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kithtaehyung · 10 months

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broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i've had time to make it something i'm proud of. trying to rush everything out didn't do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i'm sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: ...19.1k 🚶‍♀️

Words abandon you.

They stand far from your form, pitying observers of your decaying state in front of the man you’ve been lying to. At once, you feel completely alone, not even Yoongi’s lingering presence helping when those eyes are piercing through time and space. Everything you’ve experienced over the past two years slings across your vision, from the first time you left your house in the pouring rain to get to Yoongi’s, to the car ride back you just took with his kiss still on your lips.

All of those moments shattering into dust around your heels.

Your feet make lines in them when you move to close the front door, something leaving your mouth before you can judge if it makes sense, “About what?”

Zero sense. Absolute zero sense. Which your brother has absolute zero patience for. The drone in his question hits you like a punch to the gut, “Really.”

“Just out late, is all,” you grumble, trying your best to not acknowledge an atmosphere so tense it’s almost crowded. “Jimin had another party, remember?”

“Course I do.”

Huh? Wait. Why does he sound so—

“I was there.”

Dread launches up your veins, rocketing right to your heart in the middle of a pulse. He was there? You saw his car when Yoongi pulled up close to the house. He was there? When the fuck did he arrive? Oh, fuck, if he got there early enough… did he see you… and Yoongi…

No. There’s no way. Because one, Yoongi parked far down and around the corner. He made sure not to be close just in case you two could be spotted.

With a thought you really cannot afford right now, you also assume he stayed that distance just so that he could pin you against his car. Fucking hell, focus! Upping the strength of your resolve to match cardboard, you lamely stall in your hunt for clarification, “You were?”

“I was.”

The watch on his wrist glints in its twist. When aggravated veins stare back at you, it’s obvious your brother is on the edge. Because he is deathly calm. “So where’d you go?”

You blink, not having expelled a single breath since you stepped foot inside.

Does he not know? Or does he know and he’s just waiting for you to finally spill? With all the hope in the universe, you yearn for it to be the first one. Because you cannot deal with a fallout right now. Not right after what happened with Yoongi.

It’s just not the right time.

“Yuri’s,” you blurt, finally kicking into gear and strategizing how you’re gonna finesse this. “She came and got me.”

Your sibling just stands there, eyes a solid beam before he sighs at clasped wrists.

Here it comes. He’s gonna ask why you didn’t say anything. Like he always does because for some reason you’re still not a true adult to him and he has to keep tabs on you at all times and you can’t just sneak around with his best friend in peace—

“K.” Your eyes shake once. “Just tell me next time.”

And just like that, your brother vacates the foyer, dark dress shoes clacking as he retreats back into his room. Leaving you standing in silence.

All the words around you just as speechless.

Just like that, you’re gone again.

After watching you leave and wishing you didn’t have to, Yoongi shuts his door to rest ponderous thoughts on worn wood. Eyes closed and a storm on his mind’s horizon.

Just a little longer. He hopes you’ll understand. This is just something he needs. More than anything else.

Exhausted, he peels himself from the door, meandering through the bog of his living room. Trudge, trudge, trudge to the dining table, skirting fingers along the edge and noting that it feels different than before.

At least something in his apartment has changed for the better.

Who would’ve thought that table would witness both an end and a beginning. That it would see the worst and best of him. If it was ever called to stand, there’s no doubt that it could recite all his failures and shortcomings. But he hopes that it would also attest to how much he’s fucking tried.

As much as Yoongi wants to throw it out, he hasn’t. Because despite being withered to hell, all it needed to recover was the new company of a familiar face.

And a little bit of summer rain.

It watches as his thoughts move on, and soaks in the blues and pinks of sunrise as he crosses into the bedroom. At the feel of your lingering presence, Yoongi gnaws on his lip.

What the fuck does he do now? The moment you leave, he wants nothing more than to have you back in his bed. It’s the one fact that he has come to fully acknowledge. Because there are many times you’ve caught him slipping. But when you’re lost to your dreams? Visibly at peace and safe under his sheets? That’s when he can’t even think straight.

How your serenity throws him into disarray, Yoongi has no fucking clue.

But he can’t afford these feelings right now. Because how can he want you close while being the reason for this distance? Make it make sense. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite. Tsking, Yoongi once again accepts the consequences, heading to his bathroom before going back the fuck to sleep.

Lies. Who is he kidding? There’s no way his rest will be the same without you. Especially since he doesn’t know when he’ll get to see you next.

There is a way to remedy that. To put an end to your time apart. But Yoongi’s been so in his fucking head that it’s chaining him down and pulling taut. No matter how much he struggles, he can’t break free, and it’s driving him to the brink.

But last night? With you? Half moons mar his palms as he stands. Staring. Branding that whole memory into his heart.

After three months of questioning his existence.

All it took was your soft hums to give him a reason.

And you won’t ever know how much that meant to him. Not until Yoongi finally decides to tell you. Which will most likely be never. Maybe that’s why this time tears at his chest more than all the others. Maybe that’s why he stood in his doorway longer than usual. Maybe that’s why he can’t quite carry the weight in his chest.

Dumping himself on dark mountains—creations of his and your design—Yoongi buries his face in those valleys. Inhales those aromas like some hit he can live off of for however many days left he needs.

Desperately grasping for a fading world where only you two exist. Drifting. Dreaming. Disarmed by a vibration on his nightstand.

The fuck.

Who is texting him this early. There are only a few people he has notifications on for wait it’s probably you saying you’re home.

Peeling himself off the sheets with a groan, Yoongi simply shifts his upper body to reach for his phone, squinty-eyed as he checks his screen.

And he doesn’t see your name.

Dumbass: 1 New Message

But your brother’s.

What the hell does he—

Dumbass [07:30]: We need to talk.

…Shit.

Yoongi grips his phone in panic, ice water streaming through his veins and mind set ablaze with potential scenarios.

He’s awake. You went home. And he’s awake. Fuck, did anything happen? Did you say anything? What are the chances this text means he found everything out?

Shit.

Does Yoongi answer now? Or does he sleep and pretend that this is just a text and isn’t a problem at all? Think. Your brother may not even be referencing you, or him. Right? It could be something completely different.

Why can’t he fucking move?

Every regret Yoongi’s kept at bay floods his brain, crashing into assumptions of your mental state and creating a massive whirlpool of dread. Just answer. Don’t answer. Just answer. Don’t fucking answer. Suddenly, another alert lights his home screen and it’s a call oh fuck—wait… It’s Jungkook?

Why not. Sure. What’s one more issue.

Picking up, Yoongi runs hard fingers through his hair as he answers.

“Hey, you coming?”

“Huh?”

“We have that session in thirty.”

The what. The session? Oh, fuck. The session. Yoongi completely forgot they had a recording booked today because they were so hyped last night to get a date for the release party shit. Vacating his bed, Yoongi answers with a low, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Yeah, don’t be late. It’s those guys from before.”

Fuck, it’s that one. The dudes that stopped by the studio just as things were wrapping up, shocking everyone when they scheduled some time. Highly successful musicians and performers booking something with a no name studio? Things are rolling in the right direction and coming along fast.

But as things go. If they don’t take this shit seriously, everything can crash just as quickly.

“Heading out,” Yoongi finally says as he yanks a hoodie from his closet, and a loud vibration against his ear makes him flinch.

Dumbass [7:40]: Heading over

Fuck!

“You okay?”

“Shit, yeah.” Yoongi grips soft material before his phone hits his desk with a thump. Hastily dressing, he grunts, “Maybe. Might be like two minutes late.”

“Nah, come now.”

He’s heading over? Your brother? If that’s the case, there’s no way he doesn’t know.

Fuck, relax. Don’t overthink. If anything, there wouldn’t have even been a heads-up. Yoongi figures he’d just find out as soon as he’s thrown against a wall. Or the ground. Or right onto his coffee table that this very guy helped pick out. Shit, he needs to know but he doesn’t wanna find out.

But nevermind him. Are you okay? Swiping his device, Yoongi quickly types a text before fast-walking out of his room, going on autopilot when he assures into his receiver, “I’ll get there.”

Yoongi [7:42]: Going to the studio

“On time? You better!”

Goddamn, he’s juggling too much right now.

As Yoongi breaks into the dining room, he hears a rustling on the line before other voices jut through the speaker. Sounds like Hobi and Joon are already there, and the next thing said further spikes his stress level another peak,

“We’re already cutting it close with the prep.”

Fucking hell, the prep. The mics, the tracks, the setup. They forgot to do all of it. Something inside of him starts snarling and almost pounces through the phone, “Fuck, we should’ve been ready already.”

“Shit, I know.”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Dude, relax, I get it.”

“Do you? Cus this is… Fuck.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get it done but it’s gonna be tight. Hey, where’s the… Damn it, what’s it called?”

Frustrated and rummaging through his pantry, Yoongi knows he sure as hell didn’t think about anything else as soon as he heard you crying on the line. If he had remembered while leaving the studio, he could’ve spared a brain cell to rush everyone back in. “The what.”

“The… The overhead mic for the drums.”

Of course, he’d repeat every decision he made last night. Over, and over, and over again. But any of them should’ve remembered this step before leaving, which pisses him off. The studio’s lack of experience is showing and it’s making him nervous.

And Yoongi still doesn’t know what’s going on with his best friend.

“We need two overheads for drums,” he corrects while swiping a water bottle from the counter. And he’s about to rattle off where they are when he feels another long buzz.

Dumbass: Incoming Call

Of fucking course.

Mind whirring so hard he can feel steam, Yoongi quickly recalls where the mics are, “They’re somewhere in the back by the amps, but I gotta take this so I’ll see y’all there.”

“Wait, where are the—”

Nope. Kook’s just gonna have to figure out whatever he’s asking on his own. Switching calls, Yoongi answers while opening his door, hastily putting out the food and water he grabbed from the kitchen.

“Hey.” Fuck, is his voice shaking? What the hell is he gonna be faced with in the next few seconds? Can he freeze time and rewind and keep last night on repeat? “I’m about to head out.”

“Don’t leave yet, I’m coming.”

“No, just”—Yoongi dashes back inside before grabbing his wallet and keys from the bar—“You good? I can’t be late.”

“Don’t lie. Y’all are done, right?”

Don’t lie. Yoongi feels like hurling.

“We got another project,” he huffs as he meets sunrise again, blazing a trail through his corridor and rounding the corner to his car. “A band’s coming in for a session.”

“Shit.”

There’s a pause on the line. And it’s the first bit of silence Yoongi’s had since he got the first bone-chilling text. Is his secret safe? Are you okay? Should he work extra late and run from a problem yet again? He’s very good at that. Running. If there was a medal for distance ran from issues, he’d be on the podium for both gold and silver.

“Okay, fine.”

Relief is temporary. This could just be him biding his time in order to figure out what to do. Or maybe he truly doesn’t know what’s going on and Yoongi has a bit more uninterrupted time with you.

Delusion is a great place to stay.

In any case, his friend’s behavior is alarming. What’s he doing up this early? And why is he wanting to swing by so bad if not to slice him into tiny pieces? Nerves slow on the downslope, Yoongi shuts his car door and lends his ear, “But serious, are you okay?”

“I just… Tch. I can’t even say it.”

He lets his friend go through a series of small sounds on the line, pulling out of the lot and hitting the road with tire squeaks. “What’s up,” he finally pushes, looking sideways and remembering the car ride home.

There was no way Yoongi was gonna say no to you. He didn’t in this universe, and he’d bet his whole life he doesn’t in any other one, either. Not when your wings looked like you hadn’t used them in months.

Pained, Yoongi hopes you’re completely fine and sleeping. Tucked away in a bed that captured part of his heart, visiting him in your dreams so that some version of him can be at your side.

“Everything, Yoong.”

But, as it so starkly turns out, he has to deal with reality. And with the fact that you’re just as far away as you were before last night. Maybe even further out of reach.

So, so far away.

“There’s a ton of shit, but. Fuck. Guess we’ll have to wait.”

Right now, deal with the studio prep and get through the session that will probably take awhile. After that, meet up with your brother and hope to god he doesn’t know. “K.”

“Just lemme know when you get back.”

Then, when all of that is done, Yoongi will be alone. Staring into the night and trying his hardest not to give up on himself again. “Yeah, I will.”

“No running.”

“K.”

When the call ends, Yoongi lets out the harshest breath he’s ever let out in his life. Hoping you went right to sleep without dealing with any of that.

“How did that sound?”

Looking into the recording room, Yoongi raises a thumbs up as Hoseok clicks back to the beginning of the track. At their side, Namjoon hits a button on the console before speaking into a microphone, “Y’all wanna come hear it?”

“We can move on. Wanna get the doubling done.”

Huh? They’re gonna move onto vocal doubling already? With a few blinks, Yoongi think it’d be better if they—

“Okay!” Jungkook agrees from the couch, cutting out any other thoughts. “If any of you need adjustments, let us know.”

“Yeah, actually, can one of you come switch this out?”

Joon throws a suggestion over his shoulder, but Yoongi is already heading for the booth before his name is even mentioned.

Get everything done smooth. Stay disciplined. Be professional, goddamn it.

Entering the soundproofed room will always make him want to occupy the mic instead. That feeling hasn’t gone away, and there have been countless nights where he’s spent time just sitting in this very space, visualizing what it would be like to work on this side of the glass someday. Deep down, Yoongi knows he could be somebody. But imposter syndrome runs deep.

Avoiding cables strewn about the room, he offers his hands without a word, taking a guitar from the lead singer and making his leave—

“Hey.” He turns. “You’re good.”

What? Where the hell did that come from? Did he even hear this guy right or was he just daydreaming again? Yoongi’s so thrown he can only stare with question marks for eyes.

Amused, the singer simply points to the side of his beaming countenance. “You have an ear.”

Huh. How the hell can this dude tell? All Yoongi’s done is indicate if a recording take was good or not, and given a few minuscule suggestions to the keyboardist and guitarist—instruments he’s well-versed in.

Yet again, he’s so in his head that the man outright laughs, “Relax! You can talk to us like normal, you know. None of us care about etiquette shit.”

“Shit, my bad,” Yoongi finally responds, instrument in his hands proving a little lighter. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Swishing long bangs to the side, the performer rests a hand on his hip. “We’re open to anything. We’d just tell you if your opinion sucks.”

Eyes creasing with his lips, Yoongi puffs out a laugh.

“Kidding. Only a little.”

Even though these people are world-renowned, they’re the first humble group to run through the studio. Everyone else has been either cocky, standoffish, or super opinionated, which made for unproductive hours.

Yoongi likes this change of pace. His shoulders start to feel composed, less scrunched than they had been since you left his place this morning. Comforted, he looks down at the guitar in his fingers.

Choosing not to say what he wants to.

Should he? Nah. These guys know what they’re doing. Despite the nice offer to speak up, it’s not his place. Far from it.

…But what would you tell him to do? What would you be proud of?

Committed to his answer, Yoongi grips the neck and decides without another thought,

“Do the chorus again.”

The whole studio stills. But all he’s looking at is the man in front of him, shaking his head when they ask, “Same way?”

“Uhm. No.” As he hands the guitar back, Yoongi wordlessly checks if he can see the sheet music. When given the go-ahead, he scans the lines before pointing out a passage to note,

“Mm. Here. Vocals are fine as is, but. Ride the build-up quicker and hit the next chord after a bit longer.” When he stops, he has to fight to ignore the eyes on him. There’s no doubt that his extended time in the recording room is being questioned, and his hand movements probably make him look stupid. “It’ll keep in time but hit harder.”

Done. He said it.

And the response that follows puts complete silence to shame.

Instantly self-conscious, Yoongi swears he can hear Hobi’s pants shift in the control room through two closed doors shit he took it too far. Fuck, if these guys walk out now the studio is done for and he’ll be the only reason why—

“Well, goddamn. Let’s try that then.”

Huh. They’re gonna take that?

As he steps away, Yoongi feels slightly awkward doused in attention. Yeah, expressions seem like looks of approval, but they could just be polite.

The man hums the chorus with Yoongi’s notes in mind, and his eyebrows tick a bit before he addresses the others in the room, “You heard him?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Yeah, we can try that.”

“Why didn’t you think of that, Woosung?”

Yoongi can’t keep his amusement under wraps as the singer laughs, addressing his keyboardist with a grin, “Damn, not even Sammy? Straight to Woosung, huh.”

“Sammy would’ve thought of it.”

Another bout of mirth spreads joy around the recording booth, and Yoongi shares a look with the singer before they both nod.

“Let’s see how it sounds.”

“K.”

Proud and adrenaline-filled, he turns to walk back to the door, head so buzzed he doesn’t know what to do. But when Yoongi can’t see into the control room anymore, he misses a stare through the glass.

A stare that lingers on him just a little too long.

The rest of the session goes smooth, and Yoongi’s relieved that they haven’t asked him for anything else.

After all. He doesn’t wanna push it, or step on Jungkook’s toes. What happened in the recording room only went down because you would have scolded him for not seizing that moment. And the suggestion he gave was lauded after the next take.

It was the first time since you kissed him goodbye that he felt a healthy pulse in his chest. Despite the chaos of the morning, amid the thoughts and worries penetrating his brain, you reached out and kept him steady in just the right moment.

Fuck being his good luck charm. You give guardian angels shame and you don’t even know it.

“Okay, we’ll take ten after this.”

Jungkook holds up an arm while agreeing, “Okay! We’ll save what we got!”

Yoongi’s scanning the tracks when he feels hovering over his shoulder, and he already knows it’s the kid without looking. “Sup.”

“Nothing.”

“You sure.”

At this, Jungkook pauses before he sighs. “Yeah, it’s nothing,” he clearly lies.

But Yoongi will let him figure out whether to run with that or not. He seems a little bothered about something, and it very well could be what happened in the booth. This is work, and they’re both adults. If he wants to talk about something, Yoongi will gladly have that conversation.

Suddenly, a vibration erupts in his hoodie pocket, and his phone is fished out without him even thinking.

Hustler: Incoming C—

Shit. You wouldn’t call him at work unless it’s urgent. Which is quickly throwing any possible theories about your brother not knowing out the window.

But fuck, he can’t answer yet. There’s no way. Not only is he in very close range to someone you don’t wanna speak to right now, but he’d get blasted for being on his phone during a session. Hoping you can wait just two more minutes, Yoongi turns the buzzing off within his hoodie pocket, anxiously waiting for the take to start.

Hoping to everything that Jungkook didn’t happen to see what was on his screen.

As soon as everyone looks pleased—three takes and thirty minutes later—Yoongi quickly excuses himself from the control room. His head practically overheats on the way out back, but the gust of morning breeze serves to soothe it some.

It’s been chilly lately. A bit grey. But whatever the weather has been outside, it’s no match for the atmosphere of his brain.

Pulling his hood over hair he hasn’t cut in months, Yoongi looks around before ringing you up. Hoping that you’re good and didn’t have to go through a version of his panic earlier.

Hustler: Outgoing Call

Straight to voicemail? Shit.

Hustler: Outgoing Call

Fuck, still voicemail. Are you okay? On the phone with someone else? Did your brother actually end up finding out and things are worse than he thought? Clutching his phone, Yoongi glances up while giving it slight shakes, body on alert while deciding what the hell to do now.

Maybe he can at least text you to ask what the hell happened this morning? Typing. Erasing. Retyping. Retrying.

Yoongi [9:02]: Got a session today, doll.

That’s what he had to say? That won’t do you any good, the fuck? Berating himself with a sigh, he takes a few steps while texting a follow-up.

Yoongi [9:03]: Still going, but are you good?

Staring, it takes him a few seconds to decide if this is enough. If these two messages are gonna suffice to help him figure out what the hell he’s getting into later.

It’s not. There’s too much he needs to know.

Hustler: Outgoing Call

When it doesn’t ring a third time, Yoongi gives up, cursing before turning and raking his hood off in distress.

Only to see Woosung materializing out of nowhere—relaxed, silent, and taking a drag.

Shit. How much of that did he witness?

“Been there,” the man empathizes, blowing out smoke into crisp morning. After a swell of early traffic fills the alleyway, he continues, “In trouble?”

Great. With a sound of dejection, Yoongi answers to a stack of random boxes, “Might be.”

“Don’t wanna commit anymore?”

“I do,” Yoongi blurts without hesitation, looking right into eyes that have seen plenty more than he has.

And it’s the first time he’s admitted anything out loud. To a stranger miles above him in status, no less. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he clarifies, “It’s just… There’s something I need to do first.”

Wait a sec. Why the fuck is he talking about this so freely? This isn’t something he does. Privacy is practically his brand. So why is it easy to talk to this guy? It’s him, for fuck’s sake. But what’s done is done. Woosung probably won’t even remember this conversation even happened, or is already annoyed as hell he didn’t get a good read on him.

To Yoongi’s surprise, his alley companion speaks again after another white wisp. “Mmm… Something you need to do?”

Well. Yoongi walked right into this one. Swallowing and knowing he can’t dip out, he sighs, “Some shit I wanna finish.” The smell of tobacco wafts around him when he looks at dulled skies. “Shit I need to get through.”

An amused hum floats through empty space. “Been there, too.”

