#for legal purposes blah blah fiction

[magicalgirlagency]

I sincerely think what's the most freaky thing about Gushing Over Magical Girls is the fact that the people who are watching it see no issue seeing underaged girls being sexualized left and right. It's just like you said, the sexy scenes wouldn't be an issue if the girls in question were of legal age.

Yeah. These people are so desensitized to CP it scares me. But then again, I'm not even surprised, because I've seen Kobayashi-san's Maid Dragon have the exact same effect on people.

Here's a list of the fucked up shit that Maid Dragon had:

Lucoa, a promiscuous dragon woman with Tig Ol' Biddies who's constantly trying to get an underaged boy unfortunately named SHOTA to have sex with her;

Kanna Kamui, Tohru and Kobayashi's adopted daughter (who's 9yo, may I also add), also has her fair share of fanservice, as the camera zooms in on her chubby thighs as much as possible;

Saikawa Riko, Kanna's classmate/human friend, has a crush on her that's SO intense, she makes faces that look like she's having an orgasm;

Iruru, an Oppai L*li Dragon (credited as 16yo, but is also thousands of years old) who was the catalyst for a transphobic joke subplot that involved cursing Kobayashi with a penis. She's also shipped with Aida Taketo, a 16yo boy who nosebleeds every time he looks at her breasts;

Tohru, upon learning that Kobayashi has a penis, attempts to poison her food with a love potion so they can have sex for breeding purposes (like, that's a gag throughout the whole series: Tohru is always constantly cohercing her partner into love);

The manga is said to have more risqué content, so much so that the anime had to cut some of it/water it down.

But did people cared about all of these controversies? No, they didn't cared about them, because 🏳️‍🌈✨💕~LESBIANS~💕✨🏳️‍🌈

People are always willing to throw morality and self-respect out of the window when there's queerness involved in a series (implied and/or canonical), and Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete is no exception.

Like, I get that it's fiction and we're starving for queer rep and blah-blah-blah, but I don't think it's worth putting yourself on a watchlist. Please, go find something better.

[xythlia]

okay but every dc creator and consumer NEEDS to understand that some people are just gonna think you're a fucking freak regardless. There's people who think I'm a fucking freak and that's just something I've had to accept, everyone is allowed to be into what they're into but we also have to be able to get a grip and realize some people are going to look at you funny for it it's just a fact of life

that said, the definitions of shota and loli EXPLICITLY state it's about sexualizing child characters. I haven't met many dark content creators who don't already know or discuss that distinction within dark content and that's why it is actually important to separate dark content into different categories. Someone using fiction as a safe outlet to explore taboo topics like yandere or cnc or as a controlled outlet to explore subjects related to personal trauma is not on the same level as someone using a drawn child in place of a real one for sexual gratification.

its especially important to have distinctions because of the definition of pornography: material that depicts nudity or sexual acts for the purpose of sexual stimulation and the legal definition of csam which includes drawn depictions of minors in sexual contexts. When someone is creating or consuming shota/loli content it is for sexual stimulation, that goes beyond dark content. That's beyond just "people might think of me funny because I write dead dove or because im into cnc" it's okay there's something extremely fucking predatory going on here because why do you wanna think about kids in sexual scenarios to get off?

I've written some weirdo fucking shit but my dark content is not going to be lumped in with literal predators skirting the legal loopholes of csa because that's a whole separate beast. What I write about is kink between consenting adults, as do the majority of dc writers. I'm always very do whatever you want but I'm also always highly suspicious of the people who are the first to jump out and talk loud as fuck about how "it's just lines it's just pixels blah blah blah" because tbh no it's not. Its been proven there's real predators who hide behind that rhetoric online, like that toonimal person who was literally on a pedo website talking about being "pro contact" with minors. Those people are always hiding out and taking advantage of this misguided defense of "they're just lines!" "block of you don't like it!" bc it's easy to hide behind it when someone else is acting like a rabid dog on their behalf and making excuses for a predators behavior. so no, we should be making distinctions between dark content and csa material because it isn't all created with equal intentions

[normal-thoughts-official]

Actually, anti parabatai plot as a criticism of the oppressive regime would have been super interesting. Like they literally perform some magical ritual on minors. Moreover, it’s seen as prestigious and is highly encouraged. Moreover, if children have doubts they can’t even properly discuss them. Notice how in 2x03 Alec is left so alone he only has his baby sister to share his misgivings about the ritual. Moreover, he isn’t even happy about the upcoming ceremony. It really feels like he only ->

-> out of obligation (reminds me of ‘are you happy’, ‘yes, I’m following my duty’). Idk maybe it was indoctrinated that cancelling the ceremony once you gave your word is unthinkable, dishonourable, shameful or some other shit. Anyway, Alec didn’t look enthusiastic AT ALL. We don’t see what role Maryse and Robert played in this but they were probably their toxic selves. Besides, it’s strange to make a team out of two people so different both personality and career wise. And speaking of indoctrination, you can see children getting ingrained with this shit from the very young age. Like little Izzy may not have wanted a parabatai herself but you can see she was still affected. Jace legit said that they were gonna be REAL brothers as if something stopped him seeing Alec as such without a magical tattoo which is major yikes

