my heart full.

Dad walked over to the couch, his eyes never leaving Ezra's. I sat next to them and Jasper had joined me, we smiled fondly at the pair of them. Dad had didn't say much to him except for "Hi, love you, and he's perfect." We had all sat in peaceful silence when a question popped into my head.

"Where's Bella and Edward?" I said out loud. Everyone had unsure looks on their faces.

"We're not sure... they moved out of the cottage they were living in." Carlisle said.

"I found out Bella is a shield, she's starting to block off my visions of her. I can't find them anywhere." Alice added.

"Has she talked to you at all dad?" I asked, Ezra, let out a big yawn in Dad's arms.

"No, she hasn't talked to me since the honeymoon."

"I hope we find them... I don't trust them much." Jasper muttered.

POV Change: Bella's

"Come on love, we have to get going," Edward said, he was grinning at me.

"Yeah...it's going to be a long trip down to Volterra."

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[cycat4077]

Sheltering An Outcast

Summary: Sonny goes undercover during “Sheltered Outcasts” 17x19 Pairing: Sonny x Reader  Warnings: fluff and smoochies with a sprinkle of angst...and maybe a bit of Sonny in only a towel ;) Words: 2848 (sorry it’s a bit long...)  AO3 here

Part 6 of the Changes verse (but it can be stand-alone too). (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5)

It’s evening and you're flaked out on your couch, an empty ice cream container sitting by the wayside, when your phone rings. "Hey Sonny, what's up?" you answer, spirits brightened by the sound of his voice. "Finally finished that difficult case you were working on?"

As you were discovering, some cases posed ridiculous hours, keeping the two of you apart with only the occasional evening together amidst the chaos. Text, calls and Skype eased the separation, but there was nothing better than physically being by his side.

"Yeah, it’s done," replies Sonny. "Thank goodness too. It was a tough one, doll." You hear a heavy sigh on his end and your heart goes out to him. "You busy?" he then asks hopefully, and when you answer in the negative, he adds, "Wanna spend the night?"

A rush of excitement spreads through you. Of course, you want to spend the night! Running around, you stuff a change of clothes into a bag and hop awkwardly, struggling to slip on your pants.

The commute over leaves time to reminisce about the nights you and Sonny actually do get to share at each other's apartments. They're sweet and intimate times. Nothing sexual, just precious moments together without any rush to go home.

Those times bring out the domestic side of Sonny too, being that he always makes sure you feel welcome. For instance, even though he blatantly detests peanut butter, you opened his cupboard one day to find a jar simply because he knows you like to eat it for breakfast.

You also love being privy to his little habits. After practically every shower, Sonny darts between the bathroom and bedroom having forgotten his clean clothes in the latter. With only a towel around his waist, he’ll tell you jokingly not to look, though you can't help sneak a peek at his bare torso still coated in a sheen of water as he runs by.

It’s all these little things that make you fall even more in love with him and excite you for a future with your Italian detective.

-x-

Arriving at Sonny’s apartment, he opens the door and you throw your arms around his neck. Enthusiastically, you pepper kisses across his nose and cheeks, purposefully leaving his lips for last.

Sonny’s smile stretches from ear to ear. Clearly, the affection you shower him with washes away any remaining stress from his latest case. "What'd I do to deserve all that lovin'?" he teases, taking your coat and closing the door.

"Hmmm…" you pretend to think on it. "Gotta be that Italian charm." Winking, you begin shimmying out of your pants, revealing pajama shorts underneath. You then glance over your shoulder and notice Sonny still standing by the door with mouth slightly agape. His baby blues are quite obviously glued to your behind. "Hey, detective!” you call out, batting your lashes and smirking. “My eyes are up here!" It’s hard not to take at least a little pleasure in flirty bouts like these since they never fail to flush Sonny’s cheeks or jumble his words.

"Y-yeah, I-I know, doll. It's just," he closes the distance towards you. "You're so beautiful." Sonny's voice seems to catch in his throat causing your heart to do the same in your chest. He reaches out to cup your face, a thumb brushing tenderly along your cheek. "I'm gonna miss this..."

Your eyebrows knit together. "What?"

Sonny shuts his eyes firmly as if he's guarding a confession and releases a breath through his nose. "I have ta go undercover for a while."

Your eyes widen. "When?!"

Your boyfriend rests his hands on your shoulders, bracing you. "Tomorrow." You pull yourself out of his grasp. "Doll, please!” he begs. “I just found out myself! There's been a few assaults around this shelter for convicted sex offenders and we need a guy on the inside."

How could he just spring this on you? A cramped space packed with ex-cons struggling to get their lives together hardly seems like the safest assignment. What if they don't believe his cover? What if they find out the truth? He could be bashed over the head and no one would give a damn! How could Sonny, a man without an ounce of evil in his body, ever pass for one of them? Sure, he could come off as a little brash sometimes, but not sex offender-levels of it! And how the hell long would he need to be there for, anyway?!

You don't realize that you asked that last part aloud until Sonny responds. "I'm not sure. It all depends on what we can find out and how fast. I hope not too long but who knows..." To say his demeanor is apologetic is an understatement. He isn't any more enthusiastic about this whole thing than you are.

"Why you?!" you protest, half frustrated, half terrified. "Because...because I need you to be careful, Sonny!" The way you say his name is more a desperate plea than an outburst of anger.

"I will! I promise! But I'm still technically the new guy, so it’s kinda on me to take the U.C. assignments no one else wants." And he's right. There's nothing he can do about it. You just have to cherish falling asleep in his arms tonight and pray he stays safe.

-x-

“What about this?” you ask poking your head out of the closet to hold up a tan and green plaid shirt. It’s definitely seen better days.

Sonny turns around from where he’s packing a duffle bag on the bed. “Yeah, that could work,” he agrees. “But where’d ya find it?”

“It was in this box back here labelled ‘Dom’,” you state, parting the dress shirts and suits hanging above your head for a second look.

“That’s dad’s stuff.” Sonny crosses the room and helps you tug the box free from the back corner. “Ma insisted I bring them along when I moved ‘because ya neva know when ya might need ‘em’,” he mocks, attempting his best impersonation of his mother. “I guess she was right.”

“Mothers usually are,” you quip before pulling out a faded pair of thick, denim jeans. “Will these fit?”

Sonny takes the pants to examine their size. “’Should,” he confirms. “They’re from the eighties or somethin’. Dad’s appetite for Ma’s cookin’ sure has made him pack on the pounds over the years…” he chuckles, stretching the waistline back and forth.

“Hey, now! Since I started eating your cooking my jeans fit tighter too!” you say jokingly as you pat your tummy in defence of the Carisi patriarch.

“Jean size doesn’t matter, doll, as long as the heart’s happy ‘n the stomach’s full.” Sonny’s blue eyes lock onto yours, delivering a sincere smile. “And my heart is the happiest it’s ever been.”

Your cheeks flush and you avert your gaze like a bashful teenager. You may not have supermodel proportions, but your heart flutters knowing that Sonny loves you all the same.

The old clothes are the perfect match for Sonny’s alias. Later, as the morning sun trickles through the New York City streets, ‘Dominick Smith’ joins you in the living room clad in an old grey hoodie and his father’s faded jeans. Things are a bit baggy but they’ll do. The two of you spend the next little while rehearsing ‘Smitty’s’ backstory, unnerved that Sonny has to be convincing as someone with such a disgusting past.

“Oh, I almost forgot the ring,” Sonny declares as he jogs to the case-info envelope on the table.

“Huh?” you question as your line of sight follows his movements.

He shakes out a gold wedding band and rejoins you. “Dominick Smith has a missus, rememba? And apparently he wants to better himself so he can go back home to her.”

“Oh, yeah,” you say foolishly, eyes glued to his finger while he delicately slips on the ring. You know it’s stupid, but for a moment your hopes were high and your heart pounded at the inside of your chest. You can’t help but wish the ring was real; that it would symbolize that he is yours forever.

Sonny’s eyes dart between yours and where they’re fixated on his hand. “You okay?” he asks quietly which brings you back to reality.

“Y-yeah,” you manage, forcing a smile.

He then reaches into his pocket and produces a key. “I hope you don’t mind me askin’, but since I dunno how long I’ll be gone for, would ya mind checkin’ in on my place every now and again? Y’know, just ta make sure that no one’s broken in or whateva.”

“Of course, babe,” you reply, accepting the key. But your clouded mind gets the better of you and your eyes widen when you realize your words.

“Babe?” he questions, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I-uh…” You’ve never called him anything other than ‘Sonny’ since the two of you started dating and you’re just not sure if he’s comfortable with anything different.

However, before you have a chance to articulate an excuse, your Italian detective leans his forehead against yours and sneaks in a swift kiss. “I could get used ta you callin’ me that,” he grins. And you can’t help but giggle. This sweet man keeps giving you more reasons to love him.

With spirits lifted, you stand back and place a hand on your hip before drawing a finger up to your lips to study his appearance.

“What?” Sonny questions, scanning himself over self-consciously.

“Something’s not quite right…” You take a couple steps forward and tangle your fingers in his hair. It’s soft and uncharacteristically floppy without any gel. You continue to muss it up, carding through it and enjoying the texture.

“You done?” he asks, pursing his lips, unamused.

“Almost,” you utter as you poke your tongue out of the corner of your mouth. “There!” You step back to admire your handiwork.

Sonny leans over to glance in the wall mirror. A horrified expression overtakes his features. “What did ya do?!” he exclaims.

You throw your head back and laugh. “I made you look the part a little more, silly!” His dark locks now stick up in multiple directions.

Sonny narrows his eyes and gives you a hard look. However, the slightest of smiles plays at the corner of his mouth and you know he secretly enjoyed it.

Then Sonny’s watch lights up, giving off a beep which catches both your attentions. You know what it means and so does he. It’s time.

Tears begin to rim your eyes. “Please be careful,” you speak in a shaky voice. You wish you could protect him and keep him safe throughout this whole ordeal.

“I will be,” he reassures. “This will all be over soon.” Sonny steps towards you and gathers you in his arms. The two of you lock into an embrace and you feel a squeeze that’s filled with desperation. It’s then that you understand just how nervous Sonny actually is about all this. You hug him a little tighter, both clinging to one another like a life source.

“I love you,” he says lingering his touch along your arms.

“I love you, too.” You lean up and kiss him before burying your face in his chest for one last embrace.

-x-

“On my way home now to shower and change before I have to head back. So, I have a few minutes if you're free." Is what his text reads.

You don't think you've ever made it to Sonny's apartment in such record time. After five days of no contact and being consumed by a worry that made you feel like throw up 24/7, his return lifts a giant weight off your shoulders.

You eagerly knock on the door and a disheveled looking man in the same old grey hoodie and faded blue jeans opens it. His hair is greasy and he looks a little pale, though you suppose nearly a week of cruddy food and shoddy sleep will do that to a person. None of that matters, however, because a large smile of relief spreads across your face from knowing he’s safe and naturally, your first instinct is to jump into his arms.

But this time Sonny stops you. "Don't, doll. I stink,” he scrunches his nose in disgust.

A laugh bubbles free from your chest. "Okay, babe!"

"Lemme go shower 'n brush my teeth, then ya can kiss me," winks Sonny as he welcomes you into his apartment. It seems this undercover gig hasn't completely broken his spirit.

"Hurry up then, stinky!" you chide, hopping onto his couch impatiently.

Sonny runs off in the direction of the bathroom and in no time, you hear the whoosh from the faucet and spray of the shower.

A few minutes later, the water shuts off and a familiar darn it! resonates from within. You smile to yourself knowing exactly the cause and perch over the sofa arm to watch the show.

As predicted, the door opens and a billow of steam releases into the hall. The patter of wet feet follow as Sonny comes scurrying out, darting into the bedroom for clothes. You're about to unleash a cheeky catcall when you notice a large purplish splotch resting above the white towel tied around Sonny's waist. You immediately jump up to intercept him before he can duck back into the bathroom. "What the hell is that?" you demand, tone no longer light and flirty.

"What?" he questions, perplexed.

"That!" you point to his discoloured side.

He contorts to glance in the direction of your finger. "Oh."

You continue to stare him down when he fails to provide an explanation.

"It's nothing, doll," he lies, clutching his clothes to his chest. But your disapproving eyes forces him to confess. "Okay...I got jumped. It wasn't by the guys in the shelter though! It was outside 'n they were targetin' everyone they thought could be a suspect in the most recent assault."

They?! You're suddenly overwhelmed by his close encounter. "Oh my God, Sonny! Are you all right?!" He could have come out of this a whole lot worse.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It'll heal. Actually, it was one of the guys from the shelter who came to my rescue. Who knew..." Sonny's voice trails off as his mind drifts.

But all you care about is Sonny. Focusing on the bruise, you hesitantly reach out and give it a light touch. His skin is warm and damp, yet turns to goosebumps under your fingertips.

Sonny gazes down at you silently and you shift your eyes to meet his. It's only been five days but it feels like a lifetime since you've seen his handsome face. The gentle curve of his lips. The blueness of his eyes. Suddenly he feels so close. Nothing but a towel separates you. Your heart rate picks up as every inch of you aches for the man you love.

"I gotta go get ready.” The tension snaps with Sonny’s soft grin and breathy voice.

"I know," you say reluctantly. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, doll." His left hand finds the back of your neck, cradling your head as he leans down with closed eyes to place a kiss to your lips. Maybe it's the steam from the shower, but it's the type of kiss that makes your insides melt. Then Sonny parts and slips back into the bathroom.

Lightheaded, you make your way back to the couch and sit down. Twenty minutes later the door opens again and the Sonny Carisi you're most familiar with steps out. A three-piece suit and crisp tie. Slicked back hair and smooth cheeks. Though he looks perfect to you, Sonny is still fretting over his hair, combing it back at the temples to work in the last of the gel.

"How do I look?" he inquires, holding his arms out to the sides.

"Handsome as ever!" you give a cheerful smile.

Sonny grins. "Sorry I have ta run, but I need ta get back to the precinct. We've got a major lead in the case."

"All good," you wave dismissively. "I'm just glad you're all right and that I got a chance to see you."

Sonny echoes your sentiments while scurrying around to gather his things. You get up once he starts heading for the door. "I dunno when I'm gonna be back t’night," he frowns. "I'd love ya to stick around but don't wanna keep ya waitin'."

"No worries. Besides, you're gonna need a good night's sleep after almost a week in that place." You smile up at Sonny lovingly and take the apartment key out of your pocket. "Here."

"Nuh-no! That's your copy now, doll." He folds your fingers towards your palm, enclosing the key within.

"Really?" You're ready to burst with joy.

"Really," he confirms with a kiss.

"Well in that case," you smile against his lips, "maybe I'll sneak back in here tonight and we can indulge in some mediocre takeout and bad tv."

"Ya read my mind, doll,” he beams. “Ya read my mind."