Yoongi slowly turns to regard his client, watching as Woosung becomes very interested in wet concrete.

What kind of shit has this guy seen? Surely, he could have had some of the same experiences. The slight droop in his confident shoulders tells enough. But would he understand the exact same situation?

No. At least, Yoongi hopes not. Quite fucking frankly, he hopes no one has had to go through the same shit that he has.

“Let me know if you ever need help,” Woosung offers, shocking Yoongi to the point of speechlessness. As he drops his cigarette to squash it out, he runs a hand through wild dark locks. “We’ll be around again.”

Wait. What? Yoongi can only blink. “Serious?”

“Yeah.” The man looks down the outside corridor, watching as people start heading to their jobs through a central courtyard. “Got a good feeling about this place.”

What does he mean by that. What can Woosung possibly mean by that what does he mean they’ll be back? To the studio? To the city? What’s happening. Yoongi simply lets a pause prevail before offering the only response he’s capable of,

“It’s the food next door, huh.”

That laugh has got to be top five in the world. Not as great as yours, but definitely up there in terms of what makes Yoongi feel like things are alright. Not that he’d ever admit that shit to anyone. Ever.

Mercifully, the conversation moves away from risky topics. Instead, there are talks about a tour one is planning for his band’s album, mixed in with mentions of equipment the other is saving up for. Then the rest isn’t about music at all.

Finally, it’s time for them to continue recording, so they know to head back inside. “Don’t wait,” Woosung advises as he turns on his heel.

And Yoongi can only stare somewhere else.

“If there’s something you need to get through...”

Stare, and stare, and stare some more.

“Hit it until it breaks.”

Because he’s already aware. More than anyone.

As Woosung shuts the back door, Yoongi’s gaze finds the crushed cigarette at his side. Another reminder of how things were.

And a reminder that he’s still a fucking coward.

Hours later, Yoongi’s car awaits him in the lot.

And when he realizes that you still haven’t responded, he shuts his door just a little too hard.

Whenever his friend comes over for drinks, it’s always the same routine.

Both of them don’t talk much, instead opting for a quiet greeting before someone dumps themselves on the couch while the other grabs a bottle and cups in the kitchen. As soon as glasses are filled, conversation sparks as a game plays out on tv—or a sportscasting show if nothing interesting is airing.

But this time? None of it happens that way. Because when Yoongi opens his door, he’s pinned with a shadowed visage he's only seen piercing through others.

And the whole arctic starts to seep into his bloodstream.

Raising a brow and giving space is his chosen course of action. Best to not disturb a beast if they’re already ready to lunge.

And his friend eyes him as he stalks into the house, scanning around in search of something—living room, dining table, even looking into the open doorway of the bedroom.

Fuck. Relax. Don’t assume anything until things are on the table. Yoongi has got to pretend like tonight is normal and fine and that he’s obviously and positively not seeing and sleeping with his friend’s little sister.

And that he most definitely didn’t eat you out where your brother is sitting now motherfucker he needs a drink. Or a smoke. Or both with a plane ticket out of the whole country.

At least the television is already on. If it wasn’t for that ambiance, Yoongi’s head would be jam packed with every goddamn sound known to man. Including the adorable way you talk in your sleep, and how you strain so beautifully when you come fuck, fuck, fuck! Focus.

What’s happened has happened. And what’s going to happen will happen. Whether it’s a consequence of his actions, or nothing to do with any of this at all.

But when faced with everything smushing together at once? Yoongi will probably need to be revived no matter what the outcome. This is the most stressed out he’s been in years.

Not only that, but his stress is more than obvious. Even now in the kitchen, he’s scanning through his bottles with a finger—an action he’s never done while sober since the choices are always predictable. Holy shit, he needs to pull it together.

Has he ever been this panicked? Does he appear just as chaotic and disjointed as he feels? This is too new. This is very new and if he doesn’t regain control there’s no telling where this foreign road leads.

But the silence still remains as he turns. And apparently the road hits a dead end at his dining table. Since it’s occupied rather than the living room sofa.

Sighing, Yoongi ambles to his friend, placing everything down with clinks and ignoring the way his furniture is getting burned through. Both whisky’s are ready. Yoongi’s already holding his. And your brother still hasn’t moved a muscle. Honestly, what the fuck is going on with—

“I went to Jimin’s last night.”

…What.

Don’t react. He’s staring. Don’t fucking react. Take a drink. A sip. Pick up the goddamn glass. Doing so, Yoongi slowly brings the liquid to his lips, not quite following his own instructions as he asks behind a barrier, “How was it.”

His question is met with a laugh that isn’t funny at all. The kind that drags a finger along the chalkboard of your soul. And the next question directed his way pulverizes Yoongi’s denial,

“Care to share what’s been going on?”

He’s sick. Beyond sick. The room is closing in and closing in too fucking fast. Shit shit shit. There’s no way he saw. No fucking way. He parked down the street he deliberately stopped as far away as possible and you saw your brother’s car in your driveway. Did he get there after you left? And didn’t see you while also not hearing from hi—

“Why her, Yoong? Hmm?”

Fuck!

Yoongi can’t feel the air in his lungs. Because there isn’t any. Just a barren wasteland of shriveled futures and cracks in the foundation of every relationship he’s had in his whole life. The millisecond before a crash and only his wheels spinning and spinning and spinning—

Your brother shoots out of the chair, making the glass in Yoongi’s palm feel infinitely more solid.

“I mean, fuck! After all the shit we’ve been through? You’re gonna go back to her?”

All the—shit, he can’t even—back to? Back to you? What does he mean by back to you? Does he know about the first ti—

Volcanic, the man interrogating paces beside the dining table. Back and forth, back and forth. A pause. Back and forth.

And Yoongi still feels frozen in time. Is this it? Is this when things come crashing down? Glass suspends in midair all around him; an orchestra trembles beneath his feet, waiting for the moment to rip into his rib cage with swift strokes and a flourish as he’s taken down.

“Can’t fucking believe you.”

When Yoongi finally chooses to speak, what comes out only feels like a horrible attempt more than anything else, “Listen, it’s my fau—”

“What, you just decided to fuck that bitch again? Couldn’t stay away?”

Oh, fuck that.

Wood scrapes into flooring as Yoongi vacates his chair, hard feet planted as he gets into the face of his best friend, his confidant, his day one. Only to speak so low only them two can hear, “How bout you use your fucking words already and I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah? Is that what you want?” They are only a breath apart. But no one’s going anywhere now. “Need me to spell it out for that fuckass brain of yours—”

“Say it—”

“Stop fucking your ex, dude!”

Yoongi’s back connects with the chair behind him, palms flinging back to brace himself through a jolt of pain. And his eyes go so wide they stretch at the edges.

…Motherfucker, what?

Your brother is not done in the slightest, but Yoongi can only stare as he’s being berated for something that is one-hundred percent news to him, too.

“Everyone was happy when you finally left. All of us. Only for you to go and, what, get back with her?”

Nothing makes sense. This isn’t about you? Yoongi’s heart can’t even reset to start beating again. Everything is coming as shock after shock and there’s no way he can keep up at this pace.

His ex? Her? Where the fuck did that come from and why the hell does he of all people think that’s actually true?

“If you’re gonna be with her, you can count me out.”

No. Never again. That would never, ever happen again. “The fuck are you even saying—”

“I’m not fucking joking, Yoong. If you’re seriously back with her then—”

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you heard, but I’m not.”

“So everything I heard was a lie?”

“Huh?”

“He told me!”

He—who? Who the fuck would say that? And when how what the fuck and why? Yoongi stares, chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Because he has a choice to make. Either he trudges into this lie and rubs sludge all over his bones, or he denies it like he wants because it’s not fucking true.

What the actual fuck. It’s already bad enough that someone sent this along the rumor mill. And it’s making him sick thinking about all the implications surrounding it. But it’s even worse that his best friend believes it so easily. He’s coming at him so quick without even asking if it’s true.

The only silver lining—the singular bright spot in this hellhole—is that he can use it as an out. An out to protect you from wrath and further fury from your older sibling because if you were the rumor? He’d be laid flat on his floor next to a broken dining set.

“You gonna say anything or what?”

Truthfully, Yoongi feels queasy knowing what he’s gonna do. But it’s for you. You, you, you. And for that, Yoongi will do anything.

Even if it kills him.

“No, I, umm…”

“No?”

Just hurry up and fucking do it.

Resigned, Yoongi lets the memories flood through. Every moment that’s haunted him from a distance charges forward as he surrenders to the pain of his past. “It’s—” Fuck, he can’t even begin to lie, head thundering, thundering, striking his heart in the rain. “I...”

His friend halts. Tense before his shoulders fall back to normal. “You what.”

What the fuck does Yoongi do? What can he say when his brain is only firing up to beg him to run? Technically, he doesn’t have to say anything. He really doesn’t. But he can deflect. It’s what he’s best at, after all. He’s been doing it to you and he will do it again.

In the most defeated voice he can muster, Yoongi comes up with something that will placate his friend while still prolonging this horrid fib, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“You sure?”

It’s true. More true than anything. “It’s over now.”

A century passes. Then another. Then another. Every piece of furniture waits in silence as the television seeps back into his ears.

Then his friend sighs, not looking back as he slumps into the same chair that you always occupy. And Yoongi hopes his sigh of conflicted relief isn’t witnessed.

Following suit, he rubs his lower back before taking his regular seat again, not giving any shits about waiting to drink.

His ex?

As his throat warms, Yoongi starts to harden the more memories keep crashing into each other like jagged waves fuck he really hates how she was brought into this he swears as soon as he figures out who said this he is going to—

“Sorry.” Haze shattered, he lifts his gaze. “I’m so fucking stressed and hearing that last night just…”

“It’s done.” Yoongi reaches for the thick bottle, pouring more into his glencairn. Wanting to talk about literally anything else, he diverts the conversation, “But something else is up with you so say it.”

It works. The man inhales deep, rubbing his face with weary hands. When he rests elbows on wood, he finally talks about other things clouding his mind,

“Work is shit,” he groans downward. “They’re having me travel again.”

“Domestic?”

“Yeah. But for longer. And I don’t…” Tapering off, he sits back, slowly playing with his glass. As if he doesn’t want to mention the next problem.

When he finally does, Yoongi wholeheartedly understands the hesitation, “I dunno know what’s going on with my sister.”

Oh. Fuck, how the hell does he respond? Keeping his cool, Yoongi just repeats the question, taking out his phone and pretending to check his screen. “Your sister?”

“Yeah.” A sigh is sandwiched between explanations. “The past few months, I feel like.. They haven’t really been themselves.”

A sudden crack splits him through.

“Not laughing. Not eating as much. Like even when they sound happy, I can tell it’s a front.. I don’t know.”

The clunk of his phone hits the table very hard.

No. No, no, no. Your texts have been so positive. So encouraging. Other than a few sad calls, you’ve been happy to hear from him just as he had been relieved to hear from you. Even in the car, you must’ve put your feelings lightly.

Your wings. You’ve been enduring all that? For him? Yoongi’s heart rears its head, snagging one of his breaths and slamming both lungs into the floor.

And hatred paints his heart another shade darker.

“They finally went out last night, but. Didn’t come back until this morning.” Running rigid hands through his head, the man looks so pained. So helpless. “Same clothes, dude.”

And Yoongi can only stare, feigning nonchalance but raging and tearing himself apart inside. “Mm.”

“I just… I know I suck at this, but. I don’t know what the hell to do. Or if I even do anything.” Your brother finally takes a swig, wincing at how much ethanol coats his tongue.

Relax, relax, relax. As much as he wants to erupt on himself right now, Yoongi has to stay calm.

Not like he doesn’t know how. That’s usually how he operates, anyway. It’s hard to tell he’s struggling unless you look deep enough. And almost no one thinks to do so because his surface is all they want.

But right now? He doesn’t think he can sequester this anger any longer. At him, his past, and his stupid present decisions.

“Like I tried to say something but I just.. I felt like if I push too hard, they’re gonna shut down even more. Ever since that fight with Kook, it’s like..”

Seeing an opening and keeping a neutral stance, Yoongi asks the most ironic question to date, “Are they seeing someone?”

At this, his friend shakes his head, eyes glued to dark amber liquid. When he answers, all the breaths in the world cut at once,

“I think she feels all alone.”

This hit is the strongest. Straight to the gut, breath stuttering and muscles clenching so hard they lock. It’s almost severe enough to affect how Yoongi feels around his eyes.

“And it sucks not knowing what to do.”

Yoongi’s heart lurches, deflating and slipping out of the crack in his chest. Piercing on the jagged edges before slumping down onto a table that continues to judge him.

You’re hurting. Your brother’s hurting. And it’s all his goddamn fault. Why can’t he just break free and admit shit? Why is he still haunted by the phantoms of his past? Why is he still so fucking weak? It’s clear that he hurt you. For months. You’ve been cheering for him that whole time while you’ve been visibly broken and it’s all because of his dumbass decision to—

“I’m heading out again.”

Yoongi raises his eyes. Because he can’t seem to move anything else. “When.”

Your older sibling takes a slower, more measured sip. Looking towards the channel playing in the living room, he answers, “After our game. Dinner Friday, game on Saturday, fly out Sunday.”

“Mm. We’ll still be here,” Yoongi assures, keeping things as normal and neutral as he can. “Just like last time.”

How ironic. How hypocritical. He hasn’t been there for you in the slightest so how the fuck can he say that with a straight face.

“Thanks. I know it’s a lot for y’all but..”

Not at all. Yoongi is more determined than ever to make everything up to you. It’s the least he can do after putting you through something he decided on the fly.

On the run.

“Don’t worry about that,” he vows into his drink. Honestly, if you’ve been having second thoughts about this whole thing, he doesn’t blame you. Absolutely doesn’t blame you if you realize you’re better than this. But Yoongi’s at least gonna apologize in every single way he can. As soon as he possibly can. “We got it.”

“K.” The man finishes his glass and goes to pour more. “Did I ever mention that she liked you?”

Now what— Coughing on whisky is a bitch and a half. Hitting his chest while both eyes squint from burn, Yoongi croaks out his exact thoughts, “What.”

At this, his friend finally breaks into his regular smile. Setting the bottle down with a hollow clunk, he points, “Don’t you fucking get any ideas. Jimin’s already on my shit list.” He scoffs out a laugh. “But it was obvious when we were younger.”

And Yoongi can only cough some more. He shakes his head through the sting, swallowing and trying to compose himself. He doesn’t know where the hell that came from, but he hopes your brother will understand when all is said and done. Even though he’s been the reason you’ve been so…

Yoongi almost fucking confesses.

“You’re a good person,” he blurts instead. Whether the guilt or last cough pushed it out, that’s still on the table. “You don’t suck at what you think you do.”

“You think so?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

The hell? Does this dude really not see how successful he is? How much he’s overcome and conquered and sacrificed? Truthfully, Yoongi wouldn’t be where he is today if not for your brother. Him. Jimin. You. Anybody. Which is what makes this ongoing betrayal…

Unprecedented.

“You’re the best out of all of us.”

Your brother finally looks at him, though Yoongi isn’t doing the same. But he can still tell when a fist is held out for him to bump, so he does.

And they both share a drink in respectful silence.

After a moment of them watching the tv, the man finally sighs. “Guess we did shape up pretty nice.” When he’s agreed with, he keeps going with a grin. “We were so fucking bad.”

Yoongi can only chuckle, much better memories fighting off the terrors. “Old me was a little shit.”

“You still are.”

“Says you!”

“I still am, too!”

Laughs precede big swigs of whisky and comfortable quiet. Bit by bit, shoulders start to relax with the surrounding air, and Yoongi lazily releases tension in his neck.

After a few more pours, your brother decides to call it, using the bathroom before announcing that he’s gonna head out. Yoongi gets up from his chair to clasp hands goodbye, not expecting to hear one more plea,

“Break up with her, Yoong.”

Shit. He sighs, and their conversation continues from the dining table to the front door. “It’s not like that.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s over now.”

“For good?” As they stop beside the coat closet, your brother pins him with a look. “I was about to drive over and break down the door.”

Even though Yoongi shares a tsk with him, he can’t help but imagine what could’ve happened if that was the case. And it sends an unwanted jolt of chills.

“Serious. I’m gonna keep saying this, but. she was just making you miserable, dude.” He slips on his shoes, smacking his foot on the ground to push one in place. “I’m sure it was good at first, but I mean… You gotta move on. You deserve better than that.”

Anything would be better than that. Yoongi just disagrees with the whole deserving part. “I guess.”

“You sure it’s over?”

“Yeah,” he assures, because that is something he intends to keep true forever. “It is.”

“Good.” Keys jingling, your sibling then points into the open area with his whole arm, seven words leaving his mouth like ice,

“Then get rid of that fucking guitar.”

Ah. Among all the things. Of course he would bring that up, too. Jaw working, Yoongi looks away, now assaulted by all the torturous thoughts surrounding that painful reminder and fighting them off with no success.

Get rid of it? He’s been trying.

For three. Fucking. Months.

“I might.”

“…K.”

And his best friend departs, leaving Yoongi inside and staring at the same black spot he’s kept in the corner for years. It has mocked him as he struggles. Laughed at him whenever he’s tried to throw it out. And aside from the times he’s made you feel better stinging himself on those strings, he has accomplished nothing except letting it win.

Pissed off and doused in guilt, Yoongi yanks himself away from the door, the instrument, and everything else except for his bed.

Keeping his shadow exactly where it stands.

Yoongi knows he needs to talk to you.

But his phone exists somewhere on the other side of his bedroom door.

And he doesn’t have the strength to go get it.

What time is it?

All that greets him is darkness.

Nothing new, but darkness all the same.

Why was she mentioned? What does that mean?

He needs to call you. He’s lying to his best friend.

Her? You. His sheets still smell like you.

Inhale. Breathe. Inhale.

He needs to call you. But he’s so, so tired.

And the darkness pulls him back under.

Without even telling him the time.

Buzzing.

Faint, gentle buzzing softly lifts Yoongi’s eyelids before a loud series of smacks causes him to rush out of bed what the fuck?

Oh. His phone fell outside. Fucking hell, his heart’s beating way too quick for that to be the only thing that happened.

Head in his hands, Yoongi sighs deep before making his way to the dining table. And it takes all of his strength to bend down to reach for his phone.

Hustler: Missed Calls (6)

Dumbass: 1 Message

Hustler: 3 Messages

Chim: 7 Messages

Chim: Missed Calls (3)

Holy fuck.

With only the light of his phone illuminating the dark, Yoongi rings Jimin up. His heart’s a little disappointed it wasn’t you calling just now, but it’s probably best to stay away while his brain is so scattered and torn.

“Oh, fuck. There you are.”

“Mm.”

“Don’t scare me like that, bro. I was starting to get ready to drive over—”

“It’s fine,” he juts in. “What’s up.”

Alright, maybe he shouldn’t be an asshole. There’s no reason to let his lingering shadow from earlier control his temper now. Jimin’s just being himself, for fuck’s sake.

“I, umm. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

Now that’s not what Yoongi expected at all. “For what?”

There’s another pause on the line, and his reaction is immediate when he knows for a fact Jimin is fighting back tears.

“I… I got so drunk last night, I—And I—”

Shit. A sinking feeling starts to weigh Yoongi down, his center pulling the rest of him in like a black hole. And he doesn’t need to hear the rest of this to know what this call is about.

“He was looking for her, Yoong, and you weren’t there, either. He had this look, I—I couldn’t think of anything else to say in the moment and I told him—”

Jimin can’t even finish his confession. And it hits right in the gut.

Despite his perceived persona, Yoongi doesn’t like hearing people cry. At least, if they don’t deserve to or don’t deserve to be sad—or if they’re you. He could care less about the rest.

But Jimin is one of the only people that can get him like this: eyes stinging at their edges and his chest concave. In the dark, though, no one can tell. No one can see him.

So he can openly swipe at his eyes before dumping tired limbs into a chair, catching his forehead in a damp palm.

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”

Exhaling through his nose, Yoongi tries his best to calm his emotions. Because they are still raging and it’s going to take all of him to quell this tempest.

Jimin knows more than anyone what this means to him. To you. The time you spent apart? If it wasn’t for his friend, Yoongi may have been in a much different position. If this was the only thing Park could do, then his effort has to be acknowledged. It worked like a fucking charm.

But goddamn, Yoongi wishes Jimin thought of literally anything else. He could’ve made up some random, some fling from another city, the damn studio itself.

“Don’t worry about it,” he finally rasps out. “It’s just been a fuckin’ day.”

Jimin sniffles before cursing at himself and, judging by the sounds on the line, Yoongi figures he’s opening his fridge. If he reaches for soju, that would not be surprising in the least, and now that sounds like a good idea.

“Same. Gah, I just… I should’ve warned you. I didn’t know he went over there.”

“He told you?”

“I called him after you didn’t answer earlier.”

“Oh. Yeah, I passed out after he left.”

“Ah.”

Something shuts before there’s a crisp clink on the line, validating exactly what Yoongi was thinking.

“I really am sorry. What did you end up saying?”

“That it’s done.”

A hum.

“That’s very true.”

