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Something something boyfriends with bad shirts
#forgot I drew half of this a while ago#lol#trashcreatyre's art#mephiles the dark#infinite the jackal#mephinite#mephinfinite#infinite x mephiles#mephiles x infinite#doodles#bad t shirts#I be posting fr today#these are real shirts I found online btw
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wish you were here
#persona 3#kotone shiomi#akihiko sanada#akiham#Cubey's Art#drew this a while ago and forgot to post it lol#I realized that akihiko…….. probably doesn’t have many pictures of his family#and he’s a shy kid too#one of those people who likely doesn’t love having his picture taken even at the best of times#he probably humoured Kotone when she wanted to goof around in a random shitty photo booth at the local strip mall#an old analog one where the film is all expired and the colours are slightly off#and then he just kind of forgot about it until the girls were cleaning out her room and found the strip in an overdue library book#I wrote about half of that fic………….. maybe I’ll finish it one day……..#hamuko arisato#minako arisato#persona 3 femc#persona 3 fanart#persona 3 portable#p3#p3 femc#illustration#digital art
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q!étoiles whiteboard fox drawing :D (close-up and extra doodles under the cut ^^)
the drawing of the eye is q!slime's :D also was rewatching sanders sides while drawing (hence the snake janus doodle) ^^
#qsmp#q!étoiles#étoiles#was rewatching sanders sides while drawing and man. every time i rewatch this series i remember why i still like it#← even though it's been like. 5 years? i still love the series though some of its half-a-decade old slang and jokes make me cringe sometime#i have so many sanders sides hot takes. so many#but i'm talking a bit much abt sanders sides when the main drawing is of q!étoiles lmao#it's always a lot of fun drawing in whiteboard fox with its limited colours because it means i have to shade in creative ways#← like how q!étoiles' hair is shaded with lines of green and his skin is blushing with lines of dark blue#was thinking abt q!starcicle again and had to draw the guy#also realcowboysdrinkjuice has the massivest brain ever with q!étoiles and his tail having a leaf?? i rlly wanted to draw it it looks so fu#(i rlly doubt he'll see this but realcowboysdrinkjuice if you see this i hope that was okay ^^ i'll absolutely change it if you'd prefer))#moral's murals#just noticed his eye is kind of off. this is actually so awkward#I DON'T KNOW HOW I FORGOT TO MENTION??? this whiteboard q!étoiles was drawn to match the whiteboard q!slime i drew a bit ago!! :D
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heart in a cage
#anthro art#furry art#fox furry#anthro#artists on tumblr#this one��s kinda old. i drew it a while ago#but i forgot to upload it#i haven’t drawn horror art in a while. this one is only loosely horror#also if u followed me for that comic i draw about half animals & half anthro#atm anyway. idk what im doing lmao#this is my oc clove. he’s burnet’s brother#i’m not an anime artist lmaoooo u can tell but it was fun#various animals#i will have some new art soon! i’m working on it slowly lol
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don’t think i ever posted this one on here… miss them
#our flag means death#ofmd#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#this is another really old one but there has been a LOT ive forgotten to post since i forgot about tumblr for a while. sorry everypony#hope u all missed me. it kills me that i drew this at least half a year ago and we still haven’t even gotten a s2 trailer. world going dark
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when grumpy met sunshine II Kika Nazareth x Reader
masterlist I word count: 2382
It was the first day of training after the summer vacation marking the start of pre-season. With the new players coming in on the one hand and on the other hand the familiar faces it almost felt like the beginning of a school year. Everyone was buzzing.
One of the fresh signings approached you quickly once she recognized you, her face lit up with joy and excitement.
“Hi y/n, I love your playing style and can’t wait to play with you!”, Kika Nazareth greeted you. God how you hated that footballer and her stupid smile. Also how dare she is saying that after what happened a year ago.
“Uhu, sure. It seems like you forgot what you did during the Champions League group stage games.”, you answered coldly.
“Huh, what do you mean?”, the Portuguese woman frowned confused.
“Forget it.”, you waved it off and rushed off leaving a very bewildered Kika behind.
“Don’t take it personally she never forgets anything really. Come on you need to meet the rest of your new teammates.”, Mapi padded empathetically the shoulder of the young forward.
“But I don’t get it, Mapi. What did I ever do to her?”, the brunette asked the defender, while her brown eyes followed you across the room. S
he was genuinely excited to play with you, if you hadn’t stopped her so abruptly the Portuguese might have said even more. How Kika loved the way you looked and.. she should stop thinking any further you clearly were mad at her, but why?
“I don’t know.”, the older Spanish woman shrugged equally as clueless.
“Weird.”, the forward mumbled.
“Let’s go the others are so thrilled to see you.”, Mapi tried to cheer her up.
“Hey, everyone.”, Kika begun anew, beaming at the teammates. Hoping, no praying, she wouldn’t cause a reaction like yours earlier. The dark haired forward didn’t want to ruin the first day at the new club anymore.
“Hi, welcome to the club.”, Claudia replied grinning.
“And thanks to special agent Aitana for this transfer who sadly can’t be here right now.”, Mapi continued, trying to soothe the fresh signing. It worked Kika did feel more relaxed in front of them.
“Guys calm down she still hasn’t proven herself in the team.”, you commented rolling your eyes, suddenly appearing next to Ingrid.
“I’m aware of how good this team is. But I’m sure I can help.”, the Portuguese swallowed hard, trying to sound as optimistic as possible.
“We’ll see about that.”, you shot back.
“Don’t worry you’ll.”, she promised. The football player was waiting for a response but once more you vanished without a trace. What a strange behaviour Kika thought to herself.
Thankfully Ellie delivered a much-needed distraction.
“Kika? Ewa and I wanted to ask you if you’d join us for a coffee sometime soon? As we’re all new to the city.”
“Yes, sure, I’d love that.”, she nodded happily.
Ellie beamed: “Wonderful.“
“Can’t wait.“, Kika smiled back at the young goalie.
Once again, you rolled your eyes and turned away from them to focus on your warm up.
You were one of the last to leave the pitch two hours later, thinking that you would have the dressing room for yourself. You did not expect Ingrid and Mapi waiting for you there.
“So?“, Ingrid said with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
You didn’t want to talk about your new team member so you decided to play along: “So what?“
With a half smile she finally formulated a question: “Why are you pouting?“
“I’m not pouting. Just annoyed by that smiley…“, you stopped yourself. You couldn’t come up with the right word for her anyway.
Mapi shook her head: “You’re not annoyed.“
At this point, you were starting to get annoyed with these two as well.
“Yes, I am. We didn’t need her in our team.“
“That’s not our decision though.“, Mapi shrugged.
You were about to say something but Ingrid was faster: “Y/n?“
You turned to her: “Yes?“
“Tell us why you’re mad at her.“
You heaved a frustrated sigh. They were worse than your parents.
“Remember when we drew against Benfica in Lisbon?“
Both of them nodded. Of course they would remember last years UWCL games. “Yeah?“
“What happened there? Why can’t you move on from it?“, Mapi asked.
Her girlfriend added: “Come on. It can’t be that bad. You can tell us.“
They looked at you with those soft eyes, all parent-like. Almost like your team psychologist.
The sudden urge to tell them disappeared completely so you just shrugged and grabbed your bag: “Whatever.“
You could feel their eyes on you as you left the dressing room, still in your workout clothes.
Ingrid looked at her incredulously: “Well, that was strange, Mapi.“
“Very.“, she agreed slowly.
As you went back to your own place, Kika and the other new players sipped on their coffees at a tiny little coffee shop.
“No, I’ll win her over with my charm, Ellie.“, Kika announced confidently. Even they had noticed the awkward tension between the two of you.
The English goalkeeper nodded slowly: “Sure you will, Kika.“
“Anyone wants some cake with their coffee?“, Ewa changed the topic. She had been eyeing the tasty looking sweet treats on display right from the start.
The Portuguese striker nodded: “Of course.“
“Can’t say no, they look delicious.“, Ellie laughed.
“We have to celebrate. It’s our first coffee date in our new home.“, Kika laughed.
Ewa stood up and agreed: “We do.“
She quickly returned with three different slices of cake so all of them could try.
“Knowing we play for such a prestigious club now feels great, right?“, she said as she sat the plates down on the table.
“This feels like a dream come true.”, the goalkeeper agreed with a dreamy look in her blue eyes.
It has always been something the blonde fantasized about since she was a little girl, playing for that club and now the fantasy turned into reality which she was forever grateful for.
When Ellie continued, she sounded serious. “Especially after the last year that I had.” The other two women knew about the stroke the English player had suffered.
That was why Kika pulled her into a soft hug whispering into the ear. You deserve to be here so much, Ellie.”
“Thanks. I’m happy that I got to start with you two.”, the goalkeeper smiled at her new teammates.
“Same. I’ve a feeling this will be a fantastic first season for us.”, Ewa replied enthusiastically.
“And we got each other if it’s getting hard.”, the Portuguese striker added.
“Yes, plus I’m sure even grumpy will like you eventually, Kika.”, Ellie remarked.
Immediately the smile vanished from the brunette’s face. “Not so sure about this. Apparently, I must have done something to her during our UWCL match last season.”
“But you don’t remember?”, Ewa questioned curiously. Quickly Kika shook her head.
“No.”
Although she tried her hardest to think what the striker could have done which made you hate her so much. Usually everyone warmed up under Kikas positive radiance, but you were her first exception, following her into her dreams.
In training Kika and you were much to your dismay supposed to be partners.
“Kika, I think Ill swap with Esmee.”, you declared.
“You can’t swap training partners.”, Mapi interjected in a tone which didn’t allow any dissent.
“Fine.”, you groaned. Even though you had played a few years in the first squad of Barca now aged 21 the defender was still like the big sister you never had, and you didn’t want to disappoint her. Even if it meant you needed to work with the person you disliked.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me.”, Kika observed, wearing a huge smile on her lips.
“Yes, with the one who showed me the middle finger last year.”, you muttered under her breath. Unfortunately, it was still loud enough for the striker to understand the words you were saying.
“I never did that!”, she objected loudly.
“Yes, you did.”, you responded.
“No way, I’d never do that.”, Kika insisted.
“And when you said something about the way I played.”, your voice trembled.
“That’s not true.”, the striker denied strongly.
“What’s true?”, you wanted to know.
“Nothing of what you think happened is true!”, she stated passionately.
Hearing her statement made your heart pound hard against your chest. “Are you saying that this is all a huge misunderstanding?”
Obviously!“, Kika said with emphasis and the slightest undertone of anger.
“Oh.“
You didn’t know what else to say. Was she telling the truth? Did it really only look like it at the pitch? Was it a gesture to you or her own teammate?
All the Champions League games seemed to blur together in front of your inner eye. Now you weren’t sure anymore.
“Wait… so you don’t hate me because I’m here and could potentially take your place in the starting squad?“, Kika asked.
You frowned at her: “No, we play two different positions. So why should I be afraid of that?“
“Because I know that you like to push forward too.“, she explained.
You stalled once again. You found it impressive that she had already analyzed your playing style.
You shook your head: “Yes. But I don’t hate your for that. I’m used to tough competition, Barca is my childhood club.“
“Okay… wow.“
“What?“
Kika started laughing: “I really thought you hated me because you had a good reason.“
At first you just glared at her for making fun of you but her laugh was incredibly infectious and you suddenly found yourself laughing with her.
“Stop laughing. This is a good reason!“, you told her as you playfully hit her arm.
“That’s not a good reason.“
“Come on. Focus on your exercise.“, you reminded her, still smiling.
Kika raised her hands defensively and grinned: “Okay, okay. Can’t make you mad at me again.“
“No. Also I have to maintain my grumpy status.“, you replied and tried your best to keep your face serious again.
Kika giggled: “Sorry, of course.“
“Good.“
“Don’t worry. I think I can handle your grumpiness.“
You squinted at her: “Might need some sunglasses to deal with your sunshiny attitude.“
“I know you love it.“, she winked at you. She really dared to wink at you!
You shook your head: “No, you’re still the most annoying person around here.“
“You don’t mean that.“
She was right. You didn’t.
Still, you continued to tease: “Are you sure?“
She flashed you a confident smile: “Yes.“
“Dream on.“
Kika shrugged casually and focused back on your partner exercise: “If you say so, y/n.“
After your talk, you didn’t feel that intense anger towards Kika anymore. Everything was a bit lighter once the misunderstanding was cleared up. It went even so far that you didn’t react with pure disgust when she asked you to room together at your first pre-season match against Hoffenheim.
“Can’t believe we’ve to share a room, Kika.“, you joked as you sat on one of the beds.
Kika threw herself onto the other one: “Quit complaining, you grump.“
You shrugged with amusement: “At least it’s just for one night.“
The Portuguese striker smiled: “You will survive. I’m a quiet sleeper.“
After you both changed into your pyjamas and brushed your teeth you happily let your head fall on to the soft pillow.
“Good night, Kika.”, you mumbled.
“Night y/n.”, the striker hummed.
Yet something was off, the heat in that southern part of Germany still hung in the room, plus Kika hasn’t stopped moving in her bed.
“Can’t you sleep?”, you asked her with a heavy sigh.
“No, what about you?”, she returned the question, directing her gaze straight at you.
“Me neither.”, you admitted. There was some restlessness and tension between the two of you, it was almost unbearable.
“Do you want to talk?”, Kika offered kindly.
“Sure.”, you agreed softly.
“So, what keeps you up?”, the Portuguese wanted to know.
Even though the moonlight enhanced her features and made you think thoughts again you tried to avoid you started with a less heavy confession.
“The adrenaline of the win. I think I’ll never get tired of that feeling, what about you?”
You waited for her response, did you imagine it or did her cheeks turn red, it was hard to tell in the dark.