EXACTLY!!! you get it!!!!!! not only that but the whole "the biggest pain a shadowhunter could ever know is losing a parabatai", "parabatai are the most important people to each other", "parabatai are in perfect tune" etc like so much shit that was straight up NOT SHOWN TO BE TRUE throughout the plot. valentine and luke were parabatai and he betrayed him, jace basically never gave a fuck about alec's wellbeing, he couldn't even tell when alec was literally dying lol also the bond isn't even that strong, like if ur away for a while or try to TRACK THEM it breaks??? and in the books robert and michael were parabatai as well and then they never talked again and robert legit straight up couldnt tell when michael DIED AND WAS REPLACED BY VALENTINE WITH A GLAMOUR like My God

my hc for this whole thing is that the parabatai thing was invented to increase sh loyalty to each other as well as their teamwork, and they made up this bunch of bullshit about it being like family and super important and their pain is your pain and blah blah blah to seem more desirable. kinda like how spartans encouraged relationships between soldiers to make them stronger? or how compulsory monogamy teaches you that the way to achieve happiness is through One Single Person who will be perfect for you always oops

actually o shit there are plenty of parallels between parabataiship and compulsory monogamy and i think i'm gonna go into that now. so mandatory disclaimer that compulsory monogamy =/= your monogamous relationship, just like heteronormativity =/= your heterosexual relationship. okay? okay. if yall come for me screaming that Monogamous People Aren't All Toxic i will ignore you because that's not what i'm saying and i just explicitly stated that. okay? okay

so i’m gonna skip the historical part because compulsory monogamy is very intimately related with the invention of capitalism, private property and etc., and that doesn’t work quite as well in the context of sh since it’s more of a military society than anything, and again, i do believe that it’s more of a “making them more likely to be loyal”/less likely to question missions and stuff thing. but the effects of parabataiship as it is constructed in sh lore are very similar to those of compulsory monogamy in real life:

the whole loyalty thing that can be very easily turned into toxicity/co-dependency/straight up abusive and unequal dynamics. again, i’m talking about monogamy as a system, not saying that all monogamous relationships are toxic, okay? if i sound insistent here, it’s because you wouldn’t believe the amount of times i put 4981749318 disclaimers like that and ppl still got offended on behalf of their monogamous relationships i wasn’t talking about

i’ll go further into that. monogamy ideology, like parabatai ideology, tells us that there’s a kind of relationship that is superior to all others and should be prioritized above all others (romantic relationships for monogamy ideology, parabataiship for parabatai ideology. compulsory monogamy and amatonormativity are more than just intimately related, they are a part of the other). this means that not putting the person you have this kind of relationship with above all others is seen as a crime and betrayal. and i’m not talking about cheating here, i’m talking about stuff such as “would you let your partner go to parties without you?”, seeing you at a place without your partner and asking where they are and why they didn’t come with you/assuming that you must have fought or broken up, considering that a relationship is doomed or not very close if its parts are not literally inseparable, turning the two parts of a relationship into some kind of almost symbiotic creature, where you stop being “A and B” and become “A-and-B” (this exact wording is even a trope in romantic fiction, esp fanfic), “would your missus let you come with us?”, having huge fights because one party wants to go somewhere and the other doesn’t and they can’t come to an agreement on that, etc., i think you get it by now

this mindset that the person you have this particular kind of relationship with should be prioritized above all others, that a part of your sense of self should be merged with theirs, that you essentially have to become a unit, and that it’s hard, but you have to fight to make it work (”love hurts”, “love is tough, it’s like that”, “if you love someone you have to make sacrifices for them”, etc) makes people feel guilty whenever they don’t put that person and their wishes above all else, or even when they want to do something without them, because that is seen as not loving them enough. not only that, but monogamy ideology promises you that once you find The One™ you will achieve a kind of happiness and perfection in your life that you couldn’t get any other way. this means that people are effectively scared of breaking up or of not having/wanting a relationship like that, because it means that they are broken and will never be truly happy (see what i meant when i said that amatonormativity and monogamy ideology are a part of each other?). that’s why you see people saying shit like “my greatest fear is to waste many years on a relationship and break up in the end”, “if you aren’t dating to get married you’re dating to get your heart broken”, etc. 

so you see people trying their damn hardest to stay loyal to the relationship even when it obviously doesn’t make them happy, feeling guilty for not being happy, and accepting toxic mindsets and abuse because they feel like they owe it to them. especially the weakest link in the relationship - notably women in monogamy ideology, as monogamy is also inherently linked with the patriarchy and in monogamy ideology specifically a woman in a het relationship is seen as more than just a part of the man she is in a relationship with, she’s seen as his property, but that dynamic can also be inverted or ruled by other factors such as race, sexuality, gender identity, class, etc. - are way more likely to be seen as owing their partners loyalty. not just that, but in particular with people who are otherwise oppressed, being loved is seen as almost a favor, because again, being in a romantic relationship is supposed to be your exclusive golden ticket to heavenly happiness and whatnot, and oppressed people (esp queer ppl and poc) as seen as undeserving of that, and effectively denied that in many ways, so they are more likely to want to stay in a toxic relationship out of fear that they won’t ever find anything better (it’s not a coincidence that “no one will ever love you like i do” is such a common phrase to hear from abusers). also, let’s not forget that even the right to break up in itself is something that had to be fought for. the feminist movement spent years trying to make divorce legal (in the places where it is) and still fights to make it be seen as acceptable. if it weren’t for other pressures trying to change the rules of monogamy, a “breakup” would quite literally not even be allowed, and this always benefits the strongest link

