#forge the body and mind alike ❁ headcanons ❁

[valentinoappreciator]

Here is the (for me, lol) long awaited Draal fic that I began working on this morning❤️

Based on an RP with my lovely girlfriend. No warnings, but be advised that Draal has a cock piercing in this piece 👀 pry that headcanon from my cold, dead hands lmao

Media: Trollhunters (Tales of Arcadia)

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Draal the Deadly / Female!Reader

Warnings: Not Applicable

Additional tags: cock piercing, huge cock, rough sex, vaginal sex

Where else to find: AO3 (username TheWeirdDane, title To Train A Trollhunter) link below https://archiveofourown.org/works/44529901

Since tumblr has implemented a text-character limit per post, I'm forced to just give you a glimpse :(

Enjoy the filth, my lovelies!

----------------------------

So apparently there was an entire society living beneath the solid pavement, asphalt, and humans’ feet. This society was made up of trolls, gnomes, and a whole slew of other creatures that you had no idea about just yet.

You had been declared something known as the Trollhunter - an important figure amongst the trolls. The Trollhunter was someone who protected good trolls and humans alike from the bad trolls, known as Gumm-Gumms.

However, having a human Trollhunter wasn’t something that most of the trolls were keen on. When your mentor - Blinkous Galadrigal, known as Blinky - explained the situation to a particularly angry troll, you momentarily feared that this other troll would kill you on the spot.

It spoke with a man’s voice, was a good deal taller than you, had spikes protruding from his back, and had truly magnificent horns on the top of his head. His body was a certain hue of teal, and he had a piercing in his triangular nose.

He snorted in your direction before turning his attention to Blinky who stood steadfast.

“This is our new Trollhunter? Bushigal! I’m the rightful heir!”

“With the proper training, Draal, she—“

The troll - named Draal, apparently - rolled his eyes and poked a short, wide finger into your chest. You took a step back, swallowing hard.

He was right. Whatever ‘bushigal’ meant, she was not meant to be the Trollhunter. There had to be some kind of mistake!

“Please, Blinky, he’s right,” you said, looking to your mentor.

“On the contrary. The amulet called to you. This is your destiny. Don’t mind him, come, your training awaits you.”

Blinky calmly walked towards the tunnel leading to the Hero’s Forge. You had trained here a few times already, but the grandiosity of the place never ceased to amaze you.

However, as you walked, you had the uncanny feeling of being watched; the small hairs on the back of your neck and on your arms stood on end. Your neck prickled. But as you looked over your shoulder, you couldn’t see anyone.

It was just Blinky and you.

“He won’t let it go, will he?” you asked quietly and donned your armour while Blinky started the machine.

“Doubtfully,” he answered in a serious, matter-of-factly way.

You had only trained for a few minutes before the gate to the arena opened. Already breathing hard from the exertion of fighting while wearing the armour, you looked to the entrance - and your heart dropped.

Draal waltzed in like he owned the place. Wearing a smug grin on his face and a kilt around his waist, he walked up to Blinky and you.

“Draal, you’re interfering in important Trollhunter business,” Blinky said firmly while you swallowed hard. Why had Draal followed you?

“That’s precisely why I’m here, Blinky,” Draal replied and sounded way too smug. “I thought I might offer my assistance to the Trollhunter, as a sparring partner.”

“Sp-sparring partner?” you whispered shakily, looking to Blinky.

“That’s preposterous, Draal, she’s still in her early training. She does not yet have the skills to hope to match your… vigorous fighting style.”

Draal laughed boisterously.

“Are you admitting that your little fleshbag protégé isn’t a good enough Trollhunter?”

“Hey! I’m trying my best here,” you exclaimed, puffing out your chest. Draal snorted and glanced at you. There was contempt and disdain in his eyes, like you were nothing more than a worm, and certainly not worthy of him.

Then why was he so hellbent on training you? Something wasn’t adding up.

Blinky was uncomfortably silent.

He could not be considering this.

“Blinky,” you practically pleaded, bringing urgency into your voice, and glanced at Draal who crossed his arms over his broad chest. “You can’t seriously be considering this!”

Blinky looked immensely torn, tapping his many fingers together.

“Well, you could do with some more rigorous and practical training,” he said, but made sure to avoid your gaze.

Your blood froze, and you were pretty sure you exhaled sharply.

“Then it’s settled,” Draal grinned.

[spearingskies]

Tag dump & separator post

Here's the thing. You said a "falicorn is a pegasus."

Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.

As someone who is a scientist who studies pegasi, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls falicorns pegasi. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.

If you're saying "pegasus family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Equidae, which includes things from regular horses to mules to pegasi.

So your reasoning for calling a falicorn a pegasus is because random people "call the winged ones pegasi?" Let's get Kinshi and wyverns in there, then, too.

Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A falicorn is a falicorn and a member of the pegasus family. But that's not what you said. You said a falicorn is a pegasus, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the pegasus family pegasi, which means you'd call horses, mules, and other equids pegasi, too. Which you said you don't.

It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?

[vantablade]

【 🌌 MYTHOPOEIA V. 】

TLDR: A lore/world-building headcanon that focuses on the chronology (in this case, Epochs or definitive eras) of the in-universe of Nocturne’s canon. Also has some information, vaguely, regarding the mythology of divinity and important figures.

An era is defined by the most significant factor of its time. While planets and countries may have their own eras, defined by the reigning monarch or a particular age of change, the Bright Star System, as a whole, follows the timeline of Epochs, which denote significance of a grander scale. As of Nocturne’s position in the chronology, we are in the Sixth Epoch, which would be known by her people’s descendants as the Age of Anarchy. In-universe scholars will argue about the true beginning of the Sixth Epoch, as they argued about the Fifth before it, and the Fourth, and so-on; it is the Epoch’s nature to be debated, discussed, analysed and re-interpreted to fit whatever narrative is best to be served. Epochs are not limited by a particular stretch of time—there is no mandatory “limit” of days, months, years or centuries that permit a new Epoch being determined. Rather, it is determined by a time of significant change that alters how the denizens of Bright Star understand or adapt to their environment. For example, while the Genesis Migration was a significant cross-system event, it did not, on its own, cause enough of a cosmic upset to earn an Epoch-level importance to begin an era. Rather, it was but a mere instrument in the grander scheme of the Age of Champions, the Fifth Epoch.

This headcanon exists to give a context towards the chronology and a greater understanding of the world Nocturne is a mere part of. There will be references towards the in-universe mythology and other significant events that took place far beyond our hero’s birth, but there will be no in-depth description of those events, as I want to keep everything that could reveal too much—or is unnecessary in understanding Nocturne—under wraps. However, hopefully there will be enough information to provide a better grounding of the world Nocturne lives in, particularly if you are interested in combining universes or developing deeper threads with her character.

Despite the fact Nocturne exists in the Sixth Epoch, truthfully there are Seven; the first of all Epochs is known by scholars as the “Zero Epoch”, a time before time, a space before space, where the original Primordial first willed itself into existence. Here is where Essences, the foundation of all life, magic and matter in the Essential Universe, first came into being. It would not be until the First Epoch that actual physical space began to take form, as the Ancients—Gods comparable to the Titans of Greco-Roman mythology, who were more a physical embodiment of the things they ruled over and interpreted to be “carriers” of the Primordial’s divine will where it could not directly enact on its wishes—came into being. These Ancients are also comparable to the incomprehensible deities of the Cthulhu mythos, with titanic, unbearable bodies and minds so alien to us that they evade description or empathy. They are more like machinations of cosmic law, unkillable and undestroyable, for on their shoulders rests the entire Universe.

The Second Epoch is when the Divines, Gods who created “bi-essences” that combined the Primordial Essences into Lesser Essences, came into being as “children” of the Ancients that possessed a sentience closer to the realm of comprehension. They are capable of whimsy, of want, of ire and of fondness. Here, they would be most comparable to most pantheons of deities, with inter-relationships both within the circle of the Divines and with their creations, the Kinetics, pseudo-mortals who co-existed with the Divines and were taught their magic in return of being subordinate with them.

The Third Epoch is the first Epoch marked by a war of tremendous proportion, that resulted in the death of Divines and the weakening of magic that is still felt to this day. Here, the Divine Nolu, the God of Secrets and Mystery, prompted the Kinetics into rebelling against their deities by telling them forbidden secrets of mortality, encouraging them to upheave the heavens and take their power by storm rather than tolerating watered down lessons that kept them under their benevolent Gods’ thumbs. Nolu would abandon the Kinetics during this war, leading to slaughter on both sides, only to return at last moment to assure the death of all Divines—aside from themselves. The Third Epoch was solely this war, though the duration of it is unknown, and the true extent of the damage and knowledge of what the pre-Divine War world was like is knowledge lost, perhaps for eternity. All that is known is that likely it was a time of Edenic bliss, where magic flowed like wine and mortals were cared for by Divines. After the trauma of the War, the Fourth Epoch was birthed: the Age of Ruin, the Age of Loss, the Age of Abandonment.