There’s a question that Yoongi thinks to ask. Context that he needs. But as important as this information is, Yoongi doesn’t feel like talking about it right now. Or ever. But now still counts. So he switches the conversation over to something less daunting, “Practice still on tomorrow?”

When Jimin laughs out of surprise, it gives Yoongi the smallest kick of energy.

“Ah, someone actually ready to go for once?”

“Yeah. The plan is to make this game quick.”

A hearty swallow spills out of the speaker before a hum follows,

“Mm, that reminds me. Got something that might help with that.”

What the hell does that even mean? “Huh?”

“I’ll bring it over tomorrow. You might find some good uses for it.”

Yoongi rubs the grogginess still clinging to his face. “All these years and you’ve never given me a straight answer.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Knowing the answer.”

At least Jimin’s back in a good mood. Or a better state than puffy-eyed and regretful. He doesn’t have to share the pain in this, too. It was an honest mistake.

“You’ll know it when you see it.”

“Annoying.”

“Love you, too!”

Yoongi’s huff billows through his nose, and Jimin’s energy almost brings enough strength for him to clear the table.

Ehh. He’ll leave it alone. He’s been pretty good at that lately, too, no matter how early or late it is in the night. What time even is it? Checking his phone, Yoongi’s brows crease when he figures that out. Why the hell are they even on a call right now? “Wait, is it really three?”

“Huh? Yeah. I’m telling you, dude, I was getting worried.”

He was really about to drive over? “Sorry. I really did just pass out.”

“Mm. Well, I’m gonna go do that now.”

“K. Same time tomorrow?”

“Ah, a little earlier. Just so I can give this to you before everyone else shows.”

That just makes Yoongi infinitely more curious. “Seriously, what did you get?”

“Relax! You will like it.”

“Chim, I swear—”

“You’ll thank me later bye!”

As soon as Jimin disappears from the line, Yoongi is left alone again.

Exactly where he always ends up.

Exactly where he doesn’t want to be.

But now that he’s done dealing with those notifications, Yoongi roams lidded eyes over his screen again.

Wait. You called him six times? Fuck. What did you text? Were you wondering where he was, too?

Hustler [20:01]: HOLY FUCK!! my phone died after i tried calling you this morning and i just fully woke up to charge it😭 he’s not home so call whenever

Yoongi clutches his phone a little tighter.

He very much would’ve rather been in your bed with you all day.

That sounds like fucking bliss.

Hustler [23:37]: tried calling but he’s home now. are you ok?? idk what’s going on with him but i think we need to be careful

Shit, Yoongi didn’t get to tell you. You’ve probably been worried about that every second you’ve been awake today.

And he couldn’t even make it out of his goddamn room to help.

All he comes with is worries for you. What kind of shit is this? What is he even doing? He even outright told you that you were dating only for that to be ripped from your hands for months. Why are you still giving someone like him a chance?

Hustler [23:40]: but all i wanna do is see you

Fucking hell.

Nothing in the world can stop his heartbeat quite like you can. With that smile, or those eyes, or the simple shit like this. Not even lightning can strike him the same way.

Despite the consistency Yoongi has with admitting his own shortcomings, and despite the way he keeps reminding himself he doesn’t deserve you…

All he wants to do is see you, too.

You’ve been more than he ever would’ve imagined—your consideration, your intellect, your mind. And there have been times when you’d look at him as if he was the center of your galaxy.

After all this time. All these days and nights.

You still don’t realize that he was destined to orbit you.

It’s been decided long before his mind was made up—at least, the part of him that doesn’t traverse the dark side. His heart had been tugging him to you ever since that rainy day, no matter where he’s drifted or which direction he’s gone in. All of them lead back into your arms.

But just like the feeling he gets walking into the recording booth, imposter syndrome eats him alive and doubt scavenges on what’s left.

He will never be good enough for you. One of these days, you will realize that you don’t have to settle for him. It’s good now, but you’ll only give him so many chances, which he is swiftly running through at breakneck speeds.

How fucking stupid. Having these thoughts while wanting nothing more than to hear your voice.

Just like everyone else, you’ll eventually be done passing through. His winter will return after your inevitable departure, all the warmth you give focused on something else that deserves it more.

Something that isn’t broken.

Yoongi whips his head up at the sound of buzzing, noticing thin lines of light beneath his phone on the table.

What. No way.

From the rapid beats inside his chest, he shoots his hopes right into the dark.

And they burst into beautiful sparks when he reads his screen.

Hustler: Incoming Call

But just like the streaks of color he witnessed with you on that balcony, his brightness is short lived. Because as soon as Yoongi answers, the way your throat constricts scorches his windpipe through.

And the first thing you attempt to get through makes his eyes shut tight.

“Are we… is this over?”

Fuck.

“I get it, if we are. If you—if you don’t wanna do this with me anymore.”

Fuck. Fuck everything this is not happening right now. “Hold up,” Yoongi breathes, body on full alert. “What’s going on?”

“I thought… When you weren’t picking up, I—”

“Breathe, babe,” Yoongi softens, hating, hating, hating himself all over again. “I passed out before you called. That’s it.”

“Oh. Shit, I really thought—”

“You would know,” he whooshes, syllables squeezed out by the mountain of regret on his back. After hearing what he put you through? Hearing how you sound now? There’s no way he can do that shit again. No more disappearing from the grid because he can’t fight himself. “You would know if I was done.”

Your sniffle sinks the ship with his heart inside.

“Are you? With me?”

Yoongi folds, fingers digging through his hair and blocking it in hard chunks. The amount of things he wants to say to you could wrap the whole world before repeating. But he settles with a truth he can say out loud,

“No way in hell, doll.”

Please. Don’t cry. Because he can only handle feeling his eyes sting so much in one night. There’s only so much he can take before he’s grabbing his keys and speeding over—friends and brothers be damned.

“Okay… I’m just. It’s been a day.”

That’s okay.

Because he’s had a day, too.

“I don’t wanna bother you with it, though, it’s so late.”

Please keep going.

Please don’t leave him alone.

“Talk to me.”

Like a gentle stream, your recap—though not ideal—washes away the weariness from Yoongi’s eyes. Lifts the weight he bears on his shoulders, even if just a little bit.

You’re so good at that.

“Well. Umm. He saw me coming home this morning. And, umm. It was weird. I don’t know why but I think we have to be really careful. And ugh, it—. It sucks because he’s going on a trip soon and I don’t wanna stress him out even more but I—”

Shit, you’ve probably been holding all of this in ever since you got up. You don’t know that your brother believes something entirely different. But of course you’d be considerate, even now. That’s just who you are.

“I, umm. I feel so fucking bad about it but I don’t wanna mess him up right now. Or maybe he knows but just won’t say it? Fuck, sorry, I’m trying not—to—”

The phone goes mute, and Yoongi’s head suddenly weighs ten times heavier.

“He doesn’t know, babe,” he soothes, hating how he can’t be there to comfort you with more than his word and waves in the sky.

If he was stronger, things could be different by now. Vastly different. Vastly better. You would cry less, he knows that for damn sure. Weak, weak, weak. That’s all he fucking is.

The only one he seems to be strong for is you. “He came over earlier.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah.”

You pause, seemingly to roll this information around that beautiful mouth of yours, and Yoongi has the strongest yearning to kiss all your worries right out of it.

“What did he say?”

Shit. You’ll just have to forgive him later. Because Yoongi chooses not to tell the whole truth. You don’t need to bear the same worries as him, anyway. They aren’t yours. He will shoulder all of those on his own. Because he’s the reason for them in the first place. “Nothing about us.”

“Oh, thank fuck.”

Good. Your relief is all that matters. But Yoongi still feels bad for not being able to pick himself up. You could’ve known that a lot sooner if he was stronger. If he was better. “So don’t worry, doll.”

“Okay. What about you? Are you okay?”

Huh? Your questions catch him completely off-guard. It’s almost comical how his first reaction goes straight to a No. But sticking to his earlier stances, he won’t bother you with any of that. There is a truth that he can admit. One that’s always true and will continue to be so. “Just wanna see you.”

And this is when his eyes slowly shut. Don’t. Don’t cry.

“Me, too, baby.”

Hearing that? Chipped and broken from your lips? That is another thing Yoongi can’t handle. His heart beats once before it free falls, and he clutches his phone just a little tighter.

Fuck everything. He’s gonna find a way to do this. All of it.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“You will?”

He’ll figure out how to move mountains to make it up to both you and your brother.

“Just a little longer.”

He has to.

“Okay.”

Neither of you deserve this. And he doesn’t deserve either of you. Truly, the only thing he deserves is to be alone. And judging by the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time before you start resenting this behavior and leave, too.

“Thank you.”

What? Something in Yoongi flickers, and he lifts his whole head to eye his screen.

“For putting up with me.”

Oh. Of course you’d assume you’re the issue. Seems like you need the same type of assurance that he does. Both of you the same? Who would’ve thought his bruised soul would sync up with a perfect one like yours.

At this, he holds his breath before chuckling soft. “This has been the highlight of my day, doll,” he admits, finally breaking into a tiny smile and sitting back.

“Really?”

Wait. There was another good part of his day. But he wants to save that for when he can tell you in person. “One of them. But you’ll hear about the other one later.”

“Boo.”

Cute. Wait, isn’t it absurdly late? You have to be up for work in mere hours. It’s a miracle you reached out when you did. “Don’t you have to be up soon?”

“A ha… Yeah.”

“What are you still talking to me for?”

“I miss you.”

Well. That’s not something that he expected. And your admittance being so immediate actually sends shivers down his arms.

Yoongi can only laugh to himself. He knew he had it bad, but this feeling is something else. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Miss you? Yeah, right.”

God. You’re getting too fucking good at this. He’s gotta fight back or else his throne will be taken before he even sees you again. “Just a bad night to say it, doll.”

“Why?”

Perfect. “Cus I’m willing to get in the car.”

“Fuck.”

Yoongi happily lets his mouth slant when you groan, chuckling into the receiver and getting up to clear the table. When he flicks on the kitchen light, he doubles down, “Wanna try again?”

He knows you’re gonna say no. Even though your brother doesn’t know, it’s definitely not a proper time to sneak you out—as much as he fucking wants to. Fuck, to be the one sneaking you out of your house… Maybe there’s another version of you both out there that’s done it. A version of him watching a version of you creeping out to his car, face shining in nightfall and etching a permanent smile into his heart.

“I hate you.”

Yoongi should’ve expected that. The sudden laugh that flings out into his liquor cabinet ricochets off multiple bottles, and he shuts it while sporting a wide grin. “That’s better.”

“Ha ha.”

You’re smiling, too. Cute ass. Just the fact that he knows makes him excited for the future, and he’s determined to make it count. Make it worth it. You deserve every goddamn apology he can give. “I miss you, too, babe,” he whispers, grabbing the glasses from the table to wash in his sink.

“Nu uh! You hate me, too.”

Wait. Did you…

Did you just pout?

Hell no, that’s outright cheating. That’s when Yoongi will never be able to win. Putting the phone down, he promptly states his new plan into a basin, “Nah, I’m going to sleep.”

“Wait, huh? Why!”

“Nothing.”

“I swear to god—”

“Nothing at all,” Yoongi lies, voice straight as he can muster while hot water runs over his hands. It’s a good kind of sting as his chilled skin adjusts, and he cleans one glass before he hears you ask in his ear,

“Getting ready for bed? Or are you in the kitchen?”

The smallest smile graces his face. “Guess.”

“Kitchen.”

The hell? “How’d you know?”

“You’re always in there.”

Can’t deny that. The glasses are both set to dry in the dishwasher as Yoongi’s amusement dies down, and his next comment flows out before he can think much of it, “You like to keep me in here.”

“It does seem to be where we end up, huh?”

“It does.” Which is fine by him. He’ll never forget all the times you’ve been in here. Your laughter and your storms, he will remember them all.

“The world said let them cook.”

Your giggles will be the fucking end of him one day. Fuck, he can’t wait to see you. He may even find a way to see you before the game.

But for now, Yoongi will figure out how to talk to you, every day, no matter what. Texts, calls, whatever the fuck. The effort has got to show from now on. No more of this dark headspace shit. He needs to try harder and figure it out faster. For you.

“Go to sleep, doll,” he huffs with full cheeks.

After another adorable batch of sounds, you rustle on the line before sighing,

“You better sleep, too.”

“I will.”

With a blink, Yoongi notices two things. One, he just cleared his table and cleaned up without even thinking. And two, despite feeling like absolute shit the entire day and dreading the coming of night, falling asleep won’t be an issue.

Because of you. It’s always you.

Maybe there’s a way out. Maybe he can finally face it all and come out on the other side. “Talk to you tomorrow, babe.”

“I’d like that. And you’re sure he doesn’t know?”

Just like that, the demons are knocking again. Closing his eyes, Yoongi murmurs into the receiver, “I’m sure.”

There will come a time when he will tell you. But that will be way in the future, when he is ready. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he’s telling the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough for it to calm your nerves.

“Okay. Good night, baby.”

One more heartbeat to get him through the night.

“Night, doll.”

When the phone cuts, Yoongi’s hand falls, his stare shifting straight to the living room.

Right towards the corner that stares back.

It’s been five days.

But it feels like you’ve aged twenty-eight years.

Ever since your brother confronted you—after your much needed reunion with his best friend—you’ve been floating through time. Lost. Confused. Wondering why that conversation went the way it did and gnawing at your sanity bit by bit.

And even though Yoongi explicitly told you he didn’t say anything concerning your relationship, you still haven’t shaken that feeling. No matter where you are, who you’re with, or on a pretty Friday like this one, you feel… Strange.

When you saw your brother waiting, you for sure thought you were gonna get grilled. It was a given you were gonna break as soon as he started asking deeper and more specific questions. The fallout was gonna happen in your own house right at your door.

…So what in the fuck was that?

You shift your legs, the chill of the office failing to comfort you in your manufactured, building distress.

Somehow, that version of the conversation proved much, much worse. Because now you’re spiraling trying to figure out why he just took your lie as the truth. Truthfully, you feel nauseous. And as much as you need to get some semblance of closure, you still feel hesitant. Because if he’s just biding time? He’s not just thinking about what to do with you.

He’s thinking about what to do with Yoongi, too.

This is so hard.

The only thing—the only thing—keeping you grounded. Is Yoongi himself.

Ever since the call you never thought he’d answer, you’ve been contacted every night. What was once days of radio silence quickly shifted to him reaching out however he could, hours of the day be damned. Just last night, in fact, Yoongi sent you texts at four in the morning, and you beam just thinking about what he said so casually.

Yoongi [3:57am]: That keyboard I told you about is fucking dope. Just got it today and it won’t let me sleep lmaooo

Yoongi [3:58am]: I was gonna say sorry for texting but fuck it you’re getting all the updates :)

No matter what it is, be it a text, call, or video chat, Yoongi seems fully committed and in the moment. Present. And it’s been… Really nice. If you didn’t have your brother’s shadow hovering over your brain, life would be practically perfect.

Forcing yourself to actually work, you manage to get some small things done. Even the meeting you attend goes smoothly and you leave any outside worries on the other side of those glass walls.

So when you get back to your desk, an awaiting paper bag makes you pause. And your whole body prepares to weep.

Only one person has ever sent you food while you’re at work. And staring inside the parcel, you would’ve been able to tell who it was from even if said person had never sent any before.

There’s a small note on top of a to-go container—one that you immediately recognize as that super good restaurant next to Jungkook’s studio.

What the hell? How did Yoongi know you wanted some this whole week but didn’t wanna risk being so close? With careful fingers, you pluck the tiny paper from the bag, opening it with care before your eyes get so teary eyed you can’t even read.

Tonight.

This man.

I got the next one.

This wonderful, charming man.

But you’re getting what I need so here’s the list:

Goddamn it, Min Yoongi.

Seeing an actual list of food squeezes a laugh through your throat in a squeak, tears rushing out of your ducts before they’re hastily swiped.

After five days. Yoongi really just sent you on a grocery run to surprise you with another meetup.

The gesture is so him that you cannot help but shake your head, ruefully huffing to no one and pocketing the note in your bag. And all your worries scatter even further.

A dinner before the big game is risky, for sure, but at this point you couldn’t care less. Your brother has his own work outing tonight, anyway, and you are dead set on breaking all of this to him soon.

Even though you are very much unprepared. And he is going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t know already. Fuck.

You’ve had all five days to think it over. All the possible combinations and possibilities and outcomes. Some of them are extreme, some of them are hopeful. But for a majority of these projections, you have a feeling that none of you are gonna leave it without wounds.

And you don’t know how you’re gonna save both of them if theirs are cut too deep.

Regardless, that’s in the future. Not now. Right now, you are staying in the present and working like molasses until you can jet out the door, nary a care nor concern weighing on your heels.

Tonight. He’s gonna cook for you?

You’ll have the first substantial meal you’ve had in months.

Even though you want nothing more than to see Yoongi, your nerves are still buzzing and bumping into each other nonstop. There’s a lot you still need to know. Like why he was radio silent for months, and why your brother has been a little weird this whole week.

Save it for later. Hopefully Yoongi will tell you why eventually. Or that gap will stay elusive to your brain forever.

Sliding into your car, you dump your bag in the passenger seat before pulling out the list, clutching it close and taking a leap that could either calm your nerves or spike them.

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

When he picks up, you legitimately don’t answer. Because even after all this time, you still can’t quite function when you hear that deep voice addressing you directly.

“Hey.”

All you have to do is say something. Anything. You could rattle off the damn list, stumbling over all the syllables just like they’re currently smushed together in your fingers.

But you don’t snap out of this trance until he speaks again.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” you squeak out, clearing your throat while watching other people walk to their cars. “Hi, sorry. I just umm.”

You just what? Somehow lost all sense of language just from him saying hi? Get it together. Stop that racket in your stomach and say what you were gonna say. “Thank you for the food. I’m off work now so I’m heading to the store.”

He simply huffs a quiet laugh.

“Get whatever you want, too. Just let me know how much it is.”

Huh. Did Yoongi just say all those words in that order? If you heard him right, forget the damn food. You’re close to speeding directly to his place and breaking down the motherfucking door. “Oh, I definitely will,” you respond with instead of hauling ass, the words pushing through your lingering smile. “And don’t worry about that, I got it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah! I got big girl money now.”

Yoongi laughs again on the line, fuller and closer this time. Are you on speaker?

“It’s like that? Maybe I should work there, too.”

“Oh, you’d hate it,” you giggle, scheming hard in your head for tonight already. Pretty bubbles in your ribs lift all your spirits. “I’m actually pretty bossy here.”

The groan that seeps through your car should be illegal.

“That is literally what I’ve been wanting to see.”

It’s your turn to chuckle as you finally make your way out of the parking lot, heading right to the market that you know for a fact has all of what he’s asking for. “I’m only that way at work, though.”

“Do better.”

Your immediate response makes his laugh crunchy in the speakers, and you go along with him because life is good. Life is fucking great right now. “Never mind, you’re paying. And I’m getting stuff for dessert now, too.”

“What? Who said anything about dessert?”

“Me,” you huff out in pride. Since he wants to see that demanding side come out so bad. With a fleeting thought, you think about what it could be like if you end up confident enough to—

“I’m starting to regret this.”

“Regret what?”

“Everything.”

Liar! Your cheeks hurt as you look both ways before making a turn. “Can’t fool me. You’re excited.”

“I am.”

The way there was no hesitation sends shivers up your spine. But it’s partly because you thought you’d be faced with another joke or dig. Not a sudden one-eighty. Stopping at a light, you clear your throat before shyness puffs right out of it. “Well, good,” you state while checking your mirrors. “Cus I am, too.”

“That’s a given, though.”

“Excuse you.”

Yoongi laughs before you hear the sound of cabinets, and you wonder which ones he could be touching.

“Mm, babe. One more thing.”

Can he stop making your heart beat two times at once? “Hmm?”

There’s a little bit of pause, followed by the clank of a pan on metal. When you hear another hum, you wonder what he could possibly—

“I think we’re out of condoms.”

Who is out of what. If you weren’t still at a red, your foot would’ve slammed on the gas because what the fuck! All you can manage out are sounds without substance, random syllables, gibberish. Nothing is computing in your head.

“Wait. Or are we?”

Okay, Yoongi needs to stop with that two-letter word before your behavior turns downright criminal. With as much seriousness as you can manage, you accuse, “Are you just fucking with me?”

And his response launches you forward just as the light turns green,

“Yeah. That’s why we’re out of—”

“Alright!” you cut in, stopping stopping stopping him because for whatever reason, this conversation is too much. Despite seeing this very man naked in many, many ways, just having this talk with him is making you shier than ever before. “Guess I’ll, umm. Get those, too.”

“Nah, you don’t have to.”

“Oh. Found some?”

“No.”

Wait. If he didn’t find some why is he telling you that you don’t have to— “Oh,” you peep in realization. A very sudden, jaw dropping realization. “Goddamn it, you’re too distracting now, bye.”

And he finally breaks with laughter that’s contagious as hell. Which isn’t fair when you’re pretending to be upset with him. Even when you can’t see Yoongi, you can imagine the way his cheeks rise and his eyes crease. The way the whole room illuminates when he’s packed with happiness.

