All folk punk exists on a spectrum of songs that make you feel a sense of belonging you’ve suddenly realized you’ve been craving your whole life, making you break down in pure joy, and songs that make you so sad you have to stare at a wall for a few hours. And in the corner there’s a completely separate circle that just says “FUCK YEA BANJOS!!!”
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Metal Genres If They Were People
Power Metal: Goes to a lot of ren faires, sews her own garb and probably makes foam larp weapons. Has strong opinions about fantasy novels you’ve never heard of and her rants are often more fun than the books themselves. She scoffs when you say something is silly as if that’s bad. Maybe the most well-adjusted person you know.
Doom Metal: Always high. Never sleeps. The lowest key person ever until suddenly she’s crying on your couch, then it’s like nothing happened. She tells strangers her traumas with a smile. Her eyeliner is a mess but it looks great anyway. Surprisingly fun at parties, but god, you worry about her.
Folk Metal: Hates people, loves fishing. The kind of reconstructionist pagan who gets mad if you call her a neopagan. So many friends ask her to fix their cars that she started charging. Drinks too much, mostly stuff she brewed. Genuinely kindhearted, but has problematic politics.
Death Metal: Tomboy type but has a few pretty goth dresses for special occasions. Self aware enough to know she makes bad decisions, not self aware enough to stop. Mean in a way that makes you laugh. Playfully punches you in the arm a bit too hard. She's always asking if you want to see something gross and, because it's her, you do.
Thrash Metal: At a lot of protests but you can't tell what she believes exactly. Listens to metal but only sees local hardcore acts live. Barely owns clothes that aren’t denim or flannel. Quit drinking years ago, lost most of her friends over it. Collects model tanks and is only a little weird about it. You don’t know if she has a job and you will never ask.
Black Metal: Recovering edgelord. Wears winter clothes in all weather. Goes to parties she hates because she can’t be alone. Has a lot of neopagan and anprim books she's never read. Wants you to think she's some tortured artist, but since she got medicated she just writes nice poems about how much she loves trees.
Nu-Metal: Grew up in the midwest. Exclusively uses slang that was popular before she was born. Has a new snapback every day, but always the same ratty hoodie. Covered in shitty tattoos she got for free from friends. She's a real homie, but you wish she'd stop dragging you into dumb shit. She does it all for the nookie.
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Today is indigenous peoples to so why not check out some kick ass native metal bands
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Pictured: Voice of Wilderness, released in 2005
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A short list of bands that sing in rare, extinct or indigenous languages
Old Church Slavonic: Батюшка (Batushka)
Old Saxon: Menhir
Gaulish: Eluveitie
Old Norse: Skáld
Te Reo Māori: Alien Weaponry
Samoan: Shepherds Reign
Khakas and Chulyms: Otyken
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Agalloch - Our Fortress is Burning (I), Bloodbirds (II), The Grain (III)
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