“Oh, yeah, I get that. I love it too. But there’s something else that keeps me awake.”, the brunette replied nervously.
“There’s? Are you missing Portugal?”, you listened up.
“A bit yes, but that’s not it. This might be a bad start for the new season, but there’s someone in this team that I think I’ve a crush on.”, Kika confessed.
“You do?”, you answered stunned.
“Yeah.”
For a moment you paused before the realization hit you hard.
“Wait, it’s me, right?”
“It’s yes.”, she confirmed quietly.
“That’s too bad because I.”, you begun.
“Oh, you don’t have to say anything, I get that. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”, the striker interrupted you quickly.
“No stop talking for a moment.”, you begged her, placing a finger of yours onto her lips. God, that woman really loved to talk, even though now the time clearly was for listening as you tried to demonstrate to her.
“I fell too.”, you added in a whisper.
“You did? Am I not way too annoying for you.”, Kika frowned.
“Yes, you’re and yet I’d like to kiss your mouth who loves to annoy me with it’s yapping.”, you grinned.
“You should give it a try maybe.”, she smirked.
“Maybe you can sleep better afterwards.”, you suggested playfully.
“Maybe we both can.”, your teammate wiggled her eyebrows.
“I’m sure of it.” First the kiss was cautiously before it was getting more intensely until you heard the door open loudly.
“Oh my god!”, Mapi yelled.
“Mapi, get out!”, you shrieked.
“I didn’t see anything. Promise!”, the defender gesticulated wildly. With that said she was gone as quick as the older woman came.
“This news will run like a wildfire, right?”, Kika chuckled.
“Yes, by tomorrow morning everyone knows.”, you groaned as she pulled you into a hug.
“I don’t mind that. They can know that grumpy and sunshine always belong together.”, she announced solemnly placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
#kika nazareth#kika nazareth x reader#kika nazareth imagine#woso x reader#woso community#woso#woso imagine#woso fanfics#barca femeni#woso oneshot#woso one shot#barcelona femeni x reader#mapi leon#ingrid engen#ellie roebuck#ewa pajor
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Glasses | Chenle Imagine #6
Title: Glasses
Genre: Fluff, kinda angsty
Warnings: mildly suggestive, making out, reader is insecure
Word Count: 968
Author's Note: This is another story idea I had in my works in progress, and I've finally written it. I'm also just happy that I get to post something for Chenle, since it's been long overdue. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you so much for reading ^ ^
➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶
Curled up in the corner of your sofa with a book in hand was your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon. You knew it was such a stereotypical thing for an introvert, but it was something you truly enjoyed. While you weren’t overly receptive to teasing, you refused to let that risk intrude on your comfort zone. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, was determined to be the exception.
Your heart nearly leaped into your throat when Chenle pounced at the opportunity to wrap his arms around you from behind, pulling you into a tight hug. For a second, you almost forgot that he let himself into your studio apartment half an hour ago.
This was a normal occurrence in your relationship, where he’d randomly drop by your place and do his own thing. If he wasn’t talking to you, he was bickering with Jisung over text or watching the Golden States Warrior highlights on his phone. That’s why you thought it’d be fine to carry on with your peaceful activity.
Turning your head in surprise, a soft chuckle escaped you. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Why?” Chenle asked, feigning an innocent tone. “Can I not be affectionate with my girlfriend?”
Without a doubt, Chenle was an amazing boyfriend, and you loved him to death. However when it came to physical touch, he was never the clingy type. You suspected his behavior stemmed from guilt over his increasing absence due to work, yet his pride wouldn’t let him admit it. While physical touch wasn't necessarily your top love language, turning down Chenle's affection would be foolish.
A smile formed on your face as you set your book aside and gently reached out to stroke his hair. “No, you can…”
He drew back slightly to catch you shyly lowering your gaze, finding your reaction utterly adorable. Returning your smile, he cradled your rosy cheeks in his hands and leaned in to plant a kiss to your lips. Initially, he intended it to be a single kiss. But he quickly realized that one wasn’t enough to satisfy him.
Chenle’s lips were soft and warm against yours, moving with a gentle but confident rhythm. Your eyes had already closed, as you willingly lost yourself in the sensation. But your glasses proved to be an unexpected obstacle, their frames awkwardly clashing against his cheeks and nose. Soon, you felt him withdraw with a light chuckle, and you caught a hint of embarrassment flickering across his expression.
“Maybe you should take these off,” he suggested playfully, tapping the rim of your glasses.
Almost instinctively, you stiffened, but tried to cover it up with a laugh. “I kind of need them to see, Lele,” you half-joked, cautiously adjusting your glasses.
“Not when we’re kissing,” Chenle said lightheartedly. “Don’t you just need to feel me?”
Internally, you grimaced as your brain scrambled for another excuse. “I mean, yeah, but…I can’t just take them off.”
This remark caused Chenle's teasing demeanor to fade away, his brows furrowing in genuine confusion.
“Why not?” His tone softened, tinged with curiosity.
You bit your lip in hesitation, knowing it was probably best to be honest. Already, you were kicking yourself for confusing him with your unnecessary defensiveness.
Sighing, your gaze dropped to the sofa as you spoke in a small voice. “My glasses are sort of a mask for me. You wouldn’t believe how unattractive I look without them on.”
The heat that rushed to your face was no longer due to shyness but to shame and embarrassment. Vulnerability was something you avoided, despising the weakness it brought. It was worse enough, knowing your insecurities had ruined this moment of intimacy with him.
Before your thoughts overwhelm you, Chenle delicately lifted your chin to meet his eyes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t believe it,” he said, moving to cup your cheek with one hand. “Because I’m positive you look just as beautiful without them on.”
With a bit of coaxing, you reluctantly let him remove your glasses. As he carefully slid them off, your vision instantly blurred without the lenses. You felt a wave of awkwardness wash over you under his attentive gaze, but you could vaguely see the affectionate smile he wore.
He nodded affirmatively, tenderly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yep, I was right. You are absolutely breathtaking.”
Your heart fluttered at his words. He was certainly a smooth talker, effortlessly leaving you even more flustered than before.
“Do you really think so?” you asked in a hushed tone, holding his hand.
Chenle tilted his head, a playful glint returning to his eyes. “Have you ever known me to lie, (Y/n)?”
A shy smile graced your lips as you felt warmth spreading through you. He made a good point, Chenle’s transparency was one of the reasons you loved him.
“Okay, I believe you,” you conceded.
“Good,” he responded eagerly, “Can we please go back to what we were doing now?”
Laughing, you nodded and Chenle captured your lips in a kiss that was hungrier than the last. Now that your glasses were no longer a barrier, you could feel his warm skin against yours. He smiled into the kiss, sliding his hand from your cheek to the back of your neck. His other hand rested on your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. Your hands promptly found their way to his shoulders, holding onto him as if you were afraid he might vanish.
But he didn’t. Instead, he deepened the kiss, so much so that it caused the both of you to sink back against the couch. With your bodies entwined and hearts beating in sync, you felt your insecurities gradually melt away. While Chenle couldn’t erase them entirely, his love made you feel cherished and secure.
➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶
previous masterlist -> current masterlist
#nct dream#nctzen#kpop#czennie#nct dream imagines#nct dream fluff#nct#nct dream scenarios#chenle#nct zhong chenle#chenle x reader#chenle imagines#chenle scenarios#zhong chenle
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decided to rewatch ONE since im on my break and drew some stuff while rewatching
i wanted to do a small redraw sketch for the last doodle of an old drawing i posted a while ago, maybe ill do a full redraw someday. also i just realized i forgot to paint the bottom half of airys body in the first picture of this post lol
#hfjone#onehfj#osc#one object show#object shows#hfjone airy#hfjone bryce#hfjone liam#hfjone amelia#hfjone charlotte
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Deadly Alliance - Jongho
KINKTOBER DAY 4 - REQ. BY @mingleshine
~"assassin jongho x police officer fem reader, lots of teasing, enemies to lovers vibes, maybe knife play…?"
pairing: assassin!jongho x police officer fem!reader
genre: 18+, filth
summary: You finally meet your childhood best friend after years of him going missing. Only to find out the two of you are now sort of enemies.. sort of. illegal.
wc: 4k
warnings: police x assassin, knife play. implied cutting (like serious knife play but it's a small cut), death/murder mentions but not happening in the present, childhood besties to enemies to lovers, forbidden love, slight teasing, slight angst?, dacryphilia, penetration, unprotected (wrap up irl), completely consensual!, unedited. for sure forgot something.
Author's Note: This one took me a while to finish but oh god.. I'm so sorry it starts this sad HAHAHA but I love the plot. I LOVE IT GOD DAMN ! Enjoy, my love ♡. ALSO I AM SO SO SO SORRY FOR BEING SO BEHIND BUT I AM SO BUSY THESE DAYS IT'S UNREAL 😞😞 I'LL MAKE IT UP TO Y'ALL I PROMISE. 🙂↕️💖
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.
The night air was thick with tension, the kind that clung to your skin and set every nerve on edge. The flashing red and blue lights from the patrol car illuminated the deserted streets, casting eerie shadows against the brick buildings that lined the block. The radio on your belt crackled to life again, the dispatcher’s voice a constant buzz in your ear.
“All units, suspect last seen near the intersection of 7th and Laurel. Proceed with caution.”
You sighed, rolling your shoulders to relieve some of the stiffness that had settled in after hours of being on duty. The city felt different tonight, like something was just out of place, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t just another routine call. You’d responded to hundreds of them by now—robberies, fights, missing persons—but there was something about this one that had a knot forming in the pit of your stomach.
It didn’t help that you were alone.
Your partner was on another assignment, and with every available unit stretched thin, they had sent you out on your own to investigate. Not that you minded. You had been on the force long enough to handle yourself, and you had learned long ago how to rely on your instincts. But tonight, those instincts were screaming that something wasn’t right.
You turned the corner, your flashlight cutting through the inky darkness, illuminating nothing but graffiti-covered walls and empty streets. The suspect had been described as a male in his late twenties, medium build, wearing a black hoodie. He had been seen fleeing the scene of a disturbance near the docks—nothing too out of the ordinary. Yet, the urgency in the dispatcher’s voice had made you uneasy.
You’d dealt with lowlifes and thugs your whole career, but there was something about this call that felt different. Maybe it was the tone in the witness’s voice when they described him, the fear that seemed to creep in, like they had seen something more than just another petty criminal.
You drew in a steady breath, trying to push down the unease. You were a cop, after all. Fear had no place in the job. But as you pressed deeper into the alley, your heart began to beat faster, your fingers tightening around the grip of your flashlight. The buildings on either side felt like they were closing in, the shadows swallowing the dim light from the streetlamps.
Suddenly, there—a sound. A rustle of movement just ahead.
You froze, your breath hitching in your throat. The alley was narrow, lined with dumpsters and the scattered debris of city life, but just beyond the glow of your flashlight, you could see a figure. They were half-hidden behind a stack of crates, their back to you, the hood of their jacket pulled up.
"Police!" you called out, your voice echoing off the brick walls. "Come out with your hands up!"
The figure didn’t move. For a long moment, there was only silence, the kind that stretched on for just a beat too long. Your pulse quickened as you took a step closer, your hand instinctively hovering near your holster.
"Last warning!" you called again, your voice harder this time. "Step out now!"
Slowly, the figure stood, turning just enough for the light to catch the side of their face. And then, they stopped, frozen in place as if they were caught between fight and flight. You felt a strange flicker of recognition, but the alley was too dim, the shadows too thick. Still, something about the way they moved sent a shiver down your spine.
“I said, hands up!” you demanded again, though now your voice wavered just slightly. “Turn around!”
The figure hesitated for another long second before finally, slowly, they turned to face you. And the world seemed to tilt.
For a moment, you couldn’t breathe. Your flashlight flickered across a face you hadn’t seen in over a decade, a face you thought you’d never see again. Familiar eyes stared back at you, wide and filled with shock, mirroring the disbelief that was undoubtedly written all over your own face.
"No…" you whispered, taking an involuntary step back, your mind reeling. "It can't be…"
There, standing in front of you, was **him**. The boy who had once been your best friend, the boy who had shared every secret, every dream, every laugh and tear with you until the day he disappeared without a trace.
“Jongho?” Your voice was barely more than a breath, the name slipping from your lips before you could stop it.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Jongho. The name that had haunted you for years, the name that had left a gaping hole in your heart. You had been kids, inseparable, growing up on the same street, causing trouble, making promises to stay friends forever. And then one day, without warning, he was gone. No explanation, no goodbye. Just gone.
You had searched for him, tried to find out what happened, but it was as if he had vanished from the face of the earth. Eventually, the pain of his absence became something you buried deep, something you told yourself you had moved on from. But now, here he was, standing in front of you, looking at you like he had seen a ghost.
“Y/N…” His voice cracked, low and disbelieving.
It was the same voice, though deeper now, rougher around the edges. You swallowed hard, trying to process the flood of emotions that were crashing over you. Shock, anger, confusion… relief?
“What the hell are you doing here?” you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended as the reality of the situation began to sink in. Your hand was still hovering near your holster, your training kicking in despite the chaos in your mind.
Jongho looked down, his jaw tightening. His hands were at his sides, but he made no move to raise them, no move to run. He just stood there, staring at the ground as if searching for words.
“I didn’t want you to find me like this,” he muttered, almost to himself.
“Find you like this?” Your mind was racing, the implications of what he was saying beginning to dawn on you. “Jongho, what the hell is going on? Why are you here? Why were people—”
“I don’t have time to explain,” he interrupted, his voice growing more urgent. “You need to get out of here, Y/N. It’s not safe.”
You blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in his tone. “What do you mean, it’s not—” But before you could finish, a noise from behind you made you whirl around, your heart leaping into your throat. Footsteps. Multiple.