Notes: Hope you enjoyed this one! It was originally just going to be angsty but I tried to liven it up a bit with some flirty stuff.

Also, here’s a bit of a preview of what’s next. Let’s just say that there’s trouble in paradise... (Full version up now!)

"Doesn't matter. I want to be with you -" "No." Sonny cuts you off firmly. It's the first time he's raised his voice to you in any way. It shakes you to your core, leaving a horribly sour feeling in the pit of your stomach. You try to dismiss it because you know he's tired and scared but the tears still fall when Sonny hangs up the phone.

[chloca-cola]

Resonance Chap 3 Color My World

Chapter 3 of my The Last Of Us fic. Travel back to ten years ago, Joel and Mickey get closer and Gina is noticing this and isn't happy.

TW: None, a little bit of angst.

Word count: 2,665

~

~10 Years Ago~

Tommy and Joel were beginning to overstay their welcome as far as Mickey was concerned at first, but Gina had seemed to have taken a liking to the Texas born brothers quickly. They kept putting ideas in Gina's head about over throwing the camp here, and Mickey kept changing the subject.

She couldn't deny having the two men around was helpful, she was loath to admit it though. They helped fix up different things around their small house, that Gina nor Mickey were good at repairing. She learned Joel used to work as a carpenter in construction and even wanted to start his own business before everything went to shit.

She also was loath to admit that the more she spoke with Joel, the more she began to warm up to him. Before hell broke loose, if she had known him, she feels they would have been friends, or at the very least drinking buddies.

"So, what did you do before all this?" Joel inquired, Mickey chuckled, handing Joel another nail, holding the bucket against her chest, and she smiled up at him.

"I was a singer." She admitted, shrugging. "Nothin' big time, just local bars and shit." Joel lowered his hammer, looking down at her from his spot on the ladder.

"Seriously? You know I wanted to be a singer too." Mickey laughed, not at him, just at how they shared something in common, it genuinely surprised her. 

"I did not know that. Why didn't ya?" His face became stern again, his mind going to his past once more, and he shook his head.

"Things just...changed, and I couldn't." Mickey's smile faded, wondering what happened but didn't want to pry, after all, she wasn't sharing all of her secrets either. The "bars" she had been singing at weren't regular bars, she had played in several gentlemans clubs because the money was good. She fucking hated having to sing there, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to pay the bills that just kept mounting. She had to lie about her age and everything, luckily the clubs were very shady and didn't ask too many questions. As long as the girls were attractive enough and could perform, they didn't care. 

"I wanted to go to Nashville, make it a career, but things changed for me too." She confessed, shrugging her shoulders again. "My dad got sick, and I had to work at...unsavory places." Joel's eyes were fixated on Mickey's face as she spoke to him, and he climbed down a few rungs to be closer to her. 

"What happened to your dad?" Her eyes welled with tears, as she her gaze left his to look up at an eagle gliding along the high winds above them.

"Cancer. He didn't make it. About 4 years before the infection hit." Joel hung his head, moving the hammer to his other hand so he could place his free one on her shoulder. He nodded to her when she looked back to him.

"My girlfriend got pregnant in highschool. We ended up getting married and it didn't end well. I took care of our daughter, that's why I took up that carpenter job." 

Gina watched from the window at the two of them conversing between themselves as she sipped on some mint tea, Tommy joining her soon after seeing how rapted in contemplation she was.

"What's going on?" He asked, following her gaze to his brother and Mickey, and he made a surprised noise. "Holy shit they look close, huh?" Gina looked over at Tommy, her eyes holding a feeling akin to jealousy, and it confused Tommy but he shrugged it off.

"Yeah, real bosom buddies." It was the first time Tommy heard Gina sound so negative, and he clapped her on the shoulder, nearly making her spill her tea.

"Hey, I wouldn't worry about it too much, girly, she's still your cousin, no matter what, right?" Gina eyeballed him again and Tommy sighed, shrugging his shoulders in a defeated manner. "I would tell him to leave her alone, but that would just make him talk to her more. He's stubborn like that. Besides, if they fall in love, y'all can come along with us." Gina frowned heavily at him, before turning and leaving him by the window. "What'd I say?" He asked, holding his arms out at his sides, confused, before he shook his head. "Women." 

Tommy looked out the window again, watching how Joel was interacting with Mickey and he smiled to himself. He hadn't seen Joel look at any woman like that since his ex, and his older brother was dense enough that he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it.

"I'm sorry about your daughter." Mickey stated, softly, as Joel came all the way down from the ladder, and he nodded quickly.

"Sorry about your dad." Joel offered and Mickey shrugged, setting the bucket of nails down on the porch before leaning onto the railing on her forearms. 

"Sometimes...when I really think about it, I think he was lucky." She admitted, blushing at her confession, because it sounded weird even to her, and she motioned out across the encampment. "To not have to deal with this. Sometimes bein' alive is exhaustin'." Joel leaned on the railing beside her, bumping his shoulder against hers, looking out over the small shacks and houses that dotted the area.

"I get that, but...if I had the chance to have Sarah back...I would in a heartbeat." Mickey turned her head to study his profile as he then looked up at the same eagle and a pregnant silence fell between them as they both thought about their past before Joel finally broke the silence with a small scoff. "Look at us, for the first time we aren't going for the jugular." Mickey softly laughed at him, bumping against him, before pushing off the railing to go inside.

"Don't get used to it, Tex, maybe I'm just gettin' ya to let your guard down." She joked, shooting him a finger gun, before waving for him to come inside. "We will finish this later. Let's get some food."

"You've never told me where you're from originally." Joel pointed out as he followed Mickey into the kitchen where Gina and Tommy were already eating.

"We are from North Carolina." Gina replied tersely, causing both Mickey and Joel to exchange a look of concern before Mickey sat next to Gina.

"Boone to be exact. Not too far from here." Mickey continued as she got herself a helping of baked beans and some of the fresh vegetables they had grown from their garden out back. Gina stabbed her food rather aggressively causing Mickey to look at her again, her face asking her what was wrong.

"You guys given any more thought to attacking this town?" She asked out of the blue, causing Tommy to choke on his water. He coughed and sputtered, wiping the liquid from his face, shooting a look at Joel.

"Well, no, because Mickey said that she wanted to stay here because you felt safe." Joel stated and Gina rolled her eyes, and Mickey finally cleared her throat. 

"Yeah, I did tell him that. Because it's true." Gina scoffed and waved her hand dismissively to Mickey, before forking more veggies on her plate.

"I'm done with this town. I want to try." She placed her fork on the table, before stabbing her finger on the table repeatedly to drive her point home. "This place isn't living. They're controlling and I'm tired of it."

"We can just leave-" Mickey began but Gina held up her hand to silence her girlfriend, which caused Mickey's own anger to rise.

"I'm not leaving these people to suffer, we have to do something!" She slammed her palms onto the table, causing the plates to rattle, and Mickey just glared at her.

"I'm not gonna risk your life for these people either. We can't risk killin' ourselves for 'em, we can't save everyone Gina!" Mickey snapped back, slamming her own hands on the table with more force than Gina had, and Joel and Tommy just leaned back to watch. Joel was beginning to feel a little tinge of guilt because inadvertently he caused this fight between them. He rubbed a hand over his face as the two girls continued to argue.

"That's all you ever do, only think about us, never anyone else. That is...until he came along." Everyone at the table froze, Gina's green eyes glaring fire at Joel, and Mickey just looked at Gina in confusion.

"You're the one who wanted 'em to stay here!" Gina turned her green fire to Mickey.

"Yeah, and ya were fuckin' threatenin' him a month ago, and now look at the two of ya." Gina's normally tame accent grew thicker as her anger rose, and stood from the table so fast her chair toppled over and Mickey stood up not long after her, pointing up at her slightly taller girlfriend.

"Isn't that what ya wanted? Me to be miss popularity?" Gina growled turning on her heel quickly, storming off to their shared bedroom. Mickey pinched the bridge of her nose, before gathering all her blond dreads to her left shoulder, and she looked at the men. "Sorry, finish your dinner. I'm gonna go calm her the fuck down." 

"Gina, what the actual fuck?" Mickey whisper shouted at her as she slammed the door behind her.

"I see the way ya look at him, Mickey!" She shouted, gesturing in Joel's general direction and Mickey was honestly confused.

"What are you talkin' about?" Gina gave her a warning look, balling her fists tightly, she would never strike Mickey, but the thought of punching Joel out has crossed her mind a few times.

"Like just out there on the porch! The way ya were smilin' at him! It's how ya used to look at me…it's just like how ya used to look at me." Gina's breath hitched in her throat and her sentence faded, and she hugged arms around herself, her anger quickly fleeting to heart break. Mickey's eyebrows were raised in surprise, until she barked out an incredulous laugh, slapping her own knee as she doubled over in her mirth.

"Me? Like Tex? Please Gina, be serious." Mickey reached out and placed her hands on Gina's shoulders, giving her a small shake to get her to look into Mickey's eyes. "Are ya really that worried about him? I'm just tryin' to like 'em both like ya do." She shrugged, pulling Gina in for a tight hug, which Gina was about to return when a knock on the door startled them both.

Mickey released Gina and turned to the bedroom door, opening it to reveal Tommy, who had a pretty concerned look on his face.

"Guy named Ansen is at the door." Mickey's pale face grew slightly more pale as she looked over her shoulder at Gina. Ansen was the leader of the cult, why was he here suddenly? Mickey brushed passed Tommy to find Joel at the door talking to Ansen, whose gruff face void of any emotion until his steely blue eyes landed on Mickey, and a dark smile crossed his face.

"Ah, Mickey, there you are. Just the girl I wanted to talk to." She tilted her head, smiling just as darkly at him, before motioning to the couch for him to sit. "Thank you." He nodded to her, moving deeper inside the room to the couch.

"Would ya like some mint tea?" Mickey offered, his tight smile was unnerving as he shook his head.

"No thank you, I have business to discuss with you and your...friends." His eyes slid to Tommy and Joel as Mickey motioned for everyone to sit. "You have been here with us for...a month now, is it?" Tommy nodded, trying to sit comfortably under this man's scrutinizing gaze. "Been using some of our resources as well." Mickey knew where this was going, and she sat forward on the edge of her armchair, waving her hand.

"We have been havin' 'em eat outta our own personal garden, Ansen." She corrected him, but all he did was smile, his eyes hard as he watched her as she spoke to him.

"They have used our water. Attended our feast two weeks ago. They have been interacting well with the others in town. I think the time has come to ask if they are planning on staying here permanently." Mickey cut her eyes up at Joel who had absentmindedly sat on the left armrest of her chair, her hazel green eyes trying to convey to him to tell Ansen they were leaving soon.

"We were all just discussing this before you showed up, actually." Gina interjected herself into the conversation, her voice and accent calmer now and Mickey glared at her girlfriend. She had no idea what Gina was trying to do here. "They want to join." Joel's hand gripped onto Mickey's shoulder to keep her seated, shaking his head subtlety at her when she glared up at him, now was not the time to lose their cool.

"Splendid!" Ansen cheered, slapping his palms down on his thighs, standing to his feet. "That's wonderful to hear. I'll get the preparations together and four days from now, we will set up the ceremony for them to join." Gina smiled at him, taking his arm as she lead him back to the front door, discussing how much fun this was going to be. 

Mickey cursed under her breath, frustration mounting as Joel gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, Tommy was watching them closely. Whatever Gina has planned, Tommy had a bad feeling about it all.

Gina came back in the house after walking Ansen away, smiling to herself, shutting the door behind her.

"We have four days to prep for this." She stated vaguely and Mickey made an incredulous noise. "This is gonna be easy. All we have to do is cut the head off the snake and everything dies." Mickey shook her head, standing from her seat, Joel's hand getting knocked away, and she glared at Gina.

"This is a bad idea. We should just leave. We could sneak-" Gina cut her off with a simple look, storming back into their room, slamming the door closed.

Mickey sighed heavily, slowly sitting back down in the chair, leaning back, rubbing her hand over her face.

"If you want, we could still sneak away." Joel suggested and she looked up at him as if he just spoke in another language to her.

"I'm not leavin' Gina here. After all this, if we turn up missin', they may decapitate her in front of the camp, usin' her as an example." She explained, punching the armrest on her right side. "She's basically fucked us all, and now ya guys either have to join this fuckin' cult, or we go through with your plan to overthrow them." She stood up from her chair, and walked outside to breath in the crisp early evening air.

"Joel...what have you been talking to Mickey about exactly?" Tommy asked, once they were in the spare bedroom and Joel hummed in question. "I'm assuming when you said 'we' you meant you and me, right?" Joel turned to Tommy then, looking at him strangely before shrugging.

"Obviously." Tommy blinked, chewing on the inside of his cheek, still feeling off put by this whole situation. Had Joel not noticed that Mickey had subconsciously included herself in this sneaking off scenario? Something is telling Tommy they shouldn't leave, because they would kill both of the girls, but something was also telling him they shouldn't fight these people either. What if Gina's thought of cutting off the head of the snake was wrong? There's so many people here that if they retaliated, they would all die. Those thoughts kept Tommy awake that entire night.

[roughntoughdirtkissers]

【〖 💎 ⭐ 〗】 ⦊ ❝ I❜ll admit it❟  nothing beats chilling by the Master Emerald❟ ❞ the long-locked echidna mused. He lent back❟ his head resting on said giant gem. His lids were gently shut❟ and his smile was small yet showed satisfaction.

   He heard feet stepping against his stone steps❟ but he didn❜t move at all.

   ❝ Man❟ yer still protectin❜ that huge❟ green rock. ❞

   His smile faded into a frown upon hearing those words. He lift his lid to see a long-haired mole❟ her arms crossed and her fot tapping against his altar. She has a crease in her brow and air puffed into her cheek.

   ❝ Then I guess you didn❜t get the memo❟ ❞ he replied with attitude, closing his eye.

   She waved her hand doiwn and said❟ ❝ Pfft! I GOT the memo! I just don❜t need t❜ read! ❞ 

   ❝ You should. ❞

   ❝ ... Man❟ you are crabby❟ aren❜t cha? ❞

   No reply.

   ❝ ... Ha! Whatever then. ❞

   Maybe now she❜ll get the memo.

   ❝ The stars are real pretty tonight. ❞

   He could tell the voice was right next to him nudging his left ear. He opened his eye to see her sitting close to him❟ with her arms curving under her knees.

   ❝ I love stars so much! I wish I could be one someday! ❞ Her head tilted to the side❟ and she wore a bright smile upon her face.

   ❝ ... I guess so. ❞ He took one long gaze at the stars twinkling in the sky.

   ❝ You like ❛em too❟ right? ❞

   ❝ ... They❜re pretty. ❞

   ❝ I KNOW! They❜re like❟ sky lights or somethin❜! I can stare at ❛em for DECADES! ... And it❜s the only light I can stare at❟ actually❟ ❞ she muttered the last part.