Kinetics, now scorned by the Ancients whose children they had revolted against and punished by the Primordial who hosted them, suffered the punishment of agelessness. They were removed from the life-death cycle that promised reincarnation and forgiveness of the soul, forcing them to live an eternity of repentance and grief as they watched the world they knew rot into a mere husk of its former self. Magic weakened with nobody there to teach them, and without Divines to create Kinetics with such innate skill, they were condemned to physically reproduce until there were only Mortals.

Mortals lacked the intimate tutelage that gave Kinetics their mastery over the Primordial Essences, or the Divine Essences, and so their powers weakened too. Magical knowledge was not lost completely, but it would take lifetimes to achieve a level that most Kinetics had earned in adolescence. Over time, the era of bliss and magic that had once been an undeniable reality would fade to myth across the Cosmos, with the division of the New Way (the belief that all of this was purely mythology) and the Old Way (the belief that all of this was fact) separating mortals across the Universe, severing some from their magical heritage entirely to make way for man-made scientific advancement devoid of spiritual attunement.

The Spider Star System was a System that followed the New Way, forcing the less-magically repressed mortals—known as Undanes—into hiding lest they be rejected or destroyed for their absurdities. This System would also become the grounds for one of the greatest calamities recorded, with the Genesis Collapse marking a potentially unrepairable wound in the very fabric of reality whose effects are still present today, giving way to the Paroxysms that blight the Bright Star System in the Sixth Epoch. The Bright Star System followed the Old Way, however, and magic is still understood and studied with varying levels of skill and mastery across the System. It was the Genesis Migration that introduced the Genesse people, Undane and Mundane alike, to the cohabitation of magic-repressed and magic-expressive people, though not without duress. It was this discovery for the Mundanes that contributed to the genesis of the Ametsuchi, forged out of hardship, exile and sacrifice brought on by a primal rejection of this magical nature.

The Genesis Collapse was the locus of the Fifth Epoch, the Age of Champions, where it became apparent that Divinity could be reached by mortalkind should the Primordial bestow upon them the capability. The nature of Champions is debated among scholars; some argue that Champions, of which there is only one certainty and one other heavily contested, are the Divines reborn, returned from their celestial graves, while others argue that the Champions are entirely new in spirit as it would be disrespectful to the Divines to ignore the devastation they had suffered at the hands of men. Unfortunately, the effects of the loss of Divines is still felt to this day, as the sole Champion of the people, Genevieve (the sacred figure of the Holy Order), is absent. Whether she perished after the Genesis Collapse or otherwise went to another System or was killed by the Goliath in some unseen battle of tremendous proportion, is completely unknown. Mortals can only emulate what they think she would have done, such as the Divine Right of Kings applied to the Boucher imperial line on Neo, or the Holy Order’s fight against Paroxysms.

The Fifth Epoch is potentially the shortest of all Epochs, having spanned only several generations, perhaps not even a millennium.

The Sixth Epoch, then, is the playground for the plot of this blog and its attached extended canon. It is the Age of Anarchy, the Age of Monsters, of all things Eldritch. It is uncertain when the Sixth Epoch came into play, for some argue it was with the formation of Spider’s Eye as it tried to awaken the Spider-God Goliath, the destroyer of Genesis and the foe of the Champion Genevieve, or with their first use of Chaos manipulation and Paroxysm invocation as a weapon in the assassination of the Green-King Eoin of Namana. It is potentially even incited by the Ametsuchi Massacre, which was tied to the actions of Spider’s Eye and the High King Kazumi Ametsuchi, resulting in Chaotic manipulations and mutilations of all remaining Ametsuchi. The onus of the Sixth Epoch may be debated, but the end of the Sixth Epoch is entirely unknown: some fear that it may never end, others fear that it is the end, but hopefuls pray for a better, kinder Seventh Epoch, just on the horizon of what may be the most horrifying Epoch to exist in.

[hayleyb100]

Cleaved, Part 1

Part 2 - Part 3

⚠️WARNING!⚠️

*A twisted story of Pokemon Sword and Shield. *Lots of fanons. *Everything is headcanon. *It isn’t spoiler free. *SUPER ANGSTY.

*You can’t understand the story to the fullest unless you have read the Shattered I did before! Please read it in prior

Link to part 1

It started off with such a petty thing. Leon didn't like the way Hop was eating on the dinner table, so he indirectly pointed out.

But that day, Hop didn't accept Leon's words like a good boy. He pouted and nibbled his spoon with clear anger.

"Umm, Hop."

That upset expression of Hop just gave an unpleasantness to the older brother.

"Mom isn't even here today so let's not bicker over something petty like this."

Leon was so true to his words. He didn't want to bicker over anything with Hop, because it has been a long, long while since Leon was home the last time. He wanted to see Hop smiling and all but just didn't happen.

"Did you have to boss me around after coming home in months?"

Hop's words just completely caught Leon off guard. He never has seen his little brother with such a harsh tone.

"Hop, I don't like that new attitude."

With sudden sting from Hop, Leon couldn't hide his irateness either. Leon was so used to Hop being an angel who says yes to everything he asks for, so Hop's biting words were doubly upsetting.

"Now listen to you trying to talk like dad." Hop struck right back.

"You weren't even there when I felt the lowest, yet when you are here, you try to be the big guy. Drop it, okay? You're not the Champion to order people around anymore."

Hop just triggered Leon's pet peeve. He was anxious and edgy that Hop won't love him since he isn't the Champion to adore anymore. And Hop's words just proved his anxiety. Leon finally made time to come home for dinner now that he isn't the busy Champion, But this is what he got.

With overwhelming rage, Leon vented his unprocessed words at Hop too.

"I see. So you only adored and loved 'Champion Leon'? Good to know. Now you finally show that the love of yours came from a mere snobbery of bragging that Champ is your bro!"

Two brothers glared at each other. Their peace like thin ice just fell apart instantly. Something so puny spread into a big wildfire of sibling fight.

"Don't put words into my mouth, Lee! I didn't say that!" Hop yelled.

"It sounded exactly that, Hop! And don't you lie to me!" Leon yelled back, even louder.

"Well, it is true that you never show up when you're most needed! So busy being a hero to people of Galar but me!"

"Is that even my fault?! Ever since dad passed away, that's what I had to do! I had to be the adult of the family and to people outside! Do you even know how it feels when you have to stand firm when you are feeling the lowest?! Crybaby like you will never know!"

Alike the pokemon battle, Leon almost trampled Hop in brother's fight. Hop was fuming with anger but couldn't talk back. Leon knew this was wrong, but couldn't stop. He knew he was being so childish to his little brother right now, that he felt downright embarrassed. But his mouth was going against his will.

"Well? Talkback on that, Mr. Know-it-all!"

With the last straw, Hop dumped his spoon on the table and rushed upstairs. Normally, Leon would follow him right away and grab his little brother to comfort him, but he wasn't in the mood. He just sneered and kicked the door open to grab Flying Taxi to go to his villa in Wyndon. He didn't even want to be in the same place as Hop.

______________________________________

Leon lied on the bed in the villa, dead beat from the conflict. After his seething rage calmed down over time, embarrassment and regret took him over.

Where did it start again?

Was it even worth all the fight?

Why couldn't I calmly talk to him?

What is the matter with me?

What is keeping me from expressing my honest emotions logically?

So many questions tailed back. Came to think of it, Leon and Hop never fought like that. Leon couldn't remember clearly when was the last time they had a heart-to-heart chat. Leon was so busy that he rarely made it home. At first, it was painful to hear Hop's disappointed voice over the phone upon saying he can't make it home. But over time, Leon grew so blunt that he didn't even feel sorry.

That's how far they have become. With all the time they spent away from each other, they had lesser and lesser to share. It was no doubt that they cherish one another, but they forgot how to express it. They became so distant from one another, that they feel uncomfortable to indicate their foul emotions and difficulties. Their relationship was forged to be perfect, sugarcoated with a feigned smile. In the end, both of their festered emotions burst out in the worst and clumsiest way possible, with the pettiest trigger.

Only the ticking of the clock broke the silence of the dead quiet room. Leon got up from the bed. He mumbled to himself.

"...I shouldn't have said that."

With that said, he ran outside to fly back to his home in Postwick. He was thinking of how to apologize to his beloved little brother all the way.

_______________________________________

In front of the door, Leon took a deep breath.