And you want that to be the case forever.

“You’re just lucky I’m not there with you.”

“Yeah, you’d be annoying as hell.”

“Damn!”

As the market comes into view, your teeth shine as you grin, roasting this man quickly becoming one of your favorite pastimes.

“To be fair,” you start to amend, fingers drumming on the wheel as you decide whether or not to say what you want. After deciding that there’s no wrong answer here, you softly admit, “I really do wanna get groceries with you.”

There’s no words that come out in response. Only the slight movements of shuffling and water running and what could be more cabinets closing. But you don’t really know for sure—

“It’s gonna happen, doll.”

You clutch the wheel.

“Cus I want that, too.”

One of these days you’re gonna see this damn cat again.

Foot connecting with Yoongi’s door, you grunt as multiple bags burden your limbs, pride digging divots along your arms—second trips be damned.

It doesn’t take long for him to let you in anyway, and you swoon at the way he doesn’t even ask while taking some of your baggage. But the kiss on your cheek makes your heart bang into everything between the front door and the kitchen. It’s so distracting that you barely smell the spices greeting you, too.

“Thanks for getting all this,” Yoongi says as you both cross onto tile.

“Of course.” Lifting the much lighter load that you have, you revel in the small thumps and thuds on his counter. Not really knowing why. “Let’s put this up before I yell at you.”

His laugh comes out in hisses while you both start reaching into bags. “For what!”

“Sent me everywhere to find some of this shit.”

“You could’ve asked somebody.”

Feeling a bit silly and high off his presence already, you repeat his words in a goofy mocking tone, and the way he blows out air sends your belly fluttering.

And just like that, things are back to normal again. No worries about your sibling, or work, or anything else looming by the door. Inside is what matters, and the whole apartment fills with jabs and jokes as groceries find their homes.

But Yoongi finds a bag you had separated from the rest, and you snap your mouth shut when he looks inside, something rising in your core when he turns to you with an eyebrow raised. And a smirk so salacious it makes you quiver.

“What about it,” you squeak out, crumbling when he simply takes the bag and flings it through his bedroom door. “You said you—we were out, so…”

“That’s a big box, doll,” he points out on his way to your tightly bitten lip. Mouth slicing through your sanity, he approaches you with a glint in his eyes. “Got something you wanna say?”

“Nope,” you whoosh out oh god he looks way too hot in those sweats wait is that a growing bulge? “Although I will say it took me forever to pick out what—”

Sparks ignite your hands when your lips are claimed, launching them into his shirt and tugging him backward because you’ve been waiting way too long to kiss the shit out of him.

And Yoongi responds in kind, pinning you to his fridge and so, very obvious that he’s been waiting for this, too.

Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. How to imitate this treasured yearning that only he can pull from the depths of your ocean. Deep, deeper, deepest. All these kisses. Your ascending affection.

“As much as I wanna throw you on my bed,” Yoongi jokes, pulling away and giving your cheek a light tap. “I’m taking you somewhere.”

And you’re so thrown from the impact that your brain mini-resets. “Huh? We’re leaving?”

“Uh huh.”

Hold on. Wait. Is this what he meant when he said he’s getting the next one? You’re going out to eat? Together? No. No, there’s no way. Yoongi knows that’s the worst possible thing to do right now, as much as the idea is sending your belly in a frenzy. “Are you sure? What about dinner? Won’t people… You know.”

“It’s ready already,” he reveals. “By the door.”

Your head snaps to where he points out, even though you can’t see through the bar. “Really?” No wonder it smells like a cooking aftermath. All those smells twirling around your head. How did you not even catch the dishes in the sink?

But hold up, you just bought a shit ton of food! “Then what the hell was the run for?”

Yoongi blinks. Then he does it again. Expression stone still, he responds as if you were privy to his plans this entire time, “I told you to get what I needed.”

Your turn to blink.

“And I needed food.”

This man is going to be the death of you. Affronted, your jaw hangs before you grit through a smile that betrays you, “Oh, you—”

“So thanks,” he quips through another tilt of his lips. “Let’s go, doll.”

The begrudged sound that leaves you makes him kick his head back on the way out the kitchen.

“Eat.”

The container on your thighs warms you through. “Now?”

“Mm.”

“I can wait,” you assure, watching as night paints the surrounding scenery in navy and black. “We can eat together.”

“Just a bite then.”

Turning to Yoongi, you don’t see a change in his face as he eyes the road. The veins in his arm catch all the streetlight, and you gulp before your gaze falls to what he made. Music fills the car, and you decide that maybe you do feel a little hungry. So you listen to instruction, popping it open and being careful as you pluck a piece to try.

There’s no denying it. This motherfucker is a chef. “Fuck, this is good.”

Your borderline moan sends Yoongi’s shoulders bobbing, and you will never get over those low, gravelly laughs. “Sorry.” Your hand hovers over your mouth in embarrassment. “I don’t react like that unless I’m alone.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, well,” you swallow. “Course you don’t.”

A tiny peek of teeth show as Yoongi smiles, and you don’t expect what he offers next, “Just be you, doll. It’s just me.”

The next bite of food pauses on the way to your mouth. “Oh,” you murmur. “Same for you then.”

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“Cus we wouldn’t make it to where we’re going.”

That was legitimately the worst time to put food in your mouth. Sputtering, your words come out low and chortled, “You fucker.”

His hisses are brief before he dips into silence again. As he slowly turns the wheel, you can see a glimpse of something deep in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly apologizes, swallowing as you keep your gaze.

What is that look? Weren’t you both just having a good time? “For what, baby?”

“Everything.”

Your lungs flinch. This is definitely not what you expected to hear on the way to wherever the hell you’re going. “Oh.”

Yoongi still doesn’t look your way, and with each pass of a light over his face, you catch quick snapshots of those eyes you’re still so shy of. “I, umm. I didn’t expect shit to pan out this way.”

“It’s okay,” you whisper.

After a slow motion of disagreement, his head falls forward just a bit. And your eyes find his hand clutching the gear shift in what you sadly think is frustration. “I’ve just thought about some things,” he starts, another song playing. “How worried you must’ve been.”

You look forward. Because this is the part where you can’t face him. “I was. But not for the same reason as last time.” Without a hesitation of your own, your palm reaches between your seats. And you can tell Yoongi watches as you take his hand to hold.

“I was worried about you,” you correct with softness. “It was hard because I didn’t know what to do.” Don’t fucking cry. You filled quite a few buckets already. “When you started not really saying much, I just… Hoped it was for a good reason, so. Yeah.”

You feel your hand gently pulled, which is already enough to make you melt. But when it’s kissed, you don’t know what the hell to fucking do.

“I’m sorry, doll,” Yoongi whispers into your skin, lips brushing with every syllable and painting a canvas of his reconcile. “I won’t leave you hanging like that again.”

There’s a tiny fire in the back of your throat, the embers reaching your eyes just a little too aggressively. You attempt to squash the growing flames before they flare. “Oh. Umm. Thank you.” What else do you say? Yoongi’s being wonderful, but why do you feel… sad? Why is there lingering snow on your windowsill? “Were you worried?”

“Me? Umm.” He stops at a light that he clearly didn’t want to stop at. Resting your conjoined hands on his pliant thigh, his jaw works as he observes them.

And you wonder if he thinks they slot together perfectly, too.

“…Yeah.”

Fuck. “About what?”

“That you’d hate me.”

Your heart meshes his fingers with yours. “Yoongi.”

“Or that you shouldn’t be with someone that’s gone this much.”

Fuck, he’s doing it again. Regressing. You’ve seen it happen in his kitchen and you’ll be damned if all that work, all that peeling, all that resolution amounted to nothing wait, wait, stop. This isn’t gonna be an overnight fix. And you have no clue what’s been happening, so just keep trying, trying, trying.

“I’m used to people leaving,” you joke, but not really. “Like seasons.”

He whips his head to you, and you backpedal because that probably sounded so random. You’ve got to think about filtering your thoughts a little more now that you’re getting comfortable. Yoongi says you can be yourself, sure, but you have to admit your quirks are a little out there. “I know it’s weird, but..”

He’s quiet as the light turns green. And when you don’t finish, he admits, “I think the same.”

“You do?”

Your hand is brushed as a hum peppers it from above. “Mmhmm.”

“Well.” That’s interesting. You didn’t know anyone thought about that stuff like you did. Now you wonder if there’s anywhere else your wavelengths sync, and if they’ve been syncing up all this time. “At least you come back.”

Yoongi squeezes your hand tight before he holds it against his lips. Again. Fuck, this is a lot. You’re so wrapped up in his gesture that you don’t catch what he whispers.

“Hmm?”

He glances at the center console before putting your hand back on his thigh.

“Always, doll.”

And the fire you stepped on rages back with a vengeance. Heat and sting surrounds your eyes, and you don’t hide how you press your feelings into his skin. “Me, too.”

If you weren’t lost in the surrounding scenery outside, you would have caught Yoongi’s look. But all you feel is his hand clutching you tight, and it breaks you down all the same.

The rest of the drive is spent with him telling you to eat more, and a bunch of your sing-alongs to almost every song that comes on. It seems like the tiny bit of closure opened you both up, and you don’t even realize that you’ve been on the road for a really long time.

But finally, Yoongi pulls up to a building, and you’re haphazardly rapping along to a song before you notice. Wait. What? He drove you to a rec center?

Your fingers curl around his forearm before you even notice. “What’s this?”

“Where we’re going.”

Hold on, you’re going inside? “Are we even allowed to be here?”

When Yoongi responds, his teeth make you shiver as he smirks. “Can’t say for sure, no.”

“Then why—”

He unlocks before you can finish, and you’re left in an empty car until he rounds the hood, coming over to your side and opening the door. You almost don’t hear what he says next, too focused on the jewelry swinging from his neck as he bends forward.

But you catch it, and glance once more at the sight in front of you before biting your lip—in nervousness or excitement, you can’t decide.

“You comin’?”

Damn. Obviously, you want nothing more than to see him here. And it’s much too late for anyone to be around. But if something happens… Whatever.

Your mouth finally unsticks. “If we get caught, you’re gonna pay for this.”

And you can’t resist his stupid grin. “Now get your pretty ass out before I put you in the back.”

“Yoongi!”

Grinning, he leads you out, and you follow him to the trunk. After bouncing his stowed ball a couple times, he decides to lean in and reach for something else.

Wait. Is that what you think it is? “Did you always have that in there?” you ask, pointing to the contraption that Yoongi’s using to air up his basketball.

And he does a horrible job at suppressing a smile. Which makes you burst into flutters and beats beats beats. “You liar!” Oh, you are gonna wipe those laughs from his throat. “I had to change up my plans because of you!”

Palming the ball, Yoongi tilts his head dangerously to one side. “And I got to see you,” he proudly claims. “So I’ll take it.”

You hate how the memories come packaged with what’s haunted you. What else happened during that time, and what happened after you left. But there’s no way you’re gonna bring that up. Not when the night has transformed into something so magical.

So you just clutch your food and lean on his car, opting to compliment him to wipe the murk away. “Got to see you, too,” you puff into the brisk night. Because you harbor a bit of nostalgia in your bones. And because he still makes you shy. “You and your stupid hair.”

Another bout of hisses wisp into your side. As you turn to regard Yoongi again, he slips his chains into his hoodie before continuing, and you swoon at the veins popping out of his skin with each pump.

How can he look so perfect doing the simplest things? So unfair.

After seconds that feel like an hour, Yoongi’s done. And he scans the parking lot before telling you to follow him.

What you expect is some outdoor courts. Maybe getting past a gate or two. So when you approach a back door lit by the shine of a single light, you freeze. “Are we really going in?”

Fishing something out of his pocket, Yoongi simply turns over his shoulder. “Yeah. Why not?”

“Oh.” You didn’t think you’d actually get inside the building. If there was an outside court just as accessible it would’ve made sense. Can you even bring food in here? Is that question even relevant? “No reason.”

“So I shouldn’t bust in?”

Huh. “What?”

“I’ve already done it a few times, so.”

“Wait!” Nerves throw your hand on his bicep before you can stop. “What if someone sees us?”

He’s so warm. And so toned. And if he plans on taking his hoodie off? You’re not prepared for whatever the hell he has underneath.

Voice softened, Yoongi tries to placate your paranoia, “They won’t, doll.”

“Are you sure? If we get caught here they’re gonna call the police and I am definitely not… Gonna…”

The object in his hand jangles, and you clearly see he was just joking the whole time because keys—keys—stare you in the face.

What is it with him and keys?

When Yoongi speaks, you feel like you’ve never done anything bad in your life, and suddenly the thought of trespassing with an official way in is so scandalous,

“You picked the wrong night to be a good girl.”

You have to admit. Seeing him so mischievous and dashing makes you wanna follow him wherever the hell he goes. Even if it gets you in trouble. Even if you were breaking in tonight, you would be all in. And that thought should frighten you, but it only does because of the wings tickling your rib cage.

How can he make you feel rebellious and yet still so shy? The power of Min Yoongi. He’s way too good at destroying you.

When you glare, the man only grins, hisses of laughter leaving him way too happily before he unlocks the door to no alarms or sirens. He doesn’t need to throw a wink your way, too, but of course he does as he lets you in. Which causes you to float through the dark entryway instead of walk oh he did not just slap your ass!

A jolt in your cunt causes you to regard him in shock. To which he hums in a feigned question. “Hmm?”

With nothing but darkness and his cologne surrounding you, it’s only natural that giddiness takes hold. Truthfully, you’re packed with so much adrenaline that you feel a little wild yourself. “You’ve been waiting to do that, huh.”

“So fucking long.”

You are not surviving the night. And you don’t give a single shit.

But as shy and out of control as you feel around this man, you also feel safe—even in a faraway, dark building that you’ve never been in before. That’s gotta say something about him, right?

Yoongi feels along the wall beside you for lights, purposefully bumping your chest with his front even though he’s securing a ball with an arm. When you question his joking decision with noises, a chaste kiss on your lips shuts you right up.

“You’re in the way,” he jokes through what you think is a smile, and you’re about to move when he flicks on a switch very far away from your shoulder.

Liar! Your jaw drop must be comical because Yoongi’s grin stretches astronomically wide. But you cannot find a retort because seeing him so chill while you’re stiff from paranoia has you at a loss.

Is this how he used to be all the time? This carefree, all caution to the wind? He’s so fucking handsome like this. No wonder he’s pulled so many hearts just like yours.

When you still don’t find any words to say, Yoongi makes it harder, stepping so close that you have to swing the plastic container away. Taking one of your hands in his free one, he gives it a warm squeeze while murmuring,

“You’re so cute.”

“How,” you ask just as softly.

And Yoongi responds with lights in his eyes. “Just are.”

Your lips mesh with his as he keeps your fingers secured, and suddenly every cautious thing in your body gets launched into the skies, too.

But it ends as soon as it begins. And Yoongi backs away from you with a smile,

“Eat.”

“Huh?”

“Eat, doll,” he orders before turning and dribbling onto the court.

When you call out that he hasn’t eaten yet, Yoongi tells you that he already did. When you look around to figure out where to even sit, you decide on the closest set of bleachers and make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Which is impossible. Because they’re bleachers. Which is now triple impossible. Because Yoongi just shucked off his hoodie and the only thing he had under it was his chains goddamn it.

If you weren’t already sitting down you would’ve fallen right into the next dimension. How the fuck are you supposed to eat in these conditions shit he’s walking over!

Your throat seizes as Yoongi approaches, face trained as if he isn’t aware of his overwhelming presence. All he does is bend to place his sweater next to your legs. But the quick smooch on your lips makes you swoon harder than you ever have.

And the way his silver taps your chest makes you mentally hold on for dear life. Wait. What the fuck, Yoongi’s taking them off right now? Right in front of you? Just as you're supposed to eat oh okay he’s handing them to you great wonderful fantastic.

The metal links feel so warm yet slightly cold to the touch. Weighty, yet light. But you clutch them in your hand as you connect a gaze to his.

“Relax,” he orders, lightly slapping the side of your thigh. “No need to worry.”

And with bangs swishing, he goes right back to the ball waiting for him. Leaving you starry-eyed to hell with silver in your palm.

…Did all of that just happen? Is any of this even real? Quite frankly, you fucking forgot what you were even worried about.

No matter what he does—simple lay-ups standing in place, dribbling to different spots to shoot, or even lazily jogging after the ball—you’re so enthralled with his actions that you forget that you’re not supposed to be here.

And it takes your last bite of food for something to finally hit you. How does Yoongi have keys to this place? Where the hell did he score those because you don’t think he ever mentioned anything about working here. Or anywhere else other than the studio.

Yet another mystery to add to this walking, bare-chested enigma.

But there’s another question forming behind your eyes the longer you watch him practice, the more you notice how he’s actually going hard. Yoongi’s really good right now. A lot better than what you’ve seen of him before.

Has he been coming here more often than he’s let on? And why does he look so… serious? You’d be surprised if he even remembered you’re here.

Setting your empty container down, you gather the chains in your hands again, deciding to slip them over your head for safer keeping. After, you grab a water before stepping down the bleachers, hanging a little ways away until Yoongi notices you’re courtside.

And when he sees you, he stops practicing immediately, jogging to you so sweaty and shining and gross and handsome and— “Wait, you’re all swea—”

You’re pulled into a kiss the same time you hear a basketball drop, salt on your tongue and damp palms on your cheeks. And you melt right into the shiny wood floor, drifting, drifting, sailing into dreamland even though you’re technically already there.

“Sweaty,” you whisper into his hot breaths of exertion, a twinge between your legs when he kisses you even deeper—breathing, inhaling, taking you in. “Gross.”

“Thanks.”

You flash a smile against Yoongi’s lips, giggling because this is all better than anything your brain could’ve conjured on its own. When you ask why he’s going so hard, all you get is a question in return,

“You’re perfect, you know that?”

Huh? Blinking, you suddenly don’t remember your own train of thought. “What did I do?”

“Nothing.” He presses a wet mouth to your nose. “Did you eat?”

Laughing, you reassure him, “I did, I did.”

“Good. You bored?”

“Huh?”

Yoongi leans to softly take your lips this time, and you want to say he’s approaching the legal limit for kisses tonight. “Thought you came over cus you wanna leave.”

“And stop seeing you play? I could watch this forever.” You squeeze the water bottle a little tighter. “Just checking on you.” Another strike hits between your legs when Yoongi takes another, lazier glide over your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you forward by your bottoms, fingers slick from use.

You could do this for eternity, too.

“Well I got about five more minutes in me, so..”

This man.

“Forever might be a stretch.”

“Ah, shut up. Here,” you offer through a giggle, holding the water out for him to take.

“Thanks.” When he does, he tilts his head at just the right angle to cut you through, gulping down liquid and making you do the same to your nothingness.

So unfair. “You looked like you were going pretty hard.”

Lowering the bottle, Yoongi shifts his jaw before taunting something a ways off. “I kinda was.”

“It was kinda hot.”

His laugh makes you smile, and his next swig makes you weep. “Nah, but. This is our practice gym. I can just zone out here, so. It’s been one of those things.”

Ah. Was this one of the places Yoongi ended up during those months apart? You wish he could’ve brought you along sometimes. Or at least thought about asking. It’s nice just to be around him while he does something he likes. Gaining courage, you say exactly what’s on your mind, “You can always bring me, too. If you want.”

And it’s true. You don’t really have to do much when you’re with him, because just being around him is what brightens your day. Lifts your mood.

But you have to admit that watching him play basketball while shirtless is the biggest fucking win in history.

When did Yoongi get so close? When did his eyes retreat so far away? “I didn’t wanna bother you with this,” he admits, a drop of sweat clinging onto his chin. “I don’t even put music on.”

“You never bother me,” you whisper back. Hoping that he believes you and that he will start to accept that as fact. Because it is. “Even if you’re being annoying.”

The bottle crinkles as he smiles, and there’s a soft kiss to your lips that has no real desire behind it. Just a nice peck that sends you careening down a hill of flowers. “You won’t be feeling that way tomorrow, babe.”

“And why is that?”

“Cus of what I’m wearing.”

And he says that while half-naked? Like any look on him could get any worse. “Oh,” you scoff out, fully calling his bluff. “As if.”

Well, fuck. You don’t enjoy the smirk plastered on his face. It has you both dreading and excited for whatever demon you’re gonna run into tomorrow. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shrugs as he starts to hand the water back. “We can go soon, by the way.”

“Okay.”

But before you can grab it, Yoongi pulls the bottle from reach. “Unless,” he teases. “You wanna play me.”

“What.”

His grin shines, face glistening and turning your insides to jelly. “You told me you’d win, so. Let’s see it.”

You said that? While sober? How does he remember something like that when you can’t even recall a time or place you’d tell him something so bold. “When!”

“Right after you woke up once. Said you’re a master?”

Oh. That was ages ago. Fuck, you already forgot how did Yoongi remember?

“Oh. Well.” Your nose turns up in feigned haughtiness. “Wouldn’t wanna throw you off your game before a championship.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’d make you cry what the fuck!”