Your instincts took over, and you immediately dropped into a defensive stance, your hand moving to your sidearm. But Jongho was already moving, stepping in front of you, his hand gripping your arm with surprising strength, hplding you close to him, almost like a protective shell.
"Y/N, please," he urged, his voice low, "You have to trust me."
You stared at him, torn between the cop in you screaming to follow protocol and the part of you that remembered the boy who had been your best friend, the one who had always been by your side.
“What have you gotten yourself into?” you whispered, your heart pounding as the footsteps drew closer.
“I’ll explain everything,” Jongho promised, his eyes locking with yours, filled with something that looked dangerously close to desperation. “But right now, we need to go. Please, Y/N. Trust me.”
Your mind screamed at you not to, told you this was a mistake. But when you looked into his eyes, those familiar eyes, you hesitated.
For better or worse, you were in this now.
"Where are we going?!" you whispered, holding onto the man's hand thightly.
"Home."
"It can't be.. home? As in.. the place I know v-very well..?" your voice weak, tears forming in your eyes. "H-how is it possible!?"
"Y/n, quiet down! I'll explain everything when we arrive. Now... please.." a hint of sweetness in his voice, "trust me like you did in the past.." Jongho said and brought you to his bike, parked remotely close to the initial scene you found him at. He put the only helmet he had on your head, brushing some hair strands from your face. He looked at you with soft eyes, feeling sorry for letting you meet him like this.. in the worst moment.
*you arrived about half and hour later, the drive there being silent*
"JONGHO! The fuck is going on!?" you shouted, breaking down in tears.
"No, n-no.. don't cry, sweetie . I am not worth it.." he said and hugged you, patting your head softly.
"What's happening!?"
"The thing is... I am.. the assassin you were just now searching for." he looked down, unable to meet your eyes.
"W-what do you mean?" you said, in disbelief.
"You know... back then, my father was caught in shady stuff, remember?"
"Yes. What do you have to do with all of that?"
"Well... he had a little bit too much debt to pay off and I was caught in the middle... I had to work and I am still working as an assassin for the person that my father is indebted to." hesitant, Jongho said.
"Oh my god... I'm s-sorry " you whispered and backed off for a moment, slightly afraid of the person that was standing in front of you.
But... when you backed off for a moment, Jongho caught after you and held your hand. Something change between the two of you qs soon as he embraced you.
---
The dim light from the single bulb above flickered, casting long shadows across the cold, concrete walls. The air was thick with tension as you stood a few inches from Jongho, the boy you once knew so well, now a man you barely recognized. His eyes were darker, sharper, filled with a hardness that sent a chill down your spine. He was no longer the childhood friend who used to hold your hand when you were scared or laugh with you under the summer sun. He was something else now. Dangerous. An assassin.
You had sworn to bring him in. The badge pressed against your chest, a constant reminder of the oath you'd taken. But as you stood there, the memories came flooding back—the nights the two of you spent talking about dreams, the way he used to smile at you, soft and unguarded. Your heart clenched with the weight of it all, of everything he used to be.
His gaze met yours, unreadable and cold, but you saw the flicker of something else in his eyes. Something familiar. The past. The feelings that had never quite died, buried beneath years of distance and pain.
"I shouldn't have brought you here," he said, his voice low, like a warning.
"Maybe not," you replied, taking a step forward despite the warning in his tone. The space between you felt electric, charged with something neither of you could control anymore. "But I don't regret coming."
His jaw tightened, and you could see the way his fists clenched at his sides. He was holding back, fighting whatever was stirring inside him. Your heart pounded in your chest, and despite every logical part of you screaming to back off, you stepped even closer.
"Jongho, we don’t have to do this," you whispered, voice soft, almost pleading. You weren’t sure what you were pleading for—for him to surrender or for him to remember who you used to be. "It doesn’t have to end like this."
His eyes darkened, and he took a step back, but the tension between you only seemed to grow. You reached out, fingers brushing against his arm. You felt him flinch, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, his breathing hitched, and for the briefest moment, you saw a crack in the mask he wore.
"Stop," he muttered, though his voice lacked conviction. "You don’t know what you’re doing."
But you did. You knew exactly what you were doing. You leaned in closer, left hand sliding up his arm, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt. His breath quickened, and you saw the way his eyes flicked down to your lips, then back up to your eyes. He was fighting it, but he was losing.
"Jongho…" you whispered his name like a secret, fingers tracing the edge of his jaw now. The air between you seemed to thicken, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved tension.
He swallowed hard, his hands coming up to grip your waist as if to push you away, but instead, he pulled you closer. His touch was rough, almost desperate, and you could feel the heat of his body radiating against yours.
"This is a mistake," he growled, though his hands tightened their hold on you, betraying his words.
"Then stop me," you whispered back, lips inches from his now, daring him, knowing he wouldn’t.
But he didn’t stop you. Instead, he closed the distance, crashing his lips against yours in a way that was more fight than kiss. It was raw, hungry, and filled with years of repressed desire and anger. His grip on you was firm, like he was afraid you might slip away if he let go.
"I hate you, Jongho. I hate you for leaving me all alone." you broke the kiss.
"I also hate you... for finding me so late. I've been looking for you everywhere."
For a moment, it was just the two of you. Lost in the chaos of the past, the lines between enemies, one another leaving each other in the past without trace and, lovers, feelings burried deep down for the last few years, blurring with every touch. But you knew this couldn’t last. The world outside this moment was waiting for both of you, and the roles you played were too deeply set. He was the assassin. You were the cop. You were on opposite sides.
But for now, in this moment, none of that mattered.
"This is, a really bad idea, Jongho... I resent you for leaving without a trace," your voice coarse from crying but full of lust.
"Mhm." he muttered in the nape of your neck. The little and soft sound he made sent you over the edge, he acknowledged the wrongdoing of this moment, but he wasn't gonna do anything about it.
"We're definitely just.. friends. Well.. enemies in this given, situation.." he whispered.
"It's fucking impossible not to hate you, Jongho."
"I know, I know... but your body says.." his right hand under your chin, "something else."
You looked down to your legs, thoughts running through your mind. You wanted to shoot him, arrest him... but you also wanted to fucking kiss him... or fuck him. When your eyes wandered around, you were greeted by his cock forming a bulge in his pants, telling you everything about his thoughts. Though, he interrupted your mind:
"Eyes are up here, darling," he whispered, knowing he was caught a moment ago by your eyes.
"Just checking if my cuffs fit around your wrists, babe." you said, a little bit embarrassed about the amount of time you spent staring at his crotch.
He continued right after you.
"Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you want to murder me..." his hand on your waist, traveling up on your back, "or also.. like you want me" a *click* could be heard and your bra was undone in a second.
He went in for another kiss, this time his hands traveling under your work shirt. Fondling with your breasts, he forcefully took off the garment. His kisses traveled from your moist lips to your neck and to tour collarbones, your hands going down to his pants, tugging at the belt.
"If I..." you said, Jongho stopping for a moment to look at you, "Touch you right now... what will happen?"
"Mm.. I don't know babe" he said, impatiently. "What would *you* want to happen, hm?" Jongho whispered, emphasising the pronoun.
He shut you down only by those words... your mind filling with dirty thoughts, not helping your aching cunt between your legs. Arousal now pooling in your panties, you didn't hesitate and unbuckled his pants. He took that as consent to do whatever he wanted, to which he took you into his grip and dropped you off on his bed.
"You started it.. brat" he said, as he looked down on his erection. "What should I do with you?" he scoffed.
"Why couldn't the cops deal with you yet?" you said, curious, trying to diffuse the mood.
"Hmm.. I don't know, actually. But that's not important right now.. are you tryna distract me?" Jongho declared, catching you off guard.
"Uh-" but he stopped you from saying anything by taking your pants off forcefully, leaving tou breathless and... bare in front of him.
"Hah, already wet? What, were you already turned on by my presence?" he muttered, hus gaze darkening and getting sharper.
He went in for another kiss, at first slow, longed, wanted.. then he went for a wilder kiss, tongues interlocking and lewd sounds coming from your mouths.
"It's so fucked up..." you said.
"Mm, why?"
"You're an assassin... I'm a cop. We're both enemies... and friends. But more... towards enemies. I also hate you so damn much for leaving me without a trace but.. here I am, making out with you. Isn't it ironic? Hah, making out with my utmost enemy that I have so much hatred, and... love for." you ended the note on a sadder tone, but the essence was that you hated him but made a compromise, only for him.
"What did you say, babe? I didn't quite understand you." he said, mocking your tone.
"I basically said I hate you."
"No, you don't." he said and took his pants off in a single movement, the bulge in his briefs making you gulp at the sight.
He got off of you for a moment and went to his coat, taking a knife out.
"Oh- my god-" you muttered, getting a little bit excited about it.
"I just remembered that you are... kinky as fuck, and one time when we were younger, we were talking about things like these and you said you had a thing for.. knife play? This is what it's named? Anyways, I figured you never tried it cause it's kinda weird? sketchy? however.." he topped over you, one of his knees between your legs, pressing on your inner thigh, "I'll have my fun with you today..." his left hand going to your neck, the knife's sharp side towards him, only poking your shoulder for a couple of times, getting some soft whines out of your slowly rising chest.
"Don't. Move." he said as he brushed the tip of the knife on your neck. You were trying so hard not to move under him, arousal pooling in your panties. You wanted to get some friction, but to no avail.
"I'd love to mark you here," and he poked you above your collarbone, "here," the blade went above your left breast, "and... here." he said as the knife in his hand travelled all down to your thigh, as close to your cunt as possible.
"You're already so... wet for me. Mind me if I.." he brushed the knife on your folds, through the cloth, "Undress you.. using... this? Hm, what do you say, sweetie?" he whispered softly, contently looking in your eyes and brushing the knife on your pussy, through the cloth.
"Ngh-d-do it, please!" you pleaded.
He smirked at your words and didn't hesitate any further. He looped the knife under the garment, cutting it open slowly. Then, after you were left bare in front of him, he spread out your wet folds with the knife, poking left and right, making you soflty squirm under him.
"Babe..." he smiled.
"Y-yes?"
"What did I say..." his knife went to your collarbone, "about moving?" and he slightly cut you. Not to hurt you.. but to warn you. A small, now bleeding cut, was positioned right above your collarbone.
He was all over you, his other hand exploring your body with such ease and speed, you were already starting to feel a bit overwhelmed.
"I can't just only look at you anymore" Jongho rapidly said, throwing the knife away somehwere on the bed and putting two fingers against & then in your cunt without warning. You let out a loud moan as soon as you felt his fingers curl inside you, hitting all your good spots. "Let's see how well you can take me" he whispered and used one more finger on you, slightly stretching you out. From the glimpse you caught of his cock a short moment ago, you realised his three fingers weren't.. quite enough to stretch you out for what he was packing.
He didn't wait anymore and as soon as he felt like you were stretched out enough he lined himself to your now aching hole and thrusted once, a loud whine coming out of his rapidly rising chest. He couldn't bottom out from a single thrust, and he tried again.. to which your eyes started tearing up and your hands went for his back, scratching the fuck out of him. Missionary never felt so good before.. Your legs over his, wrapped around his waist. Your hands traveling on his back, leaving both soft and harsh scratches on his fair skin.
"S-slow down!" you shouted, but didn’t really mean it.
"Hm? Come again darling, I couldn't.." he finally bottomed down, "hear you."
"Uh, god." you whined out, feeling your cunt being stretched out again.
"Why the fuck.. do you feel so damn good?" he said, helpless. His pelvis slapping against yours, squelching sounds could be heard from your hole being pounded.
What was happening between the two of you... wasn't simply just fucking or just having sex. It was pent up rage and love. Hate and lust.. everything all at once. You despised the fact that he left without a trace but.. the unsaid feelings and love you've always had for him were just resurfacing and oh god.. it was a damned deadly combination. His soft kisses yet harsh bites to your shoulders.. your nails digging and scratching his back.
"You're so damn beautiful, y/n..." he was basically making love to you.
"I'm so s-sorry for leaving unnannounced.." he was fucking you even more rapidly.. but smooth. Every thrust of his felt heavenly, his hands traveling on your body, from your thighs, holding you close.. to your neck, holding you down. As he fastened his thrusts, watching you contently and inspecting every inch of your body with his eyes, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your high. He was close, too. Thrusts heavy and sloppy, fast but messy. Sweat dripping off his forehead, his hair messy and yours too.
"J-Jongho I'm-" you tried to say, but to no avail. "c-close" you finally worded it out.
"Then.." he stopped for a short second. "Let me help you with that" and he suddenly started fucking you rapidly once again, but this time with a twist. His right hand went for your clit, rubbing circles around it. He pinched you twice, making you squirm under his grip, to which he put you in your place immediately. As soon as he thrusted you a few more times and circled your clit, you felt the knot in your belly unfold and came on the spot, your walls clenching onto his cock. Your sudden reaction of tightening yourself around him took him over the edge, too, and he also finished, right in your cunt. He fucked you through both your orgasms and eventually came to a stop, both of you panting as he laid down on your side in the bed.
"That was.."
"Awesome, huh?" he smirked.
"Y-yes" you whispered.
"Y/n...I'm so damn sorry for leaving you like this. I was just trying to protect you." he finally said.
"D-don't worry.. it's okay. I'm just glad you're safe, you dummy." you scoffed.
NETWORKS:
@illusionnet
@blossomnet
PERMANENT TAGLIST:
@mingleshine @musiclovingfairy @crazylittlebisexual @sanhwalvr @gong-fourz @arki-sha @artistic-rendition @hongjoongtime117
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The Secret of Us 💛, Midsummer ☀️, and Dec 13 ✌️
So I was gonna point this out a while ago but I kinda forgot until I was reminded just now but I think now is a great time to bring it up anyway.