"Come on, Leon. You can do this. Just be honest and say sorry. That's why you're here."

But when Leon grabbed the doorknob, vertigo took him over. It was the strangest sensation that Leon has ever felt. He never felt like this even at the presence of Eternatus. It felt as if his whole body float to outer space and someone is stirring through his mind and brain. Leon could only come back to his senses after he kneeled on the floor for a while.

"What was that...?" Leon mumbled again, shaking his head to shake off the dizziness. He got back on his feet to proceed with what he planned for.

Knock, knock.

The door knock never sounded so scary and nervous like this.

However, instead of Hop's teary voice, he was expecting to hear, a voice that sounded so familiar to a wonder came from inside.

"Yes? Who is it?"

When the door opened...

Two Leons were stunned.

[rwby-redux]

Preface

RWBY is the breakthrough anime web series created by the late Monty Oum of Rooster Teeth. Originally teased on November 5th, 2012, and officially debuted July 18th, 2013, the series follows the journeys of four young women enrolled in an academy that trains monster-slaying warriors known as Huntsmen. Set in the fictional world of Remnant, the story initially focuses on the surface-level plot of fighting against humanity’s ancient adversary, the ever-present Creatures of Grimm; over time, it becomes apparent that things aren’t what they seem, as the cast slowly begins to connect a string of heists committed by a criminal syndicate with the violent acts of a terrorist cell. The series is aired weekly on Rooster Teeth’s website, with its main arcs spanning 12 – 16 episodes per volume. In the years following the show’s initial release, RWBY has spawned numerous merchandise and related media, including two spin-off shows, multiple side-stories published as mangas, two standalone books, three mobile games, a behind-the-scenes artbook, and OSTs for every volume to date.

As of Volume 7 there are 98 episodes in total with a collective runtime of 18:52:00, or approximately 1,132 minutes, with more episodes and side content underway.

At best, they’re visually interesting; at worst, they’re disappointing.

Let me take a second to backtrack before the lynch mob starts to sharpen its pitchforks. The series deserves much of the praise that it’s gotten. RWBY was the first American-produced anime to be released in Japan (and if you’re a fan of anime, you know how insane those words sound). The 3D models and animation from Volume 4 onward are breathtakingly stunning, and even before the show made the leap from Poser to Maya, the fight sequences managed to be equally creative and entertaining. The show was nominated for and received multiple Streamy Awards, and was awarded Best Animated Series by the International Academy of Web Television. The Volume 1 soundtrack reached number one on iTunes, beating out the soundtrack for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Such is RWBY’s (and Rooster Teeth’s) reputation that it managed to attract the attention of, and later bring on, industry veterans and vocal legends such as Jen Taylor, Josh Grelle, and Aaron Dismuke.

That’s to say nothing of the fandom this franchise has amassed, of kids, teenagers, and young adults alike. RWBY has generated dozens of forums dedicated to fanfiction, fanart, and roleplaying. Thousands of people the world over have bonded over this show, fans from all walks of life. They’re passionate about this series. The fact that I’m writing this post is a testimony of that. If I didn’t care about RWBY, I wouldn’t be sitting on my couch at 3 AM, hunched over my laptop in my pajamas.

If RWBY is so good (or occasionally threatens to become good), you might be wondering, why, then, does this blog exist?

Well, because…when you stop and look at it critically, it actually kind of sucks.

Despite initially being written by a three-man team, the series is full of inconsistencies and an underdeveloped cast. The characters, especially from Volumes 1 — 3, are full of one-dimensional stereotypes whose contributions to the story amount to a three-word summary: “The School Bully,” “The Wacky Professors,” “The Racist Cop,” “The Cutthroat Bitch,” “The Anime Waifu,” “The Audience Surrogate,” “Discount Elle Woods,” and so on. Fundamental elements of the story, like Aura, Semblance, and Dust, are either poorly-explained or not explained at all, and the limitations of those core concepts can change at a moment’s notice to suit the needs of the plot. The primary antagonist of the first three volumes is universally hated by the fandom for having no discernible motivations beyond being “ambitious and power-hungry,” and having a personality that consists exclusively of irritating smug. The show-writers, despite repeatedly promising queer representation, have failed to make even one of their ten central protagonists queer. This isn’t touching upon the fact that the first openly-gay character on the show was an antagonist, or that the next two were side-characters who were relevant to the plot for all of seven episodes, before vanishing from the story entirely. The two leads that are currently being hyped as our first queer main-cast members have only been repeatedly teased, with said characters never once uttering the words, “I’m bi,” “I date women,” “I’m not straight”—nothing but narrative subtext and playful winks from the VAs whenever a fan asks if they’re queer. Subplots end up having no pay-off or get entirely forgotten mid-volume. The story is so protagonist-biased that the heroes are frequently able to get away with being hypocritical, or committing criminal acts because “it was the right thing to do,” with their POV framed as an infallible “fuck you, got mine” verbal gut-punch to the audience (while other characters in the show, who often make the exact same calls as the heroes, are ridiculed by the show and the fandom). Whenever the story isn’t spray-painting stolen cars and selling them to their original owners, it manages to clumsily handle allegories for real-world issues such as systemic racism, mental illness, abuse dynamics/victim survivorship, and gray morality. The worldbuilding is absent from the main show and has to be supplemented through RWBY’s spin-off series World of Remnant. The story’s setting feels flat and lifeless at times because the “cultures” of this world are never established.

The list goes on and on.

So if this show has so many flaws, why are we still having this conversation?

Because I’m captivated by the untapped potential of this world. When you brush away all of the detritus, you can see the wealth of raw material buried beneath. This is a world where the gods have forsaken their creations, with one having even deliberately created the monsters that hunt humanity. The two characters who are central to the history of this world are tragic figures, one cursed with immortality as a punishment for demanding that the gods revise the first draft, and do away with needless death; and the other, cursed to ceaselessly reincarnate into the minds and bodies of like-minded souls, waging a war of attrition against a person warped beyond recognition by the capricious spite of the gods. This is a world of forgotten magic, of shifting allegiances, of characters embarking on personal journeys and unearthing deadly secrets. It’s a story of people from all walks of life learning to cooperate and work together, forging friendships and alliances in order to face the challenges that lie ahead.

It could easily have the bones of an epic fantasy series as long as it remembers to drink its milk.

RWBY’s issues aren’t insurmountable. Most of them are the byproduct of the series’ blind adherence to “rule of cool,” the motto that practically codified the beginning of the show. From Volume 4 onward, the series took a radical shift in tone that tried to be “more mature,” and only succeeded in making the earlier episodes absurd in hindsight. Why, in Volume 6, are the characters concerned about civilian endangerment, when in Volume 2 they happily pursued a giant mech in a highway car-chase scene that would’ve caused untold collateral damage and civilian death? This change in storytelling created a thematic disparity that reoccurs time and time again, retroactively emphasizing just how inconsistent the worldbuilding and storytelling are.

It tried to be Avatar: The Last Airbender, and what we’re left with instead is Game of Thrones Season 8.

Now, I’m not using this blog as a platform to damn Monty Oum (or claim to be a better creator than him). But it’s important to address the flaws in his story, and to acknowledge that his passing doesn’t make RWBY somehow sacrosanct or immune to constructive criticism. RWBY has flaws, ranging from nitpicky to potentially capable of causing real-world harm (in the case of the aforementioned queerbaiting and racism analogies). I’m a firm believer that art doesn’t exist in a vacuum; art is informed by our beliefs just as much as art informs our beliefs. We can still respect and admire the potential RWBY has to offer, while being mindful of where it needs to improve.

That’s where this blog comes in.

At the end of the day, the RWBY Redux exists as a thought experiment. I’m writing it chiefly to entertain worldbuilding ideas and headcanons I’ve spent years musing on. I’m not asking readers to agree with any of my numerous stances, nor am I going to shy away from other fans’ criticism as I hammer this project out. With a little TLC, perhaps I’ll manage to create something that manages to be more complex than its source material. And if you choose to follow along with my endeavors, hopefully you’ll find this project equal parts engaging and entertaining.

Wish me luck.

[quirkless-and-embarrassed]

Regarding the character ask meme: I'd love to see your take on Tamaki!

HE IS ONE OF MY FAVES. As you can probably tell by my icon. I’m sorry this took me so long, but I couldn’t resist beginning the new season as I was working on this, aaand geeking out over the anime took up more time than I thought 😂

Answers under the cut because I could not resist including lots of images and because whoa this really got away from me. Spoilers for season 4 of the anime!