   He let out a light snort❟ saying❟ ❝ You and me❟ both. ❞

   Her head whipped to look at him❟ spotting gray sunglasses.

   ❝ Oh❟ ye-a-a-a-a-a-h! You got sunglasses❟ too. ❞ 

   She looked back at the sky❟ letting her eyes fixate on the twinkling stars. She let her thoughts flow through her mind❟ something she was used to.

   I wonder... what he thinks...

   ❝ Ey❟ Knuckaroo. ❞

   ❝ What? ❞

   ❝ What gives ya hope? ❞

   The question made him turn his head and gaze at her. Her eyes stayed fixated on the stars. The question also made him think❟ as his eyes rolled down. The answer came to him quick and clearly after a moment.

   ❝ I do❟ ❞ he answered with certainty.

   ❝ ... Huh? ❞ She stared at him with a look of being lost in confusion.

   ❝ I do. I know I can do anything❟ so I will. It all starts and ends with me. ❞

   ❝ ... I... never thought o❜ it that way. I... can do it if I put my mind to it❟ but... ❞ 

   ❝ Then do it. ❞

   ❝ ... I guess you would say somethin❜ like that❟ ❞ she said with a small chuckle.

   ❝ I always saw it differently. Every night I❜d look at the stars❟ and I can❜t get over how bright they are. Then❟ I think❟ ❛ Hey! I can be bright❟ too! ❜ I get my hope from that. ❞

   She looked back at the stars one more time and said❟ ❝ The stars always gave me hope. ❞

   ... She❜s...

   He took a moment to look at her.

   Not as bad as I thought she would be.

   ❝ That❜s somethin❜❟ though. To get all yer hope from the inside of ya. I gotta remember that. ❞

   ❝ I❜m sorry. ❞

   She quickly whipped her head back to him in the blankest confusion.

   ❝ I❜m sorry... if I ever hurt your feelings❟ ❞ he said❟ crossing his arms and locking his eyes on the ground.

   A long pause took place between the two. Suddenly❟ he heard stifled laughter❟ and a loud laugh coming after. He leanedup to look at her in bewilderment.

   ❝ What❜re you APOLOGIZING for?! You never hurt me one bit! You so funny! ❞

   He furrowed his brows deep and scoffed❟ unable to keep the red from surfacing to his cheeks. He turned his head back and said❟ ❝ If that❜s the case❟ I take my apology back! ❞

   ❝ I❜m sor-! I❜m sorry! Knuckles❟ I❜m sorry! ❞ She could barely talk through her laughter.

   ❝ Save it! I don❜t wanna hear it! ❞

   ❝ Okay! Okay! ❞ She wheezed in-between her words. The laughter began to subside into long sighs.

   ❝ You never have t❜ apologize t❜ me❟ anyway. I understand❟ ❞ she said calmly.

   ❝ Good. I❜d rather keep it that way. ❞

   To his disliking❟ he felt her arms quickly squeeze his waist and her freckled cheek nudge his.

   ❝ I always knew you were really sweet❟ though! I❜m so happy yer my bestest friend! ❞

   ❝ D- don❜t just hug me out of nowhere! Let go of me! ❞ He found himself trying to compete against her strength as he tried to move her arms. From that alone❟ he felt her squeezed tighter.

   ❝ CHRISTINA! ❞

   ❝ You know you need one! Yer always by yerself! ❞

   ❝ Because I like it that way! Now let go of me! ❞

   She moved her arms❟ showing a satisfied smile.

   ❝ Thank you! ❞

   ❝ You know ya needed it. ❞

   ❝ No❟ I didn❜t. ❞

   ❝ Yes❟ ya did. ❞

   ❝ I didn❜t. ❞

   ❝ Okay... but ya did. ❞

   ❝ Will you shut up already?! ❞

   She laughed and replied❟ ❝ Okay❟ okay! Yer so much fun t❜ mess with❟ though! ❞

   He only snorted angrily❟ making her laugh more. Once more❟ her eyes locked onto the stars.

   I wish I had thougt of that before.

   An hour passed. Her eyes were still locked onto the stars❟ and he was resting back on his emerald. She found her eyelids had gone heavy❟ and she couldn❜t keep them open for long. With no thought❟ her head fell upon her friend❜s shoulder❟ and she began to snore.

   I know she❜s not asleep!

   One look at her said otherwise❟ making his eyes widen.

   SHE❜S ASLEEP?!

   He felt his heart beat against his chest. It was eating at his pride❟ something he really didn❜t want. Yet❟ upon gazing at her❟ his look softened. He refrained from moving her in fear of disrupting her slumber.

   ... ... ... What do I do?

   Following his instincts❟ he reluctantly and slowly placed his arm behind her hand and his hand on her arm.

   Bestest friend... fine❟ then❟ he thought❟ gently squeezing her closer to him.

   Soon❟ he found himself struggling to keep his eyelids open. Eventually❟ he let his head rest on hers and feel fast asleep.

[snownowworld]

How To Survive Heartbreak (and get over him quickly)

How To Survive Heartbreak (and recover from him quickly) So, he dumped you and you’re still wondering why you didn’t see it coming… Being dumped hurts twice as bad because it also hurts the ego. regardless of if you’re the dumped or the dumpee, you’re reading this because you seek answers to painful, sometimes unanswerable questions. 

The simple trick to getting over someone who you're keen on deeply has yet to be discovered. No self-help book within the world can magically erase that person from your mind. Time is cruel but it means well. In the meantime, there are steps you'll take which will confirm you recover from this person as quickly as possible. Here’s how I did it anyway. 

Step: 1 Self Reflection

 I self-reflected for an extended time. After I got dumped by the person I assumed I might marry, I wanted to be bitter and angry and blame him for everything wrong in my life, but instead, I self-evaluated. What had I done to drive him away? What part had I played in our fading love and dwindling desire for every other? What had made him close off completely after several years of happiness? 

Step 2: No contact

 I followed the 30-day no-contact rule. That is, I attempted to not talk, text or call him for 30 days. This does several things. It causes you to appear as if you’re strong. Like you’re moving on and you bought this! This also works for supplying you with both spaces you so desperately need (even if it seems you don’t). this is often important. You both need space otherwise you wouldn’t be during this sticky mess. At the top of these 30 days, are you continue to crazy with him? If you're, then gradually begin contact.

 Step 3: No sex

 I detoxed my sex life. That is, I abstained from any sexual relationships for a minimum of 15 months. For me, it wasn’t a conscious decision initially. I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with him or anyone else until I had sorted these crappy feelings. It helped that I had no desire to pursue any kind of relationship. I just wanted to be okay with myself before getting intimate and possibly confusing feelings with another person. 

Step 4: Exercise

 I started doing stretches and mini workouts. initially by fitting in 5 to 10-minute intervals. I wasn’t actively trying to reduce the maximum amount as just trying to urge those happy endorphins going. After weeks and months of sadness and borderline depression, I needed to ascertain the brilliant side — and that I knew understanding is that the fastest shortcut to right away feeling good. Note: if you’re out of shape, initially your muscles will hate you, on the other hand, they’ll love you! It then became a habit and now I’ll do daily high knees, step-up step-ups, and leg exercises while I do things like brushing my teeth and wash dishes. These daily moves inadvertently built me a pleasant round booty! 

Step 5: specialize in Short Term Goals

 My short-term goal was to be healthy which mentality gave me a “revenge body.” Daily exercises toned my body and that I slowly dropped excess weight, and it felt good so I kept it up. I started reading about fasting and its detoxing effects on both the mind and body. By eating less frequently, my body began to get over the mental fatigue I had acquired. The results: I used to be less hungry and my pores got smaller. Win-win. 

Step 6: Practice Positivity

I changed my attitude. During my initiative of self-reflection, I noticed our relationship had soured so badly because, among many things, my negative attitude was ruining all the fun. I didn’t like how despondent I had become even as very much like he didn’t, so I targeting being more positive until it stuck. 

Step 7: Kill ‘Em confidently

I gained confidence in myself and who I'm. After months of being single and practicing abstinence, I'm happier than I’ve been in years. I not long for him or fixated on what went wrong. I simply went with the flow when it came to us. Now I knew needless to say that I could truly be happy — when weeks before I felt like I didn’t want to travel on without him. I had survived my worse heartbreak. Conclusion After 15 months of separation, we’ve been constantly hanging out again. Because we both took the high road once we broke up, it had been easier for us to reconnect without tension and resentment. We’ve been ‘dating,’ that's slowly going to know one another again, and it almost seems like we’re falling crazy everywhere again. But now I’m equipped with such a lot more knowledge and confidence than before. So, I got this – regardless of what the result is.

[frogsagainandagain]

favorite lyric from every fob song

i’m so sorry this is so long please skip this is mainly for me to be able to reference

*songs with incredible lyrics throughout that it was extra hard to choose one or two

honorable mention:  and maybe next time/i’ll remember not to tell you something stupid like I’ll never leave your side

calm before the storm:  you said, between your smiles and regrets: “don’t say it’s over.”

switchblades and infidelity:  walking out on the show is walking out on you/and walking out on you’s still the best thing that I ever did.

pretty in punk:  well I’ve seen your boyfriend/and i don’t think he treats you right/but that’s none of my business is it?

growing up*:  i’ve dried my eyes, now it’s “rushmore”/i’m deep with futures like chicago/no, glenview never meant a thing to me/she never meant a thing to me

the world’s not waiting (for five tired boys in a broken down van):  we’re all “hasbeens” and “never-were’s”

short, fast and loud: good god i wish i was tall

moving pictures:  where can I go when I want you around/but I can’t stand to be around you

parker lewis can’t lose (but i’m gonna give it my best shot): in the meantime just talking with my shoes/converse with my converse

tell that mick:  stop burning bridges and drive off of them

dead on arrival:  i know I’m not your favorite record/but the songs you grow to like never stick at first

grand theft autumn: you need him/i could be him

saturday:  and i read about the afterlife/but I never really lived

homesick at space camp:  landing on a runway in chicago and I’m grounding all my dreams/of ever really seeing california

sending postcards:  when you go i will forget everything about you

chicago is so two years ago*:  she took me down and said:/“boys like you are overrated. so save your breath."          bonus:  with every breath i wish your body will be broken again

the pros and cons of breathing:  i want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

grenade jumper:  living like life’s going out of style.

reinventing the wheel:  i can’t wake up to these reminders of who i am:/a failure at everything… 18 going on extinct.

patron saint*:  and when it all goes to hell/and when it all goes.

my heart is the worst kind of weapon:  we are salt - you are the wound

it’s not a side effect:  and think of all the places/where you’ve been lost/and then found…out/in between my sheets/in between the rights and the wrongs

our lawyer:  we’re only good cause you can have almost famous friends

gin joints:  i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (now i only waste it dreaming of you)

dance, dance: joe trohman is lame

sugar:  isn’t it messed up how i’m just dying to be him?

nobody puts baby in the corner: you look so good in blue

dark alley: joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends”

atavan halen:  i’ll be stuck fixated on one star/when the world is crashing down

sophomore slump*:  cause i swear i’d burn this city down to show you the light

champagne:  they say, “you want a war? you’ve got a war.”/but who are you fighting for?

i slept with:  douse yourself in cheap perfume it’s/so fitting, so fitting of the way you are

sixteen candles*:  she said, she said, she said, “why don’t you just drop dead?"       bonus:  so say what are you waiting for?/kiss her, kiss her

get busy*:  i used to obsess over living,/now I only obsess over you

XO:  to the "love”, i left my conscience pressed/between the pages of the bible in the drawer

snitches and walkers:  show me a starry-eyed kid/i will break his jaw

the music or the misery*:  it’s true romance is dead, i shot it in the chest then in the head.      bonus:   and if you wanna go down in history then i’m your prince      bonus bonus:  i went to sleep a poet, and i woke up a fraud

thriller:  i can take your problems away with a nod and a wave/of my hand, ‘cause that’s just the kind of boy that i am

take over, breaks over:  don’t pretend you ever forgot about me.

arms race:  i wrote the gospel on giving up/(you look pretty sinking)

me & you:  the best way/to make it through/with hearts and wrists intact/is to realize/two out of three ain’t bad/ain’t bad

hum hallelujah*:  i thought I loved you/it was just how you looked in the light.

golden:  and i knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

thnks fr th mmrs:  get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes

don’t you know:  i could learn to pity fools as I’m the worst of all/and i can’t stop feeling sorry for myself

the after life of the party:  put love on hold,/young hollywood is on the other line

tunnel of love:  got postcards from my former selves saying: “how’ve you been?”

doldrums:  you’re wrong/are we all wrong?

fame > infamy:  “there’s too much green to feel blue”

you’re crashing*:  the headline reads “the man hangs”, but the jury doesn't                bonus:  baby boy can’t lift his headache head

ringing in my ears: new york eyes, chicago thighs

ginasfs:  threw caution to the wind,/but i’ve got a lousy arm

hard to say:  but don’t get the wrong idea/we’re gonna shoot you

lullabye:  when you wake up the world will come around

disloyal order*:  what a match, i’m half doomed and you’re semi-sweet        bonus: boycott love/ detox just to retox 

i don’t care:  say my name and his in the same breath/i dare you to say they taste the same

winona:  bop bop ba dop

america’s suitehearts: why won’t the world revolve around me?

headfirst slide:  i don’t just want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness

(shipped) gold standard:  plant palm trees on lake michigan before it gets cold/i gotta feel the wind chill again before i get old

(coffee’s for closers)*: i will never believe in anything again/though change will come

donnie: i’m the one/who charmed the one/who gave up on you

27:  you’re a bottled star/the planets align/you’re just like mars/you shine in the sky

tiffany blews: dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city

wams*:  what makes you so special?/i’m gonna leave you/i’m gonna teach you/how we’re all alone

nosebleed:  goes to the desert the same war his dad rehearsed/came back with flags on coffins and said,/”we won, oh we won.“

west coast smoker:  got my degree in the gutter,/my heart broken in the dorms of the ivy league

pavlove:  i want to make you as lonely as me/so you can get, get addicted to this

the phoenix:  wearing our vintage misery/no, i think it looked a little better on me

light em up:  a constellation of tears on your lashes/burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

alone together:  but i don’t think i’m coming home and i said/i’ll check in tomorrow if i don’t wake up dead

where did the party go:  my old aches become new again/my old friends become exes again

just one yesterday:  letting people down is my thing, baby/find yourself a new gig/this town ain’t big enough for two of us

the mighty fall:  two’s a whole lot lonelier than one

miss missing you*:  baby, you were my picket fence           bonus:  i will sing to you every day/if it will take away the pain

death valley:  undress to impress/you can wear the crown but you’re no princess 

young volcanoes:  come on make it easy/say i never mattered  (basic ik)

rat a tat*:  i’m the lonelier version of you/i just don’t know where it went wrong \

srar:  how’d it get to be only me?/like i’m the last damn kid still kicking/that still believes 

the king is dead:  the may never think and wonder why, dear christ/every time i see you i just want to paint the walls white

art of keeping up disappearances: erase the conclusion/but never meant to clear up/any of the confusion

hot to the touch:  if it’s never been broken/can’t believe in it/now you’re just a problem/for someone else to fix

love, sex, death:  but out of every pretty pretty miscalculation/you have got to be my all-time favorite

eternal summer:  i can’t do this again/i need more oxygen

demigods:  what if we were demigods?/they’d take to our knees/raging at the half of our sins

american made:  when i was younger i couldn’t wait for the days to pass/now i know they’ll never last/and i just want my childhood back

caffeine cold:  don’t breathe life into a monster then/complain when he destroys it all again

irresistible:  too many war wounds and not enough wars/too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores/too many sharks, not enough blood in the waves

ab/ap:  i think i. i fell in love again/maybe i just took too much cough medicine

centuries: heavy metal broke my heart       bonus: we are the poisoned youth

the kids aren’t alright*:  and i still feel that rush in my veins./it twists my head just a bit too thin./all those people in those old photographs I’ve seen are dead.