I’ve previously talked abt all the connections to Midsummer/Midsommar (x)(x). I learned abt a lot of these connections from this excellent twt thread and in this thread Melissa points out sth very interesting:
Taylor emphasized the number 174 during one of her eras tour speeches meaning it must be important (see this vid). The 174th day of this yr is June 22 which is Midsummer. This makes June 21 Midsummer Eve and obviously Gracie just released her album today that Taylor is featured on. Midsummer celebrates daylight so this lines up w the lover era failed coming out happening at the end of pride month and lover originally being called daylight. Plus the secret of us is very yellow and Gracie has been highlighting this w the yellow hearts lately 💛 which means yellow = daylight/sunshine/summer (Taylor uses summer as a metaphor in the same way she uses daylight as a metaphor).
Now if you double (✌️) the number 174, you get 348. And what is the 348th day of this yr?? OH IT’S FRIDAY, DEC 13 🙃
This date was displayed in the Spotify Library Installation. And as this account points out, Taylor was not born on a Friday so this Dec 13 is likely referring to Dec 13 of this yr which aligns w my theory that sth really huge is probably going to happen around Taylor’s birthday and New Year’s Eve this yr (see this post).
(x)
I believe that the end of this yr will be when Taylor (and probably several other celebs too) will finally step into the daylight and return to the 1989 era. And to add even more evidence, the literal meaning of Midsummer is “the middle of summer.” So you can also interpret it as being midway to summer. Half of 348 is 174 which means summer/daylight will happen Dec 13 so we are halfway there.
I’m not sure if I did a good job articulating that so I also drew a diagram explaining my thought process lol.
#i love when the math maths#numerology#summer#midsummer#midsommar#daylight#mass coming out theory#gaylor#gaylor swift#kaylor#gracie abrams#the secret of us#us#12/13#6/21#6/22#174#348#duality#peace sign
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!!!!!!!!!!! New Cthulhu Season has started!! this time featuring:
The band at our fancy party started playing a song that Sammy INSTANTLY recognised as his own improv, played a year and some change ago from the balcony of a New Orleans hotel to calm his nerves, which really should not be turning up perfectly replicated here and unsettled him so much that he ended up trying to communicate this to Jack in the LEAST CLEAR WAY IMAGINABLE
we got a supernatural partycrasher at the fancy party which means wE GOT PROPHET IN A SUIT!!! FANCY PROPHET FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES!! his previously prophesied warning of what was to come included the phrase "a report that silences the tongue of ythill," which is apparently what this was, and he got SO EXCITED about the appearance of this weird man making people bleed from the eyes that he booted Sammy from the front to take it all in. THE TIME IS FINALLY AT HAND!!!
i also have a lil smattering of out-of-context quotes from session 1 if ur into that sort of thing: here under the cut!
[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]
[Jack] Aw, there's no snow in the year before, so probably no snowball fights for Christmas, [GM] Well, we can invent our own, that's fine. [Sammy] It's the ONE difference! IDENTICAL TO OUR WORLD, except for on December 25th there was snow, don't worry about it. [GM] And tape recorders! [Sammy] There's tape recorders, and there was snow on December 25th, 1934. [Sammy] AND ALSO CTHULHU IS REAL. But other than that it's exactly the same. [GM] That's it, just those little things. [Henry] A minor detail.
[GM] Another question: Christmas is on a Tuesday, does the Studio get days off? [Joey] In the Cthulhu universe, yes… And It's All Henry's Fault.
[Jack] Anyone who failed their Sanity gain checks in '35 -- it's the anticipation. [Sammy] Yeah, it's just driving you absolutely bonkers that this prophecy still hasn't happened, can it go ahead and get it over with? I hate having this hanging over my head! [Sammy] And if you PASS your sanity check, and gained sanity, it could be that you're just INCREASINGLY IN DENIAL. Like, you know what? Maybe he forgot!
[Jack] Jack's the most likely to keep up with these poor people we keep roping into our nonsense! [Joey] Hey, HEY! [Jack] "Welcome to the group! You're only here for a little bit, but have some trauma! Trauma for you! And trauma for you! BYE"
[Sammy] We're like Absol. We're not CAUSING the trouble, but it IS in our wake, constantly. [Jack] Absol is 100% a modern teenage Joey Drew's fursona. [Joey] ….Yeah…
[Henry] Is it an easier apartment to get to, for Joey, than the one he has? [Joey] That is a really good question. [GM] It has ONE flight of stairs, but it doesn't have ten zillion flights, so I mean, it's better, probably! It DID have an evil ritual in it,
[Jack] *reading the inflation calculator* $1,000 in 1935 is… 22 thousand.. and a half… dollars????? [Joey] GREAT! *claps* STUDIO'S FUNDED! :D [Jack] Joey, no, [Sammy] You can do that with YOUR money, [Joey] I mean, that IS what's going to happen to Joey's money, Joey's just going to immediately dump it into the studio. Grant gets a LOVELY holiday present where suddenly, the numbers are not in the red anymore! [GM] This is how Grant doesn't become the final boss. [Sammy] Is that a present? IS THAT A PRESENT??? Grant looks at the numbers and they're suddenly bigger? WHAT'S HAPPENING [Jack] Sounds like a tax nightmare… he assumes his mind is broken, he's gone delusional, [Sammy] Joey's not thinking about how this affects TAXES he's just like, OH BOY! More money! Grant'll work that out. :) [Joey] Yeah! :D
[Sammy] Oh wow, mistletoe's been around for a while. [Sammy] …I say, as if mistletoe, the plant, is newly invented,
[Jack] We need to even the playing field; Henry's the highest, we need to drag him down to our level!
[GM] Let's say it's just you guys, and Peter and Susie, and Norman took off. [Sammy] Aw, don't wanna stay late? Old man, gotta get to bed? [GM] Maybe not if people are saying THAT at him,
*after finding a major ice rink was not built until 1936* [GM] Well, maybe everyone can do that when they DEFINITELY survive and come out victorious next year! :) [Sammy] ….survive?! Nothing's happened! It's a CHRISTMAS PARTY. [Jack] I HOPE we're surviving the Christmas Party, the food's not THAT bad, is it? [Henry] We solved your Christmas puzzle! [Jack] The Christmas Puzzle is how much food can we trick Joey into eating by handing it to him,
[Jack] Oh no, Spark's gone to… CATCOSA…. !
[Sammy] That's fine, Disney still hasn't caught up with us, so. [Jack] Well they're havin' this whole weird issue with like, ink and cultists, it's a bit weird… bunch of the staff started going missing…? [Sammy] *laughing* The entirety of Bendy and the Ink Machine happens, just OVER THERE. We averted it so now Disney has to do it.
[Henry] I will say, Henry's been a little uneasy all day. This doesn't affect anything, it's just for flavour. [GM] But he is in a really nice suit! [Sammy] Well THAT's why he's uneasy. They had to smooth his hair, and he's in a whole suit, [GM] In a vest that actually fits, [Henry] Unrecognisable. [Jack] Who is this stranger?
[GM] Make spot (hidden) checks! [Jack] *whispering* I hope it's Norman. [GM] Both of you spot a familiar face, before he's able to come accost you -- it's not Norman, it's Denis! [Sammy] oh gosh. [Joey] Well… I don't know if that's better or worse than my initial guess of Avedon,
[GM] He greets you all cheerful-like, "fancy meeting you here!" sort of thing-- [Sammy] Sammy still doesn't shake his hand. [GM] --he knows you as Joseph, doesn't he? [Joey] Oh no…. Joey was trying to hide his name in New Orleans… [Jack] That's fine, it's all about reinvention!
[Sammy] You know how in the Illusion of Living, Wally comes up and Joey randomly starts talking about how he's a great guy and a hard worker, and you're like, we were talking about something else ten seconds ago Joey PLEASE stay focused, [Sammy] Anyway, I'm imagining that but with Peter?
[Sammy] The Studio just had a big release last year, and I just got this really nice car! and *mumbling* those events aren't actually connected, BUT!! Through the power of leaving out the middle bit, you can assume they are!
[GM] Sammy, make a listen check! [Sammy] EXTREME SUCCESS, I rolled a THREE. [GM] Oh cool! Make a sanity check! [Sammy] oh no,,, [Joey] *Mario voice* HERE WE GO!
[Sammy] Sammy is gonna look at Joey, see that Joey is like…. in the midst of a conversational manoeuvre, and go, run try to find Jack. I don't know if he'll GET there, but, [GM] He can at least locate Jack, I would think, unless Jack is in a back room kissing boys or whatnot!
[GM] This guy is wearing a really severe, matte black suit, and has unnaturally white skin, his hair is black and very oiled in a severe widow's peak-- [Jack] It's him! Bendy Inkmachine!! [GM] I'm reading this description RIGHT from the book, I need you to know that.
[GM] The music's also definitely come to a stop, while all this was going on. And then there's a gunshot! And now there's just a big, yknow, panic, like you get! [Jack] Avedon's here! [Sammy] There'd be more French-accented yelling if Avedon were here. [Joey] I like how we're just going to end up willing Avedon into this scenario by making repeated "Avedon's here" jokes, [Jack] I mean, I've been trying to do the same with Norman, but it's either not working, or we haven't rolled Spot high enough to find him yet!
[GM] You guys get interviewed and asked what you saw, and what happened! [Sammy] …hang on, I gotta roll a check. [Sammy] *rolls* … OKAY COOL Sammy's back. [Joey] *laughing* Sammy interview, or Prophet interview? [Sammy] They were going to get a REALLY interesting interview if I rolled better on willpower!
[GM] Do you suppose Joey would've helped Susie shop for a dress that she could conceal a firearm in? [Joey] [Joey] sURE! [Joey] I mean I feel like, "would Joey help Susie shop for a dress," stop the sentence there: absolutely yes. There's other things to consider with dress? Well that just makes it a fun challenge now!
[GM] The police ask you what you saw. What do you tell them, about your experiences this evening? [Sammy] Sammy didn't see a lot. There was some commotion and a gunshot. [Joey] Yeah, I think Joey's just going to report that he just heard commotion happening up front, and quickly decided that he wasn't interested in commotion!
[Henry] Who was it who saw people with bloody eyes? [Sammy] Uh, that was Sammy, he's not mentioning that part.
[Jack] *rolls* Normal success for Jack. [Henry] *rolls* Hard success! [Sammy] *rolls* EXTREME success, I rolled a ten! [Joey] *rolls* …what's the fumble point, again?
[GM, as Denis] "There was a yellow sign at the Mardi Gras party last year! I thought it was a lucky charm, but I guess… it wasn't? I had a friend who said it wasn't, actually. You should watch out for those signs. Yes." [Joey] *so tired* Okay, that's… that's fine… [Henry] "Very helpful, thank you." [Jack] (This guy's great, can we keep him?) [Joey] (NO.)
[Henry] Henry is going to have so much anxiety. Like, just in general, but over this, too. [Sammy] "going to"??? [Henry] *laughing* No, you're right. What I'm learning is that Henry CAN slide into being mostly even-headed about crises, but he has to have a moment of "Oh God, oh fuck, oh geez" first. [GM] I think Peter does that in reverse. [Sammy] Yeah, that makes sense -- Sammy just shoots straight for "OH COOL, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!"
[GM] How much do you suppose these boys are up on vernacular and slang? [Henry] Henry might've picked up something from his kids, that's all I've got [Sammy] That's cute… Henry knows what yeet means... [Joey] I WAS ALSO GONNA SAY HENRY KNOWS WHAT YEET MEANS,
[Sammy] I do appreciate Jack being the one to notice that the prophecy might be a pun.
[Sammy] What do we even DO with this? What do we do next… [Joey] *muttering* That's what I've been trying to think of for the last like… half hour, Sammy…! [Joey] This isn't Joey-voice, this is just me-voice. [Jack] Yeah, Joey would never admit weakness in front of Peter Sunstram. [Joey] Yeah. Correct.
[Jack] Well if anyone else wants coffee, Jack might end up makin' some! [Jack] You know, that 11:30 coffee.
[Sammy] "Well, if he plays clarinet, let us know." [GM] Peter tips his head as if he's thinking of looking that up -- not looking it up, looking into it! [Jack] Yeah, just google it, Pete! What are you waiting for! [GM] On his cell phone, [Jack] You gotta pull out your Bendyphone! [Sammy] JDS is responsible for all anachronistic devices.
[Jack] Is It An Insanity Or Is It Just The ADHD
[Joey] Is Joey gonna make stupid decisions…? [Sammy] JOEY,,, [Sammy] Augh, I should've gone with him, [Joey] *rolls* *starts cackling maniacally* [Jack] *deadpan* Oh gee I wonder what the result is, [Joey] *audibly grinning* Joey might try to dream spell… Y? [Sammy] WHAT?! [Henry] Joey what are you doing…. [Sammy] JOEY DREW!!!
[Henry] I roll to see if Henry's "Joey's Doing Something Stupid" senses are tingling [Joey] Yeah, I think it's fair for Henry to have a "Is Joey Doing Something Stupid" sense that goes off fifty percent of the time, [Sammy] It's NOT USEFUL because it's ALWAYS HAPPENING,
#quote post#call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx#sammy lawrence#jack fain#prophet sammy#when in doubt just keep drawing#already vibrating about these boys once again
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THE KISS CAM
Pairing : Jeon Jeongguk x Y/N
Genre : Fluff, dating au
Word count : 1k
Summary : you appear on the KISS CAM but with the wrong person…
Weekends…
There was nothing special about weekends. For you weekends were boring. It consisted of you munching some potato chips, binge watching Kdramas, living up to your name of night owl. That was it. That was the end of it.