Favorite things about him:

tl;dr adorable+disaster+badass = instant KO

i. He’s never believed that the quirk makes the hero. Granted, it’s from his own insecurity that he believes that, but even when Mirio’s quirk was a liability, Amajiki looked up to him as a great hero. It’s especially refreshing to see because everyone else places so much emphasis on what their quirk can do.

ii. Also, his insecurity. Amajiki describes himself as a plain, boring person so terrified of failure that his brain goes blank when he even considers it. He’s not blush-y or stutter-y or those other tics associated with cutely shy characters—his face is kinda awkwardly inexpressive…he actually looks constipated when he attempts to address class 1-a during his debut…and I get a sense of stillness from him, like someone who freezes up instead of fidgeting. But he’s not fishing for encouragement. He’s likely to bluntly, unhappily shoot down any attempt to praise him because that makes the pressure even worse! No “thank you for believing in me, I’ll do my best,” no, “oh you’re too kind, that’s not true,” he’s like: “no, just…no. shit. what now? I’m not Mirio.”

iii. His relationship with Mirio. What he admires most about Mirio is how, when he goes down, Mirio always rises back up—like the sun—filled with warmth instead of with self-recrimination. He draws people in and fills them with energy. Amajiki painfully believes he isn’t capable of any of that, but he trusts Mirio, and Mirio tells him that there’s plenty of warmth to him even if Amajiki can’t sense it in himself, and even if Amajiki is filled by fear at the idea of failure, he, too, energizes Mirio when he faces his problems anyways. They talk, build each other up, and accept each others’ feelings. Amajiki still wants to be like Mirio (cue “imitation is the sincerest form of…”), but he’s learning that even though he’ll never be Mirio, he and Mirio are alike in the ways that matter most.

iv. it’s as gay as the day is long.

v. How steadfast he is. Given his anxiety, it’s not immediately obvious, but Amajiki’s doubts and insecurities center on his capabilities and self-worth—not on his principles or about what needs to be done. When he’s worried about something, he doesn’t even try to hide it, there’s something very forthright and grounded about the way he struggles to confront the current obstacle.

vi. He’s such a goofball when he’s alone with Mirio. Here he is pretending to sever his thumb. Look at that smile. And Mirio’s habit of pumping his arms when he’s excited is nearly as cute.

vii. His hero name is awesome. Suneater. Talk about names that represent your ideal self…

viii. Amajiki doesn’t win his battle against Overhaul’s thugs by discovering his confidence and whipping out a super move (which, incidentally, he attempts via flashback+miritama feels and it fails resoundingly). He wins with the power of friendship, but it’s not the typical Power of Friendship spiel.

He fights three side-characters whose names I never remember, so I call them the garbage trio: theft quirk guy (similar to how Amajiki “steals” the forms of what he eats), a guy who manifests crystals, and gluttony guy. Funnily enough, the three have terrible self-esteem issues! They’re fanatically loyal to Overhaul because he’s willing to use them as sacrificial pawns, and being a pawn is better than being rejected as garbage (which each has as his tragic past).

So the narrative presents Amajiki with two types of bonds. Will he identify with the trio’s loyalty to Overhaul, founded on their sense of worthlessness? Or will he identify with their loyalty to one another, founded on their empathy for each others’ tragic pasts? Essentially: what kind of relationship does he have with Mirio?

It’s not even a contest. Amajiki immediately and fully rejects the Overhaul-brand loyalty as brainwashing and focuses on the bond he understands, the “friends don’t eat friends” bond.

So Amajiki recognizes his opponents’ humanity when even they couldn’t. Even though they thought of themselves as nothing more than Overhaul’s tools, Amajiki intuited that the bonkers guy who shouts “eat! eat! eat!” wouldn’t bite his crystal friend when Amajiki used him as a shield. In doing this, Amajiki proved that their lives have more value to each other more than they ever will to Overhaul. He explicitly praises them for trusting each other—something they can take pride in because they forged it themselves—and ultimately removes their masks, symbolically freeing them from Overhaul’s ownership.

It was a cool idea because usually I see the protagonist summon up reserves of power he didn’t know he had in order to protect his comrades, but when Amajiki was inspired by remembering how Mirio believes in him, it doesn’t actually work because the garbage trio calls on their own bond to counter his power-up. Or usually it’s the antagonist who turns the protagonists’ love for each other against them, and here it was reversed. Except Amajiki used their friendship against them not out of contempt for their bond, “oh your love makes you so weak and predictable,” but out of respect for it, “love is what makes you strong, and I know that because it makes me strong, too.”

ix. His weird, pointy ears.

x. His dub voice acting: it’s stellar. Props to Aaron Dismuke, highly recommend watching his episodes in the dub.

Least favorite things about him:

His first name, Tamaki. It just never sticks in my mind—Amajiki is much more distinctive. (Apparently I have some sort of big three mental block, because I can rarely remember Mirio’s and Nejire’s last names, either.)

He didn’t really grow or learn anything from his fight against the garbage trio. He was already confident in his bond with Mirio, and the whole reason he volunteered to fight the trio was that he thought he could win, so it was basically a high-stakes training exercise in sticking to his guns. I think the purpose of the fight was to teach the audience that he and Mirio are a positive foil for bakudeku, providing another way Mirio is superior to Midoriya + amping Mirio up before his tragedy-slash-victory, so it’s a shame Amajiki’s most major scene wasn’t about himself.

I wish he had more screen time, I wish he had more development, I wish we got his reaction to Mirio losing his quirk, I wish had scenes with more characters than just Mirio, Kirishima, and Fat Gum, etc. The usual gripes about faves who are side characters.

Favorite lines:

Ch132 – I love how forthright he is lol. No attempt to put up a strong front.

Ch132 – When the thug Amajiki’s fighting shouts at him, his feelings are hurt 😂 also bonus for kiri trying to comfort him

Ch135 – cool as a cucumber

And two I won’t include the panels for…

His badass line in 141, “I might not understand your rage. Your grief. Everything that led you here…but I know all about solid bonds! And my friends don’t use each other! Because friends don’t eat friends.”

and when he collapses after beating the garbage trio:*THUD* Huh…why’s the floor so close to my face?doofus

BROTPs:

Kirishima!! His pep talks to Amajiki while they were on patrol were really cute. I can only imagine how he handles Kirishima and Tetsutetsu! He’s totally the third wheel, and normally he’s happy to be! But sometimes he watches the two hype each other up and gets depressed about it because he’s never that positive and encouraging. Sometimes Fat Gum leaves Amajiki in charge and it seriously stresses him out because Tetsutetsu occasionally charges off to do his own thing and it’s a whole ordeal to rein him in.

And oh shit, Nejire’s personality is just as cute as Amajiki’s, I’d love to see more of the two of them hanging out. (and just…more of Nejire in general, please. Her debut was so funny and then Horikoshi did nothing with her.)

In class-a, I’m curious to see how Amajiki and Yaoyorozu would get along. They’re both gifted students with confidence issues and quirks that depend on eating, so it would be nice to see them hit it off. I’d also be interested to see Amajiki and Bakugo interact, especially with Kirishima there.

Also, since Amajiki has such a preoccupation with exuberant, confident people, I’d love to see him somehow meet Inasa.

This isn’t a brotp, but I’ll bet Nighteye intimidated the shit out of Amajiki… Mirio told Amajiki endless anecdotes about Nighteye but it didn’t work, till the day he dies Amajiki will still get clammy any time he thinks of Nighteye’s glare or the purported tickle machine.

Again not a brotp, but I’d love to see Amajiki vs. Shigaraki. That sounds like an awesome fight. (…ideally before Shigaraki gets all OP and only Midoriya can beat him.)

OTP:

Mirio.

NOTP:

Nobody comes to mind.

Random headcanons:

Most of the food Amajiki eats goes into his quirk; he doesn’t properly extract its caloric and nutritional value, and if he’s not careful, he could accidentally become malnourished. (It also makes it difficult to put on muscle.) So he eats a ton, to make sure he has enough to fuel both his quirk and his body, and he’s self-conscious at how much more he eats than other people.

When Amajiki vomits, his quirk is weakened to the point it’s basically null. He has to take a break and chow down before he can use it again. …Re-ingesting the puke is…not an option.

Clothing is a big issue for his hero work. He could develop a really powerful fighting style, one that involves producing limbs from his back and torso, if he were willing to wear a little less…but that’s never going to happen. Mirio can run around naked, but Amajiki can’t!

I don’t know if this is a translation quirk or fanon or what, but I adore it when Nejire calls Amajiki “chicken-hearted” in fanfiction. It’s a short, cute joke about his quirk and I wholeheartedly hc it. I also think Amajiki is closer to Nejire than Mirio is.