uma thurman: the end of the fucking song

jet pack blues*:  did you ever love her? do you know?/or did you never want to be alone?

novocaine:  if you knew, knew what the bluebirds sang at you,/you would never sing along

4th of july:  you are my favorite "what if”/you are my best “I’ll never know”

favorite record:  and i confessed, confessed to you/riding shotgun underneath the purple skies

immortals:  i try to picture me without you but i can’t

hotel in nyc:  a birth and a death on the same day/and honey I only appeared so i can fade away/i wanna throw my hands in the air and scream/and i could just die laughing on your spiral of shame

young and menace?? champion?? i’m sorry who?? what?? huh???

hold me tight or don’t:  i got too high again/when i realized i can’t not be with you/or be just your friend/i love you to death but i just can’t/i just can’t pretend/we were lovers first/confidants but never friends/were we ever friends?

the last of the real ones:  'cause you’re the last of a dying breed/write our names in the wet concrete

7-9 legendary:  i want to choke (u)/and get sick off of you/like secondhand smoke

alpha dog:  i want to put the midwest home again

austin we have a problem:  i gave you pretentious./i gave you indifference, but you only wanted undressed and defenseless.           bonus: hey! everyone’s an underdog.

catch me if you can:  oh dear lord,/please let me into heaven, for just an afternoon.

from now on we are enemies:  a composer but never composed/singing the symphonies of the overdosed

guilty as charged:  i got greater expectations than oliver twist

hand of god*:  it’s not gossip if it’s the truth/i’m sick of always writing songs for you to slit your wrists to

lake effect kid*:  i’ve got the skyline in my veins/forget your night times/summer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel/and joke us, joke us/till lakeshore drive comes back into focus

mskwyditd (demo)*:  we sold our souls in dark hotel rooms/we slip tongues and lie like “i will see you soon”

star 67:  maybe we could talk this over/but i swear to god/and i’ll have this phone to my head.

we don’t take hits, we write them:  and my life is holding our heads to this gun/you and your new boy think you can come in and keep me off, but you’re wrong

yule shoot your eye out:  and all i want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me/before you bury yourself alive

[aymbusiness]

How To Survive Heartbreak (and get over him quickly)

So, he dumped you and you’re still wondering why you didn’t see it coming… Being dumped hurts twice as bad because it also hurts the ego. regardless of if you’re the dumped or the dumpee, you’re reading this because you seek answers to painful, sometimes unanswerable questions.

The simple trick to getting over someone who you're keen on deeply has yet to be discovered. No self-help book within the world can magically erase that person from your mind. Time is cruel but it means well. In the meantime, there are steps you'll take which will confirm you recover from this person as quickly as possible. Here’s how I did it anyway.

Step: 1 Self Reflection I self-reflected for an extended time. After I got dumped by the person i assumed i might marry, I wanted to be bitter and angry and blame him for everything wrong in my life, but instead, I self-evaluated. What had I done to drive him away? What part had I played in our fading love and dwindling desire for every other? What had made him close off completely after several years of happiness?

Step 2: No contact I followed the 30-day no-contact rule. That is, I attempted to not talk, text or call him for 30 days. This does several things. It causes you to appear as if you’re strong. Like you’re moving on and you bought this! This also works for supplying you with both spaces you so desperately need (even if it seems you don’t). this is often important. You both need space otherwise you wouldn’t be during this sticky mess. At the top of these 30 days, are you continue to crazy with him? If you're, then gradually begin contact.

Step 3: No sex I detoxed my sex life. That is, I abstained from any sexual relationships for a minimum of 15 months. For me, it wasn’t a conscious decision initially. I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with him or anyone else until I had sorted these crappy feelings. It helped that I had no desire to pursue any kind of relationship. I just wanted to be okay with myself before getting intimate and possibly confusing feelings with another person.

Step 4: Exercise I started doing stretches and mini workouts. initially by fitting in 5 to 10-minute intervals. I wasn’t actively trying to reduce the maximum amount as just trying to urge those happy endorphins going. After weeks and months of sadness and borderline depression, I needed to ascertain the brilliant side — and that I knew understanding is that the fastest shortcut to right away feeling good. Note: if you’re out of shape, initially your muscles will hate you, on the other hand, they’ll love you! It then became a habit and now I’ll do daily high knees, step-ups, and leg exercises while I do things like brushing my teeth and wash dishes. These daily moves inadvertently built me a pleasant round booty!

Step 5: specialize in Short Term Goals My short-term goal was to be healthy which mentality gave me a “revenge body.” Daily exercises toned my body and that I slowly dropped excess weight, and it felt good so I kept it up. I started reading about fasting and its detoxing effects on both the mind and body. By eating less frequently, my body began to get over the mental fatigue I had acquired. The results: I used to be less hungry and my pores got smaller. Win-win.

Step 6: Practice Positivity I changed my attitude. During my initiative of self-reflection, I noticed our relationship had soured so badly because, among many things, my negative attitude was ruining all the fun. I didn’t like how despondent I had become even as very much like he didn’t, so I targeting being more positive until it stuck.

Step 7: Kill ‘Em confidently I gained confidence in myself and who I'm. After months of being single and practicing abstinence, I'm happier than I’ve been in years. I not long for him or fixated what went wrong. I simply went with the flow when it came to us. Now I knew needless to say that I could truly be happy — when weeks before I felt like I didn’t want to travel on without him. I had survived my worse heartbreak.

Conclusion After 15 months of separation, we’ve been constantly hanging out again. Because we both took the high road once we broke up, it had been easier for us to reconnect without tension and resentment. We’ve been ‘dating,’ that's slowly going to know one another again, and it almost seems like we’re falling crazy everywhere again. But now I’m equipped with such a lot more knowledge and confidence than before. So, I got this – regardless of what the result is.

[ecomyounes]

How To Survive Heartbreak (and recover from him quickly)

So, he dumped you and you’re still wondering why you didn’t see it coming… Being dumped hurts twice as bad because it also hurts the ego. regardless of if you’re the dumped or the dumpee, you’re reading this because you seek answers to painful, sometimes unanswerable questions. the straightforward trick to getting over someone who you're keen on deeply has yet to be discovered. No self-help book within the world can magically erase that person from your mind. Time is cruel but it means well. In the meantime, there are steps you'll take which will confirm you recover from this person as quickly as possible. Here’s how I did it anyway. 

Step: 1 Self Reflection I self-reflected for an extended time. After I got dumped by the person I assumed I might marry, I wanted to be bitter and angry and blame him for everything wrong in my life, but instead, I self-evaluated. What had I done to drive him away? What spring had I played in our fading love and dwindling desire for every other? What had made him close off completely after several years of happiness? Step 2: No contact I followed the 30-day no-contact rule. That is, I attempted to not talk, text or call him for 30 days. This does several things. It causes you to appear as if you’re strong. Like you’re moving on and you bought this! This also works for supplying you with both spaces you so desperately need (even if it seems you don’t). this is often important. You both need space otherwise you wouldn’t be during this sticky mess. At the top of these 30 days, are you continue to crazy with him? If you're, then gradually begin contact. Step 3: No sex I detoxed my sex life. That is, I abstained from any sexual relationships for a minimum of 15 months. For me, it wasn’t a conscious decision initially. I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with him or anyone else until I had sorted these crappy feelings. It helped that I had no desire to pursue any kind of relationship. I just wanted to be okay with myself before getting intimate and possibly confusing feelings with another person.

Step 4: Exercise I started doing stretches and mini workouts. initially by fitting in 5 to 10-minute intervals. I wasn’t actively trying to reduce the maximum amount as just trying to urge those happy endorphins going. After weeks and months of sadness and borderline depression, I needed to ascertain the brilliant side — and that I knew understanding is that the fastest shortcut to right away feeling good. Note: if you’re out of shape, initially your muscles will hate you, on the other hand, they’ll love you! It then became a habit and now I’ll do daily high knees, step-ups, and leg exercises while I do things like brushing my teeth and wash dishes. These daily moves inadvertently built me a pleasant round booty! Step 5: specialize in Short Term Goals My short-term goal was to be healthy which mentality gave me a “revenge body.” Daily exercises toned my body and that I slowly dropped excess weight, and it felt good so I kept it up. I started reading about fasting and its detoxing effects on both the mind and body. By eating less frequently, my body began to get over the mental fatigue I had acquired. The results: I used to be less hungry and my pores got smaller. Win-win. Step 6: Practice Positivity I changed my attitude. During my initiative of self-reflection, I noticed our relationship had soured so badly because, among many things, my negative attitude was ruining all the fun. I didn’t like how despondent I had become even as very much like he didn’t, so I targeting being more positive until it stuck. Step 7: Kill ‘Em confidently I gained confidence in myself and who I'm. After months of being single and practicing abstinence, I'm happier than I’ve been in years. I not long for him or fixated on what went wrong. I simply went with the flow when it came to us. Now I knew needless to say that I could truly be happy — when weeks before I felt like I didn’t want to travel on without him. I had survived my worse heartbreak. Conclusion After 15 months of separation, we’ve been constantly hanging out again. Because we both took the high road once we broke up, it had been easier for us to reconnect without tension and resentment. We’ve been ‘dating,’ that's slowly going to know one another again, and it almost seems like we’re falling crazy everywhere again. But now I’m equipped with such a lot more knowledge and confidence than before. So, I got this – regardless of what the result is.

[superhelalaboyslove-blog]

How To Survive Heartbreak (and get over him quickly)

So, he dumped you and you’re still wondering why you didn’t see it coming… Being dumped hurts twice as bad because it also hurts the ego. regardless of if you’re the dumped or the dumpee, you’re reading this because you seek answers to painful, sometimes unanswerable questions. The simple trick to getting over someone who you're keen on deeply has yet to be discovered. No self-help book within the world can magically erase that person from your mind. Time is cruel but it means well. In the meantime, there are steps you'll take which will confirm you recover from this person as quickly as possible. 

Here’s how I did it anyway. Step: 1 Self Reflection I self-reflected for an extended time. After I got dumped by the person I assumed I might marry, I wanted to be bitter and angry and blame him for everything wrong in my life, but instead, I self-evaluated. What had I done to drive him away? What part had I played in our fading love and dwindling desire for every other? What had made him close off completely after several years of happiness? Step 2: No contact I followed the 30-day no-contact rule. That is, I attempted to not talk, text or call him for 30 days. This does several things. It causes you to appear as if you’re strong. Like you’re moving on and you bought this! This also works for supplying you with both spaces you so desperately need (even if it seems you don’t). this is often important. You both need space otherwise you wouldn’t be during this sticky mess. At the top of these 30 days, are you continue to crazy with him? If you're, then gradually begin contact. Step 3: No sex I detoxed my sex life. That is, I abstained from any sexual relationships for a minimum of 15 months. For me, it wasn’t a conscious decision initially. I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with him or anyone else until I had sorted these crappy feelings. It helped that I had no desire to pursue any kind of relationship. I just wanted to be okay with myself before getting intimate and possibly confusing feelings with another person. Step 4: Exercise I started doing stretches and mini workouts. initially by fitting in 5 to 10-minute intervals. I wasn’t actively trying to reduce the maximum amount as just trying to urge those happy endorphins going. After weeks and months of sadness and borderline depression, I needed to ascertain the brilliant side — and that I knew understanding is that the fastest shortcut to right away feeling good. Note: if you’re out of shape, initially your muscles will hate you, on the other hand, they’ll love you! It then became a habit and now I’ll do daily high knees, step-ups, and leg exercises while I do things like brushing my teeth and wash dishes. These daily moves inadvertently built me a pleasant round booty! Step 5: specialise in Short Term Goals My short-term goal was to be healthy which mentality gave me a “revenge body.” Daily exercises toned my body and that I slowly dropped excess weight, and it felt good so I kept it up. I started reading about fasting and its detoxing effects on both the mind and body. By eating less frequently, my body began to get over the mental fatigue I had acquired. The results: I used to be less hungry and my pores got smaller. Win-win. Step 6: Practice Positivity I changed my attitude. During my initiative of self-reflection, I noticed our relationship had soured so badly because, among many things, my negative attitude was ruining all the fun. I didn’t like how despondent I had become even as very much like he didn’t, so I targeting being more positive until it stuck. Step 7: Kill ‘Em confidently I gained confidence in myself and who I'm. After months of being single and practicing abstinence, I'm happier than I’ve been in years. I not long for him or fixated on what went wrong. I simply went with the flow when it came to us. Now I knew needless to say that I could truly be happy — when weeks before I felt like I didn’t want to travel on without him. I had survived my worse heartbreak. Conclusion After 15 months of separation, we’ve been constantly hanging out again. Because we both took the high road once we broke up, it had been easier for us to reconnect without tension and resentment. We’ve been ‘dating,’ that's slowly going to know one another again, and it almost seems like we’re falling crazy everywhere again. But now I’m equipped with such a lot more knowledge and confidence than before. So, I got this – regardless of what the result is.

[cutegirlmayra]

I really like prompt 16 but I also like prompt 17....ahhhhh! Think you can do something sonamy with either of them? XDDD

For future references, I need just one plz :) but I’ll do my best to combined the two, just for you precious anon~

Prompt:

“You’re awfully sentimental when you want to be.”

“I simply just stated that I remember something like this from before!”

“Right…”

“Honest!”

“Were you thinking of running off again?”

Amy, leaning on Sonic’s shoulder, nearer to his chest, moved her head up to give him a slight warning glare, seeming annoyed.

“Amy…” he looked away, sweat dropping. Why wasn’t she trusting him on this?