Water spills down your head in rivulets as you freeze, stunned and watching Yoongi jogging his laughs back to the bleachers like a punk. “Think you got something on your face, doll.”

“Yoongi!” What the hell possessed him to do that to you here? Racing after him with purpose, you slam into him just as he reaches for another bottle, shoving a laugh out of his throat and making him catch himself on hardwood. “Nu uh, gimme that!”

“It’s mine, I just ran out—”

“Bitch!” You lunge for another bottle lying further away, distancing yourself to quickly rip the cap off and to avoid feeling his slick back on your hands.

And it’s a lawless gym as both of you start spraying water, arcs and splashes of bottled liquid spewing over the court and soaking into your clothes and his bare skin. Which proves to get worse and worse for your wellbeing the more he gets soaked in your attacks.

Running ends up being the only option to avoid getting completely drenched, and you hightail it behind bleachers before your waist is grabbed. “Fuck!”

“Uh huh.”

You try to wrestle out of his hold, his wet forearm digging lovely into your stomach, and you’re temporarily let go just so Yoongi can spin you around.

Your back connects with solid wall, the impact shooting a grunt out of your throat before you laugh out of pure disbelief. “I can’t believe, you got me to do that,” you rush out, sentence punctuated by your breaths more than anything else.

Here you are. Under bleachers. With Yoongi’s skin caging you with radiating heat.

You can only stare as he drinks you in, no doubt looking at his silver around your neck and your chest heaving from exertion. Butterflies float across your stomach when his smile drips, and you fold as soon as he swoops in.

Everything in your being pulses hard. It’s so visceral that you teeter on the edge of sanity and logic, and the thoughts slipping through your mind are just as wild as you feel. Before you’re even aware of it, a mischievous finger slides along the hem of his shorts, and you jump at the downright boulders rolling down your front,

“Careful, doll.”

“Hmm?” You feel bad. And it feels fantastic. “What was that?”

More gravel slides down his tongue, and you shake at his attractive as fuck threat, “Fuck around and find out then.”

Your giggles add feather lightness into his murky laughs, but you’re so preoccupied that you don’t notice his hand between your legs until he slaps the inside of your thigh. “Yoo—!”

“Unless.” He leans forward. “My baby’s too scared.”

Holy fuck, you might be. Is he really willing to do something with you? In a public place very similar to where you’re gonna watch him play tomorrow? You don’t know why the fuck that’s attractive as hell, but it is.

Yoongi grips your chin, eyes falling to your lips and brows knitted before claiming your lips even harder. And despite your bones vibrating to hell, you put your all into the kiss, relishing in the growing hardness you feel against your front. An animal starts to wake inside your core, and you almost feel like stroking it. Feeding it. Raising it only for it to consume you in return.

“Fuck it, we’re leaving.”

“Huh?” Dazed, you let your vision refocus as Yoongi chuckles at your hazy state.

“Fuck this. I’m taking you home.”

For some reason, the game makes you nervous today. Even while Taehyung strides into the gymnasium with you, there’s a lingering feeling swelling in your stomach, and you don’t have any reason for it yet.

At least this is another rec center entirely. Because there’s no way you would’ve sat still knowing you had a clandestine meeting in the same place not even twenty-four hours before.

But the activity already bustling around hardwood catches your attention. Not on both sides, since only one team is here, but they are active on the other end doing drills.

Wow. They look really intimidating, matching jerseys that were clearly done professionally and warm-ups having a set routine. You wonder if this is gonna be a tough game for… Wait. That’s your brother under the basket. That’s them?

Fucking hell, Yoongi was right.

Because you’ll already never get over how attractive he looks in athletic clothes.

But team jerseys?

Seeing this man rock a basketball uniform with his toned arms and legs so visible makes you want to claw your way out of your invisible cage.

When the hell did they even get those? And why is he already slightly drenched during the warm-up alone?

As soon as you see him make a lay-up, you know for a fact that you shouldn’t be here.

Yes, you’re gonna stay and yes, you’re gonna cheer for them all game. But you are absolutely gonna feel like jumping him, which will in turn make you wanna bolt and run all the way out of town every agonizing second.

Shit, shit, shit. You’re gonna have to try your damned hardest to unstick your eyes from that man the whole time. Already, you can hear Taehyung’s teasing, and your groan is to lament your future state.

Your name suddenly rings across the gym, and four feet pause in your ascent up the bleachers. When you catch both him and Jimin waving you down from their courtside chairs, you tilt your head in intrigue.

They want you to come over there? What the hell is this about?

Sighing, you turn. “Guess I’ll go see what they want.”

“Here,” Tae offers his hand. “I’ll save you a seat.”

Your bag is transferred to his grip while you nod, and you step down onto the court, wondering if you’re even allowed to walk onto it to see them. And Jimin’s grin can be seen from miles away. “Come here!”

You gingerly step onto shiny wooden floors, making your way over and becoming hyper aware that someone else notices your presence. But you’re so puzzled as to why there’s no one on the other side of the court yet because isn’t the game about to start?

Where’s the other team? As you approach their row of chairs, your hands immediately find your hips. “What’s up?”

Jimin’s eyes stay creased as your brother explains the reason he waved you down. A very stupid, very innocuous reason. “Can you keep score?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why me?”

Your brother uses his jersey to wipe sweat from his brow, and you wince at the brand new material getting gross already. “The girl that usually does it for us is sick.”

“And you know the game,” Jimin quickly tacks on, rubbing at some tattoos on full display. Wait, are there more than you remember? When did he get more ink?

Your sibling asks another question you had in mind, “You aren’t gonna cover those?”

“Nah. Not today,” the man elongates in a stretch. “Just got another one. This one!”

Ah, you were right. “I like it.”

Jimin couldn’t look more proud. But enough of that because you really just wanna go back and observe the game from another place entirely. “Can’t y’all find someone else to keep score?”

“We don’t think anyone else can,” your brother explains, looking over your shoulder. “At least, not the people coming to watch us.”

Cool. You get to be met with heat and sweat from all these guys without compensation. How is this something you would say yes to? “Well. I don’t really feel like being a scorekeeper for free.”

When your sibling laughs with Jimin, they share a look before he says so matter-of-factly, “Told you.”

You’re sticking with that. If you’re gonna sit next to a bunch of smelly people, they’re gonna pay… you… somehow.

A ways down the row, you catch Yoongi dumping himself onto a random chair, head tilted back before he hangs it forward to wipe sweat from his forehead.

And suddenly this temporary gig doesn’t seem terrible in the slightest.

Because one, you can sit on a team bench that will have his fine ass right there. And two, this will give you a way to objectively focus on the game. You won’t have time to be distracted by a demon and his hair that’s gotten criminally long.

“I’ll get us all dinner,” your sibling slices through your thoughts. “After we win.”

“Fine,” you sigh, taking the end seat and shooting one more glance to the other side of the court. “Then I get to p—”

The air around you squeezes inward. And all sounds plunge underwater.

Because you recognize someone you knew from a dark club walking onto the court, his team looking just as sharp and cocky as his eyes.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

You don’t notice the way Jimin’s hands flex, nor the way a familiar presence walks up to join your brother.

All you can do is stare back.

And without even realizing.

You’re already rubbing your arm.

tbc. :((

a ha ha... so how do we feel? | taglist | discord!

a/n: okay, hello, loves. apologies this part took so damn long to post! can you imagine if i tried to post everything at once LMAOO yikes talk about too much at once. but i hope this part was enough to still be good on its own, and broken, pt. 2 will be... well. you can probably guess that's where a majority of my brainpower is going to go. a/n 2: thank you all for being here! it's been an amazing two years working on this series and i cannot tell you how grateful and appreciative i am to have such wonderful people alongside me. i hope this series continues to be there for you when you need it, bc it has become that for me, too. ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

#ITS FINALLY HEREEE #SHEESH #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #filter for fics:#*ryenfictalk #yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #three tangerines #3tan11 #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #btsfic #*latest #ryenwrites

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queenie-official · 17 days

Text

Part Three Of Summer Love: ‘Blurred Lines’

series masterlist celebration event camp logo

pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

word count: 18k 😀

a/n: it’s 5:00 in the morning 💀 i’m so tired (proofread but i’m also so tired i probably missed a bunch)

“y/n?" Anakin's voice calls from beside you, his hand still outstretched in front of you as you stare down at it. he gives it a small shake waiting for you to take it.

you'd both just made it to the lodge hall, everyone else had already made it inside whilst you two had the discussion.

reality finally catching up with you as to just what this was going to entail. "you want me to hold your hand?" you ask in disbelief.

"i mean you don't have to, i just figured if we're gonna do the whole fake dating thing we might as well make it convincing." he says with a shrug, hand still waiting for you to take hold. you hadn't expected him to be so… eager?

his willingness for what's essentially going to be a public announcement to the entire camp was confusing. you'd still barely even discussed the details. how far was this to go? just hand-holding? who were you telling the lie to and who was allowed to know the truth?

your thoughts are cut off when you see his hand start to lower, you're quick to place your hand on top of his palm then. the questions pushed to the back of your mind as you’re unable to resist the chance to hold his hand.

did you come off too desperate? you started to question yourself, but the feeling of Anakin's calloused hands intertwining with yours was enough to silence any self-deprecating thoughts.

his hands were warm, and you found yourself staring at them. enjoying the way your hand looked in his. it was enough to distract you as he opened the doors tugging you gently along behind him.

slowly but surely more and more eyes were on you both as you walked to the food line. it came in waves, the whispers and points of fingers. you'd even heard a few 'i told you so's' not just from the campers but from some of your fellow counselors. which made you wonder just how far the rumor of you two dating had spread in less than a day. not that it mattered now.

Anankin's hand finally slipped from yours when he grabbed his tray, handing you one and pulling you back down from the cloud you'd felt like you were floating on. you mumbled a thanks before loading up your tray.

finally looking up and around the hall. you made direct eye contact with Padme who looked about ready to run over and tackle you to the ground in her excitement with questions. thankfully for your sake she didn't, letting you off the hook for now as you headed to your usual lunch table where a slack-jawed Kenobi and bewildered Rex sat.

as soon as you sat down you were both flooded with questions. both men's voices overlapping the other making it impossible to understand what they were saying. it's only when they both settle on the same question that you're left sitting in silence as they wait for your answer. "When did this happen!?" they'd asked, clearly already coming to the conclusion you two were now a thing.

you went to open your mouth and clear the air, with every intention of telling them the truth only to have the words die on your tongue as Anakin says "just now, on the way here" with a shrug of his shoulders.

you blink taken aback. he seemed to be doing that a lot to you within the last ten minutes since it started. it felt like a fever dream. "holy shit" Rex said in shock at Anakin's answer.

"i knew you liked her dude" he continues and you feel your head starting to spin, especially when Anakin doesn't deny it. this was way too much to process at once, but it's not like Anakin could deny it right? he'd agreed you two were a thing without a second thought.

you think back to the way he'd easily lied to Padme that first night when she'd asked what you'd been whispering about. maybe he was just a really good liar? maybe he'd explain to them the situation privately but didn't want to go into details in case he was overheard and then the ruse would be up just as quickly as it’d started. that seemed like the more logical explanation.

in that case you'd do the same, as soon as you and Padme were back at the cabin for the day you'd explain the situation to her but for now as far as anyone knew you and Anakin were officially a couple. what a day this was chalking up to be.

"i leave you two alone for five minutes and i miss everything!" Rex complains before going on a tangent about how from now on he was not being left alone with all the campers so he didn't miss anything else as important as that.

Ben remained silent, clearly taken aback and he looked unsure. like he knew something was up, Anakin was definitely going to be grilled later just as much as you probably were by Padme.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

the day blurred by fast, it hadn't even felt like you were present. truly an out-of-body experience. campers constantly coming up to you throughout different periods for confirmation on the status of your relationship- who knew kids were so interested in this stuff?

the camper most intrigued was Ahsoka, though she didn't show it at first. not asking a single question during her period with you guys in the crafts center like the other kids did, not even confronting Anakin to your knowledge.

nor did she confront you when you sat at the table together at dinner. even after Padme swarmed you with her own questions that you brushed off telling her you'd explain later.

no Ahsoka was too smart for that, she knew she wouldn't get any real information out of you that way, so she played the waiting game. looking for just the right moment to pounce, and sure enough when all the kids were either showering or brushing their teeth leaving you alone in the staff cabin room contemplating your life as Padme supervised the kids. Jasmine nowhere to be found after she'd dropped her kids off at the cabin. she made her move.

"is it true? you and Anakin are dating" the question pulled you from the hurricane that was your mind, turning towards the door where Ahsoka was walking in from.

you bit your lip unsure whether or not she should know the truth, she sat beside you on the bed narrowing her eyes; daring you to try and lie. no one ever talks about this but there is nothing more frightening than the judgment of a twelve-year-old girl. judgment that makes you cave instantly.

"no, we're just pretending." the truth comes out and you feel lighter, the room feeling just a smidge easier to breathe in. you look at Ahsoka gauging her reaction, she seemed disappointed. "we thought it'd be easier to just pretend we were rather than having to deny it constantly to everyone"

her nose wrinkles at the explanation like she'd just heard the most stupid thing ever. if she does think that she doesn't say it, just sighs instead before speaking up. "i figured, it seemed too good to be true. especially since i was the one who started the rumor" your mind went completely blank at the revelation, blinking rapidly.

she looks guilty, a small nervous smile on her face. "i know you guys said you weren't, but you just seemed so cute together! and Anakin seems to really like you- i just figured that if enough people were saying you were together you'd both realize your feelings and confess" oh this sweet mischievous child.

"i mean i've had him as my counselor two summers in a row now and i'm telling you i've never seen him act the same way he does with you with Padme. he says he likes her but i don't think he really does. i think he just found her beautiful and was infatuated with her" she continued to ramble, defending her actions and you had to give her some credit she was extremely emotionally intelligent. but way off.

sure he was a little touchy with you lately, prior to the hand-holding at lunch today. and yeah he joked around a lot but you worked at the same activity center. you were bound to be close- and as for the physical affection he just seemed like a touchy guy. he hugged and roughhoused around with Ben and Rex all the time.

he was just too nervous to do all of that with Padme is all and you don't blame him, you'd be nervous too if you were pinning after her. Padme was a gorgeous person inside and out. she was smart and independent, honestly if Anakin hadn't somehow managed to wedge his way into your mind so quickly, you probably would have had a crush on her too.

Ahsoka could see it on your face, the disbelief in her assessment. "if you and Anakin are just pretending why bother actually acting like a proper couple then?"

"hand holding hardly counts as acting like a proper couple Ahsoka" you laugh and she huffs in annoyance.

"stage one, denial" she says with a shake of her head. gods if this was how Ahsoka was acting you could already guess how Padme was going to be.

"shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" you change the subject and Ahsoka relents, mumbling a 'we'll see who's right' under breath as she leaves.

you weren't in denial, what'd she know she was twelve for gods sake. you fall backwards on the bed with a groan. once more Padme took care of the kids getting them all to settle down for the day and giving them the usual 'you have an hour before bed' spiel.

as soon as she was done she came into the room. you could have sworn all you did was blink and she was hovering above you. "spill everything" she says excitedly and for a split second you consider keeping up the lie knowing the truth was only going to disappoint her as much as it did you.

but you couldn't willingly lie to Padme especially when you'd confessed to a literal kid not even a few minutes prior, so instead you suck up what remains of your dignity and go over everything that happened leading up to lunch.

she has her brows raised, a similar face to Ahsoka's earlier. "wow you two are doing everything except admitting you like each other aren't you" you roll your eyes, knowing this was coming.

"ive admitted it to you" she purses her lips and gives you a deadpanned look.

"yea to me not to Anakin" you groan rubbing your face with your hands in frustration.

"he doesn't like me he likes-" she cuts you off, with an exasperated sigh.

"-me i know, i know, so you've said a thousand times but what on earth has happened lately that says in any way he likes me like that anymore?" her question irks you, not because it was necessarily annoying but because it was unfortunately a valid point.

"i don't know Padme i don't pretend to understand the male mind" she shrugs with a soft fair enough and falls back beside you.

"maybe you're right, maybe he doesn't like you." she starts and you feel yourself grimace realizing just how much it was going to hurt when you called off the fake dating thing at the end of the summer. "but there's also a chance that i'm correct so stop ruling it out and acting like it's a definitive fact."

but it was, how much clearer could it be when he said so himself? you tune her out at this point tired from the day's events and even more so from the constant back and forth. you felt a sense of relief knowing you wouldn't have to fight back to anyone else about how you two weren't dating, making you realize just why Anakin had suggested it in the first place.

it was so much easier to pretend than to constantly have to deny something you two weren't. or so you had convinced yourself.

eventually, Padme let you be; heading to the top bunk to chill until lights out. you sigh truly a jumbled mess as you move to lay on your stomach, opening your phone to text Honey. whoever said in the eye of a hurricane there is quiet for just a moment was a liar- or you'd yet to reach that brief moment of respite.

'Honeeeyyyy' you send just to get your best friends attention, it was time to let every thought out of your mind and Honey was the one person you knew would listen to every single one. yes she would tell you how it is if she felt the need to but she'd always let you speak your truth first.

unfortunately for you, there was no answer not even five minutes later as you swiped back and forth from her message chat and your home screen. which could only mean two things, her phone was dead or she was busy with her family and didn't wanna come off rude by taking out her phone and messaging you. just your luck.

you sigh before typing a message anyway, deciding to just get everything off your chest now and then she can answer back later when she was free. it's not until you send '(so sorry to be putting this on you out of no where) - me and Anakin are fake dating 😀 we talked about how the campers wouldn't stop bothering us so he suggested we do it to get them to stop and i agreed 😭' that the chat was instantly opened.

a text bubble immediately appearing and sent within the blink of an eye. 'WHAAATTT!?' you couldn't help but laugh, you suppose if she'd been the one to send something like that you'd have reacted the same way.

you continued to explain the situation giving her all the details leading up to where you were now before she responds again. 'not you living out a romance trope'

'it seemed like a good idea when i agreed 😭' you type back, not that you were currently having doubts. 'it's purely platonic'

'my ass, in what world are we living in where this is going to go the strictly platonic route 🤨' fair honestly, you couldn't even entirely believe this was the reality you were living in. 'we're both aware this means he 100% likes you back right? i mean who fake dates someone when they have feelings for someone else.'

of course she said that, that is now three different people who've all separately told you this. 'maybe he's trying to make Padme jealous?' it was a sad attempt at an excuse and you both knew it. Anakin and you strictly did this to get the campers off your backs, there were no alterior motives involved.

if there were you never would of agreed to it, and even if you had it would not have the effect on Padme he'd think it would if that were the case. she harbored no feelings for him that much was clear. 'y/n, my love. i need you to be so fr with me rn girl 🙏😐'

okay maybe Ahsoka was right about you being in denial. but denial was good, denial was safe. it meant if everyone else was wrong and he didn't like you you'd have no reason to be upset when you already knew the truth. 'look i'm sure this whole thing will blow over once the gossip dials down between the campers and Anakin will call it off'

'whatever helps you sleep at night' was the last message you read from her before shutting off your phone. smooshing your face into the pillow wanting nothing more than to scream.

you look back up when you hear your phone ping a few minutes later, your heart flutters in your chest when you see it's a text from Anakin.

you decided you’re too emotionally drained to give him much attention so rather than opening your phone to respond you just unlock it and read the notification box 'Ben and Rex know the truth' you let out a sigh of relief- or maybe disappointment.

it was just like you thought earlier he just didn't want to give it away to the campers that you both were faking it. you turn your phone back off again, mind empty unsure how to feel. there's the quiet. the eye of the storm you finally made it.

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you woke up the next day without having realized you'd even fallen asleep to begin with. a small voice calling your name from beside you. when you finally open your eyes, the sunlight blinding you as it poured through the window successfully disorienting you further as you tried to recognize who was speaking to you at that moment.

"y/n" the small voice called again, this time you sat up before you opened your eyes. avoiding the bright rays of the sun as you adjusted to the room around you. once you could see properly you turn to your side seeing Mia standing at the side of the bed waiting for you to answer.

you blink a few times confused, looking up to the bunk bed across from you only to find it completely empty. your eyes fall back down to Mia. "is everything okay?" the young girl shakes her head.

"i don't know where Jasmine is" she says sounding worried. had Jasmine even come back to the cabin last night? you kept that question to yourself as you stared at the camper from Jasmine's group.

"that's okay, i'm sure she'll show up. is there something you need from her that i could help you with?" you offer trying your best to reassure her.

"she usually braids my hair for the day, Quinn said she could do it but she only knows how to do the one with three strands" you nod pulling yourself off the bed and stretching.

"i can help you, bring me your brush and hair elastic" the little girl smiles happily, skipping out of the room to go find just that. you look up to the bed above yours. Padme wasn't in bed either, not entirely strange since she always woke up before you but something felt off.

you aren't able to dwell on it as Mia comes back in the room with everything you need to do her hair. you brush her hair before doing your best to evenly part it down the middle with your fingers. working on one side and doing a fishtail braid before moving to the other. tying off the ends with the green elastics she's brought you.