Amajiki doesn’t deal with his self-esteem issues by minimizing his challenges. He doesn’t make cheap compromises like, “ok, I know I can do this because it’s so easy even someone like me can do it.” He goes for broke, for being the spectacular hero Suneater, because even if he can’t perceive his own positive qualities, he believes that they’re there.

One of the (many) reasons Amajiki admires Mirio is that Mirio admires him, and Amajiki wants to be able to like himself, too.

When it comes down to it, his self-worth is nowhere near as desperately poor as the garbage trio because he knows true friendship. Maybe if he’d never met Mirio, Amajiki would have been susceptible to their sort of devotion, but now he never will be because Mirio’s encouraged him to value himself. Amajiki won’t accept a bond that relies on degrading yourself—which is important to know, since Amajiki constantly compares himself to Mirio. But Amajiki’s sense of inferiority is chronic without being proportionately deep. He adopted the name Suneater to declare himself Mirio’s equal, and his climactic line of the garbage trio battle, “friends don’t eat friends,” is one that asserts equality and puts his quirky spin on it to show he’s made the principle his own. Amajiki may not like himself but he doesn’t let it get in the way of taking his place as Mirio’s peer.

Amajiki’s parents are also anxious people.

Mirio is his neighbor at the UA dorms. It’s perfect because Mirio can permeate their the shared wall and they can hang out after curfew. (Mirio keeps a pair of sweatpants in Amajiki’s room for those occasions lol.) Nejire is jealous and always talks about gate-crashing, but she never gets around to it. Even after Mirio loses his quirk, his sweatpants stay in Amajiki’s room because neither of them can quite bring themselves to give those times up.

I am a sucker for making characters’ quirks reflect something fundamental about their hearts, so here’s my take on manifest. Amajiki manifests what he eats, meaning he absorbs from his environment and re-creates it in his own style. It’s not imitation, since Amajiki with one cow hoof and one tentacle, kicking ass, resembles neither a cow or an octopus, but he takes the best from what’s around him and reinvents it. “Suneater”? Thanks to how his friendship with Mirio gave him a stable, nourishing environment, he’s absorbed his favorite of Mirio’s traits and manifests them in his own way, as his own strength, because as even name of his quirk implies—manifestation makes latent qualities visible.

Like Bakugo, Amajiki could have resented Mirio for his strengths; like the garbage trio, he could have let his failures convince him that he’s worthless; but Amajiki consistently makes the best of the cards he’s dealt, even though it involves plenty of doubt and self-flagellation that could lead him down a darker path…but don’t. He’s greater than his demons.

Unpopular opinion:

Amajiki’s shy, but…not that shy. He gets like stiffly shy.

Amajiki still has a ways to go before he’s ready to date Mirio. (Not sure what’s the popular opinion on this.)

I really wish class 1-a versus Mirio had been class 1-a versus Mirio and Amajiki. It would have been so cool to see what amazing teamwork they had and how their quirks were compatible.

Song I associate with him:

Titanium—absolutely. I like the versions by Sia, Boyce Avenue, and Kurt Schneider (I couldn’t choose). Circles by Veela reminds me of his spiraling anxiety. And, I can’t resist, so I’m adding Chasing the Sun by The Wanted on here.

Aaand my ship songs…Appreciated by Rixton, and All of Me by John Legend.

Favorite picture of him:

Ch141 – Ironclad certainty. I’m not even gonna apologize for the dimensions and the fact this is huge, just drink it in.

Ch132 – If this isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, I will never trust your judgment.

Ch152 – Unless it’s because this is the cutest.

Ch152 – When Mirio loses his quirk 💔

I’ve also answered these questions for Todoroki, Bakugo, Uraraka, Endeavor, Sir Nighteye, and Shinsou!

[squadron-of-damned]

⭐ - for the fanfic ask

Yes okay, my pick. that’s the tough part. Hmm… I’d say I’d like to talk about Black Garb, but frankly, I think I have said everything I wanted to say there.

So instead let’s talk about The Long-Awaited Sequel. The name itself is supposed to be a tie-in with the previous work from the Basketville series, because that one is called The Last Chapter, so there is a book theme supposedly going on and also it focuses on the new life Downey and Vetinari have in Basketville, so it is “a brand new book” which everyone has been long waiting for.

Fun fact: Originally the “main hero” whose POV is followed was supposed to be Christian Agate, the renown paperback author who is definitely not the Discworld incarnation of Agatha Christie. While this idea got scratched, the book theme remained just as the concept of Basketville being “the countryside village to which old (male) literary heroes retire to have a cottage, bees and their best companion to whom they aren’t married (but only because it isn’t legal yet).”

Part of the fun with this bodyswap fic was that Vatinari and Downey know each other well enough to actually pull off they are the other person while nobody really knows them enough to notice if there is something wrong. That means that I as an author (and subsequently you as the reader) didn’t have to focus on the “comedy effect” of the bodyswap when they are “this close to being caught,” because let’s serve us clean wine: I don’t like this trope. No, what I wanted to explore was how the physical differences in a body affect the individual.

Let’s start with Downey. In the book Night Watch it is implied that he might have a problem reading long words (although it is possible Vetinari meant that as a very ugly joke) and over the time this implication evolved into a headcanon that he has dyslexia and possibly dysgraphia as well. (I know that they aren’t one and the same, but my two childhood friends have them both and when thinking about one I find it quite difficult not to connect it to the other.) And since you specifically Napoleon are asking this, you are the one who’s assigned that man synethesia as well. I believe that it isn’t addressed in this fic, but originally it was supposed to be and the only reason it isn’t there is because I didn’t figure out a simple way to make AO3 format work with colours.

There is the poem:

This is now all of my wit:to love loud turmoil of the fight,to penetrate girls’ dreams in night,to be in debt a little bit,to whistle as my mouth is shaped,to wash away worry with wine,to squander fast this life of mine,to gain nothing, same to forfeit.

It is my translation of František Gellner’s To je teď celá moudrost moje and in the fic it has scattered bolding and italicizing which is supposed to represent how it is seen through Downey’s eyes. Originally the whole text was heavily colourized, all the alike sounding parts done in the same or similar colours, so it looked like a very bad acid trip. (I was quite angry when the colours didn’t make it in because I spent about an hour colouring that damn thing for nothing.)

Here is the fun part: Why does Vetinari experience these conditions when he is in Downey’s body while he doesn’t get to deal with Downey’s short-fused temper? Because according to some very smart article which I have read and lost and can’t be bothered at the moment to find again, things like dyslexia or introversion tendencies are bound to brain. In fact this article which focused on the fact that people are born either more extroverted or introverted and they can’t do anything about it because it is a physical condition just like the solidness of your bones or blood type is what inspired this particular fic.

Do Vetinari, a known book worm, finds out that there are people who are literally physically incapable to enjoy a book without getting a horrible headache. He also finds out that there are people for whom being around other people is not energetically draining. I can’t remember if he has to deal with Downey’s absolute musical hearing. I think he doesn’t.

Downey on the other hand is mostly reliant on his people skill, on the fact that he is good at being around people and in the only moment that he is supposed to use it (the variation of the PTA gathering), it fails him because of Vetinari’s brain introversion. There is also a minor deal with haywire colourvision which I don’t think I’ve ever bothered to explain. That is a headcanon of mine which doesn’t affect anything and hasn’t got any real backing by the actual lore, but through Vetinari’s eyes Downey can see colours which he previously couldn’t see. The word itself doesn’t get actually used, but Vetinari has tetrachromatic vision instead of the human usual trichromatic one.* Yes, I am aware that the cone cell pigment genes are bound to the X chromosome, thus making tetrachromacy a thing found in the XX 23rd gene combination, but consider: tetrachromacy has actually been found in men, Discworld genetic is strange, magic can apply, no one is saying that Discworld human genes are like ours, no one is saying that Vetinari is cis, also I don’t care because this is a work of fiction not a research paper so if you have a problem with Vetinari having a trait predominately found in human females, it is a you-problem and you have to deal with it somehow (probably by not reading that fic for a start). He also has to deal with chronic pain in leg which I believe Vetinari is more or less used to, but Downey isn’t.

Speaking of chronic pains. Both of those guys have been through some serious shit. Both mentally and physically. In case you haven’t been here for my writing, Downey’s time in Ankh-Morpork during Snapcase’s regime was not a walk in a rosy garden. Or maybe it was a walk in a rosy garden but he was forced to take it through the thorny bushes. He was interrogated, he was tortured for information and there had been at least one attempt to execute him which is implied in the fic. Downey says that he loves Vetinari “Enough for a lack of eloquence to be considered of virtue” just the moment after some very old scars on Downey’s body are mentioned. I don’t know if this reads clearly for you, but it has always been clear to me (and that is why I cannot describe it better): “They tried to physically force me to tell them everything about you and I didn’t say a word.” Until today I am convinced that this particular line is one of the… strongest that I have ever written.