But that was until Jungkook came along, your boyfriend of 6 months. Weekends never felt so amazing…
Loving him was so easy…
It felt so natural…
He was shy. He was tired and messy hairs. He was oversized clothes and ripped jeans. He was whispers at 4 am. He was the smell before it rains. He was the love of her life. A love she never expected would be hers. A love so pure, that it feels to good to be true.
Author’s POV
Ding Dong
“Coming…” you yell loud enough for the entire neighbour hood to hear you before making your way to the door to open it.
There he was standing looking handsome, dashing, cool, amazing as ever… Words were never enough to describe him.
“Ready to go?” He enquired before complimenting how beautiful you looked. He always does that. He’ll call you beautiful even if you were ugly-crying some moments ago. He’ll call you beautiful even if you just woke up and ur face is all swollen up. You were always beautiful in his eyes.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You chimed in making sure to lock the door before you left.
Jungkook had been so into baseball recently, that he convinced you into going to one of the matches that was being held today.
Time skip
“There, that’s our seat.” He said pointing in the direction of two empty seats, both of you making your way into the direction.
The whole stadium was packed with tons of people. More than half of the population wearing their representative team’s uniform. It was spectacular.
“Y/N, is that you?” You heard a familiar voice beside you, hitting your eardrums, which made you turn your head in the direction.
“Yijoon?”
Hwang Yijoon, or more like your crush during high school. Although you did have feelings for him, but that was a thing in the past. As they always say, first love is never successful.
You grew up, your feeling changed. Both of you lost contact owing to the new chapter of adulting in your respective lives. You both got busy in the marathon of growing up.
You’ve told Jungkook about Yijoon once when he inquired who was the guy in your graduation photo, with hearts drawn all over him. Yes, it was you who drew the hearts, your only means of expressing your love for him.
“Omg, Yijoon-ah, how long has it been?” You were beyond ecstatic to meet him.
“I almost forgot about your existence.”
“Well, that was harsh.” He said placing his hand on his heart.
“You grew up so much Y/N, I almost couldn’t recognise you without your braces and bangs.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You laughed swaying your hair.
Both of you got so busy in catching up that you never realised the game had started and that you had a human being accompany you today.
Jungkook’s POV
“Sigh…” this is the umpteenth time I have been sighing.
I’ve been trying so hard to concentrate on the game but all I can concentrate is on them. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but it is her CRUSH being referred here. HER F**KING CRUSH.
I so badly want to go and sit between them and tell that guy, “hey dude, we are on a date, and if you don’t mind I’ll have my girlfriend to myself.”
Author’ POV
“Umm…Y/N? Who’s that guy? He has been eyeing us for a while now.” Yijoon inquired.
It was at this moment, she knew she f**ked up.
You quickly turned your attention towards Jungkook giving him an apologetic look.
“Yijoon, meet Jungkook, Jungkook, meet Yijoon.” You quickly introduced both of them.
“Hi, I am Jungkook, Y/N’s boyfriend. I’ve heard a lot about you from Y/N.” Jungkook gave a strong handshake to Yijoon, asserting himself, jealousy clearly visible on his face.
“Hopefully good things.” Yijoon replied.
Before you knew it, it was break time, or should I say KISS CAM TIME.
Numerous couples appeared on the screen, many of them eventually giving in and kissing, all the while, kiss me more by Doja cat played in the background.
“Aww, they are soo adorable.” You squealed clapping your hands, looking at couples on the screen have the time of their lives.
But that was until you appeared on the screen…
With Yijoon…
Oh shit…
You crossed your hands indicating you and Yijoon are not together. Yijoon even tried pointing at Jungkook. But no matter what, the camera wouldn’t budge.
Now even the crowd started chanting, “ kiss kiss kiss….”
That was the end of it. That was the final straw for Jungkook. He pulled you in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft. Our lips were madly in love and married. It didn’t involve tongue. All that was involved was love and longing. Longing for each other.
You could hear the crowd cheering and clapping in the background. But that was all white noise. All that mattered in this moment was you and him. It was your moment.
You pulled away after some time, running short of breath. Your eyes met his.
“Your face is soo…..red. Are you fine?” Jungkook quickly made sure to check your temperature by placing his hand on your forehead.
“I’m fine.” To which he nodded. You could feel your face pulsating, adrenaline still in your veins making a run for it. Conclusion- you were blushing.
“Y/N, you should know you have good taste in men.” Yijoon whispered beside you.
#bts#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook smut#bts fluff#bts imagine#jeon jeongguk#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#park jimin#bts ffs#bts scenarios#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#min yoongi#bts reactions#jungkook au#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfic recs#kpop smut#kpop#x reader#bts jungkook#bts fanfics#bts ff#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts rm#bts jin
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It's So Hard To Watch (Everything I Want) - reality tv star!Rafe Cameron x Reader
I Feel You Underneath My Tongue (Next To Every Word That I Should Have Said): Part 1, Part 2
Summary: You and Rafe had a long history together. The love that you shared wasn’t something that you’d ever questioned–not even when you guys were on a break from your relationship. But, suddenly he’s ghosting you. And the next thing you know? You’re getting a call from an MTV producer saying your ex Rafe is a contestant on Are You The One? and they need to come in for the ex’s episode of the show. And well, you couldn’t say no, could you?
CW/TWs: angst, female reader implied, cursing, toxic relationships afoot, a brief description of physical violence, implied previous physical violence, verbal harassment/abuse, not the most edited/reviewed
Words: 8.4k+
Note: Yes I used pretty boy blonde-era Drew for my header what about it!! And also? I used Jeff Probst because I thought it would be funny OBVIOUSLY he’d never host a reality tv dating show goodbye. So I started writing this a long time ago, forgot about it, and just revisited it to finish ‘er up. Now that said, uhhhhh I think I mayyyyy do a part 2 where Rafe gets back home because this is uhhhhh depressing and I Need closure. But! We’ll see!
Rafe Cameron had never been one you’d see going on a fucking reality TV show. No. Not at all, in fact. You had known him for the majority of his life. You’d dated the idiot for three years too. After the breakup, you went no contact for your own sake—he was impossible to be around and not fall back into his arms, no matter how much you hated it. Rafe hated it more, though. He tried desperately in the nearly year and a half since your break-up to get back together. You watched as he genuinely worked on changing himself and improving.
But then, suddenly, four months earlier he’d gone radio silent. You’d be the worst kind of liar if you said that it hadn’t hurt you. The abrupt cut-off had made you realize just how close you’d been to taking him back. Apparently, that wasn’t in the cards, though. Apparently, he was entirely over you. No matter how much you utterly fucking hated that. No matter how much it fucking destroyed you after those first two weeks of realizing that he wasn’t going to be coming back.
It got even weirder, though when a fucking MTV producer reached out to you. We’re with MTV’s Are You The One? they’d explained. You’re the ex of one of our contestants Rafe Cameron. Literally what? Would you be interested in getting a trip to Hawaii and being part of the experience? And again, unendingly now, what the actual fuck had Rafe gotten himself into? And why the fuck was he trying to have you be dragged into it?
All of the emotions that flooded you when that phone call started were…violent to say the least. And you were sad too. Part of you had hoped that Rafe would get the fuck over himself and call you again. Part of you hoped that you would’ve been able to give it another shot. But no. Apparently, he’d decided it’d be much more fun to just, you know, go on a stupid dating show with MTV and find his alleged perfect match. It made you sick to your stomach.
Are You the One was a show that felt like it was ripped from your worst nightmares. At least if Rafe was a contestant on it with someone else. The show had a dating algorithm that helps quantify compatibility for twenty-two people. It uses, according to the producer, in-depth interviews, some questionnaires, and then compatibility tests too. So, in the end, the contestants are set with their ideal match. With “their one” apparently. So, the unaware participants have to then get to know each other and undergo tests all while living with all of each other. And if, in the end, all eleven couples were able to figure out who they were after all eight weeks were up then they’d walk away with one million dollars and, potentially, the future love of their life.
The thought of Rafe meeting…
Naturally, you accepted the producer’s offer.
Topper, one of your best friends, even now–even after everything, told you how stupid of an idea it was to agree.
Even so, he booked his own tickets to come to Hawaii with you.
And that was how you found yourself at an insanely gorgeous resort in Oahu a month later with little to no information on what was actually going on or what would be expected of you. The only consolation was that you were far from the only ex here. It looked like every contestant had one person here for them. You were, however, one of the only… normal-seeming ones. Not for the first time since landing you cursed yourself for going along with this stupidity. Sure they wouldn’t really have another ex to call for Rafe that was actually an ex but that was their problem, not yours. Besides, if there’s one thing MTV can do it’s lie about their reality television shows. Even so, waiting in their stupid green room area altogether for whatever stupid instructions were to come next felt…well, stupid.
You heard your name called over your shoulder and you turned your head. “Hey, pretty girl. Now who is your ex again?” asked an extremely tall, well-built, and objectively gorgeous man next to you. He was grinning at you, the look in his eyes displaying an all-too-familiar attraction. But, if there was one thing you weren’t going to be doing? Fucking any of these weirdos. But, a little flirting couldn’t help. “Was it…was it Ryan?”
“So close. Rafe,” you corrected, giving him a half-smile. “It’s Alex, right? And your ex was Thalia?” He nodded. You hummed, shrugging. They’d shown you the audition videos they’d been given and Thalia seemed…interesting. “She looked super beautiful.”
“Yeah, beautiful and an absolute fucking nutcase,” he said seriously, even as he grinned. “She was always doing some dumb shit. Trying to accuse me of cheating on her when I was at work. Trying to fuck my brother when I told her that we were done.”
You let out a low whistle. “Damn, so you got a score to settle then,” you mused, leaning back in the chair to look at him. “I can respect that. I’m sure the producers love it.”
He nodded. “Oh they do,” he confirmed. He nudged your shoulder playfully and then winked. “Sorry, but I might be dragging your man down because of it. Word on the street is they’ve been paired up the past two weeks or something.” Your heart squeezed in a sad pain and you dutifully ignored it. “Don’t trip though, I’m gonna set him straight on what’s up with Thalia.”
“I don’t care,” you immediately replied, voice sharp and entirely unconvincing.
He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, sure,” he agreed, rolling his eyes. “You’ve been sitting here alone in your own little world instead of talking to all of us so I got a feeling you’re a little wrapped up in all this. And in him.” You shook your head in denial, rolling your eyes at the very true accusation. He chuckled again and this time you raised an eyebrow at him. “So what? Did y’all like break up a week before he came on or whatever?”
Clenching your jaw, you reminded yourself that this was just a stranger making conversation. There was no need to blow up on him. That was Rafe’s thing, not yours. “We broke up like a year and a half ago,” you said plainly.
“After how long?” he asked curiously.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids. We started on and off hooking up in…like high school—which our friends hated, of course. We went to separate colleges, but like…we just couldn’t stay away from each other. And by the time my senior year of college came? We were visiting each other practically every other weekend. Our friends had to inform us we’d been dating for like two years already at that point,” you said, shrugging. “But after he officially asked me and we made it exclusive…official…whatever? We were together for a little over three years.”
His nose wrinkled. “And y’all still run in the same circles and all that?” he asked, a sympathetic grimace on his face. You nodded. This time, he let out a low whistle. “Yeah, that’s fucked. Known each other your whole damn lives and he still couldn’t post up for you. That’s crazy. You’re way too beautiful to be treated like that.”
“I know,” you said dryly.
“Nah, sorry, sorry,” he said, winking. “I don’t mean it, like, to flirt with you. Promise.” You raised an eyebrow and he laughed. “Okay, only a little.” He sobered up, rubbing his hands together. “Still. Must be hard. Can’t even have that separation.”
You hummed. “No, we did. After the break up for like a month I didn’t talk to him. Avoided all our mutual friends, the whole bit. But then I remembered how much I fucking loved him regardless of our relationship. The…the issues that we had were…I didn’t leave him because I didn’t love him. I left him because I couldn’t keep enabling him. Remembered I didn’t want to lose that. So, like…I started to talk to him again. He was making genuine…good steps toward being a better man. One that he claimed would be worthy of me or whatever. But then five months ago or so he just…stopped talking altogether. Wouldn’t answer a phone call, text…nothing. So I just…took the hint. Next thing I knew I was getting a call from a fucking MTV producer. And now here I am. Talking to you.”
“You want him back?” the guy asked curiously. You glared half-heartedly at him. “No, no. I’m just asking because I fully plan to hook up with Thalia tonight, I ain’t gonna lie to you. So I’m just saying that door’s gonna be open.”
“All I want from him is to know why he went on a dating show and dragged me into it,” you corrected. He smirked at your side and you held up a hand in warning. “Don’t you say a damn word. What was I gonna do? Say no to a free Hawaiian vacation? Fuck that. I’m gonna stay here and enjoy myself.”
“Then go home to eat a metric ton of ice cream and cry, right?” he asked casually.
“Fucking Christ, dude we just met!” you said. “Why you dragging me like I’m the one dating your ex?”
He laughed. “Oh, no, baby girl, I’m gonna be dragging your ex. You? I’m just teasing,” he said.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “I mean, hey, feel free,” you said, inclining your head.
That seemed to end the conversation between you both. Just in time, it seemed because a producer then came and started herding the group around like cattle. Each of the exes was briefly obsessed over by assistants who made sure our outfits—ones they chose, of course—hair and makeup were all perfect. Only when everyone was set were you approached by another production assistant.
“Alright listen up!” the stern-looking young woman called. “We’re going to be sending you out in pairs. So whoever your ex is matched with currently is who you’re going to be going out with. We’re sending you out and leaving a minute gap between to get the reactions of the contestants. The plan is to send you out in order from the newest matches to the longest matches.” She glanced down at the clipboard in her hands. “So first we have the newest match Amelia and Jacques, so…Jordan and…also Jordan line up.”
