#for anyone concerned

[sneck-lemonade]

hello. unclegarou here. (this my main acc) i’m here to audition for the rival position

[ineffablelunatic]

A capvers fanfic, as written by the text generator:

Loving Captain Teddy

A Short Story

Captain Teddy was thinking about William Havers again. William was a shy angel with slender eyes and dark-eyed legs.

Captain walked over to the window and reflected on his peaceful surroundings. He had always loved beautiful Button House XI with its old, outrageous old forest. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel mournful.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a shy figure of William Havers.

Captain gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a loving, charismatic, whisky drinker with tall eyes and elegant legs. His friends saw him as a square, smoggy statue. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a quaint baby bird.

But not even a loving person who had once jumped into a river and saved a quaint baby bird, was prepared for what William had in store today. 

The rain hammered like kissing dogs, making Captain emotional. Captain grabbed a warm letter that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Captain stepped outside and William came closer, he could see the brief glint in his eye.

William gazed with the affection of 1555 friendly melodic magpies. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want love."

Captain looked back, even more emotional and still fingering the warm letter. "William, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with wistful feelings, like two harsh, hissing hares loving at a very withdrawn birthday, which had blues music playing in the background and two commanding uncles running to the beat.

Captain studied William's slender eyes and dark-eyed legs. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Captain in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you William."

William looked happy, his emotions raw like a loopy, large limpet mine.

Captain could actually hear William's emotions shatter into 9575 pieces. Then the shy angel hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of whisky would calm Captain's nerves tonight.

THE END 

[goldenbeatle]

My niece is definitely a future dog trainer. I love that Beatle can be handled by a toddler, I think it really speaks to her stability as a service dog.

[cozycryptidcorner]

OKAY listen I’m post party and drank a lot but if you see a child and your immediate response is “oh, ew, a crotch goblin 😣” my immediate instinct is not to be friends with you. Fuck you honestly kids do NOT ask to be put on the earth. If given the chance, would I have picked being aborted in the womb? Yes. But does that give you the right to bully little kids? No lmfao fuck off.

Being mean to kids isn’t a cute personality trait.

[katzkinder]

How does it feel to have massive chungus oonga boonga boobas?

Like I’m the king, baybee

One day, me and my massive hungalogungas titty knocker supreme whammy-jammies will take over the world!

[spartanlocke]

FUCK YOU!!!!

[ollierachnid]

i am nowwww jobless

[gay-decepticon]

Discord has banned me for cat crimes

Goodbye friends - I will miss you in the coming trials

[nedsseveredhead2]

I am of average health!

[waytoomuchanalysis]

Hey so your local hopeless romantic screwed up big-time and if I'm screaming for a few hours just know that I'll probably post about it soon

[rhythm-of-the-wardrums]

I should also mention I am now the proud owner of a scorpion in a bottle

[eat-the-rude]

My mood at work today: Today is a good day...but there is also about a 80% chance I claw the next customers eyes out....

[reyphorian]

I had to ask my older brother for a hug a few minutes ago. That doesn't really sound like much to most people but for those who understand the relationship I have with him and that sincere signs of familial affection just don't happen between us, that speaks volumes.

[thequeenintheeast]

dmarx-bringit said: hannibal and health-related? like maybe they eat things others don’t. [I’m saying it’s people. It’s all people.] I may not have liked Cersei as an evil woman, but she played an evil character sooo well!

Hee.......that would be weird combo. I follow a combination of recipe blogs, work out blogs, and fandom blogs so that post was a combo of junk that I see on my dash. Usually they are very specific of 1 thing like for example Hannibal. Though Hannibal and health-related would be pretty amazing because they would be outing themselves as an "actual cannibal" but honestly people are nasty. I've seen inside people and unless you get yourself a really healthy person the meat would prob be real gross. You would need to go look for new age/hippy type people to ensure you didn't get any disease from eating them. Hannibal must have had an easier time eating people when he was a surgeon then now that he is a  psychiatrist because as a surgeon he would have complete assess to their medical chart and could make sure they were safe to eat. Now he is kinda just shooting dice.  

I look at medical charts daily and let me tell you I would not want to eat any of those people. They are not clean at all.