Mia gives you an excited thank you before skipping off to join the rest of the kids in the other room just as Padme enters, closing the door behind her. "we have a situation" she whispers so none of the kids would overhear.

your brows crease together in concern. "what's wrong?" Padme looks over to Jasmine's bed and you feel your stomach start to swirl.

"she never came back to the cabin last night after curfew. no one's seen her this morning either. i already messaged around the camp, i even tried messaging her myself but she hasn't answered." so much for emergencies not being a common occurrence here.

"has anyone reported her missing to the directors yet?" you ask, walking over to the bed to grab your phone. when you checked the time you noticed it was almost time to head over to the lodge hall for breakfast. you press your lips together into a thin line before turning back to Padme.

"i told Ben and he messaged them. they sent a text to all the counselors to continue the day like normal for now and they'd have an announcement on what was going to happen before breakfast was over" you sigh rubbing the back of your neck with your hand.

"alright, i'm going to get dressed then and we can head out" Padme nods and leaves the room taking responsibility to talk to the kids.

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As you all walk to the lodge hall in one big group you hear the kids whispering amongst themselves about Jasmine. Padme hadn't told them the entire truth, simply saying that Jasmine wasn't with us right now and until she was back her group of kids were to come to us for help if they needed it.

it was clear they didn't believe her though and you were pretty confident that you just overheard one of the younger campers, Jason whisper to one of the older campers, Lily that he'd overheard Padme outside earlier on the phone saying to someone that Jasmine was missing.

"y/n?" you turn to the familiar voice meeting the eyes of Colton who stares up at you worriedly.

"you alright buddy?" you ask him and he shakes his head no. he mumbles a response but it was hard to hear him over the other kids. when he realizes you weren't able to make out what he said he raises his voice just a smidge more and this time you could hear him say 'i'm scared'. he seemed unsure of his words.

you give him a sympathetic smile sticking out your hand for him to take, he doesn't hesitate for once. taking it and simultaneously gluing himself to your side as you walk. poor kid was definitely worked up about this situation.

you let him stay with you even as you walk through the food line once you all get to the hall. you're internally debating whether to sit with him or have him sit with you as you stare at the table where the boys are at. thankfully he makes the decision for you. "can i sit with you guys today?" he asks shyly.

you give him a reassuring smile and nod as you both walk over to what has become your designated table. "and who's this?" Rex asks as soon as Colton sits beside you.

Anakin, who for once looked wide awake, turned to see who Rex was referring to. "hey Colton" he holds his hand out to the boy for a first bump. Colton shies away from all the attention but still shakily bumps Anakin's fist with his own.

"he wanted to sit with us today" you smile giving the little boy a gentle pat on the shoulder for encouragement as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. he still doesn't say anything but gives a small nod of agreement before focusing on his food to eat after moving his noise-canceling headphones from his neck to over his ears as the noise from the cafeteria becomes overwhelming.

you turn towards your friends as Colton stays in his own little bubble, content to just sit beside you all. "you seem wide awake for once" you tease Anakin who rolls his eyes in faux annoyance.

"how much can he hear with those on" Rex asks through a mouthful of eggs. you scrunch up your nose in disgust fighting back the urge to gag.

"gross Rex didn't your mom teach you not to talk with your mouth full" he just shrugs unbothered before shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth as well.

"you have the manners of a billy goat you know that?" Ben quips from beside him, shaking his head like a disappointed father. to which Rex almost flips him off but catches himself when he remembers there’s a camper present.

you laugh completely caught off guard by how specific the insult was. before finally answering Rex's initial question "he can hear us just fine if that's what you're wondering"

taking a bite of your food as he nodded not saying anything else, he must have wanted to talk about the Jasmine situation just not in front of Colton. you were internally grateful for him choosing to drop it, not wanting to freak Colton out anymore than he already was.

you let your mind wander as Rex talks to you all about something funny one of his campers did the other night. it's not that you didn't want to listen to Rex just that it was much harder to focus when you had the burning curiosity about where your cabinmate had disappeared too and an unsure feeling in your stomach.

as much as Jasmine was irrefutably a bitch, she was still a living being and you hoped she was okay. the worry must have shown on your face because you suddenly felt Anakin's hand on your leg, it's a miracle you don't jump at the sudden touch. his hand rubbing soothing circles on your knee, the action hidden completely by the table.

you feel your cheeks start to burn as goosebumps spread all over your body, such a simple thing and yet you feel like you're back in high school again. it was a welcome distraction, and shockingly effective as you felt the tension in your shoulders melt away. worries fading into something else. something warm and fuzzy.

it was scary in a way, just how fast you were falling with each small action of his. god you dreaded when this would be over, can your heart even take it?

there's a call from the front of the hall. Windu, Bail, and Qui-Gon all stood in a line waiting for everyone's attention. when it's finally quiet enough for them to talk Windu steps forward.

the tall brooding man looking more stern than usual as he began to speak. "Alright everyone we have a few updates for you all, for starters i'm sure a lot of you have heard that one of the Counselors has gone missing." he walks slowly back and forth as he talks, making sure to look across everyone.

"well the good news is we've made contact with her and she is safe." there are a few relieved sighs heard around the room but for the most part everyone just remains silent or gives a shrug of their shoulders. "however we would like to take this as a reminder that you are not allowed off of campgrounds without permission especially if you are on duty. you have a responsibility to your fellow staff members and the Campers you're looking after."

he comes to a stop in the middle of the room, leaving a small pause in his speech to let his words sit in. "now i won't go into any more details but for the remainder of the day we'll be having one of the swing counselors take over for the missing counselor's kids. so please continue business as usual."

with the lecture out of the way, Qui-Gon steps up and gives a much more encouraging message, mostly just to lift up the spirits. Bail chipping in every once in a while with a joke before the three of them made the synchronized closing statement to 'have a good day'.

it all seemed to help Colton calm down at least though the question still remained of where the hell Jasmine was. "do you think you could get the details Windu was so forthcoming about?" Anakin asked somewhat sarcastically to Ben who simply shrugged.

"probably not from Windu but i'll check in with Jinn before i head to my activity center" Ben says before tossing a piece of kiwi in his mouth from the small assortment of mixed fruit on his tray, to which Anakin responds by stealing one of the cherries to eat for himself.

"i thought you don't like eating this early?" you question him with a raised brow. Anakin shrugs, biting the cherry off the stem and eating it before putting the stem in his mouth.

your brows crease together in utter confusion before he pulls the stem out of his mouth, a knot now directly in the middle of it that you can't seem to look away from as he speaks. "today’s different, i've been up way earlier than usual." you just give him a small hum turning away from him and looking down at your plate.

feeling much too hot, between his hand that still remained on your knee and how casually he knotted that cherry stem you felt dizzy. you spare a glance at Ben and Rex to see if they saw how suddenly flustered you seemed. thankfully both men were too busy conversing with each other to notice.

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it's not until lunch that you guys get an answer for what happened to Jasmine, the woman in question still not back on campgrounds. "i was going to just send a text when i found out but figured it’d be easier if i just waited till now" Ben said as everyone walked in line together. trays in hand, as you all slowly loaded up your trays with your personal food preferences.

somehow Padme and Ben got to the lodge hall at the same time you, Rex, and Anakin did, usually one of you always managed to beat the other group. the campers almost never allowing you to leave at the same time. "so what'd you find out?" you ask while grabbing one of the pre-wrapped sandwiches.

"it's…i'll tell you all when we sit down" fair the other counselors were in line with you guys and this information wasn't supposed to even be known outside of the camp directors.

"did you already tell Padme?" you ask while, nudging your head in her direction. she somehow managed to get ahead of you all by three people.

"yea, i told her before the campers even got to the zipline first period" you nodded wondering silently if that's why her mood seemed sour. she was upset earlier but it was more worry and annoyance, now she just seemed straight-up angry. Veiled very thinly by her usual calm aura.

you stick your hand into the next bin without really looking only to come out empty-handed. a frown now gracing your features as you realize they had run out of pudding cups.

you give a disappointed sigh and grab one of the jello cups in the bin next to it, you had nothing against jello other than the texture so it's not like this was a big deal you'd just gotten used to a routine and unfortunately set yourself up for disappointment when doing so. wouldn't be the first time you did that and certainly won't be the last.

you make your way out of the line to your usual table alongside the boys. and when you finally sit down you don't get much time to mope before Anakin takes the jello cup off of your tray and exchanges it with the last pudding cup his pudding cup.

"you don't want it?" you tilt your head at him and he gives a nonchalant shrug.

"i like these better anyway" bullshit, you'd never seen him grab the jello cups and you could read it on Ben's face that he didn't believe a word Anakin was saying either.

"it's fine i don't want it" you insist and he scrunches his nose up as you try to put it back on his tray, swatting your hand away before you succeed.

"what'd you find out Kenobi?" Anakin asks changing the subject before you can protest again.

"other than you being an absolute sap when you're actually into a girl you mean?" Ben teases and you want to remind him once again that you're fake dating, as if he doesn't know- but the blush on Anakin's cheeks stops you.

it's gone before you can even process whether you were imagining it or not as Anakin rolls his eyes. "Jasmine, what'd you find out about her Ben" he says before taking an annoyed bite of his sandwich.

"right, so Jinn didn't tell me the exact timeline of events but what i've got is that she snuck off sometime last night and left camp to go hang out with some friends" you chime in quickly when you remember her not being in the room the night before.

"she walked the kids to the cabin after dinner and then left me and Padme alone with them. that must have been when" Ben nods seemingly remembering that Padme had said something similar to him when he told her.

"right well turns out her and the group she was with got caught drinking and driving, half of them are underage too. they were all detained and a few of them are being faced with charges" alright well that's certainly not what you were expecting, not that you were entirely sure what to expect.

"no way! is she one of the ones facing charges?" Rex asks in just as much shock and confusion as you, Ben shakes his head no.

"but she's definitely facing repercussions here. they want to fire her" it made sense after all if parents found out they'd throw a fit, rightfully so. you'd be upset too if you found out someone who's responsible for your kid was caught drinking instead of looking after them.

"what's stopping them?" you ask and this time Ben shrugs completely unsure. it's not like the camp was understaffed in any way, there was no real reason you could think of for why they'd keep her on.

"they're probably still discussing everything with the higher-ups" Ben concludes, finally digging into his food as he lets the information sit in.

"she'll probably be fired by the end of the day, i can't see this being swept under the rug the same way last year's incident was. sure no one spoke up then but really there's no way they didn't catch wind of the situation." Rex says in between sips of water.

"well she certainly found one of the quickest routes to get out of being a camp counselor" Anakin says, still unable to handle serious moments without making jokes.

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sure enough that night after dinner you and Padme had come back to Jasmine's side of the room completely cleared out. Opal the swing counselor who took over for her all day was there instead, unpacking a bag clearly being promoted to a full-time counselor.

the first thing you'd noticed about Opal was her height. you could tell she was tall earlier from afar but seeing up close was a little jarring. she practically towered over both you and Padme, the legs of a model Padme had said and you couldn't agree more. She was stunning honestly, with curly copper red hair like fire that framed her face, and pale freckled skin.

she turned to you both with a smile on her face as she introduced herself. "hey i'm Opal" it was more so directed towards you than Padme. a small reminder that you were the only new staff member, although they didn't know each other personally they knew of each other.

"y/n" you greet, mirroring the smile on her face and extending your hand which she promptly shakes. there's a small awkward silence that follows over you three, the sound of all the kids in the room besides yours providing a comforting ambience.

"is it too much to bring up the obvious elephant in the room…. or rather the lack of" Opal says while scratching the back of her neck and you can't help but snort, which leads to Padme giggling and sure enough all three of you are laughing together.

her comment broke the ice for sure, the three of you sitting on the lower bunks now just chatting- mostly shit-talking Jasmine but that helped lead to more basic getting-to-know-you questions. you're not sure when or how the topic eventually got to Anakin but you were suddenly wishing to be anywhere but in that room.

"so seriously how'd you get together? you two are seriously the cutest couple ever!" Opal's excitement for you was infectious and god did it make you feel guilty. Padme gave you a quick look, one that only the two of you would understand. the question of if you'd be telling Opal the truth or not hidden behind her amused smile.

"oh you know… it wasn't all that special- we just realized we both liked each other and" you make a clicking sound whilst intertwining your hands and Opal nods seeming to understand what you were trying to say.

"that makes sense, you know pretty much everyone was waiting for it to happen. i think some of the other counselors even had bets going" you couldn't hide the shock on your face and the way your brows shot up. sure the speculation made sense to some degree after the rumor Ahsoka started but she said it like they'd all been thinking it long before that rumor started.

"what made you guys think we were into each other? i mean besides the fact that we obviously were- since we're dating and all…" you give a strained smile feeling very much like an idiot for asking that. not to mention how terrible of a save that was, you could only hope she didn't see through that shitty recovery.

"i think how quickly you guys got close is what started it. then of course when he started showing up to breakfast for you that pretty much had everyone locked in on the fact he was into you. and we all saw how you look at him so it was no secret the feelings were mutual" oh you were going to throw up- they all saw the way you looked at him!?

here you were thinking you'd been discreet when clearly the only person who didn't notice was the very man you'd been ogling. you bite back the urge to freak out and put a smile back on your face. "oh right" you give a forced laugh, picking at the lint on your blanket.

did people really think he started going to breakfast for you? that wasn't the case at all, although now that you thought about it you never did truly question it- why had he started going to breakfast? surely it was something Padme related… but he always sits with you so maybe..

"Theo just threw up!" Quinn said slightly out of breath as she ran into the room, completely interrupting your thoughts. the three of you are all on your feet instantly, rushing into the connected room confused about how you would have missed hearing that.

Theo was stood in front of a pile of vomit shaking, his body probably still calming down from the adrenaline spike. he looked mortified the poor kid, you push past your weak stomach and go to stand next to him rubbing his back gently. "hey buddy let's go get you cleaned up okay? and then i'll walk you to the camp infirmary" Theo nods as tears begin to well in his eyes while you guide him out of the room.

you hear Padme telling all the other kids to go back to what they were doing while her and Opal clean up just as you're leaving the room and walking to the bathrooms. you help clean off his face and then his shirt which thankfully didn't get much vomit on it compared to the floor.

Theo is looking off to the side as you continue to wipe the shirt as best you can, avoiding eye contact from embarrassment. you can't help but sympathize with him, honestly throwing up in front of everyone was one of your biggest fears when you were in school. "you alright bud?" he gives a small nod.

"you don't have to be embarrassed it happens to the best of us you know" he doesn't say anything so you just give him a sympathetic smile before deciding to share an embarrassing story of your own.

"you know, one time when i was your age i really had to use the bathroom. but i hated using public restrooms." you begin, standing up and tossing the paper towel in the trash on the way out of the bathroom.

"so i held it as long as i could which apparently wasn't that long at all because i ended up peeing myself about an hour later." Theo's eyes widened, his head whipping towards yours in surprise.

"no way! at school!?" you can only nod the embarrassment still there even after all these years.

"oh yeah, worst day of my life. i thought id be made fun of for the rest of eternity after that. thankfully everyone moved on- i mean i did get teased a little but not nearly as much as id thought i would" maybe you should of left that part out, that would not ease your worries if you were him.

he doesn't seem to care though, just happy to have a less embarrassing story to compare his to. he still looks pale, his hand resting on his stomach which is still bothering him but at least he's in higher spirits.

you're about halfway to the infirmary when you hear someone call your name from behind you. when you look back you see Anakin jogging towards you, a concerned look on his face. "hey what're you doing out here this late?" your question makes his lips twitch up into a smile.

"i could ask you the same thing" he throws back and looks down to the camper beside you, when he sees how pale the kid is he gestures to continue walking. "i usually go for a walk around campgrounds before heading in for the night. Ben and Jacob can handle the kids without me" he says with a shrug as he answers your question.

"it's nice, usually quiet since pretty much everyone else is inside" he looks down to Theo again putting on a sympathetic look. "everything alright with you kid?" Theo shakes his head, giving a defeated sigh as he slumped forward.

"no i threw up in front of everyone" Anakin's brows crease in concern but he also takes one step back. you have to physically bite your tongue not to laugh.

"aw man i'm sorry that must of sucked" Theo nods and places both his hands over his stomach and mumbles 'i think i might again' and this time you take a step back as well. being vomited on by a kid is not a story you want to go home and tell Honey about.

"alright try and hold it in until we get inside the infirmary; but if you can't, run to the grass" the shaky thumbs up he gives you wasn't exactly reassuring and not even a few seconds later he's running off the trail to the grass and spilling his guts.

you turn away completely unable to handle the view without feeling queasy yourself. you can see Anakin grimace as he watches the two of you. he walks over to the kid for you clearly having a much stronger stomach as he rubs his back. "there ya go just get it all out" you hear him say from behind you followed by a mumbled "dude..what did you eat".

you turn back to them once he stops, eyes locked on Theo. he's once again shaking pretty bad from the adrenaline, you wish you had been more help right then.

"do you want me to walk him the rest of the way?" your eyes flicker up to Anakin's upon hearing his question. "i don't mind, plus it looks like he might need to throw up again" you couldn't ask that of him, this was one of your campers- well Opal's now but you'd been the one to say you'd bring him so you needed to be the one to do it.

"go back to your cabin y/n, i've got it" it wasn't a question this time, authoritative honestly. "if they send him back i'll walk him over to you guys, but i doubt it with the state he's in. they'll probably have him there for the night to watch over him."

you're about to protest and verbalize your thoughts when he speaks again, already starting to walk away with Theo in tow. "it's fine y/n relax, go before i call Padme and force her to come grab you" you huff crossing your arms and he just smiles, walking backwards now so he can look at you better.

"you're gonna fall if you keep walking like that Skywalker" you tease, somewhat hoping he does trip just to say 'i told you so' but he doesn't. just shrugs before sending you a wink and turning back around.

you feel your cheeks burn as they walk away, did that wink actually mean something or was it just friendly? there was no one else around for it to have to mean more- no one to pretend around besides Theo. that little boy was much more preoccupied with his nausea to care though.

you shake the thoughts from your head, spinning on your heel and heading back to the Naboo cabin.

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the next day proceeded relatively normal, Theo did end up having to stay in the infirmary overnight and the nurse said they were going to keep him there for the day to make sure he was truly okay before sending him back.

the only real difference was now learning to navigate your usual morning routine with a third party. don't get it twisted Opal was easy to get along with, you just weren't used to having such an active counselor working alongside you two.

it was refreshing and unusual in a good way. it made getting ready and having the kids ready at the same time a lot easier. sure Jasmine wasn't the worst at helping with the kids but honestly she did the bare minimum so to have someone going out of their way to help was definitely a welcome change.

"hey y/n?" you turn towards Opal as you all walk towards the lodge hall for breakfast. she's tying her hair back with a silk scrunchy as she speaks. "umm you're friends with Rex right?" there's a small blush growing on her pale cheeks and you can't help the smile growing on yours.

"yeah we're pretty close why?" she lets her hands fall to her side, patting the sides of her thighs as she thinks about how she wants to word her next sentence. you're instantly drawn in, standing side by side with her now.

"is he you know… seeing anyone?" she seems unsure with her question, like that wasn't the right one she wanted to ask. you smile, shaking your head no.

"you should sit at my table today, where do you usually sit?" Opal's face turns red enough to rival the color of her hair.

"oh no i can't i-" she clears her throat, wiping what you could only assume were now sweaty palms onto the jean shorts she had on. "i usually sit with my friends or well acquaintances i guess? we're close but like we never talk outside of camp."

you give a teasing smile as you enter the lodge hall, and she folds in on herself. which looked seriously awkward for a girl as tall as herself, but it was cute. "oh come on it'll be fun, you can sit next to me if it's sitting next to Rex you're worried about"

if you could take a picture of the look on her face rn you would print it out and frame it. "thanks for the offer i'm good" it was almost robotic and mixed with stutters as she spoke. you gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, which was a bit of a feat with how tall she was but you got it in the end.

"alright but the offer will stay open" she gives you a soft 'thanks' before walking off to her friends table completely skipping the breakfast line. you were a little concerned until you saw one of the girls at her table hand her their chocolate muffin.

as soon as your tray is full you head towards your table, taking the rightful seat beside Anakin- who seems to be back to his usual display of exhaustion. "that didn't last long did it" you snort, nudging the boy with your elbow. he simply grumbles, words so slurred together you can't make out what he is attempting to say at all.

"he'll be alright" Rex said with a shrug once again talking with his mouth full, yeah you definitely couldn't see the appeal here but good for Opal.

"so Anakin says you got a sick camper?" Ben asks curious for more details, you could only guess Anakin had mentioned the situation in passing before he crashed for the night or perhaps on the way to breakfast in his hazy state.

"yea one of Jas- Opal's campers, poor kid was vomiting repeatedly. they're keeping him there till they're sure he's okay." Ben cringes suddenly wishing he hadn't asked as he looked down at his food. the oatmeal he'd chosen not feeling like the best choice he could have gone with.