“Emmm… fine. I’ll believe you.” Amy leaned her head back down and readjusted herself to where her back faced him. “I do admit though… that time I convinced you to have a date every time you came back, you always said you’d remembered how stubborn I could be.”

He closed his eyes, seeming nervous at that statement as he lightly, and awkwardly, chuckled at her remembering that.

He then looked up at the sky too.

“You were a little different back then too.”

She pouted, turning to him again, “Do you like the younger me or something?”

He flinched, and waved his hands out. “T-that’s not what I’m saying at all!”

“So… are you annoyed then?” She leaned away, “About my request?” turning to face him again, he looked more uncomfortable than ever.

“… That’s not… it’s more like I can’t help but feel like some of the past is fading too fast.” he looked down, away almost as if it was hard for him to explain himself. “It’s… complicated.”

“…But…”

She felt a little hurt he couldn’t fully explain himself, but moved closer and lightly rubbed her head under the crook of his neck. “Hehe! We’re not as distant as before! That’s something good to come from it, right?”

He looked away.

“After all~” she closed her eyes, as Sonic tried to keep his stare fixated on the night sky, letting her do as she pleased.

She yawned, “I love spending more time with you… you used to be so finicky anytime I brought up hanging out together.”

“That’s because your definition of ‘hanging out’ wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” Sonic sweat dropped again.

“…Oh?”

Amy sneakily leaned up, and then had a thought.

“..You know what would really speed up time?”

He looked down at her, curious and confused on that last line, but it certainly pulled his attention.

“What?” he put his hands behind his head, trying to relax, but he didn’t like the sneaky look in her eyes…

“Don’t tell me…”

“I’ve decided what I want to do the next date!”

He sighed, relieved it wasn’t-

“Next date, you have to kiss me!”

He fidgeted.

“And you promised you’d go on at least one date with me every time you returned, so no taksey-backsies!” she poked his chest, before laughing.

There was a silent conflict going on that she couldn’t see inside himself, as his face turned an odd pale.

The next few months, Tails and Knuckles claimed to have not seen Sonic.

She didn’t worry too much though, after all, he promised~

But when a few more months went by… she was just desperate to see him again.

Thinking about going to look for him like she used too, she suddenly heard on the news that he had gone missing, and panicked.

Eggman was going ballistic with not having an enemy, but Shadow quickly fulfilled the role when Eggman tried to attack a local city, and G.U.N stepped in, seeing as Sonic was gone.

Amy searched and searched after that, before believing it was her fault, and starting to beat herself up about it…

However…

“What’s this!?” The news man pointed the camera man with a jostle of his hand to the direction of blue.

A blue streak tore across the screen, helping Shadow out with destroying robots and battleships in the air.

Amy’s hands quickly squished together and clammed tight.

Her eyes were fixed on the screen, before seeing his blue frame jammed with a beam of a powerful battleship canon.

“Sooniiccc!!”

Rushing to where the air battleships were, she felt the sting of tears, before seeing Super Shadow carrying his limp body down.

“No..!” she breathed out her words, stepping back a moment from her run before charging to him.

She fell at Shadow’s feet.

“Please! Let me take care of him!”

Shadow, not having time to argue, nodded and handed him to her.

Helping to drag him away, Amy pulled him up against a tree, ripping some of her dress to dap it in a stream near them, and putting the wet cloth to his face.

He slowly blinked his eyes.

“Uhh… Amy?”

“Shh.. don’t strain yourself right now.”

“Uhhh…erk! Ouch… I guess I really wasn’t careful this time, huh?” He tried to get up, but felt his wounds and allowed himself to lay back down.

“Sonic… I’m so sorry. This is my fault.” Amy turned her head away.

“H-huh?” Sonic looked confused, blinking his one good eye towards her.

“I… I lead you away… My selfish, … silly request did all of this! I’m so sorry, Sonic! I never meant to push you away…”

She covered her face, and Sonic suddenly looked surprised.

“The request? Amy, I wasn’t gone trying to stay away from you.”

Amy lightly looked up from her hands, “You… you weren’t trying to avoid me?”

He smiled, tilting his head slightly, “Not at all.”

She smiled, lowering her hands before his came up, and he gently moved one to her cheek.

“…I had… some more business, you could say, to deal with.” he was whisked on another adventure, as she guessed by his words. It must have been a long one too.

“R-…Really? So you’re not mad?” she teared up.

“Mad?” Sonic laughed. “Nervous maybe. But you were right. We’re not as distant as before.” he strained himself to lean up.

“Sonic!”

“Hold on.. I need to try this again.” he smiled, holding a hand up to stop her from helping him.

She withdrew her hands to her lap, as he got up.

“Amy… It’s true that we’ve gotten closer. But I feel that maybe I’ve been pushing you away still… so…”

He brought her head back down to his chest, making her blink and blush in surprise.

“I’m sorry. I made you wait so long.”

She held back her tears, still threatening to advance down her cheek…

Her lips trembled, realizing he wasn’t gone so long because of her brought a big wave of relief.

“Honestly… I think it’s about time to forget the past.”

“H-huh?”

He leaned back as she moved up, and slowly, he began to tilt his head.

At first, it was light and remained for a small second.

Sonic pulled away and suddenly furrowed his brow.

“Huh.”

“H-h-hu-huh, what!?” Amy pulled back, blushing and unable to read if that was too much for him or what. She covered her face, “I’m so sorry!”

“…For what?” he grinned. “I was just surprised is all!”

“…Sur…prised?” Amy was deeply confused now.

He laughed, before feeling pain from it and stopping himself.

“Ah! You’re not well..” Amy picked the cloth up again, going for his face.

“It hurts…” he admitted, before pointing to his shoulder. “Right here…”

She looked down, before smiling and dipping to it.

She lightly kissed his shoulder.

His eyes widened slightly, before she pulled away and he pointed to his forehead.

“…Here?”

She grinned, and did so once more.

“…” he leaned forward, “Do you have anywhere it hurts?”

She laughed, blushing and squeeing before shaking her head. “My heart was hurt, but you’re back now and everything’s fine.” she nodded.

“Hmm.. a heart.” he put a hand up to his chin. “Em-hmm. I think I know what to do.” he winked.

Her quills bristled as he came in again, this time the kisses held and lasted, and they took their time figuring things out.

When they parted a moment to breathe, Amy held a hand to his cheek. “Umm… You won’t be going again… anytime soon right?”

He smiled, thinking her a little silly to say that but seeing the logic behind it.

“Well… if you keep this up…” he turned to put his face more into her hand. “I may not want to for a while.” he teased.

She beamed, and the two put their foreheads together for a moment, before an explosion pulled them apart and they looked up, seeing the noise coming from the sky.

“Shadow must have done it.” Amy concluded.

“Heh.” Sonic grinned. “I can’t be gone too long though… Or I’m gonna lose my title!”

(repeat stuff, repeat stuff~ -singing that parody song, lol-)

[itleaning]

How To Survive Heartbreak (and get over him quickly)

So, he dumped you and you’re still wondering why you didn’t see it coming… Being dumped hurts twice as bad because it also hurts the ego. regardless of if you’re the dumped or the dumpee, you’re reading this because you seek answers to painful, sometimes unanswerable questions.

The simple trick to getting over someone who you're keen on deeply has yet to be discovered. No self-help book within the world can magically erase that person from your mind. Time is cruel but it means well. In the meantime, there are steps you'll take which will confirm you recover from this person as quickly as possible. Here’s how I did it anyway.

Step: 1 Self Reflection

I self-reflected for an extended time. After I got dumped by the person I assumed I might marry, I wanted to be bitter and angry and blame him for everything wrong in my life, but instead I self-evaluated. What had I done to drive him away? What part had I played in our fading love and dwindling desire for every other? What had made him close off completely after several years of happiness?

Step 2: No contact

I followed the 30-day no-contact rule. That is, I attempted to not talk, text or call him for 30 days. This does several things. It causes you to appear as if you’re strong. Like you’re moving on and you bought this! This also works for supplying you with both spaces you so desperately need (even if it seems you don’t). this is often important. You both need space otherwise you wouldn’t be during this sticky mess. At the top of these 30 days, are you continue to crazy with him? If you're, then gradually begin contact.

Step 3: No sex

I detoxed my sex life. That is, I abstained from any sexual relationships for a minimum of 15 months. For me, it wasn’t a conscious decision initially. I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with him or anyone else until I had sorted these crappy feelings. It helped that I had no desire to pursue any kind of relationship. I just wanted to be okay with myself before getting intimate and possibly confusing feelings with another person.

Step 4: Exercise

I started doing stretches and mini workouts. initially by fitting in 5 to 10-minute intervals. I wasn’t actively trying to reduce the maximum amount as just trying to urge those happy endorphins going. After weeks and months of sadness and borderline depression, I needed to ascertain the brilliant side — and that I knew understanding is that the fastest shortcut to right away feeling good. Note: if you’re out of shape, initially your muscles will hate you, on the other hand they’ll love you! It then became a habit and now I’ll do daily high knees, step-ups, and leg exercises while I do things like brushing my teeth and wash dishes. These daily moves inadvertently built me a pleasant round booty!

Step 5: specialize in Short Term Goals

My short-term goal was to be healthy which mentality gave me a “revenge body.” Daily exercises toned my body and that I slowly dropped excess weight, and it felt good so I kept it up. I started reading about fasting and its detoxing effects on both the mind and body. By eating less frequently, my body began to get over the mental fatigue I had acquired. The results: I used to be less hungry and my pores got smaller. Win-win.

Step 6: Practice Positivity

I changed my attitude. During my initiative of self-reflection, I noticed our relationship had soured so badly because among many things, my negative attitude was ruining all the fun. I didn’t like how despondent I had become even as very much like he didn’t, so I targeting being more positive until it stuck.

Step 7: Kill ‘Em confidently

I gained confidence in myself and who I'm. After months of being single and practicing abstinence, I'm happier than I’ve been in years. I not long for him or fixated on what went wrong. I simply went with the flow when it came to us. Now I knew needless to say that I could truly be happy — when weeks before I felt like I didn’t want to travel on without him. I had survived my worse heartbreak.

Conclusion

After 15 months of separation, we’ve been constantly hanging out again. Because we both took the high road once we broke up, it had been easier for us to reconnect without tension and resentment. We’ve been ‘dating,’ that's slowly going to know one another again, and it almost seems like we’re falling crazy everywhere again. But now I’m equipped with such a lot more knowledge and confidence than before. So, I got this – regardless of what the result is.

[scottyunfamous]

#RunningWilde Ch. 39 | Fire & Ice

And it hurts so bad when you know it

What can you do, love?

When I run again chasing

You know it, know it

If it's a game I call, I'll cheat it

Just what can I do, love?

It's a dance we both do and we know it

We know it, we know it

-The Chase

Sohn

*

"We're wasting ammo shooting at this fucking tree," Dougie grunted as he reloaded his clip. "Screw this, I'm gonna go take him out."

Aiden furrowed his brow and stuck his arm out blocking Dougie's determined advance, "I don't think that will be necessary." Long tendrils of ebony tresses danced erratically in the air in the manner of a white flag used for surrender. It was the wig gripped between Ava's fingers.

"I'm coming out. Please don't shoot."

Dougie snapped his fully loaded clip back into place and resumed his battle stance, ignoring the 'stand down soldier' look Aiden flashed him. Where Aiden was blind it was Dougie's job to see what his best friend and leader couldn't or refused to.

"I've got this," he assured him, pushing back with a touch more force.

"I know bruv, but just in case you don't, I've got you, aight?"

Aiden put his hand down and nodded. Ava was harmless but she wasn't by alone anymore and lord knows what Yang had put into her head. All those weeks of progress that they'd made felt like they were dissipating and trickling away like sand between his fingers. He lowered his gun a little "Drop the wig and keep your hands where I can see them."

"Are you going to shoot me?"

"Haven't decided yet," Dougie interjected.

"Dougie..." Aiden warned under his breath.

Dougie smiled his slippery smile and shrugged. He was nothing but honest and extremely unapologetic about it, and when you had the kind of disturbingly accurate, quick fingered temperament as he did, you could afford the luxury.

Ava looked at Max; how on earth was this going to work? He brushed the back of his hand against hers, his skin casting a promise that no matter what, she was going to be okay. It was hard to believe it when the heads of the Diamond Mafia had landed enough bullets in their shield to take down an entire herd of wild animals, which were meant for them, but the certainty that Max exuded made her want to. So she did. She swallowed. "...Aiden?"

"I want to see Yang first."

The faith that Max instilled in her only moments ago shrivelled up in an instant. There was a chance that she could survive Aiden, but not Max. Beyond being his enemy, she knew he wasn't fond of her fondness for her friend. He'd never said it, but he didn't have to. He was an alpha male, possessive and egotistical. That fused with his fixation with her, made Max a threat. "No," she said quickly, her voice coming out panicked. Max's plan was a good one in theory but Aiden was proving to be as unpredictable as she'd anticipated. She was going to have to work off of instinct if she wanted them to have half a chance. "You'll hurt him. It's me you want." She stepped out from behind the bullet-worn tree with her hands in the air feeling the breeze fly past her as Max's startled hands tried to grab her back. Boldly out in the open, her shock of pink hair drew eyes from far and wide. She could feel them on her, taking notice, squinting and studying her features, putting two and two together, their curious voices carried on the wind wondering if it was her, Vince Lockewood's not-so-secret-anymore daughter. This is part of why she'd chosen such a striking shade, so that she would draw attention, so that somebody, anybody would get her the hell outta Dodge. They looked from her to Michaels with his gun pointed in her direction...

...And nobody did a damn thing.

These were her father's men, and nobody came for her. This had to be Chris's doing. There was no other explanation as to why she could be in plain sight in obvious danger and not so much as a step was taken in her direction. Witnessing it only made the pang of unwarranted betrayal that much sharper. Fuck 'em, she didn't need them. All that mattered was her and Max. "I'll go with you, just leave Max alone."

Aiden narrowed his eyes and her and cocked his head to the side in his calculating way, "Didn't I tell you to drop the wig, Ava-Marie?" Now his gun was trained on her. He pulled the clip back.

Ava's eyes widened and her heart shuddered at the sound of war being raged on her. She was certain that having a gun pulled on her would never feel normal or less panic-strickening. She couldn't get how these men and woman of the underworld encountered it so calmly. Either they'd had it happen to them so many times that they were used to it, they had some bizarre unflappable confidence that they would be the survivor of these standoffs...or that the calm was a bold-faced lie. That underneath the mask of their gangster personas, that they were all as terrified as she was. She had to think fast. "I'm sorry!" She threw the wig to the right as if it had caught on fire.

In the few seconds it took for the wig to distract the Mafia leader's attentions, Max sprung from behind the tree.

BANG!

The bullet pierced right through Dougie's kneecap and the silent killer let out a ghastly noise of a delusional immortal, his disillusion blasted to pieces and the acceptance that he too was just a man forced upon him.

