#fml i think i'm whipped

[churipu]

jjk men & their sleepyhead gf !

featuring. gojo satoru, sukuna ryomen, nanami kento x fem! reader

warnings. none, just them being all soft and whipped for you

note. first of all, anon i am so sorry, i accidentally posted your request on the queue list and fml, i'm so embarrassed but idek how to edit the queue list so out of desperation i deleted it— but i ofc screenshotted this before i deleted the og post, so i am so sorry :(( i hope you enjoy this, and i hope you get to find out i didn't delete your ask and it's here in a form of a screenshot :((

GOJO SATORU. i feel like he doesn't mind most of the time— he does mind it if you fall asleep when you're supposed to be paying attention to him >:(

but whenever you fall asleep, his camera's always on standby, snapping pictures of you from every angle. whether you look good or bad (you never look bad btw), from up above, from below, from the left, from the right, with 0.5, i can go on.

and when you wake up, you find your phone blowing up with notifications from shoko, geto, and him, especially with the notification "@gojosatoru tagged you in a post" and it's just a slideshow post of you sleeping, a few close up shots, and your face with different instagram filters.

you don't even bother at this point since he's not going to stop, and not gonna lie, you did find it a bit funny. and the comments from shoko and geto made you laugh, so... good luck trying to sleep around him, you'll wake up to a whole album of you sleeping on his account.

"satoru, what the fuck is this filter?" it was a filter that made your face a little distorted, and gojo'd just sitting there innocently, blinking his white lashes up at you.

"you look adorable, princess."

"i don't want to sleep around you anymore."

"no, please sleep— how am i supposed to continue my daily updates of you sleeping?"

mind you, he has 200 posts on instagram and 150 of them are just you sleeping + with the cheesiest captions like "my baby is sleeping, pls tell her to wake up bcs i miss her 🥺🥺🥺"

and shoko is all up in his comments like "wake her up yourself, dumbass she's literally in your house."

SUKUNA RYOMEN. the first time you fell asleep around him was when he went out to get a glass of water, but he didn't think of it as anything and thought you were just tired.

but no— you fall asleep anywhere, whenever and most of the time. he gets pretty frustrated when you both spend time, and in a bit, your head leans onto his shoulders and sukuna checks on you, and you were out like a light.

"y/n?" soft snores.

he clicks his tongue in annoyance but doesn't push you away or get angry, although he finds you cute. sometimes snaps a few pictures to keep, but you don't know about that.

and at times, you wake up all tucked in your bed—your favorite plushie beside you, and sukuna nowhere in sight.

you open your phone and there's a few text messages from him.

[ you fell asleep, so i left ] he didn't leave, he said that to make you feel bad and for not giving him enough attention— he stayed in the same seated position for a few hours before prepping you onto your bed, tucking you in and not forgetting to place a smooch on your forehead.

[ call me when you wake up ]

[ love you ] awww.

he's so in love with you.

NANAMI KENTO. he's such a gentle soul, he won't mind if you fall asleep or is asleep whenever he comes over. in fact, he enjoys it when you fall asleep.

he read somewhere that if someone feels tired or sleepy around a person, it's because they feel safe. so nanami just concludes that his girlfriend feels safe around him, safe enough for her to get sleepy and fall asleep on him.

"kento," you murmur half-asleep, stretching your arms.

"hm?" he hums out, opening his arms for you to fall into — which you did, and he craddled you in his arms, placing his cheek onto your head.

"night night." it wasn't even night time, you just had to say it before you go to sleep, and nanami finds you so cute he couldn't help but to squeeze you a little.

"night night," he replies back, kissing your forehead.

nanami just sits there and continues craddling you in his arms, and if he needs to go, he would put you on your bed (on his bed when it's his house), and writes you a short message why he needed to go and when he will be back.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[boxwinebaddie]

Have the CD guys ever read fanfic about themselves?

OH MY GODDSKLHDHLS

YES!!! yES, THEY HAVE!!!

THEY'VE READ TOO MUCH, TBH.

no, because back in the good ole days when the boys were still The Boys and darling scotty had not made his evil fuckboy transformation into Thot, they did a very silly segment on MTV that was sponsored by red bull, who, in my fake ncuniverse, collabed with grey goose,

and released these very crazy 4loko-esqe red/gray alcoholic energy drinks that the CD boys were taste-testing ( yes, they were Gone ) while they dramatically read and re-enacted the most vile, viral sex scenes written about them in aO3 fanfictions. it was...So Good.