"sorry…" he simply waves you off before shoving the bowl of oatmeal to the side and sticking with the bowl of mixed fruits. your eyes locked onto one of the cherries in the bowl, thinking back to what Anakin had done yesterday morning. you kinda wished he was more awake just so you could see him do it again.

you shake the thought from your head not before sparing a small glance at Anakin, he was as usual half asleep. his eyes closed as he leaned on his palm the only indication that he was awake was the lack of snores. he looked so pretty, and peaceful.

there's a small kick from under the table that pulls you back to reality, a knowing smile on Rex and Ben's face… maybe that small glance was a lot longer than you'd thought.

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"this is a terrible idea" Rex grumbles while fumbling with the threads of his friendship bracelet- or well what is supposed to be one. he still hasn't gotten the hang of it, and in his defense, you'd all decided against having the campers do it since he and Anakin couldn't figure it out during staff week.

however, Ahsoka had offhandedly mentioned wanting to make some for the friends she made at camp and you figured that since you knew how to make it everything would work out. so here you were right before all the campers arrived for the first period trying to teach both of them how to make the more simple design so that if they were asked for help they could give it.

"come on Rex it's not that hard" you continue to weave the strings in the right pattern as he watches trying desperately to figure out how you were doing it. "even Anakin's figured it out now"

this time Rex scoffs "that's because he doesn't have sausage fingers like i do" he wasn't wrong, Anakin and Rex's hands were equally as big but Rex's fingers were thick. almost to the point they looked swollen which was definitely not helping him keep hold of the strings.

"well two out of three of us can do it, that should be enough" Anakin said while tying off his bracelet the way you'd shown him. it was light blue and gold, and surprisingly as good as yours.

Rex sighs throwing his pile of knotted strings to the side. "i'm over it, you two can take care of everything today i'll just make sure all the materials are out and not being misused" he stands up heading to sit on a stool in the middle of the room before the kids arrived.

"here" you turn to Anakin who has his bracelet extended towards you.

"you're giving it to me?" he chuckles, gently grabbing your arm and pulling it towards him so he can slide the bracelet over your hand and tighten it to your wrist.

"Yeah why not, they're friendship bracelets right? it'd be weird to make them for ourselves" you look down at it on your wrist, unable to stop the smile before looking down at your own.

"mines pink and gold… i can make a different one-" he cuts you off by sticking his hand out to you.

"no i like that one go ahead" you stare at him for a moment, slightly dumbfounded as you distinctly remember him saying he hated the color pink when you'd mentioned it was one of your favorite colors.

nevertheless you oblige, sliding it over his large hand and tightening it on his wrist just like he'd down for you. you stick the hand with his bracelet out next to the one with yours and smile. "look we made them match on accident"

"alright lovebirds let's go the kids are coming in" Rex interrupts the moment between you too as groups of kids start filing in. you flush and walk over to the front of the room ready to begin the day.

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Ahsoka clocked the matching bracelets on you and Anakin's wrists immediately. she even chose to sit directly next to you at your table for once instead of Anakin's just to quiz you.

or maybe torment you was the better word "oh come on how can you still deny he likes you y/n, he made you a matching bracelet!" she whisper shouts at you and you're forever grateful that Anakin is busy helping a girl from his cabin, Chloe, who's sat on the opposite side of the room.

"they're friendship bracelets Ahsoka- Friendship is in the name. you gave me one for goodness sake" the young girl groans frustratedly at you, running her hands through her black hair. you pointedly shake your wrist in front of her, the bracelet she'd given you on display with a few from the other campers that had been given to you throughout the day.

"that's different" this time you groan frustratedly, running a hand tiredly over your face. "look i didn't just give you one, i gave Colton one, i gave Mia one, i gave Rex one and Anakin one- i even made one to give to Ben and Padme!" you stare at her with a raised brow letting out a soft 'okaaaay'.

"Anakin only made you one, he hasn't made Ben or Rex- or padme one" she put some emphasis on Padme's name that had you rolling your eyes.

"we're adults we don't make friendship bracelets for all our friends" she deadpans before looking straight at the pile of friendship bracelets at your side that you did in fact make for all of your friends. "i'm an outlier!" you defend yourself and she huffs deferred but not defeated.

"alright guys we should probably start cleaning up if we want to make it to the lodge hall for dinner first" Rex calls from where he's sat. he'd been stationed on the stool all day with self-imposed string-cutting duty. a few kids had asked him for help throughout each period only to quickly realize why he wasn't teaching them shortly after.

there was a bunch of disappointed voices as they all started complaining, which was how it'd gone all day with each period. none of the kids wanting to stop or just whining if they hadn't finished the bracelet they were working on. "yea, yea we know but if you really want we can just do this again the day after tomorrow." this only elicited more complaints, some of the kids confused on why they couldn't do it tomorrow.

"you complain now but you'll have fun tomorrow it's Canoe day" tomorrow all activities centers would be shut down for the day, and everyone in the camp would be out on the lake in groups of 2-4. it was supposed to be a fun little water day activity for everyone since you didn't have to stick with your specific periods.

the lake was closed off at a certain point with rope floaters so that no one went past it. this way the kids could go on their own canoe without staff members if they wanted. there was even a cookout and bonfire later in the evening where everyone could roast smores.

it was a camp tradition and you were excited to participate in it. "alright you guys heard Rex come on let's clean up" they don't protest as much when you're the one saying it which makes you smile and Rex complained about how 'unfair it is' and that 'they favorite you'.

you play with the bracelets in your hand while looking down at the one on your right wrist. the one Anakin gave you. would he think it was odd you put all the other bracelets the campers gave you on the opposite wrist? you'd seen him get a few bracelets from the kids as well but he hadn't put them on. which honestly was more odd than what you were doing.

"hey i've got a question for you" Anakin pulls your attention, placing his arm over your shoulder as he walks with you and everyone else to the lodge hall. he pulls you close to him, creating a small private bubble for just the two of you as he speaks. it's overwhelming in a way, his cologne wafting into your nostrils from how close you were.

"the floor is yours" you say and had he not been holding onto you, you'd have done a dramatic bow.

"you remember how i said i liked to go for walks after dinner?" you nod and he continues "well i was wondering if you wanted to join me, it could be fun" you raise a brow at him confused and unsure as to why he'd want that.

"it will really sell it for the rest of the camp that we're dating" he adds when you don't answer back immediately. right that made sense plus well you guys were proper friends now, it made sense for you both to hang out one-on-one.

"yea sure that sounds fun" he gives you a bright cheesy grin before letting his arm slip off your shoulder. his touch leaving you only briefly before he's placing his hand on the small of your back instead.

it makes your cheeks burn, you have to fight every cell in your body to not shy away. Anakin doesn't seem to notice or at the very least care, you shouldn't be surprised by that anymore though.

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you spent the entirety of dinner thinking about Anakin's hand on your back instead of paying attention to the conversation Padme and Opal were having beside you, as well as ignoring the way Ahsoka lifted Colton's headphones to whisper to him, probably about you and Anakin judging by the way she kept glancing at you throughout the conversation from directly across you.

Padme finally asks you what's going on after you've all walked back to Naboo cabin for the day. the kids all settling in and giving a warm welcome back to Theo who was no longer a sickly pale color.

"you've been out of it since you sat down with us at dinner, is everything alright?" she pulled you aside from everyone, including Opal in hopes she could get some actual answers.

"yeah i'm fine just sorta been lost in thought" daydreaming more like- she gives you a look and you just smile nervously, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she sees right through you.

she looks ready to push further but gets interrupted when your phone buzzes in your pocket. it's Anakin letting you know he was outside the cabin waiting for you. you look up meeting Padme's face, she's got a smug smile having seen the message that he sent.

"it's not what you think" you begin to defend and she just looks even more smug somehow. "no seriously Padme this is purely a platonic hang out" she throws her hands up while taking a few steps back.

"i didn't say anything" she laughs and you glare at her. there was no real malice behind it of course, you both knew that… but if looks could kill. 'your face says it all' you mumble and she sticks her tongue out at you. "go hang out with your boyfriend y/n, he's waiting" she practically sings it and you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

"fake boyfriend!" you whisper shout the correction but she's already left you alone in the hallway. you let out an annoyed sigh before exiting the cabin.

Anakin's sitting on the cabin's porch fence, scrolling on his phone as he waits for you. the second he hears the door open and locks eyes with you there's an infectious smile on his face. one that has you beaming just as brightly.

"ready?" he asks, standing up and already starting to walk off. you follow along, picking up the pace so you're side by side. he leads you away from the cabins and towards one of the forest walking paths.

"i thought we weren't supposed to walk these paths at night?" your question doesn't deter him as he continues to walk, the crunch of twigs beneath your feet filling the small void of silence along with the crickets chirping.

"we aren't supposed to in the dark, but as far as i can see it's still light out" he says and points up to the sky, the sun has almost fully set. the sky a deep cool blue that's just barely bright enough with all the stars to see where you're going.

"rule breaker" you snort, and he shrugs looking up to the sky as he walks. his feet avoiding certain tree roots with practiced ease. showing just how often he'd walked the path.

"i prefer rule bender" he says while looking down towards you. "it's fine we'll walk this way for a few minutes and then we'll end up in front of the lake" he points off the pathway making you raise a brow. "trust me, i've done this a thousand times"

"what made you start doing this anyway?" you ask curiously, following closely beside him as he leads the way.

"Ben has worked here longer than me. when i started he took me out for a walk my first night for some fresh air since i was nervous" he jumps onto a boulder in front of you, pulling himself up before sticking his hand out to help you up as he speaks. "it sorta became a tradition for us each night that year, didn't last though clearly for him anyway."

once you're up on the boulder beside him he jumps down. "how come he never joins you now?" you ask from above him, he holds his hands out so he can catch you when you jump.

"we hadn't been placed in the same cabin my first year, it's much easier for one counselor to slip away instead of two of the three." you jump and he catches you with ease, gently setting you down on the ground. his arms linger for a few seconds around your waist before he lets go, making you shiver. "this way"

"do you have any traditions like that with Honey back home?" this time he asks the question, and you ponder for a moment as you both approach a clearing leading to the lake.

"nothing that involves walking at night, kind of a dangerous game to play as two women who definitely do not exercise the way we should" he laughs and you simply admire the way his eyes crinkle at the edges when he does.

"we do have movie nights every friday, we consistently have a growing list of movies we want to watch together so we pick a random one depending on our mood for the day and then make some popcorn and snuggle up on the couch." Anakin nods, kicking some small rocks into the shallow part of the lake as he listens to you.

"how do you manage every friday night?" he asks, coming to a full stop when he realizes you're not next to him anymore.

"we live together" you answer simply, while untying your shoes. he looks pretty confused before it clicks what you're doing.

"must be nice, me and Ben have thought about moving in together but we also think one of us would kill the other- i think the only thing keeping me safe now are the kids" you try to hold back a laugh but fail, Anakin just rolls his eyes continuing on back towards the campgrounds.

"it's definitely a little bit of a challenge at first, but once you figure out what works it's great." a comfortable silence falls over you two.

you keep your eyes out towards the lake, enjoying the way the stars reflect off the cold water. it's not till you turn back to Anakin that you see he's already staring at you. a soft look on his face that you can't quite read.

"we should probably head back to our cabins" he says softly, not wanting to break the silence. "busy day tomorrow" he adds voice barely above a whisper. it's strange the pull you feel towards him in this moment. it's always there but this felt different. like there was a shift in the air.

he holds his hand out and you feel your heart hammer in your chest as you take it without hesitation. and when he intertwines his fingers with yours you think you may just faint. this was different, not a sole around to see you two and yet here you both were.

"this is an interesting little relationship you and i have" he jokes and you can't help but giggle. he swings your hands beside you both as you guys walk. bright smiles that could outshine the sun on your faces. an interesting little relationship indeed.

you had to tiptoe back into the staff bedroom, everyone already asleep as you'd accidentally been out a lot longer than you'd intended. flopping onto your bed with a mix of excitement and exhaustion as you do your best to contain your giggles.

you stare up at the bottom of the top bunk, finally allowing it all to sit in. every little thing you'd done together, each thing he'd done swirling around in your head. oh you were so about to get the biggest 'i told you so's' in the morning, and you know what? you weren't even mad about it.

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"oh my gosh.. oh my gosh!? OH MY GOSH!" Padme's voice rang in your ears as she jumped up and down excitedly at the news, you decided to tell her the second she got back in the room from a shower before Opal did. you'd only just woken up, hadn't even gotten the chance to message Honey about it.

if you hadn't covered your ears you were pretty sure you might have gone deaf. "i knew it! i so knew it- i told you so didn't i" she's shaking you now, your head wobbling back and forth with each jostle.

"Padme… i love you but i think i'm going to pass out if you keep whipping me around like this" she releases your shoulders only to wrap her arms around you and deathly bear hug.

"i'm sorry i can't help it, i just knew he liked you. you two make the cutest couple!" woah, you pull back at that- couple? i mean it's not like you'd both confessed. well maybe indirectly but you definitely were not dating yet. not for real anyway… right?

"uhh Padme we're still just fake dating" she deadpans at you and the fire behind her eyes makes you think she just may start jostling you around again.

"nope i refuse to accept that as a reality." you give her a look, ready to tell her that's not how that works but she puts a finger over your mouth keeping you quiet. "i need you to think about what you just said and then think about last night again and try to tell me that you're not actually dating."

she moves her finger from your mouth and you give it a few seconds to test if she's serious. when you realize she is in fact you open your mouth once again to deny it but are promptly shut down but her finger on your mouth again a soft 'shhhhh' coming from hers.

you sigh, pulling back from her. "alright i'm not going to say it but just know i'm thinking it" she rolls her eyes completely over this game of back and forth.

"and just know i rebuke it" you stick your tongues out at each other before smiling and laughing. she leaves you alone in the room as you get changed and ready for the day. you leave yourself with just enough time to message Honey about everything that's happened.

'OMG SO YOU TWO ARE FINALLY TOGETHER FR EEEEEK!!' her message brings a smile to your face that probably mirrored hers. oh how you hate how you're gonna have to shut it down.

'not exactly… we're still just fake dating yk…' theres a long pause on Honeys end before the speech bubble appears.

'girl don't play with me rn 😐' honestly why'd you even bother, nothing you say ends up being taken seriously by anyone.

'i'm serious Honey' you're pretty sure she's fighting you in her mind rn with how quick her responses are.

'y/n i need you to tell me one time you've guessed correctly about your situation with Anakin so far and then i'll believe you' you're stuck staring at your screen in silence. racking your brain for an answer, evidently you take too long as honey follows up with 'yea, that's what i thought'

brutal honesty, not something she uses on you often but clearly she decided this was a special case. 'okay well this was nice but i have to go to breakfast now😁' You try to switch topics and end the conversation there but she brings it right back.

'subject changes don't work on me babes💋💋" alright and that's enough from Honey you snort a laugh before turning off your phone. that girl knew you too well for your own good.

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it's safe to say breakfast went differently today, not just because it was Canoe day which meant it was a more 'extravagant' breakfast- pancakes instead of eggs and French toast instead of breakfast sandwiches- but because now you and Anakin had a slightly unspoken thing going on.

one that you mutually had acknowledged last night without actually discussing it. "mooorning" Ben greets you with a mischievous glint in his eyes as you sit beside Anakin. taking a long dramatic sip of his water before sending you both a wink. Anakin wasn't paying much attention as usual.

he did however shockingly have a plate of food in front of him, and a not-so-sleepy expression on his face. you choose to ignore Ben's teasing and focus on Anakin instead with a raised brow. "like i said busy day today" he says before taking a bite of french toast.

"yea he's been up for the last two hours shockingly, just so he'd be awake enough to want to eat" Ben says annoyed, clearly he'd been the one to have to wake him up.

"how is today's schedule going to go?" you ask not having been given the full breakdown, just the rough summary.

"well after we finish breakfast here, there's going to be free time while a few of the selected staff members help set up all the canoes and rope off the section of the lake we'll be rowing in. once they're done we're free to do whatever we want really, go in the canoes or stay on the lakefront and just chill. until the cookout in the evening followed by the bonfire and s'mores before we all have to turn in for the night- they even extend curfew for this" Rex grows restless at Ben's side the more he explains, like a child ready to be released in a candy store.

you watch him amusedly, and when Ben finally finishes Rex is quick to chirp in- "and this is my year to shine as i've been one of the selected staff members to help set up" he says proudly, puffing out his chest like a mating bird that has you snorting laughing at him.

"yea they selected him this year" you could tell there was a hidden 'and not me' behind Ben's words, but didn't push as he didn't seem too upset by it. just mildly annoyed.

"i think it's great you got selected Rex, it's the perfect chance for you to prove to them exactly why they didn't choose you any of the years prior" Anakin teases and Rex deadpans before sending him a swift kick from under the table.

you and Ben both roll your eyes at their antics. "you two are ridiculous you know" Ben chimes in and Anakin deflects with a 'what it's true'.

"well, i'm just happy because me and y/n are going to be canoeing together" Anakin says while wrapping an arm around your waist. if you had food in your mouth you probably would have choked.

you fight the urge to verbalize a 'we are?' as you take a sip from your water bottle to distract yourself from how much you enjoyed his touch.

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Anakin, Ben, Padme, and you all spent free time together. just chatting on one of the benches outside of the lodge hall, all of the kids from each cabin were playing tag in front of you all in the open grass area as the selected staff members finished setting up for the day.

it was crazy how casually Anakin had slipped into his role as your fake boyfriend but what was even crazier was just how much more he was acting like he was your actual boyfriend since last night. yeah, Honey and Padme may have had a point.

the four of you were all sitting on the bench side by side, packed together like sardines. Anakin had made it a smidge easier for all of you by having you rest one of your legs over his to make more room. his thigh's warmth against the back of yours was easy to get used to.

the big calloused hand of his that rested on top of your thigh however was a little bit harder to brush past. especially with how much you were all joking around, laughter bubbling out of your chests and each time without fail if the joke made him laugh hard enough he'd give your thigh a squeeze.

you were a flustered mess and it was so pathetically obvious, even as you tried to pretend this was all normal. laughing when the group laughed occasionally tossing in your own joke when you'd actually paid attention enough to know what was going on.

despite all of that; when the announcement was made for everyone to come down to the lakefront because they'd finished setting up, you and Anakin were the last to leave the bench. watching as all the kids ran down excited to get in the lake on the canoes the rest of the staff not far behind.

He gives your thigh a pat to get your attention, and you don't waste a second to give it to him. "ready?" it all felt to good to be true honestly but you nod nonetheless, pulling your leg off of his and standing up.

he takes your hand in his this time without asking, tugging you along behind him as you clumsily follow. he's the one to push the canoe out, the one who helps you tighten your life vest before helping you step inside and then climbing in himself. rowing you both out to the outer edge of the lake away from where everyone else was.

Anakin seemed to always be the one to take initiative, to test how far you'd let him go, and each time no matter how small of a push. you felt the pull towards him grow stronger. it was almost ridiculous, but you didn't dare try and fight it. not anymore.

"we should go out further" you blink a few times trying to figure out if he'd been talking this whole time and you'd somehow missed an entire conversation with him. he looks over to you awaiting your answer, when he sees your confusion he juts his chin towards the rope sectioning everyone off to this side of the lake.

"we can't go past the rope Ani, it's against the rules" Anakin freezes completely at your sentence and your brows crease together in concern. did he really wanna go out past the rope that bad?

"i.." he begins but trails off once more a blush growing on his cheeks as he clears his throat trying to push it down. but the way his ears shine a bright red are a dead give away and now you're trying to remember what you said that could have gotten such a reaction out of him. "right, yeah but it's only against the rules if we get caught" he finally recovers.

"i think i'd be kind of hard to miss a single canoe floating past the rope" you cross your arms and he smiles, ever the rule 'bender'.

"they're all to busy enjoying their own time to care, come on it'll be fun" he's already rowing you both to the rope before you even get to answer.

"famous last words" you grumble and he snorts, giving a quick glance behind you to check if anyone’s looking before he lifts the rope up and rows you both past it.

"yet you're doing nothing to try and stop me" he says while continuing to row you both out, slowly getting farther and farther away from everyone. he doesn't stop until you guys are slightly behind the small island that’s in the center. "see perfect"

he moves the paddles into the canoe, laying on his back so that he's looking right up at the sky. "do you do this every year too?" you ask, leaning into your palm as you watch him.

"nah but i've always wanted to" he looks over to you briefly while putting his hands behind his head for a little added cushion. your eyes briefly glancing down as his shirt rides up exposing a little bit of his midriff. "now i have a partner in crime" he jokes and you roll your eyes.

"more like someone to bring down with you" you force yourself to look up at the sky, leaning back on your hands and using the sides of the canoe as support.

"goes hand in hand really" you hum at his response, allowing a peaceful silence to wash over you both. the sound of laughter from everyone in the distance and the warm rays of the sun washing over you two made the moment feel like something out of a movie or maybe it was just the heat making you hazy.

you both sit like that for a while, basking in the sunlight before Anakin's phone vibrates in his pocket. you turn to look at him shocked he risked bringing it out onto the lake, the odds of you two falling out were low but you'd never chance it. "it's Ben, he said they're all looking for us"

"all as in everyone or all as in just our friends?" you ask suddenly panicked as he sits up, tucking his phone back in his pocket before nudging his foot against yours.