There is a very strong reference to Kafka in this work, namely the very hideous tattoo on Downey’s back which says VerboIncooperativus Testi (verbally uncooperative witness, although the translation is a shared effort of mine and Google Translator, though Discworld Latatin is a bastart language, so whatever). All I can say to that is this: In the Penal Colony.

That brings me to the side characters. Some of them have only a little impact on the story, such as Papermould. Some of them are long time dead like Offer Littlegood to whom I would like to dedicate a short work on his own because he is the Discworld’s constructor of the horrible tattoo-execution machine, which might or might not be clear from what is written about him and implied in other parts of the work. I have a lot of thoughts about Offer Littlegood. I am a loud about being from Czechia, so here is a linguistic joke for you: a rather archaic/fairy-tale sounding euphemism for an executioner (and torturer, stories like to pile these two jobs into one) in Czech is “mistr málodobrý” which translates to English as “mister (or master) littlegood.” That is where Littlegood’s name comes from, to me he is an executioner and torturer by name.

Then there is July Mendahorse. For a starter: I love July Mendahorse. She isn’t pretty and she is the perfect noir femme fatale and she is an important character in The Graveyard Shift. In this story there are featured three people who look a lot like Vetinari: Vetinari himself, Constantin Meserole who is his cousin and a mirror thirty years to the past (he is far mor like Vetinari in his mind than he realizes and he would hate himself a lot if he had ever learned that), and then July Mendahorse (who is actually also a lot like Vetinari, but she lacks the upbringing and education). The opening line about her section is a lowkey reference to the song The House of the Rising Sun (this gets more played on in The Graveyard Shift). When Downey and Vetinari are talking about their exes, Downey recalls briefly dating July (without naming her) who happened to look a lot like Vetinari and speak with his accent. I am not sure if I want to work with it in The Graveyard Shift or give Downey/July their own fic in the original timeline but I want to clear up one thing for you here: Downey actively conditioned July to erase a whole a lot of differences between her and Vetinari. Some of that were good things, like giving her education or taking her to see culture, some of that were… less nice. Not exactly abusive, but… Look, folks, don’t try to forge a girl you’ve found on the street into your unreachable partner of your dreams, alright?

Since we have Vetinari-alike people here, let’s give a paragraph to Constantin Meserole, shall we? If Constanting had a dollar for every time someone called him Havelock, he’d be a very rich man. He looks like Vetinari at that age. He is very actively trying to difference himself from his cousin, but he fails to realize he is doing it in the most Vetinari-like (or Constantin-like) way possible. He is more psychology oriented than Vetinari, but he is also more fed up with his situation. Vetinari’s (and Downey, Sybil and Vimes’s) generation could be compared to those people who were children and teens during the 70′s and 80′s (speaking from a country which used to be a part of the communist block at that time: fucking bloody normalization, so with the Wint/Snapcase’s regime it is twice as accurate), while Constantin (and Lus Twinkle and all their classmates) are those who are growing up right now. They don’t remember that era but they grew up with people telling stories what it was like and they see people actively trying to make history repeat itself and they are feeling like AAARGH! Oh, and Constantin and Twinkle’s relationship is a mirror to Downey and Vetinari’s relationship in the sense “Okay, whit if they weren’t absolute idiots, but only a little bit idiots?”

There are retired fictional characters: Blatantly obvious Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson except they are dwarves now (and are actually both girls), Captain Tramain who is from Wizardry 8 and I’ve always had a soft spot for him. There is aforementioned and not entirely fictional Christian Agate.

There is Helen Foxglove. I have a friend who has just writhed herself out of an abusive marriage. This fic was written before she actually made it and at the time I felt that the most I could do for her aside from coming over every here and then and helping her out was to give her a fictional happy ending. This is that happy ending where she got out with her children and her dogs, and her piece of a shit husband got a dagger through his skull. Maybe some time in the future Helen Foxglove will get together with a witch who might and might not be a version of my mum. Look, I’ve always thought that those two should get together ever since I was, like, four and knew what ‘get together’ was. I’ve always saw her son as a brother, so you know.

I like writing about Basketville but I also find it terribly difficult. Terry Pratchett said that Ankh-Morpork is a fantasy city which still functions after the story ends. In the same way, Basketville is the happy ending retirement countryside village which still functions after the story ends. Everything that happens in Basketville is an epilogue to some story, but it is important to realize that there are people whose whole lives were other people’s epilogues. That is both difficult and amazing to write.

[knowshisowna]

TRIUMVIRATE HEADCANON 001 | tom riddle ( specific to godcrux ) | DO NOT REBLOG !!!

TOM RIDDLE CHOSE HIS TOP THREE. and he chose them very carefully. and his relationship with them was based in what purpose they served , and each of them served a vastly different purpose. he knew who they would be long before they did , and in a time when his mind was at its sharpest , he built a very terrifying machine with them at the base.

RODOLPHUS comes first. he’s sixteen when he begins spending his summers in the company of tom riddle , but tom knows early on that while rodolphus will be the center mass , he is not going to be the chaos that tom needs to instill the fear his entire campaign is built upon. because he won’t do the dirty work himself forever , and he’s going to need someone efficient , someone who can leave a message. rodolphus is very charismatic WHEN HE DOES SPEAK. he is engaging and intelligent , and he inspires something deep in both skeptics and cowards alike with few words. he is going to make a great leader , and he doesn’t use fear the way that tom does. he will be THE RECRUITER , but tom is going to need more than that.

BELLATRIX is the answer he is looking for. she would be THE RECKONING. intelligent and skilled , cunning and sharp , and at the time , the chaos in her eyes is almost indiscernible. except to him. he dedicates an immense amount of time to her , making her in his image , bending her in some ways and breaking her in others so that she could grow beyond her bones. and by now , rodolphus has been handed a lot of power and has discovered much of his own. he’s infiltrated the ministry with the help of augustus , and he and antonin have covered major ground in recruiting not only other wizards but allies for their cause.

while he lays the path for each of them , tom also orchestrates their betrothals. it was relayed to him what the blacks had in mind for bellatrix as well as what the lestranges saw in rodolphus’s future , and in order to ensure that his current structure was not at all imposed upon , he makes a case for their union. they already work so well together despite her being younger , and he knows that they both have the same priorities , the same shape for the future. and he does not need either of them being wasted upon fickle marriages and the strain of producing heirs. they are much bigger than that now.

RABASTAN is also 16 when he is first introduced into tom riddle’s fold , and antares lestrange thinks he will be no more than a foot soldier , a body to burn when the time is right. if nothing more , a shield for rodolphus , someone to die for him if need be. but tom does not see that. tom sees something more , something rabastan does not yet know he possesses. he is quiet , shy , a bit timid , but he is very observant and highly intelligent. an eidetic memory and one thing that , thus far , no one else has so blatantly —if at all— displayed to tom , something he himself does not even quite understand. EMPATHY.

and so rabastan is going to be THE CATALYST. what rabastan lacks anywhere else , he makes up for in heart , and tom finds a way to use it of course. but in order to prove them both , he tasks young and stumbling rabastan with a vast task , one that rodolphus has been unable to complete , the only thing his older brother has ever failed at — RECRUIT FENRIR GREYBACK. and it wasn’t easy. it took many months , and rabastan suffered many injuries , but he wanted to prove himself. and he could accomplish so much off of spite alone , and eventually , he does. not only that , he forges a bond with fenrir , a friendship if you will , and then finally , he negotiates the terms between the wolves and voldemort. and they join them.

because of this victory , the war starts fully that year , and tom leaves more and more in the hands of the three. they not only work well apart , they work well together , and he can see it although he does not quite know how to interpret it , but they care for one another , especially the brothers. but rodolphus learns , slowly , to let rabastan stand on his own two legs , and they become a force to be reckoned with. at the forefront of his most notable victories , they build something more powerful than tom riddle ever imagined. and he only ever cared for his own personal campaign , but this is all working out much better than he had believed it would. because he is UNTOUCHABLE. and he has them to thank for it. after all , how can you even attempt to kill him , mortal man or not , if you can’t even get through his front line ? ? ?

[flyswhumpcenter]

Clé de Voûte [Fever February Day 14 - Feverish Confessions]

FEVER FEBRUARY INDEX

Summary: Everything has just went so wrong before, he can't allow things to go even worse. What a shame, his mind has gone insomniac, unable to sleep, invaded by black clouds of negative thoughts and what ifs. If you take out the keystone, everything falls apart. That's why someone needs to keep the gears in place, and it'll be him.

Except it doesn't go the way things should go.