Dougie never got shot.

Ava's slippery hands gripped the spare pistol Max had handed her that she'd concealed beneath the wig, and pointed it shakily at her sweet tormenter.

So this is what I was like to hold a gun. Cold. Hard. Heavy -in more ways than one. It felt dangerous, and powerful...and wrong. She wasn't the type of a girl who held guns, let alone pointed them at people with the intent to shoot. She had the power to take another human's life at the twitch of her fingers and it was even scarier than having a gun pointed at her. This kind of power was bathed in black with a 'NO WAY OUT' sign glaring back at her in the midst of the darkness. There was no way to come back from something like that. She imagined that after killing someone that your soul would be permanently disfigured and that it would haunt you and torment you until you met the same permanent fate as your victim.

It would be easier to point it at Dougie. He hated her, he wanted her dead. Against Dougie, the gun was protection, but Aiden...

Against Aiden her feelings about it was like everything else. Conflicted.

The whites of his eyes blazed bright enough to set fire to his enemies, making the black coffee of his irises more deathly. She'd tricked him and now his best friend had a bullet in his leg, growling through bared teeth as he dropped to the ground and the morning dew on the green grass began to drown in red.

Dougie never got shot. Ever.

The scratching, clawing and incessant rattling against Aiden's ribcage halted. His beast drew back then broke into a gluttonous run, hungry for disaster, and hurtled itself toward the surface at the speed of light and sound combined, crashing through his bones and spreading rapidly like a line of cocaine into the bloodstream.

He pointed his gun at Max.

"Don't!" she yelped, the gun slipping a little between her nervous fingers.

Her sweet, desperate voice halted him. It halted him and he hated her for it. She made him weak and her hated her for it because he kept halting and going against is nature for this fucking exquisitely maddening woman. "Or what, Ava-Marie?" he snarled.

He sounded demented. She was aware of the monster and the situation grew all the more terrifying because he was. That was when the adrenaline kicked in. She copied the stance Max had shown her briefly behind the tree and something like fire tingled in her bones. An understanding. A desire. The lust for power that had driven so many before her was giving birth in her veins. "I'll...I'll shoot you."

She was maddening.

Aiden fixed his gaze on her, bared his white teeth and stormed forward.

"AVA!" Max roared, "AVA, SHOOT HIM!" He would have done it himself but although Dougie was badly injured, he wasn't out of the game just yet. His face flickered between his sinister grin and a grimace as he stealthily dragged his wounded body across the grass to reach his weapon. Max wanted to kill him, but getting rid of Michaels's best friend before Ava was safe couldn't possibly bode well for them. The plan was crashing and burning right in front of his eyes and the feeling of faith fading that Ava had felt was now plaguing him. If Max didn't kill Dougie or Aiden now then he would be dead, but if he did, with the way Michaels was coming for her, Ava would be. He wanted to shoot Aiden but he couldn't afford to take his eyes off of his injured opponent. Wounded or not, this was still Dougie Monroe. "SHOOT HIM!"

Aiden was coming hard and fast. Her hand shakily followed the knotted spot between his eyebrows –the kill shot Max instructed her to take when he'd given her the plan. In her panic at losing this chance to get away, she'd said yes, and despite the fire of desire in her bloodstream, agreeing to kill a man, a terrible man, seemed as simple as it was to let him live. As simple as it was to breathe. His death would be the release of the breath she'd been holding; the one that pressed hard against her ribs and turned her face blue since he'd disrupted her reality and painted it black. But it wasn't simple. It was as complex as their relationship had become, with so much good and evil merged together that to make a final decision made her head hurt and her heart ache. She'd be free...but she'd be a murderer, and then she'd be no better than he was. 

She curled her finger tighter around the trigger...

"AVA, DO IT. NOW, AVA!" Dougie was within reach of his weapon. "KILL HIM!"

Kill him? Kill Aiden? Take his life and remember that she did it for the rest of hers.

She turned the gun on herself.

Her had stopped trembling then. The flames of power burned brighter and made her eyes glow. She closed her eyes. She exhaled.

"NO!"

Aiden whacked the pistol out of her hand with such a force that it flew across the graveyard and disappeared into the bushes. The whites of his eyes stood out stark against his black skin, wide with alarm as he yanked her to him. He held her unbearably tightly against his chest, his wild heart thudding against her, gripping her white dress between his bloodstained fingers and burying his nose in her valentine curls. It lasted all but one fleeting moment; the fear of losing her pushing away the escalating violence of his beast...and then he spun with her still clutched to him, to face Max.

He fired.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The blasts of gunfire were accented by Ava's muffled screams and Max's war cries as Aiden emptied his clip into each one of his limbs, starting with his knees.

She struggled against the solid bulk of his arm, biting and clawing at him with all of the fight she had in her, but he was too strong. She couldn't get to Max. He'd come to save her and even her best efforts wouldn't allow her to save him. Howling and crying, she whipped around violently, her swan song the harmony to the fading sounds of Max's screams. The fire that once graced her veins burned out and turned her whole body cold with ice that spread like a virus until it hit her heart. The last candle that had flickered so precariously in the wind finally went out. It felt like dying.

Max became silent. His blood seeped into the grass and roots of the forsaken willow tree as the stone angel looked on.

Aiden grabbed Ava by the shoulders and forced her to look up at him. He looked different; soul stifled and empty again. The tyrant she knew him to be when they'd first met. And she feared him the way she was supposed to. Whatever small changes her presence had inspired within him were erased. He'd gone back to black.

He didn't utter a word. He didn't have to. Everything that needed to be said was emblazoned across his heart-breaking features.

I am Aiden Michaels.

The weight of his true self had never really hit her until then, and it was crushing and exasperating. He was still a god but not one to be revered. He was Hades incarnate and she, ashamedly, was his Persephone. He'd taken everything from her so that she had nothing but him.

She didn't want him.

"I hate you."

He merely blinked at her venom, unaffected. She had every right to hate him but it wouldn't change anything. He'd made a promise and even if it damned them both he was going to keep it. When all he did was motivated by money, respect, power and heartlessness, there was something noble about at least keeping his word, no matter the promise. He gripped her wrist and marched her over to Dougie's side, blocking out her god awful screaming when her eyes finally rested on Max.

"Can you walk?" he asked Dougie over the harrowing sound.

"I don't know yet?" he said, his fingers nipping at his gun until he dragged it back to him.

Aiden stuck out his hand. "Hold onto me. We're leaving." He hoisted Dougie up and slipped his arm under him for support. Dougie gritted his teeth as the pain shot through his nervous sytem, and growled. "Your sister is going to kill me."

Dougie glared over Aiden's shoulder at Ava; "Good."

Her eyes hadn't left Max. He was barely breathing now. Short, sharp, shallow breaths and the lulling flutter of his eyelids were the only indication that he hadn't gone just yet but that he was close. He looked like he was drifting off to sleep, as if peace was coming to gently whisk him away into an eternal night filled with so many trillions of stars that it would be like re-joining the universe rather than leaving hers. She couldn't bear it.

Aiden yanked her forward and she dug her bare heels into the ground. "NO! NO, I'M NOT LEAVING HIM. I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU. MAX!" she cried so hard that the sound made her voice raw and tears ran like rivers down her face, "MAAAXXX, GET UP PLEASE. PLEASEEEE!"

"Stop it," he snarled tightening his grip on her wrist.

"MAX!"

She struggled again but with Dougie relying on him to keep him upright, holding onto her was even harder than before.

"LET ME GO!" She swung at him and her fist connected with the stab wound his mother had given him. Aiden roared and let her go so as not to drop Dougie. She ran to Max, wanting to throw herself across him and shield him from every evil, but as she collapsed onto her knees at his side and surveyed the horrors of Aiden's bullet wounds in very joint his arms and legs, she knew it was too late. "Max, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do... there's so much blood." Her hands waved over him wanting to cradle him but fearing that she would only make it worse. "Please don't die." He turned his head slowly to look at her and twitched his fingers. She clutched them tenderly, "Your body temperature is dropping. We need to get you to a hospital. Do you have your phone?" She began to pat him down frantically

"Ava..." he groaned.

She stopped and grabbed his hand again. "Yes?"

"...Run."

Before she could process his warning, Aiden came up behind her and jerked her from him. He slapped his hand over her mouth, "Quiet!" his voice was less harsh, "We have to go, now. Say goodbye," he nodded at Max, who despite his dwindling life force, managed to glare at him with as much contempt as any man hold.

"I'm not fucking com_"

"Ava-Marie," he hissed impatiently, "More cars are pulling up and they are not your father's men. Someone let them know you're here." He narrowed his eyes at the Syndicate men wondering who had snitched and vowing to kill them as soon as he had the chance. "They have seen you now_"

"I don't care."

"They will kill you."

"I DON'T_"

He covered her mouth again and flared his nostrils, "Well I do. Come quietly or I'll shoot him in the head right in front of you, and you will never get to say goodbye or get that image out of your head."

More tears blurred her vision as she looked back down at Max. "I love you, Max. You're my best friend and the greatest man I've ever known and I'm so sorry that I wasn't strong enough to do what had to be done." She laid her hand on his chest and her voice broke, "I'll never forget you."

"C'mon." Aiden pulled her away over to the tree that he'd left Dougie leaning up against. They dropped behind them as he half dragged her and half carried Dougie towards Keegan's empty hearse. He hadn't even been able to lay his little brother or Ashleigh to rest. Their coffins lay by the graveside with bullet holes in them and white flower petals scattered around them smattered in blood. He would never forgive the Syndicate for this. No amount of revenge could absolve their continued disrespect, but he would make them pay dearly.

As they passed the bushes near the groundskeeper's house, Ava spotted one of her father's town cars. In the front passenger seat, watching her get carried away was Chris. He looked at his goddaughter without an ounce of concern or discomfort, and when she cried his name in vain, he looked away as if she wasn't even there.

Max was right.

Her heart turned to dust and suddenly the tension in her walk evaporated. She followed Aiden obediently.

"I'm all you've got now." He said it like it was a victory, as if her loneliness was a prize to be won because now it meant that whether she liked it or not the only person who was looking out for her was him.

"I have no one." She said dejectedly.

Poor, sweet, Ava-Marie. A victim of unfair circumstance, forced to suffer over the pride and arrogance of men who didn't deserve to know her.

BANG!

Dougie fired a shot that did little more than dent the bulletproof glass of the windshield, but was so obviously a kill shot. Chris was forced to acknowledge them then. He locked eyes with Dougie, and Dougie...well, Dougie just smiled.

Ava glanced back one last time at Max lying still underneath the willow tree, his chest still rising and falling, the stone angel watching him from afar.

She squeezed her eyes shut and wished, "Please."

There have been a lot of interesting conflicting conversations about Aiden. Most of you LOVE HIM OFF and the rest of you HATE him. How has this chapter made you feel about him now? Let me know in the comments below.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO CLICK THE HEART AND SHARE TOO, M'LUVS

Till next time, stay slaying for tha gawds, you majestic swan!

Love Scotty x

[foursprout-blog]

All The Questions Every New Mom Googles After Giving Birth, Answered

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/all-the-questions-every-new-mom-googles-after-giving-birth-answered/

All The Questions Every New Mom Googles After Giving Birth, Answered

How long does it take for your belly to go back to its normal size after giving birth?

Listen, it took NINE MONTHS for your belly to get to the point where it could house a full-term baby, so chill the fuck out. Give your body a minute, okay? Actually, give it several months. You’re probably still going to look pregnant for awhile. The speed with which your belly returns to its pre-baby shape depends on a lot of factors, including your pre-baby weight, how active you were before and during pregnancy, and your genes. From the second you give birth, hormones are already hard at work signaling your uterus to contract, which is step one in the belly shrinking process. Typically, it takes about 6 to 8 weeks for a woman’s uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy, lemon size. But it’ll be awhile longer before you look and feel like yourself again. In the meantime, be as healthy as possible without putting undue pressure on yourself. Your baby deserves a mama who doesn’t fixate on her weight and shape. There are sooooo many more important things to fixate on anyway, like how adorable that tiny child you created is.

Does your belly button permanently change after giving birth or does it go back to normal?

Although your uterus is likely to contract within 6 to 8 weeks of giving birth, you can’t expect your skin (or belly button) to return to its pre-baby condition THAT fast. Your skin needs a little more time, okay? So give it some room to breathe. The belly button was stretched to its limits while you were carrying your little one—your innie probably even became an outtie temporarily—and it may or may not eventually return to its more taught, pre-pregnancy shape and size. If you stick your finger in there post birth, it’ll probably feel a little wider, which is weird. Then again, you can get used to a belly button with a slightly larger circumference. In fact, you probably won’t have time to think too much about it in between changing diapers, feeding baby, and looking out for all of those adorable baby milestones.

Do stretch marks ever go away?

Bad news. Stretch marks do NOT go away, necessarily. They’re kind of like scars, in that they tend to fade over time (about six months after giving birth you can expect them to start looking less in-your-face, I-just-gave-birthy), but you can’t expect them to disappear altogether. There are a bunch of companies out there that will try to sell you various products that can allegedly reduce the appearance of stretch marks or eliminate them, but you’re probably better off saving your money. Moisture is great for the skin, whether you have stretch marks or not, so lube the fuck out of your belly and body with your favorite lotion or some coconut oil! But also maybe try to embrace your new, lined look! Each stretch mark is in fact evidence of the awesomeness that is the process of BUILDING A HUMAN LIFE. Without those lines, your little one wouldn’t have had a lovely womb in which to grow for 40 long weeks. So own ’em, mama.

Does the line on your belly go away after birth?

Yo! That line’s got a name, actually: Linea Nigra, which is fancy speak for “black line.” That’s right, that shit is D.A.R.K—darker than its stretch mark counterparts, which means it’ll probably need more time to fade (think a year instead of six months). Don’t count on it disappearing altogether, or trust any products that promise to make that happen for you. The good news? There is now a road map from your abdomen to your pleasure parts. So if your significant other ever gets lost, you can just point them to your beautiful, brand new happy trail!

Is it normal to have night sweats after giving birth?

Yes! It’s totally normal! It may be super troubling, because shivering in bed or on the couch as you sweat your ass off makes it doubly difficult to look after a newborn, but the unpleasantness isn’t usually a sign of anything abnormal unless your sweats are accompanied by a fever or some other odd symptoms. The good news? This is your body’s way of expelling excess water. Throughout pregnancy, you gained a significant amount of water weight that your postpartum body just doesn’t need anymore. So with each uncontrollable wave of shaking and sweating, just picture the number on your scale ticking down. It’s kind of like working out without having to exercise! Yay!

What are the main symptoms of postpartum depression?