( boxwinebaddie DEF made the cut, jsyk. xx )

but anyways, for con-sext, The Boys took turns reading...

kenny carried the whole thing on their back tbh ( all while wearing the skeleken facemask, might i add, which required them to suck their drink through a swirly straw...a lot of sucking jokes were made...smh )

scott, i think, had to pause every five seconds to laugh and when he wasn't, his med-student brain was looking too far into the logistics of all the sex positions and the motivations behind them...love him.

jimmy's performance was phenomenal, obviously, ( comedic legend ) but all the stuttering and slurring required subtitles, i fear. whaaack.

but, uh...speaking of Reading...and being Whack.

i just want to start out by saying...

Ravenstan...I Love You.

God Bless You, Baby.

you really....tried your Very Best.

however...

...that man CANNOT read.

HEEEELPSSK

OOOOOOOOOF. IT WAS /SO/ FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

i need a ten minute super-cut of raven of crimson dawn trying to read because it is SOOOO Unserious. his dyslexia is soooo bad. RIP </3

however, i must say that i admire the confidence in which he very loudly and proudly read out words, smiled very cutely at the camera,

and pRONOUNCED THEM DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

it was god tier comedy, i am not even joking, the boys regularly skipped turns so stan had to read more often...it was that funny, fml.

he would try to read something, sound it out, squint, tilt his head to the right like a small, confused dog and go:

"'his...Personal dick?' but that...doesn't even make SENSE??? pero like, Clearly it's Jimmy's Personal Dick and not someone elses?? so i don't know why xXdrummers-bang-harder-69Xx even Wrote that." :/

please note: scott and jimmy LITERALLY ABOUT TO START CRYING whilst kenny takes a v large slurp of their drink, also trying v hard not to cry like "rae, baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this..."

*literally holds stan's hand.*

"it's not Personally...

...it's *Pulsating*.

'His /PULSATING/ Dick.'"

which i think they figured would’ve cleared that up, but, not enough, i guess bc ravenstan, squinting Again, said

"the stuff.....in orange juice?"

HEEEEELPPPPPP

NOOOOO SKLHSDSKD bABY THAT IS /PULP/.

ft. jimmy shouting "AYOOOOOO! can we get some fanfictions with smaller w-w-words in them? because raven can't r-r-read."

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!!! BOOOO!!! LAME!!! CORNY!!!

Justice For My Sexy Dyslexy KING!!!! >:O

listen!!! he is Very Nice and Very Pretty, therefore, he does not NEED to know how to Read, okay?!!! he has Other People to read for him, namely, his super smart mega fine Law Student Boyfriend who rEADS TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! he Won!!!

he did also say 'okay, FUCK YOU GUYS!' and scott legitimately waved the list and (th)said "i think you actually do that in thith next one."

WHICH????? the only thing funnier than stan trying to read on camera, is when they have to read any fic where ravenstan whips out...

…hIS THICK MASSIVE TEN INCH SCHLONG.

when i tell you they were SCREAMING!!!! ohMyGOD.

that was sO FKN FUNNY to them, they were like OH MY GOD, RAVEN PUT THAT THING AWAAAAAAAY!!! ITS TOO LARGE WERE SCARED SKDJSLD dead, actually sooo dead...like their audience did not understand the context of that, but it was SOOOO unserious.

i swear the cd boys fave inside joke is to make an insane amount of out of pocket raven dick jokes in interviews, like i shit you not, they’re like "hi, sorry we're late! raven turned around too fast coming out of the shower, accidentally slapped us in the face with his HUGE DICK and knocked us out cold." SKHDD it happens so often ppl are literally Frothing At The Mouth trying to SEE IT.

smmHHHH.

like, besties...

I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand While I Say This.

HKDSKDSKDKHSDhLKSHDLDSK

Live, Laugh, Love My Boys. <3

-uncle nina, proud mother of four

( or, uh, Three ig )

[carmenlire]

I hate my job. forget all the usual complaints about people telling me they don't have inboxes while logged into gmail and the website they need to go to is actually an email address but I just.

I was helping this guy and it was just a regular interaction, with him being moderately annoying as is usual. well at the end of me scanning his papers he, out of nowhere says "wow ur so beautiful." and in my head I'm just yelling fuck!!!! because whyyyyy do men do this shit, especially when I'm at work like u r nothing but a customer to me and I will happily forget you the second I walk away. and ofc tonight my manager is working and she's like 5 feet away at the computer desk so like double fml. it's just so awkward and I feel so put on the spot and gross, you know?

well I just say thank you and take a step back (because again the interaction is done) and he doesn't take a hint but instead goes on to ask me if I have a boyfriend. I just say no and walk away.