Fandom: IDOLiSH7 (which is probably gonna end my laifu for being an idiot and a creep I’m deeply sorry)

Word Count: 3.4K words

Notes: I kept spamming Lordi with quotes because I was afraid of going overly edgy as if I was developping Shadow the Hedgehog. This is half "trying to fit myself in Iori's shoes" and half "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGST". Sorry for any OOCness, you could guess it's the first time I'm writing stuff for I7 hahaha plz end me

If I had to place it in the actual game/anime chronology, it would be after Music Festa for sure, before the end of Part 1 too, but where exactly it would stand between these? Hmmm good question.

seriously I'm sorry what am I doing i don't even know shit about idols

Content warnings for implied panic/anxiety attack and spoilers until Part 1 Chapter 11/Episode 10. Also a shitton of headcanons.

AO3 version available here.

The plan was simple: deal with exams the day, deal with the idol business afterwards, find some time for school and homework on the evening, sleep, rinse and repeat. It was fairly easy. It was all a question of balancing things out properly. Nothing he couldn’t, wouldn’t, wouldn’t be able to manage, in short.

And while it worked until then, everything fell apart when he got insomnia.

The eight hours of sleep were essential to the plan. Thanks to them, he could have enough energy to go through, as easily as ever, everything he had to do. Everyone was counting on him, from his band members to their manager.

But if he couldn’t get what he needed, then it would all fall apart, and he couldn’t bear failure. Not after the catastrophe at Music Festa. He had to hold it together, just so he could prove (probably to himself, but also to all the others) he had everything in control when, really, it was less and less the case.

As exams ended, they’ve had to take care of the web show. That’s all he could think of, in his bed: he knew he had succeeded at the exams, but he was… worried for the show. The guys kept derailing everything, from spoiling what was planned at the end of the broadcast to teasing each other until one of them burst out. Luckily, he never burst out.

He rolls around. This isn’t time to be unable to find sleep. What worries him is that he’s seen his sleep dwindle with days passing. It has gone from eight, to seven, to six, to barely a couple hours, to tonight. No sleep. He’s going for a full-on sleepless night.

3AM. He’s still up and running. Maybe he should go outside, breathe some air and come back. Maybe a walk will help him. It’s settled. He’s getting back into casual clothes, quickly, and makes his way through the dorm, in near complete silence.

Outside is empty. Desert. Cold. The temperature is, after all, the only thing which it doesn’t have in common with the inside of his room. He walks around the lit streets, waiting for something to happen so he can recover his sleep. He feels tired, if not downright exhausted, but if his mind is elsewhere and his heart growing in panic, exhaustion won’t make anything better.

That’s the issue. Black thoughts, clouding his brain and capacity to think properly. He knows his schedule is broken with no hope of fixing it in time for the next shows. It’s as if, as soon as anyone breaks out from the script he’s helped writing, he loses minutes of sleep he unexpectedly needs more than team spirit and whatever idol bands are supposed to do to keep it together.

He knows he won’t avoid that one because they’re only three on the stage. Nanase, his brother and him. All the others are torn between auditions, MEZZO” and filming. And that’s fine, because the group needs to extend their perspectives before they can all debut together, as seven, as it was always meant to be.

What’s not fine is the fact he’s now insomniac.

He takes that back. There’s something else wrong with him and which interferes with his scripts and plans and schedules. A… feeling of weakness. At least it’s not a cough or a cold. That’s the only thing which could be worse. He can’t be sick. He’s barely sick anyway, and while his perfect record of perfect acts got destroyed by his own failure, he intends on keeping his sickness record straight with none. Nothing.

Does he even know what an illness feels like? He’s seen his brother being sick before. That’s how he knows how it looks like in other people. There is a difference between the regular sicknesses he sees around and Nanase’s condition. That, he’s sure of too. And what he’s sure to, is how dreadful things could go for everyone would his health fail him.

He has to fix that insomnia, but he couldn’t find sleeping pills in the dorms, and he clearly doesn’t have enough time to lose to go buy some in a pharmacy. Right when he needs to be perfect, because show must go on, it’s like his own body has decided not to comply. It ignores what’s at stake, and he hates that. One failure, not two. One let-down, not two. What makes failures okay to the eyes of others is the fact you can and are expected to fix your mistakes.

Insomnia isn’t fixing anything. It’s breaking everything he’s built up. Just shows how easy to break something, as finely crafted as it can be.

Fixing an issue also requires knowing where said issue comes from. He can’t say he doesn’t know where it could have all started: having to balance between the band and school, while running the entire show from the shadows with or through the Manager, while having to be the solid one of them all. It wasn’t supposed to be that stressful. Why is it so stressful anyway? Why does he angst over it like that, wandering hopelessly in the streets in the middle of the night as if that was going to fix anything, including his insomnia?

He wonders how anybody hasn’t noticed his dark rings. Or, at least, how anybody hasn’t noticed the make-up he’s using to try and fix that slip-up. Maybe he’s just that good at make-up too. Or maybe nobody has the time nor attention left to notice such a tiny detail. Maybe it complements his hair, or his eyes. He’s always been… dull compared to the others.

Yes, he’s always been… that guy. The guy nobody really wants to talk to, because he’s harsh and almost poisonous, but whom everybody has to one day ask something about because he’s good at organizing, management, studies and sports alike. That’s how he entered the school council, back in his former high school. Clearly, it wasn’t for his charisma or his personality.

And in the unit, it’s the same. Everyone shines by themselves and in the group alike, with colourful personalities to boot. If he is to be focused upon, it’s because he gets associated with the much more colourful and endearing Nanase. He can’t pretend like he isn’t admiring Nanase: his voice is their best weapon, his innocence and never-ending energy makes everyone’s eyes shimmer, a shooting star on stage.

No, he’s just a pillar. There’s nothing exceptional about him when it comes to idol performances. He’s average at singing, average at dancing, average at team cohesion. He’s just average. A necessary gear in the complex machine that is IDOLiSH7, of course, but not what shines the most. He’s the hidden gear. Of course, he’s doing everything just right, as always, without much difficulty. That’s why, as opposed to his brother working his hardest with finding a spot in the unit and his worth as an idol, he has time to worry about Nanase and scripts.

Of course, it’s not because his role isn’t shining that it’s not necessary to the machine. Would he derail, the entire organisation would fall apart. He doesn’t want to show his lesser sides to his companions. Once was more than enough. A character-forging moment for everyone, including him, because there laid his worst fear.

Failure.

It was brand new, for him. The feeling of having done something the wrong way, breaking dreams, shattering hopes. He wanted to disappear, leave forever, never to be seen again. But they caught him back. Told him it wasn’t his fault, when it was. It was his entire fault and he could only blame himself for it. It was hard to think for him he could had been forgiven for it. Because of it, because of him, he had thrown their situation in jeopardy as everyone was trying to make up for a delayed debut. They’re still trying to get out of it.

All because of him.

Eventually, he’s back at the dorm. It’s 4AM, and he still doesn’t feel like sleeping. He feels anxious. He, usually, doesn’t feel anxious. Exams don’t scare him. Being an idol shouldn’t scare him, but his fears have caught up to him. Fears he didn’t know he had in the first place. Fears which emerged from realizing how far things can go would he mess up.

And that’s why he’s resolved not to fail anyone, starting with himself.

7AM, Saturday. It’s not too early for him to exit his room and make his way into the kitchen, just so he can eat breakfast. He’s not that hungry, but just like he doesn’t sleep for the pleasure of sleeping, he eats because he needs energy, the energy his sleep won’t give him. Breakfast is going to light and effective, just like it should be, because he doesn’t have time to be lethargic. Even if he does feel a bit lethargic…

Like everybody, he felt tired before in his life, but not to that extent. It’s all because his schedule got broken by some kind of ailment of which’s escape is unclear. He needs to find a way to break out of it, but that requires thinking about it, and right now, he has something else on his mind, including a throbbing sensation. He’ll have to check for medicine again.

Problem: while almost everybody is already out, his brother is still in the dorm, and right now, he’s arriving in the kitchen to eat breakfast too. And he forgot to put on something to hide his rings. He has to come up with an excuse, in case he asks… He would hate to lie to him, but if it’s necessary, he’s willing to do so.

“Oh, good morning Iori!” his brother speaks to him as soon as he notices him, “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so late.”

“Good morning,” his voice seems to struggle exiting his throat, “big brother.”

“Ready for tonight’s live? We’re four down, but I’m sure we’ll do something great and fun for our fans to watch!”

“Of course.”

Mitsuki gets a bowl and some cereals out, grabs some orange juice and sits right in front of him. His cheerful expression sours out.