You watched as male Jordan and female Jordan stood next to each other. On and on it went. Ten couples called before you. You felt your hand trembling at your side with unexpressed emotion and you drummed at your thigh in an attempt to stop it. Ten couples called before you.
“I told you they were together, gorgeous, didn’t I?” Alex whispered in your ear as you stood side to side.
“Last couple, and the longest…Rafe and Thalia,” she said. The words stung and settled in your stomach like lead. Your feet moved you into the line at the end before she’d even finished saying yours and Alex’s name. Alex stood next to you, his hand brushing the small of your back, bringing you back down to the moment, snapping out of the distraction. “Alright. From the top. First two, my Jordans, you’re out in two minutes. I’ll be right back to get you.”
“How you feeling hearing that?” Alex whispered to you. “It’s been six weeks in that fucking house and they’ve been together like all of it. I’m fucking pissed.”
“I don’t know why I came here,” you admitted after a moment.
He barked out a laugh. “Well, too late to back out now,” he said dryly.
“Yeah,” you whispered. You folded your arms across your chest watching as the first group was taken out then the next then the next then the next. Abruptly after the last before you were taken out, you looked to Alex. “Do I look okay?
“What?” he asked, surprised.
“Do I look okay? I can’t walk out there if I don’t look okay,” you replied anxiously, wringing your hands in front of you.
He looked you up and down grinning. “You look super fucking hot. Don’t worry about that,” he said easily, slinging his arm around your shoulder, jostling you gently as if you were lifelong friends and hadn’t met two hours earlier. “Now buck up, gorgeous. We gotta get our game faces on. We gotta go.”
As if summoned by his word, the production assistant came back for you two gesturing you two out into the fray. You kept your face carefully neutral, noting Alex doing the same at your side. You exited, eyes doing anything but looking in the direction of the contestants. You moved onto the pedestal where the other exes were, Alex’s hand touching your lower back as you both moved up. You gave him a half-smile, recognizing the reflexive protective gesture. You could feel burning stares on you and you hated it. Evidently, someone didn’t like that.
Eventually, having no other choice, you turned your eyes towards the contestants. The first place your eyes fell was on a taller woman, with perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous dark hair that practically hung to her ass, and—speaking of her ass, boy did she have a good one. Thalia. You could tell because your eyes drifting just to her side was your Rafe. No. Just Rafe. Her Rafe, actually. He looked relatively at ease by his posture. But, both of them were glaring at you and Alex.
“So,” came the voice of the host. “All of the exes are here.”
MTV had managed to bag Jeff Probst of all fucking people. Appropriate, you supposed considering that the show was modeled after Survivor in that there are competitions and voting involved. Much lower stakes all around, physically at least. Everyone nodded at Jeff’s words and you couldn’t help but try to pretend you were on the Survivor jury instead of standing here in this objectively awful situation. There was a low murmur from the contestants’ side. But, on the opposite platform, everyone was silent.
“Wow…pretty silent here,” Jeff commented. “Especially considering I know how loud all of you can be on days like this.” He looked pointedly over at the contestants. “So…how are we feeling? What’s it like seeing your exes standing here looking at you as you stand next to who you hope to be your perfect match?” He made a point of looking over at us and then back to the contestants. “Thalia, why don’t you tell us how you’re doing with all this.”
The girl next to Rafe took a dramatically deep, shaky breath. You watched as Rafe’s hand moved to her back, rubbing it soothingly. He looked down at her, a soft sort of look in his eyes and you felt nauseous in a way that you didn’t expect. You carefully steadied your breathing and focused your gaze just past them. She took a moment, turning towards Rafe and murmuring something that you were sure the mic packs on them could pick up even though you couldn’t hear it. You watched as Rafe replied quietly and then pressed a quick kiss to the side of her head.
It spiked your fucking blood pressure.
“Thalia,” Jeff prompted.
“Sorry, Jeff,” she said, a sugary sweet voice watery and wavering. “It’s just…it’s hard. To see him. And to see her too, honestly. I mean…I mean knowing what he did to me. Knowing what she did to Rafe. Hell, knowing what everyone else’s exes were like too…this just…it’s awful, honestly. We’re here to try and move forward and still somehow it feels like all we’re doing is sliding back.” She fanned at her eyes.
“You seem really upset,” Jeff said, nodding. “How does it…how is it that the mere presence of your exes could cause this much stress for you? Do you not have confidence in your relationships? Do you think this is going to cause problems…have the cracks started to show?”
“Fuck no!” Thalia snapped. “I just don’t want to even see this bitch. I don’t want to see her even fucking breathe in Rafe’s direction. I don’t want her ass to even speak on him. I know that the way she treated him and it doesn’t matter how fucking pretty she is on the outside I know what an ugly, horrible, frigid ass bitch she is on this inside! I don’t need that fucking energy around and Rafe sure as shit doesn’t! It’s not my fault she fumbled and lost him! He’s a fucking catch and I’m not gonna act like I’m not glad about it. He’s my man now and she’s just gonna have to deal with it. That’s it. The end. I don’t fucking care! I don’t want to see her stupid ass face.” She scoffed. “And you know me, Jeff. I’ll fucking beat someone’s ass if they fuck with the people I love.”
You didn’t particularly care about the girl’s words. You didn’t know her. She was an attention-starved brat…or rat if you were going to give in to the more malicious thoughts in your mind. She wanted to be famous…as famous as you could get from trashy reality TV, at least. Her words didn’t matter. Rafe’s reaction certainly did though. He just clenched his jaw and looked up towards the sky and then cast his eyes down. Still, his hand stayed on her back, rubbing it soothingly. That boiled your blood, admittedly. And, it seemed that the girl’s words actually pissed off Alex more.
“Watch your fucking mouth, Thalia. God, you don’t even know her,” he said snappily.
“Oh, and you do? You don’t fucking know her or the shit she’s done. Don’t even talk to me,” she snapped back in reply.
“Just like how these people don’t know all the shit that you’ve done!” he replied. He turned his eyes to Rafe. “And you? This girl? Who you claimed to love for years and years and years and have known like your whole life, what? You’re cool with some girl you met a month ago talking like that? The fuck is wrong with you, bro?”
“Don’t fucking call me bro,” Rafe said, a lazy, hard-edged smirk on his mouth and a glint in his eyes that displayed the carefully concealed rage just beneath the surface. “And you need to watch your fucking mouth coming in here talking like that to anybody.”
“Yeah, okay,” Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Jeff cleared his throat. “Emotions are already running high,” he noted. He said your name, turning all eyes towards you. “You haven’t even said a word and yet you’ve been the center of attention since you came out here. So, what’s all this like for you?”
You hated the feeling of the lights and the eyes all on you. It made you want to twitch. Instead, you kept your face in a mask and shrugged. “Don’t particularly care,” you said blandly.
“Yeah because you’re an emotionless robotic bitch,” Thalia near-yelled.
“Thalia. Let’s let her talk,” Jeff said, his words a suggestion but tone a command. He turned back towards you, gesturing at you with his hand. “Please, go on. Tell us why you decided to come if you knew something like this might happen.”
You gave Jeff a saccharine smile. “Always wanted to visit Oahu,” you said, biting back the sarcasm that threatened to overcome you. The other exes laughed in amusement and agreement at the sentiment but sobered up when Jeff called us back to order.
“Nothing else? It didn’t have anything to do with a desire for closure? To feel like you had to warn someone else about Rafe? To see how you’d measure up to this potential new perfect match he has? These are just some of the reasons that exes on past seasons have given for their appearances,” Jeff pointed out.
“Nah, definitely not for closure…I don’t think this place is where you’d get something like that. You’d kind of be an idiot to try with some people, I’m sure,” you said. Then, you shrugged. “And I have no desire to warn other people about Rafe. Everyone’s got their own red flags and no one listens to advice anyways so there’s absolutely no point.” You hummed, lips twitching up for a moment then flattening out. “And yeah, I don’t care about whatever potential little…perfect match or whatever there is. I don’t compare myself to other people, even when they apparently desperately want me to. So…yeah, Jeff. It really just is the trip to Oahu. And hey? Who else were they gonna call for Rafe?”
Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.
It was so much more than that.
You’d die before admitting it.
“Interesting,” he said. “And, not to make things uncomfortable. But let’s address the elephant in the room. You’ve looked at Rafe maybe twice since you came in here. What’s it like to be with him in a situation like this? What’s it like to have Alex next to you defend you from his own ex’s words all while Rafe doesn’t say anything?”
You let out a short laugh. “Yeah, I don’t usually stare at people, so I certainly don’t feel any sort of need to do so now. And I’m not particularly…surprised by him not defending me. It’s never been his style,” you said simply. You saw him tense slightly and roll his eyes but you ignored him wholly. You glanced over to Alex. “It was nice of Alex to defend me, I guess.” Thalia scoffed and you resisted the urge to launch yourself at her and punch her. You were better than that. You weren’t going to be the asshole here. It was going to be clear that it was her. You were determined. “But I’m a big girl. I can fight my own battles.”
Jeff nodded. “Well, you haven’t reacted to what most people here would consider a fight being brought directly in front of you. Thalia has made it extremely clear how she feels about you. She’s also made it extremely clear what the people in this house apparently think about your past relationship with Rafe. What do you say to all of that? Is that not worth fighting for?”
“That isn’t a fight,” you dismissed. “That’s people who don’t know me or the person that they’re getting…some form of information from. I don’t care how much trauma dumping you do in six weeks. You’re not gonna have a clue who you’re dealing with. I promise you that. So I don’t care what she’s saying at all—I’m never gonna have to see her again after this. I have people who care about me at home. I have people who know me. These people?” You look at all the participants and shrug. “No offense. I’m sure you’re all great in the real world. But you mean absolutely nothing to me. Your opinions mean less than nothing to me. Your opinions about me? Nothing. Your opinions about the relationship that I had with Rafe? Nothing.” You looked back to Jeff. “You want me to be honest, Jeff? I don’t think that the ‘fight’ being brought to me or whatever you wanna say is even worth this conversation.”
Jeff smiled and nodded at you. “One of the most mature responses that you could have in the face of someone being so openly hostile to you a minute after you even come out here,” he said. He looked over at Alex then. “And you, Alex? Do you feel the same?”
“Absolutely, Jeff,” he said, nodding. “I don’t know these people and I don’t care. They’re not why I’m here. But nah, unlike her I am gonna tell the facts of how Thalia is. Because I’m not cool with her walking around here acting like she’s a victim when she knows damn well she isn’t one.” He scoffed. “And knowing that she’s potentially a match with her ex or whatever? I’m sure she feels at least a little the same.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jeff coaxed.
Alex shook his head. “Just saying, Jeff,” he said vaguely. “I’m not gonna get into it yet. That’s for me and them to talk about later.” The nebulous reference clearly being either Rafe or Thalia…maybe even you. You truly didn’t care about that.
“Fair enough,” Jeff said. He clapped his hands together and turned his body towards the participants. “Now, Rafe…you’ve been very quiet so far today since you found out what was going on tonight. What’s going on in your mind?”
Rafe was silent for a moment. You watched as Thalia turned her body towards him placing her hand possessively on his stomach, stroking it as if trying to be soothing and missing the mark entirely. He didn’t spare her a glance. You could tell he was overwhelmed to some level and his brain was shutting down, only letting him focus on one thing at a time. You could see it in the slightly dazed expression and the pinched turn of his eyes.
“I don’t know Jeff. It’s always hard to see people who meant the world to you and then just…didn’t anymore,” Rafe said vaguely. You actively had to remind yourself to keep breathing evenly so your breath wouldn’t hitch in your throat at his words. “I mean, like, for all of us. These are people who were important in our lives somehow. They’re representations of problems we have in dating. All that. So yeah, it’s like seeing…I don’t know…your mistakes personified for a lot of us.”
You couldn’t help but recoil at that slightly, taking a half-step back like you took a physical blow. The words seemed to register with the rest of the crowd. Murmuring happened on both sides, some of disapproval of his words, some of approval of what he’d said. You took a deep breath, making your face neutral when you felt a girl next to you wrap her arm around your waist. You took the opportunity to use it to ground yourself, wrapping your hand around hers in turn. As much as you hated that you needed it, the support was appreciated.
“Wow,” Jeff said. He glanced at you, saying your name, and then back to Rafe. “Do you think she’s a mistake, Rafe?”
“She taught me a lot about myself,” Rafe said. “And I’ll always appreciate that. But not all relationships are supposed to last. Some of them are just to help us learn more about what we want in a relationship and nothing else.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” Jeff prodded. “Do you categorize your relationship with her as a mistake?”
Rafe looked at you and you met his eye head-on, refusing to be impacted.
You could tell what the answer was going to be before he even opened his mouth.
“Yes,” he said steadily. Immediately, he looked away.
You felt like someone had reached into your chest and tore your heart out. You were suddenly glad that your hand was wound around the girl so no one would see how you were shaking. Your face you could control. Even your tears. But your hands? No. All you wanted now was to go back to your room and call Topper and tell him that you were going to crash with him in Kona sooner than you planned. Crying to your best friend for comfort was the only thing that would even potentially work. But that would have to wait until the night was over. You would be strong until then. You had to.
The muttering amongst the groups on either side grew louder once again. You kept your brain fuzzy and uninvolved, not letting yourself sink into the sticky discomfort of your feelings that would swallow you and encase you in pain like a fly in fucking amber. You couldn’t do this. Not right now.
“And how does that feel?” Jeff said, the question directed at you. “Hearing Rafe call your relationship a mistake? What’s that like for you? Do you feel it’s a fair representation of the relationship you had with him?”
You paused for a moment, looking towards the ground and then back up, a fake smile turning your lips upward. “Well, I’ve known Rafe more or less my whole life. He had a real temper on him when we were younger. So, it’s nowhere near the worst thing that Rafe has called me,” you said. “And besides, he can call me whatever he wants. It’s his right—we live in a free country, right? Whatever. I’m sure that there are things that I’d call him too if I thought it’d make me feel better.”