and coworkers always say I should just lie and say yes but 1) I'm very weird about lying even as an adult and 2) something in me just resists saying I have a boyfriend so much. I'd (almost??) rather say I have a girlfriend but obviously i'm not doing that at work. idk it's almost like it feels more dishonest to say yes i have a boyfriend? but also i said no take a hint!

he didn't take a hint. he called me back over by saying he needed help with something else, which whatever, but no!! he said "u said no what does that mean. do you have a man or not" and again my manager is right there and it's so quiet in the library and i just said no again. and he pressed me AGAIN and finally i just said "i'm not having this conversation with you" and inside i was shaking? hmm that may be too much but i was just so deeply uncomfortable. and the minute i said that i feel like he got pissed-- and i saw my manager whip her head over to me. i just walked away and went to the workroom and my manager came in a few minutes later and was extremely supportive.

i just feel so gross about it all. why do men do this at work?? where i can't escape?? where my customer service rebels against the very idea of being firm or doing anything that a customer could view negatively even if rationally i know that me and my wellbeing? my sense if self? comes first (even if i know it isn't that deep).

tonight was the first time i've said no and walked away and also the first time i said point blank i'm not having this conversation. it felt good even if doing so was almost unbearably embarrassing? i was sitting in the back after my manager talked to me and i just felt. . . embarrassed.

and i KNOW this is wrong but i feel so self conscious like- do i dress provocatively at work? is it my fault? are coworkers judging me for my appearance like i'm inviting this to happen, like i want men to hit on me? i wanna ask a coworker if they think i should dress more conservatively but i was literally wearing black dress pants, a black sweater, and loafers. but were my clothes too tight? am i a complete unprofessional?

and then the whole queer thing is an entirely separate dimension. i tweet about it to vent when it happens but just-- the idea that men perceive me in such a way, especially when i am never aware of it, when i am doing nothing to cater to them, just makes me so uneasy. every time a guy hits on me at work i feel betrayed almost? like we are just customer service worker and customer. i literally dislike 99% of all people i talk to at work. and when they do this it just makes me feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and the question of boyfriend just kinda makes my skin crawl.

[firstoperatorspyranch]

Alright yall, need some advice. Recently met (well sorta) a gal who works close to my work, comes in here n there for a drink(I work at a distillery) or at least walks past to the public parking lot next to us.

She came in one day for a drink,dressed Hella cute, usually dressed goth/rave style, this day came in summer dress all sorts of girlyied up. Caught me off guard, but gdamn did she look cute. Almost took out a customer while carrying a stack of cups while rubbernecking her at the bar kinda cute..I'm shy as hell normally. Mentioned something to a coworker, he straight approached her, asked her name, and told her I thought she was Hella cute..after she left, he was outside talking to me smoking a cig, mfer straight pointed at me and "yea this guy! He's the one who thinks your cute!" *dies a little inside as I awkwardly smile n wave*..

Fast forward a few weeks to last night. See her walk past, her n a (her) coworker walk across the street to a local bar..thinking why not, I'll give it a go! Bust ass, get off work early ish, me n corworker/wingman(same stubborn fucker who caught her name for me) wander over. I snag a beer n a shot, she's Hella cute tonight, think ima need some liquid courage to talk to her. Homie tells me I gotta talk to her start the convo yadda yadda.. have me another shot (still to shy to try n talk to her..fml..) he straight wanders over n talks to her n her coworker friend..apparently says something about me..her friend wanders to me, breaks the ice, asks if I wanna punch the punching bag machine at the back of the bar, I'm like f it why not...after we spend our punches (she straight whipped my ass by score just saying(great way to start the night lemmi tell ya)) she wanders outside to join lady n few other for cig. I stop at bar n grab another shot, another beer, thinking 'alright here's my chance, let's small talk over a cig n I can catch her next round after we come back inside'. Not gonna lie, she straight stupefied me with a glance as I walked out the door. She's puffin on a vape, I pull out a cig, she glances over, looks me dead in the eyes n asks if she can have one, and I straight went full retard/coma victim. Straight felt myself blush like a boiled then sunburnt ginger, (thankfully mostly hidden by my beard but still) I offered my pack, handed her my lighter, collected my lighter, and wallflowered the convo she was having with her friend and my friend(meanwhile smiling like a toddler with a lollipop, not saying a word..straight brain broke..eh durr?) After that, all came inside for another round( I got mine, that's it) but I straight derp..any time she looked in my direction, not even at me, just like my way, I straight blushed again and went derp..anytime she looked at me, like I could see her eyes and she could see mine, full brain reset..

Still haven't managed to get her number or even talk to her, feel like a totall derp. Still totally want to, but how the hell can I if I straight return to zero every time I see here eyes? Those pretty mesmerizing I want her to eat my soul eyes...? Help?