“Hey,” he looks his younger brother’s eyes, “you don’t look like you’re doing so good, no?”

“I’m perfectly fine, brother.”

Orange eyebrows frown.

“C’mon, you’re lying to your big bro now? This isn’t like you.”

“I take optimal care of my health. It would be unprofessional of me not to.”

Before his sibling can add anything, he gets up from the table, waving a quick “I have to see the Manager” and leaves the room. Shouts about his unfinished cereals (they were almost nauseating to look at…) make him think he better hurry to the bathroom, or somewhere where he can lock himself because Mitsuki’ll always find a way. That’s how great he is.

His luck is extraordinary when he hears Rokuga and Nanase enter the room. They’re giving him a distraction so he can at least hide his dark rings from everybody else. Worrying people will make the gears fall apart. And he doesn’t want the gears to derail and ruin the machinery. That’s why he has to stay strong, head up, as if he wasn’t an insomniac. Washing his face will make it better. Putting on make-up will make it better.

He puts on some under his eyes, blend it, but it remains. The darkness remains, half-hidden underneath a layer of flesh-coloured products. His eyes attempt on shutting down on their own, but he forces them open. He won’t back down. One failure, not two.

When he goes back into the room, because there is a show later today and all, his fellow companions have been dwindled to his brother and Nanase. Good. The less people there, the less people to convince. Their manager soon urges into the room, chippering about today’s plan. Today is a morning of training (at three people, it’s going to be a challenging task, isn’t it) and an afternoon of broadcasting their web show.

At least, she doesn’t seem to notice everything wrong with any of them, which includes him. Good, because he’s starting to feel a bit weird. His head is spinning a little. He spots his brother staring at him, angry, worried. He has to be reassured, and without a question, he’s decided to do so.

“Welcome to An IDOLiSH7 Night with You! I’m Nanase Riku, and I’m very happy to see you all once more!”

The show opens on the three of them sitting on these familiar seats, smiling to the camera and to their manager happily holding signs. Well, as happy as he can naturally be. A small smirk is enough: Nanase and his brother are going to be in the spotlight during the entire broadcast anyway.

“I’m Izumi Mitsuki! I hope you all have an awesome day!”

“And I’m Izumi Iori.”

Once again, they go off-script very fast. They spew out end-of-the-show information as if it was some cheap candy given out to kids. It’s all laughs, giggles, and he’s retaining to scream inside because he knows it’ll come out weaker than usual. He tries to interact with them, just so nobody notices anything. It… doesn’t work very well: his earing is getting muffled.

That’s not how it’s supposed to be. He’s supposed to be proactive, even if it’s after the both of them. He can’t catch up with them, he even feels breathless. His breathing gets quicker and quicker, as if getting out of control. He can’t panic, but he’s downright wondering what the hell he can do. The spinning won’t stop now.

As Nanase happily rambles about the comments, and his brother looks over the laptop screen with a wide grin, he tries to prevent himself from falling asleep. Or passing out. He’s unsure whether or not he’s about to lose consciousness or if it’s just his insomnia vanishing. The knots inside his stomach and throat tighten even more.

Darkness creeps around the corners of his vision. Worse than not understanding then realizing his failure as it’s happening, is seeing it come his way. He knows he can’t do much about it anymore, and it’s the worst feeling. Not only is he failing: everybody can notice so, himself the first, as he doesn’t control anything about the show, his appearance, his behaviour. This isn’t what was supposed to be.

He was supposed to keep everything in check, taking upon himself to succeed.

Instead, he’s just failing, panicking, and just wants to hide his face inside his hands.

He suddenly feels very bad. It’s not sleep coming towards him, it’s consciousness leaving his body. He can’t pass out on stage. That’s not professional. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. It can’t happen. It’s not scripted. It’s not proper.

He wants to leave, disappear, die, vanish in an instant, never be seen again, because it knows it’s coming for him despite his best efforts.

The stage is no more than bright, burning, blurry stains of colour around him, twirling and twirling. His entire head pounds and throbs. This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. This isn’t how it should be. He shouldn’t on the verge of passing out.

An orange silhouette comes into his blurry frame. There’s something, probably hands, holding his arms.

“Iori! Iori, answer me!! Goddammit, say something, anything!!”

“Big… big bro…” his voice has gone dim. It’s hard to speak when it’s already hard to breathe.

“What the hell are you…”

A red blob, presumably Nanase, gets into the frame too.

“Manager, please stop the camera!! There’s something wrong with Iori!!”

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen…

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be…

This wasn’t in the script…

This wasn’t the end it was meant to have…

There’s tears running down his eyes and face. He hears their manager fret over, panic even, before screaming in stops, running towards them on her small heels. He didn’t want them to stare at him as if he was dying. He’s not dying. He’s just a bit under the weather…

“What’s wrong, Iori?!” Nanase asks, yelling as if to make sure he was going to hear it.

“I’m calling a doctor! Riku, Mitsuki, please take care of him meanwhile!”

His brother’s eyes are being insistent on him. He doesn’t have to distinguish them to know that. The strong grip alone is enough. The sound of heels appears again, only to sink into silence again…

“I… I…”

It’s like it can’t even exit his mouth.

“I don’t know…”

He wishes he could see their faces right now.

“I knew something was wrong…” the brother growls, clutching for his sibling’s remaining fragments of consciousness.

“What does he have?”

“I don’t have a single idea, Riku,” the voice fades away despite his yelling undertone, “but he’s never done such a thing before!”

Hands on his back. Nanase’s, for sure, as he feels something on his forehead. He almost feels like he isn’t touching anything anymore.

“He’s running a fever!”

The horrified tone in Mitsuki’s voice is almost out of character. He’s never heard him scream in such fear.

“Why didn’t you tell us anything, Iori? You were insisting on us being aware of Riku’s condition, why didn’t you tell us?!”

It’s like he’s blaming a chronic circumstance which could bomb the group as much as a small, albeit odd, occurrence.

“Didn’t know I was… sick…” slurs out of his mouth. It’s not even a proper answer.

He chokes back on a sob. This is too much. The camera stopped rolling, and he has both his brother and his friend looking over him as if he was passing away. Sobs lead to cough. He can’t breathe. His head won’t stop hurting. He can’t even look at them both properly anymore, both out of shame and out of physical difficulties. Technical difficulties.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen… I’m sorry…”

“Iori…” Nanase’s voice trails off, soft, almost soothing. The shooting star he wishes he would see in his dark night of clouds.

“Why’s that, ‘it wasn’t supposed to happen’?” His brother asks with little less impulsion. “What wasn’t supposed to happen?”

“That…” he keeps on choking, it pains his throat. “That… I’m supposed to… do it all flawlessly… Yet I… I…”

He clutches his eyes shut. He only wants to see darkness and hear silence.

“I failed everything…! I… can’t even sleep anymore…”

His brother gulps, tears him away from Nanase’s hands and clutches him against him.

“You idiot! You should had told us… You’re probably thinking you can’t do anything wrong because of last time, and that got to you, hasn’t it?”

He simply nods.

“That’s stupid, everybody screws up from time to time. Even you, Iori. You shouldn’t make yourself sick over being perfect, ’cause nobody’s perfect, y’know?”

“B-but… I did it live… and…”

“You shouldn’t care about that. It’s going to be okay. Calm down, nobody is going to scold you for being unwell. Just tell us next time.”

His eyes close down without a warning, and he finally gets to see this welcomed darkness.

“What does he have?” asks Tsumugi as she walks up to the seventh member of the band.

“According to Mitsuki,” Riku replies pointing at the room with his thumb, “it’s mostly a lack of sleep and stress. Man, I didn’t know Iori was going through so much…”

The manager’s face dims too, as she looks at the floor.

“The doctor said he was going to be fine in a few days, though. I’m sure he’ll get better real fast and understand it’s okay to be under the weather sometimes.”

“I hope so too. We can only count on the future and what’s to come, right? I’ll prepare the explanation for the broadcast getting cut short, and I’ll explain the situation to the others…”

“No, Manager! Let Mitsuki do it, please! I’m sure he gets what’s been going through Iori’s mind better than we do.”

A soft smile appears on the girl’s face.

“You’re right, Riku… I’ll let Mitsuki take care of this. For now, let’s resume work and occasionally check up on how things are going!”

Tsumugi leaves swiftly, leaving Riku alone. He sighs: this really was weird. Weird, and worrying, but the worry part mostly goes to his older friend who’s probably having some kind of older brother stress. He can’t say he’s not familiar with it, being on the receiving end of it during all of his childhood.

He doesn’t need to look into the room to be sure Mitsuki’s either guarding his brother like a dog or explaining him why it’s okay. He’ll go after him. He needs to check up on his friend himself.