“And what are those?” Jeff asked, eager to hear some rebuttal from you, clearly.
“Nah. I’m not doing that,” you dismissed. “I feel no need to say that shit. It’s useless.”
Drug addict. Cokehead. Alcoholic. Asshole. Entitled. Liar. Petty. Mean. Fucking mistake. Those were just a few of the descriptors that came to mind.
“Alright. Let’s move on then,” Jeff said, neatly moving the conversation away from you, looking at the girl who had pulled you to her side in a show of support and was still. “Valeria, I see you here with your arm wrapped around her. Supporting her when you met her less than a few hours ago, really. In a show of support that, sometimes, we don’t even see from our own contestants. You hear her ex-boyfriend say something you deem hurtful and you immediately step in to be kind to her. That’s something that I doubt just anyone would do. Clearly, you’re a person who cares deeply about others. What’s it like to see Patrick, a man you loved, in a situation like this where he’s putting love and attention into others?”
“Well, Jeff. I just think it’s a shitty thing to do. You don’t talk about people you loved like that. Not if you really loved them. Because if you and your new girl or whatever are gonna gang up on her that’s fucked. So I’m gonna step in. As for Pat? He’s always been a very…free-spirited person with his affections. That was never gonna change. So…I sincerely hope he can find some form of happiness,” the girl said easily, the words falling off her tongue while she continued rubbing your back.
The conversation portion with the whole cohort of participants felt fucking endless considering you knew it would take up less than ten minutes of an episode. But, eventually, it mercifully was coming to an end. You could tell Jeff was winding it down, wrapping it up, and ready to move on. But, then he hit you with a curve ball.
“Now, for the true purpose of today: communication. You’ve all matched up for this week. You and your potential match are going to sit and spend two hours with your exes. You’re all going to have a conversation getting to know each other,” Jeff said. “Spend some time actually getting to know each other. Talk about the problems that you had in your failed relationships. Talk about the things that worked. The things that you admired.” He gestured towards Rafe. “Or the things that you feel made the relationship a mistake. This is going to be a game changer in terms of figuring out if you’re a perfect match or not. We only have two couples that you haven’t locked in yet. Just two couples you assume are perfect matches, and even them we don’t know. So? Pay attention. This could be one of the last obstacles between you and one million dollars. After that? You’ll spend an hour talking to your ex. Alone. Try to have a meaningful conversation. Then? You’re going to spend the night, all of you, all of your exes, partying poolside. Take the time then to talk to other exes of people who might otherwise be your perfect match. Make it a good night.”
Your blood felt like it had turned to ice in your veins. You had to spend an hour talking to her and to him. Well, at least you’d have Alex with you, you supposed. But, it still was terrible. This felt, frankly, like a heinous punishment that you didn’t deserve. You forced yourself to appear unmoved.
“I know we’re all excited,” Jeff said. He clapped his hands. “So let’s do this. Let’s split you all up.”
The director called cut then, and the atmosphere changed. Only slightly. The participants all relaxed marginally, posture loosening. But, the exes all remained tense. Valeria rubbed your shoulders next to you. “You okay?” she asked. “That was shitty to say.”
“I’m good,” you said, nodding. You gave her a weak smile. “Thank you though. It was super nice of you. I appreciate it.”
She nodded. “I meant what I said. No one deserves that,” she said. “Good luck with your conversations. They both seem real fucking peachy keen to be around.”
You bit back a laugh but Alex, evidently listening, didn’t bother. He laughed openly. “Yeah. Definitely gonna be a fun few hours for us for sure,” he agreed. He winked at you then. “Promise I’ll try to not fight your boy, gorgeous. But if he runs his mouth like that, I’m gonna shut him up.” He playfully tapped your chin, tilting your head up for a second. “And do shut Thalia’s shit down. She has no right to be talking. And I know she’ll just be running her fucking mouth.” You nodded jerkily, not wanting to even comment on it.
Eventually, you were all ripped apart. You were given a brief rundown of the hour and how long you’d actually have cameras on you, where they’d be, hard conversational limits, and everything in between. They set it up so that you’d be in a room with only cameras set up, not operated by cameramen. It would just be you four. God fucking help you all.
“It’s gonna be fine,” Alex said, trying to offer some form of comfort, his hands folded across his chest as he sat back on one of the couches. Rafe and Thalia were about to be brought in and you both were stressed in different ways. And all you could think about was the cameras set up around the room, recording every last piece of this.
You simply nodded, unable to speak. You felt in your bones that this was going to be absolutely fucking awful. But you’d play nice. You’d pretend you didn’t want to scream. You were surprised, however, when Thalia and Rafe entered the room. Thalia walked in, with a smile on her face, and plopped down on the couch across from Alex and you, throwing her feet up with ease. Rafe followed behind, sitting next to her, letting her practically lay over him.
It was gonna be a long fucking two hours.
An even longer night after that.
Fuck, this was a mistake.
“What the fuck are you two doing here?” she demanded.
You didn’t even flinch at her harsh tone. You were working extraordinarily hard to not react with malice to her stupid words or her earlier actions. It was honestly hard. The silence on your part seemed to only serve to anger her more. You didn’t react to her anger and instead stared blankly at her. Alex, next to you, clenched and released his jaw, openly rolling his eyes at her.
“You really don’t get what’s going on here, do you?” she asked rudely. Still, you offered no response and she shook her head disdainfully at you and Alex. “I really don’t care what you and Rafe are or what you do today. You don’t mean shit to me. And at the end of the day? I know where his priorities are now. One day wouldn’t change that.” You tilted your head, still looking at her as if watching paint dry. “You’re not gonna fuck up a million dollars for the people in this house.”
Unable to help it, Alex barked out a laugh. “Fuck, they get Jeff in as a host and suddenly you think this shit actually is Survivor, huh? Fucking crazy,” he said, rolling his eyes. “None of the exes give a fuck about the people you’re with. Or your stupid ass game or any of you, actually.”
Thalia smirked at that. Your hands twitched with the urge to strike her, but you stifled it. “Oh, I definitely believe that,” she cooed, mocking.
“Thals,” Rafe said, sounding tired.
“Baby,” she said immediately, voice fake and innocent. You wanted to scream. Rafe said nothing further. Thalia set her eyes on you then. Her eyes were hard and calculating. “You especially. No one wants you here.”
You leaned back, folding your legs in front of yourself. You crossed your arms and drummed your fingers against your arm. “In what world do you think that I care what you want?” you asked dryly.
Thalia scoffed. “You’re such a cold, heartless, inconsiderate bitch,” she spat.
“Wow, those words mean so much from someone who doesn’t know me at all,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to be filling some stupid little challenge now so you can try to get a million dollars for everyone in this house who probably doesn’t need it?”
“You’re just mad that you,” she tried.
“That’s where I’ll stop you,” you drawled, leaning sharply forward. “Shut the fuck up. You sure run your mouth a lot for someone who I am sure is just desperate to be painted as a victim when the editors go through and make their little arts and crafts project with their footage. And that’s all fine and well and good. Really, sweetie, oh I’ll be rooting for you. I will. But, here’s the thing. My emotions? My life? All that? Not for fucking you. And not for a fucking camera.” You gave her a cold smirk, leaning back again. “Far be it from me to make your boyfriend’s mistake worse, right? So you keep your fucking hands to yourself and you stop running your mouth like you’re hard and we won’t have a fucking problem tonight. Then? We never have to see each other again.”
“This is so fucked,” Alex said. He cleared his throat, eyes leveling on Rafe, interrupting the conversation between you and Thalia. “So, you a cheater too just like her, bro? Or are you just gonna be the next guy she tosses aside?”
Rafe’s jaw clenched. “Don’t fucking talk to me,” he warned.
Alex cut his eyes over to you. “See that’s why I said I’d drag your fucking ex, gorgeous. Because this guy? Something ‘bout his face just…pisses me the fuck off.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Thalia snapped.
“Thalia,” Rafe said, voice sharp. “Don’t make this harder.”
“Oh?” Thalia demanded, rounding on him. “Is this hard for you?” She was sneering at him now in a way that set your teeth on edge. Something about the way she spoke to him reminded you of Rafe’s dad. And suddenly this match made you feel physically ill in a completely different way than it had before. You looked away, hand clenching around your knees. “Well, I’m just so sorry about that, Rafe. How dare I have emotions! I really must be the issue, huh!”
You glanced over at Alex. “She talk to you like that a lot?” you asked him bluntly.
“She don’t know how to talk without being a bitch,” Alex said icily. “And evidently that hasn’t changed.” You bit your tongue to keep from saying well then neither has Rafe’s self-esteem or trauma responses. Alex snapped his head back over to the other pair. “Hey, good to know you haven’t learned how to talk to someone else if you’re so highly evolved Thalia.”
That, for whatever reason, seemed to set off the volatile girl more than she already had been. She looked about ready to launch herself at Alex. Seeming to recognize this, Rafe grabbed her arm gently as if to refocus her. It was something that he’d done to you a fair few times when you’d been together and someone had done something particularly aggravating and you needed to calm down. This proved to be a…bad move. Thalia did indeed refocus. All of her rage onto Rafe, that is. The second that you saw her slap him, though? It was your turn to see white.
You weren’t fully connected to your body as you moved, reacting to the sight. You were on your feet, physically dragging her by her stupidly long hair off of Rafe and throwing her away from him. She seemed stunned that you’d done that. She then seemed pissed you’d done that. So, naturally, her stupid self tried to rush you. Again, you pushed her back, getting closer and closer to being willing to actually hurt her.
“You wanna fucking run that again, princess?” you demanded icily. “Try to hit me, bitch. I’ll fucking hit back I promise you that.” You got closer, glowering at her, practically eye to eye. “You been fucking throwing hands at him? I know that wasn’t the first fucking time? You get off on this shit?” It had been easy to spot the punch she tried to throw. It was even easier still to deflect the punch shoving her far harder. “Try that again and I’m gonna fucking lay your ass out so help me fucking God.”
“Thalia.”
This time the word came from Alex. The word was flat and unimpressed. A quick glance over at him showed a largely disappointed look on his face. And somehow, seeing that seemed to be enough to force Thalia to get a fucking grip. She stopped, slumping back and sulked, walking over to sit down next to Alex. You watched, genuinely disgusted, as she laid her head against Alex’s shoulder and he let her. And when she burst into ugly, blubbering tears you weren’t surprised, but you were angry.
You clenched and unclenched your first three times trying to will yourself to relax some. But, nothing was working. You took a deep breath once…another…another…and another ten times still before you were able to look over at Rafe. He sat there, face pale and eyes cast down. You moved on auto-pilot, the kind of thing that used to be second nature and innate but now felt more…disjointed…forced. You laid your hand softly on his wrist so he’d notice it before moving your hand up to his shoulder. You squeezed it in a pattern of three and his head slowly moved up. He looked at you, dazed and you didn’t know if you were more angry or sad for him, really.
“Stand up,” you said quietly. He looked confused. You clarified. “You’re not staying in this room with that fucking lunatic. And Rafe…I swear to God don’t fucking argue with me on that. You’re lucky I didn’t break her fucking nose. Let’s go.”
Seemingly in a daze, he rose. You cast a look over towards Alex as Rafe followed like a shadow over to the door. You glared at the other man and he gave a half-hearted frown of apology as if he’d expected something like this to happen. That didn’t make anything better. So, you simply shook your head and turned again. You yanked the door open and let Rafe walk out first, face still drawn. You shut the door quietly behind yourself and laid your hand gently on his bicep before gesturing him down the hall. We found not a producer or even an assistant first but instead, Jeff fucking Probst who looked startled to see us.
“You’re supposed to be,” he began.
“I’m supposed to be beating a bitch’s ass for putting her fucking hands on him like some little—” you cut yourself off. You cleared your throat. “Sorry. Forgive me. Thalia fucking hit him. Doesn’t seem like it’s the first time. So if I were you? I’d go ahead and get her the fuck out of here before I call my dad who works in entertainment law and let him tear this piss-poor production apart. And feel free to tell production I said that.”
Jeff winced. “I understand,” he said. He looked at Rafe. “I’m…I’m terribly sorry that happened. That hasn’t happened before as far as I’ve been told. There are mental health staff in the bungalow attached to the house. Go there. I’ll explain everything. Some people will stop by to talk later though, I’m sure.”
“Good,” you replied sharply in place of Rafe who still wasn’t speaking.
Following Jeff’s advice, you shepherded Rafe towards that bungalow where a kind woman gestured you two in before leaving to go get some…paperwork? Who the fuck knew? Who the fuck cared? You looked over at Rafe who was still silent, face pinched. It wasn’t hard to see his leg slightly shaking and the jittering of his hands.
“I hate knowing that wasn’t the first time and that you’d deny it to protect her,” you said bitterly. “Rafe you don’t know her. And you deserve better than that. Just like you always have.”
“I don’t,” he said, his voice coming out short and quiet. “I don’t deserve anything good.”
You pursed your lips and shook your head. “Thought we’d moved past the self-deprecating bullshit,” you commented. “My mistake.” You sighed. “Rafe…your family and friends all love you still. Even now. So don’t waste…your heart on shit like this. Fuck this show. You can afford to break whatever contract you had. Hell, my dad could find a loophole and sue for you I guarantee it. But you…you can’t stay here. You…you deserve good things. And that? That…person...who they’re trying to call your perfect match?” He stayed silent. “You got matched with her because fundamentally you still find yourself in the same place that your dad wanted you to be. You think that you owe everything to everyone else and don’t want to take responsibility or…ownership over anything. For fuck’s sake, Rafe. Do you really want her to be your spokesperson? You want anyone like her to be your spokesperson?” You shook your head vehemently. “You are so much better than that. I don’t…I don’t know if you can see it. I don’t care if you can see it. But it’s true. You threw away a year of sobriety and years of building real self-confidence and not your fake bravado bullshit for this?”