so now that that’s been explained, back to parabataiship. i think the parallels here are very clear - i mean, for one, you can’t really break it up, unless you purposefully use soul tracking or stay away for a long time, so it’s like, old fashioned monogamy. but more than that, breaking your parabatai bond is seen as terrifying. there is a lot of purposeful rethoric that directly says that the pain of the parabatai bond being severed (whether by will or by one of the parts dying) is unmatchable, and that plants a horrible fear into people, to the point where villains use that against parabatai shadowhunters (for example, the owl possessing jace and telling him that it’ll kill alec so he knows what the pain of losing a parabatai is like). this means that loyalty is owed, because even if you just want to be away from your parabatai, this might break the bond and put you through unspeakable pain (in theory. as i’ve been saying, it’s basically been proved that that’s not true, because when jace died that was far from being the worst pain that alec’s ever felt) 

moreover: the whole thing about how this kind of relationship is sacred, above all else, and will bring you a kind of happiness that is impossible to achieve otherwise. this is said many times - like you said, parabataiship is seen as something desirable and that brings honor. the vows are very similar to marriage (the highest pillar of monogamy) vows (“your family will be my family, your people will be my people”, “entreat me not to leave thee”), clary is constantly told that she could never understand the relationship jace and alec have because they’re parabatai and being parabatai is special and basically uncomparable to anything else, even by izzy, who never wanted to have a parabatai (and in the end she ends up wanting to, which reminds me of the whole “oh, you’ll want it once you grow up” trope with heterosexual romantic relationships. like, basically, you’ll want it once you find the right person. that is something aro, gay, and non-monog ppl hear all the damn time). the whole thing about how obviously jace is supposed to be the one alec loves the most, they’re parabatai, the whole thing about how “alec would die for me, we’re parabatai” like that is unquestionable; the souls becoming one, the being able to feel each other’s feelings and blah blah blah. in short: sacred, above all else, and, unless you do something very wrong, able to bring you a kind of connection and happiness you wouldn’t be able to get otherwise no matter how strong your feelings or your compatibility is; and once you get it, you can’t get out

and then there’s the imbalance it brings. like i said, notably in monogamy as a pillar of heteronormativity the imbalance lays on women, altho other factors can change that balance or be more prominent. with parabataiship, there’s an obvious trope of queer people getting heterosexual parabatai and being very obviously the weakest link (alec with jace, michael with robert, there are others but i don’t remember. the exception to this is luke, who is written as equally heterosexual and, in the books, equally white, to valentine, but who’s still the weakest link anyway because valentine gains power and prestige luke doesn’t have). again, the whole “alec would die for me” thing tells a lot. he didn’t say “we would die for each other”. he said “alec would die for me”. despite the rethoric being that both parts should be endlessly devoted, the expectation that one should fulfill that obviously falls harder on one than on the other. with monogamy, there’s even a kind of rethoric that you have to work for the reciprocation to be there (for example, victims of domestic abuse being told that if they dedicate themselves to their partners enough, the abuse would stop, like they owe their partners dedication and love and comprehension, and then their partners will give it back only once they get enough of it) that we haven’t really seen with parabatai (at least i don’t remember it) but that i wouldn’t be surprised to see present there. after all, alec can feel it when jace gets a papercut and jace can’t tell when alec is literally dying, and none of that is ever questioned in canon

and then the imbalance is kept because, again, breaking up parabataiship is unthinkable and shameful, not to mention kind of impossible/not allowed to do officially. so the weakest link is basically stuck in this situation of imbalance and, in many cases, toxicity and abuse, but can’t break out of it and effectively feel guilty because according to everything they’ve ever been told, they should be elated that they’ve found their one and they should be happy. if they aren’t happy, then they’re broken, or not trying hard enough, and it’s taboo to even talk about that

again, i’m not saying that all monogamous relationships or all parabataiships are toxic, okay? i’m saying that, as a structurer of our society (and sh’s fictional society) they favor this kind of dynamic, allow it, and justify it through their ideologies. in the same way that heteronormativity allied with misoginy makes it more likely for women to be abuse or r-word victims than men. is every het relationship toxic? no. is heteronormativity toxic? yes. monogamy works the same way

in short, parabataiship is not a relationship model. or rather, it is, but way before and more than that, parabataiship is an ideology that is specifically structured to subjugate shadowhunters, notably queer shadowhunters, and keep their loyalty to each other and to the clave, and most of its rethoric (nothing can ever be stronger than the love for a parabatai, nothing can match the pain of losing a parabatai, parabatai are one and the same and they share a soul) is absolute bullshit built to make it more desirable and make sure that structure is left unquestioned. a plotline that questions the buildings of parabataiship and shows how the whole myth that’s around parabataiship is that, a myth, built to subjugate and control people, would have been amazing, but of course we couldn’t get that so crumbles of meta it is

me: i’m tired of discourse in my blog i’m going to chill for now. me the very same day: what if i went on my first more detailed anti-monogamy rant when that is 100% guaranteed to attract aggressive people who can’t read and also criticized sh fandom’s beloved parabataiship all in one post?