[liyawritesss]

Imma be honest....I only have a few that are from Webtoons the rest I'm pirating because they're either not on Webtoon, cost a lot of money, or aren't officially translated into English 😖. But my favorite ones atm are:

Under the Oak Tree-Because no man in the world should be as sexy as Riftan and no woman should have to go through as much trauma as my baby Maxie. But she's growing now and becoming the baddie that I always knew that she was inside.

Who Made Me a Princess- I don't have any words to describe how beautiful the art in this series is because it's just *chef's kiss*. But I'm a sucker for the daddy-daughter relationship and how the MC and her father grow as people and are able to overcome obstacles and I- 😭

Another Typical Fantasy Romance- They throw every romance cliche in the garbage, set it on fire and throw the ashes into space because my goodness. Healthy relationship, Communication, and a cute ML who's whipped for his wife with a FL who's a boss and won't let anyone ruin her marriage. It's really funny because the ML is the one who you think you should be scared of because he's all big and muscular when it's really his wife. Like at least he'll just kill you or hurt you. The FL will make you wish that you were dead I have no words. Pellus and Litheria have my heart, my soul, my first born child.

I Was Tricked into this Fake Marriage!- I was also pulled into this one because of the beautiful art. This one also has a power couple. Another time that I started because of a hot man. Idk man hot men are my weakness. This one is also really good but it can get sad sometimes.

Honey, I’m Going On a Strike- This one is almost exactly like Another Typical Romance except the ML is a himbo. Like it makes no sense how a man is so cute, hot, and stupid all at the same time 😩. But it's ok his wife has all the brain cells and he knows it. I just wish he'd see that he's worth something too. His wife is smacking some sense into him though so it's ok. I love how at first their relationship was strained but the after while the FML was like I'm not doing this anymore imma say what I want and if he doesn't like it that's tough. And then finds out that her husband is a lil stupid and doesn't know how to communicate properly.

I Raised a Black Dragon- Cute baby dragon and his mama. I ju- I mean there's more but like.... I think the title sums it up pretty well. I mean there is someone who's trying to kill the FL and all but I'm just here to read about her interactions with her baby and see them in their matching outfits. Also the chemistry the 2 of them have with the ML is just beautiful. Like they're just a lil family trying not to die and all. LET THEM LIVE IN THEIR COTTAGE IN THE FOREST IN PEACE.

Anyways....yeah that's what I have. I have like over 300 but um I'm not writing about all of those so 😂

3, 5 and 6 def have my interest, I'll have to check them out sometime.

[m-is-for-mj]

Ugh I can't do anything right, my mom took me to Starbucks with her cause she was meeting a bride for a wedding consult and I was supposed to buy us both a coffee so she handed me the card and I went up and she wanted a frappachino but it's cold, so I wanted something hot, but Starbucks menus are so vague it hurts and I was trying to figure out what I wanted, but I'm horrible at that's kind of thing and I rarely ever go to Starbucks and when I do my mom orders, so I was having a mini panic attack for the dumbest reason and Its so loud in there and everything and I asked my mom what I got last time cause I think that was good? I don't remember tbh, but she was like "idk, I don't remember Just pick something" like mom's do so I went up and she came with and she ordered hers and I didn't know what to do so I just picked the first thing she suggested cause i didnt wanna be That Guy that holds up the line and now I have it but it's kinda awful and it was supposed to have whipped cream t it doesn't, but I didn't say anything cause that's not what I do and now I'm gonna just suffer in silence fml

[yukipri]

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE ONE WITH YURIO & SHURA: YURIO IS SO WHIPPED LOLOLOL (I'M SURE ALL THE HUSBANDS ARE BESOTTED WITH YUURI BUT HE JUST LOOKS EXTRA WHIPPED HERE). LOOK AT HIS PROTECTIVE HOLD ON YUURI AND SHURA!! LIL SHURA'S TRYING TO BE TSUNDERE BUT I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM GRIPPING SO TIGHTLY ONTO MUM'S ARM AHAHA. I LIKE THAT LITTLE STRAND OF YURIO'S HAIR THAT FELL ON TOP OF YUURI'S HEAD TOO.

THANK YOU!!! And LOOOOL yeah Yurio’s super whipped, he usually doesn’t like showing it as openly as some of the other husbands but Yuuri’s birthday is an exception ^ ^; And yup, Shura thinks the whole family portraits thing is super embarrassing but it’s not like he’s not exactly happy maybe, and Yasha’s always shoving him around but he loves mum too ^ ^; They both have tentacle hair fml they took so long to draw