“No you don’t understand,” Rafe said. “I am sober. And I didn’t want–”
The door to the bungalow opened and the woman bustled in, hands absolutely full of stuff. You rose to your feet before the woman even had to open her mouth to tell you to leave. “Cast only,” she said anyway, uselessly.
“Yeah, right,” you said dryly.
“Wait…where are you going?” Rafe asked, face breaking open into vulnerability for a moment.
“Home,” you said shortly. “Worst vacation…ever.” He looked hopelessly confused at that news. “You should call my dad, Rafe. Like now. You are not supposed to go through this shit alone. You know he’ll help you. You have his number.”
“I can’t…they…I don’t have my phone,” Rafe muttered, looking away from you.
Your eyes darkened. “Fuck’s sake these people,” you muttered. You took your phone from your pocket and called your dad before the woman across you could say a word. You gave your dad a curt explanation and he said he’d be in Hawaii in ten hours before briefly chewing you out for not saying where you were going beforehand.
“You can’t leave,” the woman said. “We need to—”
“Don’t care, didn’t ask, go through my fucking lawyer,” you said sharply, handing her your father’s business card. You glanced at Rafe. “He’ll be here in ten hours. Most likely super pissed. So…he’ll raise hell for you.”
“Are you…” Rafe trailed off. You raised an eyebrow. “Will you…stay?”
Your heart shattered and healed and shattered again in an ugly, impossible sort of way. “I…” you tried, trailing off immediately. “You…” Still no luck. Eventually, you were able to settle on, “I need to leave. I need to go home. I…I can’t fucking be here. I can’t see…this. I can’t hear…whatever you’re gonna tell my dad. I can’t see whatever footage he’s gonna have them dredge up. I need to go. Home.” You looked at him, letting out a shaky breath. “And you should consider doing the same thing. As soon as humanly possible.”
Your name spilled from his lips and it sounded so right and so wrong in that moment. “I…I’m…” he tried, voice breaking.
“No,” you denied, giving him a bitter smile. “Don’t. I don’t…I don’t want to hear it, Rafe. I really don’t. I wasn’t going to see someone hurt you. I never have. I never will. But facts are facts right?” His face fell, knowing what you meant. “And I’m a mistake. Let’s not drag it out any longer, right?” You shook your head. “Good luck, Rafe. I…wish nothing but the best for you.”
“I didn’t…” Rafe tried. “I can explain.”
“No,” you denied, holding a hand up. “I can’t do this. Not here. Not now. I’m…done with this. With all of this. Truly.” You let out a devastated-sounding, sad sort of sigh and offered an obviously fake tiny smile. “Just let me know when my dad gets here—you know he’ll forget to.” He went to speak and you held up a hand. “He’ll get your phone back if these psychos don’t give it to you by then.”
“I will,” he said immediately in reply, a sad, almost puppy-dog-like look in his eyes.
You sighed, biting back the urge to cry or scream…or anything else really. “You know what? Never mind. Call Topper. I…just…just let him know. He’ll tell me,” you said, voice going numb.
“Wait,” Rafe said, his voice shaky. “I…I want to tell you.”
“Rafe…please,” you said, giving him your best pleading look and more than willing to beg him if it meant he’d give you a break.
“I…okay. I…I’m sorry,” he said, frowning, looking genuinely remorseful.
As you started to leave, rage somehow carrying you as the influx of adrenaline faded, your name fell from Rafe’s mouth once more. You turned your head to look at him, silent and waiting. It took a few moments for him to crack. The time lingered, settling into crevices of yourself that long seemed gone—abandoned and disappeared with Rafe’s own missing presence. Yes, this was too hard already and the situation had just made it impossible.
“Get home safe,” he said, his voice breaking.
You let out a bitter laugh turning back around and heading out, refusing to turn your head. You knew that if you were to look back you’d cave immediately. And you couldn’t do that.
“You too, Rafe,” you offered blandly.
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Resignation
What if Aki left the Special Division?
Tw: aki x female, smut, sex, slow burn, obvi not canon... Minors, do NOT interact.
If you asked yourself 6 months ago if you’d be tangled up with Aki on his couch, you’d say you’d gone mad.
But there the two of you were— a knit of limbs and bedsheet he pulled from the bed prior.
Half eaten pizza left cold on marbled counter while the movie that ended long ago replayed it’s menu sequence. Clothes scattered over the floor, your bra dangling delicately over one of the cushioned armrests. The mess would’ve caused him restlessness, but Aki didn’t care when he was with you.
You had that effect on him; you made him stop caring. About work, the Gun Devil— you were a blot in his brain he sunk himself in like quicksand. Like the cock he buried inside you, like the feelings he had quietly accumulated over the days he spent with you. Each of you wanting more as he pushed you back and forth on himself, his hands over your legs spreading you open.
“Aki,”
The sound of your voice he wanted to memorize, the subtle upturn in notes that made you sound sultry and feminine. Like a crescendo to his unwavering vibrato of his hips and hums; closing each other’s flesh into one.
“Oh, Aki,”
Now he had you underneath him, legs pulled around his waist to anchor you while he fucked you. Steady with the weight of his own body putting a pleasurable pressure on top of your lungs. Each other’s moans bringing a mindless haze and yet he felt so safe knowing you were there with him. His beacon in the bliss.
That was the moment when he told you he loved you.
At first you’d thought you misheard, his voice muffled in your hair while he buried himself in the crook of your neck, kissing you there with his mouth. The silk of his own hair tangling with yours. But then he said it again: it was as soft as a whisper but felt as deep as thunder.
I love you.
It finally died, you realized. The part that caused him years of pain suddenly broke with a simple admittance of his love for you. You drew his face to yours, inspecting and immortalizing this image of him in your mind. Aki was free.
When Aki realized he was falling in love with you he began to wonder what life could be like. It made him contemplate his own future— something he’d always felt would come to a bitter, necessary end to accomplish his goal of revenge. To think otherwise felt selfish; it scared him, made him feel vulnerable- the guilt and betrayal to his family for even considering he could live happily while they laid in their graves.
That was until the day you kissed him after a night out of drinking. It was like the first day of spring; he could still remember how warm that kiss was. And while everyone left the two of you stayed; spending company until daybreak, sharing things he couldn't have unless he trusted you could bear it with him. By the drizzled sun of morning Aki forgot the reason why he’d ever think of keeping you out of his life. His family would’ve wanted this; and more importantly, Aki wanted this.
“I love you too,” was the simple reply you gave before becoming each other’s rib.
Impeccable handwriting neatly folded as a crisp letter on Makima’s desk just hours before. He left before even saying goodbye to his superior, since every contract somehow ceased once vengeance lost it's teeth. He left as quietly as he came; rushing home to see you and smiled once he'd seen you'd let yourself in, succumbing to each other's needs shortly after.
Aki held you until his arms felt numb, watching you sleep soundly and admiring your bare body in his before turning off the lights. He realized he could always tell you later—now that he has a lifetime.
And that’s why he put in his resignation at the Special Division.
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If you got this far thank you 🥹 I haven’t written a damn thing in months. I might’ve lost my spark and felt self conscious of my writing after being gone for so long. But it felt good to right this! Anyways… Hope you enjoyed <3 AND REBLOG CAUSE THAT FEELS EVEN BETTER HEHE
#i’ve come back to tumblr to enjoy aki content#aki x you#aki hayakawa#hayakawa aki#aki csm#aki x reader#aki x y/n#aki smut#aki hayakawa smut#aki hayakawa x you#aki hayakawa x reader#aki hayakawa x y/n#aki hayakawa x female reader#csm smut#csm x reader#chainsaw man smut
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More BlaCaviar/Pearlviar
I had done this a while ago, but many times I just scan the drawings and completely forget about them in my "Scan" folder. Also, lately I have been very stressed and losing hours of sleep, nothing serious, just family events and the fact that I am close to finishing my university degree. I've also been a little addicted to ARK: Survived Ascended but that's another topic.
Anyway, as I was coming up, a long time ago I had made a story that I never finished, but maybe one day it will end (XD) as soon as I drew it and I forgot about it. After years of the beginning of the marriage of Black Pearl and Caviar, adding the birth of their two daughters, the republic never knew who Black Pearl really was, it was only known that the Duskgloom Sea attacks had stopped, no one knew the reason, It just happened, without imagining that the beast of the Duskgloom Sea now inhabited the republic.
For a reason that I have not yet questioned, the republic ends up finding out who BlackPearl is, causing panic in the republic (Something not very surprising yupee) in addition to the fact that the sailors who have lost ships and family in the Duskgloom Sea, made a demonstration in they seeks justice since BlackPearl is responsible for those losses, she knows it, but she has changed and tries to make an apology that obviously no one accepts, they want to bring her to justice or take justice into their own hands. Caviar, who defends his wife, knows that there must be justice but not in that way, but the inhabitants of the Republic take him as an accomplice of the "Beast of the Duskgloom Sea" where things end up getting out of control, since even the Other Elders of the Republic get involved, Custard II being one of the most involved, since he sees the Sovereign of Duskgloom Sea as a great help to defend the republic, basically, a weapon.
As he is the "Leader" of the Elders of the Republic, he decides to propose a deal to Captain Caviar and BlackPearl, where he would calm all the Republicans, forgive the mermaid's crime but only if she agrees to be part of the arms of the Republic. republic, although it is a good proposal, neither Black Pearl nor Caviar are convinced when they learn of the bad tricks of Custard II, by not accepting a whole disaster results that ends in the separation of the members of the Salty Shark, the imprisonment of Caviar and the capture of BlackPearl. And I left it until then, I didn't take up the topic again because I was busy with my classes.
Regarding the separation of the Salty Shark, it was to keep Caviar and BlackPearl's daughters safe, since, if they try to use BlackPearl as a form of weapon or defense of the republic, they could do it with the girls as well, after They are all half Mermaids, this would lead to an adventure in the ocean, where the girls find out that they are like their mother, seek help from BlackPearl's sisters and blablabla. I stayed there and didn't continue, maybe one day I'll come back but, that's the context of these doodles
All the text above was translated with Google Translate, English is not my first language.
#black caviar#pearlviar#crk#captain caviar cookie#black pearl cookie#cookie run kingdom#blacaviar#cookie run
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WHB Belphie discussion! (Again)
I'm gonna be going back and rewriting some of my theories.
So first off, according to this post, Belphie seems... More lenient than he seems. Which means he's definitely not that strict and/or maybe doesn't care as much about what his people do or where they go? (Or maybe that's just because those three are high-ranking devils so of course they have more freedom)
Which makes me retract on my earlier statement from my previous post:
for some reason, I have a feeling that he's very mean? Or like, he's one of those who will bully MC LOL
(though I can't tell if it's bully because he likes mc, or bully because that's just how he is)
Or at least, he isn't the type to just punish his people because he got irritated (unlike Levi) so it makes me think that he probably bullies MC because he likes them. That's just his attitude when it comes to the person he likes. He treats them... Not like shit, but not very nicely either hahaha.
OH and I just realized from the post I mentioned earlier that Dre has a halo! What?! I completely forgot about that so I'm embarrassed about what I said regarding Belphie's halo—
......I was going to say something about Belphie wearing angel limbs/pieces as accessories, but after seeing @/aki-shun's and @/sparkbeast20's observation and theories, I'm starting to think that the halo is indeed because of an experiment. From their observation, Belphie, Levi and Mammon are the only kings so far that had their mouths closed in their teasers, all the other kings do not.
Which leaves me with a foreboding feeling...Both the halo and the double pupils are definitely part of that experiment.
I'm only aware with Levi's past of escaping from an angel camp, and I've only just recently (like, a few hours ago) found out that Mammon has been as well. Which makes me think Belphie definitely also got 'napped and experimented on by the angels. Which is just so 😭 I wanna hug him (until he pushes me away lmao)
Also, thanks for @/eternal-auditor for reminding me of Beel's obscenely delicious looking dick and the tattoo on it that Belphie also has on his forehead which is.... honestly so boring. They're devils and they have tattoos of The Devil's insignias...but I guess PB has done worse...
Ah, but having another devil that has tattoos is nice, don't get me wrong. I wonder how many Belphie will have. I reckon he has a lot (and I also reckon it's to cover up some of his lingering scars).
Also I drew him some more in school. I tried to incorporate that halo he has and changed his attire to resemble Dre's since it's supposed to be a uniform.
(sorry about the quality, I'm too lazy to redraw this in ibis)
I redesigned his hair in this because I just realized that he could also have a half-up do and still look like the teaser!!! I was wearing this style earlier (but less pointy and ragged because my hair was long and wet and incredibly straight) so I thought why not give him this? He looks like he could be drinking champagne while murdering people with Sanzu lmao. Very mafia-esque which I ADORE
Also also!!! Going back to sparkbeast20's post, there's a Twitter post by @/WHB_kiri where they drew Belphie's eye where it only shows the second (upper) pupil when he's serious. So here's the last of my two cents!
Wouldn't it be fun if his pupils rotated as well? Like the swirly spin wheel thing that hypnotists use to make someone fall asleep etc. but it's Belphie trying to threaten someone. That would be fun.
Aaaanyway, I will probably be making more of these because Belphie in general is very special to me<33......LMAO so watch out and filter if you're getting tired of it! Also I apologize if this whole thing is so gibberish and difficult to understand. I haven't been sleeping right and my brain is just scrambled ahahaha
Also, fuuuuck me. There's a new Luci card and it's only in the stupid premium pass?! Goddamn it! I didn't get Luci when he launched so what the fuck?!?! 😭😭🙃🤬🤬😭😭
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