[teashadephoenix]

11 Questions

I got tagged by @pomegranate-belle <3 I'm sorry this took for fucking ever?!!??

I’ll tag @lioness--hart @fox-in-the-library and @whitegodiva if you guys want to do it? And anybody else, obvi <3

1. How long have you been writing?

Actually sitting down to type stories out? Eight years old. I've been making shit up since I could talk. I have it on good authority I am entertaining to listen to.

2. What are the major themes of your current wip(s)? LONG ANSWER

omg I really dont know. I spent several hours over several days banging on this question in my head both in front of the computer and away from it only to come to the horrified realisation that I Don't Know. *gay panic*

I know the things I like to write about. I like to write about free exchange of culture, of mutual respect and fraternity with your fellow humans (which leads to themes of unity, unconditional love not only of people but of the world, and the gray area of what it means to protect those things without giving in to hate, indifference and intolerance. THE GRAY AREA IS WHERE I THRIVE.)

I like to write about intergenerational relationships (which leads to themes of obsolescence, changing of the guard, and how people, in general, not individuals, never really change. Like, there's For a Good Time graffiti on the walls at Pompeii. That is HILARIOUS.)

I write a lot about family, both born and found. (Everybody has a place and everybody is loved.) I write about mental illness and being queer (which all by itself leads to themes of not knowing your place in the world even if you have one. Frequently comes up against the previously mentioned theme)

So yeah. I don't know. My big WIP, the Aalee Rise series, is about a young woman on the cusp of adulthood going out into the world for the first time. It's her idealism vs reality. The other main characters in that cast are all foils re: various facets of societal structure and ideologies. One challenges her idea of government, another her idea of religion. She falls in love, her loyalties to her brother and parents are tested, she makes mistakes, she fights monsters and saves the world. A lot.

tldr; It's my sandbox and I just wanted to build castles in it. I don't really know if the castles will mean anything when I'm done. I hope they do.

3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it?

My greatest ambition is that I could ever write a hero as beloved as the heroes I read about growing up, figures that reminds not to give up hope, to get back up when we're down, that the dark times ahead of us will come to pass.

At best, if I've done that, I'll be ecstatic and satisfied.

At worst, as long as you had a good time, if you didn't throw the book across the room in disgust, I'll take it.

4. Would you be excited if people write fanfiction about your wip(s)?

YAAAAS. I would literally never read it because Im terrified of accidentally absorbing someone's ideas and making them my own bc Christ alive that's a legal nightmare, but yes that would make my life.

And you can have my firstborn if you send me fanart.

5. What’s your go-to writing beverage?

Tea. Really strong and sweet. I make a fresh quart each morning and usually go through it by the end of day.

6. Who is your favorite oc? Tell me about them!

OMG ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS. (it's Aalee.)

Aalee Dering is the eighteen-year-old protagonist of my Aalee Rise series.  When we meet her in volume one (Worldwalk) she and her twin brother are setting off on their coming-of-age journey around the country. Her people, the Noruahai, have defended humanity for generations from unearthly creatures called asmic, and if she wants to become a licensed Marshal like her famous mother (and wow, she really, really does) she'll have to prove herself on her Worldwalk.

Aalee thinks with her heart first and always. She loves beautiful things, and all things are beautiful to her. She's quick to cry and struggles with anger, as well as distraction; she has trouble keeping focus. Good for getting into trouble. Not so good when it comes to being a responsible adult.

It would probably be easier if she wasn't of two minds on every single decision she has to make. She empathises with everyone, which can be paralysing-- how can she fight someone whose point of view she gets?

7. Do you feel that mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey?

Mistakes are learning tools of life, darling. In writing they generally aren't the types that will destroy friendships, health, financial status, etc, which means they're generally easier to bounce back from. Unless you commit career suicide in some way...

8. Rank your ocs by their capability in a footchase (either running after or from smth, your choice)

1. Fall from the Aalee Rise series. He's a complicated human. Without getting into the context of the world he's from, he's hard to explain; but the short version is he's half-ghost so he can basically turn himself into the wind.

2. Rosie Frey from Color of the Stars but only when she's a lion. In her human form she's pretty normal.

3. Lynn Blythe (or any of the other vampires) from Echoes of Eden, because they're cheating cheaterfaces who use mystical vampy powers to be stronger and faster than humans

4. Sendmarshal Henley from the Aalee Rise series. Probably the fastest regular human. Imagine the most beautiful, tall, leggy black woman you can, all lean muscle and elegant grace, and now imagine her scooping you up and zipping out of danger with an easy smile on her face... *fans self* I stan.

5. When running headlong into danger to save someone? Aalee Dering. When running away? Frustratingly, satirically slow. She's one of those idiot heroes who stops to make sure everyone got away okay so Fall's always running back to grab her ("MOVE, IDIOT" "But that little old lady--" "FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS. MOVE.")