If you think you may be suffering from postpartum depression (PPD), please do NOT stop here in researching your symptoms. I am grossly unqualified to provide help to those suffering from a serious mental health problem as I am NOT a medical professional. The American Pregnancy Association is a way more helpful resource than I am. As is the Mayo Clinic. And Maternal Health Now. What I can tell you is that PPD affects a lot of women, and that it often goes undiagnosed. While feeling exhausted and overwhelmed in the postpartum stage (also know as “the fourth trimester”) is entirely normal, feeling hopeless or consumed by guilt is not. Many women experience a bout of the “baby blues” in the first few days after labor. But if the baby blues don’t improve after about two weeks, you may be experiencing postpartum depression, and you should seek help stat. Possible symptoms and /or signs of PPD include the inability to make decisions, losing all interest in things or activities you once enjoyed, fixating on whether or not you’re a good mom, and considering self-harm. If you suspect that you have postpartum depression, it is NOT a sign of weakness, but rather a complication of pregnancy. Please consult a trained professional.

What’s the difference between shaking your baby and rocking it?

I know, I know. It’s kind of confusing. Where does the line between “rocking” and “shaking” lie? They warn you about not shaking your baby, and you get it. Violently shaking a baby is a terrible idea! But considering just how fragile a newborn is, it can be tough to know when rocking or bouncing the baby might inch its way into shaking territory. The answer is to be as gentle as possible. And if you sense that your movements are being driven primarily by emotions—particularly negative emotions like frustration or exasperation—stop whatever you’re doing, put the baby down somewhere safe, and give yourself time to regroup. Even if the child is crying, it’s always a good idea to give yourself a little break if you’re starting to feel super annoyed at the world and/or your baby. Don’t be ashamed if you need a few minutes to yourself now and again. Babies are super demanding little creatures and tending to them is a full-time (often thankless) job.

Why is my baby head-butting my chest so much?

Your baby is hungry! When a baby pecks at your chest, it’s because they want the boob or bottle. That head-butting motion might seem odd, but it is actually a natural reflex known as “rooting.” Some infants begin rooting within the first hour of being born—that’s how natural it is for them to hunt for food. Luckily, a baby will often root before it tries crying in signaling that they’re hungry. So take the cue! Feed that baby! Otherwise, they’re sure to start wailing if that’s what it takes to get the “I’m hungry” message across.

Is head bobbing a symptom of Tourette Syndrome or is my baby really just that hungry?

Your baby is most likely that hungry. Symptoms of Tourette Syndrome don’t typically present until a child is between ages 3 and 10, so that head butting / pecking / rooting around is most likely a signal that your baby needs to eat. Again.

What is mastitis?

Mastitis is the catchall name for any infection of the breast tissue. If you’re breastfeeding, you are prone to developing lactation mastitis. Symptoms of mastitis mimic the flu (fever, sweats, soreness, fatigue, etc.), with one very special addition: Your boobs will feel as hard as rocks! Your beasts might also look red and feel extremely tender because they’re so inflamed from the infection. The cause of lactation mastitis is a blockage in the milk ducts, which can happen if your baby isn’t latching properly, or if they favor one breast over the other. If you’re one of the many women who develops lactation mastitis (1 in 10 breastfeeding women will develop it at some point), the good news is that it’s generally curable within a much shorter timeframe than the typical flu. And guess what the best cure is? Breastfeeding! That’s right: The cause and cure of this prickly dilemma are the exact same. More power to you, Mother Nature. Seriously, though, if you continue to breastfeed, the backup of milk in the ducts will eventually subside, bringing your boobs (and you!) great relief.

How do you know if you have mastitis?

Your boobs will hurt like hell! They will also feel harder than you ever thought possible. You might also see redness on your chest. Sometimes, women also develop an accompanying fever. Yes, it’s hard being a woman. But think of how awesome it is that you’re capable of providing your baby every single nutrient it needs for the first year of its life! You’re amazing, mom.

Do I need to see a doctor if I have mastitis?

It’s always wise to consult a medical professional, who can diagnose you officially and prescribe antibiotics if necessary.

How do you treat mastitis?

Most importantly, call your doctor before listening to any Internet instructions. If you’re breastfeeding, many recommend continuing to breastfeed, which can do wonders to speed up the healing process. Drinking lots of water, wearing loose fitting bras / tops, and getting lots of rest can also help. Oh, and take warm showers, which can relieve the pressure in your chest (read: trigger leaking!).

Will my nipples lose all sensitivity after they’ve hardened from nursing?

I get it. You are angry AF that you even have to consider this possibility. You’ve worked your butt off to build a baby throughout 40 weeks of pregnancy, and now you’re doing everything you can to help it survive by giving it the nutrients it needs through breastfeeding. And they’re telling you that breastfeeding your baby might forever impact your nipple sensitivity??? I mean, to some degree it makes perfect sense. If you think about the fact that a tiny human is suckling your nipples several times a day for weeks on end, it makes sense that that body part would be impacted longterm. But you don’t WANT to believe it. Here’s the thing: Some women report that their nipples are forever changed from breastfeeding, either in color, shape, size, or sensitivity. But others report that their nipples don’t change at all from nursing. And still others claim that their nipples change, but eventually go back to exactly the way they were pre-pregnancy. In short, there’s no way to no what will become of your nips until you’ve lived to tell us all the story.

Why does breastfeeding hurt so much and why did nobody tell me this?

It’s weird, right? You know so many people who were once babies, and so many people who’ve had babies. But NO ONE bothered to explain just how painful the process of feeding a baby from the breast is. As your baby latches onto your nipple, you envision shards of glass cutting through your most tender flesh. It hurts like hell! This beautiful, “natural” process might just be the end of you. I have no idea why no one mentioned this previously.

How old does a baby have to be to use a pacifier?

It’s up to you, really! And your baby. Some parents forgo pacifiers altogether because they fear the effects on the baby’s palate and worry about nipple confusion (when a baby has trouble switching between the breast and a bottle and/or pacifier), but experts are torn as to whether or not such concerns are at all valid. Others dive right into the pacifier waters as soon as the baby’s born because their baby clearly likes to suckle, even when he or she isn’t feeding. As parents, it’s natural to try anything and everything to soothe your baby, so maybe don’t agonize for too long over whether or not you should try a pacifier. Your time is probably better spent trying it and seeing what happens.

What color is my newborn baby’s poop supposed to be?

For the first few months of your baby’s life, while his or her diet consists entirely of liquids, expect their poop to be liquidy, too. Makes sense, right? Typical newborn poop is either yellow, green, or brown. And it’s usually very liquidy or pasty, though it may contain little flecks as well. Basically, if your baby’s poop looks like spicy brown mustard or melted caramel, you’re ALL good. An awesome thing about newborn poop is that it doesn’t smell all that bad. In fact, it sometimes smells rather sweet rather than stinky.

What is meconium?

Meconium is the sticky, green, tar-like stuff that comes out of your baby’s butt before it can actually poop like a regular human. It’s composed of everything your baby consumed while he or she was still inside your uterus—things like intestinal epithelial cells, lanugo, mucus, amniotic fluid, bile, and water. A few days after birth, once the infant’s intestines are cleared of all the meconium, they’ll start pooping fecal matter (aka poop) that is typically less thick and sticky and a different color.

How often is a newborn supposed to poo?

Once your baby graduates from expelling meconium to pooping like a real person, the frequency with which they poop depends at least in part on how they’re fed. If your feeding your baby formula, expect up to 4 gifts of stool per day. If you’re breastfeeding, expect about 3 to 4 very liquidy stool gifts per day. That said, a baby’s bowel movements can ebb and flow. There may be a day of six poops, or a day of grand singular poop. As long as they’re continuing to pee (an indication that the kidneys and liver are functioning properly) and the super pooping phase (or lack of poop phase) doesn’t persist for too long, don’t worry too much. If you can’t help worrying, just pick up the phone and call the pediatrician for that extra dose of reassurance you know you’re coveting.

How often is a newborn supposed to pee?

Your little love bug will probably only pee once within the first 24 hours of its life. But don’t worry! You’ll have plenty of opportunities to change multiple diapers a day in the forthcoming months. Over the first week of your baby’s life, expect approximately one more wet diaper each consecutive day. By the end of week one, you’ll most likely see 6 to 8 wet diapers per day. If you’re getting annoyed by the frequency with which your baby burns through their disposable underpants (unless you’re one of those Earth mamas using cloth diapers), just think about how each pee is a sign that your baby’s internal organs are functioning properly. Yay!

If a baby’s poop is supposed to be liquidy, how do you know if it has diarrhea?

This is a VERY good question. Newborn poop typically looks like diarrhea, so how are you supposed to know if your baby is suffering from diarrhea? I asked my pediatrician this question and he said that if your baby has diarrhea, there will be a crazy amount of the liquidy poop. Like, WAY more than usual. So if your baby’s doing way more liquidy poops than they typically do in any given day, it could be a symptom of illness. Be sure to check in with your doctor if you suspect there’s a problem.

How long will it take for me to lose the baby weight?

There’s no way to answer this question, really, because it depends on so many factors that vary from mama to mama, such as your pre-pregnancy weight, how active you were before and during pregnancy, and, of course, your DNA (that genetic material you passed onto your baby!). The important thing to remember is that it took about 40 weeks for you to build your baby, so you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to lose the pregnancy weight within a certain amount of time. Give your body some slack, yo. Let it do it’s thing without stressing out too much because GUESS WHAT? Stress is bad for losing weight. Actually. The “stress hormone,” cortisol, will prevent you from losing those stubborn pregnancy pounds. So ~*breathe*~, and give yourself some room to get there, honey.

How long should I wait before going back to the gym?

In the typical case of a natural / vaginal pregnancy that didn’t involve any complications, most doctors recommend waiting roughly six weeks before exercising again. Remember, your body went through some pretty traumatizing shit. It needs a minute to get itself back together, and you need some time to regain your strength.

Is it normal that I can’t control my own bladder after giving birth?

Unfortunately, lack of bladder control post birth is entirely normal. Think about it: You just stretched the muscles down there like crazy to squeeze a melon-sized baby out of your vagina, which, until now, was only ever stretched enough to fit a penis or a giant dildo inside it (or whatever else you’re into). Your bladder was right in the middle of things, so it needs some time to regroup. It’s going to take a few weeks or even months before your muscles tighten back up, so be patient. For now, just remember to escort yourself to the bathroom a reasonable amount of time after chugging water. Eventually, your body will go back to providing you with that crucial “time to pee” cue that prevents you from wetting your pants regularly. In the meantime, don’t shy away from wearing a pantyliner.

How long should it take me to regain control of my bladder after giving birth?

It all depends on your personal ~*birth story*~, and your body. It could be a few weeks, or a few months. Or never. Some women still pee a little every time they sneeze years after giving birth. The best way to ensure that your muscles tighten back up so that you regain bladder control is to do Kegel exercises daily. Luckily, Kegels can be done just about anywhere, so they’re easy to incorporate into your day to day. It’s also kind of fun to tighten and relax your pelvic floor in the middle of a meeting or a lunch date. Think of it as a special secret between you and your vagina.

How many ounces of breast milk is a newborn supposed to eat in one feeding?

While feeding habits vary from baby to baby, a typical newborn starts off consuming two to three ounces in one feeding, and they eat every two to three hours. One month in, the average baby consumes roughly four ounces in one feeding. If your baby’s not a normie in this category, maybe celebrate their difference rather than trying to get them to conform to the aforementioned schedule.

Why do my boobs feel like rocks?

Your breasts will start to get rock hard when their ducts are filled with milk, which can be expelled either through pumping or breastfeeding. Think of your hardening breasts as a custom time-to-feed alarm clock. Your baby has all the power to alleviate the overflow simply by suckling. If your breasts are painful and /or appear to be irritated, it could be a sign of an infection called mastitis, caused by a blockage in the milk ducts. Consult your doctor for an official diagnosis or ctrl-F your way to my responses on all questions regarding “mastitis.”

Is the baby supposed to eat from both breasts every time she feeds, or should I be rotating from one breast to the other for each feeding?

It’s up to you, really, and your baby. Some babies clearly prefer one breast over the other, and will feed mostly from their favored breast. In response to baby’s desires, that breast will end up producing more milk. Other babies will be less picky about the boob from which they feed. Still other babies will change their mind from time to time, favoring one breast and then the other. The good news is, your body knows what to do! Trust in your boobs to produce the right amount of milk for your child. In boobs we trust is your new motto!

Are you supposed to pump both breasts simultaneously?

Yes! It’s not at all self-evident, but pumping is meant to be a dual boob activity. The reason is that pumping one breast tends to trigger the other into milk production mode. Have you noticed how your right nipple tends to lactate while you’re breastfeeding baby with the left breast and vice versa? The same phenomenon is at work when you pump. So if you only hook up one boob to the pump, the other’s going to leak precious drops of boob juice gold anyway. In the name of collecting every precious drop of breast milk, hook up both boobs at once!

When should I start pumping?

Many doctors advise establishing a breastfeeding routine, which generally takes at least a few weeks, prior to introducing the pump to your already overstretched nipples. If you plan to pump from the office, many a lactation consultant will tell you it’s a good idea to begin pumping about a month or so before you return to work so you can get accustomed to the practice. For some women, however, waiting isn’t an option. If you’re intent on feeding your baby breast milk but your baby isn’t latching properly, or a medical issue prevents you from nursing, you may have to start pumping immediately. There’s really no “right” approach to pumping, so figure out what works for you if pumping is something you even plan to do!

When is the best time of day to pump?

Never! Because PUMPING SUCKS! Kidding! Kind of. Pumping is a good thing to do if you can’t be around your baby all the time but you want to keep up your milk supply. It’s also a great way to build up a stockpile of frozen breast milk so you can continue feeding your infant the stuff after weaning and/or enjoy a night out with your baby daddy without worrying about what your kid will eat while you’re not physically present to let them suckle on your nipples. For many women, milk production is at its highest during the morning hours, so if you’re going to squeeze a pumping session into your day, try to do it an hour or so after your morning feeding. But if you’re someone who seems to make more milk come nightfall, pump then. You are your own best breast whisperer, so listen to your body, particularly your mammary glands.

Is it okay to give my newborn formula in addition to breast milk?

Breast Is Best enthusiasts might SCREAM at the thought, but guess what? How you nourish your baby is entirely up to you. FED IS BEST!!! If you fear you’re not producing enough milk and/or breastfeeding just isn’t working out how you hoped it would, there’s no harm in leaning on an alternate food source. The important thing is that you stay calm and do what you must to enjoy being a mother as much as possible. Don’t let the societal pressure to breastfeed exclusively prevent you from figuring out what’s best for you and your child.

Are bowlegs normal for newborns?

Yup! Turns out newborns are pretty much all bowlegged. Weird? Not really, if you stop and think about how they’re positioned in the womb. There are different degrees of bowleggedness, of course, so if you’re concerned about your child in a young Forest Gump kinda way, just alert your pediatrician and they’ll monitor your baby’s leg development. Seriously, though, don’t fret too much over those bowlegs as they’re likely to subside as the baby ages. By age three, most kids’ legs straighten out entirely.