"just our friends, relax. we've been out here for thirty minutes it's no wonder they're looking for us" thirty minutes!? maybe the heat really was getting to you because it had not felt like thirty minutes.

good news you and Anakin successfully make it back on the sectioned-off side of the lake without being caught by the camp directors. bad news buckets of surprise water balloons had been brought out.

the kids were going crazy with them, completely targeting the very outnumbered staff. which you'd only realized after you'd stepped off the boat. being met with the feeling of ice-cold water splashing against your head, broken pieces of hot pink rubber falling to the ground.

the culprit, Zion, standing red-handed in front of you with another balloon rearing to go. the second it leaves his hand you run, causing Anakin to be the one hit instead. square in the middle of his back since he was busy putting up the canoe with the others.

the second the canoe is secure he's running after Zion, grabbing a water balloon from the bucket along the way. you load up with a few of your own ready to chase after him as well only to get hit by Ahsoka from your right. you switch targets instantly both of you tossing all the balloons in your hands at each other as you chase after her.

that's how the next few hours are spent until the very last water balloon is used and the sun is halfway down the horizon. the selected staff members already getting the bonfire going before everyone headed over.

the cold water that soaked your clothes mixing with the cool night breeze was lethal as your teeth chatter together. Padme and Ben had run back to the cabins to grab blankets and towels for your friend group, a few other counselors doing the same as well as some of the campers.

Rex, Anakin, Opal, and you found a spot close to the fire as you waited for their return. you did your best to hide your smile as you watched Opal finally talk to Rex for the first time, a blush on both their cheeks as they spoke.

it was adorable, but you had to stop Anakin from teasing them. it didn't take much really just a gentle smack to his arm telling him to stop and that Opal was too sweet to be teased like that.

"for the happy couple" Ben teased, chucking a soft blanket at Anakin before plopping down with Padme and handing Rex a towel. both he and Padme had changed their clothes before returning. the smart idea honestly as the fire was doing nothing with how wet your clothes were.

Anakin wraps what was definitely his blanket judging by the smell of his cologne on it, around you both after gently pulling you into his chest. arms resting around your waist as you practically sat in his lap. if you weren't bordering hypothermia you'd probably be freaking out more, currently however you were just happy to enjoy the warmth of his body.

how he was so warm when he was just as soaked as you, you had no idea. that boy was just a human furnace. "do you wanna go change?" Anakin whispers into your ear, creating a little bubble with just you two in it despite having your friends all around you.

did you want to go change? yes definitely- did you want to have to get up and move in order to do so? no, no you did not. "i'm good" he chuckles, your teeth still chattering as you speak.

"you're freezing" he argues and you simply shrug. he rolls his eyes before fully pulling you into his lap now, wrapping his arms over yours completely cocooning you. you let out a soft satisfied sigh that has him smiling against the back of your neck.

maybe you were hallucinating but you swear you felt his lips press a small kiss before he rested his chin on top of your head. "are you two gonna roast marshmallows?" Padme asks pulling your attention away from the fire. she has a smile on her face you've come to know all to well, as she waits for your answer. holding out the packet of roasting sticks for you to grab and pass to the people next to you.

"yeah thanks" Anakin says reaching out and breaking the shell of warmth as the blanket parts. as he pulls out two sticks before handing the packet to the next person it hits you; just exactly what you were doing and who you were doing it with. the irony of Padme being the one observing you two and you the one currently sitting in his lap.

you're absolutely dumbfounded, the feeling of Anakin's calm breathing against your back only makes it all the more surreal. over a hundred kids and staff gathered around a giant bonfire not even batting an eye at you two. to most of them you were actually dating so it made sense, and honestly you weren't sure how to feel about that.

this was more than just fake dating, that much was obvious even to you now. but if you weren't fake dating and you weren't actually dating, what on earth do you call whatever it is you two are doing right now? you felt your stomach twist in uncertainty the more you thought about it.

"here" Anakin holds out the stick to you, two marshmallows already on one end waiting for you to roast them. you blink a few times before taking it sticking your hand out from the blanket and holding the stick over the fire.

Anakin doesn't acknowledge your silence, probably thinking you were just enjoying the quiet. boy would he be wrong, there was no quiet to enjoy with how loud every thought in your mind screamed. curiosity clawing at you, needing to know just what to label you both as.

"you know when i was younger, my mom would take me and my stepbrother camping with Ben's family all the time." he shifted you in his hold as he extended his own roasting stick over the fire, carefully twisting it as he roasted his marshmallows. "and i still remember the first time i was finally allowed to roast my own marshmallows. i burnt them to a crisp"

"how'd you manage to do that?" you laugh and he smiles against the back of your head, continuing to twist the stick in his hand. you follow his lead twisting your own as he spoke again.

"well for starters i was like 9 and ornery." his voice was low, it rumbled in chest and against your back. "and i was so focused on trying to mess with Ben that i forgot i was even holding a marshmallow over the fire to begin with. the worse part was they all saw the marshmallow on fire and didn't say anything! not even my own mother" you bite back a laugh, poorly as he can very much tell you’re laughing at him.

"my first betrayal- she'd said it was the natural consequence for messing with Ben. she was right of course but i still got upset and threw a fit" you mumble a quiet 'bratty' under your breath and he gently pinches your side making you giggle.

quiet. all the thoughts in your head were gone as you listened to him speak, finishing roasting your marshmallows and then placing them onto the prepped graham crackers with chocolate that rested on top of your knee. the blanket half fallen off his shoulder from all the movement.

you didn't ask when he prepped the graham crackers, it wasn't important. not when you were sat in the lap of someone you'd grown so fond of, biting into s'mores simultaneously and relishing the sweet treat with a childlike fondness.

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the walk back to the cabins was a long one for everybody, you and Anakin lingering behind tiredly hand in hand not quite ready to let go of each other. it's not until you have to part ways to go to your separate cabins that you both acknowledge the fact you have to let go.

everyone else is inside getting ready for bed as you both stand face to face, working up the courage to say goodnight. "you have Marshmallow on your face" you reach up cradling his head with your hand as you wipe off the goo from his cheek with your thumb.

when you try to pull away his hand grabs hold of your wrist, forcing you to continue cradling his head- not that you were against it. the dark of the night was a dangerous thing you found, as it provided you with a cover the morning light didn't. a certain boldness that the sleep-ridden parts of your brain aided in. one that had him leaning down and you pushing up on your tiptoes to meet him halfway.

soft lips pressing against each other, the sugary taste of s'mores on each other's mouths making you crave more. just as you feel his tongue lick at your bottom lip you both hear the sounds of footsteps coming from behind you. pulling away quickly, flustered, very much wide awake and aware now.

Anakin clears his throat after Jacob walks past, not even paying attention as he scrolls on his phone. "i'll see you tomorrow y/n" you can't even meet his eyes, giving him a small nod ready to run back to your cabin as quick as possible.

"goodnight Ani" you say before doing just that.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

you crashed so quickly last night that you'd almost thought it was all just a dream when you woke up. the taste of roasted marshmallow still in the back of your throat the only thing reminding you that it was in fact reality. Holy shit. you kissed Anakin. Anakin kissed you. you both-

"are you okay? you look like you're having an existential crisis over there" you turn to Opal who's sat directly across from you, her phone forgotten in her hand probably from the moment you flung up in bed.

"uhhh- me yea i'm fine.. fine, great actually" your voice raises in pitch with each affirmation and she looks like she believes you less and less each time.

"you look a little pale y/n" you force a smile and give a nervous laugh. pulling yourself up and out of bed so quickly you stumble over your own feet almost crashing into the dresser.

"yep i'm totally cool" you repeat cool a few more times while grabbing your stuff for the day and stumbling out of the room down the hall and into the bathrooms.

as soon as you're inside one of the stalls you pull out your phone plopping onto the toilet lid. 'Honey i'm freaking tf out'

'what happened?' you bite your lip as you type out a very rush 'me and anakin kissed' but reading it back when you hit send it says 'mme ahnd anaki nkissed' thankfully it was legible enough as Honey was quick to send back a response.

'OMG!? 👀👀' you spend the next few minutes frantically typing out barely legible messages explaining what happened in between changing into your clothes for the day.

'this is the greatest day of my life and it's not even me who got kissed' not the time Honey you huff to yourself staying firmly locked in the bathroom stall away from all of your campers and probably Padme with a shit ton of questions if Opal mentioned the state you woke up in.

'what are you so freaked out about? is this not good news?' of course it was but had he even actually meant to kiss you or was it just the heat of the moment? and not to mention now you'd have to face each other and pretend like nothing was different until you got the chance to talk to each other semi-alone on the way to the activity center.

'it's just such inconvenient timing 😭😭' that was the best way you could think to put it.

'inconvenient timing? i'm sorry did you have a plan for a more convenient time in your oh so busy schedule??' you deadpan, at least her attitude was enough to calm you down.

'we beefin rn?🤨🤨' Honey liked the message and you find yourself smiling.

'yea we are let's go 💥👊💥👊' you laugh a little too loud at that, liking the message right before the door to the bathroom opens.

"y/n are you in here?" Mia's voice rang out. you turn your phone off tucking it in your back pocket, ignoring the next few buzzes as you grab your dirty clothes.

"yea i'm right here Mia, everything okay?" you ask while exiting the stall the young girl held out her hair brush and a handful of elastics.

"can you do my hair again? i wanna do bubble braids" you smile softly at her before directing her out of the bathroom with your hand on her shoulder.

"yea come on i'll do it in the other room i just need to put my stuff into my room.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

your able to successfully dodge most of Padme's questions on the way to breakfast. using Opal as a scapegoat by bringing up the fact she'd been chatting with Rex all night. a necessary sacrifice to keep her off your back, you'd find a way to apologize later.

right now your only focus was walking into the lodge hall and- he wasn't there. for fucks sake he wasn't there. your eyes dart over the entirety of the building in an instant. not in the breakfast line, not coming out of the bathrooms, not at the normal table, and certainly not at some other table. shit.

you skip the breakfast line entirely heading straight to where Ben and Rex are sat. "where's Anakin?" the question startles them as they both swivel in their seat turning to where you stood behind them.

"good morning y/n, how lovely it is for us your other clearly less important friends to see you on this fine day" Rex's sarcasm isn't lost on you but you brush it off giving him an 'i'm serious look'

"he didn't wanna get out of bed, it's not shocking with how early he was up yesterday and how late he stayed up but honestly you'd think after the fourth time i pulled his blankets off he'd have given in" Ben answers you relieving you of the fear he might have purposely skipped breakfast to avoid you.

you relax instantly letting out a soft 'thank the gods' before exhaustedly plopping onto the spot next to Ben. practically melting into the table, he gives you an awkward pat on the back for encouragement. "should we be concerned?" you shake your head no at his question, your forehead rubbing against the table with a weird squeak to it as you do.

"great because as much as i'd love a reason to beat up Anakin it's way to early for me to put in that amount of energy" you turn to look at Ben as he speaks, Rex agreeing with him through a mouth full of food. at least this time he keeps his mouth shut as he does it.

was this really a good outcome though? this meant realistically you wouldn't be able to discuss with Anakin until after the first period ended and that's if Rex even left you two alone.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

which he didn't as it turns out, because as usual, the universe loves to torment you. he'd managed to single-handedly keep you two from having even a second of alone time together. since when did Rex talk this much honestly?

not to mention the kids all had to come to you and Anakin since Rex was no help, you really regretted agreeing for the kids to get another day of working on friendship bracelets. the collections of bracelets you received growing larger, to the point you felt guilty not being able to wear them all and just took them off only keeping the one Anakin had made you on.

you could tell a few of the kids were disappointed because of this but you explained to them you'd cherish each one and just didn't want to ruin them which seemed to make them feel a little better even for the ones who didn't truly believe you.

all day it’d been like that, talking to Rex, explaining to the kids something you'd thought they'd already figured out the day prior to canoe day, reassuring them you did like the bracelet they made you even though you didn't have it on. an endless cycle making it hard to breathe when all you wanted to do was take two minutes to yourself in order to pull Anakin aside and ask what that damn kiss meant to him. what it made you.

even on the way to dinner it was never-ending chatter from the kids and Rex, and gods it was just too much. you were overstimulated, about ready to explode at the next person who came up and talked to you. forget talking to Anakin you just needed everything to stop.

"y/n" Anakin's hand on your arm pulls you to a stop, all the kids continue on pass you both along with Rex who takes lead after Anakin sends him a look. "breathe" he slides his hand down your arm and into your palm giving it a gentle squeeze.

you hadn’t realized just how much the world around you was spinning, breathing in much too fast for any oxygen to actually enter your lungs. when he notices you still unable to catch your breath he gently pulls you to his chest, giving you a hug just tight enough for the pressure to help relieve you.

he takes long exaggerated breaths in an attempt to trick your brain into copying him. it works, slowly at first, but eventually you're calm. relaxing into his hold and listening to the sound of his beating heart. it's embarrassing how fast you spiraled without realizing it, but Anakin doesn't say anything.

for once he didn't try to joke his way out of a serious moment, letting you take all the time you needed to recover. when you do finally pull away he doesn't try and ask what was wrong, he lets you find the words you want to say.

"thank you..." you start, looking up into his eyes. he doesn't look scared or concerned not at first glance. not until you really look into his eyes do you see the worry hidden behind his calm expression. putting on a brave face to keep you calm and comfortable. "i'm okay now, promise."

"what happened there?" he finally asks, your hand still in his. his thumb rubbing soothing circles over the cold skin.

"i don't know…today was just a lot" he leads you both to the nearest grass patch to sit down in. you let out a loud sigh opting to lie down instead.

Anakin lays down beside you keeping his eyes up at the stars above you. "Yeah for me too" you look over to him checking to see if he was just saying that to make you feel better. there's a genuine look of exhaustion on his face that shows he isn't.

you both fall into a somber silence and for the first time, you take initiative. your fingers tapping against his making him turn his attention down to your hand. you keep your eyes on the stars but you can see him smile faintly through your peripherals.

he turns his hand up letting you slide yours into his, the mood already feeling much lighter. "you always manage to quiet my mind" you confess, turning your head to his. your noses are so close they're almost touching. its a different kind of overwhelming, the kind with that underlying pull towards one another. the same pull you felt last night when you kissed.

"funny because you always manage to make mine louder" you snort and he laughs "what i'm serious, i've never met someone who takes up as much of my mind as you" the sincerity in his voice is what makes your breath hitch, giving him the courage to continue.

"even now i can't get my mind to stop running with thoughts and questions about you. it's kind of annoying" oh you were in love with him. would you be saying that out loud anytime soon absolutely not. way to soon, but there was no denying it in your heart. the way it swelled from his words before kicking into overdrive.

there's a long pause as you just stare into each other's eyes before you break the silence. "Ani….can you kiss me again?" he takes so long to respond you're almost sure you only asked in your head.

"i like when you call me that" he mumbled, so quietly and quickly you're barely able to catch it before his lips are on yours.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

Oh what a joy it was to tell Honey, Padme and Ahsoka all of this the next day. truly you were ecstatic you'd talked for the rest of dinner together, about anything and everything. eventually landing on the big 'what are we' question. to no one's surprise but your own denial's, he'd asked you out.

now having been dating for the last two weeks of camp. the dreaded day of goodbyes had finally come.

all the campers had left a few days prior leaving just the staff to help clean up and put everything away for the summer. you'd all finished the first day giving you guys the last two days to just chill and hang out together one last time.

you honestly felt like crying as Padme hugged you, neither one of you wanting to let go of the other. "i don't know how i'm going to survive this world without you" she sniffles and you can't help but laugh.

"i think i've rubbed off on you too much, you're starting to sound like me and Honey" you sniffle as well and both pull away laughing at just how emotional you were.

"save some tears for the rest of us" Rex calls from over Padme's shoulders. you flip him off and he does it right back to you before walking over and giving you a proper hug goodbye.

"i hope everything works out between you and Opal" he smiles down at you while pulling away, patting your head like some child. you have half a mind to swat him away but ultimately decide to let it slide just this once.

"alright me next" Opal says engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug "i loved hanging out with you even though it was for a short amount of time, i hope we get to hang out again soon or next summer!" you smile patting her back to let you go so you can breath enough to talk.

laughter bubbles out of you both after the wheeze that leaves your mouth. "we'll see each other again it's a promise" you finally speak. Ben walks up to you now pulling you into a hug as well.

"i am just so grateful that Anakin finally has someone else to bother all the time" he jokes and you hear Anakin gasp dramatically behind him making you snort.

"you're not off the hook Kenobi, you've just gained another person for him to help bother you." he lets out a sigh crossing his arms as he steps away from you.

"i was afraid you'd say that, i suppose i'll just have to learn to live with it." he strokes his beard pretending to truly ponder this over, and you roll your eyes before turning to Anakin.

he was looking at you like a sad puppy and you felt so incredibly guilty as if you'd be leaving him forever. which wasn't the case at all in fact you'd planned a date for saturday night. still he pulled you into a hug holding on like he was going to lose you. it was going to be weird going from seeing him every day to just a few days of the week.

it would be okay though, he would make sure of it.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

Bonus scene (as well as another wee times skip):

"omg i can't believe this is it!!" Honey jumped up and down beside you as you walked towards the restaurant. "i'm finally meeting her this is a dream come true"

"you know i honestly figured you'd be more excited to meet Ben" she just let out another squeal unable to verbally answer. she was excited to meet everyone for different reasons, Padme just happened to be the only person she really cared about. the bestie who helped her bestie as she put it.

the look in Honey's eyes when she laid eyes on her was definitely an i'm either going to faint or scream look. judging by the way she completely froze you guessed fainting was the higher possibility, slowly you pushed her towards the group, already sat amongst a conjoined table outside.

"y/n!" Padme cheered upon seeing you followed by an excited squeal when she saw Honey. "omg! it's good to finally see you in person!" she was out of her seat in an instant, giving you a long hug before her and Honey clung onto each other like long-lost siblings.

"you'd think she was the one introducing me" you joke before turning to the rest of the table and greeting everyone else, giving them all quick hugs before you sat down next to Anakin.

he gives you a kiss on the lips in greeting instead of a hug, putting his arm around your shoulder as you wait for the two girls still hugging to release each other and join you all.

"omg it's so weird seeing you all, i can't believe you're real" Honey snorts, plopping down on the empty seat next to Padme.

"so Opal, Rex, and Ben" she says listing off the last three members and pointing at them for confirmation- not that she needed it.

"it's an honor to meet you" Ben said sticking his hand out to which she happily, albeit shyly, shook.

"what is she famous? who greets someone like that" Anakin jokes and Ben just rolls his eyes, you smack his arm chastising him like a disobedient child to which he gives a dramatic 'ow' while rubbing his arm.

"hate to say it but i'm with Anakin that was oddly formal even for you Kenobi" Rex teases as well and Opal shrinks beside him feeling sympathy for Ben but much to shy to say anything to Rex.

"it was a normal greeting" Ben argues, feeling himself fluster under the spotlight of his friends. now that was rare, and an interesting sight to see.

"alright let's order food i’m starving" Padme pivots the conversation away from Ben's odd behavior.

the group of you all relearning how to navigate with each other along with Honey. it was easy though, everyone clicking into place like pieces of a puzzle. jokes and stories flowing from your mouths without a single awkward pause.

the warm breeze of summer blowing away with the new cool wind of fall with each passing second and shared laugh.

a/n: she’s here 😭 she’s finally here

i shall have my wattpad and ao3 up to date tmr whenever i wake up ✨

i’m going to be completely honest with you guys and say after the 2 am mark i forgot pretty much everything i previously wrote 💀 been writing purely off intuition 😀

anywhooo hope you guys enjoy fr 🫶🏼🫶🏼 you’ve been so supportive and i appreciate ever second of it!

a special thank you to @munsondjarin who is the whole reason this fic was even conjured up and @everydaydreamer who encouraged me to write it as well as let me bounce ideas off of her anytime i needed 💋💋 love you both sm

i’m not sure when the bonus smut chapter will be written or out but i shall keep you all posted and in the mean time i am finally going to write some fall fluff oneshots 🥳🥳 and also im going to be doing the rest of my august schedule

so please send in any questions you have for me surrounding the series, whether it be character info or inspiration or how i can up with certain names and so on✨

i’ll also be posting all of the cut dialogue and possible ways scenes were originally supposed to go (i took ss throughout the process before i deleted anything🙂‍↕️)

now if you excuse me i am going to pass out🥰 have a wonderful days huns Xx <3

tag list: @anakinskwkler @anakinstwinklebunny @divineani @huayan @poppysrin @bxbyysstuff @dollhobigem @skywalkercinema @corio-letit-snow @avatarobsessedgirly @kelsxxyawn @7xss @throughparisallthroughrome @humongouscatfest @rhiannonhippiegirl @akixxrafiiy @ter-luer @w0rsh1psells @bulllsseye @anitaxl @everydaydreamer

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars anakin #anakin imagine #modern!ani #anakin fanfiction #modern!anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin x reader fluff #college anakin #college anakin skywalker #camp au!anakin #camp au #summer love series #queenie’s thoughts xx<3

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