9. Does your wip have romance? tell me about it!! if not tell me about a friendship/important relationship in your wip!! MORE LENGTHY BLAH

Relationships are the driving force of my writing. How one loves or is loved by other people, how they relate and engage with others, is how one grows, in real life and in fiction. There are a number of relationships in all my series that I'm fond of for various reasons. (For instance, even though she cannot STAND him, I'm eager af to write Eden and Lynn's relationship in Echoes of Eden because of how complicated it is.)

And as a rule all of my characters are queer or questioning unless otherwise stated, and I ship everybody with basically everybody else, and almost everybody has a love story in their history. (at least, their parents certainly do because I am a gross vile romantic and these fuckers came from somewhere.)

That having been said, for the sake of brevity I'll stick with Aalee Rise and limit myself to the Big Three: Aalee and her brother Elles, Aalee and her best friend Norah, and Aalee and Fall.

FAMILY: Aalee and Elles are twins. Born together and never separated, which stands out in a world where families are broken up by chaotic circumstances and random death on a regular basis. Aalee is easily distracted and has difficulty communicating her thoughts, so she tends to act on impulse; Elles is forever the cool head and the hand grabbing her by the back of the shirt to stop her from walking into danger. And after eighteen years of this... he's tired of it. He loves his sister, but he longs to see the world on his own terms, walk his own path. And Aalee doesn't share that sentiment. Not only doesn't share it, but is blown away when it comes into play. Her partner in crime wants to break away, and she does not take it very well. The first volume (Worldwalk) explores how their relationship suffers, grows, and changes due to this break.

FRIEND: Aalee's best friend of ten years is Norah. They met as little girls in a monster-ravaged town; Norah was entertaining the youngest orphans with a story and Aalee joined in. The pair of them spent a long night keeping civilians from panicking while Marshals battled asmic beyond the walls of the bunker. They exchanged addresses and became penpals over the next few years, since both of their parents travelled and they were rarely in the same place at the same time. That changed suddenly when Norah lost her father. Since then, Norah's family and Aalee's have lived in the same town. Norah is her warm hand in the dark, her shoulder to cry on, the first person she tells any good news. for Norah, Aalee is the only person (at the beginning of the story, anyway) with whom she can be her real whole self. They love each other no matter what.

ROMANCE: And then there's Fall. Aalee meets Fall when she rescues him from being murdered in a back alley-- except, oops, turns out it was a sting operation to catch the killer because he's not actually the helpless filthy vagabond she assumed he was; he's actually a powerful Marshal who was on assignment. Stuck together for various reasons, he becomes a mentor to her on her worldwalk, while she blatantly digs into the mystery of who he is, which turns out to complicate their lives, the lives of their friends and families, randos they happens across, their enemies, and also God's. To say they fall in love with each other is an understatement of cosmic proportions. They choose each other.

10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings?

Yeah but I take the advice as intended; which is not, as most assume, kill your fave characters, but to get rid of that which does not work, even if you love it. That pearlescent line of dialogue, or that golden bit of allegory? Doesn't matter how much you love it and how proud of it you are, if it does. not. work. it HAS. TO. GO. (save it in a new file to reread when you feel down and scrap that shit from the main file.)

that said re: killing characters, in my youth I was very much of the George RedRum Martin camp of "KILL THEM ALL" but as Ive gotten older my main focal point has been "What purpose does their death serve?" Death is not the only sacrifice worth writing. So while I am not afraid to kill my characters, I do take the nature of their deaths in the writing very seriously. There has to be a point.

11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why?

WORLDBUILDING MANYEXCLAMATIONPOINTSGOHERE! Plotting is like the maths of writing. It's measurement, it's brickwork, it's demolition when the wall you put up last week is three feet too long and now you have to scrap it and start over. Vital. But not my favorite part.

Worldbuilding is the art. It's the music your OCs hum and the stories that they treasure and the faith that holds them up when the crap you throw at them might tear them down. It's the story behind the jacket they wear and it's the reason they nod to the altar when they enter a place of worship and it's the meaning of their names. It's the magic. How the world works, the little details that make it real to the reader because it's real for your characters, is my favorite part of writing.

[ploncc]