How long will it take for the umbilical cord stump to fall off?

Typically, the umbilical cord stump falls off at around two weeks of age. At that point, you’re free to give your baby his or her first bath. While the stump is still intact, please don’t touch it!!!! And try to be sure that your baby’s clothing doesn’t rub up against it too much as the stump could get infected. I don’t care if you’re one of those people who can’t help picking at a scab—your baby’s umbilical cord stump is NOT to be messed with. Let that little piece of flesh rot and detach all on its own. Let it sit there peacefully until it’s good and ready to fall right off. And maybe don’t be one of those people who saves the stump because it’s literally a piece of gangrenous flesh. Ew.

Is it true that a newborn can menstruate a little from ingesting her mother’s hormones?

Yes! It’s true! Kinda weird or kinda cool, depending on how you look at women’s menstrual cycles in general. Anyhoops, the fact is that a female infant might very well bleed a little from her vagina at two or three days old as a result of withdrawal from hormones she was exposed to in the womb. If your baby girl menstruates during her first week of life, thankfully for her, it’ll probably be the last time she does for about another decade.

Is it true that a newborn can develop tiny breasts as a result of consuming maternal hormones?

Did your pediatrician mention that your baby girl might develop teeny tiny breasts of her own right after birth? They weren’t lying! It’s true! For the same reason that your baby girl might actually menstruate a little immediately after entering the world via vaginal canal (see above), the girl might grow little boobies, too. Crazy, right? But also cool.

What are the little white dots on my baby’s face?

Newborn skin is super fresh and sensitive because, well, it’s brand spankin’ new! Babies are prone to developing lots of different rashes in their first few months of life. Luckily, most of them are totally harmless and will disappear all on their own. The tiny little white dots on your baby’s face are an example of a totally harmless skin condition with a special name: milia. The cause? Just some blocked oil glands. It’ll take a few weeks, but eventually those ducts will get bigger and open up, and those irksome little bumps will disappear. Whatever you do, don’t try to pop them or pinch them. Leave your baby’s face alone!

How much milk should I be able to pump from a breast in one sitting?

The important thing about pumping, especially in the early weeks, is not to freak out over how much milk you are or aren’t producing. Don’t call up your mommy friends and ask them how many ounces of milk they produced during each pumping session because you’ll end up with a slew of different answers, none of which apply to you necessarily and all of which stand to make you feel bad about yourself for no good reason at all. Pumping is not a comparathon so don’t make it one. If breastfeeding is going well for you and your baby (if it isn’t, don’t feel bad about it!), your body will adjust to produce as much milk as your baby needs. That amount should increase, naturally, after the first few weeks of your baby’s life. If your baby is gaining weight at a pace that pleases your pediatrician, you’re doing just fine. So don’t fixate on numbers, or ounces-per-session. Trust your instincts and your body’s ability to give your baby exactly what he or she needs.

Is it possible to die from exhaustion?

Allegedly, it is possible to die from lack of sleep. There’s a reason why keeping people awake for extended periods is an actual torture tactic. As any new parent can attest, being sleep deprived sucks butt! It can also be quite dangerous. You don’t want to let yourself get to the point that you’re so tired you might do something dumb like drop the baby or roll over them in bed. It’s up to you to recognize that you’re tired AF and to do something about it, like call on a friend or relative to help you out for a few hours so you can take a nap.

At what point will my baby start sleeping through the night?

Every baby is different, so there’s no official answer to this question. Some parents are lucky to have infants who sleep through the night around 6 to 8 weeks, but others will be waking up with their baby every few hours up until 6 to 9 months. Another thing to note is that some babies will sleep through the night but then regress to not sleeping through the night at certain points. And then there’s always the chance that your baby gets sick, or starts teething, which might interrupt their established sleep patterns. You really can’t predict whether you’ll birth a “good sleeper” or not, or if and when your baby’s sleep patterns will shift. Basically, now that you’re a mom or dad, you can count on feeling a tinge of nervousness every single night when you put your baby down. It’s kind of like the feeling you used to experience at the blackjack table right as the dealer flipped a card over, except that you stand to win zero dollars.

How old does a baby have to be before you start sleep training?

Oh boy. This is one of those topics that inspires serious ire amongst “experts” and their diehard followers, all of whom stand staunchly by their differing opinions on the matter. Some think it’s cruel to sleep train an infant, while others will tell you it’s beneficial to both baby (who needs adequate sleep for critical brain development) and the family overall (which needs its sleep as well). Some mothers cannot bear to let their child cry without interfering to soothe them, while others insist that encouraging a child to self soothe is a critical skill that will serve them well throughout life. In her book, Bringing Up Bébé, Pamela Druckerman notes that most French babies seem to sleep through the night starting at 8 weeks, not because French babies are genetically predisposed to sleeping more soundly, but because French parents seem dedicated to facilitating good sleep habits early on. According to Druckerman, they do this partly by pausing slightly before addressing their infants’ cries from day one, a subtle but impactful move that lets a baby know their cries will not always be answered immediately and gradually teaches self-soothing. In the end, you have to make a choice that works best for your family, whatever that may be. Here’s an article listing the various techniques for sleep training.

How long will it be before I can poop like a normal human again after giving birth?

It’s a legit struggle to poo postpartum, which is SUPER annoying, right? Difficulty pooping is the last thing a new mom wants to deal with. But if you think about what your body just went through, it makes total sense that it would be tough to poop. Your stomach muscles, which help push that fecal matter through your bowels, have been stretched and weakened like crazy throughout the 40 or so weeks you were pregnant. Plus, a lot of women need stitches after a vaginal delivery and still others develop hemorrhoids or constipation. All of these factors conspire to making pooping a bit of a problem after giving birth. Here’s the good news: Pooping will go back to being mostly a joy that brings you abdominal relief more than anything else. You just need to be patient for the first few weeks after delivery. Gradually, your sphincter muscles will regain strength and you won’t have to wince as much while squeezing the stinky stuff out of your butthole.

How long will it take my vagina stitches to dissolve?

Typically, it takes about two to three weeks for perineal tearing to heal after birth. The vagina stitches you got will actually dissolve on their own so don’t think too much about them. When you go in for your first postpartum checkup at around four to six weeks after delivery, your obstetrician will assess the situation down there, and, mostly likely, give you the thumbs up to start humping again. If you’re feeling any postpartum pain in the perineum, just be sure to mention it to the doc, okay?

How long before I can have sex again after birth?

Most healthcare providers recommend waiting four to six weeks after delivery before having sex. Sound like a long-ass time? Maybe, but not in the grand scheme of things. You need to give your body time to recuperate—for the cervix to close, your perineum to heal, and your muscles to strengthen. If your partner’s getting antsy about reinvigorating your sex life, tell them to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. You might just want to wait another four to six weeks after getting the official okay to boink, and guess what? That’s okay! Your significant other can wait. You’ve done enough of the work over the last year, so the least they can do is be patient!

Does breastfeeding impact a woman’s sex drive?

Breastfeeding is a whole THING. I mean, first off, it’s hard work. If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, you’re tethered to your baby (or a pump) pretty much constantly. It’s no wonder that feeding your baby a boob-juice-only diet would impact your mind and body in various ways. According to Susan Kellogg Spadt, PhD, a Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology from Drexel University, “It is fairly common for breastfeeding women to experience a waning of desire, even months after delivery.” In addition to the fact that most new moms are capital “T” Tired, a lack of sex drive in breastfeeding women is partly caused by hormonal shifts. Estrogen (linked to vaginal moistness and flexibility), is lower in breastfeeding women. As is testosterone, which is tied to libido strength. Meanwhile, levels of prolactin (tied to lower sexual desire) are higher in breastfeeding women. Then there’s the issue of “intimate touch.” Some assert that the process of breastfeeding satisfies a woman’s need for human contact, so they’re less likely to look to their partners for touch. Overall, it’s absolutely within the realm of normal not to want to bone while you’re still breastfeeding, even months after birth. Your sex drive will return, but probably not until after your child is weaned from the breast.

How many additional calories should I consume while breastfeeding?

Most experty types seem to agree that a breastfeeding woman needs about 500 additional calories per day to maintain her milk supply. But that doesn’t mean that you should down a donut a day rather than making healthy choices. Not all calories are created equal, so think more apples, less waffles. For reference on quantities, here’s a helpful article that’ll give you a sense as to what, exactly, 500 calories looks like in different foods. On a side note, definitely don’t try to diet while you’re breastfeeding because cutting too many calories will decrease your milk supply, rendering you relatively useless as a human cow.

Does what I eat affect my breast milk?

According to Kelly Bonyata, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, what a woman eats while breastfeeding is more critical to her own health than her baby’s. Bonyata says exactly what breastfeeding moms everywhere have been waiting to hear: “Guess what? You can drink caffeinated beverages (in moderation), have an occasional drink, eat what you want and still provide your baby with the absolute best nutrition and immunological protection – mother’s own milk.” Cheers to Mother Nature, who designed the female body to provide her babies with all the nutrition they need through her milk, even in times of hardship or famine.

How many times do you pump in one day at work?

If you’re a working mom in the good ol’ US of A, chances are you’re returning to work when your infant is six months old or younger. At that stage, if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, it’s a good idea to express milk about every three hours. So if you work an 8 hour day and commute an hour each way, that means you’ll have to pump about three times a day. Don’t worry too much about setting a time because your breasts will harden when your milk ducts are ready to be depleted. As soon as you start to feel that discomfort, escort yourself to the lactation room and do your thing. Here’s a helpful article listing pumping strategies for working mamas.

Are breast pump parts dishwasher safe?

Many new pumps come with parts that are indeed dishwasher safe. Yay! Otherwise, getting in the nooks and crannies of all those parts would require a serious amount of attention (and Q-tips). To be absolutely sure, of course, re-Google this question with the brand name of your particular pump. If you’re concerned about how to keep your pump clean in general, here’s what the Federal Food and Drug Administration has to say about it.

What is cluster feeding?

You’ve literally just settled into some semblance of a routine—feeding your child every two to three hours or so—when your baby starts to demand food hourly or MORE. Cluster feeding is the phenomenon whereby your baby suddenly seems hungry way more frequently than usual within a certain timeframe. It can persist for a couple days and then subside altogether, or happen at the same time of day for several days on end before things revert to normal. How do you know it’s happening? Because your baby is fussy and or cries more than usual, the one and only effective means of communication upon which they can rely.  Some believe that cluster feeding occurs in conjunction with growth spurts. Simply put, the baby’s hungrier because they’re temporarily growing at an increased rate. Typically, cluster feeding episodes tend to abate by four months of age.

How do I know if my baby is having a growth spurt?

Somewhat hilariously, the symptoms of an infant growth spurt can vary widely. And by “vary widely” I mean “be opposite things.” Your baby might sleep like a log for extended periods of time while growing precipitously, OR they might sleep much less. As if things weren’t difficult enough already! Other symptoms of a baby growth spurt include crying more frequently (sigh), fussing more often (sigh again), or acting clingier. Effectively, it’s super hard to pinpoint whether your baby is going through a growth spurt. But as long as you’re tending to their changing needs the best you can, you’re doing your job, mama.

How old does a baby have to be to eat solid foods?

According to the Mayo Clinic, by age four to six months, your baby will be ready for some solid food. And guess what? Your baby will actually signal that they’re ready to tackle something other than breast milk or formula. Pretty cool, right? Those signs include: holding their head up steadily, sitting up with support, mouthing their hands and/or toys, and seeming super interested in whatever you’re eating. Look out for the cues, and follow your baby’s lead.

What kind of solid food does a baby eat to start?

Imagine you had no teeth and had never eaten food—ever. You’d need something simple to start, right? That’s exactly how it works for your toothless little child. Beginning at about four to six months, your baby might be ready for solid food. If you suspect that they’ve reached this point, just double check with your pediatrician. And plan on starting simple. Offer your little one single-ingredient foods without any salt or sugar. After introducing a new food, wait three to five days to introduce another. That way, if your baby has an adverse reaction to a certain food, you can pinpoint the culprit and eliminate it from their diet. Iron and zinc, (found in pureed meats, single-grain, iron-fortified cereals, beans, and lentils) are super important nutrients for your baby during the second half of year one, so keep that in mind when selecting the foods you intro. Gradually, offer your baby mashed up vegetables and then fruits, continuing to wait three to five days in between each new food.

How old is a baby when it starts teething?

Teething can start anywhere between 3 months and 12 months, and there’s no magical sign (surprise, surprise) that will tell you it’s happening for sure. Some babies will actually demonstrate zero signs of irritability, while others will become incredibly fussy while their chompers are finally pushing through. The crankiness is due to soreness in the gums starting a few days before a tooth finally pokes through. It takes about three years for all 20 primary teeth to emerge, so that means you’ll be dealing with teething as a parent for quite some time.

When do babies start to crawl?

Crawling is a major milestone—for babies, but maybe more so for the parents who can no longer count on their child remaining stationary. Generally speaking, most kids begin to crawl around 7 to 10 months. But they might be in motion long before they’re actually crawling. You can expect some shuffling around on the bum and other attempts at motion as early as six months. So don’t get too comfy leaving baby on his or her play mat for extended periods of time. Those golden days of not really paying attention will soon be long gone! But remember, you signed up for this shit, so you might as well embrace it!

When do babies start to smile and laugh?

In the first few weeks of life, you might think your baby is smiling at you, but it’s really just a reflex. (Maybe it’s better you don’t know that. It’s kind of nice believing that your infant is already super grateful for all you’re doing to keep them alive.) Alas, infants are incapable of demonstrating their appreciation of all your hard work for quite some time. The first true smile, which will melt even the coldest heart, generally happens somewhere between six weeks and three months. Luckily, the real deal is worth the wait! Finally, a reward for all of those diapers you’ve been dutifully changing and all of those crying fits you’ve been stifling in between reassessing your decision to parent in the first place.

When do babies start talking?

You might THINK your baby’s speaking well before they actually are. It’s tempting to hang onto a few syllables within the string of weird sounds your baby starts making as early as three months old—to find the “ma” or “pa” or “yes” or “no” hidden within a slew of gobbley-gook that means absolutely nothing. But it usually takes at least six months for a baby to formulate an actual word. And if you’re into communicating in full sentences, you’ll probably have to wait until your kid’s between 1.5 and 2 years old for them to string some words into fun short sentences like “My pee stinks!” and “That’s MY toy!!!”

When do babies start walking?

On average, babies start walking somewhere between 9 months and 1 year. If your baby seems to be more of the sedentary type, however, that’s okay! It doesn’t mean they’re lazy. They might just feel like making mom and dad wait to snap an Insta story of this all-important milestone. Some kids don’t embrace the biped life fully until 16 or 17 months of age. True story.