This is by no means a new or purely original thought, but I wonder how much of the anti/fanpol/'asshole fan' crowd didn't have older guidance on curating their media spaces when they were kids, or currently if they are kids (And yes, teenagers are kids. Even 16 year old me was still an absolute child, as was 16 y.o. anyone else). Like, as adult fans, when we write stuff that's explicit/mature, we do so under the assumption that the readers are going to be 18+ years old, or whatever our country's definition of legal adulthood is. We're not just assuming that the reader is going to be legally allowed to read erotica by their country's definitions, we're also assuming that the reader is going to have 18+ years of life and experiences under their belt. Again, 18+ years, by which I mean anywhere from literally only 18 to, yes, actually, 75 and beyond! And sure, this includes understanding policies like 'don't like, don't read' and 'your kink is not my kink' , how to use filters and tags (or to look up information that you don't understand, or ask), and how to block users, tags, stories, etc (or to look up how if you don't know, or ask). But it also includes assuming that the reader is an adult. As in, the reader is capable of accepting that experiences outside of their own exist, and of recognizing that certain media has different purposes than other media (i.e. entertainment vs education, comedy vs tragedy, blah blah blah), and of being able to either understand how people can enjoy or directly enjoying media that DOES NOT include characters that they are meant to project onto/see as more-or-less being themselves. This includes assuming that the reader has a certain level of knowledge about the world, and that if they're lacking in some certain area, such as, say, maybe not quite recognizing red flags for abusive relationships, that they are, within reason*, going to be able to research the topic more on their own if they feel the need to. This includes being able to draw strong boundaries between yourself and your experiences and your philosophies, and the characters, experiences, and philosophies that get presented in fiction. And if you're not an adult, even if you feel "old enough" to engage with sex and eroticism, there's still a metric fuck ton more that you might find in explicit/mature fics that could absolutely be traumatizing (or at the very least feel traumatizing) to read. And...if you decided that you were "old enough" and are suddenly confronted with something that is and/or feels traumatic, and if you didn't/don't have older guidance on how to curate your media spaces going forward and emotionally process what you just read or saw or listened to, then I think I can kind of understand why a lot of people turn to the extreme end of "NO ONE can write XYZ!!!" instead of, you know...taking responsibility for their media experiences. Because they were never taught. A kid that isn't being helped along might not understand that readers of a dark fic are expected to enjoy reading dark things directly, or are expected to disconnect themselves from the main character enough to enjoy the writing or plot or other such details of the fic, or are expected to leave. And an adult that never learned might not understand that the world can be made safer without them having to control every piece of it.

-

* I do not mean to imply that all adults everywhere at all times are capable of obtaining and understanding any information that they want. What I do mean is that many adults reading this are probably capable of going “hm, that thing I read doesn’t seem accurate/healthy/what have you, I’m gonna go look it up!” Abuse might not be the best example to get that point across, since it is one of those tricky bits of life that has a lot to do with context, but it is the example a lot of people reach for when it comes to fiction and the “oh won’t you think of the children” type of talking points. If you’re concerned about it, the adult thing is to go find more information. Not go “I’m scared!” and attack it with a pitch fork.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: I spent most of my childhood with my cousins. Or with my Barbies, since I’d play for hours. Did people consider you an odd child?: I wouldn’t say odd, no. I was just a quiet, shy kid. Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: Wow, no. It’s crazy to me how some people believe they remember being born. I’m like what? Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: No, not really. I have some memories from my childhood.

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: Probably simple. I just wanted to play Barbies and watch cartoons.

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: I have no idea. Kids are pretty imaginative, so possibly. What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: I can’t think of anything strange. Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: No. I mean I was able to read when I was 3, and reading and spelling has always been my thing, but I am no child prodigy. What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: I have no idea. What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: When I was really little I was obsessed with Barney. I also enjoyed Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Were you afraid of monsters?: I don’t think so, actually. Like I don’t remember being afraid of monsters under my bed or something. Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: No, I don’t believe so. Maybe I never really thought about it like that. Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? I was definitely quiet, but not artistic. Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: Yes, but I’m not like a big meat eater. I’m also very picky about it. If you do, what is your justification for it?: I don’t need to justify it. If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: I’d say marijuana, but we’re already on the way with that. Do you believe in the death penalty?: I’m on the fence. Did Mumia do it?: Did who do what? If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: I’m very thankful to have been born in Sweden, obviously. <<< How cool! I want to visit Sweden someday. As for me, I’m an American and I am happy with that. What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: Eh. Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: I think it should be. Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: No. What television news coverage do you detest the most?: I don’t watch a lot of news. I prefer to read the news online. What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Well, that can’t happen since he already served two terms. Wow, this is old. Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: *shrug* Who do you consider “American Heros”? There’s so many, for various reasons for their contributions. Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? I wouldn’t be able to put it back together, ha. Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: Not yell, but I comment aloud on stuff I watch sometimes. Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: Not me, personally, but my mom asked me to order a few things for her that she wanted to get my brother for Christmas. Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: I never thought of it that way. Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: No, I never do. Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: No. Sugar or Honey?: Sugar. What’s on your desk right now?: I don’t have a desk. How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: Maybe like 10 or 15. I keep up with them and clean our mailbox regularly, so it’s never too bad. Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: No, but how cool would that be. Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: Now what would give you that idea? San Francisco or New York City?: I’ve been to San Francisco several times and love it, but I’d love to visit New York City. What are your favorite color combinations?: I love pastel combos. Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: Giraffes. Do you enjoy night or day better?: Blah. Favorite animal: Dogs and giraffes. Have you ever been to a protest?: Nope. Aggravated a cop on purpose?: No. Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: No. If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: I’m fine with this one, but I’d love to be able to travel back to other periods. Ever put your hand through a window?: Yeah? List a few words you hate the sound of: The P word and the C word. I absolutely despise them. You won’t hear me say either one of them. And a few you like the sound of: Hmm. I don’t know. Are you sick of this survey yet? It’s fine. Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: No. Cutting?: Yes. Do you get violent when you are angry?: No. Which emotion are you most consumed by?: Sadness. Are you highly emotive?: Yeah. Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: I tend to keep to myself a lot, or down play things if I do decide to talk about it. Except for on here. Do you fall in love easily?: I fall easily. What age/year was the most difficult for you?: I feel like I’ve been going through it the past few years, and I thought things were hard before. It doesn’t compare to now. How do you channel your anger/sadness?: I cry. Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: No. Ever been homeless?: No. List a few simple things that make you happy: Coffee. When were you most recently your happiest?: Uhhhh. Do you consider yourself empathetic?: Yes. Friends Describe your best friend as if you were describing a character from a film: My best friend is my mom and she’s just awesome. Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: Yeah. List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: They’re smart and driven, unlike me. Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: I have a few on Facebook. Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: Yes. Are they mostly local or long distance?: Local. When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: I haven’t been out with friends in so long, but usually it’s out to eat or grab some coffee. Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: Yes. If yes, are you still friends with that person?: No. Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: My age and a year younger. Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: Ha, I’m the boring one. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: Groups. Small groups. Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: I don’t have any online friends. Family Are you close to your family?: Yes. What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: My mom’s sense of humor and love of reading. I wish I inherited her work ethic, her determination, her ambition, her drive, her ability to keep going when the going gets tough and push through...  What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: None. Does your family live locally or far away?: Most live locally. Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: No. We don’t see some family members much, but not because we stopped talking to them. It just happens cause life. Have either of your parents died?: No. Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: A bit of both. How many siblings do you have?: Two. Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: No. Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: I love the holidays. Do you look like your parents?: I’ve been told I look like my mom. List one interesting fact about your family: Hmm. I don’t know. Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight. Married/partnered?: Single. Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: Wow, no. That would be mean. Ever broken someones heart?: Yes. Not like to be spiteful, it just didn’t work out. I felt awful. How many serious relationships have you had?: None. Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: I wouldn’t say that, but I had really serious feelings for someone who I wanted to be with, and thought they wanted to be with me, too, but I was wrong. Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: I don’t know. Ever cheated?: No. Been cheated on?: No. Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope. Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: No. Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: I would like a caring, kind, patient, understanding, genuine person. Most important physical qualities?: That’s less important. Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: Coffee and Coke. Alcoholic beverage of choice: None. Foods you crave on a regular basis: Chicken tenders.

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: Salsa and chips. I think hummus is disgusting. Meat or Tofu?: Meat. Never had tofu, but it doesn’t look or sound appealing to me. Soup or Salad?: Salad. Soda or Juice?: Soda. Can I get you anything else?: You didn’t get me anything. Favorite candy:: Reese’s and white chocolate. Mmm, white chocolate Reese’s. ha. Favorite food to make: Top Ramen?

Food brand that you hate?: Uhh I don’t know. Do you try to buy all organic?: No. Favorite quick food?: Chicken tenders. Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: No. Ever yelled at an SUV?: No? A Hummer?: Nope? Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: Yes. I rarely had to because I usually really do feel crappy. If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: Oh so many things. Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo. List 3 things that are worrying you right now: Health, health, and health. It’s too fucking long, right?: It’s fine. Well, I’m just trying to help you pass the time.: Thanks. Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: I honestly can’t see that happening. Do you think there is life on other planets?: I don’t knowww. Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: My leg. Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: I’m a homebody, but I do venture out now and then ha. David Letterman or Jay Leno?: I liked Jay Leno when he was on. Last words?: Bye.

[lalka-laski]

Bored at work

r1.What is that thing that no one, not even your partner, your mother or your best friend, knows about you? I talk to myself when I’m alone. Like A LOT. 

2. What would make you feel embarrassed in public? Almost anything. I’m easily embarrassed. 

3. What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it? I’m a pushover for sure. I also overthink situations and needlessly worry. I work on all of these issues in therapy (though I should probably attend more regularly). 

4.What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it? I’m gonna say my greatest strength is my kindness and gentleness. And it’s developed from my desire to make other people feel how I’d like to feel. That’s it. 

5. What do you have to put up with in your life? How long have you been tolerating it? That’s strange wording. I was sexually assaulted as a child and as a teenager , so I’ve “had to put up with” that trauma. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD (partially related to those events), self-esteem issues, body image issues... 

6.If you could change your name what would your new name be? I love my name as it is. It suits me perfectly. 

7.If you could change your appearance, how would you decide to look? I’d be thinner with bigger breasts for sure. And I’d like thicker and longer hair on my head. 

8. What colour dominates your wardrobe? I’m partial to pastels and soft, feminine colors. But I wear a lot of black too. It’s slimming and I like how it contrasts with my blonde hair and pale complexion.

9.Which song do you sing only when you’re alone? What DON’T I sing is a more appropriate question... 

10. Who do you secretly envy? Why? At almost any other time in my life I’d have an immediate answer for this but you know what? I don’t envy anyone like that anymore. I like my life and the person I’ve become.

11. What do you really want? To lose the 50 lbs I’ve (semi recently) gained. And I’m working on it... 

12. What is the way you often sabotage yourself? I overindulge. I drink and eat too much or too little, I love too hard, I obsess like crazy. Take your pick! 

13.Who would you like to please the most? My parents and sisters, my partner.

14. What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be? I think generally people think I’m friendly and bubbly. 

15.What reoccurring dream do you have? What do you think is the message your subconscious is sending you through that dream? I have a few. I have a recurring dream that I have overdue library books, I’m late for class, I missed the bus home (never TO school), or that I cannot for the life of me remember my locker combination. It might be telling that most of my recurring dreams center around school... what that means exactly, who knows. 

16. What would you try now if you were sure you wouldn’t fail? Singing/composing music 

17. What was that thing you never tried because you were afraid of failure? See above. Among several other things. 

18.What was your greatest disappointment in life? Not sure if I’d categorize my trauma and abuse as “disappointments” but maybe those? Or I guess being cheated on was a major blow. 

19. As a kid, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up? An author or writer of some kind. That’s still the goal! 

20. What are you really good at? Writing

21. What can you do better? Writing 

22. What worries you the most when you think about your future? Losing my loved ones. Also, working in a fertility clinic has instilled in me many fears about my own ability to conceive, carry or raise a child. 

23.What really sucks in your life? Who has the power to change it? Blah blah blah....I don’t feel like answering this. 

24. What is your life really about? What is your purpose in life? Love, passion, goodness. My life is about creating, celebrating and sharing all of those things. 

25. What fear could wake you in the middle of the night? I have anxiety so that’s a very long list. 

26. What joy could wake you in the middle of the night? My sweetheart 

27.What are you grateful for? My loved ones. My angels. My health. All the opportunities I've been afforded throughout my life. The second chances I’ve been granted. My future.

28.What time of the day do you feel the most energetic? And what do you usually do in those moments? It really varies based on the day. And when I have a burst of energy, I tend to clean or organize something. 

29. If you knew you had only one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it? With my family, my boyfriend, my closest friends and my babies.

30. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Well, my favorite movie is Legally Blonde. I wouldn’t say I find it “touching” as it’s mostly just a fun, good-natured chick flick, but I do find it inspiring. Elle Woods is everything I aspire to be. 

31. If you could be a fictional character from a movie or a novel, who would you want to be? Why? How coincidental! I’d be Elle Woods because she’s smart and successful while never compromising her values. She’s friends with everyone she meets and she lives a deliciously PINK lifestyle. My dream! 

32.What are you really bad at? Sports or any kind of athletic activity, really. 

33.Who would you like to forgive and forget? I struggle with this question.. 

34. Do you often hear your inner voice? What does it usually tell you? I do. It often tells me to calm the fuck down. 

35. When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? Why were you crying? The other night I cried in bed reliving old memories that I should absolutely not fixate on. Bad habit. 

36. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? I’d like them to think I’m a nice person 

37.What’s your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it? My blonde hair is usually what gets noticed/commented on. And yes, I like it. 

38.If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you still want to have the same parents? Of course 

39.If you could go back in time and change things, how would you alter the last ten years? I’m truly in a place where I can say “I’d change nothing.” I love where I’m at in life and everything I’ve endured up until this point was necessary to get here. 

40. If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would that be? I’d be at home instead of at work right now filling out a pointless survey. (Ok, I actually love these. But I’d rather be filling it out from home....) 

41. What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? I’ll start my diet tomorrow. 

42. What do you think is missing in your life? I could use some more willpower and self-control. Working on it... 

43. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I already answered this. 

44. What type of person angers you the most? Bigots of any kind. Arrogant people, too! 

45. Who never fails to make you feel good about yourself? MY BABIES 

46. If you could start all over again, what would you want to study? I love my degree and I’m even considering grad school. 

47. Which type of intelligence do you wish you had: kinetic, visual, interpersonal, linguistic or mathematical? Linguistic 

48. What is your biggest pet peeves? Walking behind slow people in a store or other public place makes me wanna scream!! 

49. What was the one opportunity you always believed you’ve missed out on? Eh... I’m not sure. 

50. What do you like about yourself the most? My heart 

51. What do you regret the most? No regrets anymore

52. What is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever witnessed? Why did it affect you? I don’t care to elaborate 

53. What would you like most to be acknowledged for in your life? Being a kind person who made other people feel good. 

54. What is the first thought that usually crosses your mind the second you open your eyes in the morning? “It’s too early” 

55. What is that thing about yourself that you’re sick and tired of? My anxiety (although it’s definitely at the mildest it’s EVER been!), my lack of self-control when it comes to food

56. Who really depends on you? Why? No one *depends* on me that much. I have a lot of close relationships with people who lean on me for support when they need it, but I’m not anyone’s sole provider of anything. 

57. What was the main factor that played a role in your biggest mistake? I don’t really understand the question and I don’t think I even want to answer it anyways. 

58. What was the main factor that played a role in your biggest success? The support of my family

59. What childhood memory sizzles your heart? What does that even mean... lol. Is a sizzling heart a good thing or a bad thing? 

60. What was the most frustrating period in your creative life? The writer’s block that I’m currently suffering. It’s maddening. It’s depressing. I’m SICK of it! 

61. Do you love yourself? I’m getting there!

62. If you were your own life coach, how would you guide yourself? Well we are all our own life coaches, are we not?